#< spent years working for my mom in her crochet shop and talking with the shop that spun/dyed their own yarn

[steampunkedparm]

i already kinda rambled on the tags sorry lol but!! if your argument is that your allergic/sensitive to wool:

Buddy Do I Have News For You

there's more than just sheep's wool!!! (hi I'm also allergic to sheep :) it sucks i want to hug one so bad) we got yak, we got alpaca, and right now that's all i can list off the top of my head but! i promise you there is probably a wool out there you can find. and!! bonus!! if you're buying wool there's a high chance you're supporting someone directly :) it may be more expensive; but hand spun and hand dyed wool is so worth it oh my gods

(i mourn my sheeps wool allergy every day because of the hand dyed wool my mom buys sometimes. its so gorgeous and soft </3)

(I'm also aware that there are more than just sheep wool allergies)

[boredinterview]

Libby Jansing on self-care, snickerdoodles, and divinity.

H: what are you wearing?

L: I’m wearing a striped rainbow sweater and this corduroy jumper thing my aunt got me for Christmas like two years ago. it was hers when she was younger and she gave it to me. she’s like “I saw it and I thought of you!” she’s my godmother.

H: my nanny texted me this morning when I was at cece’s, this picture of these overalls she saw on a facebook ad. she was like “these look like you”, they had like flowers all up and down.

L: that’s so sweet, I love that! I call my grandma nanny too.

H: oh yeah! I feel like we’ve talked about that before.

L: yeah, I love when other people call their grandma, nanny. It’s so sweet. my grandpa who I didn’t really know—he died when I was little—but we called him poppy.

H: dude! I call my grandpa pops, but then on my other side of my family, my dads mom is called grandy. which, she chose that name for herself. she started enforcing it when I was in the womb. and my grandpa, he died when I was little too, but we called him pawpaw.

L: that’s really sweet, I love that. my catholic grandparents were just grandma and grandpa which is like such catholic shit.

H: basic, straightforward, down to business. No frills whatsoever.

L: exactly!

H: so, describe your idea of self-care.

L: I think for me it shifts and changes depending on how I’m feeling. I’ve been really focusing on astrology lately and I think the transits really effect how I interact and take care of myself. It’s been a lot of trying to start new things which I think is because of aries season. starting new things—not even necessarily finishing them—but just starting them is making me feel good. and honestly still just like taking baths every day.

H: yeah, that’s so nice. what kind of new things have you been starting? like creative projects?

L: I’ve started a few things. I’m still working on five commissions that I have left which are projects I need to prioritize since you know they’re for people. I’ve been paid for them so I have to finish them, but I’m getting close on all of them which is good. I purchased a printer so I can print off the shipping labels.

H: hell yeah, that’s great!

L: also my friend Kelly and I are starting a podcast!

H: (excited gasp)

L: it’s an astrology podcast. we also talk about politics, we just have the best interactive mercury signs with one another. I have a gemini mercury and hers is in aries so we just talk talk talk and can’t stop. I’m always thinking constantly but I don’t always take note, I’m better at communicating my ideas out loud rather than writing them out so I’m excited to be communicating on a level like that.

H: yes! that’s so good.

L: yeah, so that’s been fun. I’ve been baking a lot too which I don’t really do usually.

H: amazing. what have you made?

L: I made snickerdoodles the other day just because I had those ingredients in the apartment and like.. they were so good! I felt like I did a really good job.

H: I love snickerdoodle ice cream.

L: snickerdoodles I think are my favorite cookies. I love cinnamon.

H: same! what is something that brings you joy lately?

L: I watch the British baking show a lot, and that brings me joy.

H: I love that show. I need to catch up on it, I know they switched out some of the hosts right? Like Mary Berry isn’t on it anymore.

L: I don’t think anyone’s the same. I haven’t watched the new seasons at all. like the two hosts—I don’t know anyone’s name on it at all—they’re introduced like every episode and I can never remember any names except for Mary Berry. her name is so easy. I know most of them are gone now though.

H: the old ones are nostalgic.

L: it totally does feel like that.

H: okay, what do you miss?

L: I miss thrifting honestly. going to antique stores and just looking at things. I don’t miss buying things, I miss browsing. also I really miss my friends.

H: I feel you. I miss both of those things a lot too.

L: yeah! I miss flea markets.

H: I’ve been so tired of all my clothes too which is so inconvenient! I’m trying to think what I can do at home to alter my clothes.

L: same! I don’t want to online shop for anything that isn’t essential either cause I just feel like that’s shitty.

H: I know. I feel like it’s a little bit irresponsible in a lot of cases.

L: yeah same. I’m also excited to get back in the studio. tommy and I are sharing that studio in Brighton.

H: yeah! the space looks great!

L: it’s part of sew valley. it isn’t really working right now, like their production isn’t going right now. I’m just excited to make clothes but I think I’m going to start crocheting clothes as well.

H: yeah that’s awesome you can just make new shit! It’s a good skill.

what do you not miss?

L: I do not miss working at all. honestly I’ve needed to go to therapy less during this time.

H: (laughing)

L: it’s fucked up. literally that’s how bad capitalism is. like, it’s shitty both ways because I’m not making any money right now and unemployment is really hard to get for whatever reason, but I’m so happy to not be at a restaurant every day. Honestly I think I’ve decided to go to a state school and get my masters in something. I’m thinking about going back to school—that’s what this time is giving me.

H: that’s awesome!

L: yeah.

H: the restaurant industry is so crazy sometimes because it feels like every single day just piles on and you don’t really have time to consider shit like that.

L: not at all.

H: you’re just so spent all the time.

L: yeah I was constantly tired. It was really hard to make things during that time too, I found myself very mentally exhausted all the time. I don’t have the temperament or personality to be a host. I can fake being sweet in that position but it’s hard to be on all the time.

H: yeah, I think that’s the hardest part about it. If you’re having an off day talking to the people who don’t care about you and don’t show you respect is really difficult.

L: yes. that’s exactly it. there’s always people that you meet who are nice, but even people who are kind to you and nice—it can still be exhausting after a while.

H: yeah it’s just so high volume.

L: yes!

H: what is something beautiful you’ve seen lately?

L: there’s a german sheperd that lives above me and this dog is so beautiful. sometimes it sounds like there’s a horse above me (laughing) but this dog is so pretty. I love seeing him every day.

H: that’s beautiful, I love that. that’s a great answer to that question.

describe your concept of divinity.

L: that is such an intense question but I love it. I had a super religious upbringing, going to a catholic school all my life and like even my preschool was Christian. I think I went to one year of public school when I was five. it was a young fives program and it was like… fucking amazing. the public school systems are amazing, we were like planting things in the ground. I think because of that it really engrained in me a need for ritual. catholics are very ritualistic. It’s a very clear stepping stone to me to get into my own spirituality. when I realized, you know—christianity isn’t it. It’s not great. It’s not for me and I don’t think it’s like, net good for the world. I always felt spiritual and connected whether it’s like to other people or the divinity in each other. I feel like everyone has divinity within themselves and it’s just about accessing it and respecting it. I feel like I more so practice it than I know what it is. you know what I mean?

H: totally, it’s a feeling.

L: yeah absolutely. I don’t know what it is. astrology is super important to my spiritual practice and tarot. I don’t know how it works, but it works you know? I don’t understand how these things happen. I love mystery and the mystical. I would be so bummed if I didn’t have that in my life. things that you can’t explain—I think that to me is what divinity is. I see it around me all the time.

H: thank you so much, that was awesome to hear.

L: I love that question. what is it for you, harris?

H: oh man! now I’m being interviewed. I am coming from a similar mind as you. I was not raised religious. I have people in my family like my grandparents are christians but even then we only went to church when I was really little so it didn’t have like a lasting effect on me. in terms of religion I was afraid that it might be real just because of hell, and then I rejected that pretty early once I started to like feel …gay. I was like “this doesn’t add up.”

L: yeah! harris, when I was little and I was like “oh… girls are pretty” probably around eight or something—my reaction was like “I’m going to be a nun when I’m older so I don’t have to think about sex” genuinely! That was my reaction.

H: wow!

L: I feel like I didn’t reject it, I went extreme. that’s like the guilt that comes especially with catholicism, it’s a religion built on guilt. it’s like even if you are worthy of god you’re still a sinner, it’s all built on guilt and like how shit you are as a person. it’s not great, you know? but you started to reject it after you were feeling gay?

H: yeah I stopped putting any stock into religion at all. but I have always been very spiritual as well. I’ve always felt like similar to you, a feeling of connection with my surroundings and things I can’t see or explain. I love astrology because it’s this weird cosmic thing that is just so fun to talk and learn about and somehow rings true. I don’t understand how it’s so accurate but it is. I love the moon (laughing) I love—not to get all over here with it—

L: get over there with it!

H: (laughing) I think poetry is a part of it for me as well, just conjuring things up that feel like they come from somewhere else. there are things that are impossible to understand which is crazy and cool.

L: yeah, I love that. that’s beautiful. thank you harris.

H: yes, thank you!

the next question, what’s your favorite body part?

L: oh my god my favorite body part. I feel like hands are my favorite utility. I’m so grateful for my hands, I think about it all the time. the cutest part for me though is definitely noses. everyone has a good nose.

H: I agree, I agree.

L: it’s such a fixation for people, like an insecurity but I literally see everyone’s nose and I’m like “that’s a cute nose.”

H: yeah! there’s no such thing as a bad nose.

L: no, noses are amazing, I love them. and I feel like smell is such an interesting sense too. it’s so connected with taste. do you remember that chef’s table episode where the chef has cancer on his tongue and he loses the ability to taste and smell the food?

H: yeah!

L: I think about that a lot. smell and taste is so important especially if your life is devoted to it. it does bring a different aspect of joy to life. the external part of it but its function too.

H: yeah, its amazing that he was able to continue and find new ways of creating with food.

L: yeah, so cool!

H: tell me something stupid.

L: (laughing) I could say so many things. because I’m in this new space, this new apartment, my body hasn’t figured out how to be in it yet. I live very much from the shoulders up.

H: YES!

L: and like, from shoulders down we don’t really know what’s happening. it’s a mind of its own. I’m very clumsy. my dad used to call me a bull in a china shop when I was growing up, and that rings true! I’m genuinely not aware of my body. I feel like that’s the gemini stellium, I’m very in the brain and not where the body is. I keep hitting this part of my leg in the same spot every single day and I have this giant bruise. It’s getting bigger because I keep hitting it. It’s in the bathroom, the toilet is just in this location that my body hasn’t gotten adjusted to. it’s the outside of my knee.

H: fuck. you’re body just isn’t with it yet.

L: it usually isn’t with it and in this moment it just has no idea.

H: I hope you start adjusting soon!

L: me too Harris! I think I will. tommy said it’s probably just a matter of time.

H: (laughing) I don’t love that for you but I love it.

L: it’s one of those things I’ll cry in frustration about and then laugh over how silly that is.

H: do you have any confessions to make?

L: (laughing) forgive me harris for I have sinned! confessions, oh my god. I’m transported. probably, you know! I hear my neighbor groaning and moaning a lot and I feel like I’m being too hard on him, you know what I mean? I feel like he’s just a person but my brain is taking me to this place. I feel like he’s an incel that’s going to kill me, and I know that’s irrational. he’s probably just living his life. I have to be careful for myself. I feel like I judge people too hard from a safety standpoint sometimes but I think that’s also without a basis.

Madison: I feel like you’re really good at meeting people though and then changing it. you’re good at not letting your initial judgements cloud when you meet someone.

L: thank you so much Madison, that makes me feel a lot better. I feel like my scorpio rising energy makes me not trust people right away but I try to not let that influence too much. sometimes you have to listen to your intuition but I don’t want it to get in the way of me treating people like people.

H: totally! I also feel like that instinct comes from a place of being a person in the world who is vulnerable. the hesitation is understandable. it’s not necessarily bad.

L: I’m okay having it and I should listen to myself when I’m really feeling something but I don’t want it to get in the way of treating people with humanity, that’s my fear with it. I want to be actively aware of that portion in my brain that jumps there immediately.

H: that’s a practice everybody should be doing definitely.

L: yes, in multiple ways.

H: to bring it to a close I’m going to ask you a series of one word questions.

wanting?

L: food. I’m hungry.

H: wishing?

L: I’m always wishing. fantasy, that’s me. I’m always a little bit in the clouds sometimes.

H: advice?

L: If you have any I’ll take it.

H: I’ll get back to you on that.

L: anyone who feels like they have advice to give me, I’m open. I’m usually not for unsolicited advice but I’m asking for it right now.

H: allowing?

L: myself and others to make more mistakes and not punish them for it. holding people accountable but allowing people to grow and make mistakes.

H: doing?

L: doing crafts! yeah. that’s my answer.

[iamartemisday]

Merry Christmas, Ms Foster! Day Seven

It turned out, everyone got a gift on Christmas Eve.

Jomungandr flipped through a book about Andy Warhol while Sif kissed the life out of Thor for her new pair of personalized boxing gloves. Darcy, who even Ian would’ve admitted was hard to shop for, seemed perfectly content with a thousand dollar gift card signed by Loki. Hela had already printed out two dozen photos on her new printer, one of which Fenrir stepped on as he flew his drone around the cabin. Frigga and Odin admired the keepsake boxes the triplets had made for them. Off to the side by the mirror, Jane helped Bucky into the new winter coat she’d bought him.

“How much did you spend on this?” he asked.

“No more than I spent on anyone else,” she said. “So what did you get me?”

“Remember back when all you wanted was a scientist Barbie for Christmas and your dad forgot to buy it?”

“Yeah.”

“Turns out, they don’t make those anymore.”

Jane rolled her eyes as he laughed and pulled her into a hug. They rejoined the party, Jane finding a spot by the fireplace to watch the kids play. So far, no one had started any fights, though if Fenrir ran over Hela’s pictures one more time, he might just get that drone thrown in his face. Someone had jazzy Christmas music playing on the flat screen. Jane tapped her foot to the beat, scanning the room for any sign of Loki.

She hadn’t seen him since the first present was opened.

Her trip into town had taken longer than she’d hoped. First a deer jumped in front of their car. Jane’s heart was still racing from that one. Then it took three separate stops to find exactly what she was looking for. Hallmark movies, among other things, had lied through their teeth about small mountain towns. All they had here were apathetic store owners tired from the holiday rush and a Starbucks. Finally the last owner tried to upcharge her twenty percent, and it was only Jane’s staunch refusal to be cheat that saved her from losing money. Bucky standing right behind her glaring at the guy might’ve also helped a little.

But that was all over and she had what she needed. Now she just had to find her giftee. 

She checked the kitchen first. That seemed to be his sanctuary whenever Thor got especially exuberant or if he just wanted a moment alone. When he wasn’t in there, she headed downstairs. The pool was empty, as was the gym. He wasn’t in his bedroom either, though his keys were still on the nightstand. 

Now she wandered back into the party. Thor and Sif had the kids together in a game of blind man’s bluff, laughing as a blindfolded Darcy snatched at the air a foot above Fenrir’s head.

“Your echolocation sucks,” he said, sidestepping another fruitless thrash of Darcy’s arm.

“Keep talking, kid, I’ll knock all your Santa hunting gear out the window!”

The chase continued as Jane’s eyes moved to the back window. A shadow on the trees made her look closer. It was Loki, standing in the middle of the snow, arms crossed, staring into the night like a watchman guarding against invaders. Jane kept him in her line of sight as she took her coat off the rack and walked outside. Wind slapped her across the face and sent her hair flying. She wrapped her arms around herself and kept walking. 

Loki didn’t turn around. “Don’t you want to enjoy the festivities?”

She stood beside him. “Don’t you?” 

“I will,” he said. He blew out a mouthful of air. “Sometimes I wish to be alone to think.”

“Alone outside in the middle of winter.”

“Yes,” he said. “I’m glad you understand.”

Jane chuckled. She wasn’t as cold as she was a moment ago. It was like he radiated warmth. “Did you like your present?”

She had given him a crochet scarf. Knowing that he was a billionaire and could easily by a hundred of whatever she got him, Jane had tossed aside all feelings of insecurity and bought him something she’d got for any male friend(?). He wore it now around his neck, tucked into his coat. That had to be a good sign.

“It is very useful,” he said. “You chose well.”

If that was the closest she’d get to a ‘thank you’ she’d take it. “Good, because I have one more thing for you.”

Loki turned his head as Jane reached into her pocket. “I thought we all agreed one present each.”

“This isn’t for Christmas,” she said, taking out a small wrapped box with a bow on top. For once, she was proud of her wrapping skills. “Happy Birthday.”

Loki eyed her, like he thought this was a trap and she’d pull a gun out any second. He took the box was some token hesitation and slid his finger through the tape. All the paper fell away, revealing a red and white box with a Christmas tree design. Inside the window, a larger cat cuddled with three kittens. All four wore green and red hats, scarves, and mittens. It was hard to tell inside a box, but a button on the back played a tinkling lullaby rendition of Silent Night. 

“It was a tradition for my parents,” Jane said. “Every year, they’d give each other a new ornament for the tree. Mom said it was because they were each other’s most special person.”

He looked at her. “Are you trying to imply something?”

She shrugged. “Not really. I know we’ve only known each other for a few months and… well, we did get off to a rocky start, but you are someone very special, Loki. Your whole family is. And I’m glad I get to spend Christmas with you guys. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

Loki swallowed. He opened the box and held the ornament to the light. One of the kittens sat on the father cat’s head while the other two cuddled close. All of them wore peaceful smiles. They were together and nothing else mattered.

“I know you’re wondering why I didn’t tell you,” he said.

“Hela told me you said you would,” Jane replied. 

He nodded. “I did consider it, don’t think I didn’t. There are just things about my life you don’t know. Things I may decide to tell you one day, but for now… well, in truth, I’ve never liked to think about the day of my birth.”

Jane took his hand. It happened involuntarily, but even after she came to her senses, she couldn’t let go. She didn’t really want to. “Even if you don’t, your kids love you so much. Your family loves you. I think even Bucky might almost be okay with you now.”

“The feeling is not mutual,” he said, but with a faint half-smile. 

“What I mean is, even if you don’t want to celebrate your birthday, you deserve the recognition,” Jane said. “You’re a great father, and not too bad a person either.”

They shared a long, lingering look (‘this is the part where sappy music plays and the kiss happens you know…’). Loki’s other hand came to rest on top their clasped ones. Jane bit her lip. He appeared to be staring at them, but then he glanced at a patch of bushes by the treeline 

“Did you know that’s a mistletoe plant?”

Jane started to laugh, but he did not. “Wait, seriously?”

“It would be a strange thing to lie about if I was,” he said. If Jane didn’t know better, she’d think he was getting closer.

“Well, it sounds like you meant to pick that and nail it to the ceiling,” she said, leaning in just a bit. “You know that’s how it’s supposed to work.”

“It must have slipped my mind.” He lowered his head.

“I guess so,” Jane could feel his breath on her face. “We both have a lot to think about.”

Her eyes fluttered. If there was ever a time to stop it was now. Everything was so warm…

“DAD!”

They jumped apart. Jormungandr ran through the snow, tripping twice, but never stopping.

“What is it, son?” Loki stopped to fix his hair before Jormungandr grabbed him. 

“We did it! We did it, Dad! We found Santa!”

He dragged Loki inside, Jane following close behind. Hela and Fenrir were at their stations. Their equipment was alive with lights and alarm bells. On the screen, Santa soared across the sky in a red sleigh, eight Reindeer running on air, guiding him through the night. With a mighty ‘Ho-ho-ho’, Santa sped out of view, but the minute of footage the children had gotten was enough for them.

“We did it!” Hela jumped into Jane’s arms and hugged her around the neck. “We did it! We did it!”

“You did,” Jane said, hugging her back. “I’m so proud of you guys.”

They danced around the room, pulling the adults into the festivities. Even Fenrir was on his feet, pulling Darcy into a spin. Jane put Hela down so she could hug her grandma next, then gave Loki a smirk.

“So did you pay a guy to dress a plane up like a sleigh,” she asked, “or was some kind of hologram?”

Loki smirked right back. “I don’t know what you mean, dear Jane. It’s like you don’t believe in Christmas miracles.”

Someone else might’ve wanted to slap him for that. Jane got up on tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. “Merry Christmas, Loki.” 

He turned his head abruptly. Their lips brushed. “Merry Christmas, Jane.”

**

In the morning, Jane was up before anyone else. She walked into the living room, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Presents were piled under the tree for the kids and adults alike to devour. A multitude of decorations glittered in the early sun, including one new decoration settled right under the silver star. 

Jane reached up carefully and pressed the button. Silent Night played as she stood back, watching the little cats sleep. 

“So this is how my Christmas special goes,” Jane murmured, smiling at Loki’s door. “I think it’s been pretty good.”

[mvrgarets-blog]

[ candice king, cisfemale, she/her, 29 ] LIONHEARTED by BILLIE MARTEN? whenever i hear that song, it reminds me of MARGARET ‘MAGGIE’ MORRISON. maybe because they’re COMPASSIONATE but also RETICENT. they’ve been living at mulberry apartments since JANUARY of 2018 in APARTMENT 307 and have 0 ROOMMATES. ( COFFEE BREAK & APRICOT PRINCESS ) [ kay, she/her, twenty-two, est ]

tw for mentions of terminal illness & anxiety below !

BIO INFORMATION

hello all ! this is margaret ‘maggie’ the loml and the sweetest bean you’re ever going to encounter. truthfully. give this post a lil likey and i’ll approach you to plot !

born in baltimore, maggie’s first memories are from when she was around four years old, when she was adopted by the couple that fostered her after a pretty rough time in the system.her father ran a bookstore, and her mother was a pediatric nurse.

because of her mother’s long hours, and the fact that daycare was expensive, maggie grew up in the bookstore and it fostered in her a love for literature & storytelling. it wasn’t long after that her natural affinity for performance was discovered. 

maggie became really devoted to performing ( singing and acting, namely )  and because her parents were so devoted to her, they scraped together the funds to enroll her in various theater, voice, and dance classes. it was money well-spent, because all of her instructors saw in margaret the makings of a professional.  ( truly, she has the voice of a disney princess here’s her voice claim i’m LOVE ). 

this passion transferred into her being accepted into one of the most prestigious theater programs in the country. she was a sophomore in college by the time she was offered a professional gig in new york, which she promptly accepted. from there, she started on a pretty prestigious career path, landing principal & starring roles in broadway productions. 

that being said , it was a pretty cutthroat community for someone as young as she was and it did a number on her general self confidence -- she sort of started taking a backseat in her life. while it would have been easy to become cruel and self-centered, she continued to be kind and positive -- to the point that people easily took advantage of it or considered her to be underhanded. she wasn’t. 

it was around the time that she was 24 that he appeared in her life. a british film star making his debut on broadway opposite maggie, he charmed her, took care of her. he made her feel special, at least for the first few months. after that, he was bad news. constantly stringing her along and apologizing after the fact. people tried to warn her against him ( none more than best friend eitan ) but love makes you blind. and she had become so blind that even his disappearance of nearly six months with minimal contact became acceptable so long as he had the story to back it up, and he did. he always did, and he always had a pretty spectacular way of making her feel that it was her fault that she felt however she did. 

maggie & her beau carried on like this for three years before the easiest fix for all that was wrong was for him to put a ring on her finger. the engagement should have been a really exciting time, but instead she noticed nathan dragging his feet. 

everything came crashing down pretty simultaneously when it was revealed to maggie that her father was battling end stage colon cancer - the man who always proclaimed to be ‘healthy as a horse’ had foregone doctor’s appointments, devoting his time instead to keeping the store afloat. he passed away. 

devastated, maggie reexamined her priorities and broke off the engagement. she did not want to live a life that was filled with regret. the moment her contract was up, she packed up her apartment and relocated to baltimore to help her mom sort out the shop & take some time to decompress and process. 

what she thought would be a few months has now crept into nearly a year of looking after the store, and nearly a year of dodging calls from an agent that wants to see her back on the stage. as much as she misses it, maggie feels as though she owes it to her dad to find a way to save his life’s work.

occasionally, she’ll perform with the symphony orchestra or travel to new york for concerts but it’s pretty rare. more frequently, she teaches private voice lessons & hosts workshops for young performers. 

really, though, maggie’s terrified of returning to any sort of normal life, because it means figuring out who she is -- and being assertive. 

PERSONALITY / OTHER INFO

the first thing people typically notice about maggie is her generally sunny disposition. in all aspects of her life, she attempts to find the positive, rather than harbor on the negative. she’s generally equipped  with a smile. her sense of humor is something she takes pride in ( whether or not other people agree is a totally different subject ), and she’s always cracking jokes of some kind. genuinely kind and compassionate, maggie’s first priority is those she cares about. despite her life in the limelight, she can be very introverted and may distance herself from others when she’s overwhelmed.  she has the tendency to be headstrong, fidgety, flighty, and sometimes impatient.  She can be very stubborn and at times fail to see reason, but tries her very best to communicate herself even if it isn’t always successful. she is very easily flustered and overwhelmed. she tries allows herself to be vulnerable and feel everything that she needs to feel, but never does it in front of others. more often, she bottles up her feelings in a really unhealthy way  she’s blunt if she needs to be, and straightforward with her intentions. she has little patience for people who play games, and honesty is incredibly important to her. if you are loved by maggie, though, it is with her whole heart, and she’ll do just about anything to make sure that you know that.

maggie cares?? just so much about other people. she’s altrustic to a fault, and is incredible at looking after others even though she’s not so good at looking after herself. 

massive dork? really silly sense of humor??

she loves to bake but is not great at it. 

has an australian shepherd named bailey who she loves more than anything in the whole world? he’s also a certified therapy dog ! she got him certified so that he could visit her dad in the hospital. 

pls don’t let the height of my fc confuse you, she’s is a smol bean ( standing at 5′2″ ) 

extremly fidgety and  comes across as someone with a ‘ SKITTISH ‘disposition. she often picks up new hobbies like knitting and crochet to keep her hands busy

has major trouble with anxiety & panic attacks. 

she tries to hide what she’s feeling 100% of the time and it never works.

prone to overreacting. 

loves movies & pop culture. 

talks really fast. 

[zebra-warrior]

Five things I'm greatful for and then some.

1. My parents. I honestly couldn't ask for a better set of parents than I have. As a kid we didn't have much money. My parents wanted to purchase a nice house to raise me in so I had the best environment to grow up in possible but in choosing the home they did everyting else was very tight but they never made it feel that way. Back in the day when crafting and building things were less expensive than buying them (boy have things changed with crafting) if we didn't have someting they would make it. I remember a lot of my friends would have birthday parties at places like Chuck E. Cheese, Magic Mountain, the Zoo or a skating rink. My parants didn't really have the money to do that and what they had they would have rather spent on a nice present for me so my mom would decorate the house and my dad would go out and mow the grass really short. They would dig holes in the ground and put PVC pipe in the holes that my dad would get at work from the dumpster and turn our back yard into a put put course. They would put up a vollyball net and crochet set and we would use big workshop vice grip clamps and turn them upside down as putters. The house they bought already had a swing set and swimming pool so I would have pool parties and with magic mountain in my own back yard. It was a lot of work but not a lot of money even though to me it felt like they spent a fortune. Everyone always looked forward to my birthday parties as a kid. They were always a bit hit. Not to mentuon sidewalk chalk was someting they also would splurge on so setting up the driveway with lots of fun stuff was something my dad liked to do. He used to like drawing with chalk as much as I did. As I got older they always made things work. When I began getting bullied at school I was switched to a private home school coop. Which my great grandma who was also the best grandma ever paid for knowing my parents couldn't and she couldn't stand seeing me hurt the way I was but my mom would drive me 35 minutes to school, drive almost an hour to work then after work wound drive almost an hour to pick me up and then 35 minutes back home every day for 3 years until I got my driver's license. She was so excited for me to get my license she took me a month early for my T

temps. I told her it was too early and she said it wasn't and whan I got there they said come back next month lol. I never wanted to drive. I was always afraid but she couldn't get me to the BMV fast enough lol. My parents also taught me a lot about the value of money and work ethic and now say they taught me too well because I'm known to shop for several months for something more costly that I need like contact lenses in order to find the best price, all coupons and all rebates and sales available. I got my first job at age 11 and was able to buy my first car myself, pay for college myself without taking out one loan and buy my first home outright and as a foreclosure to remodel and fix up how I wanted it to look. My second car was the only thing I've ever taken out a loan on. When I got sick and OSU tried to put me in a nursing facility my parents offered to help me sell my house and take me back in with open arms so I could be cared for in their home instead of a long term care facility. They still help me to this day cooking for me, driving me to appointments when I can't use transportation services, cleaning and helping me bathe myself. I now pay them rent and utilities as well as half of groceries and personal needs of my dog and myself not because I think for a second they would dump me into a long term care faculty if I didnvt but because it's the right thing to do. This ties in with family but I'm so very greatful and thankful to still have my mom. She was on life support after having her liver cut into during a botched surgery which resulted in a full blown liver rupture. It was the hands down the scariest moment of my life. We weren't sure she would make it and her doctors couldnt even give us that reassurance but she did everyting ahead of schedule and all I had to hold on to was her promise that she wasn't going anywhere. She kept that promises and on the day she was released the nurse that called when she began crashing came into the room shocked she was alive and admitted that she was sure my mom wasn't going to make it and that was the end for her. She was completely amazed my mom was still here. My mom was caught in the battle of her life, a battle she should have never had to fight and now has PTSD because of the experience but she's alive. My mom is here. I know a lot of adults have already lost a parent and I can't imagine the pain. Having my parants bring really the only family members I have a close relationship with and being my caregivers, I don't know what I wouls do without them. I would probably be in some nursing home somewhere without them. With my dad has Autism, though he was able to work, my mom paid bills, did most of the shopping as my dad can't use a debit card. But my mom does most of the money, paperwork and phone call related stuff for him so I can't imagine how life would even be able to continue without her. Or my dad. They both have two totally different rolls and being disabled I need them more than ever so I couldn't be happier this is in the past but couldn't be more upset or had to happen to begin with. In Ohio doctors are protected against medical malpractice and though she almost lost her life and will have life long physical complications and likely somewhat shorter of a life due to these complications she will never get the revenge she deserves and the doctor didn't even get a slap on the hand for what he did to her body and with now having PTSD, her mind.

2. Maggie: This dog has rolled with the punches and adapted flawlessly. She's my best friend and fur daughter. She picked up cardiac alert from my last baby Sandy and took to training to be able to use that ability as a career line a champ. I have seen her blossom from the puppy from heck. (no offend Ma-mag) but she would literally rip wallpaper off the wall with her teeth, it took 8 months to housebreak her and there was no such thing as no in her dictionary. She got into everything but I've since learned that was only because she was so intelligent and always curious because once she began training she excelled and grew into the most trusting and obedient dog I've ever had. Not only that but she thrived on structure. When working she walks on the leash beside me just fine but when I put her on my lap at that point nothing can stop her. She sits up all straight, sticks her chest out and thinks her poop doesn't smell. My lap is her thrown. I don't mind because she can alert just as well up there as she can waking, if not better because she doesnt have to try as hard to get my attention in loud and busy places. Not only is she obedient but when she's not formally working, even at 8 years old she's still very playfil and silly, always doing things to make me laugh or my heart melt. She's a velcro dog so I've always got a snuggle buddy and someone to keep me warm and my face coated in a layer if dog spit lol. I got her the day before I got my first pacemaker and she was the first one to sit at my bedside when I came out if surgery for my second one. As I went from a much closer to healthy individual who would take her on long walks and when stuck in a terrible relationship I would walk she and Sandy some days for several hours a day, sitting around the pond eating snacks, going into every store in walking distance that allowed pets and exploring the neighborhood to much sicker, in a chair with her only real walks occurring when she worked outside the home and a much more stagnant lifestyle Maggie never loved me any less, if anyting she loved me more because to my surprise she fell in love with my wheelchair and head over hills for my powerchair. When I turn my power chair on it makes a chiming sound and whan she hears that sound she makes a mad dash for the room I'm in begging for a ride. In her mind these changes in my life had made me no less the mommy to her as I was before. She is one person (yes I will call her a person) who I can count on to always love me no matter what. If it wasn't for her, I don't think I woukd he here. This conditon has made me want to go to bed and not wake up more than once and she's saved me every time and I can't thank her enough for being such a good girl.

3. My neighbor Pam has been my neighbor since I was 5 years old so she's been in my life most of my life and much more than any family member outside my household has ever been. She's basically my aunt or a second mom to me. As a kid she helped in reaching me the value of money and hard work my giving me my first two jobs at age 11. She has me clean her primates cages and prepare food for them not only teaching me the values of good, hard work but further fostering my love for animals. She's always had the primates as well as dogs and cats I would take care of when she was out of town. I was the first kid I knew to have a real job even if it was part time. It wasn't much later that I began babysitting her grandson who even now that he's grown and I no longer talk to him, I think if him as a little brother to me. He was the most well behaved kid I ever babysat and boy was it an eye opener when I started babysitting a lot of other kids in the neighborhood and saw how some kids can really act lol. Pam has always been there for me and my family. She would take me on summer trips sometimes like I remeber a trip to Wyndot Lake that really was a blast and she has always treated me like family. We have a key to her house and she has one to ours. When I got to the age I could stay home alone I never woried too much about if I couldnt find my key or the screen door was locked because I always knew she was just a short walk away if I needed help. She watchs our houses and we watch hers contacting each other if we see anyone or anyting unusual. She comes over each year for Christmas dinner and will occasionally surprise my parents by bringing over a soup she made or some cookies she baked and last summer sent a Chimney Sweep to our house because she knew my mom needed a break and we like to have fires in the winter but haven't had our Chimney cleaned in a while. For my 16th birthday she took my awe dry car to her business at the airport to clear coat it with the same material used to clear coat jets and whan I got sick I didn't have to worry because she is always nearby. Before I got transportation services she was always willing to drive me to my medical appointments and with Corona, she helped with shopping. Over the summer we could pick anyone in our family to go on a trip to the zoo with us my dad's last year of work and we chose my neighbors and had a great time. We may not be family by blood but my neighbor is my family. Not many people are lucky enough to have a neighbor they get along with or even care for yet ours is closer than extended family and for that I'm thankful.

4. My home. I couldn't be more lucky when my parents bought this house. It's almost as if they knew that when I grew up I would be in a chair. We live in a one story floor plan with a kitchen. That has an island in the middle so if I have someting I hand its still easy to just grab the counter and zip around in a circle to any part of the kitchen I need to get to. Before the passing of my grandma, she used a walker and wheelchair so my dad had already installed a ramp in our garage so I went into this journey with access to my home. My home is also set up so my dad found easily set up a ramp onto the back porch. I have always had a large bedroom, bigger than most people I know. It's similar in size to a master bedroom and being in a chair, thats very much a necessity now. In a chair you need a lot more room to navigate an area efficiently. Of course my home is far from perfect. The bathrooms are much too small to be truly accessable so I have to make due with what I have and my bathroom. Needs despiratly to be remodeled. Unfortunatly the bath tub that was put into my bathroom could quite possibly be the most unexcwssable bathtub for someone in a wheelchair in existence. I don't have a pull down closet nor do I have pull down cabinets in the kitchen or appliances I can easily use. I don't have a stove that rises and lowers or countertops that are at my height it an elevating powerchair to be able to reach those areas. Even the microwave is a Hazzard but as far as manuverability we have that. I can access every too. In our home except our basement and one part of a bathroom we have. It would be easier to menuvour here if my parants didn't have so mucb stuff and such big bulky furniture it I think that's also part of living with my parents. They have more life experience and more stuff but it's doable. Not everyone is lucky enough. After becoming disabled to have a home that's usable or has porential. Many were forced to move after getting sick or disabled. I was forced to move out of my home but my parents home is usable and I can't be more happy for this home.

5. Doctor Joseph and his staff. I went 30 years of my life unable to get help for this condition slowely robbing more and more from my body. When I came across Dr Joseph they were something I had never seen in the medical community. This was all new to me. I entered into a facility of four of the most caring and compassionate individuals I've ever encountered. I finally found a doctor who specializes in my conditon and he was just over a half hour away. But only was he familliar with the disease but also the comorbidities, Misconceptions, PTSD we have all faced from others who hold some form of medical degree and how we likely have no one to advocate for us and we have been on our own literally fighting through the pain and suffering. For appropriate medical treatment to only be dealt more pain and suffering. When he took me on I was the sickest I've ever been in my life and I so much pain I frankly can't believe I hadn't taken my life much before even hearing about him not only did he take me on as a patient knowing how big of a project I would be after over 200 doctors in the past saw me and just pushed me off but he never gave up, hasn't given up and I don't see him giving up on me in the future. His staff has fought tooth and nail with insurance companies on my behalf, files formal complaints about hospital care for me, brought me in on days they were fully booked to try to help me and spent weekends and holidays on the phone with my mom and the hospital angerly fighting with them to do the right thing and provide appropriate care. They may have not listened to him, learned to hate him and failed me terribly but at least I can't say my doctor and his staff didn't try. His wife came in on her day off to fight with my insurance company and they have helped me find the right goverment officials to contact with problems. The goverment officials may not have done anything but again, at least I can say they tried and that says a lot about a doctor. I. Not on the best treatment and the battle still continues to get me into a surgeon, gst testing completed and fight for more than the fifth or sixth best medication. They treat me no different than they would treat their own family members and that is something I've never seen in a doctor. I have seen improvement. It may not be as much as they would like but every bit of improovment is because the continue to fight to me, continue to teach me to advocate for myself and refuse to give up on me just because I'm a complicated case. I couldn't thank his office more for what they have done and continue to do each day.

I know that's five but just to list a few, I'm thankful for my late dog Sandy, my late Great Grandma, nature and other non harmful animals that cross my path, my local church, my online friends and the availability of support groups, the internet, with the virus I'm thankful for the new door that has opened for those of us who are homebound with all of these vertual tours and other New online resources that open the world up to us from our beds and couches, that I still have my mind, my manual and powerchair as I would have no way to access anyting, including my own house without them, the nice days after the ground has dried up and I'm able to roll around my yard and around the garden. To re-establish a love for crafting. My cricut and sewing machine and mich more. So just because there are things I'm very upset with in this world doesn't mean there aren't things I'm thankful for.

#myEDSchallenge #myHSDchallenge

[thepapers]

GATM//2: Bloom

I cringe. #backatitagainwithattemptstowrite

A chapter of attempting to develop some character devices cause its needed. But I really just want to skip to the meaty bits already gah.

Here’s to a multichapter fanfiction attempt of my current fave ship.

Previous: 1-A Fateful Meeting

It seemed like plate upon plate upon plate of food being set onto the table was never going to stop coming. An older woman with short stature and a ready smile on her face adorned with a plaid, navy blue apron was humming as she walked back to the kitchen once again to retrieve another serving of food to put on to the dining table.

"Eyyyy, Eomma! This is too much! You're overworking yourself," Ji Chang Wook playfully protested as he hovered between the kitchen and the dining table, watching it slowly get filled up with numerous dishes and sides until the surface could almost not be seen. He was pleased to see his mother in her element but was also partially, genuinely concerned at the time-consuming and hard work his mother must have put in to make the feast being laid in front of him.

"My son that I miss so much has come back from the army! All the mothers of Korea would be do the same thing. This is normal," Chang Wook's mom called out to him from the kitchen. After scooping a ladle full of soup onto a big bowl, she cautiously exited the kitchen. Chang Wook hurried to his mother to help her set the bowl on the table.

"A mother's joy among many things, is to feed her child food that she's cooked. And I haven't been able to cook your meals in a long time! Consider this a favor for your mom that's been lonely cooking meals just for herself, ne?" Chang Wook smiled affectionately at his caring mother and gave her a hug.

"My mom, you worked hard. Thank you very, very much."

Hugging her son just a bit tighter, she felt herself tearing up at the thought of all the things that her son had to endure. Beyond the army, there were months that he would barely be in contact knowing full well he was giving his all to another project often to the neglect of his own health by not having proper meals and eating ramyun after ramyun instead. For what its worth, she wanted to show her son her love and support in as simple as preparing food for him to make him feel that she was always there for him. Though he may love his job,  she knew it must have been difficult to always keep people at a distance due to the nature of the industry he chose to be in.

Working to stop the tears from falling, she decided to take the conversation into a lighter tone by slyly remarking, "…if only my son can finally give me a daughter in law to help with the household and keep me company around the house…" At that statement, Ji Chang Wook briefly stiffened. "Didn't you have that girl you always went out with? What was her name…lemme think..I think it started with a J? J-J-"

"Ah, eomma! Now, now! I wouldn't want the food that you worked so hard on to get cold," Chang Wook hurriedly worked to change the topic at hand. He put on an exaggerated act of enthusiastically sitting down and putting on a face of awe at the feast in front of him.

She shook her head at her son and settled the topic to be brought up again for another day and sat down at the table.

In front of them was truly a feast that bring about awe. On the table laid home staples sides that ranged from a fluffy rolled egg to all kinds of seasoned vegetables (bean sprouts, spinach, radish, perilla leaves, kimchi) that were sure to renew one's health, cucumber pancake, hearty slices of bossam and a murky, meat filled soup at the center.

"Sundaeguk! Sundaeguk! Hwa~ I missed that the most!" Chang Wook beamed and already had a spoon at the ready to dig in. ------------------------------ Ji Chang Wook sighed contentedly while rubbing his stomach. Settled comfortably on the couch with the remote on one hand and the other on his stomach, the handsome actor looked every bit of a newly released and unemployed army man lazying around in mismatched house clothes  that he was rather than what one would expect from someone who is a fashion icon, a sponsor and face of products ranging from luxury brands to face masks that millions of people go crazy over.

"Ah, I'm so full…," Ji Chang absent mindedly murmured as his concentration was on the soccer game that was airing on TV.

After his early lunch with his mother and the clean up afterwards, she had insisted on him resting whilst she went out for errands though he had suggested accompanying her. Since then, a few hours have already gone by spent watching the replayed soccer tournaments and the usually active man was starting to feel restless.

Getting up from the couch to retrieve his phone in his room, he dialed his manager's phone to see if he was available to go for a motorcycle ride around the city later in the day along with some of their other friends.

The quiet beeps of the flash sounding from the camera could be occasionally heard cutting through the music sounding in the studio.

"Good! Ji hyun-sshi, just tilt your head to the right a little bit…neh, neh. And your hands…..good, good," the photographer took a photo as he crouched in the ground to take a photo of Nam Ji Hyun in a better angle. Taking a pause to review the photos taken on the computer screen, people from Ji Hyun's styling team took the opportunity to retouch her makeup and add further volume to her tousled hair with a hairspray and a comb in hand.

Nam Ji Hyun stood from her position on the floor for her stylist to better fix herself, the trail of her off white, chiffon dress fluttering behind her. Rearranging the relaxed waves of hair strategically on top of the flower crocheted V-neck lining of her dress, the actress exuded the perfect example of simple elegance and innocence as her outfit highlighted her youthfulness and delicate features. And yet when it was time to resume the photoshoot, the versatility of Nam Ji Hyun's gaze brought out by the photographer's directing showcased an allure that wouldn't be expected from a fledgling of a former child actress. Delivering looks ranging from one of coquettish curiosity to pained longing to hesitant desire with ease, young though she may be, it could not be refuted that she was still a seasoned professional with over 10 years of experience in the industry with the control she had over her expressions.

The photographer murmured in approval as he prompted Ji Hyun to make slight changes on her poses. "Just one more...And...we're done! Good work everyone! Good work, Jihyun-sshi!"

Jihyun bowed her head humbly to everyone around her saying, "Thank you everyone! You've worked hard. Thank you," before she approached the photographer to personally thank him.

"Thank you for your care and guidance, photographer-nim."

"Thank you too, Jihyu-sshi. The photoshoot today will be for sure be a success with the quality of shots you've allowed me to take. You are truly amazing. It's going to come out great."

"Ey, photographer-nim. Anieyo. I just tried my best. Thank you for acknowledging my effort," Jihyun bashfully and humbly responded to the photographer's compliments.

"It has been an honor to work with you, I hope I can take more of your pictures in the future and oh! Good luck on your movie," the photographer shook her hands and left to further review the shots that he took.

Meanwhile, Jihyun went to go change out of the sponsored dress for the photoshoot and go back home as her schedule was done for the day.

Rambunctious laughter filled the café as Ji Chang Wook and his friends entered the place with their helmets in hand. The barista standing at the wooden counter illuminated by the metal light fixture and the letters spelling out PEACE overhang against the wall, greeted the crowd with familiarity and set out to do their usual drink orders.

They collectively passed by to head to the stairs where there was a private seating area in the upper level for the owner and his friends to hang out as they wish. The retro coffee shop by day and bar by night, Carnaby St., was the regular hangout for the handsome actor, especially on days when he went out to for a ride on his motorcycle or vespa. The vibe of the shop was stylish, bright and yet approachable with its eclectically designed British memorabilia that makes one feel like they're at the heart of London.

Everyone was settled on to the wooden table placed amidst the string lights and hanging vines upstairs as the owner of Carnaby St. brought them their drinks. With the owner joining in, they updated each other on the going-ons of their life that had been busy lately and prevented them from getting together sooner. Their conversations were boisterous and filled with teasing and jokes especially to the expense of Ji Chang Wook as his release from the army was one of the main topics to talk about. A lot of his friends had already enlisted long before he did and knew from experience the difficulty of adjusting back into society once again and wanted to ease their friend back to the way of things. It made Ji Chang Wook really appreciate his friends as he saw their efforts and love the bond they all had despite being in different working industries.

Bringing himself out of his thoughts, he tuned into the conversation to hear about Gil Bok who worked as a camera director talking about the new movie he had been busy with to Chi Gu.

"Are you guys going? I'm sure the higher-ups expect you guys to come to the VIP Premiere since Chang Wook-ah is back and he's worked with the actors of the film before."

Chang Wook looked at Chi-Gu in inquiry.

"It's still a couple of months away so that's probably why the company hasn't confirmed with us about the scheduling quite yet," his manager responded.

"Ah okay," Ji Chang Wook said to Chi-Gu and then turned to his other side. "Hwa~ Gil Bok-hyung, this is rare for you to suddenly bring up work. That's strange."

"Yeah it is not typical of me but you guys have to watch it when it comes out! This old man's heart has been moved," Gil Bok jokingly patted his chest with a mockingly teary eyed expression, his mouth skewed in a comical manner.

The actor and his manager laughingly jeered at Gil Bok's antics.

"Oh, are you guys talking about Jihyun-ah's new movie?" Choi Tae Joon interjected into their conversation. "She was telling me about it when I happen to meet her in a café with Khun (his cat)."

"That's right. Yah~…Nam Ji Hyun-sshi," the camera director shook his head. "It's amazing. She is completely different in this one," thinking of how the young actress's role in her new film was a complete and utter departure from her roles in the past. "The set would get goosebumps in some of her scenes."

"Jihyun-ah?" Ji Chang Wook tilted his head in thought.  "I didn’t think she'd be doing another project yet. We lost contact after my first year in the army but I remember she told me she was taking a break to finish school."

Tae Joon shrugged. "I didn’t get a chance to ask her but we're probably going to see each other again in that cat café since she's a regular there so I could ask for updates."

"Oh! Jo Jae Yoon-Hyung is also part of the production by the way," Gil Bok mentioned.

"It's the same movie that you were working on? I know he mentioned he was busy with a movie that's coming out soon. I didn't know it would be the one you were also in," Tae Joon said.

"Yeah, he's not playing a bad guy this time," Gil Bok laughed. "Did you know his wife is pregnant again?

"Wow, again? Incredible," Chi Gu remarked. "I don't know how he does it..."

"Hyung! Have you seen the game last night?" Kangwoo, who had been busy talking with the Carnaby owner, Jin Su, excitedly brought up the soccer game that aired to Gil Bok and the others.

And just like that, the group got swept up by talk of their favorite sport, they fervently discussed the moves of the players and moved on from discussing work matters.

While Ji Chang Wook joined in on his friends' conversation, he couldn't help wonder at the back of his head how his lovable costar was doing and be especially curious as to what she was working on to have made his hyung react in such a way.

[chekatpromotions-blog]

An Interview with an Artist-Dawn Boyer, Ph.D. by Candace M.

1. What is your name?

Dawn D.  Boyer, Ph.D.

2. Are you married?  If so, how long have you been married?

Yes, I am married to a wonderful man, James (Jim) M. Stallings.  We met April 2nd, 2005, and have just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this last January 6th, 2017.  

3. Do you have children and if so how many?

 I have one biological daughter and two step-daughters, and one fur-baby cat.

4. When did you first become interested in drawing?

 When I was five years old, I started scribbling with a pencil and piece of paper (my mom put that sketch in my baby book). Since then I have not stopped drawing, creating, painting, sketching, sewing, weaving, constructing all forms and types of creative fine art.

5. How did your first beginning drawing propel you to continue with your artwork?

 I am a ‘Type A’ workaholic (my husband calls me “Robot”).  I cannot be still, so my hands must be continuously engaged in something; whether I am drawing, tearing and folding paper for my mixed media paper artwork baskets, or 3-D constructions, crocheting Afghans for family, or sketching and then inking pen-and-ink drawings of historic buildings and old barns, I cannot sit still, so my hands must be continuously engaged in something. I am also a writer and have been journaling my life for 48 years.  

6. What type of training have you had in the art field?

 I have a formal degree – a Bachelor of Fine Art in Graphic Design and Illustrative Art from Radford University in Radford, VA (1985).  I can’t say I learned much about the ‘fine art’ process from this degree; most of the creative art I do now is self-taught.

7. What was the best part of your art education?

 I liked the idea of creating graphic design, but my heart and passion were more into creative fine arts.  At the time I received my degree, the art community was still using ‘press-on lettering,’ and I missed the computer-generated design training I wished I could have achieved today (PhotoShop, etc.).  I did appreciate the multiple drawing classes I had in the program.  I thoroughly disliked the art history classes where we were required to memorize artwork, artist’s, period styles, and dates.

8. Have you attended school for any other types of training and if so, what was it for?

I have not.  I do watch YouTube videos and just started the ‘how-to’ series on Lynda.com (free subscription with a professional paid level on LinkedIn) on how to use the Adobe Creative Cloud (PhotoShop, InDesign, Illustrator) and hope to at least get through that series in the next year.

9. What type of art design most interests you?

I am more interested in taking art types and methodologies (versus design styles) and trying to create and discover more creative ways of using those.  For instance, there are paper crafting methods of Origami, Bubble-Gum Wrapper chain making, football folding, weaving, and quilling, where I use all these methods to create three-dimensional artwork such as weaving the paper chains to create baskets, or using the woven paper strips and ‘footballs’ (those triangular pieces of paper one folded in high school to pass notes or ‘play football’ in the cafeteria when one was bored).  Using these folded paper forms, I create Owls, Peacocks, lizards, wolves, and buffalos in art pieces that build up from the two-dimensional paper to a 3-D form that imitates the real-life form of the creature I am illustrating.

 ++++++++

Dawn, I would love to see your work that you do sometime. This just seems really interesting.

https://www.behance.net/DawnBoyer

https://www.pinterest.com/dawnboyer/dawns-art-projects/

https://www.facebook.com/pg/DawnBoyerArtist/photos/

See embedded pictures at the end of this document for more of the 3-d Type of art pieces

++++++++

10. What have been your most proud moments in your art achievements?

I am proud of the series of books I have drawn and published.  I self-publish, and have branded myself as the originator and illustrator of the Fairy Houses and Fairy Doors (series).  I just published my 134th book last week – the newest topic for this coloring book was Fantastic Flora and Fauna – with illustrations of animals in settings full of flowers and/or woodland scenes.

11. Tell me something about your unique style of art that is different from other artists?

I don’t like sticking with one type of artwork. I get bored relatively quickly then move on to another type of artwork, as the mood hits me. What is funny – while I have illustrated over 40 coloring books – I ‘suck’ at coloring myself.  My artistic forte is drawing pen-and-ink (black line) illustrations.  

My favorite topic to draw on is historic architecture from the restored district of Colonial Williamsburg, in Williamsburg, VA. My parents started taking the family to visit there 54 years ago, and I have been visiting no less than once a year since.  What I recently figured out is that all those pen-and-ink illustrations of the architecture I have been creating for years could make a fantastic coloring book for adults, so created one book of my drawings. I am now working on several other books of gray scale coloring books of the same topic.  My second favorite drawing topic is old barns in a state of decay or collapsing old homes or grist mills.  Those seem to have an untold story that creates character into the drawings I create.  

 Dawn, I have to agree with you about old places. They do have a story to tell, and many books have been written that involve these old buildings.

I spent about two years figuring out how to weave the bubble-gum chain wrappers into woven baskets.  First I had to figure out how to create the chains from something other than gum wrappers (to keep my teeth cavity free), so I discovered magazine pages make awesome and pretty durable folding pieces.

I have sewn over 40 quilts in my lifetime and used to sew all my own clothing before my daughter was born.  I have probably crocheted over 100 afghans – I visit the thrift shops regularly for inexpensive yarn packages, sort the colors into groups, then crochet simple squares with single- and double-crochet stitch.

I have painted murals on walls and painted eggs (blown-out) with nail polish to create beautiful Christmas tree ornaments. I love upcycling furniture, also.  I will take a solid wood piece of thrift store or a curb-side rescue and strip the finish, then re-stain it in patterns, swirls, or creative ways (not paint, wood stain only), to create some amazing pieces.  Sometimes I will use stain to ‘paint’ a picture – I painted to two wolves howling at the moon on top of the inexpensive wine & glass stand I purchased for $10.  

12.  Can you relate something humorous to your adventures in the art world? Please share that with us.

When I first started my formal art degree at Virginia Commonwealth University in the Art Foundation program, they had ‘life study drawing classes’ which, as a naïve 18-year old, I had no idea what that meant. I walked into class first day, put up my easel, got my paper ready, charcoal stick out, then looked around the corner of the easel to see a naked man posing in the middle of the room.  In my astonishment, I immediately blurted out, “Is he NAKED?  Talk about embarrassing!

13. What is the something you would like to see changed in the art world?

I would like to see art galleries stop charging the artists so MUCH to display and sell the artist’s work.  While I perfectly understand that the gallery has to make a profit and has overhead expenses, also, instituting a 45-55% commission on the art work means the artist has to jack up their price by 100% or more to get what they originally want to make as revenue on the art piece. This makes it expensive for the common man to find quality art work they can afford in galleries.  

I do love that social media and the Internet has changed the game for selling artwork – I constantly build a presence for each of my illustrations in my coloring books by posting Works in Progress (WIP) and get my fans excited and ramped up to purchase the book when it is released.  I see other coloring book artists doing the same.  

14. I am sure you have had many challenges in your life, what has been your greatest challenge and how did you get through it?

 I have several challenges I have had to overcome and I am working on overcoming:

I have always wanted a dedicated art studio with lots of space to work on large pieces of art work and several projects at once.  I established one in the den of my last house, then we promptly put it up for sale, and I had to pack everything. When we moved to the current house, I spent thousands on getting the garage fixed up for an official art studio, then we found out we had to sell this house and move again, so essentially, my ‘art studio’ became a small light table bumped up against the hearth in my living room (about six square fee).  I am now back to juggling my drawing surfaces on my lap while sitting on the sofa and finding a space at a small table.  When I permanently move in with my mom, I will be working on creating a full-scale art studio in her sun-room.

15. Where do you see your art taking you in the future?

I cannot wait to reach what my husband and I call, Phase III, which is (after kids grow up and get out on their own) where he and I will start being more creative with art projects, home building (retirement house and 40 acres), and to be able to afford more art tools (like a plasma cutting CNC machine that cuts metals, or a wood routing machine one can program designs into so as to cut huge wooden planks).  

16. How many books do you have published?  How many adult coloring books?

 I have published at least 134 books in total, 114 are on Amazon now, and of those at least 40 ‘Big Kids Coloring Books’ (series name).  Interested readers who want to see the listing of most of my published books on Amazon can find the listing at my author’s page: https://www.amazon.com/author/dawnboyer

17. What is a good quote that you find has helped you through many situations in your life?

 My father had two quips I have always sworn by: 

He would ask my sister and I: “What’s the most important thing?”

And we would always answer: “Family.”

Then he would ask us: “Why?”

And we would answer: “Because they will never let you down.”

When I got stressed about something – money, boyfriends, work, etc. …

Dad would ask: “Well, what’s the worst that could happen about this issue?” I would answer: (with all the worst case scenarios)

Then he would ask: “Can you die from it?��� I would answer; “Of course not!”

Then he would respond, “Then it’s not a problem.”

18. I see that you have interviewed other artists.  Is this your first time being interviewed?

This is my second time being interviewed as an artist.  It’s quite flattering to think that someone ‘out there’ is interested in my way of thinking or art style or artwork. I am usually ferociously private about the methods and manners in which I create my artwork – I don’t like sharing anything with others until it’s finished.  Over the last four years, I have learned to adapt to being ‘social’ about my artwork, and overcome someone physically looking over my shoulder (husband) while I work, but also to share works-in-progress (WIP) as I draw, and have even started asking my fans what they would like to see in my illustrations (e.g., cats, dragons, hippos, tarsier monkeys).  I am adding my coloring street team’s cats in my current illustrations as they share their photos of their fur-babies in poses I can use in my next coloring book.

19. What types of artists have you interviewed?

One artist was a ‘beach’ artist originally from Hawaii who focused on waves, and tropical motifs; another artist was a clay sculptress who created huge clay creatures for the garden and welded metal tools and everyday utensils with other found objects to create small, humorous pieces; and the third creates large, hauntingly beautiful pictures of women, using pan pastels as a medium.

20. Where was your most favorite place to interview an artist?

The interviews with these artists were conducted via email by sending them the interview questions, allowing them to be able to answer the questions at their own convenience in their own home or studio on their schedule.

21. Where can your books and PDFs be found?

My paperback books can be purchased from my author’s page listing:

https://www.amazon.com/author/dawnboyer

I also sell Fine Art Prints of some of my pen and ink illustrations at Fine Art America: http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/dawn-boyer.html

I sell page packs of my coloring books on Etsy: www.etsy.com/shop/DawnDBoyer

22. Do you have any advice that you would give an aspiring artist just starting out in the adult coloring world?

For gosh sakes – the best advice I can provide is to BRAND yourself and do NOT ignore marketing, branding, and advertising methods – which most artists totally suck at. 

Use social media to post your works in progress to build interest – and not just one platform. If you don't have accounts yet for the following: Facebook and Instagram, Pinterest and Twitter, Behance and Fine Art America, LinkedIn for networking with other artists and PayPal to accept payments; create them, figure them out, and use them.  ASK others how they use them, and don’t be an idiot and use them ONLY for advertising. You must create a ‘relationship’ with your fans and followers. Provide interesting tidbits to your posts and followers versus constantly blasting them with ‘buy my art’ ads.

23. If you could go anywhere and color, where would that be?

It’s more a mindset ‘place’ I want to visit versus a physical place.  My absolute favorite place to be is sitting at a comfortable table with loads of arm and elbow space, with all my necessary media within arms-reach, and be ‘in the mood’ to do my artwork.  A NetFlix movie or series would be playing on a TV screen in front of me, where I can look up occasionally to see what is happening on the screen. If my husband is in the room, also, that’s a bonus (he would likely be working on his computer on homework or website building).  

3-D Owl, Lizard, Peacock, and Seahorse all created from recycled magazine pages and using paper-folding techniques.

Folded paper sculpture in the works

My current ‘art studio’ created from an old sewing machine table with a LED light plugged into space with a clear Plexiglass cover to use as a light table and drawing table.

My $10 wine rack, with the two wolves barking at the moon.

[espytalks]

some ideas about carter and his family (some details may change as i learn more about things, and how to go about them)

Carter is an only child, raised by a single mother

He would help his mom in the shop after school and on weekends. he enjoyed helping her, and he learned how to knit and crochet at a very early age.

She treated carter very well growing up. She did her best to be a good mother, and he turned out alright.

I don’t have definite names for his parents yet, but their last name is tonkins. (it’s based on the name of an actual cat breed, the tonkinese. i chose it mainly because it sounded like a good last name. feel free to look it up though. they’re some nice cats.)

the placeholder names are margaret and kevin.

margaret and kevin met when they were young adults. they were very attracted to each other, and rushed into a relationship. 

Kevin had and still has anger issues. he would get mad and argue when things didn’t go his way, and arguments with margaret would sometimes get physical.

Margaret loved Kevin, and believed she could “fix him” and his anger problems. she dealt with the abuse, because aside from that she thought he was a good person. That if she loved him enough, he could change.

Within a year of them being married, they had a child. things got stressful for them both after that.

Kevin had a hard time getting and keeping jobs. they were able to manage with what he could get, and the shop, but only barely. 

The breaking point in thier relationship came a few years into thier marrage. the anger issues kept getting worse. He would hit her more often than not.

she kept at it until one day carter got hurt. not very severely, but enough to make him cry. (he was very young. i’d say around 4)

She had enough. she took carter and left kevin. it took some effort, a lot of pain and tears and heartbreak, and encouragement from her friends, but eventually she broke off all ties with him, and divorced him. She may have gotten a restraining order at some point, but i’m debating that.

She never told carter what happened. he asked, but she told him she’d tell him when he’s older. She passed away without telling him, when carter was around 20 years old. 

he had stopped asking at some point, because he could see the topic bothered her.

Margaret died of a genetic disease that runs in her side of the family. ( i want to keep this part very vague, if possible.) Carter knows it’s genetic, and is scared that he has it, too. 

He eventually tells becky about this, because it’s hindering him getting too into thier relationship. it takes a lot of convincing to get him to admit this. 

after this, they get tests done, and the results come back negative. he’ll live.

also in their relationship, the topic of carter’s dad gets brought up. Becky knew margaret very well, because she spent a lot of time over at carter’s house when they were kids, but she never knew or asked what happened to carter’s dad.

she brings up the idea of finding his dad. carter is curious, and after some convincing, he hires a private investigator to find his dad.

I’m not too sure yet about the rest of this, but Kevin is alive. the rest is some thoughts, and could change drastically as i figure it out.

Kevin lives in  a small, cheap apartment. he has a sitty job, but a somewhat stable one, and makes enough to live, plus enough to support his drinking habits. (him being an alcoholic may change)

he may have tried at some point to get close to his kid when they first separated. this may have been why margaret got a restraining order. I don’t know how that works though, so i may have to look up info on that to see if that would mean carter wouldn’t be able to meet his dad in the future. (the weird things ya google for reference, amirite?)

carter doesn’t go alone to meet him. he brings becky.

i have vague ideas of how the conversation might go. my most clear idea is the climax of the visit, where carter blows up at him, telling kevin off for what he did to the two of them. He even goes as far as calling him an asshole, which shocks becky completely, because carter doesn’t curse. (he stutters and hesitates at this, too. it’s not an easy choice to make, but he feels it justified at the time. he regrets this for several years, despite becky telling him she’d say the same.)

Everything goes quiet at that point. Kevin looks furious, Becky is shocked, and carter had started crying halfway through his rant, and is trying to look mad but he’s crying too hard to look intimidating.

I want there to be some sort of redemption for kevin at this point, but that may change. He lets out a breath, leans back, and admits his faults. like, he sounds genuinely sorry for what he did, and he really did love margaret. He didn’t even know she was dead. 

(carter brought the blanket, which was made after she died. it’s a story that doesn’t fit with what i’m talking about right now, and requires some explanation first. carter brings this up in his rant though.)

after kevin tells his side of the story, and asks for forgiveness, carter could choose to trust him, or becky could convince him that kevin could be lying to get sympathy from him, and they should just leave.

abuse could be a sore spot for becky, and after finding out how margaret was treated, she’d be mad at kevin, and wouldn’t want to forgive him. 

if they leave him, he’s out of the story for good. it doesn’t get brought up, and carter doesn’t feel good about the whole thing. becky tries to help justify this, but carter feels guilty, and betrayed by his father. He wouldn’t want to hate kevin, despite what he did.

If carter chooses to forgive him, Carter agrees to help Kevin with his anger issues, and substance abuse, and gets him the help he needed decades ago. 

Kevin would be an actually good person, underneath his tough exterior. it’s what margaret fell in love with, but she didn’t know how to actually bring that out.

it’d be a very tough journey, and there’d be many setbacks, but after years of hard work, Carter would finally have a good relationship with his dad, and becky would learn to forgive him, too. 

becky trusts carter, and she would stay with him despite this choice, but it does affect their relationship at first. she’d mainly be mad at kevin, though.

maybe i’m just a sucker for happy endings, and i believe in people being good more than what is realistic, but i like the idea of carter befriending his dad. Everyone has a reason for acting out, and being who they are. Not everything is black and white. And the idea of someone, with the help of people who care about them, becoming a better person, sounds like a very nice idea to me.

[susantregre]

What To Do With Older Kids During Holiday Break

What to do with older kids during holiday break?  It is a question that many families are asking today…or will be asking in the next few weeks!

Here is some practical advice for what to do with older kids during holiday break from a mom of three older kids who has struggled with the concept of quality time spent with teens!

I am now the mom of 3 teenage boys.

It happened suddenly last week when my youngest turned 13.

This last year, I started working on a project that put into words, steps and systemized some of the things I have learned {the hard way} of being a mom.  Watch for that series to get started here on Kids Activities starting January 1…

And one of the things that kept coming up was quality time with teens.

In fact, one of the moms that went through the program actually wrote me and said, “I just don’t know WHAT to do with them!”

Hey, I get it.  In fact, I get it more than you can imagine!  I have spent the last decade devoted to kids activities and crafts…the type of thing you see here on the site.

Give me a 2 year old and I have 100s of ideas of ways to play!

Need ideas to keep that science-loving 5 year old busy for a few hours?

If you have run out of homemade slime recipes...I literally wrote a book for you (affiliate).

But…when it comes to a 13 y/o that rolls his eyes when a craft is suggested or a 17 y/o who seems too busy to spend time with the family, things get a little more challenging.

Activities for Older Kids Inspired by Vacationing with Teens

One of my solutions to this challenge of finding quality time activities for older kids is to draw on any experience you might have from the family vacation. I found over the years, that when the family was AWAY from home, together, with bad internet connection, it was easier.

In fact, as my boys got older, traveling got so much easier!

They started wanting to do the things I liked to do.

No more 13 hour Candyland marathons {shoot me now}!

They could participate in things that I loved to do:

rock climbing

skiing

biking

hiking

exploring more than a 100 yard trail

scuba diving

swimming

card games like poker and Rook

board games like Settlers of Catan

trying new food at a restaurant (and behaving during the WHOLE meal)

going to a movie I actually might choose

concerts

plays

escape rooms

painting classes

cooking lessons

kitchen tours or any type of tour

and so many other things that younger kids are just too young for participation…

Have you played tourist with your kids in your own town?

We live in the Dallas-Fort Worth area which has a million things to do with kids and we haven’t taken advantage of it!  All the things I have mentioned are things we have done while away.  This break, I am challenging myself to find some of those special places to take the teens that we would be delighted to visit if we found them while vacationing elsewhere!

Older Kids Still Yearn to Play

No matter how much eye-rolling and choruses of “oh mom!” I might hear from my teenagers, I try to stay confident that under all that teen angst lies the heart of a child.

Push through the resistance. <–I promise you it will be worth it.

At first, you might need to be a little sneaky.  But I truly believe that your child was given to YOU for a reason because if anyone can outsmart him, it is you.

To prove my point, I thought back to the last time one of my boys was laughing out of control.  You know the type of laugh that shakes their entire body and is completely uncontrollable.  What prompted that laugh?  It is usually rooted in simple play.  Like when the dog {our dear Panda} was intentionally “stuck” under the bed and playfully attacking anyone trying to rescue her.  Or trash-talking after a board game win.  Or when a side of the gingerbread house he had constructed just wouldn’t stay and a pile of gingerbread rubble erupted.  Or when we got lost on a trailride and ended up going in circles despite my absolute confidence we were going in the right direction.  Or when they were trying to explain Fortnite to grandma.

We all need play in our lives.

As kids our world is shaped by play.

As teenagers, play helps make sense of the world and put it in perspective.

As adults, it helps decrease stress and connect us with others.

When you are using the excuse that your teen is too grumpy or disconnected to play, you are depriving them of the very thing that could get them out of their funk.

So it is OK to push a little.  Set some expectations.  Gently demand some participation.

Ideas for Activities for Teens at Home

Traditional play activities should not be overlooked even though kids are older.  There is a sensory experience that happens when you get your hands dirty, jump around or dive into a pool that helps increase endorphins and a sense of well-being.

Think of an older version of any activity that your kid loved when they were younger.

If they loved playing with playdough, then consider suggesting baking bread together or making a batch of sugar cookies that would require rolling out of dough and decorating.

If they loved playing with LEGO bricks, then think of a building/strategy activity like one of the advanced LEGO model sets, putting a puzzle together, or playing a strategy game like Chess.  Make a gingerbread house or city!

If they loved going to the park, then find something physical you can do together outside.  Biking, hiking, snowman-making, simply taking a walk with the dog, going to the community indoor pool, finding a good trampoline park if you don’t have one in the backyard, or creating a obstacle course inside/outside and timing each other’s journey through it.

If they loved kids crafts, this one is simple.  There are so many more options for adult crafts that can work amazingly.  Knitting, crocheting, needle-point, wood-working, wreath-making, sewing, create homemade ornaments for your Christmas tree, make gifts to give this season, a trip together to a local craft supply store can open the doors to so many adventures together…

If they loved making art, again, this one is simple.  Being an artist is a life-long journey.  Experiencing different mediums, trying new techniques and honing skills is something that takes a lifetime to master and there is no reason they shouldn’t keep having that fun as a teen.  If they have always loved to draw, but never tried sculpting, that is something that you could try.  Or if they love painting, but have never tried it on ceramics, that would be an easy activity that would require very little convincing!

If they love playing video games, then put that affinity for strategy and competition to work at your kitchen table in the form of card and board games.  It is the same thing.  Don’t be intimidated by the simplicity of the game when the majority of the activity is strategy!  There is a reason that poker rooms in Las Vegas are filled with 20-30 year olds who were gamers.  They desire community and competition which both video games and card/board games can provide IRL.

How to Get Started Planning Activities for Older Kids

Create a plan of action – get out the calendar and figure out what days are best to do things outside the house and which days are best to stay at home.  For us, we are very adverse to crowds!  So, finding when less people will be visiting our desired destination would be the first thought.

One thing a day – don’t overwhelm yourself with planning or your teen with forced family time!  Start slow.  Adding just one thing each day that you will do together is plenty and can make sure they do have the required 13 hours of texting time they need.

Get teens involved in planning – remember when they were little and you gave them directed choices?  You know…do you want this apple or this carrot stick?  That is the same concept here.  You already have an outline of what the next few days will look like and this can help guide things in a direction that they are excited about (OK, tolerant of).  Let’s say that Monday you are planning something outside of the house.  You could offer three choices:  the paining class, the escape room or the science museum trip?

Take them shopping for supplies – I don’t care what age kids are, this is a good strategy.  The problem with our adult brains is that we OVER-strategize crafts and art projects with the end result in mind.  Kids and teens aren’t like that and we should encourage it.  They would do it so differently than we directed if they had the chance.  Give them that option.  Going to the craft store with an open mind and a suggested project (and budget) with their input will have you bringing home a completely different set of supplies for a completely different project that they are way more excited about.

Share the schedule from day one – don’t spring “forced” family time on them.  It will make them feel held hostage and give them a bad case of FOMO with their friends and online activities.  Setting start and end times gives them a sense of control over their schedule and is respectful of the fact that they do have things they want to do.  If there is a conflict of time, think about being flexible about changing.

Don’t give up after the first day – stick to your plan through the entire holiday.  It is ok to make changes, be flexible and adjust expectations!  Teens are a lot like two year olds…they really do thrive on schedules and family contact, but they have a really hard time seeing it or expressing it.  When you are in a routine that they start to understand, they can relax and begin to adapt to it.  If something goes poorly, stopping it short of the expected time and giving a teen a hug and “releasing” them is fine, but start over the next day.

Set realistic expectations – I know you see other family’s post on FB about how they spent the entire day in a beautiful episode of dancing through daisies followed by organic, vegan picnics and dreamcatcher creations.  There is no family on earth that actually spent their day in that manner (especially if there is gorgeous photos or videos involved).  Behind the camera were tears, a lot of messed up white clothing and 1/2 eaten sprout-infested sandwiches.  You know your family.  You know your kids.  Expect that not everything will go as planned.  Embrace that this is more about spending time WITH them and not getting whatever planned activity completed.

Above all, have fun.  You need the break too.  You need the play.  You need the connection with your kids.  And that only happens if you aren’t playing drill sergeant,  fun police or party hostess.  Be a participant in the activity!  Laugh alongside your kids.  Make mistakes.  Make it so it is easy for them to laugh at you.

Having More Fun as a Family

Life gets busy.  And if you have involved teens, that means it is a revolving door of sports, enrichment activities and time with friends.  A teen’s home base is still HOME.  They still get their confidence, resilience and perspective from their family experience.

If that family experience is only filled with coming/going, directions, corrections and schedules, they are going to miss out on gaining the coping skills it really takes to be an adult in the real world.

If that family experience is sprinkled with inside jokes, playful teasing and quality time together, they are going to gain a perspective that allows them not to take things so seriously.

The truth is, this is just something we need to do.  It won’t look perfect.  It won’t go as planned.  But the investment we make into our kids is the most important thing in life right now…and they need to have a little more fun!

What is your favorite thing to do with older kids?  Please tell me in the comments!

The post What To Do With Older Kids During Holiday Break appeared first on Kids Activities Blog.

from Kids Activities Blog http://bit.ly/2SduLRV

[iwritesexyromance-blog]

Recap-Julia and Dean lose their baby in a tragic accident.  Dean is riddled with guilt, knowing he could have prevented this tragedy.  When Julia and Dean decide not to tell their parents or family about the loss of their baby, Julia has to face the consequences that decision brings!  Enjoy!

The memories of the car accident continued to haunt Julia every time she closed her eyes. She could remember such seemingly insignificant details from the event with perfect clarity. The truck’s emblem and license plate, the change to the other driver’s eyes as he became aware of the impending crash. Julia could still hear her own voice screaming for Dean as the truck suddenly collided with her door.

Julia was released into Dean’s care on Thanksgiving morning and was dreading returning to an apartment full of baby items that had been intended for their daughter. One of the hardest things Julia would have to deal with was the crocheted baby blanket with their daughter’s full name on it.

Neither said much on their way home from the hospital. It had been like that a lot over the past several days. Both of them were continually wrapped up in their own thoughts and were overwhelmed by recent events.

As they walked in the apartment, Julia could tell Dean had been hard at work. Everything was clean and the entire apartment had been picked up. It looked far better than it had the last time she’d been there. The wreck they had left it in prior to heading for home was nowhere to be seen now. As Julia attempted to reacquaint herself to life in the apartment, Dean began cooking something for their Thanksgiving meal.

As Julia walked around the apartment she noticed a distinct absence of baby items. All of Daisy’s stuff was gone! “Where is her stuff?” Julia’s voice was full of hostility.

“Jules, I already returned most of it. I didn’t want you coming home and feeling like you had to take care of all of that. We already have enough to get through these next few days.”

This was true in fact. A small graveside service was planned for the next day where Julia and Dean would lay their baby girl to rest. Julia still had not prepared herself for that, and the absence of all her things only added to her feeling of loss. Right then, it became too real what they had lost.

“You should have asked me. What about the stuff I made? Like her blankets and pictures I painted for her nursery.”

“Jules, I have all that stuff boxed up. I just couldn’t look at it anymore, but you are welcomed to get it out if you need to.” Dean seemed oddly cold and distant to her as he mechanically talked about their daughter’s belongings. Julia knew Dean was bottling up his emotions, which was something she was not used to seeing. This was his loss too after all.

“Dean, I’m sorry. I know you haven’t had a chance to grieve or cry or anything! It is your loss just as much as mine.” She said tenderly. He had been so good to her in the hospital and had barely left her side for more than a few hours at a time. He had been the rock she had needed then. The trouble was that Dean wasn’t allowing himself to grieve as he should. Watching him work to push his emotions down, Julia had waited for him to start screaming or break down into a sobbing mess.

Julia tried to change the subject in order to break some of the tension in the room. “What is that smell? Is that a turkey?

“No turkey this year. It is just a chicken that I put in the crock pot earlier. Listen, I need to go lay down for a while.” Dean’s reply was anything but warm, and the sound of his bedroom door shutting behind him was almost too much for Julia to bear.   She could handle him mad, but shutting down on her like this was too much.

“Dean, please don’t be upset with me!” Julia said as she approached his door. “We will have more children one day. I know that this pain will never be erased, but it is a comfort to know that we can try again in the future.”

Dean cracked his door a bit and looked her in the eye before responding, “Jules, I can’t even think about that right now. Nothing can ever erase this pain.”   He had done nothing except take care of her for the past two days; it was reasonable to ask for time on his own. “You are home safe and that was what I was waiting for. I am sorry if that sounds too selfish, but I need to be alone. I will be up in time to finish dinner.” Julia knew Dean could never imagine going through this loss again.

Julia stood there in that moment and felt completely alone in the world for the first time in her life. She went over to the window where just two days before she had been yelling out to Dean to stop being such a dutiful and expecting father.

The mixed emotions she had felt then over sharing this news with her parents seemed so long ago. Dean and Julia were the happy couple expecting their first child, and she had known everyone would have shared in their excitement, especially their mothers along with Dinah and Stacy. She knew her dad would have come around eventually, even if he put on a tough guy exterior to start. She had spent so much time imagining the joy Madison would feel at being a Grandma. It was the one thing both Madison and Barbara dreamt about from the day they caught Julia and Dean playing wedding chapel in the Holmes’ backyard gazebo.

She went into her room, the room her and Daisy were to share until their wedding day. When Julia saw how neat and tidy the room now was, her whole body started to shake. Everything was gone! One look in her drawers made her heart ache even more. She wanted to find some clean clothes to change into. All she found were her pre-pregnancy clothes and didn’t have the heart to see if they fit. It was just the day of the accident that she complained to Dean, “I can’t wait to get back into my normal clothes.”

At this point, she would give anything to put those ugly maternity clothes on again. She didn’t think her pre-pregnancy clothes would fit anyway. She still looked at least 5 months pregnant. Wanting to go see her parents would have to wait until her body readjusted to no longer carrying a child. How could she justify her weight gain?

She really needed her mom’s love right now, but wasn’t willing to begin the battle for control over her life that her father would try for. Surely, she couldn’t rationalize her weight gain or her long absence from home.

As she thumbed through her drawers for something comfortable, she found the blanket that she had crocheted for Daisy. She had just picked it up the day before the accident from the embroidery shop just around the corner. Looking down at the name:, Daisy Madison, made her cry. The last time she had seen it, it was draped over the bassinet Dean had just brought home from the consignment shop. That was gone, along with all their dreams for Daisy. Julia curled up in her bed with that blanket and held it tightly as she began to weep. Once she began to cry, the tears just kept coming. How could something so important be gone so quickly? How could she miss someone she had never known?

  Julia could hear her phone buzzing. That was one thing she wished Dean had not fixed for her. It was exhausting fielding calls the past few days. Her sister called her every hour trying to find out what was going on. Stacy was mad at her she knew, which almost never happened. Her last message said that their mother was so upset over the way Julia had treated her that she had canceled the family dinner today. Julia knew it was time to call her sister. At least if she called her, she could ask to talk to her mom with out having to call the house and run the risk of getting her dad on the line. Dean was dodging calls from his family as well. Julia’s dad had been giving Dean’s father an earful about all the events and how Dean banished them from coming to Greenville to check on their baby girl. She could just imagine what her dad was saying to Len to make him feel the need to continually call Dean. Len was a very laid back guy in every aspect of his life. He was a hands on dad, but he also didn’t push his son when he made up his mind about something, unlike Ken Hudson. Ken was a very supportive father, but he was the father version of a helicopter mom.

The phone rang one time on Stacy’s cell phone. “Julia?””

“Yes, Stacy, it is me. What’s going on? You have been blowing up my phone all day. I am trying to rest.” Of course she knew that was not the whole story, but it sounded better than, “I am avoiding your calls because I don’t want to tell you about my secret baby that just died.”

Not seeming to care about Julia’s physical state or her need for rest, Stacy started in, “Mom’s a wreck and what was the big deal about them coming up? So what, you and Dean are living together. You know Dad would get over it as long as you were honest with him. Mom hasn’t left her room or stopped crying since you talked to her the other day. What is going on with you?” Stacy had never treated her younger sister like this or taken this sort of tone with her. Julia could not take it, not one more second.

“Listen, Stacy, I’m sorry that everyone is mad at me. It was a bad accident and I am fine, but I didn’t want anyone to see me like that. I know I told Mom it wasn’t that bad, but it was a traumatic moment for us. I don’t want Mom and Dad smothering me right now. If they can’t respect my wishes, there is something wrong on their end, not mine.”

“But that is our family, and how we have been and how we always will be.”

Julia thought about what Stacy just said. While what she said was true, it was what she didn’t say that really encompassed how her family behaved: controlling, dominating, overbearing. Julia continued, “I am not going to be forced to justify my wishes, not one more second. Know that I love you, but I am getting off the phone now.” And she quickly hung up the phone.

Julia hated lying to anyone, especially herself. The truth was that she wanted her parents, her overly controlling and stifling parents, to be here right now to help her through all of this. That was simply not in the cards for Julia though since she didn’t’ want anyone telling her how to grieve. Tomorrow was going to hard enough without others telling her how to feel and how to behave.

  ***(This will be posted on my blog for three days-to receive the full manuscript up to day, please subscribe to my blog)  Email me to receive all past chapters!

The Last Breath-Chapter 5 Recap-Julia and Dean lose their baby in a tragic accident.  Dean is riddled with guilt, knowing he could have prevented this tragedy.  

[ruthlessbookfish]

Dirty Deeds by Lorelei James

January 9

My Review

Nathan is kind of a jerk. He has a hidden agenda with Tate. Tate is looking to expand her sexual horizons. After a bad break up Nathan thinks Tate is just the girl to teach him about the more romantic things in life. 

The secret agenda thing is waiting to blow up anything they are building. When the “ish” finally hits the fan, I was proud of Tate. Even if people disagree with how she handled herself, I was happy she didn’t stick around in doormat form. As evil as it sounds, I enjoyed reading how Nathan suffered for his actions. When he should have been happy with the results, he was devastated.

 As a mom of two, I related to Nathan’s sister Val the most. I love when the secondary characters in the story are just as well written as the main characters. Dirty Deeds was an interesting read about a man looking for romance and a woman looking for a great roll in the hay. 

You know what they say, be careful what you wish for. 

**** I voluntarily read an advanced readers copy of this book****

Title: Dirty Deeds

Author: Lorelei James

Genre: Sexy Contemporary Romance

Release Date: January 9, 2017

Blurb

Sometimes to play dirty, you gotta dig deep…

Landscaper Nathan LeBeau knows exactly how to use his big equipment to make the earth move. The Native American bad-boy has a reputation for getting filthy—in and out of the bedroom.

So when good-girl Tate Cross needs dirt work done, she hires the wickedly hot and surprisingly intuitive Nathan—secretly hoping she’ll get more than just her flowerbeds plowed.

Smart and sexy Tate is exactly the type of woman Nathan’s been looking for. But he wants more than another fling, so he digs in his heels to prove to Miss-I-Don’t-Need-Romance that taking things slow will lead them to something real.

But Tate isn’t interested in being romanced—even when Nathan’s sweet and charming ways are hard to resist. She’ll use every tool at her disposal to convince the former player to play with her and that getting down and dirty together is as real as it gets.

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Excerpt

“The closest I’ve ever been to nirvana was during an orgasm.”

Tate Cross rolled her eyes. Where did Val come up with this stuff?

Undaunted, her friend Val shifted her pregnant belly. She broke the chocolate bar in half, sucking at the apricot filling oozing over her finger. “But this”—a satisfied moan escaped—“is running a close second.”

“I wasn’t talking about nirvana the place; I was talking about Nirvana the band.” Tate pointed at her vintage “Heart-Shaped Box” T-shirt.

“Sorry. I never understood that whole grunge thing.”

Tate narrowed her eyes. “But if we were talking about sweaty, grungy cowboys in tight jeans, whinin’ ’bout lovin’ the wrong woman, drivin’ off in dusty pickups to the local bar for a shot of pain-easin’ whiskey, you’d pay attention.”

“Country music always gets me hot.”

“No wonder you’ve been pregnant four times.”

A sly, dreamy look drifted over Val’s face. “This one was conceived when Rich brought home that Stetson and we played—”

“Baby roulette? Apparently Richard’s six-gun was fully loaded that night.” With a grin, Tate gestured to Val’s stomach. “Seems that elusive slice of sexual heaven has a high price.”

“Being pregnant isn’t bad.” Val lovingly rubbed her hand over her swollen abdomen. “And a great sex life is not elusive.”

“Maybe not for you. You have the perfect man.” Tate tamped down on a rare surge of jealousy. She doubted Val’s perpetual rosy glow was entirely pregnancy related.

“So sue me.”

Tate cocked a brow. “Your lawyer husband laughs at your lawsuit jokes?”

“Of course.” Val tipped her glass of milk against Tate’s in a mock toast. “My fabulous sense of humor is the reason he married me.”

Tate choked back a giggle; milk nearly squirted out her nose. How mature. Here she was trying to have a sophisticated conversation about sex and not act like the goggle-eyed ingénue Val remembered her to be.

Val smiled. “I’ll admit our compatibility inside the bedroom played a key role. Love at first sight. It can happen.”

“Not to me.” Tate snatched the candy from Val’s plate. Swapping sexual quips was one thing, forking over the last piece of chocolate fell into an entirely different realm. Mmm. She savored the sinful flavor; it was indeed close to orgasmic. Not that she had anything to judge it by lately.

“This is the first lunch we’ve had without my kiddos since you’ve come back to South Dakota and we’re discussing my sex life? I should be spellbound by your wild sexual adventures in Mile High Stadium. Or cavorting naked on the beach in Cozumel.”

“Get real.” Tate snorted. “There’s nothing to discuss.”

A cascade of auburn ringlets brushed Val’s heart-shaped face when she shook her head. “Then I’m sorry for you.”

“Me too.” Tate traced the ruffled edge of the crocheted place mat. “I have no life at all, besides getting this house ready to sell. I haven’t done the deed for…” Mentally, she counted back and shuddered. “At my sexual peak. What a joke. I’m supposed to be worried about my partner pleasing me instead of whether I’ve got enough AA batteries.”

Silence. Tate slid Val a sideways glance. Talk about bold statements.

Without missing a beat, Val said, “No judgment, but I couldn’t live without that intimacy. Connecting with Rich on an elemental level whenever, wherever we want.” A satisfied sigh gusted forth. “Except now we’re forced to be discreet.”

Didn’t Val’s beach-ball condition belie that statement? Tactfully, Tate didn’t point it out. “I’m the epitome of discreet.”

“You and Chris Taylor weren’t very discreet, if I recall.”

“That’s the only time,” Tate grumbled. “No one believed ‘Miss Goody-Two-Shoes’ boinked the school bad boy that night at the lake anyway.”

“How did you pull it off?” Val mused. “I mean, didn’t you find it awkward to roll a cold, wet Speedo over a stiffy?”

“Hah! Didn’t it just figure my first experience with a penis outside Playgirl magazine and his dick was more like a clammy, fat worm than the ‘throbbing rod of manhood’ I’d expected.”

She drifted back to the summer of her senior year she’d spent with Aunt Beatrice. It’d been easy convincing studly Chris to change her virginal status. But the quick tryst on his Harley hadn’t included passion, and Chris had been clueless on demonstrating carnal secrets. That flagging sense of disappointment still dogged her. Would she ever discover the powerful sexual connection her friends raved about? When?

“Forget Chris and his unimpressive rod. Although it makes sense why he’s fat, bald and married to his motorcycle shop.” Val paused and offered, “I could set you up with someone, if you’re interested.”

“Who?” Tate snapped back to attention. “Is he nice?”

“Of course he’s nice.” Val sniffed.

“Then nothing doing.”

“What?”

“Nothing doing. I’m done with nice. This little chat has reinforced my decision. The next affair I start will be purely that. An affair. No strings, no promises. Just sex. Lots of hot sex.”

Val daintily wiped off her milk mustache before expelling an unladylike burp. “Excuse me. Run that by me one more time?”

“You heard me. Sex. I want sex. The steamier, the nastier, the better.

Author Bio

Lorelei James is the NY Times and USA Today Bestselling author of erotic westerns in the Rough Riders series and the Blacktop Cowboys series, erotic romance in the Mastered series, contemporary romance in the Need You series, and the New Adult Rough Riders Legacy series, as well as several standalone novels and novellas. Lorelei lives in western South Dakota--yes, by choice--with her husband, and Copper, their crazy corgi who has made life more interesting during these first empty nest years...

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