#<- prev tags that is absolutely true

[potterhead0taku]

Why are we so keen to see our favorites suffer????

woah this character is so cool i wish they were covered in blood their whole body trembling with a look of absolute horror on their face as theyre struggling to breathe in panic

[kquil]

POLY MARAUDERS | HEROES IN TATTOOS PRT.8

08 : TONIGHT

CHPT. SUM. : you finally get to call them yours and they finally get to call you theirs and it's amazing! but something's missing...and it absolutely has something to do with the ache between your legs! 

LENGTH : 6.1k

TAGS. : very suggestive chapter ; boys and reader being horny for each other ; but do we blame them? no. we. don't! ; james being a pest ; sirius being a hot biker ; remus being a gentleman ; reader being a brat ; remus not being a gentleman anymore ; prologue to nsfw chapter

← PREV. : 07 | APOLOGIES & COMFORT | SERIES M.LIST

You don’t know what you expected when the boys slowly began integrating you into their already-established relationship. In the beginning, you were worried about feeling like an outsider. From what they’ve shared with you, the boys have been best friends since their secondary school years, meaning that their history with each other was deeply rooted and you were intimidated, to say the least. You’re just a simple girl they helped protect from a creep a year or so ago. You couldn’t possibly stack up to the type of love they have with each other.

This was a reasonable insecurity to have, the boys understood that and were always there to reassure you of its negligible influence. And when their words weren’t enough, they happily showered you in affection, from loving kisses to warm embraces. They flirted shamelessly, left lingering touches scorched along your exposed skin and pulled you into kisses that ranged from feather-light to deeply passionate, they were eager to kiss and squeeze that vulnerability away until it no longer remained in your beautiful eyes. And you appreciate them so much for their efforts.

Not a second goes by when you don’t feel loved by them, or underappreciated. The love you reciprocated, although much softer and, somewhat, apprehensive, always made them melt into your arms. It was quite the trial considering how much bigger these men were compared to you. But you didn’t mind. Their warmth and weight against you only reinforced the realness of the situation, your situation, your relationship.

This was a dream come true – the best-case scenario for the mounting love you were amassing for each of the three tattooed and pierced men working at the parlour. If you told yourself this would be the outcome months ago, you wouldn’t have believed your ears.

“You’ve got that starry look in your eyes again, dollface,” Sirius chuckles as he presses a loving kiss to your fluttering eyelids, “what are you thinking? Hmmm?” The tattooist currently had you in his lap, disregarding the clock face on the wall. He was supposed to be preparing for a client who would be arriving soon but, instead of being a responsible tattooist, he had himself preoccupied with you.

“Sirius, you’ve got a client coming soon,” you pout, appearing more stressed over his appointment than he is.

As dramatic as always, Sirius put on a big show of missing you, his arms flailing about with his voice fluctuating in his theatrics, “But I’m feeling very deficient in vitamin ‘you’, sweetheart! I need to get my necessary second dose,” you roll your eyes at his playfulness and quietly argue about how this wasn’t his second dose.

“Rather, it’s been your fourth or fifth dose already,” giggling, you endeavour to kiss his pout away before trying to leave so he could have the time to prepare for his appointment while you caught up on your university assignments. Next thing you know, he has you nestled into his lap with your coursework papers set aside and your laptop closed shut. All your attention needed to be on him; he wanted it all.

“We have eight minutes,” he wagered deviously.

You’ve come to find out that Sirius was pretty spoiled when it came to affection. The distinction becomes even more apparent when you compare him to Remus and James. Thankfully, that translated into Sirius happily initiating affection as much as he pleads for it. He’s just this handsome, broad man with the most beautiful grin and the prettiest grey eyes separated by his perfect nose – he’s irresistible, really. And you know that he knows it too; all he has to do is pull those puppy-dog eyes and he gets anything and everything he wants. It’s almost frustrating how he wins your favour each time but you never regret giving into him.

No. Never for Sirius.

…Or Remus. Or James. God, you love these men so damn much!

“Doll?” he tilts his head adorably, a habit he’s picked up from the personified golden retriever himself – James.

“It’s nothing,” you hum, combing your fingers through his hair and pressing a kiss to his slightly scratchy jaw. His stubble was growing out ever so slightly and began to cast a light shadow across the lower half of his handsome face.

“Can’t be nothing,” he protests, delivering a loving nuzzle into the crown of your hair, “are you falling for me?~ Tell me the truth, beautiful girl,” he’s as playful as ever, an expert in heating up your cheeks for his own entertainment, “I know you’re shy but you’re also very honest, hmm?” you don’t respond and keep your focus trained on the rose tattoo creeping up his neck, with its expertly shaded thorns and petals. “I might just give you a reward if you’re honest with me,”

With a small smile, you peek up at him from beneath your lashes. The shadows they cast over your vision distract from the obvious pink hue exploding across his cheeks as soon as he catches your gaze, god! Could you get any more beautiful? You need to stop looking at him like that but also, please keep looking at him and never look away again! “I’ve already fallen for you, Sirius Black,”

Sirius’ jaw goes slack as his playful demeanour collapses under you. The prettiest smile he’s ever seen stretches across your plump lips, so kissable and laced with a shy playfulness he’s fallen in love with.

You drive him absolutely mad…

… and he loves it!

James adores scooping you up into his arms. Not only is your resounding squeal the most adorable thing he’s ever heard but he just cherishes the feel of you tucked up in his embrace. For the first time, he fully understands the expression of describing one’s significant other as their whole world. Because when he has you giggling in his arms, clinging to his neck and nuzzling your face into the space under his jaw, James feels as though he’s got the entire world in his arms – he can accomplish anything and everything he sets his mind to. With you in his arms, he’s invincible; there’s a power that surges through him, a little like adrenaline but not quite so. It’s more powerful. He doesn't know what it is or how exactly to articulate its distinctions but he feels its fullness and capabilities like no other. He is the ruler of an empire, a conqueror with his perfect queen ruling beside him.

He is the leading character of a poignant Shakespearean play with you as his equally established partner. He is one half of a star and you are the other. Each is a ridiculous example but each also feels so fitting.

Of course… Only you could have ignited such an unfounded emotion within him.

“You feel it too, right Moony?” James whispers whilst he and the tall body piercer observe your happy movements gracefully puttering about their upstairs office, organising stacks of paperwork for them.

“Love?” Remus asks. It should be the obvious answer – you’re the protagonist of their conversation after all – but astute to James’ unique expressions for the natural and mundane, the brunette knows it’s going to be one of those times when James strongly feels a certain way and finds it hard to put into words. It makes Remus smile knowing that it’s about you – it’s surely something he can sympathise with James on.

“I guess but… it's different, somehow,” he doesn’t quite know how to articulate it, he just feels it. In his chest, in his fingertips, in his throat, in his stomach, even in his toes – he feels it everywhere. How could he not? Just looking at you, James can already justify that what he was feeling was perfectly admissible, whether he could put it into words or not. What he feels is true, it’s real and it gets stronger (almost achingly so) whenever he looks at you. The apple of his eye… never had an expression fit so well.

“I understand,” Remus voices after a deep, rumbling hum. His gaze soon turns to the tattoo artist beside him, fond eyes softening and stepping much closer to him, “I feel it too — for her and you, and Sirius,”

“That’s a given,” James grins boyishly up at his best friend and precious lover before he’s pulled into a loving kiss.

Tucking your chin a little over your shoulder, you glimpse the inviting image of your two lovers locking lips. It was heartening to see that their love for one another hadn’t changed because of your recent entanglement with them too. There was always a little corner of worry in your heart for potentially breaking their bond due to your interference.

The last time you let that same emotion control you, the aftereffects were explosive and unnecessarily wounding to all parties so you keep the emotion in check often, the boys too. But there was no complete dismissal of it. As much as you adore the boys and their love for you, you also adore their love for each other. It was incredibly inspiring to see what they had built together. Their parlour, their love, their quaint, shared flat.

But now, you also had the privilege of seeing them share more intimate acts of love and it was leading to a bad habit, a bad staring habit. So much so that you didn’t notice the two breaking away from each other until their devious smirks were solely directed at you.

“Care to join us, my dear?” Remus calls his voice like a hypnotising whisper, pulling invisible strings to shift your feet forward and lure you in. In no time at all, you’re close enough for the two to lock you between their strong, tattooed arms and finally launch their attack. You’re not complaining.

You’re so grateful to be able to join in their love and be with them like this. And you’re curious about what the four of you would end up building together one day. Rather than a small flat, maybe a house? A family? With kids? Fur-babies? A cat or dog? Maybe both? Regardless, one promise was absolutely certain: a happy life that’s bursting at the seams with love – it was a very compelling thought.

Finally winding down for the night, you separate from the boys and remain tucked away in their neatly prepared spare bedroom. James and Sirius were proud to announce that they had tidied the place up for you; Remus would have contributed as well if it weren’t for him being the main man who handled the paperwork for the parlour.

You thanked the two for their thoughtfulness with a kiss but also kissed Remus for his hard work in ‘keeping their business alive’. It was a cheeky remark but one that got an adorable pout from James and Sirius along with a well-humoured laugh from the tall brunette himself. There was a love in his eyes that made you weak in the knees, his chocolate pools staring down at you, threatening to drown you in their warmth, his fingers ghosting the skin of your chin and ever so gently tilting your face to admire your features better. He moved as if he were propping up a delicate art piece, not wanting to press too harshly but enough to warrant a sensitive and lingering touch.

“You spoil us,” he utters as a heat blooms across your cheeks and a small peep pushes past your lips. Mistaking your incoherent squeak for verbal thought, Remus bends down at the waist with curious and furrowed brows, “What was that, my dear?” James and Sirius lightly snicker to themselves from the interaction. You would have scolded them for their childish behaviour if Remus didn’t have you melting into a puddle from doing absolutely nothing!

“I-It’s nothing, Rem,” thankfully, he didn’t need much convincing. Having him that close was intimidating – you just can’t believe that this beautiful, soft-spoken, loving and gentle giant of a man is yours.

The boys had allowed you to use the bathroom first and followed after you for their night routine. From where you sat at the vanity, you often catch yourself smiling and sometimes even giggling when you hear their antics echoing through the hallway. It was all very amusing and you had to bite your lip when thoughts of normalising this scenario into a nightly routine materialised in your head. It was still early on in your otherwise unconventional relationship and you didn’t want to risk anything. An eagerness for more was healthy but over-eagerness wouldn’t be worth potentially commencing an accelerated rate of negative interactions.

Going through your nightly skincare, you hum a soft tune to yourself. It felt like you were at your own flat, getting ready for bed as if it was any other night and the familiarity was surprising. You didn’t feel out of place at all despite the new environment. Although, you wouldn't expect anything less from your boys. They really knew how to make you feel welcome. At least you know that you’ll be sleeping restfully tonight.

“Almost ready for bed, Angel?” James’ sudden appearance in the doorway makes you tense before playfully pouting at him, especially when he has the gall to giggle at your startled reaction, “Awww~ don’t be like that, love~” he coos, walking up to stand behind your seated form. He, too, bends at the waist to kiss behind your ear and trail loving pecks down your neck to the slopes of your shoulder.

“My night routine is meant to be relaxing, Jamie,” you huff but he can hear the smile in your voice and looks up with his beautiful eyes, meeting your gaze in the vanity mirror. Slowly, he pulls his lips away from your exposed shoulder.

With a devilish smirk, he brings his lips to your ear and whispers, “I can help you with that…” You feel his feathery touch tracing the curves of your waist, coming up from your hips, “Relaxing, I mean~”

“James!”

He throws his head back with a laugh that makes his shoulders shake and his pretty curls bounce ever so slightly. He’s risen to his full height now and resists the urge to caress the skin of your cheek, respectful of your freshly applied skincare — he’s had to put up with Sirius’ grumbles and whines after mistakenly kissing his still dewy, moisturised cheek on previous nights. And James wouldn’t want to ruin your first night here like that. He’s no amateur. Instead, James concedes to caressing your hair and placing a loving kiss onto your crown. He loves the combined smell of your hair products and natural scent. It’s solely you; a fragrance that could never be contained in a bottle, which is, both, a pity and a relief. A pity that he can’t carry a small bottle around whenever he’s missing you horribly bad. But a relief that something so intimate about you couldn’t be shared beyond him, Sirius and Remus. James would rather set the world ablaze before that ever came to fruition.

“Alright, my love, I’ll leave you be…” you begin to sigh in relief until, “-for now~”

“James!” you giggle sweetly, and he joins you not too long after, “You’re such a pest!”

He cackles adorably as he walks back to the door, making his exit swift and injury-free – he, just barely, evades your swatting hands. The two of you gradually allow your shared merriment to fade into a comfortable silence. You return to completing your skincare routine while James remains at the doorway.

From afar, the tattooist quietly admires your figure, elegant and so… so girly as you go through your nightly regime. It wasn’t a bad thing seeing your femininity shine through was refreshing. Sure, Sirius partook in the same self-care religiously, at the start of every day and the beginning of every night but you, with your cosy pyjamas, fuzzy slippers, panda ears headband and prettily laid out products, have James bewitched; entranced in the most blissful way. He likes seeing and observing you like this. So comfortable that there isn’t a single change in your routine; so comfortable that you’re humming to yourself; so comfortable that you look like you belong here. Truthfully, he’s wanted to ask you to move in for quite some time now but understands the importance of going at a steady pace and one that everyone agrees on.

You all finally have each other to call your own, that’s what truly mattered at the end of the day. So he holds himself back.

The routine you have is quite thorough so you’re not one to exclude your neck area or chest. As you adjust your clothes to prep your neck and chest area, James glimpses more and more of your skin each time. Naturally, his cheeks colour a soft pink while his thoughts are gradually consumed by all the things he wants to do to you — bending you over every piece of furniture in the flat, not discounting the walls or the carpeted floor, even atop and inside his beloved car. Every hot and crude detail is uncensored, the images that flash in his head are dangerously explicit and encompass you wholely. Your pleasure is his top priority. He’ll have you moaning in his ear, panting for breath as he goes faster, harder, whatever you want, as long as you keep singing for him. Singing until you’re screaming and reaching your peak over and over and over—

“The door locks, y’know,” James mentions casually, not surprising you as much this time. Although his random comment does make you raise a brow.

“Oh?” you apply your berry-flavoured lip mask and smile at him through the mirror with a hint of curiosity, “Okay, thank you for telling me, Jamie,” it still wasn’t clear to you what he was trying to get at with his casual but warning remark.

“Are you going to lock it for the night?” his question makes you stop for a moment, what was he trying to say? “I think you should lock it, angel… you don’t want any surprise visitors — it’s hard resisting you this long,” he had a teasing smile on his lips but there was a dark look in his eyes that made you shudder. That’s what he meant…

“A-alright,”

He pauses, appearing to contemplate something as he leans forward but ultimately decides against his earlier intentions and straightens his posture accordingly, “that’s my good girl,” you watch his sly smirk disappear from the vanity mirror. It takes you a few moments longer to return to your skincare routine.

Sirius smirks at you with an amused glint in his eye, “do you want to sit on it?” he asks, his big hand gently patting the seat of his bike. Being able to see right through you and read your inner thoughts was one of Sirius’ many talents. It amazed you but also made your cheeks flush in embarrassment. Were you really that transparent and readable? To Sirius, you were, but that’s only because he’s grown to have a keen eye for you and your little quirks; he finds them adorable and adores being able to read your thoughts, so that he knows he’s catering to you well.

Your hesitation is obvious. It’s not like you haven’t ridden on his motorbike before; you’ve ridden on it plenty of times. However, it was usually with you seated behind Sirius. For a while, you contemplated whether or not it would feel different to be the actual biker. You didn’t know how to ride a motorbike so you were secretly hoping that Sirius would allow you to hop on after he did his routine motorbike maintenance. It was common to do these checks and services every 6 months, but because Sirius used his motorbike so often, he tracked the regular services based on the miles he covered. He’s already crossed 4000 miles so his bike was due for some maintenance already.

“Are you sure?” you ask in a voice that’s so soft and sweet, Sirius can’t help but temper his smirk into a warm smile.

“It’s safe, sweetheart, and I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t okay with it,” the bright grin you gifted him made Sirius question why he hadn’t thought to make such an offer sooner. It was clear that you were interested in his bike but he didn’t know whether or not he was deciphering your intentions correctly, until now. With a skip in your step, you make your way over as Sirius chuckles to himself.

You’re just too cute~

“Thank you, Siri,” you reach up to cup his jaw and gently guide him down to press a loving kiss against his cheek.

“Anything for you, Doll,” he kisses your cheek as well, just before you get the chance to pull too far away from him. Sirius then guides you onto his motorbike, offering to stabilise you with his hands on your hips as you get settled on the seat. With his strength alone, he takes the bike off his kickstand and straightens it from the back so that you can experience what it’s really like without the bike being slanted to the side. The tattooist is much taller than you and so you aren’t able to fully flatfoot your feet, instead your toes barely brush the ground. Seeing that you’re able to just swing your feet back and forth, a quiet giggle escapes you – music to Sirius’ ears.

“This is fun!” you cheer softly, still quite shy as you glance over your shoulder with a flutter of your lashes, meeting eyes with the inked-up biker, who was grinning brightly at you. His strong arms are on full display, tattoos and all, as he holds the bike straight and steady from behind. He’s dressed in a simple black tank top and loose grey joggers. It’s a style that James often wears around their flat but you’re not surprised that Sirius was able to pull off the look too. With a face like his, you can easily determine that he’d suit any style he tries on.

“Why don’t you try pretending you’re actually riding it by grabbing onto the handles,” he encourages, excited. Having James, Remus and you as his loves were heaven on earth, but being able to share one of his favourite hobbies and his beloved motorbike fostered a different kind of haven in his heart. It’s overflowing and shows easily in his voice.

“Okay!” eagerly, you lean forward to grasp onto the handles and, with a feverish buzz, pretend you’re actually riding the bike out on the road. From backpacking behind Sirius so often, imagining the shift in positions and being the actual biker was quite easy. What a thrill! No wonder Sirius makes up any excuse to be out on his bike.

Yes, you’re still stationary but it’s just too easy to imagine everything, from the wind in your hair to the adrenaline pumping through your veins, encouraged by the rapidly passing views on either side of you. A view of the seaside at sunset is very appealing but winding country roads also offer great scenery. You can hear your heartbeat rising to match your vision and you have to bite your lip to contain an elated laugh. There’s no need to embarrass yourself even more, especially with Sirius behind you.

So stuck in your pretending, you miss Sirius’ partially restrained groan of frustration from behind your leant-over figure, “Fuck. Me…” he has the perfect view of your ass. And when you’re bent over his bike like this, his joggers tighten up around his crotch alarmingly fast. Never mind that the joggers were already very loose-fitting, he can’t help himself when you’re offering him such a spectacular view. And to have it be on top of his motorbike too…

The things you do to him… the things he would do to you.

Suppressing another groan, Sirius hurries to free his kickstand and lean his bike over before you realise what’s happening. It takes a lot of strength and agility but his focus has narrowly concentrated on you and nothing was going to get in his way. He has to resist going all the way – for now – but that doesn’t mean resigning himself to zero contact at all.

“Siri–?!” you squeal in surprise when he lifts you off his bike and positions you in a way that forces your legs to wrap around his hips from fear of falling, while his arms circle your hips, “what’s this all about?” you give an adorable tilt of your head as you look down at him, perched a little higher on his torso so that your hands could place themselves on his sturdy shoulders while his arm provides a sort of seat for you underneath.

“I’ll show you what this is about,” his voice is several octaves lower, barely recognisable from where they resonate at the far back of his throat. His big hands grab the globes of your ass and lower you down from your upper perch so that he grinds your covered pussy lips against his erect cock. Even through the fabric of his joggers, the sheer size of him is obvious and it’s mortifying how wet you get. He keeps you pressed against him as he swallows your shocked gasp, prying your lips apart with his tongue so he can explore your sweet mouth.

“...you can’t be showing your perfect ass like that – so pretty on top of my bike – without facing the consequences, dollface,”

“But!” you manage to protest between his eager lips, “but you said–!”

“I know what I said,” he bites at your lower lips and grinds against you, “I guess we’re both at fault that I’m like this right now, huh, baby?” he pulls away to suck and nibble on your neck, loving the moans he draws from you, “Nothing a little loving can’t fix, right?”

He won’t go too far… just a little grinding here and there while he devours your pretty little mouth. That’s all he’s asking for. And, being the lovely, kind princess that you are, of course, you oblige him.

“A-alright…” you conceded, finally trying to match his level of eagerness when his lips connected with yours once more.

“That’s my girl~”

The initial week everything came to a head, where all was revealed and you ended up spending the night at the boys’ flat, only for disaster to hit in the form of your period the next day was weeks behind you now. You're surprised that a week after that – when you had finally gotten off your dreaded period – Remus didn’t pounce on you. Nor did James. Or Sirius. Now an entire month has passed and still nothing. James and Sirius have been more impassioned than Remus but it appears as though they’re more united than ever on the simple fact of ‘going easy’ on you.

The tall brunette insinuated such provocative things that night. Thinking back to that moment makes butterflies explode in your stomach, all while a ravenous heat spreads chaotically throughout your body. That same heat then stubbornly settles between your legs and in your lower belly. You’re ashamed to admit that you were really looking forward to what Remus planned on doing to you…

But now he’s being the perfect gentleman again and you don’t know what to do!

You love how gentlemanly he is, kissing you sweetly on the cheek, whispering loving, poetic words only for you to hear, listening to anything and everything you wanted to say with the utmost attention and interest, pulling doors open for you, doing little favours that made your days go by smoother and so much more. It felt incredibly unreasonable to complain when there was nothing to complain about! Though… were you really complaining? If you think about it, all you would be doing is expressing your opinion and providing some constructive criticism for what you want out of the relationship – there’s nothing wrong with that, is there?

When you officially became theirs and them, yours, it was established and emphasised heavily by Remus, himself, that communication was key to having a successful and loving relationship. If something was wrong, you could go to them without any hesitation; they promised to never disregard your worries or dismiss them apathetically. And you made the same promise to them, in return. If they were ever feeling insecure about something in the relationship then they could communicate any concerns they have to you without feeling an ounce of fear. By verbalising your, somewhat, embarrassing internal torment, you’d be keeping your promise and prioritising communication — just like you all promised each other!

So you have nothing to worry about…

It’s just a little hard to verbalise that’s all…

…maybe you should wait until after dinner tonight? Remus looks a little busy right now…

“Don’t look at me with those eyes, pretty girl,” Remus’ low, bordering seductive, voice tenses your nerves, pulling a lazy chuckle from the back of his throat at the adorable sight of your surprise, “you’re distracting me,” he emphasises his statement with the tap of his pen onto the papers laid out before him. Despite his comment, however, he doesn’t sound angry and he’s not frowning either. Instead, Remus has his chin in the palm of his hand and tilts his head at you, smiling fondly at your visage.

“You look like you don’t mind it,” you shot back, voice shy but quippy, parallel to the defiant folding of your arms.

Remus throws his head back with a laugh before shaking his head at you. His smile widens and he bites his lower lip to force it down just a little bit. As you put on a playful pout, your earlier thoughts slipping from your mind, the tattooed body piercer rolls over to you on his wheeled office chair.

Reaching you in a few long strides, knee to knee, he disregards your sassy comment and simply asks, “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

A heat crawls up your neck and settles on the apples of your cheeks as your earlier contemplations return. It’s a little hard to muster up your courage to speak right now. And, conveniently, the carpeted floors look very interesting all of a sudden.

“I-It was nothing,” you unfold your arms and fidget with the hem of your pleated skirt; your gaze still fixed onto the office’s dark grey carpet.

He quirks a brow but doesn’t say anything despite the question evident in his chocolate-brown eyes. His gaze holds onto your own, the small smile on his lips calming your earlier taut nerves. In your peripheral, Remus slides his fingertips over the skin of your thighs, his movement careful and feathery until he hears you suck in a sharp breath. As soon as your eyes widen, shocked by his unexpected touch and you release a sharp gasp, Remus throws all care out the window. He proceeds to slide his grip under your thighs and, hoists you up and over to sit on his lap. Thankfully his office chair doesn’t have any armrests so he’s able to comfortably seat you there, pretty as can be.

“You’re sure you can’t tell me?” he asks in a murmur, muffled by the skin of your temple as he presses a soft kiss there.

“It’s really nothing!” you squeak, avoiding his eyes and missing his fond smile as he watches you fumbling with your hands. He keeps you perfectly seated on his lap from where he firmly grips your outer thighs. Your skin is so soft and smooth with the perfect amount of fluff, to fill it in – he loves all of you but if he had to choose, he’d say your thighs were his favourite feature.

“You can be honest with me,” you don’t answer, tucking your flustered face into the crook of his neck instead. Fondly, he begins to caress the back of your head with one hand, the other still on your thigh. He lowers his voice into a quiet murmur so only you can hear, “Why don’t you whisper it to me instead?”

Funnily enough, his suggestion, no matter how simple, was convincing. It was meant for his ears only and you didn’t want to risk anyone else hearing your inner thoughts out loud. Also, the idea of whispering your carnal contemplations felt… safer somehow. Intimate too but you ran with it, your thoughts begging to be released.

Leaning up, you place one hand on his broad chest, the other on his shoulder so as to position your lips beside his ear with enough stability, “I was just thinking about…umm,”

“Hmm?...” you feel his thumbs caressing the skin of your thighs — a comforting gesture that you feel embarrassed for being unsuited to your pending admission.

“About you…”

Something flashes in his eyes, “...What about me, my love?” he hopes to god he hasn’t upset you.

You pause to muster up enough courage, “...about what you said you would do to me that night…” Hopefully, he knows what you’re referring to because you don’t think you’ll be able to articulate his exact words or the entire situation properly. You’re already far too sheepish.

Holding your breath, you wait for some sort of reaction, maybe a spoken word? Something… But Remus’ lips are sealed shut and there’s only silence. Your heart hammers in your ears as you slowly pull away from the safety of your lover’s neck and peek up to gauge his reaction, only to find that his face shows no emotion at all. You’re tempted to whisper his name, a soft prompt and an indirect request for some sort of answer when he’s suddenly pulling you into a deep kiss. One hand cups your jaw as the other explores your curves. His movement and the feeling he imbues in the kiss – all of it points to an impatience and a vicious need, the need to have you in every way possible.

Remus explores the lines of your shape but makes a small sound of displeasure when his hands are unable to sneak up the AC/DC graphic shirt you stole from Sirius as it’s tucked into your pleated skirt. Quickly, he moves his large hands back to your exposed thighs. You hold your breath as you feel his warm touch move up your warm skin, far enough to sneak past the hem of your pleated skirt.

“Please…” Remus relishes in the moan that parts your delicious, bruised lips, “I can take it! Please please please,” you gasp and pant, your shaking voice emphasising your desperation for more. You’ve waited so long, you’ve been so patient, you’re ready for this! The feel of his lips against your skin is addictive but your addiction is insatiable from that alone and you beg for more.

“Are you sure about that?” Remus’ lips make it to the shell of your ear, where his husky voice whispers as he grabs at your ass. With his hands full of you, he pulls you in to grind his bulging hardness against your puffy, lower lips and dampening panties. He relishes in the moans that you can’t contain behind trembling, kiss-bitten lips and smirks when he hears the click of the office door opening.

“She’s ready for us then?” James asks, the smirk on his lips obvious through the smug tone of his voice.

“It’s about damn time,”

Remus smiles as you tuck your flustered face into the crook of his neck and gives your ass a reassuring squeeze beneath your skirt, “Tonight, sweetheart,”

You pout at his remark and pull away with a huff, “No!” you protest defiantly, “Now!” You’re tired of waiting! And what’s the use of their upstairs, private office space if you can’t do private things in it?

“Don’t be a brat, dove,” Remus warns, the usual warmth leaving his eyes as Sirius and James step into the room and close the door behind them but don’t step an inch closer.

“But I’ve waited so long, please Rem, I promise I can take it—” you squeal loudly when a harsh slap hits your ass. So caught up in your needs, you completely missed how Remus used one hand to lift your skirt while his other prepared to deliver penance.

“Rem–!” ignoring your whining, he sits down to bend you over his lap and continues beating your ass despite your shrieks of pain. It wasn’t until you were a whimpering tearful mess that Remus finally relented, his big hand returning to their gentle touches as he comfortingly palms your sore ass. He’s sorry. But you were being a brat.

“Brats don’t deserve to get what they want, even if they say please, do I make myself clear?”

Unable to vocalise properly through your tears and pitiful whimpers, you simply nod your head but squealed when Remus cupped your tender asscheek and gave it a firm squeeze of displeasure, “Y-yes sir,”

“Good girl,” Remus hums softly,

NAVI. | SERIES M.LIST | NEXT : 09 | THE NIGHT... →

A/N : next chapter will be where everything goes down my loves! i hope you're prepared and i'm sorry for making you all wait this long; what can i say? i love a good slow burn smut hehe~

again, i'd like to remind everyone that i have discontinued all my taglists but made a side account for you to follow so you can be notified whenever i post something new, just turn on notifications @thekqipond

please like, comment and reblog to show your support, i'd really appreciate it! property of kquil ; all written content is mine and no one else's unless stated otherwise ; do not steal, plagiarise, modify or translate to other sites

[ivysprophecy]

please please please

word count; 1644

summary; turning off your phone and shutting out the world isnt the best way to handle your problems but its what you do. and jjs had enough of it.

warnings; i dont think there is any? mentions of anxiety attacks? tagging @murdockcastleslut @kimoralov3 @arkofblake

masterlist

prev. | next

divider by @bernardsbendystraws

"well hey there stranger"

i turn from my book to look behind me, seeing the boy id been actively avoiding for the past two days. carrying his surf board.

i shouldve remembered he'd come here to surf. i just wouldn't have guessed this early in the morning.

"hey jayj."

"oh thats all i get? 'hey'? no 'i miss you so much'?" he sets his board in the sand taking a seat next to me on my blanket.

guess im not finishing my book today. "oh my god jj! youre here! ive been dyingggg to talk to you! i cant believe youre really in here in the flesh! there. better?"

"oh dont be like that- cmon mama whatd i do?" i feel bad with the genuine concern on his face.

okay was ghosting him out of nowhere awful of me? probably. i just didnt know what else to do.

after that night at the bonfire i realized that with my feelings for him growing it wasnt a good idea for us to continue our casual... something. it played with both our emotions. it isnt fair to either of us.

especially after his 'i love you'. that really did it in for me.

"you didnt do anything jj. trust. i just... ive been in a funk. needed some me time thats all."

"well... do you still need your 'me time'?" he looked so hopeful. how could i say yes? where jj maybank is concerned ill easily fold every time. "cause you havent answered my texts so i couldn't ask you to surf with me this morning."

"... i dont have my board. but i suppose i can hang out with you for a little while."

"im honored," he smiles laying back on his elbows, "but really. are you good? i like to think i know you pretty well and this whole MIA thing was not normal."

turning to face him more, i sigh, what the fuck am i supposed to say? 'yea im just so in love with you i cant be around you' yea that would go over really well.

"i dont know. just gotta lot of stuff goin on. you dont have to worry though. im good."

"well do ya wanna talk about it?"

"trust me jay you dont wanna hear about my problems. theyre trivial at best."

"what are friends for if not for listening?" he nudges me with his shoulder urging me to talk. i really dont think i can do this. i was not prepared.

"youre not a very good listener," i point out, to which he immediately takes faux offense. jaw dropped and everything.

"oh thats just not true! i can listen!"

i run a hand through my tangled hair in frustration. this cannot be how i tell him. it just cant. i came here to get away from thinking about this and now hes right here in front of me acting so unserious while im spiraling.

"jj i really appreciate how eager you are to help me but its really not necessary. i didnt really prepare myself and its just too much-"

"prepare yourself? mama what the fuck are you talking about? does this have to do with that night after the bonfire? i mean obviously it does who am i kidding you havent talked to me since then. did i do something wrong? was- was it bad?" he leans in closer, lowering his voice thats laced with worry and guilt.

oh my god that is the absolute last thing i expected him to say. shit i really fucked this up. and honestly just not true.

"what? no! no jj you didnt do anything wrong and it was perfect. promise," i try to reassure him but i know deep down hes gonna over think this whole thing if i dont tell him straight up

i may love him but i never said he was the brightest in the bunch.

"okay so whats the problem?"

"the problem is that it was perfect," i cant help but let out a sigh before hiding my face in my hands as the words leave my mouth.

god my heart is racing, im not ready for this conversation. maybe if i pass out i wont have to. yea if he has to call an ambulance then we can avoid this all together. but an ambulance is also like five grand so...

shit.

"... youre mad at me because you had a good time?" his face contorted in a weird fixture of confusion.

"no! no- god youre so dense sometimes!"

"mama i dont have a fucking clue what youre saying! how does that make me stupid??"

i hide my face in my hands again trying to compose myself because what the fuck kind of confession is this?

"jj im avoiding you because ive been developing feelings for you and i cannot in good conscience keep being so casual with you and sleeping with you knowing this and i know that you do not want anything serious so i figured id just make it easier for the both of us and just take myself out of the situation entirely so that nothing bad happens and i cannot stop fucking talking so please for the love of god say something or do something because i feel like my heart is about to beat out of my chest and-"

oh my god im getting my book moment. he just kissed me to make me stop talking!!! oh my god hes kissing me.

is this where i kiss him back?

of course i kiss him back!! what the fuck!!? and oh my lord does it feel nice, so so so nice.

the way his tongue presses against mine, the way he cups my jaw and pulls me close to him. it was slow and confident and loving and everything he knows i like. his hands find my hips like muscle memory, pulling our bodies together, eventually having me on his lap. where he takes my hands and places them on his chest so i can feel his chest rise and fall with deep breaths.

“… mama you need to learn to breathe.”

“that’s not funny right now jj. im actively having an anxiety attack, horrible thing to say really."

"what're you so anxious about? i think we're havin' a pretty calm conversation, dont you?"

"i mean yea- but thats not-" he interrupts me while shaking his head with a shrug.

"listen, i get why youre a little nervous to say that, all things considered. but i thought it was pretty obvious i was into you, i just didnt wanna push you because you made your boundaries clear so i just took what i could get."

my eyes bug out of my head in shock. am i the dense one? i mean yea hes a really good kisser and i can feel he cares deeply about me when we do stuff and makes me feel safe and supported but that doesnt mean-

yea im stupid. he all but outright said it. actually he has. thats what started this panic.

"... okay yea- maybe. but you agreed they were a good idea so i figured that meant you wanted them there too. and i dont know- it just kind of got overwhelming and i didnt wanna be one of those girls who expects something huge after sex so... you know what i mean? and truthfully youre not what i expected for me."

"what does that mean?" his face showed a little offense.

"i just mean- ya know. for one i didnt expect to love my best friend. and then on top of that i didnt think id love a guy who was a treasure hunting, or- adrenaline junkie i should say."

he leans back putting some space between us, "is that supposed to be a bad thing?

"no! no jay im not saying this right- i-... youre a fighter and youre adventurous- a lot of things im not. if that makes sense. all im sayin is a few years ago i wouldnt have expected to be here. but i like it here. love it here even," i smile at him teasingly trying to ease his worries. the last thing i need is to say the wrong thing right now.

"so what youre saying is that you love me?"

"youre such an idiot."

'but do ya? because i think you do mama."

i roll my eyes chuckling, "yea. yea i do maybank," i press a small kiss to his cheek leaning back into him.

"does this mean youll let me make you a maybank mama?" his eyebrow was quirked up as he teases his question.

"lets not get ahead of ourselves. how about we take this slow?"

he looks down at my button up shirt i was wearing over my bikini to shield me from the ocean breeze, and i could tell he was debating taking it off of me. giving me that same look he always does.

"slow? mama i dont think we're gonna be too good at that."

"all 'm sayin is we dont have to jump the gun, we both admitted it, doesnt mean we gotta change the way we act or announce it or nothing. we can just enjoy this ourselves ya know?"

"you embarrassed of me mama?"

"not at all baby, just want you all to myself. is that too much to ask for?"

he shakes his head leaning up against me, our faces inches apart, "nah i dont think so. i like the sound of that."

i meet him the rest of the way pressing his lips to mine, smiling into it. pulling him as close as humanly possible. i need him under mind skin, in my blood, you know?

"i do too, so we agree? we'll keep this between us for now?"

"whatever you want mama. yes maam."

[soap-ify]

mdni.

YOU'RE AN ANGEL, I'M A DOG | simon 'ghost' riley x reader

05 — i'll meet the judgement by the hounds.

chapter summary — a fool and a coward, that's the realisation you had come to.

tags / cw — no smut, fluff, a bit domestic honestly, basically reader's drunk and simon takes care of you, bittersweet, simon opens up... a bit, angst, suicidal thoughts, very subtle religious references if they even count as one, simon's in denial and reader is on the verge of losing it all. [4k words]

masterlist | ao3 | prev | next

Simon had come to the conclusion that you were a snake, and your love was your poison. Maybe he really was a coward for being afraid to let your venom drown into his veins.

“Remind me to never take you out for drinking again.”

If it weren’t for Simon holding you carefully against him and walking through the street, you’d surely have collapsed on the ground all drunk and worse, thrown up by now.

It was a little mistake. One drink became two, and then three. You had forgotten about your tolerance, and here you were now. It’s all because of Simon. That’s what your excuse was, blaming it all on him. Which was true in all honesty, you had gotten too excited about this little hangout.

“You’ll never go out with me again?” Completely mishearing his words, you looked up at him with wide eyes, tears already approaching. Yeah, you were completely drunk. Simon froze, his heart tearing at the sight of your incoming tears, even if they were just due to your emotions being all over the place now. Emotions that had always been there, hidden deep within.

His first instinct was to ignore your words and just keep walking, his heart begging for him to comfort you. But again, how does a killer comfort an angel? How would the moon comfort the ocean, while being so far away?

“I didn’t say that.” He gruffly replied and continued to look ahead, not daring to meet your eyes anymore.

O Angel, let me fall on my knees, kiss your fingers, and weep for forgiveness. So you may hold my absolution, and make me man again.

“C’mon, we gotta take you home.” Simon internally cursed himself for not taking you both to the bar in a car. He hadn’t considered the possibility of you being a drunk mess. Do I ever consider anything?

“No!” Your loud whine echoed in the empty pavement, and he could barely hold in a chuckle, deciding to bite his bottom lip beneath his mask. “Can’t we spend more time together, Si?”

I’d spend a lifetime with you. But god forbid he ever said those words. Not to you, not to anyone. “S’not like m’gonna die or somethin’, or that you’ll never see me again.” Simon grumbled and tightened his hand around your waist, accommodating your wobbly body, guiding you.

Simon wished he could take your hands and sway around with you, let both of you move into a sweet dance, with the stars praising you. A performance for the cosmos. He wished he could hold you when you throw yourself over him, to let you never escape his embrace. Lovers forever tangled.

He wished.

He wondered what something like that even would look like. His dad never danced with his mother. He remembers his mother looking at him, holding in her tears and forcing a smile. “I promise your dad loves me, just as much as I love him. He's just… exhausted nowadays.” He wished his mother didn’t consider him a naive — a child.

Simon doesn’t think he was ever a child. A child is innocent, his very first cry was a sin.

“Simon?” Your voice snapped him out of the reminiscence he was trapped in. He let out a soft grunt, urging you to continue.

“Have you… Have you ever seen a ghost?” You burst into laughter at your own poor attempt at the joke, a rapid change of emotion, though in your defence, it’s definitely very funny. Your free hand tried to wipe the tears as you continued laughing, and Simon swore that this was truly the angels’ hymn eliciting from your mouth.

“Do I count?” He grinned behind his mask, the side of his eyes crinkling a bit. You quickly shook your head and stared at him with determined eyes, fully set on your question. “In that case, no. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one, love. But if I do, I’ll make sure to tell ‘em you said hello.”

If it was someone else like Kyle or Johnny who would be laughing about this joke, Simon was sure that he would have said something snarky or just straight up ignored them. But not with you, never with you.

“You’re the best.” You beamed, his heart squeezed painfully.

“We’re almost there.”

Upon arriving at your apartment complex, he dropped you off outside your apartment’s front door, the only thing in mind being to flee quickly so your sweet smile doesn’t taunt him anymore. Though he simply couldn’t, your fingers not letting go off his forearm at all. Too exhausted to figure out if it was intentional or not, he sighed under his breath and turned over to face you, brown eyes having a slight shine in them due to the hallway’s light.

“C’mon, you gotta go in and rest.” He couldn’t figure out why his breathing was falling short. Was it the alcohol? He barely drank anything.

You, on the other hand, tried your best to not look up at him and meet his eyes, knowing that it would shut you up. Like the intimidating gaze of a god, a warrior. You had to speak your mind, had to know about something, to ease the storm in your head.

“Are you getting bored of me?” These words slipped out of your lips as a meek whisper, forbidden.

It was a sickening feeling that ensued within Simon after that, as if something was grabbing his heart and trying to rip it out of his chest. Inhale, exhale. He didn’t know what exactly horrified him. Probably the fact that he knew what had caused you to think like that. The perfume.

O Angel, let me carve my heart out with a knife and hand it to you as an offering — apology. So may your hands embrace it and take me home, with thee. So may your fingers caress my cheek once again, and let my blood paint my skin.

“No.” He was embarrassingly quick to reply, fingers curling up into fists by his sides as he inhaled sharply. How could he put such thoughts into your head? How could I? Only a devil, the most evil being, could commit such atrocity.

You paused at his words, not knowing what else to say. No? Then why was that perfume there? You didn’t want him to think you were dumb enough to not notice that. “You’re lying…” Your voice cracked, and it was no longer the alcohol playing you like a puppet. It was you now. You felt like your own marionette. Stop speaking, fucking stop. “I am not dumb, Si. I saw that p-perfume on your couch the other day. Is that why you got mad at me?” God, stop talking please. “You could have just… said that you prefer other girls. Am I… Am I making a fucking fool out of myself here?” It terrified you, your own emotions terrified you. Your voice was rising just a bit, and all your feelings had their hands wrapped around your throat. Controlling you. You didn’t want to speak, didn’t want to say it out loud. You weren’t used to being so open about your mind, and now you felt like nothing but a cat shivering under the rain — alone and abandoned. Vulnerable, naked.

Maybe you and Simon weren’t so different after all. Vulnerability — just why did it terrify humans? Were the angels and the gods just as opposed to vulnerability?

“Oh, l-” Love. It almost slipped off his tongue, and he didn’t know if you even wanted him to call you that right now. The thought alone made him shudder uncomfortably. He didn’t know what to do — stuck in between two roads. Should he lie? Or tell you the truth? — That it was just one time, a drunken act that is nothing but lamentable to him.

Why were you both even acting like an actual couple right now?

He swallowed the lump that threatened to torture his throat, exhaling softly. “I was drunk, and it happened. She probably left her perfume accidentally.” He spilled the truth out. Just the way a mature person would. Don’t be fucking daft, Riley. His eyes assessed the subtle twitch of your brows at that, your lips quivering. He wished he could just lean in and kiss all the tears away, despite them not having landed on your cheeks. Hopefully they won’t.

“Oh…” Your response was too short, unsure and reluctant. It made Simon feel as if he had sinned once again, chains threatening to drag him into the darkest depths of Hell. Home — the one he was familiar with.

You swallowed nervously and looked down at your feet, your hand long having stopped holding his arm. Instead, your fingers were fiddling with one another anxiously. Why did you feel as if you were betrayed? A desperate cry for love, you wished you could say it to him. To his face, sob and scream about what you felt. He was the only one who understood, who was willing to understand. He was the only one who ever was, and who ever will be.

The agreement. It was no longer just fucking, it never was. Not since the day you saw him with Kyle, not since the day he talked with you after Kyle gestured at you. Never. Could he also see it all the way you did?

Your silence was a clear indicator of the fact that you were lost in your thoughts now. Simon’s eyes softened up, and before he could think rationally, his body reacted on its own and embraced you tightly against his chest, strong arms wrapping around you protectively.

“Fuck…” He cussed under his breath, despising how his voice was thickening up with emotion. He hugged you like an old dog messily giving affection to its owner. My angel, my angel. I sinned, I have sinned. I am sorry.

He pulled you impossibly close, as if wanting to mold his body into yours, to become one. He could be with you forever in that way, to be your breathing and you his heartbeat.

You didn’t even feel confused at his rapid action at all. Just broken, so broken. He was the hammer that had finally hit the dam, and broke it. “W-Why?” Your voice wavered and mixed into a sob, your hands tightened holding onto him, fingers threatening to dig deeper as you let your head rest against him, tears tickling your skin. “I am so tired… So tired, Si. I hate you…”

“Do you want me to leave?” His hold tightened despite his words.

“No.” Your words came out a bit more forcefully than you had intended, too anxious to let him go. You felt his right hand leaving your back, a soft whimper leaving your lips once you felt his lips, bare and real, pressing a soft kiss on the top of your head, soon realising that he had taken his mask off. Too shy and messy in tears, you made no effort to look up at him and instead continued to cry, emotions desperate to keep pouring out and leave the imprisonment of your body. His hand continued to rub the back of your head while his other held your lower back, both of you unknowingly taking a few steps back and forth together, unable to stay still. It was as if you both were dancing slowly, like lovers.

“Alright. Hand me the keys, love.” You tentatively grabbed your keys from where you had kept it and handed it to him, your hands quickly latching onto him again. He carefully unlocked the front door of your apartment and led you inside, being extra cautious so he doesn’t accidentally step onto your feet. Closing the door by kicking it gently with one leg, he gently guided you towards the living room, easing you down onto the couch.

“Do you remember that creepy guy that came into the cafe?” Your voice was still shaky from crying, eyes all glossy as you finally looked at him, heart skipping a beat. Despite already having seen his face the last time, you still weren't used to it. Were you blessed?

He silently nodded and took a seat beside you, his arms leaving your sides so his large hands could cradle your face, thumbs tenderly wiping the drying up tears away while you talked, eyes looking everywhere but at him due to the sudden proximity. He didn't mind it at all, simply adored your sudden sheepishness.

“I still get scared at the thought of him… I don't want anyone like that to visit the cafe again. I-I don't think I can handle it.” Your voice gradually got quieter by the end, nibbling on your bottom lip. Oh, dear. Simon hadn’t told you that he had already beat that creep up. Now he somewhat wished that he had killed him instead. Surely Price would back him up if he made up some reason, yeah?

Your shoulders visibly eased up at that, your mind clearing a bit. Probably sobering up? You were sure that you weren't going to pick up a bottle of alcohol after this. Leaning into him, you decided to rest your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. Expecting a soft, calm rhythm — you were instead met with a fast thump, your brows furrowing though you decided not to comment on it.

“He wouldn't. No one will ever treat you like that again, love.” As long as I am here. Possessive yet guilty. He was vaguely promising to be by your side while always avoiding you, protecting you from himself. From the ugliness within him. No angel must spare a glance at a stray, especially not one used to violence.

His hands were playing with the fabric of your shirt now, mindlessly toying with it, feeling the texture under his skin as he gently tugged onto it. It felt oddly comforting, both of you not mentioning what happened outside the apartment a few minutes ago.

You looked up at him again, your eyes falling onto his lips this time. A bit chapped with a small scar adorning the side of his upper lip. You couldn't help but smile at the sight, leaning forward to place a bashful kiss on top of it. Simon let out a soft grumble at that, tilting his head to the side so he could kiss your lips properly, eyes fluttering shut alongside yours. He could taste some hints of your salty tears, his hands holding your waist while your hands held the back of his neck, letting his lips devour yours.

He held onto you gently, not wanting to be tight despite every fiber within him wanting to hold you fully against him once more, like a hound too eager to please.

Once he pulled away from the kiss, his heart skipped at the sight of your lips being all glossy. Ethereal. Your lips twitched into a giddy smile, and he could swear that he felt the heat radiating off you once it crept up onto your face. It felt soft, everything felt too soft and warm. The gentleness threatened to suffocate him once more, a mocking reminder of him being undeserving of such tranquility. He was supposed to be wed to the war, to violence. To the bloodshed that haunted his dreams. Not whatever this was.

But he refused to get up, not wanting to see any more of your tears. “We have to get you to bed. You need sleep.” He spoke quietly, a soft sigh leaving his lips once he felt your forehead pressing against his, letting you lean into him.

“Will you join me?” You normally would have never asked something like that, but the way he was holding you almost made you believe that he was willing to warm up a bit more with you.

Simon frowned at that, pulling his head back slightly. “We can't, you're drunk.”

Realising that he misunderstood you, blood rushed to your cheeks and you looked away in embarrassment, your voice getting timid. “No… I meant sleeping together. Nothing else.”

He paused, eyes softening up as the implication dawned on him. Sleeping together. Innocently domestic — something you both had never touched. He wanted to reject, to say that it’d be better for him to just leave. That could have been the better option anyways. Though he couldn't bring himself to refuse you, too enamoured, as if trapped in some spell by you.

“Fine.” He clicked his tongue in a poor attempt to appear reluctant, masking his inner eagerness. Helping you off the couch, he led you towards the bathroom first, opening the tap. “Let's wash your face first, yeah?”

He did everything — getting you in comfortable pajamas once he finished helping you clean up, even helping you in preparing the bed. Everything. It made you feel as if you were cared for, as if he was the warmth you had ached for throughout your life. The felicity had long spreaded within you once you laid down on bed, watching him lay down beside you.

He was tense, visibly so. You tentatively scooted towards him, a hand reaching out to settle onto his chest, to feel his heartbeat once again. Maybe in this way, you could sync your heart with his, build your own little bubble. Or was that too much to hope for?

“Thank you…” It just slipped out of your mouth like a soft prayer — a hidden whisper to be close to him so more.

“S'nothing.” His eyes looked over at you, taking in the contentment etched onto your face. He wanted to wrap his arms around you and hold you against him, to let you melt in his embrace while you slept. No. That's too much, that's crossing a line. A line made up in his head.

You're building your own grave, Simon. He despised his own mind for mocking him like this, for littering his head with unwanted thoughts. Just one night.

“Sleep now, love.” He whispered quietly, watching you reach over to turn the lamp off. You shuffled besides him again, letting the blanket cover you up.

Simon doesn’t remember the last time he had slept so nicely, your soft breathing his lullaby.

Upon waking up alone on your bed, a heavy feeling of dread settled on you alongside a throbbint headache. Had he left? Wasn't it just getting better?

Holding your heart together from cracking it with every strength you had, you tried to take a few deep breaths. Don’t panic, don't-

The sudden clinking sound from outside your bedroom made you jolt, and only now could you notice the pleasant aroma of something cooking. Sheepishly, you slid off the bed and tiptoed over to the door, poking your head out to look around. Able to make out some of Simon's figure through the open door of the kitchen, relief flooded deep within you. He's here.

“Good morning, Si…” You greeted him once you entered the kitchen, standing besides him, rubbing the weariness off your eyes. He gave a soft grunt of acknowledgement, focusing on cooking some breakfast.

“Your whole kitchen needs some restocking.” He mumbled, sparing a small glance over at you. You stayed quiet, a bit embarrassed by his observance. You were planning on restocking it soon, anyways.

The morning went by like a pleasant breeze, your mood ever so joyous today. You felt light, as if floating on the clouds and reaching the stars, as if becoming one of them, alongside Simon. He hadn't mentioned much about last night at all, even gave you some pills and an offer for a head massage. You had declined it, mostly because you didn't want to show how greatly affected you were by the subtle signs of care laced in his actions, despite it being already evident all over you.

You didn't know what had driven you to act in the way you did in the afternoon. Maybe you shouldn't have opened your mouth, just kept it shut and complied.

“Si, I um… I want to talk to you about something.” You paused the monotonous movie literally none of you were actually focusing on, turning over the couch to face him, your fingers tightly curled on your lap, digging into your flesh.

Maybe it was just your heart acting out, feeling as if things had changed. Foolishly clinging onto the thin strong of hope, never learning. Never learning that touching stray dogs was bad, they had fleas. Fleas that had already infected you, threatening to devour you.

“I think… Uh- I was wondering- I just-” Fumbling over your words, all you could hear was the loud beating of your own heart, each nerve of yours set on fire. Anxious, too anxious. You wanted to throw up. “I wanted to tell you that I really… like you, and-” Your words drowned into heavy silence once you took note of just how silent Simon was, how he was frowning.

A fool. A fool who dreamt too much, who was too lost amidst the heavenly clouds of tranquility. A fool who did everything to avoid reality — that's what you felt like.

“No.” His reply was rather abrupt, clear. The subtle smile on your lips fell, and Simon wished to do nothing more than drown into a river. “You don't like me.”

“I-I do!” Unbelievable, did he not believe that you like him? Even love him.

“You shouldn't.” That came out more roughly than he had intended to, a little snarl escaping his throat. “We've already discussed it, this is nothing.’

You should have shut up at that, should have somehow sewed your lips together and quieted down. You couldn't, instead growing more agitated, more on edge. “You can't say that, Si! D-Don't you see whatever it is that we're doing?” You whimpered in exasperation, trying to keep your voice from trembling, miserably failing. “I care for you! I do, and you care for me too. I can see it…” Vision progressively growing blurrier with incoming tears, you looked away and tried to ignore the sting in your eyes, your breath shuddering. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Simon was at a loss of words himself, his heart aching to kiss your tears away and plead for forgiveness. He was a cruel, cruel man. Cruel for being so terrified, cruel for being so persistent.

O Angel, forgive me for I can't let you love me, for light should never kiss the shadow.

“You shouldn't…” He repeated his words again, his voice quieter, weaker. A plea, a request. You shook your head, a sob erupting from your throat as you tried to reach out for him.

He pulled away just as quick, your hand never meeting his. An ocean that could never touch the moon, a man that could never touch a star.

“I need to leave.” Hastily he turned around and walked out of your apartment, leaving you speechless, hand still shamefully held out. Frozen and alone, unloved.

Simon Riley was a coward.

Simon had lost count of how many bottles he had drank by now. Feeling horribly, horribly similar to his father. A drunkard, disgusting. He thought the alcohol could wash his emotions away, drown them hopefully — all it did was make him even more vulnerable, his glossy eyes staring off at a distance.

Weak. Ironically enough, this brute was nothing but weak. Everyone should be laughing at him, you should be laughing at him. Laugh at him for not knowing how to love properly, for being so quick to run away.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing, making him click his tongue in irritation that soon melted away once he noticed the caller ID.

Price.

He picked it up and listened to his captain's words, each syllable both a stab and a blessing.

A deployment again, finally.

notes — i apologise for uploading it after A WHOLE MONTH. blaming it on the writerphew, a deployment! this could mean many things. also a heads up that either chapter 6 or chapter 7 will be the last one (made some changes to my plan!)

[yourheartinyourmouth]

and if you just don’t be negative in general. it sucks when you’re depressed as fuck and you just want to indulge in some quality negativity, but i promise you it wins you no friends or admirers, and it significantly drags your mental health down. you do have to work to suppress those thoughts, ignore them, and grit your teeth and actively have “fake” happy thoughts. it sounds so stupid and made up, but the thoughts you allow into your brain really do make all the fucking difference.

learning that self depreciation isnt cool and just makes the people around you uncomfortable unironically improved my mental health a lot. like if you just stop saying negative shit about yourself you will genuinely like yourself more and other people wont be repulsed by your attitude and you will have more friends. it's true.

[polarisjisung]

TRACK 505 — STILL INTO YOU

PROFILES 2

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Y/N — musician, ex-drummer for dreamscape, moving back to her home town after two years away turns out to be a lot different to the quiet, drama free, and most importantly jeno-free, life she expected. wanting to return to music again full time as a soloist is all y/n wants, but not everything goes to plan, there's disaster, scandals and way too many discarded lyrics sheets in her way

GISELLE — fashion designer, biggest donatella versace fan out there, y/n's best friend, professional jeno hater, always travelling for shows and shoots, loves to use her friends to test outfits, she gives tough love but its true love!! ride or die fr

JAEHYUN — musician, y/n's high school senior and biggest supporter and inspiration, #1 jeno hater but #1 mark lover, gets bullied for being old but secretly wouldn't have it any other way, signed to SM ent !

YUQI — model, y/n's childhood friend, best advice giver out there! the sweetest person you could've ever met, an absolute angel, but when yuqi gets angry.. it's destructive, also a jeno hater, if (when) she meets jeno, he is in for an earful, maybe a few punches too !

tags: @sinisxtea @nanawrlds @f6llsun @karlitava @dudekiss3r @kaosuni @ayukas @soo-sh1 @flaminghotyourmom @jenobubbles @sibwol @n0hyuck @blossominghunnie @i03jae @rikufan3000

[lostinlovingrevery]

He's Definitely Obsessed With You: Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Okay It's Time To Explain Yourself

Plot: Logan was back, and he gives you an explanation for his silence

A/N: Here it is! this ends up being kinda fluffy and short, but i hope ya'll enjoy :)

Warnings: Mentions of religion, anxiety, slight suggestive content (honestly so small it's not really worth tagging), this gets pretty fluffy me thinks

Word Count: 3679

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The rain had stopped. Albeit things were still wet, muddy, and humid. 

You were on a break, hiding behind the medical tent, facing the dense jungle that surrounded you and the camp you were. You watched a small creek that had formed during the rain, the water rushing through, adding to the background noise of the jungle. You were perched on a few wooden crates that were placed along the back of the tent, your knees brought to your chest. 

It had been an unusually quiet day. No gunshot wounds, no amputations, no colds, fevers, sepsis, colic, amongst the various things you saw day to day. The patients you did have did not need the usual babysitting, able to walk on their own, feed themselves, and use the bathroom without any assistance. You would usually be desperate for a moment of peace, but now that it was quiet, it only filled you with dread- wondering if this was just calm before the storm. 

“You hiding out?” 

A familiar voice graced your ears, as you told your head to see Logan standing there, arms crossed, and the soft smile that you’ve grown to love so much- perhaps because it seems only reserved for you. You relaxed your posture, not wanting to look like a child by the way you were holding onto yourself, so you dropped you legs over the side of the crate, and leaned back on your hands.

You wanted to make some joke, a sarcastic reply, but you couldn’t find it in you. So you forced a smile, and nodded. His expression faltered, a flicker of worry comes across his face as he walks over to you, leaning his back against the large crate you were sitting on. 

“Whats going on bub?” He asked. 

“It’s just one of those days Lo.” You said gently. He nodded. He understood.

“It’s been quiet.” 

“Yeah.” 

You both sat in silence, listening to the sounds of the jungle. There was an insect chirping nearby, an animal you don’t recognize calling out through the trees. You glanced at Logan, his back was to you, as he was staring out past the trees. He had that haunted look in his eyes, that you see often in most soldiers, but you knew with him that it was more than that. He had recently revealed to you his true age, and the fact that Vietnam was not his first war. You believed it, because of the way he carried himself, he seemed to know his orders before they were even spoken. He’d have this look on his face as if he done this all before, and he knew how this would end. 

You chewed on your lip, as you stared at him. Since you guys first met, you grew a fast friendship. Several of the men on the camp teased you about it, especially considering Logan was a reserved person, and most of them could barely get a conversation out of him. Yet when you were around, he’d brighten up, respond to anything you say, help you out. They made jokes saying that you must surely be giving him ‘the good stuff’ for him to be so perky around you. Whether they were talking about drugs or sex you didn’t know- or care. You were always able to put them in their place- which they absolutely loved about you. If Logan was ever close enough, and overheard their teasing, he’d come over, shoving them away, or grabbing the collars of their shirts, asking them if that’s how they talked to a woman- and also the only person who could save their dumbasses if they got shot. He’d make them apologize before dragging them off as they attempted to get free from him, laughing and claiming it was a joke, and he’d have a smile on his face, winking at you. It was one of the rare, more light-hearted moments that you could appreciate. 

Logan always acted so serious, but once in awhile that schoolboy charm breaks through- just for you. 

He turned his body towards you suddenly, leaning on his elbow on the crate you were sitting on, he gave you that sweet smile that always makes your heart flutter. A complete change in his demeanor from just a moment ago where he seemed far away in his memories. “What are you going to do, once your service is up?” He asks, his tone unusually curious. “Go back home?” 

“Mm. Maybe.” You shrugged, looking down at the ground. “I hadn’t thought about it I guess. I’m not sure if I’ll resign my contract..” You looked up at him “You?”

He paused, pondering. “Don’t really know either.” He says. “Serving, fighting, always seems to be the only life I’ve had. I’ve gone from one war to another.” He tapped his fingers on the wood, before glancing around. “I got a cabin, in my hometown. In the mountains. Haven’t been to it in a long time.”

“A cabin in the mountains huh?” You smiled. “I’d like to see that.” 

A small smirk appeared on his face. “You’d be welcome, if you wanted to visit.”  

“As long as you’re there. Hm?” You tilt your head. “Whats the point of going if you ain’t gonna show me it?”

He grinned. “Yeah. Maybe we could work that out. Whens your tour up?”

“In a year.”

“Convenient. So is mine.” 

You stared at each other, and you felt a warm feeling through your body. The idea of you and Logan, out there in a different life, far different from your lives right now. Something where you both could carve out your lives, maybe together. You wonder if that’s what he was thinking about to, with the sudden question. Finally, you both looked away, and for a moment you reflect on how you guys met. You looked down at his hands that were resting on the crate. Something that you’ve wondered before, but ignored over time popped into your head. 

“Hey Lo?” You grabbed his hand in yours. 

He looked at you, quirking a brow as he waits for your next words.

“Remember when we first met?”

“Course.”

“After you figured out that I knew you were a..mutant.” You lowered your voice as you say the word. You didn’t like having to keep the identity a secret, something you struggle with yourself- but nonetheless it’s safer this way. “The first thing you asked, is if I was scared of you.” 

His face softened. “Yeah, well you, you looked scared.” He says. “That’s why.”

“Oh.” You nodded, accepting his answer, it made sense, you suppose, though a small scratch in your mind made you wonder if there was more to it. “I was startled because you’d jumped up like a bat out of hell.” you teased him. 

He grinned, it dropping as he looked down at where you held his hand. Then he sighed. “There’s more to it. I…Being who I am. What I am. When people see that, they….They’re terrified sometimes. I’ve hurt people, with these things- that are apart of me.” He flexed his fist in your hand as he looked down at it, but he never brought out his claws, you knew that’s what he was talking about. He shut his mouth, jaw tensing, and you began to rub your thumb over the back of his hand, encouraging him to keep going. “I’d…Seen you around camp. Heard about you, what a nice person you are. I didn’t want to scare you.” 

You smiled at him softly, understanding. “I could never be scared of you Lo.” You say softly, “Even if I wasn’t a mutant myself, I…I can just tell you’re a good man, that you want to be a good man. That’s important.” 

His expression was something that both warmed and broke your heart. What you said seemed to mean a lot to him. He nodded, not saying anything else, as you continued to hold his hand in your lap, your thumb rubbing over his knuckles, the very spots that you’ve seen the boney claws come out of. He’d only showed you once, and you thought they were beautiful. He thought you were very strange for thinking that. You stared down at his hand, and even though he just talked about how much hurt he had caused with his hands- all you could think about was how warm they felt. It wasn’t till you pressed you thumb against the space between his knuckles that you felt him shudder, a small hitch in his breath. You looked up.

“I’m sorry, did that hurt?” You asked. 

“Uh..No.” He says, swallowing as he looked away, but he didn’t pull his hand away. Still though, you decided not to do it again, especially for the fact that you could see the tips of his ears turning red, and his cheeks looked a tad pinker than before. You instead curled your hand around his, and simply held it, secretly marking that observation in your mind. 

You ran towards him, practically jumping into him as your arms wrapped around his neck, and he caught you, stumbling back a bit, his arms going around your waist tightly. Setting your feet back on the ground, you both embraced each other, his face buried in your neck almost painfully. 

You took the moment to feel everything. The feeling of his sturdy figure pressed against yours, you could feel his nose pressed into the crook of your neck, his warm breath spreading over your skin. You could feel each deep breath he was taking, nearly matching each breath you took. He smelled just like you remember, that warm scent of cigars and leather. Your hands were pressed against the leather of his jacket. You weren’t going to let go. 

You honestly wondered if Logan was thinking the same, by how he didn’t budge, and you both just held each other. Soon though, the sweetness of the moment began to wear down- and now you were filled with questions. Logan must have sensed it, finally pulling away- his hands rested on your hips while yours sat on his broad shoulders. 

He looked down at you, that soft smile you missed so much. You felt like your breath was being taken away. You wonder if it’s pathetic to feel so… breathless, over someone you hadn’t seen in 2 years, someone who you merely had a friendship with. 

“I missed you.” You finally say.

His smile deepened. His eyes though, they told another story. They were soft, the way he always looked at you but you could see a stormy wave of emotion in them. Logan was stoic and hard to read for most, even you at one point. Though, as you gotten to know him, you learned that he carried his feelings in his eyes, not his face. You could take one look at them and know what he was feeling, and sometimes even thinking. You wondered what he had gone through over the last year since you’ve seen him. 

“I missed you too bub.” He says softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. You blushed at feeling his touch. 

“What- where- what-..” You stopped, taking a deep breath and closing your eyes. You needed to stay calm, who knows what he’s gone through, he simply needs you to be - “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!” You finally exclaimed, throwing your arms in the air. “I haven’t heard from you in a YEAR! I couldn’t find out anything, I didn’t know if you were dead, or a POW, or or or-”

“Hey-” His hands grabbed your arms, shushing you. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t my choice.” He says softly, his voice low, and soothing- something he’s taken with you when comforting you, when everything had become too much. “I can explain.” He looked down at you, silently pleading for forgiveness with his eyes, something you honestly compared to something of a puppy begging for scraps. 

I can’t be mad at him

You sighed. “I’m not angry with you Lo. I never could be angry at you.” You say. “I just…was so worried. I didn’t know anything. What happened to you?” 

“I know.” He replied, a softness in his voice. “I’ll explain what I can.” 

You nodded, taking a deep breath, you grabbed his hand and led him into your house, picking up your keys that you dropped on the way. He let you lead him, you setting him down on the couch, and immediately went to make tea. Well, for yourself. You knew he’d want whiskey- which you grabbed a bottle from Rose’s stash, knowing she wouldn’t mind. 

“Thanks.” He took the bottle from you, snapping the cap off with ease, and taking a long swig. He leaned back on the couch, spreading his legs, as he brought a hand up, tucking his thumb under the hem of his jeans, and seemingly making himself comfortable. You couldn’t help but smile, happy that he seems to be comfortable- but it felt strange. To see him in civilian clothing- as good as he looks. He had a brown leather jacket on, a flannel buttoned up, but you could see the collar of the wife-beater he wore underneath. He had on dark blue jeans, sporting some belt with a fancy looking belt buckle, and brown boots that looked worn down. His hair, still full of his brown wavy locks, styled a bit differently than how it used to be in the army- like he had put more effort into it, and his sideburns going down the sides of his face and along his jaw towards his chin and lips, completing a beard, not quite as full as you remembered it. He must have shaved. It’s been two years of course he’s shaved. He hadn’t looked like he aged a day. He hasn’t aged in almost 100 years. He just looked so handsome, and it was nice to see him looked at least...somewhat comfortable. It was even stranger that you had just resigned yourself to let go of him, any hopes you may of had for the future of your relationship together, or of just any communication you would have gotten from him and now he just randomly shows up.  He looked up at you after having glanced around your tiny living room that carried a mix of aesthetics and furniture that you and Rose shared. His eyes trailed over your body, and for a moment you thought you saw a flash of desire in his eyes. He quickly looked back up at you. “You look good.” He says. 

You shrugged, moving to sit down at the lounge chair across from him, sipping your tea. 

“It’s different. Not seeing you in your army clothes.” He commented. You raised an eyebrow, 

“I can say the same for you.” You smile over your mug. 

Another moment of silence, and he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I haven’t written. It wasn’t on purpose. I….” He looked troubled, unsure of how or what he wanted to tell you. “I was recruited part of a team. It was an operative team. CIA.” 

You blinked in surprise. CIA? Really? 

“What…How did that happen?” 

“It’s…a long story.” He leaned forward. The look on his face told you he didn’t want to tell you it. “It happened a little after you’d left, and at the time I was still able to write, but I couldn’t tell you what I was doing and eventually they forbid me to write at all, considering it a security risk. I can’t tell you what we were doing. All a bunch of secretive bullshit but…I can tell you that I thought about you the entire time.” 

You felt like your heart practically sprouted wings, and was now fluttering around your chest. So he was thinking about you as much as you did him… 

“I….Did too.” You finally admit, then sipping your mug in an anxious manner. He expression seemed to lighten at that. “So..Why are you here now?” You asked.

“I…Left.” He says, he took a deep sigh, his voice tinged with a bit of frustration. “After hearing about the end of the war, and then I had some…hard feelings about some stuff going on with the team. I was- am- just tired of it all. So I quit. Now I’m here.” 

You nodded. As curious as you were about what he was doing, what he was going through, you remembered how you felt when you came home. You were bombarded by questions about what it was like, what did you do over there, your thoughts and opinions on every little thing that was on the papers. What you wanted was some peace, quiet, and…well at the time you wanted him. You hadn’t said goodbye and it stressed you out to no end, worried you’d never be able to see or talk to him again, and when you received that first letter you were ecstatic. You wondered what would Logan want? 

Sitting up, you set your mug of tea on the coffee table the sat between you both. He watched you, as you sat next to him, and took his hand in yours. You interlocked your fingers with his, leaning back against the couch, your arms and your knees touching. 

Something told you that there was more to be said. Things that he wasn’t telling you and that maybe he did want to tell you. Perhaps if you pushed him, he would spill it. You felt this wasn’t the time though, he needed your support, your help, even if he wasn’t outright saying it. 

“Well I for one, am glad your here.” You say, matter of factly. He grinned, tight lipped, but genuine. You looked down at where your hands were connected. “So, you gonna show me that mountain cabin of yours now?” 

He turned his own head nodding. “Yeah, I sure can. Oh-” He sat up, his free hand searching his jacket pockets, before pulling out something, he held it in his palm. 

It was your necklace. 

The prayer coin, of Raphael. One of the first things Logan had noticed about you. You gasped, taking it from his hand. 

“You- You found it?” You asked in disbelief. The necklace had disappeared during the chaos that ensued when you got hit in the shoulder. You had quickly resigned that you’d likely never see it again. You had more to worry about and honestly forgot about it. 

“Yeah.” He says. “I…Kept it on me. I know technically it’s supposed to protect doctors and stuff but I figured… Maybe it look out for me too?” He says. You smiled. You knew he didn’t actually believe in that. The topic of religion you’d both talked about plenty of times, but Logan, not fully a nonbeliever, just had his own feelings regarding God and everything. Which, if you’d lived as long as he has, you’d probably feel the same. He didn’t keep the necklace because he’d thought it keep him safe. He kept it because it was a piece of you. The same way you kept that polaroid- still upstairs in your bedroom, tucked safely in one of the books on your bedside table. 

“I’m glad you kept it.” You say. “Honestly a lot of good it did for me anyway.” You shrugged, a bit sarcastic. You let go of Logans hand, and place the necklace around your neck, letting the coin fall over your chest, as your fingers brushed softly over it. “Y’know, having got shot and all.” You glanced at Logan, who’s eyes went to your shoulder. “I’m fine. The only thing that bothers me is that it’s sore when it rains. Sometimes lifting heavy stuff bothers it.”

“Well, guess that means I’ll have to do the heavy lifting.” He says. 

“Pfft, as if I didn’t make you do it already.” You rolled your eyes. You fell back against the couch, and Logan put his arm around you, tugging you against him, and you let him, you rested your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes for a moment as you felt the rise and fall of his chest. For two people who hadn’t seen each other in 2 years, you were both quick to fall into familiar ways.

“Yknow, Raphael isn’t just the patron saint of doctors and nurses.”

“No?”

“He’s also a patron saint of happy meetings.” 

“The hell is that supposed to mean?”

You giggled. “I don’t know…” You say softly. “Maybe this?” 

He grunted. “Well, I think I should get the credit for that. Not some guy with wings.” 

You smiled as you turned your head to press your cheek against his shoulder, the leather of his jacket felt cool, and comfortable against your skin. Maybe it was all worth it, all the waiting and worrying. Obsessing over every one of his letters, wondering if you imagined everything all along. Now that he was here, you were reminded exactly of what you felt- what you always felt. You told everyone you guys were just friends, nothing more. You told yourself that, even if you knew better, you knew what you felt. You and Logan were never just friends. You both had something more, something deeper than friendship. Out in Vietnam, it wasn’t something you both could explore, things were dangerous, busy, and not to mention if something were to happen, it wasn’t like there was a whole lot of privacy. 

Now though, you both had time. Had time to figure out this thing between you, that has wore a mask of friendship but really was something deeper than that. Even if you both didn’t fall into the discovery of that something right away- as you soon discover- you began to navigate your new lives together. You’d help Logan adjust, giving him all the patience and understanding he could possibly want. He got a job at a lumbar mill, and his cabin that had sat cold and empty for years, was filled with warmth once again, but to him, it wasn’t because of him- it was because of you. 

Surely, things are only going to be brighter from now on. Right?

[winwintea]

ᴍᴀʀᴋ ʟᴇᴇ ᴠꜱ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ: y/n’s gang and the exes

Y/N ↬ a girl with a LOT of emotional baggage, just recently broke up with chenle after realizing he was toxic, moved to canada as a way to cope (?? why though) unfortunately for her chenle has formed a league of evil exes as a form of revenge on her and her life will not be filled with any peace any time soon.

WINTER ↬ minjeong, aka mark’s ex, who dumped him suddenly one day. now goes by the stage name ‘winter’ and has completely reinvented her image. currently dating jaemin, and also in their own band together

JISUNG ↬ y/n’s first ex, and a professional dancer/choreographer, has no clue why he’s here but he’ll try his best, 22 year old boomer

HAECHAN ↬ y/n’s second ex, very much a whore, currently in a boyband (except think 90s boy bands bc im obsessed with nsync* and backstreet boys rn)

JENO ↬ y/n’s 3rd ex, rapper and dj, bit of a pushover (poor baby), don’t bully him he’ll cry (literally)

SOYEON ↬ Y/N SO FUMBLED HERE. y/n’s 4th ex, very passive aggressive lesbian, full time assassin part time pop-punk soloist🤷‍♀️ so there’s that

JAEMIN ↬ y/n’s 5th ex, basically mark 2.0, a bassist for winter’s band, and photographer! probably way too obsessed with himself but it’s ok it’s na jaemin

RENJUN ↬ y/n’s 6th ex, solo singer, his voice is literally so angelic, biggest idgaf person ever, also really good friends with chenle

CHENLE ↬ y/n’s 7th and final ex, not in the music industry, but the ceo of a very wealthy company, did not take the breakup well and posted a drunken rant on reddit only to find that all of y/n’s previous exes responded. and so the league of evil exes was formed as a way to get back at y/n

HENDERY ↬ y/n's best friend hendery, trust fund kid so he followed her all the way to toronto bc he has nothing else to do with his life, probably a walking hazard idfk someone come get their man

ZHANGHAO ↬ y/n's new friend, whom she met after moving to toronto, here to absolutely mother. very baffled at y/n's love life, thinks she's the most interesting person he's ever met.

Y/N and MARK'S private accounts

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SUMMARY ↬ mark has never wanted anything in his life. the lead bassist for 'dream on', unemployed, and quite literally a loser, mark expects he's hit rock bottom from here. that is until you, the girl of his dreams quite literally skates out of his dreams and into his life. mark has never wanted anything more. but is love really worth the emotional baggage when you have seven evil exes, who each possess superpowers and are intent on defeating him?

GENRES ↬ social media au (smau), fluff, angst, drama, fantasy au, band au, scott pilgrim au, explicit(?), gay people (ten) help mark find true love

TAG LIST ↬ @lyvhie @h-aechanie @aquaphoenixz @galacticnct @spiderm444rk @nerdsungie @nanaxwi @lotties-readings @nessaassen02 @alethea-moon @222brainrot @kittydollzz @n0hyuck @dudekiss3r @wony1e @whr4nakin @chenlesfavorite @onlyhyunjin (if your username isn’t in blue/grey, please check your visibility settings so i can properly tag you <33)

[the-bad-batch-baroness]

Where's Mommy?

Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Part 21

Summary: Wolffe's wife suddenly dies, leaving him a single father in the middle of a war.

Pairing: Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Characters: Wolffe, Cara (child OFC)

Tags & Warnings: heavy angst, mention of death, off-screen death, spousal death, grief, hurt/comfort, family fluff, funeral

Word Count: 1.6k

Author's Note: I have good news! I can say for absolute certainty that in the next chapter we will be meeting Lilith! I'm so excited to reveal and introduce her. She's such a great character and an integral part of the story moving forward. This chapter is bittersweet. It's starts out heavy but ends on a lighter note. As always, please enjoy 💚

Beta: @/beating-a-dead-plot

Part 1 || Prev | Next

Series Masterlist

As they approached the thrift store, Wolffe ran through several strategies in his head about how he was going to keep Cara preoccupied while he sold the rings. If she saw what he was doing at the counter, she'd start asking questions, and that wasn't a conversation he was ready to have with his daughter, especially in public. He needed the transaction to be quick and discreet, and the best idea he could come up with to keep her out of it was to just have her wander around the store and look at all the new and interesting things.

With a subtle deep breath, he opened the door of the thrift store, letting Cara walk in first. She had more pep in her step than when they left the Temple, which he was grateful for, and as soon as something caught her eye, she bolted. Wolffe quickly grabbed her hand, stopping her escape. "Hold up. Where do you think you're going?"

Cara pointed to one of the bottom shelves where a bin full of assorted toys sat. "Can I play?"

Wolffe felt relieved that she was putting his plan into motion before he even suggested it, but still, he hated it when she ran away from him without telling him where she was going. It made his stomach queasy, like when he watched his men run towards a firefight knowing not all of them would come back. "Yes, but those toys don't belong to you, do they?"

"No," she said, rocking back and forth on her feet as if she was being scolded.

"Then be careful with them," Wolffe reminded her. "If you break something, Daddy has to buy it, and Daddy isn't made of credits." It was true. He didn't know how much he would be able to sell the rings for, and he only had five hundred credits on him, so it was entirely possible for this transaction to render him completely broke, or subsequently in debt if she broke something.

Cara looked around. "Is your friend here?"

Wolffe sighed, hoping that she heard at least some of what he just said, but then again, trying to explain credits to a child who had no context for what credits were in the first place was less than ideal. "No, baby. I have some business here, and then we'll go see my friend. Be good and wait right here for me, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy," she said. He let go of her hand and she wandered off towards the toy bin.

He watched her as she settled onto the floor, legs splayed out and furiously looking through the bin. She pulled out a few things but didn't settle on any of them. He'd have to help her clean up the mess when he was done.

Once he was sure she was well occupied, he snuck up to the counter, which was further back from where the toy bin was, looking over his shoulder periodically to see if Cara was following him. Somehow his daughter made him feel more paranoid than the Separatists did, but perhaps that was because they were more predictable than a child.

The store's counter was more like a glass case, topped with a sheet of durasteel, and filled with the more expensive items like jewelry and antique thingamabobs that Wolffe couldn't make heads or tails of what they were. The gentleman behind the counter looked past his prime and was sitting on a stool and reading something on his data-pad, probably the morning news if he had to guess, but his demeanor didn't appear to be guarded or ornery, so Wolffe felt optimistic about his prospects.

He slipped his hand into his pocket to grab the rings, but let his fingers linger when he felt the cool touch of the metal bands against his skin. He clinked them together, slipped the smaller one through the larger one, and rotated the larger one around, just like he did when he wore it. The hesitancy was unfamiliar, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't will his hand out of his pocket. It was as if the rings were too heavy to lift. Wolffe sighed. It was asinine to get worked up over a hunk of gold that had no value other than the credits he could exchange it for.

"Can I help you?" the gentleman behind the counter asked.

Wolffe looked up from where he had been blankly staring and cleared his dry throat before he spoke. "I… How much can I get for gold?"

The gentleman got up from the stool and shrugged as he approached the counter. "Depends on the weight of the gold and the purity. Show me whatcha got."

Wolffe bit his lip, his gut twisting into more knots. He had to do it. What other choice did he have? It was very rare for him to get into a position where his gut overrode his mission objective, and at the moment he was in a full-blown crisis–paralyzed by the decision. The only thing he knew that could get him out of this situation was to order himself to do it because as they all knew, good soldiers followed orders. It was weird, he had to admit, but whatever worked was the name of the game, and with a single silent order, he placed the rings on the counter.

"They're solid gold," Wolffe said as if his meager knowledge of precious metals meant anything to the gentleman behind the counter.

The gentleman knit his eyebrows and picked up the two rings, placing them gently into the palm of his hand. He lowered the wired glasses that sat atop his head and stared at the rings intently. "What language is the inscription?"

"Mando'a," Wolffe answered. The gentleman hummed in response as he continued to inspect the rings. It wasn't a well-known language, even among the clones, so it made sense that he didn't know it just from looking at it.

Turning to the other side of the counter, the gentleman placed the rings individually on a scale and balanced them out based on the proportions. He scribbled a few notes in his data-pad, then bent down to pull out a small case from under the counter. He flipped the latches open and pulled out a bottle of acid and a small file. Wolffe watched attentively as the gentleman tested the rings for purity. They wouldn't be his for much longer, but he wasn't going to let anything bad happen to them until the transaction was over.

When the gentleman was done testing the rings, he brought them both back over to where Wolffe was standing in front of the counter and placed them down. "You were right. They are solid gold and of high quality. I can give you 1,200 for the smaller one and 3,000 for the larger one."

Wolffe closed his eyes and sighed. It wasn't enough. He was still short three hundred credits to pay the nanny. "Are you sure they're not worth more? Even just a little?" He was trying not to sound desperate, but desperation was the only emotion he had left in the tank.

The gentleman quirked an eyebrow. "If I may, why do you want to sell these in the first place? I can tell by the way you've been squirming that you're not particularly keen on letting them go."

Wolffe was taken aback by the perceptive comment. Was he squirming? If so, that was new too.

"I can see they're wedding rings," the gentleman continued. "Wife ran off with another man?"

"She's dead," Wolffe said without changing his expression. The words were getting easier to say without getting choked up. He turned his head to look at Cara, who was still preoccupied with the large amount of toys she had surrounded herself with, and then turned back to face the gentleman behind the counter. "She's all I have left now, and I have to take care of her. I just… I need 300 more. Please."

The gentleman behind the counter looked between Cara and Wolffe and his expression softened. "The rings are only worth 4,200, so that's all I can give you for them, but I just bought some new shelving units that need to be assembled. If you put them together for me, I'll pay you the 300."

Wolffe's jaw dropped at the offer. It was unbelievable. He glanced at his chronometer to make sure he had enough time to get the job done before their appointment to meet with the nanny. The nanny service wasn't far from the thrift store, only a couple minutes, and as long as there weren't a thousand shelving units, he was confident he could get them all put together in time. "I don't know what to say other than thank you, sir."

The gentleman smiled. "Breathe a sigh of relief, kid. It's not easy being a single father. I should know. I was in your shoes at one point in my life, and sometimes a little assistance is required." It was Wolffe's turn to smile. "Follow me to the back and I'll show you where the shelving units are."

Wolffe took a step then stopped. "My daughter…"

"Don't worry," the gentleman said with a wave of his hand. "We'll only be gone a second, and I'll keep an eye on her while you work. I had five daughters, you know, and they were all a pain in my rear."

Wolffe snorted, a smile lingering on his face. It was nice to talk to someone who knew what it was like. He had enough trouble dealing with one daughter. He couldn't imagine trying to raise five of them at once. The thought alone gave Wolffe a massive headache. He loved Cara to death, but he didn't need any clones of her, that was for sure. "Lead the way."

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[hex6rcist]

10 Questions to ask a Mutual

Instructions: prev asks ten questions and you answer them, then ask ten new ones and tag ten people to keep the chain going!

New post because I am a YAPPER.

Tagged by: @we-keep-odd-hours 🖤

So stoked to answer your insightful questions about my fav movie. 😭

1. Thoughts on Eric Red's idea for a Near Dark sequel? (Mae and Caleb's adult, human, daughter has a run in with "kin" of the Hookers.)

Oof okay soooo tbh I hate it lmfao. Partially because I don’t think Mae and Caleb would stay together as humans to be so honest. I think if anything after the end of the movie they tried to make it work but ultimately returning to a human life for Mae wouldn’t just be difficult it’d be traumatic. She went from a young human woman, to a creature of the night who had to learn to kill, back to a young human woman who hadn’t physically changed in YEARS. She likely would have eventually split from Caleb because let’s be real he isn’t equipped to help that emotional baggage but I do think they’d keep in touch because I mean, they have this insane shared experience. Also not huge in the idea of a sequel of Near Dark. I’d much rather see a remake believe it or not. Still 80’s, include the juicy missing scrips bits (I’ll go on about this later lol), lean more into the family dynamic.

2. Top five movies with vampires?

In no order (please don’t make me lol)

Near Dark (duh), What we do in the Shadows, Lost Boys, Salem’s Lot, and I really adored Last Voyage of the Demeter. Honorable mention to 30 Days of Night.

3. If YOU were going to pitch a sequel (time machine back to 1987, or else a book/comic/etc) what would you say?

Oof okay so low I said I’m not keen on a sequel. Buuuut if I had to pitch one. I do love the idea of Severen coming back for revenge against Mae and Caleb. Maybe their relationship kind of imploding in on itself as they deal with this (very drama). I could see Mae now with this new context of her and Caleb’s relationship either having to double down on her choice to go with Caleb and picking the human world or doubling back and reuniting with Severen and wishing to go back to the night. In the end I think if she chose to go back, just for the drama. When Sev tries to turn her it ends up not working because surely you can’t just go back and forth on that right? And he accidentally kills her. Very bitter sweet.

Alternatively! Because now the gears are turning now! Mae after leaving Caleb and on her journey of figuring out who or what she is now as a human. Did going back have side effects on her physically? Probably!

4. Favorite scene that isn't the bar scene

Now THIS is a hard question. 😭 I want to say the shoot out because it is so so fucking good or even when they first get to the motel and they’re starting to warm up to and accept Caleb. But my true to the bone answer has got to be when Homer brings Sarah back to the motel. It’s just a priceless situation lol. All of their reactions are so telling. Sev grinning and kinda chuckling like “ah shit, this is gonna be good” and joking around. Jesse’s just absolute “you’ve gotta be kidding me right now” look. Diamondback’s annoyance and just being like “well obviously I’m the one who’s gonna have to deal with this”. It’s pure gold to me. It just cracks me up so hard.

5. We know (canon) that Mae was turned around 1982, Jesse around the Civil War, and (kiiiiiinda canon?) Severen in Tombstone in the late 19th century. When/where do you think Diamondback and Homer were from?

Ooh okay I’ve done this before! My answer that’s stayed the same is I LOVE the idea of Diamondback having been a prohibition era rum runner who met Jesse on a run. Also a clue in on how she got her name. It just simply speaks to me.

As for Homer… I’ve changed my mind. Initially I was under the impression that Diamondback turned him (hence the need she felt to step in with the Sarah situation) but after reflecting on it. I can’t get the way Jesse called him “old man” out of my mind. So I asked myself. Well what if Homer is older than Jesse and wasn’t turned by anyone in the clan? What’s his connection to them?

My current HC is that Homer and Jesse were turned by the same vampire, they’re brothers. In an interview Lance Henriksen shares his idea for how Jesse was turned. Which was by a mysterious creature at sea. Which I sort of love! It gives a more fantastical element to this vampire story that feels very rooted in a gritty reality. I like to think that Jesse was turned by a vampire who was ancient (a la Queen Akasha from Queen of the Damned). A vampire who’s so old they’re barely human and would have no qualms with turning a child.

6. Do you think if Caleb got over his selectively applied human moral code that he would have made an okay vampire, eventually?

Okay is a low bar and I think he’d clear it! Eventually he would have just had to suck it up (lol) and deal with it. That would be his life. I’ve mentioned in other things I’ve written I think he’d be a very picky feeder but I don’t think he’d continue to be a “weak link” so to say. Maybe! Even as the centuries passed he’d come to enjoy it. Maybe…

7. Severen: ace/aro spec, or no?

I can see how this idea came about as he is the only one in the clan not romantically linked or seeking that connection however I don’t think it’s from a lack of sexual or romantic interest on a large scale. I think it just wasn’t important to him at that time. There was a lot going on! He had to deal with this new dude and try to get his dick wet? He’s busy damn it! I could see him being like demiromantic but like dtf. Like he’s gonna bang but you have to earn his love. Def has past lovers who hate him lmfao.

8. Any scenes that were changed from script to film, or otherwise cut that you wish made it into the movie/were done differently?

The fact that we didn’t get to see Severen jump out of the back of the van in the scene following the shootout and lay down some serious high speed carnage on those cops is a crime against me personally. I NEED THAT SCENE. GIVE IT TO ME. PLEASE. LET THE FERAL MAN DO FEEAL ACTS.

9. What would have happened if Loy and Sarah were at literally any other motel that night?

Well I suppose Sarah and Homer wouldn’t have met! Therefore Caleb would have stayed with the clan, Homer would eventually move on from the Mae situation and maybe find a new target later down the line, Loy and Sarah would eventually just lose the trail and have to go home perhaps even accepting Caleb was gone.

This gives me another good idea though! Loy returns home without his son and isn’t quite the same. Eventually a local from town sees him (idk at church or something like that) and explains that he saw Caleb at the sables the night he went missing! And he was with a girl. They explain to Loy about how the horses seemed spooked by her. Come to think of it not long after that night 4 dead bodies showed up, drained of blood.

LOY BECOMES A VAMPIRE HUNTER.

What do we think?

10. Aside from her god-awful taste in boys, what's your opinion on Mae?

I actually love Mae. She’s so weird girl coded. Cryptic, hopeful, adventurous, curious, even a touch stubborn. She’s almost a little awkward but knows how to turn on the charm and use her perceived innocence to her advantage. She oozes this deep sense of knowing and understanding. And yes awful taste in boys lmao.

This was so much fun! Thank you for tagging me!!!! 😭🖤

My questions and tagees will be below the cut for space! Because I rambled!

1. How are you!? I hope your day is going well.

2. What are you currently working on? Any little projects of any kind you’re excited to share?

3. What have you been watching lately? I just finished Righteous Gemstones and I need a new show lol.

4. (A Near Dark one because how can I not) what’s your favorite small detail in the movie that other people might overlook?

5. What blog should I follow right now?

6. Best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

7. If you could add one fantastical element to the real world and have it be a commonly accepted and known about thing what would it be? (Ie make Santa real)

8. What’s the last book you didn’t just read, you DEVOURED?

9. What are you most passionate about?

10. What do you think is your best quality?

I tag: @we-keep-odd-hours (again lmfaoooo, you don’t need to ask more questions) @babieswrld (heyyy!) @turquoisebolotie (I miss you 🥺)

[blindhades]

thank you for the tag this was fun <33

tags: @thesunkeptrising @i-cross-my-legs-justlikeaqueer @king-nyx @firebrand-witch

i made a quiz: what does your soul smell like? (friendship/ relationship compatibility in the results!)

[hippolotamus]

Seven Sentence Sunday 🥂

tagged by @weewootruck @eddiebabygirldiaz (definitely go check their snippets!)

Still in the rework phase. Please take this snippet of come close (let me be home) (prev snippets here) under the cut for the sake of your dash 😘

“I know it’s tough, kid. I’m sure this isn’t easy for you,” Bobby says, leading them through the crowd to a table near the back. “Athena won’t steer her wrong, though.” “I don’t doubt it, Lor- Bobby. I just didn’t think it would be this difficult, honestly. I want her to be happy, but–” “You want to keep her safe.”  “Exactly!” Evan accepts a champagne flute, noticing Bobby takes a lemonade for himself. “I guess I always felt like I had no say before, even though I knew Lord Kendall was a terrible choice. It’s difficult not to want to be more involved this time.” “That’s understandable. Commendable even.” Bobby pauses to take a sip of his drink before cryptically adding, “Sometimes no matter how much we try to protect the people we love, it’s never enough.”  Evan thinks there might be a story there, but doesn’t press for more information. He’s not going to ruin any trust being built by prying into his host’s past. He also tries not to think too hard about how true Bobby’s statement has been in his own life. Instead he shifts his focus back to where Maddie is talking with Athena, smiling at all the right times and looking like she’s genuinely enjoying herself. He walks with Bobby to rejoin their small group, handing a glass to Maddie.  “Anyone promising?” He asks, when suddenly a familiar face catches his eye across the room. It’s the man from the park, surrounded by a mob of enthusiastic socialites not so subtly shoving their dance cards at him.   “I know him,” Evan murmurs without thinking.  “Viscount Diaz?” Bobby questions.  Athena cuts in before Evan can answer. “I didn’t realize you had met. I know I certainly didn’t make the introduction. Bobby, did you?” “Not that I recall, my love.” “I, uh-” Evan gulps down the last of his champagne, feeling his cheeks flush. Apparently his etiquette has slipped his mind, causing him to forget how important it is that any introductions are made through Athena or Bobby. “I must be mistaken then.”  “He is handsome,” Maddie whispers, leaning in close.  “Y-yes, I suppose he is,” Evan mumbles, feeling his cheeks flush.  His sister’s observation isn’t wrong. Still, something about her acknowledging the obvious fact, coupled with the man – Viscount Diaz – being here at all doesn’t sit right under his skin.  “Your sister could do much worse than the Viscount,” Athena comments, looking quite pleased with herself. “He’s an honorable man with plenty of land and income. I daresay he would make an admirable choice. In fact, I’m not sure why I didn’t consider it before.”  “May I have this dance?” A gentleman – thankfully not the Marquis or the Viscount – approaches Maddie, extending his hand. He’s of average height and build with mousy brown hair and a forgettable face. As far as Evan can tell there is absolutely nothing noteworthy about him. Nevertheless, Maddie smiles and accepts his hand, letting him lead her to the floor as the music begins.

so many of you have recently posted so absolutely no pressure tagging @shortsighted-owl @stereopticons @elvensorceress @disasterbuckdiaz LOML @lizzie-bennetdarcy @vanillahigh00 @rmd-writes @welcometololaland @apothecarose @jesuisici33 @daffi-990 @callmenewbie @giddyupbuck @wikiangela @jamespearce9-1-1 @spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @lemonzestywrites @thewolvesof1998 @steadfastsaturnsrings @loserdiaz @heartshapedvows @underwater-ninja-13 @fortheloveofbuddie @eowon @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @spagheddiediaz @chaosandwolves @wildlife4life @buddierights @911onabc @the-likesofus @spaceprincessem @fionaswhvre @barbiediaz @honestlydarkprincess @pirrusstuff @gayedmundodiaz @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @maygrantgf @statueinthestone @indestructibleheart and anyone else who wants to share 💖

[babieswrld]

The 10 questions post was getting too long and I got tagged 3 times so I'm making my own RIDICULOUSLY long post here so I can answer all of the questions teehee <3

INSTRUCTIONS: Prev asks 10 questions and you answer, then ask 10 new questions and tag ppl!

From @rock-n-macabre

Do you think Severen survived the end of Near Dark and he's probably just chewing on roadkill somewhere until he gets his strength back?

100% Severen's still out there running amuck and causing chaos on the backroads of Oklahoma (Caleb and Mae DO eventually turn him back to being a human and he's rightfully bummed with his average human life so he has an existential crisis, dyes his hair, and drives around drunk in a shitty green valiant he stole until he decides to get naked and tries to fight a tornado and ends up getting his ass saved by a beautiful angry woman and her team of adrenaline junkies and obviously that isn't canon but COULD YOU IMAGINE 💀)

Weirdest song you get stuck in your head?

It widely varies depending on the type of music I'm listening to at the time. Recently however it's been Psycho Killer by The Talking Heads and I mean what an absolute banger of a song but one I cannot sing out loud for fear that people around me would become concerned.

What is an item you wish would become a fad?

I feel like I'm going to sound like SUCH a crotchedy old woman saying this but the rise of "TRINKETS" in mainstream culture, aesthetics, and trends. Don't get me wrong I LOVE bag decorations, I have an ita bag I've been lovingly decorating for like 7 years now and I display all my fun pins and keychains that I've acquired mostly at cons over the years, I love it when people are unafraid to display themselves and their interests/hobbies to the world. However my biggest issue with it is that it has become such an 'in' thing to do right now that MASSIVE amounts of junk are being produced by big name trendy stores and it's frustrating because I know that in several months all of that is going to end up in dumps and landfills and thrift stores. Many of these 'trinkets' and charms are in demand because they are what's most popular and people want to show off having the 'in' thing and I get that...but pls I wish more people would be genuine and true to themselves 😭 okay omg rant about that over

If you had to live in an era, what would you choose?

Even since I was little I have a very cultivated obsession with Ancient Egypt, SPECIFICALLY the late Ptolemaic period and EVEN MORE SPECIFICALLY the era from the beginning of the reign of Cleopatra VII to around 30 AD so I think if I could choose to live in ANY time period it'd probably be that one lol. As for other eras I think it would be interesting to be able to visit I'd say...Tudor England, Qing Dynasty China, and probably like the 70s-80s era just from a fashion standpoint.

Fav genre of music?

I think for the most part my favorite music to listen to falls under the category of dream pop, but I'm also very big into alt and rock because for the most part that is what I grew up listening to.

Fav past time?

I have SO MANY. Basically if it's a creative pursuit I'm interested in it. Film, acting, photography, lighting, but the main one I'd say is probably sewing.

Gators or Crocs?

Crocs!!! Both are fascinating but crocs just look like such funny little guys sometimes hehehe

Possums or Armadillos?

POSSUMS. THEY ARE JUST SO CUTE AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH???? What majestic babies and they get such a bad rap but they're just trying to vibe!!!!

Tacos or Burritos?

Tacos. There is so much versatility in a taco. Soft shell, hard shell, BOTH??? Sometimes with burritos the filling to shell ratio is off and there's too much filling and not enough lovely tortilla for me to enjoy??? With tacos I can fill it as I please and I can see all of my amazing goodness layers and just UGH, tacos are perfection.

Best Bill Paxton movie?

This answer is going to be SO TYPICAL for me but it has to be Twister. Twister was the first film I ever saw him in and growing up that was one of my favorite films and to this day if it's on TV I will sit and watch it. To me, the movie is masterclass in what a good disaster film can and should be with a super compelling, talented cast.

Next is @we-keep-odd-hours

Thoughts on Eric Red's idea for a Near Dark sequel? (Mae and Caleb's adult, human, daughter has a run in with "kin" of the Hookers.)

I'm not mad at it! I feel like conceivably the concept is interesting and it could be marketable, but for me you'd have to really develop characters to fill the shoes of Jesse, Diamondback, Homer, and especially Severen. I wouldn't want to see outright clones, or 'imitations', but making sure to give their "kin" their own traits, quirks, and personality whilst still feeling like they fit together with the Hookers.

Top five movies with vampires?

Near Dark (1987)

The Lost Boys (1987)

Dracula (1958)

Nosferatu (2024)

Valerie and Her Week Of Wonders (1970)

Oddly enough that was super hard to do because I'm not actually really a vampire girl, like the vampire has to be COMPELLING for me to be interested. Within the horror genre as a whole I'm actually more of thriller/slasher horror girl than I am a paranormal girl.

If YOU were going to pitch a sequel (time machine back to 1987, or else a book/comic/etc) what would you say?

Oh. gosh. HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU HAVE BECAUSE I HAVE FUNNILY ENOUGH THOUGHT SO DEEPLY ABOUT THIS. Actually somewhat similar to Eric Red's idea I wouldn't mind a sequel following the daughter of Caleb and Mae HOWEVER, in my version of events Caleb is actually a single father to their teenage daughter. Mae, realizing how unhappy she is with life decides to leave when their daughter is still really young. The thing about Mae is that she doesn't seem too choked up about the whole murderous vampire thing, I don't think she actually had much of a problem with what she and the other Hookers were doing. I could see Mae becoming a serial killer as a human, in an effort to feel more...her version of normal. I think she'd stick to small towns and backroads, just like the ones she called home with the clan. She doesn't disappear entirely from her daughter's life, but their relationship is super strained even tho Mae does genuinely care about her daughter. Meanwhile I see their daughter growing up as the kind of kid who gets into trouble like...a lot. I'd set this roughly around 2007-2009 ish, let's say their daughter is 15 or 16, and she's in this ANGSTY TEEN PHASE and this girl...dresses like she's straight out of an old Hot Topic ad, I'm talking baby mall goth here and there's probably nothing worse than living in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma as a baby goth...but Caleb is at the very least a supportive dad!! Even if he doesn't quite get it, he's supportive! Their daughter is someone with a fascination for witchy things, and dark things, and the girl might be a little obsessed with the concept of vampires. Anyway YADA, YADA SOME MAGICAL SHIT OR SOMETHING....BUT Jesse, Diamondback, Severen, and Homer are back...and they are out for revenge. Only they are surprised to find that Mae is nowhere to be found and Caleb's weird teenage daughter looks an awful lot like Mae! Hm...So I think they'd go the route of using the kid to get to Caleb. Admittedly I haven't hashed out the other details but I think Mae would somehow find out about their return and she ends up seeking them out, not realizing that they are going after her daughter and idk about an ending for this one but maybe one day it'll come to me lol

Favorite scene that isn't the bar scene?

The scene where they're playing poker in the hotel room and Severen and Jesse draw guns on one another because Jesse caught him cheating, just the whole chaotic vibe of them and Homer smoking and the way Diamond kicks Severen's chair...I love it. I love their fucked up little family and their fucked up closeness.

We know (canon) that Mae was turned around 1982, Jesse around the Civil War, and (kiiiiiinda canon?) Severen in Tombstone in the late 19th century. When/where do you think Diamondback and Homer were from?

I cannot lie I am so deeply in love with the way you write Di and her backstory I genuinely cannot see her as being from any other time than the 20s or 30s, like you just write her so well and so naturally that in my mind that's the exact era she fits with. AS FOR HOMER...I think he's old, like if Jesse's old I think Homer is REALLY old. I have this image in my head of Homer and my brain keeps screaming Salem Witch Trials-era, so like late 1600s roughly. He's OLD and he's tired of being young. As for what exactly he was doing the whole time BEFORE Jesse found him? I'm not sure, but what I am sure of is that I do believe in my heart that he's older than Jesse.

Do you think if Caleb got over his selectively applied human moral code that he would have made an okay vampire, eventually?

Yes. Do I think he'd make a fun vampire??? No, not really, I think it'd take a very VERY long time for him to find joy in it the way Severen does, but yeah I think eventually he would...I CAN say that in my Near Dark/Twister AU, by the time 1995 rolls around he's mostly gotten over it.

Severen: ace/aro spec, or no?

I see it. Love isn't his main objective, sex isn't his main objective. Having fun is his objective and I could honestly see him going either way. The way I've written him thus far is that the sex is more about fulfilling the need to fully possess something, to hold power over something and that's what he gets off on more than the actual physical act itself(he does get off on that too tho just to a lesser extent in what I've wrote). To me he also gives off strong bi energy.

Any scenes that were changed from script to film, or otherwise cut that you wish made it into the movie/were done differently?

If I am remembering correctly following a chase with cops I think in the script Severen jumped out the van to lay down business I JUST WISH WE'D GOTTEN A LITTLE MORE CARNAGE A LITTLE MORE FERAL. Over all tho I'm happy that Di is more of her own woman in the film as opposed to the script where she follows what Jesse says without question.

What would have happened if Loy and Sarah were at literally any other motel that night?

I think eventually Caleb would have accepted his place and his new life. He wasn't exactly happy but he also wasn't like...actively lamenting the entire film and stuff. Maybe down the road as she got older Sarah would have started to look harder into her brother's disappearance maybe and that'd make for a good little story too.

Aside from her god-awful taste in boys, what's your opinion on Mae?

I love her. I think she's under-utilized and people don't appreciate her strange and off-putting nature!!! To me she gives off the vibe that vampirism wasn't necessarily a hard adjustment for her which makes me wonder what she was like as a human. Maybe she had homicidal tendencies beforehand, maybe she was always interested in death and other macabre things that girls aren't "supposed" to like or think about. Her speech about the stars is deep and impactful, she thinks and she feels very deeply. But she's also very much a teenage girl who's gonna make mistakes and I like that because it makes her feel that much more realistic.

AAAAND FINALLY @hex6rcist

How are you!? I hope your day is going well.

My day is going well!!! It was actually my first day back at my full-time job since taking ill 2 weeks ago so just getting back into the swing of things lol

What are you currently working on? Any little projects of any kind you’re excited to share?

SEVERAL WIPS, which is usual for me 🙃 I tend to jump from one to another depending on my mood of the day, it unfortunately means it takes me FOREVER to finish anything lol. Working on my MAIN Severen/Jo AU as well as a side AU for them which is actually based around reincarnation ideas and coming up with a backstory for Severen which basically answers the question of what he was doing before being turned. On a side project I'm trying to improve my manip skills in photoshop so I might end up sharing some of those as well.

What have you been watching lately? I just finished Righteous Gemstones and I need a new show lol.

Yellowstone actually! I enjoy the vibes of the show even though in my head all I can think of is a tweet someone made about the show being Game of Thrones with cowboys which like...damn they aren't wrong but still!!!

(A Near Dark one because how can I not) what’s your favorite small detail in the movie that other people might overlook?

This is such a small detail but the LIGHTING, the way the night time outdoor scenes are lit. I really like that the lighting is very cool in most scenes which is something I notice I don't see a ton of especially in older movies, I feel like I tend to see a lot of scenes more warmly lit. Also the detail in the patches and pins that are apart of Severen's whole look I LOVE the way it characterizes him as someone who likes taking trophies!!

What blog should I follow right now?

@hauntanelle I LOVE LOVE LOVE the whole vibe of their blog and the photos they post are incredible

Best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

Fake it til you make it. Imposter syndrome is a bitch and I struggle with it every single day and faking that air of confidence instills a sense of confidence in others too strangely enough. I know that I, like many people, am my worst critique and enemy when it comes to my own abilities.

If you could add one fantastical element to the real world and have it be a commonly accepted and known about thing what would it be? (Ie make Santa real)

Aliens. I KNOW THEY'RE REAL I KNOW THEY ARE OUT THERE BUT I WANT EVERYONE ELSE TO BELIEVE TOO.

What’s the last book you didn’t just read, you DEVOURED?

It pains me to admit this but it has been a LONG TIME since I've actually had a chance, much less the patience to sit down and read a book. I used to religiously devour books as a youth, reading was one of my favorite activities and I will thank my mom for fostering that and buying me all of the Warrior Cats books my little heart could ever desire, ALAS...I was diagnosed with tinnitus in 2020 and my reading comprehension has not been the same since. The last book that I completed in a short span of time relative to the number of pages within it was probably Phasma by Delilah S Dawson which is a Star Wars book that featured one of my niche that-is-no-one's-favorite characters hehehe

What are you most passionate about?

Creativity. Pursuing and expressing that creativity. In the age of AI creativity is so important, the human touch that makes things different, personal, meaningful. My dream job(aside from acting which is out of left field for me) is to be a costume designer and with the way AI is being touted I might one day be out of a job. Stay creative and stay flawed, add that thing that only a human can add.

What do you think is your best quality?

I'm gonna creep(haha creep) it real with you, in my head because I am my biggest opp I believe have no good qualities and I am wicked HOWEVER I have been told I'm a good friend. I try to be! I try to be a good listener and even though the answer I have is rarely a constructive or good one I try to offer support where I can lol.

ALRIGHT NOW THAT THIS WAS LONG AS FUCK BECAUSE I RAMBLE AND I ENJOY YAMMERING ON AND ON AND ON MY QUESTIONS ARE GONNA BE BELOW THE CUT <3

So for MY 10 questions and the ppl I tag: YALL DO NOT HAVE TO ANSWER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO I PROMISE BECAUSE I'M BASICALLY RE-TAGGING SOME OF YALL <3

Which supernatural power do you think you'd benefit from the most?

Favorite film from any era that you wish more people have seen?

If you could pick one place in the ENTIRE WORLD to vacation in for two weeks where are you picking?

Favorite song/artist at the moment?

What is your dream 'job'?(aka what would you feel most passionate and happy doing in life)

Which season is your favorite?

Do you have a favorite comfort film/tv show?

What is your favorite era of fashion?

(How can I not ask some Near Dark ones cmon IM ME) If you could crossover ANY other film with Near Dark, what would it be and why?

You can only pick ONE of the Hooker clan to defend you and the rest are hunting you down. Who do you pick, and do you survive the night?

Tagging: @rock-n-macabre @we-keep-odd-hours @hex6rcist @lektricfergus @mrsvansickle04

[nomatterwhatnomatterwhere]

What a ( Not so) Strange World X

So… I know I said I wouldn't be long, but hey…life happens I guess? I've had the chapter set at 1777 words for longer than I'm willing to admit, so let's briefly explain why I'm late: I'm a fucking dragon.

Okay, let's move on to the slightly longer version eh? I'm moving, so I've been messing around the house and realising I own more stuff than I thought I did or didn't even remember existed. Kind of like a hoardin dragon.

So, having some slightly more important priorities than publishing the chapters of various works, I kind of forgot that I actually had to publish those chapters.

I don't want to bore you with my misadventures, although I may need to complain to someone about it because, really, I could write a comedy series about it.

I apologise, again, for the delay, but I would also like to thank all the people who have started following the story in the last period. I was buried by notifications, and it was also thanks to this that I was able to complete the chapter.

So many thanks for your patience, ( if you have some left over can you lend it to me? I swear I will give it back to you. No? Anyone? Sigh)

Ohh right ! Before I forget, since you asked so nicely I couldn't help but accommodate you (sorry I didn't answer right away) so well, anyone who would like to be tagged please don't mind letting me know

@jessiegerl

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"No kiddin! He collared me for eating one slice of tart! All his 'rule obsession' is outta control!"

It was true that 'Riddle' seemed a bit too rule-obsessed, but Ace wasn't really the best person to complain: if Riddle was rule-obsessed then Ace had no conception of what rules were - and probably broke them unknowingly for that very reason.

"Ace I don't thi-"

You were about to let Ace in on this too, but you interrupted yourself when you noticed both Cater and Trey stiffen slightly, realising that who was probably 'Riddle' had approached the table.

"My 'rule obsession' is 'outta control', is it?"

Yep. Definitely Riddle.

And Ace was talking bad about Riddle, to Riddle.

While he was talking you couldn't help but think how much he looked like a child; he was cute, he looked like a doll. When Ace had asked him to take off his collar, you had to restrain yourself from snorting: it was a definitely absurd request.

( seriously Ace, after breaking rules and bad-mouthing the Housewarden, did he really think Riddle would give him his magic back? Naive)

You knew that Riddle was absolutely serious while scolding Ace, but all you could see was a child playing at being an adult - little did it matter that Riddle was older than you - and he was absolutely adorable

( He had adorable little cheeks! You wanted to pinch them. But you were keen not to have any dog collars around your neck, thank you).

You agreed that 'tolerating rulebreakers' might have taken the campus down a path you didn't feel like going down, but you didn't think this was the worst habit the HeadMaster could have.

There was something wrong with that thing and you couldn't help but worry

( worrying about you, about Yuu's safety, about Yuu's survival, about Yuu in general… and even about the evil weasel, in part… and maybe the Problem Child ™ … maybe, you weren't sure Ace deserved to escape the destruction he was causing)

Regardless of what Ace thought of Riddle - to which you could now even attach a face, yay - you didn't think the HouseWarden's thinking was so wrong.

If there were rules, it was only right that they should be obeyed... after all, they existed for a valid reason - right? - and if those rules were broken, then it was only fair that those responsible were punished.

Moreover, at least in Ace's case, Riddle had also been respectful of his education, since his punishment did not affect his school results.

( And you actually rather agreed with Riddle: The problems that an Ace without magic could create were certainly less dangerous than those that an Ace with magic would have caused.

He would still have created problems...might as well limit the damage).

"Now as per rule 339"

" 'The post - meal beverage is to be lemon tea with two sugar cubes' I know, I just don't have a clue where to find the sugar... or tea to be honest, I haven't seen a kettle around, and my sense of direction would allow me to get lost even in an empty room."

You hadn't realised either that you had interrupted Riddle, or that you had said all this out loud, or that the table's attention was on you... you didn't think you had spoken so loudly, but at that moment you cared about your survival.

You apologised to Riddle, smiling rather embarrassedly at him, because really, you hadn't made a fool of yourself yet today.

To your surprise, the boy took it rather well: his eyes were slightly wide, but he hadn't shouted at you…

( Now Ace could have said that Riddle was playing favorites? The situation seemed that serious to you)

After announcing that he was going to get sugar, and saying goodbye to the others, he asked you if you wanted to follow him.

And of course you gave him an affirmative answer.

You were a little afraid to leave Yuu, but Cay and Trey wouldn't let anything bad happen. Although you hoped nothing would happen in general.

So slightly reassured by the thought that in case something happened Yuu would be safe, you got up to follow Riddle.

(You were fully unaware that as you walked away, the negative comments about Riddle were only just beginning.

You were, on the other hand, fully aware that someone was abusing sugar, if Riddle's gritted-tooth comment was anything to go by)

You and Riddle had walked in silence along the path leading from the table where you had lunch to the entrance of the Cafeteria, where on a well-decorated table, away from the buffet area, was everything you needed to prepare tea and other beverages.

( Maybe you could have made yourself some hot chocolate? It's been a long time since you've had some).

Riddle had been kind enough to boil water and brew tea, adding sugar to your cup for you.

"Do you follow all the rules to the letter?" you asked after thanking him for the tea, and were not surprised by his sign of assent.

"But all of them? Like for Rule 529 'If you eat steak on a night with a full moon, a cat must play the violin' does the cat get charmed into doing it? Or is it trained?"

He thought about it for a moment before answering

"It hasn't occurred to me to put this rule into practice yet, but I am convinced that there are both trained and enchanted cats"

"It's interesting how seriously you take these rules" the boy was about to reply but you continued "No offence, it's just that sometimes it's hard to follow them all perfectly, isn't it?"

( You didn't have to tell him that it had taken you quite a while for your sugar cubes to reach two. You weren't particularly fond of sweets as a child.

And that had earned you a few feeding lessons from Queenie who had taken your low sugar levels to heart.

Although your eardrums were still suffering from it, those were the first loving cries you had been given).

"With a little bit of effort you can succeed at anything if you want to" he was looking at the table where your group was.

"Ace isn't bad" he looked at you in profile as you continued " At least, I don't think so, it's just… that he doesn't think enough before he speaks, I don't think he wanted to wrong you"

It was true. You didn't think Ace was bad…just tremendously insensitive and stubborn.

(And maybe a little stupid.)

"To me, however, he doesn't seem to understand what the problem is," and you nodded knowingly.

"I don't think he understands the point of those rules . Or the rules in general, for that matter." and here you saw Riddle smile slightly.

"I'm not going to take his collar off just because someone intercedes for him."

"And that wasn't my intent anyway. But if he returned a tart and apologised, he should be allowed back in the dormitory, right?"

You honestly knew Ace would cause more trouble, but as long as he caused it out of your sight - and possibly away from Yuu - it was fine.

What was not fine at all was the thought of Ace staying in Ramshackle Dorm.

One night had been enough, and you didn't want to leave Yuu at the mercy of two and a half Problem Children™.

"Those tarts had been prepared by Trey for the upcoming Unbirthday Party being held at Heartslabyul, but I guess it can still go well."

Riddle had noticed how your eyes had lit up at the mention of the Unbirthday Party: you looked like a child who was ashamed to ask his parents for a toy.

And indeed it wasn't too far from reality.

You knew all the rules of the Queen of Hearts, but you'd never had the chance to attend a real Unbirthday Party, but you could sense that they were an important celebration, at least for anyone who was part of Heartslabyul, and you would have liked to attend, but to invite yourself was rude, no matter what world you were in.

However…

"Um..so if, um, we showed up to this Unbirthday Party, obviously dressed formally, and with this tart…could we strangers attend as well?"

Riddle peered at you for a few moments.

You seemed to know and apply the rules as much as he did, you had been polite in your manners and your eyes were shining for him to actually say no to you.

( And besides, there was no rule forbidding people from attending Unbirthday Parties, otherwise Che'nya would have been 'off with his head' more times than was humanly possible )

"As long as the rules are adhered to, there should be no problem."

You had greeted him all smiling after thanking him, bouncing away.

You were a ball of brightness. You weren't bad to be around.

You, on the other hand, thought your group of friends - could they even be called that? - were trying to get rid of you, as the table where you had lunch was totally empty.

Rude. Very rude.

Rook hadn't helped either. At your look of "you've got something to say abou it?" he had merely shrugged.

You didn't believe him for half a minute.

( You were right not to believe him. Rook knew perfectly well what was going on, but it would have been fun to see how you would have behaved)

It was only thanks to two Beastmen who were complaining - one of them - about an interrupted nap and someone who smelled "not - magic - at- all" that you realised which direction to go in

(even though it didn't reassure you at all).

Why were they in the Botanical Garden, of grace?

(On thinking about it, it made sense that they were going to retrieve the tools to collect chestnuts from there, but you didn't know that the bunch of idiots - Yuu excluded - had decided to make a Chestnut tart)

Which by the way, how did they think you were going to reach them - because it was obvious you were going to reach them - without knowing where they were going? With magic?

(Well, maybe so, but you didn't know how to cast such precise location spells yet).

You found them heading for the kitchens with several baskets of chestnuts - they'd made you wander the campus for nothing then - and filled you in on their intentions.

Honestly speaking, making chestnut tarts for an Unbirthday party didn't really seem like the best idea, but it had been Trey's idea and you doubted Trey had really wanted to get his freshmen into even more trouble than they already were.

Besides, if Riddle himself had requested such a tart, there shouldn't have been a problem, right?

(Although this did raise a few questions - which you kept sweeping under the carpet - such as, 'if Riddle is so bound by the Queen of Hearts' rules, how come he agreed to this crazy idea? )

After the chestnuts had finally been shelled and the two freshmen from Heartslabyul had been made fun of, you realised - Trey realised - that it was time to go to the school store to get some more cream, and while you were at it Trey asked Deuce to pick up a few more things.

You quickly pulled back: you had already walked enough around campus, this time you were going to pass.

After Yuu, Deuce and Grim came out you could "admire" Ace falling asleep on the table - with even a little bit of drool, how horrible.

"And he complained about our Dormitory, he can really sleep anywhere," you said looking towards Trey, who had a slight smile on his face as he approached you, leaning against the counter you had vacated.

"Thanks again for looking after him"

"It wasn't like we had a choice anyway. He did it all by himself. When he comes back to your dorm it will be terrible for you," you said, shaking your head.

There was a moment of awkward silence, or at least, that was what you perceived and you felt like you had to do something.

"When you make the muffins could you let me know? I'd like to help out."

And of course that something had to be awkward, damn you

Trey merely nodded.

You were about to open your mouth again when he anticipated you 'I didn't think I'd see you again. Certainly not under these circumstances," he chuckled.

"Well, um, I don't think anyone expected to see me again under these circumstances."

So you told him a very short version of your little trip from the RSA to the NRA, ignoring how he tried not to laugh openly, as Che'nya had.

You just couldn't help it. Trey had become even more handsome over the years, it was almost unfair.

Surely he had a girlfriend or something. That was even more unfair.

Your teenage self couldn't realise she had a crush on him when you had a chance!

You must not have been very subtle as you looked at him because, without missing a beat, he asked in the quietest tone in the world.

"You seem to be looking at something you like?"

Your shout - it wasn't a shout, it was an embarrassed and indignant babbling nonsense - had managed to wake Ace - who for once wasn't at fault - just minutes before Yuu, Deuce and Grim returned.

Deuce didn't look too good, but at that moment you didn't really care.

Your only thought at that moment was where you could dig yourself a hole to bury yourself from embarrassment.

(You were so engrossed in your thoughts that you didn't even notice how red the tip of Trey's ears were when he asked you that question, nor how from that moment on he would not only continue to glance at you, but also to make eye contact with you.

Which failed miserably because you didn't look up from the ground for another second.

In spite of everything, however, he was happy to still have the same effect on you. They were satisfactions).

Omake

While you were following Riddle around the Cafeteria, you didn't notice what was going on around you.

But Riddle did.

And he hoped you didn't ask him why he had suddenly changed direction.

But just as you wanted to survive Ace, Riddle wanted to survive Floyd Leech.

Riddle knew it was him. He had a sixth sense for when the merman was around.

And in Riddle's opinion it was never good to be near the Octavinelle trio

[punctuation-completionist]

, : ; ' -

5/22

bonus:

@

1/18

hey you're doing a great job, just remember: a semicolon can be used to combine two sentences where you might otherwise use a period; this allows you to create longer and longer run-on sentences

[noirvette]

WE NEVER EXISTED

[band smau]

[FOURTEEN]

masterlist.

prev. | next.

extra.

note: the black italics is Michael singing. The lyrics aren't in order though haha

"You guys out there don't mind if we play a cover right?" Michael calls out to the crowd. The crowd responds with loud cheers.

The guitar strum of 'Black Hole Sun' by Soundgarden starts to fall over the crowd's ears. The crowd cheers in delight at the prospect of this particular cover. From the sidelines as you watch the band; Graveyard Soldiers, your openers for the night play, you couldn't help but get into the groove of Michael's captivating voice.

"In my eyes"

Michael, last name unknown, he keeps it mysterious like that; is the band's front line singer, and electric guitarist. Last member, and from what Kyle told you was the whole reason this band (Graveyard Soldiers, not your band) nearly didn't happen.

"In disguises no one knows"

Pete Thelman, back up singer and plays the bass guitar, you and him had a fun time talking about what were the best bass guitarists of all time earlier. Second member, he was awkward, but overall a refreshing person to talk too.

"Lies the snake"

Henrietta Biggle, lead guitarist and sometimes keyboardist. She kept to herself mainly, but loved to talk to about music with you and Nichole. First member, she started this band to raise money to help find her missing brother. You remember the day he went missing, your band even helped pitch in with money before.

"Boiling heat.. summer stench"

Firkle Smith, drummer; absolute menace. He was scary, intimidating in a way you'd never thought was possible. He was nice, polite when needing to be but you know what they say about how the eyes are windows to the soul... He was the third member to join.

"Call my name"

From the corner of your eye you can spot Kyle walking over towards you, "They're good yeah?" He tilts his head towards the Graveyard Soldiers.

"Yeah! I'm really loving their style, I've heard their eps and now that they got an album, I'm excited to listen to more of their stuff." You gush.

"And I'll hear you scream again."

Kyle hums and you see his face become more serious, "Stan told me that Cartman's worming his way into causing havoc for you, that true Y/n?"

"Won't you come?"

Sighing, you look away from him and back towards the stage, "I really don't know. Cartman's never really interacted with me too much before, now he's tagging me in an update about his podcast? He even called me like four days ago. I'm sure it was a misclick, considering I say his name pop up for maybe three seconds before it disappeared."

"Cold and damp"

"God I hate him so much. You'd think he'd leave us alone, but he uses our band as a way to gather more fame for himself. Miserable bastard."

"For honest men"

You've never really seen Kyle badmouth anyone, sure for Cartman it's warranted and you've heard of the weird friendship they used to have, before it fell apart suddenly in high school. However it's still a bit surprising to you, seeing as Kyle makes it a point to be amicable towards everyone, even if he's not the biggest fan of them.

"In my youth, I pray to keep"

"It's fine, Kyle. He's a dickhead sure and he's the world's biggest attention seeker but that's all he really is. An attention seeker. No matter what he's going to do tonight, I'm not letting his bad mood ruin one of our best nights."

Kyle sets his hand on your shoulder and squeezes, "If he continuously causes trouble for you, let me know. You've helped me out a lot Y/n, let me return the favor. Besides, beating up Cartman is an easy task, it's refreshing seeing him get knocked down a peg."

"No one sings like you anymore...

Black hole sun"

Kyle removes his hand from your shoulder and you can still feel the warmth of his hand. "Thanks Ky, I doubt I'll need you to go extreme like that but if he becomes an even bigger thorn in my side, you'll be the first to know."

"And wash away the rain"

A bemused smirk dawns Kyle's face, "First? To know? Over Nichole?"

You chuckle, "Okayyy.. so maybe not the exact first, but it's the thought that counts? Right?"

"Won't you come?"

"Yeah, maybe when you're not lying.. miss L/n," Kyle teases,.

Your face holds one of mock annoyance as Kyle teases you and as Graveyard Soldiers do the instrumental part of the song you and Kyle just stand there, looking at each other.

"Hang my head... drown my fear... till you all just disappear"

"They're ending soon, make sure to do your last tune in." Kyle softly says.

"Won't you come"

"Got it captain!" You head further in towards the back to quick test your guitars, leaving Kyle to himself.

"And wash away the rain?"

Kyle turns to the band performing as Michael repeats the last lines of the post chorus.

You had decided to not bother checking twitter nor Cartman's podcast episode during the set change, the whole band decided against it, not for a lack of curiosity, but considering set changes were so hectic. You were curious, the nausea feeling of not knowing the answer to any form of a question of "why" eating at you.

You weren't even sure if Cartman had gone live, you doubted it, the crowd was just having a fun time talking to each other from what you saw when you peeked around the curtains earlier. Some people were on there phones but you doubt it was for Cartman.

In all honesty, you didn't need the stress of Cartman in your mind. What you needed was to give South Park the best god damn show you've ever done. You've grown a lot since your last big performance here, hell the whole band has grown.

So instead of giving Cartman another thought, you focused your mind on the set change.

Set changes were annoying, it's why Clyde actually hated having opening bands or opening for other bands like you have done in the past. Of course, opening bands were good in your eyes, it paved the way to allowing the crowd to experience new bands or genres.

"Dude, where did you put my drumsticks?" Clyde asked one of the stage workers in passing.

"Clyde. They're on your seat on stage." The worker replied, you could hear the disbelief in their tone. You couldn't help but feel bad for them.

With that, the worker left and Clyde was standing there like an idiot, but he was your guys' idiot and you had to let him do his own thing.

However, Clyde had a point to complain, the backstage workers going insane as they try and get everything put together properly did take a toll on you even. The quick instrument check before they were put up on the stage by the stage crew. Lights crew making sure they'd have no problem.

You could see Craig was munching on some crackers, having the time of his life knowing all he had to do was go on stage and take pictures of the band and the crowd and then call it a night.

Beside him, Nichole was going insane on making sure the stage looked absolutely perfect even though it'd be too late to change anything right now.

"Y/n! You don't think the stage is ugly right? I've been staring at this one sheer cloth placement that Craig took a pic for me, bless him, anyhow for like twenty minutes. It just looks off to me." Nichole rushed over to you, a picture on her phone that Craig took.

You look down at the picture, "Nicky.. the cloth is fine, besides Craig took the photo at angle look," You gently grabbed her phone and tilted it to the right, that way the picture was centered.

"Oh thank you, I was nervous that it was off center this entire time, I was about to jump on stage to fix it. Good thing I didn't it was just Craig's poor photography skills."

Craig looked at the two of you with a pointed look of "What the fuck" written all over his face; "You know, how about you guys find a NEW photographer then."

"Nooooo! Craig I'm sorryyyyyy." Nichole drawled. And the two started going back and forth.

Kyle looking lost as he ran out of things to do but you could see stress and worry marks all over his face as he ran through every scenario in which the band suddenly had the worst experience performing. Stan not caring about anything, he was really just taking in everything while he was doing last minute vocal warm ups.

You hadn't bothered to say anything to Kyle as he was trying to do something; not because you didn't want to but because you're not even sure Kyle would hear you. Whenever he got into this stressed manager mode (or as Clyde would call it; normal Kyle Broflovski), he tended to tune people out.

Tweek was playing with Craig's camera, or.. a spare. You doubt Craig would ever let Tweek handle his camera. There were three things Craig loved in the world; Tweek, his guinea pigs, and his camera.. but no matter how much Craig loved Tweek that camera did cost a whole lot.. and it was Craig's profession.

The lights were dimming out.. which meant go time. Everyone else paused and got into show business mode. You shook the nerves out of your body. No matter how many performances you did, you doubt that you'd ever go on stage without some sort of performance anxiety.

"Good luck guys! Have fun out there!" You hear Kyle call out as you all start to head out onto stage.

"You too!" Clyde responds before smacking his forehead with his hand.

From the podcast studio, Cartman and Heidi go live.

TAGLIST: @captivq @kimiesstuff @bwljules @the-cooler-kira @1one1person1 @kenny-the-ken @neenieweenie @n0tangeliccc @frogindisguise @revzxn @mirophobic @gonefiishiing @musiclovebot @bootsieboo @bonez4brainz @s0l4riss @1996kj @sweetadonisbutbetter @scinclaitnoir @okarigold