#<- defaulted to kin tags let us know if we should change them

[angels-archival-office]

✧ — niki moodboard ; with themes of loneliness and winter

[for: anon]

[the-sour-patch-crew]

Sorry I'm one of your followers and I gotta ask are you yourself radqueer? I've had very very bad experiences with them so id I were to say I wasn't safe for radqueers, I would.be moreso meaning of radqueers come around, my space is no longer safe for *me*

Just need to know if I need to unfollow,, thank you

Kit here, and im going to answer this as if it was directed only at me. Ashe feels similarly, and the other two have zero idea what any of this means.

I don't think I am? Most radqueers in system spaces I see paired with transID stuff, which I am VERY uncomfortable with. I don't go in radqueer spaces and I don't know enough about them to even begin to know if I'd classify as one or could relate to it in any meaningful way. I block transID and radqueer accounts (because they are paired together so often) when they show up in tags because of my own discomfort. Radqueer is one of those identities I see around that I've had little interest in getting myself wrapped up in discourse wise.

I have a very complex relationship with my own gender, sexuality, and overall identity, but it's not something that is ever going to affect anyone else outside of me. This does influence how I treat others who seem to define themselves in good faith. I think from what I remember seeing radqueers are known for being accepting of good faith labels, but to a radical degree. While I am all about letting people express themselves how they want, as it rarely affects anyone else, I wouldn't say I'm radical. I am very critical of plenty of things in online spaces and critical of a lot of labels people use. I am a complex individual with complex opinions that are always changing the older I get.

Now to all our followers

We would appreciate it if you would refrain from judging us based on any past community experiences and instead base it on how our account makes you feel. As a follower, if anything we've ever said has made you feel unsafe, then you are welcome to leave. No hard feelings. However, if there hasn't been anything said or reblogged that indicates us being problematic to your health and safety, then I would say I am safe to be around.

I don't know what your experiences are, but I've always strived to be an accepting and welcoming individual. Doesn't mean I agree with everyone I interact with, but ideally, no one should view me as unsafe. Anti endos may, but that's only because we are a target to their hate. People I speak to online are strangers, my followers are wonderful but still strangers. I am by default polite and civil with strangers. That's just how I do things. Don't assume it means I'm something specific because of it.

Most of these current day communities and discourses I know ZERO about. General queer, system, and kin stuff is kinda my spoon limit for getting involved with online. My opinions and stances are complex. It's like politics. I'm not going to agree with everything or be the poster board child for either side. There's always complexities and nuances that can make someone not belong to either side or fit into a community. I've found that to be my lot in most things.

I'm furry, queer, plural, endo safe, daemian, and all together, I suppose, alterhuman. I don't use other labels unless it's to explain specifics, like my sexuality.

-Kit

[sebastianshaw]

Let's go wide and predictable... Tell me about the different WoD incarnations for Shaw. :>

OK SO First thing I am glad you are also a nerd for this so I don’t don’t to explain all these terms. Secondly wow I need to be better about tagging/organizing, I couldn’t find all the other posts on this I was SURE I wrote. SO HERE’S A BIG FAT POST, RIP YOUR EYES

VAMPIRE Lasombra: This is the clan I typically default to in answers for him AS YOU HAVE NOTICED. I mean, they’re dark aristocrats who are all about Social Darwinish, preying on the weak, and the strong reigning. They primarily enforce this subtly through political games, but they have NO PROBLEM throwing an elegant Potence-backed punch. While one would think that these proud predators demanding sniveling obedience---and one would, in a way, be right---they certainly don’t RESPECT it, and it can even induce violent rage in them. Fits Shaw to a T. Sure, the Catholicism/Church control and Spanish origins and attraction to the sea and Abyss mysticism aren’t for him, but hey, he fits the outlook of the Clan perfectly aside from the religious aspects, and no one fits EVERY stereotype of a clan anyway.  Most Lasombra are Sabbat, and he could be too, but he would be in it for personal power, not true belief in being the Sword of Caine. I can equally easily see him going antitribu for the political power and stability of the Camarilla.  My other choices for him are VENTURE which is pretty obvious, but also Gangrel, which sounds counterintuitive but I HAVE A REALLY GOOD ARGUEMENT FOR IT! WEREWOLF Shadow Lord. Total Shadow Lord for pretty much all the same reasons as Lasombra. Like just LOOK AT THIS QUOTE: “ The Shadow Lords are a fictional tribe of Garou (werewolves) in White Wolf Game Studio’s Werewolf: The Apocalypse role-playing game.   […]  The Shadow Lords’ lives are like a daily game of chess and a constant struggle for power […] Shadow Lords respect power and condemn weakness, any cub who’s not strong enough in their eyes is banished from the tribe [… ] None of the other tribes like them very much, or at all, but even the ones who hate them most don’t question their ability to get things done. […] perhaps the largest camp, the Lords of the Summit tend to be the stereotypical Shadow Lords - power-hungry, manipulative, ambitious, and arrogant. This by no means makes them less dangerous foes.” And like. . . .they focus on political and intellectual power FIRST, and that sort of character is typically physically weak. But as with the Lasombra, nope, the Shadow Lords had bodily power too; they’re described as looking more like over-muscled pit bulls in lupine form than wolves. So....yeah, that’s perfect. Because Shaw does fight “smart” first, he ideally never touches his opponent, but when he has to? BOY CAN HE PULVERIZE. So, Shadow Lord Shaw is a Homid, probably an Ahroun but maybe a Philodox, and he has a lot of Glass Walkers following him as well as fellow Shadow Lords; he finds great use in their technological talents and ability to adapt to an urban environment and OWN it (rather than just SURVIVE in its fringes like a Bone Gnawer, as he sees it) and they organize themselves in a corporate-like structure where he takes a natural lead.  While the Shadow Lords are stereotypically/traditionally Eastern European, they can be of any race today. Shaw’s dad is English, but since we never see his mom in canon, for this version I’m saying his mom was a great big Eastern European Shadow Lord, and that’s why he never knew her, because the Garou aren’t typically raising their own young. He’s just. . . .big brutal wolf boy. And has like a billion puppies/Kinfolk kids. I DREW HIM FERA Ok, so I picked a BUNCH of Fera for Shaw, and you know why? I could. Literally just because I could. I don’t have a DM to tell me no! I even picked extinct ones, BECAUSE I WANTED TO! Cat-wise, I like him as a Khan or a Khara. Are the Khara extinct? Yes. Do they really suit him, the way they’re described less as warriors and more just secret-gatherers? Not at all. I picked them because I just like the idea of him turning into a massive, massive black smilodon. Because I think it’s cool and I don’t have to respect canon here. He can be the last of the Khara and not fit them at all if I say so. And hey, he LOOKS like a prehistoric man already! As for the Khan. . . .of the extant Bastet, the Simba and Khan fit him best. And if I am being honest? The Simba probably are a better fit for him. And I’m fine with that. I’m fine with Shaw as a big ol werelion with a black mane. But I also just really, really like the Khan. And as I have made clear, I am running this show. So my first choice for him that isn’t a Shadow Lord, is a Khan. They’re most typically Indian, Chinese, or (due to breeding with colonizers in India) English, so he could be one of the English Khan, and hey, fighting the Wyrm gives him a good outlet for. . . himself. Their human forms are also typically tall and HUGE, upwards of 300 lbs, and they’ve sired some of the most beautiful kittens and powerful bloodlines. T “ The Simba may declare themselves nobility, but the weretigers fit the title. Regal hunters and warriors, these Bastet evoke the respect the lions demand. From the snowy mountains of Asia to the cities of India, the weretigers hunt the spawn of Asura and defend the last of their Kin. They’re solid, dependable, smart and strong. Their weaknesses, such as they are, come from being too trusting or too sure of themselves. Khan are straightforward and action-oriented, not clever schemers. Whatever a Khan does, he does full-tilt — fighting, romancing, hunting, studying, even contemplating. These Bastet throw themselves into all tasks with vigor and passion, and their bodies, in any form, bristle with vitality. Most Khan love company; though few of them can stand the presence of another of their kind for long, they often enjoy companions. And who would deny a tiger’s friendship? It’s said the Khan were brought forth to battle demons, and many of them take that charge literally. Vampires, Asura and fomori have few enemies more relentless than a tiger. Perhaps that’s why the Khan have been brought to the verge of extinction: They made too many of the wrong kind of enemies.” “ The tribe’s traditional cultures stress honor and obedience. The treachery of Nagda was worsened by the stain it put on the tigers’ pride. While solitary in nature, most Khan establish protectorates where they defend a given family or land against corruption. The fact that “defense” occasionally includes killing certain people doesn’t detract from the tribal purpose. The Kahn were created to war against demons. Those who court the darkness must die “ “ While many Khan tend to be bad-tempered and aggressive, others love company of all kinds (and are powerful enough to demand respect). “ So, is that ALL Shaw? No. He’d be a particularly nasty, scheming Khan, in fact, a little unusual for his breed. But that’s hardly unheard of. After all, the famous English Khan named Lord Clouster “had cobras for a heart; he tossed his own kuasha beneath the wheels of a train, fed his wife to a suttee fire by pretending to be dead, then killed his children when he found they did not carry the Changing Touch.” And another Khan, the Indian sultan Nagda, got into a feud with another Khan and “ taken over by his rage, the Sultan Nagda betrayed his race and used a tribal secret. During an eclipse, his assassins struck all over Asia, slaying nearly 100 Khan and many Kinfolk outright.” So, Khan can be bad too.  But not as bad as the Simba. “ “The Lords of Sunlight.” That’s what they call themselves. Like the blazing mane around the heads of their kings, werelions liken themselves to the sun. All things have a place and an order and rebels must be reminded of this fact. The real fact, of course, is that the other tribes dislike the lions; the Simba may call themselves “Lords of Sunlight,” but many other cats give them another name: “The Dark Kings,” an unflattering comparison to the Khan. The Simba aren’t villains; they’re magnificent lords, slayers of demons. Things are simply out of order. When the balance is  restored, when the humans know their place and the cities become graveyards, the lions will be proven right. The demons of the modern age can be traced to the end of the Impergium and the laxity of the Changing Breeds. The Simba mean to put things in order, and if that requires bloodshed, so be it. Warfare is the sport of kings” “ Werelions value strength and order. Despite their bloody reputation, Simba adore their loved ones, and watch their Kinolk closely. Children and kittens are raised within the pride and must constantly prove themselves to survive. “ “ Each pride has one Mtolo (“father”), or dominant male, and several Kirii (“wives”) and Anwana (“young hunters”). Small prides defer to larger ones, and may owe allegiance to a Chakuva (“High King”) like Black Tooth. “ So, Simba are very patriarchal, very hierarchal, and want to run everyone else and feel they’re entitled to do so by birthright,  and the more I talk the LESS it sounds like Shaw actually? Like don’t get me wrong, he’s proud and power-hungry AS YOU KNOW, but what sets him apart from Apocalypse or Magneto or Xavier is that Shaw has never sought to have mutantkind follow him. He has his own ideologies, but he has never sought to lead others or enforce it on them. So really, the Simba mentality of “we should be in charge because it’s us” DOESN’T work for him, nor does the idea of being entitled to do so, as Shaw’s “power first” mentality is all about EARNING your position, not deserving it automatically. It’s all very Fabian though! So I’ll leave that here as a bonus for you instead of going back and deleting it lol. yEAH HE’S A BAD KHAN, BASICALLY And his Pyrio, no matter what cat type he is, would be Night.  Each Bastet has a “Pyrio” meaning a classification of their general personality and what fields they’re likely to pursue and be talented in. “Like the Dark Father Cahlash, the favor of the Night indicates a sinister or hidden nature. Most Bastet with this Pryio tend to withdraw from others, concentrating on their own business unless interrupted. Although they might not be actively malignant, they have short tempers and quiet ways, and fiercely guard their privacy. Night Bastet prefer occupations such as assassin, scholar, scientist and dark mystic. In the wilderness, the Night cats are hidden hunters and man-eaters, with nasty dispositions and an eerie reputations. These are the cats whose deeds are told around campfires for years to come. If you’ve got a disposition toward the Night, activities that cause others discomfort, reinforce your private space or protect some valuable secret from outsiders can refresh your Willpower.” So yeah. Shaw is a night kitty.  Rats are not the type that fit him the MOST, but I drew him as a RATKIN WARRIOR anyway. Because rats. Also while I drew him as a Warrior, he could also be an Engineer or a Plague Lord (specifically sylphyllis; every Plague Lord contracts with a disease spirit and embodies its most horrific symptoms and I just love the idea of this hideous terrifying syph-ridden Shaw) And hey, he can get into the “culling humanity” and “survive so that you may breed�� deal! Most wererats also have very little kindness towards the weak either, despite being the underdogs of the Fera themselves. Likewise, hyenas aren’t the breed that fit him the most but I kinda dig the idea of him as an Ajaba? Their role was choosers of the slain, tasked with culling the sick, dying, and unfit. They were called rainmakers because of the tears their task brought to others, and they did not spare even their own. Then, the Simba came to their lands, and enacted genocide against them. They left Africa and spread across the globe, now breeding indiscriminately to survive and can be any race. What holds them together now first isn’t any duty, but the desire to simply stay alive. And both those things---culling weakness, and being knocked off his pedestal and now forced to fight for scraps in the shadows to survive---seem fitting for Shaw. The philosophy is obviously what he’s always had, and the degraded position reflects where he currently is in canon. He’s not usually the underdog, but he is here---but doubtlessly a brutal one, the Fera equivalent of a gang leader, recruiting  Also they’re matriarchal and I kinda like the idea of him having to deal with that, as....that kind of fits too? Shaw was the only MAN of note in the Hellfire Club. All the other most iconic, powerful, threatening members were women, and Shaw’s never really had a chance (or tried to fuck with) any of them. He’s USED to being around a ton of badass ladies who are calling the shots, that’s just TUESDAY for him.   Finally---FINALLY-- I could see him as the odd human-born Rokea. A Great White, of course. Again, it was probably his mother who was the Fera, some monstrous creature who came on land and mated with his human father, only to spawn this boy while still out of the water. All Rokea are ugly in their human state, but Shaw looks better than most due to being born on land and as a human, and he is also able to move through---and thrive---in human society. Since he is seen as a Betweener---one of the Rokea who “betrays” the Sea by living on land instead---stepping into what should be his natural habitat is always risky for him, as other Rokea WILL kill Betweeners on sight. And the single-minded nature of sharks leaves little room for explaining oneself.  Oh did I say finally SURPRISE I HAVE ONE MORE. The peaceful, matchmaking, extinct Apis don’t really fit SHAW aT ALL, and they’re EXTINCT, but I love the idea of him turning into a HUGE BLACK BULL. So here’s my explanation. The deal with the Apis is that when their numbers reached the single digits, a last handful of young Apis called Last Hope went into the Deep Umbra and haven’t been seen since. The “hook” in the 20th anniversary Changing Breeds book for their return is that maybe they finally came out the Umbra and back to the physical world. My idea is that he and HAVEN are mebers of Last Hope who have re-emerged in modern times to bring back their kind---something that rests entirely on SHAW’S shoulders, since Haven’s womb was cursed by the Wyrm. So it’s up to him to just breed with as many women and cows as possible. So he’s got an excuse! And as for why he’s so un-Apis, my explanation is that the trauma of their species being wiped out and the time that was allowed to fester in them during their long sleep in the Deep Umbra, drove Haven and Shaw to two extremes of Apis behavior. Haven took on the gentle caretaker side to the extreme, becoming so pacifistic she can’t fight or defend herself. Shaw went the other end, becoming so enraged and resentful that he’s become more like a bloodthirsty predator himself.  Eventually, they both fall to madness after re-emerging, but in the opposite ways that everyone expect. It’s the sweet gentle Haven who ends up Frenzying other of control in a berserker rage, rampaging across the city in massive bovine form, causing untold death and destruction until she’s put down. . . .while the cruel violent Shaw falls to a “cow version of Harano” sinking into a depression so profound he goes catatonic up until Haven’s own loss of sanity, at which point he throws himself on her horn. The story ends with the last of the Apis truly dead, but with a new hope for the species living on in Shaw’s children, who are showing signs of being Kinfolk or Apis themselves.

[amaranthkick]

A Therapy Werewolf, Part 5

(Part 1), (Tag for this story)

A teasing smirk formed on Shiro’s face. “Course I would look after you. You were acting like a big overgrown puppy.” He laughed heart light at Lance's indignant squawk.

“Did I really!?” Lance tried to pull back from the embrace but Shiro held tight. So he settled for hiding his flustered blush in his shoulder. He couldn't remember so it was hard to tell if Shiro was just teasing him or not.

Lance shook his head and denied it. “Don't remember, didn't happen.”

Shiro snorted finally letting go. “Fine, fine. I'll just ask Pidge or Coran for the camera videos so I can show everyone.”

Lance yelped then covered his face releasing an embarrassed whine. Oh- he really wasn't lying.

Shiro decided to have mercy on him and stopped his teasing, “Okay, I'll stop. But I'll have you know you know that while you were playful and adorable, it was almost like you were looking after me. So really, thank you.”

“Shiro…” Lance stared for a moment eyes wide in awe then he ducked away a shy smile gracing his face.

It was getting late so they started walking back to their room until they approached Lance room. Lance stopped abruptly holding his nose. “Ugh, it smells like something died recently then someone bleached the scene with some hardcore cleaner.”

A chill went down Shiro’s spine and he shuddered. He couldn't smell what Lance smelled but he knew exactly what he was talking about. He remembered how that thing might end up as a dish they would have to eat. Lance must remain blissfully unaware. It was for his own good. Maybe, just maybe Lance would like it if he didn't know where it came from and appease Coran for awhile.

Shiro internally apologized to Lance, he would make it up to him eventually.

He was drawn out out of his thoughts when Lance spoke up, “Hey, Shiro? Can I bunk with you?”

“Huh? Why?”

“My sense of smell is strong. The smell will bother me for maybe a day while it airs out. And werewolves are pack oriented, I kinda missed sleeping with my pack close by…” Lance quietly trailed off.

He blushed and quickly rambled, “You don't have to agree if you don't want to! N-nevermind! I'll just find another guest room-”

“Lance. It's fine, really. You should have said something earlier, we could do a sleepover with everyone one day. Our little team is family too. I won't force you to open up so readily but just know that you don't have to keep hiding what makes you a werewolf to keep appearances. You can ask for things to make you more comfortable. We'll understand.” Shiro gave him a soft, patient smile which Lance gratefully returned.

“Thanks.”

Trying to keep up the human act for other humans was more of a habit now but it meant a lot that he could be more open to his team- no, his pack. His space pack.

Shiro woke up when he felt the castle rumble. He could tell it that the castle was landing on a planet. He felt a warm presence beside him.

Oh yeah, it was Lance. He was worried that he might have nightmares and wake both of them up but thankfully it seemed that was not the case.

Lance’s chest moving slightly from slow, even breathing. He had a peaceful look on his face as he slept.

Shiro choked needing to do a double take. Lance’s human ears seemed to have become fluffy wolf ears on the top of his head. He also had his wolf tail and yet the rest of him remained human.

Before he even thought about it, he reached it and gently scratched behind one of the wolf ears. He grew a bright grin when Lance made a happy whine. His tail lightly thumped at the bed trying to wag. Such a cute sight.

Shiro drew his hand away as if he was burned. Lance was starting to wake up. He gave him a sleepy smile. “Mornin’.”

“Good uh, morning.”

Lance sat up rubbing his eye. “Shiro, something wrong?”

He hesitantly pointed at the wolf tail. “Erm, is that usual or…” Shiro knew he told Lance he could be more open but it was kinda fast and was this the norm?

Lance’s eyes traced what Shiro was pointing at and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head at the sight. He was fully awake now. He scrambled off the bed and into Shiro’s bathroom to see if there were other changes he didn't know about.

Shiro flinched when he heard Lance yell. This must not be usual then. He got up to check on Lance. “We landed on a new planet. Maybe it's because of its moon?” Shiro offered.

They were walking to the dining area. Shiro managed to convince Lance to keep his hood off when he tried to hide his ears. Now Lance seemed to be concentrating on an unseen force probably the pull of the moon.

As soon as they entered everyone’s eyes were on them. Lance's ears tilted back, his blush returning and his tail drooped. Shiro felt bad, maybe he should have let Lance put his hood up. The blue paladin was rather keen about his appearance.

It was quiet until Pidge blurted out, “I knew something would happen!” Allura nodded along.

“It was you! Et tu, Allura?!” The princess shrugged sheepishly as Lance accused both of them.

Everyone else seemed confused except Coran. “They wanted to see how a planet with multiple moons would affect you. The planet we’re on has two moons.”

“Oh, that would explain it.” At his team's eager looks he continued, “I could feel two pulls. It's kind of like they're playing tug-o-war with me in the middle. One of them is slightly stronger than the other. Ugh, guess this is why I'm stuck in some mid-transformation.”

Lance didn't notice Hunk get closer. He felt lovely scritches behind his ear and let out a sudden, pleased whine. Everyone smiled at the soft sound.

He quickly caught himself and jerked back betrayed. “Hunk!”

“Heh, sorry!” He didn't look sorry, “just checking if you like scratches and pets.”

Even Keith started teasing, “you were like a puppy before.”

Lance put his hand on his chest in mock offense. “Petting always feel nice. A-and I'm not a puppy, I'm a fierce wolf! Besides, would you rather have me aggressive?”

“Enough, Keith don't answer that and Lance you know he hardly meant anything by that.” Shiro cut in, nipping the bud before an argument broke out.

He sighed, he would just play along if Lance wanted to hide how soft he was deep down.

Pidge went up to Lance offering a change of subjects asking if dogs and cats had rivalries. Lance gasped, “that's just a myth! If that was true, me and Blue would never get along. Me and beautiful are best buds for life.” He could feel Blue purring in the back of his mind.

Then he quietly grumbled as if he had experience in the matter, “besides, cats are the ones who hold grudges for seven years.”

Pidge nodded then suddenly yelled struck by inspiration. “The moons’ pull is strong enough right? Can we see you change?”

Allura smiled brightly. “Yes! It would be nice to see an Earth shapeshifter in action.”

Lance clutched at his clothes protectively. “Hey! I only have one set of clothes here and I like them whole thanks. I'm lucky I ripped only my pajamas before. The castle has lots of them.”

Pidge rolled her eyes and pointed out his current form. “So partial transformation is out of the question? How about just your hand?”

Lance blushed. He didn't really think about it. Usually transformations were all or nothing. Wolf or human. One or the other. Welp, he was out in space with different moons. There's a first time for everything he supposed.

He took off his jacket and pulled his sleeve up. Lance concentrated on shifting just his hand. Before their eyes, nails turned to claws, fur covered his hand like a long glove.

“Whoa.” The green paladin breathed.

“Lance?” Shiro grew concerned when Lance scrunched up his face in effort. When he seemed to let go, his hand reverted back.

“It's the pulling in opposite directions. I can't really deviate from this default form without putting all my focus on it.”

Keith spoke up this time, “does it hurt? Altean shapeshifting doesn't seem too.” Allura nodded her head confirming that they felt no pain when they shift.

“It does, yeah.” At the team’s worried expressions he quickly added, “But we get used to it, honest, it really is natural to feel some pain when transforming. It's nothing to worry about.”

They didn't seem quite convinced but thankfully didn't question further.

The mood needed some lifting and Hunk thought of one thing, he took an empty dish and threw it like a frisbee. Thanks to his strong arms it flew far and fast. “Fetch, Lance!”

Lance’s eyes gleamed. It was like he was back home playing with his uncle. He and his siblings would compete to try and catch the frisbee he tossed. It was to strengthen their werewolf muscles. He made a break for it. Unconsciously he started to run on all fours to gain more speed. He jumped and caught it in his mouth.

There was some impressed applause and cheeky laughter. Lance took the dish from his mouth and muttered, “I can't believe I just did that.” But he was internally happy that everyone started to cheer up.

---

Allura suggested that they train to which everyone groaned. They came up with new exercises with Lance's werewolf senses in mind.

As Lance returned to the common area after showering, he found Shiro discussing something with everyone.

“Lance! You're here.” Shiro acknowledged.

He was about to say more till Pidge interrupted. “Hey, Lance? Werewolves have packs right? We're a pack right? Do you scent each other cause even if we can't you can with us.”

Lance turned to Shiro for some explanations. He chuckled sheepishly, “I told everyone how you said werewolves were pack oriented and things escalated to how we can bond better with that side of you. But only if you're comfortable. We’ll stop if you need some time. Right, Pidge?” He tilted his head towards her.

She smiled weakly. Then Lance hugged her. “Aww, Pidge ‘course you're part of my pack. All of you are.” Everyone joined in the hug.

Hunk eyes widened when something hit him. “Wait don't dogs or wolves scent things by-”

Lance slapped his hand over his mouth. “Let me stop you right there. Yes, but that's for territories. But for pack we kinda just rub our scent glands on each other. It's kinda like rubbing our necks against one another since there is one there. To other people it looks like an intimate hug or something.”

Keith, ever the straightforwardly blunt kind of guy said, “You said we're pack though, family right? So you can do that for us too.”

Lance laughed warmly, “Ok, I get it. But are you alright with it? You don't seem like the touchy feely guy and that's alright. I'll respect any personal boundaries you need.”

Keith was open to it, seemed like their little tight knit group was important to him.

Everyone had a turn to get a scenting hug from him. With Keith being the last one. Lance caught a strange scent that startled him. His mind offered a picture of Sendak although it wasn't specifically about him. No, his scent reminded him of Galra!

Keith picked up that something bothered Lance. The werewolf quickly made something up. “It's nothing, just your greasy mullet.”

That managed to ruffle his feathers. His nerves calmed down. Yup, this was still Keith. A member of his pack.

(Part 6)

[agendahammer79-blog]

Saying Young Cooks Need to ‘Pay Dues’ Before Finding Success Is Kind of Bullshit

“Why do you think you can write a memoir at age 29?”

This is the question chef Kwame Onwuachi asks himself, seated across from me at a table as the final lunch guests of the day leave the sunny Kith and Kin dining room.

It’s the same question that Washington, D.C., asked when he set out to open his first restaurant, an ambitious, pricey affair that would tell his life story, weaving Creole and Nigerian culinary influences through a multi-course tasting menu.

“I’ve heard it a lot,” he says. “I just want people to know that everyone has a story.”

Onwuachi spent his formative years in the Bronx, learning from his mother’s cooking at home and at her catering company. After teen years spent dealing drugs, Onwuachi began working in restaurants (and on a ship) and started his own catering business. His passion and obvious talent for cooking led him to the Culinary Institute of America, where he studied while working in a local restaurant and running his catering company to cover tuition costs. He externed at Per Se, and then after graduating worked in the kitchen at Eleven Madison Park.

Both experiences were educational, but as he describes in his memoir, Notes From a Young Black Chef, which hits shelves April 9, Onwuachi was also subjected to racism both personal and systemic. In the book, he calls out specific chefs in the Per Se and Eleven Madison Park kitchens, still something of a rare practice in the chef-memoir genre. “It’s not easy to call out people,” Onwuachi says. “I think it’s important if you want change to occur, if you want people to listen. With this book, I want everyone to listen. This book is for everyone. It’s not just for young black chefs, it’s just not for chefs of color. It’s just not for chefs. It’s for everyone to know that no matter what happens in life, you should just keep going.”

He left EMP to tour with the Dinner Lab, basically doing pop-ups and competing with (and consistently beating) other chefs as part of a fundraising program. Eventually, two D.C. entrepreneurs offered Onwuachi and his culinary schoolmate and fellow EMP (front-of-house) alum Gregory Vakiner a seemingly blank check to build the restaurant of their dreams, which would be the Shaw Bijou. While that restaurant was under construction, Onwuachi competed on Top Chef Season 13, finishing in the final six. His profile on the show added flames to the fire of the hype around the Shaw Bijou, and when the restaurant closed only three months after opening, it came as a shock to everyone — including the chef.

As I wrote at the time of the closure, the meta-narrative around the Shaw Bijou was troubling. A major bone of contention within D.C. was that the Shaw Bijou was too expensive, at $185. In his memoir, Onwuachi reveals the domino effect of mismanagement that led the team to need the cash from early, high-cost ticket sales. And it wasn’t just that the Shaw Bijou would be expensive. It was the audacity, as some saw it, of such a young chef (he was only 26) opening his first restaurant project at such a high price point.

Looking back, it’s impossible not to wonder whether it wasn’t also that some of the D.C. dining public simply wasn’t open to a young black chef charging so much money and asserting his confidence in the fine dining space at all. The glee with which some corners of the internet cheered the closure says a lot more about dining culture in 2017 than just the enduring power of schadenfreude; it also tells us that the restaurant industry and its diners still believe big breaks are “deserved” or “earned,” even as the goal post for what it takes to be “deserving” isn’t fixed in place.

In the first chapter, Onwuachi writes, “More infuriating is the question about to whom I should have been paying dues. It seems like the only ones keeping track are the white guys with tall hats. And how did those guys get into the club? By paying dues to older white guys with even taller hats.”

In fall 2017, he burst back onto the D.C. dining scene with Kith and Kin, which has continued to gain steam, earning positive reviews from former Eater national critic Bill Addison and the Washington Post’s Tom Sietsema. When I sat down with Onwuachi earlier this month, it was only two weeks after he learned of his place on the James Beard Award semifinalist list for rising star chef. He’s back in the spotlight again, and maybe this time, people won’t insist he’s there too soon.

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

Hillary Dixler Canavan: One major theme you really wrestle with in the book is the meaning of paying dues. Specifically, what happens when you’re paying dues to people who don’t look like you, who operate in systems that are meant to keep you out. But also, you understand why one would have wanted to work at Per Se or EMP before doing something on their own.

In the mythology of professional kitchens, there’s the idea that kitchens are for outsiders. It’s this rag-tag crew of people and if you’re a misfit out there, you’re welcome in here. In reality, there are a lot of people for whom professional kitchens are a very unwelcoming place, for many women, LGBT people, people of color. Do you feel there’s a way for this industry to make room for young people that are in that period without defaulting into the dues-paying mentality that seems to be inherently stacked against them?

Kwame Onwuachi: As a young professional of color too, you teeter on: Okay, I go here to this restaurant. I “pay my dues” and then I’ll eventually get to open up my own restaurant. The reality is you go there, nine times out of 10 it’s the unspoken racism. The not moving you up, the let’s try again in a year and see where we’re at.

It’s not necessary. For me, I had my own path and I got exposed to fine dining, one from living in New York City, two going to the CIA and seeing the opportunities that were there for the externship program. For me, it was a different narrative. At Per Se, I didn’t get paid to work there. That’s now a real reality for people in general, but where I come from, where we take care of our families: It’s a very collaborative effort, when we’re at home, I pay some of the electric bill and everyone pitches in to make ends meet. That’s not a reality for everyone.

It shows the systematic oppression. I don’t think it’s necessarily intentional, but I remember there was another kid that was an extern there and he lived downtown near Per Se. Yes, he didn’t get paid either but his rent was paid for, his parents sent him money every weekend, and he was able to get there [easily]. I had to travel all the way from the Bronx and spend two hours in transit to get to Per Se. It’s not an equal, level playing field. When I get there, I’m exhausted before I even step through the door. I remember one chef telling me I was the laziest person he had ever met in his entire life after I had to work at 6 a.m. as a backup chef for Chopped [a paid job], just so I could afford to pay rent to come here. I was noticeably tired. No one asked, “Hey, are you okay?” It was like, “What are you doing? You’re so lazy. You know that? You’re the laziest person I’ve ever met in my entire life.” Meanwhile, I’m there working for free, busting my ass.

I think what it’s gonna take to change that scope is a little more diversity within the critics, more diversity with editorial staff. It’s gonna take more diversity with people of color within the staff of these large houses in order to really seek out these places from these people of color that may not have had the opportunities to work at places like Per Se or Madison Park, or go to the CIA, or even have the opportunity to have a restaurant like this. This is amazing. I’ve worked really hard for it. I’m very proud of it. There’s a lot of people doing pop-ups, or they have a small restaurant that’s open for dinner, or it’s been passed on throughout their family. They got a chance to send their kid to culinary school, but they still have to go back home and help run that restaurant. That is what it’s going to take in order to change things around a little bit.

HDC: And of course this isn’t unique to the restaurant world. In many professions, young people hear “it’s not your time yet, pay your dues, head down.” And then there can be a real backlash against people who put themselves out there when they feel ready to instead of when they are told they’re ready.

KO: Yes, when they’re told they’re ready.

HDC: I also wonder about if some of the conditions on the ground change, would that aspect of it change? If paying dues doesn’t mean the same thing for every person. If the person next to you at Per Se was paying his dues but living rent free, it’s different.

KO: It’s a lot different.

There are a lot of people that have worked their whole lives and then they get a chance to work in a restaurant, maybe like mine, and they can get a little bit of experience. They may feel that they are ready. Who am I to say that they’re not ready to go on and do their own thing?

Who are they paying their dues to? If anything, you’re paying your dues to yourself. When you feel like you’re ready, you should be able to go out and do whatever you put your mind to. This is a very short life we live. I would hate for someone not to strive for something and always have that what if I would’ve just done this.

HDC: In the book, it seems like you’re arguing that the whole concept of dues-paying in your own story was a way to validate certain types of experiences and not others. That there is a whole range of experiences that might be relevant.

KO: It depends on what you want to do.

HDC: Related to that, one thing that surprised me is that you really named the names. You didn’t shy away from saying this is who I worked for, here’s how they behaved. Did you have any hesitation about being so honest?

KO: There’s always some apprehension when you’re, for lack of better words, being an open book. Are people going to shun me or judge me for this? Or will they be upset at me because I named names, or how dare I speak about these things that should be left in the kitchen? I think that that’s bullshit and there is no bravery in that, on my end. How am I going to prevent that from happening to the next person if I don’t openly talk about it? Give real examples about it. That’s when things stop.

When people realize, Oh man, I’ve done that. I shouldn’t do that anymore. I didn’t know that these small little racist jokes affect people. When you’re a chef, most people are just like, “Yes chef” to you. I deal with that in my own kitchen. I’m like “Hey, how’s it going?” They’re like, “Good, chef.” I tell my sous chef, “Go see how it’s actually going over there. They are just telling me it’s all good.”

We need to know that our words matter. Especially if it’s some sort of harassment. We don’t talk about racism in the terms of harassment a lot. We talk about it as yes, if something major happens like if someone was racially profiled or it is a hate crime, or something like that.

The small, subtle jokes go unheard. Those are the ones that hurt the most because they are usually in front of a large group of people. If you understand it for what it is, then it’s like you’re not cool. “We’re just joking around.” But I didn’t start joking like this. Why do you feel that you could do this?

You just have to push through that small little area of uncomfortability. Whether it’s speaking up, speaking out, or just believing in yourself.

HDC: Right now, naming names has been such a powerful part of the #MeToo movement, too.

KO: It’s important to name your abusers. I don’t have to be excited about it. I’m just telling the story. I think that’s the same thing with the #MeToo movement. They are saying what happened and that it’s not okay. It takes a lot of bravery and I’m so proud of the women that have come forward and said that, because it has sparked change. I’ve noticed it in the industry.

A lot of friends that have restaurants now have sensitivity classes around sexual harassment. We have it here about racial equality as well. I think that that’s something that needs to be talked about more and more, to have people feel included, feel welcome.

HDC: Another theme of the book is that you are still young; it’s very much about a young person finding their voice and their career path. With the opening of the Shaw Bijou and Kith and Kin under your belt, with a book now under your belt, what’s your sense for young chefs who do feel ready to express their voice? Do you feel like you have any takeaways? Is your thinking about doing that different now than it was before?

KO: Not really. I think people learn in different ways. For me, I learn a lot by doing. I couldn’t have opened a restaurant that’s successful without having another restaurant that either went well or didn’t go well. I can only learn as much as I can with being hands on. I think it depends on the chef. I have a lot of chefs that look like me in my kitchen, which is amazing. They are like, how did you do it? I’m like: “I started to do pop-ups and then I traveled around the world. Then I got an opportunity to open up a restaurant and I was scared as hell, but I did it. I failed. I tried again, and that was it.” When they are like, “What should I do?” I’m like, I don’t really have the answers for you, what you should do specifically. I know as a cook I can give you what you need to work on as a cook: Hone your craft, more importantly. Keep your station clean. The normal things of being a good chef, that’s the foundation. To garner exposure, there is a multitude of things you can do. You can start writing. You can start doing YouTube videos. You can start doing pop-ups. You have to do what makes sense for you. Maybe you want to open up a food truck after this. You can go right into that after working in this kitchen. If you want to open up a restaurant this big, maybe start with a smaller one. It depends on the person, really.

If you’re ready to do anything, I would just try it. I’ve never written a book before and I did this. When are you gonna be ready for something unless you just do it?

Hillary Dixler Canavan is Eater’s restaurant editor.

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Source: https://www.eater.com/2019/3/21/18266033/kwame-onwuachi-memoir-notes-from-a-young-black-chef-interview-paying-dues

[danieshub-criticalcaptures]

Danie’s Rules And Blog(s’) Info

I’m pretty agreeable and chill. You probably don’t even have to read this if you’ve got basic knowledge on how to roleplay and can maintain the fiction-reality, ic-ooc walls. I don’t have any special rules or passwords.

If you have any concerns, always always let me know! Disgruntled as I may describe myself, I’m big on communication and openness and honesty. Communication is key! The sword is also a key! And memory! Shame mine is so bad.

The TL;DR of my rules is

‘IC is not OOC, Fiction is not subject to the same restrictions as Reality, characters do not represent the beliefs and feelings of the mun unless stated to be doing so and may act in unacceptable ways

Please communicate with me if there are any problems or comments.

Please control your own content experience as opposed to my content output.

I play my characters how I like, you do the same, no playing each others’ characters.

Blocking, softblocking, and unfollowing is welcome and encouraged if you have want or need of it(but i would appreciate being told why/in advance since it’ll keep me aware. I may try and explain myself, but I don’t mean to try and get you to change your mind unless you seem up to doing so.)

Y’know, regular RP rules. There’s a slightly expanded version of this after this first section.

RP Conduct Information That Applies To All Blogs:

Semi-Selective: I’m not picky but I reserve the right to not play with someone, not play something, associate not with a person or persons, etc.

Non-Mutuals, New RPers Welcome: Sometimes I don’t follow just for the sake of keeping my dash in order or because I don’t wanna follow before I read pages and I’m on mobile. You're welcome to approach for play and plotting at any time! Also if your blogs are on sideblogs, you may need to IM the URLs to me so I can follow! Especially since I'm often on mobile.

OC, Gijinka, Pokémon, [Some] Crossover Friendly: I'm so down to try playing with just about anybody. OCs with default relationships with canon characters(mostly fankids and sexual or romantic partners where it wouldn't make sense to me) I admit I may be a little selective of. Crossovers are welcome, but my knowledge of other series is fairly limited, so it'd likely have to be either Pokémon verse or one of the handful I'm familiar with.

Anons, Non-RPers, and Scenarios Welcome: I love answering questions, even if my muses don’t always. Scenarios/NPC RPs/environment RPs setting stages are always welcome. Magic Anons are allowed but I’ll be selective with them.

Low-Medium Activity, Slow Responses, Dropped Threads: Permanent semi-hiatus, I suppose? There are a lot of factors here, but please bear with me, I’m not the fastest or most focused entity. I never want to drop a tag unless I feel like I can't respond to it somehow, but sometimes things get dropped. Sometimes I or my muse or my focus are more interested in one thread or one character than another, which means you may also be waiting while I’m playing with somebody else because that’s not something I can help. Thank you for being patient!

Multiverse, Multiship, Multiples Welcome: All verses and ships will exist separate from one another unless otherwise agreed on by all parties(and I’m down with that and any possible IC complications that may arise as long as communication/agreement occurs.) Same goes for multiples of muses. I love multiples! Everyone has so many various interpretations, and seeing them is the best. Age-altered characters, gijinka, Pokémon, etc are all allowed in shipping regardless of my muse, but for the most part my muses decide who they like, not me. Your muse may have unplotted feelings for mine--this will not be interpreted as forcing a ship on me! I will probably never be single ship ever. I just can’t limit myself like that. Obvs that doesn’t mean ‘I ship my G and this mun’s H so any interactions between my G and other H’s will be shippy,’ just that I could never commit to a 'I’m the only X you play/ship with’ kind of deal. It’s never in all the years I've been roleplaying been a good sign of anything when somebody is possessive of a partner. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a singleship RP partnership that wasn’t a disaster or abusive relationship(platonic or otherwise) behind the scenes. If you’re an extremely jealous/possessive rp partner and will have a lot of problems with me playing with others we may not be able to play together at all. If you're in such a posessive and restrictive relationship, consider talking it out with your partner. If they won't budge, remember that you have to live for you. Nobody will live your life for you and make the decisins you want, so you need to control your life. No matter what they threaten(which makes them manipulative anyway) you are allowed to leave that partnership. You are not causing trouble by warning others about them. Ultimately let others make their own decisions, never say 'don't play with that person!,' but if you have warnings for others, that's not a bad or inheritely wanky thing. Okay? Okay. ♥ Be safe out there. Communicate! Bottling things up never helps anybody.

Scenario-Sharing Is Okay: See me doing a plot/thread with somebody and also like the idea? If it isn’t something verse specific, I’ll probably be down to try it out with somebody else! Variety is rad!!!

Alternate Universes, Universe Variations, Different Time Periods Are Okay: This includes age-ups! It helps to let me know if we may have different understandings of the world and if it’d come up--for example, I mix canon sources and use "realistic” interpretations that may result in more severity or mature aspects where they might otherwise not be. If you’re more interested in a non-serious setting or have some other variation on the verse, let me know so I can see if I can adapt to it when needed.

No Default Ships, Most All Relationships Open To Pre-Establishment/Alteration/Interpretation: Obviously there are bases, but I have multiple interpretations of my own interpretations. If X is married to Y in one verse, or A is related to B in some verses, that doesn’t make it default unless it’s canon. Loch will always have or have had a period of ‘Master Guzma’ing, Matori will always work for or have had worked for Giovanni/Team Rocket, Ghetsis will. . .probablyalways have had abused his kids, but the degrees or other details can vary. Don’t be afraid to suggest things or ask about preetstablishing something!

LGBTQIA+, Poly, kin, etc Friendly: Honestly, I don’t have to say that, hence why it’s at the end. You be you, just don’t hurt or invalidate anybody or anything like that, y’know?  Of course, in character phobic/anti behavior is allowed with no assumptions on the part of the mun. Shitty as it is IRL, not everybody is good, not everybody is accepting, not everything is happy or neutral or peaceful, so no need to have characters or fictional worlds be that way.

Regular rules are as follows:

No Godmodding. - I play my characters, you play yours, and we write together.

Fiction is not Reality. IC is not OOC. - I do not approve of or stand by all of the actions, words, beliefs, etc of my muses. Fiction is an explorative platform, an outlet of all sorts, and so much more. As a result, there may be expressions of all sorts from all perspectives, most likely IC. I’ll do my best to tag anything on request.

“Mature”, “Dark”, “Triggering”, “Violent”, “NSFW”, “NSFL”, “YMMV”, “YKINMKATO”, Etc Interactions Are Allowed - I don’t really have any triggers I’d bother to note, so just talk at me about it first--some things can just happen naturally ICly and we can try and wing it. But brainstorming’s always good.

Sexual Interactions are For 18+ Muns Only - don’t feel pressured to do them, regardless of who or what you or your muse are if they're not something you wanna do! Smut isn't necessary in RPing and shouldn't be required by any partner(unless that's all you've agreed on/intended to RP,) and there are many, many people who will play with you if you don't write smut. Please don't think it's any different, no matter your age. US law would consider writing smut with a minor as exposing a child to pornography or something--and I'm not gonna get arrested for that if I can help it.

You Are Responsible For Your Own Content Experience - you don’t have to follow me if you don’t want to or find something I post or do regularly uncomfortable. You don’t have to follow me to interact with me. I try and tag everything, but I’m only human (a very desensitized and. . .humor-coping? Lax? human.)

Please Don’t Tell Me What To Do With My Blog Unprompted - of course, if there’s buggy coding; bad links; typos; you need something tagged; or you have a question, lemme know! And if I ask for input/opinions/perspectives, I’d appreciate receiving it! I also always accept concrit! But something like ‘you do this and you should stop’ will not be tolerated. My blog is my blog. I’ll tag things, but I won’t tailor my blog to somebody else’s needs/wants unnecessarily.

Softblock If Unfollowing - this reduces the chance i’ll interact with you if you’re not interested. Maintains the boundaries. Mostly for your sake and to keep me from getting confused lmao

Consider Talking To Me Before Blocking - not necessarily for me to try and convince you out of it or to explain myself(although there’s a 99% chance I’ll do the latter,) but because feedback helps.

[angels-archival-office]

✧ — hermitcraft!gem moodboard ; with themes of deer, antlers, plants, the earth, and magic

[for: anon]

[angels-archival-office]

✧ — life series!etho names and pronouns ; with themes of nature, winter, and red

[for: anon]

! names

✧ alaska

✧ ash

✧ basil

✧ caspian

✧ cedar

✧ elm

✧ evergreen

✧ finn

✧ fox

✧ lumi

✧ north

✧ olive / oliver

✧ orion

✧ river

✧ soliel

✧ winter / wynter

✧ wren

! pronouns

✧ he/him/himself

✧ vie/vim/vimself

✧ they/them/themself

✧ ey/em/emself

✧ fae/faer/faerself

✧ spruce/spruces/spruceself

✧ tree/trees/treeself

✧ plant/plants/plantself

✧ snow/snows/snowself

✧ cold/colds/coldself

✧ arctic/arctics/arcticself

✧ frozen/frozens/frozenself

✧ freeze/freezes/freezeself

✧ red/reds/redself

✧ crimson/crimsons/crimsonself

✧ scarlet/scarlets/scarletself

✧ ♥️/♥️self

✧ ☁️/☁️self

✧ 🪵/🪵self

✧ 🌿/🌿self

✧ ☁️/☁️self

✧ ❄️/❄️self

[angels-archival-office]

✧ — niki moodboard ; with themes of found family and frozen ponds

[for: anon]

[angels-archival-office]

◞ ◟) … squiddo stimboard ; with themes of books and orange!

★ > for: anon!

★ > ODDLY proud of this one . shout out to squiddo for real

[ x . x . x / x . X . x / x . x . x ]

[angels-archival-office]

✧ — secret life pearl & gem icons ; credit us and the artist when using! 01. 02. 03.

[for: anon]

[angels-archival-office]

◞ ◟) … ldshadowlady stimboard ; with hot pink, cats, and webcore stims!

★ > for: @amythefangirlsfangirl

[ x . x . x / x . X . x / x . x . x ]

[angels-archival-office]

✧ — qsmp!quackity layout ; credit us and the artist when using! 01.

[for: anon]

[angels-archival-office]

◞ ◟) … jimmy solidarity stimboard ; with themes of gold, feathers, and anything shiny!

★ > for: anon!

[ x . x . x / x . X . x / x . x . x ]

[angels-archival-office]

✧ — hotguy stimboard ; with anything blue and orange !

[for: anon]

🔵🔵🔵 / 🔵🏹🟠 / 🟠🟠🟠

[angels-archival-office]

✧ — matching boat boys layouts ; credit us and the artist when using! 01.