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tragedycoded · 3 months ago
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character profile tag!
@the-golden-comet how did you know I needed to repopulate my characters tags <3 Thank you for the tag!
I know everyone here knows him, but let's do this for the protagonist of Doom Metal Love Story anyway.
Name: Cole Francis Sullivan
Nickname: First Sergeant (his rank), variations on his rank ("Top" is pretty funny); Kentucky (Hofer); angel/dear-heart/whatever the current hyperfixation is (Royston)
Kind of Being: Human
Age: variable (born 1835; story takes place 1872-74)
Sex: Male
Appearance: Average height and sturdily built, wearing the field uniform and calf-length boots he only took off to change into his parade dress every evening, Hofer knew who he was looking at before he saw the man's face. (Prologue, Hofer POV)
Until Sullivan sat up, unfurling as he prepared to ride into battle again. Glowing with life, invigorated, half-mad with knowing what he wanted, finally. Ambitious in the way of warrior-kings of old, invulnerable and ageless, lamplight catching the gold and the silver in his brown hair, his red beard aflame. That bayonet scar on his shoulder marking him as human. That bullet scar on the back of his calf. Royston could adore the man and not put him up among idols. Why make him an angel, or a god, or a star. There were so many already, hundreds and thousands and countless of all. There was only one him. (February 1873, Royston POV)
Occupation: First Sergeant in the United States Army Cavalry Division; fort sheriff of Fort Sarras, Kansas
Family members: William (father, deceased); Aileen O'Hare (mother.) Only child.
Pets: Molly, a 12-year-old Morgan horse
Best friend: Major Erik Hofer, Surgeon of Fort Sarras, Kansas; Royston will annoy the shit out of me if I don't acknowledge that he is Sullivan's lover.
Describe his/her room: In the Golden Ending, he sleeps in a barrack with the rest of the NCOs. Based on photographs I've found, it would appear he does not have a roommate. He has a bed, a bureau, a nightstand to put a lamp on, and a peg over his bed for his weapons (rifle, revolver, saber.) This is a fucking hotel compared to the Bad Ending, where he's in a barrack with three other people (Quartermaster Sergeant Harrelson, Hofer, and possibly Sergeant Miller? or else it was the sergeant who dies in the bombardment the weekend before Royston Kool-Aid Mans into Fort Cano.)
Way of speaking: No indoor voice. Direct -> firm -> blunt if you're really not listening to him. Polite, until you give him a reason not to be. Hiding an accent.
Physical characteristics (posture, gestures, attitude): Always at attention. Observant. Ready to react. Always carrying at least two weapons; is a weapon.
Royston wants everyone to know he "fills out that damned uniform."
Items in his/her back pocket/ purse:
HERE I'LL SHOW YOU
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(This guy's a private, don't even worry about it. He'd be carrying the same equipment and hey he has the same facial hair right on.)
Hobbies: Reading, playing chess, throwing darts.
Favorite sports: Bat-and-ball.
Abilities/Talents/Powers: Marksmanship mastery, horseback riding expertise, melee combat (saber specialization), leadership. Is the 10th Cavalry Regiment's filthy joke repository (he has a strong memory when it comes to dick jokes.)
He acquires additional, uh, "abilities" in Book 2 but that's a massive spoiler.
Relationships (how he/she is with other people): Preoccupied. Easy to lose touch with. Will go HAM on anything/anyone threatening someone he loves.
Fears: He just told me he doesn't much care for broccoli. When I asked him why he said the fact that it's shaped like a tree is disconcerting.
I understand.
Faults: He's stubborn. His refusal to follow orders that are counter to his own code of honor has cost him promotions. "HE ONLY EATS LIKE FIVE FOODS," Royston says.
Good points:
He may flinch, but he is brave.
He's a leader.
He's loyal (possibly to fault.)
He's physically and mentally strong.
"HIS ASS," Royston says. (Translation: He has a healthy sense of humor.)
What he/she wants more than anything else: To go to sleep at night knowing he did the best he could to protect his country and the people he loves; and, if is his time to die, for his death to not be in furtherance of an unjust cause.
Wait--
"Since he's wandered off and appears to no longer be listening... I want Arthur safe, and alive, and with me. Which I recognize is both a far more difficult condition to satisfy and antithetical to the previous answer."
HAPPY FRIDAY TAG LIST LET'S GO BAP BAP BAP
@lychhiker-writes @cowboybrunch @saturnine-saturneight @ashfordlabs @autism-purgatory
@noblebs @aintgonnatakethis @the-golden-comet @asablehart @mauvecatfic
@leahnardo-da-veggie @sableglass @gioiaalbanoart @words-after-midnight
@lavender-bloom @jev-urisk @wyked-ao3
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mythicmanuscripts · 3 months ago
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Hi! It's me again! 🤗
I was reading about the awful things that happened to Aegon in the brothel. Him so desperately trying to be taken care of and only finding more abuse broke my heart 🥺 and also got me thinking... What if he doesn't have a good, loving wife to make it all better? 😭 What if instead, one of the workers (Reader) finally takes pity on him and treats him the way he needs so much? Taking him away from the awful workers and under her wing? I imagine he would become instantly addicted. Never letting other worker touch him again. Only accepting her services. I bet he would get possessive as well. Paying an enormous amount of gold to be the only one that can touch her.
Do you think he would dare bring her to live in the castle? Or even more scandalous, actually MARRY her? Or he would be too scared of his pious mother's reaction (as well as the rest of the kingdoms') to a whore becoming queen? There is also the possibility of him just gifting her a big house with servants, close to the castle, so he can visit whenever he wants needs... Sooooo many possibilities! 😳
What do you think?
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Oh my god. Are you sure you don't want to take over this blog because this is INCREDIBLE??? I am obsessed. I actually think I'm gonna tag this with 'subby Aegon!au' so that we can discuss this more and you guys can easily use the tag to find everything about this because I fear this may be my new obsession.
Anyway, NSFW sub!aegon that starts very angsty but has a happy ending under the cut!!
So for anyone who missed the post that inspired this, we were discussing how Aegon would know he was a submissive and go to a brothel to submit to the workers there. He desperately wants to just be loved and cared for and feel like a good boy but none of the workers will do that and he doesn't quite have the language to explain what he wants/needs. So instead he just ends up going through all this abuse and humiliation and degradation just to hear them say he did well at the end. He always goes into subdrop afterwards and he feels so terrible but he also can't stop going because it's the only time that he actually feels like he's good enough.
For this AU, I think it makes the most sense that you first encounter Aegon after he's had a scene with someone else? Cause Aegon always pays very VERY well and so the brothel workers who have dominated him always ensure that no one else can lay with him because they want all that money? Like maybe the madam of the brothel you work at has a very strict rule that no one other than her is allowed to lay with the king. Of course there's plenty of rumours going around the brothel about what he likes he and pretty much everyone knows that the madam dominates him.
You first encounter Aegon after he finished a particularly brutal scene with the madame. Half an hour later when the madam wants to use that room again he's still laying there? He hasn't even gotten dressed, is just laying there with a thin blanket wrapped around himself.
The madam does not want to deal with him because she knows from experience that he gets all clingy and weepy after a scene and so she sends you in to kick him out. Well, she tells you to kick him out.
But then you walk in and he just... he looks so small? You slowly walk over and gently place your hand on his shoulder. He jumps up and scrambles off the bed, mumbling apologies because he knows the madam told him to leave and he still hadnt.
You quickly tell him it's alright, that he's done nothing wrong and the look he gives you is just so heartbreaking? He's all wide eyed and shocked and there's a very very small smile on his face when he whispers, "Really? I... you're sure? I'm good?"
Which, yeah there's no way you're kicking him out now. You help him get back into his clothes and then take him to your private room. The rule is supposed to be no clients in the personal quarters, but this is quite literally the king so you don't see anyone complaining.
You keep an arm wrapped around his waist, guiding him like that and he just leans against you? You can't believe that the madam doesn't stay with him after she dominates him, especially because he's just so sweet? He's leaning against you, mumbling thanks and letting you lead him without complaint. He's so sweet and vulnerable and you can't believe the madam would leave him and not care for him.
He's so shocked when he finds himself in your private quarters, and he's even more surprised when you wet a rag and gently clean the tears off his face. He leans into every one of your touches, trying to soak up as much attention as he can.
You ask him if you can undress him again so you can clean him properly, and he just starts sobbing and throws himself in your arms because he can't believe how lucky he is. You just hold him and tell him that he's doing so good, that you just want to get him cleaned up a little more and then he can take a nice nap with you.
He closes his eyes and cries silently as you clean him. There are welts on his back from the madam's whip so you have to ensure you clean them properly or risk infection. You expect to have to clean dried cum from between his thighs but to your surprise there's nothing?
When you ask, he just wines and mumbles, "Wasnt good, couldnt cum" which just breaks your heart because you refuse to entertain any possibility that this sweet little thing wasnt absolutely perfect.
You finish cleaning him and you're about to help him get his clothes back on when he just kinda collapses onto the bed. You don't even bother with that then and instead you just get into bed with him.
"Come here," you tell him, opening your arms and he immediately dives right in. You hold him tight and when you press a kiss to the e top of his head he just melts into you.
When he wakes, he's hard. He tries to apologise for it but you won't hear it, and you ask if you can help him. He tries to shake his head and say that he can't go through that again, but then you interrupt him and promise him that you only mean helping him cum and do nothing else.
He's so sweet when you stroke him, mumbling how good it feels and begging to cum and after he does, he even takes your hand and licks it clean? He's just the bed boy and he's clearly trying so so hard to please you, so you make sure to praise him constantly because the poor thing deserves it.
The next time he comes to the brothel, he tells the madam to get lost and asks for you. He won't even consider another, not after you cared for him and praised him and made him feel safe. Of course the madam is not happy about this, but she cant stop him and so he goes to the room and waits for you.
When you walk in and ask why he's asked for you, he just says that he really liked you from before. And then he actually looks nervous? Like you might tell him that he has to go back to the madam.
You tell him that as much as you'd love to, you can't do what the madam does to him. You explain that you can't degrade him or slap him or anything like that. But then he just smiles even wider and tells you he doesn't want that, he just wants what you did last time.
He seems all blushy and nervous and there's a very obvious tent in his breeches. You smirk then and say, "Aw, do you want me to take care of you? Yeah? Let me do all the thinking and you can just be my pretty good boy?"
Instantly he's slipping from the bed and down onto his knees, kneeling and nodding comically quick because yes. That's everything he's ever wanted and more.
And he's just so good for you? He listens to every single order, and he begs so prettily and his sounds are just insane. When it's over, you pull him into your chest and kiss his head and tell him he did so so well for you. He's just on cloud nine, because this is absolutely everything he's ever wanted and more.
When he leaves, he pays you double what he pays the Madam and when you tell him that's too much, he says that there's no amount of gold in the world that could be enough to thank you for how you looked after him. He asks if he can come back, if you'll let him do that again and of course you agree to let him.
The madam isnt happy with you of course, but she can't exactly force the king to lay with her instead. For about three weeks things continue like that, with Aegon visiting every few days and paying you very very handsomely. He always stays for a few hours after this, just getting cuddles and kisses.
After a while, the madam comes to you and is unhappy that Aegon will not be with anyone else. Aegon pays very handsomely and he also lets them basically beat him up, so of course the madam is unhappy that she no longer get aegon's time. Aegon, meanwhile, will not even look at another.
The next time Aegon comes to the brothel, you're with another client? As much as you wish that you could just see Aegon, if you did that then the madam would kick you out. The madam is overjoyed when Aegon walks in and you're with another client, because it means she can swoop in and tell Aegon you're busy but that she'd be more than happy to do it instead.
And Aegon just... he knew that obviously you had other clients, but knowing and actually being there while you were with someone else are two different things. His smile falls instantly, and he says that he doesn't want anyone else. The madam tries again, maybe even touching him and telling him to think about all the good times they had, which prompts him to stumble backwards and very firmly say that he won't be seeking the services of anyone else.
He ends up leaving the brothel and then comes back the following night and is so so relieved to find that you are free. He's much more whiney and clingy than you're used to, to the point where he cries if you even let go of his hand. You end up having to pull away o ask what's going on, because he seems very distressed. You hadnt seen him like that since you took care of him that first night.
He gets quiet and then eventually asks how many other men you see every day. You sigh, because you knew this question was coming and you're not sure what to say to him. You end up just saying that this is your job, and that the madam is already upset with you for being the only one he goes to so you can't risk only seeing him because then you'd almost certainly be kicked out of the brothel entirely and have no wear to live.
Before you had even finished speaking Aegon had already made up his mind to give you enough gold that you never have to be with anyone else. You try to tell him that's not necessary, but for him it absolutely is. He will not allow the only person who makes him feel good in the entire seven kingdoms to struggle to earn a living when he is quite literally the king.
At first you turn him down, stating that you have to earn your own way and that you can't rely on him.
And then he goes quiet for a moment before he just softly says, "But, I rely on you? We can rely on each other?" Which is just the sweetest thing you've ever heard. You kiss his head and let him curl against your chest, giving him a little squeeze before telling him that you won't let him pay everything, but you will ket him pay enough to the madam that she will allow you to only take clients of your choice and also to set aside 4 nights every week that are just for him. It's not everything he wanted, but it's pretty damn close. And Aegon is so obsessed with you that he will absolutely take 4 days a week of your undivided attention.
It carries on like that for a while, with you and him being together 4 nights a week and he's just... he's so sweet and he's so perfect and he loves being with you so much. Maybe sometimes he doesn't even want anything sexual? Which yeah is wild cause Aegon is pretty much always horny, but when he's getting so thoroughly fucked every second day, sometimes he just wants to be with you.
Even when he doesn't want something sexual, that is not at all to say he doesn't still want to come be with you. Aegon would sleep in the same bed as you every single night if he could. He also just loves being able to talk to you about his day? You always listen to him and offer him advice. He's never really even able to feel like he can decompress at the end of the day, but now he's always able to with you. He knows that the moment he walks through the doors, you will know how to help him.
I think that eventually you'd accept his offer of him being your only client, and the day you tell him that he is smiling and giggling for the entire day. He definitely buys you a little cottage close to the keep, and as much as you try to say he doesn't need to, he won't hear it.
In fact he actually loves providing for you like that? You do so so much for him and he knows he'd never be able to function without you and so to know that he can do something to help you is just amazing and it makes him so so so happy.
I absolutely adore this concept!! This ask is already insanely long so I'm not gonna go any further here but if anyone else has thoughts about this let me know!!! I'd love to discuss it more :))
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ladybyakuya · 2 months ago
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| SIDE EFFECTS + SAKUSA KIYOOMI.
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+cw. — fem!reader, established relationship, ( domestic ) fluff, love & comfort, slight angst, mature language, atsumu being atsumu, mention of hinata and bokuto. beta-read by my beloved ray.
+wc. — 1.2k 
+syn.—  Sakusa has gotten used to you pretty quick ever since he started living with you but now that he has known the bliss, he does not want to go back to living alone.
+notes. — this is for flufftober ‘fond moments’ collab event for a prompt: quality time hosted by @spookuna. mdni cuz im eighteen plus blog.| redirect to blog navigation. & tagging @tetzoro for poking my pineal glad with a question that became a inspo for this <3
For almost a month, Kiyoomi has had an odd extension of routine that starts after his matches. It starts with going straight home ( to you ), and eating the dishes you made for him which was suggested by a dietitian of course! and then wait at least one hour before hitting the shower, and that too, a cold one since right after he is done drying himself he jumps into bed just to hold you amongst his chest like a hot bag; this . . .this particular moment is what he has been looking forward to for months and now it has finally become a part of his life, and if things do not go south then it might just last for the rest of his life. Just barely thinking of it gets him wide awake. If life was a sleepless dream, then he would not mind sleeping forever at the end of it with you.
Today, however, everything turned upside down. He came home a little late, just a little; ate silently without talking much. Generally, he turns into a yapper right when he sees you. He has so much to talk about yet even with all that bubbling enthusiasm he still does not forget to ask, “Babe, how was your day?”, “Aw, babe that’s amazing. I’m so proud of you.”, “What? Need me to scare the manager? Because I can.” he says while flexing his muscles wearing nothing but a towel around his torso but you know he won’t do that since he has the confidence that you can handle anything all by yourself. After all, you scared the shit out of Miya when you first met him and he will not accept but, indeed, Miya is not easily scared, especially by girls. However, this evening his responses were full of— “umm.” and “umhm” — nods and sneaking glances. The Kiyoomi that is reserved for the world has come home to you today. 
And that one-hour gap, between his dinner and shower, which is generally filled with listening to you as you roam around the house and work and he follows you like a puppy is filled with frequent calls, messages, and screen time today. It sure makes you worry if not disappointed or angry. It has been a month since you two started living together, so this one hour has always been filled with making this small apartment a place that you both could call “home.” Things were slowly falling into place, turning this place into a home. You were happy, and Kiyoomi? He was the happiest man in the world. 
However, crest-fallen.
Sakusa came out of the bathroom freshly showered when you were folding his clothes. Now that he can see your back properly without any thoughts lingering in his mind you look tired, sad, and perhaps. . . a little annoyed. Maybe it is not a good time to tell you the news after all but what else he can do, he does not have much time left either. He tip-toes his way towards you, slowly.
“C’mon out with it, omi. What’s up?” You say and turn towards him with a bunch of his clothes in your hand only to face a half-naked Sakusa, a pink towel wrapped around his torso, his hands in the air branching out in a form of embrace. You chuckle as you walk off to his closet but his stance remains intact just his head following you; 
his jaw drops as he enquires with utmost curiosity, “How do you always know?” which earns him just an endearing glance from you. You keep the stack of his clothes on the shelf, one by one as he finally says what has been bothering him. “I have to move out. . .to Osaka.” You had to pause before keeping the last t-shirt on the stack of clothes. Your hand is still on the edge of the closet wooden frame since you know the moment you close it— is the moment you have to face such a warped reality where you would be alone in this newly bought apartment, with no omi to wait for, cook for, or take care of. . . 
As if he could read your thoughts he mumbles sharply. “Babe, turn around.” He must be still in that pink towel. The air conditioner is on but it seems that he does not mind the cold today. You slowly turn around closing the cupboard with your hands at the back biting your lower lip in anticipation thinking if Kiyoomi had to tell you about moving out to you, then he must have tried all the possibilities of either staying here with you or taking you with him yet none of them must have worked because if it had, you two would not be standing so apart like two curtains drawn apart. 
“Oh dear God,” Kiyoomi groans as he clutches your wrist pulling you into himself. He makes you sit on the edge of the bed while he sits on the floor, legs folded keeping his head on your lap as he draws lazy patterns on the side of your thighs with both hands, simultaneously. “I never thought I’d fall in love even though I’ve planned it in my notebook ever since I was a kid.” He turns his head up, “Now that my love is here I want to keep it, safe, forever.” The water from his hair has left spots on your long tee. You run your nails through his scalp and he lets out a low even groan saying, “So, I took a week off to spend time with you and of course to get the packing done.” He has to rake his eyes open since the exhaustion blended with being sleepy along with your tender touch is too tempting not to give in.
“What?” You ask, surprised. “You did it for me?”
“Yeah. ‘course. Why wouldn’t I?”
A black pup tip-toes its way into the room and both of you watch it walk till it halts right at your feet wagging its tail, tongue hanging out of its mouth. Both of you look at each other, and then a familiar voice turns up, “We’re here love birds.” Sakusa rolls his eyes before turning around and grabbing your bathrobe to wrap himself up probably because now his senses are back enough to let him know how chill the temperature of the room is. You put your palms over your cheeks, it has become warm again, as you look at the pup. 
Just when you crouched down to pat the pup, Atsumu, Hinata, and Bokuto followed into your shared bedroom. 
“So, what’re you gonna name him?” Miya asks with a big grin plastering on his face.
“Kiyo!”
“Heyyyyy.” Naturally, Sakusa protests. Bokuto and Hinata share a look holding back their laughter. 
“Well, I call you Omi when I need something from you, or when I’m angry with you and I call you Mr. sakusa when we—you struggle to put your thoughts out in words so Atsumu interjects. 
“ —fuck.” He is still grinning. What’s he so happy about?
“Yeah. that.” you point at him while keeping your eyes still on Kiyoomi. “So, I don’t see a problem calling him Kiyo.”
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eyelessfaces · 17 days ago
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say yes?
santiago garcia x reader
summary: the first time he asks, you say no. the next few times become a game to him.
warnings: refused proposal, angst (with a good ending), mentions of the operation from the movie, tom is mentioned like once or twice (yes this counts as a warning), brief mentions of ptsd and unhealthy ways to cope with it (drinking), a tiny smut scene
tags: gn!reader, fluff, santi being silly, the first few scenes are really angsty but I promise it mainly gets silly and cute after that!!
please mind that for artistic reasons (lmao), the first few scenes are not following a linear chronology (I wanted to point that out in case it gets confusing)
word count: 3k
masterlist | taglist | ao3
updates blog: @eyelessupdates
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The tip of your fingers drum nervously against the counter; the sound is awful mixed with the aggressive rumbling of the coffee machine. Like every other morning, you watch the birds outside the kitchen window, pecking through the bowl of mixed seeds, and like every other morning, you feel Santiago’s hand gently resting over your lower stomach as the prickle of his stubble scratches your cheek when he kisses it.
You hear him pull the stool to sit at the bar table, like every other morning, and like every other morning, you give him the coffee you just made – though hesitantly, this time – before you make yourself one.
And just like every other morning, he checks on his phone as he waits for his coffee to cool down, the smoke curling up in the air, swirls visible through the ray of sunshine piercing through the kitchen.
You gaze at him, at the way he scrolls through the news page on his phone, your stomach churning at the fact you’re both trying so hard to act like yesterday was an evening like every other one and like this morning is the natural follow up of a perfectly normal situation.
Then, all you can hear is the coffee machine, your coffee pouring and the birds outside, chirping.
“Are we gonna act like nothing happened?” 
He looks up from his phone, to you. 
“Isn’t that what you want?” he quirks an eyebrow at you, his morning voice deep and raspy.
You huff out a small breath through your nose. “No” the coffee machine stops, but you remain facing Santiago. “I want things to be clear between us.”
He puts his phone down onto the counter, with a small chuckle as both of his hands rub the sleep off of his face. “You made things clear sweetheart.”
Your body was curled at the edge of your side, your arm hanging off the bed, fingers brushing the cool floor. Sleep had been hard to find, for the both of you; you felt Santiago move behind you across the bed, turning to face the opposite direction. 
How could either of you possibly sleep tonight?
Your heart ached inside your chest, your mind full and feeling like your head was about to explode, so you couldn’t even imagine how he must feel.
“Santi,” your voice was weak, quieter than you had anticipated. 
He hummed softly in response, just enough to let you know he was listening. 
You waited an instant. It all burned your tongue, everything you could possibly say to him.
“I love you” you reminded him, as if innocently trying to press a bandaid over the wide crack you had managed to create earlier. It felt stupid. You knew this wouldn’t fix the broken pieces.
Maybe it was even making things worse.
Santiago could hear the beating of his own heart reverberating through his ears; for you, the room was dead silent, and it remained like this for what seemed to be an eternity, during which you considered leaving the bedroom to take a breath outside, before he finally said, 
“I know.”
The ride back home had been oppressively quiet. Santiago's playlist, though playing at the lowest volume, had somehow managed to mingle with the shitload of thoughts running through your mind, and the rhythmic drumming of his fingers against the steering wheel felt like a desperate attempt to ease the sickening tension between the both of you and to make it feel like it all wasn’t awfully awkward.
Back at your shared home, you watched as he slid his jacket over the coat rack like he was on autopilot before you followed, hanging yours beside his. 
You glanced at him as he mindlessly tossed his cap over the couch. It felt like the right moment to address the elephant in the room – though you weren't truly sure there was a right moment to talk about this.
“Santi I–” you started, words dying in your throat, unsure where you were even going. He turned and sat against the back of the couch, knowing where the conversation was headed, his hands shoving into his pockets. “It’s alright,” he said quietly, his voice low, resigned. “You don’t have to explain anything. I get it.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to marry you.” you affirmed. His gaze hardened, his lips pressing into a tight line as he looked at you. Out of all the things you could say, he hadn’t anticipated this. 
You could distinctly see the hurt and confusion in his flickering eyes. “Then what is this? Because that’s sure as hell what it felt like tonight.” 
You hated this. Hated to see him ache, knowing it was all your fault. Hated to hear the self defensive sarcasm in his voice – hated to see his conflicted furrowed brow. “It's just– not the right time.” you explained. You took a breath, stepping towards him, getting closer, but not too much. You could already see the frustration building up inside him, you didn’t want him to feel cornered.
“You don't know what you're doing. You're still processing what happened in South America” 
It had only been a month; he was still having nightmares, was still dissociating at random times, was still pouring himself a glass at random times of the day, more often than he should.
You knew you were right. You wondered if he thought you were. 
He stared at you, his expression unreadable, and you talked again when you started to see the defensiveness, the way his mouth gaped slightly as he searched for his words.
“You’re not doing this for us. You’re doing this for you, because you’re scared. You’re scared of things slipping away from you, so you jump head first into things to feel like you have control over your life. That’s what this proposal felt like” 
He rubbed the stubble of his chin, nodding, not like he understood or agreed, like he acknowledged what you were saying. His hand buried in his jeans pocket again. "You think this is just because of what happened? I’ve been sure about this for a long time. I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t." his eyes darkened, his jaw working as he processed the conversation. “You think I don’t mean it.” he said quietly, more of a statement than a question.
“I'm not sure,” you pinched your lips, stepping towards him, desperate to make him understand. “I mean, I know you mean it. I know. But Santi… Ever since you came back–” you shook your head. His jaw tightened, the crease of his brows becoming more visible. “You’re trying to hold on to something, to control something, because so much of what happened out there was out of your hands. That proposal– it felt like a reaction to everything, like you’re trying to ground yourself, to finally have control over something in your life.”
He shook his head, a small sigh leaving his mouth. “It wasn’t. I just didn’t want to waste any more time.” he nodded, a pleading look over his face. Your heart clenched inside your chest. “I know it may seem rushed after what happened, with Tom and everything, but–” he stopped when he saw you wince. “I want to make the most of my life. With you”
The confession should make you feel all giddy, just like the proposal was supposed to. It just makes your heart tighten inside your chest.
“So, I’m right.” you raised your eyebrows at the way he just proved your point. “You’re doing this because of the operation.” 
You sighed with a shake of your head, your hand trying to rub away the ache lodged inside your skull. “So no, I don’t want to marry you out of emergency. Ask me again when we have it all sorted out, and I’ll say yes”
He nodded, biting his tongue. He knew he didn't have room to talk back on this, because he knew you were probably right.
“Jesus, Santi” you sighed, shaking your head once again, before you disappeared through the hallway. 
“I don’t want you to feel like shit over this,” you say, turning away to pick up your coffee. His lips tighten into a sheepish smile before he brings his own cup to his mouth. 
A soft frown grows over his face as he points a finger at you, his mouth still full. “So, next time,” he starts, having barely finished swallowing his sip. “Bigger ring, better speech, delivery?” he asks teasingly, testing the waters. 
You huff out a small, genuine laugh, relieved he’s taking it lightly, and an easy smile grows over his face when he sees yours.
You lean in against the counter, onto your forearms, humming in reflection. 
“Ring is perfect. Speech, delivery… I’d say save your talent in smoothness for our vows” you grin.
“Okay,” he chuckles, “So we're really getting married at some point” he grins, sliding his hand into yours.
“At some point,” you shrug playfully, gently squeezing his hand. “It just has to be the right time” you nod, more serious now.
“The right time…” he hums pensively, nodding slowly.
It starts rather innocently, at first, before it becomes a silly little game to him. 
The tension regarding the proposal has gradually eased between the both of you, and you have managed to find your regular dynamic again, not needing to sleep on opposite edges of your shared bed anymore.
It happens for the first time two weeks after the proposal, while you are getting ready to go to work; you’re almost done brushing your teeth, Santiago standing by your side doing the same, when he asks, out of the blue, “Would this be the right time?”
You frown at his reflection in the mirror, unsure what he means, leaning above the sink to spit out your foaming toothpaste. 
“What?” you ask, turning to him – his toothbrush is hanging from his mouth, his hand holding an open ring box. You freeze, once again, the same way you did the first time. 
“Marry me?” he asks, the toothbrush hanging out of his mouth moving as he speaks, his toothpaste-full mouth making the question almost unintelligible. You would think he’s being serious if he didn’t go back to brushing his teeth with his free hand as soon as he asked the question, and if he didn’t immediately follow into breaking into a laugh, rushing to empty his mouth full of toothpaste in the sink. 
“Very funny,” you sigh, your heart still thumping inside your chest as you watch him rinse his mouth.
“Oh you should have seen your face, babe” he chuckles facing you again, a playful grin plastered over his face. 
“Too bad you will never know my answer to the question,” you tease. He huffs out a laugh, wiping away the bit of dry toothpaste in the corner of your mouth before he kisses you. 
The next time it happens is more spontaneous, less staged on his part and more subtle – though still somewhat gently pushy. 
You’re trying to assemble a shelf, reading over and over again the instruction manual that might as well be written in another language; Santiago’s sighing as he checks every side and angle of the half built piece of furniture, trying to figure out where it went wrong, when he confidently affirms, “If we can get through this, I think we can go through marriage.”
And from there, it goes on, and on. 
It's little jokes about it thrown randomly through the weeks, making you playfully hit his chest with the back of your hand.
It's him getting on one knee, looking up at you with soft eyes, before he eventually just ends up tying his shoe.
It's him opening the ring box at the most random situations.
It all gets so frequent you don’t even get surprised when he kneels to grab something from the shelf when you're out for groceries, then shifting to one knee and dramatically pulling the ring box out of his jacket to present it to you.
“Santi, c’mon, your knees!” you urge him up, offering your hand for help, giggling like a teenager as you look around making sure no one actually thinks he's serious. He laughs and gets up, putting the item he was originally grabbing in the cart. “Are you really carrying that ring everywhere with you?” you scold him, pulling on his arm as you cling to him.
He shrugs. “You never know when it might happen,” he grins playfully.
He's not, in the slightest, kidding. He even does it in the middle of sex once.
He's under you, his grip hot and firm over your hips as you roll against his lap, small gasps leaving your lips swollen from kissing; he pulls your upper body down to his, silencing your desperate moans by licking into your mouth as he fucks up into you, one hand pressed against your back, the other gripping your side. 
His hand comes to rest at your neck once he pulls away. “If this doesn’t make you wanna marry me, I don’t know what will” he breathes out, reaching to his bedside table to grab the small box resting there.
You grip his wrist. “Don’t do that to me. You know I’d say yes to anything right now” you whine, drawing a huffed laugh out of him. “You’re not playing fair”
He laughs into your neck, planting a kiss there.
Spring quickly fades into summer, so it gets more and more frequent for you and Santiago to spend your weekend evenings at the boys’; it is at Will’s place this time, so like each time you’re there, they play poker, and because Benny is a sore loser, he ends up hanging out with you by the firepit, further away from the group. 
“So, are you actually gonna say yes one day?” Benny asks, handing you your glass refill, pulling the empty chair by your side to sit down next to you.
You smile, amused as you take your glass from Benny’s hand. You know the subject is no secret to anyone, but it still manages to make your heart leap inside your chest each time someone mentions it.
“It would require him to actually ask” you say with a tilt of the head before you take a sip of your drink.
Benny hums thoughtfully. 
There’s a silence between you before you can hear a sudden commotion of laughs further away and Frankie’s familiar bragging sneer, breaking the prior focused mood of their poker table. You smile as you watch them, your attention drifting back to Benny when he nudges you with his bottle of beer. “You know, for as long as I’ve known Pope, he’s always had commitment issues.” he nods, a small scoff breaking through. “Could rarely keep a girlfriend long enough for us to see her twice. Hell, you should see how many girls he’s had casual sex with, it’s–” 
“Okay Benny, you don’t have to–” you scoff, holding a hand up to stop him.
“I know, I know, it’s not something you wanna hear” he laughs, shaking his head. 
“What I mean is if the Santiago Garcia I know is asking you to marry him, he means it.” he shrugs, taking a sip of his beer.
“I know,” you mutter casually, like he just said the most banal thing ever when in reality your stomach flutters at Benny’s words and you suddenly feel like a teenager with a crush. 
The night goes on and quiets down until eventually, everyone ends up leaving or going to bed; Will offered his sofa bed for you and Santiago to sleep on, and you both agreed to accept, admitting you were too tired to drive back home. 
“So how many games did you win?” you ask him, sliding underneath the thin cover to press yourself against him. 
He chuckles, extending his arm so you can slot close to him. “Only one” 
“You suck”
He grins at your teasing. “I’ll never be worse than Benny” 
You chuckle, pressing your lips against his stubbled cheek. His hand slides down your back, pulling you even closer against him before he slips it underneath your shirt, his thumb dragging back and forth against your bare skin. 
Your mouths meet when his other hand cups your face, his broad hands roaming onto your sides and back when you fully lie over him, the kiss deepening as his tongue slips into your mouth and you start full on making out; you would be fucked if anyone came by the living room to use the bathroom, but either of you could care less.
“Hm, I could ask you to marry me right now” he hums, barely pulling away from your lips; he’s still so close, so close that you can feel him smile. You chuckle, your hand burying into the short curls at the side of his head. “No, I mean it,” he affirms in a serious whisper, adjusting his position under you. “Look, I’m done joking. Marry me”
You back away, enough to be able to read his expression. 
Something in his eyes tells you he might be serious, this time. “Really?”
He nods. “Yes. Fuck, I don’t even have the ring right now.”
You grin softly, shifting to rest by his side again. “You’re good. You’re really good.” you prop yourself onto your elbow, your other hand resting against his chest. “Because you’ve done it so many times throughout literally months and I’m actually surprised now that you’re asking for real” he smiles at that, his hand resting over yours. 
“You know, I’m still waiting for my answer” he grins. 
You shrug playfully. “Eh, you don’t have any ring, so I don’t know–” you tease, stopping when he rolls over you and presses his mouth to yours. You kiss him back, your hands burying into his hair again. “Of course I’ll marry you.”
He smiles contentedly, his eyes softly roaming over your face.
“I meant it the first time I asked” he admits, pinching his lips into a small smile. You mirror it, brushing a thumb over his cheekbone.
“But I get why you said no. And you were right to. But it’s kinda crazy that it’s now happening in Will’s living room” he snorts up a laugh, and you burst out laughing, before you quiet yourself with the palm of your hand against your mouth.
“I know, right? But it could have been at Walmart, so”
He chokes up a laugh, burying his face against your chest. 
“Yeah, it could have been at Walmart.”
any and every feedback/reblog/comment is greatly appreciated and keeps authors going!!
triple frontier taglist:
@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @mystinky-butt @anightshift @whatthefishh @alexxavicry 
@grxywindd @campingwiththecharmings @mintgreen24 @dameronshandholder @spider-starry 
@jakecockley @cocodiem @spxctorsslxt @luxisluxurious @dowbastan 
@unear7hly @pigeonmama @mari-thesimp
& @missdictatorme :p
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bullet-prooflove · 2 months ago
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Sfogliatella - Chef Luca x Reader (The Bear)
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Tagging: @Princesssunderworld @djlnkaled @kmc1989 @ineedrickgrimes @imjustheretoreads-blog
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One of the things Luca loves the most about living on a boat is the sound of the waves lightly lapping against the hull as he falls asleep at night, your body curled up against his, his fingertips combing lightly through your hair.
In the mornings he leaves you sleeping in his sheets, your hair a bird’s nest from the previous night’s adventures, his lips brushing over your forehead before he starts his shift. He spends the rest of day thinking about you as he creates the most awe inspiring desserts based on the tours you take of the city during his days off.
You’ve been working as a translator for a few years now, residing in Copenhagen while attending meetings all over the world when required. You take to languages the same way he took to baking, with a ferocity that refuses to be sated.
It makes things interesting in the bedroom when Luca discovers he loves the way you speak Italian. You whisper the filthiest things against his skin as you ride him, your fingers tangled in his hair as he fucks up into you because you make him lose his god damn mind.
In the aftermath you lay draped across him, your fingertips tracing over the freckles on his chest as he asks you to tell him about the best dessert you’ve ever eaten.
“In Naples they have this thing called Sfogliatella.” You tell him, propping your chin up on his chest as you describe it. “It’s like a shell shape and the pastry is layered. It has a sweet custard-like filling made with semolina and ricotta. Sometimes they add chocolate or candied citrus fruit. It’s spectacular, I remember taking a bite of it and I swear I saw God.”
“That good huh?” He says, his fingertips tucking a stray strand of hair back behind your ear.
“I’ve never had anything like it.” You tell him, the edges of your mouth tipping up into a smile at the memory. “It’s one of the things I miss the most about living in Italy.”
He’s never been to Italy, he’d done some travelling before he landed in Copenhagen, shifted from restaurant to restaurant in pursuit of his passion but he’d never ended up there. He thinks he’d like to one day, that maybe the two of you could go together.
In the meantime he sets himself a new challenge.
Making the Sfogliatella.
The first thing he learns about the pastry is just how time consuming it is to make. It takes over twenty seven hours and that’s just the test samples, which go horribly because he’s still finding his footing.
He slaves over the recipe for months, making adjustments, consulting with Carmy and experimenting with different fillings to get the right texture and consistency.
“This is starting to feel like a proposal pastry.” Carmy remarks during their seventh Zoom call, while they’re discussing the merits of using apricots or lemons for the centre and Luca doesn’t respond.
He doesn’t know when the pursuit of the perfect Sfogliatella  became more than just a challenge. He thinks it was the day you took him to the Glyptoteket, your fingers linked through his as the two of you explored the Winter Garden. He can’t explain just how stunning it had been, stepping into that oasis, being surrounded by that plush greenery. He’d sat there for hours sketching ideas in his notebook while you explored the other exhibits. He’d been lacking in inspiration at the time, he’d confided that to you the night before because he’d become frustrated with the menu he was working on and you’d brought him to this place filled with beauty and magic. It was at that  moment he realised just how much you understood him, you’d known exactly what he needed even when he didn’t.
“Good luck.” Carmy signs off and Luca’s left to make a decision between apricots and lemons without him.
It’s on the eve of your birthday that he finally achieves perfection. He carefully packs the pastries away to take home for tomorrow when he’s going to make every single one of your dreams come true.
When you wake up the next morning on his boat it’s to the scent of Earl Grey tea and freshly baked pastries. You can’t believe your eyes when you sit down at the kitchen table and he sets down the Sfogliatella in front of you. He will never forget the expression on your face when you bite in into it, the look of joy, the moan of appreciation.
“It’s better than the one in Naples.” You tell him, pressing your fingertips to your lips because you’re starting to get emotional. “I can’t believe you did this for me.”
“You deserve the world.” He tells you as he gets down on one knee in front of you, taking your hand in his. “And I want to give that to you as your personal chef and your husband.”
You laugh then because you’d never imagined when you’d taken the job in Copenhagen that you’d end up falling in love with a man as wonderful as Luca, one that has spent months striving to make you feel so special on your big day.
“Yes.” You say as he slides the engagement ring on your finger. “Of course I’ll marry you Luca.”
Love Luca? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.
Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee
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novaursa · 2 months ago
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good evening I saw that you were still taking requests
I had an idea where fem!targaryen is Aegon's twin sister, she was sent at the same time as Daeron to Oldtown She was always extremely close to her twin brother but his character didn't match the court.
She looks a lot like Daemon, a bit of a rebellious princess and her grandfather sent her to their house to help her recover. but arriving in Oldtown she created a more than close bond with her uncle Sir Gwayne.
If we could have the complexity of their relationship, like the first time their outlook on each other changed, first kiss but they are still consumed by the fact that it's not right
They would have a very close relationship, Gwayne is someone who is very teasing and even a little arrogant. They would probably marry under the old and new gods like Targaryen and for many years no one else knows except Aegon
then when Aegon was made king, Alicent contacted her brother again but at the same time would hear about several children with white hair and purple eyes who would be in Oldtown, she would immediately think of bastards but she would never have thought of her brother and her daughter
Otto and Alicent would be angry and even disgusted by Gwayne's behavior but when they return to King's Landing they are welcomed wonderfully by Aegon who is more than happy to see his nephews and nieces again 🫶🏼👀
A Flame in Exile
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- Summary: Your mother and grandsire have sent you away to Oldtown. You were too unruly like your uncle Daemon, they said. But Gwayne never shied away from fire.
- Paring: niece!reader/Gwayne Hightower
- Note: For more of my works, visit my blog. The list is pinned to the top. Requests are closed!
- Rating: Mature 16+
- Word count: 6 000+
- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @deniixlovezelda @duck-duck-goose2 @aadu2173 @holdingforgeneralhugs
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The wind bites at your face as the ship draws closer to the towering spire of the Hightower. You shiver slightly, though not from the cold. Oldtown is a world away from the Red Keep, and though you’ve heard much of its grandeur and history, the thought of calling this place home sits uneasily within you. Yet, the unease is nothing compared to the aching emptiness left by your separation from Aegon.
Your twin. Your other half. His tear-streaked face is burned into your mind, his voice—trembling and desperate—echoes in your ears. "Please, don’t leave me," he had cried, clinging to you with a desperation that had nearly broken your resolve. His arms wrapped around you so tightly that it felt like he was trying to fuse your very souls together, as if by sheer force of will he could keep you by his side.
But your mother had intervened. Alicent’s voice had been cold and firm, like steel wrapped in velvet, her eyes flashing with something you couldn't quite place as she pried Aegon’s arms from around your neck. "Do not make a scene, Aegon," she had hissed, her grip on him as unyielding as her will. And then, with one last pained look, you had been pulled away, ushered towards the ship that would take you to Oldtown, to the Hightower. To your new life.
Even now, as you stand on the deck, the memory haunts you. Aegon, your other half, left behind in the Red Keep, with no one who truly understands him. The thought that you are the only one who ever did brings you little comfort, for what use is understanding when you are not there to provide it? 
You glance down at Daeron, your little brother, standing beside you. His wide eyes are filled with awe, and a hint of fear as he stares at the looming city before him. He is too young to understand the full weight of what has been done, but you see the uncertainty in the way he clutches at your hand. You squeeze his hand in return, offering what little comfort you can, though the gesture feels hollow. 
The ship finally docks, and the crew is quick to lower the gangplank. As you descend, you are met by a small party of retainers, dressed in the colors of House Hightower. At their head stands Gwayne Hightower, your uncle, and eldest son of Otto Hightower, your grandsire. His presence is commanding, yet there is a warmth in his gaze that eases some of the tension coiled within you.
“Welcome to Oldtown,” Gwayne greets, his voice smooth and gentle, with a hint of the formality you’ve come to expect from a Hightower. He bows his head to you first, acknowledging your status, before turning to Daeron with a softer expression. “Prince Daeron, it is an honor to have you here.”
Daeron blinks up at Gwayne, unsure of what to say, but Gwayne’s easy smile seems to relax him. “Thank you, Ser Gwayne,” Daeron finally replies, his voice small but polite.
“And you, Princess Y/N,” Gwayne turns his full attention to you, his grey eyes meeting yours with a curiosity that is hard to miss. “It has been many years since we last met, but I can see the blood of the dragon runs strong in you. You have grown into a fine lady.”
You offer him a nod, not trusting yourself to speak just yet. His words are kind, but you see the caution in his gaze. You are a stranger to him, a puzzle to be unraveled. And in this moment, you feel more alone than ever. Yet, there is something in Gwayne's demeanor that draws you in—an undercurrent of understanding, as if he too knows what it is to be caught between duty and desire.
“We have prepared quarters for you both within the Hightower,” Gwayne continues, gesturing to the towering structure behind him. “Your retainers will find all the accommodations they require as well. If there is anything you need, do not hesitate to ask.”
You incline your head in thanks, finally finding your voice. “Thank you, Ser Gwayne. Your hospitality is appreciated.”
As you follow Gwayne through the streets of Oldtown, Daeron trailing close behind, you cannot help but marvel at the city around you. It is a place of ancient history, where every stone seems to hum with the weight of the ages. The Citadel looms in the distance, a symbol of knowledge and power, while the Starry Sept stands as a beacon of faith. Yet, despite the grandeur, you find no comfort here. This is not your home. And though Gwayne’s presence is steady and kind, you know it will be some time before you can truly trust him, or anyone else here.
When you finally reach the Hightower, you are led through its winding corridors to your chambers. They are lavishly appointed, far more luxurious than anything you expected, but the opulence feels cold, impersonal. You cannot help but think of the warmth of the Red Keep, of the fire-lit chambers where you and Aegon would hide away from the world, finding solace in each other’s company.
Once you and Daeron are settled, Gwayne excuses himself, leaving you alone with your brother. Daeron, still so young, looks to you for guidance, for reassurance. And though you ache to give it to him, you feel the weight of your own uncertainty pressing down on you.
“Do you think we’ll be happy here?” Daeron asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
You look down at him, his innocent face so full of hope, and force a smile. “We’ll make the best of it,” you reply, your voice steady despite the turmoil within. “We have each other, and that is what matters.”
He nods, seemingly satisfied with your answer, and you pull him into a hug. But as you hold him close, you cannot shake the feeling that something has been irreparably broken. You are no longer whole, no longer tethered to the one person who understood you completely. And as you close your eyes, you wonder if you will ever feel at home again.
As the night falls and the Hightower grows quiet, you sit by the window, staring out at the city below. Somewhere out there, in the vastness of this world, is Aegon, your twin, your other half. You hope he is safe, hope he knows that you did not want to leave him. But hope feels fragile in the face of the reality you now face. 
In the distance, the Starry Sept’s bells toll, their mournful sound carrying on the wind. You wonder if Aegon can hear them too, wherever he is. You wonder if he is thinking of you, as you are thinking of him.
And as you drift into an uneasy sleep, you cling to the memory of his tears, of his desperate pleas. For they are all you have left of him now, and you fear that, without them, you may forget what it feels like to be whole.
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The days in Oldtown have blurred into a monotonous routine, a far cry from the vibrant, if chaotic, life you once knew in the Red Keep. The city, with all its ancient grandeur, has become a gilded cage, and you find yourself suffocated by the very walls meant to protect you. Daeron, though still young, has adapted better than you expected, throwing himself into his lessons with the maesters. You, however, remain adrift, seeking solace in the only companionship that has begun to mean anything in this new life—Gwayne Hightower.
From the moment you arrived, Gwayne has been a constant presence, hovering at the edges of your life in Oldtown. At first, you found his attentions burdensome, a reminder of your exile from King's Landing. But over time, the sharp edges of your resentment dulled, replaced by a begrudging acceptance of his company. Now, months after your arrival, Gwayne’s presence has become something you not only expect but anticipate. His arrogance, his teasing remarks—they no longer irritate you as they once did. Instead, they have become a strange kind of comfort, a link to a life that feels farther away with each passing day.
On this particular afternoon, you find yourself in one of the Hightower’s many courtyards, the sun hanging low in the sky. The air is cool, the first signs of autumn creeping in. You sit on a stone bench, watching as the shadows stretch long and thin across the cobblestones. Gwayne is beside you, his usual smirk in place, though his eyes are softer than usual.
“You know,” he begins, his voice light with mockery, “I never thought Oldtown would see the day a dragon would be caged within its walls.”
You glance at him, raising an eyebrow. “Caged? You speak as if I’m some kind of beast, Gwayne.”
“Aren’t you?” he retorts, though there’s no malice in his tone. “You have the blood of the dragon in you, after all. And from what I hear, more of Daemon’s fire than Viserys’s... whatever it is he has.” He leans closer, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “That’s why they sent you here, isn’t it? To keep you away from your dear twin. To keep you from burning down the world.”
You bristle at his words, even as a part of you knows there is truth in them. “And what would you know of such things?” you snap back, though there’s little heat behind it. “You Hightowers are always so certain of yourselves, always so sure of your place in the world.”
Gwayne laughs, a low, rich sound that sends a shiver down your spine. “We are sure of our place because we make it so. That is what my father taught me. But you… you are different, aren’t you? You don’t fit neatly into anyone’s plans, not even your own.”
His words sting because they cut too close to the bone. You are different, an anomaly in your own family. Not quite the dutiful daughter Alicent hoped for, nor the rebellious one like Daemon that Viserys once admired, you have always straddled a line that leaves you belonging nowhere. And here, in Oldtown, that difference is magnified, a glaring fault line that Gwayne seems all too eager to point out.
But today, something is different. The way Gwayne looks at you, the way his voice lingers on your name—it’s all sharper, more intense. He’s leaning in closer, the space between you shrinking with each passing moment, until you can feel the warmth of his breath on your skin. The tension between you crackles like lightning before a storm, dangerous and thrilling.
“Why do you do that?” you ask suddenly, your voice softer than you intended. “Why do you always bring up my uncle? Why do you always remind me of why I’m here?”
Gwayne’s smirk falters, just for a moment, before he straightens up, the teasing mask slipping back into place. “Because it’s the truth, and I’ve found that you prefer truth over the pretty lies most would tell you.”
You can’t argue with that, but it doesn’t ease the knot in your chest. “It’s a bitter truth,” you murmur, more to yourself than to him.
“Perhaps,” he agrees, his tone shifting, becoming more serious. “But it’s the truth nonetheless. You are fire, my lady. Wild and untamed, just like Daemon. And it scares them—all of them. My father, your mother, the king… they don’t know what to do with you.”
“And you?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. “Do I scare you, Gwayne?”
He looks at you then, really looks at you, and for the first time, there’s no arrogance in his gaze, no teasing light in his eyes. “Yes,” he says quietly. “But I find that I’m drawn to the flame, even knowing I might get burned.”
The admission hangs between you, heavy and charged. The world seems to narrow down to this moment, to the space between you and Gwayne, a space that feels both too vast and too close. You can see the conflict in his eyes, the way he fights against something he doesn’t fully understand. But then, so do you.
“I should go,” you say, the words an echo of what you think you should say, but not what you want. 
Gwayne’s hand reaches out before you can move, his fingers curling around your wrist with a gentle pressure. It’s a small touch, but it ignites something within you, a spark that quickly flares into a dangerous blaze. His touch feels like the first real thing you’ve felt since you left King’s Landing, since you left Aegon behind. 
“Stay,” he says, his voice a soft command, a plea wrapped in steel. “Just for a little while longer.”
You know you shouldn’t. You know this is wrong, forbidden, and dangerous. The Seven would condemn it, your family would disown you, and yet... there’s a part of you that doesn’t care. A part of you that craves this, that wants to feel alive again, even if it means stepping into the flames. 
Your heart pounds in your chest as you look into Gwayne’s eyes, seeing the same conflict mirrored in his gaze. And then, slowly, you nod. 
He pulls you closer, his hand moving from your wrist to your cheek, his thumb brushing against your skin in a way that makes your breath hitch. For a moment, neither of you moves, the world suspended in a fragile balance. And then, as if drawn by an invisible force, Gwayne leans in, his lips brushing against yours in a tentative kiss.
The contact is electric, sending shockwaves through your body, waking something within you that has been dormant for too long. You respond without thinking, without caring, your hands moving to his shoulders as you press closer to him. The kiss deepens, becoming more urgent, more desperate, as if you are both trying to fill the void that has been gnawing at you for months.
When you finally pull back, breathless and trembling, Gwayne’s eyes are dark with something you’ve never seen before. “This… this is madness,” he whispers, his voice rough with emotion.
“Madness,” you echo, your own voice shaking. “But it’s the only thing that feels real.”
For a moment, you both just sit there, the weight of what you’ve done pressing down on you. You should feel guilt, shame, regret—but all you feel is a strange kind of relief, as if a burden you didn’t know you were carrying has been lifted.
Gwayne’s hand still rests on your cheek, and he brushes a strand of hair away from your face, his touch lingering. “We can’t do this,” he says, but there’s no conviction in his words, no real intent to stop.
“I know,” you reply, though you don’t mean it. You both know the truth—you will do this again, and again, until you’ve burned through all the self-control you have left. It’s inevitable, like the pull of the moon on the tide.
But for now, you just sit there, in the fading light of the courtyard, your hands still intertwined, the air between you charged with a promise of something more. Something dangerous, something forbidden, but something that, for the first time in months, makes you feel alive.
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It's a night that feels suspended in time, where the old gods and new alike seem to hold their breath, watching, waiting.
You stand beside Gwayne, your heart pounding in your chest, each beat a thunderous drum in the stillness of the room. The decision to marry in secret, away from the eyes of the court and the judgment of the realm, was one made in the quiet moments between stolen kisses and whispered confessions. It was born out of a love that neither of you could deny, a love that defied the rules of blood and duty, a love that could only be sealed in the shadows.
The septon who stands before you is not one from the grand Starry Sept of Oldtown. He is an ostracized man, a septon fallen from grace, his robes frayed and worn, his face lined with the scars of a hard life. But his eyes are sharp, and there is a solemnity in his bearing that speaks of a deep connection to the gods, both old and new. It is this man that Gwayne sought out, a man who would not only marry you in secret but who would bless this union under the eyes of both the Seven and the Valyrian gods—an acknowledgment of the blood that flows in your veins, the fire that binds you to your ancestors.
The chamber is small, tucked away in the bowels of the Hightower, a place known only to a few trusted souls. The only witnesses to this union are the flickering candles and the ancient stone walls that have stood through centuries of history. And here, in this hidden place, you are about to make a vow that will bind you to Gwayne for eternity.
Gwayne turns to you, his eyes soft and filled with a tenderness that makes your breath catch. The man who once teased you with sharp words and arrogant smirks now looks at you with a love so profound it feels like it could consume you both. He reaches out, taking your hands in his, his grip firm and warm. The callouses on his palms are a testament to his life as a warrior, but the way he holds you is gentle, reverent.
"My love," Gwayne begins, his voice steady but thick with emotion, "before the eyes of the Seven, and in the presence of the Valyrian gods, I take you as my wife. You are my fire, my light, my salvation. In you, I have found not just love, but a purpose, a reason to be. I vow to protect you, to cherish you, to stand by your side, no matter what trials we may face. From this day until my last, you are mine, and I am yours."
His words send a shiver through you, the weight of his vow settling deep in your heart. You can feel the truth of them, the way they resonate with the very core of who you are. When you speak, your voice is soft but unwavering, carrying with it the depth of your own love and conviction.
"Gwayne," you begin, your eyes locking with his, "you are my heart, my strength, my true companion. In a world that seeks to tear us apart, you are the one who has always stood by me, who has seen me for who I truly am, and loved me all the same. I vow to stand with you, to fight for us, to love you with all that I am. We may walk a dangerous path, but I choose it willingly, because I choose you. Now and always, I am yours, and you are mine."
The septon steps forward, his voice low and gravelly as he intones the ancient rites. "Before the eyes of the gods, both new and old, I bless this union. By the light of the Seven and the fire of Old Valyria, may your love be eternal, may your bond be unbreakable. What is done here in secret, let it be known in the hearts of those who bear witness."
He raises a small vial, pouring the contents—a mixture of oil and salt—into a shallow basin. The scent of it fills the room, sharp and cleansing. He dips his fingers into the mixture and anoints your foreheads, first Gwayne’s and then yours, marking you with the symbols of both faiths. The coolness of the oil against your skin is grounding, a reminder of the gravity of this moment.
"By the authority granted to me by the gods," the septon continues, his voice carrying the weight of the ages, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You are bound by blood, by love, and by the will of the gods. Go forth as one, in strength and in unity."
Gwayne pulls you to him then, his hands cradling your face as he kisses you deeply, passionately, in a way that speaks of all the love he has kept hidden from the world. The kiss is a sealing of your vows, a promise made flesh. You melt into him, your hands gripping his tunic as you pour every ounce of your heart into that kiss, into this moment that is yours and his alone.
When you finally part, both of you are breathless, your foreheads resting together as you share the silence of the moment, the weight of what you’ve just done pressing down on you. There is a quiet reverence in the room, a sense that something sacred has just taken place, even if it is a secret that must be kept from the world.
Gwayne doesn’t release you, his hands still holding you close as if he’s afraid to let go, as if by doing so, this moment will shatter. His eyes search yours, and what he finds there makes him smile, a rare, genuine smile that softens the edges of his features. “You are mine now,” he whispers, a note of wonder in his voice. “And I am yours.”
“Always,” you whisper back, your fingers tracing the line of his jaw. “No matter what comes.”
The septon quietly gathers his things, his presence now a shadow in the background, but before he leaves, he pauses at the door, looking back at you both. “May the gods watch over you,” he says softly, and there’s a hint of sadness in his voice, as if he knows the dangers that lie ahead for two who dare to love in defiance of the world.
And then, he’s gone, leaving you and Gwayne alone in the dimly lit chamber, the only witnesses to your union now the flickering flames and the silent walls. 
Gwayne takes your hand, leading you to a low table where a small feast has been laid out, simple but thoughtful. The food and drink are symbols of the life you will now share, a life that must remain hidden in the shadows, but one that is no less real for it.
You sit together, the silence between you comfortable, each of you lost in your own thoughts. When Gwayne finally speaks, his voice is quiet, but there’s a fierceness to it that makes you look up.
“We will find a way, my love,” he says, his hand reaching out to cover yours. “No matter what, we will find a way to be together.”
You nod, squeezing his hand in return, your heart swelling with love for this man who has become your everything. “Yes,” you agree, your voice filled with the same determination. “We will.”
The night stretches on, and eventually, Gwayne rises, pulling you into his arms once more. He leads you to the bed that has been prepared, and as you lie down together, the weight of the world seems to fade away, leaving only the two of you, bound together by vows spoken in secret but no less sacred.
In the quiet darkness, Gwayne’s fingers trace the outline of your face, his touch tender and full of love. “Sleep, my wife,” he murmurs, his voice a balm to your soul. “For tomorrow, we begin the rest of our lives.”
You close your eyes, your head resting against his chest, the steady beat of his heart a comforting rhythm that lulls you into sleep. And as you drift off, you know that no matter what the world might say, no matter what the future holds, you and Gwayne are bound together by something far stronger than duty or blood. You are bound by love, a love that defies the gods and the world alike.
And that, you think as sleep finally takes you, is all that matters.
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The night outside the Red Keep is eerily still, as if the very air is holding its breath, waiting for something momentous to happen. Inside the queen’s chambers, the atmosphere is equally tense. Alicent Hightower sits at her desk, a single candle flickering beside her, casting shadows on the stone walls. Her hands tremble slightly as she unfolds the letter she has just received, the familiar sigil of House Hightower stamped in red wax at the seal. She has been waiting for this letter, though she dreads what it might contain.
Otto Hightower stands nearby, his hands clasped behind his back, his face an impassive mask. His eyes, however, are sharp, watching his daughter closely as she reads. The silence in the room is oppressive, broken only by the soft rustling of the parchment as Alicent’s eyes scan the contents.
As she reaches the end of the letter, her face pales, and her breath hitches. Slowly, as if the action costs her all the strength she has left, she lowers the letter to the desk. Her hand lingers on it for a moment before she crumples it in her fist, the delicate paper crinkling loudly in the quiet room.
“What does it say?” Otto asks, his voice calm but edged with curiosity.
Alicent doesn’t answer immediately. Instead, she stares down at the crushed letter in her hand, as if by squeezing it tightly enough, she could somehow undo the words it contains. But no amount of denial can erase what she has read. Finally, she raises her eyes to meet her father’s gaze, and the look she gives him is one of profound unease.
“He’s coming to King’s Landing,” she says, her voice low and strained. “Gwayne. With… his family.”
Otto’s brows knit together slightly, though his expression remains carefully controlled. “His family?” he echoes, the words heavy with unspoken questions.
Alicent swallows hard, a sense of dread settling deep in her gut. “Yes,” she whispers, her mind racing as she considers the implications. The rumors she has heard, the whispers that have reached her ears in recent months, suddenly take on a new and terrifying significance.
She looks back at her father, her voice trembling as she asks, “Have you heard the whispers, Father? The rumors coming from Oldtown… about bastards walking the halls of the Hightower? Children with silver hair and purple eyes?”
Otto’s gaze narrows, a flicker of something—concern, perhaps—passing through his eyes before he schools his features once more. “Rumors, nothing more,” he replies, though there is a carefulness to his tone now. “Gwayne married a noble lady, a match arranged by our family in Oldtown. It was a quiet affair, nothing that would draw too much attention. The children you speak of are likely theirs, legitimate, though the Hightowers have chosen to keep their names and details discreet, to avoid unnecessary scrutiny.”
Alicent’s heart hammers in her chest, the dread in her stomach deepening into something closer to panic. She stands abruptly, pacing the length of her chamber as she tries to make sense of the situation. The image of those children—silver-haired, violet-eyed—flashes in her mind, and with it, a terrible realization begins to take root.
“The only woman who could give birth to children with those features,” she says slowly, her voice thick with fear, “is a Targaryen. A woman with the blood of Old Valyria. And the only one who has been close enough to Gwayne… is her. My daughter.”
Otto remains silent, his eyes following his daughter as she paces. He understands the gravity of her words, the implications of what she is suggesting. But he is also a man who has spent his life navigating the treacherous waters of court politics, and he knows better than to give in to panic.
“Alicent,” he begins, his voice firm but not unkind, “we do not know for certain. These are only rumors, whispers in the dark meant to sow discord. We cannot act on mere speculation.”
But Alicent is not so easily reassured. She stops in her tracks, turning to face him with a look of desperation. “And what if the rumors are true? What if she has given Gwayne children? What if those children come to King’s Landing with him? What then?”
Otto exhales slowly, his mind already working through the possible scenarios. “If the children are indeed of Targaryen blood,” he says carefully, “then we must ensure they are seen as legitimate. We must present them as the offspring of Gwayne’s marriage, no matter the truth. If they bear the look of Valyria, it will only serve to strengthen their claim as trueborn heirs of House Hightower.”
Alicent shakes her head, the fear in her eyes now mingled with a deep, gnawing guilt. “But what of her, Father? What of my daughter? If it becomes known that she has married her own uncle, that she has borne his children… it will be seen as a scandal, a sin in the eyes of the Seven.”
Otto moves toward her then, placing a steadying hand on her shoulder. “We will deal with it as we must,” he says, his voice resolute. “We have always been able to navigate the complexities of power, and this will be no different. But for now, we must be calm. We must wait and see what Gwayne brings with him to King’s Landing. If the whispers are true, we will control the narrative. We will ensure that whatever happens, our family remains strong, untarnished by scandal.”
But Alicent can’t shake the image of her daughter, the girl she sent away so many years ago, now grown into a woman whose life has taken a path she never anticipated. A path that has led her back to the very heart of the storm that Alicent herself helped create.
As she looks into her father’s eyes, she sees the determination there, the cold pragmatism that has always defined him. And she knows that whatever happens, Otto Hightower will do whatever is necessary to protect their family’s legacy. But as for her… Alicent is no longer sure where the line between duty and love lies. And the thought of what might come to light when Gwayne arrives sends a fresh wave of dread coursing through her.
Because deep down, Alicent knows that the rumors are more than just whispers. They are the truth, a truth she has tried so hard to deny. And that truth is coming to King’s Landing, wrapped in the guise of her brother’s family—a family that should never have existed, yet one that now threatens to unravel everything she has fought to preserve.
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The sun hangs low in the sky, casting a warm golden light over the sprawling courtyard of the Red Keep. The air is heavy with anticipation, the kind that prickles at the back of your neck and settles uneasily in your stomach. Dowager Queen Alicent stands with her father, Otto Hightower, at her side, their eyes fixed on the great gates that lead into the heart of King’s Landing. Today, Gwayne Hightower returns to the capital, and with him, the secrets that have festered in the shadows of Oldtown.
As the gates creak open, the first thing Alicent notices is the Hightower banners, fluttering proudly in the breeze. A small company of knights and retainers rides in, their armor gleaming in the late afternoon sun, followed by a carriage flanked by more soldiers. But it is the figure on horseback at the head of the procession that draws her attention, making her heart skip a beat.
Gwayne Hightower rides in with all the confidence of a man who has nothing to hide, his expression calm, almost defiant. But it is not just his presence that sends a chill down Alicent’s spine—it is the woman who rides beside him. Her daughter, the princess she sent away so many years ago, now a grown woman with the unmistakable look of her Valyrian heritage. Her silver hair, cascading down her back in loose waves, catches the light, and her purple eyes, sharp and discerning, seem to pierce through the crowd.
But it is not just her presence that shocks Alicent and Otto—it is the way she and Gwayne sit side by side, unashamed and unafraid, as if daring anyone to question their union. Behind them, four children trail on smaller horses, their features a striking mix of Hightower and Targaryen—silver hair, purple eyes, and faces that mirror the legacy of both bloodlines.
Alicent’s heart sinks. The whispers, the rumors, they are all true. Her worst fears have materialized before her very eyes. She can barely breathe as she steps forward with Otto, her voice trembling with barely contained fury.
“Gwayne… what have you done?” Alicent’s voice is sharp, almost a hiss, as she locks eyes with her brother. “How could you be so reckless? So shameless?”
Otto steps forward as well, his usually composed demeanor now laced with anger. “This… this is an abomination,” he declares, his voice low but filled with authority. “You bring shame to our house, Gwayne. And you—” he turns to his granddaughter, his voice tightening—“you have brought dishonor to your name and to the memory of your father.”
But before either of them can say more, there is a sudden movement, a blur of silver and gold as someone rushes past them. Alicent barely has time to process what is happening before Aegon, now king and clad in his royal finery, sweeps forward. His face lights up with pure joy as he closes the distance between himself and his sister.
“Sister!” Aegon exclaims, his voice filled with delight. Without a second thought, he pulls her into a tight embrace, laughing as he buries his face in her hair. “Gods, I’ve missed you.”
You return the embrace just as fiercely, the years of separation melting away in an instant. Aegon’s warmth, his familiar scent, it all feels like home, like a piece of your heart has been returned to you. When he finally pulls back, he keeps his hands on your shoulders, his eyes scanning your face as if to reassure himself that you are truly there.
Aegon then turns his attention to the four children standing quietly behind you and Gwayne, their wide eyes watching the scene with a mix of curiosity and trepidation. His face softens as he approaches them, kneeling down to their level.
“And who are these fine young dragons?” Aegon asks, his voice gentle as he ruffles the hair of the eldest boy, who looks so much like his mother.
“They’re my children,” you say softly, pride evident in your voice. “Your nephews and nieces.”
Aegon grins, his eyes twinkling with mischief and affection. “I see they take after you, sister. They have the look of Targaryens—strong, bold.” He then looks up at Gwayne, his smile never wavering. “You’ve done well, Uncle.”
Gwayne inclines his head, a small smile playing on his lips. “Thank you, Your Grace.”
Alicent’s face drains of color as she watches the scene unfold, her worst fears confirmed. She steps forward, her voice trembling with barely contained rage. “Aegon… did you know about this?” Her eyes bore into her son, searching for any sign of deceit.
Aegon straightens up, turning to face his mother with an expression of calm amusement. “Of course, Mother. Did you truly think my sister and I would not stay in contact? We’ve always been close. She wrote to me often from Oldtown. I knew everything.”
Alicent’s hands shake, her nails digging into her palms as she struggles to contain her emotions. “And you… you approve of this? Of this union?” Her voice breaks on the last word, the full weight of what has happened crashing down on her.
Aegon’s smile only widens, a hint of defiance in his eyes. “Approve? I rejoice in it. They’ve done nothing wrong. They’ve followed their hearts, and that’s more than most in this wretched world can claim.”
Otto’s face is a mask of stone, but his eyes burn with anger and frustration as he steps forward. “This is not just about following one’s heart, Aegon. This is about the sanctity of the family, of the realm. A marriage like this… it will bring scandal, division. It goes against everything we’ve worked to build.”
But Aegon only laughs, a sound that echoes in the tense courtyard. “What scandal? The Seven Kingdoms are mine, and I will decide what is scandal and what is not. My sister and Gwayne are married, and their children are legitimate in my eyes. That is all that matters.”
He turns back to you and Gwayne, his expression softening once more. “Come,” he says, extending his hand to you. “Let us go inside. You’ve been away from home too long.”
Without waiting for a response, Aegon takes your hand and leads you toward the entrance of the Red Keep, Gwayne and the children following closely behind. The knights and retainers part to let you pass, their faces a mixture of shock, confusion, and respect. As you walk, you feel the weight of your family’s judgment pressing down on you, but with Aegon at your side, you feel an unshakeable sense of confidence.
Alicent and Otto remain rooted in place, watching as you and your family disappear into the castle. Alicent’s face is ashen, her eyes wide with disbelief and horror. She opens her mouth to say something, to call out to her son, but no words come. The truth of what has happened, the reality of the situation, is too overwhelming.
As the doors to the Red Keep close behind you, you can feel the walls of the castle seem to close in, suffocating in their familiar embrace. But there is also a strange sense of liberation, of triumph, in walking beside Gwayne, your husband, with your children in tow, and the support of the king himself.
Whatever the future holds, you know that this moment—this homecoming—will be the beginning of something new. Something that, for better or worse, will change the course of your family’s history forever.
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celestie0 · 29 days ago
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hi friends, i won’t be posting or updating any of my works for an indefinite period n will be on hiatus from this blog as well.
i’ve unlisted kickoff & ihm on ao3 (haven’t deleted, they’ve just been made private) and i’ve unpinned my masterlist here on tumblr (again nothing’s been deleted so you could probably find the chapters if you searched my tags)
but the reason i did that is because i don’t want any new readers finding my works during my hiatus because i don’t want to potentially upset more people in the event that, during this hiatus, i decide that i would no longer like to write my fics
that would be an insanely sad decision to make. i put so much thought into my stories not because i am trying to make them entertaining, but it’s because they genuinely mean so much to me and are cathartic in ways i can’t describe. i have spent a great majority of my life self negating for the sake of others, and so writing was just a form of expression where i could talk about all the things i’ve suppressed over the years - anxiety, career stress, financial stress, avoidance, depression, loss, coming of age, navigating love, etc
but lately, and i do think it’s been a build up of just some careless words from a handful of people over the months, i find myself steering towards a practice of writing that is no longer asking the question “how can i put as much of myself in this piece as possible?” but rather “how can i make sure people won’t criticize this…i feel awful that it doesn’t have what they want it to have…other creators are doing xyz, should i be doing that too?…i’m just scared to share this”
not exactly sure when that shift in headspace began, but as of right now, it’s as strong as ever. and i understand that those questions may seem irrational, and i just have to try to not focus on the feeling, n i wish i was someone that could compartmentalize those thoughts better, but here’s the thing — the whole reason i started expressing myself through writing in the first place was because i’ve spent my whole life compartmentalizing. it would feel so ironic & untrue to the lessons i’ve learned in this journey if i just chose to “suck this up” and continue pushing forward until i reach a point of burnout simply because i don’t want to upset anyone
i’m really sorry i couldn’t focus on the positive. especially with all the insane n incredible amount of love n support i’ve received for my works. i’ve said this time n time again but when i started posting kickoff to ao3 back in january of this year, i had NO idea it would be this loved by so many people…i was like ok can’t wait to interact w these four readers for the rest of the year…and then BAM, i find myself fully sobbing after each chapter update because i was so touched by all the sweet n kind words. i don’t want this decision to come off in a way that makes it seems like i don’t love u guys sm or that i’m ungrateful — i’ve always taken pride in respecting my audience. even for a simple hobby, i try to put effort into my works. i proofread, i plan out, i edit in length, all because i am, well, for one, i’m a bit of a perfectionist LOL but also i think there’s a great deal of honor in respecting an audience that gives you their time n attention
but i already am struggling in my life to focus on the positive. medicine has been such an incredibly daunting career to pursue, i’m honestly only doing slightly better now because i’m just filled with relief that i got into med school to begin with lol it’s still surreal to me, so the stress has been kinda manageable so far on that sense of optimism, but dear god the shit i went through to get here…and the shit i know i still face ahead of me. i spend all of my serotonin on trying to stay positive in the face of my responsibilities. so all of this time i’ve spent trying to stay positive for the sake of my stories too has just left me with so much exhaustion — i just don’t see why posting my works should be anything less than fun and endlessly exciting when it’s a hobby that’s supposed to help me thru the actual brunt of life.
anyways, i’m getting a little carried away here. all this to say, i just need to take time away from posting my works so i can see writing as something for myself n not for others again. i don’t want the thoughts swimming in my head to be thoughts of anxiety over people potentially criticizing me n my creative decisions. i want the thoughts in my head to once again be positive, excited, and nurturing towards my stories. i don’t see how i can accomplish that at this point unless i start writing for myself once more, and not for others
i still have a great deal of passion to write, which is why i haven’t formally taken down my works. i anticipate that i may be able to come back in the future to share my writing again. but as of right now, i just want to heal the relationship that i have with this hobby, and i feel like that’s gotta happen in private (lmfao it sounds like im tryna freak my writing)
i’m sorry that i turned off my asks n my replies, i know so many of u care about me n want to support me n i just am beyond thankful. i don’t anticipate this is a forever goodbye, but i do just need some time rn away from all of this.
hope u all have a happy time!! and take care of yourselves :) much love
- ellie
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imjustasimpxd · 3 months ago
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Something Old, Something New | Series Masterlist
➬ Ken Sato x Fem Reader
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Genre : Romance, Drama, slight enemies to lovers
Summary : At first glance, Ken Sato seemed to have it all. With money, fame, and success surrounding his name, there was nothing he couldn’t get his hands on. They say money can buy happiness. That may be true to an extent, however, can money buy forgiveness? Unfortunately for Ken, no amount of money and influence can turn back time and change the past. No amount of bribery can erase the fact that he had chosen to abandon his wife in favor of pursuing his baseball career. That awful decision he made took place five years ago, when he was just starting out as a professional athlete. But now that he’s matured and had time to reflect on his actions, can he hope for a chance to rekindle his marriage? Or should he accept defeat and live with the consequences of letting the only woman he’s ever truly loved slip away from him?
Fic Warnings : abandonment, angst, forced proximity, mentions of cheating and infidelity, tense relationships
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Chapters :
One |
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Series Status : In progress
This fic, and everything else I've written on my blog, is mine and only mine. I work very hard on everything I write so do not, under any circumstances, modify, copy, or steal my work.
Yes, there is a taglist for this series, so if anyone wants to be added to it please let me know in the comments below.
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General Masterlist | Miscellaneous Masterlist | Blog Home |
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⚠️Attention⚠️people on my tag lists⚠️ - it takes a LONG TIME for me to tag all of you, so please, out of courtesy of me, leave a comment or reblog at the very least since I'm taking the time to tag you <3
Keep in mind that commenting to tell me what you liked, what you don’t, how I can improve, and any suggestions you have, helps me A LOT more than simply liking my posts. If you’ve had the time to read my story, how much longer does it take to leave me some feedback on it? :)
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alwaysthefool · 21 hours ago
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Opposite (x Zayne)
Warnings: face dysmorphia, envy, jealousy, insecurity
Tags: Angst (no comfort), f!reader (pro trans blog), MC Reader
Synopsis: You see Zayne with another girl, and let your insecurities get the better of you.
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You thought it’d be a wonderful day. There was definitely something going on between the two of you, something unspoken, and on the last trip, Zayne kissed you. You two did not address it or follow through where you left off, but there were sparks and a certain tension, always on the brink of exploding into something more.
That day, you were going to ask him about it, but at the bakery where you’d usually find him on sunny afternoons having a snack, someone else was next to him. An intern, by the looks of it. The most beautiful girl you’d ever seen. Tall, perfect skin, large eyes, sweeter voice, prettier. Pretty and smart in ways you’d never be.
Prettier, smarter.
And he was smiling. Zayne, usually stoic, was laughing at a joke she’d made. Prettier, smarter, and funny. You never felt your heart beat faster, the lump in your throat growing, and you realised the only way out for you was literally, out of the bakery. You quietly went back, breathing slowly to control your emotions. Right, why would Zayne be with you? He had better options.
You almost laughed when you finally reached your apartment. Stupid, stupid girl. You cursed yourself internally. Before you could think about anything else, you heard your phone buzz. Looking at it, it was a text from Zayne. You stupidly saved his number with emojis on your phone.
‘Don’t forget your check-up appointment tomorrow.’
Of course, that’s all he was to you. A doctor. You replied to him with a thumbs-up emoji, immediately changing his contact name to Dr. Zayne, and removing your display picture. You felt awful, insignificant, ugly. You did not want to look in the mirror. You were embarrassed.
Why did he kiss you in the first place? Were you overthinking? Was that girl why he never brought up the time he kissed you?
You sighed, calming yourself down. This kind of pain wasn’t good for the heart. You changed into your pajamas, trying to distract yourself with a movie, some popcorn, and eventually, a drink. Then two. Then three. Then as many as it took to fall asleep.
You woke up groggy, irritated, and still remembering that girl’s face, that doctor you had a crush on, and the fact you’d see them in the hospital in a few hours. You took a shower, put on some makeup, removed the makeup considering you were just going to get a checkup, looked up if it’s acceptable to wear makeup to a hospital on the internet, and then settled with a lip tint and concealer.
Maybe you should’ve called Tara to come along with you for moral support, and you could go out for drinks later, but you decided against it considering Grayson and Yvonne would be there to cheer you up.
It hurt when you saw them at the hospital chatting with that intern. It was about Zayne, something related to a surgery going well. You bowed your head, praying they wouldn’t notice you, as you almost tip-toed to Zayne’s office.
“[Name]!” Yvonne called, waving. You took a deep breath and forced a smile back, approaching the three. Upon getting a closer look of the intern, you realised she had no blemishes, no scars, and her hands were perfectly manicured. She looked like one of those models that you convinced yourself had airbrushed editing on magazine pages. Guess people like that really did exist.
“Uh, something on my face?” She asked, and you realised you were staring.
You looked away, embarrassed. “Nothing, sorry.”
“This is Jo, Zayne’s new intern.” Grayson spoke, and you bit your lip as you nodded at her. “He usually doesn’t take any, but he selected her himself seeing how brilliant her research was.”
You just smiled and nodded, stupidly, to the point you were sure it was becoming weird.
“Uh, you’re here for the checkup, right? Let me take you to him.” She looked at her notepad, and gestured you to Zayne’s office. You didn’t wave a bye to your friends, just keeping your head down. Usually, you’d hop to Zayne’s room like it was your own, opening the door with a smile, but this time the door was opened for you, and you couldn’t meet his eyes.
It felt like the universe was mocking you, and this was something you’d have to bear.
“Dr. Zayne.” She was the one greeting him this time.
You walked over to Zayne, sitting on the examination chair next to him. You didn’t meet his eyes, fiddling with the metal surface of your chair instead. Zayne would’ve immediately noticed. Maybe he did.
“Jo, you can leave.”
You watched her confused expression from the corner of your eye, and then her perfect figure take a bow and leave.
“Eyes on me.”
You couldn’t. You couldn’t raise your eyes to look at him, even though it was probably for the checkup. Zayne put two fingers under your chin, and forced you to look up, a small torch in his other hand.
“You’re mad at me.” He said, checking your eyes, his hand caressing your cheek. You didn’t respond, turning around as usual for his stethoscope to measure your heart rate. Zayne sighed, placing his stethoscope on your spine as you took a deep, shaky breath.
“Can you tell me what I did?” He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you on to his lap, breathing in your scent. You wanted to hold him back, nuzzle him, something, but the insecurity, a demon inside of you, wouldn’t let you.
“If you do this again, I’m switching doctors.” You pulled yourself away from him, irritated, standing up. Zayne also looked annoyed, and hurt. Were you the one being petty here? You didn’t think about it.
“Check-up’s done, I’m leaving.”
“It’s actually not.” Zayne spoke firmly, definitely annoyed. You sat back down next to him, looking at him with defiant eyes.
He looked down at his notepad. “Are you experiencing any odd symptoms?”
Heartbreak, jealousy, agonising mental pain. “No.”
“Have you been eating well?”
You frowned. You hadn’t eaten since yesterday, and you didn’t realise it until now, but you lied. “Yeah.”
“Then why did I hear your stomach growl?”
Your cheeks reddened. Zayne was a doctor after all, nothing got past him. He gave you a candy from his coat pocket. “Let’s get lunch after my shift is over.”
You quietly nibbled on the candy, handing the wrapper back to him, which made him smile. “My princess.”
“If I’m your princess, why did I see you at that bakery with some other girl yesterday?” You looked down, embarrassed now, realising you were mad over such a small thing.
Zayne held your face gently, making you look up at him. “That’s what this is about? Jo?”
You pulled away from him. “Not just her, but also, you kissed me, and never addressed it again. I feel like I’m a candy wrapper to you, someone to discard after use.”
“That’s-“ Zayne’s voice was hesitant. You didn’t meet his eyes and he didn’t make you. “I… I’m sorry, I was busy after that. I didn’t have the time to call you over, or-“
“But you had the time to go to a bakery with your intern?”
Zayne’s expression turned cross. You supposed he was done with you too. “She called me there, because she saw I was overworking myself. Am I not allowed that much?”
You bit your lip. Prettier, smarter, funny, and kinder. “I’m sorry.” You managed. That was all you had to say. You let your insecurities get the better of you, but… was that hard to understand for Zayne? Tears fell from your eyes but you didn’t feel like you were going to cry. “I, um… I should go.”
“No, please-“ Zayne tried, reaching his hand out for you but you stood up. You didn’t want to look at him, at anyone at the hospital. You did not want to go home, you did not want to be anywhere, you did not want to exist as a person in the universe. An insecure, ugly person, who hurt the people around them. It hurt like knives that started inside your heart and prodded their way outwards, hurting you most of all, it-
“I’ll take the day off.” You did not realise when Zayne reached next to you by the door, his large hand holding it close. “I’ll make time for you. Please, let me fix this.”
“It’s not your fault, Zayne.” You put your hand on the door handle, red eyes meeting his exasperated ones, as you spoke what needed to be said. “I just think we aren’t right for each other.”
You could see the emotion fall from his face, his hand leaving the door. You walked out, grateful that at least Yvonne and Grayson weren’t eavesdropping right outside this time. Jo wasn’t too far away, though, and she noticed your teary face. “Is everything okay?” She asked, concerned. That hurt worse than if she would’ve just ignored it, because this girl in front of you was blameless. You smiled at her, lying that it was just allergies, hoping she’d take good care of Zayne in your place.
—x—
Part 2 fixing things, anyone?
106 notes · View notes
kckt88 · 2 months ago
Text
A Heartbeat Between Us VII
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Summary:
Y.N and Aemond settle into the joy of parenthood until the reapperance of an ex causes trouble between them.
Warning(s): Angst, Drama, Fluff, Tension, Small Time Skips, Swearing, Idiocy, Miscommunication, Misunderstanding, Jealousy, Mild Violence, Kissing, Smut, P in V.
AEMOND x Y.N
Word Count:
A.N - Most of the story is already written, as I start a new job on Saturday :-)
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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.
Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated, do not copy/post to other sights without my permission.
Tag List - @jasminecosmic99 @kaelatargaryen @yesterdayfeelings-blog @immyowndefender @0eessirk8 @killua2dot0 @msassenach @xcharlottemikaelsonx @moonnicole @toodlesxcuddles @mamawiggers1980 @minttea07 @nommingonfood
Y.N. let out a deep sigh of relief as she stepped into the familiar space of the penthouse, the soft lighting and comfortable surroundings immediately making her feel at ease.
“It feels good to be home,” she said, smiling as she gently laid Jack in his moses basket.
Aemond came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.
Together, they gazed down at their son.
“He’s perfect, isn’t he?” Y.N. whispered, the awe in her voice unmistakable.
Aemond hummed in agreement, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “He really is,” he said softly, his voice filled with tenderness.
Their moment of quiet bliss was quickly shattered by the sound of the front door swinging open. Aegon burst in with their suitcase, dumping it carelessly in the hallway.
Aemond shot him a glare. “Could you keep it down?”
But before Aegon could reply, Daeron appeared in the doorway, holding up a pizza box with a grin. “Didn’t think you’d be up for cooking, so I figured pizza would be ok”
Aemond glanced at Y.N., silently asking if she was okay with this sudden invasion. Y.N, smiling despite her tiredness, nodded.
“The more the merrier,” she said, making Daeron grin even wider.
“Impromptu game night!” Aegon cheered, clearly excited by the idea.
Aemond leaned in close to Y.N. and whispered, “I can tell them to leave if it’s too much.”
Y.N. shook her head. “No, it’s fine. Let them stay.”
The four of them gathered around the dining table, the pizza quickly being passed around. Y.N. laughed as Daeron recounted Aegon’s failed attempt to ask Ellyn Baratheon out on a date.
“I just don’t know what her problem is,” Aegon complained, dramatically throwing his hands up.
Aemond scoffed. “You slept with both of her sisters.”
Aegon waved him off. “Actually, that was you.”
Y.N. choked on her water, her eyes wide in surprise.
Aemond’s cheeks flushed pink as he cleared his throat, avoiding her gaze. “I-went through a bit of a phase before I got with Alys.”
Aegon smirked, enjoying his brother’s embarrassment. “Yeah, it’s called being a slut.”
Aemond shot him a look. “We don’t need to be talking about this in front of the mother of my son.”
“Oh no, we do,” Y.N. chimed in, her amusement clear.
Aegon leaned back in his chair, clearly relishing the chance to tell tales.
“So, this was when you were off at your artsy college,” he said to Y.N., “Aemond went through his little phase. He slept with Maris and Floris Baratheon in the same week and then ghosted them both. After that, there was some Tully girl, a Massey chick, and a bunch of randoms from clubs before he got with Alys.”
Aemond clenched his jaw. “That’s enough, Aegon.”
But Aegon wasn’t finished. “What about you, Y.N.? What’s your dating history?”
Y.N. raised an eyebrow at the question but answered easily. “I dated Cregan.”
“Cregan Stark?” Daeron asked, his eyes wide with surprise.
“Yeah, he was my first boyfriend,” Y.N. said with a smile. “After him, I dated Davos Blackwood for a while, then I was single for a bit, then got involved with Jacaerys-and then Aemond.”
Aegon took a long sip of his beer, eyes gleaming with curiosity. “Interesting,” he mused.
Y.N. turned to Daeron. “How do you know Cregan?”
Daeron shrugged casually. “Met him a few times when I had a brief thing with his sister.”
Y.N. laughed. “Sara? Yeah, she had a thing with Jace too.”
Aemond, sensing the conversation getting too personal, reached for Y.N.’s hand. “You okay?” he asked softly.
Y.N. smiled at him, squeezing his hand. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be? Everyone has a past.”
Before Aemond could respond, the sound of Jack’s cries filled the room. Y.N. stood, giving Aemond a quick peck on the cheek.
“I’ll go feed and change him.”
As soon as Y.N picked up Jack and left the room, Aemond turned to Aegon, glaring. “You didn’t need to tell her all that, you fucking idiot.”
Aegon shrugged, unfazed by his brother’s anger. “She asked.”
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Y.N. returned to the room after tending to Jack, her movements a bit slower than usual, but her smile as bright as ever. She rejoined the group at the table, where the impromptu poker game was in full swing.
They played a few rounds, the banter light and playful, with Aegon predictably losing most hands while Daeron remained surprisingly good at keeping a poker face.
As the game went on, Aemond noticed Y.N. fidgeting in her seat, shifting uncomfortably every few minutes.
Concern furrowed his brow as he glanced over at her. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly, his voice filled with genuine care.
Y.N. put her cards down and sighed softly. “I think I’m going to go for a warm bath. I’m a bit sore-you know-down there.” Her cheeks tinged pink as she admitted it, the awkwardness of postpartum recovery suddenly apparent.
Aemond, ever attentive, leaned in closer. “Do you want one of the pads I put in the freezer?”
Aegon wrinkled his nose in exaggerated disgust. “You have what in the freezer?”
Aemond rolled his eye, unbothered by his brother’s antics. “I read it in one of the baby books. Putting pads in the freezer helps with the soreness after giving birth. It’s supposed to be soothing.”
Y.N. smiled at Aemond's thoughtfulness. “I’ll just go have a bath for now, but could you bring me one when I shout for you?”
Aemond nodded. “Of course, I’ll also bring you painkillers if you need them-”
As she made her way to the bathroom, Daeron looked genuinely surprised. “I honestly didn’t know that.”
Aegon, predictably, shuddered in his chair. “And I don’t want to know that.”
Aemond shot him a pointed look. “No one’s forcing you to stay.”
Aegon leaned back in his chair, folding his arms stubbornly. “I’m not leaving until I win at least one game.”
Aemond smirked, clearly unfazed. “Good luck with that.”
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Almost eight weeks after Jack's birth, living with Aemond had quickly become intolerable for Y.N., not because of his behaviour, but because she couldn’t ignore how much she craved him.
Every day, it felt like a battle to keep her hands off him, and her frustration only grew. His tailored suits drove her mad with desire, and the sight of him in sweatpants while working out? It was unbearable.
But the worst part was lying in bed beside him, feeling the heat of his body, and his hard cock pressed up against her in the mornings.
She couldn’t take it any longer. Tonight, she decided, she would act.
After bathing and feeding Jack, she cooked Aemond his favourite meal, dressing in something far less comfortable and far more revealing—a tight black dress that hugged her curves in all the right places.
The plan was simple: seduce him, and finally tell him that she was in love with him.
Just as she was setting the roasted lamb on the table, she heard the sound of Aemond’s keys in the door.
When he walked in, his eye widened, stunned by both the smell of the delicious meal and the sight of Y.N. in the dress.
His gaze lingered on her long, smooth legs, the way the fabric clung to her figure, and—oh gods—her breasts.
He swallowed hard, feeling his body react immediately, and he was sure his mouth was watering for more than just the lamb.
“Hi,” Y.N. greeted him with a breathy hello. “Come sit down. Dinner’s ready.”
Aemond, still dazed, shrugged off his jacket and hung it up before taking a seat at the table. The lamb, mashed potatoes, vegetables, and gravy were all perfectly laid out before him—his favourite meal, no less.
As Y.N. poured him a glass of wine and filled her own with orange juice, he couldn’t help but watch her every move, completely entranced by her appearance.
Y.N. sat beside him and gestured toward the food. “Eat.”
He didn’t need to be told twice—he was starving. As Y.N. slowly picked at her food, Aemond practically inhaled his, hardly taking a breath between bites.
He’d barely finished his plate when Y.N. finally spoke up, a little more serious.
“I’ve been thinking about going back to work soon,” she said softly, taking a sip of her drink. “We’ll need to figure out what’s happening with Jack. I can manage when I work from home, but when I’m at the bookstore-”
Aemond nodded between mouthfuls, his attention split between his plate and her words. “Sure, we could ask my mother to help or—Aegon, maybe? He doesn’t work.”
Y.N. took a deep breath.
Now or never.
“Aemond, I wanted to talk about—"
But before she could finish, his phone rang, cutting through the tension in the air.
Aemond quickly stood, glancing apologetically at her. “I’ll get it. Don’t want to wake Jack.”
He left the room, and Y.N. could only sit in frustration, the moment she had been building up to slipping through her fingers.
When he returned a few minutes later, his expression was odd, distant.
“Who was that?” she asked, trying to keep her tone neutral.
Aemond hesitated for a beat too long. “It was Alys.”
Y.N.’s heart sank. “What did she want?”
“She’s in town-wanted to know if I fancied meeting up.”
Y.N. rose to her feet, struggling to keep her voice calm. “I guess you should, then.”
Aemond’s brow furrowed. “I don’t have to go.”
“I’m not your keeper, Aemond,” she said, her tone colder than she intended. “You can do whatever you like.”
Without waiting for a response, she began clearing the plates from the table, stacking them into the dishwasher with a rigid, practiced efficiency.
Her mind whirled, frustration mounting. Before he could say anything else, Y.N. excused herself, claiming she needed to check on Jack.
That night, she didn’t return to their shared bed. Instead, she quietly slipped into the spare room, leaving Aemond alone to grapple with what had just happened.
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The next morning, Aemond rose early, careful not to disturb Y.N. or Jack as he prepared for work. Before leaving, he quietly peeked into Jack’s room.
The baby was nestled peacefully in his blankets, his small chest rising and falling with each breath. Aemond couldn't help but smile softly at the sight.
Then, he made his way to check on Y.N., who was still asleep, her hair spread across the pillow. He stood there for a moment, torn between the warmth of his home and the unresolved tension from the night before.
With a deep sigh, he left for work.
As he sat at his desk that morning, Aemond couldn’t stop thinking about Alys.
Part of him believed that he owed her closure, or at least an explanation. He wasn’t a complete arse.
After deliberating for hours, he decided he would meet her for dinner—just to talk.
Nothing more. He picked up his phone and called her. She answered almost immediately, her voice smooth and familiar.
They arranged to meet at a local restaurant for dinner at 6 p.m.
When he arrived home later that afternoon, ready to tell Y.N. about his plans, he found the penthouse empty.
A scribbled note on the counter caught his eye: Gone to spend the day with Helaena.
Aemond frowned, a wave of unease settling over him. After a quick shower and shave, he dressed in one of his best suits, fixing his tie in front of the mirror, mentally preparing for the dinner ahead.
Just as he stepped into the living room, adjusting his cufflinks, he stopped in his tracks. There, on the sofa, was Y.N., back from her day out, quietly breastfeeding Jack.
Aemond hadn’t even heard her come in. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of her—tender, beautiful, motherly. He walked over and pressed a gentle kiss to Jack’s forehead.
Y.N. glanced up from her son, her eyes lingering on Aemond’s suit. “Where are you going?” she asked, her tone neutral but her eyes wary.
Aemond hesitated, then took a deep breath. “I’m meeting Alys for dinner.”
Y.N. didn't look at him as she burped Jack, her voice soft but strained. “That sounds nice.”
Aemond noticed the sheen of tears gathering in her eyes, and guilt tugged at his chest. “I can stay,” he offered quietly, “If you want me to.”
The sadness on Y.N.’s face suddenly turned sharp, her words snapping out like a whip. “Why would I want you to stay?”
Aemond sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he grabbed his phone and wallet from the table. “Fine,” he muttered. “I won’t be gone long. Call me if you need anything.”
Y.N. looked up, her expression hardened as she clutched Jack tighter to her chest. “What, and interrupt your date with your grandma? No thanks.”
Aemond stiffened. “It’s not a date.”
Y.N. shrugged, her voice laced with sarcasm. “Doesn’t matter. It’s none of my business anyway. Not like I’m anyone important.”
Without another word, she turned on her heel, walking off to Jack’s room to settle him into his cot.
She heard the front door open and close with a soft click, the sound of Aemond leaving twisting something deep inside her.
But instead of letting the sadness linger, Y.N. steeled herself.
With a deep breath, she pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts until she found Aegon’s name. She hit call, and after just a couple of rings, his familiar voice greeted her on the other end.
"Hey, you busy?" she asked, trying to keep her voice light.
“For you? Never,” Aegon replied with a chuckle. “What’s up?”
“I need some company,” Y.N. said, glancing at Jack’s sleeping form in the cot. “Think you can come over?”
“I’ll be there in ten.”
After hanging up the phone, Y.N. smiled to herself, feeling a strange sense of determination settle over her.
If Aemond wanted to play games, fine. She could play too.
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Aemond arrived at the restaurant, scanning the elegant room until he spotted Alys already waiting for him.
Dressed in a striking red dress, she stood as he approached, greeting him with a kiss on the cheek.
“You look good,” she said, her red lips curving into a familiar smile.
“Thanks,” Aemond replied, pulling out his chair and sitting across from her. The tension in his shoulders was unmistakable, though he tried to relax as they began their conversation.
“How’s work?” Alys asked, leaning in slightly.
Aemond sighed. “It’s been a bit hectic. I took some time off when Jack was born, and now Rhaenyra’s gone off on holiday with her uncle.” He emphasized the last word with a slight sneer.
Alys chuckled. “He’s your uncle too.”
Aemond shrugged, dismissing the thought. They ordered an expensive bottle of wine, and after the waiter poured them each a glass, Alys surprised him by raising hers.
“To your son,” she toasted.
Aemond smiled, raising his glass. “To Jack.”
They clinked glasses, and Alys watched him as she sipped her wine. “What’s it like being a father?” she asked, a soft curiosity in her tone.
Aemond's expression softened, his guard briefly dropping. “It’s tiring, but I love it. He’s-everything.”
He reached for his phone, unlocking it and eagerly showing her the countless photos, he had taken of Jack—sleeping, yawning, bundled in tiny blankets.
Alys smiled as she looked at the images. “He’s beautiful. Looks a lot like you.”
Aemond nodded, his pride showing before he tucked the phone away.
They moved into casual conversation as Alys mentioned her future plans. “I’ve been thinking about starting my own business in America,” she said, swirling her wine glass. “I’m grateful to Larys for all he’s done, but I think I’m ready to go out on my own. I’m flying out this weekend to look at properties.”
Aemond nodded. “If anyone can do it, you can.”
As the food arrived, Alys glanced at Aemond before asking, “How is Y.N?”
“Oh, she’s good, she’s been talking about going back to work-” replied Aemond.
“Already. Isn’t Jack a little young?” asked Alys taking a sip of wine.
“She can work from home if she wants to-but she enjoys being at the bookstore, so I think I’ll ask Aegon if he’ll watch Jack if Y.N does go back to Howlett’s” replied Aemond.
“You trust Aegon with your son?”
“Yes, actually I do-even though he’s a momentous pain in my arse, he adores Jack and he’s really good with him, I was actually thinking of asking him to be godfather” said Aemond.
“Does Y.N get on with him? as I recall he didn’t like me very much” muttered Alys.
“Yeah, they get on-a little too well sometimes, although I’m sure Aegon just does it deliberately to wind me up” muttered Aemond.
“Oh-so are you and Y.N in a relationship now then?”
Aemond paused, cutting into his meal before responding. “Not exactly. But there is-something between us.”
Alys raised an eyebrow, her voice lowering. “Do you love her?”
Aemond didn’t hesitate. “Yes. I love her”
The simple admission hung in the air, leaving Alys momentarily silent.
They ate in relative quiet for a few minutes before Alys spoke again, her voice softer now. “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, I know it can’t have been an easy decision to make”
“No-I mean it’s ok. I just don’t want there to be any bad feelings. Were both adults, right?”
“Yes, we are.” said Alys as she took a small sip of wine.
“I’m glad-” replied Aemond as he took out his phone and sending a quick text to Y.N who responded by sending him a picture of Jack fast asleep all snuggled up in his blanket.
“Seeing you today has made me realise how much I’ve missed you, Aemond. These past few months, it’s been-different without you” whispered Alys.
Aemond put his phone back in his pocket and shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking.
He tried to steer it back to something safer, talking about work, but Alys’s mind was elsewhere.
As he spoke, she watched him, thinking about how much she had missed the attention she once received when she was with him.
His sharp features and lithe body, and the looks of envy she would receive from other women for being the one on Aemond’s arm had been a delicious bonus.
They finished their meal, and ever the gentleman, Aemond helped Alys with her coat.
When his fingers accidentally brushed her skin, she shivered. The memories of their time together rushed back—and the nights they spent tangled in sheets.
She missed that, too. Especially with him. The others she had been with since their break up had failed to measure up to Aemond’s prowess in the bedroom.
As they walked toward her car, Alys glanced up at him. “I had a good time. Maybe when I get back from America, we could do this again?”
Aemond gave a noncommittal smile. “Yeah, maybe.”
He bid her farewell, watching as she drove away. Once Alys was out of sight, Aemond let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.
He looked at his watch to check the time before deciding to make a quick stop at the bakery around the corner.
Inside, he picked up a lemon love cake—Y.N.’s favourite. He knew she had been upset with him for meeting Alys, and he hoped this small gesture would help smooth things over.
Cake in hand, he walked back to his car, eager to get home and make amends.
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Aemond arrived home, the click of the door announcing his return. The first thing he noticed was the unmistakable scent of fried chicken.
His eye immediately landed on the KFC buckets scattered on the kitchen counter. Glancing towards the living room, he saw Aegon sprawled out on the sofa, a half-empty beer in his hand, and the movie Lake Placid playing on the TV.
“I see we have a visitor,” Aemond said dryly, tossing the box containing the lemon love cake onto the counter.
It landed with a dull thud, and he realized with a sinking feeling that this was Y.N.’s way of getting back at him for going to dinner with Alys.
Y.N., lounging on the armchair as she breast fed Jack, gave him a casual shrug before turning her attention back to the film, seemingly unbothered.
Aegon stood up from the sofa, making his way over to Aemond. “So-Y.N. told me you’re dating Alys again. Please tell me that isn’t true.”
Aemond shot him a look of disgust. “Unlike you, Aegon, I can actually keep it in my pants.”
Aegon let out a sharp laugh. “Errr, remind me again how Y.N. got pregnant? Because she might’ve been single, but you sure as shit weren’t. So don’t try that righteous act with me, little brother.”
Aemond’s jaw clenched. He couldn’t argue back because, on some level, Aegon was right. His past decisions had been messy, reckless even.
But it didn’t make this any easier to swallow. He unbuttoned his jacket, trying to steady his breathing.
Aegon took a long swig from his beer and shook his head. “You’re an idiot, you know that? Alys only contacted you because she’s after something. The woman’s a snake, and it’s about time you realized that.”
Aemond’s patience was thinning, the tension in the room palpable. “Thanks for the advice,” he muttered, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it over a chair. “It’s been noted. Now get out—and don’t let the door hit you on your way out.”
Before Aegon could respond, Y.N. called out Aemond’s name, her voice soft yet filled with unspoken hurt.
But Aemond, still seething, cut her off sharply. “Don’t. We’ll discuss this later.”
Aegon sighed and glanced between them before walking over to Y.N. “Take care, okay?” he said softly, giving her a warm smile before making his way toward the door.
She waved sadly in response, her eyes lingering on him as he left.
Once Aegon was gone, Y.N. wordlessly turned off the film, her earlier playful mood vanishing. She stood up, holding Jack close as she retreated to her room, leaving Aemond standing alone in the kitchen.
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The next morning, the tension between Aemond and Y.N. was unbearable, a heavy silence that weighed down every moment.
As Aemond sat at the kitchen table, he watched Y.N. breastfeeding Jack on the sofa, her focus entirely on their son. His anger simmered just beneath the surface, and he couldn't hold it in any longer.
"I'm glad you get on with my brother," he said, his voice tight, "-But does he have to come over when I'm not here?"
Y.N. looked up, confusion crossing her face. "I don't understand what the big deal is."
After Jack finished feeding, Aemond took him from Y.N., rubbing his back until a small burp escaped.
He gently placed Jack in his bouncy chair, the little boy gurgling happily. Y.N., her eyes weary, got up to get dressed. But before she could leave the room, Aemond was suddenly looming over her.
"You know," he said quietly, though his voice was laced with intensity, "-It would sincerely piss me off if you started dating my brother."
Y.N. wrinkled her nose, taken aback. "Dating Aegon? I don’t see him that way, Aemond. He's nothing more than a friend."
"Good," Aemond muttered as Y.N. turned and walked away from him, leaving him standing in the kitchen, a mixture of frustration and relief swirling in his chest.
Days passed, and they both avoided the real issue between them. They were cordial when it came to taking care of Jack—splitting the responsibilities, making sure their son was always cared for—but their interactions were minimal.
The tension between them only seemed to grow with every word left unsaid.
Nights were the worst. They didn’t share the same bed anymore, and the absence of Y.N. beside him was gnawing at Aemond’s heart.
He would lie awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking of all the moments he’d held her close and simply listened to the sound of her breathing.
One night, while Aemond was sitting in bed with a book, the silence of the room only amplified by his lonely thoughts, he saw Y.N. hovering by the door.
She stood there, lingering, like she had something on her mind, something important to say. Aemond’s heart leapt in his chest, his breath catching as he waited for her to speak.
But then, she hesitated, her eyes flickering with doubt. And just like that, whatever courage she’d gathered seemed to vanish. She turned and walked back to her own room.
Aemond let out a long breath, setting down his book and pressing his palms into his eyes. He let out a muffled scream into his pillow, frustration and longing coursing through him.
He missed her—missed the warmth of her beside him, the softness of her touch. He wanted her back in his bed, back in his life the way she had been before. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and never let her go.
But now, they were both trapped in this limbo, unwilling or unable to break through the wall that had built up between them.
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Aemond carefully changed Jack’s nappy, talking to his son in soft murmurs as he worked. After ensuring everything was secure, he lifted Jack onto his shoulder, rubbing his back in soothing circles. The baby let out a small burp, and Aemond smiled, feeling a surge of affection as Jack relaxed against him.
Just then, Y.N. emerged from her bedroom, dressed nicely with her hair and makeup done. Aemond looked up, momentarily taken aback by how beautiful she looked.
“Where are you going?” he asked, trying to keep his tone casual.
Y.N. adjusted her handbag. “The museum called. They have another piece they want restored. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I’ve pumped enough breast milk for Jack. You just need to heat it up.”
Aemond nodded, his breath catching in his throat when Y.N. leaned over him to kiss Jack on the top of his head.
She lingered for a moment, then pressed a soft kiss to Aemond’s cheek. The simple gesture sent warmth through him, and he found himself struggling for words.
As she straightened up and headed for the door, Aemond called out, “Wait.”
She turned, raising an eyebrow. He tossed her his car keys. “Take my car. It’ll be easier for you.”
Y.N. smiled, a brief but genuine expression of gratitude, before she turned and left the penthouse.
Aemond stood there for a moment, holding Jack and watching the door close behind her.
Not long after she left, there was a knock at the door. Aemond, holding Jack in the crook of his arm, opened it to find Alys standing on the threshold.
She was dressed in her usual sharp attire, and Aemond frowned in surprise.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his tone more curt than he intended.
Alys smiled, though it didn’t reach her eyes. “I was hoping to have a word with you.”
Aemond hesitated, glancing down at Jack, but against his better judgment, he stepped aside and let her in.
Alys removed her coat, her eyes scanning the penthouse. It looked different from the last time she’d been there—baby accessories scattered across the living room, toys tucked into corners, and the once pristine reading area replaced by Y.N.'s workbench.
“Y.N. is a restoration artist,” Aemond explained, noting her gaze. “Remember I said she works from home sometimes.”
Alys nodded slowly, absorbing the information. “So, you two live together?” she asked, though it was more of a statement than a question.
“We have a child,” Aemond replied, his tone matter-of-fact. “Why wouldn’t we?”
Alys’s lips curled slightly. “Is Y.N. home right now?”
“No,” Aemond said, “-She’s got a meeting at the museum. So, it’s just me and Jack”
At the mention of Jack, Alys's eyes softened as she asked, “Can I hold him?”
Aemond hesitated for a second before nodding. He carefully placed Jack in her arms.
Alys cooed at the baby, her voice a bit too sweet for Aemond's liking. "Oh, Aemond, he’s so precious.”
But as if on cue, Jack suddenly threw up on her, causing Alys to shriek in surprise.
Immediately, Jack began to cry, and Aemond took him back, cradling him in his arms and gently rocking him.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he murmured, rubbing Jack’s back until the crying subsided.
Alys, meanwhile, stood awkwardly with the mess on her clothes.
Aemond handed her a towel with a small, apologetic smile. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s not his fault,” Alys muttered, dabbing at the sick on her dress as best she could.
Aemond quickly changed Jack into fresh clothes and placed him in his bouncy chair, where the baby gurgled happily.
 “You’re a good father,” Alys remarked as she sat down.
“I try,” Aemond replied, still feeling the remnants of frustration from her sudden appearance. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“A coffee would be nice,” Alys said with a smile.
Aemond made her a coffee and sat across from her once she had the cup in hand. “So, what did you want to discuss?”
Alys took a sip of her drink before explaining, “I’ve found a couple of properties, both residential and commercial, but I’m having a little trouble securing contacts for my business. I was wondering if you could help me out, just to get started.”
Aemond leaned back in his chair, his expression carefully neutral. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Alys raised an eyebrow. “Because of Y.N.?”
Aemond’s jaw tightened. “I don’t want to complicate matters. Things between us are-strained enough as it is.”
Alys leaned forward smiling, her tone soft but insistent. “It’s just business, Aemond. I’m not here to come between the two of you.”
Aemond considered her words for a moment. “Maybe I can recommend some clients, but I can’t get involved beyond that.”
Alys smiled, satisfied for the moment. “That would be more than enough. Thank you.”
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Aemond was on edge the moment Alys left. He paced around the penthouse, wondering how he could possibly tell Y.N. that Alys had been there.
He didn’t want to deceive her, but he knew she wouldn’t be happy once she found out. His thoughts raced as he bathed Jack, making sure he was fed, burped, and finally laid down in his cot.
The baby was swaddled in the soft blanket Helaena had gifted him, with the gentle melody of the dragon mobile filling the room.
Aemond whispered, "Goodnight," kissed his son's forehead, and quietly left, turning on the baby monitor before heading into the living room.
He sat there, nerves eating at him. Every sound made him jump, anticipating Y.N.'s return.
When she finally walked through the door an hour later, her arms laden with files and the brightest smile on her face, it only made Aemond feel worse.
“How was the meeting?” he asked, his voice betraying his tension.
Y.N. placed the files on her workbench, her smile widening. “It went brilliantly! They were so impressed with my work on the statue that they’ve asked me to restore two more pieces.”
“That’s amazing,” Aemond said, his tone genuine despite the knot in his stomach.
“It means I won’t be able to go back to working for Mr. Howlett, though. This commission takes priority, but it’ll make me some good money—and hopefully, lead to more business.”
Aemond nodded, trying to focus on her good news. “You should get business cards made. That way, anyone who wants to hire you can easily get in touch.”
Y.N. smiled, nodding. “That’s a good idea. I’ll look into that.” She paused and glanced around. “How’s Jack been?”
“He’s been fine,” Aemond replied, shifting in his seat. “He’s already down for the night.”
Y.N. seemed pleased. “Good. I think I fancy a drink. I’ll have to pump and dump, but I could really use a glass of wine.” She turned toward the kitchen, her mood light as she reached for a bottle of wine. “Want one?”
Aemond nodded, though his mind was preoccupied. He needed to tell her. The longer he waited, the worse it would be.
But just as he gathered the courage, Y.N. stopped mid-search for the corkscrew, her gaze falling on the sink. A cup sat there with red lipstick on the rim.
She straightened, her voice tight as she asked, “Who was here?”
Aemond swallowed hard. “Now, don’t get mad—”
“Why would I get mad?” she interrupted, already knowing where this was going.
“Alys popped by-”
The bottle of wine hit the counter with a thud as Y.N. turned to face him, her expression shifting from disbelief to fury.
She walked toward him; each step deliberate as Aemond instinctively took a step back.
“That woman was in here?” she demanded, her voice rising.
Aemond nodded, his throat dry. He barely had time to react when Y.N. reached down, pulled off one of her heels, and hurled it at him.
He dodged it, but the second heel came flying at him immediately after.
“How could you let that woman in here?” Y.N. shouted, her face flushed with anger. “You know how I feel about her, Aemond! How could you?!”
Aemond raised his hands, trying to calm her down, but it was no use.
She spotted a folded newspaper on the table, grabbed it, and began swatting him with it.
“You let her in our home, after everything?”
“She wasn’t here for long!” Aemond protested as he managed to snatch the newspaper from Y.N. “She held Jack and—”
“WHAT? You let her hold my son?” screamed Y.N in disbelief.
Aemond sighed in defeat as he handed the newspaper back to her and stood still as she resumed hitting him.
He didn’t try to stop her, knowing he deserved her anger.
After what felt like an eternity, she finally stopped, her breathing ragged as she threw the newspaper onto the floor.
“I’m done,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper but carrying the weight of finality. “I’m moving out. And I’m taking Jack.”
Aemond’s stomach dropped, his heart hammering in his chest. He stepped forward, his voice trembling with desperation. “Y.N., wait—”
“No,” she cut him off, her eyes filled with pain. “I can’t do this anymore. I won’t have her anywhere near my son.”
“She’s not a threat to you or to Jack,” Aemond said, his voice pleading. “It was just business. I—”
“It’s never just business with her, Aemond!” Y.N. snapped, her hands shaking as she brushed her hair out of her face. “She’s after something, and you’re obviously too blind to see it.”
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Aemond watched in stunned silence as Y.N stormed into her bedroom, yanking open her drawers and throwing clothes haphazardly into a suitcase.
Panic surged through him, and he followed her, hovering near the doorway, unsure of what to say.
His heart pounded in his chest as he tried to make sense of what was happening.
"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice strained.
Y.N. rounded on him, her eyes blazing with fury. "What does it look like, Aemond? I’m leaving. You can be free to be with your precious Alys now."
His heart dropped at her words. "I don’t want Alys," he said, his voice soft but firm.
Y.N. scoffed, not even bothering to look at him as she continued to shove her things into the suitcase.
"Could’ve fooled me," she muttered bitterly, her movements jerky as she threw more clothes into the pile.
Aemond moved closer, watching helplessly as she angrily packed her belongings. "Stop," he pleaded. "We can talk this out."
Y.N. froze for a moment, her back to him, before she whipped around, her face contorted with a mixture of anger and hurt.
"Talk this out?" she repeated, incredulous. "I’m not playing second fiddle to some old arse geriatric who should be on a register. I refuse to be disrespected like this."
Her words stung, but Aemond tried to keep his composure. "It’s not like that—" he started, but she cut him off.
"Not like that?" she scoffed, yanking another drawer open with so much force it nearly came off the track. "You let her saggy arse into our home, Aemond. You let her hold our son. And now you’re standing here, telling me it’s 'not like that?'"
He reached for her, trying to calm her down, but she brushed past him, throwing more clothes into the suitcase with furious abandon.
"Y.N., it’s late," he said, hoping to appeal to her reason. "You don’t have to do this now. Please, just—"
"I don’t care!" she snapped, her hands trembling as she continued packing. "I’ll get a hotel for the night if I have to. I just need to get out of here."
Aemond ran a hand through his hair, frustration and guilt swirling inside him. "I’m sorry," he said quietly. "I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t mean to hurt you."
“-Your apologise mean shit to me, because as soon as Alys whistles, her loyal dog will come,” said Y.N
“Do not speak to me in that way” snapped Aemond.
“I shall speak to you anyway I please-I’m not afraid of you”.
“Oh really” challenged Aemond, drawing himself to his full height.
“Yes-really, now do yourself a favour, and fuck off back to your grandma-” said Y.N.
“No” replied Aemond sternly.
“Fine. I will take Jack and leave you to your fucking old hag”.
“YOUR NOT FUCKING GOING ANYWHERE” snarled Aemond viciously.
“Going to stop me, are you? How exactly are you going to do that” balled Y.N.
“You will not leave me. You will not take my son” ordered Aemond his lip curling.
"I will and you will never see either of us again" threatened Y.N as she stood against Aemond, her body pressed against his.
"NO, YOU WON'T!"
“What are you going to do about it” snapped Y.N.
“You will not leave me” ordered Aemond.
“Oh, really and why not“ snapped Y.N
“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU-”
“What?” squeaked Y.N.
“I FUCKING LOVE YOU” balled Aemond as he lunged forward and pressed his lips to hers.
Y.N ripped herself away from Aemond.
Staring at him in disbelief as she put a hand to her mouth.
The resentment swirling in the pit of her stomach was now morphing into something else. The dormant fire of their relationship was roaring to life once more. Coursing through her body.
One kiss, that was all it took. She needed more. She needed him.
Suddenly Y.N wrapped her arms around Aemond's neck and drew him in back in.
Their kiss was rough and vicious. Consisting of teeth and tongue.
It had been so long since they’d shared any form of intimacy.
Aemond backed Y.N towards the bed, his hands tearing off her clothes until they were a ragged mess on the floor.
It was an eruption of frustration and passion. Hands everywhere, grabbing, scratching, and pulling at one another.
Aemond took a brief minute to yank off his t-shirt before he shoved Y.N on the bed, her back colliding with the mattress with a soft thump.
His body covered hers as he sucked and licked the delicate skin of her neck, leaving red marks in his wake.
Y.N moved her head to the side and moaned loudly as she felt Aemond’s teeth nipping at her skin.
Aemond pulled away to push down his sweatpants and boxers, freeing his hard cock.
Y.N lay back on the bed, her heart thumping wildly in her chest.
Aemond runs his hand up and down the length of himself, eyeing Y.N with an animalistic hunger, a smirk on his lips as she parted her legs for him.
As he guides himself to her entrance, she barely has a moment to adjust before he is quickly pressing his cock inside and stretching her, causing her to cry out.
“FUCKING TAKE IT!” spits Aemond, wrapping a hand around her throat while the other digs into her hip, pulling her aggressively against him to meet each one of his hard thrusts.
Y.N can’t think of anything but the intense pounding thrusts that greet her, causing her to wail and moan, tears form in her eyes, before running down her cheeks.
Aemond sets a brutal pace, his hips crashing into hers, his cock reaching deep inside her.
“YES! YES! AEMOND!” screams Y.N.
“FUCK!” shouts Aemond as he feels her cunny clenching around his cock.
As Aemond’s hips begins to falter in their movements, Aemond snakes a hand between their joined bodies, his long fingers expertly circling her pearl, causing heat to bloom across her stomach.
He presses down more firmly, making faster movements against her bud making her shudder, as a sudden warmth crashes over her in waves making her cry out.
“AEMOND!!” screams Y.N as her hands claw at his back.
“Fuck!! baby, that’s it come all over my cock!” growls Aemond as he moves to grab the headboard, bracing himself as he continues to pound his hips against hers.
“I love you. Aemond” gasped Y.N.
With a loud animalistic groan, Aemond stills, his cock pulsating as he spills his seed deep inside her.
TBC
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snootlestheangel · 1 year ago
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Hear Me Out
Guys, just, hear me out: YouTubers/Streamers AU for COD. There was a series of posts on @cod-dump 's blog about what games are banned for the boys and I've just been thinking about this but with Ghost, Gaz, Soap, and Alex where one of them is the actual streamer/gamer dude and the others just almost always play with him (maybe Roach if we went on the path that he's not actually mute, just kinda hates talking)
Retired or discharged for whatever reasons, the 141 are actually kinda happy to be living semi-normal lives. Maybe they're not all entirely civilian now, maybe Price has a position that doesn't require him to be on the field but he's still teaching/being a Captain.
But he's constantly telling the boys to find things to do to keep themselves happy. Especially Gaz and Soap, cause the military is kind of all they know, they've never had to be civilians really as adults.
Ghost is transitioning fine, and he's been a huge help for Soap, but Gaz is still kinda struggling. Eventually something happens and Alex is part of his life, but it's still not really what Gaz needs to feel "normal".
So Soap and Alex convince Gaz to start streaming/recording videos of their gaming sessions. It's a slow start, and Gaz is getting frustrated.
Until one time they play something silly but incredibly rage-inducing. It's a trending game because it's designed to pit you against your friends but is still silly nonetheless. There's one clip in particular that starts trending and becomes the reason Gaz's channel starts to take off.
The clip? Gaz yelling at Soap for something and Soap immediately just cursing him out in straight Scots only for Alex, an American, to scream into his mic as loud as humanly possible "WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER?!?!" after having been dead silent for the last 2 minutes. Why did he scream this? Not because of Soap's Scots, but because he had secretly just won the round after having lost the entire time they'd been playing.
People eat that shit up! Suddenly everyone's like "damn there's this hella attractive dude that records gameplay with his friends and they're all really funny." Everyone falls in love with Gaz's appearance first, but then they actually hear him and his friends interact and it's just trading insults and stupid jokes, acting like there's no one watching and they're suddenly kids again.
It eventually comes out that Gaz and his friends are all veterans, and despite the air around military not being the best, there's no denying that caring for veterans is a must. People slowly start to support Gaz's channel/streams, and before he knows it, he's actually got quite the following. His whole thing is about "wanting to do something to distract himself and others from the shitty aspects of life with a few laughs and some good games"
Eventually they convince Ghost to start gaming with them. It makes Gaz's popularity grow because now there's this really deep accent in the mix that's completely clueless as to what he's doing like 90% of the time (I just have this gut feeling that '22 Ghost is so fucking awful at video games) that they refer to simply as "Ghost". Suddenly, the chaos Gaz and his friends are known for increases tenfold. Ghost is flirting with all of them, Soap is arguing with him over literal couple things that come with living together, and there's a new element of really dark humor that wasn't there before (there was dark humor, just not this dark)
They're playing The Backrooms one time. They're not even in the game yet, just in the lobby. Gaz is laughing at Alex's tag for the game "MYLEG!" which is a reference to that one fish in Spongebob always yelling "my leg!" after an incident. Gaz is laughing too hard to actually explain to his viewers that, yes, Alex is an amputee. Soap starts making fun of him, as usual, and that's when it happens.
Alex: "I'll take my leg off and hit you with it, Soap, I swear to god." Soap: "I forgot you were already missing one for a second there and got real concerned." Alex: "No, Soap, I planned on removing my other leg. The one that's still attached, yeah. Just like a lil *pop noise*, ya know?" Gaz: *wheezing so hard he almost throws up*
Then they're playing this silly monster/cryptid hunter game called "A Day Out" and there's skeletons every now and then on the map. Gaz walks up to one and just starts freaking out, saying Ghost's name over and over.
Ghost, freaked out: What?? Gaz, pointing at the skeleton: Look, it's you! *cackling* Ghost, after a concerning long pause: *quietly* Nah, I'm not gonna say that Alex: SAY IT COWARD Ghost: No, that's my brother *Gaz making the most horrified face as he tries not to laugh* *Alex and Soap are losing their shit* Gaz: NAH THAT'S NOT OKAY
That clip posts and the internet looses it. I see this being the actual first video Ghost is in, so for this to be the first thing the viewers get of him, it's safe to say he's a hit. It's also never explained that Ghost does have a deceased brother, so there's just an acceptance of Ghost's skeleton brother.
There's several times where they've all gotten together and played silly games like Mario Kart when there's a bunch of them. There's the sober one and there's the drunk one, where there's so many different languages being hurled as curses at each other, Gaz gives up on captioning ANY of it.
OOOOooooooooohhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! WHAT IF! Roach becomes his editor once he gets popular enough so he can spend more time playing games, solo ones when the others are working.
For a while, everyone's going crazy wanting to see what the others all look like, and sometimes (cause we're assuming the world they live in now during all this is a lot better), they're joined by Rudy or Alejandro, or both in one rare instance. Sometimes, for old times's sake, during the drunk gaming sessions, they'll call Laswell only for her to scold them. There are times they'll bully Roach who always, as the editor, changes their words from the insults to compliments. Or he definitely trolls Gaz a lot with some of the editing, and it's all around just a good time. Hence why everyone wants to know what they look like.
Then it's around the holidays after about 2 and a half years of Gaz's channel being as popular as it is. He posts a single picture on his socials with a group of people and the caption: "Love seeing the boys over the holidays."
It's such a nice photo; Alex with an arm wrapped around Gaz's shoulders, Soap and Ghost on his other side with Roach between Soap and Gaz.
And the internet has once again gone crazy. Why? Cause not only are these dudes fucking hilarious, but they're hot and taken.
Except, as they all end up teasing him about, Roach is very much still single XD
I have been watching too much YouTube lately, can y'all tell?? Haha anyways back to my hole I shall crawl
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sweetteainthesummerx · 6 months ago
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THE LOVE LASTS SO LONG
Ollie Bearman and his girlfriend turned wife, as seen from social media and the public. 
series masterlist
reader has a name and a no fc, but is portrayed as East Asian :) No warnings, probably going to have multiple parts :) ALSO NO HATE TO MACE CORONEL I literally searched up young actors and he popped up AND no hate to ollie and Estelle's relationship I just wanted to write for fun. pls be kind this is baby's first Tumblr post also someone pls help me how do I make my blog aesthetic
★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★
E-news!
TRENDING NOW
AUBREY YANG WINS OSCAR AT AGE 17
Aubrey Yang, age 17, wins Best Supporting Actress in break out role on blockbuster movie, Station 13. This young star has been acting since the age of 7, landing roles such in which she worked with household names like Michelle Yeoh and Robin Williams. Her astounding and emotional performance as a newly orphaned teen in the apocalypse adjacent Morgan Freeman has secured her spot in this tumultuous industry. In her acceptance speech, Yang delivered an impactful critique on Asian presence in Western Media and how her win is “ not just [hers], but for all of us”. 
Yang is set to star in upcoming movie, White Jade Tiger, a historical film based on the book of the same name, directed by John M. Chu next fall. 
See below for Audrey Yang’s Acceptance Speech I 2024 Academy Awards. 
aubreyyang posted
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liked by morganfreeman, michelleyeoh_official, and 987,432 others
aubreyyang Wow. I am still in absolute shock. Thank you so much to everyone who supported me and helped make this happen. Here’s to more change and more love in the future! 
view all 26,183 comments
morganfreeman well done, and well deserved Aubrey. It was an honor seeing your incredible talent and hard work. 
— aubreyyang thank you so much for guiding me and imparting your wisdom!! I love you on set dad!
michelleyeoh_official They grow up so fast…proud of you, Aubrey!
— aubreyyang MICHELLE MY HERO
dior.n.goodjohn MY QUEEN YOUVE SLAYED TOO HARD IM AFRAID
— aubreyyang AHHH MY GF VAN TRIP WHEN???
user dior and aubrey are friends???
user2 yes they’re both from vancouver their friendship is so cute 
macecoronel ❤️
liked by author 
sabrinacarpenter girlboss
aubreyyang SABBB my lover
olliebearman posted
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olliebearman Spring break, ready to get back on (the) track 😁
tagged: kimi.antonelli
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liked by kimi.antonelli, arthur_leclerc, and 7,4720 others
celebgossipnews_page posted
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celebgossipnews_page Aubrey Yang has won an Oscar: but is she winning in the love department? The actress was seen arguing with long-term boyfriend, Mace Coronel in front of Nobu Downtown last Friday night, at 9:00 pm. She left the restaurant in tears, without Coronel. Could this power couple break up at the height of Yang’s career?
Liked by 7344 others
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user1 dude I hate him sm like wdym u pulled Aubrey, the baddest baddie out there
— user2 fr man is washed up
aubreyyyfanpage girl stand up that man is not worth it LEAVE HIM
— yang4eva WORDD miss ma’am he does not deserve u ONE CHANCE PLS
aubberieyaang posted
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aubberieyaang as liv once said, its brutal out here 
liked by celine_diorr and others
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celine_diorr NAH NO WAY LIL BRO CHEATED ON U LIKE WDYM
celine_diorr WHEN I CATCH U BRO WHEN I CATCH U
liv_laugh_love girl are r u ok u know its bad when ur quoting me
— aubberieyaang I can’t help it I start singing one step forward three steps back whenever I start crying
chuck_bushes do u want me and walker to go beat him up
— celine_diorr YO I want in
— aryannawhatrudoinghere me too
— walkdontrun pulling up to his house rn
— leeahh_j AUBREY I LOVE YOU DONT CRY
— aubberieyaang AW I LOVE U GUYS
dallastexas dude how r u showing up to set and pretending to be okay
dallastexas im gonna grab food and come over to urs
— aubberieyaang PLS. Also water im so dehydrated
★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★
© sweetteainthesummerx.tumblr. all rights reserved. unauthorized copying, translation, or claiming of my writing or any works as your own is strictly prohibited.
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dangerpronebuddie · 5 months ago
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WIP Wednesday!!
Tagged by @tizniz @inell @exhuastedpigeon who all shared WONDERFUL stuff y'all should absolutely show some love!! 🩵💚
Since a lot of people expressed interest in Clipboard Buck's sexuality quiz, I'm sharing some of that 😊. Haven't had a lot of time to write today, had to take pupper to the vet for his shots (he's okay! A little mad about it, but he's kinda dramatic lol). Anyway, this fic is slowly coming together. I'm hoping it won't take super long, but ya know. Have one of my favorite parts:
"So you're..." Hen trails off. She's biting back a smile that screams I knew it. "I don't know what I am," Buck shrugs. "For the longest time I thought how I felt was just... normal." "It's not abnormal," Hen assures him. She rounds the coffee table and sits on it. "That's what Maddie said," Buck sighs. "All I know is I am definitely not straight, and I want to know what I am." "You don't have to pick a label," Hen points out. "I never did," Chim says before taking another bite of celery. The entire team looks at him, varying degrees of surprise on their faces. He looks around the group. "What? I'm not straight. This can't be news to you." "I knew you were flirting with Eddie his first shift," Buck declares at the same time Hen says "it's not news." Eddie raises his eyebrows and grins at Chim, who honest to God blushes. "I was being friendly," Chim insists. "You were being a possessive golden retriever trying to mark your territory, I... didn't want him to feel unwelcome, that's all." "Aw, thanks, Chim," Eddie says, patting his knee. "Or was it Asian Fabio?" Chim shoves at him. The force throws Chim off balance and he falls against Eddie's side, knocking him into Buck, who half collapses across the couch like a line of ridiculous dominos. Hen cackles and Bobby scrubs his hands over his face with a long suffering sigh. By some miracle, their coffees- and Chim's celery and peanut butter- escape the mess unscathed. Chim scrabbles up and takes a seat beside Hen on the coffee table, glaring at Eddie like all that was his fault. Eddie sits up and takes Buck's hand, pulling him upright. "Oh, so you help Buck but not the guy who wasn't afraid to flirt with you?" Chim balks. "I've always been the favorite," Buck says with a cheeky grin, knocking his shoulder against Eddie's. "Before we end up calling an ambulance to our own firehouse," Bobby says, "have you thought any about the label you might want?" Buck sighs, his shoulders dropping. "I've tried. It's all really confusing and I've read articles about each one that might apply to me until the screen went blurry." "Why don't you do one of those quizzes they used to put in magazines?" Bobby suggests.
(tags under the cut. As always, please let me know if you want to be added/ removed):
@13shadesofanni @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @loveyouanyway
@ronordmann @steadfastsaturnsrings @daffi-990 @kitteneddiediaz
@spagheddiediaz @hippolotamus @diazsdimples @thekristen999
@actuallyitsellie @fortheloveofbuddie @wildlife4life @theotherbuckley
@rainbow-nerdss @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove
@lunarspark-cos @idealuk @shipperqueen6 @slowlyfoggydestiny
@misshiss727 @likeamollusconarock @lin27 @jshadow01 @orangeboxfox92
@smallandalmosthonest @thegeekcompanion @emilybahu @lemotmo @awolfnamed-nyx
@kaseysgirl86-blog @darkrose6578 @totallynotagoraphobic @dandelioncasey @bibuckbuckgoose @whatsgoodinthehood22
@lady-elaine @buckley-diaz-rules @buddiedaydreamer911 @monroemary @pirate-hunter
@nonspeakingkiku @eddiedisasterdiaz @drunkandsupportiveeddie @traumabuddies @epicbuddieficrecs
@tofanasmuse and anyone else who wants to share!! 🥰🩷
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princessleechan · 4 months ago
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"You're the man!" Chapter 39 Written Chapter
Masterlist
⚽Chapter tags: MDNI, she’s the man au, revenge au???, cross dressing!reader, reader identifies anything but male, sports au, queer themes, university au, love-whatever the fuck kind of shape, 2.9k w.c., game day, mentions of tits and dick lol, a bit of hurt and angst, the closest things to a sports fic
⚽Tag list: @90s-belladonna @the-boy-meets-evil @lirtha97 @hipsdofangirl @justineasian @kwanisms @multi-kpop-fanfics @pantumin @wooahaeproductions @mayashu @shuasdraftsalt @lone-lone-ranger @headlockimnida @horanghaezone @haolistic @porridgesblog @jeonjungkaka @luchiet @ujimatchaaa @skzdesi @cheoliehansolie @vlbii @myghobi @sisterofsomeone @joonsytip @gyublues @alltheshineofthestars-blog @randomworker @isabellah29 @savgogh @too-many-kpop-hubands @kamabokogonpachro @skittlez-area512 @seccdlurv @chisskaa @mochiteez @theyluvfrankocean @lllucere @thomawifey @middle-of-the-earth @okiedokrie-main @itsokaytobedumb00 @humankimbap @zezedoesshit @teenyfinds @jeonghansshitester @aaa-sia @heyitz00 @silvsie
When you finally get to be in the field all you feel is relief until it comes to trying to convince Seungcheol to put you back in after that awful performance courtesy of your brother.
“Captain!” you call out, your voice tinged with urgency.
Seungcheol glances at you from the corner of his eye, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. The stern set of his jaw and the way he shifts his weight suggest he’s not in the mood for pleasantries. “Maybe next game,” he replies coolly. “Can’t risk another fluke like the one you had out there.”
“I was nervous,” you protest, trying to keep your tone steady. “It was my first game with a new team. I panicked. Please, just give me another chance.”
Seungcheol shakes his head, a look of skepticism in his eyes. “How am I supposed to trust that this time will be any different?”
“Put me in and I’ll show you,” you insist, your voice brimming with determination.
Seungcheol exhales sharply, clearly agitated, and turns his attention back to his clipboard. His gaze flickers briefly in your direction before he starts writing something down. The seconds tick by as he weighs his decision, and you hold your breath. 
Finally, he looks up, a reluctant glimmer of hope in his eyes. “Since you look like yourself again,” he says, his tone softening just a touch, “I’ll give you 15 minutes. Use the time to reflect on what happened. Then we’ll see if you’re ready.”
“Got it, Coach—I mean, Cap,” you respond, a mixture of relief and resolve in your voice as you prepare to prove yourself.
You take the spot previous occupied by Yeonam next to Jeonghan who holds a smile of mischief like he always does. He gently nudges you, playfully greeting you. “Welcome back to the bench, Yeonam.”
“Thanks,” you grumble, your gaze lingering enviously on your teammates out on the field. A few catch your eye, especially one who you happened to share a bed with just last night. You sigh deeply. “I don’t know what to do, Jeonghan.”
Jeonghan picks up on the fact that your frustration likely stems from more than just soccer. He senses that there’s an underlying issue he might not fully grasp without knowing the whole story. Still, he recognizes the delicate nature of your situation, understanding that when it comes to your personal life—especially something as precarious as your recent entanglements—he needs to tread carefully.
“Soccer, buddy,” Jeonghan says with a wry smile, “We’re playing soccer.”
You roll your eyes, a mix of exasperation and frustration. “You know what I mean.”
The match is evenly balanced halfway through. Seokmin manages a few solid shots, proving himself a key player for his team, but he struggles to keep up with his opposite, Mingyu, who is emerging as the true star on the field. Invisible to the naked eye, he lets his mind on body run on the one thing he could focus on: his rage, allowing it to fuel his movements. It doesn’t take him long to dominate the pitch, and before you know it, it’s your time to rejoin the game, with Seungcheol’s approval and a pat on the back from Jeonghan.
You jog excitedly back to your team, eager to hear the game plan and be involved. However, you’re distracted by compulsive lingering glances at Soonyoung, who never even bothers to look your way. You decide to shift your focus to Mingyu, who noticeably avoids your gaze. Before you can offer your input, the team huddles and breaks, and everyone returns to their positions on the field.
You chase after the ball, skillfully dodging defenders and making yourself available. “I’m open! I’m open!” you shout, hoping to get Mingyu's attention.
Mingyu, controlling the ball, ignores your calls and attempts to maneuver around you, ultimately missing the goal. Your frustration is palpable as you furrow your eyebrows at your roommate, pointing out your presence on the field. Once again, you receive no response from him, and instead, Seungkwan gives you a reassuring pat on the back, “You ok?”
You nod at him in tired confirmation, and quickly, the game is back on with the soccer ball at centerfield once again.
This time, you're trailing Mingyu closely, trying to keep up with his swift footwork. "Pass it to me! I got it!" you shout, waving your arm to get his attention.
But he doesn’t acknowledge you. His focus is solely on the goal ahead. He takes the shot, but it goes wide. No goal. Nothing but air.
Frustration bubbles up inside you. “Mingyu, come on!” you shout, your voice tinged with a mix of disappointment and urgency. 
“Stop following me,” he finally says before running off.
This goes on for a period of until you’re at your tipping point, confronting him after yet another missed goal. “What the hell, Mingyu! Why are you being like this?”
“Don’t worry about it,” He dismisses.
“You know what? No.” Before he can storm off again, you stand your ground in front of him, ready to duke it out in front of teh entire team if you need to. “I am gonna worry about it. We were good for the last weeks working together, getting along even. Texting a decent amount, then you block me, and now your blocking my plays.”
Mingyu tightens in on your confrontation, a silent anger in his eyes. He drops is voice low enough for only you to hear, clipped tone that makes it clear there’s more at stake than just the soccer game. “Well, maybe if you didn’t be a dick instead of being my friend, I wouldn’t have to.”
“Bro, are you kidding me? All I’ve ever been is your friend. What is this even about?” you demand, your voice trembling with frustration.
“I know,” he retorts, taking a sharp breath. “I know what you and Chae did behind my back.”
“You—you actually—wow, dude,” you stammer, utterly stunned by his accusation.
He scoffs, crossing his arms. “Can’t say shit, can you?”
“What the hell is interrupting the game right now? Boys?” the Captain intrudes, his voice cutting through the tension.
Your hands start trembling, and you feel the weight of your bottled-up emotions about to explode. “You know what? Fuck. I can’t do this. You know what, Mingyu? I didn’t kiss your crush, my brother did.”
“Brother?” Mingyu stares, his anger only intensifying with your supposed lie. “You don’t have a brother.”
You nod, your voice steadying. “Yes, I do. Yeonam—Yeonam is my brother.”
Mingyu’s face twists in disbelief. “Have you gone mental?” he asks, his tone a mix of anger and bewilderment.
“Goddamnit, look,” you say, reaching for the back of your head. You pull against the elastic band holding your hair tightly in place, finally releasing it from its death grip.
As your hair falls against your shoulders, everyone’s eyes widen in surprise, shocked to see you shed your disguise.
“What the fuck,” Mingyu begins to grumble, his voice tinged with disbelief.
You peel back the fake eyebrows, sideburns, and anything else that was part of your disguise. Each piece removed leaves you feeling more vulnerable, fully exposed to scrutiny as you reveal your true self. 
“Yeonam is my brother because… I’m his twin,” you say, standing tall despite the nervous flutter in your chest.
The corner of your eye can’t help flicker towards Soonyoung quietly started before he turns away from you, something being told in his body language and your heart sinks realizing what. The revelation hangs heavy in the air, Mingyu's expression shifting from confusion to a mix of shock and realization. The team around you murmurs, trying to process what they've just witnessed.
“Are you kidding me right now?” Mingyu exclaims, his voice full of disbelief.
“Y/n?” Seokmin steps forward, recognition dawning on his face. “What is this? What are you doing playing for this team, dressed like one of them?”
You scoff, locking eyes with your ex. “Making a point, asshole.” You turn back to Mingyu, who is still in shock.
“And no, I didn’t kiss Chae. I mean, how could I when I don’t see her that way and knowing you have feelings for her?”
“You—I—“ Mingyu stammers, struggling to find his words.
You take a deep breath, addressing the team. “I’m sorry, guys. I joined this team because mine was terminated to prioritize the boys' team at my university. I joined this team because you guys were the best, along with my school. And my brother” you clear your throat, “ he was going to be out of town. That’s him over there.”
The team follows your gaze to the stands, where your brother Yeonam is watching. Noticing the attention, he makes his way down, joining the group with a soft smile. “Hi.”
“He was the one playing in the first half of the game,” you add, feeling defeated. “That’s who was kissing Chae that night.”
“No wonder he sucked,” Jihoon blurts out, unable to hold back his observation.
“Hey,” Yeonam retorts, clearly offended.
You sigh, running a hand through your hair. “Soccer is my entire life. I wanted to prove to everyone here, and maybe to myself, that we didn’t need to be boys to play. To prove ourselves worthy of the school funding. I didn’t think I’d end up liking being on this team so much. Liking the people on this team so much.”
You glance at Soonyoung, and for a brief moment, your eyes meet before he looks away again, avoiding your gaze. The moment hangs in the air, thick with unspoken emotions and the weight of your confession.
It hurt. More than you’d like to admit.
You realign your gaze. “I wanted to play so badly, and I can’t do that with what’s happened between us. We had a good thing going, our friendship. We’re better together, stronger when we work as a team.” You pause, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. “What do you say, Mingyu?”
Mingyu hesitates, then asks, “Wait, wait. If you’re not a guy, then what are you?”
You roll your eyes in exasperation. “Do I have to whip my tits out to prove something?”
Joshua chimes in with a grin, “Is that an option?”
“Please don’t,” Yeonam interjects, looking horrified. “I’d rather not see my twin’s tits. Sounds like it would require expensive therapy.”
“Yeah ditto, stickdick.”
“Okay. I believe you,” Mingyu says, his voice tinged with defeat as he looks down, shoulders slumping.
“So, can I play?” you ask, hope creeping into your voice. “I want to show that it’s not just boys who can be good, and that I, representing my team, can be just as skilled.”
Mingyu contemplates for a moment, his brow furrowing in thought. He glances at Seungcheol before speaking again. “It’s not the matter of the player but what they bring to the field. Skill is nurtured, not born. Right, Seungcheol?”
Seungcheol, who had been observing the exchange closely, lets out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, I guess that’s true,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck with a frustrated sigh. “We’ve all seen players improve through hard work and dedication, regardless of who they are.”
“Hold on,” one of Seokmin’s teammates pipes up, his voice dripping with skepticism. “You guys can’t be serious about this.”
“Why the hell not?” Seungcheol retorts, his voice rising in frustration as he points directly at you with a commanding gesture. “That’s my kid. My player out there. You think I’m going to just let go of someone that talented?.”
Seokmin’s team doesn’t let the matter rest without a fight. The tension remains high as arguments and counterarguments fly back and forth, each side determined to prove their point. The obnoxious player, clearly enjoying the confrontation, smirks as he pulls out a rulebook from his bag, its worn cover betraying its frequent use. He hands it to Seungcheol with an air of smug superiority. “Rules strictly state that boys’ sports teams stay boys’,” he says, his tone almost mocking. “Right, Cap?”
The obnoxious player turns to Seokmin with a triumphant grin, as if he’s won the argument before it’s even over. Seokmin, however, remains silent, his eyes locked on you still registering the conflict in front of him, detailing every word he’s said to your face without knowing and remembering the empty feeling from lack of response.
Seungcheol’s expression hardens as he takes the rulebook, his gaze fierce and determined. With a defiant glint in his eye, he rips the rulebook in half, the pages fluttering to the ground in shreds, and placing the giant chucks back on the opposites. “What rulebook?” he declares, his voice filled with defiance.
Seokmin’s teammate’s eyes widen in shock and indignation. “Hey–” he begins, but Seungcheol cuts him off with a steely gaze.
“If you’re scared of losing, just admit it,” Seungcheol continues, his voice cutting through the tension. “Don’t hide behind some petty excuse like gender. This is about sportsmanship and skill. Unless you’re really just the losers who stole resources from a capable team to cover up your own lack of talent.”
The obnoxious player’s face turns a deep shade of red, his pride clearly wounded. His fists clench at his sides as he struggles to maintain his composure, flinging the defiled rulebook on the field. “You’re on!” he finally shouts, his voice cracking with anger.
The game resumes, and with renewed determination, you step back onto the field, channeling every ounce of energy and skill into each play. Mingyu, having finally warmed up to the idea, starts coordinating seamlessly with you, his passes sharp and his movements precise. The rest of your team, energized by your resolve, steps up their game. You can feel their hope and faith in you, driving you to push your limits and showcase exactly what you’re capable of. To prove yourself that there’s more to what’s in your pants to show what kind of fire is in your heart.
You weave through defenders with skillful footwork, making strategic plays and delivering accurate passes. Each time the ball comes to you, you handle it with precision, your vision and quick reflexes earning you a few key assists and encouraging faces of your teammates. The game is intense, with both teams fighting hard for every inch of ground. You intercept a crucial pass, setting up a perfect opportunity for your teammate to score in the finally minutes of the game. The crowd roars as the ball hits the back of the net, giving your team the lead.
The clock ticks its final seconds and the final whistle blows. The scoreboard broadcast your victory. Ccheers explode around you, a cacophony of celebration and relief. Your teammates rush in, their faces alight with joy. They envelop you in a sea of high-fives and cheers, their exuberance palpable. It’s a moment of pure triumph, and the camaraderie is electric, filling the air with a sense of collective achievement and unity.
Yet, amidst the jubilation, your gaze keeps darting to the sidelines. Soonyoung is already heading towards the locker room, his shoulders slightly hunched, as if trying to escape the spotlight. The sight of him leaving so abruptly tugs at your heartstrings, cutting through the elation of victory. You want to bask in the triumph with everyone, but your concern for Soonyoung pulls you in his direction, a gnawing need to understand what’s behind his distant expression.
You rush to catch up with him, weaving through the celebrating crowd. “Soonyoung! Did you see that? We won!”
He stops momentarily while packing his things, glancing back with a weary expression. “Sure. Congrats on the great game,” he replies, his voice flat and devoid of the excitement that should accompany such a victory.
You take a hesitant step closer, your heart aching at the sight of his disinterest. “I’m really sorry for lying to you,” you say, your voice earnest and filled with regret. You can’t help but feel the weight of your mistake pressing down on you.
“No big deal. Doesn’t matter,” he responds dismissively, his back already turned, signaling his desire to move on.
“But it does,” you insist, your voice cracking slightly as frustration and sadness mix. You trod towards him anxiously, missing the smile he always spays, the teeth he bares, teh flirtatious way he’d greet as you or Yeonam. “I wanted to tell you. I was just so, so happy being around you, I just…”
Soonyoung takes a deep breath, clearly struggling with his emotions. He shoves the last of his things into his bag with a sense of finality. “Can I just get a minute?” he asks, his voice strained and barely above a whisper.
You nod, feeling a lump form in your throat as you swallow your own tears. “I’m really sorry,” you repeat, your voice soft and almost pleading.
Without a response, Soonyoung walks away with his bag slung over his shoulder, his footsteps echoing as he passes through the locker room exit. The door swings shut behind him with a soft, final thud, sealing him off from view. You’re left standing alone in the boys’ locker room–the one place you did everything in your power to avoid, now the only place you find yourself wanting to stay–as the jubilant echoes of the earlier celebration now distant and muted.
The weight of this moment settles heavily on your shoulders, the joy of the day overshadowed the bitter taste in your mouth and your heart now shattered into a million tiny pieces.
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atearyamallari · 2 months ago
Text
Bath, Bed, and Late Night Phone Calls
This is another entry for @tmnt-write-fight. Get attacked, @untitled-tmnt-blog! This was the prompt I had answered:
New dad Splinter is very unprepared but is trying the best he can.
Not a parent, but having worked closely with children, I can tell you that parenting is hard. Hope you all enjoy the story! (and if you're reading this, I recommend having tissues nearby)
Words: 3669
Rating: Gen
Tags: Fluff, Family Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Minor Character Death, Bubble Bath, Sad Ending, Bittersweet Ending, Bittersweet.
Iteration: Rise of the TMNT
You can also check out the fic here on AO3!
Enjoy!
\\
Splinter looked at his sons as they cuddled on the couch together, watching one of his films. Admittedly, it wasn’t the best thing to show to children – violence toned down was still violence, after all – but he didn’t have any other movies for them. Besides, putting something on the TV was one of the only ways he could get all four of them to calm down and be quiet for longer than ten minutes. And the boys seemed to really enjoy this movie in particular; their jaws were slack, and their eyes twinkled with awe as they watched Lou Jitsu beat up a dozen bad guys on screen.
Little did they know that Lou Jitsu was standing nearby, and that he was going to pull the rug out from under them. He snatched up the remote with his tail and turned the TV off. “Alright, boys! It’s time for your bath!” he said.
The room grew to a near-deafening volume as all four of them started complaining at once. “But Papa, I don’t wanna take a bath!” Leo whined.
“No baths!” Mikey said.
“Yeah, we already had one,” Raph said. “We’re all clean.”
“No baths!”
“That was two days ago. You need to take another one today,” Splinter said.
“But we want to watch the movie!” Donnie said.
“No baths!”
Splinter’s sanity was slipping from him, like a balloon slipping from a child’s fingers and floating out of reach. “How about we take baths one at a time, and when you’re not being washed you can watch the movie?” he said, trying his best to refrain from yelling. “Does that sound good?”
Bargaining seemed to do the trick. “Yay! Movie time!” they yelled happily.
He turned the TV back on, and the projector hummed with life as it displayed their favorite movie once more. “Red, you will go first,” he said, setting the remote down.
“What? No fair!” he said. “Why do I have to go first?”
“Because I said so.” He grabbed his son by the wrist and tried to gently coax him off the couch.
“I don’t wanna take a bath!” Raph said. “I wanna stay here with my brothers!” He wormed his arm out of Splinter’s grasp, then retreated his head and limbs into his shell.
Normally, that level of stubbornness would have caused Splinter a headache, but thankfully, his son wasn’t smart enough to realize that hiding in his shell only made him easier to carry. Splinter picked him up off the couch and was immediately surprised by how heavy his Raph was. Five-year-olds were supposed to grow a lot, but it should have been illegal for him to grow this much. As he lugged Raphael away into the bathroom, he wondered how much longer he would be able to carry him before he grew too big.
Their bathroom was barely larger than a closet, but it was the only room in the sewer drainage junction that they had come to call home which had spigots to draw water from. A wooden barrel that had been sawed in half functioned as their bathtub, and Splinter had added shelves to the walls to hold soap and towels. As he gently set Raph down into the tub, he realized that his son was almost too big for it now. Another reason why it should have been illegal for him to grow as fast as he did.
Splinter connected a garden hose to a faucet in the walls and turned the valve handle. Water gushed out, brown and murky at first, but eventually it ran clear. Splinter aimed the hose into the bathtub and began filling it. Curious, little Raph peeked his head out from his shell, then his legs, then his arms. A smile slowly crept onto his face as he began to splash around.
“Are you having fun?” Splinter asked, amused.
“Yeah!” Raph said. He slammed his arms into the water, making giant splashes.
“Careful! You’re gonna get water everywhere,” Splinter said. He turned off the faucet, grabbed some liquid soap from one of the shelves and began pouring it into the bath. Mountains of bubbles grew in the tub, much to Raph’s delight.
“Look, Daddy!” Raph said, scooping bubbles with his hands and smearing them on top of his head. “I’m Lou Jitsu!”
Laughing, Splinter took off his red bandana, then scooped up some more bubbles and added them to his son’s head. “You look just like him!” he said.
He spent the next couple of minutes scrubbing him down with a sponge. Halfway through the bath, Raph had managed to splash all the water out of the tub, forcing Splinter to fill it up again. But before long, he had Raph wrapped up in a fuzzy red towel. “Daddy’s gonna get you all dried up,” he said.
Somewhere in another room, glass shattered. Splinter’s heart dropped as soon as he heard the sound. “Never mind. You’re old enough to do this yourself, right?” he said to Raph. Then he bolted out of the bathroom.
Leo and Mikey were standing in the middle of the TV room, looking down at the mess they had made. Between the two of them was a football, a lamp shade, and a pile of broken ceramic. “Did you two just break our brand-new lamp?” Splinter said, aghast.
The boys pointed their fingers at each other. “He did it!” they said simultaneously.
Like the rest of their furniture, the lamp had been salvaged from a dumpster, but it was one of the nicer appliances that Splinter had added to their home. “That’s it! Leonardo, Michelangelo, you’re both in trouble,” he yelled. “No more playing football in the lair.”
“Sorry, Daddy,” Leo mumbled.
“S-sorry, P-papa” Mikey said, bursting into tears.
Seeing his son crying caused his chest to tighten with pity. Still, pity wasn’t going to clean up the mess. Splinter picked up the football and carefully plucked out the ceramic shards before placing it on the very top of the do-not-touch cabinet he had in the TV room. Then he carefully swept up the broken pieces before his sons could cut their toes on them. By the time he was done, Mikey had stopped crying but was still sulking where he stood.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Splinter said, picking him up. “But I need you to be careful. I don’t want you getting hurt. Now, let’s get you back on the couch.” He fluffed up the cushions with one hand before setting him down, then turned to Leo. “Come, Blue. It’s time for your bath now.”
“Okay,” Leo said in a whiny tone.
Taking his hand, Splinter led him to the bathroom. All the while, a nagging feeling ate away at him, telling him that something was wrong. It wasn’t until they had nearly left the TV room that he realized what it was. “Where’s Purple?” he asked Leo. He asked as calmly as possible, but his heart only pounded faster when he remembered that he hadn’t seen Donnie since he took Raph’s bath.
Leo silently pointed behind him. Splinter turned to find Donnie standing just a few feet away, dragging a bucket by the handle. “I’m right here, Papa,” he said.
Crisis averted. Splinter let out a giant sigh of relief. “Donatello, go watch the movie with your brother,” he said.
“Actually, I want to take a bath now,” Donnie said.
“But Daddy said that it’s my turn for bathtime,” Leo said.
“You boys can have a bath at the same time,” Splinter suggested. Thankfully, the two of them were small enough that they could both fit in the tub.
Leo took Donnie’s free hand and together they walked into the bathroom. Raph was standing where Splinter had left him, swaddled in the towel. It was obvious that he hadn’t done anything to dry himself off, however, since water was still dripping from his shell, and he was now shivering. Splinter helped Leo and Donnie into the bathtub, then finished drying Raph off while the bath filled with water. Eventually, he let Raph scamper back into the TV room and turned his attention back to Leo and Donnie.
Donnie was floating his bucket in the bathtub. Lately, he had picked up the habit of walking everywhere with it and often filled it with little trinkets he found around the house. “What do you have in your bucket, Purple?” Splinter asked as he gently took off his bandana.
Silently, Donnie reached into the bucket and pulled out a spoon, then let it drop into the water. Then he drew a second spoon from the bucket, and a third, dropping each of them into the bath. Although this probably wasn’t normal behavior for a child, this didn’t surprise Splinter at all. Donnie, for some reason, had an interest in shiny metal objects. What did surprise him, however, was the next few items that Donnie pulled out from his bucket. They were metal rods shaped like the letter C, and for some reason Splinter had the feeling that he had seen them somewhere before. It wasn’t until Donnie had dropped the fourth one into the bathtub that he realized that they were the handles of the kitchen drawers. “What –? How did you get the handles off?” he asked incredulously.
“With a screwdriver,” Donnie said, beaming.
If any of his other sons had done this, Splinter would have been concerned. But Donnie had always been a little too smart for his own good. Splinter tiredly dragged one of his hands over his face. Considering that his four-year-old son was able to remove the handles, it should be easy for him to place them back on. “What else do you have in the bucket?” he asked.
“A toaster!” he said, pulling one out.
“No no no no no!” Splinter said, catching the toaster before his son could toss it into the bath like the rest of his trinkets. He set the toaster on one of the shelves, away from the water, then took the bucket out of the bathtub. “Let’s play with this later, okay?”
Like with Raph, Splinter scrubbed Donnie and Leo down with a sponge. It took a little longer than normal because whenever Donnie was distracted, he took the opportunity to reach into the bathtub and pull out the spoons and drawer handles. In a few minutes, however, he had them clean and swaddled in their favorite purple and blue towels. Once they had both dried off, he led them both to the TV room. “Orange, it’s your turn,” he called.
Raph sat on the couch watching the movie, but Mikey wasn’t with him. “Red, where is your brother?” he asked.
He shrugged. “I dunno. I’ve just been watching the movie.”
Splinter looked down at Donnie and Leo, as if they would have the answers, but they only shrugged in reply as well. This was just great. He should have known that it was getting too quiet around the lair. That’s what he got for teaching them basic ninja skills.
Leaving the rest of the boys in the TV room, Splinter walked around and called Mikey’s name. The longer time dragged on without a response, the more panic dug its claws into his chest. All the doors leading out of the sewers were child-proof, so there was no way Mikey could have left – but if he had managed to break through, then Splinter could only hope that his chubby toddler legs didn’t take him very far.
After calling his name for what felt like the hundredth time, Splinter finally heard a response. “Hi, Daddy!” came Mikey’s voice, bouncing across the walls of the atrium.
Splinter spun around wildly, trying to pinpoint where the sound had come from. Finally, his eyes rested on the sight of a little box turtle hanging from a pipe suspended ten feet off the ground. “Mikey!” he said, horrified. “Get down from there!”
“Okay!” Mikey said. He let go of the pipe.
“That’s not what I meant!” Splinter screamed. Adrenaline pumped through his body as his instincts took over. With a giant leap, he stretched out his hands and caught his son as he plummeted to the ground. He landed expertly, still holding onto Mikey.
“Yay! Do it again!” his son said.
“Nope! Not again!” Splinter said, nearly crying from sheer terror. “Bathtime only.”
Splinter gave Mikey his bath, and by the time he was done, exhaustion weighed down every bone in his body. He wasn’t the only one; little Mikey started nodding his head as Splinter dried him off and he seemed to struggle to keep his eyes open. It was a little early in the evening – but it was never too early for bedtime. Splinter picked up his son and carried him to his bedroom. Mikey was sound asleep before his head hit his pillow. Chuckling softly, Splinter knelt over him and kissed the top of his head before returning to the TV room.
Raph, Donnie, and Leo were all sound asleep, cuddled close together on the couch. Splinter grabbed the remote and lowered the volume to the movie, which still droned on in the background. One by one, he picked up Raph, then Donnie, and carried them to their beds, before tucking them in and kissing them good night. As he brought Leo to his bed, however, he began to stir. “Papa,” Leo murmured sleepily as Splinter lay him gently down on his pillow. “Can you tell me a bedtime story?”
“No, it’s time for you to sleep,” Splinter said.
“Please?”
Leo’s sleepy little eyes were simply too adorable to resist. “Okay,” Splinter said, sitting on the edge of his son’s bed. He racked his mind for a bedtime story until at last he remembered an old fairy tale from his childhood.
“Once upon a time there was a young fisherman named Urashima Tarō,” he began. “He lived with his mother and father in a humble village on the coast of a small island, and he was a good son who ate all his vegetables and didn’t complain about bathtime. One day, when he was walking along the beach, he came across a group of children. As he drew closer, he saw that they were torturing a baby sea turtle who was stranded in the sand dunes. Feeling pity for the turtle, he drove the children away, then he carefully watched over it as it found its way to the surf and disappeared into the waves.”
“Those were some mean kids,” Leo mumbled.
“Yes, yes,” Splinter said. “Now don’t interrupt. Two days later, when he was fishing on his boat, a giant sea turtle swam up to him. It was no ordinary sea turtle, for it was the same one that he had rescued. And it could talk! The turtle thanked him for saving its life and offered to take him to Ryūgū-jō, the underwater palace of the Dragon God. Since Tarō was a human and could not breathe underwater, the turtle magically gave him gills, and since he was not a strong swimmer, the turtle let him ride on its shell until they came to a beautiful palace made of pearls at the bottom of the ocean.”
“Saving the turtle had made Tarō the hot-shot of the ocean. He got to meet all of the important people in Ryūgū-jō, like the emperor, and his princess daughter, Otohime. But as the days went by, he became homesick. He wanted to go back to the island to see his mother and father. Otohime was sad to see him go, but she gave him permission to return home and gave him a special box, a tamatebako, to keep him safe from harm. However, she gave him instructions to never open the box. Tarō took it with him and rode on the back of his sea turtle friend until he made it home.”
“When he came to his island home, he found that everything had changed. He couldn’t recognize any of the people there, and he couldn’t find his parents. Just when he thought he had traveled to the wrong island, some of the villagers told him that they knew where his mother and father were. They took him to a pair of graves at the edge of the village – his parent’s graves. Three hundred years had passed since he had disappeared at sea, and his parents were long gone. Distracted by the grief, Tarō opened the lid of the tamatebako. White smoke poured out, turning his hair silver and forming wrinkles in his skin. It was too late by the time that he realized that the box had held his old age.”
Leo’s eyes were closed, and his breathing was soft and even. Splinter gently cupped his son’s face in his hands, stroking the edge of his bright red stripes with his thumb, and leaned over to kiss the top of his head. Then he quietly got up and walked out of his room.
Now that his sons were asleep, the lair was completely still, but despite the peace and quiet Splinter found himself unable to relax. Today marked the third anniversary of their collective mutation – the boys mutating into giant sentient turtles, himself mutating into an ugly, oversized rat. His fur stood on end as horrible memories wormed their way into his mind. The glow of bright green ooze. The acrid stench of chemical fires burning in a crumbling lab. The ache in his bones as he transformed. The horrible, churning feeling in his gut when he realized that Draxum intended to turn innocent baby turtles into weapons of war.
After three years, that gut-churning feeling never really went away. He felt when he and his sons were on the run, living in the streets. He felt it the one time someone had caught a glimpse of him and his boys and screeched in horror. Even when their lives weren’t in immediate danger, he couldn’t ignore the feeling that he was doing this parenting stuff all wrong. He had rescued the boys from a soldier’s life, only to deliver them to a life in the sewers.
He couldn’t do this anymore – not alone, anyway. It was time to ask for some help, or at least some parenting advice. Splinter tip-toed to his room, grabbed an oversized hoodie, and slipped it on. Then he lifted his mattress and snatched up the loose change that he had hidden underneath. He counted the quarters, adding them up until he had nearly thirteen dollars. Enough to make an international call.
Quietly, he tiptoed out of his room and into one of the sewer tunnels that led to a maintenance shaft. He turned the door handle and heaved the giant vault-like door open before slipping through and shutting it behind him. When he reached the top of the maintenance shaft, he lifted the manhole cover and crawled out onto the street. Pulling his hood over his head, he headed east.
Two blocks later, he reached a row of payphones on the side of the road. He lifted one of the phones from its hook and inserted quarters into the coin slot before dialing the number. Although it had been over thirteen years since he had talked to his grandfather, he still remembered the number to his landline.
Splinter nervously twist the phone cord in between his fingers as the phone rang in his ear. Would his grandfather be happy to hear his voice, or disappointed that it took over thirteen years to reach out to him again? Would his grandfather even remember him? Was his Japanese still good enough to carry a conversation? Part of him was tempted to save himself the shame and hang up so that he could get his money back. Clutching the phone tighter, he forced himself to stay on the line. This was for his sons, he reminded himself.
The line clicked as someone picked up the phone on the other end. “Jiji! It’s me, Yoshi,” Splinter said. “I’m sorry I haven’t called you sooner. I need help –”
“I’m sorry, who did you say you were?”
“Yoshi. Hamato Yoshi,” he answered. His stomach twisted when he realized he didn’t recognize the voice on the other end.
“I think you have the wrong number.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry to bother you. I was just trying to call my grandpa, Hamato Sho.”
“Hamato Sho,” repeated the stranger on the other end. “I recognize that name. I think he was the previous occupant of the house I am living in now.”
If the stranger knew his grandfather, then he still had hope of reaching him. “Do you know where he lives now? Or what his new phone number is?”
The stranger paused. “Listen, I know this won’t be what you wanted to hear but… Hamato Sho passed away five years ago.”
A tear slipped down Splinter’s face. “Oh,” he choked out.
“Yeah. I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”
His chest tightened as a sob threatened to escape his throat. “It’s okay,” he said. “Thank you for your time.” With shaky hands, he put the phone back up on the hook.
Splinter’s legs felt heavy the entire walk back to the sewers. Tears streaked down his face now as he allowed himself to cry. His jiji was long gone, and he never got the chance to properly say goodbye. He never even apologized for the way he had left things between them. There was no one left of his family now.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Splinter had four sons now – four rambunctious, troublemaking, sweet turtle sons. When he returned to the lair, it was still quiet and peaceful. In the morning, it would be loud and chaotic as they woke up. But for now, they were asleep in their rooms, perhaps having pleasant dreams about what the next day would bring. Splinter crawled into bed, still wondering if he was raising his sons right. But no matter what, he was going to try.
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jasntodds · 4 months ago
Text
Penance [4]
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Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader
Words: 7,682
Chapter Warnings: Swearing, a little bit of angst, some fluff, mentions of death, some blood, panic attack (jason), bits of ptsd, some violence, hurt/comfort
Summary:❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞
It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right?
Right?
A/N: I might have gotten this idea from 911 but that's fine lol I hope you guys like it!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭
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As the next day comes around, it takes Jason some time to convince Tim not to go looking for Venta if they’re going out later. Tim is thrilled to be helping with the Penguin to the point Jason finds the whole thing a little funny. Jason was always excited to go out as Robin. It was the coolest thing ever but Tim really is over the moon about it. Jason doesn’t think Tim has ever been happier about it and it actually worries him.
As much as Jason is happy for him, he is worried. He’s worried Tim will put his all into Robin and lose himself in it, just like Dick and Jason did. Robin was never something they got to do. It was given to them as a way to cover up their grief. It was a way to weaponize their grief rather than work through it. Jason hopes that won’t be the case for Tim. It doesn’t seem that way. It seems he just wants it for the greater good and he’s just excited. And the way he’s excited is still very serious like he knows he can’t let that excitement out onto the field so he lets it out now where it’s safe. It’s something he knows he has to take seriously. Jason worries but he hopes it’ll work out because he can tell that Tim will be a good Robin.
You meet the boys back at Jason's around midnight, a case in hand with your suit. You're pretty excited to go out on a mission with not only Tim for the first time, but also Jason. You really miss that stuff with him. But, with Tim, it’s new and you're excited to see how he does. No one can’t stop him from being Robin and being out there, so you might as well embrace it and that’s what you're doing even if you're terrified of it.
“Really gonna take down the Penguin.” Tim says almost in awe once you're dressed and back in the main corridor downstairs.
“Pretty sure we’re not taking him down, really.” You nod your head as Tim moves his staff around with pent-up energy.
“Kind of.” Tim defends.
“We’re just securing the guns and turning them over to Babs.” Jason reminds him as he walks in now in his Red Hood suit, the helmet on his hip. “Not taking out Penguin, he’s not even supposed to be there this time.”
“The fuck he is doing that he’s not gonna be at his own shipment?” You question, your stare directly at Jason and you can't help but feel maybe that's a bit weird.
“Fuck if I know, Penguin things.” Jason lets out a scoff. "Could think we wouldn't come for him since we haven't." Jason shrugs casually, it's not the first time Penguin hasn't been around so he isn't too concerned about it.
“What a weirdo.” You let out a sigh, shrugging the uneasiest from your bones with the ease of Jason's voice.
“Yeah.” Jason chuckles softly. “Alright, let’s get going. Tim, you ride with her.” Jason hands Tim a spare helmet. Jason heads for the exit, the two of you right behind him. “And just make sure you do what we say.”
“Got it.” Tim nods.
“Then, let’s get out of here.” Jason nods once as the three of you exit the building.
The three of you ride over to the warehouse near Harbor that Penguin is using. The three of you get to a roof, laying down to look over the edge as the three of you closely watch as the shipment is taken from one of the boats and moved into the warehouse. Penguin isn’t here it seems and only a handful of his goons are. That’s a red flag, Jason and you can both sense it. You exchange a glance but you're already here and you gave Babs a heads up. It'd be a little hard to leave now so you just keep watching, hoping this won't cause too many problems.
Once the lot is cleared of goons, the three of you make your way to the roof of the warehouse, Tim trailing along well. On top of the roof, there's a skylight where you can see the crates in the center of the room with the goons armed and looking around. This isn't anything you and Jason haven't done before so you both give Tim a quick rundown of a plan. Tim gets two goons while you and Jason will take out the rest and if he's in trouble just call out. Once Tim seems to be up to speed, Jason and you break the window first, using your grappling hooks to lower yourselves down quickly, Tim right behind with his own grappling hook.
You take your own four goons with ease while Jason takes the other four, leaving Tim with just the two. You and Jason find yourselves looking over your shoulders to make sure Tim isn’t laid out but every time you both check, he seems to be holding his own pretty well. By the time you and Jason have your goons down, Tim has his down, a proud smile on his face.
“I got them.” Tim says breathlessly. “Wasn’t so bad.”
You look over to Jason with the roll of your eyes. “Okay, Robin.” You nod once before you let out a breath.
“Let’s make sure everything is here and we’ll put in the call.” Jason says as the three of you start opening the crates finding several automatic weapons.
“What’s he doing with all of them anyway?” Tim asks, standing beside you.
“Penguin things.” You and Jason say at the same time.
“Right…” Tim lets out a breath.
This has gone pretty well so far according to you and Jason but that is what's not sitting right. Nothing with these guys ever goes exactly according to plan. That was one of the reasons Jason wanted to bring Tim so he would have to learn to adapt but nothing else is happening. Penguin isn't here and his goons barely even put up a fight. You need to get out of here, this isn't right.
“You didn’t think this would be that easy did you?” A nasally voice says from the platform above the three of you.
The three of you turn to see Penguin with his right hand right next to him. He looks a bit too excited and happy to be here. Jason wants to bang his head against a wall and you're nearly rolling your eyes into the back of your head. This was too easy and for Penguin to seem awfully pleased with himself, this is about to get very bad.
“We can take your goons all night, man. Or you can just walk the fuck away.” Jason offers as he crosses his arms.
Penguin tilts his head back and laughs. “That won’t be necessary. The two of you really are some replacements. And you even have your own sidekick!”
“Hey!” Tim yells, taking a step forward.
You grab his arm with a tight grip. “Shut up.” You grit your teeth at him. "Sounds like you could use a sidekick or two though." You quip back to Penguin. "Planning this with the Bat to of town? What? You scared or something, Penguin?"
“I'm not scared." Penguin says it so casually it sends a chill down your spine. "I knew you’d get in the way which is why I prepared for that!” Pengiun chimes. "You really should know something about that, Red Hood." Penguin mocks before he pulls out a detonator.
A bomb. Of course, it’s a fucking bomb.
“Have fun.” Penguin smiles at the three of you before he presses the button and immediately starts walking out.
You and Jason exchange a stare as a ticking echoes around you. You won’t have time. Penguin planned this so you wouldn’t have time even with his warning. There's no time to find the bomb and disable it, there's not even enough time to get out of the building. How did you both miss this?
It's all going in slow motion as Jason can see the panic wanting to stretch over your face, Tim looking petrified right beside you. There isn’t time to even reach you. And even if there was, what’s he supposed to do? He can’t catch a building. There’s only one thing to do and it’s as if you share the exact same thought that he does in that single second.
Jason and you turn at the same time to run towards the exit, you grabbing Tim by the arm to drag him along. The ticking quickens from above you. You’re out of time. You’re out of time and there’s nothing else left to do. The ticking echoes and echoes and in a split second, Jason is running behind a pillar and you grab the edge of your cape before wrapping it around Tim as you tackle him to the ground.
And the bomb goes off less than a second later.
The warehouse rumbles and vibrates as Jason is tucked into a ball behind the pillar, his hands covering his neck as if waiting for a tornado to hit. The rumbling shakes his bones and it’s so loud. Every rumble and echo shatter through his bones. His eyes are slammed shut as the warehouse fills with smoke as the roof starts to collapse. Jason’s chest starts to burn and it shouldn’t.
The mask has a ventilator. His chest shouldn’t hurt but it does and he thinks his ears are bleeding. His bones are stinging. Why are his bones stinging? Why is so hard to breathe? His eyes burn and sting even with them closed. Not again. This can't be happening again. Panic spreads itself over Jason like an itchy weighted blanket. He doesn't want to die again. Dying is terrifying and the building is collapsing around him. A part of him thinks he can hear the crude laugh of the Joker echoing somewhere through the shattering concrete. It all feels too much and he can't breathe. Every part of him is shaking as he's been left out to the elements in the middle of February. This can't be happening.
And then it all falls eerily silent.
Jason's breath is quick and uneven as he tries to ground himself. It's silent, the collapsing is over. It takes him a few minutes to try to gather himself, desperately trying to pull his mind away from the edge of terror. This is the first time something like this has happened since the Joker. Jason thinks the fear isn't any better the second time around.
He thinks it's worse.
But, he finds it in himself to finally slowly pull his hands away from his neck, his arms feeling like warm jello as they shake. He slowly sits up partially, looking around what was the warehouse. It’s cloudy, filled with dust and smoke. It’s hard to even see a few feet in front of him but he looks over to where you last were with Tim and he can’t see anything. The dust is too thick and he can’t help but let the panic start to flood his blood again.
He has the helmet. His eyes are protected but what about yours? Your mask has a ventilator but what if it doesn’t work? Do you even communicate enough with Bruce to make sure your equipment is working? And Tim doesn’t have any eye protection or a ventilator. It doesn’t matter if you're on your own, you and Tim are Jason’s responsibility. He’s the most experienced. He should have known this wasn’t right. Something should have went off in his head. He should have fucking known. Why didn’t he know?
The dust starts to dissipate with every passing second and Jason gets a better glimpse where you and Tim last were. He swears he’s going to be sick as his heart stops beating as it shoots into his throat. There’s a pile of cement from the ceiling. A long pile where that part of the ceiling collapsed and there is no sight of blue or red. There’s not yellow or black. It’s just brown and grey.
No.
Jason gets to his feet as fast as his legs will allow him and he sprints over to the cement. Not you. Not you. Not you. It can’t be you. He grabs one of the cement blocks and starts trying to pull it away to make a hole in the pile. He can feel the panic taking over again.
It’s been better. It’s been better again since he started seeing Leslie again. He can feel the panic sometimes but it’s better. He can fight through it usually and it doesn’t cause him as much distress out in the field. But, now it’s coming back like a wrecking ball. It’s been easier because he hasn’t had someone to look out for. It’s been easier because he hasn’t had to worry even if he always does. It was always fine if he had to eat it. But, being here and digging through a pile of cement in hopes you’re both alive, that’s different.
If he had to die again, that'd be fine as terrifying as it is. But, the thought it being someone else, being people that he actually cares about, that's an entirely other story.
“Blue!” Jason yells as loud as his can, his voice is raw and he hates the sound of it in his ears. It sounds desperate and scared but he is both of those things. Not you. “Robin!” He calls after, this time stronger, hoping he’ll hear one of you yell back.
The thought of seeing you crushed brings instant tears to his eyes and his stomach twist. He thinks about how you haven’t talked in a month and that’s such a waste. Why the fuck didn’t he just call you? He should have fucking called you. He’s panicking and he hates it but seeing you dead is his greatest fear today. He knows what it’s like to die and to die scared. You were scared. You don’t deserve it. It can’t be you. Please, not you.
And he knows Dick is gonna kill him if Tim dies on his watch. Tim just started and he volunteered for this. He can't be punished for wanting to do something for the greater good, for just wanting to help. It can’t be Tim either. Somehow, you both need to be alive under this pile.
Jason’s teeth grit before he rips the helmet from his head, annoyed by the vision of it. And he gets to work on the cement again. You both have to be alive. There is not another option. You have to be. And then he gets a glimpse of a bright blue fabric.
Jason forgets how to breathe and he works faster, pulling the concrete away as fast as his muscles will even allow. He’s able to make a big enough hole in the pile to reach you and just as he looks into the hole, there’s movement. He still isn’t breathing as he waits to see who it is and not a single part of him can even think to hope who he wants it to be because it has to be both of you.
And then you look up at him.
Jason lets out a breath.
Your eyes are wide and your face is covered in dust, a stream of blood falling down the side of your face. But he can tell by the softness in your eyes that you're relieved to see him, too.
The building fell on you and Tim. The building fucking collapsed on you and you have no idea why you thought your cape would help but it was something you could try. And then you got pinned. You think you’d normally start to panic because you were practically entirely on top of Tim and you couldn’t move. You both could have been trapped there but you know Jason has a habit of living through some fucked up shit. Something in you knew if he made it, he’d be there. He’d never let either of you rot under a pile of concrete. You knew he’d come.
Jason always comes.
And then Tim looks up, too.
Jason shakes his head, looking down for a second to gather himself before he offers a hand. You take his hand in yours as Jason pulls you out. He’s careful but deliberate making sure you don’t slip. Once you're on solid ground, he wastes no time in looking you over, his hands coming to your cheeks.
Besides the blood coming from a small cut near your hairline, Jason doesn’t see any other visible injuries. It doesn’t bring him much relief because internal injuries are still a thing and he thinks you should all go to the Batcave and do some scans. For all he knows, it's a lot worse than a small cut and you have to get out of here quickly just to make sure. He just needs to make sure.
“Are you okay?” Jason asks quickly, still looking over you.
Your hands shake as they come to his hands on your cheeks. “I’m fine.” Your voice is soft as you answer him, your thumbs running over his hands. He looks absolutely terrified. You aren't sure you've ever really seen this look on his face before. “I’m okay.” You nod against him as you watch a small part of his face dissolve into relief as his eyes meet yours.
You feel okay though very shaky and weak. Your limbs and back are sore, your ribs feel a little achy but nothing feels wrong. A part of you feels a little out of body and terrified anyway, like there's leftover panic still running through your veins. Being crushed by a building wasn't something you thought would happen and it definitely wasn't something you were prepared for. Gong toe-to-toe with bad guys with guns and knives and fists is the easy part. The uncertainty of a bomb and a collapsing building is a bit horrifying. But, physically, you think you're okay.
“We gotta do some scans at the cave, alright? Make sure there’s no internal bleeding or some shit.” Jason keeps his eyes on yours, trying with everything in him to control the panic in his voice.
“I’m fine—“
“No.” Jason cuts you off. This is one risk he's not willing to take. Your life is the one risk Jason will never take no matter what you want to argue. “You don’t know that, okay?”
Suddenly, it's as if you're back on Amusement Mile that night. It was dark and gloomy, nothing too unusual for a night in Gotham City. But, it felt colder and it all felt wrong. The pit in your stomach gnawed and begged you to turn around. You remember knowing with the very sight of the yellow on the Robin cape. You remember how terrified you were walking up to his body, waiting for the confirmation of your biggest fear. You're thinking you might have shared a similar look to the one Jason is giving you now.
“Okay.” You agree with a gentle nod.
Jason sucks in a breath, his brows still pulled together with worry. "Good."
“Yeah, uh, a little help, please?” Tim calls from behind the two of you.
The two of you drop your hands and immediately turn around.
“Fuck, yeah sorry, man.” Jason rushes.
“Sorry!” You call as the two of you rush back to the hole in the pile Jason made to help Tim.
Once Tim is out of the pile, Jason and you look him over quickly, making sure he isn’t missing a limb and nothing is deformed.
“I’m fine.” Tim assures the two of you, not missing the worry between you. “That was crazy though.” Tim looks around with ease, almost like he’s unbothered. You and Jason give him a confused look. Why is he so fine? “We caught a zombie Deathstroke and are fighting a few demons. I was also shot and killed by Scarecrow.” Tim shrugs casually, already growing used to seeing his life in danger which is not nearly as reassuring as he thinks it is.
“Alright.” You roll your eyes, wishing he'd give some insight on how he's able to handle things well.
“Sure, man.” Jason nods his head, unsure if he's completely convinced someone can just walk away from major traumas perfectly fine. “We’re still doing a scan. Let’s get outta here.” Jason jerks his head towards where he threw his helmet.
“You, too.” You state as Jason grabs his helmet and starts walking towards the exit.
“Me, too what?” Jason asks, adjusting his helmet on his hip.
“Scans.” Tim adds in as him and you start to follow Jason. “If you’re forcing us, you have to, too.” Tim states, thinking that's probably a good idea for all of you anyway. Jason's limp doesn't go unnoticed by Tim and Tim can feel his shoulder starting to ache. He knows you took the brunt of the force.
“Aww, you’re learning." You chime.
Jason lets out a groan, swearing he's the one that's fine. He was not crushed by a building but he's not in the mood to fight with either of you. “Fucking fine.” He doesn’t bother protesting knowing damn well you will get what you want. You will win. You always win when it comes to him.
The three of you get on your bikes and head out of the city and to Wayne Manor, something Tim is very excited about. He wasn’t really going to complain about getting any scans done. Getting scans means going into the Batcave again and this time, it won’t be taken over by Crane. Getting scans means getting to actually hang out in the Batcave this time. Tim would never turn down the opportunity now.
You still want to protest but you saw the worry over Jason’s face. You feel fine besides a headache. But, you aren’t going to take the risk for Jason’s sake. You think back to the times you said you’d die for each other and you think that’s easy. You’d run in front of a bullet for him even today. It doesn’t matter but making sure you're okay enough to live feels harder. You don’t want to die or anything but maybe you’d normally brush this off and then that might be it. But, Jason looks at you with all the love his heart could muster and you can’t do it to him. You can live for him, too.
Once you’re at the manor, the three of you use the tunnel to enter the cave immediately. Jason and you go to the changing area, Tim following right behind you. There are always extra sweats there, just in case in a variety of sizes. You grab some for you and Tim while Jason grabs himself a pair. The three of you go off into different changing rooms and get changed before you meet out in the med area of the cave. You go for the scan first just to get it over with.
Tim of course sits beside Jason as they watch the imaging load. It was something Bruce taught him to look for when Jason first got hurt as Robin. They look for internal bleeding, broken bones, swollen organs, anything they can't see from the outside. They can’t just go to the hospital every time they’re hurt. That would raise some questions so they do the scans here. If something is serious, they can go. Which has yet to happen in Jason’s time as Robin. But, he takes what he learned from Bruce and he passes it onto Tim.
Once your scan is over, you join the boys, sitting beside Jason. The scan doesn’t take much longer to load and it seems everything is okay. It's a relief for all of you even if Jason isn't totally sitting with ease over it. It's a relief but there is something still making him worry anyway. But he keeps it to himself while Tim jumps up, ready for his turn. Once Tim is ready, Jason gets the scans going.
With Tim is the machine, that leaves you and Jason to yourselves and Jason can't quite keep his stare on the computer. You've been hurt before and he hasn't felt like this. Once you get confirmation you're fine, it starts to fade away but tonight, it's as if he's run out of places to dissolve his worry and paranoia. He's not sure what he'd do if something happened to you.
“Let me help.” Jason points to the cut on your forehead before he gets up and grabs some of the supplies.
“Oh, uh, yeah, okay.” You nod before you sit on the counter.
Jason takes out the alcohol pads and carefully wipes some of the blood, you hissing in response. Jason mumbles a quick apology but continues working. It’s not bad. Jason doesn’t even think you need stitches and he thinks you're lucky. You though, you're just watching him carefully. So much has changed and yet this feels like nothing has changed. It feels like it did that first night after Jerry. Something about him moving carefully, gently, but a little rough. He doesn’t say anything and he dodges your eyes. And you think your stomach is swirling and bubbling just as it did that night.
“What’ve you been up to?” You ask quietly, eyes looking right at him.
Jason pauses, looking at you before he goes back to cleaning the cut on your forehead. He shifts slightly, the feeling of being exposed starting to fade right over him. “Usual.” Jason answers. “Taking out dickwads, reading, researching, helping Babs.”
You looked in the mirror after you changed, the cut wasn't bad. He should be done by now but he's taking his time. He's still dodging your stare and he's minding his right leg. His mouth is pressed into a straight line. He's seemed okay besides tonight, happy even. You really hope this doesn't set him back because he should be happy. It's what he deserves. And you wonder if it was all just some sort of facade because Jason hates people knowing what he's thinking. Maybe it was just an act for Tim or for you for some reason.
You hope not.
“Are you happy?” You whisper to him, hoping he'll be honest if he's not and hoping he really is happy with the life he's making for himself.
Jason freezes.
Maybe in the grand scheme of life he is. Generally speaking, he thinks he’s happy most days. He isn’t miserable. And his relationship with Bruce is getting better and his relationship with all of the Titans is getting better. Molly is still one of his best friends. He likes what he does. But, he can’t quite bring himself to say he’s happy. It’s the ache in his bones he can’t shake and the white streak of hair that won’t go away. The Y scar that stares back at him when he looks in the mirror after a shower. The way his leg still fucking hurts sometimes and the nightmares. The panic attacks sometimes that seem to hit him like a freight train out of nowhere. The fact that he feels lonely.
He was so fine being alone for so long and then he was comfortable not being alone. Now, he’s just lonely. He lives alone and he spends a lot of time alone and it’s just lonely. His heart feels like it’s contracting in his chest while a lump finds its way at the base of his throat. And he misses you. Maybe he could live with that choice if it weren’t for everything else. But, he thinks he could live with everything else if he didn’t miss you so much.
“I don’t know.” Jason answers, not wanting to give the real answer but not wanting to lie entirely. “Are you?”
You think you're happy most of the time. You live with Molly so you aren’t alone and you're eternally grateful for that. And you have movie nights. You even have movie nights with Gar and Tim over FaceTime. You and Rachel talk a lot now and you’re on good terms. You love what you do and you love helping Babs. Bruce doesn’t want to kick you out of Gotham. Things feel like they’re getting better. The nightmares have gotten a little better even if you wake Molly up sometimes screaming. But the guilt always comes at night, weighing down every bit that could make you happy. The guilt of everything that happens just chews away part of your happiness as if you aren't allowed to be happy. And maybe you could live with it, if you didn’t miss Jason like you need oxygen. You miss him more than you could ever miss anything.
“I don’t know.” You answer the same way as if you understand and Jason feels seen so he shifts his feet, tossing the alcohol pads into the trash under the table. Jason presses his hands on the counter, resting them beside your thighs as he leans in slightly. He doesn't even fully realize he does it. “You deserve to be happy, Jay.” You keep your voice quiet as Jason’s brows pull together as if he’s in pain.
“So do you.” Jason nods once.
“What would make you happy?” You ask and aren’t sure why you did. Maybe you hope he’ll even jokingly say you and then that’ll give you a reason to tell your guilt to shut up and take a backseat. And you think he might say it because his eyes finally lock on yours and the pain in his face starts to fade.
He thinks it’s you.
“I don’t know.” He answers anyway because admitting it seems unfair to both of you. You’ve been here before and yeah, you both know. You both know it shouldn’t have been the way it was then but it’s different. He isn’t pushing to self-destruct. He just wants to be ready if he tells you and he isn’t sure he is. “What about you?” Jason asks, thinking if you say it, he’ll say it anyway.
You think it's him.
“I don’t know.” You echo and you shake your head before you lean forward, pressing your forehead against his. You feel him relax and you almost want to cry. Jason's hands slowly move onto your thighs and he wants to burst at the seams. You making the move tells Jason everything he needs to know. And Jason relaxing with his hands on your thighs tells you everything you need to know. It's still him and you. “Happy you’re here though…happy you were there tonight.” You say honestly.
“Me, too. Happy you came along tonight.” Jason says back as he pulls away but he keeps his hands on your thighs.
"Thanks for coming to save us." You offer him a subtle smile.
"Of course." Jason nods his head softly. "You and me?" Jason offers the same smile.
Your hand comes to his cheek, running a thumb along the skin and his shoulders relax. “You and me.” You echo.
It’s silent for a few seconds as if you’re both wanting to see where this will go. Unsure where you want it to go. Before, you both knew. You knew you wanted each other so you’d jump the second you could. But this isn’t that. You want each other but there is so much caution in it. You’re both terrified of overstepping boundaries and ruining whatever you’re trying to rebuild. You’re terrified of hurting each other again. You're both worried you aren't ready for something again. So as much as you both want each other, a part of both of you almost feels okay with waiting to make sure it’s right this time. For each other even if you both want to explode.
And then Tim clears his throat.
“Uh, so…am I gonna die again?” Tim quips making you and Jason pull apart.
“Yeah.” Jason answers immediately, glancing at the screen and earning a light tap from you which makes him laugh. Jason actually takes a second to look over the scans before finishing his sentence. “Eventually but not tonight. You’re fine.” Jason finishes.
“Shithead.” You mutter with the roll of your eyes but a smile finds itself across your lips.
“Babe.” Jason grins.
“You two are weird.” Tim mutters as he walks up to the two of you.
“Your turn.” You tap Jason on the shoulder.
“Yeah, yeah, alright.” Jason pulls in a breath and makes his way to the scan.
Once Jason is situated, you get the machine going before you look over Tim. The scans are clear and he seems fine. He actually looks really happy which you know is because he's sitting in the Batcave. He's still looking over the Batcomputer, his eyes wandering around the cave every so often. You can't say you blame him really but you're surprised and relieved he's handling things well.
"You can explore if you want, ya know?" You suggest.
"Really?" Tim's eyes nearly bulge out of his head.
"Yeah? You are Robin." You let out a soft laugh and before you can even say another word, Tim is out of his seat.
“What’s going on with you guys anyway?" Tim questions as he makes his way over to the case holding Jason's Robin suit, the blood still staining it. "Looked like I interrupted something.” Tim glances back at you and then the suit before he moves on.
“No.” You shake your head, keeping her eyes on the screen. “Catching up a little bit.”
Tim rolls his eyes and lets out a scoff. “You guys forgot I was crushed by a building." Tim defends, making his way over to the training area.
"I said I was sorry and so did he." You defend even though you know you'll be feeling guilty about that for awhile. "Don't tell Dick though."
"Wasn't going to." Tim chuckles softly. "Seems like there's something going on." Tim states as the cave falls silent. He looks over as you glare back him, very clearly unamused by his observation. "I'm just saying." Tim states as he shrugs his shoulders, going back to looking at the variety of knives Bruce has.
You let out a sigh and decide maybe you will ask Tim for his input. Everyone else knows so much about you and Jason, not just as a couple but as vigilantes. Tim, on the other, doesn't know that side of it. This is the first time Tim is actually even hanging out with Jason for more than a few minutes. He might actually be the perfect person to talk to.
“Alright, listen, can we talk about it later?” You ask. “I do honestly have a headache and to dig into that right now is not what I want to do. But we can talk about it later.”
“Alright.” Tim sighs as he starts making his way back to you.
“Any word about Bernard?” You ask as Tim takes his seat back beside you.
“No change.”
“I’m sorry, Tim.” You say softly. “You guys will figure it out. He’ll be okay.”
“Thanks.” Tim mutters as he leans onto his elbow.
Jason’s scans finish a few minutes later allowing him to rejoin the other two of you. You look over the scans, feeling relief come over you. You figured he was fine, Jason usually is. But, it is nice having actual confirmation he's okay even a part of you will still be glancing him over and watching him carefully just for extra security. Scans can be wrong.
“So?” Jason questions with a knowing look, knowing he is fine.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re fine.” You wave him off with eyes wide to mock him. “Just to be safe.”
“Yeah.” Jason pulls a breath into his lungs and he knows.
He wonders if you’ll always be more worried about him. With not talking now and the whole shit with Crane before, he hasn’t had too much time to even think about it. And you were so worried that whole time because of Crane and because he had just died. But, he wonders about now. Now that some of the dust has settled and you've been away from him. He can tell by how you're still glancing over him as if expecting him to start gushing blood from an invisible wound that you're worried. And he thinks you're more worried than you normally would be. A scan and a look over would usually be enough but not tonight. He wonders if it’s because he died. Maybe you’ll always be trapped in a spiral of worry knowing it might happen again.
Jason thinks that sounds like torture.
He wants to find a way to assure you he’s fine but he’s not really sure what he could possibly do. He’s not fine since dying. It’s hard to walk every day with that kind of weight around his chest but he is physically fine and he wants you to know that. He breathes today and he did yesterday. Before, he thinks he would have made a joke and then kissed you. It’s what he always did and it always calmed your nerves. You would have slept together and if he were injured, you would have known. It was always harder hiding any type of injury from you because either you’d see it, you’d catch him slipping, or he’d flinch when you laid down together. He can’t very well do any of that now. And he can’t possibly say anything because Tim is right here and the last thing Jason wants is to further expose himself to anyone else. So, he just bites back his comments and shrugs it all off.
“We can head back out if you guys are ready.” Jason suggests.
The three of you grab your things before you head from the Batcave and go back to Jason’s place. It’s quiet in your comms. Tim chalks it up to being tired, the adrenaline wearing off for all three of you. Jason just wants to get home and shake the night from his spine. You find yourself wondering if the gravity of vigilante life will ever wear off when something like tonight happens. You love it and you swear you do, it’s just really hard sometimes and you haven’t quite found the right way to cope with it.
You could have died tonight which is a reality most nights and it never seems like too big of a deal to you because it’s you and the person with a gun or a bomb or a knife. It’s just you. Not talking to Jason or seeing him has made it a little easier not to think about him doing the same thing. But tonight, the weight of loss collapsed your shoulders the second that roof fell. Jason pulled you out of the rubble. You heard the way his voice sounded, the tremble and the fear etched into his windpipe. You saw the look on his face when he pulled you out.
Panic. Relief. Panic. Terror. Anger.
And something else you don’t want to touch with a ten-foot pole.
Something about the idea of him suffering in the way you did makes you want to turn the bike around and go as far as you can without looking back. And you think about how he could have been hurt again. You and Tim were trapped easily. What if he was, too? What if the roof fell on him and he died? You aren’t so sure you’d be able to survive the loss of him again. Even as you are today.
When you get back, Tim says a quick goodbye to you before disappearing into the building. Jason takes his time though, watching your brows pinch together as your stare falls anywhere but on him.
“You alright?” He asks carefully.
You nod and offer him a fake smile. “Yeah, all good.” You chew the inside of your cheek and you just don't want to go home. Going home sounds scary and like maybe it won't feel quite like home this time.
Jason nods back. “What’s wrong?”
He keeps his distance from you. He’s standing three feet away from you and he’s thinking that’s for the best. You aren't normally quiet after missions like this. It's as if talking always reassures you that you're both fine. But, tonight you were quiet and you look uncomfortable in your own skin. Jason doesn't want to overstep. He doesn't want to move closer and that be the real problem. You got a little close in the cave and Jason knows how you are with that. He's betting you still like to run so, he keeps his distance for right now.
“Nothing, why?” You ask and you keep your stance from him.
You want to kiss him and tell him you're glad he’s okay. You said it but you want to kiss him until he knows fully. Jason has never been one to take words at face value. He responds better with action and the only way you know to show your love for him is by touch. But, that's not fair to either of you. You would give anything to go back to how it was even if it's just for one night. You wish you could both forget everything that happened, pretend none of it happened. It would be so much easier that way.
“I always know when something’s wrong.” Jason sucks in a breath and he didn’t think he’d be the one pulling for answers from you.
You shake your head and lying to him never came easy.
You swore you’d never lie to him.
“Scary.” Your voice is so small and Jason almost closes the distance between you to engulf you in the tightest hug he could manage without hurting you.
But he cements his feet to the ground below him.
“You’re okay, though. So, is Tim.” Jason assures, his words careful.
“Yeah…” Your voice is still so small and Jason takes one step closer to you, knowing you and Tim aren't your full concern.
“I’m fine, ya know? Like…all good.” Jason keeps his voice level as his eyes scan over your face, looking for any change.
“No, I know.” You nod softly, your voice bigger this time.
You're worried he isn’t. The scans say he is and he says he is. You know he wouldn’t lie to you with you being worried. You know but you're worried anyway. He gets a second chance and he deserves it. He deserves it so much and you just want him to be happy and healthy. You want him to be able to live as the Jason Todd you fell in love with. You don’t want him to have any more trauma to try and bear. You aren’t so sure he could bear it anymore.
You think what would have happened if you didn’t get lucky tonight.
No part of you has to guess how it would go.
He’d blame himself. He’d torture himself inside and out just like you did.
“Just…” You shake your head. “Can you promise me something even if it’s not very fair?” Your eyes finally land on his.
“What?” Jason asks.
“If-if, uh, something happens to me…like anything, c-can you, uh,…not blame yourself, please?” You ask. “I-I know how you are and I saw the way you looked at me tonight. I know what it’s like and…” Your voice trails off.
“What?” Jason pushes, trying to wrap his head around the question. Of all the things you could be worried about, you're worried about how he'd react to you dying.
“I don’t want you to suffer for it.” You state. “You’ll torture yourself, I know you will. So, if something happens to me, can you promise me you won’t do that? Because I would never blame you.”
“What if it is my fault?” Jason scoffs. “Tonight--”
“It won’t be.” You cut him off entirely with so much certainty, it freezes Jason. “I know, despite it all, you would do everything to make sure I was okay. You, uh, you have always just, uh, j-just tried to keep me safe. So, if something happens, I know it won’t be your fault.”
“Nothing’s gonna happen anyway.” Jason answers back, digging his feet in because even a hypothetical question sends his head into a panic.
“But something did happen, Jay!” You yell back in desperation. “Something did!" Your eyes water before your voice comes back down. "I don’t want you to be like me.”
You nearly beg him and Jason is so thrown by what you say, he has to pause and try to understand. He swears you're the best person he has ever met. He loves you. He knows that it got messy but he also knows between those lines, him dying changed a part of you. It led you into a guilt you can’t shake and that he feels is on him. The least he can do is make the promise and try to keep it but he swears nothing can happen to you. He can’t let anything happen.
“Then you have to stop fucking blaming yourself, too.” Jason states back. “I died. That’s not on you." Jason says it so bluntly you nearly choke on your own heartbeat. "I promise but…you gotta promise me then you’re gonna stop blaming yourself, too. There was nothing you could have done.” The words are sour and bitter on his tongue. Knowing it was his fault he got himself killed is one of the hardest pills for him to swallow.
You nod your head softly and you can’t make the promise but you can promise to try. “I promise to try.”
“Good.” Jason states and he watches you tug your sleeve down over your wrist. Maybe he is very worried about you, too. Tonight was heavy and a lot to handle even if it all worked out. It almost didn't. Maybe it’s stupid but he doesn’t want to be alone tonight and he’s betting you don’t either. “Did, uh, did you wanna stay tonight?” Jason asks.
“W-what?” You stutter, the question catching you off guard.
“Did you wanna stay here?" Jason asks again, this time trying to make his voice sound far more casual than he's feeling. "Look, it’s not like we haven’t done this shit before.” Maybe he’s worried the scans are wrong, too and he just wants to look out for you. He misses you. “Just friends.” Jason assures you.
You were really hoping he'd ask.
“Can you, uh..."
“Of course.” Jason finishes before you get the chance to finish because he already knows. “I get to pick though, you picked the last three books.” Jason says with a tender smile and he gets one in return.
“Okay, Jay.” You nod as you take a step forward. “Thank you.”
“You and me.” Jason offers her his signature smirk with the casual shrug of his shoulders.
You stick your hand out and Jason takes it with ease. “You and me.” You echo while Jason pulls you closer to him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders before the two of you walk into the building.
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