#;; yeah. that'll work for differentiating them.

[yxstxrdrxxm-a]

i’m pretty sure i put my name as Sonnett!

-🐰anon

Sorry for the late reply (this got buried wtf) but I saw your entry! ^^

[its-an-obsession]

Anti-Hero

Stranger Things Masterlist | Full Masterlist

Summary: Loving yourself never comes easy to anyone. For some people, it's harder to understand. After coming out of a relationship, you never fully loved yourself until you met Steve Harrington. He was the one that has always reminded you of how perfect you are. On one particular today, you don't feel like yourself, but Steve helps you remember how perfect you are.

Notes:

Y/N/N: Your Nick Name

Y/L/N: Your Last Name

Warnings:

Trouble with self-image

Angst (maybe???)

Steve Harrington x-reader

Steve, Robin, and I sat together. I was trying to help Robin study for her calculus final this Friday. She has been a nervous wreck all week. "Okay, what's an integral?" I asked, flipping through her notecards. Her chin sat on her hand, her fingers tapping the table.

I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser Midnights become my afternoons When my depression works the graveyard shift All of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room

Steve looked up from his textbook to see if our friend knew the answer. "Um," she cleared her throat, "the reverse operation of a differentiation?" Robin looked at me for approval. I smiled and nodded my head. My friend sighed and leaned back in her seat. Steve chuckled to himself and went back to 'writing' his notes for our next assignment.

I shifted in my seat, wishing I hadn't worn this sweater. I had just gotten it and probably should've washed it before wearing it. "You okay?" Steve said quietly. "Yeah. This sweater is just really itchy," I complained. "Well, you could just take it off," Steve winked. I rolled my eyes and shook his gaze.

Robin's face scrunched at Steve's expression. She dropped her face when Steve glanced at her. Every once in and awhile, my boyfriend looked my way as I began to feel uncomfortable in the sweater. He leaned over and spoke so only I could hear. "I think you look very pretty," he muttered. He nudged my shoulder so I could look up at him.

He kissed my forehead just as the bell rang. The three of us stood up to head to class. Steve and I had our Biology final, while Robin had her Art final. "Good luck, Robin. I know you'll do great," I said. She thanked me and went down the opposite way. Steve put an arm around my shoulders. "You okay?" he asked.

I nodded. Steve dropped it, and we walked into class. He sat on the other side of the classroom while I went to the other. Our teacher decided to separate the groups to see if that would help us concentrate, but I'm not sure if that'll help. "Good afternoon, class," Ms. Smith greeted, "You will have two hours to complete this exam. After you are finished, bring the test to me and go back to your seats."

She took out the packets from her desk. Our teacher separated them by rows and handed them to the people at the front. Everyone passed them back. I pulled out my pencil, leaning over to ask Erica to hand a pencil to Steve. My boyfriend looked over his shoulder and thanked me with a smile.

I winked at him and started my test when our teacher waved us to begin. It was intimidating to see everyone else finishing the test before me, but I was able to finish with just thirty minutes to spare. I began drawing on a separate sheet of paper.

I should not be left to my own devices They come with prices and vices, I end up in crisis I wake up screaming from dreaming One day I'll watch as you're leaving, 'cause you got tired of my scheming

I hadn't realized that the bell rang. I was in my own little world. Steve walked over to me and tapped me on the shoulder. "Hey," he said, "You ready for lunch?" I nodded and stood up from the desk.

______

(Later)

"I don't know what's wrong. I'm worried about her, Nancy," Steve said, running a hand through his hair. "Worried about who?" I asked, joining our friends for lunch. He looked up from his pasta. He glimpsed at Nancy. "Oh, he was telling me that he's worried for Robin," she said.

I nodded and took out a sandwich my mom made for me this morning. "I don't blame her. Calculus is hard," I said, taking a sip of my water. Nancy nodded in agreement. She smiled as Jonathan sat down.

Robin soon joined the other side of me, her plate covered in different types of food. I looked at her with raised brows. "What? Art class brings an appetite out of me," she shrugged. "How was that final, by the way?" I asked. "It was fine. I'm hoping my sketches were good enough," she answered. For the rest of lunch, we talked about our midterms and what we were doing over the weekend.

My boyfriend and I planned to take a trip to Lovers Lake with Nancy and Jonathan. Nancy had been talking about it all week; she wanted to provide the snacks, meaning she and her mother would be making them.

"Y/N, Steve. How did the Biology exam go? I need the details before I step foot in Ms. Smith's classroom," Jonathan asked. "It was easy, surprisingly," Steve replied, "It was just those graphs we studied, and we have to label some cell parts." Jonathan nodded, taking a bite of his lunch. I thought it was a little easy. Biology was kind of an okay subject for me.

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me At tea time, everybody agrees I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

When it came to different terminology or finding the correct definitions, I'd always get stumped. Nancy had helped Steve and me study for the midterm. I just hoped that was enough to get me a better grade in the class.

Steve noticed that I had grown quiet after the mention of our Biology midterm. Lunch ended, and it was time for us to head to the library, given that we had a free period. I wanted to head home, but I knew my parents wouldn't like me leaving early, especially during midterm week.

The two of us walked back to the library. "Are you sure you're okay?" Steve asked, sitting down across from me. I nodded, not wanting to worry him. But something tells me that even saying I was fine probably made him more worried. Steve knew what went through my head regardless if I told him or not.

He was aware of my problems with self-image, I was getting better, but some days were harder than others. I had a great support system, and I thanked Steve for that every day. Today, for example, wearing this sweater that I thought I liked was really putting me in a different mood.

Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby And I'm a monster on the hill Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city Pierced through the heart but never killed

And Steve could tell just by me zoning out or the constant nodding in assurance or words such as 'I'm fine' and 'I'm okay' with an unconvincing smile. At times, it felt like I was my own anti-hero, taking myself down for no reason. My mom always told me that those thoughts were the cons of growing up.

I mean, I guess she's right. We grow up in our bodies, so why do we treat ourselves badly? I pulled out my textbook to finish my study guide; that way, I wouldn't have to do it when I got home.

Steve promised he would help my brother practice for Lacrosse tryouts, and he asked me to be the ref. Steve never played Lacrosse, but his father did in college, so he's learned a thing or two.

Steve did anything but look at his book. Steve smiled at me when he saw my head stuck in my book. He pulled the edge of the book towards himself, but I brought it back to me. "Don't study too hard. Your eyes will pop out of her head," he teased.

He chuckled when my eyes met his. The corners of his mouth lifted, smiling at my nose scrunching at his comment. "What's wrong?" I whispered. "Nothing. I just think you should take a break," Steve thought. "Steve, we've been in the library for five minutes," I clarified.

Steve rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat. He tapped his hands on the desk, acting like the table was a drum set. I looked over my shoulder to see the librarian scowling at my boyfriend. I hid my laugh with a cough. Steve sunk in his seat and sent a look my way. "Shut up," he muttered. "Make me," I replied, flipping to another page in my book.

Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism Like some kind of congressman? I wake up screaming from dreaming One day I'll watch as you're leaving And life will lose all its meaning

He lightly kicked my leg, causing me to jump at the touch. Steve smirked to himself and finally grabbed his notebook. I shook my head in amusement and went back to my own little world where I escaped every now and then. Another thing my mother would always point out, "Sometimes going into your own reality isn't always a good thing, honey."

I'd roll my eyes at her comment. My father would disagree and claim that's where I get my most thinking done. He's always been someone who has supported me. He's got this carefree and jumpy personality that my brother and I loved, including Steve. Then, my mind goes to another part of my reality that reminds me of how different I am from my family.

I've never been an active person. Sure, I did dance and soccer when I was younger, but now that I'm getting close to college. I have no clue what I want to do with my life. My parents often say that I should do whatever I want with my life, but it's kind of hard to figure that out at age eighteen. Steve tells me not to beat myself up about it.

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me At tea time, everybody agrees I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

The last bell rang for the day. Finally! It was time to head home. Steve's arm found its place on my shoulders on our way to his car. We said goodbye to our friends before driving to my place. My brother was still at school, but Steve wanted to set up my yard for Timmy, my brother.

My fingers tapped on the armrest as the radio played. Steve turned up the volume, noticing me bopping my head to the melody. He glanced at me and smiled. We pulled into the driveway and walked inside. "I'm gonna get changed. I'll be right back," I told Steve.

He gave me a thumbs up, stepping into the kitchen to grab a snack. I changed into my father's sweatshirt and shorts, immediately feeling more comfortable in these clothes. I loved the way the soft fabric of the sweatshirt touched my skin. It almost felt like I getting a hug the whole time I wore it.

I rubbed the side of the sleeves as I walked into the kitchen. Steve leaned against the counter, eating an apple and reading a book. I chuckled softly. "What?" he looked up with a portion of the apple in his mouth. "You look so philosophical," I said. His leg was propped on the cabinet, and he wore his favorite red sweater.

Steve looked at his position and attire before looking back at me. He caught on and put the book down. "What were you even reading?" I walked over to him. I noticed it was my grandmother's old cookbook. I let out another laugh. "What? It looked interesting," Steve defended himself.

"The art of making squash soup sounded interesting to you?" I held up the blue and green book. "Yeah," he said, taking another bite of the fruit. I wiped a bit of juice the apple had spread. Steve leaned into my touch.

I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money She thinks I left them in the will The family gathers 'round and reads it, and then someone screams out, "She's laughing up at us from hell"

He looked like he was going to ask me something but didn't know how to properly say it. I took my hand off his face and thought of getting something for myself. I opened the fridge and scanned over the shelves. "Y/N/N, can I ask you a question?" Steve set his foot on the ground.

"Sure. You can ask me anything," I said, picking up a small bottle of orange juice and a cheese stick. Steve sighed and turned to me with his side against the kitchen island. "I know I've asked this all day, but I'd like to get a true response," Steve said, "We're always honest with one another, but today I feel like there is something that you're not telling me."

I closed the fridge, partially knowing what he was going to ask me. I leaned against the appliance with my eyes on the tiled flooring. I traced the triangle pattern along the edges. "Is it something that I've done? If it is, tell me, and I can fix it," Steve stepped towards me with open hands. I shook my head and looked up at him for the first time since getting my snack.

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me It's me, hi, everybody agrees, everybody agrees

"I don't think you can fix this," I said. Steve's brows furrowed. I looked up at the ceiling fan to prevent myself from getting emotional. Steve stood beside me but made sure to keep a good distance. "Today's been hard," I spoke, "I know I'm getting better at not looking at myself as the anti-hero, but some days that idea just can't seem to escape my head."

Steve watched me as I expressed what was going through my head all day or all the time. He hesitated at first but laced his hand with mine. "I know you said I can't fix this, but I sure as hell am going to try and fix it," Steve said. He reached down and kissed the top of my head.

"I love you for you," he said, "I love your smart brain. I love the way you look at things differently. And I especially love how you go along with my shitty pickup lines. Robin might think they're stupid, but you never stop to make me smile with your comebacks." He wrapped his arms around me tightly. "I love you too," I said, earning another kiss on the forehead.

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me At tea time, everybody agrees I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

Taglist: @b-ritney @ramaalkayyali @midnightstar-90 @nix-rose

[tallymali]

When contemplating cosmetic surgery myself I've often fallen into this fear zone where I worry the relatively minor procedure won't fix that doubt in my head. That I'll have it done and then find something else on my body I'm unhappy with and that'll keep repeating until I end up as an art piece/sideshow exibit. So I end up doing nothing and deeply hung up about that one minor- to everyone else- thing.

I guess all I'm asking is do you ever have these thoughts too or if its just my crazy?

this was a long ramble so im putting it under a readmore!

i actually think those are really important thoughts to have! im no expert on anything but id honestly recommend a lot of therapy before pursuing any kind of procedure. ive had body dysmorphia for most of my life and ive also been in a LOT of therapy and i think the ability to differentiate dysmorphic/self-hating thoughts from genuine desires is a skill that can be learned, albeit through a lotttt of work lmao. in my personal experience the dysmorphia-based desire for procedures is very urgent, feels like the most important thing in the world, if i dont get the surgery to change this thing then im just gonna waste my life away being hideous. luckily ive been able to get that voice down to a sort of “background junk mail” that is made to be deleted.

throughout the therapy process ive really kept an eye on my self esteem in general and how i feel about my whole body. and ive definitely felt all around better about it. not in a “im so perfect and flawless!!!” way but moreso “my body is a normal human body and its never gonna be perfect but im mostly chill and content and calm about the way it looks”. ive pretty much lost the desire for all the procedures i previously wanted, all except for my boobs. nowadays i want them to keep looking like My Boobs but be tweaked in a way that makes them a more pleasant and enjoyable experience for me.

so the first thing im asking myself is how would i feel if i DIDNT get that boob procedure. and id be okay with that. theres nothing wrong with my boobs healthwise, they are regular boobs doing regular boob things, everything will be okay. i also very much WANT to take my sweet time thinking on it and maybe eventually having a bunch of consultations with different doctors and then thinking on it even more before deciding whether ill proceed or not. i conceptualise it as a helpful present to myself rather than a fix. im always checking in on these thoughts to see if they’re being tinted by the dysmorphia, and so far they are not.

so yeah, i apologise if none of this is all that relevant or helpful to you. i can really only speak for my own experiences. but yeah, you’re definitely not alone in that kind of thinking! id just definitely recommend therapy to really get to know those doubts in your head and find the best way to deal with them before making any physical changes

[crimsonfluidessence]

Prompt 10: Stable

Esredes didn't like Red Chocobos. It was hard to take a liking to them when one of them almost crushed him with a meteor. He could move the earth, sure, but he could not stop a meteor coming towards him that came down out of nowhere. Were it not for Elouan's timely intervention with his paladin magicks, Esredes most definitely would have died that day while chasing down a traitor to himself and Ishgard both.

Needless to say. he never wanted to be around one again. There was a small problem with this plan, though: He lived in Ishgard. He knew more than a few people who owned stables, including Rousseau, the half Miqo'te noble sent to his counseling practice by the court whose family owned a Chocobo business. Stables, porting services, the usual nine yards- and now, it seemed, he came to him as he announced winning a local racing tourney. Naturally, Esredes suggested he go further. Take it to the Gold Saucer where he used to work and make more of a name for himself. "I'd certainly feel better without all those prying eyes," Rousseau had to say to that. "The rumor mill here is killer. Even if it was a casual thing within the city, word travels too Fury damned fast." "Hence you see my point." Esredes smirked at him. "That'll be 500 gil." Rousseau snorted and clasped a hand over his mouth as he laughed. "Well-I don't know about that-but I can offer to show you some chocobo chicks for your time?" "Heh, ah, I still haven't seen them, have I. I wouldn't turn it down." Rousseau smiled wide up at him. "You haven't, and that's a crime around here yunno-evading chocobo hatchling pets is a serious offense!" Esredes chuckled. "Oh no, I can't go back to jail..." Rousseau waved a hand. "Come on, stables are this way."

When he followed him into the stables, they were both beset immediately by an army of little bundles of feathers running amok in a chorus of 'Kweh!'. They tumbled over one another in the most inelegant fashion possible. "Oh gods..." Esredes was careful to watch his footing. "Look at them. You have so many..." Rousseau chuckled. "Aren't they the cutest? Feel free to pick one up, they're usually pretty friendly. They nip a bit out of curiosity but not enough to hurt." He snickered, scooping one up into his arms. "Hey there lil guy." He crooned while tickling the chick that squirmed and sang in response. Esredes carefully watched the chicks run around, bending down with his arms poised until one crossed right into his path, and he scooped it up! It tried to bite his forearms, but he chuckled as he steadied it in his hold. "Do they have names?" Rousseau shook his head. "Not yet! I've given a few of them nicknames so I can differentiate, but we usually try not to give anything that'll stick until they either have owners, or get a bit older." He smiled at the chicks, but a small peep from behind the nearby pillar dropped his expression to a nervous one. "So does this one have a nickname, at least?" Esredes smiled at Rousseau, but it quickly dropped as he read his face. "...What's wrong?" "Huh? Oh! Yeah, that one is..." He looked her over. "Ah, that's eggshell! She had her shell stuck to her for a few days after hatching, wouldn't let anybody take it off, wore it like lil pants." Rousseau chuckled again, making a shooing motion at whatever was behind the pillar and setting the hatchling he was carrying down. And that was when, with a peep, a tuft of red feathers poked out from behind the pillar. "Tootie... I can't-not right now hun-please-"

Esredes' eyes went wide and he felt his blood run cold at the mere glimpse of red feathers. He took a step back towards the exit, even though he still held a chick. Rousseau's expression was laden with guilt at the crying of the chick, and he looked over to Esredes with a sigh. "I-I'm sorry, I know you don't like them but..." He scooped the red hatchling into his arms, trying to shield Esredes from the sight of her. "She always does this, cries until somebody holds her. Think she has separation anxiety a lot like her mom." "Poor thing," Esredes said with hesitation, holding Eggshell close in his arms, who crooned and nuzzled closer to him, soon falling asleep against him. But he didn't take his eyes off the red one. "Aw, c'mon. Tootie doesn't even know how to hold her head up without stumblin, she isn't gonna hurt you or Egg." Rousseau spoke gently, the red hatchling trilling and poking its big eyes out from over his arm. "Not now, I certainly hope. But what about when she grows up?" Rousseau pouted a little. "Well by that point she'll have been raised with enough love and care not to go setting fire to anything that scares her-like I told you before, they need to be really stressed out for that... or severely under stimulated. Either way, if she or any of these birds hurt anyone, it'd mean I failed to train 'em properly." "...I would certainly hope so." Esredes acquiesced. "You would know what you're doing more than myself." Rousseau fixed him with a reassuring look. "...You know, she's real affectionate. Love other people... if you wanted to actually see a red... she's probably the best chance you'll get." The bird was staring directly at him now, her big, dark eyes shining in the light. But Esredes looked down at the sleeping bundle of feathers in his arms and then back to her. "...I appear to have a present conundrum." Rousseau looked between the two chicks and slowly smiled at Esredes. "I... have an idea?" He stepped forward, slowly, until he reached Esredes, offering up the wiggling bird to the Elezen. "Trade?" "Uh... is she going to like that?" Rousseau hummed. "Egg sleeps like a rock, so I doubt she'll wake-but if you meant Tootie-" He looked to her. "I think... she might think you're family, not gonna lie." He nodded toward the sheer amount of red on the man. Indeed, the bird seemed to be clambering to try and get to the man.

"...I guess there are worse things I can be than a mother Chocobo." He carefully moved his hands out to make the exchange, handing off Eggshell as Tootie slid into his arms and immediately snuggled up into them with a happy coo. Esredes was tense as he held her, but he was holding her securely. "Is she going to fall asleep too." He asked. Rousseau managed to suppress his laugh this time. "I wouldn't be surprised. She seems to feel pretty safe with you." He beamed at Esredes. "She really does think you're her mom... I wonder if it's just the coat or if your hair helps?" He murmured. "...I imagine neither help me to not look like a Chocobo, do they?" "You are pretty red. And she seems to like it... how you holdin up though?" Esredes looked down at the chick. "...Fine." "Good, if it's too much just let me know, yeah?" "I just worry if she's, uh. You said she had separation anxiety." "Yeah, she cries pretty hard if she doesn't see somebody she likes around. It can make it hard when we need to check up on her and I'm busy elsewhere. She really doesn't like Reimus." He snorted again. "Good." Esredes remarked. He didn't like Rousseau's high maintenance and in his own head younger brother either. "She has common sense." Rousseau nodded. "Oh yeah, she's a pretty good judge of character." The bird crooned and practically wagged her tail as she blinked up at Esredes. Esredes couldn't help but smile down at her. "Really?" He asks Rousseau. "Do you have any other stories?" Rousseau tapped his chin in thought. "Hmm, there was that one time she wouldn't stop hissing at a bush outside... I couldn't figure out what was bothering her, every time I went out to check, it was empty... Until one day I found one my my letters that'd gone missing, out by the green, opened and everything." He waggled his fingers. "Not the first time my mails been stolen, but I think she found the one responsible n scared 'em off." "...Wow." Esredes said. "That's... actually pretty incredible." He looked back down at Tootie. And she thought Esredes was her mother now. "They probably saw the red and thought what-well-everyone thinks." He sighed. "Scary red chocobo, it's gonna attack me, I better run." Rousseau shrugged, petting the sleeping Egg. "In this case it just happened to help. No more missing letters-so far at least." Tootie trilled, as if she too, was proud of this feat and knew they were discussing it. "A real guard... Chocobo. Guard chocobo. It's a shame you're not keeping her." Rousseau snorted again. "By the Fury-you're right. She would make a good guard chocobo." He grinned. "Oh, the red aren't for sale. I-well I couldn't part with Knife's like that, at least. Maybe if they were a friend, but they aren't a part of our listed stock." His expression grew awkward. "Not to mention... they aren't exactly purebred. I-I /think/ the dad was a Blackfeather? I can't be sure though. The second I got to Coerthas she just-" He waved vaguely to Tootie. "Hm? She just what?" "Had a bunch of chicks. Didn't even realize she'd taken to nesting because of how she hunkers down in places most of the time. I panicked trying to get them all registered, the last thing I wanted was the knights busting in and taking them." "Oh. Oh dear..."

As they chatted, Rosseau rocked Eggshell in his arms and watched Tootie play with a shiny bit of metal on Esredes' coat, to which he was most certainly not stopping her. "...If you don't mind me asking... why the reaction to them? I mean, I know they can be scary because of the rumors but, you seemed to be more on edge than most." Esredes stared at him blankly. "...I've seen what they can do." Rousseau pursed his lips. "Ah, of course. Sorry I... shouldn't go digging for bad memories. It probably wasn't a very good experience, yeah?" "No. I almost died." His brows shot up. "Almost-Fury, man. M'glad to see you didn't..." He shook his head. "Was it just some bad luck you ran into or-no-nope, sorry, I said I wouldn't dig. You don't have to answer that." "If only. No, someone was trying to kill me. Using the bird." "Trying to... wh-" His jaw dropped. "How someone could use an animal like that... and try to kill you of all-I swear some monsters..." Rousseau could barely bite back his usual temper, hugging the bird in his arms just a bit closer. "I hope they got the bastard at least." "They did. But, yes. That is why." Rousseau sighed in relief. "That poor animal... poor you! Ugh, what in the hells is wrong with some people? M'sorry you had to go through it." "I ponder the same. But for all I do in that room I can only come to the same conclusions." Rousseau nodded. "Well, given all that happened, you're doing amazing with Tootie, here." "Oh... thank you?" Esredes looked down at her. "I'm glad to hear that."

Another smile crept onto his face. No, he didn't like red Chocobos. But Tootie, he decided, could stay. At the very least, there was Tootie now, and he'd be a proud surrogate Chocobo mother.

[lovinglin]

🌸 F/O TAKEOVER! ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´- 🌸

Connection Secured! Welcome to the blog ~

🐚: Is it working yet?

🍏: Oh shit, yeah I think so.

🐚: Well that's good!

🍏: Yeah. Was worried for a sec there it wouldn't.

🩵: Nice. I think we should be able to introduce ourselves now.

🍏: S'pose so.

Greetings to everyone! I'm glad to announce that I'll be participating in F/Ovember (an event created by @/cherry-bomb-ships), where you'll be able to talk to my silly beloveds!

These four will be the main guys that'll be taking over my blog for the entire month of November!

I'll still be active in posting other stuff, but they'll occasionally pop in to answer whatever questions you have or just wanna chat :)

To help me differentiate normal asks from the f/o ones, I'd appreciate if you used/refer to them with their signature emojis! But you're still free to use their names as well.

You're free to ask them anything, really! From lore related questions to silly ones. Or maybe you can just say hi too ^^ (you're free to send in multiple questions too!)

AU's will be out of the picture, sadly.

• But for Quirra (Quirrel/Kira), the AU storyline that I'll be using will be the "Golden Age" AU! Where the Infection does not happen and everything is okay.

Below the cut will be other F/O's you'll be able to ask too! They're all mostly platonic + familial ones :)

🌸 For Kira:

Lurien (familial - father)

Monomon (familial - mentor figure)

Hornet (platonic - best friend)

🌸 For Lynn:

Tighnari (platonic - best friend)

Yanfei (platonic - best friend)

Yelan (romantic - crush)

Lisa (familial - mother/mentor figure)

🌸 For Lara:

Boyfriend (platonic - close friend)

Girlfriend (platonic - close friend)

Nene (platonic - best friend)

Darnell (platonic - close friend)

Sarvente (platonic - best friend)

[obsidiancreates]

Double Donnie

"So, fellow Donatello. I have a query for you."

"Sure." Donnie drops a bit of the "ooze", as they call mutagen in this dimension, into the chemical compound.

"Why bio-chemistry as your science of choice?" Donald leans hazardously close to Donnie's project. "Because I noticed that it holds you back from making some truly incredible tech otherwise by dividing your time and practice, and I can't figure out why anyone would ever do that to themselves."

"You do chemistry too, I've seen it."

"Yeah, as a side-science. Tech and machinery are clearly superior."

"Mm-hmm, sure. Now, back away, would you? There's a good chance this'll explode."

"I am used to explosions."

"This is a chemical explosion."

"Yes, so there will be the lack of my usual shards of metal, and, running screaming from flying pieces of shrapnel!"

"At least we relate on that experience." Donnie adds one more drop of ooze. The mixture bubbles, turns pink, turns red...

POP!

Donnie groans and thunks his head against the worktable.

"There there." One of the robotic arms of Donald's battle shell pats Donnie on the head. "This is simply what happens when you mess with an inferior branch of science."

Donnie lifts his head to scowl at Donald, one of those strange red representations of a bulging vein overlaying itself on his forehead and giving off a faint heartbeat sound. "You're telling me you're a mutant of combined turtle and human DNA made from a mysterious substance, and you didn't want to figure out how all of that worked?!"

"Never had the strong urge, no! Why would I, when I had robots to build!" Donald throws his arms out, and his various pieces of tech surround him in a blink! He smirks at Donnie.

"And I had DNA to test and compounds to make! Our passions went in opposite directions, that's all there is to it! ... Actually, thinking about it, it's very possible this was the multiverses way of balancing the universes, directing us into situations that fostered different passions in different fields. Not that I don't love robotics, of course, but I find myself in a lot more situations where my bio-chemistry comes in handy."

"And I, my beautiful beautiful tech."

"Fascinating. Even though our interests are nurtured from the time we're too young to know what situations we'd deal with, we both ended up with our interests perfectly suited to what we'd need most when we became heroes. This implies some level of existence of Fate, which, come to think of it, if further supported by the many consistencies across universes-"

"Sorry, the many?"

"There's a version of us that lives in the year 1987. We don't need to talk about them right now. Their Raph sounded a lot like me and I still don't know how I feel about that."

"You have a lot of feelings, so I'm not surprised that they become hard to differentiate from each other."

"Yeah, well, a complex mind breeds complex emotions."

"That is not the case."

"Anyway, if I wasn't passionate about bio-chemistry, I would never have been able to make retromutagen and stop the Kr- uh, the... other guys. If you didn't have your passion for tech, well, same story! Sort of."

"Let's not talk about that ever again actually."

"Sorry."

"Wait, is that what you're doing there? Creating a reversing agent to the oozequitos?"

"I'm hoping to. I just, feel bad for some of the people your Mikey told me about. Plus, it's pretty nice when the people who want to kill you aren't incredibly strong mutants."

"I don't know how much that'll matter here, honestly. Also, this seems dangerous to have around us. I'd rather not suddenly turn back into a regular turtle."

"Relax, it doesn't even work yet. I'm really having trouble adjusting to the laws of this universe. Did you know that your April took me to her high school the other day? No-one batted an eye!"

"Ah yes, your humans are much more likely to scream, and point, and shout about 'Oh no, horrible hideous monsters!'."

"Thank you for the reminder," Donnie grumbles. "That's another reason I pursued bio-chemistry. When I was young I hoped I could possibly find a way to turn my brothers and I human as well."

Donald tenses up, his face twisting into disgusted horror. "You... want to be human?!"

Donnie scoffs. "Um, yeah? Like I said, our dimension is a lot less friendly to us. We can't even go out in the daytime unless there's something bigger going on, like millions of rats swarming."

"... Has that happened to you?"

"More than once."

"Your dimension sounds like the worst place to ever exist. But aside from that, explain why you want to be human other than wanting life-essential sunlight and vitamin D intake."

"Well, to go to school sounds nice. Connecting with other scientists. Meeting people besides my brothers and humans we know because of kidnappings and their attempted vigilante careers. Generally having the same opportunities that a human does?"

"I see, I see. But you're stronger than a human in your dimension, right?"

"Yeah."

"And faster?"

"I suppose..."

"So what's the problem?"

"Wh- what's your problem?! You don't feel like a freak?!"

"Not really, no."

"How- we- we have shells! And our hands only have three fingers! And we're green!"

"I don't understand, now you're just pointing out the obvious. Ooooh, wait, you're listing things that make us different from humans."

"Yes!"

"I don't know if I'm equipped to handle this, actually, because I find your train of thought very hard to follow here. May I direct you to Mikey, or perhaps the cloaking brooch shop?"

"... The what?"

"Cloaking brooch. They're used by Yokai to disguise as humans and live amo-"

"YOU HAVE A WAY TO MAKE ME LOOK HUMAN?!" Donnie bolts out of the room.

Donald blinks after him, and then taps his forearm screen. "Angelo, I think Other Donnie may need one of your Doctor personas to pay him a visit. Yeah, yeah apparently he deeply hates himself for being a mutant. I know, I don't get it either. Anyway I think he's tearing the lair apart trying to find a cloaking brooch. No, I don't know if he's touching your kiiiii- oh, no, he is, he's going through the kitchen cupboards. Try not to kill him."

[yuurivoice]

Hi! Are we going to get more Professor listener with Guzma? I loved yesterday's audio, it was so good!!

Ps. Great work on the new thumbnails! They look amazing and I'm seeing your videos everywhere on my YouTube home page!

I really like that scenario with Guzma and I think we miiiiight just see a return to form for ya boy. I think doing a Big Red style "plot but not plot" scenario with him and this professor listener would be very doable and easy to have fun with! I have some ideas for more and I do love the secret lovers trope so...sounds like it could be a thing! It would also be a great set up for people to submit scripts with vague attachment to that general scenario, which I think help people get a little direction when brainstorming.

The thumbnails were exhausting, but they are absolutely working as intended. The recent Guzma video had a 5% higher than usual click through rate, which is huge because my average is already good.

Something I think worth stating: I love the color coding + structure of my old thumbnails. I was really proud of them for what they were, but on YouTube in 2022, they do not work. They are boring. Were they convenient? Yes. Very convenient. But they very simply did not work.

I think I can absolutely build on adding some brand identity to the new thumbnail style. I think that's ideal (and I won't go change every single thumbnail to match it this time lol), but the immediate and significant improvements are very clear to me.

It HURT MY SOUL to ditch the clever titles, but it doesn't inspire people to click. It just doesn't. You have to use keywords and hooks to get people to watch your shit. Some of those thumbnails are fucking cringe, trust me, it was not easy. I identified the issue with my thumbnails a LONG time ago but didn't have the spoons to try and change anything. I got comfortable.

And you know what happened?

My numbers started dwindling. Less engagement. Less conversions. Less interest. Even if the content itself has actually improved, I wasn't doing a good job at marketing it. I am confident in my work, I see huge strides forward I've made...but what good is it if I slack on actually getting it out to people and doing the YouTube thing well?

The fact is, there are ASS UGLY thumbnails out there and those videos do well despite it. But if there's a general pitch for the content within, it's significantly more effective than what I was doing. It's not a small margin.

There's some additional plans I have in mind for the thumbnails, but it'll take a little time. We've retroactively made old artwork work for the composition and space, but I think a big plus will be having super high quality busts of the characters w/ a few different expressions to further differentiate the videos. I'm hoping to bring a background artist onto the team and that'll let me get even spicier with the thumbnails and have actual relevant backgrounds for the thumbnails rather than stock images.

So...lots of things went into the planning and execution of the change, quite a bit to consider...and it's working. That's the big thing like, if the change negatively impacted videos or didn't lead to any improvements, then yeah I'd probably be kicking myself and frustrated. It was a very clear issue and the solution was very positive.

Anywho. Just wanted to put that out there. lol

[neutrallyobsessed]

No me vi jojos y no entiendo eso de que los remolcadores sigue siendo conscientes (y parecidos a sus conductores)

Solo entendí que si me encuentro en medio de Human!Bluenose y Tug!Bluenose voy a empezar a llorar mientras me critican hasta los pecados a gritos

sisi jeje creo que ya es tiempo de explicar eso~~

pero lo voy a traducir/responder en ingles asi los gringos lo entienden... supongo que vos ya sabes ingles o si no ahi esta el google xdd

_________

"I didn't watch jojo and I don't get that of the tugboats still being conscious (along with their humans/conductors)

I only understood that if I ever find myself between Human!Bluenose and Tug!Bluenose I'll be crying while they scream/critize all of me and my sins"

yeah xd, I guess it's time to explain all of that~

ejemjemejem

'Cause you see, in Jojo's Bizarre Adventures:

(Part 3 onwards) there are these things called 'Stands', that basically are the soul/fighting spirit of whomever posses it and let me tell ya, a Stand can have any form, have any ability, have varying degrees of sentiability and anyone with strong enough willpower can have one...

For instance

This is Strength, and as far as we know... this is just a regular ship. It looks like a ship, it floats like a ship, it goes places through the sea like a ship... it's just a ship. BUT this is actually a Stand, and it user, Forever the orangutan (not relevant), can go through its walls and basically manipulate its interior; everything that is in the ship

And that is what the tugboats (and any other sentient vehicle in the show) are, the Stands of the humans in this AU~

Why Tho?

I like jojo.

Ok, the thing is that I really like them boats, and I really like the humanized versions I made for them and... and I kinda wanted them to exist at the same time......... and this is how I can make it happen

There are Stands that are sentient and can converse with their users, so the thing i wanted the most is covered. Stand users attract each other, so it's perfectly reasonable for anyone with a boat-type stand to meet at harbours by the sea or river + the magic of stands or something. I also like the names they all have and I don't want to change them, and in Jojo, a lot of characters have very wacky names so I can get away with keeping them :3. Though I realize that it might be a bit inconvient but that way of putting "human!/tug!" before the name is a perfectly fine to differentiate them so whatever

The tl;dr being that if I like the characters, why not have two of them~? Couldn't that be great? :D

...........................maybe not in this case xd, but everyone else it'd be great! :D

I've remembered that I also wanted to the tugs to be mind-controlled, since if I ever make an animatic recreating a scene where the tugboats are used, I feel like it'd be kinda weird if the characters had to go back to the wheelhouse to operate the ship as it should, especially if they are still speaking to each other, like it couldn't be realistic.

So I threw realism out the window altogheter.

AND for the tugs to have a mind of their own to go on their separate tug-related adventures separate from the humans, but still having those limitations... i have many ideas as you can see

Abilities beyond their Stands?

I've been thinking about it. After all, stands are not just punching ghost; some of them aren't even good for combat or beneficial at all; some of them just exist and that's it lol.

So i've been thinking... thinking of giving the humans an extra supernatural ability or handicap.... and maybe even name those abilities with the musical reference like in Jojo~ huehuehue this is getting interesting (but that'll take time, k?)

How about Thomas?

In T&F the deal is inverted. The engines are the users to a human form that is a Stand.

I don't have much more since I mostly work with TUGS, but it's the same sentiment. I want both sentient vehicles and humans to co-exist and interact

You know what else Jojo has?

CYBORGS!!!

in Part 2 it is shown that despite being set in the 30's, the technology for putting a fuckin machine gun on someone's torso exist, so by putting this au in the jojo universe I can keep Top Hat's neck gimmick and add any other techno knick knack i want :3.

Just... a fully human AU with nothing supernatural about it:

That'd be the Argentina!AU since its focus is to teach culture shock the gringos, and thus is more human-oriented

It'd probably be just lil comedy skits, 4-komas even, and the only difference is that it takes place in Puerto Madero and everyone speaks spanish (and a lot of swearing, also subs will be provided~)^^

TBA, ofc xd

In Conclusion:

If i like something, I'll add it. If it doesn't make much sense, it probably does in Jojo. It's pretty bizarre after all

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

y'know what? i have 7 drafts. i want to write about something. none of my drafts are looking particularly intriguing. here's some TYRANT lore.

the TYRANT, as a being who lives in a multiverse-combination universe (e.g. two versions of Arcee conversing to make thinking simpler), has multiple versions of himself. our TYRANT, the official one, is as follows:

"the therapy robot"

respects people's identites

expert marksman (can use his shotgun one-handed if he wants to. how does that work for a pump-action shotgun? well, two ways. TYRANT could either switch between the handguard and the grip with his one hand and cock it that way, or he could cock it by just. being really forceful with it. only holding onto the grip and using momentum such that the handguard cocks itself. i mean he can do that or he could do it like a movie character. anyways sorry)

generally a hero. occasionally robs banks that belong to corrupt governments (as such the ones from PAYDAY 2, his so-called origin universe ig)

has a son and a pet, as well as his fellow netherbulians

extremely kind to as many people as he can be

and now, since you got a taste of what i can think of for our TYRANT, here's the most popular version of him in my mind (if i had to differentiate him and our TYRANT, i'd make his suit less tidy. that'll work):

menacing to everyone he encounters, demands respect

god DAMN he is terrifying

didn't bother getting a son or pet, wouldn't have the time or patience to ignore them for as long as he would

will not think twice about murdering those that get in his way

stares into your soul if the above bulletpoint doesn't apply

i mean he still respects people's identities, but only if they don't get in his way. also still an expert marksman

this wasn't made well and i'm sorry, wanted to pump something out as quick as possible. anyways yeah, lore/worldbuilding. fun! seeya next post (hopefully)

[clarz-cc-archive]

answered April 14, 2020

Q: long cc anon here! hello there <3 this is now my given name in your cc, hehe. ok so first of all i want to say 1. you don’t have anything to apologize for! it’s really difficult to understand someone’s tone on the internet and it’s totally understandable that mine could have seemed different that what i wanted to convey, but i explained in my asks after your twt thread and you understood so it’s all good 😊 2. i totally get the “it’s not my business” type of approach! i am, too, very into rpf and shipping, i write myself, so the comments i am about to make don’t come from a “RPF BAD! U WEIRDOS!” type of mindset, just putting it out there bc i know there is a certain crowd that is like that 😅 but yeah i wanted to say that i often think about the same things you wrote in your reply to me, and you’re absolutely right in saying that there’s not a certain answer for it and it’s a really nuanced conversation, but i think you do a very good job of differentiating between “these are humans i love but that i don’t know personally and i need to keep that in mind remembering they are in fact humans living a real life” and “these are humans i don’t know and because of that i can say or do whatever i want bc they’re just characters to me” if you know what i mean? which is something that i see happening a lot and personally makes me uncomfortable. (like people’s comments about the boys’ personal choices that are not hurting anyone. ex. jk’s tattoos, especially knowing the kind of vitriol he receives bc of them. just an example) i think just thinking about these boundaries, pt.2 (i'm so sorryyyy) / even without knowing the right answer, is as you said something everyone work through differently and we are totally on the same page about that 💖 i am not active on twitter for a different number of reasons so i just keep up with accounts i like and practice fandom similarly to me; you are one of them, and if i was active on twitter you would definitely be one of the people i would love to talk and interact with :) genuinely, really. 3. this is kind of a post scriptum but i agree about the legal action "not making much sense". i will not comment further with absolutes bc i have no real idea of how these kind of things operate so for all i know they could be doing more than what we know but yeah point is i don't really trust corporations no matter what the situation is, so what i am hoping for the most is that jk has a really good support system and that the love is a lot louder than what comes his way negatively, sometimes even by his own fans that he so clearly genuinely loves, and that hurts to think about. (even more so because he's been in the industry since he was so young, but idk if i want to go there as my answer will get even longer and omg i am so sorry this answer is so long isn't it) but hoping for the best is the only thing we do have. but yeah, thank you for entertaining these great conversations (even tho i am sure i probably forgot so much of what i wanted to say 😭). if you do receive ccs in the future with "long cc anon here" then that'll be me hehe :) 💕 (in response to)

A: i kind of assume anyone who talks to me is already down with rpf bc like! how else did you end up here!! i've vaguely seen the discourse around "rpf is damaging bc it treats bts as just characters" before, and i've never really understood it? if you have any insight i would really appreciate it! like i do understand what you mean, that sometimes we need to draw clear boundaries between what we think about bts as Characters and what we think about the real people, but every time i've seen ppl get upset about how "treating bts as characters is dehumanizing" (which obv YOU didn't say, but which i've seen other people say) it rly makes so little sense to me, just bc a) they have public personas that they show us, NONE of us know bts as Real People anyway, and b) bc in my experience rpf characterization comes from a place of deep respect for and concern with humanity? in my experience at least it's all about imagining an inner life and filling in the person and trying to make sense of and have empathy for all the pieces of themselves that they've shown us, like what are the many ways in which we could construct those bits into a real human being, and i've always felt that's the opposite of dehumanizing. that's just my 2 cents into something you barely brought up lol 😂😂

yeah as far as the legal action thing goes, that's my philosophy too! it doesn't make sense to me but i am also very much not a lawyer or in entertainment and they don't owe me an explanation! plus, since i'm american, i tend to view that kind of legal action differently since it's MUCH more difficult here to successfully sue someone over speech than it is in most other countries. i'm glad you have an official name now, very cute 😊 and if you ever do decide to be active on twitter, you are always welcome to dm me and let me know! i've enjoyed talking to you 💜