#<- im doing that as a joke and as a test to see if ill remember to tag mr ukki later.

[every-kakashi]

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

i dont usually post random snippets like this but everyone PLS listen to chii she is adorable 🥺🐟

[lynnetendo]

i've said it before and i'll say it again: miss me with your insulting frustrating Comedic Topic Bingos (TM) when they are literally just statements in square table form. if you make statements in square table form, i cant stop you! cant complain! success! sexy of you to have put a bunch of words out there for people to measure how relatable you are, how accurate your future sight is, how good you deconstructed this topic. make that ask meme you wanted. hot af. go get that confirmation. slay. love. be free

however if you just put a bunch of statements in a square roster WITH SOME FIELDS IN A LINE DIRECTLY CONTRADICTING EACH OTHER OR BEING MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE, AND CALLING IT A BINGO, YOU'RE SUCCESSFULLY INCREASING MY LEVELS OF FRUSTRATION!! IF THE FIELDS CONTRADICT EACH OTHER IT'S NOT BINGO!! YOU'VE MADE IT UNFAIR BY DESIGNING IT WITH A SECTION THAT IS FULLY UNWINNABLE!!

and if you say "well not everything can be won. these arent supposed to be won" then why didnt you just Not make a bingo...

[arosebyan0thername]

Tw in the tags for unhealthy eating habits bc readmore doesn't seem to work on mobile anymore

[icarusredwings]

Rewatched Deadpool 1. Took notes.

WARNING: Discussion of mental illness topics, ending yourself, trauma, violence, etc.

Civil debate/ conversation welcomed. Sorry its super long. I think a lot.

Notes:

You know what? We see Wade coloring a lot. What's our status on just giving him cartoons snacks and coloring books? He needs it.

I think we all forget how actually impressive this man is. I just watched this cancer having fucker do like 50 flips.

Whatta man is so Logan Howlett coded.

"Bad deadpool" "good deadpool!"

Deadpool has been helping kids for a while. He terrified a little creep while he himself was a huge creep.

Missed up his words and Vanessa smiled at him. With that "aw hes cute" kinda thing.

When talking about their childhood (whether he's lying or not, hes not about the uncle) and he outdos her so much that she giggles.

The first date he takes her ducking skiiballing instead of yk prostitute stuff

Hes so romantic oh my god.

Theyre giggling and joking like all the time. Personally thanksgiving is my favorite scene before he proposes with a fucking ring pop.

I shouldn't laugh but the way he said "wtf" when passing out

Vanessa instantly jumping to "what can we do? There has to be something" makes me instantly respect her as a chronically ill person myself. Partners who medically defend each other make me so happy because a lot of people divorce their partners when they get "too sick" let alone dont show up to specialist appointments.

Him accepting death so quickly is a sign of mental illness, and you can see him be confused on why shes so upset. Shes crying and hes sitting here like "why do you care if I die or not?" He physically feels so unloved that he just doesn't get it.

"I dont know. Might further the plot. " Oh, so you know about wades little mental tv show he puts on in his head as a coping mechanism?

Also... Weasel.. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS A WEASEL!? Shit sorry wrong movie.

Its not until now that hes crying because he realizes if he does then no more vanessa. We already know hes very co dependent and many people only care about themselves BECAUSE of other people. Which is also considered a sign of wanting to ☠️ self.

The whole "superheros are all lame ass teachers pets" thing is so funny if you think about how much beef he has with the xmen when in reality I have a feeling Wade would love charles in a "Ugh im in trouble with Daddy wheel chair again." COUGH "old bald heavens gate looking mother fucker" COUGH

"Thats not nice" No. But wade is genuienly not nice either.

"This is embarrassing. Please stop, " Colosus said what we all were thinking.

Bro literally cut/broke off his own hand and didn't whine a single time. If you ever. EVER hear this man express pain it is 99.9% his own choice to let you know that it hurts.

During his changing process, Francis says "the only thing that doesn't survive is a sense of humor" wade says "we'll see about that" and smirks.

What also makes sense to me is that he did NOT break easily. They did test after test after test and this man still wasn't breaking. His spirit is incredibly strong and as much as we enjoy joking about how stupid he is, Wade is extremely resourceful.

Its like he has created an alter ego of humor and kindess in order to keep up with the fact he DOES understand how fucked up this world is and whats happening/happened around him but refuses to acknowledge it until he has too. Ussually for survival.

Ive seen theories that he has DID or a type of Scizophreania and the voices in the comics are obviously in his head. I have mixed feelings about it because even his thoughts have thoughts of their own in some cases. Talking to no one is often a sign of abadonment, esspecially in children who are school age and get lonely when taken from their families to attend school. Its almost as if wade never lost his and hes subconsiously talking to himself to keep himself calm/ from panicking in high stress situations.

"But then how does he know hes in a movie" thats the thing. He doesn't. Hes pretending to cope. Main charaters cant die and until he dies he has this mental show/movie going on to keep himself from realizing all of this is true. That this is reality.

Cunningham mentions breakfast for his kids and suddenly, wade wakes up. Hes not joking anymore. This is a "oh shit... I wanna make breaktsst for my kids too... with my wife vanessa" moment.

"So whats wrong with him?"

Diiiiiddd we all forget about scout master kevin? Uncle? Dad? That fact that the oxygen was physically taken from his brain and was given Co2 poisoning over and over? For multiple days? This is the same man who blew himself up just to escape because they told him he wasnt going to see vanessa again.

And then he fought a guy naked, survived the entire building burning down, and now is so insecure about his looks that he thinks he made the baby cry in the street.

Theres people staring at him, flinching away, called names, people see him and cross the street. (So when he tells Logan that he knows his pain when it comes to public settings, hes not lying)

Blind Al is literally the reason deadpools suit is what it is. Why the idiot thought white was gonna be a good idea- See above. Unlike Al, who could smell the blood/ bleach.

I really love al. She's like the adult Toph.

"I hear everything in this duplex." OH, you poor thing.

"The guy that turned me into this freak-"

Al: *bitch im blind face*

As far as she's aware, he looks normal. Which is beautiful when you think about it, but it's funny when you think about the fact that he's so insecure about his face that he purposly found a blind room mate that couldn't judge him.

And they cuddle while he gets dating advice from grammie 🥹❤️

I really like how the entirety of Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Children (HellHouse in the comics) stood up for Weasel. They're murderers. But they're family.

What they did to vanessa was straight fucked. Her fiance up and leaves without notice, youre just trying to work and live your life, you get kidnapped.

Negasonic is so cool. I love them.

Dopinder (The cab guy) is so cool too. I love him too. Kill that guy in your trunk. "Mr. Pool" reminds me of Tom holland spiderman.

"It is not boy band >:(" Suurreee it isn't.

"Wheres your duffle bag?" You mean his dollar general store tree hello kitty book bag filled with guns?

"Cue the music" *no one even gives a fuck at this point when he talks to the imaginary cams*

Negasonic mid battle: Hold on- "Hey Yukio, yeah I just gotta fuck shit up real quick, ttyl?"

"Sure thing! <3 You go baby!"

I dont know anything about negasonic but she reminds me of Gambit with her energy powers.

Like I said. Hes smart when its a serious situation because he immediately threw his katana into the glass so vanessa could breathe, only to immediately turn sappy and childish again when he sees her stab francis with it. Heart hands, is hallucinating because theres a knife in his brain (literally), sex joke. Etc.

Colossus shut the fuck up. Let this man kill him. He's hurt Soooooo many people. A bullet costs less then a dollar. His amount of therapy alone is going to be like *checks calculations* 80 billion.

"Not the nethers" Wade can and often does show proof of hurting but hed rather cut off his hand then let vanessa punch him in the balls. "Ow- owie 5000"

Hello Hugh Jackman.

After not seeing each other for so longer they instantly go back to the fibbing. "I live in the house with 12"

"You live in a house??" Funny guys get the girls. I should know. My wife says im super funny (yes im in therapy)

Pinky promises really matter to him.

Hes such a silly billy he brought out the phone with their song on it. God what a romantic idiot.

[aizawas-dryeye]

➭jjk characters as things my friends have said

content: crack, +18 topics, drugs, NSFW shit, like one joke about eating disorders

words: 627

ko-fi

!!MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

my friends make me giggle , um also i had No Fucking Idea how to format this soooo

• • •

Shoko: i hate when men say they hate hairy coochie cos they cant find the clit like sir move her bangs over and there she is

Shoko: anyways i stopped shaving my pubes out of spite

*•*•*

Gojo after having a breakdown about Geto: bitch he called me perfect after seeing my ass and tits , forget what i said bitch im in love 😍‼️

*•*•*

Nobara: id buss down for a corn dog

*•*•*

Maki: people who are still in a harry styles or justin bieber phase refuse to progress in a way that is healthy

*•*•*

Nanami: i think im a hypochondriac

Gojo: isnt that when you have boy and girl parts?

Geto: thats a hermaphrodite

*•*•*

Mei Mei, taking the bdsm test: it says im 70% misogynistic

Utahime: that says MASOCHISTIC

*•*•*

Toji: you have to do anal with god to get more than two sauces at the chik fil a

*•*•*

Nanami, promptly after vacuuming: ohh i love a freshly shaved room

*•*•*

Gojo: you know what this dick needs? a tortilla

*•*•*

Inumaki: sorry babe no sex right now im trying to watch one piece

*•*•*

Utahime: what fun things did yall get for christmas?

Shoko: COVID 🕺💃

*•*•*

Yuji: do you remember mickey mouse club house?

Megumi: yea

Yuji: HOTDOG—

*•*•*

Megumi: i think my ex voice teacher is schizophrenic

*•*•*

Geto: this house smells like dookie donkey dick

*•*•*

Nobara: i was violently ill so i decided to lay on the bathroom floor where it is the safest

*•*•*

Inumaki: i have smoked a bowl and drank some coffee. im hoping to have a meeting with god before i talk to my therapist

*•*•*

Megumi: yalls wifi makes me wanna eat my own shit

*•*•*

*group of old ladies walks by*

Yuji, gasping: it's the golden girls!!

*•*•*

Nanami: a word being on the tip of your tongue is akin to edging

*•*•*

Gojo: you are the crack of my ass

*•*•*

Nanami: i used to collect pogs, do you remember those?

Yuji: .... phat ass white girls?

*•*•*

Toji: im doing a tea diet

Shiu: what does that entail?

Toji: an eating disorder probably

*•*•*

Nobara: im gonna die a slow suffocating pepper death

Yuji: if you die from a pepper the universe really had it out for you

Nobara: ok peanut allergy

*•*•*

Nanami: i often think about what if 9/11 happened two months earlier

Nanami: 7/11 would have woken up to a PR nightmare

*•*•*

Toji: how you gonna cheat on your girl with a limp dick?!

*•*•*

Gojo, lovingly: oh nanamin, what does the fox say?

*•*•*

Toji: im going to sleep i dont give a fucking flying fucking turtle shit

*•*•*

Geto: the most consistent panty dropper is not rizz, but closeted homosexuality

*•*•*

Yuji: i know what gets the bitches goin *turns on chowder*

*•*•*

Toji: you know that spoon keychain you got me?

Megumi: mhm

Toji: im so sorry but i definitely did cocaine off of it

*•*•*

Uraume: if you wanna find trans people go to hottopic

*•*•*

Shoko: nurse! scissor me!

*•*•*

*5am, packing a bowl*

Nobara: does this count as a wake n bake

Yuji: yes

Yuji: well if you never woke you never boke

*•*•*

Sukuna: if i bite into a burger and it cums in my mouth im shooting up the block

*•*•*

Yuji: omg whos calling me?

Nobara: your mom— oop...

Nobara: sorry

*•*•*

Nanami: let a man kiss his partners mons pubis what are you the cops?

*•*•*

Gojo after Geto sent him nudes: thank you for keeping my dick fat, youre like a son to me

*•*•*

Gojo: getting megumi to shower is a fight

Geto, looking him up and down: ... does that run in the family?

*•*•*

Shoko to Gojo: little is NOT how i would describe your eyes

*•*•*

Megumi: kendrick lamar stuck in my head

Yuji: just his face or,,,?

Megumi: his music???????

*•*•*

Nanami: not to be obscure but you guys cant translate the phrase "whore boy" like that

[kuni-is-daddy]

WORKING OUT WITH GOJO SATORU. X GN READER.

Ft: Teasing, grinding.

1.1k words of gojo thirsting for u.

Gojo x Female reader smut

WARNING: NSFW CONTENT.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

At first gojo would ask you to come along just so you can watch him dead lift 200+lbs(pounds) or even be his "spotter" so he 'wouldnt get hurt', the spotter part was your idea. But just the thought of watching gojo sweat and breathe heavy gave you butterflies in your stomach. If you two would go to a public gym gojo would 100% FLEX HIS ASS OFF. Lift 200lbs? Nah gojo's going to 400lb. It doesnt matter if these other 'people' look more 'ripped' then him. He'll show them up without a problem. "Yeah you like that baby?" He'd grunt mid lift. "F-fuck..Its all for you love~" You'd scold him for pushing himself too hard but he'd suck his teeth, pick you up without warning and carry you bridal style out the gym. Laughing as you'd punch at him to put you down because it was 'embarrassing'

Gojo who would also send you pictures and videos of him lifting. Captioning how he can't wait to show you his progress. Up close. He'd sometimes even wear more revealing. Clothes during missions you two got paired up in. Turning off his infinity just so the wind can blow through his shirt and reveal his abs. Only for Utahime and Nobara to scold him.

If he's deadlifting sometimes gojo would joke around and act like the weight was too heavy for him or he got gradually tired, it could even be considered as a test of trust the first couple of times he invites you over. He'd smile and blush at how you tried so hard to hold it up for him after he made 'pained grunts.' even using cursed energy slightly because it was too heavy for you. (Gojo was completely fine holding up that much btw). He'd yank the weight off of him. trying to 'catch his breath' only to see you running around the gym that you've never been too before, asking people where you can buy water and cold towels for him. And that was another moment when gojo truly fell in love with you

One day Gojo finds you in the gym before he is. Wearing clothes lighter/thinner then your average attire as you sat on your phone waiting for him to arrive. "Hm? I see you got here before me baby~" He'd walk up to you with his gym bag. Wearing a black tank top, shorts and his iconic shades. Gojo is so tall~ (around 6'3) so even when his body isnt flexed out he towers over you so easily. "Well..I was thinking of joining you this time toru~" you smirk while looking him up and down, watching as he takes off his shades and his beautiful blue eyes glow, Now looking at you with an intimate gaze.

Gojo didnt have a problem with whatever you we're trying to achieve at the gym for any reason. Be it for your mental health, For him, Or just for the sake of being fit or trying something new. He loved the idea of you even doing something as far as exercise because it meant you we're getting stronger. Just.. 'Not as strong as him' he'd chuckle to himself while watching you do warm ups...Specifically squats.

He'd count out how much your doing, constantly telling you to push yourself and keep going 'just f' me' Until eventually it looks like gojo is enjoying himself a little TOO much. He's paying so much attention to your ass and how you'd recklessly bounce up and down from how tired you we're getting. Imagining how you'd bounce on his cock while pleading for him to let you cum "T-toru! oh fuck toru~ please..im so close daddy.." "Hah..Your so fucking good for me, Milking my cock just like that.. Dont stop.." Gojo gets caught out of his hard daze when you stop exercising and just stare at him with your hands on your hips because he somehow went from the number 14 to 69- while counting.

Gojo would pout and tug at your arm for you to keep exercising because you look so fucking hot. "Cmon baby..I promise i wont look...so much.. kay? You just..Do what your doing over there and ill be over here lifting-" he'd smile and give you a thumbs up while scooting over to the weights. "okay toru~ if you say so..." You'd constantly stop mid set to take a peek behind you to see if gojo was being a pervert, But everytime you would he'd just look 'normal'. When in reality gojo was talking glances at you, lifting with one hand and rubbing against his clothed length with the other. Mumbling how good you looked for him, How your sweat coated your body so well, watching as you perked up your lips when taking a sip of your water. "Yeah baby..thats what im talkin about' Dont stop.. your doin so well... fuck yeah..sweat for me~" You'd look at him dumfounded and ask if he was alright. "Yeah baby im great~ you keep exercising for me alright? get that heart healthy f' me~ you and that good form of yours. So fucking good" He'd take off his shirt, his chest glistening and pumping out through his sweaty body. You'd choke on your water while examining his body. "heh..Like what you see baby? Didnt get these over night~" he'd place the weight down and begin walking towards you, Flicking his hands through his hair. "How about I give you a treat baby? You've been so good f' me, working so fucking hard~ how about i help you out.."

You would shyly look away, calling gojo distracting because you we're trying to 'focus' but he loved that even more~ how dedicated you we're..how persisent you we're..All for him. He'd pull you into a sloppy kiss, picking you up and sitting on the bench. Your hands would begin to trail along his chest, Feeling his hot body against your own. "You can touch this body all you want baby~ its all yours." he pulled away from the kiss, trailing his mouth along the side of your neck, sending you chills down your body. "T-toru..we shouldnt do it here..What if someone comes in and see's.." You'd tug at his sweaty warm body. "mmm good then baby, let them see. Want everyone to be fucking jealous. So dam lucky to have you in my life, love you so dam much~" Gojo began to bite at your shoulder, tugging at your top. "shit..Wanna take you on right fucking now y/n. Cmon~ let daddy touch you, let me reward you~"

Your shivered at how touch gojo began to get, Not even trying to hide it anymore as he shifted his hands down to your waist, Moving your body over so you'd grind right against him. "T-toru...Toru.." youd moan out his name. holding onto his built arms while the intense heat of the gym ambushed your body as you could feel gojo's pent up length now grinding on your. "fuck...Yes baby?" "T-touch me..please..i want it~" "oh yeah baby~ know' you wanted more. Addicted to this cock yeah? say how much you want it~" he laid his head back against the bench, slapping your ass while you grinded against his length. "G-Gojo~ please...oh shit..please~ I cant, I wanna cum~ I wanna cum for you gojo~ I want you so bad daddy~" "Fuck yeah..thats what i wanted to hear baby~ beg for me more like a slut while daddy rewards you~"

[theosconfessions]

---------------------------------------------------------------

if youd like to read the stephens from the beginning you can over here :)

if youd like to read the stephens continued you can over here:)

@ohsosims

river- i really missed you a lot.

blake- then its not just me [smirks] didnt wanna come off as a creep. so um. god youre insant to look at . gyatt!

river-theres no words for how much i hate when you say that.

blake- do you? then ill just say.god.fucking.damn.[leans in] am i readinng this wrong?

river- now right now

---bowchickawow-

river-...

blake-...

river- we um should get dressed before my parents walk in. or my sisters.

blake- pretty sure with how loud we were they know not to walk in here,man.

river-glares

blake- okay not in the mood for jokes. noted.

river- its just...i dont want to be like theo,man.

blake-dude youre not.

river- [grabs shirt] i am. i dont want to hurt anyone.

blake dude what are you saying?

river- we shouldnt have done that. i ruined everything.

blake-dude no! no no ! you didnt ruin anything.

river-youre my best friend blake.

blake- and youre mine? whats going on man. is it just..this [motions towards the couch]

river takes a deep breath

river- isla and i broke up last night. at least for now.

blake-oh i see.

river- no blake im so stupid. and im so sorry i do not want to hurt you.

blake- hey its um its cool man. if you dont want this to be anything then it doesnt have to be anything..seriously.

river- i ruined everything.

blake- hey stop saying that. you didnt ruin anything. i mean im crazy over your ass. i mean id let you punch me in the face everyday and id thank you for it but thats me. and my feelings are on me. not you. i dont want you to feel forced to make this something youre not into.

river-really?

blake- really.

river- this was a big deal to me too.

blake- no i know. total virgin[smirks] i could tell.

river- [laughs] back to normal then it seems ?

blake- yeah back to normal. of course

river- good.good. thank god. hey ima go to bed.so

blake- yeah ill crash out here. robins going to wake me up at like five am anyways

river- robin?

blake- yeah well im failing. shes been my tutor for a couple weeks now. big ass test.

river- oh i didnt know you guys hunt out

blake-thats because we dont. but we do study.

river- right. nerds

blake- course. well trying to be one. night riv

river-night blake.

[shinsouscatpisssmell]

Other woman

Pt.2

"Hey you there?!I-I'm pregnant." You sniffle into the phone. Eyes red and swollen from crying since you came home from the doctors' appointment. The one person who held your heart. The father of your future child was dead silent on the other end making the pit of anxiety that was in your stomach grow bigger. It makes your mind drift as you subconsciously rub your stomach.

To think it all started with just a few words.

"Hey you lost?" You look up at the the dark haired male who's hand is on your shoulder. Shaking you out of your thoughts.

"No, I just came looking for my friend. You might know him. He's name is Atsumu Miya? I'm trying to surprise him but I can't seem to find him." You place the picnic basket down and crack your back and hands from the heavy basket.

"You just missed him. He left like 5 minutes ago." You could feel his eye roll even though his face remained stoic as he huffed barely for you to hear it.

"Are ya serious? Imma kill that 'samu. Always givin' me the wrong information." you storm off to the double doors and tap your foot with heat to it pressing your phone against your ear.

" 'samu? Imma kill ya when i see ya just so you know. What do ya mean what do i mean? 'tsumu isnt here! Ya said they would still be practicin'. Im breakin all yer windows. What? Hes there? Ok ill see ya in 5. Better keep yer lips shut tight so this surprise aint spoiled. And fuck no my accent aint slippin." you press the end bottom and take a few breathes in and our before making you way over to the fox like man.

"thank you i found him. You can keep the basket...?" You pause for a name while handing him the brown woven basket.

"Rintaro. Suna rintaro" he said as he takes the basket from you making you smile.

"well rintaro. Suna rintaro. I better be going before I miss him again. I hope we cross paths again." Letting out giggles as you scamper away leaving the brown haired boy craving your presence more.

And more is what you gave.

It started when he asked for your name and number when you came with Osamu to one of his games. Looking so pretty in your jeans hugging your curves and cropped shirt. Soon becoming an inside joke between you two that pressed the boundaries of friendship and turned it into one of lovers.

"you're so beautiful (y/n). I want to marry you one day." he makes this promise under the moonlight laying kisses om your hands and rubbing your knuckles so tenderly like you were only his. Only meant to fit this two person sized puzzle.

It was two months later you started feeling sick. Throwing up with your tummy cramping from here to here and feeling like you would pass out. You waited to see blood appear due to it possibly just being the chance of your first day period cramps. It never showed up and a week past the day it was scheduled to start it never did.

This made you rush to the hospital with your two best friends in tow. asking the doctor if you had some sort of zombie disease making you throw up everything you eat.  He takes some of your blood and urine to test.

It seemed like hours before the test were done.

"all im sayin' is why did he have to take both yer blood and piss. Hes either a vampire or he has a piss kink.maybe both" atsumu comes up with his conspiracy theory as he gets smacked in the back of the head by osamu.

"He aint got no damn piss kink and he aint a vampire. Yer the reason why (y/n) asked that stupid ass question about zombie diseases." He clicks his tongue before going back to holding your hand rubbing it to calm you down.

"Well 'smau. Ya never know?! They're some real sickos out there that wants to get ahold of someone like , (y/n)'s, piss." He rubs the back of his head, "speakin of piss where'd Suna piss off too?"

"He hasn't been picking up my calls. I know he goes M.i.a sometimes but I'd rather have him here then piss kink boy." You laugh snuggling into Osamu's side as he makes you scoot over so he could sit on the bed with you.

"Watch. He's gonna come in here talkin only about your blood and it'll show yer doctor does indeed have a piss kink." He turns his nose upward and hmphs.

"C'mon and cuddle me 'tsumu. I need my piss hair friend to cuddle me with comfort." Osamu joining with you in laughing as his twin begrudgingly comes over grumbling.

There's 3 knocks on the door before you announce that they may enters. The doctor with the clipboard and a packet of stapled paper with material that clued to her side.

"We did some test on your blood and you're urine and congratulations ms.(l/n) you are pregnant." It felt like time stopped. The twins could feel you tense up.Atsumu coughing up a storm after swallowing his saliva the wrong way but still trying to comfort you while Osamu listened to what else the doctor said, " this is a packet of information on pregnancy. It contains what can and cannot be eaten,Exercises that would help , and trimester information. Right now she is still in first trimester and needs to be very careful with things and stress for they could be harmful to the babies."

"what about a-abortion?" you look at her with watery eyes as she look at your dishevled apperance.

"that is an option ms.(l/n). Take your time and consider it over and if you still want to go through it. We will set up a date when you come back." The doctor hands over the document and leaves the room.

You wait until she leaves to turn into a sobbing mess leaving stains onto Astumu's shirt who pats your back.

"cmon now (y/n). Ya heard the doc crying ain't good for you or the baby." you sniffle and dry your face letting the disgusted face of Atsumu make you laugh quietly.

"Are you gonna tell suna? He is the father right?" samu asked getting swatted by his twin.

"of cours' hes the father you tryna say my best friend hussy?"

"no you idiot. Im sayin' suna aint always around so maybe she looked for other people."

"yer calling her a hussy dumbass."

"piss hair."

"yer onigiri sucks."

And thats how you end up calling suna 12 times since you came back home. Silently crying as each time it went to voicemail was a stab in the gut while the knife twisted. You gave up after the 12th one just laying next to your phone bawling your eyes out until 30 minutes pass and you recieved a call for suna.

"Suna? Hey you there?" you called into the phone but only met with silence, "h-hey you there? I-im pregnant suna. I don't know what to do im ao scared. Please come over." you cry into the phone breathe hitching as you are met with a feminine voice.

"What's your name?" you could hear the crack in the female voice.

"my name is (y/n). Are you suna's friend? I-is he there?" you ask scarily heart pumping with adrenaline waiting for her awnser and soon flatlining when she gave it.

"I'm his wife of 2 yrs." she says and you stutter out a sorry and cry to her that you didn't know he was married.

"It's ok ,love. It's not your fault I put all the blame on him. W-would you meet me later this week? So we both can get some closure." You could hear her tears fall making your heart clench as you tell her yes. She hung up as soon as you could hear Suna in the background.

Now you where curled up with a pillow. Sitting alone with the thoughts of you were the home wrecker. The mistress. The other woman in suna's

An// this is a reupload 🫡

[sburbian-sage]

so i was gonna send this in last night but i decided to wait so i could proof read it and what not and now here i am basically re writing it

so first things first im gonna need you to have an open mind please, everything im about to say is gonna sound like bullshit, utter complete fucking bullshit and even if you dont believe me its still true because sburbs bullshittery seemingly knows no fucking bounds

there is currently a fucking massive void vessel above the session, like it vanishes into the ring on both sides and im sure it keeps going, brilliant white with leaf green highlights

was gathering some grist and it just fucking teleported it or some shit cause one second it wasn't there and then it was and it scared the fuck out of me

i spoke with the plant chick last night and while i learned some things it clearly wasn't enough because what the fuck is this?!

im hiding out of derse now and its just empty, there's no more of the little Carapacians, the 5 of our lands are also gone and i can see smaller ships going around frantically scanning local space so i assume they know i happened to get off land before it was taken (how do you take an entire land?!?!)

but before i get murderharvested or some shit here's what i was able to figure out

i managed to nab one of her computers and found that their language is seemingly similar to old alternian standard but it doesn't match to English at all and is more flowy? than jagged, as well as the letters seemingly having 2-5 characters stacked on one another, far beyond my translation capabilities

when i asked the difference between sessions she just said that there was less bees (what???)

didn't have enough time to see any structural changes from normal, other than more plants and things being kinda taller

when i asked culture questions she just laughed, called me a "curious cutie" (not sure i like how i feel about that) and said id learn soon which like FUCK ME was that a red flag apparently

not sure what to do anymore, im a rogue of void for fucks sake and even turning into nothing isn't enough to shake them, they find me within an hour and i have to flee, managed to pull off that teleportation trick that the other poster talked about but even that doesn't shake them, sending this out and then ill start moving again

ill keep in touch if i stay alive

I WAS JOKING. I WAS MAKING A JOKE WHEN I SUGGESTED SHE WAS TRYING TO CONTACT HOME BASE TO BOMB YOU GUYS TO OBLIVION AND DO GIGA-SPACE-COLONIALISM. I WASN'T MAKING A PREDICTION. FUCK.

And you are right, this does kinda sound like bullshit. There's mild precedent here, in that it is technically theoretically possible that before Entry happens and SBURB fucks an entire planet in half, that some of said homeworld's inhabitants might have boarded a ship, went into space, and managed to enter the Furthest Ring. I mean, that would require incredible foresight, highly advanced technology, surviving long enough despite the fact that the game is literally designed to kill non-players in the most ass-pull deus ex machina fashion possible, and that it is virtually impossible to enter the Furthest Ring without a Bargain. So it's a bit like sending Frosty the Snowman to the Sahara Desert to win a gladiator competition, and once he wins he has to do round two against a flamethrower squadron. Which is to say, I'll eat my own legs before I believe that you're being invaded by The Imperium of Man meets the fucking Vegandon from Johnny Test. Among the thousands of other severe questions this raises.

But on the off-chance that this isn't just a prank, here's my equally low-effort advice.

Running may not be able to solve your problems. You are a Rogue of Void who can teleport. This makes you THE most qualified person to break into their ship and sabotage the engines so shit explodes.

Running may be able to solve your problems. If you survive long enough, SBURB might suddenly remember that it's supposed to kill non-SBURB non-player entities, and so the flowery ground troopers might start tripping and shooting themselves in the fall, or the ship explodes anyway.

Threaten to Scratch the Session to get them to back off. It's basically the mother of all "I'm taking you all with me" threats, considering it will rewrite reality.

Actually, they might not know enough about the Scratch for that to intimidate them. Scratch anyway. Fuck these guys, they'll never suspect it and an alt-universe version of you gets the last laugh.

If they corner you, start coughing on them. If you win re-enacting the ending of War of the Worlds, that would be incredibly funny.

[mattslolita]

okayyy basically first period we had religious studies an cuz im just soo smart i got like 84 out of 96 on my christianity and islam paper. 😇we did the test before the holidays an they gave the results back ONLY now 😒 anyway thats completly irelevant... 🤣 but we hav a new seating plan AGAINNN and i sit next to my boyfriend woooo!! but.. he kept saying he was sleepy cuz he slept for 3 hours only. so he kept leaning on me and my teacher kept tellin him to get off of me 😭

then 2nd i cant even remeber what we had but the teacher gave him a detention cuz he had trainers on instead of "school schoes" LMAO! but the thing is they literally nike air forces like, jus got a logo an its an issue? same style shoes from fucking idk KICKERS 😭 would be PERFECTLEY fine! he was also in a bad mood cuz he dint sleep 😤 so he was arguin with him and ended up gettin taken out the class.. they srsly worry bout the stupidest things but things like bullying or EVEN racism r just IGNORED!!!!! for example one of my friends wears a hijab and theres this old ass teacher whos jewish (not an issue but it needs to be said for my point!)who keeps giving her dirty looks and saying things in arabic to her but she dont understand it? one boy who can understand him once said he told her she was "going to hell" and "following the wrong religion". LIKE? WHAT THE ACTUALLL FUCK? hes disgusting!!! hes also... got an israel flag in his classroom? like hows that even allowed? not even the point that i support palestine. its the fact theyre allowed to hav that in their room and its not an issue? cuz things like fucking voting for a new prime minister was kept secret by teachers cuz apparently they dont want "to influence us" but thats okay and wont influence ANYONE???? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE? yuckkk

then last period we had maths and my bf kept complaining that his head was hurtin and cuz the schl wont let u go to the ofice to get paracetamol or any medication during lesons, we bring our own.. (which SUPRISEEE!! is not allowed) and i went to give him one and this fucking bitch comes up to me and says that i should not be bringing that to school, who knows if that actually medicine, and that ill need to go the head teacher to explain y i decided do that as it was unsafe. 🤣 like 3 years ago they sent my friend home for taking paracetamol at schl cuz they thought he was gonna overdose? uhhh he had 1? 1!!!!!!! LMAO! he had a HEADACHE!! i said i wasnt going bc i dint actually DO anything and we would just waste time for literally no reason.. ofc she didnt like that and said i was talking back an being disrespectufl. i went but the head teacher kinda likes me so she said it was okay but i shouldnt do it again and i said i wouldnt (absolutle fucking lie) then when i came bakck my boyfriend took his water bottle and said to me "ive got vodka in here" and i said "thought u said u stopped all that" as A JOKE! bc i know he obviously DOES NOT hav vodka in his bottle LMAO. but this teacher was like "well now i need to smell it to see if ur being serious" he started laughing an got sent out 😭 its actually becoming an issue atp LOLL.

ughhh cant wait to leaveeee!!!!! and SORRY its SO LONG 🫢

good job on ur religions test love !! so proud of you 🫶

here they go messing w ur bf again😭😫 AND UNT UNT THAT TEACHER MESSING WITH UR ARABIC FRIEND ??? HE'LL REALLY CATCH THESE HANDS CAUSE YOU NOT FINNA GIVE POOKIE DIRTY LOOKS & TALK SHIT THE FUCK ?? AND HES A FUCKING ISRAEL SUPPORTER WHAT THE FUCK.

ur school is weird as fuck, like the rules & shit don't make no sense to me. anyone should be allowed to go to the medical office if their feeling sick or just not feeling well like wdf ??

[ilyconnie]

zari baby's bday event! @yourrfavzxri

“maybe we could go get coffee…tomorrow?” “yeah, i’d like that.” “you would?!? uh- i mean great, i’ll text you the details.”

levi x fem blk!reader (just a smidge ooc)

ahhh omgg im so honored to be in zari bae's prompt event!! happy birthday mami!! i hope you have an amazing birthday & that you enjoy this!! sol <3s you

levi was the famous ta (teacher's assistant) for your 12:30pm monday, wednesday, friday class on politics and government. he'd caught every girl's eye in the class he even had to sit in the back so they'd pay attention. even though he'd never admit it to anyone but himself, he didn't mind sitting in the back.. cause that's where you happened to sit.

somehow, he always seemed a bit distant..but close at the same time. he would never go out of his way to speak to you (he barely spoke unless through email in your class anyway but yk), but even while he never approached you, his "unassigned assigned" seat was conveniently placed diagonally behind you.

he'd peek over onto your computer to see your notes and make sure you didn't fall behind, when he handed out the scantron bubble tests your professor would assign he'd take his time to personally hand you yours with a quiet almost nonexistent "good luck" to go along with it.

he never directly spoke to you besides you consistently asking him if he happened to have a pen or a spare highlighter so you could annotate your textbook in class. and even then, he never really said anything.. just a quick nod and then he'd rummage through his bag and hand you what you asked for. he even found himself putting together a personal area in his bag just for pens and highlighters and sticky notes for when he knew he'd see you.

even with all this aside, he was never the type to go and approach a girl to ask her out, but he knew with the semester ending if he didn't act now, when was the next time he'd see you? he had to make a move before it was too late and he was just some ta you had for some politics class.

so he mustered up the courage one day to catch you on your way out from class. you were dressed up all cute, like always, and he decided today was the day.

during his normal peek over to you, around the end of class, he leaned a bit over his table and said in his most confident voice he could do.

"hey y/n?"

turning over your shoulder, a bit surprised since this is the first time he'd ever addressed you, let alone used your name. (you lowkey assumed he didn't know it LMAOO).

"hm? yes? did you need something? i have an extra pen if you need it?"

he lightly breathed out in a way that could be perceived as a laugh.. for him i guess.

"oh no.. i didn't need anything.. i was just thinking.. maybe we could go get coffee…tomorrow?”

even while taken aback a bit, you immediately responded, “yeah, i’d like that.” because not only was this THEEE famous ta of your class, but he'd also never spoken to you in a way that wasn't initiated by you first. you'd be lying if you said you weren't attracted to him, and you'd be lying even more if you said this wasn't something you'd at least wanna try

somehow he was even more shocked than you were, “you would?!? uh- i mean great, i’ll text you the details.”

"how are you going to text me when you don't even have my number? you gonna email the details to me?" joking lightly you giggled at the idea of your ta emailing you the specifics of this.. date? yeah i guess it was a date

"i could if that's what you want?"

"here ill give you my number.. actually do you have a sticky note i can write it on?"

[radiation]

hello! i just wanted to say following you for memes and silly goofy haha stuff ive come to realize how insanely talented you are at game design and rpgmaker and just wanted to let you know youve been a huge inspiration to me!! Speaking of rpgmaker, would you perhaps have any words of advice to people wanting to make games in that engine for the first time? ty!!

I keep forgetting to answer this but this is so sweet ;_; thank you so much for the kind words!!! It always makes me really happy when someone follows me for either Joke posts or Art/gamedev stuff and then realizes i do the other half too, and ends up liking that stuff as well. Its super fun

And Im not sure if youll see this but i'll offer my thoughts on RPGmaker too. Ill be repeating a lot of stuff ive said on da blog before but hopefully its still helpful and is more specific to this particular question

So as for RPGmaker, regardless of the version you use -- I use MV, but research and figure out whats best for you -- Id honestly just recommend screwing around in the engine. Start off making junk test projects where you just have fun testing different features. RPGMaker is pretty unique in that its a very "exploratory" engine to learn, theres a lot of tools there for you by default that you dont need coding knowledge to understand, and its really fun to familiarize yourself with them. So its easy and fun to spend a bunch of time making a bunch of horseshit that you dont plan on putting in an actual game as a way of learning

These are the tutorials i watched to figure out rpgmaker MV, very simple and fun. Id recommend just going thru something like these and making doo doo projects to see how it works. Like for example I relearned the engine by making shit like this using default assets. its way too fun.

Once youre essentially familiar with how the engine works and youre like "hey why cant i do this extremely basic thing in the engine already" id suggest searching for plugins! Theyre scripts other people have made that expand what you can do in the engine. Here are all of the ones i use for my game.

I say thsi a lot but i think the most important thing as an RPGmaker developer, particularly one not super versed in coding, is planning your games around what the engine does best and what plugins you know are available. RPGmaker is very good at making what it expects you to wanna make. Its very bad at doing anything else. So if youre like "im gonna make this cool minigame" or "Im gonna make this crazy looking UI" and plan your game around the idea youll achieve those things its gonna be very very difficult for you to do that unless you get a programmer on board. And itll probably be kind of a pain for the programmer as well. Research how feasible it is to get a particular function in the game before you become married to that idea

Also as i always say, i really recommend starting with a tiny project! like take your conception of what a "small project" is and imagine it so much smaller that it seems ridiculously tiny and simple. And youll find that that alone takes way more work than you anticipated. But dont let any of this dissuade you too much, the most important thing is doing *anything* in the engine (and having fun with it). Its great to finish projects but if you end up not finishing one then its ok, you still learned a bunch from doing that

[istherewifiinhell]

Least funny joke anyones ever told

Little bastard had to choose today. Thats gonna be a fun one. Just like. In general. I got to talk to a very nice vet. Cause our point person at the hospital is doing. Hmm. Poorly. Couldnt get facetime working. Techincal difficulties. Of all the times. But anyway, was looking for guidance on information they couldnt well communicate. And it was. Overnighting for more tests. Or... So i talked to a very nice vet. Cause thats what i do. Lifter of dead cats and talker to vets.

Well. Very nice vets like to give you options. And like to be gentle. And like to emphasis the emotional attachment you have to the animal. Listen pal. I know I love him and I held him at eight weeks. As big a melon. Whole body the size is head is now.

But I think I almost heard relief in their voice as i was chasing the answers. So it doesnt look good. So even if you did more tests. Your not optimistic. So you think he'd suffer less. Yeah. Yeah.

Damn place is 2 hours away. Do i wanna say goodbye. Obviously. Or well. I thought. I do think. But I'm not making anyone do that. Do I wanna see him ill. Do i wanna see the body. I keep thinking of the last one.

Im told its understandable if wouldn't want to. I'm told it was horrible how long we spend in the room last time. I'll let em think that. But part of me. Well you can't beat the emotional surety of that. Oh believe me, I've been thinking. We'd have to have him sleep eventually. In the course of time. I cant imagine anything more horrible than a 95 pound dog dying in your house. But I won't see him now. And I don't know if I'll see him later. And. I certainly don't want to collaspe at an animal hospital tomorrow. If it were an option.

So. Let's just ride this out. Wait however long it takes to hit me this time.

Apologies to the well wishers. I do appreciate what ya said.

[dullahandyke]

Hang on actually before I hit post limit.pinned post so I can edit this and have my tumblr thoughts even tho I'm post limited

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6.40PM

Yup okay hit the post limit <3 new followers please know this is normal

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6.47PM

Anonymous asked: did they put bugs in him again

Yknow it's hard to tell but I think they might have. Guys we need to get riku dewormed again, this keeps happening to him :(

Anonymous asked: I forgot I had notifs turned on for your blog . Oopsie daisy

HAHAAAAAAAA ANON I CACKLED.... flattered u have urgent coverage on which large surface I'm thinking abt being slammed into at any given time but ig this is an object lesson in paying too much attention to me or something

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8.06PM

Listening to a queer history podcast and it's so funny they're explaining to me what yuri is... I know ❤

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8.14PM

on my laptop now bcos i gotta study for this stupid test..d. and then afterwards theres a powerpoint im actually rlly gonna enjoy presenting but i gotta facking put it together, augh

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8.51PM

niche complaint but it sucks shit when animanga do the 'character suddenly becomes hot as part of a daydream/joke' gag and they dont go full bishie. give that man a delicate jawline NOW!!!

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9.13PM

really happy with this sticker on my laptop. whenever im feeling down i just rememebr that this man got a lobotomy

[ID: a black frame meme featuring Hajime Hinata from Super Danganronpa 2 at the chapter 1 cabin party, smiling and holding a glass of orange juice. It is captioned, "This man, got a lobotomy.]

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9.18PM

whew im a sneezy girl. the sneezing sneasler. wait thats a pokemon. ritalin on friday unless i have a heart murmur

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9.37PM

@effervescentleaf asked:

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9.39PM

i know im constantly posting abt my beard but its still weird as hell to consider that i have a beard that other people can see. when people look at me they see androgyny. what the fuck. i keep being drawn to people with beards and make-up/long hair/jewelry/whatever the fuck else as my favourite examples of gender non-conformity and like. IM that. im that with my stupid eyeliner. what the shit

also that reminds me im not gonna have time to do my eyeliner before my class test tomorrow :/ now i Could just go without it bcos i'll have a presentation later in the day that i should probably be serious for. but where is the fun in that. i will be wearing a hawaiian shirt instead of a t-shirt and thats all that can be expected of me <3

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9.55PM

i probs need to eat a proper meal but the call of pop tarts it is so great.... sighhhh i got the bread out the freezer for soup so ill see if thats defrosted. and if not. squints. cup noodles. kinda want the cup noodles anyway but the soup is gonna expire soon so i gotta be fuckinnn responsible and nutritious or whatever

sidenote i kind of rlly enjoy having just one long ledger of posts all day. kind of fun

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11.51PM

Ugh fuck my gay life I gotta make a PowerPoint... I'm tired I'm a bit sick i gotta sleeeep... wanted to make it fancy but ig that's fucked :(

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12.01AM

I saw a video of a cat and now I miss bubbles :( bubblesssss... I'm going home tomorrow tho so I'll see her then :)

[stunie]

Hello darlingest Evie I saw you spoiling everyone with selfship questions so I have to throw some right back at you 🥺 I must have more Umie lore!!

What’s your favorite ways to make each other laugh? If you’re having a bad day or even just you wanna put a smile on the other’s face. Are there corny jokes or little pokes to the side or even grabbing one of your stuffies and pretending to be the voice for it and asking for a smooch?

Is there a signal you guys have when either of you are out and about and eveything’s just too much(like overstimulated or just drained socially?) Like a “get me out of here” kinda thing or is it just direct and verbal?

What’s your favorite way to kiss each other? Position, soft or hard, slow or fast, etc. and where the kiss is, if it’s not on the lips.

If you guys switched bodies for the day, how would it go and could people tell immediately?

and one more for good measure: If you were to have a soulmate au with him what would the prompt be? (ex. you cant see color until you meet them, or you have the first works they said to you on ur body somewhere etc.) like what would be your ideal for it?

MARI !! oo hehe you witnessed my raid on everyone’s inbox last night >:^) agahahaha that the most fun i’ve had in ages. it will happen again ^ ^ ahahhehehehe

making each other laugh !! i think i laugh at everything!! tis not a difficult thing for him to do. although i laugh at reactions the most!! i like to tell him very outrageous things to get an “EH?! REALLY?!” and then be like “no. i made that up.” hehe. and he pulls at my cheek like “you really scared me there!” ^ ^ if im sad, we’ll put on those lil horror story compilations !! i start laughing whenever he gets all stressed with the op, he’ll have his head in his hands and all. as for me making HIM laugh, i have a saved folder on my ig of ume laughter fuel !! >:))

overstim aaaaa. i love being out. HOWEVER. i get physically tired .. like i wanna fall asleep but i don’t wanna leave yet > < usually at that point ill tug on his sleeve and he can tell by the look on my face !! for ume… whenever he wants to go home, he wraps his arms around my middle and rests his chin on my shoulder with a heavy sigh— and that’s how i know he’s tired:>

kisses !! i get flustered if i’m on the receiving end. but i love to squeeze his cheeks together and kiss him like that !! or when im laying on him, lots of neck kisses !! nothing suggestive, it’s just the skin that’s right in front of me :> FOR HIM. I GET NERVOUS SNSNS BUT HE DOES THE LOUD MWAAAAAs all over my face and i get so red and >/////< like this ?! ?!

switching bodies. i would go for a deadlift max. you’re telling me i have his body ?! let’s test the strength here. i’m dying to know! as for ume, he gave it away so fast. WHY IS HE SITTING LIKE THAT!! IM EXPOSED. u can’t sit like that when you’re wearing a miniskirt ume !!!

SOULMATE AU ?! it has to be the one where you have the first words written somewhere on your arm. i think the first meeting would be so funny! we both speak and then our faces fall into a :O EHHHH ?????? AND THEN EXCITEMENT HITS !!!!