#<- just in case for the last paragraph

[kris-the-yan]

Neurodivergent characters in Super Monkey Ball

Only one of these has a canon name for their disorder, the rest are implied so much that they may potentially be canon too

1. Doctor

-> Out of everyone, Doctor is the only character who has a label for his disorder, which is amnesia. And although it isn't entirely accurate representation of amnesia, it also isn't terrible as they don't portray him in a way that creates a mockery of amnesiac people in general.

-> besides that, he's also incredibly smart, so his IQ has to be through the roof practically, so maybe giftedness? Either way, he is portrayed as someone who is well-respected among individuals (hence the name Doctor, which was given by the public) (also I imagine when he was in school he was super popular due to his high intelligence)

2. YanYan

Probably not canon, but then again she litterally shows these in the games so it may be so

To start I would say she possibly shows **a few** signs of autism and although they never said anything about her having it, I feel like she probably does

-> For one thing, she **absolutely cannot sit still, AT ALL.** as seen in the games, she's constantly moving around, even when sitting down, something some sensory-seeking autistic people experience

-> Another thing, she is canonically described as being "fearless," which gets me thinking, maybe she doesn't fear anything even when it potentially puts her life in danger (for example a moving car headed her direction) (they probably mean she doesn't fear any bad guy she faces, but still).

-> Oh yeah SUPER MONKEY BALL BOUNCE AND she's the only one out of everyone who cries when she was kidnapped. Not just teary, watery eyes, I mean FULL ON WAILING which is kind of surprising because for someone who's supposedly "fearless," she's just there letting her emotions out. But why does she cry this much? Maybe it was the feeling of that green gooey web that she's tied up with, perhaps she hates the feeling of it and it upset her to the point of crying?

-> Also she's apparently shy, which honestly contradicts her actually being "fearless," but anyway, some autistic people are shy (depends on where they are on the spectrum), and although not all shy people are autistic, she could be since she experiences some of the other things (the constantly moving around is a big thing)

-> Also I think she has a lack of social awareness because she canonically has a crush on AiAi and even flirts with him even though their biological son is **right there** so shouldn't she be aware of that already? My prediction is that they throw hints and cues that any allistic person would understand and go "ok so I guess I can't date him because he's married and they have a son from the future" but YanYan doesn't seem to understand any of that, instead thinks she can still have a chance with him

3. Jam

-> Ok so this one's rather short but absentmindedness and hyperactivity are both signs of ADHD and since Jam shows both of these... :)

4. Pospos

-> I've went in-depth with this but he canonically shows signs of anomic aphasia or dysmonia, which is when you have trouble retrieving the correct words from memory, which happens to him a lot. He has trouble remembering names, which actually interferes with his job and ability to communicate overall. This is shown in-game when he struggles to remember the names of people he has to deliver mail to. He also seems to not make very good eye contact and shows signs of being shy, which I believe his disorder leads to.

5. Sisi

-> So, normally people wouldn't have to have pictures of everyone they meet to tell whether or not they exist, but just that one like tells everything ("I take pictures of everybody I meet, it's the only way I know they really exist"). The only explanation I can think of is he deals with hallucinations, specifically people. It may be only one line but he could possibly be schizo-spec because again, that piece of dialogue implies he hallucinates people and therefore takes pictures of everyone as the only real way of knowing whether they're real or not

[cloudedgalaxies]

ANYWAYS Idiyuu is Hades and Persephone conspiracy:

Persephone is not from the Underworld. She is called back to the Mortal Realm eventually because she has to return. Yuu is literally from another world. They are not suited to Twisted Wonderland, and are nothing like Idia has ever seen. They have to go back eventually.

Hades is probably one of the few TWST boys to have a “canon” spouse (at least in Greek mythology, which Hercules’ Hades is obviously based on). On top of that, Hades and Persephone is the love story between death and life, isolation and abundance, ending and rebirth. Idia is a gloomy, pessimistic boy who has been condemned to be the keeper of the Underworld. Yuu is a kind, gentle prefect who has been there to help and has helped everyone they know, again and again. 

Night Raven College has been in a ‘winter’ for all of its history. Everyone is hostile to everyone, no one wants to cooperate or work together, and every single person there has some ulterior motive. In comes Yuu, who is a breath of fresh air. A new perspective. A new season. They bring ‘spring,’ showing people that they can bloom. They can harbor feelings that aren’t cruel. They can do things that aren’t harsh. And slowly, they start to thaw. Flowers of friendship and something gentler bloom. Yuu is there to help pull the boys from their darkest moments to see the light again. Idia is no exception.

I think that the way Book 6 was set up makes Idia and Yuu seem a lot more meaningful honestly, though I'm probably reading way too into things lol. Yuu originally goes to the Island of Woe to save Grim. They don’t particularly care much about what’s going on with Idia—they just want to get Grim back. But then later, once they realize what’s going on, they do. There isn’t much, if any, personal connection to Idia’s overblot like there was with all the others. Yuu doesn’t have to do anything to help. And yet, they still do. Even after Idia basically kidnapped Grim, they still help him. They still try to end his winter.

Persephone, in many forms of the myth, didn't originally go to the Underworld willingly. But eventually, she came to love Hades, and they were happy together. Idia and Yuu have no reason to care about the other at first. But they eventually do, after everything that happens and everything that brings them together.

Hades and Persephone are in a constant push and pull. Persephone has to leave because if she stays, winter will never end. She does not want to leave, because she loves Hades. Yuu has to leave Twisted Wonderland, because they have a home beyond it that they need to return to. And yet, they don't want to leave because they love Idia. Idia doesn't want them to go, because it finally feels like spring again. But the seasons have to continue in their cycle, so what can they do?

Also, I think it’s really funny and really beautiful how Idia and Yuu’s first meeting was probably the Ghost Marriage event. This guy who thinks he has 0 rizz ends up having to be saved by some strange new isekai'd student and their gang of potential suitors before he gets his first kiss and promptly dies afterwards. Idia, the boy surrounded by death, is saved by the prefect who seems to be giving everyone a new chance at life. Imagine how poetic it’d be if Yuu and Idia end up getting married in the end, except now neither of them are going to die and they have the rest of their new lives together. There will be winter, but there will also be spring. The cycle of seasons will continue, but flowers will always bloom. They will always return to each other.

[bayetea]

a lot of people hate the hazel mist magic stuff and I won't deny that it was developed and implemented very weirdly but I actually really appreciate that it's partially connected to marie levesque who mind you summoned the lord of death/riches through her own powers. he didn't just meet her on the street and fall in love like other mortals parents she summoned a big three god to come directly to her (and then he fell for her afterwards). thusly it wasn't some late game add-on it was established very early in hoo that marie already had mystical powers of some kind based on new orleans gris-gris traditions and exploring that for hazel is pretty cool actually and makes sense! 👍

(also something something about frazel parallels where they both have special gifts that stem from their chinese/african heritage and not their godly fathers 😌)

for me the thing about it that sucks isn't that it's inherently bad or op as a lot of people seem to think (look me in the eyes and tell me that hazel is written on the page as more op than the likes of percy. rick limits her powers so much still even tho imo big three kids have a right to be op) it's that hazel's magic appears primarily tied to hecate and greek/roman mist magic instead of louisiana-haitian vodou influences (haitian vodou/louisiana voodoo are actual religions that have some key distinctions from each other, I'm just saying that rick could have drawn from either/both of them more when establishing hazel's powers). hecate mentioned marie explicitly when explaining why hazel has potential with magic but it's still pretty much all about nebulous greek/roman magic instead of new orleans-specific magic. let hazel levesque practice voodoo and cast hexes and work with spirits she deserves it (she is already a daughter of pluto so the connection to spirits should be there!!!)

[hulloitsdani]

What do u think Kiran is

How do u think the order sees kiran

*slowly sits up in my chair*

I think Kiran is a very normal person. This is someone you and I have met before. Be that from the other side of grocery store cashier, waiting in the same elevator, or walking by on a crosswalk. Kiran is a civilian from our world trying to roll with the punches of being warped somewhere completely alien. And you can see it in how they conduct themselves.

I always have a lot of fun writing Kiran’s dialogue because their casual modern speech almost feels like a dialect in comparison to the more formal fantasy tone everyone else speaks with. An “ain’t” will never exit Alfonse’s mouth, you know? And there’s a difference in “Do you have gold?” vs “You got gold?” To me, this gives Kiran an air of unfamiliarity to anyone they interact with. Let’s use Grima as an example, because it doesn’t sound like this grammatical change would make much of difference until Kiran has the audacity to hit Grima with a bro mid sentence. But that’s just how they talk. And as sweet and friendly as they are, there’s always moments like that to remind that no one has the cultural context to fully understand Kiran. Except for the audience, who can realize that Kiran let the customer service voice drop to talk to Grima like he’s an actual person.

And that’s just about how they talk! This view is only emphasized by every other thing about them! They’re a lovable goof, which is normal chill person behavior in the audience’s eyes but feels REALLY ODD to the characters of FE’s medieval fantasy war setting. There is this air of unknown about them that the more socially perceptive will pick up on and will try to come to a conclusion about. Example, I imagine Soren would interpret a lot of this as a dangerous and deeply annoying lack of intelligence from someone he has the displeasure of sharing a tactics table with. Or looping back to the Grima example, he would totally think Kiran has greedy ulterior motives behind that pleasant facade. It takes a lot of work for those types to realize that the discrepancy present isn’t really any of those things. But I also wouldn’t be too surprised if Kiran doesn’t try to directly prove any of those assumptions wrong unless they have to.

Why? Well now it’s time for the implications! Oh how we love the implications.

Because the Summoner is a different story. No one has any fucking clue what that is.

I can tell you what Kiran has pieced together so far. Summoning people from across time and space is apparently not easy. It’s not some school of magical study that some mage could pull off with enough time and research. Trust, Eitri tried. It’s a lot of complex moving parts. For example, the contracts. The contracts Kiran automatically binds their summoned to don’t even compare to the ones Veronica used in book 1. They are far more intense and infinitely harder to break. The only way out of them is if Kiran wills it so. Not even death is an option, because Kiran can come in for the revive. If they had to guess, it’s an older, more completed version of the art. Something lost to time. But no matter the case, Kiran has the ability to take full control of whoever they manage to summon. From a lowly farmer to the divine. And their power only grows.

In a similar vein, if there was any character to canonically see the hud, I think it would be Kiran. It’s genuinely part of their power set. I have previously described Kiran as the party mage until Veronica shows up to be the actual mage, but it would be way more accurate to call them a mystic/seer. They see the map, everyone’s stats, and is doing a fast amount of math to give the combat forecast. Then, upon processing all this information their enemies couldn’t dream of having at their disposal, Kiran can telepathically communicate any change in plans to anyone under contract. Kiran is not inherently some great tactician the moment they touch ground in Askr; they simply can do things no one else can. They’re learning the actual tactics part on the fly. This makes them simultaneously the largest ace up the Order’s sleeve and potentially its biggest liability. If they fall, it could cause a whole system cascade. By that same token, some of the biggest threats the Order has faced are the ones who do their research and rightfully target Kiran.

Now. Thinking critically about all that. That’s downright terrifying. A ridiculous amount of power has been dropped callously into Kiran’s lap and they have to work extremely hard to be moral with it. It’s terrifyingly easy not to be. It would actively take less effort to ‘take the reins’ as it were. But in order to be able to sleep at night ever again, they go the extra mile to not invalidate the will of their summoned. To take over like that. To make a colony of worker bees out of people. Because oh dear god they just summoned a child and the fact that they could easily force them to fight and die for them, only to be revived and do it all over again, is HAUNTING. No. No the Order has an in house orphanage now. This kid is getting adopted and cared for god damnit or Kiran might just pop a blood vessel. And sure that child is going to be a child and there will never be a world where they get along with everyone else, but that’s just going to need be a problem they address when they get there and not an excuse to use Hubris; the power set. Now replace the word child with everyone they ever summoned and you have the wider philosophy they apply to the entire Order.

They’re hyper aware of the power imbalance. They hate it with every bone in their body. They work really hard to correct it in whatever way they can.

So Kiran might not jump on the opportunity to correct those who think lesser of them. It’s… oddly comforting to know someone is keeping a critical eye on them. Holding them accountable. Especially since so much of the order just thinks of them as this quirky yet well meaning host. And, really, what can they even do about that? They have gone over the contract with every hero they summon and despite that they still choose to stay. So, what, do they try to inspire more mistrust? The problem with that they would have to actually do acts that intentionally inspire mistrust. And even if that was successful they can’t just waste the extra man power because every other month there’s some new divine asshole who wants them all dead. And if they fail that means they have to start their life from square one and god they can’t do that again so—

Just breathe Kiran.

It’s fine. You’re fine. Just breathe.

You have work to do.

[yeyinde]

i can't talk right now. this fic just changed me fundamentally as a person and now i feel like a hollow shell of my former self.

[batsplat]

On the one hand I definitely agree that Marc’s absence doesn’t take anything away from titles won but on the other I would absolutely understand if Joan and Fabio especially (Pecco less, I think… the bike… they all know about Honda beginning to fail, right? At some point ig you could say even a pre-Jerez Marc Marquez wouldn’t have ridden that to a championship and it is in Pecco’s best interest to put that point into 2022) would forever consider their titles borrowed off “luck” because I also think everyone ASSUMING if Jerez didn’t happen, Marc would have won 2020 and likely also 2021 isn’t exactly wrong. He won 3 whole races in 2021 (however he did that), that’s more than anyone else but Pecco and Fabio who finished second and first… as Max said, if is a stupid concept in sport, but the if in question is not a regular “if”, and the whole grid knows it. Hell, we are all aware that had Jerez been simply milder instead of the horror it became, Marc’s achievements would look different at this time… So that’s definitely very interesting to me, that any winning done in Marc’s continued absence from the top seems asterisked by the riders’ own attitudes. That him being on that Ducati this year helps, even a little, to alleviate a bitterness that seemed settled whenever he missed a race. It’s a true win only if you beat Marquez, because Marquez is the one to beat. I wonder if that’s what 2010 felt like to the then-grid, when Vale broke his leg… that winning didn’t even count properly, bc Valentino was not there to make it real.

yeah, listen, if marc had been uninjured in 2020, he would have won the title. I'm not arguing that bit, I'm saying it doesn't matter. marc's injury wasn't some kind of freak accident... it was unfortunate, but it was also unsurprising, and his comeback going wrong even more so. this is what you have to remember about sports but especially motorcycle racing: you are placing heavy demands on your body, and sometimes the excess demands are directly correlated to your success. in this post, there's some quotes from 2019 about how 'lucky' marc is... because he was crashing so so much outside of races to find the limit of the bike - and yet it didn't hurt his results (obviously he was still injured a lot, yearly off-season surgeries and all that). this was part of his approach and it was obviously a very successful one. and in some ways it is also one that was necessitated by the characteristics of that honda, which at this stage only he could tame... but it is true that if a lot of other riders crashed at that rate, they would've been considerably worse off, and it was a part of the process that allowed him to be so successful. and it did already make a lot of people very uneasy at the time, because it felt like eventually it just... had to go wrong. it's also worth noting that... yes, marc's achievements would look different if the injury hadn't been that bad. but the initial injury wasn't 'that bad' relatively speaking - it was his decision to come back that really fucked him over. I strongly believe he shouldn't have been allowed to race, but it was still his decision, and it was part of a tradition of ridiculously fast injury comebacks that had also helped make him so successful in past years (though fwiw this one immediately felt like a bad idea, zero hindsight needed I promise you). so let's put it like this: if you keep putting your body under incredible strain even by motogp standards to reach the level of success you do, and eventually your luck runs out, eventually you land badly on the wrong side of the risk/reward calculation... then how is it fair to say your competitors should be handed asterisks in your absence?

in 2018-19 everybody (including valentino) expected that marc would surpass valentino's titles. few expected him to last at the top of the sport for as long as valentino did. valentino during his prime crashed far far more rarely than marc did and was battering his body considerably less... for marc, there was always the question of how long this could last. he was punishing his body for his particular brand of brilliance, but this always had to be a trade-off. it wouldn't have been surprising if his career had ended through injury, though of course how 2020 played out still ended up being a shock. but!! at the end of the day, even without marc's particularly risky style of racing, you wouldn't need an asterisk. the comparison to 2010 is an interesting one, because you can tell that jorge was at times extremely eager and determined to stress that he wasn't just benefiting from valentino's absence. in the dorna-produced docu for his title, he emphasises that he was already leading the points when valentino broke his leg at the fourth race of the season... which is true, but a) valentino also wasn't leading the championship in the early stages of the two previous years either, and b) valentino was already managing injury. the eruption of that icelandic volcano meant motegi had to be rescheduled, which gave valentino the opportunity to go and get his shoulder injured in a motocross accident (again, for the question of training risk/reward see the post I linked to above). it was this injury that quite probably caused the next one... and troubled him more in late 2010 and early 2011 than the leg did. it also set off the chain of events that allowed jorge to gain ascendancy internally in yamaha, which is part of the reason why valentino decided to go to ducati and essentially took himself out of title contention for... well, two ducati years, and another year where he still wasn't quite up to speed on the yamaha. stop the volcano from erupting and motogp quite plausibly looks very different for the next few years

the question of whether valentino wins the 2010 title without injury is far more open than whether marc would've won 2020, but at worst you have to call it about 50/50 - and even with the troublesome shoulder valentino was getting the better of their actual wheel-to-wheel fights in late 2010. so that title fight too was severely influenced by one rider's bad luck, one that you can't even trace back to a particularly risky riding style... but on the other hand, eventually everyone's luck runs out, and valentino had been relatively lucky for a long time. he was also getting older, which in itself will affect recovery time. this is how athletes' competitive life cycles go, right - yes, you might lose your physical edge, yes, you might struggle to find the same fire, but you have also demanded a lot from your body for a very long time and eventually you pay the price. eventually, every athlete's era has to end... and unfortunately in grand prix motorcycle racing, a lot of the time that era ends with injury. schwantz and rainey were long-time rivals, with rainey winning three consecutive titles at the start of the nineties. in 1993, they were again locked in a title fight - until rainey crashed and was left in a wheelchair, his career ended and the title handed to schwantz. that was schwantz's only title, but he's still considered one of the greats of the sport. doohan and criville were teammates when doohan was dominant, and it took doohan's career-ending injury during the third race of the 1999 season for crivi to finally win the title. kenny roberts jr won the title in the following season in what was a chaotic year not dissimilar to 2020... from the young star who wasn't quite ready to put together a title charge to the underdogs at suzuki eventually claiming the big prize. this is how it goes... what a champion needs on their side as much as anything else is luck. jorge wasn't crashing as much as marc was in 2013, and yet somehow he ended up with the broken collarbone at assen that severely damaged his title chances - because sometimes, it only takes one crash for it all to go wrong. does that mean marc is an undeserving title winner in 2013? of course it doesn't!

in the case of 2020, when it became increasingly clear marc would not be winning this title, it's not like everyone's minds immediately went to mir. the favourites were dovi, fabio, vinales... the thing is, right, it was an absolute mess of a season (that was also of course seriously impacted by the pandemic), but someone had to be the one to take advantage. the suzuki was a well-settled package and mir after a strong rookie season was the one to put in the consistent results to claim the title. he was already highly rated going into motogp, and he was absolutely seen as a potential star of the future. for his sake and his reputation within the sport, of course it would've been preferable to win a more emphatic title... and in some ways, his 2021 on a lagging suzuki is more impressive than the 2020 title. it's an incredible shame how his career has gone since then, mostly not through his own fault, and you still want to hope he'll have the opportunity to dispel a few more doubts - both from the fans and quite possibly himself. then again, hayden won two races in 2006, kenny roberts jr three in 2000... at the end of the day, the main thing new fans know now is that they were champions, and so it will one day be for mir too. moving on to 2021, it's worth remembering that by then the honda was already a bad bike. yes, marc would undoubtedly have been the title favourite - but two of his three wins that year were at his specialist circuits that also still suited the honda, basically the places where he could win with his eyes closed. at the very least, you have to believe 2021 would have had a proper title fight and wouldn't just have been a stroll in the park for marc - yes, quite probably he would have prevailed anyway, but it's really not so cut and dry

THAT BEING SAID. I do agree with much of this ask! it is interesting that it's asterisked in the riders' minds! but it shouldn't be - that's the devil talking, you need to stand up for yourself and ignore all the doubters and get on with it. jorge had enough self confidence and stubborn belief in his own ability that this discourse in 2010 did nothing but piss him off. in 2007, casey was incredibly sick of people talking down his title because of how good the ducati was that year and the tyre difference between him and valentino. yes, casey was on the better package that year, and valentino did clearly benefit from switching tyres in 2008. does that in any way detract from casey's title? no! it doesn't!! he was right to be annoyed - imbalances are part of the game, and casey was very good that year. he deserved that title! valentino also faced the bike merchant allegations in spades of course, but young champions are particularly vulnerable to this kind of discourse. they're less established in the sport, more likely to attract detractors who are determined to prove they can't live up to the legends of the past... after 2006, everybody more or less agreed that it was a bit of a lucky title, but hayden was so popular and people were so pleased for him that it was just treated as a feel-good story - which it wasn't in the same way with surly young casey. no matter! who cares what people think! if your opponent has a bad day, you need to take the opportunity presented to you and press home the advantage. if your opponent has a bad year, even better. no sitting around worrying whether history is going to take your accomplishments seriously... it's like hayden said at assen 2006 when valentino broke his right hand and left ankle. from the oxley reference book: '[valentino] finished the race in eighth, which put him 46 points behind hayden. "when that rossi guy is down, you gotta jump on him!" he grinned'. brutal, but that's the game

also, I'll say it: I reckon both joan and fabio have probably had their fair share of bad luck to compensate by now. enough

[uncanny-tranny]

Is transsexual like, being trans or only being attracted to trans people. Also if it’s the latter woould it be considered fetishization? I’ve heard so manny things I figured is probably just best to ask the transsexual themselves

I suppose some people might use "transsexual" as a sexuality, though many people would recognize that as t4t, or trans4trans if the person in question is trans themself.

Usually, when people talk about transsexuals, they mean people who are transitioning or have transitioned. Historically, the transition was medical - hormones, surgery, and the like, though in modern times, I've seen transsexual used more and more by a variety of people.

Though it isn't inherently fetishization to be into transsexuals, I think it becomes so when you do not see us as equal beings with intrinsic value. I don't think being "into" us is the bad part, but the way you treat us is often what would indicate if fetishizing is occurring.

[pokeslash109]

Last year for August 14-15 @britishsass drew Jacob in the style of a screenshot from the Kagerou Days MV. I was over halfway through a companion piece with Jacob and Diana but ended up blocked on it and didn’t finish.

It’s technically the 16th now over here, and over a full year later… but hey, better late than never. I finished it up. If anything looks strange or inconsistent, blame the fact that one of the characters was drawn so much earlier than the other.

Happy Kagerou Days! I hope you wonderful KagePro fans all got out of the time loop okay.

Original image under the cut.

(Ignore the “A”, that was for keeping track of the screenshots we were considering using.)

Source

[becausebuckley]

Since you say you welcome asks, what do you think of the season thus far? Is it living up to your expectations? Are you enjoying watching live? (you mentioned this was your first season following along, right?)

yes, asks are always welcome!! i love chatting about 911/season 8/fics/my writing/literally anything else with you all <3

this is indeed my first time watching live! i'm really enjoying it. i can't watch as the episode airs since it's in the middle of the night for me, and i work all day friday, but it's nice to have the episode to look forward to after work. i usually prepare a snack to eat while watching - i tried out this soy-based chocolate fudge ice cream with 8x03, which was nice - and it's just a lovely start to my weekend. i'm also really enjoying being on tumblr and discord and everywhere to hear everyone's thoughts, read your fics, and look at the gorgeous gif sets everyone is creating. it's been a lovely experience for me!!

as for my thoughts on the season, i'm really really enjoying it. the bees were funny, the plane disaster was captivating, and though i'm not the biggest fan of any plots involving athena's police work, i do love watching angela bassett on my screen, so that's all good. i'm also really enjoying seeing the team interact with each other. i feel like we're getting some more little team moments (e.g. everyone on the roof in 8x01, the dance party, hen and chim and eddie on the engine in 8x03) than before and it's been so nice to see. i would appreciate it if gerrard could leave soon and i don't love that the mara plot is this drawn-out, but i'll see where it goes! long story short, definitely living up to my expectations, and i'm having a lovely time. i hope you are as well, anon!

[catastrxblues]

hi so i just finished bridge to terabithia and now i’m unwell and my eyes are red because i’ve been crying before i’d even reached 20 minutes of it for i actually knew what was going to happen and by the time i reached an hour something something i just straight up sobbing screaming into my pillow. and now it’s 12 am and i’m still thinking about them. because god, look at them, how they were, the little world they lived in, wouldn’t you just love that, to run away, to escape, to grasp that childhood naivety and innocence that you lost a long time ago, to feel the sun in your skin and the air in your lungs and to paint fantasies and laugh and play and run hidden away from the world and find an old run down tree house and decided to make it your own little shelter and pin up canvases on the worn wood and paint and let your creativity goes wild and have someone understand you and gets you and do it with you, and wouldn’t you just love to have something so constant, so sincere, so genuine, so pure, so real, that there wasn’t anything else. if i knew i was going to cry this much, if i knew how much space this movie would make in my life, i wouldn’t have started this movie tonight. i would have been in peace on the floor of my room, not realizing how badly i actually want something like this even though i would never unironically admit this to anyone in my life or even myself when i’m outside of the familiar place of my mind, for that matters

[guckies]

I’m already associating Lucie and the song My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski…

So if anyone cares about these lines and their significance:

“Nothing in the world belongs to me”

“Send my heart up to you? So, when I die, which I must do. Could it shine down here with you?”

“My baby here on earth, showed me what my heart was worth. So, when it comes to be my turn, Could you shine it down here for her?”

Lucie’s last thoughts were that she had failed with nothing left. Except we could see the undeniable fact that she still had her love and that her love is poured into Emi the moment she sacrificed herself for her.

She accepted her sacrifice for a kid she disliked but learned to love because that kid had nothing like her and so she was gonna be something or someone for her. But to do that she needed Emi to live her life away from the mess created and to never have the chance to die a slow cold death scared she had messed up her chance at living. She died for Emi but also in a way for herself.

When she died we’ll know that she’ll be looking over Emi, a kid who is all to similar to herself left with Benito who is almost too similar as well. But more than that she’ll know that through anything when she’s looking down on them that they get to experience the wonders of life the same way she hope she would have. It would be the one thing to bring her peace in the afterlife and although she wishes she could have been with them, she doubts that she would have ever been happier with a different outcome.

Now that I’ve told you all this don’t imagine the song being Lucie’s outro song as the camera pans out from her dead body towards her glasses and then to the glow of a room as the shadow of Benito clutches onto Emi with Carol across from them slowly fading to black as the song ends.

[vialae]

really feel like gortash and ascended astarion wouldn’t get along to comical amounts. like especially with how i write everything where durge accepts bhaal and succeeds in his plans w gortash.

gortash and kaidos planning every awful expansion of their empire out to the minute details. theyve been working at this for years, and finally they see the fruits of their labour and they so deserve these seats they’ve muscled their way into.

and then here comes ascended astarion waltzing into their halls as if he owns them. as if everyone should be kneeling and be so grateful they get to be in his presence. gortash isn’t at all intimidated by it; he’s seen every act and trick there is to play amongst aristocracy. sure a vampire ascendant is physically very strong, but where are his connections? the wealth he earned all on his own? a well established reputation? appearances are everything in the upper-city, after all.

and then to hear this vampire talk to his dearest assassin in that tone. talking down to his equal as if he was somehow better than him. gortash wouldn’t stop it in the moment because he doesn’t want to make kaidos seem like someone who can’t fight his own battles, but he does ask about it when they’re alone. why do you let him talk to you that way? he has no right to. gortash is also a very petty man, and so whenever astarion addresses him personally, he will use the same condescending tone in response. nobody is undermining gortash in his own halls.

for a vampire ascendant who has only had this rush of power for a matter of months to act this way in front of a man who has spent the last 40ish years dragging himself to the spot he is in now. nobody ever gifted gortash any power - there was no ritual he could ever override. no, he had to fight, scheme and crawl his way up. he deserves to be sat in these halls. gortash is only tolerating his presence because kaidos insists he can be useful. there is information a vampire can get a lot easier than a group of banite soldiers can. the looks gortash gives this ascendant vampire let him know that he is only staying his hand because his beloved wants him to.

[commsroom]

Essay question, sort of? Mostly just curious about your thoughts on it; Was the destruction of the alien knowledge given to Eiffel ultimately better for humanity? I think about it a lot,,

short answer? i think so, yes. probably. in terms of the process - fourteen thousand years is an incomprehensible length of time from a human perspective. even if you wanted to set a plan in motion to secure the future of humanity... how? and should anyone be the arbiter of humanity's fate? cutter and pryce certainly wanted to be. maybe the point is that, whether it would be "better" to know or not, no one should ever have the power to make that choice.

(of course, there's also the question of the dear listeners being the arbiters of humanity's fate, but they operate on a completely different level of understanding - what they represent is a force beyond human control or comprehension, a shadow cast by an impossibly Big Picture, and that can't be reasoned with from the same perspective.)

in terms of the knowledge itself... some if it is practical, like the ability to create duplicates - obviously, that could be very, very dangerous in the wrong hands, and it puts a massive target on eiffel's back. the rest of it... would people even believe him? most of it isn't really something you can prove. "astronauts return from the dead; claim to have made first contact - are we being observed?!" ... it's tabloid material. most people would just go on with their lives, i think.

... but i also think this ties into another question. in the context of wolf 359, is there a categorical difference between memory, knowledge, and information? i think i might elaborate on that in a separate post, so that this isn't way too long, but... i'm not entirely convinced that knowledge is destroyed? the information recall the dear listeners put in eiffel's mind functions, in my understanding, kind of like hera's servers - it's information he has access to, but not necessarily something he's learned, or processed through memory in the same way. and the dear listeners seemed very adamant about not allowing them to return to earth without a debriefing. i doubt that "killing" bob, a being that doesn't have a concept of death, in a form they didn't even truly inhabit, would've been enough to disrupt that. i assume they were satisfied with what the hephaestus crew was taking back, and that is... a whole other can of worms.

[dairine-bonnet]

Hardly a fairy tale

Looking back, Malak sometimes wonders how real their feelings for each other were. Or they simply reveled in forbidden desires, condemned by the masters, conscious violation of the rules of the Order and passion caused by the excitement of the competitive spirit, which might have easily mixed up with something more menacing.

P.S. Here Malak is thinking about Revan and their relationship, of course.

[medicinemane]

I get very tired of dealing with people who are so busy being "practical" that they're just totally prescriptive

I tend to be, I think, a fairly pragmatic person. Like most years I spend about... maybe $50 on myself for the whole year (this year is going to be a bit higher, but there's also specific utility to what I'm spending it on). I tend to not bother buying myself snacks, cause I know I'm mostly hungry, and if I'm hungry real food is a better deal (I sadly tend to fail to get ahold of the real food either)

My point is that I tend to be very goal oriented (not in a ladder climbing way, in a I set goals and then work towards them kinda way), I tend to be very focused on what will push my situations into being sustainable, I tend to look for high efficiency, low cost, long term solutions

I was... I was talking to that friend I'll say is Dr Jekyll and Mr Dumbass (I was more trying to talk to my dad, but they were both there). It was definitely Mr Dumbass today

For one thing, he was already saying a bunch of really fucking dumb shit where... it's so stupid I'm not even going to repeat it, where it's like the answer for why we don't do that is because it's obviously a moronically stupid idea on top of being immoral, and also totally ineffective you dipshit

So I already wasn't in the mood for him

Then, while talking about visiting my grandma, I mention how in order to start cooking I need sharp knives, none of my knives are sharp (cause my mom's a fool and dulls them all), and how it would really help if I could just take a knife from my grandma since she doesn't cook anymore and just... keep it as my personal knife that I keep sharp

(I can't do this, cause my grandma is... bug fuck crazy, and legit believes that if you gift someone a knife they'll kill people with it which like... where do you even get that idea, like she has literally said before that she'd give money to buy a knife but wouldn't give one as a gift... what?)

Anyway, Mr Dumbass starts going on about how I can just buy a new knife, and it's like no... in your quest for objective practicality you've lost all pragmatism

I don't need to buy a new knife, I need to learn to sharpen knives which... which I just have a bit of a block on cause I've had trouble figuring out how to sharpen stuff so far (I've come to suspect that which of the hard and soft stones you use first and second isn't intuitive and I've been trying to hone with the sharpening stone and sharpen with the honing stone)

Like... to get mean for just a slight moment, shut your fool mouth, you've got more money than I've ever even touched, and while you were poor at one point when you were younger you've clearly forgot, and not everyone can just buy stuff

Also you're saying a bunch of dumb shit tonight with such confidence and it's pissed me off

He's capable of being a very very smart and compassionate person, and then other times he's a damn fool, and far too often he... he talks about practicality without actually understanding how to be practical

Being practical requires working in the confines of reality

...I don't know, I don't think I have all the words I need to explain what I'm saying, but the point is he's annoyed me and people who act like him annoy me where it's like... nothing matters in the end other than if you actually solve something

You can talk all day about what someone "should do", but what matters is what they will do

So it gets frustrating talking with my family with him cause he has all this ideas where it's like... that functionally won't work, and like some of his great ideas are how I can just wait for my grandma to die and get the knife then and it's like... yeah... but I need a knife now dummy, and I have knives, and which is more useful?

Dropping a pretty penny on a new knife, or finishing learning a skill I really fucking need badly and that makes it so I can sharpen things for next to free forever?

...I'm just tired of having to do everything myself and getting no help, that's all. How about you shut your fucking mouth, stop trying to offer advice that's worse than my plans I'm already slowly turning the gears on making happen, and just let me bitch about my idiot relatives?

Laughing at this fool antics when he chooses to do that, legitimately is more helpful than any attempts to help

[curryaboo]

every other month im like ..reading a book will fix me™️ & then i read a book & im sent reeling until the next one