#< i'm mad enough that it's going in the main tag don't care

[salty-an-disco]

sure-fire way to make me respect you less as a person: tagging isafrin or sifloop as 'm/m'

[lost-and-ephemeral]

Could you please do LDS boys +

Caleb reacting to reader being injured/severely injured?<3

HCs: You're Injured (ft. main trio + Caleb)

Pairing: Xavier x reader, Zayne x reader, Rafayel x reader, Caleb x reader (seperate)

Tags: hurt/comfort, reader is injured but won't die

A/N: Thanks for your request! First time writing for Caleb, yay. Sorry if it isn't good enough, I'm not feeling so good since morning.

-`♡´- MASTERLIST -`♡´- 

Caleb

"Hold on, pip-squeak, I'm right here."

Your exhausted body, covered in wounds from the battle with Wanderer, was ready to collapse to the ground if Caleb hadn't caught you in time.

He knew how dangerous your job was, but that didn't make him any less worried.

You protected him but got hurt in the process.

He's frustrated and angry because there's no way he could've protected you in that situation.

And Caleb just hates this feeling, but trying to stay calm for your sake. His emotions could only make everything worse.

"Sometimes even big girls need someone else's help. Right? And I'm here for you."

Concern was written all over his face, he couldn't hide it even if he really tried. The last thing he wanted was to see you hurt, especially like this.

He was supposed to be your main protector back then. But now things have changed.

You had really grown a lot, not just physically, but mentally too.

It was just hard to accept you're no longer a little girl.

Yes, you are strong and mature. But Caleb kept holding you like you were the most fragile being in the world.

He will give you first aid as quickly as he can, while calling an ambulance. Caleb is not the kind of person who would risk your life trying to handle this situation on his own.

Definitely going to the hospital with you while holding your hand and talking to you. He'll be around as long as it takes.

Probably will fall asleep on the chair near your hospital bed.

No doubt he'll continue to look after you like he did when you both were younger.

Rafayel

"No, no, no. Don't even think about leaving me like this!"

Maybe sometimes Rafayel was overly dramatic, but he's actually afraid of losing you again.

When he saw that you were injured after not-so-pleasant encounter with Wanderers, his facade of self-confidence instantly cracked.

Rafayel started panicking and it was clear from the look on his face as he crouched beside you, seeing how you trying to cover the wound by your bloody hands.

Not again. No.

All these years he had to watch you die over and over again, losing all memories of him.

Rafayel instantly began to examine your wounds, holding you close. He didn't care if his perfectly white shirt will be covered in blood as well.

He needed to be sure you won't die this time.

And his playful attitude is gone completely.

"Don't you dare to die on me, you hear? I won't forgive you. Ever. Promise me. Promise me you won't die."

He tried to remain calm and ignore the suffocating feeling of anxiety that has been slowly rising in his chest. But he couldn't.

Will do everything to stop the bleeding while help is on it's way. You can feel his hands trembling.

He'd better die for you himself, not vice versa.

I swear, this man is gonna get the whole hospital on alert. Nurses and doctors can be mad at him as much as they want. It doesn't matter to him.

Rafayel won't rest and eat properly until you get better. He just physically can't.

"Don't scare me like this ever again, please."

Xavier

"I failed you."

You accidentaly got injured during your mission. And poor Xavier decided it was totally his fault.

You both found yourself surrounded by enemies and before he could even react, one of them attacked you, leaving a deep wound on your side.

Needless to say, in the next couple of seconds all Wanderers were completely destroyed, and Xavier was fully focused on you.

This isn't the first time you've been injured during a mission. But each time Xavier is as worried as always.

Especially when your injuries are so severe.

Will administer first aid on the spot, even the bare minimum, before carrying you to safety.

With Wanderers around, it's not going to be easy to get you out of this dangerous zone. So Xavier needs to stabilize you a little at first.

"I won't let you get hurt again. I promise."

He is already experienced in these situations, so he's able to keep his emotions under control. But that doesn't mean that deep inside he isn't worried sick about you.

Will be looking for anything to treat your wound and avoid infection.

Guilt will slowly eat him up from the inside no matter what. He had to protect you, but he failed to do so.

Even if you assure him it's just an accident, Xavier just shakes his head in response.

As soon as you can get out, he'll take you to the hospital. It is unlikely that his skills will be enough to make your wound heal properly.

Better safe than sorry.

He still has a lot of work to do, but he'll come to you whenever he has a spare minute.

Will probably act like a guilty puppy for a long time.

Zayne

"You're constantly putting yourself in danger."

Zayne has a hard time showing his feelings openly, especially when it comes to you, so it's no surprise that his display of concern felt like he was scolding you.

But in reality he's really, really worried about you every time.

He knew right away that you were in the hospital after another accident.

And as soon as Zayne had some time off between surgeries, he came to you.

Looking at you in the hospital bed, he felt his heart ache.

While he was desperately searching for a cure for your heart, you kept getting hurt again and again.

Even when you smiled, like if trying to reassure him everything's fine, Zayne only sighed and shook his head. You have no idea how hard it was to see you hurt and vulnerable like this.

He's already been informed of the severity of your wounds and how much blood you've lost.

And he could've lost you.

But Zayne can't let his emotions take over. There are still a few more difficult surgeries ahead where he cannot afford to make a mistake.

And if he starts panicking right in front of you, it's not going to speed up the healing process.

"I'd be happy if you took a more responsible approach to your health. Then I wouldn't have to be so worried."

He moved his chair closer to your bed and sat in silence for a while, squeezing your hand.

Zayne will stay around as long as his job lets him.

Don't be surprised to find candies or plushies you wanted on your nightstand.

You can ask him about these little gifts.

And watch carefully as a faint smile appears on his lips.

"Usually only children get so excited about toys. So it turns out you're not that far from being a child?"

[colorfullyminded]

TLDR

Okay I cannot believe I'm about to go off like this, but this has been bothering me for awhile, and it's only making me more spiteful. I have been enjoying the influx of Billford art lately. Amazing, great wonderful. What I have Not been enjoying, is the absolute vitriol the Billdip fans have been getting since the influx of TBOB. I was a billdip shipper for awhile. Hell I was a billdip shipper when I was a Parapines shipper-- I liked shipping Dipper with boys. I was also like 14 or 15 at the time. Obviously, if you follow me now, you'll probably notice what my main ship for Dipper is. I grew out of Billdip, and moved on to Pinescone. I have been shipping Pinescone for 10 years. However, not once did I go around saying "Lol, glad I matured and became a better person and shipped something healthier", nor did I post in the billdip tag, condeming people for a fictional ship! And saying mine was better because it was less problematic.

"I'm really glad people stopped shipping Bill and Dipper together. Bill is a 1000 year old triangle demon, and Dipper is 13--" Stop. Repeat what you just said.

"Bill is 1000 year old triangle--"

Repeat that last word to me. "....triangle?" TRIANGLE! I'm sorry what?! This ship is already completely wild enough. You're getting mad at this fictional age gap-- AND BILL IS A FUCKING SHAPE! A FUCKING SHAPE! This ship was weird from the moment GO! And Billford isn't any better. IT'S STILL A SHIP WITH A FUCKING SHAPE! And you're going to sit on your high horse and look down on the Billdip community. On top of it-- they have an age gap too! Bill is still thousands of years old or whatever-- however long it's been, who knows? And Ford was in his 20s or so when he met Bill. That's still a huge, ridiculous age gap-- that Bill could easily use and manipulate; which he did....and then also caught feelings and became a sad ex, but that's beside the point~ Both of these ships are still insane. And again, the bigger thing I think people are just ignoring about these ships--is that Bill is a TRIANGLE! THREE LINES CONNECTED TOGETHER! And this is the hill you're going to die on? ...Cause apparently it's mine. First of all-- as many people pointed out-- Ford Pines did not exist until the second half of the final season. People couldn't ship Fordbill because there wasn't any Ford to introduce.

"Well, even before Ford, I never shipped Billdip! I always disliked it." ...Okay, that's totally fine. Not everyone needs to like or agree on the same ship. Lord knows there's probably people who don't really care for Pinescone either. There's a lot of popular ships that I can't stand. But I'm don't go into a ship tag I don't like, screaming to a void for self validation. I don't go around mocking other people for ships that they had in 2014-- or even still today! It doesn't matter! I did that when I was a kid-- and then realized that was rude, and it was better to just ignore the ships I didn't like and enjoy the ones that made me happy. And grow a community of kind, like minded friends. And listen, I am all for safe spaces and being able to block things that make you uncomfortable. I am not saying people who find the BillDip ship uncomfortable to be idiots or babies or overly sensitive-- or anything like that. I think if something makes you uncomfortable, that is okay and I think it's perfectly fine to blacklist a tag that you don't want to see. I also think it's imperative that people tag things as accurately as they can so people looking at your work can know if one of your pieces has a thing that they don't like-- and therefore can avoid. What I don't appreciate is the fanhate for this ship that is sprouting up like weeds. You can not like something, you can be disgusted by it (I have my Gravity Falls ships I can not stand, nor do I feel comfortable with), but attacking real people for a FICTIONAL SHIP-- two characters who are drawings on a piece of paper and can not be affected mentally, physically or emotionally by fanwork; who still retain the same shape after everything we put them through-- to the point that you send death threats, or threaten to Doxx, or just harass relentlessly, I have always found that more childish and disgusting. You are causing real world pain to people. Me fucking up Dipper Pines is not going to do anything to him-- because he doesn't actually exist. He's a cartoon character. I could squash him and stretch him in Wonka's taffy machine--- I could throw him mock speed at a wall and watch him explode on impact-- but he still exists. He's not dead; I can pick him up and dust him off, and If I wanted-- I could decide that eh, 'Not a scratch on him'. And I'd be right. Because he is a cartoon character, and I am just a fangirl. I can not change anything about him-- I have no ability to make anything I headcanon canon. And even if I was the original artist-- it doesn't change the fact that Dipper would still be nothing more than a creation. A construct of shapes; he can not be hurt or traumatized in a way that leads to real life consequences-- because he is not real. I am not a cartoon character. My friends are not cartoon characters. Artist and Writers who stay in their lane...are not cartoon characters. If you hurt us...it will linger. It will leave a scar. If you can not tell the difference between Fiction and Reality, then I think maybe media might be too much to handle-- and I think you need to really reevaluate yourself.

And just to vent some other things that i keep seeing that are frustrating: You can't claim the twins are only 13-- and then on August 31st go "Happy 20-something Birthday Mabel and Dipper!" And then proceed to drop a picture of them as adults. Well which is it? Do they age or not? Because Gravity Falls showed them canonically aging. If you think the twins age-- then you can't suddenly turn around and go, 'no you can't ship them-- Dipper is a child!' but you drew him as an adult. So sorry, it looks like you can't draw the twins grown up anymore. You claimed they're 13, so better draw them 13 forever--. Aged up stories and works exist for a reason, especially for a fan who grew up on the series. The characters might have grown up alongside them. It's not unlikely for a person to ship Billdip when Dipper is much older.

And on that note, for people who are like 'well older billdip is fine-- it's just people shipping him during the show that deserve to die.' Okay... and like I said, this rant is coming from a recent influx of Billford shippers spitting on Billdip shippers. You know? The TOXIC Old Man Yaoi!

You're still shipping something that is problematic. You are still shipping something twisted and wrong. And I am not judging you. I am here for this divorced arc. I am thriving. But you can't just pick and choose what is and isn't okay. And let me first off explain; if there is something that personally triggers you about a toxic ship, and you want to avoid that-- again, perfectly understandable. Perfectly reasonable. You are the makers of your content space. And I am not judging anyone for that. I want people to be safe. I want people to have a good time in fandom spaces. I want people to not have to deal with the things that upset them or frighten them, or disgust them. But you can not say one is fine, and one is not. They're both bad! They're both toxic. In real life, these ships would both be charged with serious crimes! And yes, there are some crimes that are worse than others, and if you asked me what I thought was more problematic-- I'd say Billdip-- but both of these ships are extreme, and severe in their problematic content. You are still consuming problematic content. If it's a personal thing, that's fine; avoid it. But don't sit there throwing stones from your glass house.

[shinestarhwaa]

(RUIN MY) MAKE UP || ROWOON / KIM SEOKWOO

It's been so long since I've written for anything other than Ateez... so here's one for my other husband: Rowoon (his real name is Kim Seokwoo, so I'll be using that in the actual fic)

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Bf!Rowoon x fem reader

Word count: 1.1K

Tags/warnings: dirty language, protected sex, fingering, blow job, make up sex, marking, bigdick!Rowoon, size kink, doggy style, mild squirting

@anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @star1117-archives @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @dreamlesswonder86 @lemonhongjoong @woosanbby @babesindestroyland

ENJOY!

"Babe, I'm back!" Your boyfriend called out. You immediately slid down deeper on the couch, hiding in the blanket you had wrapped around yourself.

Before he went to work you two had burst out in a big fight. You haven't had the chance to work it out yet so you knew he'd force you to talk it out now. As he should, but still, you were too stubborn for your own good.

He came into the room and you noticed the stressful aura around him. You sighed deeply as his face looked apologetic. ''Baby, I'm sorry, I had to go,'' he said as he sat next to you. You couldn't help but tear up.

''You always have to go,'' you sobbed. He nodded and took you in his arms. ''I know I do, I know my job is busy... I'm sorry, baby,'' Seokwoo said as he kissed your forehead. ''I'm here now, and I'll try to be here as much as I can but...'' ''You can't always stay home, I know,'' you whispered.

''Let me make it up to you, please,'' he whispered, pressing kisses down your neck. ''You can't just make everything up with sex, Seokwoo,'' you said, closing your eyes. You wanted to stay mad at him, but there was no way you ever could.

''I'm aware,'' he mumbled, lips still attached to your neck. You moaned softly when he marked you up, claiming you as his. Seokwoo took you in his arms and lifted you up, moving to the bedroom.

He took off your top and laid you down on the bed, face diving down to lick and suck at your nipples. Your lewd noises were like music to his ears. ''I love the sounds that you make, angel,'' he whispered, making you shiver. He removed his own clothes, making you admire his tall, sculpted body. You were quick to remove your shorts and panties, spreading your legs for him.

You were embarrassed, mad 5 minutes ago and already opening your legs for him. But Seokwoo knocked that thought out of your brain soon enough. He slid 2 of his fingers in your wet core, smirking. ''Do I get you this wet with just kissing, my dove?''

You whined out as he curled and scissored his fingers inside you, hitting your favourite spots and loosening you up so you could fit his big cock in.

''O-Oh yes,'' you moaned out louder as he pushed his third finger in. His thumb flicked over your sensitive clit every now and then, making your hips jerk. ''T-That's so fucking good, yes!''

''You hear that baby?'' Seokwoo said, smirking as he slowed his fingers down. The squelching of your arousal could not be missed. It brought a blush to your cheeks. ''So fucking wet for me, every time, such a good girl.''

''Please, don't stop! Don't ever stop!'' you cried loudly, tears welling up in your eyes as Seokwoo brought his lips down to your cunt, sucking on the sensitive bundle of nerves.

''You're doing so well for me, baby, my precious, are you gonna cum for me? Gonna cum all over my fingers for me?'' he smirked. ''Y-Yes, gonna cum! Please don't stop!''

A wave of pleasure flowed over your body, your orgasm so intense you shook and shuddered in Seokwoo's embrace. He kissed you passionately, smudging your lipgloss all over your mouth. A tear fell from your eye, leaving a streak of black mascara down your cheek.

''It's okay, precious, I got you, I will take care of you, gonna fuck you so well,'' he shushed you. He kissed your head before taking a condom from the drawer. He slid it over his hard cock, stroking it a few times before entering your pussy.

He stretched you so deliciously everytime, no one has ever done it for you. He was the only one who could make you feel this amazing. You moaned out loud, arching your back as he repeatedly hit all your sweet spots. "O-oh Seokwoo, fuck me, please, fuck me," you whined. Seokwoo sped his pace up and held onto your hips tightly.

His tall, big figure towered over you, making you so much smaller. His eyes rolled back when you let out a loud cry, clenching on his dick.

"Fuck, princess, that's so good~," he moaned out. Seokwoo threw his head back out of pleasure, rocking his hips into you faster. "That's it precious, that's it, fucking take my dick, you like that baby?" "Yes! That feels so good! So good~" you whined, gripping the sheets tightly in your fists.

The way he fucked you so deep, fast but so full of passion made you melt in his embrace every time. The way his cock hit all the right places inside you no matter when or how he took you hard.

It didn't take long before you came undone on his cock, clenching around him as you whined out his name. Seokwoo halted his movements, stopping himself from coming already.

"I'm not done yet," he panted, pulling his shaft out of you. Voluntarily, you got on your hands and knees, showing off your behind. Your boyfriend smirked and ran his hands all over your ass. He moved his face closer to your body and spat on your wet pussy, coating you with saliva.

Seokwoo rubbed his cock over your pussy a few times before pushing it in again, penetrating you deeply. Soon enough you couldn't hold on any longer, sinking through your arms, letting him fuck you face-down into the sheets.

"Fuck, princess, doing so well for me, so good," he moaned out in a raspy tone. He peppered kisses all over your back as his thrusts got sloppier and sloppier, signing you he was getting really close.

"Fuck, please!" You moaned loudly, not even aware what you were begging him for. "Yes, fuck baby, g-gonna give it to you!" He moaned before thrusting a last few times and spilling inside the condom.

He slid his hand to your pussy and rubbed your clit fast and roughly, making you shudder with pleasure. Before you knew it you were squirting on his fingers and cock, shaking around him.

"Fuck, baby, so gorgeous... such a good girl," he praised you, pulling out of you and tossing the condom into the trash. He laid down and pulled you onto his chest, letting you recover from your intense orgasms.

"You're so beautiful, I love you...," he whispered, kissing your head. "I love you too... and you know, we could do this a lot more often if you'd be home." "I'll surely try, precious, I won't ruin your make-up with bad tears any longer," he smirked.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Friday Ramblings

I don't normally do this but I have a couple of thoughts going on in my head regarding the last couple of days week in BL that I just wanted to collect them all instead of just doing it in tags.

Shadow

I'm pissed. I am a big fan of anything horror or supernatural themed stuff so I was really looking forward to this. (Don't even get me started of how disappointed I am at the disappearance of the other horror themed show I could be watching) And the first part did not disappoint. It was a strong first half, good set up of the different story lines and all the players and I was really excited about it. There was such good meta written about the show, and it turned out to be superior to what the show eventually gave us. (@wen-kexing-apologist specially gave us such excellent meta on this show that I wish they were in charge of the second half of this show) I agree with @lurkingshan about everything they said here. Something which I thought was interesting was that I think in this second half the show purposefully made the fake arm really obvious. I don't know if it wanted us to know before Dan but I also don't think it was an accident. But I'm also not gonna theorize about the reasons because I really don't care that much. The "BL" bait was just another thing that pissed me off. I'm not upset it's not BL, I'm upset because it was sold as such and no one will convince me otherwise. For a couple of episodes, at least, the show wanted us to think that Dan was falling for Nai. The prom moment was just fucking ridiculous. The parallels with October 6 could've been really interesting if there wasn't so much going on that it kinda took the weight of it away. One of the questions I like to ask myself when watching any media is - what is it trying to tell? Sometimes nothing and that's fine. It's pure escapism and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. It can still be excellent. And sometimes it tries to say too much that it ends up not having a cohesive message and it all falls flat. Religion, communism, family trauma, homophobia, mental health, infidelity, teacher-student relationship, pregnancy, murder, police brutality, friendship, bullying, the oh so many supernatural elements, I could go on. You get the picture. So in conclusion, I am not happy.

VIP Only

It's cute. I like both of them enough and it's a good mellow way to start the friday madness.

Last Twilight

This show is surprising me so much. In the best ways. As I said before this pair didn't do much for me in the past but I've surrendered completely, specially to Jimmy. He was so good in this episode that I felt obligated to gif it just so I could keep watching his expressions.

That whole final scene just floored me. His eyes just carried that moment and that whole scene so well that by the end a lonely sunflower brought tears to my eyes. ( and I do not cry easy). After all the cute dates, this scene was a gut punch.

I'm just really stuck on this show, and it holds my attention all through the episode.

My Dear Gangster Oppa

This episode was silly, I couldn't care less about the gangster side of the story at the moment, I'd rather spend more time with the gamer friend group. Wahl got a bit of a redemption but I still don't like him. I liked that Guy stood his ground with Wahl and Tew, but hated the stalker behaviour. If you wanna go dude, just leave!

Sahara Sensei to Toki-kun

Japan my beloved. They just keep giving me all I need. Toki is giving me some Aoki vibes and I could not be happier. And Toki now has got two friends in his corner and I'm so happy. This one and Kinou Nani Tabeta are currently my main sources of joy and my heart is full.

Pit Babe I'd like to thank @pharawee for giving us the novel commentary because it makes it a bit less confusing while I watch this. I have no clue about omegaverse so a part of me is confused, sometimes bored, another part of me is just waiting for Jeff and Alan to be a thing and all of me is happy that Pavel is on my screen weekly.

Twins

This show is dragging and I'm officially bored. I don't mind a slow burn if the rest of the show can hold it together. But the team animosity is just tiring and annoying at this point, the side couples are not engaging ( a bj in the shower does not a side couple make) and for a show named Twins, I would like to see more of them.

Middleman's Love

I'm 99% here for the sides. They are cute, they give me some Ram/King vibes and I wanna see more of them. I was super happy to see Ngern again and the family dinner was a good moment. I don't have the patience for this sort of misunderstanding anymore so that ending annoyed the hell out of me.

(I'm watching For Him too but I have nothing nice to say, so I'll say nothing at all. And yes I know I just did that with Shadow but I was never that invested in this one)

Really looking forward to Kinou Nani Tabeta tomorrow morning and The Sign in the afternoon.

I wish all a great weekend and thanks for reading💜

(because I needed a good cry)

[pavlovianpanic]

i've always argued that josh and chris have this very strong bond. i want to start by saying i absolutely adore their friendship. i think it's so important overall to the story, so any inferences we receive are mostly probably by some artists on the team that can get away with it. especially with the remake, seeing fan reactions now, it wasn't hard to slip chris 4 josh in there but notice it's not like chris <3 josh or chris + josh, it's still sort of vague enough that like "yeah, i'm here for you, bro!" or "i like you". i think it's intentionally vague to affirm some but not really piss anyone else off. chris is a goofy guy, and also we now know that's josh's truck for sure. makes sense. it's been there a while.

i've talked about all of that in multiple different posts. if you want to read them: chris 4 josh which goes over other relationships with josh and how i see ships with him, etc, and also is more "fair" and less biased towards "climbing class" or what i now just call "chris 4 josh" (and subsequently all my ship tags now follow that for consistency) bc i kinda like that better? climbing class always was a little goofy for my tastes personally, but they are goofy, so it does work, but also ... there's no real connection between them and the climbing class line, it's just kind of a joke? but i get it, there's not a lot of content, but i am here to petition for chris 4 josh as the new ship name. also ... just kind of weird that jossam shippers don't call it "bathing bird" as their ship name? or actually thirty love is a better ship name tbh. go with that. thirty love. not my ship, but there are better names than jossam, i think.

how does everyone in the ud group know each other?

a question about why josh "victimizes chris" and how their relationship should be viewed more critically.

i think josh has other friend groups and the ud kids aren't his main posse, but chris is his best friend.

i've harped on and on about how chris is the main champion for josh's mental health ... that he is the one that truly knows "the most" about josh, despite josh lying to him, too. josh lies to everyone. he's never been really honest with people, always divulging a sort of half-truth or version of himself (his best self) for people to consume more easily.

also, let's give chris some credit here, because he gets shit on a lot for being so inactive in the basement scene.

but think about what he has gone through compared to, say, mike. shocking, right? because mike is doing so much! but what has mike been doing before all of this? before jessica gets taken? having a great fucking time. he's scaring his friends, having snowball fights, getting catty in the lodge with matt if you choose to do-so or just watching his two love interests have at it, jokes with jess all the way there, has a scary moment and runs, then gets to try and fuck her all before getting into his more serious character arc. this is all purposeful, i'm not mad at mike for this. we need this to happen to him, right? to show that he's actually super capable, cares, and will go the distance. mike is the man you want going after you, no question. he is insane for going so hard after jessica, and continuing to pursue onward instead of going back. insane in a good way. i can see why he thinks he can be president.

but chris ... by comparison? not going so great. he's worried about josh, he's already had to climb over the wall before sam, has had to encourage sam to come, has to assuage her this is a good idea, all while trying to check in on josh, trying to have fun, trying to be a good guy with ashley, trying to be the funny guy, having to go through the lodge because josh told him to with a lighter, gets attacked by a wolverine, gets made fun of all while trying to be fun about it himself, goes through the whole ouija thing, goes through the whole basement thing, goes through the saw choice, goes through trying to find sam, goes through having to choose between himself and ashley, goes through josh's reveal, goes through having to tie josh up, goes through having to go back for josh as the only one willing to do so, sees josh might be gone and dead, sees the stranger die, gets attacked, and then almost dies before he gets to the basement? he is honestly exhausted. let someone else have the trauma stick. it's not his time anymore. he deserves to be more inactive towards the end. he just carried the game for us.

but josh cares for chris, chris cares for josh. i won't repeat all my other metas because this is a new meta.

when chris is told that josh's body can't be recovered? he's all but about to cry. he's had to lose josh so many times. he really thought josh might pull it out of the hat again just one last time. that he could be alive.

i've mentioned i think for the remake both endings for sam and josh are just outright lame. josh because it detracts from his narrative, sam because it's just plot holes for days and is unnecessary. as a roleplayer? good stuff, mostly for josh, but as an actual game that isn't catering to the 1% of roleplayers out there? bad decision. josh deserves redemption, but the horror of it all is that he cannot achieve it, instead being consumed by the same thing that consumed his sister(s). josh is doomed by the narrative more than anyone else because the narrative is mostly his story and the story of his family. you're not there for any reason other than josh as the player, he's called us here so we have answered his call (to greatness).

in the beta, josh outright denies sam, who is outright coming onto him. this isn't a sam comparison post btw, that's not what this is. but in the beta, he's still very devoted to chris, even more openly kind of too much. in the game we get, that angle is sort of scrapped entirely. josh and sam have their dynamic, chris and josh are best friends, sam and chris seemed to have some implied thing (ik i write her as a lesbian but i am a slave to canon, folks, chris could very well have been her intended love interest lmao), and chris likes ashley, and thus ashley likes chris. we get a structure of intentional coupling: josh and sam are single, ash and chris are the will they / won't they, and then we have the other four paired together kind of interchangeably (ik matt and jess aren't canon, but there's kind of an implied history with how easily they go after each other, at least in a friend way). this helps not isolate non-couple players. it's a game mechanic thing.

but what's interesting is how josh, who has a lot of front-facing conversations with chris, looks at him?

he's always got a kind of ... i don't want to say tenderness, but definitely a more authentic way of being, even when acting. he is acting to these kids as himself, which is why josh is so believable. josh plays josh very well.

he's looking at chris. in the original, it's the same, but much harder to see (model placement, camera placement, lighting, shading, etc). here, it's much more upfront and obvious, even without my psd. josh looks chris up and down, bites his lip, and nods. that's a very specific way to look at someone. i'll leave that up to you to interpret.

to me, i think josh probably liked chris, felt it wasn't received, encouraged him to date ashley, got mad about it, then got mad at chris for still liking ashley even after the prank, and sort of maybe punished him a bit for that but mostly made chris "his hero" for "his movie". you don't make someone your hero without really having an infinity for them, romantic or not.

chris has always valued josh as his highest even seeing him at his lowest. saying josh isn't on his meds if you don't find all the right clues isn't something was in hannah's diary, that is something chris knows about josh.

i think chris has come to the closest to knowing the real josh. he's the only one, i think, who notices when he's gone.

probably also important: josh's sexuality. for me, i generally choose for josh that women make him uncomfortable.

[fangsded]

POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR FINAL FANTASY XIII -LIGHTNING RETURNS!!!!

I just finished Lightning Returns. Holy fuck that ending was BIZARRE but also the exact ending I wanted. I LOVED every second of the main story. I love the anti government/religion, I love the (in my eyes) hints at queerness, I LOVE the reunions, I love that they did closure for the sequel characters?? I LOVE CAIUS/YUEL/NOEL'S ENDING SMMM!!! I love literally everything about the end.

There are just a few things I don't understand:

When Lightning first goes down onto the first little bit of the cathedral, and she talks to Lumina, everything was pretty much okay until Lightning decides to make sure Vanille doesn't do the soul song. When Lightning decides to run off to do that, Lumina suddenly breaks down and begs her not to leave.. AND THEN POOFS AWAY WHEN LIGHTNING LEAVES??? Just go with Lightning, kiddo. It's not like she would've stopped Lumina if she was gonna help? Lumina seems pretty powerful too, she could've been a big help. 😭

When Lightning talks to "Cid." If Lightning could talk to the dead and hear them out better than Vanille could, why didn't they do that sooner than legit the last day to talk? Vanille could hear all of them at once and it was suffocating, but Lightning could hear one guy out that was speaking for all the dead, and actually figure out what to do. Why'd they wait till the very end to suddenly throw that bit of kinda big story at us? Lightning and Vanille could've talked it out and the whole soul song thing could've been stopped way earlier.

If Lightning lost her emotions not because of the gods, but because she shut them away when her mom passed, how come she actually had character in the first game, then suddenly she becomes helpers for God's and becomes emotionless?? Shouldn't she have been emotionless from the start if she "made herself emotionless?" She was pretty emotionless in XIII-2, and Lumina wasn't a thing, so it can't be because Lumina took the emotional part of Lightning and left her with only logic. Plus, if she genuinely couldn't feel any emotion till the very end of the game, why did she care to help Serah, or any of the others, and genuinely care when they were hurt? If she only cared about Serah, she could've saved many other souls, yet she went after people like Snow and Caius who were difficult or even impossible to save. She could've just stuck to finding oil for Bachti and small things like that. 😭😭

Remember these?

She felt genuine emotions like joy, worry, annoyance, and more but those are the pictures I have at the moment. If she lost her emotions because of herself, shouldn't it have been flipped? Where she is emotionless in the first game and grows to show her feelings by LR? She even was really shut off from everything in the very beginning and warmed up to the others enough to show emotion. But no?? more time passes and she shuts off after growing so much in game one???

This one I'm almost more mad about than Hope constantly in your ear bothering you all of LR.

If Noel cared enough about Serah to help at the very end of the game, why didn't he just help though the whole game? He wasn't doing anything after we beat him in the fight other than wandering Luxerion. He could've just tagged along. Lightning told him the goal was to save Serah before they fought and all he cared about was his Yuel, but suddenly at the very end he cares now? I could see why Sazh and Snow didn't tag along. Sazh had Dajh to spend the remainder of time with, and Snow technically had a house to rebuild even though it wasn't worth it since the end of the world was approaching, but I guess it's a better excuse than; "I only care about Yuel right now, so you can save Serah on your own."

If Lightning and Fang knew that Vanille was being manipulated a few days before the end, and Vanille regularly wanders the cathedral later in the day, and at least Lightning knows this, why didn't they just tell her? Maybe Fang knew less and didn't believe she could convince Vanille yet. But Lightning doesn't have an excuse. Lightning found out Vanille was being manipulated and why a few days before the end, and we could go up to Vanille and talk to her still. Why didn't Lightning tell her before the soul song was about to be performed??? She didn't even try at all, maybe if there was a scene where she tried and it didn't work without Fang being there for some reason then maybe the end would make more sense, but it was actually very preventable. Lightning also didn't know that Buhnavelze (or however you spell that thing,) was controlling Hope yet, so maybe Hope could've had a suspicious scene where he tells Lightning to go do something "important" before she tries to tell Vanille? That would've been great.

I also didn't understand "fake Serah" at all? Like, they said things like, "she was a fake the whole time." So that means for how long? Cause the whole time would mean she wasn't ever real including before the L'cie stuff, but I don't think they meant that? Unless they did? They mean just for after she died right? There's no way they mean to say that the whole first game journey was for a fake sister/fiance, right? The whole XIII-2 journey would've also meant nothing because the main character would've been fake, and saving her in LR would be pointless if she was fake the whole time too? So they had to have meant when she randomly appeared to attempt to toy with Lightning, right?

What happened to the fakes anyways? Tf happened to fake Serah? Did she just get cast aside bc she wasn't the real Serah? She explained that she had feelings and a soul, just not Serah's soul, which means she was a real person too. Did I blink and miss the scene where she turned into only a soul too or go into Lightning's heart or something? Cause after all the talk of doing what's right and making sure to save literally everyone except for Caius and most the Yuel's, there's no way they'd cast aside someone like that just because she isn't the actual Serah, right?

Now this one is probably gonna be excused with "they're just optional NPCs!" But I'm still gonna ask.

The fuck did they do? Did they develop mental disorders and become disabled? The side quests are SOOOO dragged out, and all they do is yap and yap. Most the quests are; "go up the hill and find the thing we've been searching for, for 500 years." Or "go find my wife's broken calculator for me that's just over there in the sand by the skeleton. My poor dumb soul can't be saved without that broken calculator." Like, really? Pretty much all the side quests are just nonsense fluff that they could very well do themselves. Why do their souls depend on Lightning doing everything, and why do they talk so much for so long and drag out everything as much as possible? AND WHY DO YOU GAIN LEVELS OFF OF THE DUMBASS FLUFF QUESTS THAT'RE SO SO PAINFUL? WHY WAS BUHNAVELZE SO HARD AFTER DOING MOSTLY ALL THE QUESTS TOO? YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT HE'S EVEN MORE DIFFICULT WITHOUT DOING ALMOST ALL QUESTS? I ALMOST HAD TO START COMPLETELY OVER ON THAT FIGHT 😰

Don't tell me about the four rooms at the end either, the fights in there were also way too hard and I couldn't do a single one. That shit is for new game+

Why is Buhnavelze so annoying? Like, he controlled Hope's body, right? Hope talked in your ear about everything and as many useless things as possible. Real Hope didn't do that. Why is Buhnavelze really damn annoying?

Despite all the flaws, I still love it and will be going rabid over it. This hyper fixation will be the most over the top so far because it's too good. I could make a bigger rant than this about why I love it, but I won't.

Please tell me about these things if you know about them though. I'd love to hear it out and learn why all these things happened the way they did.

[bcbdrums]

Given the fact that we were talking about our perceptions of certain kinds of ships in regards to Stein and how they suit or do not suit his character, how do you feel about smut/the relationship dynamics within Stein x character smut fics?

All righty then...! Here comes a very long rambling of my headcanons about Stein, his two primary relationships, and his relationship with those deeper intimacies. This takes some turns before it gets to the main point but well, I love talking about this man. Extremely long post under the cut.

Also - there are two blogs I tag at the very end of this post - you two feel free to ignore all my ramblings, just know I praise you both at the end and I still re-read your Soul Eater stories VERY regularly.

I'm truthfully still trying to reorganize my thoughts on this specific topic because 1) I have listened to many a headcanon from others on the subject and I always try to give validity to their thoughts even when they differ from mine, and 2) I've also read tons of smut fic with Stein out of sheer desperation for...well, Stein fic. (Come on Stein fandom where you at? Write me some gen fic too, lol)

I have not read too many fics of him with Marie cuz those always contain manga spoilers so I'm skipping those for now until I finish reading (exactly halfway through!). So what I've read is mostly Stein/Spirit smuts and just a couple with Marie, and I want to say….almost zero?? I think zero of those fics (and boy I've read plenty) have "hit the spot" in terms of what I would want for a Stein smut. They're good stories, in some cases great stories, well-written and thoughtfully conceived, but they're not fitting my headcanons and interpretations of who I see onscreen (and who I see in the manga so far).

All that said now… Some of my own relevant headcanons for him, and then I'll get more into fic of others.

I go back and forth toying with the idea that Stein experimented with intimacy just a little as a teen. He's not immune to puberty and hormones; he's human whether he likes it or not, which isn't to say mind over matter doesn't work for him. (Clearly it does, in staving off madness among other things.) But he's a scientist. He's curious. And I can see him justifying an experiment or two in his teen years. But they would in fact be just that, experiments. It's still a big maybe. I can't say for certain he would, it's the sort of thing like…if all the dots line up just right, he'd attempt it. If not, he wouldn't. And it would only be with those two people: Marie and/or Spirit. He doesn't trust anyone else enough. (Yes, I'm on board with the popular fanon that Marie was one of his other weapon partners after Spirit.)

Another teen headcanon... I can also easily see a sort of angsty distraction possibility for him. When he loses Spirit to Kami, I can see him getting into a "romantic" relationship with Marie as sheer distraction, and even misguided retaliation. Spirit "cheated" on him with another meister and abandoned him, so why shouldn't he do the same with another weapon? Which sucks for Marie but well she's not healthy about relationships any more than Stein or Spirit are. But this is just another sort of maybe-thought; another situation where all the dots would have to line up just right for him to go for it. But I can see it, no question, just like the prior thought.

As for Stein as an adult, at the point we see him in the show… While I think relationally he and Spirit have the most interesting dynamic to explore, the one he shows more openness toward is Marie. It's clear that he cares for her. And he doesn't fully understand that either. Now I don't think he wants to get into bed with her, or marry her, or anything traditional to a romance. But I also don't think Marie is going anywhere. Thinking post-anime now…. Unless he gives her a sign that there is nothing between them, I think she's staying put. But sadly for her, I think there is something between them... Sadly because, Stein doesn't know what it is, and it's not "love" the way that Marie wants it. It's just something he's unfamiliar with. Meanwhile she's devoted to him, poor woman.

Now, end of the anime… Let's talk about this…. Marie helps him back to sanity with her healing wavelength. But…then he's just "okay"? No he isn't. Look at that man. His dark circles are darker, his eyes are more haunted. That man has been living off madness and cigarettes for weeks. When is the last time he ate anything? Showered? Legitimately got any sleep?? How he's even standing up let alone fighting Medusa is beyond me, and then he performs freaking major surgery and then waltzes into the death room afterward like he's fine. Because...that's who Stein is.

Stein will fight until he is incapable of fighting anymore, to serve those he loves. Yes I said loves. And it is agonizing how much he strives to show his love for others, and it's something he doesn't even realize he has within him. He thinks he can't understand love? It's because he feels it so deeply and passionately it's beyond definition. Part of this however I'm also certain is motivated from his deep desire for purpose as an adult. The manga shows that aspect of his character even more-so than the anime (in what I've read so far). That man is desperate for purpose and to belong somewhere, with someone. He can't escape his human nature even if he doesn't understand it, can't define it, and even though it drives him crazy all on its own…

So bringing this back to Marie… End of the anime. I don't think Marie is leaving. She's gonna stay, help nurse Stein back to health and sanity despite his pretending he's fine (or perhaps even sheer ignorance of his condition), and Stein…is gonna be confused the whole dang time about his feelings for Marie. He knows he feels something but he has no idea what it is or how to process it. But "love" in the romantic sense he doesn't possibly consider, because well...his conceptions of that sort of thing aren't based in anything healthy (see: Spirit's relationships).

So yeah… She's not leaving. He won't reject her attentions because he does care about her, just not in a way he understands and also not in the way she wants. And as she starts to realize that he has some kind of feeling for her, I think she'd turn up the romance and she'd make a move on him. OR…she'd play the extremely...long...patient game, and wait for him to make a move on her, when it's within his comfort zone. And let me be clear… This man still does not know what love is in this traditional sense, does not understand love. He knows what physical attraction and hormones are and darn him he can't shake those either, but as an adult he wouldn't act impulsively on them nor would he confuse them with love. Stein is the ultimate master of mind over matter. If he were to sleep with her, it would be a choice; a decision he makes consciously and deliberately. I see this within the realms of possibility. But if he chooses it himself, if he's the one who makes that decision simply out of his wanting to…it would be a long, long time that that woman is waiting for him. But I do think it possible. The question is simply, how long will she wait. And she's also the type to try to stir things up (see: her behavior toward Joe in the manga). So who knows when they may end up in bed together... These dots are more complicated to align than those of his teenage years. And if Marie made the move first...I think he'd accept it. Because, see again, his wanting to belong with someone, and he knows he feels something different with Marie.

As for Spirit, well... Stein sees that Spirit likes women. And Stein sees that Spirit can't commit. I think Stein "loves" Spirit more than he loves Marie. First love, young love... Spirit is the relationship of his life, even though that's yet another thing he cannot possibly understand. I think that while part of him, the mad obsessive part, and the curious part, does want to be close to Spirit in the intimate way…it's not out of a healthy desire or even typical motivations. It would come from a desire to possess, from his deeply human but inexplicable yearning to be closer to the one he loves even though it's not the right type of love for that type of intimacy. Not really sure Spirit would be all-in if Stein were to make the move... I think Spirit would take persuading. It's another circumstance where all the dots have to line up just right, and in this case probably more while caught up in madness than in sanity. Because as previously mentioned… In his right mind, Stein knows that Spirit likes women and more importantly that Spirit cannot commit. And he's ironically smart enough to know not to attempt a traditional human romance with someone who cannot commit. I don't think Stein would himself attempt intimacy with Spirit in his right mind at all, unless something happened to make him utterly desperate not to lose the man... Another instance of, all those dots have to connect.

But ugh, the angst. Spirit abandoned him after five years... Stein is not going to willingly subject himself to possible heartbreak again. Plus, he does not think Spirit has forgiven him for the "experiments." I think he thinks Spirit only hangs around him now as an adult as his handler, despite desperately wanting his friendship again. But I think he figures it's a lost cause so he just takes what is offered and never pursues more.

Okay but before I digress further into my endless thoughts about Stein's and Spirit's relationship (I'll do another post for that maybe), back to the point of your question.

I am really not one for labels, partially because I don't understand them but also because I think the spectrum is just so deep and too much defies definition. But if I were to label him, I guess I'd go with...gray ace with demi leanings…?

The man is driven only by curiosity, about anything and everything. But the level of intimacy we're talking about is more than he ever wants to trust anyone with. It's always gotta be on his terms, and more often than not…his terms would be unhealthy.

So let's talk about what shows up in fanfic, since that was what the original question was about. And once again, I like to lend validity to everyone's interpretation. Just because it isn't mine doesn't mean it's wrong or shouldn't exist. But you did ask about MY thoughts, so that's what I'm sharing here.

Once again, I've barely touched Stein/Marie fic because I'm avoiding manga spoilers. In the one or two I've seen, he comes across as not connecting emotionally in the typical way, but knowing that there is indeed something different about being with her. He knows she cares about him, and he cares in return. But it doesn't come across as anything intimate on his side of it. This isn't a characterization I particularly like, because Stein as an adult... As I said, I think he'd choose that intimacy if and when he wants it. In the stories, it comes across more as him just doing her a favor, just going along. It doesn't sit right. But like I said, that's only two stories. For other Stein/Marie, I reserve opinion for later.

Stein/Spirit... Okay. I've noticed a great many commonalities in the fics I've read. And this isn't a taste or preference thing; like I said I have devoured almost every smut fic just in desperation for any fanfic of them. Would prefer more gen fic less smut personally, but anyway.

Most fics have Stein in the dominant role, Spirit in the submissive role. I understand that interpretation but it's not how I see them. I see them as equals if they were to get into that type of intimacy. There is often a lot of bloodplay, frequently madness on Stein's part, major instances of non-con, pet play, BDSM, sometimes light cannibalism... It all suggests an impersonal and unhealthy relationship most of the time, which again...is not at all how I see them if they were to become a couple. Could such things come about? Unhealthily, possibly. But darn me and my desire for happy endings.

These two men are so broken, that if they were to become a healthy couple...I feel like it would be slow, cautious...extremely hesitant. There is extreme distrust on both sides, and also misconceptions about how the other feels. Which...I will save that analysis for later. Focusing back on smut fic.

I have seen only a few that touch on the give and take in a trusting relationship (all by the same author) that come closest to what I feel is accurate to the characters onscreen as I see them, but still the emphasis is too much on lust. It still isn't hitting the spot for me due to a lack of that relational development... Make no mistake, the stories are great, but I personally am hoping for something much deeper.

In my view, Stein just does not seek out physical intimacy in that way. I don't think he can fully escape the innate human need for touch, but in terms of a drive to get into bed with anyone... I think the occasional human desire for it crops up, and he easily ignores it/packs it away because it's not useful to him. It doesn't bother him. He doesn't think about it.

So this is where that...gray-ace, demi vibe comes into play for my view of him. Talking about Stein here as an adult and in control of himself, not consumed by madness... This is I supposed a bit of a summation of my thoughts.

If he did get into a relationship with anyone (and again I think his only choices are Spirit and Marie), it would not be based on the physical at all. I also don't think he would rush into any relationship. It would be a long process before he trusted the person enough to consider them a romantic partner. And really, we could get away from the word romance entirely... Life-partner is a better word, in Stein's case. If the person wanted physical intimacies, I think he would be responsive to that. The other person would be in the lead, but in no way dominating. It would have to be an equal trust thing or else Stein would nope out hard. Stein would gradually learn what it is he likes physically, and how to give his partner what they want. He can come to enjoy it because this is his life-partner, the one he belongs with, the one who needs him and is part of his purpose. But again...the physical is not something that drives him at all. Not in how I see him portrayed onscreen or in the manga.

So, overall, in my point of view nearly all smut fics miss the mark. Now...the stories I've seen where I think the physical intimacy is nailed don't even get to smut. Those are the stories by @asymmetryestablished (AO3 NothingSoDivine) and their characterizations of Stein and Spirit defy description in any words I have. The other author who nails it is @wispforever (same on AO3) and the closest to physical intimacy they get is dancing, but my gosh still the characterizations are utter perfection. I will be re-reading y'all's Stein/Spirit stories forever.

I hope I did in fact answer your question, but overall, I was delighted to just spill out so many of my thoughts about Stein even if in summary form. Yes this was a summary... Okay. I'm done. Thanks.

[amethystina]

Dear Amethystina,

How could you do this to me????? I think I'm going to perish. PERISH. You posted about Mad Dog and twinky Woo Do Hwan and??? How could I not watch it???? And now I've just finished episode 12.

And let me tell you. I have suffered. The PAIN of watching Jang Ha Ri (who I really want to like, mind you) and Kim Min Joon doing their stupid flirty thing. Maybe it's because I haven't finished the drama, but I feel like Ha Ri is being done dirty. And without even mentioning the surprisingly homoerotic bromance of said Kim Min Joon and Choi Kang Woo.

Since you are the reason I started watching Mad Dog in the 1st place (curse my similar taste), I'm ranting to you. I know you have no particular obligation to reply. :) But these are my thoughts, and I must tell them to someone because I don't know anyone else who watches this drama, and the tumblr tag for it is a vacuum. Let the rant commence.

How could the writers do this to Jang Ha Ri's character?? Maybe it's just bc I haven't gotten to that part yet, but she barely got any backstory, and I'm 3/4 of the way through this drama. Just a couple lines abt her father being saved by Kang Woo. And that's it. That's it! Even Cheetah got a friggin flashback. Even though he's a less significant character. (Pardon me, Cheetah, but it's true.) Since she has no backstory, her character feels rather ungrounded. We, the audience, don't really know who she is w/o the two main leads. With every other character, we know who they are on their own, because they got a rather thorough backstory.

But Jang Ha Ri has barely any, which I think is strange, since she's pretty important. Therefore, whenever I see her on screen, I just can't connect with her. In the beginning of the drama, I was like "wow, this is such a good setup for her character! i can't wait to see what the writers do with her". But now I'm 3/4 of the way through this drama, and she's got almost nothing. That causes me to feel like she's been shortchanged, and that her relationship with the other characters (especially Min Joon) is built on a foundation of sand. They told us abt her background, but they didn't show it, which kinda invalidates her relationships w/ other characters, because she's barely a character by herself. That's not to say that she doesn't have personality, but we don't understand her on her own, we can only access her thoughts when she's with the two male leads, or doing smth for them, etc.

She can't have a romantic relationship with someone else if the audience doesn't know who she is on her own. (Kinda like how, in real life, you have to know who you are and love yourself before you can love someone else.) That's why her and Min Joon's relationship feels so insincere, because in it she's basically just Min Joon's love interest. As you can tell, I'm a lil salty.

And on top of all that, Min Joon and Kang Woo have such promise as a couple!!!!! Kang Woo choked Min Joon up against a wall. (parallels to the Devil Judge) They were living together. For God's sake, Min Joon cooked Kang Woo a thank-you meal for caring enough about him to check on him when he was in trouble, for saving his life. How Min Joon looked so crushed when Kang Woo told him they weren't living together! And I can't even read any fanfics about it, since there's literally only 3 fanfics for their pairing on ao3! And none of them are written the way I think the characters should be written. So I may have to write a fanfic for them myself, since I need them to kiss.

For my ask, I request a few words of comfort involving Min Joon and Kang Woo. I would ask for a short lil drabble where they're happy together, but if that isn't smth you want to do, just pretend I never asked. Just say "They kissed and lived happily ever after. The end." Those words from you would bring me great happiness in my time of sorrow.

Ever your faithful reader,

Sofapup

(P.S. And btw 39 of WHTD was heartwrenching and I loved it sm and I cried why do you do this to me)

I'm sorry this took a little longer to answer than usual but when I got this ask, you were actually ahead of me in the drama since I've been putting it off for so long x'D So I had to wait until I had also finished episode 12, just in case there was some important information there that might influence my reply.

Also, I want to point out that I never actually told anyone to watch Mad Dog since I still haven't finished it myself. So you only have yourself to blame, my friend ;)

ANYHOW. Your feelings about Ha Ri mirror my own. She is done SO dirty. I was SO EXCITED when she first showed up because it seemed like she was going to be a really interesting character, but, pretty soon, I realised how wrong I was. I agree that they've given her almost no backstory whatsoever and so nothing she says or does feels truly anchored in anything. And she fluctuates wildly between confident badass and flustered damsel in distress in a way that's genuinely baffling to me.

Like, in episode 12 when she got chased into a dead-end by the baddie and everyone was freaking out — including her. But, like, my dudes. Did you all forget how she literally parkoured her way down a three-story building in episode 1? Her ability to climb and acrobat her way out of trouble has been firmly established. But now she can't even climb the pile of rubble in front of the one-story house she's caught next to? What the actual fuck is going on?

I am FURIOUS on her behalf.

And that is actually one of the reasons why I'm having trouble getting through this drama. That and the general inconsistent characterisation (not just Ha Ri), plus the shoehorned flirting. The general plot and setup of the drama are fine and I like quite a lot the characters and their relationships, but it's also forcing a lot of confusing and contradicting information in my face in a way that instantly makes my hackles rise. It feels almost clumsily unprofessional?

Like, don't get me wrong — I'm still enjoying most of this drama and I'm pretty sure I'll finish it — but dear LORD is the characterisation bad in some cases. At this point, I think I can say I'm pretty good at characters without that being taken as bragging, yeah? I have a pretty easy time pinning down their personalities, behaviour etc. etc. And when I can't it's usually a bad sign because, nine times out of ten, that means your characters are inconsistent. Either because the writer doesn't have a clear picture of who they are, or because they keep making the characters do things they usually wouldn't because they want to advance the plot (poor Ha Ri suffers from both, I'm afraid to say).

That's not to say that a character has to be predictable. Kang Yo Han is a good example of a character who was unpredictable enough that I couldn't say for sure I understood him until I had watched the whole thing. I needed all the information before I could form a clear picture. But, even then, he was consistent in his characterisation throughout the entire drama. To be honest, he's one of the most consistent characters I've ever seen, especially since, even on a rewatch, his actions don't change. You understand his motivations better, sure, but his actions are exactly the same and that, right there, is something I am in awe of. Even the impulsivity, recklessness, viciousness, sudden swings in direction — all of it was consistent in the end because his core personality and values were. Kang Yo Han is a marvellous character from a craft perspective.

But in Mad Dog? Shit's all over the place for the majority of the characters. The most solid ones are the bad guys since their core personality trait is "hilariously evil." Which might not be a very nuanced personality, but at least it's consistent. Almost everyone else has been forced to be out of character for convenient plot purposes at some point.

And the worst crimes by far are committed against Ha Ri and Min Joon in order to force their romance. Now, don't get me wrong — I LOVE romance and the actors have some pretty nice chemistry — but none of it really fits. Not with the rest of the story, the pacing of the rest of the story, the (small amount of) backstory we get for the two of them, the tone of the rest of the story, or the initial characterisation we were given. It feels like a literal case of "here is a male and a female of roughly the same age and now we need to make them kiss because heteronormativity" with no thought to how to actually make it believable. So they cram in cutesy and supposedly romantic scenes (often with Min Joon feeling a really confusing need to protect Ha Ri? Even if she could literally kick his ass? But because she's a woman he has to I guess?) that either happen out of the blue or just way too early in their relationship for it to be believable and it just annoys me so much.

I swear, after the car explosion thing in... can't remember the episode. But Kang Woo drags Min Joon out of the burning car, yeah? And Ha Ri shows up and FOR SOME GODDAMN REASON pulls the unconscious and clearly injured Min Joon into her arms? Ma'am. Girlfriend. Bestie. He's got a bleeding head injury — possibly also a neck injury. Maybe don't move him more than necessary? Also, isn't he a conman? As in, the type of person you claim to hate most because of your tragic past? Why are you suddenly pulling him into your arms like he's your injured boyfriend? He was fine just lying on the ground, I promise. This really isn't necessary.

And THEN you find out it's because she needed to get blood on her jacket so that Min Joon could get worried and ask her about it when he was at the hospital later and she could tell him she was fine because it was all his but ooooh loooook, he caaaares about her! Isn't that cuuuuuute?

Someone please put me out of my misery.

I legit had to pause the episode and just stare out into space for a couple of seconds when that happened because that's just SUCH TERRIBLE WRITING. I can do better than that and writing isn't even my job! It made NO sense for her to act the way she did and it honestly just made her look stupid. All for a clumsy attempt at furthering her romance with Min Joon? I am FUMING.

(Is the script forcing you to be stupid, Ha Ri? Blink twice if you need me to come save you)

And the forced romance between Ha Ri and Min Joon is only made more hilarious by how effortless his connection is with Kang Woo. It's more consistent with their characters, consistent with the overall pacing, and genuinely more interesting. And it just baffles me how completely off the mark the writer was since Kang Woo is getting all the important emotional scenes with Min Joon, not Ha Ri.

Like, the scenes where Min Joon is vulnerable and talking about his childhood and dead brother? Which would be great in order to build trust between him and Ha Ri? He's having all of those scenes with Kang Woo. Which I don't mind, of course (it's HILARIOUSLY gay) but that just proves that the romance between Min Joon and Ha Ri was an afterthought and the build-up of it was just slapped on without much thought to the characters. It's romance for the romance's sake. Because the actual building of a relationship, sharing of emotions, of grief and painful memories? Min Joon doesn't do that nearly enough with Ha Ri to make the romance stick, especially due to the aforementioned problem with her having too little backstory and firm ground to stand on. He honestly has more connection, more in common, AND more chemistry with Kang Woo.

So, long story short, I feel your pain. Ha Ri is being treated so, so unfairly and it makes me so angry. But, on the other hand, I find the gay romance brewing between Kang Woo and Min Joon absolutely amazing. And, to my surprise, I might just have to retract my earlier statement about the writer not having any idea about how gay this is. Because I actually went to check who the screenwriter was and turns out it's the same woman who worked on Beyond Evil. Which I have not seen but reports tell me it's hella gay. So, tbh, the gay might not be as unintentional as I first thought?

Like, I obviously don't know this woman but it would be HILARIOUS if she's just sneaking gay shit into her shows and subtly sabotaging the straight romances by making them this shitty. I know we're reaching conspiracy theory levels here but I would definitely do that if I were her.

Thank you for your service, ma'am.

(Too bad you write such shitty female characters, at least in this drama)

Anyway. I'm genuinely confused by the tone of Mad Dog because they play it very straight (pun intended). I mean, looking at The Devil Judge I think it's pretty clear that there's a cheeky little undertone of "we know what we're doing but we're not going to say outright what it is — if you know, you know ;)" But in Mad Dog? They don't even really address the fact that Kang Woo and Min Joon have all the deep, emotional scenes while Min Joon and Ha Ri only get cringey and clumsy "romantic" scenes. But Min Joon and Ha Ri is the endgame?

While Kang Woo is probably meant to become a substitute older brother to Min Joon or something? But I really question why they had that whole "whoops, Min Joon accidentally impersonated Kang Woo's wife there for a second" plotline in that case. Man, I was laughing so hard x'D Like, Kang Woo outright says that Min Joon is the first person to cook for him and share a meal with him in that apartment since his wife died.

Sir. I... don't think you realise how unintentionally gay that sounds.

(But maybe your writer does. I'm keeping my eyes on you, ma'am)

Because if Min Joon had been a woman? That admission would have been taken as a hint of something romantic possibly brewing between them. Not necessarily that Min Joon was taking Kang Woo's wife's place, but stepping up as the next candidate, at the very least. And I find that absolutely HILARIOUS.

Okay, this is getting really, really long. As you can see, I also have A LOT of thoughts on Mad Dog x'D But also, as mentioned, I haven't finished it yet and if I ever were to write anything (which I honestly can't promise since it depends on how the drama ends and what my (already packed) schedule looks like) it wouldn't be able to until I have. But trust me when I say that I am quite intrigued to see where this goes — even if it means I have to suffer through the shoehorned flirting between Min Joon and Ha Ri.

(For the record, I am ANNOYED by how much I dislike those scenes. I WANT to like their romance! But it just feels so, so incredibly clumsy and forced and I, unfortunately, have standards. So it's a no from me so far)

Also, fun fact: I started Mad Dog as a palette cleanser after a lot of gay romance dramas, wanting something different. And, I mean, a story about life insurance fraud can't be gay, can it? So I went in with the best and purest intentions.

But then I started watching and somewhere around the point where Kang Woo slams Min Joon up against a wall for the first time I just put my head in my hands. Because I could see where this was going.

And then I made the mistake of looking up the poster for the drama and, I swear, I was beginning to have war flashbacks.

That's not gay at all.

And this isn't even the first time this has happened to me

Or even the second, third, fourth, or fifth. I think I'm up to seven or something? At this point, there's a joke amongst my friends that I have a gaydar meant specifically to locate gay dramas that aren't actually gay dramas — especially when I'm not actually looking for them.

It's a weird superpower to have, but there you go.

ANYHOW. Yes. Good luck with finishing this drama, I guess? I'll try to do the same but, considering my current pace, I can't say when I will. It's a bit of a drag sometimes, not going to lie. But I do like the plot and characters enough to want to see through to the end.

Also, I'm so glad you liked chapter 39 of Who Holds the Devil! Thank you! Now take care, darling 💜

[mytragedyperson]

I don't think you understand how important it is to me that Kageyama, Atsumu, Sakusa, Komori, and Korai be friends. Every time I see Sakusa and Atsumu in toxic Hinata harem, part of me gets sad. Hinata has so many friends, and if it's fluff I don't mind. But can we please just let Kageyama have frends, particularly in people not in Karasuno. The boy needs more friends. I promise the world won't end if Atsumu and Sakusa like and are friendly to both Hinata and Kageyama.

Also, I don't really like toxic Hinata harem anyway. There's like one person that's done it in a way I like. Also Hinata would not stand for that shit. If anyone picks on Kageyama, he will not be friends with him. That's his best friend, his platonic soulmate (or romantic if you prefer). Also I once saw someone do it where the Hinata harem literally run Kageyama over and then, after Hinata got mad at them for it, they apologised and I'm pretty sure he forgave them. Look, I'm gonna take my own advice and avoid this, and if you enjoy reading or writing this, that's great. But idk, there's something weird about the way they just brush off their treatment of Kageyama in the end. Like they get yelled at by Hinata once and that's deemed punishment enough. No, Tsukishima you're going to jail'

Maybe it's because I prefer Kageyama. Anyway, main point, please let Kageyama have friends that aren't Hinata. I promise the world won't end. On that note, Kageyama friendship centric fanfiction recs? please? I don't care about romantic ships but please, I need to see Kageyama have good friends.

Also Kageyama does have another friend at training camp, the guy he sits with at lunch but I can't remember his name, but he should be in the squad too. And Ushijima because manga panels, and also just two blunt socially awkward people

I'm not tagging Hinata harem but if you see this anyway, no hate to Hinata or the canon versions of these characters. and I mean no hurt with my comments about the fanfics. It's just not my personal sup of tea

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

Oh shut the fuck up October 28th 2019 was the day all your disability activist friends reblogged posts vowing to instantly block anyone who put anything to do with the series on their dashboard and you would go into the main tags to get away from that and there would be a million suicide baitors and harassment campaigns and endless whining about the shows existence and people calling for Medrano's immediate death waiting for you and when it was the A24 greenlight announcement it was the same thing only calling for her to be fired, and when Jamie Lee Curtis did her shout out tweet and then at least one 21 year old tenderqueer with an @ about how they want to fuck slasher villains would be in her replies trying to talk down to and harass Jamie and then people you thought were your friends start harassing you for posting one Hazbin sketch in an adult queer server because they don't like it and you'll be banned if you post about it again, and you try to start telling them what happened to even Jamie for talking about it, just to prove a point, and then suddenly it's "I don't care what Jamie Lee Curtis has to say" even though all they had to do to see how volatile the topic was, was to just look and all the deleted threads and arguments taking place below the actual tweet to know the actual tweet wasn't the point, and you were all so happy be discussing Ryan Murphy's Scream Queens and Everything Everywhere All At Once sometime before that. And then all your queer adult friends end up banning you for "bullying".

Yeah, I'm saying nothings been the same since 2019 when the pilot came out, have you been living under a rock or what? Things are just as fucked now as they were then, if not more so.

And OP can shut the fuck up about radiodust too. The only thing they have half a point about is charlastor and that's only because of what also happened on Viv's birthday.

But most recently, it's been obnoxious sex repulsed aroace nerd prudes who say shit like "lads" and "friendo" enjoying getting a sense of popularity and power and ownership over a certain character in the fandom enough to go mad and start bullying not only allos but questioning aro/ace people as well as aro/ace children (who shouldn't even be in the fandom) for wanting to possibility maybe smooch The Radio Demon on the lips or liking the fact he actually has his own Valentines merch or just wanting him to have any kind of romantic merch at all or just pointing out the fact that he's sexy because he is objectively Sexy.

Jesus Fucking Christ ...

[grayintogreen]

Pinned Post 3: The Threequel

New year, new pinned post.

My blog contains multitudes. Main fandoms right now are Critical Role, Dimension 20, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, and Bleach, but I will also go unhinged and start reblogging stuff from things like Inuyasha/Yashahime, Pokemon, Steven Universe, Gravity Falls, Yellowjackets, Guardians of the Galaxy, LOST, Alias, and Wicked. Maybe I even have opinions on them. They're generally positive.

This is a chill blog. If you want negative opinions/critical opinions, go elsewhere. For the most part. If something makes me mad enough to even rant about it a LITTLE BIT, then it definitely fucked up somewhere, but I try really hard to not be a little hater on main.

I'm a multishipper who does not care what you ship, just don't be a little dick about it. I won't come to your house if I don't like your ship. You don't have to come to mine.

I love redemption arcs and people figuring out their shit and turning over a new leaf. This is a theme you will see a lot in my writing.

I also like body horror, dark themes, and weirdly? Happy endings. But I also like tragedies. I just love stories, guys. All stories are valid.

I work in retail management for a popular chain and knowing that gives you full perspective on how done with all petty bullshit I am. I'm also very old, very autistic, and very tired.

I write A LOT. My AO3 is also grayintogreen.

I talk A LOT about my writing and fics, especially my two big series life in the margins of redemption (LitMoR) and red roses and dead things (Roseverse). It's a sickness. More information below.

life in the margins of redemption: a For Want of a Nail Critical Role Campaign Two Canon Divergent series, is a duology (with additional side stories) that takes the alternate path outlined in the Harvest’s Close session notes- Cree rescuing the Nein from the Gentleman’s wrath should they betray him- and takes it a step further with Cree reviving Molly on the Glory Run Road and traveling with the Nein in the hopes of finding a way to bring Lucien back. It is extremely Canon Divergent, but does feature CR2 plots under radically different circumstances and with additional characters. It’s worldbuilding heavy, character-driven, often dark, but has a guaranteed happy ending. You may heard of it as “that 1.5 million word fanfic series.”

It is not canon compliant with TNEOL as I had finished OUADYA before TNEOL came out. While I use some elements from the novel, the backstory presented for Lucien and the Tombtakers in the series is entirely different.

character sheet.

tumblr tag.

LitMoR Vibes (vibe tag)

Voice Claims

red roses and dead things: A canon divergent (sensing a pattern here) AU of Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss that goes AU after Hazbin Hotel 1x06: Welcome to Heaven and Helluva Boss 2x10: Ghostfuckers. It is an ensemble series that focuses on the conflict between Heaven and Hell and the sordid history therein, Alastor's deal, various interpersonal drama, and Charlie growing into her power as a leader.

character sheet.

tumblr tag

this too is Roseverse (vibe tag #1)

Roseverse vibes (vibe tag #2)

Voice Claims

[lost-and-ephemeral]

Series: In Her Shadow, pt.2 (ft. main trio)

Part 1 | Part 2

Slowly but surely she replaced you in his heart.

Pairing: Xavier x reader, Zayne x reader, Rafayel x reader (seperate)

Tags: angst, hurt no comfort, reader is not MC, breakup

A/N: I recieved a lot of comments and request asking me to continue, so here we are! I've tried my best. Ty everyone, I appreciate every message, even if it would be hard to mention every single one of them in this post. Also, if you want to be tagged in future fics, let me know!

-`♡´- MASTERLIST -`♡´- 

Rafayel

You began to notice that Rafayel was spending less and less time with you, choosing his bodyguard over you.

It wasn't obvious at first, yeah, but as time went on, everything became so noticeable that you couldn't ignore it anymore. Especially when he forgot about your plans with him and didn't even consider apologizing for it.

The smell of someone else's perfume in his studio, the way Rafayel would leave you at home and take her to all the important events because "you probably don't like spending time among journalists and annoying guests." It seems that he didn't even notice the moment when you were completely estranged from each other.

And all your attempts to talk to him about it ended with nothing.

"She's my bodyguard," he'd say. "No wonder I take her everywhere I go. Is there anything wrong with that?"

Yes, a lot of things were wrong.

But he was completely unwilling to notice it, and you were tired of collecting the shards of your broken heart from the floor day after day. Those warm feelings that brought a sense of lightness and happiness in your heart suddenly turned into pure torture.

You had to end it all, even if it'll hurt so much.

When you arrived at his studio this morning, you came face to face with "Ms. Bodyguard" herself. She was just about to leave, and didn't even hesitate to embrace your beloved. Right in front of you.

Maybe you would've exploded from all these negative emotions, if you had any strength left to be mad or to cry. But there was only emptiness in your heart.

You became strangers to each other.

"I'm breaking up with you," you said without any regret and pushed him away as he tried to hug you. "I don't want to be a second choice after your precious bodyguard."

"W-wait, why? What... But I didn't do anything!" he replied confused, apparently not realizing how much he's been hurting you all this time.

"Maybe that's the point. That you'd do anything for her, but not for me."

He looked at you with the same confusion in his eyes, trying to figure out if it was a joke, but you continued before leaving this place forever.

"You were everything to me, Rafayel. But for you, I was just a small episode of your life. I'm tired. You've been spending all your free time with her, like I didn't exist. It'll be better this way. Goodbye."

No matter how long he was calling your name, asking you to stop, to come back and talk with him, you didn't.

Zayne

Loving a cardiac surgeon with his busy schedule is hard.

But it's even harder when he no longer cares about your existence and spends a significant amount of time with his childhood friend.

After Zayne forgot about your reservation at the restaurant, making you feel like you were the last fool in this world, some more time has passed.

Yeah, he apologized. No, he didn't start spending less time with his "friend".

It's hard to count how many evenings you spent alone when he stayed late at work for her or was invited to a "friendly" dinner with her. But it happened often enough so finally your love turned into suffering.

At first you tried to convince yourself that you're too jealous and he's just happy to finally reunite with someone close to him from his youth. You care about your friends too, don't you?

But it only got worse.

All your plans were constantly adjusted to his friend's wishes. She wants to take him to a cafe at the same time you were planning to go to the cinema? "Sorry, love, let's reschedule our date for another day". You've made him his favorite dinner? Too bad, his friend already brought him dinner at work and he's not hungry.

Eventually you started feeling like he stopped enjoying your time together and just continued to exist in the same apartment with you out of habit.

Talking didn't get you anywhere, because Zayne didn't notice how much he was hurting you (or he simply didn't want to notice it) with his actions and only distanced himself from you even more.

At some point you felt like he put an ice wall around himself again.

He stayed late again this evening, completely forgetting his promise to spend time with you. You packed your things with tears in your eyes, ready to say goodbye to life with Zayne once and for all.

And he showed up at the doorstep of his apartment just as you were ready to leave.

"What's going on?" his voice didn't betray a shred of emotion. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to leave you and your lovely friend together so I don't have to be an unwanted addition to your life."

Zayne was taken aback at this statement and was about to say something, but you interrupted him.

"You were the one who brought happiness and comfort into my life. You were the one who made me feel loved and wanted. But now I realize that I wasn't good enough for you. Goodbye."

You walked away and closed the door behind you, leaving him all alone.

Xavier

Before, you without a doubt would've said that your relationship with Xavier was the ultimate dream.

But now it wasn't actually true.

Yes, your beloved still showed care and attention every spare minute he had. Just not to you. It seemed as if his colleague started to occupy his every thought.

During dinner, on a walk, after missions. He was always talking about her, how strong she is, and how lucky he is that she chose him as her partner. His eyes were shining with delight you had never seen before.

You were happy for him, but only until it crossed the line. Only until you started to feel like he was in love with her, not with you.

One day you found yourself completely miserable. Xavier texted you that he would be late because they had "decided to celebrate another successful mission". Except that you were usually the one he shared his joy with. But things have changed.

Even though you were the brightest star in his world, you were inevitably lost behind the glow of the Moon.

You were trying to be better, to be more interesting. Trying to reach an unattainable ideal. But you couldn't. After all, maybe you were never meant to be together if it turned out like this. Maybe you weren't enough for him.

You couldn't remember the last day you didn't cry. Sometimes alone, sometimes locking yourself in the bathroom after another conversation about this "super-strong collegue". But Xavier didn't seem to notice it at all.

"I thought maybe you'd be interested to know what happens during missions," he said when you brought up this painful topic.

And, yes, you were interested. But all you heard was, "She took down that Wanderer so easily, I couldn't take my eyes off her." Or, "she's so good with her weapon, it's amazing."

He distanced himself from you so much that you hardly spent any time together.

He wasn't even home the day you left.

Xavier sent you a message saying he'd be late again. As usual, with her. Even though he promised to have a movie night and you had already prepared everything you needed for it.

Maybe it's even better if you don't see the look in his eyes the moment you tell him you're breaking up with him. You packed your things and left a note on the table, next to the snacks you bought.

"Maybe in another universe I would be worthy of you so you could look at me with the same adoration. I can see that you enjoy spending time with her much more. And we should break up so you don't torment my heart anymore. Goodbye."

You glanced around his apartment one last time before leaving it forever.

♡ tags: @skyowlz @prettytemis @aishasreality @randompersonwhoexist @kreishin @reni502 @moonyzstarz @chin-chii

[omarandjohnny]

SHIPPY SHIP SHIP!

Tagged by @negrowhat <333333333333333333333333333333

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

I didn't really have a fixed ship to hang my hat on in those days (aka the before the internet tiemz), but Buffy and Pike (movie BTVS) were the main couple I fixated on back then (still was figuring out why movie Lestat and Louis made me feel funny in my tummy at that time, so Buffy and Pike were the easier option LOL)

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Roz and Dan from Night Court; I was 7 and I wanted them married and arguing until the end of time <3

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

(hops in the wayback machine) Pretty sure I was writing for Greg/Nick (CSI) just a bit before Ennis/Jack (Brokeback). Still so very thankful that those four introduced me to friends I'd still have in my life 20 years later!

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

I very clearly remember the Spangel fanvids that took more than day to download from our AOL dialup, yes XD

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

Attempting to nail jello to a tree would be a far more productive use of my time.

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

Can't say anything comes to mind, really.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

Had to go through my AO3 history, last time I had a clear enough head to attempt to read anything was early autumn last year (oof) and it was a modern AU of Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang that I don't think I finished because I really can't recall any of it. Ah, well.

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

Since I can't engage in fic it's hard for me to keep hold of the newer ships, so my brain tends to fall back on old reliables- Loustat/Loumand being at the top at this very moment because the fandom's waking up again for season 2 in May.

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

Another one that I can't think of anything.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

Not Really, if I hated them then I'm sure I still hate them now. (keeping your answer here, Eboni, because same)

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

I'd be cancelled over any ship at any time for anything, such is the nature of this goofball puritanical mindset that has taken over fandom socmed. (I know the problem reaches so much further than that, but I'm not clearheaded enough to write a dissertation LOL)

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

Can't say I've ever had one.

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

20+ years ago I was slowly killing copious amounts of trees and our at-home printer with Spangel fics that I didn't want to lose (have since lost all of the printouts, and the fics are still online in their respective webrings, yikes) So yeah, Spangel would probably still win. Ennis/Jack, and Wangxian would round out the top three, I'm sure.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

Bastard-coated bastards, pastel/goth, grumpy/sunshine.

15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

Drawing a blank here. Though, I will have a harder time engaging if the source material is mainly written in 1st person POV, which is why I'd be considered a fake Vampire Chronicles fan XD (forever thankful for my friends that actually read the books and school me on what I don't know)

[big-cheesy-productions]

This is my official Veilguard Rant Post

Veilguard makes me so mad and every word coming out of Elper's mouth makes me want to [REDACTED].

I was going to rant in the tags, but screw it. We're doing a read more instead. It gets rambly:

I've criticized Inquisition to the moon and back. There's plenty wrong with it. There was an obvious shift into Canadian moderate status-quo handling of sensitive issues (ie making mages whiny and entitled rather than violently oppressed.) but there was enough love for the lore and the characters and there was potential there for me to love it too.

Inquisition was my first DA game. I wasn't there for the backlash after each game came out, whether bad-faith, bigoted, or honest criticism. I know Veilguard is getting that bad-faith and bigoted criticism. That doesn't invalidated the legitimate criticisms genuine fans have for this game.

I cannot defend Veilguard. I cannot bring myself to play it. I cannot "shut my brain off" to play. Every time I think I might, even if it went on sale for $2, I just think about the decision to remove past choices. And the choices they included meaning jackshit. I think about how they "wanted to make the game accessible to new players" but are constantly referencing the past games and characters (in an effort to win back old players I think??? but there are worldstates where these characters could be dead so it's just alienating???) Every time I try to understand this choice, I can't. I can't find any explanation that makes sense. And other fans really had the gall to talk down to other fans who were upset by this. Like, yeah. We're upset our choices don't matter in the "You're Choices Matter" game.

I'm so done with this studios and their utter contempt for their black characters. Vivienne, Wyll, Davrin, y'all deserved so much better, from the studio and fans alike. I cannot take a game seriously that values the cute griffon pet over the black man.

I'm upset about the portrayal of the Inquisitor too, especially romanced. I was upset that Hawke suddenly became so against blood magic in Inquisition to fit the narrative, but Hawke was a much more established character, that they at least felt pretty consistent otherwise. Who is this Lavellan fawning after Solas, saying they'd leave the world behind just to be with him? Not mine!

(I understand these are my own headcanons and I can't be mad at the game for not matching that. But this is my rant post. And I'm ranting. The Veil should have come down.)

The Inquisitor should have been the main character. They should have. I don't care. It makes no sense to make a direct sequel to a game into a soft reboot for the series. It's disjointed. It's doomed to not work. You're burning everyone who plays it.

The disdain and lack of understanding Elper has for Solas, their biggest character, their main antagonist, the character the entire serious has been building up for since day 1, I just... I fucking can't. Maybe you don't make your creative director someone who doesn't understand the fucking story?

Call me a hater. Call me whatever because I haven't even played the game. I've tried watching cutscenes and I just get so mad. Nothing about it appeals to me.

At the end of the day, I was so excited for this game. I love Dragon Age. I was satisfied just knowing Veilguard was a real game and was going to come out. And now I'm just so disappointed. I'm sad I can't enjoy it. I love that the people I follow love it and are enjoying it. I wish I could too!

I've put a lot of time and effort and art and thought and love into this series. And I feel like the Devs hate me. So I'm done.

EDIT: OH! I almost forgot! They didn't. fucking. educate. Their new writers on the lore of the games. So they really were just making shit up saying who gives a fuck I'm-

EDIT 2: ALSO ALSO! NOT EVERY PIECE OF LORE NEEDS TO BE CONNECTED! That's bad writing! I love Solas but I'm sick of him being at the center of everything! I'm sick of everything being the elves! And I love the elves! Illuminati across the seas controlling everything!!!??? What??!?

[earthtodora]

you’re not getting what I find icky. you can write a thousand bottom yuuji fics and zero bottom megumi fics and I wouldn’t care but what I hate about fixed shippers is when they turn that shit into a competition and start making the fandom space toxic. Just entertaining the whole ao3 tags or numbers showed me that you clearly care about your preference being the dominant one and that’s just… sorry it’s not as simple as it seems because fixed shippers rarely ever act sane when it comes to these things sorry if that bothered you.

bruh i literally never ever posted anything about my preferences besides answering two asks. it would have never even come up if people didn't mention it, why is this such a big deal?

i think you're the one misunderstanding me here, and judging and/or assuming shit based on 2 asks i answered. if you have read any of my fics besides the two smut stories in question, you should know that the main themes when writing itfs are mutual respect, emotional connection and vulnerability on both sides. my activity on tumblr also doesn't show me posting about my preference at all. the first time i ever mentioned it was during this discourse, because someone brought it up. i think i've made myself clear on my stance.

i don't appreciate the fact that you're projecting your issues with fixed shippers onto me. i'm a writer, i post content on the internet for people to read. i never ever attacked anyone and never ever judged anyone based on their preferences. i don't have a problem with writing both ways. you're getting mad at me for entertaining a conversation with an anon? why is that wrong?

if i (correctly or not, that's up to debate) assume that fushiita is a minority and i say hey well i aim to change that and provide more content, it doesn't mean i'm "caring about my preference being the dominant one". it just means, i sometimes feel like there aren't enough fushiita fics in existence, so i want to contribute. it's not like i'm going on a mission to get everyone else to think the way i do.

it's a shame you see this as a competition when that is really not the case. the reason most of my fics don't even contain smut is because i like exploring characters, their dynamics and the emotional aspects of a relationship. not every story has to end with a fuck session.

so no, i don't feel like i should be "more clear about being a fixed shipper", as it has nothing to do with my presence in this fandom or the things i write. and no, i won't apologize for engaging in a conversation and answering anons, that's the point of asks, isn't it?

and i have absolutely no problem with you unfollowing me for something like this, i just don't get why you felt the need to let me know, especially in such a passive-aggressive way.