#<< that was a heartbreak kick ill tell u year 9 was not my year but boy was i emotionally regulated

[violentdevotion]

Hamsters kinda suck though, they're not that friendly and die in strange ways. But rats, oh man, they love you to bits and worship the ground you walk on before dying a horrible slow death from cancer, if you want a broken heart get rats

you've rly swayed me and the heartbreak would do a lot, nothing more in the world I want now than to have a pet rat called rufus. but part of the reason me mum said no to hamsters is bc they think all rodents are basically rats, and if they said no to hamsters bc they're too closely related to rats I dread to think what they'd say if I propose we get a pet rat. and I don't think anyone else would be willing to look after the rat if I was busy or went somewhere 😭😭😭

[deanstits]

AU Fic Rec, Part 4

Modern AU

Buckle the fuck in children, this is going to be long and uhhhhhhhhh long.

Modern AU - Anything set in current day, but not in the SPN universe. A lot of the BDSM/sex worker fics fit into this category but obviously??? They belong on the ever important BDSM list. Duh.

Let’s get fuckin ready.

Part One - BDSM

Part Two - Sci-FI/Fantasy

Part Three - Historical Setting

____

1. The Last Great Race - Kicking it off with a bang. Cas is a reporter, he goes to Alaska to cover the Iditarod - the dog sled race. Dean is participating and so is Sam and there are so many huskies and also romance. It has a prequel time stamp. It is lovely and I love it and read this right now.

2.  Pies and Prejudice - This is on my Top 8, but it’s a Pride and Prejudice Great British Bake Off Modern AU Fusion. Dean is Liz and Cas is Darcy. Please read this it’s wonderful and also cake is involved.

3. Between The Lines - Fam, Okay, I thought this was going to be Garbage but it’s not. Environmentalist Cas gets in a twitter feud(!!!!) with Western Actor Dean and they make a bet to live in off the land for a week and it’s. Amazing. Enemies 2 frends 2 luvrs. Trust me.

4. And Then You Destroy Yourself - The only Non-BDSM College AU worth reading. Cas is a freshman, he joins the College Newspaper, there is drama and mystery and intrigue. And Gay. The underage drinking is bit cringe but it’s very in character for college students, so what r u gonna do.

5. Love In The Wild - This is a hilaaaaarious Reality Show AU. Dean goes on a dating show and does challenges and meets the luv of his life, u kno? What more do you need. There is sex.

6. Through Basin And Range - Yeee buddy, Road Trip Fic!!!!! Dean and Cas are there but have broken up and it’s rough, and Sam is there also but he is sexting Kevin for some reason. Cas is spending the summer working on a thesis for his Geology Masters (master of rocks), and Sam n Dean tag along. This story really is lovey. It’s only on LJ though, so. :/

7. Unintended - Lawyer Cas bids for Fire Fighter Dean in a date auction and honestly. The sex in this is so good, like I lost this fic for three years but still remembered The Scene (You’ll know the one, that shit is hardly ever seen outside of PWP). This fic is so slept on. You need to read it. I think they live in Washinton or something. Maybe NYC. I forget, I’m busy thinking about The Scene.

8. Your Heart Makes - Ok so there are Three Disney Land AUs in this fandom that I know of. One of them is garbage, one of them is pretty good, and the last is incredible and it’s ur lucky day because the incredible one is this one. Castiel suffers from pretty bad depression, and is just trying to get through life, day by day. Insert Dean w/ a heart condition. There’s love, there’s slow build, there’s disney ride hand jobs. It’s a good time.

9. Any Little Heartbreak - I just reread this one recently! Heart Surgeon Dean! Surgery Nurse Cas! Enemies to FWB to Lovers! It’s like Scrubs meets... some sort of medical drama. Whatever, it’s a trip, and Meg is so fun.

10. Bearing Point - This fic is lovely and fun and it’s construction Dean + restoration expert Cas. I have beef with this fic, in that the author made Dean gay, instead of bi or pan and for me, a huge bisexual with strong emotional ties to Dean’s bisexuality, it kind of grated on me a bit and ruined the immersion. But, if you’re not a big baby like me, this fic is lovely and wonderful and they literally build homes together and also get nasty.

11. For All You Young Hockey Players Out There, Pay Attention - SPORTS AU. I don’t like sports but SPORTS AU. Dean is a hockey person. Something something NHL. Dean plays the sports with his brother. They get a new player from russia, but Dean is >:( bc they traded out his bff so Cas is The Enemy. Enemies to grudging friends to lovers. Coming out. Homophobic confusion. This fic is wonderful and lovely and sports. If you love destiel and you love Check Please, then this is the AU for U.

12.  Fourth Time’s the Charm - Ooooooooh, age gap fic. Cas is a comic book artist, Dean is a fan who goes to conventions. He’s also a virgin. :) Here is a direct quote from the summary: ‘Dean shyly fumbles his way through his first real relationship.’ Literally what more do you need? Literally?

13. If At First You Don’t Succeed (Destroy All Evidence That You Ever Tried) - lmao this fic is ridiculous. Inspired by the HIMYM episode, the three days rule, Dean replaces his number in Castiel’s phone to test he’s not being too eager when he meets girls. sexting ensues and Dean is !!!!! Gay Panicked. I love it, read it now, it’s sexy.

14.  Prosopagnosia -  This one is Teen and Up, I know, I am shocked that I’ve included it too. But it’s such a sweet story. Castiel works in a Gas n’ Sip and he has a cognitive disorder that means he’s face blind. He can’t recognize anyone, which makes his blossoming relationship with Dean a bit complicated. But they work around it. The Impala plays an important role.

15. Run Boy Run - FAM OK FAM PLS. Blind! Dean wants to compete in the Boston Marathon, but he needs a guide people to help him navigate obstacles and the other contestants. Castiel’s brother signs him up and he’s reluctant, but then he meets Dean and uhhhhhhh it all works out. It’s so sweet. Read it. Teen and Up again??? I’m srry, but it’s really good.

16. Yellow - Here’s another I haven’t read yet, but. It’s Elizabeth1985 and also it’s Cas in Witness protection and the excerpt I read places it firmly on my favourites list. Ex-mobster Cas, They are bartenders, there is falling in love, there is also fucking yeaaaa buddy, back on the sexy bandwagon.

17. Rough Seas - Dean is a Lieutenant Commander who moves home with a toddler and he’s involved with the Coast Guard, and he used to know Cas but there was gay panic and so things are tense and angsty and wonderful and this fic is amazing. SLOW BUILD. LOVERS TO ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS. Literally the best. There is a sequel which is almost as long. This fic is so lovely.

18. Asunder - This fic my guys, this fic. Please send help. Social Worker Dean. Recovering Heroin addicts Sam and Ruby who are getting married. They go to Bobby’s for the wedding. I forget how Cas fits in but he’s there and it’s lovely and so well written and wonderful and honestly? A Classic. If you read anything from this list, read this fic.

19. Satin and Sawdust - Lmao u guys u know me. Dean in panties love story. It’s on my Top 8. There’s capentry, there’s gay panic Cas, there’s satin and lace and soft cotton and also Dean has two cats. Read this right now.

20. Living In Agony - THIS FIC MY GUYS. I had three people read it from my Top 8 and they all died and met me in heaven bc i also died when I read it bc it is so. Lovely. Angst, mental illness, teachers Cas and Dean, Gabriel and Charlie are there also, Jess is a delight, Sam is in love with green smoothies, the sex is ridiculous (there is one line that helped shape me as a person and you will know which it is and you can blame this fic for all of the absolute filth that comes out of my brain. Read this right now.

21. Inevitable Homoeroticism in Spanish Romantic Heroes - :) Okay so Dean is a Grad student and Cas is a professor and it’s academic and sexy and not really a college au and I read it like four years ago and I still think about it. I suggest it very highly!!!

22. Get Some - Dean is in college and needs a place to live. He goes to live with Castiel, at the stoner house. Gay Panic happens and there are drugs and loads of casual sex and it’s honestly a good time. A bit angsty but mostly thumbs up muy bueno.

23.  That Summer - Short and sweet, lost love, this fic is so lovely and wonderful. It does feature an age gap with underage Dean so, if that’s not your bag... He is 17 at the time. Farmer Cas! Love and exploring sexuality!

24. Rvr Ro11435 - Destiel works at Nasa!!! Neither are astronauts but they are smart cookies who help send people to space. It’s tagged as an office romance. It’s cute.

25. The Way to a Man’s Heart is Through Chlamydia - One night stand. Dean gets an STD. Has to find his boo and tell ‘em about the STD. There’s fun sex and love and one of them is a baker and the love is so sweet and I love this fic. And I’m psure Cas gets a cat.

26.  Say a Prayer and Light a Candle - College AU where Cas struggles with dating agnostic Dean bc he is very Jewish, and it’s important to him and his family. This fic is special, and really culturally rich. I love it. Little bit of Angst, mostly love and sweetness.

27. Painted Angels - Fuck u this one is hurt of my heart. The Angst is Unreal. Dean is an artist. Or, he was an Artist. Lost Love, which gets found again. Cas returning to town a decade later. All the good shit.

28. Small Town Charmer - SMALL TOWNS! DEAN AND CAS! THEY RUN BUSINESSES AND FALL IN LOVE! Errrrrrr OTHER STUFF HAPPENS! This fic is lovely and great and if you don’t read it then u a dum dum.

29. Summer Holds a Song (We Might Sing Forever) - :) Age difference. Body worship. Dean Winchester described as a Greek God. The fucking is so hot. The love is so sweet. It’s short, but you gotta read this.

30. The Great Escapist - This fic is so sweet. College roommates Dean and Cas spend the summer together and fall in love. I don’t remember if there is Gay panic but like... I’m pretty sure.

Okay! 30 seems like enough. Maybe in the future I will do a part five. We’ll see. :)

____

Top 8 Personal Favs

[kaiuhs-blog]

all of them ily :) :***

Send “✆” for a MORNING text.

[ freshman year of college, 2013 ] [9:14am] kaia ➝ jude: hey[9:15am] kaia ➝ jude: this is kaia from art class ???? [9:15am] kaia ➝ jude: can we meet up today we have to start on the project lmao[9:30am] kaia ➝ jude: i hope u know that u still have ur read receipts on for me so stop IGNORING me ur not edgy

Send “” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

[11:32pm / unsent] kaia ➝ jude: sometimes i really miss it when we were together. i know that i was the one who broke things off but it’s just hard to explain or maybe it’s nto even hard at all and i was just fuckign scared[11:48pm / unsent] kaia ➝ jude: but i ruined it all i did it for no reason and it was completely unfair to you because you deserve so much better htan that you deserve an explanation you dserve a reason and god you just deserve someone so much betterERROR! TEXT MESSAGES NOT SENT! REVIEW THE MESSAGES AND TRY AGAIN!

Send “☎” for a RUSHED text.

[12:53pm] kaia ➝ jude: YORUE’ SUCH A LIAR U SAID UWOULDNT GET MEBACK FOR DIRAWNG A DICKODN YOUR FACE THAT ONE TIME[12:56pm] kaia ➝ jude: JDUE WTF DID U DRAW I CANT EVEN GET ITO FF MY FACE I CANTWALK AROUND LIEK THIS!!!!

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[ freshman year of college, 2013 ] [3:43am] kaia ➝ jude: i knwo thta u htaed me at first bhc we alwaxys argued hin art class[3:45am] kaia �� jude: and thaht’s jokay bc i didn'it like u ceither u were alwfays so pretenitsous baout ur arft[3:50am] kaia ➝ jude: but i’m reallny scared bc nwo whervene i hang around you i start getting reallzy nervobus and gmy heart jjust bzeats na lot faster[3:51am] kaia ➝ jude: i think tu jugst stress me out a lot aynd it’s starting to gkive me high blojoda[3:51am] kaia ➝ jude: owr mvaybe i just likde oyu god i relaly rrealy like yoju

Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text.

[ freshman year of college, 2014 ] [5:29pm] kaia ➝ jude: OMG SO THE SBFA CURRENTLY HAS THEIR ART INTERNSHIPS OPEN AND WE SHOULD APPLY!!!!![5:32pm] kaia ➝ jude: JUDE U CAN’T NOT DO IT UR WORK IS SO SO SO AMAZING there’s no way they won’t pick u idk about me but i might as well give it a shot too WHAT IF WE GET IT TOGETHER 

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

[11:15pm] kaia ➝ jude: hey jude could u add me back to the gc[11:16pm] kaia ➝ jude: ur sister kicked me out again lol…………[11:16pm] kaia ➝ jude: honestly how are u guys related[11:17pm] kaia ➝ jude: the fact that u guys share the same dna still shocks me till this day

Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.

[ freshman year of college, 2013 ] [9:21am] kaia ➝ jude: listen here buddy if u fucking insult my sketch one more time in class ur honestly gonna have it coming for u[9:24am] kaia ➝ jude: we get it mr high and mighty u know a lot abt drawing or whatever lmao but everyone has different opinions I WAS JUST HAVING A ROUGH DAY W THAT SKETCH[9:25am] kaia ➝ jude: i rlly thought u’d be a lot better since we have to work together on that mid-term project now but ur critiques are still so mean[9:26am] kaia ➝ jude: that drawing u did in class today isn’t ur best work either idk what ur coming at me for :/ but go off ig

Send “#” for a RANDOM text.

[2:12pm] kaia ➝ jude: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8ACNty077I

Send “@” for a SCARED text.

[6:32pm] kaia ➝ jude: JUDE I THOOUGHT UW WERE JOKING ABOTU THE SPIDERS IN MY OROM WHTA THE HELL[6:35pm] kaia ➝ jude: U ONLY PUT ONE THOUGHRIHGT I ONLY SEE ONE WHERE ARE THE OTHERS[6:35pm] kaia ➝ jude: JUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET RID OF HTEM RIHGTNOW

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

[7:03pm] kaia ➝ jude: thanks for being such a good friend[7:04pm] kaia ➝ jude: and taking care of me when i was drunk that one night i probably would’ve passed out on the beach & gotten swept up in the ocean waves if it wasnt for u[7:05pm] kaia ➝ jude: ur a little devil sometimes but idk where i’d be without u :)

Send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

[10:38pm] kaia ➝ jude: jw this is for science i dont rlly care or anything but does jade ever talk about me[10:39pm] kaia ➝ jude: not that i care abt what she says or thinks of me i know shes ur sister but we’re still enemies….. [10:40pm] kaia ➝ jude: anyway moving on another scientific question but how long did that emo phase of urs last for… did it ever even end

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[2:26am] kaia ➝ jude: HEYHEHYEHYEY JUDEEEEEEE[2:27am] kaia ➝ jude: DON’T MAKE IT BADDD, TAKE A SAD SONG AND MAKE IT BETTERRRR[2:27am] kaia ➝ jude: WHY DID U NEVER TELL ME THAT U MET THE BEATLES AND LEFT SUCH AN IMPACT ON THEM THAT THEY WROTE A SONG ABOUT U???

Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

[1:28pm] kaia ➝ jude: DON’T FUCKING KILL THE SPIDER JUST WRAP IT UP N PUT IT IN A BOX ILL PAY U $20 !!!! BENJI PLS HELP ME OUT AND COME THROUGH…..I’M GONNA PUT THIS UNDER HIS BED[1:30pm] kaia ➝ jude: yeah….. that wasn’t meant for u…. 

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

[3:54am / unsent] kaia ➝ jude: why do you still hang around me? how can you still manage to look at me in the face and not hate me after everything i did? why can’t you just be like everyone else and fucking hate me and say mean things? i broke your heart, jude. what part of that don’t you understand? we were fine and we were happy and i ended it. remember the late nights just walking around an empty city, drawing on each other when the other falls asleep, sending songs back and forth??? it all stopped because of me.[4:35am / unsent] kaia ➝ jude: so please, i need you to tell me that you hate me. just look me in the face and tell me that you hate me and that you hate being my fucking friend and you never wanna talk to me ever again. tell me that you’re sorry we ever even met and that we ever even got paired up for that art project. because it honestly really kills me to be your friend when deep down i know i don’t deserve that, i fucking know i don’t deserve being able to talk to you and being your friend after what i did and everything that happened. you’re the first boy i ever truly liked who made me feel the way i did and made me feel like i was dancing on air every time we hung out. you made my heart do flips and my stomach turn and i liked you so so much and god, i might’ve even loved you. the thought of that scared me because i never wanted to rely and depend on someone this much, i didn’t wanna get too attached because what if it didn’t work out anyways? what if we fell in too deep and we just ended up getting hurt even more in the end? the more you laughed and looked at me the way you did i just fell even more in love with you and i was afraid. i always mess it all up and everyone just starts hating me in the end, so why are you still here?ERROR! TEXT MESSAGES NOT SENT! REVIEW THE MESSAGES AND TRY AGAIN!