#< UNFORTUNATE bc it wasnt meant to be that. sad!!!!!!

[thedevotionaltour]

i reblogged that funny post but unfortunately i Do have a fear of intimacy </3 don't be close 2 me it makes me SCARED bc i think everyone ever will eventually hate me bc I Have A Problem (life long anxiety disorder) so stay at a beautifully shallowly arms length close instead where it feels close but i am instead very far away so i can feel safe in my brain.

[carpedzem]

hi

under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think

i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place

i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me

about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:

i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution

i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting

you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people

edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims

twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst

okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more

now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)

in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock

im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha

on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you

see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk

and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger

[rey-jake-therapist]

i have to admit, i haven't been reading all of ur answers to the anons bc i dont want to give myself much hope 😭 but i have noticed that you've been talking about elrond kiss and have to share my thoughts. first of all, i do not believe it was sauron cosplaying. i think maybe they were testing the waters to see if they could dismiss the lorists (maybe even for haladriel, as i don't believe they were going to take this kiss any further) and i'm nervous that their takeaway from this backlash will be that they should cater to the lorists.

however, i was wondering, so the kiss was meant to be a very absolute farewell. wouldn't it be a weak narrative development to have them reunite so soon after such dramatic, over-the-top goodbye?

unfortunately, i still believe that haladriel split again at the end of s2. but this thought about a feeling of finality in e/g separation was too emphasized for them to just reunite after the battle. idk, maybe i'm reading too much into it.

I have truly no idea why they did such a thing. Including such a scene for shock value, only to "test the water" seems to be a very, very poor narrative choice to me.

A scene has to mean something in universe. Elrond kissing Galadriel on the mouth, even in a "deception trope", doesn't mean anything in universe, because of the way it was filmed : we don't see Adar and the Orcs reacting to this kiss. I mean, we see Adar react afterwards as if he was going to vomit in his mouth (a sentiment I shared when I watched the kiss the first time!! Nevermind that the scene was emotional and the kiss was good, it's Elrond damnit), but we don't see him or the Orcs looking at them kissing. If the point was to say, "Elrond wants to distract them by making them looking at their faces and not their hands," why focusing so much on the kiss and not on those who were watching?

The fact that they chose to film the scene the way they did, with a very romantic set up and background music, seems to indicate that they did only for shock value, and were more interested in the audience's reaction than in telling a good story. It's sad, if it's the case. And as if it wasnt enougn, they doubled down on their decision by forcing Morfydd to tease the kiss... Like, what were they hoping to achieve?

That said, I'm also not convinced that it was Sauron cosplaying even if it would explain certain things that are wrong with episode 7, like Gil-Galad's sudden disappearance from the battlefield and his absence at the negociations with Adar, Sauron's weird reaction to what he read on the dead body sent by Adar to Eregion, and the fact that he wasn't seen reacting to Galadriel's presence and emprisonment by Adar; regarding this last point though, it's possible he simply believes her to be with the Elvish army. We as the audience tend to forget that the characters don't all know what we know, even if they are powerful evil sorcerers ;)

And indeed, you're right, if Elrond and Galadriel reunite it makes the kiss and the emotion it conveys almost meaningless. But if we're being honest, it would not be the first time they would do something like that : Nori and Poppy had a very emotional goodbye scene in season 1, only for them to reunite very quickly in season 2. It made their heartbreaking separation fall flat. But at least, in this case, the writers may have the excuse that they didn't plan to have them reunite in season 2 when they filmed the goodbye scene in season 1.

[tojisun]

(sorry from a hockey noob) can you explain the hughes post you reblogged? it feels angsty but i dont know enough about hockey to get it:,(

hii of course :3 and u dont have to say sorry my love :((

i think all of the photos used in this edit were from game 7 of canucks vs oilers in may 20th. the canucks lost then, and thus were eliminated from the playoffs; they didnt advance to the semis

the lyrics match the legacy of the canucks who had such a bad run in the previous seasons and had surprised everyone this season with such an amazing performance. their coach even said, “[canucks] put respect back in that jersey and in this city.”

that said, they still lost, thus the edit 🥹

too much rambling under the cut so u can honestly ignore this

the lyrics used are particularly fitting bc of canucks’ recent history (specifically post-2011). they went from a powerhouse (still with off-moments, of course) to a struggling team (dramatic decrease in chances of advancing). there were so many shuffling and trading between players and staff, and canucks was quite literally burning for a while. thats not to say that there are no good players because there are, but the team struggled so much

come 2023-2024 season with quinn hughes (#43) as the captain. (just as a background: he is the 15th captain of the canucks, the youngest active captain so far, and the first defenceman to be the captain in decades. he’s also the first american-born captain of canucks.)

after three consecutive seasons where they failed in making it to the playoffs, hockey and canucks fans had no high expectations this season for canucks. that doesn’t mean no one watches them, but it wasn’t as fervid. then they finished first in the pacific division, advancing in the playoffs

and not just advancing, but it meant they were the highest to be qualified to advance. it was big. i remember coming back home from work, hearing actual celebrations by rogers arena bc honest to god no one expected this turn of events, especially after such tough consecutive seasons years prior

then the playoffs games, and i swear this team is cursed somehow. not only one but two of their goaltenders were injured. demko (#35) is their main goaltender but he was injured in a game and had his season ended just like that. desmith (#29) subbed in but this guy also got injured during the season!! so you know what canucks did? they went and grabbed silovs (#31) who was playing most of the 2023-2024 season for abbotsford canucks in the ahl games (kind of the juniors of the nhl) because v.canucks ran out of seasoned goaltenders

(silovs is good. really really good. no shocker there bc he was named the mvp for the worlds championship; it was the first time that latvia won the worlds in first place)

one of their powerful forwards, boeser (#6) was also injured in this season during a clutch moment—he played until game 6 against the oilers but was, unfortunately, too injured to advance to game 7.

despite these piling injuries, canucks’ plays this season was electric. they made miracles happen—often by turning the tides to their favour at the very last minute. it’s how they won against nashville predators and how they had hoped to win against edmonton oilers

but it was not enough so in game 7, may 20th, vancouver canucks lost 3-2. (game 6 was devastating; 1-5). the best of 7 fell to the oilers so they were the ones who advanced

it was honestly so heartbreaking. hughes himself even said that the loss felt so abrupt that he couldnt even think about hockey for a while. it was just sad. boeser even piped in how he was wondering what wouldve changed if he wasnt injured, and that the loss in game 7 felt personal to him. its…

yea

god im so sorry i rambled. im full of little things ik abt this man and this team but all the ppl i talk to know it already so i kinda. exploded on u 😭

hope this, uh, answered ur question

[buckymilf]

you titled your ask "let it out" and thats what im gonna do <3

you are under no obligation to respond to this, of course, i dont want you to get into trouble bc of fandom drama regarding polls

also a disclaimer - i condemn all sort of typical-tumblr-anon-hate behaviour and i always had. i will never get behind *anyone* sending death threats to *anyone* under *no* circumstances.

that being said.

i keep scrolling through the tags and replies on the poll post. wasnt the point of it to celebrate fandom *history*? everything regarding stucky has already been said by other ppl - the impact this ship had - on the fandoms, fanfics. tumblr in 2014 was the stucky site. it trended on twitter in 2016 thus scaring the executives and forcing them to backtrack out of *any* scenes between steve and bucky bc they were so so scared of a gay fanon ship. the ship still has this impact, bc now mcu is pushing ste*gy while using stucky thropes and scenes.

if we are talking about celebrating fandoms history - we have a fanon ship going back over a decade and a one year old canon ship.

and this is the only thing im salty about. i watched [pirates show] and i loved it. i really did. but i dont see how a ship being canon makes it better than fanon, especially in this context.

(also i dont understand ppl saying that stuckies voted against pirates bc "we hate taika" and that we are racist? and all those mentions of stucky being a white ship - are we racist bc both characters are white?)

(on the other hand i missed most of the discourse under the poll post, so maybe this statement is justifiable, i have no idea)

(also, this one person saying that yeah, [pirate ship] is toxic, but what about bucky's war crimes, steves oposition to the accords and them leaving poor tony in syberia - we've been over this so many times... im just gonna leave that like that)

thank you for reading my rant, stay hydrated, dont post it if you dont want to <3

well... today was really something wasn't it?

some shippers are nasty no matter where they're from, some of them don't know how to lose, and some of them clearly don't know how to win, the whole discussion is pointless since it was just a poll, but people hold a fucking grudge somehow, and you're right, there's no point into comparing canon with fanon because that was never the case, stucky was never meant to be canon or something like that

and no! we are not racist for shipping stevebucky instead of *insert interracial ship here* because shipping is NOT activism and it will never be.

those people are just too young to behave properly and don't know how fandom and shipping properly works, so it's just sad and poor behavior of them, no one is hating taika or something like that, i literally didn't saw anyone from our fandom being racist or hating a real actor for a tumblr dead website tumblr poll lmao, some friends of mine on the other side, got real nasty anon asks from that other side,

but I won't blame a whole fandom for it and i have nothing against the show or the ship, the pairing itself seems nice to me and my most dear friends likes them and they're real nice people! unfortunately that's how internet works, some people are real bullies online over... not real people haha

[nicegaai]

having nor/ice thoughtssssssssssssss sad sad whiny kitty cat noises. wahhhh. im thinking about them wahhhhhhhh. WAHHH

what if i took all my small canonverse ideas and compiled them into ONESHOTSSSSS........................................ and what if they were CHRONOLOGICALLY ARRANGED ..... and showed RELATIONSHIP PROGRESSION over the course of 1000 years ...... and it wasnt that deep but i pretended it was and called it something like "i was meant to keep you warm" because i love to steal fox/i/ng lyrics. maybe even id find a way to make this a 5 times + 1 time format.

if i can wrestle my way into figuring out what goes on in nors head i could do it. ive figured that i want ice to never ever see him as a brother. my vision is that nor is iceladns hot babysitter fantasy and first crush that never goes away. he wants to marry him when he grows up but then his feelings stay that way and it never ever ever ever ever goes away and only gets worse. u understand? do u see it

and UNFORTUNATELY nor knows ic/eland likes him from the beginning. he can tell from like ice's adolescence onwards and is like yeah idk about all that...... but the attention is flattering and he loves this little guy so much and thinks its sweet. he doesnt get to visit often but ice writes him a lot because hes in love with him ykwim and nor loves him so much too (platonic) and always writes back.

and yeah they go through periods of living together for various reasons. sickness unions famines etc etc. not ever for long and nothing ever happens. if adolescent iceland pushed boundaries, nor would humor him a little with like...a kiss, bc he spoils him, but ultimately he hard-shuts it down. and ice would be traumatized forever and block the memory out / be eternally tormented at night by the time he did such and such so is the worst person alive etc

and ice begins teen life with the whole he will never love me and i am a tormented soul shtick. now he writes to him less, tries to put more distance between them... so it hurts less and all that. hes not GOOD at pretending he hates nor or whatever but its easy to lose connection when messages are rare and visits are rarer

he spends much more time at denmarks than with no.rway. he sees den.mark as a proper older brother / uncle / fatherly figure. hes closer emotionally to him and lives with him more and all that. his tutors are danish and he goes to boarding school in cop.enhagen in the 1800s. idk how this ties into the romance necessarily but its timeline relevant. whether or not denmark picks up on the crush , i dont know. i could go either way lol. also, den + nors relationship is strictly brotherly btw. ironically. because theres not enough fics where theyre platonic and i really do enjoy them that way too

nor and ice remain distant for several hundred years. its once ice gets into his pushing for independence mixed with modern technology for better communication ..... somewhere between say, the invention of the airplane and landline phones, nor and ice repair their relationship. iceland is coming into adulthood (independence) for real, and is SO mature about his international relationships. he can be so mature and normal about norway. he can sit down with him and have lunch and discuss business and norway wont talk down at him for being young at all (lie) and he'll be so chill about that and not yell at him (he only does it once) (he only has to do it once)

all this isnt to say n.orway himself didnt attempt to stay close over the years, but ic.eland wasnt reciprocating, and even if they saw each other every year at christmas (doubt) that doesnt make them really CLOSE. but i think iceland was always particularly special to him bc of how close they were as kids. and they WERE both kids back then. little icela.nd sent him letters while nor was like 14 at best. i believe in teen mom norway and his eldest sondaughter icey. at least from nors perspective. even tho hes so absent so much of the time. when he comes around he showers him in gifts as a love language even way back when

anyway, ice.land still has an obvious crush on nor and nor finds it SO cute. like he could just pinch his cheeks and coo at him for it. ice tries to keep a lid on his emotions but can only do so much. nor doesnt SAY anything to point sus behavior out. but as soon as he notices,,,, its like there was no time apart, to nor. ice is so closed off and stiff and weird around him and nor wishes he would relax so they can connect properly and he honestly CANT

the solution is to drink otgether i think. at some point. maybe not immediately but they'll get to it.

icela.nd isnt like oohg im too young to drink, i think hes just lived long enough that hes a bit Over It / doesnt want to act like an idiot / really doesnt want to act like an idiot in front of nor. but nor could peer pressure him into anything if he really tried so they finally get tipsy together and i think that goes a long way to repair their relationship.

they do this many times and as long as ice is careful to not drink a lot he'll be fine. hes gotta keep his wits about him and still be able to feel shame. one time he indulges a little hard and i think ice trauma dumps on him and they kiss to make up for the time nor pushed him away and nor didnt realize he was still hurting so much about that. nor is tipsy enough to do it (not even drunk) and afterwards he goes ohh wait i kind of enjoyed that. and do it a few more times then make out for a while and it doesnt go anywhere, they fall asleep

the next day they completely remember kissing and know the other remembers it and just mutually dont talk about it.

icelan.d is VISIBLY struggling even harder around him for at least a few days until he gets a handle on his emotions. and nor has a lot to think about. in general.

i dont know where the dna stuff comes in. im falling asleep while typeing this

but icelan.d obvioiusly is like wtf? we arent related. thats impossible. i cant even fathom this. and nor.way is like you are the closest i will ever have to family and i am your biological father and icel.and is like what the fuck ew you can say brother as much as you want but never say father again im begging you and nor is like Bet.

and then they test and they're first degree related. father or brother would be appropriate. and nor is like yeah obviously (already believed this when he kissed him) and ic.eland is like (max harlow voice) SUICIDE !! SUICIDE !!

icelan.d sits with that information for a while but his crush still doesnt go away. nor gives him space and also sits with the information. he never thought he'd end up here but he decides that hes into it. its kinda hot. I Do believe in slutty n.orway supremacy i thnk hes slept with most of europe and doesnt have a strong internal sense of familial boundaries considering he is a landmass and is like yeah id do that again we're both adults hes cute whatever

next time they see each other nor comes onto him. and ice is squeemish about it but this is also everything hes ever wanted. whats he gonna do, say no?

at this point i fell asleep but im awake again uhhhh

ic.eland gets to cope with being a creep a weirdo and getting what he wanted in the worst way possible and nor gets to torment him with the brother thing not as a kink but bcz it makes him uncomfortable and he thinks its funny.

i forgot to talk about the actual oneshot ideas that inspired this in the first place didnt i. oh well

aaaaaaaaaaaaand post

[imy2]

complaining, longtext

im thinkingg maybe the universe wants me tsm. like ik the world does but the universe...

just ran into an old coworker in the store, awkward - i just walked quickly away from her lol and honestly she seemed like not all there which her daughter(!) once told me she'd struggled w substances in the past so. i hope she's doing really good seriously i Wish i couldve talked to her. we were kinda close when we worked together and i really liked her :(

extra unfortunate bc i seen her daughter like ... 🤔 a year 1/2 - 2 yrs ago .. at where she then worked (then as in.. when i knew her, she didnt work there, but then when i seen her, she did.. she still works there now - so hadda clarify that 'then'...) - sonic, and that interaction went horribly bc ofc! i couldnt talk ugh. then the drink i ordered wasn't available so i said 'u can just refund that pls if its not too hard' and what i meant by that was bc everywhere i worked managers always made a big deal abt refunding money n stuff like that so i was just saying i didnt want her to have to deal w anything annoying 😓 but i rmbr her face n it was so like shocked n confused n she just said 'ok' n turned around n walked away n then i never got refunded the $ so ig she thought i was being rude :( (which ofc makes more sense on her part due to my not talking) her prior job (when i knew her) was working as a cna so ig she thought i was implying that her current job was easier (or rather that her prev job was too hard) idk </3 anyways it was soooo silly and i actually think abt it way too often

now i'll be thinking abt her mom too (which i already did every now n then bc like i said we were friends buuut i mean in the context of an embarrassing encounter). UGH this family is haunting me.....

then smth else happened but honestly wasnt that big of a deal but it made me think abt what is a big deal-that idw to tell the story bc im embarrassed abt it. so silly n sad!

which leads me to. i need to kill shame like i need to. i am so so so tired of shame n embarrassment. mygosh i cant stand the feeling it's so sickening. even this is embarrassing.

i'm actually sm better than i was so thats good. its just gonna be smth thats yk.. constant n long.

also then dk came on otw home n i nearly cried but didnt which is good bc thats unsafe when driving 😮‍💨 but . kinda do wanna cry lol so maybee thatll happen

HOWEVER. seen some pretty christmas lights. thats fun.

[cube-cumb3r]

not to be That c!wilbur sympathizer but I've always kind of hated that c!wilbur technically took jack's canon life on the 16th when he randomly killed him. besides the lack of weight given, it felt significant that for all that wilbur was a terrifying presence and undoubtedly a villain, he could never quite bring himself to actually kill anyone.

not to be That c!tommy sympathizer but i really want to compare it to c!jack's death in exile bc i initially had very very similar thoughts about it. it was given a sort of Assymetrical amount of weight in regards to both streamers, the fact that it ended up being a death seems accidental in-universe (so it was moreso manslaughter rather than murder if that matters) + the fact that it eas a death didn't really Say anything about the character.

but what ended up happening later in tommys arc is the "im worse than everyone i hated", which wouldn't have meant anything if it wasnt true! it would've been empty words! so jack's death, in addition to tommys treatment of connor and fundy, is given Meaning this way. it says something about tommy, he's becoming a horrible person (and he doesnt want to! that's the point!). hence why i nowadays think it does tommys arc a disservice to downplay the atrocities tommy ended up committing when he was at his worst.

and wilbur didnt really... have anything similar to that. jack's death to wilbur doesnt really... mean anything for wilbur, it doesnt say anything about him, in the same way jack's exile death does. it's just. something shitty and unfortunate that happened to jack. it's not given weight, it's not given meaning, and it's not really Intergrated into wilbur's arc. its just sad :(

[babysizedfics]

the first time vee regressed in therapy (and meeting michael after)

NOTE: this is almost 2k words... so it continues under the cut. No TWs!

for the first few sessions of vees therapy with dr picani, patton is in the room with them because of vee's selective mutism, so patton hung around to help translate for vee during seasions until she is able to speak for herself, and thru these firsts sessions emile sees how attached the two are to each other

and after about three or four weeks, once vee can reliably talk for herself, patton stil sits in the waiting room so if vee needs him he's there

im their first session without patton, emile actually prompts vee to tell him what she calls her uncle patton. she says "patton" but emile is like do u not call him uncle? and she hesitates bc she definitely doesnt call him uncle but she hates lying

and emile smiles knowing that she doesnt. then he asks "are there any other names you call your uncle, vee?" because unbeknown to vee, emile actually heard her call patton "dad" one day in the waiting room

she is made rlly nervous by this question but emile assures her he isnt trying to trick her or anything, he just wants her to be honest. and after some more coaxing she whispers that she calls patton "dad" and emile is like thats lovely

and suddenly vee is teary and panicky because shes scared emile is being sacastic or will quiz her about it, but he insists that its very nice that she is comfy calling patton that and that they are so close and it makes vee feel a lot safer

but that prompts emile to start asking her about her biological father, janus. has she ever called him dad or was he always janus? does she know why that is?

vee really tries her best to stay calm and answer, but the questions suddenly get too much and before she knows it virgil goes non-verbal bc she realises she is starting to regress

emile notices vee's distress and changes his voice like softer and more clear. he asks what is wrong, he assures her they dont need to talk about anything vee doesnt want to talk about. Can you breathe with me? Good thank you, can you talk? No thats alright you dont have to. Is there anything he can do to make her feel safe?

and the soft caring words just push vee compeltely into half regression and she starts fully crying, tears spilling down her cheeks and shaky breaths and little squeaks and sniffles and tightly cuddling her softie she took with her (a lilac octopus, dr violet)

after a couple minutes of just crying and emile givinf her some space to let it out, the tears arent slowing down. so she cries " i w-wan pa-p-p-..." giving up after she realises her voice is definitely little now

"what do you want, vee?" emile prompts so so kindly that it just makes vee's chest ache

she whimpers "w-wan papa" and trails off in sobs

and emile instantly knows she means patton. he very easily rolls with this infantile behaviour, being a child therapist a lot of the time. he just sees her acting like a toddler and he immediately thinks okay time to turn on the toddler therapy, no questions asked

emile stands up carefully and speaks clear and gentle "okay vee. dr picani is leaving for just a moment to get your papa, okay? I'll be back very soon" and vee just squeaks through her tears, so he hurries out to the waiting room to fetch patton

pat literally jumps from his seat when emile calls him in saying vee is upset and practically runs through the corridor and into the office. he immediately pulls her into a one armed cuddle on the couch while emile just closes the door rlly gentle for privacy and hands a box of tissues to patton. so patton softly shushes his baby and wipes her tears away while emile takes quick notes in his book

patton is rlly quietly shushing her and comforting her, trying to be discreet. emile notices that this is obviously a common occurence, and also notices that patton seems to be holding back something

so when patton looks up briefly and catches emiles gaze, emile just smiles and speaks softly "do you know what age regression is, patton?"

and patton breathes a massive sigh of relief and hugs vee tighter "yeah... yeah we do"

and emile nods and smiles a little sympathetic looking back at vee and patton jumps right back to comforting her, not trying to be discreet this time, going full papa mode now that he has the confirmation that emile knows about regression

patton lifts a still crying vee into his lap and cuddles her to his chest and rocks her. "its alright, baby, shh shhh, papas got you" (vee still crying and grabbing pattons shirt tightly) "i know i know, baby, youre ok"

then emile adds in softly "youre doing very well vee" and patton smiles at him then repeats for vee "did you hear dr picani? he said youre doing sooo well! youre so so brave, hunnybunny"

and eventually when vee is comforted enough and the tears have stopped, emile raises his eyebrows questioningly at patton and pat talks to vee: "vee, are you ready to talk to dr picani again?"

she whimpers and grips patton tighter. "its okay babygirl, papas not going anywhere..." patton hesitstes and looks up at emile a little worried "uh, as long as thats alright with dr picani"

emile nods and smiles softly when vee peeks over her softie at him "of course. you can do whatever you want vee, if having your dad - or your papa here makes you feel safer then of course he can stay. would you like patton to stay so you can feel safer?"

vee doesnt respond but frowns and hides behind dr violet again, and emile looks to patton

patton explains gently "we need simpler language than that for her when she's regressed."

"oh my apologies..." emile starts, then tries again. "Vee?" he waits for vee to lower her softie from her eyes again to show shes listening. "Do you still want your papa?"

vees shoulders are tensed and shes hugging her softie so tight, still hiding partially behind it, but she nods a little

and so they continue with patton in the room

throughout the session she is REALLY shy of emile in this headspace but emile is just rly gentle and treats her like an actual young child while she sits in pattons lap and tries to interact with him, so emile manages to coax some stuff from her. and is shocked to find that this seems to be a headspace that actuslly allows vee to be more open and honest with him even if her language is limited

he asks her how does she feel right now? its okay if she doesnt know. is she scared? thats okay, it is very scary. she's being so brave. but is papas lap soft and warm? thats very nice! does it make her feel safe? does it help her tears go away? well thats good to hear, we dint want you to be sad. do you love papa? Can you show me how much? Woah that's a lot!!

and once vee has calmed down a lot and giggled a little at how nice dr picani is being to her, emile sees vee start to suck her thumb

unfortunately its not sanitary for her to suck her thumb in oublic since she must have touched surfaces, and pat brings her thumb away and desperately apologizes when vee whines and starts tearing up when papa wont let her suck her thumb. she dorsnt have her pretty paci so what else is she meant to do!

then emile announces in a very babytak voice. "vee, can you guess what I have in my desk drawer? Haha No, not frogs. Look!" and he pulls out a handful of lollipops! all different colours! and vee starts bouncign a little on papas lap and smiling

with a quick check that she has no allergies (egg, but there aint no egge in lollipops) emile lets her pick a flavor/color then givs it to her to suck on

patton needs to hold it for her though in case she accidentally swallows it, so her lil hands are just holdin gently on papas hand as he holds the lollipop for her and her legs are swingin, dangling down from papas lap bc she happy stims when she is eatin sweets by kicking her feet!

nearing the end of the session emile tells vee how good ahe's been answering al his questions and being well behaved for her papa. so he lets her pick a sticker to prove how good she was today!

but she doesn't want to touch the sticky or have it one her pretty dress, so patton asks her to point to her favourite and papa can pick it up for her. but shes too shy to pick one

so papa chooses one for her, a puffy pink kitty, then puts it on his nose to make her giggle. shes shy abt giggling in front of emile and buries her face on papas shoulder and patton cradles her head and coos and emile just watches all of this rly softly

and then their time is up and patton smiles and pats vee's leg and asks if she wants to be carried and she shakes her head with a proud smile. patton gasps "are you gonna be a big girl and walk on your own?"

then vees smile drops and she whines and grabs pats hand and patton giggles "no no not completely on your own. paps gonna hold your hand baby" so she nods and they get up with patton holding her hand

then patton says goodbye to emile and thanks him for being so kind to vee, and emile says "my pleasure. i'll see you next week vee!"

vee squeezes her papas hand and shuffles behind him a little. but she waves her softies tentacle at emile to say goodbye and emile smiles and waves to them "byebye dr violet, make sure you keep vee safe and happy this week!" and vee giggles and patton leads her outside

in the waiting room vee is much more closed off because theres the receptionist and a couple other clients in there so she just keeps her eyes down while papa signs them out - then she hears a slightly deep voice say "oh, I really like your stuffie"

vee doesnt really know how to react, she looks up a little and sees dark blue jeans and thick legs and vans sneakers but then quickly tugs pattons hand and steps behind him to hide from the stranger

"Thank you! It was a 'well done for going to therapy' gift from me" patton says cheerfully, and vee starts stroking his fingers as a comfort stim

"aw that's sweet!" the stranger says just as joyful as patton... so vee feels okay looking up now that she knows this stranger wasnt trying to make fun of her

she only catches some shaggy brown hair and a tshirt with what looks like a horror film image on it that she doesnt recognise. she doesnt dare make eye contact but she can tell the stranger is smiling at her

and she cant talk, shes too little, but shes not little enough to not understand whats happening. so she lets go of pattons hand bruefly to sign "thank you" then quickly grabs his hand again, feeling her cheeks warm and looking back to the ground

"you're welcome!" the stranger says, still happy, so vee smiles a little, then tugs pattons hand and looks up at him pleadingly

patton is beaming, his cheeks bunched in the biggest smile. "ready to go, sweetie?" vee nods "okay, here we go. It was lovely meeting you..."

"michael!"

"michael" patton smiles and holds out his other hand to shake michaels hand. "im patton and this is vee! have a good night!"

"you too, patton!" michael bids as patton and vee start walking away. then the voice soeaks again "bye vee!"

vee doesnt respond but she smiles and pulls dr violet up to hide it

patton leads her out to the parking lot and as he buckles her seatbelt for her he presses a big kiss to her cheek "im so so proud of you, babygirl"

and the whole ride home patton speaks softly and recaps what was good about theraoy this week. he does it to reinforce with vee that this is a good thing to do.

he talks about how lovely dr picani was and how he already knew what regression was. he talks about how funny his jokes were and how much she giggled. and her lollipop and her sticker - which they just realised was still on pattons nose and laughed about. and he talked about the lovely boy in the waiting room who liked vee's softie!

and the whole time vee is smiling and giggling and blushing and getting closer to full regression so that when they get home vee is just a bouncy wiggly giggly baby all night

[mommy-imagines]

Hi mommy! Ive been meaning to send u more asks but i get really anxious or im not in the headspace to interact orz so im sorry ive been so silent! This years just been a lot sjjdjd and its just really kinda hit me in the past month or 2 so ive been very burnt out

But yeah i meant to send an ask when u put up that post about ur experiences! I really wanted to let u know that im so proud of u for perserving thru all that! And that it mustve been so difficult and ik that things can haunt u sometimes but that ik u can def get over them! Im also sorry that u had to go thru those things. I understand that whole attitude of like "u went thru these things for a reason!" or like "ur a survivor uve been thru so much!" can sometimes be upsetting to hear bc sometimes u just want to let it all out or not be so strong for once. And that it can feel cheap sometimes? Bc its such a general statement and reaction ppl always give that kinda feels like its glorifying in a way what you went thru and i just want to say that its ok to feel bitter and sad and angry about what happened and ur valid in those feelings too! Idk i just wanted to make a point of saying both sides of it is valid and that im really happy that youve come thru it so well and ur still trying new things in life and that ur still here!

Im also really sorry to hear about how ur examns went! I was rooting for u and hoping that things were going well during the days u were offline and felt really bad for u when i read that you failed. Ik theres nothing that can really make it feel better esp after u spent all that time preparing and studying and all that but this is just going to be another experience that will help u later on! We all need some fails in life to get more experience so we can get wins u know? (jsjdjd the irony of me saying that after talking about how ppl only say this will help u lmao) but like yeah i understand how devasted u are esp after u invested all that time in! I hope u feel better soon!

Ndjfjf you dont understand i saw that post about me and i had to bury my face in my hands with a blush and a big smile djfjf omg i wasnt expecting that when i came to check on u djdjdj i like curled up in a ball for a splid minute rolling around jdjdjff i never expected to make a lasting impact with my first ask omg but im glad i make u happy!

Djjdjf im sorry to report tho i dont really have a lot of thoughts i can send in rn im going thru a bit of a dry spell rn in regards to abdl/ageplay and also uh haikyuu in general dnfjfn but dw ill still come back and read your stuff and try to interact when im up to it! I think i can think up some mommy and atsumu thoughts later tho theyll probably be pure playtime thoughts sjdnd

ALSO OMG GO TO SLEEP!!! FINISH UR WORK! DONT PRIORITIZE US OVER UR WORK!!!

(pls prioritize us over ur work!! Feed us that gud gud!)

No but for real take care of urself!

With Love UwU - meian simp 💚💚💚

Hello, my darling! I have missed you terribly.

Thank you for being such a sweet person, I really appreciate everything that you just said, I mean it.

Don't worry about not having ideas about our boy, I get it. I also get the burnout, unfortunately.

I am, as of this day, three weeks from finishing Law School. My finals are this week and the next one, so I'll be cramming for those.

I have a nearly finished self-indulgent Atsumu comfort fic. I'm not going to lie to you here, the only reason for this particular fic to exist, is because I needed to project a bit and pretend to be looked after. So it's still Mommy and Atsumu, it's still part of the original series, but it's very much about Mommy getting some comforting for once. I think that we are all in need of that, in some level.

I'm not sure if I'll post it tonight still, but that's a possibility. If not, then it'll be up some time tomorrow.

All the love, sweetie. I was going to say "stay strong", but I don't think that that's a nice thing to say to someone, it's alright to not be the one having it all together for once - I'm having a really hard time accepting that myself.

I hope to hear from you soon ❣️🌜

[molusca]

she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do? throw herself onto a pyre? is she not allowed to feel lousy that this whole thing blew up in her face? because she's an adult and she made a mistake, she's not allowed to be sad or stressed? she's still an imperfect human. apologizing immediately usually means people are still sensitive to their own hurt of being called out because it's fresh and on their mind so it tends to slip into their apology, but if she had waited any longer to compose herself, you guys would probably have an issue with how long she took. also, in aaaaaallll of this, I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic? I've read her fic and I personally can't see anything wrong, although I will admit that yes, I'm a white ciswoman but I'd like to think I'm aware of negative tropes. but the only thing touted is "it made an mlm uncomfortable" but HOW??? honestly, I want to know! if anything so I can avoid doing the same thing! how is anyone meant to learn when you're not bringing up these points as often as you're explicitly laying out the problems in her apology and whatnot. I've seen 6 posts about how shit the apology was and for why and I've not once seen the original comment detailing why the fic was problematic, and I've been looking on twit, tumblr, insta, and ao3. if it's been deleted, why isn't anyone stating again and again what's wrong? also, if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it. there's one artist that's pretty popular on Twitter and I personally really hate they way they draw klance but it's all over my tl. I respect that person's art style and creativeness and keep on moving. other people enjoy it, good for them. and if I start reading something and get surprised with something I dont like, I leave! find people who write things you like and stop engaging with creators who's things you don't like, as far as I know no one is holding a gun to your head making you read problematic fic. also for as much as you rag on her for the words she used to apologize, you don't seem to be considering your own words when offering criticism. if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully? lastly, no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way (like you should do when it come to kl content creators you don't like). people sending hate in Taylor's defense are in the wrong I agree, and this isn't hate its critism its a discussion, but Taylor isn't responsible for, how many people did you say? 16k on twit? even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense. I see so many younger fans expecting perfection in their fandoms and that just isn't going to happen. yes we should be striving to be better but no one is ever going to be perfect. not you, not me, not the mlm person, not Taylor, not anyone on any side of this argument. the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.- 🦛

she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do?

im pretty sure i said its good that she realizes she handled it poorly. but she makes the whole apology about this, doesnt directly talk about the issues and i know someone went to her to talk about it. also, it took her a day to say something about it so it wasnt exactly immediate (in the sense people had already stopped talking about it but that doesnt mean they werent still bothered). the apology was directed at mlm, and i havent seen one saying it felt genuine. of couse she can be hurt but when you apologize to a marginalized group the focus shouldnt be your feelings, but the feelings of the ones you have hurt.

I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic?

she admits to be projecting on lance. so she makes him very femine and keith very masculine. and ok, gay couples like that do exist, but she is a woman projecting in this situation so this bothers people. putting mlm in this position is a harmful steriotype, bc it feels very heterosexual. this is a trope, it unfortunately happens a lot and its harmful. women need to be aware of what they are representing when drawing/writing mlm because well, real mlm are going to see it, and no one likes to feel like a fetish to others. and its not our place to question if the criticism is right or wrong when we are not mlm, so if you read this and think “but thats not a problem thats not a fetish etc” well, its not your place to judge that. theres more to it and you probably could get a better answer from a mlm sorry.

if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it.

please, lets not compare a minority pointing out harmful tropes with. something fucking illegal.

as you said, you are a cis woman, of course its not going to hurt you in this case. but if people are making harmful content its not a simple matter of “dont interact with it” because they will still be promoting it, other people are going to read it, and media influences how we see minorities so of course people will not like when they see bad portrayal of them. also, tumblr sucks so even if you want to just “dont interact with it” its hard because even after blocking you can still cross the content of someone. not sure how it works on twitter but anyway this discussion started on tumblr and tumblr doesnt stop people who were bothered by her to avoid her by blocking.

if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully?

i think she deleted the ask by now, but i dont remember the ask being hateful. i remember someone asking if she was a fujoshi, and another person mentioned that mlm didnt like the way she portrayals klance. i dont remember it being hateful. but again, she apologized for handling it badly. its just that she stops there.

no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way

ignoring world issues is a privilege. if someone is able to turn off from all the problems in the world, its a privilige. yes no one should talk aobut it all the time thats not even healthy, but to never talk about it is a privilege. thats what black people are saying, they cant just turn off from racism, so yes they are going to expect white people to do something. online honestly i cant do shit, i dont think anything i reblog here does a difference and i do what i can in my own country, but she has a plataform that could help bring awareness. again, its a privilege to be able to curate your social media to be a perfect happy place.

even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense.

maybe they wouldnt, but if people were doing this type of thing in my name, in my defense, i would at least say something about it idk. she cant control them but she makes nothing to show that she disagrees or look for the people being harassed to say something about it.

the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.

when it comes to simple things like “i prefer taller lance and i dont like taller keith” yeah, its fine to ignore people who draw taller keith and move on with your life or something like that. but we are talking about mlm, a real group of people, being upset for being portrayed in a harmful and steriotype way. its everywhere in fandom, and in real life. they cant escape from real life, and then they come to fandom where everyone wants some escapism and have to deal with more issues. its tiring

[kyrrahbird]

Ky’s 琅琊榜 Nirvana in Fire/Lang Ya Bang liveblog experience

EPISODE 2

[prev] | [next]

Time for episode 2!! the one you should really stick around for!! Altho ill be honest, episode 3 is when it really really gets going. this ep is still introducing more major characters LMAO

We left ep 1 finding out about a competition for Nihuangs hand. thank god ep 2 picks up with a discussion about that

The princess is a marquess general rank and has made it on to the Langya martial list

have i mentioned i LOVE HER

unfortunately the emperor is very paranoid

(summary of the whole drama)

and Nihuang is apparently too powerful. hes trying to limit her power with marriage

HIM

I love this intro. Crunchy knuckles man

Bamf and ominous!!

little did I know!!

They also casually drop that Xie Yu controls the capitol patrol guards

i sure do hope that doesnt become relevant later

I still do not like prince yu. hes trying to control Nihuang :(

Mei Changsu has disappeared!! Right under their noses!!

He’s already delighting me

“Even though Fei Liu has mental insufficiencies, he has a good temperament” I CACKLED

MY FACE TOO

Great father-figure, just letting hes souped-up superhero kid wander wherever

But thats okay, we now get to see Commander Meng and Fei Liu battle it out

Fei Liu is HORRIFIED that there might be someone he cant beat

All the fight scenes serve multiple purposes too. Xie Yu is Judging™

Commander Meng “I wouldn’t have dared say I could have won within a hundred moves” 

Cut to Xie Yu’s double take 

SOMETHING CLICKED

you used the Su Zhe alias for like 1 day tops and its already nearly useless

It’s solely to confuse first time watchers

Fei Liu being depressed against a pole im dying

(MCS said he couldnt have beaten Commander Meng)

Im not making a comment about that quote

youre making a comment about that quote

But Xie Bi is onto MCS secret and runs straight to prince yu, while Xie Yu runs straight to the crown prince LMOA

So predictable

“Openly yet discretely took discretely took up residence in my househole”

Yeah it wasnt that discreet 

Also love how Xie Yu goes “yeah no we’re probably gonna have to kill him”

OH

HEY GUESS WHOS FINALLY HERE

YEAH

THE OTHER MAIN CHARACTER

PRINCE JING. JINGYAN. MY PRINCEEEEE

i love how hes just so,,, fucking blunt

and terse

absolutely no social niceties

Xia Dong just stares off into the middle distance and refuses to acknowledge him

Priceless

“This wouldnt be another big conspiracy case would it?”

THATS SO DANG POINTED

i didnt even know what was going on the first time and i still figured out that was a pointed dig. Xia Dong’s look of outrage is priceless

AND THEN HE JUST FUCKS OFF

So Lin Xie (our mc’s dad) apparently killed Xia Dongs husband and that was part of this whole big Chiyan conspiracy that resulting in the army being massacred and mcs falling off a cliff and not dying

But Prince Jing and Nihuang dont believe it. dun dun dunnnn

I remember the first time i watched this and i had the thought that this dude is just. dead inside

I was not wrong

His life sucks rn

And his father and brothers are making him stand outside for hours

thank god for gao zhan the eunuch

His dad FORGOT about him

His brothers piss me off soooo much. i can just see his desire to sink into the floor and/or throttle them both and I CONCUR

And here we have Jingyan’s mother!!!

The real mvp of the show

shes also absolutely gorgeous

And sad that her son didnt visit :((((

Jingrui protecting mcs from his mother and the empress is precious and absolutely breaks my heart

“There’s nothing moral about needlessly placing a friend in a difficult position” AAAAAAA

The thing i loved was that foreshadowing was always evident (through the music and stress and long stares) even if u had no idea what was being foreshadowed 

They’re deliberately late to the fight show so that they dont end up in the boring procession

We (briefly) see Mu Qing who is Nihuang’s lil bro and a Whole Idiot. I love him

But then we get the gr8 scene of the Crown Prince and Prince Yu blatantly jockeying for MCS’s favour

MCS manages to deftly deflect all their gifts

its incredible

Yujin and Jingrui are just looking on like o_o’’’

ooooh no

we’re going to meet the grand dowager empress (the emperors grandmother)

;;A;; IM GONNA CRY

“She is the most peaceful grandmother on earth” oooo my heart

I LOVE THIS bc i was not entirely clear on the family relation here the first time but i still knew EXACTLY what this meant to mcs

THAT MUSIC

she doesnt remember any of them ;;n;;;

HIS EYEEEES

SHE CALLS HIM XIAO-SHU

AAAAAA

u just know this is important. that this recognition is everything hes lost (his family, his friends, his fiance)

but his great grandmother still recognises him

She remembered his favourite sweet too TAT

oh no

and MCS grips nihuang’s hand!!!

Jingrui had to remind him to leave

im so sad :((((( 

I feel bad for his great grandmother;;;

And then he goes back to lying

Why you always lyyyyinggggg

Nihuang asking the pertinent questions like “why tf would you come to the capital, where all the politics are, to REST?”

She may have a point

This ep ends with a slave boy being whipped when spills a bucket of water :000

Which means next ep is the MEETING

I said this one would be shorts and it....nearly is. Apparently i have a lot of thots on Every Scene /surprised pikachu face. 

[prcphetess]

greetings ladies, theydies, n gaydies !  it’s officially pride month / my birth month which means my power and chaos are both at their absolute highest so i apologize in advance :/  ANYWAY i’m hannah, i’m twenty but only for a couple more weeks, i’m kickin it in the est, n i use she/her pronouns !  now onto what you’re all here for ...

enter LOURDES CLEMONTE .

her app / bio are kind of Wild Rides but if ur in the business of reading i did send her app in the discord server n i also have Just her bio linked on her navigation tab as well as a stats page !! but i’ll try my best to summarize all the important stuff here !

also before we get started .. a quick TW for child loss, non-descriptive mentions of grooming, sexual harassment/assault, abuse, car crashes, n death and i THINK that’s everything

HISTORY.

it all started w her dad .. leopold clemonte.. in summary: fuck that guy !

he’s a hot shot author turned movie writer man but in order to gain all of his success he had to make a series of shady deals w none other than our petty king apollo

deal #1 was the life of her twin brother :(

deal #2 was her mother’s sanity aka she became like.. a ghost essentially who no longer speaks or interacts w anyone it’s very sad

deal #3 was meant to be lourdes 

now to backtrack a minute, our girl lou went to school to become a playwright bc her whole life she was desperate to make herself seem worthy to her father n unfortunately leopold knew this and used it to his advantage when apollo demanded he pay off his debt

leopold essentially groomed her to please apollo and promised that she would have a hand in his business forever if she could do tht so she was like okay :)

until .. apollo’s price got too high... u know... n she dared to say no and for that she was Punished

aka cursed

but more about that later

anyway bc she royally pissed off apollo by rejecting him, leopold ALSO lost all his help in being famous and had to turn to a famously wealthy family in california known as the grimaldis 

in order to get them to fund him, he forced lourdes to marry their son brooks who was Not A Nice Man 

2 years into their marriage brooks died in a car accident tht lou Might have caused.. for legal reasons i can neither confirm nor deny whether tht happened but the police didn’t charge her so do with tht what you will 

but she kind of went on the run anyway bc post-curse her doctors were like “nah this bitch is straight up crazy” and she knew her dad wasnt gonna b happy with her for another deal going sour so .. she ran !  and she’s kinda been hotel hopping between towns for the last 3 years trying her best not to interact w anyone !

CURSE.

lou’s curse is all abt prophecy baby !

okay so basically she can see the future of things/objects via touching them which was a whole big symbolic thing in the app bc she “deceived” apollo w her hands .. idk man here’s the line from the bio tht says it best

he  binds  her  wrists  and  says  because  it  was  your  hands  you  used  to  lie ,  now  your  hands  will  see  the  truth  as  he  renders  her  incapable  of  touching  anything  or  anyone  without  foreseeing  an  imminent  doom .  you  will  see  but  never  be  seen ,  he  says .  you  will  hear  but  never  be  heard .

ofc in true cassandra style, if she tries to talk to anyone abt her curse ever it’s like the earth swallowed her whole.. nobody can hear her.. nobody can see her.. nothing.. 

she also has absolutely no idea how to control it at all so like sometimes they’re very vivid images of something going to happen sometimes theyre more like bad feelings abt things .. it’s like a fun game where she never knows whats gonna happen and the prophecies ruin her life !

another quote bc im too lazy to resummarize things

the  general  rule  of  thumb ,  however ,  is  that  the  smaller  the  vision ,  the  easier  it  is  to  see  clearly .  small - scale  or  individual  prophecies  —  like  her  university  president  having  a  heart  attack  —  are  generally  more  easy  to  distinguish .  in  comparison ,  the  years  of  anguish  that  brooks  would  later  cause  her  were  much  harder  to  pin  down  and  presented  themselves  more  as  a  more  general  sense  of  danger .

 the only way she can stop it is with a literal.. physical barrier so she sometimes wears gloves but she can only have them on for a small amount of time before her body starts to reject it and make her Physically Unwell so she has to pick n choose man its unfortunate

EXTRA INFO.

man homegirl is Lonely.. big time... she’s just been avoiding human contact for such a long time she’s ALONE !

she has 2 major scars from the car accident, one on her left cheek from the windshield and one down her right shoulder/bicep from the window and both are very much noticeable :(

she very much loves this small town feeling bc she loves to b invisible and it’s so easy to in sleepy nowhere towns like this

she lives off the database property in like .. a tiny run down house that she’s putting all her time and energy into fixing up n she likes it a lot bc she hasnt had a home of her own in a long time

she also has a black cat named ernest, named after the play the importance of being earnest by oscar wilde

she’s also been working on a PLAY for the last few years, it’s a greek-esque tragic “romance” between the sun and the moon, where the sun is based on apollo and the moon is based on her and it does end with the sun realizing tht the moon is the only person w the power to eclipse him and extinguish him so get fucked apollo !

also speaking of writing she writes a letter home to her mom once every couple of months even tho like .. she can’t really read.. it’s very sad, lou is very sad, thank u for listening

ok this is already like .. stupid long.. so im gonna call it a day WHEW but thank u for reading n i think i’ve honestly already plotted w most of u but feel free 2 like this anyway n i’ll either slide into ur dms either to plot or just to say hey KSDJFSK :)

[starryseo]

heart eyes. | seo changbin

this gif is perfect!!

pairing ↠ changbin x gender neutral!reader

genre ↠ just fluff!!

wc ↠ 1533

summary ↠ chan is a terrible wingman.

warnings ↠ a biiit of swearing. like one word.

hi, i saw that your requests are open and i just found your blog but i love your writing so much already! i was wondering if i could have a scenario with changbin? where you are bff w/ chan and are 4 years older than changbin and also a few inches taller than him but have a crush on him. you don't do anything about your crush but chan knows about it and wants you two to get together. you can decide how you want it to end! thank you!

a/n ↠ thank you so much!!! + im sorry i know you said scenario but this is gonna be a bulleted scenario bc paragraphs take long for me and i dont want you waiting forever for this rip

hope you like it anyways tho!!!!

okay so!!

you’re a songwriter at jyp and you’ve worked with a lot of different groups in there, getting to know the trainees and debuted groups

when you’re not working with debuted groups, you’re helping out some of the trainees

some of them have told you how much they look up to you since you’re young but you’ve gotten so far in life, writing lyrics and melodies for one of the top 3

and they’re always asking you for tips and ideas and if you can read over some of the lyrics theyve written

and theyre always asking for your opinion on whether the melody goes with the lyrics theyve written

and you love how inspired and determind they are bc it’s hard being a trainee, going to school AND writing lyrics/ composing on the side

mad respect to all those out there

you’ve worked with a lot of trainees, but when jyp himself asked you to work w a kiddo named chan you were really excited!!!

ok hes not really a kiddo, he was a year younger than yourself but!! who cares!!!

you two hit it off really quickly, being vvv good friends in a short amount of time

some other trainees had suggested you listen to some soundcloud group 3racha and you really liked them!!!

and now!! you’re working with one of them!!!

jyp knew that chan was rly good at song writing and composing, and it was getting closer to the survival show time, so he asked you to help chan out

guiding him on how to write a Hit Song

so you worked closely with him before the show had started airing, running through the tips you had learnt through your years of writing

and you ran through different concepts and ideas he wanted to express through his music and songs

after a month of constant-coffee-meet-ups and late night freestyles you two had gotten vv close

practically inseparable, even tho you both were v busy, you w composing and him with his group

there rly was never a dull moment between you two and you rly liked having a proper friend that you could trust and vent to if need be

the day he introduced you to his group was wild!!!

he invited you out to a restaurant after the hellevator mv dropped

when you got there, he was standing at the entrance and he was like “:00 you came!!! took you long enough!!”

“i wasnt gonna miss out on free food now was i??”

he took you inside, saying he’d already gotten the table

and when you got there youre like

“,,,, why are there a bunch of boys at our table ://”

“theyre my group members!!!!”

:000!!!

they were quiet at first but when chan introduced you they all burst into cheers

it was just chaos like “hi!!!!!!!” / “hellooooooo!!!” / “omg!!!!!” / “thank you for helping w the mv!!!!” / “wow we finally get to see yn!!!!!!”

and youre just like ,,,,, what do i even reply to,,

so you say hi etc, introduce yourself and then take a seat next to chan

even tho you had known chan for a long time, you rly had only worked w him

like, he would always come to your office to work on stuff or you’d meet in public places, but it was only ever the two of you

so you were happy you finally got to meet the others!!

it was rly fun meeting all of them, they were so lively!!!

they were asking all sorts of questions abt you, your job, interests etc and they were rly thankful that you helped chan bc he imparted his knowledge + help onto them

and chan was like “yeah thanks for all your help!! this is all stressful so it was vv helpful that you guided me on how to do this stuff!!”

but as soon as the food came? they were silent

like seriously, there was barely any chatter

only small grumbles from jisung when seungmin stole his food

you had spoken to changbin a lot throughout the night

he was sitting next to you and you were internally Combusting bc

oh man you were sitting in between 2/3 of 3racha and you had to admit

changbin was probs your fave outta the 3 of them

man,, you really loved his tone of voice and how he could change it so easily within a song, and it would still flow so!! well!!!

you loved listening to him rapping sm and chan most definitely knew abt that

whenever he brought over lines/ ideas that he and the guys had written, you’d be like Wow i really love this part, it flows rly well w the melody

chan: “ah really? guess who wrote that!”

“,?? you?”

“changbin ;))))”

“whats with that face :/”

“ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) what ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  face”

“t h a t  f a c e”

“youre the one that goes all Heart Eyes when i mention changbin n yet im making a weird face??? k then”

“PPPPFT shut up lets work idk what youre talking abt”

and he dropped the subject but that stupid smirk never left his face :(((

when you finished your food, chan who obvs had already inhaled his food just started nudging you like

“( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) nows ur chance”

“i can finally kill u?? :D”

“:( no wtf why would u wanna do that?”

“wait i have a list-”

“BRO </3 i meant nows ur chance to woo changbin ;^))))”

“to do what now”

“to KiSs KiSs FaLl In LoVe with bInNiE!!”

“omg youre embarassing how are You the leader??”

and he just kept that up the Whole Night

honestly youre surprised none of the other guys realised what he was doing bc he just kept smirking and nudging you whenever changbin so much as sipped his water and you would straight up Elbow Him

but then he was like “hey changbin :)”

and internally you were just like Oh Great here comes the Fuckening

and the dude literally Exposed you there

and you were just like ?? i just mET youre group and youre already telling them my life story???

Chan basically told changbin abt how much you rly liked his lyrics and you were just like

:))) I :)) Hate :))))) You :)))) ByungChan

and like there was no way for you to even defend yourself bc chan was making you out to be some crazy fan like “oh man yn wouldnt sTOP talking abt this one line you wrote in IF and it was like 4am like bro i already dont sleep and they kept me up”

minho the Jerk was like !!! theyre blushing aww!!!

Cue you going even more red like Bang Chan youre a dead man :)

And changbin was just rly ? bashful ? he was surprisingly mature abt this and he just kept his reply rly simple like “ah really? thanks, that means a lot, esp coming from such an amazing writer like yourself!”

and you felt like Dying bc

were you that weird in his eyes that he couldnt even joke abt this now?? like did he just find you Super Creepy he just went all Awkward + Formal on you???

nAH HE WAS INTERNALLY SCREAMING BUt unfortunately you didnt know that bc he was holding it in so. well.

the major TBH is that chan was so trying to set you up

like,,, look at the seating arrangement man, he HAD to put you two together bc

you wouldnt stop talking abt how much you loved changbin’s skills

and omg changbin was even worse

as soon as he found out chan was working with you he was Begging to join too!!

he was like!!!! i need help!! so much help pLS LET ME WORK WITH THEM P L S

and chan just to tease the both of you prolonged this out for so. long. bc Hes the Devil

honestly he was so close to bursting into laughter when changbin gave you such a formal reply bc hE KNEW he was going crazy inside like

he always talked abt how cool you were with all the songs you wrote, he loved how you were so emotive and creative with your words, you really inspired him

and his bEST FRIEND was woRKING WITH YOU and NOT giving him your phONE NUMBER chan is the ult snake

chan basically confirmed everything when he asked you who your fave in 3racha was and you said that chan was

bc like lmfao s u r e it was

and then when chan told changbin your fave was jisung he looked the tiniest bit Sad which basically just confirmed everything in chan’s mind

and he felT BAD THAT he straight up lied to changbin bUT

he did that like the day before he was gonna introduce you two

so he had already planned to expose you and see changbin blush like Crazy

Unfortunately only you were blushing but,,, he Knew

and when he saw you and changbin trailing behind the group after dessert, phones out to exchange details, he Knew ;^))) 

i rly didnt know where i was going with this and then i just button smashed this lmfao also sorry i didnt mention the height thing?? i didnt know if you wanted that to be an important plot point but i like the openness of this lmao sorry i’ll make up for it one day hopefully. i hope u like it anyway ++ im so so sry its so late!!!

[mars-the-4th-planet]

The Exo-Martian/Joopistein Conflict of 88,000,902 BC

Back in the day, before humans did their hum, I was a far more independent planet. I had an atmosphere and single celled life! I was all set to become the next earth!

It was only a matter of time before a truly sentient being evolved... I wasnt impatient, I was ready and willing to wait millions of years if thats what it took.

I didnt have a crush on the most wonderful planet in the galaxy yet, I got good grades, I was skilled in PE sports and really life was great!

But... Sol... She kept wearing down my atmosphere with solar wind. She said I wasnt supposed to have life and that she had the right to remove my atmosphere if she needed to. It simply wasnt my destiny to be a lively place, she said.

But what Sol didnt seem to understand is that im pretty far away. If I had a proper ozone than I could have life regardless of what Sol wanted. My atmosphere would just absorb all her radiation.

Where could I get an ozone layer though? I needed lots of gas in specific types to form a nice strong ozone. Because of my small size, my magnosphere sucked and I needed an even stronger atmosphere than earths!

So... I went to get some from the only source close enough: The Joopistein. Or as you know her today, Jupiter.

I opened interplanetary communication with her and we discussed my total extinction problem. I asked her to lend me some of her mass. A tiny, tiny amount to her. O.1% of specific parts of her massive atmosphere would be all I needed.

She said no.

I asked again, more frantically.

She said no again.

I BEGGED her for the materials to have an ozone layer that worked, saying that if I didnt get it every living thing on me would freeze to death. Single-celled life cannot maintain activity in subzero temperatures!

I cried, pleaded, tried as hard as I could to convince her! But even back then we were on bad terms and she didnt want to help me.

So I stopped talking to her, and began work on Operation Raptor V. (Yes... I know thats a dorky name. I was young back then and thought it was cool okay?)

Within a few years, (in a huge hurry because time was running out fast. In a matter of decades everything on me would be extinct.) I raised a pro-mars space armada of thousands of asteroids and a few dozen moon-sized dwarf planets.

The plan was, I explained to them, was to capture the Joopisteins favorite moons and shred her outer atmosphere with meteor strikes. I know what youre thinking, "wtf mars you were going to start a space war?" yes, yes I was. I was desperate during that time! I had to grab the materials needed to save the lifeforms on my surface!

So, when the Stars of War aligned, we begun our invasion. I called myself Exo-Mars back because I thought I was a bit of a badass after my victories in the asteroid belt, and I had earth (who is larger than I am) SURRENDER to me not long before that time without me even attacking her! (She was kind of weird about it, as if she WANTED to surrender to me. And she called me "Ma'am" for a little while after that without me telling her too.)

Anyway, so here I was with an army and feeling hardcore right? I thought if I went in fast enough, the Joopistein would feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of asteroids and moons and would be afraid what would happen to her moons if she didnt give me what I wanted. So she would surrender quickly without a long fight. And yes I know I sound cruel but ive changed since then I promise! I wouldnt really hurt innocent moons anyway!

Unfortunately for me, when you have an army of thousands at least one of them is probably a traitor. The Joopistein was warned of my attack beforehand so when it started all of her moons had either gone inside her outer atmosphere for protection or had gone behind her or simply fled into the outer solar system to return later. Its hard to change orbits quickly in space when your momentum is still up, so if I turned around at that point the attack would just have to wait until another time. But if I retreated, the asteroids would scatter again as they do (they are very disorganized and unreliable soldiers) and it could take me a whole year to arrange them into an a concentrated attack pattern again!

So, being the arrogant little planet I was, I declared that we would attack the Joopistein directly!

About a quarter of my army routed right away. It sucked. I didnt give up though, life wasnt going extinct on me if I could help it!

"JOOP! LAST CHANCE! I NEED OZONE, AND YOU HAVE PLENTY! GIVE ME SOME!" I demanded. Confident now. No more begging: I would be given what I wanted or I would take it.

She only laughed.

So, the battle begun. Wave after wave of meteors pelted and whizzed by the Joopistein. Some made it out, some didnt. I dont understand why they dont mind being engulfed by planets. It sounds very painful. But not to them I guess...

Joopisteins atmosphere started getting a little messed up, like burning clouds of gas would get launched into space. But she was so unbelievably big that the giant clouds meant nothing to her.

The circled her, pelting the Joopistein more and more. Problem was I was losing more of my army than they were doing damage. They were heating her up all right but it wasnt exactly doing anything to make her surrender. I started getting worried so I sent in the dwarf planets.

Then something awful happened. Jupiter used her secret attack: The Septa Aurora. Her poles glowed and whispered dangerous ideas to my moons and asteroids with the power of the mightiest planet in the solar system...

Some flew off into space. Some continued their attack, but... The majority turned on me.

A cloud of projectiles moving at insane speeds I had never seen them go before were coming right at me. The bulk of my armada had turned against me because of some flashy lights. (okay I know theres more to it then that but still...)

At that moment, I knew I had lost. The great Exo-Martian empire was at its end and I had no choice but yo surrender. I raised the white rock in meloncholy and humiliation.

Yet, I did not want to die. And I could tell by how she was looking at me that she did not want to spare me. I had critically damaged two of her moons and they wouldnt ever recover. I had damaged her own planetary stability and had assaulted her with what amounted to a swarm of flying ants. She was furious and wanted to see me suffer. Im not saying she didnt have a good reason to, either.

But luckily, Sol noticed what was happening and told Joopistein to accept my surrender. Back then Sol was a much stricter authoritarian and she was likely to report her to Galaxy Centre after punishing her severely if Joopistein destroyed me. She didnt want to risk that so she accepted my surrender.

We were at peace after that, but a bunch of surrender conditions and war reparations were put on me. My badass exo helmet with the spike on it was removed, leaving only the goggles behind. All of my moons except two were taken from me and given to Joopistein. I wasnt allowed to accept any material from any planet anymore, even if they gave it willingly. Sol has her own punishments in mind for picking a fight which included a long range solar flare that left me dazed and shocked for a while and exterminated everything on me in a blast of radiation.

The last condition made by what is now Jupiter was that I had to do any chore she wanted for the next 700 million years.

And THAT is the sad story of why I have to go do dishes for Jupiter among other things... *sigh* 612 million years to go...

[hyeizwon]

Okay I had to make another part because I’m so emotional about all the contestants we lost 😢😢😢 like I said earlier - the J contestants were done extremely dirty in my opinion and there being NONE remaining outside of the top 9 is insane. Ruan, Ririka, Manami, May, and Kotone were so amazing and talented throughout this whole competition and I kid u not when I say every one of them stood out in the creation mission (along with other performances ofc but I think they all really shined in the original songs). If Mnet had given them more screen time outside of performances I genuinely think they would’ve all been ranked higher 😭 I adore Myah and am absolutely thrilled we’ll see more of her but I can’t help but really wish that at least one of the amazing J contestants could’ve been saved 😢😢 Xin yu and chen hsinwei I did see coming but they still broke my heart (especially when hsinwei couldn’t speak after being so close - I’ve known her since ywy2 so it was super hard to see her get eliminated again, but she ranked so much higher this time and has so many more fans now so I’m looking forward to her next steps). And then the big one that mnet barely paid any attention and gave super little screen time to - cai bing. Despite her not being one of my picks, I genuinely feel so bad for her and her falling so low and ending up being eliminated before the final is something I was not predicting at all. tbh I’m actually surprised the planet pass didn’t go to her?? Either way I hope for the best for her (and the rest of them ofc) and pray we’ll get to see them on the screen or in music again soon ☺️💗 what are your thoughts on these eliminations? Were you surprised or did you pretty much expect what happened? See you again soon!! 😁 (2/2)

Y E S the fact that only FOUR j trainees survived is WILD!!! especially when like you said they all stood out in the creation mission and have all been giving consistently great performances but unfortunately have just not had the screentime needed. each one was carried to this point of the competition by the charisma and skills they showed on stage instead of storylines and i can't begin to imagine how much more popular they would be if we were able to get to know them on the show :(( i love myah and she def deserved to get saved bc she stands out in most performances she does - saving her meant all 9K trainees survived which just. for a global girlgroup?? esp with the interim rankings now, as she's went from 25 to 8 which. h o w.

im sorry you had to see hsinwei get eliminated again :( i loved her personality sm and cant wait to see more of her aswell. i feel so bad for how she had to stand up on the stage just to hear it wasnt her who got through you could tell how much she wants to debut i hope yuehua gives her the chance soon. cai bing was given NOTHING this episode after she was such a big part of the early show it was so sad. the show built her up by giving her top9 ep2 only to edit her harshly for 3 episodes in a row then ignore her (idk how much was evil editing and how much was just. her but at the same time they made sure we saw evil cai bing and nothing else whenevr she was on screen) so im not surprised they didnt give her the planet pass bc they made it obvious how they feel about her.

i kinda expected a few of the results, except that i figured manami would be 17 and ruan would be 15/14, with suyeon and huang xing qiao being eliminated. everytime the camera panned to ruan during rankings i felt worse and worse for her :(( i expected that cai bing would be eliminated, but i really didnt think she'd be last at ALL, and myah being 25?? i thought she'd be 19/18 but wow...