#;a man with a great green jacket and a big sword (richard sharpe)

[lacomandante]

Seeing photos of Antonia going around and I have to add these two to the collection. I desperately wish we had more photos of baby Antonia because she's so goddamn cute!!!!! Look at her SMILE!

[airoasis]

Everything Wrong With Captain Marvel In 16 Minutes Or Less

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/everything-wrong-with-captain-marvel-in-16-minutes-or-less/

Everything Wrong With Captain Marvel In 16 Minutes Or Less

never much like the Stanley cameos and definitely don’t like logos but this is goddamn touching but while we’re on the subject of opening logos for movies let’s frame it this way imagine buying the new Taylor Swift album but before you can hear me you have to first listen to 20 seconds of a universal music group audio jingle it would probably be rocking and full of tight harmonies but it would still forever be 20 seconds of norway’s standing between you and your music that’s what opening studio logos do for movies place my hands so angry oh my god they give us the name of the city the description of that city’s importance and then a third line with an utterly incomprehensible series of letter and number characters do you know what time it is Jesus Marvel movies young Dumbledore young Pope Sherlock Holmes is there any beloved institution that Jude Law hasn’t infiltrated anything you know funny how I was thinking the same thing about this chatty friendly fight scene which happens in every movie there’s nothing dangerous warrior an emotion not even a nuclear weapon a landmine sharp sword sniper’s bullet jagged rocks meat from a plant that once had an e.coli outbreak control your impulses so easy miss start using this there’s so much goddamn pedantic mansplaining in the beginning of this movie that I fast forwarded to the end where Carol blasts the Balrog and watched it three times in a row future VR requires artificial tendrils that get to know you better than your spouse just because it looks kind of cool doesn’t make it practical so the burrito supreme searches your thoughts and becomes the person that you’re closest to before communicating I mean contact got murdered for doing that at the end of the movie so long the scrolls have invaded yet another border planet this time Topher already lost me dude if you think for one minute I’m getting all this down plus the three or four other names organizations planets he mentions in this briefing you sadly overestimate my ability to give it well marvel do you read me anybody copy as technologically advanced as they are at a Cree or apparently still reliant on 1990s cellphone reception this is some dusty furry dust things suspense I’m no expert but maybe if you spent less time screaming you’d be able to do more scrolling no one will be seated during the bunch of old portion of the movie some stuff is happening just try and keep track of the purple in the green they’re on different sides I think movie does a great job advertising the Air Force you don’t now the movie does pile on a bit heavy with this stuff about her constantly being told she’s not good enough I get that people are told that but in movie form maybe we don’t need to see it a dozen times to get the point okay fine we need some back story on why Carroll’s so driven to be the best but this exposition brain probe really feels more like a Nike commercial than an MCU film okay wait can you change the way the camera of your memory tilts so that you can pick up fine details let’s just like the zoom and enhance cliche but for your brain dr.

Wendy Lawson that’s her so Carol can hear the scrolls that are digging around in her memories and she in memory reacts to it you can’t change an event by remembering it right fright she got knocked out cold and captured on that planet with a single blast of one of these space Tasers now she’s impervious to them that’s not exactly full-sized so I guess we can call this a little helm scream in case you thought this movie’s 90s references we’re gonna be subtle she crashed lands into a king blockbuster huh movies playing this is a visual gag but was Carol seriously gonna immediately shoot any non-threatening presents in this environment what if this were the janitor doing a late-night cleaning this top shelf here goes hudsucker proxy hook something else that I’m pretty sure is hamburger hill then first night then jumping jack flash jr.

And just cause I worked at three different blockbusters in my lifetime and you could fire four there you have one job and I think half these movies on the Shelf star Sean Connery and Arnold Schwarzenegger how likely in 1995 is it that a blockbuster would be advertising babe with a giant poster and standee when that was only released in August of that year the church wasn’t coming out on video at this point honestly we take care of those dirty looks is quite simply the worst dry-cleaning advertising slogan I could even fathom why does a dry-cleaning service even need a slogan look at you be better off just writing your hours of operation talk about some nuclear yadda yadda how the hell does outdated 90s tech and a payphone and turn into a communicator with the ability to send signals to her people millions of miles away in space all did it book work sure she could make a space phone out of that but she couldn’t bypass Ma Bell in the ill communication once it’s real aliens find the earth to be way less than acceptable cliche okay if this call is urgent enough to use the sirens why not take the cops and shield until after daybreak to respond why was shield alerted at all it’s a broken window in a fucking blockbuster okay this d aging technology has officially gotten creepy as hell I’ll be honest Jana fired Sam Jackson looks pretty awesome here and I am terrified of how that technology will definitely be used in the future this is the most convenient Road near a train situation any city planner ever cooked up in pursuit and she should be easy to track considering she’ll be the only person in Los Angeles to take the train sure Stanley could have been reading Kevin Smith’s mole rat script in 1995 the movie came out on October 20th 1995 so this could be early in the year when it was about to get shot or something the problem is the record story just left Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collie and the infinite sadness being advertised here is coming soon or already out came out October 23rd 1995 and while it’s insane that those two things were only three days apart Stan Lee would not have been reading the script in October unless he was just getting nostalgic about his cameo for the residents of LA to jump to an old lady’s needs and all but how is this even possible you’re telling me that after all the kicking Carol’s done three regular ask commuters could temporarily restrain her fight chase on top of a moving train I feel like I’ve never seen that before except always of course it is tunnels the only logical choice once you’ve opted for fight on top of a train what I’m still here at the blockbuster Coulson saw fury take off forever ago so why is he just calling it also look I think the young ending effect they’re using on Sam Jackson is amazing but they must have used all the resources on that because Clark Craig’s face makes Jeff Bridges and Tron Legacy look like fine art look movie no one in a major city subway terminal would look this hard and long and a girl in a weird costume subway terminals are beacons for folks in weird costumes I rode a train once with spider-man and Marilyn Monroe and a guy that look exactly like Richard Grieco only I don’t think that was a costume I think that was just Richard Grieco there you go now that no one can tell that’s an alien no one will ask questions about the body with a jacket thrown over its face inside the wrecked car ah cool the doohickey that the scroll dropped on the train gets inserted into the whatchamacallit and immediately displays plot convenient footage perfectly edited for maximum exposition alta vista internet cafes modems big computer monitors wasn’t 1995 hilarious but seriously how would carol have the first goddamn clue how to work this fad and sure the motorcycle guy was an asshole and probably deserved it but what did this vintage boutique ever do to anyone hey how’s your eye that’s a fine yeah they’re not gonna hem handedly try and shoehorn a reason for Fury’s eye patch into this movie I got word on a motorcycle thief that fits her description but instead of immediately following up on that lead I’m gonna waste valuable time at shield espousing this clunky dialogue might even drink a tear wine and stop by Sam Goody’s to pick up a jagged little pill CD before I act on any of this information toggling Scrolls can only some recent memories of their host bodies that is literally the definition of a stupid restriction to put on an ability just for plot or hero reasons why should they even be able to access any memories if all they’re doing is copycatting where are you born Huntsville Alabama does this do Carroll except to provide a little more backstory for fury is she able to verify this bolt in any way Ruth you’re not a scroll Carol is a dick – what if this is a jukebox from the 90s has to be 30% ac/dc CDs 40% Tom Petty CDs 29% journey CDs and 1% Van Morrison CD is that a communicator yeah state of the art – wig agent which would in no way and work in a bunker like this but I’m gonna keep making these nostalgic references as long as Marvel pays me to do so Oh how did this cat get into this official government covert facility and did they know he was a flirt come if so why is he out roaming the halls hey that’s exactly how Eminem writes his lyrics I’ll assume Lawson was writing the follow-up to Stan I want to question her along that sounds well evil and/or dirty all I know is we take them in to dead or alive dead or alive yeah agreed that’s excessive it makes no sense unless your bosses bosses a scroll poly these are the loudest lights I’ve ever heard can you imagine the constant jump scares you’d have to endure if you were collating these records the CGI cat is a king abomination and yes the actress is allergic and they had to do a CGI cat in some places but just take twenty thousand dollars of the money you’re spending on unifying Sam Jackson and put it into realistic in the cat god damn also they ran into that cat on level five in the storage room and somehow it ran several floors away from that position and got into the hangar and onto a prototype aircraft that they would eventually use Maria Rambo so how do we get to Louisiana I’m sorry but the amount of information they’ve gleaned from a few seconds of glancing through the records like Maria’s exact address is such bull that this movie is actively starting to stink what is Ronan looked like a character from mist here Carol appeared almost lifelike on the hologram earlier and even in full color his accuser tech still using dial-up or something she flashes little moments but I can’t tell what’s real I’ll tell you what’s real someone on this movie set design team thinks this single mother living alone with her daughter keeps a bowl on the table with 16 lemons in it that’s real that happened you’d better come take a look at this cliche that was all that survived the crash well that’s a lie you’re telling me a prototype aircraft crashed and every single piece of it disintegrated into dust including the rest of this dog tag but not this tiny corner of dog tag you know you really should be kinder to your neighbors you never know when you’re gonna need to borrow some sugar this is pretty hilarious but it’s also ridiculous to think that the scrolls stopped off at a fast-food joint to pick up some burgers and shakes on the way to Louisiana and how would you know about the sugar borrowing habits of earthly suburban Knights this soon into your stay on the planet that was before on you you uh before I knew what made you different from me honest Talos had to have gotten this information before the confrontation at the Pegasus base since that’s where he heard the recorder so if he knew that then why did he try to kill Furies ass he knew they were working together and now he’s all peaceful I actually really like this characters turn but given the sequence of events it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense what’s happening it’s loading windows 95 okay so Jude Law shot Lawson before she could blow up the ship but it takes like 15 seconds for him to show up at a distance in all this smoke plus their obstructed somewhat by the crash ship and they’re on the down slope of a hill how did he know where to aim Carol got her powers by being fantastic forward by the warp engine but the energy only hit her despite yon raw and about the same distance away she assumed his power she’s coming with us okay I’d maybe buy that this recording spurred Carol’s memory to recall the crash but she’s being unconscious here so how would she know this part quick question why did they leave the main house and all go to the one day from collapse cabin to listen to the audio it makes a nice shot but it makes no sense from a human being standpoint is this houses only computer out in the decrepit barn why does Talos still have Keller’s jacket on we’ve seen that when they morph into other humans they already have their clothes on but now that he’s turned back into his natural shape that jacket should be gone right she wanted you to help us find the core and why the hell didn’t she tell Carol about the reason for the mission in the first place I know it would have been weird to come out as an alien but they were already in top-secret mode this withholding of information both makes about as much sense as what happened to Poe in the last Jedi did you hear me man this depiction of the friendship between two strong independent women that is emotional but not corny is long overdue and it’s about goddamn time that Marvel showed it so I’m gonna take us in off because I’m totally a social justice warrior or virtue signal or whatever the latest term that’s complimentary but is being used to be derogatory take it off this moonlight shot makes no sense the pole at the bottom right of the shot shows a shadow that matches up with the moon’s location but then the spaceship thing that veers flew here has a shadow that suggests another even stronger light source off-screen to the right when they were handing out kids they gave up a toughest one lieutenant trouble so is everything cool now like KanCare remember everything about her life on earth black box recording was fucking magic what purpose does this function of the spacesuit serve like some cream was almost finished designing it and the supreme intelligence poked its head in and was like don’t forget to add the unnecessary color wheel why did they bring the can captivate this cat will lead her freak out on fury and cut his face but he doesn’t want to do it here in zero gravity which is baffling because I’ve owned a cat before a lawnmower can freak them out a clap of thunder can freak them out suspending in zero gravity but but have them clawing out the eyeballs of all the motherfuckers nearby until they were on solid footing the cloaking activated holy balls is there anything this magical wrist doohickey can’t do can it order takeout purchase ebooks access free porn ah Who am I kidding of course it can access free porn in her note she called us a tesseract you know I’m fine with the timeline of the tesseract the idea that Howard Stark helped found Pegasus in the 80s and handed it over to this project is totally okay I’m just tired of the fucking tesseract it shows up and seemingly every movie being on tesseract and stuff she’s a pinball wizard it’s gotta be a twist a pinball wizard has got such a supple wrist evil dude picked up the cat carried it all the way here and just tosses it casually and that is a ton of wasted effort what did you do to your uniform he got in her head just like we thought when Carol’s been calling with updates constantly since she’s been on earth and there’s no way they would know that the scroll to flipped his jacket it’s killer by the way does the supreme intelligence seriously have the bandwidth and the inclination for pithy one-liners species flirty threat hi so I’ll calmly place a cat’s eyes muzzle over its mouth and I just happen to be carrying on my person without us you’re only human flesh you may be you’re only human to me mistakes this montage of various Carol’s getting up after falling down is excessive and on the nose and over-the-top anjala you were reborn fierce because every sci-fi movie apparently needs an alien race to miss read something and call it something else like Star Trek with Vedra Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes with kolima this goes on for some time I will say this about the movie it waits until the perfect time to unveil Carol’s true powers and this is a goosebumps inducing moment so it absolutely deserves us in off having said that this reveals sets up the same issue as DC has with Superman Carol is all-powerful she hasn’t discovered everything she could do yet but she’s pretty much unkillable now and future movies and game mm we’ll have to do a ton of hand waving and marginalization for her to be included at all into the rest of the MCU okay let playing on just a girl during the climactic scene of this movie that’s more on the nose than anything ever literally the only more on the nose song you could have chosen is Meredith Brooks bitch or maybe Barbie girl or Cyndi Lauper’s well the movie never explains it or even suggests it but jaan raghav errantly has the ability to manipulate metal like magneto and I needs more backstory than anything in this movie that you actually gave a backstory fool god damn huh did that happen the movie is directly contradicting its own previous implications about the power differential here oh they’re dogfighting in the canyons just like an independent Sky Captain and the world of to marvel dude Carroll may be all-powerful but does she also have a GPS built into her headpiece how the hell did she know exactly where yawn Rhonda DUP she didn’t even see him crash poop to me you can beat me this is a great moment but it was also super fucking obvious that it was gonna go down like this this is basically Indy taking out the sword guy with the gun and Raiders of the Lost Ark motherf lurkin I’ll be back before you know it she will not for emergencies only okay and real emergencies too not like of an alien species is invading one of your most populous cities and your shadow government is about to nuke the god of it as a result and really it would take a giant stroke of some luck and some space gravity to avoid total annihilation you could totally handle that you think you can find others like her we found her and we weren’t even looking okay the logic here is stunning and yes they do end up finding more heroes but it’s not because they already existed Carol was a one-in-a-billion fluke banner still hasn’t tested gamma radiation yet Tony has to be kidnapped and build a suit in a cave black widow is just a human badass and Hawkeye is decent too okay with arrows just how amazing with this cat vomit scene be if we didn’t know where the tesseract went during the sequence on lawson’s lab it might have felt worth sitting through the 12 minutes of credits might have there I said it I like a cat ah I’m just a free we have Vincent yeah we happy your father and I were just discussing his day at work why don’t you tell our daughter about it honey Janie today I quit my job and then I told my boss to go himself and then i blackmailed them for almost $60,000 past nice pair your father seems to think this kind of behavior something to be proud of and your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a king prisoner while she keeps my in a mason jar under the sink tell the supreme intelligence that I’m coming to end it you Tom I’m coming and hell’s coming with me before we get started does anyone want to get out you want to play blind man go walk with the shepherd me my eyes are wide just talk

[batterymonster2021]

Everything Wrong With Captain Marvel In 16 Minutes Or Less

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/everything-wrong-with-captain-marvel-in-16-minutes-or-less/

Everything Wrong With Captain Marvel In 16 Minutes Or Less

never much like the Stanley cameos and definitely don’t like logos but this is goddamn touching but while we’re on the subject of opening logos for movies let’s frame it this way imagine buying the new Taylor Swift album but before you can hear me you have to first listen to 20 seconds of a universal music group audio jingle it would probably be rocking and full of tight harmonies but it would still forever be 20 seconds of norway’s standing between you and your music that’s what opening studio logos do for movies place my hands so angry oh my god they give us the name of the city the description of that city’s importance and then a third line with an utterly incomprehensible series of letter and number characters do you know what time it is Jesus Marvel movies young Dumbledore young Pope Sherlock Holmes is there any beloved institution that Jude Law hasn’t infiltrated anything you know funny how I was thinking the same thing about this chatty friendly fight scene which happens in every movie there’s nothing dangerous warrior an emotion not even a nuclear weapon a landmine sharp sword sniper’s bullet jagged rocks meat from a plant that once had an e.coli outbreak control your impulses so easy miss start using this there’s so much goddamn pedantic mansplaining in the beginning of this movie that I fast forwarded to the end where Carol blasts the Balrog and watched it three times in a row future VR requires artificial tendrils that get to know you better than your spouse just because it looks kind of cool doesn’t make it practical so the burrito supreme searches your thoughts and becomes the person that you’re closest to before communicating I mean contact got murdered for doing that at the end of the movie so long the scrolls have invaded yet another border planet this time Topher already lost me dude if you think for one minute I’m getting all this down plus the three or four other names organizations planets he mentions in this briefing you sadly overestimate my ability to give it well marvel do you read me anybody copy as technologically advanced as they are at a Cree or apparently still reliant on 1990s cellphone reception this is some dusty furry dust things suspense I’m no expert but maybe if you spent less time screaming you’d be able to do more scrolling no one will be seated during the bunch of old portion of the movie some stuff is happening just try and keep track of the purple in the green they’re on different sides I think movie does a great job advertising the Air Force you don’t now the movie does pile on a bit heavy with this stuff about her constantly being told she’s not good enough I get that people are told that but in movie form maybe we don’t need to see it a dozen times to get the point okay fine we need some back story on why Carroll’s so driven to be the best but this exposition brain probe really feels more like a Nike commercial than an MCU film okay wait can you change the way the camera of your memory tilts so that you can pick up fine details let’s just like the zoom and enhance cliche but for your brain dr.

Wendy Lawson that’s her so Carol can hear the scrolls that are digging around in her memories and she in memory reacts to it you can’t change an event by remembering it right fright she got knocked out cold and captured on that planet with a single blast of one of these space Tasers now she’s impervious to them that’s not exactly full-sized so I guess we can call this a little helm scream in case you thought this movie’s 90s references we’re gonna be subtle she crashed lands into a king blockbuster huh movies playing this is a visual gag but was Carol seriously gonna immediately shoot any non-threatening presents in this environment what if this were the janitor doing a late-night cleaning this top shelf here goes hudsucker proxy hook something else that I’m pretty sure is hamburger hill then first night then jumping jack flash jr.

And just cause I worked at three different blockbusters in my lifetime and you could fire four there you have one job and I think half these movies on the Shelf star Sean Connery and Arnold Schwarzenegger how likely in 1995 is it that a blockbuster would be advertising babe with a giant poster and standee when that was only released in August of that year the church wasn’t coming out on video at this point honestly we take care of those dirty looks is quite simply the worst dry-cleaning advertising slogan I could even fathom why does a dry-cleaning service even need a slogan look at you be better off just writing your hours of operation talk about some nuclear yadda yadda how the hell does outdated 90s tech and a payphone and turn into a communicator with the ability to send signals to her people millions of miles away in space all did it book work sure she could make a space phone out of that but she couldn’t bypass Ma Bell in the ill communication once it’s real aliens find the earth to be way less than acceptable cliche okay if this call is urgent enough to use the sirens why not take the cops and shield until after daybreak to respond why was shield alerted at all it’s a broken window in a fucking blockbuster okay this d aging technology has officially gotten creepy as hell I’ll be honest Jana fired Sam Jackson looks pretty awesome here and I am terrified of how that technology will definitely be used in the future this is the most convenient Road near a train situation any city planner ever cooked up in pursuit and she should be easy to track considering she’ll be the only person in Los Angeles to take the train sure Stanley could have been reading Kevin Smith’s mole rat script in 1995 the movie came out on October 20th 1995 so this could be early in the year when it was about to get shot or something the problem is the record story just left Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collie and the infinite sadness being advertised here is coming soon or already out came out October 23rd 1995 and while it’s insane that those two things were only three days apart Stan Lee would not have been reading the script in October unless he was just getting nostalgic about his cameo for the residents of LA to jump to an old lady’s needs and all but how is this even possible you’re telling me that after all the kicking Carol’s done three regular ask commuters could temporarily restrain her fight chase on top of a moving train I feel like I’ve never seen that before except always of course it is tunnels the only logical choice once you’ve opted for fight on top of a train what I’m still here at the blockbuster Coulson saw fury take off forever ago so why is he just calling it also look I think the young ending effect they’re using on Sam Jackson is amazing but they must have used all the resources on that because Clark Craig’s face makes Jeff Bridges and Tron Legacy look like fine art look movie no one in a major city subway terminal would look this hard and long and a girl in a weird costume subway terminals are beacons for folks in weird costumes I rode a train once with spider-man and Marilyn Monroe and a guy that look exactly like Richard Grieco only I don’t think that was a costume I think that was just Richard Grieco there you go now that no one can tell that’s an alien no one will ask questions about the body with a jacket thrown over its face inside the wrecked car ah cool the doohickey that the scroll dropped on the train gets inserted into the whatchamacallit and immediately displays plot convenient footage perfectly edited for maximum exposition alta vista internet cafes modems big computer monitors wasn’t 1995 hilarious but seriously how would carol have the first goddamn clue how to work this fad and sure the motorcycle guy was an asshole and probably deserved it but what did this vintage boutique ever do to anyone hey how’s your eye that’s a fine yeah they’re not gonna hem handedly try and shoehorn a reason for Fury’s eye patch into this movie I got word on a motorcycle thief that fits her description but instead of immediately following up on that lead I’m gonna waste valuable time at shield espousing this clunky dialogue might even drink a tear wine and stop by Sam Goody’s to pick up a jagged little pill CD before I act on any of this information toggling Scrolls can only some recent memories of their host bodies that is literally the definition of a stupid restriction to put on an ability just for plot or hero reasons why should they even be able to access any memories if all they’re doing is copycatting where are you born Huntsville Alabama does this do Carroll except to provide a little more backstory for fury is she able to verify this bolt in any way Ruth you’re not a scroll Carol is a dick – what if this is a jukebox from the 90s has to be 30% ac/dc CDs 40% Tom Petty CDs 29% journey CDs and 1% Van Morrison CD is that a communicator yeah state of the art – wig agent which would in no way and work in a bunker like this but I’m gonna keep making these nostalgic references as long as Marvel pays me to do so Oh how did this cat get into this official government covert facility and did they know he was a flirt come if so why is he out roaming the halls hey that’s exactly how Eminem writes his lyrics I’ll assume Lawson was writing the follow-up to Stan I want to question her along that sounds well evil and/or dirty all I know is we take them in to dead or alive dead or alive yeah agreed that’s excessive it makes no sense unless your bosses bosses a scroll poly these are the loudest lights I’ve ever heard can you imagine the constant jump scares you’d have to endure if you were collating these records the CGI cat is a king abomination and yes the actress is allergic and they had to do a CGI cat in some places but just take twenty thousand dollars of the money you’re spending on unifying Sam Jackson and put it into realistic in the cat god damn also they ran into that cat on level five in the storage room and somehow it ran several floors away from that position and got into the hangar and onto a prototype aircraft that they would eventually use Maria Rambo so how do we get to Louisiana I’m sorry but the amount of information they’ve gleaned from a few seconds of glancing through the records like Maria’s exact address is such bull that this movie is actively starting to stink what is Ronan looked like a character from mist here Carol appeared almost lifelike on the hologram earlier and even in full color his accuser tech still using dial-up or something she flashes little moments but I can’t tell what’s real I’ll tell you what’s real someone on this movie set design team thinks this single mother living alone with her daughter keeps a bowl on the table with 16 lemons in it that’s real that happened you’d better come take a look at this cliche that was all that survived the crash well that’s a lie you’re telling me a prototype aircraft crashed and every single piece of it disintegrated into dust including the rest of this dog tag but not this tiny corner of dog tag you know you really should be kinder to your neighbors you never know when you’re gonna need to borrow some sugar this is pretty hilarious but it’s also ridiculous to think that the scrolls stopped off at a fast-food joint to pick up some burgers and shakes on the way to Louisiana and how would you know about the sugar borrowing habits of earthly suburban Knights this soon into your stay on the planet that was before on you you uh before I knew what made you different from me honest Talos had to have gotten this information before the confrontation at the Pegasus base since that’s where he heard the recorder so if he knew that then why did he try to kill Furies ass he knew they were working together and now he’s all peaceful I actually really like this characters turn but given the sequence of events it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense what’s happening it’s loading windows 95 okay so Jude Law shot Lawson before she could blow up the ship but it takes like 15 seconds for him to show up at a distance in all this smoke plus their obstructed somewhat by the crash ship and they’re on the down slope of a hill how did he know where to aim Carol got her powers by being fantastic forward by the warp engine but the energy only hit her despite yon raw and about the same distance away she assumed his power she’s coming with us okay I’d maybe buy that this recording spurred Carol’s memory to recall the crash but she’s being unconscious here so how would she know this part quick question why did they leave the main house and all go to the one day from collapse cabin to listen to the audio it makes a nice shot but it makes no sense from a human being standpoint is this houses only computer out in the decrepit barn why does Talos still have Keller’s jacket on we’ve seen that when they morph into other humans they already have their clothes on but now that he’s turned back into his natural shape that jacket should be gone right she wanted you to help us find the core and why the hell didn’t she tell Carol about the reason for the mission in the first place I know it would have been weird to come out as an alien but they were already in top-secret mode this withholding of information both makes about as much sense as what happened to Poe in the last Jedi did you hear me man this depiction of the friendship between two strong independent women that is emotional but not corny is long overdue and it’s about goddamn time that Marvel showed it so I’m gonna take us in off because I’m totally a social justice warrior or virtue signal or whatever the latest term that’s complimentary but is being used to be derogatory take it off this moonlight shot makes no sense the pole at the bottom right of the shot shows a shadow that matches up with the moon’s location but then the spaceship thing that veers flew here has a shadow that suggests another even stronger light source off-screen to the right when they were handing out kids they gave up a toughest one lieutenant trouble so is everything cool now like KanCare remember everything about her life on earth black box recording was fucking magic what purpose does this function of the spacesuit serve like some cream was almost finished designing it and the supreme intelligence poked its head in and was like don’t forget to add the unnecessary color wheel why did they bring the can captivate this cat will lead her freak out on fury and cut his face but he doesn’t want to do it here in zero gravity which is baffling because I’ve owned a cat before a lawnmower can freak them out a clap of thunder can freak them out suspending in zero gravity but but have them clawing out the eyeballs of all the motherfuckers nearby until they were on solid footing the cloaking activated holy balls is there anything this magical wrist doohickey can’t do can it order takeout purchase ebooks access free porn ah Who am I kidding of course it can access free porn in her note she called us a tesseract you know I’m fine with the timeline of the tesseract the idea that Howard Stark helped found Pegasus in the 80s and handed it over to this project is totally okay I’m just tired of the fucking tesseract it shows up and seemingly every movie being on tesseract and stuff she’s a pinball wizard it’s gotta be a twist a pinball wizard has got such a supple wrist evil dude picked up the cat carried it all the way here and just tosses it casually and that is a ton of wasted effort what did you do to your uniform he got in her head just like we thought when Carol’s been calling with updates constantly since she’s been on earth and there’s no way they would know that the scroll to flipped his jacket it’s killer by the way does the supreme intelligence seriously have the bandwidth and the inclination for pithy one-liners species flirty threat hi so I’ll calmly place a cat’s eyes muzzle over its mouth and I just happen to be carrying on my person without us you’re only human flesh you may be you’re only human to me mistakes this montage of various Carol’s getting up after falling down is excessive and on the nose and over-the-top anjala you were reborn fierce because every sci-fi movie apparently needs an alien race to miss read something and call it something else like Star Trek with Vedra Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes with kolima this goes on for some time I will say this about the movie it waits until the perfect time to unveil Carol’s true powers and this is a goosebumps inducing moment so it absolutely deserves us in off having said that this reveals sets up the same issue as DC has with Superman Carol is all-powerful she hasn’t discovered everything she could do yet but she’s pretty much unkillable now and future movies and game mm we’ll have to do a ton of hand waving and marginalization for her to be included at all into the rest of the MCU okay let playing on just a girl during the climactic scene of this movie that’s more on the nose than anything ever literally the only more on the nose song you could have chosen is Meredith Brooks bitch or maybe Barbie girl or Cyndi Lauper’s well the movie never explains it or even suggests it but jaan raghav errantly has the ability to manipulate metal like magneto and I needs more backstory than anything in this movie that you actually gave a backstory fool god damn huh did that happen the movie is directly contradicting its own previous implications about the power differential here oh they’re dogfighting in the canyons just like an independent Sky Captain and the world of to marvel dude Carroll may be all-powerful but does she also have a GPS built into her headpiece how the hell did she know exactly where yawn Rhonda DUP she didn’t even see him crash poop to me you can beat me this is a great moment but it was also super fucking obvious that it was gonna go down like this this is basically Indy taking out the sword guy with the gun and Raiders of the Lost Ark motherf lurkin I’ll be back before you know it she will not for emergencies only okay and real emergencies too not like of an alien species is invading one of your most populous cities and your shadow government is about to nuke the god of it as a result and really it would take a giant stroke of some luck and some space gravity to avoid total annihilation you could totally handle that you think you can find others like her we found her and we weren’t even looking okay the logic here is stunning and yes they do end up finding more heroes but it’s not because they already existed Carol was a one-in-a-billion fluke banner still hasn’t tested gamma radiation yet Tony has to be kidnapped and build a suit in a cave black widow is just a human badass and Hawkeye is decent too okay with arrows just how amazing with this cat vomit scene be if we didn’t know where the tesseract went during the sequence on lawson’s lab it might have felt worth sitting through the 12 minutes of credits might have there I said it I like a cat ah I’m just a free we have Vincent yeah we happy your father and I were just discussing his day at work why don’t you tell our daughter about it honey Janie today I quit my job and then I told my boss to go himself and then i blackmailed them for almost $60,000 past nice pair your father seems to think this kind of behavior something to be proud of and your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a king prisoner while she keeps my in a mason jar under the sink tell the supreme intelligence that I’m coming to end it you Tom I’m coming and hell’s coming with me before we get started does anyone want to get out you want to play blind man go walk with the shepherd me my eyes are wide just talk

[lacomandante]

also here’s a gif for a merged gif series i was doing but it doesn’t really fit with the current one. i was painstakingly erasing the red from the lace of her night robe frame by frame and didn’t finish (as you can see) and i need to merge the two scenes together a little bit better, but the angle of the table is awkward. but i looks like they’re having breakfast together on their little farm after the war and i’m really proud of this one 

[lacomandante]

here’s a couple of edits I did ages ago that I never really finished (the last one was just thrown together quickly lol). @properbastard and i talked about an au where Teresa joins Sharpe to help clear his name and sneak into France in Sharpe’s Justice, and Lucille nearly shoots Teresa when Sharpe pushes her out of the way. Teresa cares for him in the 10 days he’s got a fever from the infected gunshot wound they patched up, and she’s terrified of losing him because the end of the war is so close for them.

the last one was another edit for an au of this au LOL. but yeah i won’t really post them anywhere cuz I don’t have any real edits i’m doing so i may as well dump them here and clear out my drafts

[lacomandante]

                                                        I may travel far away                                                  But part of me will still remain                                                   I am with you night and day                                                    Over the hills and far away

[lacomandante]

Flowers in my hair, I belong by the sea Where we used to be, sitting by the orange trees. Summer in the air, bodies in the heat Just you and me, sitting by the orange trees.  

[lacomandante]

❤ and ღ

         The burden of being away from her family weighed heavily on her- she counted the days in her head, at night when huddled by a dying campfire, her blanket wrapped tightly around her. She had missed them dearly, that longing to see them always in her heart, no matter where she was.

        But she was nearly there.

        She had made a steady pace, out of the valley and into the mountains, his last letter in her mind. Oh, how she wanted to fly across the road, to be that much quicker, she wanted the miles to shrink down to nothing, but patience was important. She did not want to injure her horse in her haste.

        But her patience was at an end. There were only a few miles left. She had gone from a trot, before making a clicking noise and digging her heels into the stirrups, a canter now- and soon she was at a full gallop, racing across the incline, and her cheeks ached with how much she was smiling- she had not even realized she had been doing so at the thought of being home.

        Home.

        She spoke encouraging words to her steed and he spurred her forward, the landscape racing by in a blur. The hair that had escaped her braid flew behind her, her breath leaving in clouds as she laughed to herself, excitement rushing through her. How long it had been since she had felt so alive, and the feeling only grew as she rounded the corner, and the familiar sight of the straw roof against the grey sky came to view.

        Finally, finally. She was home.

        Quickly she had sped down the graveled road, and just as quickly she had reined her horse in. Her heart was hammering in her chest, and she could hear the familiar sound of Ramon’s voice carrying across the yard as she patted her horse’s neck. He was beckoning a distance away behind the house, and she slid off her saddle, boots hitting the ground as she turned to see a familiar figure round the corner and stop in his tracks.

        “Teresa!”

        Oh, how she had missed the sound of his voice saying her name.

        “Richard,” she breathed.

        He wore his greatcoat, pulled up close to his neck, and on his hands he wore his fingerless gloves; beneath were his civilian clothes, and though the chilly autumn air blew, it did not faze him much. His face was lit with a smile, wide and laughing, and she found her feet had moved of their own accord, shouting his name, Richard, Richard!, already racing across the grass, and he was too, and with a great collision the two were in each other’s arms, laughing and smiling and holding each other so tightly it would have hurt had they not been so occupied, and he lifted her off her feet and spun her around.

        His lips were on hers, devouring them in a desperate, passionate kiss, and her hands went through his hair, cupping his face, everywhere as she basked in his presence, his hand on the back of her neck, the other around her waist. They parted only briefly for air, clouds misting between them as they kissed again and again, smiling against each others lips as they breathlessly laughed. His hands were so warm, so calloused as he brought them to her cheeks, thumb caressing her softly, and he only pulled away briefly to rest his forehead against hers, eyes closed as they panted, happy, so happy to be reunited once again.

        “Christ, I missed you,” he breathed, and he pulled her close so that she would not see his eyes, crushing her against him, and she held him just as tight. Tears clouded her vision as she buried her face into his neck, and after a moment he pulled back to kiss her forehead, before kissing her once again. They hardly parted as his lips brushed against hers as he spoke, “I missed you.”

        Teresa’s smile only grew wider as she looked upon him, his green eyes filled with unshed tears, and brought her thumb to wipe away those that did spill. He had missed her, just as much as she did him. The time spent apart was agonizing, but reuniting with him made it all worth it, here in his arms.         “And I missed you, Richard,” her arms she threw around his neck, and he returned the embrace, and the two of them swayed in the dying grass, the world falling away, the only thought for the other. “I missed you. More than you know.” She pulled back only slightly to gaze at him fully, though close they still stayed. His hair had gotten longer, his stubble rough against her cheek, and she knew tonight she would find new scars, new wounds from his time away- he was so much more beautiful in her arms than in her memories. How could anything compare to the real thing? His green eyes held her gaze, just as entranced, as though he were committing every detail to memory- it had been too long.

        A loud squeal broke the spell upon them and Teresa glanced over his shoulder as he turned to see- little Antonia was swathed from head to toe in layers and layers of clothes, waddling with a toothy smile as she ran towards them, arms outstretched- and then promptly fell flat on her face as she tripped over an unseen root.

        “Antonia!“ Both Teresa and Richard moved to helped her, shouting her name with a look of horror, but Antonia did not cry. Instead she giggled as she pushed herself up, struggling through all her layers and smiling up at them with dirt on her face. She got back to her feet and quickly waddled to meet them, looking back between Teresa and the ground so as not to fall again. “Mama!”

        “Antonia,” She could only match the smile on her daughter’s face as she dropped a knee to the ground, engulfing her daughter in a hug. She scooped her into her arms as she stood and held her tightly to her, her daughter’s laughter loud and joyful. Richard gave her a worried look, but she only smiled in reassurance. Her arm was stronger- it was not back to it’s full strength, but it was much better than it was before, and Teresa could lift her own daughter into her arms once more without worrying about injuring herself, or her wound.

        Teresa peppered loud kisses onto Antonia’s chubby cheeks and she squealed with laughter, burying her face into her mama’s hair as she wrapped her arms around her neck. Antonia was only just beginning to learn words and phrases, but names were coming to her, and Teresa could not believe how quickly she was growing up. The thought saddened her for a moment; the war had taken so much time away from her, from Richard- but she was fighting for a Spain free of the French, fighting for a land made safe to raise her daughter, to call home, and that smile returned as she nuzzled her daughter’s temple, kissing her softly. “¿Como estás, mi hija?”

        Antonia merely babbled as she pulled away, making soft ‘mwah!’ noises as she pressed her lips against Teresa’s cheek, and Richard came close, wrapping his arms around them both, so that Antonia was between them. One of her arms came to wrap around Richard’s neck, the other still around Teresa’s, and her parents drew forward to kiss her on either side of her cheeks, much to her loud delight.

        “She’s been good,” Richard said, watching as Antonia played with her mother’s hair, and Teresa turned her gaze to him, “I’ve only been ‘ere a week, though, and she was runnin’ up the walls when I came,” He flashed her a grin and Teresa could not help but return it, “Can only imagine how she’ll be with both of us here,” he teased. They both knew how she excited she got when both of them were able to visit, rare as it was. Many times it was only one of them, or the other, and they cherished the time they all got to be here together.

        “I feel the same way,” Teresa laughed, and her heart still beat quickly from excitement and joy at seeing her husband and their daughter again. All those sleepless nights under the cold stars, aching for them, and now they were here, together again in her arms. “I’m sorry it took so long,” she apologized, giving a long sigh as she thought back to his letter, unfolded and folded dozens of times by the fire, “I did not plan on it.”

        “We never do,” His hand coming up to rub her back soothingly, warm and comforting. The touch reminded her that those days alone are done, if only for a little while. She does not need to think of their time apart. Not when they were together now, and as if he could hear her thoughts he said; “But we’re here now, ain’t we?”

        Antonia, though not understanding the conversation entirely, nodded her head when they both looked her way, and babbled something at them.

        “See? She’s happy- she don’t care,” Richard grinned, that brilliant smile that made the scar on his cheek disappear, the hand on her back now leading her forward as they walked through the grass, “Long as her mama and papa are here, it don’t matter to her.”

        “Yes,” Teresa looked down at her daughter, and Antonia smiled back with a toothy grin, and Teresa could not help but kiss her forehead. “How long can you stay for?” She wished she had not missed him by a week, though his letter did not specify when he would be given time off. 

        “Another week or two, I think,” he replied, “I’m sure I can flub it and tell 'em I got lost in the mountains.” He gave a cheeky grin as he gazed at her, almost shyly, “though I’d much rather be lost in your eyes.”

        She laughed at that, resting her head on his shoulder as they walked towards the house, and he kissed the top of her head, his arm around her waist. “You are impossible, Richard.”

        Oh, how she had missed him.

        “Only for you, love. Only for you.” 

        Night had fallen, and logs were tossed into the fireplace, keeping the room warm, blankets piled high upon them. Antonia and Richard had been playing in the grass when she had arrived, and they had already played that morning, too. It seemed she had boundless energy, and where she got it from Teresa did not know. Regardless, Antonia dragged them on the floor to play with her and her dolls until it was time for supper, and not long after she fell asleep in her papa’s lap as he read to her, and Teresa too found herself struggling to keep her eyes open.

        Richard carried Antonia to their bed, fast asleep as they snuggled up next to her, facing each other. The crackling of the logs filled the quiet room, and the chilly air swayed the branches outside. Antonia slept peacefully, worn out from her exciting day, and only once did she stir in her sleep to crawl onto Richard’s chest, seeking his warmth. They both grinned as he lifted her, and right away she curled up beneath the blankets and went back to sleep. Teresa followed suit, shifting to lie her head on his shoulder, and Richard wrapped an arm around her, pressing a kiss to her head.

        “Antonia found a couple of snails today,” he said, low, stroking her golden curls away from her chubby cheeks. Her hair was getting longer and resembled Richard’s more and more every day. “And a few frogs. You should'a seen the look on her face when one jumped onto her nose.” He could not help the grin that spread, and Teresa laughed, only able to imagine how delighted she must have been.

        “I’m glad she is having fun,” her finger traced over Antonia’s nose -not quite like hers, and not quite like his. The bed was tempting her to sleep, and Richard’s warmth only made it more so. She did not want to, despite her exhaustion. She wanted to cherish this moment with her family as long as she could. But she could not recall the last she had slept on something that was not the hard, cold ground, and the miles of riding were making themselves known to her body. “Especially with her papa.”

        There was a comfortable silence between them as they looked down upon their daughter, and Teresa pressed her lips to her husband’s brow, a low noise of contentment rumbling in his chest. These were the moments she fought for. For a life free from war and strife, from death and sorrow…she wanted to capture this moment and cherish it forever. There was nothing more she loved than being in her husband’s arms with their daughter between them, warm and safe, filled with love and affection. It was a life she wanted more than anything- and if it mean being apart, if only for a little while to make that life possible, it was worth it.

        “She misses you, you know,” she said after a few moments, her words soft as she lifted her fingers to brush the hair behind his ear. “She may not be able to say much, yet…but I can tell. I’m glad she got to spend time with you.”

        Richard still smiled, but it did not fully reach his eyes. Teresa once remembered being told that the eyes revealed much that a person might not be aware of- and she had always been good at reading people’s expressions, their body language. Richard was guarded, and so was she– but their time together had lowered those walls, and they trusted one another. They pushed each other, just enough, to admit feelings and emotions they otherwise would not. With no one else could they do such a thing. These moments, quiet and unguarded, were safe with them. They were safe with each other.

        Her hand reached out to give him a reassuring touch, and he smiled appreciatively.

        “I know, love. I know. I miss her. I miss you…more than anything in the world.” He shifted for a moment, his free arm pulling her closer. Antonia still slept peacefully on his chest, and his hand cupped her cheek as he rested his forehead against hers. She leaned into his caress, kissing his fingers, and his eyes slipped closed as he spoke. “I just wish this bloody war was over. So I could spend time with the two of you.”

        ”Soon, Richard,“ she murmured softly, and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. He let out a sigh, turning to nuzzle her with his nose, and she kissed him again. ”Soon.“ It was all they had dreamt about, longed for in days spent away, but they knew their fight must go on. Just a little longer. ”I promise.“

        Her fingers swept across his chest absently, tracing over long healed scars. Some freshly healed. There were a few on his fingers and arm, and she were sure there were more that she could not see, on his body- perhaps even on his heart, his mind. War had given them many wounds, not always visible. But for now they stayed tucked away into the recesses of their mind, a distant thing replaced with warmth and love. 

        Her fingers tenderly brushed across the tight skin, old and new, faded and pronounced. She had memorized them in their times before, kissing each one, making them better. As though her lips could ease the pain and memories and heal him so. They would always linger, relics of battles and injuries long past, and for as long as they lingered, Teresa would always kiss them.

        Her hand traveled up towards his shoulder, careful not to disturb Antonia, who’s thumb was in her mouth, sleeping soundly. She shifted only slightly, her shirt parting as she lifted her arm to trace a new, healed wound, and she stopped as she heard his sudden, sharp hitch in his breathing. He stiffened, his arm around her stopping in its ministrations, and Teresa lifted her gaze from his wounds to his face. The air in the room had changed. He looked pained, brows furrowed and tight lipped, and Teresa wondered for a moment if her touch had been too rough. His eyes were not on hers; instead they looked further down, and Teresa followed.

        Her shirt had fallen open, her skin golden in the firelight, but her heart sank as she realized just what had pained him so. Across and just above the swell of her right breast lay her scar, ugly and deep and reddish-purple, jagged in a way that her skin would never again be the same. It was healing, the stitches long removed, but the memory of what had happened had not faded for either of them, and still caused such pain at the sight of it.

        In a a handful of months it would have been nearly a year ago she had been shot. Hakeswill, the bastard, with that woman in his arms- she had been too slow. Foolish. And she had nearly died. The bullet had nearly grazed her heart, but the blood she lost was too much, on her neck, down her side, choking on it as she tried to say her goodbyes…

        But she had been saved. Perhaps it was the Holy Mother who had intervened, or some other force, but she had been told a doctor had been there, dug the bullet out, and saved her life. She did not remember much from before her fever, but she had survived that too. All with Richard beside her, caring for her, and she could vividly remember his wracking sobs as he begged her please don’t go, don’t leave me here alone, not again-

        She swallowed thickly as she pushed the thoughts away, though the pain from both the wound and the memories lingered. She recognized that look in his eye- guilt, anger, fear- she had seen it too often when he looked upon her wound, and even when it was not visible. What scar she had remained with was a permanent reminder, but the scar it had left on Richard Sharpe was deeper, and was one that had not yet healed- and perhaps never would.

        His arm reached slowly across Antonia, and she could see him hesitate as it lingered above her chest. He gave a shuddering breath, and she could see a shine to his eyes as he swallowed back the lump in his throat. His fingers shook as he held them there. He was steeling himself, still so worried that he would hurt her if he did, trying to push away those awful, awful memories, but he turned his gaze back to her, in a silent question of permission that words did not need to convey.

        Teresa’s hand came up to his, strong and steady against his shaking one, to give him strength. She guided his hand, and he brushed the scar with the tips of fingers only briefly before pulling away, as though he had hurt her terribly, but she did not let go. Instead she held it firmly, letting it rest atop . The flesh was not as tender as it used to be, but she was sensitive and the feeling lingered only momentarily.

        Teresa could see the wheels turning in his head, the thoughts that filled them as he took a deep breath, his fingers grazing softly across it. Feeling it. He lingered, and she could feel her heartbeat against his palm, knowing that he felt it too. Strong. Unwavering.

        She had lived.

        He took a moment to gather his thoughts. “How’s it feeling?”

        Teresa drew away briefly, though his hand still remained, to look at him thoughtfully. There were many things she could tell him. It ached, sometimes, especially in the cold. She had nightmares. She wanted to be strong again. But none of these things felt right in the moment. Not when she was with her husband and daughter. 

        Teresa gave him a smile, her fingers lacing with the hand on her scar. She gave a comforting squeeze, and he returned it, a small smile of his own forming.

        “Better,” she said. It was the truth. “Now that I am home.”

        “Home.” Richard echoed, giving a slow nod of his head as the word sank in for the both of them. “Home.” That smile grew, though, and she could not help but find her own  as he pulled her in for a kiss, soft and sweet, but with an intensity and a passion that she knew was a reminder. She was here, in his arms. Alive. Okay. She did not leave him.

        And she never would.

        They parted from the kiss, his breath warm across her lips, and he smiled before drawing her as close as he could, Antonia stirring only slightly to snuggle further into his chest. Richard pulled the blankets further, only their daughter’s head above them, and she nuzzled her husband’s neck, resting her head on his shoulder. 

        This is what she fought for. What they fought for, and nearly died for. A family, warm and safe and loving, something so precious and rare in a time of war and strife, of loss and despair…but that was over the hills and far away, distant thoughts that were not wanted, nor needed here. She was in his arms, and he in hers, Antonia between them, and as they drifted to sleep, Teresa could not help but smile softly.

        This was what they fought for, though they were all the same thing; for family, her husband and child, and for home.

[lacomandante]

Do Not Fear For Me, But Hurry to be With Me

A playlist for Teresa Moreno Sharpe’s and Richard Sharpe’s Anniversary!! April 7th, 1812

who will comfort me? - connie dover | the way west & the way west (guitar) - brian keane | nothing i have ever known - bryan adams | somebody - connie dover | i will always return - bryan adams | last night by the river - connie dover | august - anuna | this is where i belong - bryan adams |

@rightandproperbastard