#<- ithinks ^_^^ <33333

[clownakai]

Hi! Let's talk about: Conan's terribly kept secret, and how come he doesn't seem to mind that Akai has pretty much figured it out (and teases him about it)

I'm not going to lie, I think about this a lot and I've wanted to make a post dissecting the whole thing for a while. It's one of those details within two characters' relationship that says a lot about their overall dynamic, in my opinion.

So, to start off, let's address the secret in question and what it means to Conan. Basic stuff, but it's a useful starting point.

The first and greatest motivation behind Shinichi's efforts to keep his situation a secret from Ran is that he doesn't want to endanger her (good idea in theory, not so easy in practice, but this post isn't about that).

In time, this also becomes valid for everyone who associates with Kudou Shinichi and/or Edogawa Conan, given all the stunts he pulls as the latter. Just to be on the safer side, those two identities should remain separate.

Now, here's the first real "outsider" who figures out Conan is Shinichi.

I'm kind of reading this as Conan attempting to call Hattori's bluff, but as soon as he realizes that the guy is serious about telling Ran everything, he drops all pretenses and comes clean about the APTX.

Now, since this is still pretty early on in the manga, we can argue that Conan's identity hasn't been solidified just yet and Shinichi doesn't know how dangerous the Organization actually is, and combining that with the fact that Hattori is pretty much a stranger, the pros of conceding defeat on the matter and explaining himself to a fellow detective definitely outweigh the cons.

(This also gifts us with the funniest swaggest most whimsical duo ever, but I digress /silly)

And after Heiji, we have the man, the myth, the legend. Hondou Eisuke. His case is kind of particular, in that he doesn't really try to get the secret out of Conan. The truth is presented to him due to something unrelated (asking Ran out), which is apparently reason enough for Shinichi to out himself.

I do believe that Shinichi felt secure enough in doing this for a couple reasons: first and foremost, Eisuke is at least marginally aware of the Organization and the danger it represents, and he knows the importance of keeping secrets given both his sister's situation and his career choice. Secondly, Eisuke is leaving Japan: sure, there's a chance he might stay in contact with his friends via text, but he has no reason to tell Ran about Conan's real identity in the first place.

The real "danger" here was the possibility (very, very small. Basically non-existent, to be honest) that Ran would say yes to Eisuke's proposal to go to the States together (where, in Shinichi's mind, he wouldn't be able to follow, where he wouldn't be able to watch over her, where he felt he would lose her in every way that matters), and that chance, no matter how small, warranted an intervention. Not exactly pure logic, but that's teenagers for you (affectionate).

Alright, so what about people like Masumi? She even has an advantage in that she already knows about the existence of a drug that makes people shrink: her own mom looks like a middle schooler because of that. She's in danger no matter how you look at it, and she's clearly been keeping that secret the same way Agasa, Hattori, and the Kudous have for a good while. So how come she doesn't get to join the club?

The answer is, of course, the risk factor.

Masumi, as we all know, wouldn't know the meaning of subtlety if it hit her in the face with a baseball bat. We love and cherish her regardless, but admittedly, that's not a trait that would inspire trust in a pair of teenagers hiding their continued existence from an evil syndicate.

That's right! We have her timing to keep in mind as well. Masumi is added to the scene well into the main timeline's events, which means multiple things:

Conan's identity is finally well-established and separate from Shinichi's. Ran has had her suspicions in multiple instances, but they've been assuaged every time. Still, that balance is hard to maintain.

Shinichi is now fully aware of just how dangerous the Organization is: he's now much more reluctant to just share his secret willy-nilly with random strangers, even though they might prove to be useful allies in the long run.

Conan isn't the only shrunk teenager running around anymore: Haibara has just as much reason as him, if not more, to want to keep the number of people in the know as low as possible. By revealing his own secret, there would be virtually no way for Shinichi to keep Haibara out of the metaphorical line of fire.

Therefore, a variable that behaves like this...

Or this...

Isn't very likely to garner much favor from either of these two.

Something to take note of, though, is the fact that Conan pretty much only ever panics when Masumi brings up his identity if she's making an active effort to also bring the matter up with people who are firmly on the "Absolutely Cannot Find Out" list (Ran especially).

In multiple other instances, when Masumi alludes to being aware of Conan's ruse but talks to him one-on-one and makes it clear that the comment is a one-off occasion (and that she's not going to push it this time), Shinichi doesn't really lose his cool.

He may stumble over his words a bit, but the moment isn't played as dramatic or high-risk, per se. It's more as if he were being privately teased about his situation— sort of like as inside joke. It's not exactly welcome, but it also doesn't raise any alarm bells since it stays between him and Masumi.

Now, would Conan's problems with Masumi's nosiness be solved if he gave up and admitted the truth she already knows? Of course, but that's not really the point.

The issue is that this wouldn't be happening on his terms. He would be giving in to someone's else's demands, and in addition to that, Masumi has been asking non-stop about the antidote that Shinichi intermittently uses to get back to normal.

That, above all else, is what makes the endless dance of denial necessary, I think: admitting the truth also means outright admitting that prototypes of an antidote exist, and that means exposing Haibara (both her past work and therefore criminal background, and what she's been working on these past few months: letting Masumi have even a single pill would mean the MI6 getting their hands on it in turn, and that's pretty much not something anyone wants), which in turn would probably set off a very unpleasant chain reaction for everyone involved.

When Shinichi conceded defeat with Hattori, it wasn't on his terms either, but at least he knew the guy didn't really have any ulterior motive apart from his one-sided beef with the Detective of the East.

With Masumi there is no such certainty— quite the opposite, in fact, which is why I think this is the reason he's been so insistent on denying the truth even when he now knows full well that Masumi's can be no mere suspicions.

With all that said, let's get to the point of this bad boy! (I did not think this analysis would get so long. Holy shit)

Let's start with the fact that Akai operates on a pretty simple need-to-know basis. If something isn't relevant to what he's trying to do, he tends not to mention it. Still, he's not exactly strict about this: when Conan mentions Akai and Masumi's familial relation, he takes it in stride and gives his own confirmation because he sees no reason not to.

Now, this of course doesn't mean that he can't get curious about things himself, or that he won't conduct his own investigations on said things. His M.O., however, is very different from that of, say, Hattori or Masumi. It can probably be chalked up to maturity and years of experience, along with the simple matter of his personality, but Akai doesn't exactly make a spectacle of things.

He knows when to push and when to let go in a manner that still gives him the answers he seeks. He easily manipulates Conan into giving himself away as Shinichi while still making sure to be the only one witnessing that moment.

And then he decides to be a bastard and give Conan a heart attack... for about a tenth of a second, since as he does that he also carefully words things in order to give the kid an easy out.

All Akai wanted was to figure out the mystery in front of him (he's by admission a curious guy. He likes solving puzzles): now that he has his answers, he's not really going to do anything with them because he has no reason to— Conan is already willing to cooperate with him and the FBI (and has already done so before), after all. They already share intel more or less freely. He's literally living in the kid's house. For free. Why would he jeopardize any of that by falling out of favor with him?

This, I think, is a pretty solid basis upon which I can build my beautiful sandcastle.

Of the couple times in which Akai respectively asks Conan about his identity outright and mildly teases him about his circumstances, the context always plays a huge role.

In the first scenario, the two are speaking in public, yes, but at the same time the conversation is:

Pretty much kept private

Initiated by Conan (he asked for information first!)

Framed as a proposal of a mutual exchange by Akai, who also backs off immediately as soon as Conan turns him down

Of course, Shinichi is already reasonably sure Akai has him figured out anyway, so the point is moot, but it's still nice to get plausible deniability and still be somewhat in control of when he's going to come clean to the guy of his own volition.

In the second scenario, the situation is even more "secure" so to speak, as:

They're sitting in Okiya Subaru's car

They're completely alone

They're in a hurry to do something else (God fucking dammit, Shuukichi)

In this case, Conan doesn't outright react to the jab. Maybe it's because he doesn't really know what to say, or maybe it's just that he doesn't have enough time to come up with a reply before Shuukichi picks up the call. Either way, he does perhaps look a little put on the spot, but there's no real panicked reaction, no telltale change in what Conan's pupils look like in true DetCo fashion, which I'd say confirms he doesn't feel threatened at the moment.

(If we really must give it a critical interpretation, maybe the bit feels a little like a joke falling flat because it was made during an otherwise tense moment and it has nothing to do with the bigger issue.)

It's also worth noting how Akai's dig directly ties into his own circumstances, which possibly helps with lowering the "offensive" charge of the words. It's not a direct accusation, but rather a mildly humorous, harmless observation about their shared status (presumed dead by the enemy).

The biggest thing about both scenes is still, however, the fact that Akai unfailingly frames the subject in a way that leaves the choice of whether to actually talk about it completely up to Conan. He definitely recognizes his position as privileged/advantaged, but actively chooses not to make use of that, and he hasn't treated Conan any differently ever since verifying his suspicions either.

(Sidenote: I do believe that keeping the kid's identity from his own colleagues is also a strategic choice. Like I mentioned before, outing Conan would mean outing Haibara, and I do believe Akai's promise to protect Shiho also includes keeping her far away from any government agency who may be interested in what she knows— and what she's done.)

In conclusion: I am extremely normal about random interactions between these two and also I think that Conan's unshakeable trust in Akai stems from how the guy has been treating him ever since they started collaborating— with genuine respect (and even admiration) and never actually making him feel cornered the way so many others do, whether intentionally or not. This results in occasional sillygoofy privileges because Akai can recognize the time and the place in which it's acceptable to tease the Cone.

[theclosetedskeleton]

(had to send this here because it goes past the discord character limits) haiiii just a little reminder that;

 i love you. more than words and numbers combined can describe, and i mean that. you are genuinely the most amazing human ive ever met and im so fucking happy that youre just here. you fill my mind 24/7 and i cant get you out of my thoughts. anything you do, no matter how small you think it is, makes me smile. you just make me so insanely happy by just being here, and when i say happy i mean it. i havent felt such happiness like this. you make me want to psychically implode(/extremely pos) because of how giddy you make me. i care about you so much and i can never go an hour without thinking about how youre doing. you are really important to me. youre my everything, the light of my life, and i wouldnt want anyone else here to fill that role except for you. i would do anything, everything, and all the things i could possibly (or impossibly) do just to make you happy. whether that ranges from creating another separate milky way just with my mind or by finding you a song you cant find. if itll make you happy im already doing it. i will always and i mean ALWAYS be here for you, no matter what. the time, place, mood im in, it doesnt matter. if you need me i will be there. and if theres a time you need me and im asleep? dont be scared to call and hangup after so my phone ringing will wake me up. i may not be there physically with you, but i will try my very best to be with you whenever i can online. i could legitimately listen to you ramble all fucking day. it doesnt matter if i even know anything about what you want to ramble about, if you want to talk about it i am always here to listen. you deserve everything you want and more. you deserve the whole world and i will do my best to give it to you. i really am the luckiest person in the world just to even know you. if i could, i would make all the bad things disappear without a trace. and i know this weeks been pretty rough, and im sorry you have to deal with me just being bleh, but i really appreciate you being here. it means more to me then youll ever know. i really hope we last longer than forever. you mean everything to me.

i love you ezra <33333/gen/qp

AWWWWWJSKWHWJSMNS !!!!!!!!! GRINNING SO SOSOSO HARD RIGHT NOW <33333333333

I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!!!!! SO SO SO SOSOSOSOSOO SOOO MUCH LIKE I CANT. COMPREHEND OR DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I DO AND I DONT THINK ANYONE CAN. !!!!!!!!! YOU MAKE ME LIKE. THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE JUST BY EXISTING!!!!!! I LITERALLY MEAN THAT!!!! THERE DOESNT GO A SINGLE DAY WITHOUT ME SMILING BECAUSE OF YOU!!,, THIS I S GONNA SOUND REALLY REALLY CLICHÉ BUT NOBODY HAS MADE ME FEEL LIKE THIS (IN A /VVVVVVVVPOS WAY !!!)!!!! YOU ARE THE MOST AMAZING AWESOME WONDERFUL KINDEST ANY OTHER WORD THAT FITS PERSON EVER.!!!!!!!!!!!YOURE THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE, THE STARS THE MOON, EVERYTHING !!!!!!!! EVERYDAY I WAKE UP AND IM SO HAPPY I GET ANOTHER DAY TO TALK TO YOU!!!!!!! YOU MAKE ME SO GIDDY BY LITERALLY DOING NOTHING OH MY GOD <33333!!!!!! ITHINK ABOUT YOU LIKE ALL THE TIME, THERE NEVER GOES A SINGLE DAY WHERE I DONT THINK ABOUT YOU OR WHAT YOURE DOING OR ANYTHING ABOUT YOU !!!!! <3333333 I CARE ABOUT YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH. I MEAN THIS, <333 I WOULD DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING FOR YOU, EVEN IF IT WERE JUST TO MAKE YOUR LIFE A LITTLE MORE EASIER!!!!!!!! YOU CAN ALWAYS, AND I MEAN ALWAYS TELL ME ANYTHING !! WHATEVERS BOTHERING YOU AND WHATNOT, EVEN IF ITS THE TINIEST THING!!! YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING; THE SKY THE WORLD THE MOON THE STARS THE EVERYTHING!!!! AND SOME MORE !!! AND I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO GIVE IT TO YOU <33333 I WISH I COULD JUST. SNAP MY FINGERS AND YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT A SINGLE THING AGAIN IF I COULD ID ERASE ALL OF YOUR TROUBLES.!!!!! I HOPE WE LAST LONGER THAN FOREVER, AND LONGER THAN THAT !!!!!

(ALSO ITS ALRIGHT, DW!!!!!!)

I LOVE YOU TOO RICKY <3333333!!!!!!!!!GEN/QP

[trainingdummyrabbit]

can I just has a random Mera hc... but none of the other stuff...

ok i know you said just a random headcanon but i just remembered a scenario i thought up of fuckin ages ago and i wanna talk about it so here we go. mmmost of its gonna b copypasted from where i put it first bc its a LOT of words so im gonna put it under a cut :P

so!! eam au. i hc mera doesnt usually make an outwardly big deal abt her birthday very often. usually the most she does is get herself a treat or something. or use it as leverage if she Wants something and wants to be obnoxious about it. shes not really a big fan of Parties and People Talking At Her and Noise and Ugh. so most of the time she just keeps to herself and keeps things on the down-low. most people dont learn about her birthday at all if she can help it. buuuut the household is The Household so they find out eventually. they usually respect her preferences though. usually.

so, its probably been a while since the household has gotten together at this point-- everyones comfortable with each other, everyones kind of found their place at this point! and mera... is trying her best! but its the morning of meras birthday that molly actually comes and wakes her up a bit early. and mera, reasonably (and predictably,) looks at her. looks at the clock. looks back. "what do you want?" a bit snippy, but molly was prepared for this. and she pulls out a little box, "i know its a bit early, and you can go right back to bed after, but i thought you might want to see what i got you!" and mera just. shit. right. that is today. and she kind of weighs her options.. and takes the box.

its honestly small enough to fit in her hand, which she doesnt really mind, but its curious. and inside is a little gold pin in the shape of a heart. and molly watches, excited, n just tells her to try it on! do it! :> and well, she does. and immediately, there was almost a wave of... peace? quiet? calm. a bit subtle, but noticeable. very noticeable. and molly just begins chattering excitedly-- shed been working on it for a while, but she actually imbued a bit of her epithet into the pin, enough to, more or less, keep the side effects of meras epithet at bay! and shes just going on and on about the intricacies of it and mera just sits there kind of... stunned. but eventually, when molly finishes her explanation, she gives a kind-of-awkward, but... genuinely heartfelt thank you.

the long story short of its that it actually quells the side effects of meras epithet for a set amount of time, but it kinda slowly recharges its energy as the wearer sits in quiet. (which molly adds smugly, "in case you ever need an excuse to slip away :3c")

and some of the rest of the fam was actually in on it! helping her research and prepare (mostly sylvie) and looking for a good vessel for it (mostly ramsey) and then a whole lot more opens up for her! which, admittedly, was incredibly strange for mera, considering her spending all of her life being cautious and careful so she doesnt... yknow.

and well, shortly after, molly offers to spend the day with her (if she wants, of course, she knows the value of personal space. ..and mera's general attitude towards her birthday, but the offer still stood!) to "check if the pin works well :)" ..but she really just kind of wants to spend some time with her. and she asks what mera used to for fun do before her epithet started getting in the way. and mera just kinda thinks for a moment... "uh, i read a lot. and uh... took walks, if it was a good day." and kinda... falls quiet again. and thats when she realizes.

ah fuck. shed been spending so much of her time focused on trying to figure out some solution to her epithet that she... kind of forgot to do much else, really. she didnt do much more than read with most of her free time. and molly just kind of thinks about it, then... "well, do you want to try something new? i can show you how to sew, if you want." and then, ":D we can find out the Thing for you now!"

and that started a little something new! it started off as just molly rattling off things to try, and then someone else heard and joined in, and then well... everyone was in on it after some time! and eventually, they just kinda. took turns. trying out some new activity with mera to see if its something that she clicked with. and well, honestly just to spend a bit more time with her now that she has that time and energy to spare! time to get to know each other just a little bit better, tie those bonds a little bit closer. they still have to be careful- its not a permanent end-all solution, it was more of a lifeline if things got too rough but... it helped. it helped a lot. and it was pretty easy to tell! and well, it was a definite step towards things getting just a little bit better.

[yamikawas]

You want kisses? Of course, anywhere you want, my little Princess. - your one and only

aAAAAAAAAAA YOOMIE GET OVER HERE AND SMOTHER MY FACE IN KISSES THEN<3<3<3<3<3333