#<- prev u and me are twinning rn

[lunchtimebedamned1997]

Harrow The Ninth current progress reading thoughts (pt.2)

Part one | Here

Please no spoilers for beyond chapter 11 of book two, and none for book three please.

Spoilers for HTN and GTN below:

Chapters 7-9 (+prev chapters rambling):

HAHAHA GOD'S NAME IS JOHN AND THE SPOILER I GOT SAID THAT WAS GIDEON'S DAD'S NAME I WAS RIGHT!!!

Also Harrow being disappointment by and internally 'making fun' (as much as Harrow can in the state she's in, the poor thing) of God's name being John is so fucking funny to me. Like, I had the same reaction to the name John and his ownership of it, Harrow. I feel vindicated ty, girly. XD

I fucking love how Moira Quirk voices Harrow btw. I keep doing 'Harrow Voice' around the house now and it is far too fun. Also I miss Gideon give me my bby girl back and don't make her suffer too much!!! (She's gonna suffer so much, isn't she?) She [Moira] slips back into 'Gideon voice' here and there despite it being Harrow's perspective and I don't know if that's intentionallll ohhh my god WAIT I'm so dumb. Is the main section of the book in second person and leading with "you" because it's not just Harrow??? Bc she's a Lyctor and technically not just one person anymore???? Fuck that would make so much sense. Bc when Harrow is having dream/delusion time, it's back in the third-person format of the first book, which would work so perfectly with this train of thought since, in those delusions, Harrow is just Harrow. In a world without Gideon. God, if that's why, that is such a clever use of formatting and makes me appreciate the use of second person. (Which I usually do not like at all. In fact, usually, actively hate XD)

I just got to the part where we find out The Saint of Duty is also named Ortus?! And Harrow promptly passes tf out??? I fucking love this series haha (Which means I've just finished chapter nine as I type this note woop woop!)

I really am just feral for Harrow to open more of her notes and - OH MY GOD RIGHT SHE KISSED IANTHE?! XD I know it was to check that she hadn't cut out her tongue or removed teeth to sever the pact and that she had to be 'discrete' about it (oml) but holy fuck I'm cackling at the memory. I cannot believe Harrow kissed fucking Ianthe triden-fucking-tarius before she kissed Gideon or that stupid creepy ice woman!!! I'm cackling at the absurdity.

Though - I mean, Gideon dying by killing herself to save Harrow (and Camilla), and like literally doing so, to send her soul to live inside of Harrow??? They skipped the U-haul and went to fantasy soul-fused martyrdom XD (I'm using Martyr here even though it's wrong bc I'm typing this at 3 a.m. and I can't think of a better word for this rn - and this series is dripping with religious stuff soooo idc rn (I so do. It is actively bothering me)) (it's now 8 p.m. the following day as I'm editing this and my internal thesaurus is still failing me woops XD)

Why is Ianthe fucking here bro - I don't hate her but I certainly don't like her, and I'm neutral in my experience of not liking her so... IDK Ugh. They're probably going to make me attached at some point and then kill her.

I do like that Ianthe seems to be genuinely worried about Coronabeth's whereabouts. It's nice to see her care for something (someone) other than herself. I know her Cavalier was insufferable, but she killed him with so much coldness! Honestly, I suppose the more I think of her, the more interested that I am. I don't think I fully grasped the reveal that Coronabeth wasn't a necromancer at the end of the last book? Why on earth - metaphorical earth i suppose - why on any planet would your family want you to pretend your twin is also magical? Was it for appearances? Was it to keep her sister safe from their family? She managed to delude everyone into believing it the entirety of book one??? Just how powerful was she before Lyctorhood. How powerful is she now.

She seems to at least have less cognitive resolve than Harrow - if not less power overall - considering Harrow could use theorems in The River... but perhaps that was more Gideon's influence on Harrow's power than her own? They don't seem to be very integrated at the moment - especially with Harrow's falsified memories? But she is a Lyctor so idk. Mercy seemed flabbergasted by it.

I also did want to mention that I liked the detail that Delusional!Harrow was glad her eyes 'hadn't changed much' bc Ortus and her had similar, black ninth-eyes. Why does The Body have Gideon's eyes. Why does the body give her advice. Is Harrow crazy (you know, clinically not just... Harrow XD) or is she truly being haunted?

I'm actually really enjoying having somewhere to sort through some of my jumbled thoughts as I read! Especially with a book series like this that has so many moving parts - many of which I'm sure I've only gotten the barest scrap about - I've probably missed quite a few tbh.

It's fun getting to meet some more of the surviving Lyctors, and it was really interesting to hear about Cytherea a bit from their perspective, and get a bit more of the very ancient timeline sorted.

Bro I've been listening to the audiobooks and I feel like I'm in an Olympic obstacle course looking up all these names while trying to avoid spoilers. I fully expected Cytherea to be spelled Kithrea and Gideon's last name to be Navv and not Nav. etc. etc. Also though Ortus' name was Aughtus - I did not hear that 'r' XD My brain also keeps deciding that Magnus and Abigail are Maximus and Annabeth???? I don't have any clue why. This is what happens when you give a visual learner an audiobook I suppose.

Also did Ianthe kill Silas at the end of the last book when she became a Lyctor? And his Cavalier? I fully lost track of whatever happened to those two. I'm going to have to go back at some point and re-listen to that whole Ianthe section.

Chapter 10:

It was really nice getting to see Magnus and Abigail, even slightly-odd Harrow-skewed dream versions of them.

Magnus's eye's being 'a color that was suddenly hard to define' and asking Harrow "is this really how it happened?" is fucking haunting bro.

Also poor Ortucs, let that poor make-believe baby be a scribe XD It was also interesting how much his agreeableness aggravates Harrow. It's such a nice, jolting ache for her and for us. How hollow and absent her life is without Gideon. How much it lacks color both literal and metaphorical.

Oh. Ohhhh my god, I need to be paying more attention to the 'crazy' notes in the dreams, don't I? Implantation?! Of Gideon mayhaps?

She has a very physical reaction to seeing these notes as well, her eyes 'almost strobing' at the sight of it. Like it's something that does not fit into her carefully-crafted false reality. Something like Gideon. How Gideon or Gideon's soul or essence or whatever would have any idea of things pre-conception, I don't know. But this is all made up, so who's to say, right? I suppose it could have to do with Harrow as well, given dream!Abigail's comments about the soul-price hovering around Harrow. Even if the notes are not quite so literal, I'm sure that they don't mean nothing. Especially because Ortus, the literal manifestation of Harrow's rewriting of events - can't read it, refutes it. Surely they must mean something. Who knows, maybe it's about the girl in the ice.

The fact that Harrow, or at least, falsified-reality-dream-Harrow, has never eaten a potato is absolutely tragic (I type, while eating Gnocchi, feeling quite mocking towards our potato-less girl, despite no intention to.) Though, I wouldn't put it past our Queen of Misery to decide in this falsified reality, to deny herself the existence of potatoes in the Ninth. Just to make herself that much more miserable XD

Also LOL to even dream Ortucs being like "Bro I'm so glad this wasn't what I ended up to be" like, poor dead mama's boy. I actually feel kind of bad for him. Born in the wrong house to the wrong family at the wrong point in time, huh? Sorry your ship blew up, pookie. But like, also maybe try zoloft or vitamin D, babes, you're really bringing down the vibe - and like, the vibe is quite literally dead with all this necromancy so... that is really saying something sweetie. XD

I've wondered a couple times if the woman in the ice has anything to do with Gideon specifically, like being her mother - bc there's technically no proof thus far (to my memory) that the dead woman who carried Gideon in the life-support container was actually her mom. Wasn't Gideon only an hour old when found? All of this is so funky. I'm thinking so many things you guys sshashohaowihaoij Could the woman who brought Gideon to the Ninth have been taking her 'back to her mother' if there were time-shinnanigan things? Like if she was born or stillborn ages ago - or removed from the woman in the ice w/o really being born and god put her into the resurrection sleep or or or. I really just don't know. Fuck, I'm so curious. Idk I feel like I'm grapsing at straws here, but I was right about God being her dad and that felt just as insane at the time XD Also, fr though, WTF is god? Like, tell me.

Chapter 11:

HA - hahaha XD Ohh my god. Gideon saw Cythrea's dead body from Harrow's eyes and went "fuck you, bitch, die again.", huh? XD Not Harrow using the sword in her blackout even though they're not fully integrated. You cannot convince me that wasn't our precious Gideon being so very herself lmao

I wonder if it's Gideon like... directly, or if it's more of an echo of her final purpose in regards to her sacrifice? I imagine Harrow blacking out around that whole section is bc she's not integrated with Gideon (and can't even let herself remember the reality of her LMAO)

ONTO ACT TWO!!! WOOP WOOP!

[cescalr]

u kno how everyone has their own version of Reverse Falls?? well i have one of those lol but rn what im saying is: my version of the au where the pines twins swap places (grunkles for mystery,,,, u kno,,, i think its called Gravity Rises? Anti-Gravity??? I can’t remember damn) yeah i have little bits of dialogue written,,,, if only i could draw... anyway all under the read more:

[[the scene where Mabel cheats off of Dipper in class; prev the scene where Stan cheats off Ford. Flashback to convo;]]

Dipper: Look. All you need is decent grades in math, right? Just copy off me. 'S not like the teachers pay attention during exams, anyway.

Mabel: I dunno, Dipper...

Dipper: Come on. We need scolarships. Our parents can't afford two full rides to college.

Mabel: It feels kinda... fraud-y, though.

Dipper: Think about it this way, hey - those rich kids pay their way past exams to a full ride, this is no more unfair than that. Just levelling the playing field. They're cheating at life - you're just opening up opportunities.

Mabel: True...

Dipper: Anyway. Nobody gets left behind, right?

Mabel: Haha. Yeah. Who's to say I won't leave /you/ behind? [punches his arm, with a smile.]

Dipper: Hah. Very funny.

Mabel: Thanks, bro-bro. Awkward sibling hug?

Dipper: Awkward sibling hug.

[hug]

Both: Pat-pat.  

---

[[Big argument! Replaces the ford accuses Stan of breaking his machine. The conversation with the headmaster [uhhh, principal? in america?? i dunno im sorry] of the school is done w/ Dipper replacing Stan and Mabel replacing Ford bc I Like To Make Things Interesting!]]

Mabel: Come on, Dipper! I mean. Just - what kind of money is in /paranormal investigation/, anyway?

Dipper: What kind of money is in sculpting?

Mabel: That's not fair.

Dipper: Neither is you repeating our parents' talking points, but here we are. It's not about the money, Mabel.

Mabel: Well if it's not, then what's the point of you being on the opposite kind of the country to me?

Dipper: What's the point of you being on the opposite side of the country to /me/? Oh, that's right. You got a full ride anywhere you'd like, and there I am, trouble-maker, crazy-guy extraordinaire with the weird interests and stuipd belief in the supernatural. There was only one film school that'd take me, Mabel. You're the one who locked yourself into California.

Mabel: Why didn't you /tell/ me?

Dipper: I didn't think you'd want me around that much. What have I ever done, except pull down your stupid reputation?

Mabel: You can't still be on that. You know I don't-

Dipper: Still didn't say anything, though did you?

Mabel: That's not fair at all, Dipper.

Dipper: You never say anything. And here I am, always defending you. Maybe I felt we needed some space, huh? Maybe you give off the aura of wanting space. I'm not fun to be around.

Mabel: I didn't mean that. I just meant - you can get... kind of into a headspace I can't follow. I'm not - I don't believe in all your -

Dipper: Dumb conspiracies?

Mabel: Yes! Dipper, just - there's nothing down that road. You know that. You'll be -

Dipper: A laughingstock? Been there. Used to it.

Mabel: It doesn't have to be like that. You're really, really smart-

Dipper: So the only thing I can want to do is science?

Mabel: No, that's not it at all -

Dipper: He's a punk, he's headed nowhere, 'Mabel's a good girl, a real talent, smart and artistic... Dipper has the brain for a good life, but not the mindset. There's Fantartstic Academy, it's in California, so it's not too far from home, but it's on the other side of the state, a good distance away - I think it'd be good for your daughter to get independence, to find friends and a life outside of the trouble her brother brings. Mabel could have a real good go of it -'

Mabel: Stop it! Dipper, you know I don't believe-

Dipper: But you do! You always have!

Mabel: Just because you're /anxious/ doesn't mean you're right! We're okay! You're just paranoid!

Dipper: That's not fair.

Mabel: Oh, so now /I'm/ the unfair one? I get it. Things are only unfair when it affects /you/.

[pause]

Mabel: Why d'you have to do this?

Dipper: I - I have to prove that I'm right, Mabel. I have to. This stuff exists, I know it does, I've just got to find it.

Mabel: And, what? You're going to prove something people have been trying to figure out for centuries? Dipper. How can you tell me to get out of dreamworld when that's where you're staying?

Dipper: Screw you.

Mabel: Screw /you/.

---

As for other stuff;

Mabel makes the portal! It takes Dipper 30 years to activate it after she’s pushed in bc her instructions are Terrible. Partly because she didn’t understand much of it. Bill painted the whole thing as like, a monument of the arts or w/ever im still figuring that one out 

Dipper takes Grunkle Stan’s place as the person they’re sent to visit. He’s been pretending Mabel’s been in various foreign countries for years @ this point. Uses either magic/tech to create voicemails for the family, has her be bubbly but distant, w/ promises to visit that she never keeps, which. you know he feels bad about but he needs to make people think she’s alive

Dipper had a ghost hunting TV show! For like three years, then went off the air bc of low ratings. Apparently real ghosts scare people! And kill them. Who knew. Also everyone thought the special effects were bad. Whoops. Anyway he runs a tourist attraction out of Mabel’s old ‘nature living art lodge’. It makes a good haunted house during high traffic at halloween/Summerween. The entrance to the basement is in his office, which used to be one of Mabel’s art studios. Dipper took all the bill art down because he pays attention to warnings written in blood. 

Im swapping all ages here, so Dipper is good friends with Pacifica and Wendy. Gideon is ... a threat. Lee, Nate and Thompson are still in town. Tambry and Robbie are not. 

Soos is 8, Fiddleford is 13, Stan and Ford are 12. Etc. 

Because of how we’re swapping this, some people’s parents might have to become their children. I’m not a fan of that, but we’ll see. Filbrick Pines was the youngest sibling of Mabel and (Mason) Dipper. He’s not well liked by the family. And he doesn’t like his own family all that much, hence the distance between them. He likes his kids even less, though, so Gravity Falls they go! I hate that guy. 

Ma Pines may or may not come with them? Hmm.

[seoafin]

i just noticed, that when i compared kaikai kitan’s lyrics from those lyrics channel/ websites with eng translations & from jpnese websites, the kanjis aren’t the same, that’s why it seems um, “choppy” so i decided to try translate the ones from jpnese website (it seems more reliable LMAO, i’ll add the links for the comparison [if u want to] in the end) AND IM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG ASKS

(before i start, i still have a rly long way to go with this language so i’m so sry if there’s any mistranslations 🙇‍♀️)

[note: literal meaning = with → ; idiomatic/ my (shitty) personal take = with ⇒]

有象無象 人の成り(uzo-muzou, hito no nari) = small fry, what (or how) a man is composed of

虚勢 心象 人外 物の怪みたいだ (kyosei, shinshou, jingai, mononoke mitaida) = fictitious, an image, a monster, it's like a demon spirit/ ghost

→ small fry, a man is composed of fictitiousness & an imagination : it's like a monster or a demon spirit/ ghost.

⇒ humanity is just like a mixture of small fries. ppl are usually trying to show their goodness, but it's superficial (“humans are built from lies. there’s always an underside to the emotions and actions shown on the surface. but negative emotions...like hatred and murderous intent never lie.” - jogo). they’re not the human being, but like monsters/ the fake one. [cursed spirits’ pov?]

虚心坦懐 命宿し(kyoshin-tankai, inochi yadoshi) = feeling calm, new life springs

あとは ぱっぱらぱな 中身なき人間 (ato wa pappara pa na nakami-naki ningen) = at the last a foolish, empty man is left

→ calm spirits were gifted lives. what left is the foolish & empty (hu)man.

⇒ and now, the nature, which people fear, were gifted lives as the cursed spirits. they’re the genuine "humanity." except for them, the rest are just the assemblage of foolish & hollow people. [from the stand point of cursed spirits]

寄せる期待 不平等な人生 (yoseru kitai, fubyoudou na jinsei) = with an anticipation/ expectation, with an unfair life

才能もない, 大乗非日常が (saino mo nai, daijo hinichijo ga) = without talent, the days out-of-ordinary that i arrived in to save the people

→ my life was an unfair and inept one, and i just lived with some anticipation. now, i’ve arrived in the days out-of ordinary to save the people.

⇒ though he expected how his life would treats him, all he can see are the unfair deaths of the ppl. yuuji, a boy without any talent (no cursed technique/ a capacity for jujutsu), has gotten involved in the days out-of ordinary to save others.

⇒ geto told himself that protecting ppl is his job, & struggled for their peace. but, the constant unfair deaths of his allies even though the weak they’re trying to save are foolish is the truth. the days out-of ordinary suddenly comes to the ordinary, non-talented people (the village ig)

怨親平等に 没個性 (onshin-byodou, ni botsu-kosei) = treating equally both my foes and friends, and with no personality stands out

辿る記憶 僕に居場所などないから(tadoru kioku, boku ni ibasho nadonaikara) = pursuing my memory for my existence, nowhere is left

→ i rmbr that i treated ppl equally even the ppl who had no personality that stands out (might be a continuation of the prev line), but i have nowhere to go now.

⇒ once, geto treated ppl, both shamans & non-shamans equally, but the latter didn't have any personality stand out in themselves bc of their ignorance; besides, [sometimes] they show their hostility to them (how the twins are treated in the countryside). after eliminating them, he remembers the days with his friends, but there’s nowhere to go [stsg confrontation ig]

夢の狭間で 泣いてないで (yume no hazama de naitenaide) = don’t cry (like that) in the gap between the dreams

どんな顔すればいいか わかってる(don-na kaosureba iika, wakatteru) = how to express my feeling on my face is that, i know/ understand

だけど まだ応えてくれよ(dakedo mada, kotaete kureyo) = but answer me for a while longer

→ i know (/understand) how i should express my feeling, but answer me for a while longer.

闇を祓って, 闇を祓って(yami wo haratte (2x)) = purify the darkness (2x)

夜の帳が下りたら 合図だ (yoru no tobari ga oritara aizu da) = when the curtain of the night has been lowered, it's the signal

→ shamans exorcise cursed spirits within a curtain (tobari)

相対して 廻る環状戦 (aitai-shite, mawaru kanjo-sen) = in opposite (/on the other hand), unending/endless battles go around

戯言などは 吐き捨ていけと(zaregoto nado wa hakisute ike to) = for words like nonsense, i was told to spit out them and go

→ they (?) told me to spit out such nonsense like words, and just go ahead.

まだ止めないで まだ止めないで(mada tomenaide (2x)) = don't let it stop for now (2x)

→ don’t let me stop for now (2x)

誰よりも 聡く在る 街に生まれしこの正体を(dareyorimo satoku aru machi ni umareshi kono sho-tai wo) = the presense being the smartest for the identity born in this town/ this identity of the creature born in this town exists as the smartest one.

今は ただ呪い呪われた僕の未来を創造して(imawa tada, noroi-norowareta boku no mirai wo, sozou shite) = for now, just create my future that was cursed /it creates my cursed future

⇒ itadori’s life was flipped upside down after eating the finger and turned to a vessel, but he continues on anyways to see the cursed future

走って転んで 消えない痛み抱いては(hashitte koronde, kienai itami daite wa) = run and slip, and with embracing the pain that doesn't leave me

→ i’ll keep running though sometimes i slipped, along with embracing the pain that doesn't leave me.

⇒ on the way, yuuji’s been through some tragedies and he’ll encounter much more. even so, he’s going to embrace the pain that won’t ever fade away (maybe abt junpei..?) [1]

世界が待ってる この一瞬を(sekai ga matteru, kono isshun wo) = the world is waiting for this moment

抒情的感情が 揺らいでいくバグ(jojouteki-kanjou ga yuraideiku, bug) = emotions are changing their forms with a bug

→ the BUG causes my emotions to change gradually.

(tbh i’m still confused on how to translate this)

↳ 揺ら yura = waver/ unstable ; 抒情 jojou = description of one’s feeling

従順に従った欠陥の罰 (jyu-jyun ni shitagatta kekkan no batsu) = the punishment of the defective who followed obediently

⇒ it’s a punishment, geto, as a defective carried bc of following it (a person, ig??¿)

死守選択しかない 愛に 無常気 (shishu-sentaku shikanai ai ni, mujo-ki) = the choice left is to protect it at any cost, love and the heart that feels everything dies/ change easily

↳ or, impermance in love, there’s no choice but to protect it until the very end(/ at any cost) with a heart that feels everything change/ dies easily

声も出せないまま (koe mo dasenai mama) = my voice hasn't been able to be raised/ without being able to raise my voice

傀儡な誓いの無き 百鬼夜行 (kugutsu na, chikai no naki, hyakki-yako) = without any vow that were empty like a puppet, hyakki yako (the night parade of the 100 demons)

→without any vow, geto caused the hyakki yako. it’s like he’s just a marionette, being empty (maybe it’s implying that 🧠 is controlling it rn)

数珠繋ぎなこの果てまでも (juzu-tsunagi na kono hate mademo) = even to the end where everything (every event in this world) is linked together

⇒ even after gojo killed him

極楽往生 現実蹴って 凪いで(gokuraku oujo, genjitsu kette, naide) = rest in peace, kick the reality, and calm down

→ rest in peace? it doesn't exist in the reality, so i kicked it, and then calmed down

⇒ geto can’t even have a peaceful death, he wants to kick (read : strangle) the reality which has his body in a shaman’s control

命を投げ出さないで (inochi wo nagedasanaide) = don't throw your life away

内の脆さに浸って(uchino morosa ni hitatte) = bask in the fragility of one's heart

→ don’t throw your life away without basking in the fragility of your heart

どんな顔すればいいか　わかんないよ (don-na kao sureba iika wakan-naiyo) = i don’t know how i should express my feeling (with my face)

今はただ応えてくれよ(imawa tada kotaete kureyo) = but just answer me for now

→ i don't know how i should express my feeling, but answer me just now

五常を解いて 五常を解いて(gojo wo toite (2x)) = disentangle gojo [confucianism] (2x)

→ disentangle the thought of gojo (2x)

⇒rescue gojou (from the prison realm) [explanation at the end]

不確かな声を紡ぐイデア(futashika na koe wo tsumugu idea) = the idea deliberates the unclear voices (that’s hard to hear)

相殺して 廻る感情線 (sousai shite, mawaru kanjousen) = countervail something, and the continuous emotion going around (/ looping/ revolving)

→ my continuous emotion is going around in my mind with (sth ?¿) countervailing it [i actually wanna go w neutralize it but it seems off]

その先に今 立ち上がる手を(sonosaki ni ima, tachiagaru te wo) = on the road ahead, now give me the hand to raise myself up

→ give me ur hand to raise myself up to see my future (yuuji’s pov(?)?))

ただ追いかけて ただ追いかけて(tada oikakete (2x)) = just by following / u just kept following them (?) [2x]

⇒ yuuji following in gojo’s path (taking the line after this into acct)

誰よりも強く在りたいと願う 君の運命すら (dare yorimo tsuyoku aritai to negau kimi no unmei sura) = even the fate of yours despite of your desire that being stronger than anyone else

→ even the fate of yours despite of the desire that being stronger than anyone else,

⇒ most likey yuuji, and his line, “i want to become strong. please teach me to be ‘the strongest’”

今はただ ほの暗い夜の底に (ima wa tada, honogurai yoru no soko ni) = just only for now, at the bottom of the gloomy (/dim) night

深く深く落ちこんで(fukaku fukaku ochikonde) = deeply, much more deeply (it) falls

→ it has only fallen to the bottom of the gloomy night deeply, much more deeply for now.

⇒ (+ the continuation from the previous line) this may implied shibuya (?), only more than 4 hours passed for the whole arc after all and yuuji witnessing what happened to nanami and nobara in front of his eyes [2]

不格好に見えたかい (bukakko ni mietakai) = seems (seemed) uncool?

これが今の僕なんだ (korega imano bokunanda) = this is what i am, how my present being

→ this is what i am, what i can be now

何者にもなれないだけの屍だ 嗤えよ(nanimono nimo, narenai dakeno, shikabaneda waraeyo) = i'm just only a dead that can't be anything, anyone, you can ridicule me (for it)

→ you can ridicule me. i'm just only a dead that can't be anything, anyone.

⇒ geto (?) and his wild goose chase (?) but now he’s dead and someone is using his body

↳ 屍 = can also be corpse

目の前の全てから 逃げることさえやめた(menomae no subetekara, nigeru koto sae yameta) = everything in front of me, i’ve quit running away from/ i’ve quit running away from all the things surround (/in front of) me

イメージを繰り返し 想像の先をいけと (image wo kurikaeshi, so-zo no saki wo ike to) = keep drawing inspiration, and go over the (/ ur) imagination

⇒ (+ continuation from the last line) this one may refer to yuuji’s strong will or megumi in jjk 58 “with a firm base, skill, and imagination...a person can change to the slightest of events”

闇を祓って 闇を祓って (yami wo haratte (2x)) = purify the darkness (2x)

夜の帳が下りたら合図だ (yoruno tobari ga oritara aizu da) = when the curtain of the night has been lowered, it's the signal

相対して 廻る環状戦 (sou-sai shite, mawaru kan-jyo-sen) = in opposite (/on the other hand), unending/endless battles go around

戯言などは 吐き捨ていけと(zaregoto nado wa, hakisute ike to) = for words like nonsense, i was told to spit out them and go

→ they told me to spit out such nonsense like words, and just go ahead.

まだ止めないで まだ止めないで(mada tomenaide (2x)) = don't let it stop for now (2x)

→ don't let it (/me) stop for now (2x)

誰よりも 聡く在る 街に生まれしこの正体を(dareyorimo satoku aru machi ni umareshi kono sho-tai wo) = the presense being the smartest for the identity born in this town

→ this identity of the creature born in this town exists as the smartest one.

今は ただ呪い呪われた僕の未来を創造して(imawa tada, noroi-norowareta boku no mirai wo, sozou shite) = for now, just create my future that was cursed /it creates my cursed future

走って転んで 消えない痛み抱いては(hashitte koronde, kienai itami daite wa) = run and slip, with embracing the pain that doesn't leave me

→ i’ll keep running though sometimes i slipped, along with embracing the pain that doesn't leave me.

世界が待ってる この一瞬を(sekai ga matteru, kono isshun wo) = the world is waiting for this moment

a) a proverb :

虚心坦懐 (kyoshin-tankai) = literally : empty// void; heart// mind// spirit; level// wide; pocket; heart

↳ the feeling "calm" or "relaxed" / the generosity without any prejudice/ with an open and calm mind, with no preconceived notions, without reserve, frank, candid

↳ 虚心 = a lack of prejudice/ preconception; 坦懐 = inner peace

↳"虚心坦懐 (が) 命 (を) 宿す" = "the feeling calm was gifted a life/ a new life springs." would be the meaning. it may describe the origin of the cursed spirits that may come from humans’ defilements / klesas or fear of natural disaster

a) 6 buddhist terms :

1) 有象無象 (uzo-muzo)

↳ literally : exist-shape-nothing-shape

it can be the mob/ masses. it’s a combination of the buddhist phrase : all things; things with physical forms and things without physical forms; material/ immaterial , visible/ invisible to denote the entirety of existence. by extension, “a large number of unexceptional people; the unwashed masses”; a term used to belittle mob behavior or “the common folk.” it’s probs humans from the cursed spirits’ perspective/  jogo’s “true humans” talk

2) 大乗 (daijo) = "the great vehicle" this word came from, "大乗仏教 (daijo-bukkyo)" = mahayana sect/ doctrine. mahayana emphasizes altruistic practice—called the bodhisattva practice—as a means to attain enlightenment for oneself and help others attain it as well [aka gojo who attained “enlightment” but stays in the figurative endless cycle of life and death, the college]

3) 怨親平等 (onshin byo do) = the attitude to treat friend and foe equally/ one’s foe and friend is equal/ hate and affection is equal

↳ the word byodo is connected with (平等王 byodo-o) = king impartial judge/ 10 kings (judges) of the underworld [this one is based from chinese taoism] and one of them is yama (sukuna’s mudra) who judges the dead on the 35th day    [3]

4 無常気 (mujo ki) = the heart that feels everything is fragile/ impermanence of the world, usually changing easily (it came from a chinese translation of a buddist scripture)

↳ 無常 = impermanence (nature of life)

↳ 気 = mind

5 数珠 (jyuzu) = the item to count the times of chanting the sutras, which form is the same to the bracelet strung with beads. the number of beads of the bracelet is 108 which signifies klesas/ curses + 4 smaller beads signifying the great 4 bodhisattvas, and the usage is similar to a rosary.

6 極楽往生 (gokuraku oujo) : "極楽" & "往生," has its own meaning each:

↳ 極楽: perfect bliss; the pure land of amitabha’s buddha (in buddhism pure land sect/ doctrine)

↳ 往生: death; dying a happy death.

↳ it’d be easier if we make "極楽往生" ⇾ "being born in the pure land after life/ rebirth in paradise (the word is a reference to the pure land section doctrine of amitabha buddha’s paradise/ pure land)

personally, i’ll go with “a peaceful death/ getting a rest in peace” (bc of the promise of reciting amitabha’s name would be born in the pure land, free from the samsaric cycle so they can focuse on attaining nirvana thing). the word “極楽往生” sort of reminds me of yuuji’s & his wish to give ppl a “just death” even though that his “just death” isn’t properly defined in the manga (yet), maybe....it stemmed from his grandfather’s seemingly “peaceful death” even though he wasn’t surrounded by ppl? (hahaha 😃🔫)

c) 3 puns :

↳ kanjo-sen : (環状戦[loop line/ transportation belt line]& 感情線 [emotion])

but the kanjo-sen used in the lyrics is "環状線", the sound might be a metaphor of it which means "loop line"

↳ so-zo: 創造 (creation)/ 想像 (imagination)

↳ warau: 嗤う ([to be] ridicule(d)/ laugh at) /  笑う (laugh)

d) double meaning phrases

1)五常 (gojo) = i’ll quote the wiki definition ⇾ confucianism or ruism, which is "the 5 moralities/ virtues (benevolence [仁 jin], justice & truth [義 gi], courtesy [礼 rei] , wisdom [智 chi], and trust/ faith [信 shin])” of what the mankind should keep," taught by confucius who is one of the philosophers of china.

"五常" also relates to buddhism : it’s the 5 precepts/ commandments ⇾ not to kill, not to steal, not to engage in sexual misconduct (the earliest scripts only said abt adultery), not to lie (including gossip), not to consume intoxicants (actually this one is still up for debate, whether u can drink or sth else but not till u lose ur inhibitions bc u have to keep ur mind clear and all or just completely abstain from it)

2)解く (toku) ⇾ a verb which means solve/ liberate (break free)/ disentangle

↳usually, in jpnese, ppl use "説く (teach with speech)" as a verb rather than "解く" for thoughts including "五常." the kanji must have been changed intentionally

↳ hence : rescue/ free gojo

btw, in this song there’s 3 variation of kanjis for the word loop/ circle, which might be the theme all along = 廻, 環, 数珠. and the lines incorporated in the song seem to be written to make them matched for the story continues + the song itself is a perfect loop if u take the beginning and ending of the mv where yuuji woke up from his sleep and fell asleep at the end

extra = if u noticed this sentence : どんな顔すればいいか わかってる

(don-na kaosureba iika, wakatteru) = how to express my feeling on my face is that, i know/ understand

だけど まだ応えてくれよ(dakedo mada, kotaete kureyo) = but answer me for a while longer

change into this :

どんな顔すればいいか わかんないよ (donna kao sureba iika wakan-naiyo) = how to express my feeling on my face? i don’t know/ understand

今はただ応えてくれよ(imawa tada kotaete kureyo) = but just answer me for now

→ I don't know how I should express my feeling, but answer me just now.

the transition of hope to despair/ hopeless?

and "凪いで" (naide) might just rhyming with "投げ出さないで" (nagedasanaide.)

i was genuinely surprised that those anime songs (op-ed) lyric channel translated this 1-3 weeks after when usually they get others out within 3-5 days, but when i see the kanjis.....understandable 😁 (bc if u give me this without any romaji i’ll probably just try until eventually i give up)

PSA AGAIN : i’m not gonna say this is the “right” translation bc i still have a long way to go with the language and this “translation” came from someone who learned jpnese just bc i got tired of switching back and forth between google translate and fanart/ fics, i have no idea what it said and it just looked interesting 😭 - 🐱

i forgot to give the links 🧍

the jpnese websites : a, b, c

eng : a

and the others are from utube just search “kaikai kitan lyrics” - 🐱

ok after you sent me this last night i totally didn’t cry myself to sleep listening to the song

what is the POINT in alluding to the suffering of the shibuya arc when anime only watchers are not going to have any idea of pain that awaits them i....they’re sadists....😭😁😭

[lilikags]

Hehe... if you do get into it... do tell me the songs & art are great. I have a lot to say on lore as well:

The lore is the most interesting and complex thing ever, like if anyone thought genshin had a lot (has a good amt tho I gotta say) of story content, enst has 7 years worth of story content

Here is my latest reminder that official TLS are SO BAD (not even kidding)- they've taken part of our morally grey characters out (ahem the twins ahem oop), made infamous grammar and word mistakes, and straight up mischaracterizes some of the characters (no this (I now understand how twst players felt upon seeing the eng release of their game I am so sorry to them) (there are posts on it can link them later)

The story in the actual eng game does not start at the beginning- ALKALOID and CRAZY:B are very specific kinds of main characters, and there are references to prev stories even before. You're missing like 5 yrs worth of stories when u play the game

There is an anime but it doesn't include some of the important stuff so I really suggest using the wayback machine on the eng wiki to read fan tls (way better)!! I can link u some stuff if u need just on mobile rn

Anyways I'm tired thats my thing it's 10 30 am LMAO

People: writing for heizou now

Me: damn. I wrote for him back in January. Good days

(Not that I don't like him now but I'm taking a huge genshin break for enstars)

omg yes i remember !!!! hahahhaha

it’s totally understandable yknow~ im not yet addicted to enstars now hut i may very well be if i play it over and over 🤭