#;how goddamn smart i am {bubby}

[gordonradiotv]

[dontfxckwiththescienceteam]

(viviskull) ❝ Stupid monsters. They live under your bed, but they never chip in for the rent. ❞ *Vivi @ take your pick*

New Mexico Broke My Window || Accepting!

{🔥} — ❝ See? This is one of the reasons why I sleep in a giant container full of goo. Don’t need to worry about any weird shit trying to hide under the bed or covers. ❞

❝ I mean, it’s not like Black Mesa would ever let me sleep in an actual bed, but still, you get the point. ❞ — {🧪}

@viviskull

[dividedskies]

{ ✩ }

“WALTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!”

BANG, BANG, BANG went Bubby’s fists on the inside of the glass, but the scientists has far learned their lesson about the type of glass to use to keep him contained. He had been pounding at the tube’s glass for... god, how long? It felt like hours. Everything felt worse when he was stuck in here, though. Everything felt so much longer.

“WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE I’M GOING TO BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE! I’M - I’LL--!”

Oh. He’s shaking.

{ ★ }

[cartoonsaint]

Mr. Gordon Freeman for the ask game? 👉👈

ooo! i'll answer for both Gordons, but my thoughts about the original are relatively shallow whoops

Canon Gordon Freeman

FAV CANON TRAIT: i see his work w teleportation as a metaphor for his drive :) he WILL go from point A to point B, however it can possibly be done. doesn’t always take into account ”common sense” limitations, which is sort of awesome for science but not for personal health (thank god for the suit). sometimes clever puzzle solving is the answer, but sometimes the most efficient way is to go straight through the goddamn wall.

LEAST FAV CANON TRAIT: omg, that he’s in an apocalyptic first-person shooter w zombies? SO not my thing, but somehow i ended up here anyways. mostly i think he deserves a hot shower and cozy pajamas and not to be covered w blood.

FANON PET PEEVE: i’m baffled by characterizations of him that don’t take into account the facts that he is capable of great violence as well as dorky playfulness (the snark idle animation! vent races!). also i have blocked SO many people for being weird about shipping?? like HL2’s freemance thing kinda squicked me out too but damn dudes, come on

Gordos Feetman

FAV CANON TRAIT: he's SO concerned about how he appears to other people while simultaneously being the LEAST SELF-AWARE CHARACTER IN THE SERIES, my GOSH. man has no IDEA how to talk to people: comes striding into Black Mesa like he's the one in charge (“move! move, i’m running late”), rude about the kind and friendly Dr. Coolatta, overly familiar w every scientist (even when Bubby flat out tells him to shut the fuck!), when questioned by benrey goes "i'm perfectly okay! i am perfectly healthy, and smart," like that's anything close to what a normal person would say, ever. then the first chance he gets to actually sit down with the Science Team over coffee he goes straight to, "you guys got families? ...what was your childhood like?" hello? 24 hours later he asks "what're your guys' hopes and dreams?" HELLO?? buddy the unspoken social rules... my god. he does not know them

plus his "nobody likes me. nobody likes me! i've dealt with that my whole life." like... aw dude. thank goodness the Science Team is full of weirdos too. they can jive with his off-beat social skills and seem to get that at his heart, Gordon Freeman is just a pretty nice semi-loser who wants to goof off and help take care of the people important to him ;-; ...and who will also commit murder at the slightest suggestion from others that it's fine

LEAST FAV CANON TRAIT: i wish he'd been more consistent about joshua! wayne has mentioned retconning the framed picture as just gordon being a nervous fuckin weirdo, but :( on my first watch-through i was like "hm. something about the way gordon tries to shepherd the Science Team with a weirdly optimistic, know-better attitude despite the fact that they all totally ignore him feels familiar..." and then he was like "i have a little kid!" and i went "OH NO WONDER," bc at the time i was also a 27yo spending a lot of time w a small child who preferred not to listen to my somewhat hysterical requests to not Do the Thing.

so like i'm fond of joshua's existence. and i get that trying to fit him into hl2vrai would be difficult but... plz wayne don't kill him. not again D8

FANON PET PEEVE: sometimes artists draw him like he’s 45, which is odd to me, but to be fair his model does make him look terrible for a 27yo. otherwise i wish there was more exploration of how much of a fuckin WEIRDO he is, bc despite being relatively normal compared to the Science Team he’s NOT normal compared to like anyone else. and i‘d love to see more of gordon struggling and benrey having to learn to help, rather than things only going one way. and more of him goofing off, even in awful situations! like i’m fascinated by him messing with the ribs of a dead dude on the ground next to benrey like “ooo i’m gonna touch em haha... u ever been to chili’s” buddy u r NOT normal <3

OK! thank you for asking about the gordons, it is fun to stir up my feelings about these characters and try to synthesize them this way :) anyone interested in my favetrait/leastfavetrait/fanonpetpeeve for other characters can send me an ask if they like. thanks :D <3!

[snailfen]

You've got absolute unapologetic chaos incarnate energy, you remind me of Bubby

YEEEEEEEES THAT IS EXACTLY MY VIBES!!!!!!!!!! EVERY DAY I WAKE UP AND I DO THE SILLIEST LITTLE THINGS AND GO "LET ME SHOW YOU HOW GODDAMN SMART I AM" thank you for bubby diagnosis!

[anyu-blue]

My kitties love me so much 💙

Lots of blah and personal stuff going here based on my day. Might delete later, but for now I shouldn't bottle it up. Tmi following.

Worked long and hard enough that my socks adhered to my feet tonight and that was mildly skin- crawling... And in that time- a contributing factor for sure was- a guy I went to high school with came in.. again.. as customers do, but honestly.. not all of them are quite so.. yeah. Loves to go off about how 'pretty' I've become compared to how I was in highschool. I accept the compliment gladly as it is... But I would appreciate it being given without the extra bits... Which are fairly insulting if not to me, to his GF whom I hope has a good head on her shoulders...

I'm flattered he would leave his GF for me because I'm that 'pretty'. I'm flattered he thinks I deserve a good man and a decent life. Truly even I cannot help the color that rises to my cheeks when served such compliments on my natural beauty as a woman- there's never any makeup in the way. Ever.

I appreciate his compliments as shallow as that possibly makes him.

But all the same.. he is the type of guy I cannot dissuade.. he's another to add to my list. And God damn if I don't feel absolutely guilty for that.

Why should I? Why should I feel guilty for turning them down?

I don't really.. not for that is it is on the surface... My guilt lays under the surface...

I attract men as I am- no trying, no searching, no interest, generally- and each one I turn down again and again and again...

And I'd be lying if each time it doesn't cross my mind... "What a waste."

A waste of their time. A waste of their interest. A waste of all that I have naturally right at this moment.

I feel sorry for the way I am. GUILTY. Oh so guilty for it...

I so desperately wanted to be normal. To have my own children, naturally. To contribute properly to society in such ways... And yet I have jumped up and clinged even more desperately to any and every reason to avoid it so so easily. Too young. Not enough finances. Too much pain (cyst). Oh look a twisted organ and more pain (cystS).

...

But I know the reason why. I didn't for a while, and I did not understand it for even longer.. but I do now. And guys like that make me hate myself for it. Such a waste.

But goddamn it!! I shouldn't hate myself!! I don't WANT to. I am NOT a waste. Certainly not to society; I contribute my fair share.

*sigh*

...

But here we are. Compliments in, offers turned down, lies and excuses upheld...

I'd be lying if I said saying it out loud doesn't freak me out. I'd be lying if I said writing it down, thinking it, or knowing it doesn't freak me the hell out. I want to be RIGHT... To be CORRECT... To be... Just.. natural. Normal. But I'm not.

I don't want to be a waste of a body... I don't want to be this... Wrong.

Better yet, I don't want to be PERCEIVED as wrong.

I'm so tired of it. I'm tired of being afraid of it. I'm tried of being more comfortable basically lying to those I love and trust in favor of never being rejected.. of being 'safe' psychically and emotionally. I'm so tired of them seeing this THING that's all wrong when it can be made right and could be loved just the same or even more.

I'm tired of lying without ever saying a word.

Look.. I'm nb. There we go. Easy peasy. Easy as pie. There it is. Whatever.

And damn it all if I don't Absolutely DESPISE all that word means for me and everyone else in the world who uses it. I hate saying it. I don't WANT to BE it (in the sense that I am somehow 'wrong' or 'broken' cuz I'm not). But I am.

Time and Time and Time again I reject these men.. even a few I am attracted to.. but if I were ever to tell them why.. I could die. What the fuck is wrong with them?

Luckily I have a few that don't want to kill me or be all nasty about it... But all the same literally every one of them is like 'I'll be with you before all that!!'

Dude.. seriously. No. Thank you, I'm flattered you like me as I am, but no. It doesn't work like that. You can't accept me for all I am, most definitely definitely not happening. Thank you.

More than anything, I'm just me. I generally act according to how I'm expected to because that's how I was raised and I have a fairly soft personality anyway... But I'm just me.

I'm afraid of saying it to almost everyone, but.. honestly, if there's one thing I can't wait to be when I grow up, it's being a wise-cracking old fool. I can't wait. They're my favorite people. I wanna be that when I grow up.

A soft, genuine, wise-cracking, old grandpa. Yeah. That's me.

I mean I'm a lovely young woman right now- intelligent and capable to boot- but it's just not me.. you know? It's my skin... A shell of sorts. It's totally my body, don't get me wrong, but it's not me. I'm me, and always going to be me, but people don't see it yet.

... ugh.. my head hurts XP

But oh well... At least I know my kitties will always love me. Heck I sighed while eating earlier just thinking about writing this up and apparently it was too hard. Kizzy was like *boop* immediately at my side. Got up from his sitty place in the kitchen as soon as I did and was at my side mowing, purring, and bonking me with his head. He's a smart kitty. He's a good kitty. He's my bubbies. He's also just now decided my shin is a great body pillow. Silly kitty cat XD ow. You heavy dude.

But to him I'm me. And I'm always going to be me to him. And I'm always going to be the one who gives him the best scritches and his treats and his loves.

I'm me to Whisper too. Though.. she's more of a spaz and just kinda does her own thing. She still trusts me more than anyone else in the house. I'm always going to be me to her too.

I'm me to my kitties, I love them so much, and they love me very much.

[gordonradiotv]

...I was referring to the spider thing you fought in xen

That was a nad

[dontfxckwiththescienceteam]

I can't believe that Bubby is nothing but a discount Shadow the Hedgehog

{🔥} —  ❝ DISCOUNT- you know what, no. I’m much better than that overgrown rat, alright? ❞

❝ Sure he’s the so-called ‘ultimate lifeform’, but can he do this? ❞

Without any warning whatsoever, xe turns into a blue car & proceeds to do donuts in the middle of the road. — {🧪}

[dontfxckwiththescienceteam]

What type of lonely are you?

Loneliness born of Anger

you learned from a young age you are not like others, and others hate you for it. you've been mocked and tormented your whole life, and it birthed a violence in your heart. you yell at your younger siblings when they slip up. you don't want them to suffer the same fate you did. at once, you are both miles above and miles below your peers. you are not polite. people no longer dislike you because of you, but for your biting words. it's better this way, after all. at least now you know it's your own fault.

Tagged by: stole it off the dash

Tagging: whoever wants to do this!

[dontfxckwiththescienceteam]

((Bubby used to live in the dorms of Black Mesa before the events of the Resonance Cascade. The other scientists never let Bubby outside because not only was he made using highly classified & experimental methods, but also because of Bubby’s anomalous properties (pyrokinesis, ability to transform into a car, etc.). He recently bought himself a house after the ResCas using some of the hush money that Mr. Coolatta gave him.)) 

[dontfxckwiththescienceteam]

puppetloverrulez replied to your post

(viviskull) "Now that ya mention it, What's it like sleeping in a tube anyway?" She already had her chin rested out upon her palms. Her dull hues flared up with interest upon the other. "Is it any comfy, I take it?"

@viviskull​

{🔥} — ❝ Eh, it’s not that comfortable but it’s not too uncomfortable either. ❞ 

Xe waved xyr hand in a “so-so” motion.

❝ I mean, it’s as comfy as it gets for floating around in a giant tube full of cyan colored goop. ❞

❝ It’s alright unless I move around a lot, because then I might end up hitting my head or limbs against the glass & that’s uncomfortable as hell. ❞ — {🧪}

[dividedskies]

@nopassport​ asked: ✗ for bubby from gordon,

what’s wrong? | accepting

{ ✩ }

”Wh--Gordon?”

It would quickly become evident that something’s not right with Bubby. He was... quiet. Reserved. And when spoken to, Bubby jumps. Muscles are tense, ready to spring at any moment, and he even backs away from Gordon when asked that.

What’s wrong?

Everything. Everything is wrong.

“I - I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m - Nothing! Nothing’s wrong! Why - Fine! Fine, I’m fine!”

Is that a look of fear in his eyes?

{ ★ }

[dividedskies]

@nopassport​ asked: Gordon had left to run to the store -- get some groceries, and what not. For the brief time he would be gone, he had left Joshua with Bubby. Already, while the older man sat on the couch, the toddler climbed up beside him and just. Stared at him for a few moments... before beginning to reach for his glasses -- something Gordon warned Bubby that he would try to do.

{ ✩ }

Bubby was probably the least qualified to be dealing with children.

What the fuck was he supposed to do with this... tiny human? Gordon just said to him to make sure that Joshua didn’t get into anything or hurt himself, and that he would be back within the hour. “Oh,” he had added, “he’s probably going to try to grab your glasses.”

“What the fuck. Why.”

“He’s a toddler. That’s what they do. Just be gentle.”

And now, said toddler was sitting next to him. When Joshua stared, Bubby stared back, not fully sure what to say.

Then Joshua started to reach for his glasses.

“What the hell do you want these things for, anyway?” Bubby leaned back, away from the child, one hand on his glasses and the other trying to keep the child at bay.

{ ★ }

[dontfxckwiththescienceteam]

{🔥} — ❝ ...you know, after all the shit I’ve seen at Black Mesa, stuff like this really shouldn’t surprise me anymore. ❞

❝ But this is the first time I’ve heard about someone eating a god & I have no idea how the fuck I should be reacting to this. ❞ — {🧪}

[dontfxckwiththescienceteam]

Naughty or Nice?

{🔥} — ❝ Sheesh. You help destroy the entire US Military one time... ❞

Tagged by: Stole it!

Tagging: Steal this from me!

[dividedskies]

@sodaprop​ asked: 👀 how do you feel about dr. coomer's wife, bubby? well, ex-wife, but just because the marriage is over doesn't mean his feelings for her are over, too!

Honest answers only | accepting

{ ✩ }

"She’s a bitch and she better not show her face around here again or I might tear it off.”

There’s an odd gleam in his eye, a different spark than the usual raging fire. Something... personal.

“Now some people might say that’s rude to say about someone. And it is. But there’s really no better word for her.”

Bubby shifts uncomfortably, eyes darkened, voice lowering. Like he’s afraid someone’s going to hear him. “Listen, you didn’t know her. She treated Harold like trash. Told him to ‘get a real job’ instead of practicing boxing. Told him that he ‘wasn’t working hard enough’ when Harold was about to fucking collapse. She demanded to know wherever he went, whatever he bought--with his own damn money!--whoever he was with. She hated him talking to anyone else but her. She told him that he was ‘nothing’ without her, that only she could ever make him happy, that he would never find anyone else...”

Lip curls into a snarl, sharp teeth flashing. “That woman was a monster. I’ve never seen Harold more miserable than when he was with her. He was... he was a completely different person. All of the life had just been... beaten out of him. He wasn’t Dr. Coomer anymore. Just some... shell of who he used to be.

“And when he came in the day she told him she wanted a divorce...” He was a wreck. It was the first time Bubby had ever seen him cry. It was the first time Bubby had ever initiated a hug.

“... He’s better, now. Not... not perfect. But better. And if that woman knows what’s good for her, she won’t ever get near Harold again.”

{ ★ }