#<- shit that idiots who are too invested in a dnd podcast say
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finished the suffering game graphic novel. reviewing my options now. think i’m gonna go with uhhhhhhhh Formless Overwhelming Melancholic Loneliness
#oh BOISE we are up too late tonight fellas!!!!#shouldn’t be awake at this hour! i’m too old and too mentally unstable to be awake at midnight these days!!!#the Malaise Miasma has got me now tho. closed the book and was immediately Afraid to go to sleep#because of the. loneliness? I guess#hey god when do i get to get lost in the sauce and find out all my broken edges are because something took half my heart away from me#hey god when do i find out that i’m not deficient in the vitamin i just need to get my memories of my whole heart back#hey god. hey. hey god. thought that shit was what i was getting with antidepressants but it’s not working. i need my heart back god#<- shit that idiots who are too invested in a dnd podcast say#the dream is that you feel unwhole and unwell because you are literally physically mendably unwhole. some jellyfish gogurt will get u right#there is a tangible exact specific reason why you are the way you are. and it will be fixed. voila!#that aching void inside you is soooo shaped like a specific person you never knew you forgot but you can remember them!#it’s not a void at all! it’s just a slot where someone else goes. all better. problem solved. dilemma deleted#so much better than knowing the void is just a void and the best you can hope for is covering it up with increasingly competent area rugs#so no one sees and it doesn’t hurt anyone and you can usually forget it’s there!#god. kill me. take me out back I’m done for the week at least
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