#<< this is about 70% a joke that is incomprehensible because i have not posted the context here

[ghoul-haunted]

okay I'm done with valentinian 3, back to drawing comics about valens

[marzipanandminutiae]

Maybe I’m wildly misunderstanding what people who like the dark academia aesthetic are going for but I always thought the aesthetic was specifically about romanticizing those universities in England (or Europe in general) that were founded in like 1736 and the main building was originally a castle that belonged to the family that founded it or something like that. Obviously that’s a very niche university environment but I never thought that fans of the aesthetic thought that every single university looks like that. My university was built in the 70s and looks like a small town’s airport so I understand the appeal of escapism in pretending that you go to university in a marble building that has a secret library or something. I’m not criticizing your post btw I agree with you i guess I understood the purpose of the aesthetic wrong. I thought they just liked the old money aesthetic of those schools, not that they believed you’re not truly academic if your school doesn’t look like an ancient university in Prague.

So, yes, that is where the term came from

my issue with it is that they don't seem to know any other term for aesthetics they happen to have seen in a fancy university, anymore and totally unrelated things get slapped with the "dark academia" label

Oxford doesn't look like that because that's an ~academia aesthetic~. it looks like that because those were popular architectural styles of whenever X building was constructed. you are going to see those styles in other places! that doesn't make like...an 18th century commercial building "dark academia!"

like I've seen the term applied in completely random and incomprehensible ways. a marble bust is Dark Academia? HOW? is it in a university? or is it in an art museum where people are there to look at it, not to study it? is it in Mr. Darcy's house, where that classification makes even less sense? why is it somehow Academia when no Academia is in evidence?

an Art Deco theatre lobby. no joke. saw that tagged "dark academia." it could not have been more clearly a theatre lobby. I asked OP why they called it that, and they said it was just "the vibe." academia is not a vibe!!!! the word has a definition and the definition has nothing to do with aesthetics!!!!

my favorite movie, Crimson Peak, gets slapped with the DA label a lot. because...I don't know; there are ghosts and books in the same building? the heroine is a writer, sure, but absolutely none of it takes place in an institution of public scholarship or higher learning. there's a publisher's office, a doctor's office, and a private library in a house (that doesn't even get used for its intended purpose beyond a single scene). that's it. it's a pretty standard Victwardian Gothic.

the term DOES have function as a fictional genre; it describes a story pretty well. what happens? Dark Stuff. where? Academia. okay, I'm intrigued. but for aesthetics? no meaning or use at all, IMO

so I know they're not saying that ALL universities look like that. they're somehow saying that EVERYTHING that looks like that is University. which annoys me

(I also think "old money aesthetic" is more TikTok brainrot. I work a lot of museum benefits with old money people. they dress in many different ways, very few of them like a Kennedy vacationing on the Cape in 1965. just say "preppy" if that's what you mean!)

(and as with Dark Academia, it leads to a lot of things that have nothing whatsoever to do with the oldness of one's money getting labeled that way. which is annoying.)

[cin-cant-donate-blood]

I think there is something really tragic about those posts that are like "man can you imagine future archaeologists reading our posts" because I don't actually believe even a fraction of all the things we say will survive for very long.

We supposedly live in an information age where everything is recorded, and people say that once something is on the internet, it is there for ever, but this is clearly not true.

Most of the internet is managed by corporations, and when a certain website dies, there is absolutely no incentive to spend all the money necessary to preserve ecerything that was ever posted. Maybe Archive.org will have saved a lot, but it can't save everything.

Even right now internet history going back as recently as the 90s is really spotty. A lot of forums and sites are simply lost to time.

And maybe one day Archive.org will run out of money too, and everything they preserved will be lost, not in a dramatic bang like the fire in the Library of Alexandria, but with a whimper, like the many thousands of times more documents that have been lost simply because no one copied them in the few decades they had before the mold or worms or whatever else got to them.

Think of Sappho and Catullus, two of the most celebrated poets of ancient Greece and Rome respectively. Both were prolific, and both were titans, widely celebrated for their extraordinary work, long after their deaths.

Both had a single century or two where people got tired of them, and almost every single thing they ever wrote was irrecoverably lost, because books do not last forever, especially not the ones written on papyrus, which was the dominant medium at the time and has a quoted life span of about 70 years unless stored in nearly perfect conditions (desert conditions, which is why we associate papyrus with Egypt).

All we have now are a handfull of fragments of their work. They are, once again, and perhaps forever, celebrated as geniuses, but we can't ever undo that single, brief moment where the majority of their work was lost forever, not out of malice, but out of indifference.

Everything not actively, painstakingly, expensively maintained will be lost, inevitably and irretrievably. Stone carvings last longer, but they're horribly space inefficient. The invention of parchment, which can survive centuries, greatly improved things, but that too is extremely expensive compared to paper or papyrus. Modern digital storage is the same; we just made the copying process easier.

One day, tumblr will die. It is as inevitable as your death or mine. Or the death of the sun. In fact, tumblr will probably die within our lifetimes. When it dies, some things will be saved, but many will not. Some will miss it, but most will forget. Out of millions of posts, perhaps a few hundred thousand survive as jpeg screenshots on reddit, instagram, or whatever sites survive tumblr. Then, as those die, perhaps ten thousand screenshots of screenshots carry on to new social media sites, as of yet not made. And then a thousand of those survive as those sites die.

And maybe those will be the thousand best, and maybe some expert will even be able to tell you that they're screenshots of tumblr, and in a few words what tumblr was, but what even is the thousand best? Every copying act is a choice by someone who thought it was worth copying. Tastes change, and as they do, maybe one generarion's favorite is destroyed by the neglect of the next.

Tumblr isn't special. This is the future of all social media. Echos will persist, but so much will be lost.

So maybe, one day, an internet archaeologist will find your silly tumblr post about how crazy it would be if someone was reading what you said centuries from now. Unfortunately, there will be so much context missing. Maybe your post will be one of a mere hundred remaining, most of which make references to in-jokes and memes long forgotten: incomprehensible and empty. Like the statue in Ozymandias: nothing beside remains.

I'll end this with a poem from the lost poets I mentioned, and since this is tumblr, why not a gay one? Both Catullus and Sappho have their share of love poems dedicated to members of the same sex, but the partial poem known as Sappho 31 is probably the most well known. This is Edward Storer's translation:

He seems like a god to me the man who is near you,

Listening to your sweet voice and exquisite laughter

That makes my heart so wildly beat in my breast.

If I but see you for a moment, then all my words

Leave me, my tongue is broken and a sudden fire

Creeps through my blood. No longer can I see.

My ears are full of noise. In all my body I

Shudder and sweat. I am pale as the sun-scorched

Grass. In my fury I seem like a dead woman,

But I would dare...

... and that's it. The ending has never been found. Scholars think anywhere between a few lines and half the poem is missing.

[kokocharm]

This post is about my OC Montserrat- short, Mont. This post will go over their backstory, the AUs they are prominent in, details, relationships and more. It is recommended you scroll.

INTRODUCTION

Montserrat gets their name from the font Montserrat- it is also the font they speak in. They are transfem, nonbinary and lesbian, and strictly use femme terms and they/them pronouns.

Originally, Mont started as an oc-insert for the Handplates AU created by zarla. I've since heavily deviated from that story, though you will most certainly be able to see the resemblence. Handplates was a huge AU Fixation for me when Fallen Deep first began, so.. sorry, Zarla XD

Mont's first appearance was in a roleplay called Fallen Deep, originally as a side character. They made their debut when the two main characters, Max and Alberto, accidentally entered Gaster's old lab. They were nearly incomprehensible (and I quote, "Hiiiiya! M'names Mont. Who're ya? Aint seen nobod' down in the labs since liiiikee..... real long time ago.") Horrifying, truly. They spoke with a lot of 70s-90s lingo and abbreviated words, as their ability to talk in emoticons and text abbreviations has been a long-running joke through all of their dialogue. This calms down signicantly in later appearances.

While they are usually a silly jokester who will brutally shatter the fourth wall with a crowbar by either looking at the audience or even mentioning the authors by name ("By the way, Denzel, I've killed you two times. You're only here now thanks to Mel.") Mont does have their downward spirals. Their official diagnosis is bipolar disorder, BPD, and- unsurprisingly- C-PTSD. (Disclaimer that I've done a fair amount of research on both of these disorders and I am medically recognized with PTSD.) Both manic and depressive episodes are shown in multiple AUs, often worsened by a trigger.

STORY

As stated before, this all started because I was fixated on Handplates. Since then, much has changed, and I really do suggest you go read Handplates! It's a beautiful story with gorgeous artwork :3 this is not meant to be a copy of that AU (though with the way the fandom is sometimes, I wouldn't be surprised) and I hope these can be read seperately (Read: Fallen Deep)

TRIGGER WARNING: childhood abuse, medical experimentation, dehumanization, suicide

When the monsters were first locked in the underground, the head scientist was devasted. Who wouldn't be? The barrier was in place- there was surely no escape.

W.D Gaster was a genius, though. He is well aware of this fact. He's the head scientist, for crying out loud! This will not phase him. He will find a way out of this cavern no matter what it takes, and that is an oath he took very seriously.

While he couldn't begin his research immediately, Gaster did find some things about the barrier that would stick with monsterkind long after his forgotten demise. The CORE was his brilliant worksmanship, but a mere side project in his long-term goal.

When all monsters were finally settled down and Gaster had a place to do his work, he did. He begun as soon as he could, at least seven years after being locked underground. He discovers the key to what might be monsterkind's freedom; energy unrecognized by the human mage's own magic.

Think about it. The skeleton race had long since died out- it was a miracle Gaster was even here. If there were other skeletons around the globe, then he sure didn't know them. Gaster knew of some place that many didn't: the Void. The Void was hardly even rumored to be a real place, let alone something Gaster could use. But if it freed monsterkind, it freed monsterkind. He'd have to try.

And.. if he failed (which was undocumented, virutally impossible.)... there were always the other scientists.

And with a bit of messing around, maybe an explosion and power outage here and there.. he suddenly now finds himself with three skeletons. Whoopsie dasies, that was not what he had been intending to do. um. shit. He had been trying to harness the Void, not parenthood! Good grief, the universe got that mixed up.

Well, he wasn't too keen on just dropping these three off somewhere in Waterfall and calling it a day. He had to remind himself that in science, especially such as unpredictable as the Void, he should make use of his resources.

Actually.. maybe this was the missing piece. Of course he wouldn't be able to use the Void with a mere object- the Void did not work like that. The Void was a connection. Maybe he just needed to connect it to something else... like a living organism. He'd figure out how to explain THAT one to King Asgore later.

The three skeletons were deemed as 1, 2 and 3 by their creator. 1 was the biggest, uncomfortably resembling Gaster himself. 2 and 3 were, unfortunately, twins, and uncomfortably resembled Gaster's old spouse. Especially the smallest and weakest, number 3. Gaster wasn't even sure whether it'd survive or not for the first week or two as he gave their bodies time to sturdy themselves.

Oh how he wished he had let the third one perish. (From here on out, I will be using their true names. Mont will be referred to as the pronouns they had gone by at the time.)

Gaster never bothered to teach them how to communicate, so fine! What Mont lacked in physicality he made up for in intelligence. He slowly taught himself to read and how to talk, and shared his discoveries with his brothers. Partially, he did it only to piss off Gaster, who he had learned was his least favorite person out of the three people he did know.

Because of this, Gaster separated Mont from his brothers, which.. okay, from a crazy scientist perspective, was completely fair. It was quite unfortunate for Gaster, though, because Mont was hellbent on making his experiments so much harder than they needed to be. He'd constantly enter his office to find the little bastard sitting on his chair, nose-deep in a book about quantum theory or somethong, and when he wasn't harrassing him, he was telling the other creations stuff they really didn't need to know.

While the other two stood out in their own ways, Mont was.. interesting. She was much more intelligent than her brothers, and while her body infuriatingly weak, she did seem to get the hang of her magic much, much quicker than her brothers. She had figured out how to teleport at the ripe age of three (in skeletal years), and while it was one of the most annoying things Gaster had ever had the misfortune of dealing with, it was fascinating. One thing he did also note was that she had figured out how to evade his grasp until blue magic was used- she used her teleporting ability to make up for her physical state. Mont knew that she would never be as strong as her brothers- just being hit in the head with a crowbar could dust her in an instant. If she wanted to survive, magic was going to be her best friend. She used agility to disguise teleportation.

It was unfortunate that what Mont thought was cleverness was going to be her downfall.

Gaster first intended to see whether the Void would latch onto the body or magic. And if this killed her, well.. he always had two other backups.

So to embrace the Void Gaster intended, and embrace the Void Mont did.

By some miracle, Mont survived. But the experience was enough to get them to finally calm down in tormenting Gaster, at least a little bit. He finally seemed to have gained Mont's obedience, and all it took was a bit of agonizing pain and probably a near-death experience.

Since Mont is separated from their brothers, they are never found by the construction crew who entered the lab and discovered two little skeletons. Since Mont was separated from their brothers, they never got to hear about the suicide of the... um. The, er..

...the who? Huh. That was weird. And hey, where did these two skeletons come from? What kind of language are they speaking? It must be from the olden times...

So for years to come, Mont stayed within the lab, now lost to the Void. They explored the lab up and down, memorizing every nook and cranny. They read every book available to them over and over (coming to the terrifying conclusion that their world was nothing but fiction and that as soon as their creator lost interest, they'd disappear, too.) They played every game they knew, and even made new ones to keep themself busy. They searched the lab everywhere for an exit, to find none. And when they got tired of all of that, they read through Gaster's files on them and their brothers.

They did everything they could to try and avoid the inevitable conclusion: they had been left behind.

This is around the time their bipolar really started showing, as their first true depressive episode hit, they detached themself from reality. They stayed in their dingy old room, pleading it not to be true. But Mont was no fool. They knew damn well there was no way out.

And suddenly, there is life.

The creature claims itself to be Montserrat's emotions, though we will call it the Voidserpent. And when your emotions take physical form when you are suicidal... it turns out that your emotions want to KILL you!? Yeah, Mont decided that being sad was overrated. Because now they had to spend their time running from this total lunatic. Yeeeeesh.

In total, Mont spent about twenty (human) years down in that lab, eleven of them consisting of fleeing. You can probably see why they are totally batshit insane now.

Meanwhile, back up in the real world, a 19 year old Voidwolf has just been officially promoted into the team of Royal Scientists. This very small team includes Compass and, her role model, Doctor Alphys.

Cleudo immediately began her own side project, next to assisting Dr. Alphys in whatever she needed assistance with. See, Cleudo was always fascinated with history of all kinds. And when she discovered the lack of history surrounding skeletons, she knew something had to be up. This is how she rediscovered the Void, and it's connection to the CORE. Being a Voldwolf, Cleudo has always had a special connection with the Void. It's no wonder that they're the only one who ever tried to enter the Void safely.

While there, Cleudo discovered a lab. An entire lab, sitting abandoned. When she entered, she was greeted by a skeleton. A tall, strict looking one with holes in his hands. She was even more intruiged, and decided to follow him.

Although, this lasted about five minutes before another tiny skeleton came out of practically nowhere, hitting the taller skeleton in the head with what they claimed to be the greatest weapon of all time: knowledge. Aka, a college-ruled notebook. They explained that the skeleton she had originally met was a, quote unquote, "shapeshifting lunatic who wants me dead because apparently this place thinks it's funny to bring my suicidal ideations to life." They introduce themself as Montserrat, but Mont is fine.

Cleudo has NO fucking idea what Mont is talking about, but she's overjoyed nevertheless. They offer to take Mont back to the surface, and while Mont is skeptical at first, they agree.

Imagine their surprise when they discover that Cleudo was not, in fact, a hallucination.

It took a little while for Mont to adjust to the true world. They had to learn social cues, manners... how to speak English (it's a relief that Cleudo understands WingDings). About everything you'd expect from a socially recluse 21 year old who thinks "ur mom" jokes are the funniest thing mankind has thought of.

AUs [story-prominent]

FALLEN DEEP: Mont first appears in Fallen Deep, where their story highly differs from their true story. The main role they play in Fallen Deep is the antagonist. They meet Max and Alberto and are led out of the lab, where they unite with Compass, who has been researching their disappearance. They take a major role in the story when Max and Alberto battle Omega Flowey, hopping AUs and bringing them to an Underswap variant. Once the three head back home, the goal shifts from "escape the Underground" to "find Gaster." Gaster has been hopping AUs, and its the gang's job to stop it. Mont eventually betrays Max and Alberto, revealing that in their travels, they had been taking a bit of each Sans' SOUL to empower themselves to go after Gaster alone. Their fate is ultimately reached when Max stabs them in the back- literally. Instead of death, the SOULs they absorbed are just enough to save them, reforming them on a dark island known as Mont's Island. They spend the rest of their time here to think about their actions.

EVERYTHING STAYS: ES was where they truly shone. Them, along with Zarlidin, were two of the main characters, joining the Star Sanses. Mont had an investigation going on: What happened to the original Star Sanses? Sci and Alter were in charge, claiming to talk to "The Star." In the end, Mont and Zarlidin bust Sci for locking Ink, Dream and Blue in a room for a thousand years. The next major plot points involve The Shadow being uncovered as Fresh, who had been even more of a multiversal mystery, and the defeat of Error404. This is actually the first ever complete RP me and Mel have done.

EVERYTHING LIVES: The detective duo is back, baby. An alternate ES timeline where Error404 wins, completely destroying everything in the multiverse. In one final attempt to save the Underverse, Ink does a True ERASE, setting everything back thousands of years. He and a select group of other Guardians have been sealed away in temples, locked within small stones. Mont and Zarlidin battle their way to free all of the guardians, and try and find out just who did this.

EVERYTHING FALLS: After the events of Everything Stays, everything is peaceful. The kids of the Daycare can finally grow up peacefully... at least, until Mont suddenly disappears, and Zarlidin leaves just days later. Mont is dead, and this AU centers around Alix and the Daycare kids, but they are mentioned multiple times to be haunting Zarlidin (see: WHERE'S YO HEAD AT?)

EVERYTHING LIVES AND STAYS WORLD: FNaF World AU, where all the characters are replaced with people Zarlidin knows. No, I don't know how I got this idea. Mont is so worried for Zarlidin's safety that they do some investigating on Sci's invention to put Blue and Ink to sleep for thousands of years. They do so, claiming that Zarlidin had been killed by the Shadow, and continue to live this lie until they think it's safe. Meanwhile, in Zarlidin's Dreamscape, there are three different Mont's: Guide, Rainbow and Serrat's Revenge. These three replace the characters Fredbear, Chica's Magic Rainbow, and Chipper's Revenge.

DeltaStays: The Deltarune of Everything Stays. We never did get too far with this, but the main gist is that Zarlidin follows Susie and Kris into the Dark World. Mont takes place as Jevil and Spamton, and not much is known about why this is. Maybe they just want to fuck around, or maybe they have deeper intentions. Who knows.

EAST PLAYGROUND (name pending): The most recent AU; an aftermath of Everything Stays, where a group of the Stars get thrown into South Park. Zarlidin, being Voidtouched, is the first to realize that something's off. They don't know how they got there, but they now take the shape of humans, posing as fourth graders. Their mission is to find all of the Stars, and.. try not to get roped into any of the main four's adventures, though that's easier said than done.

UNDERFORT: Woah, a Cookie Run AU. Roquefort has fallen into the Underground, and.. Roguefort is totally being a dick. Snowdin is where they meet Montserrat, who decides to fuck around with them a bit before helping. Unfortunately, a certain destroyer thought one anomaly (Roque) was one too many, and completely wrecks the AU. Mont escapes to the Void with Roquefort, and kind of loses their shit. But they're willing to help Roquefort get home, even if Mont is kind of pissed off at them.

These AUs are all shared with @dinobitez, my partner. But Underfort is done with @phantom-detective :3

RELATIONSHIPS

GASTER - Considering that there's an AU centered around them comitting global genocide on multiple occassions because of this man, I think it's safe to say they despise him with their heart and soul.

PAPYRUS - Mont loves this guy. They are one of his biggest supporters in everything he does. They made spaghetti once and nearly made Papyrus cry because it tasted so bad (Sans thought it was hilarious)

SANS - These two are.. pretty iffy with each other. Sans doesn't like the way Mont acts sometimes, but most of this suspicion comes from the defensiveness he felt back in the lab, always seeing Mont with Gaster.

CLEUDO - Cleudo (at least, in Everything Lives), is Mont's romantic interest. Mont has NO IDEA what a crush is and has confessed to Cleudo about 30 different times. Cleudo chooses to act oblivious until they realize.

ALPHYS - They HATE her. So much.

MAX - Max and Mont were always really close in Fallen Deep, with Mont serving as a big sister role. Mac was crushed during Mont's betrayal, and he was really the only reason Mont didn't continue with their spree when their island came to be. In East Playground, when ES!Mont is present, Max immediately begins to seek them out knowing that they are present. Things.. do not go well.

ZARLIDIN - Mont's best friend!! These two have been through hell for one another. He's very much their favorite person, and have actually harrassed his dad on multiple occassions because of what he did LMAO

CONCLUSION

live laugh montserrat

(art by @dinobitez)

[exploding-carrots]

I’ve been wanting to draw or write out my ‘future’ Bottom ideas for a while but haven’t gotten around to it. So here’s a long post of some head canons and a general story line of them vaguely developing as people at some point set after the live shows. If anything this is just sort of my personal AU for the characters getting together. Mostly focused on the progression of Richie and Eddies relationship and my thoughts on both of them being trans

- They’re both trans, (a lot of Ades characters give me trans dudes vibes but that is 70% me wanting to time travel and body swap w the man) Eddie is a bi trans dude (who medically transitioned young, but is not necessarily out as either) and Richie is a closeted/repressed bi trans woman who begins to come to terms w it during the whole island era

- Richie is also intersex, which while yeah is sort of canon in a mean way, is sort of important to me for the character 🤭 However she is not aware of the fact

- Eddie is dyslexic and has ADHD which both contribute to him struggling on and off (which was really just a gag they went with when funny) with reading/writing depending on how well he can focus on it at any given time (example: the Edies Bra sign vs the grave stone). I am not even going to attempt to say what is going on w Richie but the woman is a mess of unresolved issues and trauma complications

- After everything they go through in the live shows they do somehow make it back to the flat which is unexplainably the exact way they left it.

- Every single joke about Richie going off and fucking dudes from the live show is taken as fact. It is the most poorly kept secret amongst the cast. They literally do not talk about it unless Eddie is trying to make a point or piss off Richie

- Eventually Eddie IS trying to piss off Richie and does bring up everything about her sex life and the clothes, and... well everything else. After a ridiculous fight it somehow turns into an almost semi-serious conversation. Eddie makes the assumption that Richie is gay and Richie counters with the fact that she is genuinely interested in women but it’s a hell of a lot easier to get attention from specific types of men. Gets some wheels turning in both of their heads

- Personality wise they never really calm down, but they do start to slow down a little bit as it takes them longer and longer to recover from their fights. Obviously there is still the odd dart to the forehead or gentle push down the stairs but the ridiculous games and completions they make up take center stage

- they get weed at some point (Dave Hedgehog and Spudgun seems like a feasible source, because let’s be honest if Richie and Eddie tried to buy weed it would not work) that leads to all sorts of embarrassment because Eddie gets crossfaded as all get out and starts hitting on Richie. Which while having a precedent in their history (I mean, the first episode gives us that right away) takes on a new sort of meaning once the concept of bisexuality has been rolling around in their heads. Nothing particularly saucy happens at this point Bc they are high, drunk, and old but all of the actual acknowledgement of feelings start to really develop after this point

- in an attempt to do something with her time Richie picks up sewing and picks up where she left off with the wrap skirt and rubber underwear she made on the island. Starts to really develop the little wardrobe she wears when she’s alone. It’s a mix of the same awful button up shirts she always wears and some dresses and skirts along with a couple pairs of sexier (for Richie at least) under garments

- eventually Eddie comes home while Richie is still in her feminine clothing. Eddies Reaction is different from the first time he saw her dressed up that way since now there is a precedent. Eddies approach is much more “playful teasing” and fake surprise than it was previously.

- Slowly Richie starts dressing up around the flat more and more often as opposed to just when alone. Eddie ramps up with the pet names and husband/house wife dynamic they already had going on.

- THE MOMENT is when Eddie is leaving the flat to go to the bar and there is an ‘accidental’ kiss on the cheek along with his usual good byes. Eddie realizes what has happened immediately and bolts before Richie can say anything. Richie has a moment of “teehee that was nice” still in her little fucking house wife head space before it catches up w her.

- Richie panics, paces around the flat, gets changed like 8 times, cooks dinner, throws it away, takes it out of the trash, paces more, breaks like 8 things, and essentially just fluctuates between “Ooo Eddie fancies me” to “oh fuck the bastard is making fun of me again” to “it was an accident and Eddie is going to make it into a fight” back to “ooo Eddie fancies Me~”

- eventually Eddie comes home, pissed to hell and back way later than he’d normally come home. Richies passed out on the couch. Eddie wakes her up by pushing her over on the couch so he can sit. Eddie says something along the lines of “I’m fucking drunk so I’m only going to say this one” before saying some incomprehensible drunken rambling and pulling Richie into an awkward full kiss. It’s a nice moment for maybe about 5 seconds before he stands up again, pulls a pint out of his jacket, chugs it and says something about drunkenly passing out before doing just that across the coffee table.

- Richie just sort of gawks at Eddie sleeping across the table before giddily tossing a blanket over him and heading off to actually go to bed.

- relationship wise this really just sort of introduces a sexual/physical dynamic to their relation while ramping up their camp version of domestic life

- it’s Spudgun and Dave Hedgehog who actually say something to Eddie about it. They’ve always been in on the “oh look, it’s Eddies terrifying wife” thing. Probably only actually say something about it after the 2nd or 3rd actual display of physical affection they witness. It’s more of one of them asking Eddie if Richie really is his wife (in that half aware sort of way they observe things). This alone doesn’t change much, but it does takes a lot to get through to any of these repressed bastards

- Richie grows accustomed to the more feminine/soft pet names that Eddie uses for her. At one point Eddie uses more traditionally masculine terms which sets off “oh actually I am not a fan of that” in Richies head and leads her to asking Eddie to not refer to her that way. Leads to an awkward half coming out on Richies part. Eddie does genuinely switch up how he refers to Richie at this point and her gender just sort of becomes an silent fact that they both respect. Everyone else sort of knows them as those weirdos who have some sort of common law marriage going on and it’s not really questioned. This is the point where Richie starts to earnestly medically transition without really saying to much about, canonically she has been on estrogen pills before (even if it was a ‘mistake’)

- End game is essentially just them being casual about their identities and relationships in a unspoken sort of “well that’s just how it is” way that naturally sort of bleeds into a the other aspects of their lives.

- Additional note on Eddie being trans: Richie is already vaguely aware of this fact Bc obviously they’ve been seen what the other is working with at one point or another but the fact that she is unaware that she herself is intersex and has a skewed sort of idea about genitals and peoples bodies Richie genuinely does not think about it all too much. Eddie assumes that she knows, especially as they get older and casually refers to being trans (in my mind probably during the entire “Edwina” disguise thing. I imagine Eddie wearing the dress came down to the clothing size and some off hand comment about him “having experience”, which is total shit Bc even before he transitioned Eddie never presented that way). That’s probably around the point that things start to click in Richies head about Eddies identity and she starts comparing and contrasting Eddie to other ppl and such.

[leturtz]

COVID-19

Today, I went into public specifically to Stop & Shop. My boyfriend needed to pick up his prescription at the pharmacy and my mother needed some things from the grocery store as well. Before going out, my boyfriend and I prepared accordingly. We put on our masks, layered our clothes, brought extra gloves, and Clorox wipes to disinfect things as we went through this process. Of course it feels like a lot to do just to go out to the grocery store, but this is a very rare time in the world. While we were at the store, there were maybe 30 people in the whole store and about a third of them were wearing some sort of PPE in response to the pandemic. We were turning down one aisle when this older man was walking passed us in the opposite direction. We weren’t expecting what had happened next. With what I know about age, this man appeared to be in his 70′s if not 80′s and did not have any mask on or gloves. For my boyfriend and I, respecting other people is always our main concern unless they have given us a reason not to. After passing us, when he was about 7 to 8 feet away, he said “Oh my god, people are ridiculous. Just ridiculous” as he shook his head in disapproval and looked back at us like we were alien to him. It was that moment that I was genuinely moved and knew I’d be writing something when I returned home. As a 25 year old in generally good health, I am not very concerned about my own health during this time. The corona virus has so far only been fatal to the elderly and those with underlying conditions. Despite realizing I am not directly at risk, certain members of my family are older, or have underlying conditions, or both. In order for those members in my family to remain safe and healthy, I must protect myself too. Younger people have proven to be carriers and beacons for this virus to thrive and spread. I of course worry about my family first, but as rare as this quality is- I actually care about the health of even the people I may not personally know. The man spoke these words because he simply needed us to hear them. He raised his voice to a suitable volume and made a spectacle in order to express how he felt. In my personal opinion, I believe this man needed to validate himself this way because he too, is scared. Regardless of my beliefs during this pandemic, and how I think it is absolutely necessary to sanitize and take precautions for our loved ones and all people, I also believe in just respecting people. If you do not wish to wash your hands and wear a mask when you go to the food store, that’s your personal choice. Everyone has a right to carry out their lives in the way they feel is necessary, but there is utterly no reason to be disrespectful to those who feel differently. I was wearing a mask not just for my family, but for that old man, and others that may fall into his bracket. There were two other women who made the same comments towards my boyfriend and I. These two women were chatting at the end of one of the aisles. One seemed to be in her 60′s while the other appeared to be in her 70′s if not 80′s. Again we heard “People are just crazy.” I’m saddened by the ignorance and I was genuinely baffled that it felt like there were two separate types of people in the store. I understand that some people believe that this is not serious and although I think those people are very wrong and inconsiderate to others, I would never go out of my way to disrespect them in public or shame them in anyway. 

With that being said, this pandemic is not a joke and should not qualify as “not that bad.” I understand people die from things everyday, it’s inevitable. I also understand that the human race has come into contact with certain viruses in the past that we as a community survived. However, we were not prepared for a pandemic of this magnitude. If we have the medical supplies and the hospital beds, sure, you will be able to receive the care that you need. The precautions that the government and the medical officials are putting into place are to stop this number from growing more and more. The amount of people who are infected is doubling and will only increase the rate in which it advances. In just a small a amount of time, our country’s stock on medical supplies has been almost entirely depleted. If we do not have the medical supplies and the beds to treat those who are sick, I can promise you this virus will not be “no big deal.”  Every human life has so much value and my heart goes out to all the families of the COVID- 19 patients who have died and/or who are being treated. I live in New Jersey, next to the biggest infection populated state and city in America. I personally believe that New York, at it’s current rate of infection, will become the virus epicenter at least for our continent. Even if it doesn’t, the number of infections are going up. There is a 14 day incubation period where the infected hosts do not show any symptoms. The amount of interactions that occur between people is incomprehensible. There is no physical way for the government or the medical officials to accurately keep control and data on who is infected and who is not. What they can provide is the numbers of cases that have been confirmed and information that is finite. What we can do as human beings, is make sure we do our part to lessen the number of people infected. We have the proper supplies, but when we run out of the supplies, what do you think will happen? This is not a time for panic, though I too struggle with anxiety over this issue. This is the time to just be smart and proactive. We need to be mindful of our hands and what they touch. We need to practice social distancing and understand that everything we do now is to lessen the number of those needing our medical supplies and attention. Even if you do not think you are sick, if you have left the house and been subjected to the public in the past two to three weeks, you could very well have the virus and simply just not know. Again, that doesn’t call for panic. However it does call for understanding that this is much bigger than your own knowledge or perception. We all (healthy or sick) need to cover our mouths with the inside of our elbow when we cough or sneeze, we need to wash hands and refrain from touching our faces, we need to be mindful about the people around us and listen to the medical precautions posted on TV and on the internet. We have to do this together. 

[betratyal]

                       the first clear thought in years:                              I REFUSE TO DIE.

JACOB BATALON? No, that’s actually PETER PETTIGREW from the MARAUDERS ERA. You know, the child of AMBROSIA PETTIGREW and ALISTER MCALISTER? Only 20 years old, this GRYFFINDOR alumni works as a DISH WASHER and is sided with HIMSELF. HE/THEY identifies as AGENDER and is a HALFBLOOD who is known to be CUNNING, HUMOROUS and ALLOCENTRIC but also OBSESSIVE, PASSIVE and COWARDLY. 

LINKS – pinboard, stats, app. CHARACTER PARALLELS – winston bishop ( new girl ), sid jenkins ( skins ), charles boyle ( b99 ), edmund pevensie ( narnia ), eric forman ( that 70s show ), bunny corcoran ( the secret history ) AESTHETIC –  ketchup stains on band shirts, an incomprehensible minute long string of curses, tracing the veins in your wrist, the smell of breakfast and fresh coffee, card tricks at three in the morning, freddie mercury impersonations, lying on the floor of the kitchen staring a the ceiling for three hours, trembling hands holding a joint, a guilty grin. HEADS UP – this intro contains mentions of bullying, death, mental illness (eating disorders (bed & bulimia) and depression and anxiety), self destructive tendencies and weed. ive trigger warned each bullet point where it comes up.

history ( 1960 - 1978 )

peter was born to ambrosia pettigrew, a halfblooded scottish-filipino witch. his father -- a muggle -- was not in the picture and hadn’t been ever since he’d learned of ambrosia’s pregnancy; he would sent her money every now and then, in the first years of peter’s life, but was never in the picture. ( and that was for the best, thought ambrosia; she didn’t love him, and he was a muggle, but still --- she was heartbroken and wished that she could give more to her son ).

peter grew up living with his mother in a small flat in glasgow. his grandparents lived nearby, and he spent a lot of time with them. peter learned how to be alone from a young age, with his mother working a lot and he himself lacking friends and peers to waste the days with --- as a child, he delved into fictional worlds ( superhero comics, roald dahl novels, animated tv shows ) and found friends there.

bullying tw / went to muggle elementary as well, but never felt at home there. he was the odd one out: his clothes didn’t fit well, his nervous habits were annoying to his classmates, his words were too clumsy and his eyes too shifty. he didn’t mind not having friends ( or so he thought, until he did have them ) but he did mind being picked on and teased. end of tw

death tw /  his grandmother died when he was seven and it was devastating; peter’s family was so small and compact, his social world so limited, that it had a huge impact. his relationship with his grandfather did grow much stronger through it. end of tw 

and then peter finally went to hogwarts! and peter made friends for the FIRST TIME. and he found a second home! ah, my god --- peter was so happy, he was really so hyped and in awe of his life and his friends. it all felt a bit surreal; especially because he looked up to james and sirius and remus so much --- james, mainly, but all of them were so amazing, and he was so amazed that they liked him, too.

peter always loved heroes. he loves comic books and people who save the day and get the girl and do it all. i think he kind of … projected that onto james and sirius especially? did not know how to do this friendship thing as an 11 year old tbh, was a mess, was blinded by their amazingness damn, and thus kind of hero worshipped them, didn’t see their flaws and faults.

re: peter being a gryffindor; peter admires heroism and bravery and chivalry, and it’s your values that get you sorted some place. and he always did try to be brave, and he WAS in a lot of moments, because he became a damn animagus for his bud! i mean! he was not a hatstall btw  — i choose to ignore that stupid bit of post canon. it took a while for the hat, sure, but no more than two minutes.  

peter was a pretty bad student, to be honest. not because he was stupid, but because he’s just not build for school. deadlines? exams? homework? no thank you --- those were both sources of stress and horribly tedious things and peter was much too occupied with shenanigans and having fun. peter learned better in different settings: he got very good at certain charms because they allowed him to be lazy ( hello, accio! ) and was able to put his mind to becoming an animagus because there was a necessity and a proper motivation, and became better at potions because of all the hangover potions he brew. 

becoming an animagus for remus was ! important ! to peter ! he did it for remus, not because of peer pressure, or anything else — he did it because it was right, and his friend deserved it and ! he did it, too, because he could. sure, his transfig grades may have been more than poor, but the kid did have some skill. he just needed motivation, which mcgonagall didn’t give (bc. she scared him.) and this situation? motivated the hell out of him.

peter would be lying if he said he wasn’t taken a bit aback when he learned about remus’ lycanthropy — not because he was scared of him, to be honest, but he was just ? shocked ? he was more scared for remus, and so sad? so fucking sad for him? : ( he cried

he also loved spending his time at hogwarts playing games; from muggle card games to chess to gobstones. collected chocolate frogs Very Seriously as well, and still does tbh.

weed & anxiety tw / peter started smoking pot in the summer between his fourth and fifth year, and never really stopped. it made him slack more at school, but also eased his anxiety, which had started to develop in his fourth year. as months passed, peter became more and more of a stoner, which made him both more relaxed and funnier, but also … a whole of a lot lazier. end of weed tw

peter had always been a bit … fidgety, easily on edge, a bit nervous, but he’d never really known anxiety until around fourteen years old. his insecurities grew, as he started comparing himself more to his friends and finding nothing but things he lacked in comparison to them, and questions as to why they put up with him. end of anxiety tw

so his schooldays mostly looked like … doing nothing, playing games, having fun with his mates, getting high, forgetting his homework, stressing about homework, and somewhere, in a tiny corner of his being, worrying about the war. whenever those worries started coming up, though, he was able to push them away, because the war was not yet there, not for him at least. there was graduation to worry about first, and once that was done, then he could worry about the war.

post graduation - now ( 1978 - 1980 )

peter joins the order along with his friends, because it was what was right. peter believes in their cause, hates the death eaters, hates discrimination and racism and terrorism --- of course he fucking does, and so he joins, even though he feels incompetent. i have written a lot about this in his app too, which is linked above! 

he starts working as a dishwasher in muggle glasgow, preferring a bit of a break from the wizarding world every now and then. peter’s not unambitious, per se, but he doesn’t have enough faith in himself to try and pursue a career ( and besides, what’s the point in the midst of a war? ). plus, peter doesnt need any more stress on his plate, and dish washing is laidback and at least kind of fun. 

depression & weed & eating disorder (bed/bulimia) tw | peter feels useless in the order, though. he seems to lack the skills, the guts, the everything that the people around him have. before, their heroics mightve inspired him; now they just make him feel like a shitty person, like a burden. peter starts secluding himself a little, hiding in his mother’s home. he smokes more pot. he sometimes goes almost week without seeing someone besides his mum and his coworkers. he watches too much telly and reads comics and drowns in fictional worlds and he becomes depressed. he sinks into it without noticing and can’t come back from it. his eating habits ( which have always bordered on unhealthy ) turn worse; peter binges, and then restricts, falls into a cycle. it’s the only routine he has.

when he’s around his friends, he lives up a little. he cracks jokes and wants to play games and laughs and feels a bit more alive, but he always craves his time on his own. that’s his new way to feel safe: to stick to his newly found routine, hidden in his room, away from reality. | end of tw

the idea to join the death eaters comes out of fear. peter feels like the order is losing, and feels like death is inevitable. i dont know how true this is, but the fact is that the death eaters are ruthless and that his life is on the line because of his position. i wrote a Lot about this in his app too, so if u want a more comprehensive explanation i’d def read it here, its the second hc!

he joins, because he thinks it will give him a saver position. play both sides, play for the winning side --- he’s always had a bit of an opportunistic streak, which definitely helps sway his decision. in the end he’s just afraid of dying, and that’s why he joins; he’s twenty, his life has hardly started --- he doesn’t want to die, no cause is worth that, none at all. ( he should have just ran )

he joins in may 1978, for timeline reasons, so he’s been a death eater for only a few months. it’s been a lot different than he imagined ----- peter thought he’d blend in the background quietly, that he’d have to do shitty jobs ( which is true ) and that he’d be left alone. he underestimated it, because well --- he was desperate when he joined, and he didn’t think about the consequences, and he didn’t think about how voldemort’s cruelty wasn’t just reserved for his enemies but for his followers, too. there’s no stepping out of line with the death eaters; mistakes are not treated lightly and peter --- afraid, a bit of a bumbling idiot, learns this quite soon.

his function is mostly just to be a spy; relay information and share plans, name members, etcetera. he’s not very active because he’s a spy, but i imagine that he is present at the bigger meetings. AND FML HE’S GOOD AT IT! he’s good at lying and sneaking and being a sly bastard --- he used those skills for pranks, once. now he uses it to betray his fellow prankers : D

peter, at that point, hates himself. he’s always had a bit of self loathing, but it’s gained the upper hand now and he’s drowning in it; it does allow for him to ignore his conscience, though, for him to ignore the reality and just stew in his negativity. he’s got a woe is me mentality, for sure, and he’s so god damn passive about his situation. 

timeclash reaction.

peter’s reaction to the timeclash was ... a lot. i wrote about it in his app, so if u want to read my whole ass rambling, i rec that. but tldr: he’s shocked, at what he becomes. the peter he is now is a traitor, yes, but he’s not yet the person who ends up betraying james and lily and harry, who frames sirius --- and it’s ground shattering to find out that he’s on the road to become such a person. 

self destructiveness, weed, alcohol tw / his self loathing grows more. peter wasn’t doing very well before, but the timeclash makes something snap inside him --- he abandons his needs, punishes himself in small ways, loses sight of himself. he drinks and smokes too much. he’s so scared of himself. he’s in hiding, when he first finds out, scared of his friends and the death eaters and the order members and the people from the future who have met a worse version of him end of tws

part of peter is also like “i havent done any of these things yet, i know i am not the BEST person but i am still . not That Bad! stop being mad for something i havent done yet!”

around this time, he’s realising that he can either keep hiding, that he can completely destroy himself and all the ties he has, or he can take this opportunity to change his course. to not become the person all these people from the future know, to change change change, to make up for the wrongs he has committed and the wrongs he will commit if he keeps on going the way he is --- and that’s where he’s at now.

on another hand, he definitely watched all the star wars movies that came out over the past 50 yrs and hates kylo ren and cried when han died!!! he is in awe of the mcu movies but also thinks they did the comics dirty. i wish someone would introduce him to video games bc he would cry from happiness.

personality & details

OKAY onto the fun stuff, that was way too depressing and peter is usually a comedic icon

peter parker is his favourite superhero just because … they share a first name and because peter parker is a bit of an underdog too and peter is just like! amazing! he named his owl parker.

he hates cats. used to love them — he was allowed to take the cat from home with him to hogwarts when he was eleven, but he brought him back home after an unfortunate incident where his cat nearly ate him while he was in his animagus form. “sorry ma, i don’t love him any more. here. have him.”

peter is actually a solid cook. this is because he learned to make some basic food when he was still a kid, first with his grandma, and later on his own. he liked doing it for his mother and he was. .. good at it? peter is also just passionate about food and finds comfort in cooking. breakfast food and baked goods are Prime Food Categories.

he is asexual af, panromantic. has kissed both guys and gals and nb pals but did not like it??? confused. does not understand sexuality and all that jazz but tries not to think abt it because like! he’s got enough stress! doesnt need to think abt this!

peter is also agender, but i think he’s a lot less aware about this, because it’s confusing and so he just tries not to think about it. he does feel okay with he/him pronouns, but just doesn’t feel connected at all to being a boy/man

peter has abandonment issues because his dad, well, never even bothered to be there. not even for a second. he’s just constantly scared that people will leave and it’s funny, because he will probably end up abandoning all of his loved ones KDJFHSDF.

peter is quite non confrontational but also not … meek? he just avoids it, either by physically staying out of people’s way or by dismissing most of the things said and getting out of there. a Passive Kid. 

he’s such a fucking dork i swear to god. but he’s funny! peter is really funny. i deeply believe in this. he makes great puns and is able to just come out of nowhere and make a comment that just. hits the nail right on its head.

peter curses a lot and has a scottish accent and sometimes he will have a minute long cursing session that no one rly understands.

[stewystew]

Ok I wrote this all in the tags of another post but I took my adderall for the first time in a week today and yeah sure, it’s worn off by now, but I’m still vibing so here we go!!! (woo this got longer than I thought it was going to be, so I’m putting the read more in)

I’m going to describe a movie to you.

This is a great movie. In one sentence, it’s a super fun found family heist movie with heavy The Devil Wears Prada vibes. which is like. the ideal set of tropes. Are you on board yet?

On top of that, there’s party-crashing, general thievery, fun costume design, an intense rivalry, a fucking choice montage, and it all ends with five friends and their five dogs living happily ever after in the big house that they stole, The End.

This is Cruella (2021). And the rumors are true, it fucking sucked. But because I actually watched it, I can tell you why it sucked, and it’s NOT that her mom got murdered by Dalmatians (at least that’s not the main reason). I can also tell you how it could be fixed.

Cruella is not actually a bad movie. But also, it very much is. (hope this helps <3) Ok. It’s bad because, of course, Capitalism. Literally the movie I described to you? Sounds super fun and great? If Disney didn’t have an obsession with making a quick buck on the back of its classic franchises, that could’ve been what Cruella was. But instead, they slapped an iconic villain on that super fun heist movie, and ruined the whole thing.

You can’t make Cruella De Vil a hero. You can’t. Other villain rewrites work because they swap the hero and the villain, or at least the villain’s atrocities are swapped out for something more understandable. But. A bunch of puppies can’t be evil. And when Cruella’s entire character is about Being Rich and Killing Puppies, you can’t change her motives or her backstory, because then all you have left is her aesthetic. Which isn’t unimportant, but you can’t build a compelling story out of an aesthetic.

But, that’s what Disney chose to do, I guess.

Here’s what happened:

1) Our main character, Estella, is born with the black and white hair (relying on the aesthetic!) (imo this is bad bc either it’s a cartoony Anime Protagonist Hair thing ooh magic. or it’s poliosis, and that’s ehh bc it’s very much framed as like. Symbolic of her ✨inner evil✨. Which is weird for it being a real thing that real people have.)

2) ANYWAY. She’s kind of a mean kid, but mostly very opinionated. We learn this when she calls a shirt ugly (aha, see? She’s into fashion!), and her mother jokes that she should be called “Cruella” instead of “Estella”. So. Now we have the name thrown in. Again, the aesthetic.

3) Blah blah, she adopts a stray dog, she punches bullies, blah blah, she gets kicked out of school, and she and her mother move to the city (she’s like 12 at this point)

4) but *gasp!* before they get there, her mother has to ask a “friend” for help because they’re poor. (So. there goes the Rich part of Cruella’s character. She no longer has anything in common with Cruella De Vil’s villainy!)

5) The “friend”, though, is very rich, and is throwing a party at her mansion (which is on a cliff). The mom goes in, and Cruella follows her. Cruella ends up getting chased by Dalmatians, but they don’t attack Cruella, instead they end up pushing her mom off the cliff. Cruella thinks it’s her fault because the dogs were chasing her.

6) Cruella goes to the city on her own, and meets two other orphaned kids, Jasper and Horace (we’ll call them J&H) (they also have a dog!), and they all live together and get very very good at stealing shit. Then, it’s like ten years later, and she wears a wig to fit in.

7) She catches the attention of a famous fashion designer (The Baroness) because of how good she is at fashion. The Baroness (who owns Dalmatians!) hires her, and now Cruella’s designing clothes for her. Also, the Baroness’s assistant(?) is Mark Strong, so the “Stanley Tucci in The Devil Wears Prada” vibes are very much there.

8) Cruella finds out that the Baroness is actually her mom’s ex-employer and the “friend” she was talking to before she died, because the baroness has her mother’s necklace, which she says her mother stole from her. The Baroness doesn’t know who Cruella is, though.

9) Cruella tries to steal the necklace back (this is the party she crashes!), and finds out that the Baroness trained the Dalmatians to kill her mother. To get revenge, she creates an alter ego where she goes full Cruella De Vil, the iconic black and white hair and everything, and upstages the Baroness by being better at fashion. (Yay double life! Yay rivalries! Yay fun montage!)

10) oof this is getting long. I’ll try to hurry it up.

11) at one point Cruella wears a fur coat and everyone thinks she’s skinned the Baroness’s Dalmatians for it, but she didn’t. Because she would never hurt a dog! *clutches pearls*

12) J&H are mad because her fashion alter ego is mean to them. She says “lol deal with it” but then later she says “oops sorry i love my friends actually” so. she’s not even that mean.

13) The Baroness tries to kill her, she fails. Mark Strong tells Cruella that she’s actually the Baroness’s daughter, and the Baroness had tried to kill her as a baby. Oh, and Cruella has a scene where she’s all “I’m unapologetically evil!” which might have been better if she were actually. You know. Evil.

14) oh, also the gay character is a guy who owns a little clothing store and he and Cruella are friends. He’s not explicitly gay tho, he’s just good at fashion and wears makeup.

15) So Cruella and her friends (J&H, Mark Strong, Gay Character) all go and crash another party for the One Final Score. It’s at the Baroness’s mansion, on the cliff, and they trick the Baroness into pushing Cruella off the cliff in front of a bunch of people and the Baroness goes to jail.

16) Cruella survives because of a parachute in her dress (lmao), and because she’s the Baroness’s daughter she gets all her money and her mansion and her dogs. And then she and J&H and Mark Strong and Gay Character all live in the big house together with their five dogs and are friends forever the end. :)

17) oh, also, Anita Darling, from 101 Dalmatians, is Cruella’s childhood friend and Cruella gives her two Dalmatian puppies at the end as a gift. Which... Would that make the Dalmatian parents in the movie siblings? :(

So now you see. Or maybe you don’t, and that was all completely incomprehensible. Either way, on to the next part!

So, obviously, it would be a much much better movie if it weren’t about Cruella De Vil, Puppy Murderer, and Disney had produced a goddamn original movie for once :)

Now, literally just trimming all the Disney Franchise gunk off the script would work. All that bad cheesy stuff would be gone, we wouldn’t be teased with the slightly-but-not-actually villainous stuff she does, and I wouldn’t have to spend the entire 2 hours desperately trying and failing to separate the movie and it’s dog-loving protagonist from the puppy murderer.

BUT. I will say that the one thing that Cruella was able to properly utilize was Cruella De Vil’s iconicness. Again, the aesthetic isn’t completely unimportant!

So I think it’d be good to maintain that. sue me. My idea is this:

Our Main Character is just some girl. Similar situation to the movie, but she’s named Ann or Sue or something. She reads The One Hundred and One Dalmatians as a child, and because she’s a Weird Little Girl, becomes obsessed with Cruella De Vil and her entire deal. And the movie proceeds in exactly the same way from then on.

Why does this work? Thank you for asking, I’ll tell you!

Disney gets to keep their dumb Classic Franchise money or whatever because we’re keeping the character

All the fun outfits get to stay the same :)

All that stuff I said about why Cruella De Vil can’t be redeemed? Doesn’t matter now that our character isn’t Cruella. We’re still capitalizing on Cruella De Vil’s icon status as an irredeemable puppy killer, but like. Without actually redeeming the puppy killer in question. Yay!

Weird Little Girls are awesome

We get a cute scene where Main Character is trying and failing to dye her hair like Cruella’s (Cruella’s hair is black and white in the book as well!) Her mom comes into the bathroom, sees half empty dye and bleach bottles in the sink, her hair bright orange. Already, I would die for this kid. (ngl this one’s the main reason I’m so attached to this version)

Ooh, this is the fun part. So, the mom gets pushed off a cliff by Dalmatians. I’m keeping this in. Main Character, of course, thinking WWCDVD? (what would Cruella De Vil do?), is like, actively antagonizing these dogs. The dogs chase her, push the mom off the cliff. It’s still not actually her fault, but the fact that she goaded the dogs into chasing her? HAHAHA WE LOVE SOME GUILT!

Oh, you may be thinking, but if she likes to act like Cruella, would Main Character still adopt that stray dog? I give you a quote from Main Character herself, which I’m totally not just now writing on the spot: “Cruella only wants to wear Dalmatians, I can still like other dogs”. Doesn’t that sound exactly like something our Weird Little Girl would say?

Ah, but what about later, when she adopts those Dalmatians? Main Character likes Cruella’s aesthetic and vibes, but she’s also an adult person with her own sense of self and an awareness that killing dogs is bad.

Anyway. Next slide!

I wouldn’t have to think about the Dalmatians at the end being siblings because 101 DALMATIANS DOESNT HAPPEN IN THIS UNIVERSE IT’S JUST A BOOK!!!

I checked, and One Hundred And One Dalmatians came out in 1956 (the movie is set in the 60s and 70s), so the timeline works! Also, hair bleach was safe to use by the 50s, so my scene in number 5 works too!

TL;DR: Cruella (2021) is a found family heist movie, and could be fixed by making the protagonist a normal person who’s favorite character is Cruella De Vil from the book The One Hundred and One Dalmatians

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk it’s 2 am and I’m fucking exhausted

[supercultshow]

Howdy all you Supercultists out there on the interwebz! I’m Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “The Insane Clown Posse” with a minor in “Slap Fights”) and I’ll be posting my hype-tacular speeches every week along with some long-lost speeches from past Supercult Shows!

This week Supercult becomes a believer in miracles after watching Big Money Rustlas!

Big Baby Chips, a ruthless gambler, murderer, and classic western thug has taken over the town of Mud Bug, but he didn’t count on one thing: Mud Bug is Sheriff Sugar Wolf’s old hometown. Now Sugar Wolf is riding into town with a taste for revenge and a fist full of justice. Can Sugar Wolf free Mudbug from Big Baby Chips and his gang? Come see the Good, the Bad, and the…Outrageous in Big Money Rustlas!

“I read the script, and it doesn’t say anything about this cowboy getting shot!” – Real line from the film

“I am Dirty. Dirty Sanchez. I milk the sheep and give mustache rides for two bits.” – Real line from the film

“You platypus lookin motha fucka!” -Real line from the film

“Well, I’ll be a porcupine’s dickhole.” -Real line from the film

“Oh, for the love of chili!” -Real line from the film

Big Money Rustlas…no, wait…

Big Money Hustlas…no, wait, I have to go back even further.

So, you know the Insane Clown Posse? It’s an American hip hop duo composed on Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope whose horror and supernatural themed lyrics helped them earn 2 platinum and 5 gold albums and inspire a dedicated fan-base called Juggalos. Insane Clown Posse (or ICP) founded its own independent record label, Psychopathic Records, has collaborated with numerous hip hop and rock musicians, and even formed their own pro wrestling federation, Juggalo Championship Wrestling. Oh, yeah, and they wear evil black and white clown makeup all the time.

Some might call the Insane Clown Posse and their Juggalo followers a transgressive cult or gang, what with the hand signs, weird hair and makeup, insider lingo, and obsession with Faygo, but as with Rock and Roll fans, Metal Fans, Trekkies, Weebs, and any other hyper dedicated subculture that came before, we Supercult Academics prefer to ignore their haters and focus on the important facts…such as the fact that the Insane Clown Posse has such wildly devoted fans that they’ve even released two feature length films.

The first, Big Money Hustlas, was released in 2000. The film was a comedy starring Shaggy 2 Dope as Sugar Bear, a 70s Dolemite wannabe supercop who is tasked to clean up New York and defeat the crime lord Big Baby Sweets played by Violent J. The film also featured several other Psychopathic Records artists and their friends, a collection of songs by ICP and Twiztid, cameo by the Misfits, and THE ACTUAL RUDY RAY MOORE reprising his character Dolemite to help montage train Sugar Bear into a half decent human tornado! The film is chock full of goofy dialogue, visual humor, and clever nods to Juggalos and fans of Psychopathic Records. In spite of a horrendous production involving two film crew strikes, going $100k over their $250k budget, the film was received well by their intended audience (mainly Juggalos) and even debut at #1 on Billboard’s Top Music videos chart…I guess because it’s sort of like a 100 minute music video?

Then in 2010 they decided to…basically do it again, but as a western? Big Money Rustlas is a straight up rip-off of their previous film, billed as a prequel. Thankfully the production was much more organized the second time around, assisted in no small part by the improved $1.5 million budget, I bet. According to Methric, “The first one was, let’s shoot it 45 times, then shoot it another 45 times, where this one the guys knew exactly what we needed, and we got in there and got it.”

Big Money Rustlas involves the same amount of slap stick and verbal comedy, the same gaggle of Psychopathic Records cameos and supporting characters, but with about 300% more cowboy outfits and dusty Paramount Movie Ranch sets. Big Money Rustlas’ chief sin is simply that it’s boring and borderline incomprehensible to anyone who ISN’T a Juggalo. If you strip out all the Juggalo in-jokes what you’re left with is an absurdist western with a derivative plot and sub-par acting. Nevertheless, Supercultists, we will don our facepaint and our HatchetGear and join our fellow weirdos in love of this gloriously weird piece of pop culture!

I’m the Foot B-$@*!

The Supercult Show is proud to present, Big Money Rustlas!

Big Money Rustlas Howdy all you Supercultists out there on the interwebz! I’m Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “The Insane Clown Posse” with a minor in “Slap Fights”) and I’ll be posting my hype-tacular speeches every week along with some long-lost speeches from past Supercult Shows!

[cryptochurp]

Show Me, Don’t Tell Me Blockchain

Watch the article 3 minute presentation video

Above video feature through clicking this text link 

The names seen on blockchain expos are getting bigger and more mainstream. At least this is the case with the coming London blockchain expo April 18-19th. A while back ‘what the hell is BP and Coca-Cola doing in here?’ would have been a legit question, but now it’s rather obvious to most inside the space.

If you are not in this game the fomo is more than paranoia for big business. Just because the blockchain equivalent of the dot-com bubble is eventually coming, most can’t claim ignorance anymore regarding tech about to evolve an inconceivable amount of global platforms. Just saying: “It’s a bubble” is the equivalent of shouting you need a safe space at a University. If it solves human problems, it has value. Uber does not have cars, Airbnb doesn’t own property, FIAT has not been backed by gold since the 70’s.

The E-future is already here.

Scarcity is a necessity for perceived lasting value

At least for the foreseeable near future. Whatever size your dreams are the blockchain has and will deliver at an increased pace. From John McAfee promising to eat his connection dongle to Trace Mayer, people estimate the value of Bitcoin rising close to a million in the coming years. Some of the wild estimates predict the market cap to be somewhere around 15 trillion in a decade.

Hodling ain’t no joke.

A breath in, a breath out

Hope you feel you have been adequately compensated for the ‘sleepless in crypto’ thus far. With this kind of potential the space is filling up with, let’s say, all walks of life and many are not in it for the long haul nor an agenda bigger than themselves. This is natural so wearing protection at this party is a necessity. I recently had my first real taste of this.

Remember to wear crypto bubble protection kids!

As an independent artist, I’m not saying a nice mould free family house, a cool electric car and a more secure future do not turn me on but the biggest excitement comes from getting the resources necessary to evolve art to a place no one has yet experienced. Thinking about the idea of seeing what I’ve been building for two decades finally be manifest on world stages is a premature mind blown -type situation (see video at the start of the page). Being close to 40, it’s much more exciting than seeing all ’em dancing girls during the coming World Crypto Con.

The keynote space is full of useful tips and ideas but lets face it – many of the concepts being presented are almost incomprehensible to the majority of the audience and dry as licking sandpaper on a hot Dubai afternoon. If as many say, the future of the human ability to trust, lifting people from poverty all over the world and personal millions are at stake, using advertising agencies, making stunning films with humans is essential. Integrating legacy media better will eventually lead to the AI, VR & Quantum revolution many of us are working towards and wanting to see.

Gotta learn how to walk first though.

Having recently flown from Helsinki to London it was again surprising just how many iPads, phone scrollers and screen devices were the ones people eyes were locked on. Certainly, today having a billboard is not as effective as it used to be if everyone is looking at a small device in their hand but what used to be presented with credibility and design still holds the same power despite the digesting format being different.

So now e-what?

In my view, film, art, music, performance and the majority of visual communication means are totally under-utilized by the crypto community. Not a single major player has even made their own TV advert yet. Not to say it has to run on TV but using the format or a more human side of the story seems like a no-brainer.  These kinds of things, coming from a film background to the arts are self-evident to me so I wouldn’t be surprised if we soon see a production company that specializes in crypto visuals. It’s not that the heart and awe of blockchain are absent, it is just not very well presented at the moment.

If you want to hear more about this sort of thing, all of the above is what my presentation will be about at the Blockchain Expo on April the 18th. A few works from the Bollywood star project will grace the stage as well as hopefully a performance. The idea is to start a new era of what a Keynote presentation can be like. The third level up from this, at the very latest, will be seen in at the Aria hotel in Las Vegas on October 31st.

I just can’t nor want to do it alone.

V E S A Visual Artist London / Helsinki Instagram Twitter Art: www.artforcrypto.com Merc: www.artforcrypto.live Artevo: www.artevo.org

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