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bleedingoptimism · 1 year ago

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𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚

part 1

“You look pale,” Jeff comments making Eddie snort loudly.

Of course he looks pale, he’s got vampirism, doesn't he? But then again, so does Jeff and he looks great.

“When was the last time you fed?” He asks.

Eddie sighs heavily trying to reign in his bad mood. He knows Jeff’s just worried and wants to help, and he’s grateful to have run into an old friend from high school as soon as he moved into the big city.

Because he’d be utterly lost without him.

He doesn't know where anything is, he gets lost in the subway, and he has no idea when he’s being charged too much for a muffin or suspiciously too little for a hotdog, or where all the blood markets are.

“Like, two weeks ago,” Eddie finally answers.

Jeff looks surprised but it’s not actually that bad, people with vampirism can go up to 4 to 5 weeks without blood.

It’s not the same as those vampires from movies and books, they still eat food and they can stand in the sun with just minor cases of sunburn. There’s also the light sensitivity, making them all look like assholes wearing sunglasses everywhere.

Also, they are not allergic to garlic. Which, thank the heavens because Eddie loves garlic, a lot.

There’re a couple of side effects that do come in handy sometimes, like augmented hearing and smell. And the healing spit is super weird but nifty. No super strength regrettably, that would’ve been awesome.

Anyways, it’s like they have super anemia or something.

“I went to a blood bar, hooked up with some dude but. I didn't have a good time, at all. I kind of don't want to go back to bars for a while,” He elaborates and when Jeff frowns worried, he shakes his head,

“No, not like that. It’s just… the dude was like way too into it, you know? It kinda freaked me out.”

“What do you mean? Don't you find it hot? When you feed?” Jeff asks him, curious.

Eddie nods quickly, “Yes, of course I do! It can be really sexy with the right person, but this guy, he was like- like way too loud and like, he was faking it? I don’t for who, though. And halfway through it, I started getting worried I’d accidentally hired someone instead of just hooked up and I didn’t have any money, and then I started thinking about money and my dick-”

“Ok! Ok, I get it.” Jeff thankfully interrupts him. “Dude, why didn’t you say something, I know of a place. I didn’t mention it before because it’s kind of boujee and handles itself a little differently.”

“Oh? Do tell” Eddie tells him excitedly, he loves going to new places, especially if they are weird.

“Well, it’s real private, like ‘can’t get in unless you are on the list’ private. And it’s run by this girl. Blonde little thing, super cute. Scary as fuck. Everyone calls her ‘The Boss’” he says doing air quotes.

“Dramatic, I like it.” Eddie smiles.

Jeff chuckles, “So the gist of it it’s you go there and just hang out normally, like any other kind of bar. The place is beautiful, the music is good, and the drinks are delicious. But what's interesting about this place is the hostesses,” he says and even does a little pause for effect before continuing, “Similar to a blood bar there’re people there willing to be fed on but what’s cool about it is they get to choose.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows, “That sounds kind of fun, actually.”

“Right? And it feels, safer somehow? For them?” Jeff agrees and Eddie nods and smiles at him, waiting for him to keep going.

“Anyway, the hostesses choose and then you get to go upstairs and talk through what you want to happen, just feeding, sex, talking, anything they agree to, it's on the table. I once ended up just playing a game of Uno with the girl I fed on and two other hostesses that hadn't picked anyone that night.” he finishes and Eddie laughs delightedly.

“Ok, this place sounds amazing, what’s the catch?”

“Well, you have to pay an entry fee, the drinks are expensive and there’s always the possibility you’ll leave empty-handed. The first time is free though,” Jeff says.

“Like drugs,” Eddie replies and Jeff nods solemnly,

“You know the hostesses can be kind of addicting.”

…

That night, on the way there, Jeff tells him they have to sign a guest list at the entrance,

“No one uses their real name, not because the place is shady or anything! But because they want to leave that choice to us and the hostesses if you ever get too close with one. It's not like, frowned upon.”

Eddie nods listening intently, he feels kind of nervous in a way he hasn't in a while, but he’s not sure why.

“Also, secret nicknames are fun! I’m known as Jay there. So please don’t dox me. Or yourself.” Jeff tells him.

After careful consideration, Eddie smiles and says, “I’ll be… Strider”

“Nerd”

“Shut up, you are just jealous you didn't come up with it yourself”

Jeff laughs, “You got me there,” he says, and then, “We are here” and he opens a big glass windowed door and vows to Eddie, inviting him in.

Eddie chuckles and enters and immediately almost runs into someone—a tall, massive guy with short curly hair and the shadow of a beard.

“Hey freak,” Jeff greets calmly, “He’s with me,”

Eddie cringes at the nickname, bad memories from high school bullying. But the dude just nods and gives Jeff the tiniest of smiles, so he figures it’s the nickname the bouncer chose for himself.

They enter and sign their name in the guest book, a girl about their age with dirty blond hair and hundreds of freckles on her nose and cheeks is there and she asks Eddie a couple of questions. Not in a weird way, but in a ‘you are new and I’m curious’ kind of way.

Eddie feels comfortable and excited as they go in.

Jeff was right, the place is beautiful. The lobby leads to a big room with high ceilings and fake candle-lit lamps. The chairs and tables are antiques and all different but roughly the same time period so they look good together. There’re old signs and posters from all kinds of drinks and different products adorning the walls. And the music is instrumental and oldie too, sounds like probably 40s or 50s.

It is incredibly boujee. But in a fun way, cozy and warm.

They get a seat at a small round table in a corner and Jeff lets Eddie look around for a while before asking,

“So? Weird right? It’s like stepping into another time,”

Eddie snorts, “Yeah, one that has no idea which time period it wants to repre- who is that?”

Jeff looks at where Eddie is looking and sighs, “Of course you noticed Sunshine,”

“Sunshine?” Eddie sighs.

“That’s what they call him. Because apparently he smells like flowers and summer and tastes like orgasms or something,” Jeff says amused rolling his eyes.

The guy, Sunshine, is probably the prettiest person he’s ever seen in his life, definitely the most beautiful man in this room. His face is a contradiction of sharp and round angles that is just absolutely perfect, and he’s wearing a black suit that clings to his body like a second skin, showing off his big shoulders and his tiny waist. He’s looking around the room with big, brown eyes that look bored as he leans against a wall like he’s above it all, he’s a fucking dream.

Eddie swallows audibly and looks smirking at Jeff for a second before his eyes drift back to the man, “Tastes like what, you said” he teases and Jeff snorts.

“Not that anyone would know, as far as I know, he’s never taken anyone upstairs,” he tells Eddie in a conspiratory tone.

That makes him incredibly curious, “Really? Why is he still here then?”

“I don’t know for sure, mostly rumors but he’s the boss’s favorite, that’s for sure. Oh!” Jeff exclaims and then nods his head to a girl sitting on the other side of the room, in a big fancy-looking chair that looks more like a throne than a simple piece of furniture.

She’s got blonde hair up in a ponytail and she’s wearing a flowery dress but there's something about the way she looks around the room, something about the way people walk around her and look at her, with respect or fear, or maybe both. She’s fucking intimidating.

While Eddie’s looking, the girl from the front desk, with the freckles, comes to sit on a small stool beside the “throne”, there’s another one on the other side that’s empty. The blonde girl moves her hand towards freckles and she kisses it and then her shoulder and smiles as she leans in closer and starts whispering to her.

It’s kind of surreal.

“That’s The Boss, and the girl from the entrance, that’s Sparrow. She’s her girl.” Jeff explains.

“Respect for looking scary in a sundress,” Eddie comments.

And Jeff nods, “Anyways my theory is, Sunshine is actually just a bodyguard and not a hostess but the people that come here like to think they actually have a chance with him, so no one says anything to the contrary.”

Eddie snorts and nods, it makes sense. It's actually very good marketing, just like the ‘the first one is free’ thing. That boss girl is really smart with her business.

Jeff and he get a few drinks and they chat calmly, Jeff isn't looking to go upstairs tonight, he only came by to accompany Eddie and Eddie knows he should be looking around, trying to make eye contact with someone, but he can stop staring at Sunshine.

He even looked at their table at one point, and Eddie thought he was going to faint. He was scanning the room as he apparently does every couple of minutes when he caught Jeff’s eye and Jeff lifted his hand in greeting.

And Sunshine’s face completely transformed, his bored calculating expression changed into a beautiful smile that made his eyes shine. He wiggled his fingers at Jeff cutely before going back to looking like fucking Droopy Dog. If Droopy was the sexiest motherfucker alive. It was amazing to see.

Eddie’s jaw almost hit the table and he turned to look at Jeff stunned and he just shrugged,

“Sunshine was one of the hostesses I ended up playing Uno with. He’s fucking vicious,” he says smiling at the memory.

Eddie chuckles as his eyes follow Sunshine moving across the room, he just can't. Stop. Looking.

But the thing is, Sunshine is looking back now. Keeping eye contact with him obviously and unashamed. It’s thrilling and it makes shivers run down his spine.

He watches as Sunshine sits on the stool on the other side of The Boss’s throne and grabs her hand and holds it, intertwining their fingers.

The Boss and her girl turn and look at him and the three of them start whispering, looking at him.

“Dude,” he says and turns to Jeff to see if he’s seeing what he’s seeing.

Jeff looks from him to the whispering party, “Un fucking believable, first time here and tonight is the night Sunshine is taking someone upstairs” he says looking fed up, but clearly in a joking manner.

“Is that what you think it’s happening? No way,” Eddie shakes his head as Sparrow says something that makes The Boss chuckle but Sunshine speaks up and she sobers up immediately. Curious.

“He’s looking right at you, he probably went to ask Sparrow about you,” Jeff insists.

“Maybe he’s looking at you”

“He’s seen me before,” Jeff scoffs.

He’s about to reply but their conversation gets interrupted by someone shily clearing their throat. A girl, a hostess, is looking at him with curious eyes, and shit… she’s cute and looks like a nice person but, Eddie can’t- he needs to know what those looks from Sunshine meant.

He needs him.

He looks back at the group quickly to see Sunshine and The Boss in deep conversation and Sparrow… is she glaring at him?

He rejects the girl, as nicely as possible and Jeff scoffs and murmurs ‘unbelievable’ under his breath again as Eddie turns to look back at Sunshine.

Who is walking toward them, holy shit.

“Holy shit,” Jeff says and then moves to stand. Eddie grabs his wrist and tries to pull him back.

“Wait what are you doing, dont-” But Jeff frees himself and starts walking away,

“Good luck!” He sings songs and then leaves him alone.

part 1: you are here

part 2: 👄

part 3: 🩸

bonus content: ☀️

ao3: 🌙

art: 🦇

coffee?☕🥐💕

#stranger things #steddie #vampire eddie munson #steve harrington #i wrote something

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rogueddie · 9 months ago

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Never- unless it's with you T | 696 words Prompt for @steddielovemonth: Love is being seen and known

Steve hates how bright it gets, how much it irritates his eyes, how it has always made his skin crawl with discomfort. He especially hates how weird people look at him when he tries to wear his sunglasses inside, or in the colder months.

But it's so bright. The sun always finds a way to shine in his eyes, but lightbulbs aren't any better. The sharp blue lights are like knives sticking into his eyes and the warmer yellow lights, though better, quickly build into an uncomfortable pressure.

Robin is the first to pick up on his 'issue'. She makes sure to keep the lights off, even buys candles and fairy lights with dull, soft lights.

If he's having a worse day, the lights getting so bright that sound starts to overwhelm him, she drags him home with her so they can crawl under her bed and relax.

He feels more than lucky to have that much. Having Robin in his corner is not only enough, it's a blessing.

So, when Eddie starts to do little things to help, he feels like he's going to explode.

"I don't see how it's different," Robin says.

"Because it is! He's so- and you're not- but- I'm... fuck!" Steve flops onto his bed, next to Robin, pressing both hands over his eyes. "I don't even know if it's good or not."

"Have you tried, I don't know, talking to him?"

"And how do you think that will go? I want him to like me, not think I'm weird."

"You're not that weird and- well, even if you are, he's weird! He likes weird people and even weirder things! That's his whole schtick!"

"But what if he looks for something different in partners? Like... something more relatable?"

"We are still talking about Eddie, right?"

"Shut up."

"Seriously, Steve, think. You've been on, what, four dates now, right? Do you really think he cares if you're a little weird?"

He doesn't answer her. They both know that Eddie wouldn't care, and Steve doesn't have the words to explain why its different yet.

But, as always, Robin is right.

It takes him a month to slowly realize that, not only is she right that Eddie wouldn't care if he knew, he already does.

Steve had started to pay attention to little things Eddie does so he would know what to expect if he were to start opening up about the weirder things about him.

But instead he found himself noticing how much Eddie already goes out of his way to make Steve comfortable.

It's like he has a sixth sense for Steve's moods.

He doesn't even need to do more than greet Steve to know when it's a quiet day, barely stuttering over his plans- ones that, now that he's looking, Steve can tell are last minute changes.

He always seems to know when Steve needs to be touched, or when the idea of certain things touching him makes his skin crawl.

He always waits until they're settled before bringing up things like his guitar- deflating slightly on days when it would be too much, when he's realized that and subsequently doesn't bother asking.

He uses one of the fridge drawers specifically for food that Steve finds comforting, and has little stickers on food with textures he hates.

He has a specific mug that only Steve uses now, that is always made at a specific time, no matter what, so there's always something consistent and routine for him to latch onto.

Eddie already knows him, Steve realizes.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" Steve manages to say, choking on the affection bubbling in his chest.

"Mm, not nearly enough," Eddie whispers, smiling softly. "But it's ok. I know you love me as much as I love you."

"I do, I really do. You're amazing, Ed. I love you so much."

"What's brought this on, sweetheart?"

"I just... you see me."

"I do. It's why I love you so much. There's so much to you that... I don't know, I could do this forever. Just- learning all the little things that make you tick. That's my happy ever after."

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #steddie fic #ficlet #nav.slm

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lycheeloving · 5 months ago

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yandere!Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) from this AU:

-On space missions pretty often, so you get some time away from him. Yay! You do have to video call him whenever he has the time though (and live with the knowledge that he makes a construct of you every night [you don't want to know what he does with it]). He does always bring you back a little souvenir of whatever planet he was on, so your room is filled with fun trinkets!

-If wherever he's going isn't dangerous though you get to go with him! Which is awesome because you get to leave the Watchtower and see new things sometimes! But also bad because at least in the Watchtower you can talk to other people, when you're away with Hal you get locked in a room until he returns for the day. Nobody to talk to and nothing to do most of the day. And then you have to deal with clingy Hal. Not ideal, but at least you get to "take a little vacation" sometimes, as Hal puts it.

-He's convinced you really like him and are just playing hard to get. He's the best member of the Justice League! Why wouldn't you like him! Or maybe you're shy...? You not liking him never even crossed his mind.

-Brags about his darling to the other members.

"Today my darling told me I'm cool! 😌"

"...Are you sure they didn't call you a tool?"

"They would never!! You're just jealous because your darling hates you. 🙄" (they did, in fact, call him a tool.)

-Tries to impress you with cool constructs. Is shocked and upset when you aren't impressed.

"Hey look what I can do!!" *makes a puppy wearing sunglasses surfing on a wave*

"...Why is it green? Oh, you can only make green things? Hrm." *turns away*

"😦"

-Likes the Watchtower arrangement, because, again, he's away pretty often, and this way he can be sure you're safe and not lonely! However he insists on spending at least 24 hours completely alone with you when he returns, because he missed you so much! Get ready for non-stop cuddles, kisses and more.

-Loves when you wear his clothes. Will turn down the temperature so he has an excuse to make you wear his jacket. Also makes you wear his t-shirts to sleep in, who needs pyjamas!

-Thinks it would be really hot if he made a construct of you and the real you made out with it... Are you sure you don't want to do that? ...Really sure? Why not? ...Ok, fine... Maybe in the future...?

#yandere dc #yandere green lantern #yandere hal jordan #green lantern x reader #hal jordan x reader #lycheewritings #x reader #reader insert #yandere #yandere!green lantern #yandere!Hal Jordan #yandere green lantern x reader

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queer-reader-07 · 8 months ago

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op could you elaborate on the she/her muriel thing. because i totally get what you mean but i find it so hard to articulate why... its just like. mmmmm. canon they/them character. but you wont respect their prns. but then again i enjoy when people get genderwierd w the ineffable spouses. would you respect my prns if you cant even respect a fictional character. is that the same thing. idk.

hi anon! i'll try best to elaborate, but apologies in advance if it comes off a bit... intense?

to give some context to my words:

i am nonbinary

i am afab

my pronouns are they/them

most everyone with the exception of close friends and people on the internet misgender me with she/her pronouns because they perceive me as a woman.

i think the root of it for me is that muriel has no experience interacting with earth, let alone humans, before they're sent down to be Inspector Constable. and because they have no experience with humans, they most definitely have very little context for the human construct that is gender. muriel's pronouns are they/them because those are the default gender neutral pronouns in english. muriel (like the other angels and demons) is referred to with they/them pronouns because, for all intents and purposes, they don't have gender.

whereas aziraphale and crowley (and even gabriel to a certain extent) have interfaced with humanity enough to have developed some level of understanding regarding gender, and possibly even an understanding of what they want their gender to be/be perceived as.

additionally, crowley and aziraphale play with gender in a way that feels very intentional to me.

crowley has canonically, in the show, presented femme. meta writers far more skilled than me have examined how, during the crucifixion scene, crowley is very obviously dressed more like the women in the background than the men. and it's not just in the historical flashbacks that we see crowley's genderfuckery. his modern look is comprised of a combination of femme and masc pieces. he wears a woman's cut waistcoat and his "11 years ago" look features women's sunglasses. all while inhabiting a decidedly man-shaped body.

i'm also just going to remind the audience that crowley outright denies being "a lad" in season 2. he straight up told us he's not A Dude.

aziraphale's genderfuckery is definitely less obvious and some might say debatable. that being said, i would make the argument that aziraphale's tendency to dress and present in a way that results in him being almost universally perceived as not only A Gay Man, but an effeminate gay man at that, is a quintessential example of gender as performance. and i do believe that aziraphale is making a very conscious and deliberate choice to present as a gay man. for fuck's sake he calls himself THE Southern Pansy, he knows what he's doing.

also, i know it didn't actually happen, but we almost got both of them presenting femme in the 60s so like. there's that too.

so, to me, it's ok to fuck around with crowley and aziraphale's genders in fanfic and art and the like because they do so canonically. the book makes it very clear that they are "man-shaped" but not necessarily men, ie they have chosen bodies that are perceived as being A Gender but that doesn't mean they technically are.

whereas muriel does not. muriel doesn't have a concept of gender because they haven't been on earth or around humans long enough to develop one. they are only ever referred to with gender neutral language. so it just feels really gross to me when people choose to she/her them. because to me it feels like saying "well this body that appears woman-shaped to me must mean they are a woman" which is a sentiment i, unfortunately, know all too well.

muriel is a character that is canonically referred to with they/them pronouns, on a major TV show on a major streaming platform no less. so it really fucking sucks to see people disregard that because they "can't remember to they/them muriel" or because they "seem like they use she/her."

to put it bluntly, every single argument i've ever read in favor of she/her-ing muriel has boiled down to "i just can't be bothered to remember they use they/them" and if you can't use a fictional characters pronouns correctly then i have zero faith you can use a real person's pronouns correctly. all i hear when i read those arguments is "i can't be fucked to do the bare minimum of gendering trans people correctly."

and lastly, i know it's genderfuckery when people she/her aziraphale and crowley because they're "man shaped" in the book and played by male actors in the show. but i don't have much faith that it's genderfuckery when people she/her muriel because i can almost guarentee it happens for no other reason than the fact that Quelin Sepulveda is a woman.

#wow that got long really fast #i hope this provided some amount of insight and wasn't too confusing #asks #my asks #answered asks #good omens #muriel #muriel good omens #kind of good omens meta

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weirdmageddon · 1 year ago

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long mediation on jade and dave’s relationship - part 2

part 1 is here

this part is essentially about dave and jade’s personalities, their basic dynamic, and how it works. and addressing some things ive seen said about dave in moments that people remove from context because they dont weigh these contexts and prior ones. if you want a post that goes into dave’s attitude towards jade (conclusion: he cares about her a lot) here it is

part 2: switcheroo + misconceptions about dave's role in dave and jade's relationship

something interesting i realized while writing this is the thing about grimbark jade is that she is no nonsense when her normal self is all about nonsense and entertaining silly things because she can see the merit in them. in fact she is always having a chuckle caused by dave's sense of humor and im sure dave got used to interacting with jade like that so wtf with grimbark jade

EB: so i think i have to get TG to use his copy to save her! EB: but that jackass won't shut up and stop rapping and stuff. GG: hahaha GG: he is so silly! (p.293)

TG: snows a big chilly carpet of nobody gives a shit TG: like old man winter spread around his nasty mayonnaise and turned the landscape into his personal asshole sandwich GG: eww dave no TG: when i look around all i see is the miles of unharnessed snowmen im just too damn cool to build GG: no this is so lame GG: i am hearing an insane and stupid guy say stupid idiot things while wearing dumb sunglasses for lame morons! TG: whoa jade with the fucking haymaker TG: i need to go look for my teeth on the canvas as soon as shit stops spinning and there stops being like ten of you GG: heheheh GG: why dont we play in the snow later (p.3024)

GG: i cant get over how tiny this thing is! GG: its so cute GG: so the baby frogs show up on this pad here? GA: Yes GG: i cant wait to try it GA: What Are You Laughing At There GG: oh GG: lol GG: dave just has a lot of funny stuff to say about all this GA: What Is He Saying GG: oh you know, a bunch of silly stuff GG: theres too much to copy/paste! GA: Hmm GG: here ill save it all to a file and send it to you -- gardenGnostic [GG] sent grimAuxiliatrix [GA] the file "daveisafunnyguy.txt" -- GA: Okay Im Laughing Pretty Hard At All That GG: hahaha (p.3312)

JADE: *snicker* JOHN: what? JADE: nothing JOHN: is someone messaging you through the game? JADE: hehe JOHN: who is it? JADE: pffff! JOHN: dammit, jade... JADE: its davesprite, hes playing too JOHN: oh. JOHN: don't tell him any of our strategies. he is the enemy! JADE: we have strategies? JOHN: um... JOHN: ok, first, tell him we have strategies. then, don't tell him them. JADE: hahahahahahaha JOHN: oh god. JOHN: what is it now? JADE: did you know... JADE: davesprite is a funny guy? JOHN: meh, he's alright i guess. JOHN: i give most of his jokes a passing grade. sometimes as high as a solid b+! JADE: i just told him you said that JADE: davesprite says to tell you "youre basically welcome for being born 14 years ago and 1 year ago you ungrateful douche" JOHN: oh, like him taking credit for my existence isn't so old by now! (p.4732)

in a way i feel like their roles parallel dave and jade in the earlier acts from homestuck, but inverted (and twisted/not as nice cause grimbark jade is under nefarious influences)

dave approaches the world from a highly pragmatic position. his ego (in the purely psychoanalytical sense) that he holds himself to, shows to the world, and what he tends to reason through is one that’s about relaxed competence. he’s critical of unreasonable actions and takes it upon himself to guide others into being more efficient in practical, realistic ways. he sees that jade struggles in these initially but she readily accepts his help, which is more than glad to provide.

this doesn’t say anything bad about jade harley. this doesn’t make her stupid, or in need the saving from a knight in shining armor nor does it make dave condescending towards her. it’s information that he is able to provide and that she appreciates and trusts his assistance with while she sees through the things that she prioritizes like helping others with matters of hidden opportunities / the big picture and interpersonal needs which are completely out of dave’s league, something he highly respects but doesnt feel its his greatest asset towards other people like jade does. jade is very into science and gadgetry, but remember that she relies heavily on her sharp intuition rather than straight up pragmatism like dave would. jade really is exceptional and multitalented but she doesn’t know how she does the things she does half the time!

(p.790)

even though dave acknowledges this it doesn’t really bother him

TG: hey TG: oh TG: youre asleep again arent you TG: or do you even know if you are TG: i still dont know how that works TG: its like nothing means anything TG: its so cool getting hella chumped by your coquettish damn riddles all the time TG: i dont know why i believe anything you say im like the grand marshal of gross chumpage (p.829)

GG: i want to tell him happy birthday and ask him about his birthday package! TG: oh yeah TG: i was being sort of cagey and told him to check the mail cause i was wondering if mine came yet GG: i think it did! TG: yeah? GG: and i think mine came too TG: so uh TG: i guess you want to know if he likes it or something? GG: no!!!!!!! GG: he will not open it GG: he will lose it!!! TG: oh TG: uh TG: wow sorry to hear that i guess? GG: no its good actually! GG: because he will find it again later when he really needs it GG: which of course is why i sent it in the first place! TG: see like TG: i never get how you know these things GG: i dont know GG: i just know that i know! TG: hmm alright (p.382)

TT: Jade is connected with you? TT: Where did she get the discs? TG: i dont know how does she do any of the loopy batshit nonsense she does (p.1401)

but because she’s gotten by on intuition and her dreams for most things, she’s not as adapted to the rationale behind actions. dave can sense her struggling and wants to help because it’s basically his mission for everyone, not just jade. but that’s the information that jade is glad to be led by and continues to unconsciously prompt him with. she encourages his practical ways and doesn’t tell him to fuck off or just straight up ignore his advice which dave interprets as his strengths being needed by someone else

GG: dave! GG: are you busy? GG: i dont have much time! GG: i am about to make my entry item, and its a little confusing GG: i think the more players we add, the trickier they are to... um...... GG: activate! GG: like yours was GG: i figured we could brainstorm about it, while john fusses with the kernel GG: helloooooo? TG: nak nak nak GG: :o (p.2907)

TG: yeah honestly i figured wed have to do something like this TG: so i guess here we are doing it GG: doing what?? TG: well youre my server player remember GG: yes TG: i need you to deploy something first TG: in my apartment TG: in a few hours ill go back there and we can continue this GG: oh jeez, a few hours???? -- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- -- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- TG: yeah TG: as in a few seconds TG: im back at my place now GG: fastest hours :o TG: yeah TG: now TG: deploy the intellibeam laserstation GG: but that costs so much grist!!! TG: no it costs practically nothing TG: check out how much ive got GG: omg... GG: what does this thing do? TG: its mostly pretty stupid and useless TG: but itll come in handy here TG: it reads captcha codes GG: on the back of cards? TG: yeah GG: but GG: we can already read those! TG: some are too garbled and complicated TG: the human eye cant decipher them TG: needs sophisticated scanning technology TG: and artificial intelligence to figure it out GG: hmm GG: but isnt the whole point of captchas that only humans can read them? GG: and not robots??? TG: yeah well TG: thats why this is so dumb (p.3025 / 3026)

TG: thisll be the disc i use for your connection TG: while the original will stay bound to roses connection GG: so you will be the server for BOTH us ladies??? GG: you just keep getting smoother, i cant handle all this smoothness TG: well technically TG: i will be your server TG: and past me will stay as roses server TG: which is to say present me will TG: the one in the black suit GG: ohh... GG: i guess that makes sense TG: he can keep managing her for a while TG: until she sorta checks out soon and becomes totally useless TG: then he can start hopping around time like i did TG: make a ton of money and stuff TG: eventually become me TG: and become your server player GG: ok i think i understand that! TG: yeah see its not hard to get the hang of TG: in the meantime ill kind of loiter around this timeframe to help you out for a while GG: yessss thanks dave <3

TG: im just going to cut right to the chase and upgrade your alchemiter so you can avoid a lot of bullshit TG: ill give you some codes and you can punch cards and slip em into jumper blocks GG: yaaaaaaaaaaaay! (p.3030 - 3032)

jade has strengths that dave has weaknesses in too, which dave himself points out!!!

TG: ok so TG: the egg is now in a nest made of shitty swords and soft puppet ass TG: please advise GG: i think your sprite wants to hatch it! GG: awww TG: do you think thatll take more than four hours GG: hmm... GG: i dont know it looks like its pretty warm where you are TG: its hot as the sizzle side of the steak GG: maybe not too long then???? GG: i guess we'll find out! TG: maybe i should try to get it back TG: and put it in the microwave GG: :( (p.1507)

dave assumed the egg needed to be heated to break and allow him to enter the game, so his course of action is to go up there and get it himself and use whatever means are at his disposal. that is a logical, straightforward thing to do. he doesnt rely on uncertainty and blind trust that things will just work out when he has the ability to take action in a way that makes sense; that’s jade’s thing. but it turns out jade’s intuition for how to solve dave’s entry puzzle was right! it was actually a test of patience. he later says this to jade

GG: you guys are all so much better than me, i feel sooooo lame TG: we all start out somewhere TG: remember how i was scrambling up that tower to get that egg like an idiot TG: what the hell was i doing TG: i was like goddamn pooh bear in a tree reaching up his fat fuckin pooh paw for some mother fuckin honey GG: heehee TG: so even though im awesome now at one point i was plausibly likened to an autistic stuffed animal TG: and you even knew what to do TG: you told me how it worked all christopher robinning my ignorant ass about that egg TG: but i was all like IM A LITTLE BLACK RAIN CLOUD BITCH WATCH ME CLIMB TG: so maybe youre startin out with more sense than me GG: maaaybe GG: :) (p.3025)

hes pretty much like jade's hypeman but in his own sort of lowkey way and is actually sweetly reassuring to her. this includes davesprite btw

GG: those stupid things are impossible to kill :( TG: no you can kill them TG: youll get better dont worry (p.3024)

GG: hmmmm... GG: i dont know if i get that but ok! TG: well yeah TG: my thing is time yours is space TG: pretty different things TG: you GET things about space i dont TG: or you will GG: i will? TG: yup (p.3024)

DAVESPRITE: as a sprite im supposed to help him with his quest JADESPRITE: oh yeah JADESPRITE: im supposed to help jade too, but...... JADESPRITE: *sniffle* DAVESPRITE: shes doing alright dont worry about it JADESPRITE: ok, ill try... JADESPRITE: shes a lot more brave than me i think JADESPRITE: she brought me back thinking i could help her and all i did was disappoint her and everyone else JADESPRITE: you came back as a sprite and youre managing to do important things... JADESPRITE: but i just feel so scared and helpless DAVESPRITE: sounds like you came back because jade made the decision for you DAVESPRITE: i made the decision to come back myself maybe itd be different if you had the same chance JADESPRITE: i dont know if i would have if i had the chance JADESPRITE: but i would like to not feel so useless to everybody DAVESPRITE: i think everyones on top of this DAVESPRITE: theres not much for us to do anymore (p.3927)

DAVESPRITE: so jade must have done something right DAVESPRITE: to wake her up and get the forge going DAVESPRITE: dont know what she did though JADESPRITE: probably something amazing JADESPRITE: she is still working so hard to help everyone JADESPRITE: i guess i used to be that way... JADESPRITE: but ive completely forgotten how DAVESPRITE: are you sure (p.3945)

JADESPRITE: it reminds me of when i died JADESPRITE: and i was trying to wake john up JADESPRITE: i was scared then too JADESPRITE: but i didnt let the fear stop me from trying to save him DAVESPRITE: what would you want to do DAVESPRITE: if you werent scared JADESPRITE: i have no idea JADESPRITE: i guess try to help JADESPRITE: what is there to do? DAVESPRITE: well DAVESPRITE: i was going to bring this sword to dave JADESPRITE: oh noo JADESPRITE: does that mean youre going to leave? DAVESPRITE: no DAVESPRITE: i was gonna say DAVESPRITE: im not in any shape for more adventuring DAVESPRITE: i figure this is probably my last stop JADESPRITE: :( DAVESPRITE: but maybe this is a way you can help JADESPRITE: you mean... JADESPRITE: that i should give him the sword? DAVESPRITE: if you want JADESPRITE: but i dont want to leave you here either DAVESPRITE: maybe you dont have to actually go anywhere DAVESPRITE: you oughta have a lot of special powers remember DAVESPRITE: because of ascending to doghood JADESPRITE: oh yeah! DAVESPRITE: try doing your spacey thing DAVESPRITE: i mean not to sound condescending or anything but its got to be like borderline omnipotence pretty much DAVESPRITE: just put your mind to it (p.3946)

knowing all of this about dave and jade’s personalities and how they work together, i’ve see people get on dave’s case about making jade slap herself in the face after she put the dead bird into his kernelsprite while he was preoccupied with taking a leak

dave freaks the hell out when he realizes she’s asleep; he needs to wake her up because she needs to help him get into the game while requires pragmatism and reasonable actions so that he’s not crushed to death by an imminent meteor. or falling plumbing fixtures. the goal wasn’t to show her who’s in control or whatever or to be mean (do people seriously think he would do that to be mean to her just to slap a girl?) it was strictly to wake her up since he has no means of influencing that besides getting creative

while asleep, jade doesn’t think logically and certainty not to the extent dave needs her to be right now. she’s scattered lalalalala and can forget about limitations or consequences in the real world and also has a short memory span while dreaming: e.g. “4 hours until what?” and she put something into the kernelsprite right after dave asked her not to because she forgor </3 and jade does acknowledge this about her dreaming self btw

GG: i mean, i only talked to you when i was asleep! i am kind of different when im dreaming... GG: i forget things, and at times im not totally sure whats real GG: dont you remember thats what its like to dream on prospit? (p.3056)

dave literally says “we need to wake you up youre not very logical like this” and he does apologize about making her dreambot wake-up slap her

i also see people say that dave thought of jade as helpless and he needs to be the hero and that's why "davejade is not good actually"

TG: but ok i mean isnt that what heroes should be doing TG: working to take down the bad guy without a whole lot of this fuckin grandiloquence and these huge sweeping plans that got nothin to do with fighting him TG: like always biding our time and tiptoeing around the unbeatable god boss TG: johns too nice to get mad TG: rose spends all her time calculating TG: too focused on machiavellian ploys of sabotage to try anything drastic TG: jade is TG: i dont even know TG: probably more a liability if she got it in her head to take him down TG: if anything id bet she just needs protection GC: WH4T 4R3 YOU S4Y1NG H3R3 D4V3, 1N TH1S CONV3RS4T1ON TH4T 1S ST1LL B31NG 4BOUT YOU TG: im just wondering TG: when does someone actually step up TG: jacks got shit to pay for (p.3703)

this minor thread gets followed up on in the pesterlog where jade contacts dave and eventually she concludes jack needs to be stopped and dave's like ... "oh shit" in his head. "oh shit" as in jade's got Game good for her go jade, "oh shit" as in she's going to be ripe for the stabbing cause the idea is in her head now, and "oh shit" as in this moment is the seed of why im going to have to rehearse jade accidentally killing me over and over and i cant tell her about it. due to this he is always fated to die in the alpha timeline both standing up to jack and to protect jade. it's woven into his story. but he was wrong about everyone else also! which i dont see brought up when that quote is used? rose does something drastic (pilots the moon into the furthest ring) and john gets mad (on the ship) and jade is the opposite of needing protection (she’s the only one jack won’t stab and also she ends up so fucking OP she has to be basically written out of act 6) so it's less a thing about jade specifically but to show that in hindsight dave was wrong about ALL his friends. which is an interesting discussion to be had about him in itself, but not now. this is the most sane and well-thought out interpretation of it ive seen

"In general, though, I think Dave has a tendency not uncommon to [thirteen] year olds (or… humans in general, if we’re being honest here) to cast everyone else as a player in his own story and characterize them in ways that fit what he wants. There’s the famous chunk where he says John never gets angry, Rose will never stop scheming long enough to take action, and Jade’s a liability, only to be proven wrong in every count. That fits his understanding of these people and his ideal relationship with them - friend, actor, protector, the one in the group who can be the hero." "Yes, I think Dave probably saw Jade as the most supportive and least judgmental friend. I’m not sure if that impacted his incorrect judgment of her since that’s kind of a pattern for him in general, but I guess it could’ve."

and also putting this solely on dave is kind of ... ehhhhh? because john says the same thing about jade but i don't see anyone getting on his case for it.

CG: SHE AND DAVE RAN INTO JACK, WHICH I'M SURE HE MUST HAVE SAW COMING BECAUSE I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE EXPLOIT TIME TRAVEL SO SHAMELESSLY AS HIM, NOT EVEN ARADIA. CG: SO SHE AND DAVE FOUGHT WITH HIM A WHILE, AND LONG STORY SHORT, HE DIED. EB: what!!! CG: BUT IT'S FINE, I GUESS THAT WAS HIS PLAN, LIKE SOME BIZARRE USELESS LAST STAND, EVEN IF HE DIDN'T TELL JADE WHO WAS PRETTY FREAKED OUT UNTIL I TALKED HER THROUGH IT. CG: JADE SAYS SHE HAS THIS FIGURED OUT, AND I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO MUCH BUT TRUST HER. CG: THE POINT IS, SHE'S ALL BOOKED UP, AND ALL TOO MORTAL. SO SHE WON'T BE DELIVERING THE BOMB, AND NEITHER WILL YOU. EB: ok, well what about this. EB: since she is mortal, and i am not (sort of), and i don't need to do the scratch for a while, can i go help her? EB: maybe she could use some protection? maybe that is what dave was just trying to do, when he temporarily died. EB: remember, jack is still on the loose! he has killed rose and dave once, and me twice. CG: NO NO NO NO NO NO. CG: SWEET BLEEDING JEGUS, EGBERT, YOU KEEP BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR IMMORTALITY, AND THEN BRAINLESSLY ANNOUNCE PLANS TO GO OFF AND DO SOMETHING HEROIC! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE THE SHORTEST LIFESPAN OF ANY IMMORTAL IN HISTORY. EB: sorry. :( CG: BESIDES, IT'S A TOTAL NON ISSUE. JACK WOULDN'T HESITATE TO STAB YOU AGAIN, BUT HE WON'T HURT JADE FOR SOME REASON. CG: IF ANYTHING, YOU COULD USE HER PROTECTION. (p.3869 / 3871)

and also keep in mind dave does absolutely change his perception about jade's strength??

DAVE: youll probably annihilate me worse than my bro used to DAVE: dont you have all of your dogs insane powers and like DAVE: god tier space powers on top of all that DAVE: how exactly am i supposed to compete with that (p.6384)

DAVE: gotta keep em napping DAVE: especially jade im sure you know what kind of crooked ass baloneyfuck powers she got DAVE: cant let her turn those against us (p.7485)

so back to grimbark jade and the switching of these roles, dave doesn’t entirely lose his pragmatic bent. that’s still the way he thinks about stuff through but his time on the meteor has softened him and allowed him to become more reflective on big-picture things such as his role in everything

ironically this is the exact reason for his clash with grimbark jade is because she’s trying really hard to make him do stuff and it’s stuff that he’s not going to budge on because he doesn’t think it’s practical

JADE: why not? JADE: our empress can hardly have a knight with such rusty combat skills in her service DAVE: will you cut it out with the evil jade baloney DAVE: im not going to fight you DAVE: my rooftop dueling days are OVER JADE: en garde! DAVE: ugh DAVE: even if we just went balls out jackass BANANAS with our swords here i mean realistically how much appreciable advancement in my battle skills would even result from that DAVE: are you actually thinking this through or just going through the vaguely nefarious motions that come with the territory of being evildog!jade JADE: im gonna go through the vaguely nefarious motions of kicking your ass in a minute if you dont put up your dukes!!! DAVE: yeah you probably will DAVE: youll probably annihilate me worse than my bro used to DAVE: dont you have all of your dogs insane powers and like DAVE: god tier space powers on top of all that DAVE: how exactly am i supposed to compete with that JADE: by using your time trickery! JADE: come on dave do your timey thing JADE: get creative, make lots of copies of yourself or something... outsmart me! DAVE: no! JADE: yes!!! DAVE: ok here i go JADE: !!!!! DAVE: wait DAVE: nah JADE: grrr JADE: dave, just try a little time travel to get this fight started JADE: see look, one of your time doubles is surely predestined to come from a few minutes in the future and appear behind me for a surprise attack, riiiight about... JADE: now! JADE: ... JADE: no wait JADE: riiiiiiiiiight... JADE: ... JADE: ... JADE: NOW! JADE: .... JADE: ..... JADE: dave why is your future self being such a wet blanket DAVE: i told you DAVE: im not time traveling DAVE: i think im giving it up for good actually (p.6384)

one thing floral mentions in her post is that dave is pushing jade for answers about her failed relationship with davesprite

DAVE: why are you dragging that guy into this DAVE: what happened with you and him anyway JADE: none of your business >:p DAVE: it kind of is DAVE: hes bird me DAVE: that clearly means i have a right to know JADE: that doesnt make any sense! DAVE: you said he had issues DAVE: what issues JADE: augh! JADE: forget i mentioned it DAVE: was he talking shit about me the whole time or something DAVE: i know he resents me for being the real dave JADE: dont say that, you arent the real dave! JADE: well you are, but phrasing it like that is so mean! JADE: hes just as real as you, and when you imply he isnt you sound like a jerk!!! DAVE: man i knew it DAVE: i knew he was poisoning your view of me all those years DAVE: and i wasnt there to say anything or defend against his slander so now of course you think im a neurotic douche (p.6386)

and while it is true nobody is obligated to share the details of their relationship, there is a LOT of evidence to believe dave was asking because he wants to be a good person and, to me his words here, and his past and future actions relative to this point, show that he’s not as messed up of a person as grimbark jade is making him out to be. let’s dive into it. think on this: why does dave care so much what jade thinks about him? he started getting “neurotic” halfway through the conversation once jade brought up her feelings about him

JADE: THE ONLY REASON I THINK YOURE A NEUROTIC DOUCHE IS BECAUSE YOURE ACTING LIKE ONE NOW!!! DAVE: yeah but i only started acting like a neurotic douche like half way through this conversation DAVE: you clearly had an axe to grind with me from the start and i want to know why DAVE: what did i ever do to deserve this shit from you JADE: YOU BROKE MY HEART!!!!!! DAVE: what DAVE: i did DAVE: when (p.6386)

he’s genuinely so lost because he hadn’t had contact with any extension of jade in 3 years. alpha timeline dave has been sensitive towards jade for basically forever and especially now that he’s had time to grow up. he is not going to allow any version of himself hurt jade, and thats why hes asking so many questions to her about the nature of the relationship and what happened

JADE: ok not you JADE: davesprite did JADE: BUT YOURE BASICALLY THE SAME GUY! DAVE: whoa no way DAVE: thats such an unfair characterization we are completely different dudes JADE: you just said you had a right to know what happened between us because, and i quote, "hes bird me" DAVE: no i know DAVE: i was playing the "hes bird me" card because it was convenient to whatever it was i was saying at the time DAVE: i forget what point i was making when i said that JADE: *growl* DAVE: but thats not the point im making now DAVE: he and me are just DAVE: crazy different yo DAVE: hes got fuckin wings!!! DAVE: he also presumably takes a dump and lays eggs out of the same ghostly hole DAVE: ... DAVE: ew man whyd i have to go there JADE: *SNARL* DAVE: ok if he broke up with you or whatever that was because of his dumb bird issues not my issues DAVE: theres no way i would have done that to you (p.6386)

what dave means to say by “hes bird me because it was convenient to say at the time but it doesnt apply to this circumstance” is exactly what i was getting at in part 1 of this series of posts. yes, they are the same people at their very foundation, different reflections of a single character, but up to a point. there’s a gray area of whether or not we can call dave and davesprite the same person. in terms of this conflict though, dave should be regarded as a separate individual because of their diverging history up to that point and adolescent-teenage growth in different environments and under different circumstances. even if dave doesn't know what hes trying to say

he wants to know what this alternate version of himself did to hurt jade so much. even if grimbark jade really is bringing dave into some shit he had nothing to do with.

see the thing is, to me dave could have easily handled being accused a lot worse and say something like “youre overreacting” or something. that wouldve been dickish. but he doesn’t, he never does. he really seems to be more motivated by like, “woah what?? whats his problem? are these about issues i still have and dont know they were hurting jade or are they uniquely davesprite’s?”

like, this isn’t a joke to him even if his main form of communication through humor to lighten the mood (jade loves dave’s silliness dont forget all the times she’s giggled because dave was “so silly” and “hes a funny guy”). immediately after rescuing the mayor from eviljade’s lava kick, he was going to give davesprite a piece of his mind and this shows he is sincerely concerned about what an alternate version of himself did to break jade’s heart. he REALLY fuckin wants closure on it because he cares about her feelings so much

i don’t see this other side covered in floral’s post, but evildog jade here is Also pushing dave to do something that he is uncomfortable with as well, which is to use time travel.

dave stopped time traveling so he wouldn’t “have to wonder all the time if i was taking a wrong turn and dooming everybody”, stating he was “never that cool with it” to rose back in act 5. around the same time when karkat talks to john, he says “TO MY KNOWLEDGE, HE DOESN'T TIME TRAVEL AFTER [FIGHTING JACK WITH JADE], AND HE AND ROSE STAY ON DERSE WAITING FOR THE BOMB UNTIL YOU START THE SCRATCH” which honestly makes me think that whole event was the nail in the coffin for dave on time traveling. seeing himself die fighting jack and knowing it was coming and he couldnt tell jade no matter how much he wanted to that her bullets were going to be the cause. this is the last straw for him regarding time traveling it affected him that much

remember the last lines of pesterlog jade had with dave before being separated? i mentioned it earlier--the one where jade decided jack needs to be stopped and they should “come up with a better plan than Rose’s suicide mission to stop him. Dave suggests the idea is futile, but lets her know she’d come to her own decision regardless, and he’d be available to talk later if needed” (from recap 3)

GG: well maybe im just being naive... GG: but a crazy suicide mission does not sound like the ideal solution to me! GG: are you suuuure we cant beat him? GG: i dont know if we should rule it out! TG: well TG: youre about to do what youre about to do TG: and im not going to tell you not to TG: i wont do the bullshit troll thing and tell you what youre going to do and then just dare you not to TG: while knowing damn well you will anyway TG: so ill just say TG: whats next is up to you TG: and if later you want to talk about it TG: im here GG: ok GG: thanks dave! (p.3204)

this was dave’s nice causality-free way of saying “youre going to end up killing me during the jack fight that winds up happening. i cant tell you that im going to die and that youre going to be the one to shoot me, because i know you wouldnt go through with it. that would drag us in a doomed timeline and we’d all die anyway, not just me. youre probably going to be freaked out when it happens since i can’t tell you this, so if you want to talk me about it later, ill be here for you”

which, first of all is, holy shit. he cares about her and her feelings so fucking much. and it’s nothing new

TT: What about why you went to fight Jack? TG: sure TG: i did that TG: because i wanted to TG: and because i was supposed to TT: Are you sure? TG: yeah i saw my future self fighting him so obviously that had to happen or else id be dead anyway TG: without even getting the satisfaction of standing up to him TT: So what about Jade? TG: what TT: You didn't tell her your expedition with her would result in your death, let alone one she'd inadvertently cause. TT: Or that she'd be stuck with the job of resuscitating you. Did you? TG: what am i really supposed to say TG: hey were gonna hunt frogs til you shoot me through the jack TG: then i die and youve got to make out with me TG: that kind of changes how the whole thing goes doesnt it TT: Not if you're "supposed to," right? TG: what does that even mean TT: I guess you're right. No reason to make an effort to empathize if doing so comes at the price of oblivion. TG: wtf TT: It must be comforting to have your ASPD tacitly supported by predestination. TG: aspd TT: Antisocial personality disorder. TG: oh no TG: this conversation just got bumrushed by a mudslide of fucking awful TT: It wasn't already awful, believing you might be dead? TG: you dont know anything TG: about what i was feeling or what happened on lofaf TG: you were all pavement faced and babbling your throefester speak and flipping off the shit with your own crazy deathwish thing why do you think you know what was going through my head TG: youre just assuming and throwing around psyche buzzwords like aspd complex disorder TG: im telling you if i said anything at all about it she probably doesnt even fire her gun once and all im doing is dragging her into a doomed timeline with me TT: I guess I'm learning to be impressed by your sense of obligation to inevitable misfortune. It's a strange case of inspiration through futility. TG: none of this is that big a deal TG: i just mentioned the basics to her TG: that id stop time traveling soon TG: break out of the loops TG: not have to wonder all the time if i was taking a wrong turn and dooming everybody TG: i was never that cool with this (p.3896)

dave got suddenly super fucking defensive about rose making assumptions about how he felt about fighting jack and knowing jade was going to inadvertently kill him, knowing damn well how jade reacts to seeing corpses (remember that time dave threw his slain body out the window so jade wouldnt see it because “it would probably freak her out”), and the fact that he couldn’t warn her to protect the alpha timeline and also protect both of them and everyone from falling into a doomed timeline. and he knew it was coming the whole time. he was right, rose didn’t know what was going through his head. but his defensiveness here means he had strong feelings about it. not only that but dave saying “whats next is up to you, and if later you want to talk about it, im here” shows the amount of trust he has towards her

we see him tell this to grimbark jade straight up his thought process for why he stopped time traveling. and it’s spot on with what i said. again, remember that this is the first conversation he has with jade after 3 years being separated

DAVE: but see with time travel DAVE: all the stuff about learning it so you dont have to use it is true DAVE: theres no good that can come of it DAVE: you can crunch the logic on the loops all you want DAVE: but all youre doing is painting yourself into a corner DAVE: creating inevitabilities you have to rehearse and enact or face death for yourself or everyone you know DAVE: and sometimes facing death is the very inevitability you have to rehearse DAVE: and then you wait and wait knowing its coming and knowing it has to happen DAVE: how do you think it made me feel when we were gathering up all those frogs DAVE: and i knew the whole time in a little while you would have to watch me get shot DAVE: but i couldnt say anything or it would mess it all up DAVE: all cause i thought it would be cool to be marty mcfuckin fly DAVE: but instead of shredding johnny b goode on guitar to get my parents to bang DAVE: my crowning performance was doing a funny dance while getting pumped full of lead JADE: ...... (p.6385)

and what fucking broke me yesterday was realizing after all this time, ironically it was DAVE who wound up being the one who had to talk to jade about it.

JADE: sorry dave, you lost me there after the part where i shot you DAVE: damn DAVE: ok lemme start over (p.6385)

“damn ok lemme start over” bro he really wants to open up to her about this thing he’s been stewing on for three years only for it to fall on deaf mind controlled ears. it’s so fucking sad

part 3 is cooking and it’s going to be about dave’s character growth post-meteor and what that means for dave and jade

#homestuck #homestuck meta #davejade #dave strider #jade harley #homestuck analysis #hs

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roe-and-memory · 1 year ago

Text

headcanons

hi tumblr ihave like three headcanons to share currently (there will be more soon i just need to see how well theyre taken, do we like headcanons on here??)

(based off of him not having headlights but how i perceive it humanized even though racecars cant have headlights in Real Life) lightning has light sensitivity issues with his vision . he cannot see. the sun is too bright sometimes and if its dark he will trip over one of the floorboards in docs house, no matter how many times hes walked this floor. (hes very prone to tripping Always but it just gets worse when its dark) (he has rips in the knees of every single pair of jeans he owns)

docs old sunglasses have his name lasered into the arm, lightning found them basically untouched in a box in docs garage. he pulls them out and starts using them when its too bright outside and doc has learned to just hand them over whenever lightning shows up like

2. lightning just. doesnt sleep ?? he is 100% an insomniac and his nightmares are to blame. he would rather work himself to exhaustion than willingly sleep at a normal time. cue him spending most nights out in the fields or at the junkyard with mater building things or whatever until mater is the one to be like ok im tired im going to bed and lightning is forced to go back home, climb back through his bedroom window, and stare at the ceiling until he passes out. he hates sleeping because every night, without fail, he has nightmares. vivid nightmares about whatever his brain can think of, and when he does sleep hes basically fighting his sheets for five hours because of these nightmares, and then he wakes up early and goes about his day as if he wasn't at war with literal demons 20 minutes ago.

doc knows about these nightmares, of course he does, he's a light sleeper and lightnings room is just across the hall, he's also completely aware that the kid sneaks out the window every night because, although lightning is quiet around the house, he is not too graceful when hes attempting to climb out the window -- he's fallen into the bush beneath it countless times.

because of this, doc has tried everything to help him with the nightmare issue, from melatonin to getting him to just write down whatever he was dreaming about to show himself it wasnt real, and absolutely none of it worked. in fact, melatonin seemed to make it worse, and doc gave up there.

3. doc wears a silver "wedding" band. he's not married, in fact he's never been interested in having a partner or getting married at all (i dub thee aroace) but when he was younger he was certainly eye candy for girls at the racetrack and they fawned over him like nobodies business. he comes up with the great idea to get a silver ring and lie, he makes up some tragic backstory to tell whenever a woman asks him why he has a ring or who the lucky person is, and it makes them back of pretty quickly. in reality, the ring is made from a small wheel bearing, and smokey made it for him when he asked because he thought it was funny as hell and was like yes sure but pls make it sound ridiculous . and dont ever tell the same story twice. confuse them.

word gets around and he's told multiple different stories so everyone is confused, but if someone questions him he just gives them a Look and they shut up about it.

even after his crash and his inevitable leave from the piston cup and thomasville, along with his change of address, he continued to wear the ring just in case he got recognized or something.. (it was for aesthetic reasons, he loves that ring its just his signature thing now)

ok... thats it for now, is this how things get formatted here??? do we Like this???

#cars 2006 #lightning mcqueen #cars fandom #doc hudson #i dont know what im doing i am so sorry #ive never used tumblr before in my life i am Trying #shaking these two (theyre father and son)#me vs being confused as hell who will win

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thatanimewriter · 2 years ago

Photo

STONE COLD.

➳ request: Hello! Can I ask for Tamaki, Shoto, Katsuki and Izuku with an s/o with a Medusa-type Quirk and who's parents are ex-villains? Thank you very much!

➳ character/s: amajiki tamaki, todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki, midoriya izuku

➳ warnings: swearing, mentions of kidnapping (bakugou), mentions of assault (physical), mentions of injury

➳ notes: awww this actually turned out really cute, thanks for the requestt

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 / 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 / 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 / 𝐰𝐢𝐩 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

── 𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐉𝐈𝐊𝐈 𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐈.

you scare him at the start

because ex-villain parents

and you got snakes for hair

but once he gets past all of that and sees you don’t reflect your parents behaviour much

he’s glued to you

don’t try to get rid of him, you’ll make him sad

every time you ate lunch with him, he would feed your snakes

while you’re dating, tamaki can’t help but feel sad that he can never see your eyes

cause you’re always wearing sunglasses or a blindfold

and it does bother him to no end, because he struggles to make eye contact with people

so that means that eye contact is extremely intimate for him

but he’ll never get to engage in such intimacy with you because he’ll be turned to stone ;v;

it’s ok, that’s why most people kiss with their eyes closed

DUH

he’ll give you all the kisses in private because he’s a lil touch starved

any bullies will get a tentacle slap

and a >:((( from tamaki

sometimes while tamaki is trying to talk to you, he gets distracted by a snake and then it becomes a conversation between the 3 of you

── 𝐓𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐈 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐎.

if it weren’t for the ex-villain parents

he’d be fine

he doesn’t care about the snake hair as much

you quickly proved yourself worthy though

and he just slurps soba while watching you from across the dorms

looks away when a snake stares at him in return

in a way it’s kinda good because i don’t think he can handle the embarrassment of you being the one to catch him

gatekeeps you from ENDEAVOR

you’re gonna get cancelled by him if he ever finds out n he’s not for that

he will use daddy’s money to get you new sunglasses though

sometimes he gets a sneak peak at your eyes from the side

but he’s not willing to test that any further and possibly get stoned for eternity

once y’all went on a crane game date at the arcade

and he found a snake plush that looked exactly like the snakes on your head

and he got 2

1 for him, 1 for you

he cuddles it when he can’t cuddle you instead

he also buys you guys matching sunnies

── 𝐁𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐆𝐎𝐔 𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈.

ICKY

he want nothin to do with VILLAINS

spits on your shoe (in his head)

eventually you get into his close social circle

don’t point out his silent arguments with your snakes

those facial expression conversations from his seat behind you

aizawa is giving him weird looks because wtf is he doing

bakugou reluctantly very eagerly makes food for your snakes as well as yourself

OK, AS MUCH AS HE LOVES YOU

he does do a background check on your parents and isn’t very impressed-

however, once you told him that it meant that if you ever got kidnapped or beaten up severely

they have CONNECTIONS

only then was bakugou somewhat ok with it

he’s still super protective of you though since you might’ve accidentally ended up on some mafia boss’ bad side through association

even if you can take your sunglasses off and just make them a statue on the spot

sometimes in the mornings if you’ve spent the night together

your snakes boop him with their snoots to wake him up

BUT EVEN YOU’RE NOT AWAKE YET??

── 𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐘𝐀 𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐔.

apprehensive at the start but otherwise chillin

not sure what you’re like because parents are a lil sketch

but he probably gave you the benefit of the doubt first

wrote a whole ass notes page for you

naturally

found that you were far from your parents through asking about your quirk

but he is a massive nerd

and he needs to know stuff about your past

so he found old news articles about your parents-

bit concerning with some of the stuff they’ve done such as physical assault on multiple people

but since they’re retired, he’s a lil less worried

he totally comes up with merch ideas for you

even though you’re still in high school

and CUDDLES

he might get a face full of snakes

but that’s a sacrifice he’s willing to make

he gets kisses from them either way so is there really a sacrifice?

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instructionsnotincluded · 1 month ago

Note

Can we get a snippet of angry Logan? 👀

Yessss! Let’s do that! 😉👀

MDNI 18+ | Boys being gross, references to sex, language, Logan’s angry.

Read Wild Winds Here!

Rafe slipped his hand over her shoulder, gently pulling her towards him, Logan going easily now that their argument was resolved, and just as his lips touched her forehead did her attention shift.

“She’s gotta be a virgin, dude.”

“I dunno,” the newest member of the valet team shook his head, the same guy who mistook her as a guest a few weeks ago, “I think the innocent look is just an act. Virgins are hard to find.”

“I’m telling you,” she turned her head fully despite Rafe trying to hug her, seeing one of the guys a grade above JJ talking. Andrew—she was pretty sure that was his name. “She’s a total virgin, and I gotta have it.”

“Who are they talking about?” Logan asked, more to herself as she felt Rafe’s wrists cross to rest on her lower back, tilting his head up so she could slide under it.

“I don’t kno—”

“Imagine those big eyes looking up at you…” Andrew swatted the new guy with the back of his hand, both of them laughing, “I gotta pop that cherry, it’s killin’ me thinking she’s untouched.”

“Be careful, bro. JJ’s not gonna let that happen. Dude’s basically pissed a circle around her…”

“Ellie?” Logan pulled away, her shoulders tightening as she felt Rafe reach for her arm, “They’re talking about Ellie?!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Rafe pulled her back when Logan moved to walk in their direction, “you can’t go around cracking skulls because people are talking, doll.”

“Oh yeah?” Logan pulled her arm from his grip, “Fucking watch me.”

“Logan—”

Although Rafe was stronger, Logan was faster, moving quickly away from her car where Rafe had parked it before he could grab her hand, watching as the valet stand, and by extension the boys, grew closer.

The boys noticed her before she said anything, the new one averting his gaze as Andrew leaned against the stand, “Logan—good to see you this fine Wednesday afternoon. I thought you worked this morning?”

“Yeah, I just got off and I couldn’t help but overhear you talking…” The color in both boys’ faces drained and Logan rested her hands on her hips, “You think Ellie’s a virgin, huh?” No one said anything, simply blinking at her owlishly, “What? You can’t talk anymore…?”

“W—we were just taking,” Andrew cleared his throat, “it wasn’t meant to be heard by anyone else…”

“Does that make it ok to say?” Logan asked, “Ellie’s sex life is none of your concern unless she chooses to discuss it with you. God forbid she invites you into it, so why don’t you two find something else to talk about, huh? Discussing your coworkers sexual history should be far from any of your conversations. It’s disrespectful, it’s gross, and it’s basically an HR violation, so…”

Andrew held his hands up and the new guy looked about ready to wet himself, both of them nodding with slightly parted lips before Logan turned to step off the curb, prepared to return to Rafe and her car when an all too familiar Camaro rolled to a stop right in front of her.

Christopher’s shit eating grin greeted her and Logan only exhaled as he pushed open the door and climbed out. He was dressed in a nice suit she hadn’t ever seen him wear when they were together, adjusting the jacket as he crossed in front of the vehicle, shiny metal watch catching in the sunlight.

“She givin’ you boys a hard time?” Christopher asked, stretching his arm out to hand over his car keys.

“No, sir…”

“Mhmm.” Christopher handed over a few folded bills after his key, stepping up onto the curb with his designer dress shoes, “I know a Logan Maybank ass chewing when I see one. Word from the wise, just nod and let her lose steam…”

Logan scoffed, her blood starting to heat more.

Christopher paused, pulling the sunglasses off his face before he winked at her, dark eyes lingering on her with a twinge of something that only made her more angry, “She likes a few other things too after that, but uh, you’re probably too young for her…” He looked her over, gaze flickering pointedly over her shoulder beyond his car, “Or are you into the young ones now, Lo-Lo?”

A sickly sweet smile formed across her mouth before she said, “Choke on your lunch, Chris.”

“Right back at you, sweetheart.”

—

Tagging @cdragons since Ellie belongs to her! Read her story here!

#obx-chats #fic: wild winds #logan x rafe #rafe cameron x oc #rafe cameron x original female character #rafe cameron fan fiction #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x pogue!reader #Wild winds: snippets

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humanradiojmp · 3 months ago

Text

My blind reaction to the Murder Drones Finale Part 1

Contains spoilers

Of course, got to have Cyn’s theme for the world ending. Fitting

Wha- REBECCA?!

The teacher could not care less the apocalypse is happening again. He is such a mood

Well there is no air in space, so it makes sense that there wouldn’t be sound, and that Uzi can’t really talk. communicating with space rocks and screens is a good solution

I like the parental advisory sensor. Do the worker drones have that automatically, or can they remove it at a certain point?

Space ship pilot!!! Makes you wonder though how and why they crashed the first time. got distracted or nervous or something?

I half expected the Wall-e kiss, but forehead taps are still good. got to have that comedic sensor cut off as well. I love this show.

Stop that. get help.

Not the Falling for You theme as they fall back to the surface!

That’s the understatement of the century

The ship being brought in looking like the creepy-ass hand that the solver drones got at the manor is such a nice touch

So J is aware of who Cyntessa really is and working with her. interesting. Like to know her reasoning why

Lizzy could not care less she’s about to die-

Is- is it?

SHE’S ALIVE! V’S ALIVE!!! YEEEEESSSSS!!!!!

Was holding my N-doggo plushy and squeezed him so hard and did leg tappies when I saw she was alive. V is back ya’ll!

With a little bit of Eternal Dream as well. I love this soundtrack and the attention to detail to it so much!

Not the sentinel wearing Beau’s hat. I feel like that’s horrible in a way but matches so well.

I laughed so much when I saw the meme.

And the name for V in Lizzy’s contacts. Wow

So much like V with her initial antagonizing towards Uzi, J sided with Cyn out of fear and a need to survive. She rationalized this was the best course of action, even if it’s siding with the obvious ‘bad guy’. But it’s nice to see J does have some semblance of care for her former team mates. Wonder if she also did it all for their sake as well as her own.

The sunglasses and cool pose. Their so cringe

I really like the animation of how Cyn walks in Tessa’s sink. Like it doesn’t quite fit and she doesn’t have complete control over it. nice touch to the creep factor of her existence

Oh yes, emotional and mental torture and manipulation is simply just ‘hurting his feelings’. It’s tots fine, he just needs to get over it.

And just like with Uzi, he can’t shoot Tessa, even if it’s no longer her. or maybe he knows it won’t work?

Nice little moment, but lesson number one kids – never take your eyes off the enemy, ever. Because then you’re going to get your heart stabbed out of your chest

Trying to push her core back in with no hands is so morbid

Of course she has wings. Why wouldn’t she?

I take back the J cares about her teammates statement. Unless she’s trying to make it less hard on herself?

The callback ping with the hands trying to find them, with N on the verge of a panic attack seeing Cyn clawing him out as well as the manor flashback is just so (satisfied grunting)

And Uzi’s heart trying to leave her chest because of the callback ping, her trying to keep it in but it’s pushing out like the monster from Alien (grunting continues)

Oh shoot, they don’t know she’s alive, and you can see just how traumatized the boy is. I really hope they get therapy after this if they survive. They really need it

You protected her from a trap, but at what cost?

V really was operating on fear, I knew it. I know a popular theory is that V remembered most if not all of what happened before Copper-9 and I wonder now if that theory has been proven true. Because she knew what this thing was capable of, and thought if she were to just follow orders, keep her head low, and not incite any callback of former memories, then maybe, just maybe, everything would be ok. But it never was going to be ok, was it? *draws V in for a hug* you need this. A lot.

Oooh, it was N’s core she was going to eat. Oh no.

Wait, Khan has the solver? Or was that a remote for something? (even watching it back, I’m still not 100% sure)

I really like how Uzi has full control of herself and her version of the solver, and how it’s hinted she has some control over the solver in general with how Cyntessa’s eye flickered purple. I kind of half wished they delved into that a little more in the fight to ensue, as it would have shown a cool mental version of a battle of wills. But…

Second part coming because of character limit

Second part

#murder drones #murder drones episode 8 #it's over guys #I'm happy #i'm sad #i'm all the things #radio rambles #humanradiojmp #text post #not art

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toasty-self-shipping · 5 months ago

Text

Summer romance part one

a self shipping fic

(repost because tumblr fuck it up)

the weather was getting hot and the beaches were starting to open a group of unusual friends made a plan to hit one to cool off and have fun through one certain alien was really excited since it was his first time at one

“ok let’s see towel sunscreen my heart shape sunglasses oh! can’t forget the bracelets”

cici walked over to her bed and grabbed five pearl like bracelets and put them in his bag and walks out the apartment

“I hope the sun isn’t too strong for me to fly over there ugh I can’t never ride subway again ever since that accident”

he begins to fly off luckily the clouds were out so the sun wasn’t too hard on cici

she pulls out her to check the location of the beach boyfriend sent a text message saying “when you see the Ferris wheel that’s when you know you found it” cici looks up and sees it

“oh there it is! wow there’s a lot of people here” he lowered herself down to the entrance and spots girlfriend boyfriend pico along with Darnell and nene

“why me and girlfriend and boyfriend are like the only three that are dressed for the beach and two are wearing long sleeve shirts!”

pico and Darnell rolled their eyes

“look your ass is going to freeze later on when the sun goes down and me and Darnell are going to be the only ones to stay warm”

Darnell nodded his head

“plus there’s some things I wanna graffiti on so this jacket is good for hiding my spray cans”

cici finally reaches to them after going through the crowd of people

“hey guys! sorry for taking so long to get here it was hard to get through a bunch of people”

“that’s ok we’re glad you could made it”

“I made something really pretty for all of us” she reaches into his bag and pulls out 5 bracelets “I made some matching bracelets for beach! you guys don’t have to wear them if jewelry isn’t your thing-“

“of course we wear them” boyfriend grabs a bracelet along with girlfriend

“they are very beautiful cici the pearls are pretty” girlfriend puts it on her arm

you made us one to? nene grabs a bracelet

“well of course I made you guys one! I didn’t want anybody to feel left out”

“I’m not a big fan of bracelets but I take it and put it in my pocket” pico takes the bracelet and puts it in his pocket

“yeah same I’m more of a earring guy but I take it” Darnell puts the bracelet in his back pocket

“so what’s the first we should do there’s a lot of stuff here to do” girlfriend asked the group

“well going to the beach area is on my mind I wanna get in the water to cool off and look for seashells”

“going to the beach does sound good to me”

“Mm yeah I can go with that! what about you guys wanna tag along with us” girlfriend asked pico

“well we were just going to the beach later around around like when the sun goes down a little bit” pico said to girlfriend

“plus we was going to the amusement park center to play some games right nene” Darnell looks at her

“huh oh! yeah the game and maybe win some prizes to” she was looking at bracelet

“ok then we you guys later let’s get to the beach before the day is over!” cici grabs girlfriend and boyfriend hands and runs off

“man it’s amazing how strong she is you guys ready to hit the park”

“yep!”

“alright let’s go”

Taglist: @starshroom-doodles @lex-n-weegie @animutate @lollipopjewel @r0sedevil @lovinglin @wisp-herr-rbs @jils-things @ava-ships @devilishstylist @lunarbun-ships @insertive-not-assertive @peachygalacticmenace @hubun @cupiidzbow @qilinkisser @femininelookingmale @normal-looking-male @ttimecode

#if you reblog this post just delete it because tumblr really messed it and just reblog the new one #my fics #self shipping #self shipping community #fnf selfship

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sanyu-thewitch05 · 1 year ago

Note

Hunter's daughter doing the loli dance trend

She became an internet sensation in a night and Hunter is gonna go hunting down the predators

He's making sure if his daughter becomes a child star, she'll have the best protection

A/N: Sorry, this took so long to answer. College is pilling up on me again. Also, I made Hunter's daughter a teen (15 going on 16) in this because I don't know how to write children who are really young.

"You did what?!" Hunter shrieks, waking you up.

"Hunter, what are you fussing about now?" You ask, getting off the couch.

"Come see what your daughter has danced to on that clock app!" Hunter yells, making their preteen daughter, Melody go into the kitchen.

You look at Lauren dancing and are slightly impressed she can dance so well.

"She got my moves," You say, smirking until you see Hunter's face."But, of course, the lyrics of the song are very inappropriate."

"Mom! That's so unfair! You've danced to much more inappropriate songs when you were on the majorette team when you were my age," Lauren whines, making you go still.

"Oh...true," You mumble, looking away from your eldest daughter.

"Don't use your mother's past against her. You're not going to dance to songs with lyrics like this on the internet for who knows what to save and view. In fact, I'm going to Henry to completely wipe this from the internet," Hunter says, storming out of the house.

You and Lauren look at each other and then laugh.

"How about I cut you a deal? You can still dance, but you join my old majorette team?" You offer, passing your daughter her phone.

"Deal!" Lauren exclaims, hugging you. "I wonder how long it's going to take for Dad to realize that the video of me doing the loli dance trend was in my drafts?"

"Oh, probably a while. Despite your father's job, he's not very smart. I remember when we were dating, I asked Hunter to get me a B-cup bra. He brought me a literal bra with bees on it. I laughed so hard that water spurt out of my nose. The best part was that the bra was an A-cup!" You laugh, making Lauren burst into laughter. "Oh, and then there was the time at our high school graduation, Hunter nearly fell off the front of the stage!"

You and your eldest daughter crack up and eventually stop.

"Mommy, what are we going to do for food?" Melody asks, tugging on your sleeve.

"Hmmm...how about GIRL DINNER!" You scream, making all of your daughters shriek with delight.

You give them your phone and they order their favorite dishes from their favorite restaurants. You pay for the order with Hunter's debit card and go into your room for face masks and salon care.

"Ugh! What does Elliot want now?" Lauren groans, flopping onto the bed. "Oh, Dad wants to know why there were four transactions on his debit card."

You had almost forgotten Henry has children. Elliot VanHelding, the eldest of Henry's children, goes to the same school as Lauren, and Delilah. Not only that, but he seems to fancy Lauren, which makes you worried.

"Just tell him we decided to take a girl's day off," You respond, sipping a strawberry lemonade margarita from the fridge.

"Ok, mom!" Lauren says, high-fiving you.

Hunter receives the text message and smiles a little.

"So, is the video deleted?" Hunter asks Elliot, crouching next to him as his friend's son does his magic.

"Yep! Completely erased from her drafts!" Elliot says, turning around to face Hunter.

"Drafts? So it was never published?"

"Nope."

"I've got to get back to my house."

By the time Hunter had gotten back, you, Lauren, Delilah, and Melody had locked every door, entrance, and window.

"Honey, this isn't funny! Open the door!" Hunter yells, pounding on the door.

"Sorry, babe! It's girl's night now!" You exclaim, shutting the curtains.

Hunter sees you wearing a fake scarf with cheap star-shaped sunglasses and hides a smile. Hunter grabs a pillow and blanket from the trunk and makes a bed for himself in the backseat of his car. He takes in the smell of the blanket and takes comfort in knowing that it smells like your perfume from when you went to the beach with Hunter for the summer before your senior year in college. His mind fills with summer memories, and they carry him to sleep.

#asks #sanyuthewitch05 #rich yandere #yandere jock #Honestly Hunter respects the feminine femininity in his house

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little-miss-dilf-lover · 9 months ago

Note

This one is really long, sorry!! Take your time responding to these! Also, I apologize for any mistakes 💺 anon

1) In a previous ask, I mentioned WD's (and Wolf's) loyalty to his wife and how Tan is the same so imagine he finds out both wd's and wolf's (+ shigeru kimura) wives died because of what they do or as a failed assassination attempt and he becomes more protective of us (if that's even possible)

2) Speaking of what he does, because of it I think our wedding is small, maybe a few close friends and omg imagine Lem pronounces us husband and wife??

3) Slow dancing with him?? One of his hand gently holding yours, the other one resting on your back, touching foreheads while slowly moving in the dimly lit room 🫠

4) This has been on my mind for quite a while, comparing hand sizes. We're the one who ask him to hold his hand out for us so we can make the comparison and you can see a faint smile as he sees the differences

5) Do you think he gifts us more rings so we match with him?

6) We talked about how he has tattoos that resembles us, how would he react if we got one that resembles him?

7) Ok now more of him after he shaved hehe !! "I won't be riding your face anymore" we tell him and he just freezes. The following days he'll leave lots of kisses down our stomach, doing anything to make us change our mind (it would honestly be so hot to hear him beg for us sm)

8) I really wish to know how the conversation after breaking the bed would go

9) In the novel this man is obsessed with books, so what do you think he likes to read?

10) Also you are so right about what kind of songs he listens to. I have a playlist of songs that remind me of him but they aren't songs that I picture him listening to. I'm starting to believe he doesn't even listen to music :)

More songs from my playlist: Give Me The Night by George Benson, I Like It by DeBarge, Norton Commander (All We Need) by Men I Trust, Tip Toe by HYBS, Outstanding by The Gap Band, Girl by Men I Trust

(Sorry for all the Men I Trust songs, they're my favorite band. Also, 'Girl' really reminds me of Tan, most of the lyrics are in french but when translated it screams reader and Tan, to me at least :)) + he owns Kill Me Pretty idc

Assassin!reader 1) More sassy reader!! Wearing sunglasses while running from yakuzas with a briefcase in our arms. Being overdramatic with our acting. Adding little comments to mock the assassin we're running away from. Happily walking away after gathering intel. 🍒, after humiliating and breaking down a gang leader: Toodle-oo! :D

2) I don't know why I thought of this because in my mind, Cherry doesn't really fight but Tan giving us brass knuckles? And he teaches us how to punch? That would be hot

3) Facetime while they're on a mission!! I feel like they have a laptop with them so it's easier to communicate with us. Maybe they are staying at a hotel when they call us, they talk about how the mission is going, we tell them what we've been up to, what we cooked. Just chill vibes and laughs. Hanging up would be the hardest part.

4) Listen, we could say the weirdest stuff and they'll still defend us. Ladybug is there like "What? That doesn't make any sense." Tan is quick to throw every insult he knows at him while Lem comes up with an argument on how we are actually correct

5) Imagine if we all shared a playlist, the chaos. You said Tan dabbles in classical music so it's funny to imagine that after a song that us or Lem put on the playlist ended, Caprice No.24 In A Minor by Niccolò Paganini starts playing

6) If we're also an assassin, who's babysitting?

+ some more lem 1) About your post of Tan's house, does Lem also live there?

2) Imagine before we started dating Tan, he gets really close and we jokingly say "Ask me to dinner first" (we're not joking we're dropping hints) and he laughs it off. Lem can feel his eye twitching

3) Ok look, he's very happy for us and Tan but that won't stop him from yelling "Cockblock!" when Tan tries to make a suggestive comment (I'm sorry it sounded funnier in my head)

4) All jokes aside, we talked about how Tan would consider breaking up with us to keep us safe and I honestly don't see Lem allowing it. Let's say we did get hurt and now Tan doesn't know what to do with himself, Lem would be the one to reassure him

5) Also, a random thought, if he takes our phone for whatever reason, he'll leave random photos, silly selfies and video vlogs

6) About his taste in music, I feel like he listens to a lot of different genres but I hc he likes R&B the most Mini playlist: Milestone by Tokyo Critters, Orange Mug by WONK, Rockstar by HYBS, Lust For A Vampyr by I Monster, Dare by Gorillaz (Feel like he picked up some songs from his time in Japan. Also I hc he likes I Monster and Gorillaz)

Also he def starts randomly singing

— Dad!Tan 1) Any name ideas for our second child? I had a classmate who's name was Nectarine (I was kind of jealous because it sounded cool) so maybe that or Clementine?

2) Thoughts on reader not being able to have kids so they adopt instead?

3) A scenerio I wanted to share: Telling Mandy we hope she finds someone like Tan and she accidently tells him!! They're in the kitchen, he's preparing a breakfast to surprise us with, when all of a sudden: "Oh um mommy told me she hopes I find someone like you one day" he turns to look at her, "Oh yeah? Why did mommy say that?" "Well she said it's because you make her happy. You respect her and make her feel safe..." she continues, trying to remember what we told her. He softly stares at her and smiles, his heart melting.

Uncle!Lem 1) He watches Thomas with them, it's a given. Also tries to figure out which train they'll be and gives them a sticker

2) He's still very much protective of them but he's more chill and let's them get away with stuff without us or Tan knowing. Like letting them stay up late, giving them just one more candy, and stuff like that

I say the word imagine way too much in these. But writing these ideas to you did help because now I've started writing more drabbles in my notes! So thank you 💗💗

hii angel!!! hopefully this all makes sense, I haven’t read or checked it 😭😭 hope you’re well 💓💓

1- the poor dude will be stressed as!!! rather than uncle ben dying in every universe, it will be an assassins wife. he would be so paranoid too!!! I do think he would essentially try to erase you and make it like you never existed. he thinks that way it might keep you safe

2- I do think the wedding would be very small and intimate regardless. OMG YES!!! I think lem might bring it up casually like “oh yeah, I can officiate your guyses wedding” and both have no idea that he’s registered to do it bc lem kept it quiet😭😭

3- get out that’s so cute🥲!!!!!!!! he’s actually such a romantic guy, I truly believe that

4- ARFFGHHQHAHHA FERAL. why you gotta say that???? now I won’t be able go think of anything else!!!! I have a hand kink

5- eheheh yes yes yes!! depends if you’re into gold or silver. he will either get a matching gold band for you, or the same in silver. even if not married, he likes the idea of having the same ring. or if you are married, then you have matching ring AND wedding ring🫠

6- he’d actually melt. he’d give a composed “that’s nice that” but would be a pile of melted jelly inside

7- 😭😭😭😭😭 he’d be regretting it even more. UGHHGGGGHHHH😩 I imagine him asking daily if it’s grown back enough. “it enough now?” and he’d have like 5 more hairs than day before. in love with the idea of him being uncharacteristically desperate for us

8- im thinking quite a bit of laughs and “can’t believe you broke the bed” maybe he’d shrug and collect his things to head off to the spare room. maybe we’re like “where you going?” and he’s all casual, getting into the bed in ONE OF THE MANY spare rooms. and maybe we’re like “can we sleep on the sofa tonight?” maybe he gets a bad back on there so he’s hesitant, but he can’t say no to us. as much as I don’t particularly like the trait, I do think he’s quite casual about broken possessions (he has money now so he’s more carefree about things, but hasn’t always been) and so he’s like “we can just get another one” bc now he doesn’t have to worry about money

that took a detour😭 sorry for waffle

9- me too!! I really don think he listens to music, there’s just songs that have his vibe and remind me of him. listened to the songs and love them!!! and he so does own that song (lwk turns me on bc I imagine the scene)😭😭😭

assassin reader

1- AAAHH sassy and I love it

2- would be so so hot???! and he teaches you things you may not know. how to hold a knife, how to punch most effectively, how to (idk what else, but you get the gist)

3- yesss!! and if it different time zones, will be facetiming them while we’re in the kitchen cooking. or if they have a spare few hours we’ll watch a movie together, have laptops facing us while we watch a movie on tv. we sync it so we can watch it down to the second and it’s like the twins are with you. hanging up will be so hard???!

4- yes!!! they actually get so defensive

5- im not too entirely sure if I think that still tbh😭 maybe on occasion, but he gives off old English money vibes so that kinda backs up that hc. omg that would be so funny, maybe lem is like “who the fuck put this on here?” maybe it’s a secret that tan likes that kind of music so we say it’s ours and then the more lem listens the more he likes it

6- they babysit themselves. jkjk. maybe tan doesn’t trust anyone else in his house, so someone on your side of the family???? and they’d be paid very decently

lem

1- oooo okay so. im thinking no, but lem has a room at the house (and it’s decorated and IS his room, not just a spare one he sleeps in) so lem is welcome to sleep over at anytime. in the house I used, I think it’s fairly common for another house to be on the property or to be right on the cusp of it. I think they live right next door, so that way they can be near each other, but still get their own space. I do hc lem as more of a city person and tan as a countryside/ rural person. so maybe lem has another flat in the city

2- 😭😭😭😭 lem gets heart palpitations, and can feel his brain throb bc it’s just getting too frustrating

3- def tries to wind him up about it

4- lem would NEVER allow it!!! “what you thinking mate?” “don’t let her go” “don’t do that” “there’s gotta be another way” “don’t. she’ll never forgive you” “she needs you, you need her” “we’ll figure it out, we always do” “don’t lose her” “I can’t live without her, and you definitely can’t”

5- AAAAAAHHHH😭 just pictures of lampposts, his shoes (bc he thinks they look cool) a blurry picture of a squirrel eating a nut, a kids dropped ice cream (with ‘LOL’ written on the image) and then a picture of him buying the kid a new one, a video of him getting nagged at by tan and he’s mocking him in the video (he’s such a child, I love it) a vlog of what it’s like going shop with tan for you

6- holy shit he is so gorillaz coded!!!!!!!! and you’re so right, he def sings and hums without even realising it

as I finished up writing this a song came on and it kinda give lemon vibes??? banquet - bloc party

dad tan

my beloved🫠

1- that is such a cool name!!? you know what, I really haven’t given it much thought so im not too sure sadly

2- adoption is definitely in the picture !! it won’t go unthought of

3- omgomgomgomg!!!? he wants to be the standard for his daughter so that she knows how she should be treated by men in the future, but he often thinks he messes up parenting, but moments like that definitely make him feel like he’s doing a better job. actually dying, what you said is so cute

uncle lem

1- omg😭😭😭

2- oh for sure !!! fun uncle lem

aaaahh yay im so glad!! thank you for sending me these, I loved it!! I wrote your request a few days ago, and it’s in my drafts. I’ll get it up tonight. BUUT I wrote this at the bottom of your request, but too excited so I’ll tell you now, when I was looking for images on pinterest I found a little girl that is the spitting image of tan as a little girl. brown curls, big blue eyes, so fucking cute so I now hc her as mandy 😭

I’ll add it here bc that’ll just be annoying if not😭 blurred her face out as don’t want to repost a picture of a toddler online, so you’ll just have to trust me

#ask #💺#tangerine #tangerine headcanon #tangerine x reader

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