#;; the more I use Keith & Reanne to compare situations the more I realize they really are just two polar ends of coping with similar issues

[aeipathcy]

11. what’s something that you don’t get to express with your oc often? [ for reanne! ]

MEME┊accepting.

What’s something that you don’t get to express with your oc often?

OOC. tldr, ended up being an unorganized ramble that probably isn't very well organized or cohesive. I lost sight of some ideas as I was typing (big sad).

call out/acknowledge Reanne's bulimic eating habits if muses end up going out to eat somewhere

sibling dynamic conversations/conversations about siblings

idk how to express this but maybe someone noticing something behind the confidence she always has? I don't think muses really see her glaring issues despite how open she is with a lot of troubling things.

I believe I've mentioned this one in the past on random blog posts but I haven't gotten many opportunities for other muses to actually call out how abnormal Reanne's food-related (bulimic) tendencies are or even just acknowledge said abnormality (she still has them, and yes she is very stagnant with her therapy—honestly at this point I believe she stopped going since it wasn't helping, just haven't made it official until this post ig). Like, I can allude to them but they're never the focus of threads outside internal thoughts. I recall there was one muse I was able to kind of touch on that with but that mun decided to cut ties with me out of the blue. I was saddened by it since we had a good, but not so perfect/smooth dynamic building which is prime for exploring not so nice aspects of muses.

Lately, I haven't done anything related to it, but it is still a huge aspect of how Reanne copes with and processes her emotions (eating to chase away anxiety or sorrowful moods, depriving as form of punishment/dealing with guilt, purging out of guilt when she eats too much, freaking out when she weighs herself despite knowing she's supposed to weigh a little more to be healthy, constantly hating her body despite progress, etc.). Despite being better about anger, lashing out, and trauma dumping, Reanne cannot seem to cut the unhealthy eating patterns out of her life. She still carries trauma related to her body and appearance no matter how confident she acts—her outward confidence and almost ideal skinny body shape make it hard to actually see this, especially since Reanne would never step out of her house if she felt less than presentable. And considering she still obsesses over making sure her freckles are never visible, there's obviously still an issue that's unresolved there. I mean, Reanne is a walking contradiction that's hard to explain.

Even though Keith outwardly shows his issues more, Reanne is probably in a much deeper trench than he ever would be as the difference in their support systems is massive—she doesn't have anyone to help her through any of her impulsive binges or get through emotional spikes, and she is much more likely to relapse because of how quickly she turns to binge-purging as a coping mechanism. She cannot forgive her family for everything they've done to her, and she cannot confide in them, making it more than difficult to combat a habit that's been ingrained into her since well before her teenage years. Fashion industry, going out to eat, and clothes shopping are all very large potential triggers depending on her mood. Kinda forgot about this modern verse addition (alcohol cw, binge drinking cw, alcohol poisoning cw) but she also has an alcohol issue (underage drinking + binge drinker). Thankfully, she doesn't drink, and the most she does is threaten people with the cost of a hospital bill if they try to entice her that way.

This also brings me to a second point I don't get to explore. Sibling dynamics. I don't know what it is, but I want more of these conversations. Reanne's story is definitely triggering for people so I understand if others don't want to write anything that steps on the field of landmines that will come up, but this helps explore underlying drives behind how she acts (as all her responses and beliefs all lead back to her sister and upbringing). I've mentioned it before but Reanne does everything in her power to be someone different from her younger sister, Elanor. She is the older one, but at the same time, she feels completely inferior to Elanor. I have a number of posts talking about the contradiction surrounding this entire sibling relationship so I won't go into it here. Err, maybe I don't but I'm not making a new one or anything anytime soon.

Now that I think about it, nobody has seen behind her outward confidence and demeanor or thought to look beyond it (because of how straightforward she is) except for Keith (mainly because of the lore behind modern verse and he's technically known her for two lifetimes already). I find it funny how Keith is the person who tries to pass lies to hide problems and issues but everyone can see through him and acknowledges his issues, but Reanne is the person who openly shares almost everything so clearly yet nobody really bothers to acknowledge the issues and problems she's been blurting out to the world.