#<- idk what other word to use

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[jadewritesficshere]

Steddie soulmate AU where Eddie is a famous musician, everyone assumes he doesn't have a soulmate. Eddie was just smart and doesn't confirm, doesn't want to go through rabid fans who claim to be his soulmate. He's had too many show up wearing his initials they tattooed on themselves even before he was asked about soulmates in an interview.

Enter Steve Harrington who works as a nurse. Just casually on his third nightshift in a row in the ER. Sipping some coffee trying not to fall asleep when they get the call about some confidential patient coming in.

Eddie comes in for some injury. Steve has 0 clue who he is, just says "You look familiar, did we go to school together?" And Eddie practically falls off the stretcher at Steve's feet. Goes all googoo eyes at him. Steve being mildly concerned because Eddie's heart rate keeps skyrocketing (its because Steve is touching him).

One of the other nurses can't help but try and get the gossip from Steve, who is very much confused as to why she cares about this random patient. She tells Steve who Eddie is, and he's just like ???? Okay???

Steve doesn't admit it but the picture she shows is HOT. It's Eddie, flipping off the camera, tongue out. He's covered in tattoos, including the word 'sorry' written in a weird script on his middle finger. He's shirtless and his pants are so low that Steve can see the dip of his hips creating a v and-

Steve has to walk into the supply room to get himself under control. Pretends it doesn't mean anything and goes back to his job as his heart thuds rapidly in his chest.

Eddie tries not to pass out when they draw his blood, Steve holds his hand. It feels right. Eddie can't help wanting to ask," Hey, do you have a soulmate?" But he hates being asked that question, so he won't.

Until Steve bends over, his scrub top lifting up slightly. Eddie can't help glancing at his ass, but then he can't breathe. Because on his lower back is the initials EJM.

"Steve G. H?" Eddie asks as his voice goes up an octave. Steve turns, bewildered ," How did you-?" "Edward James Munson." Eddie whispers.

Oh

[the-way-astray]

i agree with some things here and disagree with others. but i think the heart of my problems with keefe come down to one thing: shannon's intentions with his character. this will be very long. sorry if this is weird or if you didn't expect a response but. here it is lmfao

"Nevertheless, I don’t disagree with the people who say that Keefe isn’t the awesome person Sophie’s (biased) opinion makes him out to be. Not for the manipulative reasons -- which, Keefe is a teenage boy and I don't know about anyone else but that is like THE demographic for being a little messy in relationships lmao -- but for a lot of his planning. Joining the Neverseen without telling anyone what his plan was? Proposing himself as Mercadir without giving anyone a chance to refute him? Lying at the end of Legacy and showing up to the confrontation even though it was explicitly agreed he'd stay back? Basically, everything he did in Lodestar? Not great."

one thing i think i really disagree with is when people excuse a character's actions based on age. like, yes, some actions can be, but not others. saying being manipulative is normal or at least dismissible just because keefe's a teenager feel weird to me. and even if it is normal, it should at least be acknowledged by someone, and if it isn't it just comes across like shannon fully intends for us to perceive it as okay. personally, i don't know many manipulative teenagers the way keefe's manipulative. and if you bring up his childhood for his messed up view of how to use his empathy, well that only goes so far.

in legacy, for example, fitz was literally writhing and twisting in keefe's grip trying to get away from him. that's like. not a subtle thing. that's very much something any decent person would take notice of. instead, keefe ignores it entirely. i think there's a point at which you can tell keefe just doesn't care about his friends' feelings. like, that was such an obvious "i don't want this, get the hell off of me, keefe" moment, there's not really a way to justify it with some "oh, he's a confused teenager" stuff.

my problem is, once again, in the framing. this action is framed as a perfectly reasonable and acceptable thing to do, is never questioned by the narrative, has no consequences for keefe whatsoever, and is easily swept under the rug. this is one example, but bigger and smaller shitty things keefe does get the same treatment.

as for all those other things you mentioned, you'll notice none of those things get any lasting consequences. there's never any damaged relationship that comes out of it, or any plot-related consequence. with the double agent thing: no damaged relationship (except fitz, who is disregarded at best and villainized at worst), no plot consequence (such as the neverseen being able to get into the cache he handed over, for example, which would be disastrous and entirely keefe's fault). same thing with the dimitar thing. you could argue that he does seem to apologize and that sophie does break things off with him for a bit, but then after his apology, that's just reset right back to zero. there's never a sense that that incident actually impacted how sophie sees keefe in the long-term. he just apologizes and boom, sophie trusts him completely again. and then the apology is entirely undone when he makes the same mistake again: legacy. hijacking a shared plan for his own, and this time it's not even talked about at all after he wakes up, besides once when he tells sophie he shouldn't have gone. but this is more a sense of "i shouldn't have gone because look what happened to me" than it is a sense of "i shouldn't have gone because it wasn't right to betray everyone's trust like that". (the same is true for the nightfall incident, keefe apologizes more out of a feeling of "i shouldn't have done that because sophie got mad at me" than he does out of a feeling of "i shouldn't have done that because i betrayed sophie's trust in me". in other words, the apology doesn't come from self-reflection or a true desire to change, but rather from the external consequences of his actions.) once again, no lasting character consequences (meaning nobody's mad at him despite him betraying their trust), no relationship wound, no sense of distrust, no nothing. you could argue that there's plot consequences (his new abilities thing) but then that does nothing for his arc because in the end, he once again runs away without consulting a single other person, which is the exact same mistake he's been making the entire series.

"But that's his role. Keefe was literally designed to occupy this grey, questionable space, both in the narrative and outside of it."

right there is where you lost me. i talked about this a lot in my rant, but shannon does not want you to see keefe as a morally grey guy (in my opinion). you are very much supposed to see him as a perfect angel (minus the recklessness, a character flaw, not a moral flaw). that's why all his tinier (and larger, honestly) "bad" actions are swept under the rug with no consequences and why he goes on entire monologues on how much sophie deserves whoever she chooses. he's the perfect angel, entirely devoted to sophie, perpetually concerned with sophie, always there for sophie. he's never morally in the wrong, even when he is. his sense of right and wrong is never to be questioned.

"Lady Gisela's plan revolves around pushing Keefe to become a worse and worse person; that involves raising him in a way that cultivates bad behavior and forcing him into increasingly extreme situations that are designed to make Keefe "ready" when the time comes."

i think that's what shannon was going for. truly, i do think so. the problem is with execution. keefe is never portrayed as anything other than pure, flawless good (i'm talking morally here). whenever he does do morally shitty things, it's clear we aren't supposed to see them as morally shitty things, and instead as him just being entirely devoted to sophie. when he tears dex and fitz down. when he breaches boundaries. when he becomes obsessed with sophie. these are all meant to be seen as him just being in love with sophie (i don't think he's in love with sophie but that's another debate) and aren't supposed to be seen as character flaws. they aren't supposed to be in any way connected to his legacy or the way his parents raised him (specifically his mom). they are just bad traits, and the problem is that they are never made out to be that way.

"Admittedly, I don't think Shannon has made him evil/grey enough, which I know isn't a popular take. There was real potential to make Keefe a wild card in Lodestar and make it so that the question isn't what stupid scheme is he planning? but to what extent have Lady Gisela's machinations worked? It's an interesting plotline to me."

100% agree here. keefe during lodestar is the real test, i think. shannon should've leaned way more into the potential of that plotline. i feel like if shannon truly wanted us to perceive keefe as a morally grey guy, she'd have made him do something you can't come back from in that book. something that tilts the stage, makes us all wary. because if he could do that, just to prove to the neverseen he's one of them, what else could he do?

unfortunately, i never see that sort of commitment from shannon, and because she is so obsessed with needing keefe to be a perfect angel love interest, it actively takes away from what his character could be. keefe never does anything irredeemable while he's with the neverseen (i'm talking like, helping or at least not actively hindering the neverseen while they carry out a torture or murder scheme). the only things he does are be really stupid (again, not a moral failing, just a character failing), and even those stupid things never have any real consequences. he never goes through any sort of moral conundrum. there's never a point where sophie doesn't trust him (past the first couple of chapters) to be perfectly good. keefe never confesses he did something so undeniably horrible to sophie that she starts wondering is keefe's time with the neverseen changing him? is he a good guy anymore? none of that, at all. sophie thinks of keefe as maybe a stupid, reckless guy who doesn't know what he's doing, but she never, past her initial doubt in the first few chapters, questions whether his morals, his sense of right and wrong, may be affected by the neverseen.

this is what sophie says about keefe. "yeah, his plan maybe a bit reckless, and we'll probably have to bail him out, but he's not ever going to be morally wrong". she says this after two conversations with keefe, one in-person, one telepathic. and then this belief is never questioned, not for the entire book. keefe never does anything that has sophie, even for a minute, thinking hey, keefe, that was kinda . . . morally questionable. the most she thinks is "his stupidity's going to get him killed". and i think that truly, truly takes away from what keefe could've been. he could've been less sophie's perfect love interest that does everything for her and more wow, this guy . . . he really could do anything, couldn't he?

"But a lot of people don't feel this way. A ton of the complaints I see around the book have to do with Keefe getting too much page time, the plotline taking up too much space in the story, etc. Which is fair! If you don't like Keefe, I'm sure a lot of this is grueling."

in and of itself, i'm not mad about keefe getting too much page time. my problems arise with the way he's executed (very poorly, in my opinion). my line of thinking is, if shannon's going to insist that keefe get so much page time, she should at least do something with all that page time. but she doesn't. so that is where my frustration comes from.

"The decreased page time of supporting characters isn't solely because Keefe is eating the narrative, but because there are way too many characters for everyone to get a subplot; rather than have pre-existing characters solve issues, Shannon tends to just pull new ones in, and then leave them to hang out for the following books."

agreed. keefe isn't the only reason keefe gets so much page time, ironic as it is. there's definitely the whole too many characters thing that's going on. but i think, as an author, if you pull in so many characters that you end up with a group like that, it's your job to do them all justice. doing a character justice doesn't mean they need a whole lot of page time. but they do need some page time, something to flesh out their character. and i think because (in my opinion) keefe and sophie spend a lot of time having the same exact conversation over and over in different fonts and never getting anywhere or developing, it feels repetitive and boring, and you can't help but think, what if this time went to a different character instead? we could do something that feels new and fresh. and i think shannon herself understands this. she as good as told us in legacy that the reason she created team valiant was to give those characters more page time (something i don't think she succeeded at, but whatever) and to flesh them out a bit. but once again, too much keefe eats up any room for the other characters.

"A lot of the nostalgia for this old version of KOTLC presents itself in fandom discussions of Dex. Full transparency: I didn't really like Dex that much in the early books when I did my reread. I found him unbearably rude to Fitz and Biana. His crush on Sophie felt invasive at times as if she was catering to a boy that was projecting his feelings and making her accommodate him. It's very similar stuff to the current criticism of Keefe!"

i'm not exactly what i'd call a fan of dex either, and i sort of agree, sort of disagree here. absolutely, he was rude to fitz and biana. although, shannon made it very clear that it was a product of his upbringing and that it wasn't a good thing. as the series progresses, dex realizes that he was kind of a dick toward fitz and biana (and they realize the same thing too), and it all come to a head in neverseen where he apologizes to fitz. the narrative never, ever makes out his rudeness as anything other than that: rudeness. it treats it like the flaw it is, gives it an arc, and brings the arc to a close. and even if dex had never warmed up to fitz and biana, the narrative would've never let him off the hook for his rudeness. it would always be portrayed as the flaw it is. and that's why dex, in my opinion, is at least a better written character than keefe.

as for the whole crush on sophie thing, definitely some jealousy of fitz was mixed in there. i personally don't think jealousy itself is a flaw. it's more of a feeling. it's what you choose to do with those feelings that defines whether or not it's a flaw. but yeah, dex was rude and possessive of sophie, so his jealousy was definitely a flaw. but i don't think sophie ever really catered to those feelings? i'd say dex did treat sophie like trash sometimes, ironically because of his crush on her and because of his jealousy of fitz, but like, all that is always made out to be not a good thing. i'd argue dex had the same expects-sophie-to-end-up-with-him-one-day narrative in his head that keefe had, but it's better because he's proven wrong, and he grows out of it. keefe doesn't. so yes, it's the exactly the same criticism as the one of keefe, except that isn't actually the reason people criticize keefe. the actual criticism of keefe is actually that keefe never faces consequences for those things and is never proven wrong by the narrative for those things. instead, his worldview is propped up and encouraged.

while i personally find dex almost as annoying a character as keefe for personal reasons, i don't think i could argue that he's poorly written the way i could argue keefe is poorly written, because he actually grows out of his flaws/learns from them/realizes he's wrong/develops and changes/the narrative portrays him as wrong when he does those things. and that is the key difference.

"But I have yet to see any discussions around Dex that don't characterize him as kind, goofy, or sweet. Maybe there is some discussion of him being snarky or sarcastic. The most criticism I've seen of him is about how he treated Stina in his introduction, which was taken largely in isolation."

i, personally, don't talk about dex a lot because as i've said, i don't really like him, but i also can't make the argument that he's not well-written. so there isn't much to say about him. he's fairly uninteresting to me. he doesn't get enough page time to do anything real interesting with him, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, because he's fleshed out and i'd say shannon did him justice. but it also means he isn't really a favorite of mine or a lot of people. he's just there.

(for the record, i disagree with the notion that he was in the wrong with that incident with stina, which i've talked about before. i think he was fully justified there.)

"And I don't believe that he disappeared from the books in the way that some people claim. He just... doesn't have a subplot anymore. His crush on Sophie was resolved. It was a sticking point in his and Sophie's friendship which made him part of her character arc, and that arc is done. If that went on for any longer, it would be a drag on the pace of the series."

i think he did disappear from the series, or at least, he isn't in it as much as he used to be. and i think just because he doesn't have a crush on sophie anymore, doesn't mean he can't be there? shannon would just have to give him something else to work through in terms of character arc. she didn't, so he's kind of just there. unfortunately, that means i agree with you. it would be a drag on the plot if he were given more page time, because he's not working through anything, so any page time he got would just be him bantering or something. so dex has some wasted potential there, too, and i wish it were tapped into but alas.

personally, i'm not really so much a proponent of the whole "dex should get more page time" thing as i am a proponent of "group dynamics outside of sokeefe should get more page time". i think the other members of the crew should be more fleshed out, explored more. i think their dynamic with sophie and each other should be more obvious and have basis some actual basis in canon. i think the cast in general is a massive waste of potential. it could be cool to see to see them be more three-dimensional-ized.

as for nostalgia, yeah, i think that's a part of it, certainly. but i also think there's a valid reason to say "i wish keefe had less page time" other than "i just want to see more ensemble cast". i genuinely think there's an argument to be made that throwing all those characters out there and doing nothing with them is the pinnacle of wasted potential. so i think people are just frustrated shannon is forsaking all that for more sokeefe conversations that feel really repetitive, if you ask me. this entire response isn't really a rebuttal, because i agree with a lot of things you said, but i think there's definitely something to be said about the abundance of keefe in the series.

tagging @myfairkatiecat because it is only fair after you requested this word vomit lol

The thing about Keefe not being a good person is a little complicated. Full disclaimer, I don’t really believe in the whole good/bad person dichotomy, and definitely not for KIDS. Nevertheless, I don’t disagree with the people who say that Keefe isn’t the awesome person Sophie’s (biased) opinion makes him out to be. Not for the manipulative reasons -- which, Keefe is a teenage boy and I don't know about anyone else but that is like THE demographic for being a little messy in relationships lmao -- but for a lot of his planning. Joining the Neverseen without telling anyone what his plan was? Proposing himself as Mercadir without giving anyone a chance to refute him? Lying at the end of Legacy and showing up to the confrontation even though it was explicitly agreed he'd stay back? Basically, everything he did in Lodestar? Not great.

It's not Certified Good Guy Behavior. But that's his role. Keefe was literally designed to occupy this grey, questionable space, both in the narrative and outside of it. He's Sophie's character foil. Lady Gisela's plan revolves around pushing Keefe to become a worse and worse person; that involves raising him in a way that cultivates bad behavior and forcing him into increasingly extreme situations that are designed to make Keefe "ready" when the time comes. That is a huge part of the plots of Nightfall and Legacy.

Admittedly, I don't think Shannon has made him evil/grey enough, which I know isn't a popular take. There was real potential to make Keefe a wild card in Lodestar and make it so that the question isn't what stupid scheme is he planning? but to what extent have Lady Gisela's machinations worked? It's an interesting plotline to me. It's why I'm so excited for Unraveled; it's a chance to see this push-pull in action without Keefe's "north star" (AKA Sophie) guiding his decisions.

But a lot of people don't feel this way. A ton of the complaints I see around the book have to do with Keefe getting too much page time, the plotline taking up too much space in the story, etc. Which is fair! If you don't like Keefe, I'm sure a lot of this is grueling. However, a point I see connected to this line of thought is a wish for the books to return to a more ensemble vibe. That there should be more Dex, more Biana, more Stina, more Tam, etc. the way that it used to be.

That version of the books, though? It only really exists in the first book. Keefe is a prominent character in Exile and a huge driver of its plot. It's only in Book One where he only exists on the margins and isn't super involved. The ensemble cast has grown exponentially since then, to the point where there are frankly too many characters to keep track of in a scene without straight-up listing them all (which did happen but I'm forgetting which book). The decreased page time of supporting characters isn't solely because Keefe is eating the narrative, but because there are way too many characters for everyone to get a subplot; rather than have pre-existing characters solve issues, Shannon tends to just pull new ones in, and then leave them to hang out for the following books. If the series was for a more adult audience, I would say that it was time to start killing people off (like the popular critique of The Boys) but because this is a kids series, they're going to just hang around and not do much.

A lot of the nostalgia for this old version of KOTLC presents itself in fandom discussions of Dex. Full transparency: I didn't really like Dex that much in the early books when I did my reread. I found him unbearably rude to Fitz and Biana. His crush on Sophie felt invasive at times as if she was catering to a boy that was projecting his feelings and making her accommodate him. It's very similar stuff to the current criticism of Keefe! But I have yet to see any discussions around Dex that don't characterize him as kind, goofy, or sweet. Maybe there is some discussion of him being snarky or sarcastic. The most criticism I've seen of him is about how he treated Stina in his introduction, which was taken largely in isolation.

But that sweet, goofy version of Dex that people talk about missing? He doesn't exist. Sure, Dex mellowed out a ton in the later books, but he didn't become a whole new character. And I don't believe that he disappeared from the books in the way that some people claim. He just... doesn't have a subplot anymore. His crush on Sophie was resolved. It was a sticking point in his and Sophie's friendship which made him part of her character arc, and that arc is done. If that went on for any longer, it would be a drag on the pace of the series. Like I said before, the presence of so many side characters, each with their own needs and motivations, makes it difficult to introduce him into new stuff. It's why he gets so much more page time in Unlocked. With the presence of so many other characters, Shannon tends to handwave a lot of the background group dynamics. Dex ended up becoming close to Keefe and was able to shine there, away from Sophie's perspective and their finished arc.

All of this is to say, it's not wrong to dislike Keefe or like Dex. But I think a lot of the conversations surrounding these guys can get muddled in nostalgia and what people think the books should be rather than what they are. I'm (severely) guilty of it too. It's part of a broader trend in fandoms as "fandom" as a concept becomes more popular. That is a whole other post, though, and frankly, this one is long enough lol

[multiversal-pudding]

A fun Danny Phantom idea:

One of those “mediums tormented by the fact they can’t turn Off the ability to see ghosts” types moves to Amity, and for the most part, it’s great! Like yeah maybe there’s still ghosts everywhere, but now they can react normally, because finally for once in their life everyone else sees the ghosts too. Granted, judging from what everyone else says it sounds like they’re seeing significantly tamer humanoid proper-manifestations than the near-incomprehensible masses of emotion, spectral energy, and whatever that particular spirit’s associated with they’re used to seeing, but eh- between how jaded they are to seeing stuff like that after all these years and the fact that in practice the response of “GTFO” tends to be applicable regardless of whether you’re dealing with a poltergheist in overalls who likes hucking boxes at people, a giant robot guy who’s yelling about world domination, or reality breaking fever dream vomit, it’s not too big a deal

…There’s just ooooone little problem

Which is that when people look at the Fenton’s youngest kid and when people see local town hero/cryptid The Phantom, clearly everyone ELSE is seeing two different people/entities, but in their case, all they see is the same wild plasma-lightning living tear in reality either way, and they’re afraid if they mix the two “identities” up they’re either A) gonna fuck up some poor kid’s life/put him and those around him in danger, B) piss off a very powerful spirit whose repeatedly proven why that’s a very bad idea, or C) both-

(Bonus points if it’s some completely mundane guy like Ted the Bus Driver/ the county deputy in training/ some poor janitor who’d be reasonably expected to come in contact with either one fairly frequently-)

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[harmonictechnicality]

It’s the way Steve places a pin in that damn map of Hawkins. Two fingers, muddy knuckles. Fuck if Eddie knows the actual destination because all he can navigate is the curve of Steve’s index finger as he smooths out the edges of the map.

And it’s stupid, right? Because the world is folding in on itself and he’s looking at a guy in the kind of way Victorian novelists would only describe as ‘longingly.’ It’s objectively stupid. Probably some adrenaline bullshit that a doctor could explain with a brain scan.

The rest of the group has scattered, plotting amongst themselves. Pulling plans out of their asses. Finding layers of courage behind clues and cassette tapes.

Eddie should do that too. Plan. Make decisions. Do anything other than stare at the dirt underneath Steve’s goddamn fingernails.

“Please blink, Munson.” Steve says while clearing his throat. He’s been doing that a lot. Which is, like, understandable after coughing up lake water all night long.

He clears his throat again. “Show sign of life before I ransack the supply bag for that shit you call music.”

“That… shit?” Eddie spits out the words. Briefly forgets his swirly Steve feelings because of the fucking audacity on this guy. “Rightrightright, because Bob Seger is so fucking dignified, huh?”

“Uh-oh.” Dustin murmurs behind him.

“Because Old Time Rock and Roll is the highest ranking of ear candy?” Eddie searches through their duffel bag until he finds Steve’s Vecna Saftey Tape. Waves it around wildly as he speaks. “Forgive me. I didn’t know entry-level chord progressions were considered Carnegie Hall worthy these days. But by all means, call my music shit.”

He throws the tape at Steve’s lap before dropping back down to his seat on the couch.

“Well,” Steve smirks. “At least we know if the music won’t wake you up, mocking it sure as hell will.”

“Guys. Focus.” Nancy steps into the center of the room. Everyone nods, even Eddie. They listen intently to her directions. Henderson doesn’t interrupt her, not even once.

Nancy’s entire demeanor is charged with currents of determination. It’s honestly impressive. Truly. She could convince congress to change the fucking constitution if she wanted. Have the supreme court eating out of her palm with how persuasive she can be.

And the only thing that distracts her, is the same thing distracting Eddie.

Two fingers. Muddy knuckles.

Eddie follows her gaze back over to Steve. Her expression softening when she sees him.

It’s cruel and expected. Cruel that Eddie has to witness such softness, knowing exactly how it feels. Expected because wedding bells can practically be heard every time those two interact with each other. No one can deny that.

But knowing all this doesn’t stop the cruelty from squeezing Eddie’s stomach till his insides feel raw.

He swallows down his flimsy fantasies. Keeps repeating those words from back in the woods:

It’s jealousy, it’s jealousy, it’s jealousy, it’s-

“Hey, man.” Steve says.

Man? Not ‘Nancy, my betrothed?’ Not “Nancy, my muse?”

… Man?

Eddie blinks. Glances up to see Steve looking at him. “Your taste in music isn’t complete shit.”

Which isn’t exactly an apology. But the teasing scratches an itch in Eddie’s brain that he hasn’t be able to reach for a very long time.

“Yeah.” Eddie says. “I guess Bob Seger’s stuff is… intermediate. Assistant managerial-level chord progressions.”

He pauses. Then leans in and adds a quick, “At best.”

They both laugh a little. It’s cut short by Steve clearing his throat again. One of the many reminders that they’re not well.

That nothing they’re going through is fair. Not even in the same universe as Fair. Eddie’s eyes fall to the red markings around Steve’s neck. Wonders if that makes his cough hurt worse.

“Look.” Steve nudges Eddie’s arm. Pulls his attention back into this moment. “We’ve got this, okay?”

Eddie can’t exactly tell if there’s softness in Steve’s eyes - the same kind Nancy gives to him so freely. Or if it’s just regularly scheduled Concern. But it doesn’t even matter because Steve said that.

We.

‘We’ve got this.’

Him and Steve.

And, okay, was Steve referring to a collective ‘we?’ Sure, yeah. Obviously. But Eddie is allowing himself to wallow in delusion while the world’s expiration date remains questionable.

So he aims a lovesick smile at Steve and sighs. “Whatever you say, Harrington.”

[mosspapi]

Able-bodied people remember the existence of words such as debilitating, incapacitating, draining, all-consuming, overwhelming, destructive, drastic, limiting, disruptive, excruciating, etc. instead of using a fucking slur challenge: difficulty level impossible

[haze-of-hyperfixations]

a concept. to consider. what if. what if there was a Remember Them reprise after the Thunder Saga. "We are not to let them die in vain" except he's the only one left so it's "I am not to let them die in vain." and there's no backing chorus of his men. because. they're all dead.

and the line takes on a whole new meaning now that he's the one who chose to let them die.

(not in vain. it can't have been in vain, it can't have been for nothing. i have to see her. i have to see her, because if i don't make it home, those men died for nothing. the ends always justify the means. i can justify anything as long as it ends with Penelope and Telemachus both in my arms again. but if it doesn't-

but it will. it will. it has to.)

and our- ... -and my comrades will not die in vain...

[menlove]

one crazy thing about the "male loneliness epidemic" to me is that romantic/sexual love and companionship is not the be all end all. for many women, straight & queer, their friendships with other women are the most important ones in their lives. and yet somehow men not being able to make friends they can open up with and find emotional fulfillment from is women's fault lmfao. like no I'm sorry that you're lonely, but there's a lot at play here including the way men treat male friendships. go figure yourselves out and treat each other better before whining and stomping your foot that you're not getting pussy like cmon man 😭

[chirpsythismorning]

Say it’s likely there will be a Brokeback Mountain reference in s5 and nobody bats an eye.

Say it’s likely that the final byler fight will be inspired by this scene and society goes wild.

[sadlynotthevoid]

Crack idea here: LCF modern AU with magic where og!Cale accidentally gains a swordmaster aura after way too many hours of playing beat saber.

Cale: *intensely playing the same game for 74th time this (new) year*

Cale's body: *starts exuding glowing mist*

Cale:

Hans, who just opened the door: Excuse me, young mas— Hhh...

Hans: Madam Violan!!!

[inkskinned]

it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

[eightspringdays]

one of my favorite hc about near is that he just drops fun facts literally out of nowhere and keeps doing whatever he was doing after

near, building a card tower

mello, meters away doing reports

near, unprompted: did you know bees communicate by dancing

mello: what?

near, keeps building the tower in complete silence

mello: what?!

and after a while mello just knows

near, assembling a hot wheels highway: it's almost impossible for opossums to get rabies

mello: good for them

but sometimes is just

near, under a ten storey lego building: praying mantis can change colors to adapt to their environment

mello: wait. like chameleons?

near, already on the eleventh floor, completely silent

mello, side-eyeing rester who just sighs and googles it

[vaguely-concerned]

just for fun this time during 'sea of blood' I counted out all the venatori corpses I think we can be pretty sure were lucanis' handiwork before we show up (not including the ones he kills in his initial cutscene, and with an assumption that he's been at work mainly up and down in the areas we move through until we find him, not behind the locked door -- I think that's mostly the work of rampaging undead and other venatori-hoisted-by-their-own-petard suchlikes). can thus happily inform you lucanis has killed at least 32 venatori before rook and company get there. at least one of them he's impaled on their own weird crystal spike things the venatori mages cast as an AOE attack and that they're trying to keep him contained with when we find him. so he's clearly been keeping busy lol. that's my boy dispensing poetic justice and claiming some enrichment in his enclosure while he's at it good for him!