#<- kind of? Happy vent :3 I'm just surprised

[wowa-bublord]

idk if I should even post this but tbh ever since I've gotten a tumblr i've been kind of surprised by how casually people like me and want to talk to me on here,, I have a few friends IRL (who are just the most amazing people in the world) but I was also bullied like my whole life and making + keeping friends in real life has always been pretty difficult for me. I think I'm just generally kind of a lot for people, like I've definitely had a lot of experience being the weird kid, a lot of times I've been in situations where I thought someone was my friend but I was actually just annoying them the whole time without realizing (even online i've experienced this a lot of times before I made my own blog haha).

it's kind of overwhelming to go from that to experiencing so many people online who seem to actually like me and want to be my friend XD and also so many people who want to and go out of their way to help me when I've been dealing with this Difficult Thing haha. idk. I'm really tired but I just really appreciate it :) thank u 2 everyone who's been so nice to me on here

[kalki-tarot]

Your dream spouse vs. the real one ❤️‍🔥

You & your Destined fs 🌙

Take a deep breathe and pick a picture you feel most drawn to.

Disclaimer : tarot is not 100% accurate, this reading is just for fun. Tarot does not substitute professional treatment of any kind. I'm not responsible for any decisions you make on behalf of my readings. This may not resonate with everyone. Please be mindful of your own actions and thoughts ♡

I'll be very straightforward with whatever comes through and if you're not comfortable with that, please don't read this post.

Pile 1

Your dream spouse ❤️‍🔥 ‧₊˚

TW ⚠️ : tr*uma bonding.

You want the bad boy/girl type husband/wife. Someone who is impulsive, daring and savage. You may want someone who is your perfect match, and very compatible with you. You desire to bond over trauma with someone. You know those couples who've seen each other's most vulnerable sides. You want a very romantic and caring connection which goes till soul level. You may also want someone who is famous or well known or even who has power and command in the society. You like big surprises. You want to take care of someone who has been emotionally broken down or sad. You want to comfort a sad person. You want a spouse who has old money. You know that trope when there is a powerful person in the society, who's famous and all that, but they have love missing in their lives. You want to be that love to your spouse. You want a deep and intimate spouse who's cold to others but warm snd loving to you only.

Your real spouse 💓 ‧₊˚

33 and 66 can be significant. Your real life spouse is someone very hardworking and honest. They may like to socialize or be with family and friends. This is a very cute and homely energy. Your fs can be someone well known in their field for what they do. They are a family person, someone who's purpose is their family. They believe in long term commitments. They don't joke around, they want serious commitment or else don't enter their life. They may like to meditate or they are calm and composed, they don't seem to lose their cool easily. They are energetic and quick to make changes. They can be an engineer or in business. They are funny and cool. Their personality is very easy going and smooth. They may have emotional outburts a lot of times, but they don't vent it out on you. They may sometimes unknowingly disturb people and then get sad snd walk away when someone tells them something. Despite all of this, they can be of a very giving nature. They donate and do charity work a lot. They sometimes may have limiting beliefs that stresses them out.

Pile 2

Your dream spouse ❤️‍🔥 ‧₊˚

You want your spouse to choose you over any other girl/guy. You wanna be their top priority over anything. You want a mysterious spouse who only opens up to you. You want someone closed off from the world. You want a romantic person who is just like a gentleman/woman. Very caring towards you. You want an happily ever after with your fs. You want to have a rich and happy married life afterwards. Your fs may have a other women's eyes too on them. And they would choose you. You want a rich and wealthy fs.

Your real spouse 💓 ‧₊˚

Your fs may have many expectations of others on their shoulders which constantly makes them fight for themselves. Alright, this person is unhappy with their family or something. They get really sad about this. They somehow gather courage to do what others want from them. But they don't like it. And this is taking a toll on their mental health and making them hate everyone and everything. This thing came through so i told you. Let's get some more cards about their personality.

They want a stable and committed partner with a long term vision. They can be a hardworking person. They are undergoing a transformation right now with the death card. They are pretty emotional and romantic. They have the ability to give lots of love to you.

Pile 3

Your dream spouse ❤️‍🔥 ‧₊˚

You want to meet your spouse by destiny or fate just like kdramas. You want someone romantic, caring and loving to you. You may want someone who is like a reward to you. You want someone emotional, you wanna share an emotional and deep connection with your fs. You want a lawyer by profession? You want someone dominating, loyal and family oriented. Someone who works on a high position and offers you stability. You dream of a happily ever after marriage life with your fs. You want someone to heal or fix your broken heart. You want someone who listens to you without telling anything. You want someone rational as well as emotional, a balance of everything. That's good, actually. You secretly desire a soulmate for yourself.

Your real spouse 💓 ‧₊˚

Your fs may have two sisters. Your real life fs is someone who has a lot of options and choices in love but still, somewhere their heart says that no, there is someone else meant for them, that can be you. They're waiting for you. They are someone with a strong will and determination. They always act fast and logically. Whatever They're doing right now, they are starting someone new and afresh, can be a new start in life or work related. Their feminine energy can be a bit imbalanced right now. There is something which stops them from being expressive of their emotional side. This may be due to some childhood issues by a female figure i see. They are facing this blovk right now. But they're working on it.

[pleasestayawayidonotlikeyou]

if it's ok can you do a bad sanses x scp child reader. where nightmare find them in her negative universe all alone trying to survive (since she lost her father and friends) cause something bad happened and takes them in as their healer (cause the child doesn't want to kill). nightmare found her when she was 7/8 years old, nightmare would see a bit of his passive self in her, and the child would be neutral with the whole situation given they have seen crazier things from where their from (and just wanted to escape their situation from their world). but is a good kid and despite not wanting to hurt anyone she would rather get themselves hurt to protect those she cares for (would literally take a hit from anyone who tries to hurt dadmare, killer, horror and dust because of their past trauma and defend them with her telekinesis). their drawbacks of their abilities is if she gets extremely hurt or looses a limb when having zero energy she can't regenerate until her stamina is helped (energy like full sleep and have food or beverage basically having good stamina) but still can't die. (this is based off an oc of mine so here is more info with a pic to help) she sometime would have her breakdowns like the others from past trauma (also her soul would be perseverance) I'm sorry for the long read i hope your ok with this and if you have any questions I'm happy to answer :3

Holy shit this took too long to write-

Featuring: Nightmare, Killer, Dust and Ted.

Masterlist

Nightmare

Ah yes. Another dumb kid for him to add to the collection.

Since you were quite useful with your healing powers and all, he took you in. Big mistake.

Nightmare now finds himself caring for another kid (the other kids are the Killer Dust and Ted), oh well.

Is very impressed with your ability to regenerate limbs.. it's... Fascinating..

His grumpy self turns into one a bit more content.

You're like a memory of himself in the past, the voice that always keeps ticking in his mind, except you are real. "I am too.."

Didn't find out about Killer bringing you into missions until Ted came furiously to him demanding to know why would his boss let a child go to mass murderer missions.

Spoiler alert, he didn't know and quickly became enraged, that's his kid, how dare Killer bring you to missions without his knowledge!?

Nightmare finds it adorable when you try to protect him, he's already a god silly, he can't die!

Dust

Stay still, he wants to study you.

He may or may not like SCPs...

Holds a notebook and pen, writing down any information he can get out of you.

Impressed with your powers, but not surprised, he knows Nightmare wouldn't take in a healer who can't defend themselves.

Watches in the shadows, if you need him just call his name.

Finds Killer's idea of bringing you to missions dumb, but there's nothing he can do can he?

You two may have time alone, and he uses that time to gossip about Killer's dumbass.

On really really rare occasions, he'll vent about his past, about the guilt he feels about his actions.

Killer

Another one to be influenced by him.

Nightmare doesn't let you near killer without supervision, that's a big no no.

He doesn't want to wake up hearing laughter with his face painted with permanent marker again.

Killer likes having someone around, especially because you can

He finds it cute when you try to protect him, you're not even to his waist! How are you going to fight a fucking god like dream?

Well, his jaw is on the ground now. "HOLY SHIT NIGHTMARE WHAT KIND OF POWERS DOES THIS KID HAVE???"

Yep, he's bringing you in missions now.

Also Killer named a cat after you.

Ted

The fact that you need to be healthy to be able to regenerate is the perfect excuse for him to cook more food.

He repays you when you heal him he makes your favorite dessert.

Ted thinks you're too naive and innocent for battle, and gets pretty annoyed every time you go in missions with them.

Even knowing you can regenerate and defend yourself it still keeps him worried, what if you run out of energy?

Also blames Killer for any scratch you get, he's the one who made you go with them so he's the one to blame.

He's the one who's with you almost 24/7, acts like an actual big brother, may even apresent you to his Papyrus.

When you defend him in an argument, he feels so fucking special, no he doesn't have tears on his eyes you're just hallucinating.

[nopekaat]

✨The Witcher 4 Trailer Spoilers ! ✨

First of all : OH MY GOOODD IM SO HAPPY IT WAS THE BEST WAY TO WOKE UP ???? I was sleeping when my partner just whispered in my ears "the witcher 4's trailer is out." ??? Loved it :'))) But now let's talk about what happens in it ?

(books spoilers included !!) Ciri being the main character is awesome and I'm impatient to play as her and more importantly, having her BACK as the main character she ALWAYS have been. Despite loving Geralt with my whole heart, the witcher saga always have been about ciri AND her parents (Geralt + Yennefer). I always felt like it was logical to start the story with the parents and then the child ? it is an easy way to write a story but also the more logical (in my mind at least). So having CDprojekt do the same as the books is not surprising. If you loo closely, the games ALWAYS follow a similar storyline of the book saga... and that's why the games work so well ! Some people in the Youtube comments section where talking about the lore accuracy and how some stuff is not possible. Well, it is lie 25 to 30 % book accurate when it comes to magic spell and the "ability to drink potions" stuff has already been suggested or shown in the Witcher 3.

Magic spell : Yennefer did teach her all the basic spells in the books when they both live at Melitele Temple. We read about ciri using them (or trying too, let the girl learn) + she uses magic again to save Ihuarraqua + at the end of the saga, she was supposed to enter the Lodge, only powerful sorcereress can enter (as far as I know) ! The thing is : we do not see her use it (except the elder blood one) in the witcher 3 so i get that most of the time we forget that ciri is a witcher AND a sorceress. In the game, it is only adressed one time and it's in a punch Avallac'h make to Yennefer at Kaer Morhen about how little her teaching about magic was... We also know without actually seeing it that Avallac'h teach her magic the whole time they were together.... so seeing her using it in the trailer is NO SURPRISE but more like FINALLY hhhhh

"Ciri drining potions ?" : It is very small but (!) at the end of the Blood&Wine DLC, if Geralt doesn't end up with Yen or Triss, Ciri comes to see him at Corvo Bianco. They then talk about stuff and she happened to explain she succeeded in killing a vampire by drinking a black blood potion (I played in french and its Sang Noir for me so I don't know if it's the right name for the potion in english)... So at the end END of the 3rd game it is suggested that ciri can indeed consume witcher's potions. And I feel like we will finally get our answers in the next game :'))) and that's fantastic.

To conclude : I feel like this trailer is no surprise AT ALL, for having read the books and played the 3rdgame (3 times at 100%... I have no social life) , the next game just feels like the normal following of everything. Even if Ciri getting the trials of glass and having the cat eyes seems more like "the gamer wishes" than book accuracy (???) well who cares, the games definitely aren't 100% Book lore accurate to start with so.... but it didn't forbid us to have fun and experienced one of the best games ever, so who cares in the end hehe CDPR just kind of suggested all of it before in my eyes hhh I just hope the next one is going to be as wonderful as the others :) CDprojekt writing and world building are crazy, very humanness and deeps, i'm so impatient omg Sorry for my english by the way. I just wanted to vent somewhere so don't take my words as craved ones in the stones tho hhh 😭

[icycoldninja]

Thank you so much for doing my first request!! I love your writing, alot!! if your requests are still open, can i have another request?

Basically the sparda boys + v with therapist!reader because they need therapy! Also reader is secretly a billionaireso reader pays the bills in the devil may cry office, spoils them with the sutff they like and always checks on them, telling them that they can let their feelings out, like a therapist !!

if your requests are closed, you can delete this <3

Thanks so much!! Don't worry, requests are still open. Enjoy!

Sparda boys + V x Therapist!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante's the definition of "but I'm fine" after talking for 2 hours.

-Expect him to be very moody and sulky during therapy cause he's not used to venting on such a personal level before.

-His jokes get progressively lamer as each layer of trauma is shed, eventually revealing himself as the sad, broken man he really is.

-Is very surprised when all his bills magically get paid by an anonymous person who keeps sending him money and pizza to Devil May Cry every week.

-Never realizes you are his mysterious benefactor but he appreciates what is being done for him and doesn't hesitate to tell you all about his secret caregiver. It makes your day to hear how happy you make him.

-He slowly becomes more comfortable with talking his feelings out, and once that happens, he becomes an unstoppable chatterbox.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil hates the very idea of therapy because he believes he is a MOTIVATED individual who is independent enough to handle his inner issues on his own.

-However, you're very persistent and manage to get him to sit down for a session, much to his reluctance.

-You're oddly kind to him and listen to all his troubles with an open mind--something he's not used to. Though at first he is very cagey about everything, Vergil gladly warms up to you and confesses his deeper secrets.

-He finds it very odd that a secret benefactor has just started sending him presents and money only a few days after he began seeing you as his therapist. It could be a coincidence, but then...maybe not.

-Although he wants to know who is sending him gifts, he decides to just let his mysterious benefactor run their course and not spoil their intentions. Who knows, they might reveal themselves someday.

-Starts writing thank-you notes and leaves them out on the doorstep for you to find.

□ Nero □

-Nero is against therapy for personal reasons. He thinks he alone should know all his secrets and issues, and that he alone should deal with them. He doesn't need outsiders meddling in his affairs.

-He demonstrates his dislike for therapy by being the most rebellious, recalcitrant jerk to have ever walked into your office.

-He talks back to you almost all the time, is extremely rude, and once stole a set of ballpoint pens from your desk because he didn't like how you were jotting down everything he said.

-When he finds random gifts and things being sent to him, as well as his bills being mysteriously paid, Nero gets very suspicious. We're you giving away his address to stalkers?

-Slowly, Nero realizes that his mysterious benefactor is only looking out for him and supporting him, though for what reasons, he has no idea.

-He's grateful for all this help, but still a little wary. He doesn't trust you yet, but maybe with time, he will someday.

● V ●

-V is probably the only one here who actually agrees with the idea of therapy.

-He was a little nervous at first, but seeing how warm and welcoming you are to him relaxes him a lot.

-He's shy and doesn't say all that much at first, but over time, you manage to coax him into speaking to you more.

-He is pleasantly surprised when gifts and bits of money start appearing at his doorstep nearly every day, because last he checked, he didn't have a steady job.

-He can't figure out who's doing this, but he's grateful all the same. He'd love to meet whoever's behind this and thank them for their generosity.

-V's taken up baking treats and leaving them on the doorstep in cute boxes as a way to thank his unseen gift giver.

[zhongrin]

🎁 ᴢʜᴏɴɢʀɪɴ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 ᴡʀᴀᴘᴘᴇᴅ 🫶🏻

ー just a little thing i wanted to make as the year ends 💗

𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐇𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐲 💍

① 👑 zhongli 👑 ✼ best husband, best comfort f/o, best everything. my ultimate blorbo 🧡

② al haitham 🌱 & wriothesley 🐾 ✼ he's such a silly guy. i love him so much. ✼ who's a good puppy! who's the goodest boy! yes you areeee~! <3

ⓧ runner up // neuvillette 🦦 ✼ his en voice almost made me simp. almost. damn you ray chase /lh

𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 🎶

ー✼ the ebg back in february and october! so so so so much chaos fun! both took all the creative juices and sleep i had, but it was all so worth it! i got to connect with more people and interactions were off the charts for the whole week. and coviello... my precious babie <3 i'm pretty sure i'll join another ebg next year given the opportunity.... or perhaps even host one, but with a twist-

ー✼ got matched up T W I C E (well, thrice in total) with mr. i am here's alternate universe selves al haitham. thanks @/ansy-tea / @/kopidense 👍🏻 i shall endeavor to make an effort to discombobulate and fool the silly sprout man in 2024 if there are any other matchup events open lmao

ー✼ teyvatweets! it was so much fun compiling everyone's tweets and coding the website hehe it didn't really blow up or anything due to how 'personal' that project was, but i think about it from time to time. such a fun lil thing!

ー✼ that 1 pity c0 al haitham who came right after ayato.... thanks dad for gracing me with your birthday luck 🙏🏻

ー✼ finally treating myself and indulging in all the selfship commissions. i'm grateful i have the ability to indulge and i'm hoping to do the same next year. and the way everyone just gifted me things for my birthday made me feel so so loved. i couldn't celebrate it with anyone since i wasn't at home, and it was on a weekday meaning my friends were all busy - so it felt like a mini-party... truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much ;w;

ー✼ personally, i'm super happy and kind of proud of getting very comfortable with sharing my art and improving on it! i used to go back and forth whenever i'm trying to post art, but now i'm confident enough to not think too much about it! naturally i have lots to improve and i'm nowhere near 'good' but that's fine with me! i owe it all to yall's support and lovely comments <3

ー✼ all the anon drabbles and charanons!!!! always such a nice sight to wake up to. they're like surprise gifts whenever i open tumblr because i don't have notifications on, and i adore them so much! big big big shoutout to @/floraldresvi, @/crystalflygeo, and @/soleillunne yall are amazing ;w;

ー✼ all the super sweet messages all of you left in my christmas tree.... i'm cradling all the wishes and silliness and messages from my f/os so close to my heart!! ceo!haitham tho. bruh you're still making me work LEAVE ME ALONE- /silly

ー✼ that zhongli birthday celebration series... they're not much, and even with all posts combined they have way less notes than a random vent drabble i dropped in the middle of it lol but i had lots of fun writing, designing, and inserting all the 'golden threads' across the fics nonetheless!! i'll highlight them later so the people who have been following the little series can go 'OH' lol

𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 🫂

@ainescribe ❀ @silentmoths ❀ @crystalflygeo ❀ @moraxsthrone ❀ @floraldresvi ❀ @sheepmc ❀ @zhxngii ❀ @localplaguenurse ❀ @mysnowmanandmebaby ❀ @the-travelling-witch ❀ @watatsumiis ❀ @kurikurikurisu ❀ @leftdestiny-posts ❀ @kaeffeinee ❀ @queen-belial ❀ @abyssmal-skies ❀ @dawndelion-winery ❀ @yinyinggie ❀ @silkjade ❀ @dustofthedailylife ❀ @scarasmood

@euniveve ❀ @soleillunne ❀ @faesther ❀ @ansy-tea ❀ @vennnnn-diagram ❀ @navxry ❀ @celestetalkstoomuch ❀ @minhosairfryer ❀ @xeraeus ❀ @pearlywritings ❀ @ryuryuryuyurboat ❀ @mochinon-yah ❀ @asoulsreverie ❀ @xiaosonlybeloved ❀ @mooncreates ❀ @jingyuansbird ❀ @tearskillstardust

i love you all and i'm so so glad to have made a connection with you! be it knowing each other from mutual friends, from a drawing/writing commission, or even if we just stumbled onto each other randomly by pure chance - know that i appreciate you! every single one of you are so talented and so wonderful. thank you for being the threads that shaped the comfy sweater that is 2023 for me <3 ps. and for my former moots who are minors but have respected my boundaries, i'm sorry i didn't tag you but i had fun befriending you lot. my best wishes for you in the years ahead too! pps. some of you might know me from my main @/meimeimeirin instead! i separated the list into 2 paragraphs bc tumblr isn't letting me have that many texts in one block apparently hsldfjsd also, if you're not in the list i either 1) forgot, bc i have the memory of a goldfish, or 2) remembered, but felt like it would be intrusive for me to tag you <- (more likely tbh) 😔

@/jjovin3221, @/starffox, @/syrenkitsune, @/finleyrambles, @/dr-birb, @/smokipoki, @/1117sblog, @/virdiaura, @/lawnfei, @/lady-alexis-salt, @/local-ragamuffin, @/the-knaves-world, @/alhaithams-fanfic-stash, @/interpretpages, @/magicalink, @/starlingcore, @/lyralibra, @/crazyrichdaughter, @/winterhuntsman, @/ladycoleigh, @/bettybeako

ALSO, HUGE SHOUTOUT to the people who frequent my notifs. i can't remember most of yall's handles accurately (and for some of you i remember by your pfp instead hskdhskd) but whenever your username pops up, know that i always go "!!!!!" and my imaginative dog ears perks up and my metaphorical tail just starts thumping on the floor <3 thank you so much for your continuous support!! (and i know some of you wrote in my tree so thank you for that too hehe) note: that wasn't an exhaustive list, but more like the blogs i remember seeing a lot on top of my head!!

𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 🧡

thank you for such a lovely 2023! thank you for being here and for always supporting my works, my silliness, and myself as a person. here's to more fun shenanigans ahead, and i hope 2024 will be a year that makes us all a better person <3

ꕥ xmas dividers © cafekitsune

[todomitoukei]

Villain stan, I was already expecting an ending like Naruto's anime. Complete trash just for people that experience the story through fanon more than canon. Still, I feel robbed.

This is an anime about SUPERHEROES! What was the idea of finishing with the complete LoV dead or in jail? It would have costed nothing to put Toga, Spinner and Mr. Compress running amok, ready to avenge Twice, Magne, Shigaraki and Dabi. Marvel and DC never had a problem with having villains running free and getting ready for a next battle. An open ending that re-starts the circle as the hores need their villains.

Because Toga's death was bs, not only for being avoidable, but because the fans basically took the moment Ochake opened up about her grief towards Toga to make a DekuChako moment (Neji's death all over again >:v, the only difference is that this time it wasn't the Mangaka's intention to move a ship, but the fans decided to spit in Toga's death none the less).

And honestly, while every villain stan was "Dabi will live" I was "Gods, I hope he dies, because enything else will be a trash ending" and I WAS RIGHT! AT LEAST GIVE HIM THAT LAST SATISFACTION!

Also, Spinner just staying in jail like WHAT? Spinner was the villain who most respected and was the most loyal to Shigaraki, don't make him just write a book, MAKE HIM LEAD THE NEXT LEAGUE OF VILLAINS!

And of course, Endeavor and Hawks have no consecuences for their actions, everything just forgiven, even by the victims. Honestly, I was always in the posture of LoV as family >>>> Todofam, so I wasn't expecting Dabi's end to be more than a "We did it, we stopped Dabi. Now we are free of the past and move on, even if Dabi honestly can't" and this is one of the few times I hate to be right.

(Sorry for the venting, thank you for putting this space to talk about it.)

No need to apologize <3

You're so right about Toga's death immediately being used for different characters having a moment instead of, you know, focusing on her. I'm not sure if this manga could pass the Bechdel test.

That really is why the ending is so bad - the villains seem to not have left as much of a mark as they should've, the fact that the hero ranking system continues being in place is proof of that. You would think that society at the very least realized that treating heroes like celebrities was problematic, and yet nothing about that part of the system changed.

To be honest, I'm surprised they even let Spinner write and publish his book rather than seeing this as some kind of propaganda or safety risk. Remember how early on in the story when those Stain videos came out? It's surprising then that they let Spinner do this.

An ending that suggests the cycle starts again would've been interesting, but remember, Hori went for a "happy" ending

Hori was clearly in over his head writing a story that he ultimately was incapable of writing. The story had so much potential, yet here we are with a story that eventually decided to have nothing change.

I think the Todofam would be great, but I've always been of the opinion that it could never work with Endvr around, which is clear when you look at the Todofam finale where they are all supposedly eager to talk to Touya, only for none of them to say anything beyond that except for Endvr, who also ultimately says nothing other than how much of a victim he is. Boohoo.

Yeah, we were right. But at what cost...

[ca-suffit]

Sam-reid reblogging posts from nalyra and accusing marius haters of having "surface level takes" is rich. She ignores everything about this blog (your blog which I love!) and deems to punish viewers for not being comfortable with a known pedophile rapist in a book. It's blogs like hers which make me glad to my bones that I'm not part of this fandom any longer. I get chills from the absolute hatred radiating from users like her and nalyra and oh the reciepts you posted about formerly Neilcfreak? I felt sick reading how she lashed out at that black fan who tried to explain to her about A03 and its policies. But sam-reid is a special brand of ignorance and cold indifference towards black fans and fans who have problems with certain areas of the books. She looks down on anyone who doesn't love every word of the books. If she's ok with grooming and rape more power to her; but she so arrogantly asserts that the ONLY reason someone might have problems with topics of RAPE AND GROOMING esp through a lens of pedophilia is because of surface level takes?!

Yikes. BIG YIKES. How someone can be so SURFACE LEVEL IGNORANT is frightening.

She seems to think only in fictional world terms because in the real world, rape happens frequently. Grooming happens daily. So for her to assert that the ONLY reason someone might have issues with a character is because of SURFACE LEVEL TAKES speaks volumes of what kind of human being she is.

Marius triggers victims of rape and grooming for very real reasons, as fiction tends to do, as reading tends to do. That's why we read, and that's why fiction affects us so DEEPLY. So while insensitive and callous racists like sam-reid use SURFACE LEVEL reasons to judge us, the rest of us will be over here, avoiding surface level jerks like sam-reid, on your blog as a safe place. ❤

hi and thank u for ur comment<3

Let me repost a link to the neilcfreak / gorrei / rei thing in case anyone needs to know the context, bcuz this is an important thing to know for ppl engaging with her. This just happened in 2023.

Anyway, I'm glad it feels safe here. I'm always happy to talk about this stuff or let ppl vent about it. The books *are* v triggering and most of the fandom will not talk about it, which doesn't help anyone tbh.

I'm gonna answer most of this under a cut bcuz of the topics, but let me clarify some stuff first. Anyone mentioned here is mentioned for a reason. There's been a real increase on complaints about sam-reid lately, so I hope she's rly paying attention and not just thinking everyone is saying this for no reason. Ppl get harmed when u have a big voice in the fandom and u say things like this and turn ppl against others who are more vulnerable than u, especially when it comes to real trauma issues? I'm gonna get into this more under the cut but just to clarify that this isn't some silly thing or personal bitching about someone for no reason. I don't have any thoughts about sam-reid as a person, idk them beyond posts here. But this same attitude is across all of the big fandom ppl and it trickles down to hurting everyone, which is a big reason why this account is even here.

(I posted these screenshots smaller together but they won't save like that so sry they post long like this)

I'd also like to say that monstersinthecosmos runs with the og white woman fandom bullies from before the show aired. The fact that the same usernames show up supporting each other all the time is never surprising tbh.

Anyway TW for trauma, CSA, abuse

Everyone handles trauma differently, so a lot of what I've seen from the fandom over the years is ppl who handle it like this ^^ insisting it's the only "correct" way bcuz they can't look at it any other way, yet or maybe ever. Since Marius is so tied to childhood sexual abuse, it's always made sense bcuz a) a lot of ppl read these books as kids and b) Anne Rice wrote things in a way that romanticizes abuse. If u have never looked at the characters and/or ur own abuse as an adult, then here we are. Everything is fiction, everything is fun, nothing needs to be "real." Bcuz abused kids disconnect from abuse that same way. Some ppl stay there forever.

I'm not shaming that either. U can't dictate how ppl move thru abuse and trauma. We all do what we do. Everyone who comes into the IWTV / VC stories however it happens prbly comes from trauma. It just sucks that Anne Rice inspired such a dogshit view of the world in ppl that a group that's already ripe for infighting (traumatized ppl) gets made worse bcuz she taught everyone to be loud and wrong and then louder and more wrong. Don't ever look at ur own actions, just shout ppl down!!

The reason ppl tend to dislike book ppl is bcuz nothing is ever discussed. There's this simultaneous mindset of "I'm v smart" but also "I'm never gonna talk in depth about anything." Everyone can see this but u can't ever get *them* to see it. Conversations are impossible. Then they constantly talk down on others like this to keep everything hostile. They have to be "right," so playing up as if their perspective is the only true one and acting as if criticism of Anne Rice or the books is "so mean" bcuz of misogyny or ppl lacking media literacy or "don't they know they're all monsters lol" is the only thing they know how to do.

Traumatized ppl don't like to feel stupid, ignored, and dismissed. These big voices don't come from nothing. A lot of the vampires in the books reflect real responses to trauma, both in their personalities and how they move around each other. We also reflect that. I wish ppl could learn from that more. Unfortunately, we're prbly always gonna be in two camps about it. That's why this fandom tends to remain small no matter how big anything gets. Those who want to speak more on these themes and explore abuse tend to leave, or at least leave a lot of public spaces, bcuz these ppl have set up to always take in new recruits and bully ppl in groups. They're a small number of fans tbh, in all reality, they just look bigger bcuz they work together to build that illusion. They don't individually have the strength to get attention on their own so they gather together to reference each other a lot, recommend each other to whoever (which has now extended to cast and crew as well), and get in more spaces. Then they get to feel more "important" and soothe all the childhood trauma of nobody noticing them then, but doesn't everyone notice them now? Except look at what u did to get there. They don't care tho, everyone they've stepped over is just a "hater" or w/e.

This is why it's crucial to examine these characters and then reflect on urself too and ask if maybe ur the fucking villain sometimes. The answer will surprise u!

[drgrlfriend]

Author Ask Meme

I was tagged by @bittercape.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

61 works

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

1,124,553 (June 2, 2024)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I am a serial OTP-er. I started with Wolverine/Rogue (X-Men), jumped to Johnlock (BBC Sherlock), to Sterek (Teen Wolf), to 00Q (James Bond), and am currently in Winterhawk (Marvel). Usually I get sucked into a new fandom by following a favorite author. I also read quite a lot in The Witcher fandom but haven't made the jump to writing (yet?).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Windows (Sterek), Layover (Sterek), Quriosity (00Q), Hide (Sterek), and I'm Game (A Very Craigslist Thanksgiving) (Sterek). Sterek is just a huge fandom, but interestingly one of my X-Men fic used to be one of the most popular fics on FFN, so that has given me perspective about how it's not necessarily all about the fic but rather some magic combination of fandom and tropes and web audience and luck as to which fics really catch fire.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to, but if I'm actively writing a fic I get behind because if I'm on the computer with spare time I want to be writing instead. Then it gets overwhelming. :-(

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Happy endings always! I guess the closest would be My Heart Will Be Your Home because the epilogue / last scene is less about the Winterhawk happy ending and more about Clint coming to terms with the failure of his first marriage and Phil Coulson's death. [insert "growth gif" here]

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, I really only have happy endings. Hmmm. In this time of trouble, I'll put in a plug for For Everything There Is a Season, my Four Seasons Total Landscaping fic, because it ends with the world being safe from Trum-- I mean Pierce. ;-)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

For how much I write some sensitive stuff I surprisingly don't! In particular the Four Seasons Total Landscaping fic I was worried would attract some rabid Trump fans to hate on me but so far so good. I have had people be really rude about my characterizations at times, or occasional plot decisions, but I've been getting better about deleting and forgetting (after I vent to a fandom friend or two of course).

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

I write smut for sure! All kinds, kinda, except not maybe what would be considered hard kink. In particular pain or knifeplay or whatever holds no attraction.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

I just wrote my first crossover! Jason Todd has crept into our hearts thanks largely to @thepartyresponsible and I just wrote two Winterhawkhood fics -- one extremely smutty (Finders Keepers) and one that's T-rated with just OTP3 implied (First Glance) so something for everyone. :-)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, although I wouldn't be surprised, especially for my one Sterek fic that's gone "viral." I did weirdly have someone reach out and ask if they could copy a whole section of my fic into theirs (I had a very well-researched series of deductions from Sherlock as to how John was injured in Afghanistan). Nice that they asked, I guess, but I was like -- "... no?"

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! People have been amazing with translations. I can't imagine the dedication it takes to translate some of my longer fics. A lot of times people start and then life happens and they don't finish, so I'm not always sure which ones make it to the end, but I know I've had requests to translate into Spanish, Mandarin, Russian,

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I did a Winterhawk Round Robin thing {You and Me (Telepathy)} where each of us wrote our parts in a serial fashion. I wouldn't call it co-writing, though because it was deliberately kind of non-collaborative (e.g. an "exquisite corpse" exercise). Probably the closest I've come to that is when my amazing beta, @kangofu-cb bails me out with an awesome suggestion!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Whoa, ask me to pick a favorite child why doncha? ;-) I will put a plug in for 00Q, though -- I wasn't in that ship for a very long time but there is so much latitude to play with Q, who at the time I was in the fandom only had like ten minutes total of screentime, as well re-imagining some of the James Bond toxic masculinity tropes. And Quriosity is still one of my all-time favorite fics, and the first fic I think in which I really abandoned the "big bad is defeated in the third act" structure and made it purely about relationship development.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I usually write one fic at a time start-to-finish so my "WIPs" are more daydreams than actual fics-in-progress. I did write a few chapters of a fic with night-shift homicide detective Derek and magical Stiles that had more of an Enemies to Friends to Lovers structure but I don't think it will see the light of day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmmm. I have the patience to persist with a long fic even if most of them take me a year or more each with the limited free time I have -- I don't typically lose interest or give up (please don't let me jinx myself).

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably a lot, but keeping things short and evocative is definitely one of them. Sometimes I'll read a fic that seems like a longfic crammed into 2000 words and I don't know *how* people do it. I have a lot of trouble with timeskipping or skipping unnecessary actions/conversations. Getting better at it, I hope. At least I'm not making sure my characters eat three meals a day on the page anymore. ;-)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Hell on earth. I have one fic where German readers are arguing endlessly in the comments about my word choice for endearments and insults and every time I changed it one way the next person would tell me to change it the other way. I finally gave up on reaching a consensus. I feel more comfortable writing ASL, because I have some background in that, as well as French, Spanish, and Italian which I learned at various points in school.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

X-Men (Wolverine/Rogue). Was sucked in by a fic that ended in a very ambivalent point and (extremely rudely) wrote my own ending to it and sent it to the author. Geez, I am so lucky they responded kindly! I was so new to fandom I had no clue.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Again like asking me to pick a child, but I'll put a plug in for Freedom's Reach. It's a Winterhawk set in the American West post-Civil War (e.g. the real American Civil War, not the Marvel one). It took a lot of research and that younger, more naive Clint (I call him Gosh!Clint Barton) holds a special place in my heart. It also let me explore something I'm realizing is a bit of a "this better not awaken anything in me" scenario, which is setting up a relationship dynamic that is inherently uneven and then making sure the person in the position of power is scrupulous about not taking advantage of that dynamic. Weirdly specific, but you learn something about yourself all the time!

Tagging -- oh, shoot, I don't remember who bitter tagged so I'll throw in @kangofu-cb, @pantstomatch, @noxnthea, and anyone else who wants to do this!

[rubykgrant]

Omg I totally wanna see more random rvb ships. Gonna make a spinner for this. *spins spinner with tons of rvb names* ok we got some weird ones here, we got Biff and Doc for 1, Sheila and Volleyball for 2, 479er and Donur for 3, and Grey and Maine for 4.

PFFF if Biff came back and just did NOT want anything to do with Temple, that would kick-off a whole other murder-spree. Sheila deserves to have some dating fun too~

Honestly other potential relationship stuff that I'm not exactly "invested in", but still find interesting, are-

-Church and Locus; a guy with a short fuse and a BIG mouth... except Church doesn't get all stabby about it. That might be setting the bar VERY low, but Locus has some self-esteem issues, and this is actually a HUGE improvement. Also, the thing with Church is... he acts very mean to deflect and deny how much he cares, but once he's comfortable with showing it, he's capable of being very soft. Also, when Church is complaining about this-or-that, Locus will occasionally make a comment, maybe even that casually mocks Church (Locus only makes jokes on rare occasions, so each one is treated like a big deal). Church will stop ranting, walk over, sit in Locus' lap and just say- "Hey. That was funny"

-somehow, all the Orange-Reds (Turf, Drag, Morgan, Sue, Peake, Santos) survived that explosion (maybe they actually DID get thrown into the future), and after getting used to Reds and Blues not hating each other, they all get a different kind of crush on Donut. At first Donut is oblivious, then he finally figures it out, and he's VERY surprised and flustered. Oh, but also intrigued? This doesn't necessarily need to turn into any steady relationships, but perhaps they can still enjoy themselves. Donut mentions to his own Red Team "I think I could take them all"/"You mean in a fight? Or in bed?"/"YES". Also, Cherry is here; happy polyam relationship with her, Sheila, and Lopez~

-speaking of people not dying; Sharkface and Carolina would be SUCH an interesting dynamic. I've played around with a few scenarios in which he survives, but they all usually turn into him getting on Red Team, and being part of the merry band of goobers... as for him and Carolina finally getting together, it would take a while to even be on friendly terms, because they're both so INTENSE. I think to add an extra layer of humor to this, for some reason nobody understands, Sharkface just decides to hang out with Simmons a lot (he likes how Simmons actually has a little mean-streak, and Simmons now has a cool scary punk guy in his corner, so the power goes to his head). Grif is giving Carolina "chill lessons", and Simmons is sharing ideas on how to VENT FRUSTRATION that don't involve murder with Sharkface. Him and Carolina still clash, but now it is more of a friendly-rivalry kind of thing. It would take a while to get on more friendly terms, but once they do, things would get passionate pretty easily~

[exy-shmexy]

Top 5 vs Personal 5

List your top 5 fics ranked by kudos on AO3. are you surprised by what's most popular to your readers? then provide your ranking of your personal top 5 fics, and tag a few fellow writers!

Thank you so much for the tag @fortheloveofexy <3

Tagging @halfpintpeach @brokenpinetree @desolatebee

One thing I want to say first is that I am so grateful for all the friends I have made thanks to all these fics. I have met some incredible people who supported me and offered me much-needed feedback when I needed it most so to each of you, thank you for absolutely everything.

TOP 5 (by Kudos)

Patchwork (2.3k, Andreil)

In this one, Andrew lets a bored Neil doodle on his legs, then decides to keep a permanent trace of it. I'm not gonna lie, I'm very surprised this is my number one. I love it dearly, mostly because it's basically just fluff and I'm a massive sucker for fluffy fics, but the fact it's ranking so high is funny to me. It's a little guy, but one I was very happy with in the end.

2. Of Detention and Passing Notes (7.2k, Andreil)

This one started off as a very silly tweet I posted about a High School AU where Neil meets Andrew in detention and bugs him by tossing paper notes on his desk. I had an absolute blast writing it! It's one of my first long-ish one shots so I was very happy with it at the time. Also I had to ask several people about actually getting into detention because I was too scared to get in trouble back in my high school days.

3. On The Road (1.8k, Andreil)

This is basically Neil getting horny while the team is on their way to an away game. I uh don't know what madness took over my brain for this one but you know what? It was fun to write c:

4. Let Our Hearts Do Their Part (8.1k, Andreil)

This... is not what it was originally supposed to be lmao I'm happy with it, but my brain kinda decided to go in a completely different direction than what I originally wanted, which is fine! Sometimes you have a plan but then along the way your idea strays away from it and another sprouts in its place.

5. As It Was (3k, Andreil)

Oof that's the very first fic I wrote for AFTG. It's a sick fic in which Neil gets the flu, is stubborn about it, so Andrew comes back to PSU to take care of him. I really like it, still now. I was sick myself when I wrote it and pretty mad about it so that was a good way to vent lol

PERSONAL 5

Paw and Order (ongoing currently 22k, Andreil)

This is probably the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written. This Cat Cafe AU has my entire heart, I absolutely love it and it is just so comforting to write. I have two chapters left to write for it and I'm excited to mark it as completed when the time comes for it although I will probably be sad about it because I just seriously love this silly thing so much.

TW for the paragraph below: mental health, depression, loneliness

Since this post is about being open about your writing, I have to admit that the first two chapters are very heavy on the angst because I was in a similar kind of mood as Andrew is in the beginning of this fic. I tend to get very lost in my own head, and it usually ends up in me feeling very lonely because my brain is great like that. Being able to project on Andrew (sorry my guy) was very helpful at the time. Me being me though, the next chapters get fluffier because even though I try to pretend that I'm a tough emo person, I'm secretly a softie but don't tell anyone. So yeah, this AU will forever have my heart.

2. Querencia (11k, Andreil)

Aw man okay another one I loved working on. To no one's surprise, this is also a very fluffy boy. Neil and Andrew go on a road trip together. This fic has a special place in my heart too for lots of reasons.

3. Snow Angels (1.6k, Aaron)

Listen, we've barely had snow over here. One morning I saw that one video of a dad teaching his kid how to do snow angels, and my brain ran with the idea. It's centered around Aaron because I just know he is the most amazing dad to his twin daughters. Also, they have a puppy.

4. Le Corbeau et le Renard (ongoing currently 40k, all the Foxes)

Basically everything is the same except Ichirou forces Jean to join the Foxes instead of the Trojans after TKM. I have SUCH a love-hate relationship with this fic. I think I was onto something when the idea popped into my brain, but as soon as I sit down to write it my brain just turns off. I like writing about Jean and his relationship with the Foxes, also all the tiny subplots sprinkled in-between, but sometimes I think I was perhaps a bit too ambitious.

Anyway, all of this to say I need to tame this beast and get back to it after I'm done with Paw and Order.

5. Licorice (1k, Andreil)

It's kinda funny because now that I thought about Patchwork again, these two have very similar vibes. I guess I just have a thing for Andreil, being alone in their dorm and some non-sexual intimacy.

[shadymissionary]

Hi, I feel like rambling here for a bit. I have a kinda life-changing conversation coming up tonight that I'm both extremely excited and extremely anxious about.

My partner and I have more or less been in a polyamorous relationship with our two close friends for...idk, 3 years? We've been getting very close with them over the years, and now that we all live in the same city and see each other frequently, it's almost always on my mind. And polyamory can be scary and confusing!! There is almost no framework for it that we learn about growing up, like with monogamous relationships, and so it feels a lot harder to navigate all of the questions and uncertainties.

Circumstances could not have lined up more perfectly to have this conversation though, so I'm feeling good about things. And it's just going to be an enormous relief to be open and honest with my friends about things that I've been holding in for years.

These two are so important to me, I love them so much they're like family, and I've felt so insecure about speaking up about certain things due to the fear of their reactions and potentially damaging our relationship. But I know they love me too and will be completely understanding.

I'm so happy to have an amazing partner that has listened to me vent about this stuff for years now, and his support feels like the one thing that has kept me sane. And I'm glad that I finally have the confidence and motivation to move through all of this uncertainty into a healthier relationship for all of us.

I've been doing a lot of work on myself lately, starting HRT, journaling, going back to therapy, reading mental health books, and listening to mental health podcasts. Last week I was listening to a lecture on Individuation, from Jungian psychology, and the concept of synchronicity was introduced to me. Basically, finding a connection between your own thoughts/desires and the things happening around you in the world. And to recognize when the universe is slapping you in the face telling you to do something.

I had an amazing therapy session yesterday and discussed the feelings I'm having, and how I finally feel ready to address them so I can move on from all this stress. But not knowing how best to find a time to talk about these things and get the conversation started has been the obstacle. I left the session knowing I had to reach out to the two I need to talk to and see if there's a time we could meet and chat. I even had a time limit on myself of getting this done before they host a Halloween party next weekend.

Lo and behold, just a few hours after yesterday's therapy session, I get a text from them asking us to come hang out tonight. Normally I would think up some reason not to, just wanting to chill at home on a Tuesday night, but it was so clear that the opportunity to talk was literally being handed to me. It makes me feel like the world is telling me to do this, and that it's gonna be okay.

I am going to cry so, so hard. But it's going to feel good to get it all off my chest. It's kinda scary, I've never cried in front of either of them that I can recall. So I know it's going to be a surprise that I've been holding all of these feelings in for years. More than anything, I just want the four of us to all be on the same page.

What's also kind of funny to me is like... in most respects, this should be a very easy step for me, but I've had to do so much to build my confidence in order to have this conversation. Earlier this month I came out as non-binary to my parents, and then soon after to my whole extended family. Like, that stuff should have been the hard part! And it was, don't get me wrong, but it didn't take nearly as much effort and crying as it has to prepare myself for tonight's conversation. The impossible task in my mind has been "open up about your feelings to your closest friends." And I'm certain now that I can do it, and that it will work out. ♥

This final dungeon music has been playing in my head all day as this conversation looms in the near future. Fitting that I just got to this point in Baten Kaitos last night hehe. I am gonna survive from that mf force!!

[a-complex-joke]

Manifestation and Rebounding

Chapter 4

MASTERLIST

Emily POV

We had started to walk back to the park, and there was now a nice banter between us pushing away any feelings of embarrassment or shame I might have had.

“Ok, what's up with your family? I told you my drama now you share. Why didn't you do Christmas with them? ” I asked, honestly I wonder what kind of people raised Brian, and if he is this hot how attractive are his siblings?

“Mmm, not much to say, I love my family. Sure I've had disagreements with them and none of them live in town but I'm not estranged or anything. And as for your second question, I was already supposed to go with Clara to her family's Christmas. My family is pretty wealthy and Clara’s family was also quite well off so it was no issue that we needed to travel to see them. But then I found her naked and cuddled up to one of my coworkers.” Brian said bitterly.

“That's terrible, why would she do that to you?”

“Well, she said that I was taking too long to propose. Part of me thinks she's right. Should I have done it right out of high school?” I don't think he was truly looking for an answer, just venting.

“To me, it seems more likely that this wasn't her first time cheating. Not to put that thought into your head. Say you hadn't found out and proposed later, do you really think she would stopped cheating” I was out of line, 8 mean I've only known this guy 3 days, and here I am giving him relationship advice.

“I know your right, I was gonna do it at Christmas. Pop the question. I mean how crazy is that? To think if I hadn't gone home early, this right here wouldn't be happening” he laughed sourly.

“How did you react when it happened?”

“At first I felt betrayed, then mad at them both, and then just mad at her. The guy had no clue she was in a relationship, let alone with me. I yelled and so did she. said she didn't need me to be happy, but I needed her. I almost thought about kicking her out but I just left. She texted and said she would get her stuff out of there” his eyes seemed glossed over as he spoke.

I hugged his arm, making him look down at me.

“You didn't deserve that. Just because she made a bad choice doesn't mean you're the cause. If she really wanted to be with you forever, she should have had a conversation with you and certainly wouldn't go and cheat. Sometimes we just love people who suck”

He had stopped walking just staring at each other's faces.

Taking in my words, I was surprised myself.

“Eh sorry shouldn't have grabbed onto you like that,” I said unlacing my arms from around his.

“Oh it's fine, warming me up in the chilly weather,” she said looking away to hide his blush.

I seemed the hear on my face grow hotter as well.

“Oh looks like we're also back at the park,” I said trying to change the subject.

“Yeah… I guess we are” he said seeming a bit sad.

“Sorry for bringing that up seems I spoiled the mood” I admitted.

“You didn't, it actually felt great to get it off my chest. I'm just bummed we can't hang out longer” he laughed.

His words made my heart skip. Sure we had said we would see where this relationship goes but in the back of my mind, I wanted dearly to grab his face and kiss him till one of us passes out.

“... Who says we can't” I turned away from him. “The day is young, we could drive over to the movie theater and see something” I offered.

This seemed to relight a spark of joy in him. 

“Ok let's do it! Do you want to drive separately and meet back up or drive together?”

“Let go together, though you might be annoyed with me by the end of the day” I laughed wrapping. 

Myself around his arm again. “Your driving through”

He seemed to have no problems with that.

“Holy moley, THIS is your car?” It was in utter shock, at the old school blue Mustang sat before me.

“Yeah? What you scared of it or something” he joked.

“No this is my like dream car right here” I jumped out of my boots.

“Well it's much cooler on the inside, so hope on in Suga,” Brian said putting on a funny voice.

I rushed to quickly get in the car hoping to hide my blushing face.

Was a pretty good driver, maybe it was the fact the car was older so he was more careful.

The radio played softly, just enough to make out that a song was playing at all.

I tried to focus on anything other than Brian.

I had noticed pretty soon after we left the way his bulge was pronounced as he sat in the car.

Lord imagine giving him road-head in this car, him waving at some rando on the street them unaware that im sucking his soul out of him.

“You quiet, something on your mind” my fantasy interrupted by the man in question.

“Oh n-no just spaced out sorry d-did you say something” I tried to play it cool.

“Just was asking, if there's any movies you wanted to see.”

“Oh I think that movie Bounty Drag seemed interesting” Brian raised an eyebrow not taking his eyes off the road. “It’s about this drag racer who’s down on his luck but after helping to catch a bank robber he realizes he wants to be a bounty hunter, combining his love for racing and justice” I explained.

“That could be fun, that's what we're gonna see?”

“I mean if you want im not picky” I am actually but not with movies.

Brian just smiled to himself.

[aghadbeenhere]

A Positive note!

AGHADBEENHERE'S UNNAMED BLOG: 6#

Heeey, everyone, sorry about last time, I think it was one of those late-time sad thoughts whenever you get tired and all, I don't think i plan on deleting it though, I think it's nice to keep it up there for everyone to see because it's just kinda.. You know, Humanizing.

I've seen a lotta things on the internet, and a lot of disregard for others, I think people really don't get that there is actual people behind the screen at times.

And it honestly surprises me with how much the internet has grown, it's sad that we've somehow de-evolutioned to a more chaotic state now that we can communicate with anybody anywhere in the world, and I honestly don't get it.

Maybe we're not responsible enough, maybe we're too dumb for this sort of power.

Maybe one day the entirety of the internet will go down, maybe it'll go down with this planet whenever we somehow fuck it up past redemption, hell if I know.

I'm not PRAYING for the downfall of the internet, nobody wants that, we have the entirety of human knowledge at our fingertips, just a few clicks away, and here we are totally disregarding it, I think that's kinda sad but it's just the way of life, and I shouldn't be SAD about what other people do or believe, you know?

But eh, whatever, back to the other point I was making.

I think seeing posts like that really can humanize people, sometimes we're feeling bad, we post those feelings out to get them out of our heads and it really brings to light the fact that we're not just the silly little guys behind the screen, we're actual people clicking on our keyboards to type these messages out, and I really like that, we shouldn't feel ashamed about venting on the internet, after all, there's enough space for everything and everyone here.

A part of me really wanted to clear that post and just keep going with the whole 'chill happy guy expressing thoughts' thing I had going, but I'm not even sure if I had it going to begin with, and I don't think I could put up a persona like that.

Sometimes I want to make a new account, an account where i'm all wholesome and sweet, kind to the world and spreading positivity.

But honestly I don't think I could do that, I feel too rash, too irresponsible, erratic, all those sortsa things, and those that know me, know that i could never really shape up to be a soft and kind person.

And I'm okay with that! Be who you want to be! But at times I really do feel like being a fuzzy little spot of joy on the internet at times could be great and all.. But it'd be fake, wouldn't really be me.

Maybe I'll grow softer, kinder, warmer, who the hell knows.

Life comes at you fast with moments like that, hopefully I'll get one to define me as a person.

I kinda feel like a genderless blob of black mass, I mean it's cool at times, but I can't really identify with anyone or anything, feeling more like a drifter through the fields where everyone else has taken a shape.

Here I am, a blob of black mass, forever changing.

But hey, if that's what I am, then I'm okay with it.

As always, happy to be here.

Your silly ol' pal, ag.

:3 <3 | 3: </3

-aghadbeenhere, 2024

[browniefox]

Crisis Core - The Nibelheim Mission

Alrighty, at long last I've gotten back to playing Crisis Core! And before we actually get to Nibelheim, we need to finish up saying goodbye to Aerith! Or, making her a flowercart, essentially the same thing. Also, another long one, so I added a break!

This games is just, it's so funny what it decides it needs to shove in here. 'Did you know that Zack actually named the bar Seventh Heaven, and that the guy who made it already knew it would have a secret room and be a base for terrorists'. Like, it's so funny but also c'mon, why'd ya do this?

Zack's little moments with Aerith are so nice. I think, you know, a more fleshed out game showing their relationship would be better, but they do have such a fun dynamic when they off each other, just this chemistry that is so likeable right away, at least for me.

Saying goodbye to my boyfriend Kunsel, who I'm sure I'll see again so so very soon ;-; I really love him. Again, like Aerith, i wish we could see more interactions with Zack and Kunsel, but you do still get the sense that these two are friends.

So, surprise surprise, I wish we got to see Zack interact with the Turks more. We've had a few interactions between Zack and the Turks - I think exactly three - and then we're told that he's hung out with them a lot since Angeal died. Still, i do like that we get to see Zack getting Tseng to more or less promise that he'll watch Aerith - not just for Shinra, but for Zack's own peace of mind.

The three flower carts <3 I love that Aerith loves the cute one, and Zack loves the cool one haha. And I just love the idea of Zack putting all of these together, trying to make Aerith happy. Even more, I want to imagine they actually built the later two together.

CLOUD SHORT LITTLE BABY BOY!!!! It's so weird to think that he's sixteen. In my mind, he's like 26 in FFVII and 21 here, because that's still pretty young but in my opinion a little more believable.

Can't believe they made Tifa stand so far back, she looks even shorter compared to the tall ass SOLDIERs! It's so weird to be that the climbing Nibelheim scene is just told through photos. I'm not even sure you can tell the bridge fell???

As good a place as ending to add I love that Sephiroth tells Zack he's considering of leaving Shinra. I think it goes with the trajectory of what's been going on that he's thinking about it, and to me Sephiroth specifically requesting Zack to come with him on this mission to me means he's hoping that Zack also leaves with him.

Weird way to ask someone if they're down to bang but whatever floats you boat.

For real, it's so funny that Genesis just kicks Zack and decides to have a moment with Sephiroth. He really is just flailing around trying to figure out something that is going to work. I don't think I totally hate him showing up here in concept, but the fact he reveals Sephiroth's true parentage like, a scene early, is just so weird and jarring and I do think I hate that.

I've been very vocal about hating how heavy handed the symbolism in this game is, but I do love this line and how it contextualizes further the connection between SOLDIERs and monsters and what makes one a monster, and also how Genesis is using this ongoing conversation to hit Sephiroth hard.

Tall Zack! They're fine, but thank's Tifa for taking care of Cloud.

I love most of this scene between the two, getting to talk about their anxieties, their fears, especially Zack getting to kind of vent to Cloud. Also I love Cloud's little pose. Zack's speech about being so frustrated and angry with the choices he's being forced to make, becoming disillusioned, I love it, but then the ending of the scene feels so weird, where Zack compliments the sword and Zack seems to have some revelation we don't?

I'M SORRY ZACK, YOU SEE A LIVING PERSON SLEEPING IN A COFFIN IN A LOCKED SECRET UNDERGROUND ROOM AND JUST DECIDE TO LEAVE HIM??? AND WHY DOESN'T HE HAVE A MODEL YOU COWARDS SHOW ME VINCENT!!

The montage of Sephiroth reading is one of my favorite things tbh, you really see him pacing and going a little crazy, I love it. I do *not* love how it throws you right into the Nibelheim fire???? The pacing of this whole section sucks ass.

Oh my god, how Tifa curls away from Zack in hate and in fear??? Brilliant stunning amazing, I love it.

And Sephiroth is going crazy! Sephiroth, who has lost so much, thinking that he's finally gained something, some kind of connection, that he's learned the answer to why he's had to go through so many bad things in his life, why he's so different. This game has definitely made me like him so much more.

FUCKIGN GET IT CLOUD HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH!

Being normal human, that had to have been so hard for him to life and fight Sephiroth, even just the few blows that he manages to land, but I love him getting this moment to finally act.

AND THEN HE OVER POWERS SEPHIROTH!

It is so importnat to me that Cloud, a normal human, managed to kill Sephiroth. That he's a normal guy, a regular joe, who killed him. It speaks to the power of all human people in the whole world of the game, in my opinion.

And Sephiroth, in his shock, doesn't even think to let go of his sword, like he can't even comprehend what is happening.

Seeing Cloud slide down the stairs tho was so fuckign funny.

I love that Zack's vision of Angeal shattering, those wings that mean freedom, was him shattering the glass and obtaining his own freedom. Beautiful, chef's kiss. I hope he killed that scientist.

Yay, Zack and his bestie Cloud! Watching Zack have to go through such lengths every step to get Cloud just out of the mansion gives you such a vivid picture of how hard the rest of it is going to be, getting Cloud to Midgar. He has to clear the way, then go back and drag Cloud through again. I don't even want to think about how hard getting Cloud up the ladder must have been.

He cares about him So Much. He doesn't even worry about himself, just tries to find a change of clothes for Cloud. Wonder what a First uniform is doing here, though. Maybe it was Zack's? I think in the original he slept in the mansion while Seph was going crazy in the basement. Also, Zack trying to get out of Nibelheim as people try to drag Cloud away??? Oh my god, so mean but also I love it? Again, Cloud is this dead weight right now, but leaving him behind isn't a choice, it's not something Zack ever considers.

Oh Cissnei, if only you had more screen time to I actually cared about this. I do love, though, that Zack is willing to kill her for his freedom. I mean he's not, like, excited about it or anything, but that he's fully accepted that Shinra and everyone associated with them is a threat to himself and Cloud, and he's not going to let anything happen to them again so long as he can help it. And god, how he jumps to Cloud's defense the second she sees him??? Everything I've ever wanted.

And then Cissnei, well, good move on your part for giving them a motorcycle. Why did she have a motocycle? We'll probably never find out, but still, thanks anyway.

Motorcycle boys! Further question on the motorcycle is why does it have a sidecare. My sister suggested that Tseng usually sits in the sidecar, which just makes me imagine him T-posing in the sidecar like Saionji does in Utena.

It really never ends with this fucking guy, huh. What has he been doing for the last five years??? That one of the things that's really bothering me is that so far we never get a sense of the passage of time. I mean, last we saw Genesis, he was dying. But I guess he wasn't dying too badly because it's been five years and he looks exactly the same. Personally, I feel like the Genesis stuff probably should have been wrapped up before Nibelheim, or have a better integration into the current time in the story.

Also fucked up what happened to the copy who ate Zack's hair. God, Genesis really doesn't view the copies as, like, people, does he? He's still searching for answers, but I'm not sure he's ever going to find what he's looking for at this point.

And somehow, we made it to Gongaga! I can't believe Zack didn't realize he was getting so close to home? Don't know what we're doing here, but maybe he'll run into his parents, so that's fun!

All in all, I have to say, this section of the game feels like we've lost the breaks. It's just going two miles a minute over here, and cutting out some stuff that I think should have been shown. It clearly expects you to have played the original game, and I don't think that's fair tbh. Oh well, at least it's still fun to play with friends and laugh at all of the terrible pacing issues and weird line reads.

[yobotica]

First Lines Meme

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

Tagged By: @desynchimminent

I find these extremely interesting because it would never occur to me to do this and it's fascinating the kind of patterns you can see. :) I'm kind of surprised I have more than 20 works, so I'll just go by the most recent 20 on AO3, newest to oldest. I write a lot of post-canon AU's so there may be spoilers below.

1. A Weary Soul Seeking an Echo // Titanfall 2 // WIP // Post-canon AU

It was only a week after BT... after the destruction of the Fold Weapon, that Commander Briggs asked Jack to look over the specs of available Titans.

2. Story of Seasons: Feather Valley // Assassin's Creed, Story of Seasons // 17.4k // Story of Seasons/Assassin's creed crossover

Shaun cursed as he heard the door to the little library jingle, signalling someone had come in.

3. Ghost // Assassin's Creed // 92.1k // Post-canon AU

By his best estimation, it took Desmond days to realize he wasn't actually dead.

4. Back to Those Old Familiar Places // Deus Ex: Human Revolution, Deus Ex: Mankind Divided // 5.2k // AU between games

When Adam was finally able to enter the vent and escape the rain pounding the rooftop he'd just been carefully crossing, he allowed himself a small sigh of relief.

5. The Cost of Living // Deus Ex: Human Revolution // 13.8k // Supernatural Elements AU (not the show, lol, werewolves & vampire AU)

Frank was on comms for Jensen, again.

6. Focus // Assassin's Creed // 3.4k // AU

"Stop doodling on my notes, Desmond," Shaun grumbled from the kitchen, and Desmond grinned at him, even though Shaun hadn't even bothered to look up from his laptop to send a glare his way.

7. Discovery // Assassin's Creed // 3.5k // Post-canon AU

The cabin safe house was exactly what they'd needed.

8. Departure // Assassin's Creed // 666 // canon-compliant

"Hey, Desmond. I'm sorry it took so long," Shaun said, not really daring to look down yet.

9. Denial // Assassin's Creed // 1.2k // canon-compliant

He never got to apologize.

10. Dynasty // Assassin's Creed // 1.8k // AU - canon divergent

It was strange, Desmond thought, that even though he'd been gone for over ten years, the scenery as they approached the farm slowly became familiar.

11. Durable // Assassin's Creed // 7.2k // AU - Period swap

Shaun was concentrating on the ledger in front of him.

12. Decay // Assassin's Creed // 1.5k // canon-compliant

Shaun knew he hadn't been nice to the new guy.

13. Declaration // Assassin's Creed // 3.1k // canon-compliant

Shaun hated getting a new phone.

14. Dream // Assassin's Creed // 1.2k // canon-compliant

Desmond groaned as he rolled out of the Animus chair.

15. All it Takes is Once // Deus Ex: Human Revolution // 1.4k // AU post-game

Pritchard wasn't exactly a saint.

16. Resolutions // Assassin's Creed // 1k // AU

"Alright, I'm choosing to believe that you're taking this seriously, despite evidence to the contrary," Shaun stated imperiously, raising a brow at the single index card in Desmond's hand.

17. Foolish Games // Assassin's Creed // 28.3k // AU

Desmond would say, if he was asked, that he was pretty happy with his life; he had fun taking classes to pursue his passion in brewing and tasting all sorts of beers; he loved being fit and active with parkour and his pick-up soccer team; he enjoyed his job bartending, even, though of course the degree varied depending on the night.

18. Animus // Assassin's Creed // 5.4k // AU - Afterlife

Desmond felt like he'd spent his whole life waiting.

19. Altruism (An Act of Good Will) // Assassin's Creed // 717 // AU

For the first hour of Desmond's very first shift at the kissing booth, he thought it was pretty neat and maybe he'd consider doing this again in the future.

20. Paradox // Assassin's Creed // 3.7k // AU

Just once, Desmond would like the bathroom to be free when he came up from his animus sessions.