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teamfreewill-imagine · 7 years ago

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I Know Your Wife (She Wouldn’t Mind) - Part Thirty-Nine

Summary: Things are looking up until the news of Danneel’s experiences on One Tree Hill go public. Words: 4.5k Jared x Reader x Gen, Jensen, Danneel, JJ, Arrow, Zep, Dallas (OC) Warnings: mentioned sexual assault/harassment, nausea, angst Beta: @blacksiren

I Know Your Wife - Masterpost

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In the morning, you woke to your phone blowing up with notifications.

Someone had taken pictures of you and Gen, dancing and kissing in the final bar, and spread them around.

You sighed when you saw them, waking Genevieve up to show her what was being said, but she just shrugged and fell back into the pillows.

“We had fun,” she murmured. “They’re just jealous I got to party with the hottest cowgirl in town.”

You laughed, putting your phone down and kissing her softly.

“More jealous of me, getting to make out with Kris Furillo’s older, sexier body double,” you smiled, slapping her ass through the comforter as you got to your feet, stretching your arms above your head and making your jersey ride up. “I should probably watch Wildfire at some point.”

“You’re a tease,” she complained as you pulled the hem back down, grinning at her. “You’ve not even seen my season of Supernatural.”

“I don’t have a lot of free time,” you reasoned. “I’ve got a baby and a show.”

“Next hiatus we’ll do a catch up of all of our acting disasters,” she told you, watching as you pulled on a pair of shorts. “Jay and Grandpa Ackles did a real interesting movie a few years back that he hates us bringing up.”

“Can’t wait,” you smiled. “I’m gonna check on Dal and Jared.”

“I’m gonna grab ten more minutes,” she mumbled. “Remember to pump if your boobs get heavy, and-”

“Don’t breastfeed until this afternoon,” you finished for her, and she hummed in agreement.

“My girlfriend is the smartest,” she murmured, her voice muffled by her pillow as you left the room.

Genevieve had to fly back to Austin on Thursday morning, leaving everything back to normal in your Vancouver home.

You and Jared were both working long hours to make up for your time off, leaving yourself tired and your daughter grouchy.

“In a week, we’ll be in Hawaii, then it’ll be Thanksgiving break,” Jared reminded you the next Friday when you were getting ready for bed. “We’ve got some real time off.”

“I know,” you smiled tiredly, leaning up to kiss him when Dallas started crying.

You sunk back down onto your heels, resting your forehead on his chest as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders.

“She’s so grumpy lately,” you complained, and he laughed softly as he kissed the top of your head.

“She’s a baby,” he smiled, kissing your temple as he pulled back. “I’ve got this, get into bed.”

“You sure?” you clarified, already pulling back the covers.

“I’m sure,” he promised. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

You never got to Hawaii, not even for the convention.

You were scrolling through your twitter feed after work on Monday when you came across Danneel’s retweet of Sophia’s post sharing an article from Variety.

Reading the title, ‘One Tree Hill’ Cast, Crew Accuse Showrunner Mark Schwahn of Sexual Harassment, had bile rising in your throat.

Just three paragraphs in, you dropped your phone, running to the bathroom to half throw up, half sob into the toilet bowl.

You were still crying when Jensen appeared in the doorway, leaning against the frame and watching you in concern.

“You’re not pregnant again already, are you?” he asked, teasing.

You sniffed, wiping your mouth with some tissue before flushing the toilet, getting to your feet and walking across to the basin.

You splashed some water on your face, swilling some around in your mouth to get rid of the horrible taste before spitting into the sink and rinsing it down.

“Kiddo?” Jensen probed, the teasing gone from his tone. “What’s up?”

“She-” you cleared your throat, swallowing down the ache. “She had to work with him.”

He instantly knew what you were referring to, pulling you into a comforting embrace.

“I know, sweetheart,” he whispered, resting his cheek on top of your head. “I know.”

You were crying against his shirt but he didn’t care, whispering reassurances to you as his hand stroked your back.

“I hate him,” you sniffed, and Jensen held you tighter.

“Me too, kiddo,” he agreed. “Did you- did you read the letter?”

You shook your head against him, trying to stop crying.

“I only got a few lines into the article,” you admitted, and he nodded, pulling back enough to kiss your temple.

“Dee signed a letter, calling him out,” he explained, his voice soft. “Sophia and Hil wrote most of it, but so many of them signed it. It’s tough but they’re going to make a difference. It’s… it’s a tough read, but they’re finally able to speak out.”

“Yeah,” you breathed, sniffing.

“Yeah,” he echoed as he pulled back, looking into your eyes.

“I hate men,” you grumbled, earning a soft laugh as he tucked you under his arm and lead you out of the bathroom.

“You sound just like your mama,” he murmured, and you huffed a laugh.

“Good,” you told him. “She’s the strongest person I know.”

He smiled, kissing the top of your head and rubbing your shoulder.

“You and me, both.”

Jared was in the nursery - reading ‘Guess How Much I Love You’ to Dallas, his soothing voice sending her to sleep - when you finally got around to reading the whole article without having to stop to sob or run to the bathroom.

Your heart was broken, knowing what Danneel had suffered through, and all you wanted was to be close to her.

But you were in Vancouver and she was thousands of miles away, in a timezone that meant it was too late to call or facetime, leaving you with no option but to curl up in bed and cry.

You cried for all of the women who had signed that letter. You cried for your family and close friends. You cried for the complete strangers, named and unnamed. You cried for the injustice of it all.

A part of you, pushing its way to the forefront of your mind, cried with relief.

Relief that they’d spoken out, relief that they were finally able to fight back, and relief that you didn’t have to suffer that way on your ‘big break’ show.

You felt guilty for even thinking it, but the idea that you could’ve had someone like him running Supernatural, in charge of your career, made you nauseous all over again.

You could have left Oklahoma, thinking you’d left everything bad behind you, only to find the same thing happening to you in the place that was supposed to be your fresh start; your clean slate.

You didn’t know how long you’d been silently crying when you felt the bed dip beside you.

Jared sat against the headboard, gently rolling you over so that your head was in his lap. You were still curled up, your knees as far to your chest as they could go, but you rested an arm over his thighs as his hand began to stroke through your hair.

Eventually, your tears dried up and you found yourself laying in silence, numbness filling your body.

“You don’t have to come to Maui, you know?” Jared told you, his voice soft.

You pulled back, pushing yourself to sit up as you looked at him, wiping your cheeks with your sleeve.

“You don’t even have to come to Honolulu,” he continued. “Creation will understand, so will Gen and I.”

“We’ve been… we’ve planned this for weeks,” you protested weakly. “Our first vacation.”

“And of course we’d love it if you came,” he agreed. “But we understand if you need to be with Danneel.”

You swallowed, not knowing what to say as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side.

“This… your reaction to everything,” Jared paused, trying to find the right words. “Kiddo, if you need your mama, you need your mama. There’s no shame in wanting to go home- wanting to be with her. I get it.”

“The fans-”

“The fans will understand, Y/N,” he promised, his lips against the top of your head. “I’ve had to leave conventions early before, and everyone gets over it.”

You wrapped your arms around his middle, leaning further into him.

“I’m not saying you have to go to Texas,” he clarified, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I don’t want you to think I’m telling you you can’t come to Hawaii. I just want you to know that the option is there, and nobody will think any less of you for taking it.”

You didn’t know how to reply, but Jared didn’t need you to as he started to slowly trail his fingers up and down your arm in a comforting movement.

“We still have a couple days,” he whispered, his fingers stilling as he wrapped a strong arm over your shoulders and pulled you closer. “Just think about it.”

You nodded, still unable to form an audible response, but you didn’t need time to think about it.

You knew where you needed to be.

Danneel and the twins greeted you at the airport on Thursday lunchtime and, the second you saw them, tears started to well in your eyes.

You let go of Dallas’ stroller as you reached them, throwing your arms around Danneel and burying your face in her neck

“Hey, shh,” she soothed as you felt yourself begin to cry. “You’re okay.”

“Are you?” you asked, pulling back and cradling her face in your hands, checking her over. “Are you-”

“I’m alright, sweetheart,” she promised, kissing your forehead. “Let’s get you home.”

She took over Dallas’ stroller as you took the twins’, looking down into their gorgeous eyes and sniffing back your tears.

“You guys need to stop growing every time I look away,” you mumbled, stroking Arrow’s cheek as she was in the top basket.

“You’re telling me,” Danneel agreed, looking down at Dallas. “Two seconds ago she was a newborn.”

“Yeah,” you murmured, starting towards the exit. “Taking after her daddy already.”

You had a few hours alone with Danneel and the babies, during which she talked to you more about the article and what happened while she was working on One Tree Hill.

It hurt to hear her talking about it, to see her reliving the moments, but she assured you that now was the time for them to come forward; that they were already making such a difference by talking out about it.

“Besides,” she had reminded you, her arm around your shoulders as she kissed your temple, “I had great friends around me at the time, and I’ve got an incredible family with me now. I’m good, kiddo.”

By the time Danneel’s phone alarm went off, telling you that it was time to pick up JJ, the two of you were smiling and joking with each other.

“I didn’t tell JJ that you were coming,” she told you as you strapped the babies into their car seats. “She’s gonna freak out.”

“I can’t wait to see her,” you smiled, checking over Dallas’ seat as Danneel did the same for the twins.

You leaned in to kiss Dallas’ cheek, shutting the door before climbing into the passenger seat and smiling across at Danneel.

“Let’s get going,” she grinned, starting the ignition.

You were grinning as you watched the kids file out of the preschool classroom from your seat in the car, running excitedly towards their parents and carers to talk about their days.

You were waiting in the car with the babies to prolong the surprise, but your grin changed to a soft frown when you noticed that JJ wasn’t as enthusiastic to see her mom as she usually was.

You stayed quiet while Danneel helped her into her carseat, and JJ didn’t offer any kind of conversation either.

Once Danneel got behind the wheel, she turned back to face the kids.

“JJ, are you gonna say hi to your sister?” she prompted, and you turned around to smile at her.

“Hi,” she murmured, looking out the window.

“Hey, kiddo,” you responded, turning back to Danneel. “What-?”

“I don’t know,” she replied, starting up the car again. “She won’t tell me anything.”

JJ was sitting quietly in the front room when you and Danneel had finished getting the babies out of the car.

Danneel took Dallas from your arms, nodding towards JJ.

“See if you can get her to talk?” she requested, and you smiled sadly.

“I hate seeing her like this.”

“Me too,” she agreed, kissing your cheek. “But if anyone can get her to feel better, it’s her big sister.”

You hoped she was right as you made your way through to the front room, sitting down on the floor opposite JJ.

“Hey, Texas,” you murmured, lightly knocking her chin with a knuckle so that she looked at you. “You wanna tell me what happened today?”

JJ nodded, her lip starting to quiver as her eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, sweetheart,” you breathed, cupping her cheek in your palm. “What’s wrong?”

She sniffed, leaning into you for a hug.

You wrapped your arms around her, kissing the top of her head and waiting for her to talk.

“I was- I was playin’ with the truck,” she began, sniffing and speaking against your top. “And Ben stole it from me while I was playin’.”

You swallowed thickly, already furious with this ‘Ben’ character.

“Did you tell him you were still playing with it?” you asked, and she nodded against you before pulling back.

She still had tears in her eyes and you wanted nothing more than to make them go away.

“I said I was playin’ and that he could have it after me,” she told you, sniffing. “I’ve learned sharin’ and I know that it’s important so I said he could have it when I was done but he just took it. And I told Miss Daisy because I was still playin’ and he stole it but she- she-”

“What did she say, kiddo?” you asked kindly.

“She said he was just bein’ a boy and I’m a mature lady and I don’t need to get upset about it,” she told you, trying to wipe her own tears.

You saw red, trying not to get angry because you didn’t want JJ to feel any worse.

“Alright, baby,” you breathed, taking her hands in your own. “I want you to listen to me, okay?”

“Mhm,” she nodded, still sniffing.

“‘Boys will be boys’ is not an acceptable excuse for mean behaviour, and I’ll be having a chat with Miss Daisy about that tomorrow,” you explained, and JJ nodded again. “If you told Ben that he couldn’t have the truck yet, he shouldn’t have taken it without your conse- without your permission.”

You cleared your throat, trying to keep your tone steady.

“No means no, kiddo.”

“No means no,” she repeated, and you nodded.

“That’s right,” you agreed, ruffling her hair until she smiled slightly. “So, what do you say next time another kid takes the toy you’re playing with without permission?”

“I say ‘no means no’,” she told you.

“That’s right, and you take the toy back.”

“I take it back,” she nodded, and you smiled, tapping her nose.

“Yep,” you confirmed, “Because you never let anyone take away your decisions or your voice.”

“No means no,” JJ murmured, and you kissed her cheek.

“Alright, Tex, go wash your face,” you told her, getting to your feet and pulling JJ up with you, “Put on some comfy clothes, ‘kay?”

She smiled, running off to do as you asked after stopping to hug Danneel’s legs in the doorway.

Danneel still had Dallas in her arms as she stepped into the room, watching you with a concerned expression.

You shrugged softly, folding your arms.

“I fixed her bad mood,” you explained, and she nodded.

“You did, thank you,” she hedged, biting her lip. “What was all that about?”

“She needs to know that it’s not okay for boys to walk all over her,” you shrugged defensively. “I’m gonna talk to her teacher-”

“I agree, and I’ll go with you,” Danneel told you, “But, Dits… the whole ‘no means no’ talk…”

You swallowed, taking a step back when you realised what she was getting at.

Danneel took a tentative step towards you, concern furrowing her brow.

“Talk to me,” she requested softly. “What happened?”

You shrugged, looking away.

“Nothing,” you murmured. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

One look at her face told you that Danneel wasn’t buying it.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you tried, your voice soft.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she sighed. “You can tell me anything.”

You swallowed again, looking down at the floor.

“Come on, it’s me,” she pleaded. “You’re my baby. Let me help you.”

As soon as the words left her lips, she could see your expression change.

“I’m not your baby,” you spat, causing Danneel to flinch slightly. “You’re not my real mom.”

Danneel nodded, her hold on Dallas tightening protectively as your demeanor changed.

“I know that, sweetheart,” she offered softly, “I know-”

“No, you don’t know,” you snapped, and Danneel’s mouth suddenly shut in shock as you started to shout. “You don’t know what it was like. You don’t have any idea what it was like! You weren’t there, so stop acting like you know me when all you’ve ever seen is ‘Ditto Ackles’, because - guess what?”

Danneel had never seen you like this before, her heart was pounding hard and fast inside her chest as she let you continue to rant.

You stepped back, motioning around the room.

“This isn’t me,” you told her, harshly. “This… this whole thing is bullshit! ‘Ditto’ is bullshit. The ‘me’ you know is a fucking lie. So I’m sorry that I’m not ready to let you in on all my deep dark secrets just because you’ve ‘known’ me for five whole minutes.”

You stopped, your chest heaving as Danneel looked at you as if she’d never even met you - as if you were a stranger in her home.

The two of you faced each other for a while, both too stubborn to break eye contact.

This was new territory for Danneel. JJ was still too young to argue with her to such an extent, but she knew in that moment that you needed a parent.

Not to hug you and tell you everything was okay, but to set boundaries and let you know when you’d crossed them. To set rules for your own benefit and to inflict consequences when you acted out.

Danneel squared her shoulders and set her jaw, rearranging Dallas so that your daughter was against her chest.

Dallas balled her fists, snuggling in against Danneel’s neck as she was moved.

“It’s a good thing I’m not your real mom,” Danneel spoke, taking you by surprise. “I hate to think what she’d’ve done if you ever spoke to her like that.”

You swallowed, finally breaking eye contact.

“But you do not get to talk to me like that,” she continued, her voice even and strong. “I know you’re hurting. I don’t know why because you refuse to talk to me, but I appreciate that you’re dealing with something huge. Whatever it is, whenever you’re ready, I’m here to listen. Judgement free. But you never speak to me like that again, you hear me?”

You nodded, still looking at the floor.

“Look at me,” she demanded, and you obliged with wide, frightened eyes. “I haven’t known you forever, you’re right. But I’m your mother, and you used to respect that.”

You swallowed, dumbstruck.

You couldn’t believe that you’d said all of that, that you’d blown up at her in order to protect yourself from telling her everything.

“Dee, I’m sorry,” you breathed, “I-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” she cut you off.

Every bone in her body was telling her to let you know that you were forgiven, to give you a hug and assure you that everything would be okay, but she didn’t.

You needed discipline; you needed order.

“Go to your room,” she told you, and you blinked at her. “Now, please.”

“Give me my daughter,” you requested.

Danneel didn’t move, hoping that you’d just go upstairs and calm down without her, but you took a step forward and held out your arms.

“Give her to me,” you repeated. “Please.”

She handed her over, and you were instantly grounded by the weight of your daughter in your arms.

Danneel stepped out of your way, and by the time you got to the top of the stairs you had tears in your eyes.

By the time you got to your bedroom, you were crying.

Dallas was fussing in your arms as you sat on your bed, and you tried to shush her through your own tears.

“It’s okay, baby girl,” you murmured, kissing the top of her head. “Mama’s okay. You’re okay.”

You took a few breaths, trying to calm down for the sake of both yourself and your daughter.

“I’m so sorry for shouting,” you whispered, stroking her hair. “You’re not allowed to repeat any of my behaviour. Or any bad words you might’ve heard.”

Dallas blinked, looking up at you with gorgeous eyes.

“You’ve gotta respect Dee, too,” you sighed, leaning against the headboard. “She’s the best thing that ever happened to us and we should remember that.”

You sniffed as you heard a little knock on the door, looking up to see JJ peeking into the room.

“Hey, kiddo,” you sighed. “I’m in trouble so I can’t play right now.”

“I know,” she told you, walking in.

You laid Dallas down on the bed next to you, frowning slightly at JJ.

“I’m just sayin’ I love ya,” she told you, climbing up into bed to hug you.

You hugged back, resting your chin on top of her head.

“I love you, Texas,” you assured her, closing your eyes.

She held you for a moment before you pushed her back, kissing her cheek.

“Now get out of here before I get you in trouble.”

She laughed softly, leaning down to kiss Dallas’ forehead before leaving the room as quickly as she entered.

You carefully laid down, moving onto your side and lifting Dallas so that she was laying on her back beside you.

Her eyes were blinking heavily, and you smiled softly as she let out a big yawn.

“Think we both need a bit of a nap, huh?” you murmured, letting her hold your finger as you leant into the pillows. “It’s been a long day for both of us.”

You woke to the sound of your bedroom door opening.

Your eyes fluttered open to see that Dallas was still snoozing beside you, her expression content and calm, and a soft smile fell over your face.

The door closing reminded you what had woken you up, and you carefully pushed yourself to sit without disturbing your daughter.

Danneel entered, a steaming mug in her hands and a soft smile on her face.

“Hey, sweetheart,” she murmured, placing the hot tea down on your nightstand and perching beside you on your mattress.

“Hi,” you whispered, looking down at your hands.

“I love you,” she told you, smiling sadly. “I love you so much. But you can’t talk to me like you did.”

“I know,” you sniffed, your voice hoarse, “I’m sorry, I-”

“I know you are,” she promised. “I know. I love you, and I’m worried about you. You can’t shut me out.”

You nodded, feeling yourself start to cry again.

“Oh, baby,” she breathed, moving closer and pulling you into a hug.

She held you until your tears dried up, until Dallas’ soft grunts of waking up broke the two of you apart.

Danneel picked up your daughter, shushing her in her arms as she smiled down at her.

“I gave her your name,” you murmured, watching the two of them. “I wanted her to grow up with your grace, and your kindness. I wanted her to know that her mama’s mama means everything to us, and I just-”

“It’s okay,” Danneel insisted, cutting you off. “You lashed out, I forgive you. It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” you whispered. “It’s not okay. You’ve taken me in, you’ve taught me what it means to be a parent, and I just threw it all back at you because I didn’t want to talk.”

Danneel nodded, swallowing around nothing as she looked down at your daughter before looking back at you.

“You can tell me anything,” she reminded you. “You can talk to me.”

You nodded, clenching your jaw and looking back down at your hands.

“I wish I was your real daughter,” you admitted, biting a hangnail.

“Honey, you are my real daughter,” she assured you, pulling your hand away from your mouth.

“But I’ll always be adopted,” you reasoned. “And… and she will always be my birth mother. I hate that I come from her. I hate that I can get like her. Why couldn’t I come from you?”

You sounded so young, so sad, that it broke Danneel’s heart to hear you.

“Oh, my girl,” she whispered. “I wish, with all my heart, that I could’ve carried you inside me.”

You nodded, a tear falling down your cheek.

Danneel caught it with her thumb before you had a chance to wipe it, keeping one hand cupping your face while the other held Dallas.

“Sometimes, I-” she sighed, stroking your cheek. “I feel guilty that I wasn’t there from the moment you were born.”

She was looking at you, her eye contact constant but not intimidating so you didn’t feel the need to look away. She was opening up to you and letting you in, even after everything.

“You only carry a baby in your belly for nine months,” she continued, moving her hand from your cheek to hold Dallas as she shifted her position on the bed. “But you carry your child in your heart forever. That’s the place that it counts.”

You nodded, breaking eye contact only to look down at your daughter who was watching Danneel intently.

“You do come from me,” Danneel insisted, “And from Jay. And giving birth to you… that wouldn’t have made me love you any more than I already do.”

“Really?” you whispered, and she shrugged.

“Would it make you love me any more?”

“No,” you answered instantly. “That’s crazy.”

“Okay,” she nodded. “So how about we both stop acting crazy, huh?”

You nodded, wiping your eyes with the heel of your hand.

“Alright, come here.”

Danneel held her arm out to you and you fitted yourself against her side, leaning your head on her shoulder.

You sniffed as she turned her head to kiss the top of yours, trying not to cry.

You wanted to tell her everything, but you couldn’t. Not yet.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, looking down at Dallas. “I’m not… I’m not ready.”

“That’s okay,” Danneel replied with the same softness, kissing your forehead. “I’ll be here whenever you are, my love. I’m always only a phone call away.”

Let me know what you think!

tags are closed because this always takes me forever

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#ikyw #i know your wife #jared x reader x gen #spn rpf #jared padalecki #genevieve padalecki #jensen ackles #danneel ackles #jj ackles #supernatural #yes i did steal that chat from the fosters fight me #we made a hell of a queue back there

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