#<- for when i get cheesy about the beauty of art and creative processes

[fruitsofhell]

My other fun addition to the Hbomberguy video stuff is not just that you need to start checking everyone's sources just to make sure you aren't being duped, but to not use them as a stand in for media consumption/experiences either. Like I'm not gonna lecture you on reading sources cause I am the first one to not and that's my laziness, but like sometimes more important than checking the original analysis of something is just to... see tge thing being analyzed yourself. That's not even about misinformation or lying, sometimes people's opinions just SUCK ASS.

Like there are youtube video essayists I overall kinda respect but they have dogshit opinions on things. I used to love Jack Saint's bad faith overly critical analyses of throwaway kids films, until I realized he also saw films that in my opinion had a lot of merit, and it turned me off from him. Big Joel is cool as hell, but anytime he gives his opinion on animation save like a few points, I completely glaze over and find him annoying. The other day I watched a video essay about the "Magical Negro" trope, and the first movie sourced interested me, so I watched it and I hardly understand why they put that in, it framed the movie as something it wasn't.

Just in general, it's good practice to make sure your opinions on media are your own and experience it yourself. MY biggest takeaway from the Hbomn video wasn't to throw rocks at Somerton or start obsessively fact-checking every essayist I watch, but to make sure I have a baseline of what they talking about myself and not letting anyone throw around media examples without reckless abandon. The Celluloid Closet and Tinkerbelles and Evil Queens is on my watxh/read list now, but the first thing I did from the words he stole from Celluoid Closet was watch Rebels Without A Cause out of curiosity of this gay subtext in a 50s blockbuster. And it was a super interesting experience that has given me my own unrelated opinions. Not to discount whatever important queer reading and historical importance the film has, but I'm happy I also have more than just that cause I Watched It Myself, not someone's specific and unavoidably biased reading of it.

The video isn't about cultivating suspicion but cultivating appreciation for the skills of analytical/informative/opinion writing. So even when people aren't being lying grifters, it's just good to be your own critic and media analyst. Maybe you'll even contribute to that world yourself, or maybe you'll keep all your cool opinions in your heart and die, who cares. The point is that unlike some people, your opinions and words are your own. It's a beautiful thing to have your own creative voice.

[sawwyfac3]

Hi! First off, thank you for helping resurrect this fandom! Do you think you could please do the SFW alphabet for Larry? Thank you!

No Anon, thank you! I wouldn’t be able to do this without you guys! Alrighty, enough rambling *cracks knuckles* Let's do this! 

WARNINGS: Swearing(?) and slight angst

A = Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? how do they spend their free time?)

- He loves just being with his S/O in general. Touch is his love language so prepare for cuddling or just you two holding each other.

- Just imagine Larry painting in his room on a rainy day, you can hear the rain against the window and Sanity’s fall being played at a low volume. While Larry is moving the brush along with the paper, you have your arms around his waist, your face in the crook of his neck, basking in the scent of pine, cheap cologne and a slight hint of smoke and paint.

B = Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)

- Ummm, LITERALLY EVERYTHING! He likes your looks, your personality EVERYTHING BITCH! 

C = Comfort (how do they help their s/o when they feel down? what makes them feel better?)

- Larry thinks that he’s not good at comforting people but he actually is decent. If you want to be alone, he’s going to find it hard but he’ll respect it. If you need someone to talk to or you just want to be held, Larry’s fine doing that,

D = Dreams (how do they picture their future with their s/o and in general?)

- He doesn't really picture his future often, he’s kind of a ‘go with to flow kinda guy’ wherever life goes, it takes him. But that doesn't stop him from thinking about probably proposing to you someday or even having a kid or having a few pets.

E = Equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship or are they rather passive?)

- Although you are pretty much equal he comes off more dominant sometimes. He feels a need to protect you and take care of you, although that concludes in him bottling up his own feelings and wants to be the one taken care of for once.

F = Fight (how quick are they to forgive their s/o? what are they like in an argument? who says sorry first?)

- Larry can be stubborn sometimes, but he’s the one to apologise first. Although he needs some alone time. 

G = Gifts (what kind of things do they gift to their s/o? are they spontaneous or do they stick to special events like anniversaries?)

- He’s kinda spontaneous with his gifts, but he can’t really afford it so it’s going to be something cheap or something he made or found

H = Heart Eyes (what are they like in love? is it obvious to others? how do they express their love? do they brag about their s/o to others?)

- Obvious as hell. Locks eyes with you CONSTANTLY even when not meaning to, stutters, rubs the back of his neck also that boy can blush like hell.

- Larry expresses his love through touch. He always has to be touching his S/O, like holding their hand, an arm around their waist or shoulders etc.

- He doesn't really brag to his friends but he does brag to people who are mean to him or his S/O

I = Impression (what first attracted them to their s/o? how accurate was their first impression of how their s/o actually is?)

- What first attracted him to you was your overall aura and your looks. You were just so pretty and he could feel your presence from a mile off

J = Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? how do they deal with it?)

- He hardly gets jealous, he knows he can trust you but earlier on in the relationship he just couldn’t help it.

K = Kiss (are they a good kisser? what was their first kiss like? where do they kiss the most?)

- He was not a good kisser when you met him. You definitely weren't his first kiss but he needed some practice. He’s a quick learner and gets better sometime in the relationship. 

- Your first kiss was kinda awkward since his nose got in the way but you got there in the end, it was sweet but messy at the same time. 

- Larry kisses you pretty much everywhere and anywhere, but his favourite places to kiss you are your lips, cheek and neck but if he’s feeling extra spicy (I am so sorry) he kisses your inner thighs and the top of your breasts.

L = Little Things (what are the little things they love about their s/o? are they attentive?)

- He’s pretty attentive and likes the little things about you such as freckles, birthmarks, stretch marks, moles, boobs.

- Larry likes pretty much anything and everything.

M = Marriage (do they want to get married? how do they propose? what would the wedding be like?)

- He wants to get married ngl but if you don’t end up getting married it doesn't matter. 

N = Nicknames (what do they call their s/o? what do they get called?)

- Babe, baby, sweetheart, kitten, some other extremely cheesy but cute nickname

- He likes being called pet names/nicknames, he doesn't have a set preference but he does like the usual ‘babe’ or the occasional ‘love’

O = Open (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? is it easy for them to share?)

- He’s pretty open with his S/O, sometimes a bit too open. 

- Larry’s a pretty honest guy, so he keeps nothing from you but it’s depending on the degree of what it is. 

P = Pancakes (are they a good cook? how often do they cook for their s/o? breakfast in bed or fancy dinner dates?)

- He sees himself as a decent cook, but he normally just helps Lisa and doesn't actually cook anything. 

- He really wants to do things like dinner dates and breakfast in bed but he’ll burn down the whole complex before you even think of it. 

Q = Quirk (a random quality/ability that is beneficial to their relationship.)

- Larry’s already pretty strong and is even stronger when he started working out, so including touch as his love language he loves to pick you up out of nowhere are swing you around, or cuddle you. 

R = Romance (how romantic are they? are they cliché or creative?)

- Larry is pretty romantic and creative with your dates but he can’t help but be cliché sometimes 

S = Sleep (who falls asleep first? do they need their s/o close to them? do they have any bad habits?)

- Larry’s sleeping schedule is all over the place, but sometimes he’d rather have you fall asleep first so he could watch you (in a non-creepy way) and just hold you.

- Larry also snores and is a pretty light sleeper, he’ll feel you leaving the bed to go to the bathroom and pull you back in. 

T = Thrill (do they need to spice up their relationship with new things or do they stick to a routine? how often do they do new things?)

- It’s in the middle, although Larry is fine with routine after a long while he or you need to spice things up a bit

U = Unity (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? what traits do they share?)

- You helped him feel more confident in himself, you’ve also helped him process things that could’ve been self-destructive as a result.

V = Value (how important is their relationship to them? what is it worth compared to other things in their life?)

- His relationship, his friends and his mom is worth EVERYTHING to him. 

W = Wild Card (a random fluff headcanon.)

- Larry likes dancing with you, only slow dancing really. He also likes using you as a model for his art projects. 

- Sometimes he just holds you and tells you how special you are to him and how much he loves and cares about you.

X = XOXO (do they like to kiss and cuddle? are they upfront about their relationship or rather shy when in public?)

- Larry is fine with kissing and cuddling in public, he’s also quite upfront about your relationship, he likes showing how much he loves you.

Y = Yearning (how do they cope when they spend time away from their s/o? do they miss their s/o?)

- He copes well, it’s not that he doesn't care, it’s really because he knows that you're coming back. He does miss you though and contacts you when your away.

Z = Zoo (do they have pets? do they want some in the future?)

- He does like animals and he’s fine with getting literally any animal.

[writingandmore]

Hi!!! May I get a HP, Star Wars, Voltron, and Disney matchup?

𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗦 + 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘

19, Libra, Neutral Good, enneagram is 4w5, muggleborn Ravenclaw (with Gryffindor tendencies), and my patronus spirit is Hummingbird. Biromantic Pansexual Genderfluid woman using pronouns of She/Her or He/Him. Cherubic-like face, with short height (5'1") plus sized Southeast Asian woman with Spanish descent that has chic messy/wavy brunette medium hair that reaches to my shoulder, oriental skin, slightly upturned eyes, small lashes, chocolate brown irises, cute flat nose, heart shaped face, full cheeks, cupid's bow lips, a small beauty mark on the forehead, and naturally straight teeth with tiny gap in front (just imagine that it's a mixture of Marinette from 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝗱𝘆𝗯𝘂𝗴, Musa from 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘅 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯, and Alexandra Trese from 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲---cause' my friend told me that I kinda look like them). My sense of fashion is in between emo and boyish plus korean glam, I sometimes let my hair down or styled like Lara Croft reboot.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬

Distant, quiet, and timid at first making people thought I'm a demure, modest, and self-effacing that looks "immaculate" or "one of a kind" (due to my protective mom, a reason why I've never been in a relationship) but the truth is, dunno how to initiate a conversation, but a total opposite if I open up---friendly, ambivert, witty, laughing loudly on a daily basis---like my happiness is too shallow, super talkative, eats a lot (yeah I can finish a huge slice of cake or a meal in one sitting), awkward, daydreamer (I got embarrassed from knocking at the door even I'm inside the classroom 😂), EXTREMELY CLUMSY (mostly gets bruises from hitting, bumping my head somewhere, walking into something on my way, and being careless to my belongings), secretly likes affection, easily overwhelmed, prone to melt over wholesomeness, flusters on compliments, lightly blushes on cheesy banters, eager to share what I know (especially about Catholic Church---my past teacher joked that I'll become a saint because of it 🤣), oftenly speaks full of sarcasm with a lowkey crackhead energy citing meme references, and talented girl who can be your no.1 supporter and unashamed to be true to myself but can be awkward to strangers. In terms of leadership, I only educate and guide than being a prefect (I might take the role seriously), will lift my group when there's lacking/incompleteness. About doing projects in school, I become too extra and prepared for efforts, but I'll forget the process in the end.

The extent, I'm expressive, warm-hearted, willig to help, kind, intelligent, supportive, nice, creative, enthusiastic, laid-back, determined, tough, competitive, and feisty outside, but a real softie that can be childish and dramatic that cries so easily (but will enlightened real quick by smallest things that makes me smile) filled with doubts, frustrations, and insecurities with fear of failure that pushes off the limits to to please everyone because they might get dissappointed from expectations---I simply can't stop proving myself too much because I'm a survivor of bullying. But I still managed to be stronger than ever after I stumbled, even it's a slow burn process. I can be blunt, intimidating, harsh, and a douchebag if I receive ends or I got interrupted while doing something. Immature, headstrong, perfectionist, demanding, hesitant, jumpy, forgetful, overthinker, quick-tempered, sensitive, and anxious (no joke, my nervousness makes me think worse scenario will arrive). Though can be procrastinator and arrogant, I raised as a religious 𝖺𝗇𝖽 diplomatic youth, willing to fight what I believe (including my dreams and what's important to me) and what is right. In addition, I have a habit of staying up late and doing sign of the cross to ease nervousness.

Rowdy and feeling-brokenhearted and bitter friend in the group who fangirl a lot, swears like sailor, will call out on people that we loathe, will make fun of your stupidity (in a good way) before helping, and bring gossips, but a hopeless romantic and cheeky (makes banter with sarcasms or pick up lines as an endearment, but gets annoyed if I received sappy or offensive one), Still generous and concerned person in a subtle and different way.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦

My hobbies are singing, drawing, roleplaying, listening to music, chatting/browsing on social media, conceptualizing, writing, and reading some stuffs. I'll include making corniest jokes/puns, sleeping, and dancing when nobody's around or walking like a model if I feel so bold (even I'm terrible at both xD). I also used to learn Italian language a bit.

𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Loves kittens, milk tea, singing at the karaoke, cartoons, iced coffee, memes, cute things, watching YouTube videos (mostly pageants, ASMR, edit audios, and mukbangs), also enjoys playing games on my sister's PSP. Sucker for arts, choir, poetry, night sky, makeup, fun/deep/dumb conversations, Christianity, documentaries (about saints, real crime stories, and inspirational people), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and creative writing, chilling both indoors and outdoors. Beside that, my music taste are like late 90s-2000s songs (mostly rock, pop, and country) sometimes Catholic songs, kpop and ppop, chocoholic, and a sweetooth as well.

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Things that I hate are stereotyping, HUGE creepy crawlies (spiders, toads, snakes, and cockroaches), firecracker sounds, thunder and lightning, being left out, loneliness, heart break, blackout, and judgemental people. If I found out that someone hates or backstabbing or being rude to me, I won't hesitate to throw offensive criticisms, leaving them with a "I don't give a f" attitude. One random fact about me is, I 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 vent out EVERYTHING I despise in my entire existence---from bad soap operas to toxicity, worse scenarios in real life, and how terrible is my love life from unrequited feelings that I got, because it's a big deal for me, and I consider forcing me to do what I'm not into and manipulating me as my major pet peeves.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗦

In terms of triggers...I only have two which are ta𝖨king about divorce/annullment/separation because I came from a generational broken family (it sucks that some people I knew assumed that the reason why I'm overly unaware that someone is interested in me in secret, is I have "high standards" looking for a partner, but the truth is I'm strict and I have a personal preferences...I know my worth and I don't want settle for less!) and religion/beliefs discrimination, cause' there are reasonings that doesn't makes sense because some, sounds too hypocritical, like as if you're a morally good person.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘 + 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗨𝗔𝗚𝗘𝗦

My love languages are quality time and gift giving, but I actually swoon over physical touch (especially cuddles and cute kisses) and words of affirmation when it comes to having a partner, though I get attracted so easily, matured but can be a goofy person who's nice, friendly, kind-hearted, loving, faithful, and excels in academics is my cup of tea. Whenever I have a real life crush (which is rare), I act the same but deep inside, my heart is about to explode and will eventually share to my trustful friends how I highly admire that person, however if they spilled the beans out, I'll obviously deny it and will cry if they like someone else, it will take some time for me to move on, now I don't care for them anymore.

Best Friends to Lovers is my ideal trope because I find it very cute since you already knew each other before dating (which happened to my 2nd cousin, she married her best friend!)---perfect balance for romance, laughters, comfort, and tears when it comes to sharing your vibes, being there through thick and thin, safe with embraces, and helping each other to grow.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗔𝗦

My best assets are smile, eyes, personality, singing voice, artistic skills, writings, intelligence, oratorical skills and I have potential in hosting...so I can consider myself as a singer, artist, orator, speaker, and a top student who's a former active campus ministry member with three roles (choir leader, psalm singer, and reader).

May sounds different but I'm passionate for helping people through my talents and sharing my story to inspire everyone. I may look selfish, but I have a different way on how I show that I actually care also I have a biased sentimental value

Currently a college freshman, learning how to cook. I have so many interests, to the point I don't know what I'm into because of my dreams to become a popular Filipino YouTuber, a novelist, and being part of a successful chorale competing internationally...I also consider joining pageants at school too once the pandemic ends, but maybe.

HP: Remus!

- Remus is also quiet and a bit reserved when he's not in a familiar situation, so your own first impression on him would be a good one, as you'd seem similar to his own personality. He's sweet and is able to start up a conversation if he notices the other person is having a hard time doing so, so hopefully he'd be able to bring out your more extroverted and friendly self after a while so he can be around the more open you. He wouldn't mind you being a bit awkward-he's very much the same way-honestly, the comradery that would come from that would be more positive than anything else. He loves sharing knowledge and learning about new things, so your eagerness to talk about what you know would work really well also! He does a lot better when he knows someone has his back too, so your extra supportive nature would endear him to you as well.

SW: Han!

- Your nicer and more helpful personality would balance out Han's more standoffish vibes when first meeting. You might get on his nerves a bit first, but you'd quickly grown on him and, in turn, make him a bit of a better person. Your ability to be blunt and a bit harsh would serve you well if you ever needed to stand your ground on an issue that two of you have, as he can be quite stubborn.

VLD: Lance!

- Lance can be a bit immature from time to time as well, especially when it comes to trying to be funny or cheering up those around him-he's also headstrong and typically firm in what he wants to do, so your own determined personality would attract him to you a lot as well. He often puts off things he needs to do if they make him anxious too, but if you both recognize that you share that problem, helping each other might be a good solution!

Disney: Flynn!

- Flynn is quite a sarcastic and teasing person, so your own humor would match well with his. He's also quite a hopeless romantic as well, even though he's certainly not one to admit that right off the bat. He enjoys singing, and as he gets closer to someone he feels more comfortable doing so in front of them, so a partner he's been with for a long time would get to see him be more and more open with it. That also applies to activities like dancing.

[oneboxofmatches]

Hi!!! May I request a HP romantic and friendship matchup on both eras? (Preferably male), thanks in advance! 💞

𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗦 + 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘

19, Libra, Neutral Good, enneagram is 4w5, Ravenclaw, and my patronus spirit is swan. Bi Pan Genderfluid girl using pronouns of She/Her or He/Him. A friend of mine told me that I (kinda) look like Marinette from 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝗱𝘆𝗯𝘂𝗴, Musa from 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘅 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯, and Alexandra Trese from 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲 (a Netflix animated series), but the exception is I'm short (5'1.2") plus sized Southeast Asian woman with Spanish descent that has messy/wavy brunette medium hair, chocolate brown eyes, oriental skin and a small beauty mark on the forehead. My sense of fashion is in between emo and boyish plus korean glam.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬

Distant and shy at first cause' I dunno how to initiate a conversation, but a total opposite if I open up---friendly, ambivert, witty, laughing loudly on a daily basis, talkative, awkward, daydreamer (I got embarrassed from knocking at the door even I'm inside the classroom 😂), EXTREMELY clumsy, secretly likes affection, easily overwhelmed, prone to melt over any wholesomeness, flusters on compliments, lightly blushes on cheesy banters, sarcastic person with a lowkey crackhead energy citing meme references, and talented girl who can be your no. 1 supporter and unashamed to be true to myself. In terms of leadership, I only educate and guide than being a prefect (I might take the role seriously), and will lift my group when there's lacking/incompleteness. About doing projects in school, I become too extra and prepared for efforts, but I'll forget the process in the end.

People thought I'm a demure self-effacing woman that looks "idealistic" or "one of a kind," (due to my protective parents, a reason why I've never been in a relationship) but the truth is, I'm eloquent, warm-hearted, willig to help, kind, intelligent, supportive, nice, creative, enthusiastic, determined, tough, competitive, and feisty outside, but a real softie that can be childish and dramatic crybaby filled with doubts, frustrations, and insecurities with fear of failure that pushes off the limits to to please everyone, yet I still managed to be stronger than ever, even it's a slow burn process. I can be intimidating, sassy, and a douchebag if I receive ends. Immature, headstrong, perfectionist, demanding, hesitant, jumpy, very indecisive, overthinker, quick-tempered, sensitive, and anxious (no joke, my nervousness makes me think worse scenario will arrive or I might break a belonging due to my carelessness). Though can be procrastinator and arrogant, I raised as a religious 𝖺𝗇𝖽 diplomatic person, willing to fight what I believe (including my dreams) 𝖺𝗇𝖽 what is right. In addition, I have a habit of staying up late and doing sign of the cross to ease nervousness.

Blunt but the loudest idiotic feeling-brokenhearted and bitter friend in the group who fangirl a lot, swears like sailor, will act like a silent backstabber on people that we loathe, will crack up over your stupid antics before helping, and bring gossips, but a hopeless romantic who tends to banter with sarcasms or pick up lines as an endearment (but gets grumpy if I received sappy or offensive one), still generous and concerned in a subtle way.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦

My hobbies are singing, drawing, roleplaying, listening to music, chatting/browsing on social media, conceptualizing, writing, and reading some stuffs. 𝖨'𝗅𝗅 𝗂𝗇𝖼𝗅𝗎𝖽𝖾 making corniest jokes/puns, 𝗌𝗅𝖾𝖾𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗀, and dancing when nobody's around or walking like a model if I feel so bold (even I'm terrible at both xD).

𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Loves kittens, eating a lot, cartoons, watching YouTube videos (mostly pageants, ASMR, edit audios, and mukbangs), also enjoys playing games on my sister's PSP. Sucker for arts, choir, night sky, makeup, fun/deep/dumb conversations, Christianity, documentaries (about saints, real crime stories, and inspirational people), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and writings, chilling both indoors and outdoors. Beside that, my music taste are like late 90s-2000s songs (mostly rock, pop, and country) sometimes kpop and ppop, chocoholic, and a sweetooth as well.

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Things that I hate are stereotyping, HUGE creepy crawlies (spiders, toads, snakes, and cockroaches), firecracker sounds, being left out, loneliness, heart break, blackout, and judgemental people. One random fact about me is, I 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 vent out EVERYTHING I despise in my entire existence---from bad soap operas to toxicity and worse scenarios in real life, because it's a big deal for me, and I consider forcing me to do what I'm not into and manipulating me as my major pet peeves.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗦

In terms of triggers...I only have two which are ta𝖨king about divorce/annullment/separation because I came from a generational broken family and religion/beliefs discrimination, cause' there are reasonings that doesn't makes sense because some are too hypocritical.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗔

My best assets are smile, eyes, personality, singing voice, artistic skills, writings, intelligence, and oratorical skills...so I can consider myself as a singer, artist, orator, and a top student who's a former active campus ministry member with three roles (choir leader, psalm singer, and reader). Currently an incoming college freshman, learning how to cook and have so many interests, to the point I don't know what I'm into because of my dreams to become a popular Filipino YouTuber, a novelist, and being part of a successful chorale competing internationally...I also consider joining pageants at school too once the pandemic ends, but maybe.

Thank you so, so much for requesting! I had a lot of fun with this one (as you can tell by some of the really long answers lol) and I hope you enjoy!!

In the Golden Trio era, I romantically pair you with…

CEDRIC DIGGORY

One of the most beautiful things about Cedric is that although he may show some introverted tendencies, he still manages to have a natural gift for connecting to others and allowing them to feel comfortable enough to open up. Really, your initial distance and shyness don't last nearly as long towards Cedric as they would with most other people.

Hearing your laughter brings the widest, cheesiest grin to Cedric’s face. Not only does he adore seeing you happy, but he also recognizes that your anxiety, insecurities, and strong emotions can sometimes cloud up your demeanor. Therefore, it brings him comfort knowing that (for the moment) you’re finding joy. He thrives when you thrive!

However, as much as he loves seeing your more energetic and happier self, it goes without saying that he’s the best comfort for when you’re not having the best day.

Cedric is an excellent listener, so he’ll most likely let you talk without interruption for as long as you need before even saying a word. He wants to make sure he truly understands your current state before acting. He may take a few seconds to process everything after you finish speaking, but then he’ll help you tackle whatever problems you’re facing. He’s especially talented at giving words of affirmation.

Cedric’s listening also comes in handy whenever you talk about your interests! He genuinely loves hearing about the things you’re interested in solely for the fact that you’re interested in them. Side note: you can count on him to be at any music performances, pageants, etc. you may have -- this guy is truly your #1 supporter.

Cedric’s a very good student (though I suspect he’s somewhat of a procrastinator himself), so I can also see you two supporting each other through schoolwork and celebrating each other’s successes.

Like you, Cedric has a strong urge to do the right thing. Talking to him about social issues stirs up a need to help, and I could see you two doing volunteer work together in your spare time.

I like to believe one of Cedric’s biggest love languages is quality time. Don’t get me wrong, this guy loves staying involved and busy. But taking a couple hours to be with you in small ways (even if that means just being in the same room while you scroll through social media) gives him a nice balance.

Overall, this kind boy will be there unwaveringly through the bad times and will laugh just as loud as you through the good!

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LUNA LOVEGOOD

You wanna talk about the best conversations, relentless support, and overall the most wholesome friendship you could ask for? Luna’s your girl.

Being unashamed to be true to yourself is one of the biggest reasons why Luna is so drawn to you. While she’s very friendly and insightful towards everyone she meets, it can get a bit repetitive for her to constantly interact with people who try to shelter their unique characteristics from the world. In her mind, these unique characteristics are what make people so fascinating! Why should anyone hide who they are?

Luna’s creativity is endless, and I can see it blending well with yours. Collaborating on a personal project outside of school (ex: novel, blog, etc.) together is definitely something I could see you two doing.

Speaking of creativity, finding creative solutions to everyday problems (both in school and in life) is your specialty as friends.

Admittedly, Luna isn’t usually drawn to louder individuals. However, the complexity behind your personality makes it easier for her to know you are much more than what meets the eye.

Speaking of, Luna has a difficult time standing up for herself -- whether it’s because she doesn’t feel a need to or she just doesn’t recognize the meaning behind certain phrases. She NEEDS a friend like you to stand up for her sometimes, and I know you wouldn’t hesitate!

Ranting to Luna is therapeutic to say the least. While her aloofness at times may make it seem as if she isn’t fully paying attention, that couldn’t be further from the truth. She’s actually catching every word, and once you’re done she’ll leave you with a philosophical solution that may seem borderline insane/irrelevant when you first hear it, but it strangely makes sense.

Overall, the lack of judgment from either of you is what draws you together. As a result, you build a unique bond that couldn’t be broken even if either of you wanted it to.

In the Marauders era, I romantically pair you with…

REMUS LUPIN

Let’s be honest, it would take you two so long to ask each other out. You were probably already really close friends, but the insecurities and “what if?” questions from both of you delayed an actual relationship.

When you finally started dating, you were both so relieved. You still share a laugh at how almost nothing changed in the way you interacted with each other.

While with mutual friends, Remus sometimes likes to sit back and just watch you, especially when you get really talkative because this is when you become the most expressive. He has the softest smile when you’re actively cracking jokes, discussing something you’re passionate about, or even calling someone out. Sometimes you may be too distracted to notice, but other times you’ll catch him.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.” (While that same soft smile never leaves his face.)

You both hold really high standards for yourself in terms of school, so expect late-night study/work sessions to be your best bet for quality time.

Though the occasional instance of walking through/lying on the grounds becomes a favorite for both of you.

Remus listens when you’re particularly struggling through anxiety or strong emotions, but he has to consciously stop himself from interrupting because he can’t stand how he feels knowing you’re going through a tough time.

All he wants to do is soothe you during these moments. If you’re comfortable, he’ll hold you while speaking to you in a soft voice. Remus, the intellectual that he is, is also your best chance at finding a reasonable solution. So if you're not in the mood for calming words, he's also a great person to turn to for answers.

As for your ambitions, no matter what you choose to pursue, you already know Remus is going to be your biggest source of support every step of the way. He’s more than happy to help in any way he can!

Overall, Remus appreciates you, and he’s always going to make sure you know it.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LILY EVANS

Lily especially connects to you because you manage to be determined, competitive, and intelligent without sacrificing your kindness, which is something she can relate to.

You and Lily are the C.E.O.s of doing the right thing. Neither of you hesitates to back the other up when it comes to confronting someone because you know it’s justified.

As perceptive as Lily is, you never need to tell her when something is bothering you. All it takes is a quick glance before she puts whatever she’s doing on hold to check in with you.

The reverse works as well. Typically, Lily really doesn’t internally struggle too much, and when she does she tries to hide it. You’re one of the only people who can see right through whatever she tries to pull.

The constant banter between you two is unmatched, but you both know it's because you really care about each other.

Overall, you and Lily have each other’s backs through anything, even when the other isn’t actively asking for help.

[dasphinxone]

Book of Nile: Burlesque AU

Shout out to @winterequinoxx @yeahwellyourface @druidspell @rainofdreams29 @shebattlesman @highlightcity159 @ruby-white-rabbit​ and the Book of Nile chat for this one. Y’all are legit INSPIRING.

Based on the super corny and cheesy but “Awesome when I watch it while drunk” movie Burlesque starring Cher and Christina Aguilera.

Nile is an aspiring singer who left Chicago for Los Angeles in order to realize her dreams of becoming a recording artist. She writes her own songs and has a voice that is devastating, a born star. However, she’s down on her luck when she stumbles into the burlesque theater owned by one Andromache or “Andy” as everyone calls her. Andy’s wife, Quynh, is the main costumer of the performers. Nicolo “Nicky” is the club’s choreographer for the routines. He’s married to Yusuf or “Joe” as his friends call him. Yusuf plays the trumpet and is the band leader for the in-house jazz ensemble.  And then there’s Sebastien “Booker” le Livre. An older, washed up bartender, he also originally came to L.A. to be a songwriter. Except his dreams died long ago after his wife left him and moved back home. His life spiraled out of control and the only reason he’s got the job as the burlesque’s bartender is out of pity from Andy. He’s bitter, bored out of his mind and feels like his life is going absolutely nowhere...well, that is until Nile breaks out into singing Etta James’ Something’s Got a Hold on Me when there’s a glitch on the lip syncing track during a burlesque performance at the club. 

Booker falls head over heels for her right then and there. Inspired by this siren, her work ethic and sheer unadulterated talent, he starts secretly writing music again.  For she’s his muse who he imagines performing his songs. He keeps it all to himself though. Because there’s no way in hell a woman like her will go for an old failure like him. Content to watch Nile perform and her star rise with each passing week, Booker thinks being able to look but not touch is enough to sustain him.

That is until Nile’s motel room where she’s staying gets broken into and she gets her life savings stolen. Since she has no savings and no safe place to stay, Booker finds himself offering to let her stay with him in his bungalow that he used to share with his ex-wife. Nile takes him up on the offer and moves in with him. Except she soon finds herself attracted to him. Sure, he’s sarcastic and all up in his maudlin feelings when he drinks. Yet he’s also doing little things for her around the house. Every time she tries to pay him back, he waves her off. It’s almost like he lives to serve in his deference to her. 

Meanwhile, Andy has mortgaged her club far too many times and owes the bank hundreds of thousand of dollars. Merrick, a shitty real estate developer, is gleefully waiting in the wings for Andy to default on her latest mortgage. He’s pissed because she keeps rejecting his offers to buy the place. So he sends his minion in Keane to spy on the club and make sure Andy defaults so that Merrick can take over the property. He plans to demolish it to build luxury condos on the site. 

While at the club, Keane spots Nile and wants her for himself. He starts pursing Nile and she starts dating him. However, she quickly realizes her heart isn’t into it. Not to mention, Keane comes off as more and more of a raging asshole with each passing date. Even after he wines and dines her and gifts her a killer pair of crystal, Louboutin red bottom heels.

At the same time, Booker and Nile find themselves falling for each other. There’s so much sexual tension and neither of these beautiful idiots have any place to put it. That is until they hook up one night after stumbling home drunk from the wedding reception of one of Nile’s fellow burlesque dancers. They sex is mind blowing and they realize that perhaps, maybe this can turn into a relationship. The problem? Nile wakes up to Booker’s ex-wife screaming at her in their bungalow. Turns out Booker never finalized the divorce and his ex wants him back. That also means he technically cheated with Nile since he’s still legally married to his wife. Understandably pissed the fuck off, Nile moves in with Joe and Nicky and tells Booker to never speak to her again. 

While Nile lives with them, Joe and Nicky reveal to her the rocky start to their own relationship. Nile is stunned, as they’re clearly still in love with each other after all of their years of marriage. 

Trained as a ballet dancer in Genoa before moving to Milan to dance at the famous La Scala Theater, Nicky sustained an injury that ended his career. He wandered the world trying to find himself. It ultimately led to him ending up in L.A., broke and with no idea of to do with his life. That’s where he met Quynh and Andy, who gave him a job as a first line dancer at their club. After seeing his talent, they promoted him to the club’s choreographer.

Meanwhile, Joe loves playing jazz, but it’s a dying art. So he while he adores working at the club before Nicky got there, Nicky was a snotty asshole to Joe since Joe didn’t write his own music. Mostly, Joe would provide the instrumentation to the music Booker wrote, which is how he and Booker became best friends. Unfortunately, Nicky saw Joe as creatively bankrupt while Joe pointed out that Nicky was a failure in his ballet career. They hated each other initially. Over the years, Nicky became less of an asshole, taking pride in his choreography. He also found himself falling in love with Joe. Working to earn Joe’s forgiveness for his initially bristly personality, Nicky made amends. He and Joe started dating and soon Joe proposed. They’ve been inseparable ever since. 

Joe quietly reminds Nile that Booker is a broken man who needs to heal himself before he’ll find himself worthy of her. He knew Booker before his life went to shit and his wife divorced him. Once Nicky finally made amends with Joe, Booker became Nicky’s friend as well. So they both know Booker can be a good man. But again, he needs to work on himself.  

As for Nile and Keane? The final straw comes when she sees the plans for Merrick’s condo at Keane’s place. She realizes that Keane has been working for Merrick the entire time and doesn’t give a fuck about the club being shut down and her losing her livelihood. Nile dumps Keane and takes her information to Andy.  With only a few days before Andy defaults on her loan, Nile realizes that they could potentially save the club. As there’s another luxury condo development being currently built across the street. They ask to meet with the owner, who turns out to be Copley. Copley used to work for Merrick but quit after he found out Merrick’s shady business dealings. So Copley is all too happy to pay Andy for the air rights to her club. This guarantees that Copley’s luxury condos retain their views of the Pacific Ocean. It also gives Andy the money she needs to pay off the mortgage and save the club. 

Booker finally apologizes to Nile and shows her the paperwork that he’s in the process of finalizing his divorce from his wife for real this time. He also confesses his true feelings for Nile, showing her all of the songs he’s written that she inspired in him. He also admits she’s been his muse and apologizes if that comes off as creepy. He really does see her as an equal and was straight up overwhelmed with his feelings for her when he saw her sing for the first time.

They reunite and everything closes out with Nile singing a song she and Booker cowrote that works with Nicky’s choreography and Joe’s instrumentation skills with his trumpet and leading the band.

Playlist

Yoncé/Partition - Beyoncé

A Night Like This - Caro Emerald

Ended With The Night - Caravan Palace

Jolie Coquine - Caravan Palace

Something’s Got a Hold on Me  - Etta James

Chambermaid Swing - Parov Stelar

All That Glitters - Earl

Gnossienne 1 - Erik Satie

Toxic - Britney Spears

Could’ve Been - H.E.R.

Cuz I Love You - Lizzo 

Undo - JAMi2

Forgive Me - Chloe x Halle

Rocket - Beyoncé

Bomba -  JAMi2 

[thesunnyshow]

Name: leyna

Age: 1X

Writing Blog URL(s): @jensungf​

What fandom(s) do you write for? nct (dream)!

Nationality: american!

Languages: english, vietnamese (spanish??? very bad)

Star Sign: capricorn sun!! 

MBTI: enfp-t hehe

Favorite color: lavender

Favorite food: beef chow fun/noodles

Favorite movie: our times!

Favorite ice cream flavor: chocolate chip cookie dough

Favorite animal: cats! 

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? hmm i’m not a big fan of either tbh but vietnamese iced coffee with a LOT of condensed milk is super good 

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): honestly idk! maybe an editor or professor who knows

Go-to karaoke song: “gee” by snsd or “if it ain’t you” by alicia keys

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? vocal-induced manipulation or basically power of persuasion with my words hehe

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? maybe the 90s! i really like the vibes and aesthetic

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? no bc learning is a part of life!

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? horse sized chicken hahaha bc horses are wild

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? drama queen LOLL

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? to an extent yes! 

If a genie gave you three wishes, what would they be? world peace, equality for all, and hmm true love in every life i live

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? i have 3k followers on pinterest hahaha weird flex

When did you post your first piece? april 2020!

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? i write most fluff and angst or a combo! with some crack bc who doesn’t love some humor hahah

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? i write reader inserts

Why did you start writing on Tumblr? ive been writing on tumblr since 2015, just for diff fandoms bc i always loved reading fanfics and i wanted to become a better writer

What inspires you to write? other writings, real life experiences, dreams, basically anything!

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? i find fluff easier to write than angst but i like a good balance of all the genres! i rly like writing soulmate!aus for some reason or just some domestic fluffy established relationship stuff

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? i hope they can actually feel the emotions i’m hoping to convey from each character (referring to my more angsty works) or their sweet tooth gets satiated hehe

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? i try to read other stories or talk to my moots to help me!

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? i think my fav has to be only forever because it’s something that i feel like is really cliche but it actually represents the meaning of young innocent first loves. i reminds me of what someone’s youth should sort of feel like. my most successful has been jsmr: sugar and spice because who doesn’t love jsmr!jeno and some sweet fluff and a spicy make out scene 🤭

Who is your favorite person to write about? jeno or jaemin tbh

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? there is a slight difference because fanfiction provides you a sort of foundation with characters but to be honest, i believe that if you just switch the names and perspectives for most of the stories on here, it would become a bestselling hit because it conveys the same emotions and it’s just as enjoyable to read. the writers on here are truly exceptional. 

What do you think makes a good story? i definitely think little details and the nuances that add to the plot development and character development. most importantly, if a story evokes emotions from me and i can feel the story then i think it’s beautiful in itself. 

What is your writing process like? for me, i can come up with an idea based off of anything that might inspire me. like watching something, reading another story or just a dream i have. then i like to outline my stories by bouncing ideas with my best friend and from there once i figure out all the points i wanna hit i start writing! or for spur of the moment fics i deadass just start writing

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? yes, most likely. 

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? i love fwb to lovers and enemies to lovers! also soulmate!aus / tatbilb tropes cus i’m a sucker for cheesy stuff. i’m not a big fan of cheating/parent/apoc!aus or love triangles. oh and i can’t stand slow burn 😭

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? as someone who lives off of validation, it means a lot and motivates me to write my stories and post them! we put so much hard work into our stories, so feedback and engagement is honestly the least you can do 🥺

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? i think just being in a community with other talented writers has taught me a lot!! and of course, having people read my work.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? yes! all the time. 

Do you think art can be a medium for change? yes, maybe not on a macro scale but personally definitely. 

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? sometimes, but i always try to pull myself back into why i really started writing. but writing for others helps motivate me. 

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? not on a serious level! it’s more so how details and events are interpreted but it’s fun to see how ppl have different perspectives on own piece versus your own vision.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? yes!! not my family ofc but my close friends do and support me 100% and i’m forever grateful for this

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? thank you so much for everything you’ve ever done for me no matter how little or small it may seem, it means the world to me. 

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? i think you need to realize why you’re writing and it’s because it brings you happiness, and you’re sharing your beautiful work out there and it has the possibility to change someone’s life whether it’s bringing them a little bit of joy or helping them feel emotions. you might discover things you never knew about yourself as well. 

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? not really! as of recently i’ve seen a lot of changes with the platform and although it’s a big struggle, i can’t regret it because it’s brought me so much.  

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? i’d hate to pick and choose because all my mutuals have really helped me in some way whether or not they know it because they inspire me, motivate me, and are just genuinely amazing people to talk to. but honestly talking to mary / @neostains​, nana / @nanasarea​, anie / @mjlkau​ have helped me open up from being shy and i appreciate them a whole lot. 

Pick a quote to end your interview with:  “to burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.” - spanish poet federico garcia lorca

[missolitude]

Vinnie and Ursula for the ship thing :)

Ask Meme

Who said “I love you” first

Vincent does.The feeling is so strong and unquenchable it’s eating him up inside and he thinks he might die of his burning soul were he not to confess it, not to turn all of his insides out. She needs to hear, needs to know what he feels. He plans it all out, word for word, the setting, the poem he would read to her that reflects everything he feels. And he does and Ursula’s reaction almost scares him he wasn’t prepared, she bursts into tears and she is trembling, and she cannot respond for a long period of time. He merely holds and soothes her, and she tightens her grip. He tells her over and over that he won’t leave, that he loves her, and slowly she looks up at him, her eyes all red and swollen and she loosens her grip, she is too exhausted and that’s when he picks her up and carries her into the bedroom, and they just hold onto each other through the night. He knows. He understands. He won’t leave.

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background

Vincent would. And he will also use her picture as practice to sketch her when he can. That’s his excuse anyway - not that he needs one. He knows her face and her beautiful lines by heart. He just always wants to surprise her with new techniques, and she is his muse. He often tells her that too, but she only blushes and chuckles like a young maiden.

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror

Vincent. It’s just a silly thing to do, he knows that, and she would have to clean the mirror again, he knows that too. But sometimes he just can’t help himself. Anything to make her smile. And she does.

Who buys the other cheesy gifts

They don’t have the budget, every gift is carefully chosen, lovingly wrapped, full with meaning and intention. But Vincent always keeps buying more flower seeds for Ursula. He knows she loves seeing them bloom in her garden and he would do anything to see her happy. Besides, all of the flowers can be resown and mixed and he will spend most of his free time to research.

Who initiated the first kiss

Ursula needed Vincent’s confidence and his eagerness to get there but she wanted it just as much. Would she have acted without Vincent’s initiation? No. She was a widow, an older woman, filled with darkness, best focused on other things, things that are more important than living out a juvenile fantasy about a young artist seducing her and sweeping her off her feet. She thought of herself as deeply undesirable, in her mind she had no talents, nothing to offer. She couldn’t believe that this young man even looked at her twice. But that evening he met her in her darkness, he saw her, he didn’t try to fix her, he didn’t push her towards the light, he merely… met her there and held her hand. More than that, he kissed her so passionately she thought she might burst. It was everything she wanted and it scared her. It scares her still. He was that man who would finally ruin her and she knew it. It didn’t change that she wanted it all.

Who kisses the other awake in the morning

Ursula does sometimes during the weekend, since she has time to sleep in, but she doesn’t want to wake him at all. Thankfully he’s a heavy sleeper. He sometimes works late in the night to finish a painting and she respects his creative process. She just hovers over him sometimes like a guardian angel and pulls up his blanket, kisses his forehead and reads until he wakes and they have sex or cuddle. She can never ever tire of the smile that overcomes him when he wakes and lies his eyes on her. His entire being lights up. And she feels loved.

Who starts tickle fights

Vincent does. He knows Ursula is very ticklish. Sometimes he gets the timing right and she succumbs to his tickling in other ways, and they both get to lie in next morning.

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower

Ursula will always have the ultimate reign here. Vincent doesn’t always have a fixed schedule but Ursula does. The initial reason for it is to save water. Of course that thought gets dropped when Ursula does invite him in and they get the most out of it, and sometimes carried away. Vincent will smother Ursula with soap and kisses and back rubs and all kinds of things Ursula has never experienced. Suffice to say she will want to invite him more often after that, and she cannot even care to justify it with rational reasons.

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch

Vincent will drop by often since he has a flexible schedule. He might not drop by with lunch since Ursula cooks for everyone in the house and she needs to do it anyways, so he will take advantage of that every once in a while. But he will bring her her favorite dessert. Flowers. Kisses and love. He just wants to see her during the day. And be a part of her meals since they are delicious. But he also wants to see her. Mostly.

Who was nervous and shy on the first date

They are both equally nervous. They both are… inexperienced when it comes to dates. But Vincent will say something absolutely silly and dorky and it will make Ursula laugh and feel at ease. And it will break the ice. Then at some point Vincent would just put his palm over Ursula’s hand and they would look into each other’s eyes. And everything would slow down and they would know this was just them. And why they are here. Ursula knows, Vincent has seen her soul, she can’t do anything to put him off. And in the gaze of their eyes they will get a hold of each other’s hearts.

Who kills/takes out the spiders

They aren’t that kind of couple. Ursula has been living alone for many years, she can deal with spiders. And Vincent is probably too distracted to even see them. Spiders are not the enemy. Narrator voice off.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk

They both like to indulge a little. Ursula will get more affectionate and loving, Vincent will head to his art supplies straight away, his style will get a bit more daring when he’s tipsy. Think Titanic nude drawings. They will do this more often after this point.

[thetrashywritingwitch]

First date headcannons for Tsuyu and Momo? I loved all the ones you did before so I would love to see some for these queens ♡♡♡

Midoriya and Bakugou first dates

Todoroki and Kirishima first dates

MY GIRLS, SUCH GOOD GIRLS deserve happiness!!

Momo

Momo has self confidence issues despite the fact that she’s #1 in the class when it comes to academics. She knows her quirk can be powerful, but has to really think to utilize things in creative ways since she isn’t really a physical fighter

Those hangups transfer into relationships, too. She wants to be a good girlfriend, make her partner happy, etc. Thinks they deserve a confident girlfriend so she puts on a brave front when they finally go on their first date

They end up going to an art museum with a special exhibit on the history of costume fashion of Pro Heroes. Of course Momo insists on paying for everything since 1. her family is sorta loaded and 2. she believes in contributing properly to the economy!

Casual PDA is fine like holding hands, so they hold hands in the museum, Momo pointing out some of her favorite paintings and artists and goes into great detail about their process and the reason behind the subject matter, what types of paints they used, etc. 

Their partner says something cheesy like “sure, these paintings sure are pretty…but you’re the most beautiful work of art here” but they know each other well enough that it’s just supposed to be funny but Momo just gets majorly flustered and a blushing mess

They eventually make it to the special exhibit and Momo is fascinated by the different materials the costumes were made of vs what they’re made of now, stylistic changes, etc. 

There’s an area where you can try on replica costumes. They end up taking a bunch of funny pictures since the style is just OLD and looks terrible in a modern setting

As the date starts to close Momo feels anxious, wonders if they had a good time, if she was boring, if she got any facts wrong, second guessing herself, etc. 

S/O notices the shift in attitude and knows what that means. Takes Momo aside and assures her that they had a wonderful time on the date and there’s nothing to worry about

Momo hugs them tightly, grateful that she got something right and shouldn’t second-guess herself so much

Her date swoops in for a cheek kiss and well she’s a blushing mess after that and insists they leave the museum so no one else sees her being said blushing mess

Tsuyu

She has a pretty good grasp on her feelings and being honest both with herself and the people around her

So she just straight up asks her partner out on a first date without much hesitation. If they’ve been dating officially, it’s not a big deal – just the next step. If this is “I like you, want to go on a date?” first time thing, she’s only slightly nervous. No one likes rejection, after all

Tsuyu enjoys outdoor activities, so she’ll plan something around going to a local park where there’s a nice pond, gardens of beautiful flowers, etc. Overall a happy place to have a first date

Her mom helps her pack a nice picnic lunch for the date. Her younger siblings want to help too – and may teaser her a bit about OOOOH A DAAAATE – but they just put candy in the basket at the end of the day

They walk to the park together, Tsuyu initiating holding hands to lead them to where she wants the date to begin. Has a blanket set up under a big tree where they sit and enjoy a homemade lunch, talking about classes, classmates, and things totally outside of school and hero work

Tsuyu has a bit of rice on her cheek, her date pick it off and she actually blushes for once

They end up taking a walk to a small pond with frogs and fish, tossing the crumbs of their lunch to the animals. Tsu is of course fond of the frogs, and they like her, too. One of them hops up on her head when she bends down. Her date snaps a cute picture of the moment and keeps it as their phone background

While walking they come up on a little kid who is crying, saying he lost his mom somewhere in the park. Tsu, designated mom of class 1-A, has no problems comforting the child and offers to help find his mom or another authority figure. Hero work can sometimes be small, but no less important

She takes one hand, her date the other of the little boy as they walk around trying to find his mom. They swing him in the air between them making him laugh to calm him down

Finally find his mom who is super grateful. Recognizes Tsu from the Sports Festival, and mentions she’ll be a great Hero one day. A bit flustered at that, her date just pats her head at how cute she is since it’s rare that she’s embarrassed

They end up spending the rest of the evening just walking hand-in-hand at the park and settle down on a bench to watch the sunset over the city

She doesn’t want to take things too quickly, so she opts to skip a first date kiss and instead just enjoys quality time with her date away from school and the stress of working to become a hero

[justgradschoolthings]

❀The Art of Storytelling❀

*taps mic* Is this thing on?

Okay, I'll just be honest, I generally stink at introductions. I'm only professional when I absolutely have to be. Thankfully, since this is my blog, I don't technically have to be professional. Except for my professor will be reading this and I don't want her to think I'm a classless heathen.

Anyways, hi. My name is Ellie. I have my Bachelors in English with concentrations in creative writing and journalism. I'm currently working towards my Masters in Professional Writing while also working full time. I have no life, it's fine.

I know anyone who majored in some form of the arts in college heard the following phrases at least once:

Can you even make money with that degree?

What do you want to do with that degree when you graduate?

Oh, so you want to be a teacher!

You may want to minor in something more useful so you can actually get a job.

I could go on and on, but I'll spare you. And spare myself from the utter agony those phrases inspire in my soul.

I started writing creatively when I was ten years old. The first thing I remember writing was in the computer lab with my childhood bestie. I think the Twilight Saga was really big at that time, so we wrote stories about these two vampire girls. I have no idea what the plotline was beyond that. I'm now twenty-three years old, so it's safe to say I've grown far beyond the realm of sparkly vampires. If you're not on Team Edward you're very misinformed, though, just saying.

Rambling aside, I'd like to share the tips and insights I've learned over the years. Here goes. Here are some questions you may have about the writing process.

❁Where should I start?❁

I'd have a question for you in turn: what are you into? Are you a diehard Star Wars fan? Do you play sports? Do you play any instruments? When you're thinking about things to write about, don't push yourself too far! Write what you know. Write about what you love. Seriously. It sounds cheesy, but it's so true. The writing process will be absolutely miserable if you don't actually care about your topic of choice!

❁Is there any place I can look for inspiration?❁

Yes! Read. Read about your topic, in your genre, if you will, as much as you can. And don't groan at me like that. It may sound like something your teacher would tell you to do, but it's true. Reading has made me a better writer! For example, my preferred genre of writing is Young Adult Fiction, specifically in romance. Why, you ask? Because those are some of my favorite types of books to read! In reading more about what you write about, you can study the way they write. How do they use POV (point of view)? Do they write in first person? Third person? Past tense? Present tense?

❁How do I know if I'm any good?❁

The answer to this is simple and terrifying: have others read your work. I know, I know. Sometimes it's terrifying to put your own writing out there, to show it to someone else. But I can confidently say that I would not be the accomplished writer I am today without the gentle (and not so gentle at times) feedback of my peers and instructors.

❁Does writing require work outside of writing?❁

Of course. These beautiful sentences don't just form themselves. *Insert hair flip emoji* Really, though, it depends on the genre you're writing in. For example, if you're writing a movie set in the middle of World War Two, you'd be remiss not to have your facts correct. After all, this was a war involving actual human beings, some of whom died so we could be free. I actually wrote a movie set in a concentration camp, and let me tell ya, I think I researched more than I actually wrote the movie. If you want your story to be authentic and believable, you have to do your homework. Get the facts straight, and get them in reputable places, please. Wikipedia is handy but it is not reputable. Websites ending in .org or .edu are good examples of credible sources.

❁Are there any good places to find inspiration for writing online?❁

Absolutely! If you search writing prompts on Google, you'll get tons of ideas. These are some of my favorite places to go when I'm in need of some inspiration or have writers block.

This sub-Reddit

Writer's Digest

I've found great dialogue starters here

I think that's it! If you've made it this far without getting bored...I'm glad. Time to go adult now. Boo.

⸻ Ɛℓℓιє

[kaleidoscopic-writing]

Mind Over Matter

Chapter 5: That Gold Mine Changed You

        The first few days back home were taxing to say the least. Mum and Dad were trying to be on their best behavior, and so were Ali and I. My dad was just a loud and boisterous person as it was, so he was up to his usual antics. My mum was clearly annoyed at my dad for his existence it seems most of the time, but she was trying to not call him out. Alison and I just had to deal with this and my mum’s ability to cut you with her words. 

       When we were at dinner the first day, I was telling them how I finished my first semester. I had all A’s, although two of them were A-’s. I slaved over these grades; I was happy with these grades. I was in the top decile of GPA’s for my class at UCL this semester, and all my mom responds with is “Try harder next semester. Minus reflect poorly.” There was no humor in her voice; she was serious in her reprimand of me. She didn’t know me to know how hard I worked for these grades and how they don’t come easily at UCL. 

      My mom never even went to uni, but that is a whole other story. My dad didn’t either until later in his life. Alison, of course, went to the Tisch School of the Arts in New York University. She had been acting long before she went to uni, but it was still a testament of how good she was that she got in there and graduated from there.

All those things happened in the past few days. It was morning and a fresh start to the day. Walking down the stairs for breakfast, I spotted my mum and Ali sitting at the kitchen table. Both had a plate in front of them and a cup of tea in hand. With a creak in the floor beneath my foot, both their heads turned to greet me. 

“Good morning, Edie. There is some eggs and toast on the stove,” my mum said before turning back to Ali. They continued their conversation as I made myself a plate before sitting down next to Ali and across the table from mum. “We were just talking about my new movie,” Ali filled me in. “Was just telling mum about Brady.”

I turned to mum with wide eyes. “Brady Cooper, mum. He is sooo fit.”

She raised her eyebrows at my seriousness and let out a small laugh. 

“Is this a big budget or indie film?” My mom asked, turning about her attention back to Alison, not responding on my comment.

“It is an indie film, limited theatre showing. I think it could really help my portfolio though,” Ali said with a sip of her tea.

“Big awards contender,” my mum questioned.

“Possibly. Depends on how it is received,” Alison said, nerves evident in her voice. To me. I don’t know if my mum notices her apprehension to her questioning. 

“Well let’s hope,” my mum said with a small smile.

Dad entered the kitchen then with a loud “Good morning, beautifuls!’ He was too loud and too happy as usual. He walked in the room, walking over and giving mum a kiss on the forehead. She smiled at the contact, but it almost seemed forced, like there was a moment where I could see the annoyance on her face. But, my dad pulled away, and my mom’s face was neutral again.

“What are we ladies talking about,” my dad asked over his shoulder while pouring himself some tea.

“Alison might be in an award contending movie,” my mum cut in, raising her head slightly to speak over my shoulder line.

Before my dad had a chance to respond, Ali cut in, “I don’t know if it is an award contender. It is just a project I am doing.”

Mum just barely rolled her eyes when I looked at her, Ali and my dad were looking at each other, so only I saw my mum’s reaction.

“Well, that is amazing. Big things for my big girl,” dad said as he came down and sat next to mum, completely our square at the table. 

“Dear god, dad. Stop saying that. It is so cheesy,” Alison scoffed.

“Never,” my dad jeered. 

“Are you going to the Oscars this year, Ali?” Mum spoke again.

“Haven’t got the invitation yet but I assume so. I’ve gone the past two years,” Alison said. I could hear the slight annoyance in her voice. She was getting tired of mum’s prodding question. 

“Well let’s hope they invite you again. Oscar appearances are always great for boosting your image,” mum said with indignation in her voice. Almost like she was trying to teach Ali lessons, as if Ali didn’t know her or industry, or as if Ali wasn’t already one of the UK’s most well known actresses. Mother knows best.

I forewent watching the movie with my parents, opting for some alone time. After sitting in my room for sometime, I decided that I wanted more books to read, and that I could grab some from the library and take them back to school. I knew my father had the book somewhere in the house, as I had seen it in the library before, so when I ventured into the quiet library, I then had to figure out where the book would be amongst the bookshelves. Mum and Dad were very unorganized, partly because they didn’t speak to each other enough to have a cohesive organization system but, also, because I don’t think they appreciated literature as much as I do. No one in my family did; I had always loved reading. Mum, Dad, and Alison were always so artistic in their own rights, but I don’t have much creative ability. I have always been obsessed with literature, though.

 I could never come up with my own universes, my own stories, or characters with enough interpersonal struggle to warrant a story worth telling. So, reading was an escape. Whether it was romantic novels, classics, or alternate universes of dystopian reality, I had always been in awe of literature’s ability to allow you to step into another character, another life. I walked along one of the bookshelves, my fingers spread out, running them lightly along the books and feeling the bumps by the different sizes and widths of the books. 

I had a good portion of the books in here, at least, but I promised myself that one day I would read all the books in my parents’ library. To read all that they have read. To have those connections to them and to understand books that have moved and shaped them.

After a few minutes, and taking a few books off the shelf to bring back to my room, I was still looking for my dad’s copy of The Great Gatsby. I had read a few of Fitzgerald’s novels this past year, and I had finally gotten around to wanting to read The Great Gatsby now. I had seen the movie a few years back with Leonard DiCaprio, another major love of mine, and I knew I would have to read it someday. It had always been one of my dad’s favorite books, if not his number one favorite book. He used to tell me about it when I was younger about Jay Gatsby’s rise to affluence from a means of nothing. I think my dad always felt like he could relate from the aspirations of Jay, coming from nothing and gaining wealth, fame, and reputation from his music. I don’t know though how Dad must relate to the fragility of Jay’s empire and the consequences of striving for too much. I mean, my dad has always had his struggles, but he still has all that he holds dear.

Finally, a green bound leather book, with gold lettering that I have seen many times over my childhood on my Dad’s desk sat right in front of me. My fingers stopped brushing along the rows of books, taking a second to feel over the spine of the novel and feeling the leather under my skin. I was so excited that I could finally read it. I hadn’t told my father yet that I wanted to read it, but I know that it will make him happy. Hopefully. I don’t really know with him these days. I don’t know how he couldn’t be happy, to share his favorite world with me as I am excited to glimpse it. 

But, then, one of those moments happened.

It feels like time stops — that you experience a moment you would give an entire world to reverse but never can. A moment where the sheer odds of occurring are one in a million, and yet, somewhere out in the cosmic universe, the odds decide to play a cruel joke on you, yanking you from your blissful ignorance and placing you in your utter reality. A reality that you should be completely used to at this point, but each time these moments happen, you feel like someone threw an ice bucket on you. It’s that shocking feeling when you realize some things will never change, no matter how hard the things’ appearances might, or in this case, how hard someone appears to have changed.

When my fingers had pulled out the little leather book, the sound of a packet falling made my world stop. Even when I first looked down to see the packet between my feet on the floor, I was still in complete confusion at the twist in events. It wasn’t clicking that there was a packet hidden in the bookshelf with my dad’s favorite book. It wasn’t clicking that this little packet had a white power on it. It wasn’t clicking, until it did. 

My dad was hiding cocaine in his bookshelf. Which still seemed hard to process because my dad had been clean for years. He had been clean since…

“This wasn’t right. Something is wrong,” I frantically thought to myself. But as my eyes stayed on the little white package, I realized the only thing that was wrong was my Dad. This packet between my feet confirmed every wall and blocks that I had put around myself. The reason I was so closed off, and it all comes down to this white packet on the floor. 

“What the actual fuck,” I finally spoke aloud, to no one but myself.

I bent down and picked up the packet. I must have stared at it for minutes, wrapping my head around the impossibility of the predicament I found myself in. I could have very easily picked every book in this library off the self except that one and gone on my merry way, unaware of my father’s secret. But, I chose the one book that revealed my father’s lie to me. 

I guess he did relate to the fragility of Jay Gatsby’s life style and the dark secrets he held.

With the packet in hand and anger boiling within, I slammed the book down on the desk adjacent to the bookshelf. Storming out of the room, my feet were walking faster than my brain could process. I should take time to go to my room, figure out how I was going to handle this situation and address my dad for his bullshit. But, I didn’t do that. Before I could blink, I was entering the living room. Whatever movie they were watching was still going on. The lights were dimmed but still on. However, they flashed to full brightness when my finger reached out and turned them all the way out.

My chest was burning and my eyes were stinging by the time all three heads in the room snapped by way, startled by the saddle turning on of the lights. Their confused looks didn’t stop me from my march to the center of the room. Rounding the corner, I heard mum call out my name, sounding confused, but I didn’t answer.

I stopped in front of the three of them, all sat comfortably on separate chairs. I threw down the packet on the coffee table in front of them all. My chest heaved uncontrollably. I could hear my heart beat in my eyes. All their eyes were on the the table and the little packet I just threw down, but mine were on my dad. His wrinkled forehead pulled down in confusion, his eyes squinting. And, when he realized the situation, all the air left his body, shoulders slumping. His head tilted downward in what I hope is shame but my as well but annoyance he was caught. 

Mum and Ali didn’t speak then. Their eyes had risen to mine; I could feel their gazes in my head. They knew what was about to come. An explosion of family catastrophe.

It was utter silence until my dad finally raised his head slowly, sad eyes meeting mine. His mouth opened to speak, but I surprised even myself when I spoke quicker.

“What the fuck is this,” I almost yelled. Anger clear in my voice, and tears visibly welling in my eyes.

“Eden, please let me explain,” he said softly. His hand reached out to touch my arm, but I stepped back.

“How long,” I cut him off, with a shaking voice.

“Eden,” my dad spoke again. 

He clearly did not want to answer my question. He was avoiding the truth, which proved to me that this facade had been going on for quite a long time.

“HOW FUCKING LONG,” I screamed, tears rolling down my cheeks. I could feel the heat in my face. “Has it been this whole time? Everything we’ve been through, everything YOU PUT ME through, was all for shit.”

In the quietest voice I have ever heard my loud-spoken dad speak in, he said through the silence, “A few months after I left rehab.”

The incident occurred two weeks before my thirteenth birthday. He entered rehab a few days after being released from the hospital, almost went immediately from the hospital to the facility. Of course, I didn’t see him during that period. I didn’t see him for almost a year. I couldn’t look at him after the incident. My center of reality had completely shifted. My world had completely tilted over because of my dad. Now, five years later, he hadn’t learned any lesson. I realized he never would.

“You are sick and selfish. I have tried to forgive and forget because I thought you had gotten better, but I know now the only thing that got better was your ability to hide it,” I said. My body trembling and my knees weak. Ali, finally not being able to stand my duress, stood up and came to stand by my side. Her arm wrapping around my back and gripping my other side. Her arm gave me support not only physically but emotionally to feel her standing beside me. My dad’s head hung downward, in guilt, shame or sadness, or maybe even all of them. I could hear my mum sadly sigh. I turn my head towards her. She seemed uncomfortable and sad, but I was past the point of compassion. 

“Did you know,” I bite out to her.

With the solemnest of motions, she slowly nodded her head. I tried to scoff, but it turned came out as more of a sob.

“You are both unbelievable, insane, and devastating.”

“Eden, it hasn’t been like it has been before. Your father has it controlled.” My mum tried to reason.

I shook my head.

“Dad clearly has no control if he has resorted for years to the thing that quite literally killed him and has chosen to lie about it rather than rebuilding the foundations of this family that he broke that night.”

There was silence. No objections from my parents. All I felt besides sheer anger was the squeeze of comfort on my arm from Ali. I could see her mouth quivering and tears falling down her cheek.

“I am leaving. I can’t be in this house since it is clearly all a lie. Don’t even think about trying to contact me.”

With that, I stormed out of the room just as I had entered it. The entire path to my room seemed like slow motion. Everything had piled up in just a few minutes, and I felt like I was being suffocated underneath it all. Once I got into my room, I slammed the door behind me and fell down to the ground. Scrunching my legs up to my chest I wrapped my arms around my legs and cried into my shoulder. 

After a minute or two, I felt the overwhelming urge to move, to get out. Standing up, I grabbed my suitcase from the corner and began pilling all my stuff back in. Rushing over to my dresser, I pulled out more clothes. I had planned to bring more clothes with me back to school, but now in such a hurry, I couldn’t grab as much as I wanted. Finally when my suitcase couldn’t fit anymore, I closed it up and grabbed my backpack of my desk, stuffing my computer and books inside of it.

It was in my hectic pacing that I heard the subtlest knocks on my door, and I was not surprised when Ali stepped in a few seconds later because I knew my parents had just enough reason to give me space. Her face looked so sad; her eyes taking in the scene of my scattered but more barren room with my things packed. 

“I can’t go home with you, Eden,” she spoke softly. 

I stopped my pacing to look up to her. She seemed really cut up, but I don’t understand why she wouldn’t leave.

“What? You won’t? But, you saw.. you know,” I trailed off, eyes beginning to burn again.

“Eden, I would much rather be with you in a heartbeat. I didn’t know about dad, and if I did, things would not be what they are right now. I’m not staying to be with mum and dad. I told you I have that meeting with the director on the second here in Manchester. It’s massive; I can’t reschedule.” 

Ali stepped forward to me, arms outreached. I hugged her back without hesitation. We held each other tightly. I knew she understood my anger. She wasn’t there when everything went down, neither was mum, but no one understood the effect it had on me more than Alison. No one knew me better than Alison.

“Can you drive me to the train station?” I said to her as we hugged.

“Of course. Let me go grab my keys,” she said pulling away.

Once again, I was alone in my room. My eyes wandered over my life within these walls. Pictures from my childhood littered the walls. This home was so happy, but I couldn’t stand it right now. My dad and I had our rocky times, but my final year or two home when I was in college were good to us, when he was home, that is. He was a way for a good portion of the year due to his music, but when he was home, we were comfortable to each other. I could relate to him more as mum and I came to more of blows. He was away enough to not see mum and my fights, but here enough to understand my mum was unruly. But now, I was saddened by him. I have had conversations with Katherine in the past about whether he uses when he was on the road. I told myself that he wasn’t because I don’t think a person could break themselves with a habit like that after what it had done to them, like if you have a harrowing enough experience to something you can finally cut the straw. I should have known better I guess. My dad should have known better.

Grabbing all my things, I gave my room one last look over. My entire childhood was in this room — the good, the bad, and most importantly, the ugly. Turning back and walking out, Alison met me outside her room in the hallway, and together, we walked out of the house. I didn’t spare a glance anywhere besides my path to the front door. I didn’t know where my parents were; I didn’t want to know. The house was completely silent, unsettling.

Alison and I drove to the train station in silence. Both too caught up in our own heads to begin the conversation. How did we both go on from here? What did this mean for our family? Our incredible fucked up family. I was just over it. Everything that came with my parents life was cancerous. The fame. The money. The drugs. I couldn’t handle it. I wasn’t normal. All I wanted in life was stability, and the cautionary tales of fame and fortune just seem to be proven again and again in my family. It will never be me. 

Once Alison parked outside the train station, we sat in silence for a moment. But, Alison was the first to break. 

“Kathryn is going to pick you up from the train station. I texted her,” she said softly.

My eyes begin to burn again as I turned towards Alison and hugged her so tightly. Alison may be like my parents in lifestyle, but she could never be them. She understood me and why I have been pushed to the opposite side of the spectrum from Mum and Dad. She took care of me.

“Thank you, Ali! Please come home quickly,” I said as my breathing began to calm.

“I will, Eden. I’m sorry that you have to go through this.”

“It isn’t just me, Alison. You are stuck with this fucked up family too.”

I pulled away and stepped out of the car. Opening the backseat door, I grabbed my bags and gave Alison a parting ‘I love you.’ Walking to the train, I was leaving behind this disaster of a trip. I was worried coming home. Leaving for college took me away from the toxicity of my family, but I guess, I will never escape it.

Finally getting my seat on the train, I slumped down into it, which made me realize just how exhausted I was. I was just drained of everything. Within minutes of the train beginning to pull out of the station, I was pulled into sleep. My eyes were closing and the nothingness and reprieve of sleep was calling my name. I wasn’t fighting it. Soon enough I would be home, my real home in London, and I would be away from all that has transpired today.

I’m glad this is how I get to end my last two days of 2017. My life is a joke.

[mrsslrss]

2017

I rang in 2017 drunk and crying. I left a New Year’s Eve Party where all my friends and I drank down the clock and M and I went home, and I had been obsessed with “Love More” for a few weeks so as soon as we got back to the house I put it on over the stereo. Anyway about ten seconds in I started sobbing and I couldn’t, for the life of me, explain why. (I wasn’t even sad! It’s just such a beautiful song!) M just put his arm around me and kind of half-laughed and told me it was going to be okay in a quizzical but very convincing way and eventually I stopped crying and the song played itself out. I think that about sums it up.

Anyway I think we can all agree that 2017 was a weird year in a grand sense, which I don’t feel compelled or equipped to speak to. But it was weird in a personal sense, too. The year started in that mass of feelings for me; I dyed my hair pink; I lost someone I cared about deeply, which hurt in a place I didn’t expect or understand. The other side of that month was the Women’s March: housing twenty friends from Boston and Brooklyn and elsewhere in a spirit of earnest and viable and real solidarity that nearly broke my heart.

In the spring I worked a lot, and eventually got to travel across the country and fall in love with a couple different cities: New York (Life After Youth, celebrating my 25th); Seattle (Bois Naufrage, fancy coffee, riding the bus); Austin (freeways, rental car, KUTX, wildflowers). In the summer, Keeper put out a tape – bittersweet timing, just before Sam moved back to Texas – and I got a few days on the Cape with the crew. I worked weekends and drank green juice and read novels. In the fall I got really into that Fever Ray song and memorized the opening passage of The Argonauts and finally made it to DIA: Beacon.

Overall, I think, it’s been a head-above-water kind of year for me, where I mainly got caught in a cycle of exist-process-react-exist without creating much. I spent a lot of time thinking about my feelings but still can’t exactly mark the growth. Sometimes stillness is a sign of change, though; maybe I’ll count that one as a win. So here’s a list of 10 things (big and small!) that I saw, heard, watched, made, felt and loved in 2017, that helped me get through the year.

The Heart Season: “No”

Before this year became the kind of dumpster fire in which you hear everyday about new ways that powerful, prominent men treat the women around them terribly, The Heart was talking about consent in a genuinely nuanced, genuinely feminist way. The “No” season was four episodes long, during which host Kaitlin Prest stared down specific instances in her own life where consent’s gray area reared its fucked-up face, and explored where the experiences left her – how they influenced her sense of self, how they shaped and informed her future sexual (and non-sexual!) encounters. And then she broadened the scope, ignoring the easier narratives – “yes means yes,” “no means no,” “consent is sexy!!!!”, rhetorical devices so exhausted and exhausting – and instead asked harder, realer questions about the intersections of desire, fear, gender, pleasure, and autonomy. It gave me language I didn’t know I needed and set a model for a kind of audio storytelling I didn’t know was possible. I wish they played this at every college orientation across the country.

Turning The Tables

What if we appreciated women’s art apart from maleness entirely? What would it look like to tell the story of popular music through only women’s greatness? That was, crudely put, the mission of the list of the 150 Greatest Albums Made By Women that NPR Music published this year. Being part of this project was huge: it meant absorbing massive amounts of history, rethinking canon, getting to be an editor(!), working with some of my biggest professional idols. Mostly, though, it meant devoting much of my working life to the intersection of radical feminism and rock and roll. What a dream.

Drag

I was drawn to art that felt genuinely subversive this year, but it mainly played out in moments of surprise: disappointment from expectations I didn’t realize I held being left unmet; utter radiant joy when this need I didn’t know I had was fulfilled. Maybe the most memorable time it happened was in June, at GAY/BASH, a monthly experimental drag show in D.C. It was the first time I saw drag IRL, which would maybe have felt subversive no matter what – but probably few things would have matched watching a drag queen in a red white & blue housewife dress penetrate the eyeholes of a Trump mask with a strap-on. Incredible! Tell me you can watch that and feel unmoved. My friends and I went back to GAY/BASH every month after that. The music was always perfect: The Knife and Paramore and No Doubt and Cher, etc. But mostly what felt so powerful was the company: being in explicitly gay spaces full of gay and queer people, where abject expressions of sexuality and of gender trouble felt neither like threats nor invitations to violence.

There was also, of course, Sasha Velour, the cerebral art-queen who was crowned this year’s winner of Rupaul’s Drag Race. I saw her on tour with other season 9 queens this summer; her lip-sync of “Praying” by Kesha was perhaps, no lie, the most moving musical performance I saw in 2017. She embodied and embraced the reality so many of us face as women and queer people: victims and victors, agents and acted-on, mired in both hope and fear on a near-constant basis. It was transcendent. 

Ramen

On a less serious note, D.C. is, like many cities, in the midst of a ramen craze right now, and if I’m honest I spent an inordinate amount of the year benefiting from it! And from the fact that a few places will even deliver ramen right to your house if you have the right app! (Also, there’s a lot to be said about cultural appropriation, the devaluing of non-Western food traditions, etc. in these contexts; I am trying to keep learning and will leave the explanations to folks smarter than I.)

Tank And The Bangas

I called this band the “best band in America” all year and I meant it. Their Tiny Desk concert was both an exhale (after the stress of running the Contest itself) and an inhale (before an unrelenting and enthralling month of tour with them). I saw Tank and the Bangas perform eight times in 2017; their positivity never got stale, their exuberance never felt forced, their passion never wavered. They sound like no one else I know. Goddamn, I love this band. The best band in America!

Therapy

I went back to therapy this year after not really going since childhood but thinking about finding someone to talk to and being jealous of friends’ casual off-hand remarks about their therapists for years. I went mostly because of this thing that happened last December involving some brutal unkindness from a loved one that was so vicious yet unexpected it left me feeling startled and knocked off course, like having been shoved from a great height and, after shaking off the dust, finding myself very alone. I thought it was a minor disturbance but it actually burrowed pretty deep into me and I wound up freaked out about a bunch of stuff, so long story short: I finally found someone to talk to.

I will save my breath about how mental health care should be accessible and de-stigmatized. I will say that therapy made my year better in a lot of ways; mostly, in that I had a dedicated time and place to work, patiently, on some things that felt really paralyzing. (It also taught me some useful concepts, like the idea of psychological safety and the Buddhist teaching of the “second arrow,” which I then snuck into some of my favorite writing I did this year. Win-win.) Nothing is fixed, obviously; therapy has felt mostly like a drawn-out emotional root canal all year, which is to say, I still nurse the same ache that sent me. But I’m grateful and I am learning and it’s starting to feel less self-indulgent to want to address my bullshit. I recommend therapy to everyone! If you’re interested in talking to someone, here are some affordable resources.

Iced Americanos 

There are precious few things that get M out of bed early: the promise of imminent skiing; a genuine emergency; and coffee. I’ve relied heavily on the third one this year to squeeze in a half-hour of quality time with him before I go to the office. Listen I know this is cheesy as h*ck but it truly improves the overall quality of my day! Anyway the iced coffee at our corner coffee shop is not for me but the baristas take great care with their espresso shots so I started getting iced americanos instead and now I have been converted to an iced americano grrrl, even in winter (true to my New England roots). And a morning-coffee-with-your-boyfriend grrrl. Gross! I can’t help it.

Creative collaboration

Madeline Zappala is both a dear friend of mine and a total badass artistic inspiration to me. I was so glad she asked me to help edit her magazine, Reflections on the Burden of Men – and that she (and her co-creator, Laura) accepted a short piece I wrote about being disgusted by sexuality, or maybe more so by the insistence that women perform it for patriarchy, feeling isolated from my body, wanting to not want what I want. Editing the writing in the magazine was a dream! And watching it come together was so instructive. Go get a copy! (Or just pick up some unsolicited dick pic stickers, a real thing they made.)

2017 was a pretty exciting year for Keeper, too. Between January and August – when Sam moved back to Texas and Keeper became a project with a less coherent identity – we played amazing shows and put out a tape and met a lot of really lovely people. I learned a lot.

Female solidarity

I never got the appeal of using the phrase “work wife” to describe a lady BFF in your office before this year (too close to “girl crush,” which, I maintain, is basically homophobic; plus, who wants to replicate the capitalist heteropatriarchy of the marriage-industrial complex in your office friendships, of all places?!) but now I have two and I totally get it. There’s really something special about working alongside women like me, and having them be people who are willing to take a lunch break or walk to Starbucks (lol) so we can encourage each other through weird career stuff, or vent about male incompetence, or gush about new music, or interrogate what it means to care about feminism or justice or epistemology or whatever in 2017, which is mostly what we did. Some of the most enriching and important conversations I had this year were these; we often joked about the positions of authority we’d have, the raises we’d get, the articles we’d be assigned if only the People In Charge heard the conversations we had around cafeteria lunch tables!

Of course, there was also the mere fact of having lived with three other women throughout this year, creating a home that was a constant space for frank discussions about shared oppression; there were days of 8+ hours of GChat sessions that formed a virtual safe space; there were the year’s albums that spoke to the bizarre, incredible realities of womanhood. And all of this happening in the context of women coming forward about sexual assault, women journalists reporting on it, all of us whispering #MeToo on the internet. It was a year that, for me, fostered a consistent and palpable sense of solidarity among us. I needed it.

The “Thief” music video:  

Lastly: this is, maybe, the most wonderfully terrible music video I have ever seen. I first heard about this on the now-defunct podcast This Week Had Me Like, which I sorely miss, and now it’s rare that my housemates and I go more than a month without watching it communally. It’s histrionic in the best way, nonsensical, totally delightful. Thank you, Ansel Elgort.

[lux-i-fer]

I was tagged by @casuallydeliciousphilosopher, @leydehermione, and a @adragonstale and I’m getting all of them out of the way in one post! I tag whoever; if you wanna do it, go ahead.

RULES:

Post the rules

Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

Write 11 questions of your own

And tag 11 people

Questions from @casuallydeliciousphilosopher

1. Are you a cat person or a dog person?

CATS all the way. They’re big, fat, purring balls of fluff, what’s not to love?

2. What upcoming movie are you the most pumped for?

Okay so it’s a slow-going process and whether or not it will go all the way through production is debatable, but The Night Circus is hands down the most hyped I’ve ever been for a movie.

3. Do you play a musical instrument? If so, which one(s)? If you don’t, which one(s) do you wish you could play?

I’ve played flute for 6 years now!

4. Would you rather live in the country or the city?

Country for the win–much quieter and no nosy neighbors

5. Apple or Android?

Android because external storage and no ITunes 

6. What are your favorite and least favorite foods?

I love fried rice from this little Chinese place in my city, but I absolutely hate Thanksgiving stuffing.

7. Which one of Gordon Ramsey’s iconic insults gives you the most life?

“What are you?” 

“I’m an idiot sandwich.” 

8. If you could swap places with a fictional character for one day which one would you pick? Why?

1. How dare you. 2. How dare you make me pick one. I’m going with Clary from The Mortal Instruments. TMI is a book series I’ve loved for as long as I remember and Magnus has been a real sass role model for me. (Side Note: I have an entire shelf that just holds all of my Cassandra Clare books).

9. What animal (real or fantasy) do you wish that you could have as a pet?

I’m sticking with my cat ;) He’s already a unicorn in my book.

10. How long would you survive if the zombie apocalypse happened?

I’m the last man standing!

11. What is your dream job?

Being a music video critic would be pretty cool tbh. I love music videos and the stories they tell.

Questions from @leydehermione

1. How many languages do you speak? Which ones?

I only speak English fluently, but I’m in the process of learning Spanish. 

2. If you could be a superhero, what power would you like to have?

I want wings! (preferably Luci’s pretty angel ones)

3. Favorite quote?

“You think, as you walk away from Le Cirque des Rêves and into the creeping dawn, that you felt more awake within the confines of the circus. You are no longer quite certain which side of the fence is the dream.” –The Night Circus

These are the last few lines of the novel and they give me chills every time! 

4. What is one issue you feel passionate about and why is that?

Double standards. You argue for one thing and turn around and become a hypocrite when it’s the other side of the coin. 

5. What is one thing you would like to try but haven’t yet?

Traveling outside the country! I have no money and no time rn.

6. If you had all the money you needed to do so, where would you like to travel?

Spain, for sure. I want to experience the culture and work on my Spanish.

7. What is your favorite villain in a movie or book?

Heath Ledger’s take on The Joker. Like you can’t even match that level of complexity and mystery that guy has.

8. What is one song that always gets you motivated and pumped?

Stutter by Marianas Trench. I’ve seen it live twice and both times I was on the floor/pit and, let me tell you, it is a WILD experience. There is so much energy and so much excitement in it that when it starts up everyone just automatically comes alive and are ready to dance. (And many bad dances have I done to it).

9. What things are you looking forward to in the next year?

I’m excited to see what comes my way!

10. What is one thing you love about yourself?

I get along pretty well with people much older than me and I consider that a good skill to have. 

11. If you could meet anyone from the past, who would it be?

Maybe Edgar Allen Poe? I love his poetry and I think he’d have some interesting things to say.

Questions from @adragonstale

1. What is your comfort ritual on a shitty day?

Watching trashy movies and eating a bunch of snacks while covered and blankets with the fireplace on is a pretty good remedy. 

2. If you could meet one person, no matter if alive or dead, who would you choose and why?

Ohhh I want to meet Tom Ellis. He just seems like an absolute peach to everyone he meets. Not to mention he’s hilarious and would probably make the best dad jokes (like for real). 

3. If you could change one thing in your appearance, no matter how unrealistic it seems, what would it be and why?

Wow this is really weird, but I wish my eyes weren’t as hooded. I have trouble finding makeup that will last me all day because my face is really, really oily and whenever I blink my eyeliner is bound to turn itself into a smokey eye within the hour.

4. Favorite childhood cartoon/ anime?

I still hold lots of love for the original Teen Titans and Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends. Like I’m not even gonna talk about the reboot Teen Titans Go! because I am furious that’s even a thing.

5. If you could master one kind of craft/art/ instrument, what would it be and why?

I wish I were good at painting. It seems like such a unique and beautiful talent to have.

6. How does your perfect life would look like?

Married to someone who will be my best friend and not feeling worried that my life is going in the wrong direction.

7. I need to know, because I so NOPE NEVER, do you miss school?

Lol I’m actually still in school. There’s definitely things I’ll miss and certain things I won’t.

8. When you are creative in any way, to you have a playlist for inspiration?

Y E S. I live for musical inspiration. I absolutely love music and I connect emotionally with a lot of it so it’s a really good way for me to zero in on a certain mood or tone.

9. One thing that others would find strange and weird about you

When I love something, I love something and I think that kind of passion scares a lot of people.

10. What are the things you collect?

I have a ton of old movie stubs, tickets, paper wristbands, and a ton of other useless mementos of things I’ve experienced

11. Your guilty pleasure?

Shitty, predictable, and cheesy rom-coms.

My Questions:

What is the last thing you took a picture of?

Do you have your holiday decorations up yet (and if so what are they)?

Storms or clear days?

What kind of jewelry do you usually wear?

LEAST favorite time period?

Guilty pleasure song?

Do you prefer strings or brass?

Were you a good kid or a bad kid in school?

What is your morning routine? 

Favorite article of clothing?

Are you superstitious?

[stargazersastronomy]

Cancer Risings, besides Virgo’s, are the most common ascending signs that I see the most of. Because Cradle of Filth and solo artist Lindsay Schoolcraft are releasing new albums soon I thought I’d write up a horoscope for Schoolcraft. Cancer Risings look like they could heal the world, they’re the type that when you look at them they seem like they’re you closest friend. Celebrities like Lindsay and Alissa are open about their veganism; like with Cristina Scabbia she’s vocal about animal cruelty as well. All this caring and vocal tendency can be very common among Cancer Ascendants. And when looking at this kind of native’s chart you have to look at their moon sign since Moon rules Cancer.

I see Libra moons almost constantly. People with this sign crave balance and beauty in their emotional lives. They want everyone’s feelings to be acknowledged making sure that things are fair between both parties. Moon in the IC (fourth house) desires this in their homes, both their ancestral homes and the ones they create as adults. They might have paintings or something aesthetically pleasing in their houses. Now what does all this mean with all of Schoolcraft’s Pisces influence?

Pisces sun, mercury, and Jupiter are very creative, very poetic. When I think of Mercury in Pisces the figure I think of is Aphrodite from Xena the Warrior Princess -- and Cinderella as well. Little known fact Pisces whatever the placement are to understand; they’re right up there with Scorpio. Not surprising since Pisces is the chameleon and wolf of the zodiac (look up native american astrology, so much better than the fish). If Scorpios are monochrome duality; Pisces are the rainbow colour gradient since you never know which face you’ll see.

Pisces Mercury’s love art, music, all things beautiful and creative -- they are similar to Taurus and Libra in this way -- however vocal words may be difficult for them. If you’ve read my blog you’ve discovered that I use music, art, and our pop culture media to explain astrology concepts. I have to use metaphors to get my message across. Pisces Mercury is fallen here; Mercury is very critical and exacting and Pisces (ruled by the twelfth house) is too drowning for them. This mercury therefore uses more abstract means so others will understand them more. They’re very good, very prone to writing about love and ANY kind of relationships. Here’s the song “You Forever” to explain this:

“It’s hard not to fall To the dark when you’re cold Your heart warms my soul Beyond all I know”

As for Sagittarius placements, check out my graphic I did here. The 1980s saw a lot of Sagittarius dominants. Now what does it mean that Schoolcraft’s totem is the wolf with the snow moon? 

THE WOLF

“Birth totem wolf individuals arrive on this plane of existence to learn the gift of the seer. As such, these souls are highly intuitive, with an ability to attain great spiritual heights as they seek union with the ancestors that walk the Blue Road of Spirit. Consequently, there is a part of the birth wolf soul that will seem to be somewhere far away, existing in another state of consciousness and not completely in touch with their physical surroundings or reality (as most would perceive reality to be). This is because some aspect of birth totem wolf is operating at a slightly different wavelength, with one ear tuned and listening for the voice of the great mystery. Herein lies both the greatest blessing and the greatest challenge of this particular birth totem. While taking up the robe of physical life, it is necessary to be in the physical world, to face in truth those things which may be uncomfortable, painful or "ugly" as it is a part of the educational process of the soul that walks in flesh. This is where the challenge comes for the birth totem wolf individual, as these are sensitive, compassionate and tender beings that abhor the thought of others existing in pain or suffering.” (Source)

So basically their musical note is F Sharp, and the wolf’s life-path is LOVE (I realize the last one is a little cheesy.) They get along better with the Snake (Scorpios) and the wolf’s duality is constantly shifting between solitude and companionship.

“The sun did shine on solstice day Pierced through the pines under where I lay In stillness wide I heard the wolves I could not hide as twilight took hold The quiet moon and astral noise Sent from afar a celestial voice Be not afraid and never fear You’re not alone, you never were“

And If that’s still confusing listen to “Wolf and Dog” by ReVamp.

THE SNOW MOON

The full moon of February. At this time the northeastern regions can give up their most heaviest of snow falls. This full moon is also called the hunger or hungry moon because the grips of winter can make it another lean month for the belly of both man and beast. 

February meaning might best be kicked off with a quick look at the etymology of the month's moniker. The word February is born from the Latin word Februarius, from Latin februare meaning to "purify" or "expiate."

In ancient Rome, Februarius was the "Month of Purification" and great festivities were held to reestablish the empire's focus on righteous living.  February is a transitional month, and so February meaning and symbolism will have a transitional feel too. (Source)

“ I, I cleansed their souls Consume the evil as a whole But one too much to control We are here now Ease your thoughts... Transcend the karma left behind Enchantment from our song Help you rid what burdens your mind “ (Karmaflow with Mark Jansen)

[istjproblems]

Hey I'm in between ISTJ and INTJ right now, could you say what convinced you you were definitely not an INTJ?

the fact that if everyone who actually knew me well IRL knew as much about MBTI as I did, they would all say I was an ISTJ

people who knew me in childhood would tell you that I was almost always in my own world (which was, honestly, the biggest thing that kept me thinking I was an intuitive for so long), but they would also tell you I had an unusually strong memory, wanted things to be the same exact way every time, very rarely stepped out of line unless you made me change direction or upset my sense of how things are supposed to be, paid attention to details, acted mature relatively soon, ate like four things and KNEW if someone had put some unwelcome ingredient in the cookies, described things with unexpected but understandable comparisons, was constantly working on drawing realistic art, when I got into something I was in it for the long haul, and sometimes when I got creative in a new way it was just absolutely weird.

people who know me now describe me as down to earth and consistent, among other non-typology related things, and some people have told me that I’m good at relating things to stories of times they had completely forgotten about.

sometimes, a lot of times, people are wrong about you. but if a majority of people who actually like you would give overwhelming evidence against your self perception, the evidence is at least worth considering.

addressing stereotypes with the fact that Si is subjective

this seems obvious, but if you actually think about it, it flies in the face of a lot of people’s perceptions of SJs. the stereotypical SJ is probably a middle class white dude who grew up in the American midwest or south, consumed all the same media as his peers, went to college for a practical major just like his parents, and landed an office job that he never had a compelling reason to leave. obviously no one actually believes that’s what all SJs are like, but we still have to be careful not to hear about how statistically normal they are and associate them with our cultural perception of normal. all you have to do is imagine our aforementioned stereotypical SJ being raised by musicians in Portland and you’ve got a completely different person. change enough variables and you could easily come up with ways for this person to feel distant from their own cultural norms. 

I may be off here, but I tend to think of type as a template for your personality, not actually your personality itself. you fill it in with your values, interests, experiences, etc., and you’ll keep doing that your whole life. 

mbti-notes has some really detailed descriptions of the functions, and they describe Si by what it does with the values and goals you already have, not as being the goal setter. 

the things that were or were not relatable about INTJ descriptions

a huge portion of well written INTJ content is relatable… with the exception of gut feelings and sensory overload

it’s not that I don’t ever get “gut feelings,” it’s just that I can probably count the times I’ve had them on one hand. but even then, once it comes I will immediately start backing it up with evidence. like, of course this career path feels right, look how many ways it lines up with my skill set. and then that arsenal of evidence propels me to follow it, keeps me going when I lose inspiration, and creates the greatest source of confusion when things don’t work out. can I be single minded? absolutely. but I create that singlemindedness from real life sources.

same goes for sensory overload in situations that aren’t inherently unpleasant - it happens, but very rarely, and there’s usually something else going on (EDIT: when I wrote this I was specifically thinking of the fact that I don’t mind environments like concerts and busy cities where there’s a lot going on all around. Turns out my relationship was sensory overload is a little more complicated than that, but the point is, I couldn’t relate to intuitive doms who felt out of their element just because of the *amount* of sensory information to take in).

accepting other characteristics about myself that would be more understandable if I were an ISxJ

you know what does happen though? novelty overload.

a few years ago I ended up doing a lot of traveling. all of us who went were in agreement that we would do as many things as we could that were unique to the places we were visiting, and it was a great experience. but after weeks of exploring different streets with different people every week, pointing at pictures on menus to order, and not solidifying plans until the morning of, every recognizable thing you let yourself have - a starbucks, an album in your earbuds you’ve played 74 times, a store you have at your local mall - starts to feel like taking your shoes off after a 12 hour workday (even if it still feels a bit like you’re cheating in the game). new experiences are beautiful and important, but the constant mental background noise of “I don’t know what I’m doing” was tremendously exhausting for me in a way that I don’t think it was for the people I went with. we all had our things we had to work through, and that happened to be mine.

back to when I was figuring out my type - in addition to novelty overload, there were plenty of other Si/Ne seeming things I had to explain, such as:

 - really low patience for people who read too much into things

 - a near paranoia when I’m in a public place about doing things the way they are normally done, not being in places where I feel like I shouldn’t be, etc.

 - thinking of acquiring new sensory skills as being an extremely personal process (like instruments, sports, etc.)

 - reacting to traumatic events by expecting them to repeat themselves any minute

I don’t know if all ISxJs have those issues specifically but I knew I was reaching hard to call them Ni things.

considering other options for interpreting my internal monologues

debating current issues to try and explain why things are the way they are? all based on observation and a desire to have my observations not conflict with each other - trying to resolve cognitive dissonance is just human. drawing connections between the music I listen to and other things? music is sensory, I was literally entertaining myself with a reference system, next question. the mental block against coming up with specific examples? nah, dude, there are always examples, I just don’t often think they’re good enough.

being open to the possibility of being a different type, and ultimately embracing it

once I finally decided that I was open to changing my self typing, it became very easy to see my “new” type as a strength worth taking pride in, as cheesy as that sounds. it explained everything that I didn’t even realize I was working to explain away. everything I did, every thought I had over the next week or so, seemed to be another demonstration that I should have figured this out a long time ago, and I was honestly enjoying every minute of it.

.

anyway, I don’t know you, so I can’t possibly make that judgment for you. IxTJs can look very similar, although you wouldn’t know it from the way they’re caricatured. just because ISTJs are more common doesn’t mean you are one, but even if you were one it wouldn’t make your complete personality common. I would recommend finding good sources - mbti-notes has a ton of masterposts, otterdot is posting adaptations of source material, there’s a lot of stuff even on tumblr. thanks for the ask, and good luck!

[welcomerandumbness]

Morning guys! Say hi to Amber Peoples!! One of the many talented illustrator and so very sweet. Heres more about her!

Afternoon! I guess to start off, I am a Chicagoland Illustrator & Concept Artist that focuses a lot on afrocentric themes that can range from black love, community empowerment to more spiritual themes.

1.) What made you interested in the art community?

What made me interested is hard to say! I felt it has been one of those things I never had the choice of deciding because it was always there with me, I just needed to take that first serious step but as I got to a certain age, my steps became more focused as I realize I wanted to make profound messages heard—to make statements that I know would hit home, ranging from political to spiritual. I wanted to become to ultimate visual writer to make other see how I see. From the controversial to the simple everyday things that we take for granted often.

2.) How long ago did you start?

I’ve been creating all my life but I began to take things more seriously 10 years ago which was also a very vulnerable time as I first entered college life and was still questioning my future career path.

3.) Any artists that you took an interest in?

Way too many to name but some of my most inspirational ones are Qinni, Mshindo Kuumba, Kevin Wak Williams, Aaron Blaise and Bobby Chiu.

4.) What sort of pieces are you working on now?

Aside from regular commissions and a private ongoing comic project I have going on, I have some political and black love pieces in the works.

5.) Any conventions you plan on visiting any time soon?

No cons anytime soon but I’m very interested to see where I can get into next year!

6.) What does your art mean to you compared to what others say it means to them?

I always considered my art an extension of my heart and soul( as cheesy as that sounds) and while many may pay more attention to my work at surface value, the beautiful details and mood—at the same time I’d like to think, I’m revealing a parts of myself; like a personal thought from my diary.

7.) Have you thought of animating any work of yours?

I’ve thought about it, like animating a single image but not to the point of an animated series or anything. I love animation; just too draining for me personally.

8.) Have you drawn anything to share with your audience about what’s going on now with the KKK and Alt-Right?

I’ve considered it, especially pertaining to the current events and one of the pieces I’m working on now relates to theme actually!

9.) Any advice for those looking to follow your path and looking for reassurance?

As far as advice, I have a couple I try to stress all the time to upcoming creatives:

1. Embrace each small step and failure; as with life, you’re going to hit low points and question a lot of things; it’s inevitable but the mind is an insanely powerful thing so learn to find those lessons for each drawback—those will help you to get stronger and more intuitive in your creative process .

2. Don’t compare yourself to other artists! One of the worst ways to sabotage yourself and fall behind. Everyone has their own path and different timings; even the greatest artist you envy was a novice so be your own competition in the end.

3. Love what you do over the amount of support you want because your passion for what you love will keep you going even when you have moments of not being noticing enough. It takes TIME which passes by much faster than you think.

4. One more thing I’d like to mention is to have a support system and join a community/group that you know will be nothing but encouraging and help you grow. I’ve realized having the right people in your circle to fall back on— on your worst days is so beneficial for growth.

10.) What types of mediums do you use and you enjoy using?

I’ve used just about every medium except oils but my 2 favorite ones are digital and watercolor!

Don’t forget to follow Amber and enjoy as well as purchase some 😀

SquareSpace: https://apillustrator.squarespace.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ap_illustr/

[parniarazi]

March flew by so quickly, but it was full of incredible experiences and love. I’m so grateful for everything in my life, but especially for these moments that make my heart swell with pure joy and love for the world. It’s really a gift just be alive, but this month was really ‘work hard, play hard.’ 

I’ve been overwhelmed and anxious about school, graduating, and what my plans are for next year. Although it can still be stressful and difficult to get through everything I need to do sometimes, I’m so happy to start seeing my work and efforts pay off. This month I got accepted in my PhD program and with a tuition fellowship, which has been my goal nearly all of undergrad. Attending my grad orientation and becoming more familiar with the department and program has made me feel so exhilarated and confident about my choices and the path I’m pursuing. Being surrounded by thoughtful, educated people and being in a rigorous academic environment is going to help me grow so much, and although I know it will be difficult and a serious commitment, I’m glad to be at a point where I trust and know that what I’m doing is right for me. I still think about other things I would be good at doing (ex. pursing journalism or marketing) but at the end of the day I trust in the universe and the path I’m on, and I know my options are always open as long as my heart and mind are, too. 

The good news from grad school was the highlight of my month for sure because all the work for the GRE and application I put in was worth it. But I’m also incredibly grateful looking back at these beautiful experiences I was able to have this month, too. I got to attend SXSW for the first time and it was so wonderful and inspiring. I loved the small shows, the local yet international duality, and the progressive thinking and industries represented. It was really cool to experience this conference as opposed to the typical festivals I go to, and it’s something I genuinely grew and learned lots from that week. I also got to go home to Buku again, which always has a place in my heart because it was the first ‘edm’ festival I attended years ago, and it’s the hallmark of me falling in love with this music counterculture and with Pavel. It’s the only festival that legitimately feels like home and reminds me why celebrating individuality, art, love, and expression are so important. Getting to travel with new friends was also great, and I’m so happy I’m finally making genuine connections on my own after the last few years of feeling lonely and isolated in terms of friendship.

Speaking of genuine connections, Pavel and I have had our share of fights in the last few months, but I’m more confident than ever in our relationship and future. He has been there for me 100% over the last few years, supported me through my hardest times, and given me all the love and care I could ever imagine. It’s not easy to find people as outstanding and genuinely good as him. My heart feels like it’s glowing when I’m with him, and all the cheesiness of love songs/stories feel so relatable. I’ve never felt like I can be so authentically myself around anyone but him, and he brings out the best in me. Being in love with him is probably the best thing the Universe has gifted me with thus far, and our future is a constant source of inspiration for me. I’m so fortunate to be living in love like this and to have a partner through all the chaos of life. I am young, my heart is overflowing with love, and I see so much beauty in everyone and everything around me - and at times being in a relationship made me feel like I had to close off parts of myself that were feeling this way. Recently though, as Pavel and I have grown closer, matured, and began making more friends I’ve realized it doesn’t have to feel like a sacrifice to be with him. I deserve and can still have all the platonic love and deep connections I crave with other people, while both of us are still committed to building our life together. It’s a process, but I believe our human capacity for love isn’t and shouldn’t be confined by a romantic relationship. I’m glad to share love with my parents, friends, and someday kids. Getting a taste of pure love with Pavel has only made me more addicted and in search of expanding and sharing this intoxicating feeling of love with more people. I hope someday we can have a close friend group who become family, and then an actual family of our own. 

A lot of people chase money, chase what they’ve been taught ‘success’ is, and chase a vision that’s hollow. If there’s anything I’ve learned by reflecting on my experiences this past month is that creative expression, constantly learning, and genuine human connections are (and should always be) the most valuable things in life. Where I live, what job I have, or how much money I have doesn’t matter at all if I don’t feel satisfied in my connections and soul. I think as long as I am tapped into my heart and intuition, and I continue to let compassion and love flow freely from my mind, I will continue to live a life of abundance and success. Here’s to a busy month with ups and downs, but an incredible one nonetheless. 

Looking forward, I hope to establish more of a routine with work and school so I can put my in best to finish the semester strong, both financially and academically. With this, I also hope to create a little more time in my schedule to cultivate mindfulness, gratitude, and introspection. God isn’t some mysterious man in the sky, but instead is the pure source of light and love inside of each of us. We just have to connect with and develop stronger relationships with ourselves sometimes to unlearn all the bullshit and uncover that connection to higher energy that’s inside all of us. Even with all the frenzy of life happening so quickly around us all the time, making spirituality and caring for myself a priority has led me to live a much life healthier overall. Developing a spiritual system and beliefs of my own over the last few years has really helped me so much in all aspects of life, and I really hope to keep expanding these beliefs through my life experiences. Cheers the growth, success, and love I have thus far. I am endlessly grateful, and it’s only going to get better from here.