#;; i'll probably be more active on these blogs by the end of this week

[poohsources]

hello everyone !

hope you're all doing well. not gonna lie, i missed y'all and this little blog of mine. it's been a while since i've really been here because i haven't spent a whole lot of time on tumblr in general ( primarily because i don't have any active rp blogs in general at the moment after the last fandom i've been in died again, so i just haven't been active here ).

i've also realized it will be my third anniversary here on thursday which is kinda crazy. i probably won't be able to do anything for that on time but i am hoping to get some anniversary thing done a little later - because i actually only have until friday before i have 2 weeks off. i'm also hoping to be around and do more things here again soon-ish; just finished my first batch of exams for this semester so the next ones will be at the end of january, which means i do have a little bit of free time now. no promise how much i'll actually get done those because ( and i hate how weird this is gonna sound ) i finally found some friends again and we've been hanging out a lot after class so i just have other things on my mind than tumblr.

anyway, just wanted to make a quick post because i've really neglected this blog and still you have all been so supportive of me and my silly little creations here ( which i can never thank you enough, it really means so so much to me ).

hope you all have a great rest of the day and i'll talk to you again soon 🧡

[bubblegumgothglados]

OK let's get something straight. Yes I want to kidnap you, beat you, rape you, and keep you locked in my basement until you're no fun to play with any more and I finally snuff you and bury you somewhere special with an apple tree planted on top of you.

But

Much much more than that I want to go back in time and kidnap you as an infant

You've only been alive for a week when I take you, it's the first chance I get, I snatch you as you sleep, your parents don't notice for hours. I pick a new name for you, something nicely gender neutral. You're still only drinking milk but that's no biggie, I've been pumping for months in preparation and I now have a steady supply. I make sure to take plenty of pictures with you in all styles of clothing, so no matter what gender you end up you'll have baby pictures to match.

You're not just allowed but actively encouraged to explore your identity from an early age, you're given any clothes you like in any style. Even if you go through a million different names and a pronoun sets.

Your curiosity will always be encouraged, anything you want to learn about we can learn about together. No topic is off limits or taboo, you're taught that the best food for you is the food you'll eat, and that people come in all shapes and sizes, and that you don't need to understand other peoples identities you just have to accept them.

And when you're in your mid teens and you start experimenting with sex, drugs, and alcohol you'll know your home is a safe place to be, a safe place to bring friends in need, a safe place.

If you're neurodivergent you'll be given whatever care you need, whatever will help or whatever accommodations can be made. You'll have access to puberty blockers if you'd like, or the hormones of your choice. On your 18th or any time after, if you want it, I'll pay for you to get bottom surgery.

Given how this post started and the blog it's on you're probably expecting a deeply perverted twist ending, and yeah who knows how our relationship will progress into your adulthood. But really I just want to give you the happy healthy childhood that you deserve, that was stolen from you.

I love you. I'm proud of you. Whoever you are.

[nintendonut1]

I absolutely despise making posts like these, I just turned 35 years old and have little room in my life for online drama, but this has gotten to the point where folks' actual safety has become a legit concern of mine, so I don't think I can let this go without saying something.

At this point, for everyone in the SMRPG sub-fandom, or any other fandoms, honestly, it's probably a safe bet to block Yoylecake420 wherever you see them.

I don't have time for details or screenshots, I'll just summarize my personal experience with them.

At first, I got plenty of asks from them about their hyperfixations here on tumblr. I'm busy as hell, so most of them got lost in my inbox, and the ones I saw I had little time to entertain with an answer.

Then, they joined my Discord about a month ago, where they were active in sharing their art and stuff. Then me and the mods caught wind of them sending unsolicited DMs and friend requests to various members of the server, often with uncomfortable topics. We gave them a fair warning to stop. They did not.

This repeated behavior ended in a ban from the server. During this, they were also repeatedly making a mockery of my webcomic's OCs by making uncomfortable art/captions and submitting the characters to Kiss-Marry-Kill-style blogs despite me asking them not to, so I blocked them on Discord, Tumblr, deviantArt, and Art Fight. I know this is small potatoes compared to harassing people, but it's important context for the following.

A day after the ban from my server, they joined up the Spiderforest server, knowing I'm a part of that webcomic community. I was even warned by the mods, who were aware of Yoyle's behavior as they had already been messaging the SF tumblr about my comic.

A week later, they joined ComicFury, and replied to me on the forum, complimenting my work. Like nothing had ever happened. Like I didn't have them blocked everywhere else. Like they hadn't fully disrespected me, my work, and my community.

I directly messaged them telling them to leave me alone. Their response was a slight apology, but also admitting to being obsessed with my work, having a hard time moving on, and, ultimately, wanting the attention.

So. There it is. It pains me, knowing this is giving them the attention they want, but I'm too fucking old for games like that and the need for me to look out for everyone's safety is more important.

Yoyle is a person who does not care about others' personal boundaries. If you ignore them, they persist. If you tell them to stop, they do for a day or two, and then persist again. And if you block them, they'll evade it and stalk you to somewhere else on the internet.

Of course, it's not my place to tell anyone how to interact with others, but I am suggesting a pre-emptive block if you make, at the very least, Geno fanart, and aren't interested in being harassed across multiple platforms and having your boundaries stomped on. I do not suggest interacting with them, as they are the embodiment of "give them an inch and they'll take a mile."

I've got one screenshot here from a friend of all their alt accounts (this is publicly available on their main tumblr) for any pre-emptive blocking on those sites:

[wellmetmat]

There's a post from a couple of years ago which I was reminded of and wanted to add to today, about nobody wanting to take the supplicant role in courtship, but it's unrebloggable due to some constraint the OP put on it, so I'll just quote my bit:

Being attracted to someone is distressing. I think the largest part of it is hunger to know someone (?); but when you can’t get to know them well, it ends up a stunted obsession: all that drive-to-know - enough to build a deep, detailed model of another personality - chewing over scraps of phrases and trivial actions, until you’re snappishly bored with your own mind. Your skin feels hungry and there’s nothing you can do about it: “touch starvation” is a phrase that comes to mind. The person’s absence and their presence both hurt: absence obviously, presence because once you’re there you find that there’s still distance, you still miss them. It’s rather like homesickness. Courting someone is wretched. It’s frightening and humiliating and full of agonising waiting periods and jarring mood switchbacks. It feels something like being dragged along on a fishhook, with the line attached to another person’s little finger. Liking someone more than they like you is a position of low power. The incentives are to be servile. You have nothing to bargain with: whatever they decide, you agree to with a smile. You always try to sound happy, because that’s what’s most appealing. You give up on areas of confusion instead of trying to understand, because asking questions annoys people and any annoying act pushes you closer to the cliff-edge of losing them. Any small disagreement feels like a large risk, so you distort your own opinions a bit. You can’t be spontaneous; your inner voice is always tallying accounts: how many days since the last message, too few, you mustn’t bother them yet / how many days since you came up with something interesting, too many, they may forget; don’t intrude so much, but simultaneously what have you done for them lately, how can you provide value to justify remaining in their life. It seems bad that we’re like this. I don’t imagine humans are especially badly formed or anything, it’s probably just as subjectively rotten for every animal that does courtship displays. But if anyone eventually makes robots with emotion-like motivational systems, they shouldn’t include anything like attraction. It’s so silly.

I feel like resurrecting this today to celebrate being out of it. In the last two weeks, somebody has given me the double gifts of liking me and of having the generosity to say so, and show so. All I want to do is be glad and be grateful, and try never to cause this person to experience anything described above.

But I stand by the description, it is a correct description, and we are so badly made it is infuriating. @nohoperadio's good post on the tragic stupidity of pain incidentally also works as a discourse on eros: if there'd been any intelligence involved in the design process, distress signals would come with an off-switch! (Hence my blog tagline.) But instead, evolution is a pitiless idiot, love is humiliation, nonviable attachments take years to starve to death, and there is no moral of the story. Absurd. A baboon could design a better emotional constitution.

Delightfully, this week ACX introduced David Pearce ("For centuries, philosophers have praised suffering as a necessary part of the human condition. For decades, David Pearce has told those other philosophers that they are bad and wrong"), who is doing his best to make a better emotional constitution available, and I approve of such a project so highly that it's been necessary to stack new levels of approval above my previous maximum to encompass how right he is. It's really exciting that any intelligent and active person considers progress of this sort possible and is working on it.

[telugu-girl-13]

♡ Hasini's 150 Follower Event ♡

THIS EVENT HAS ENDED! THIS WILL PROBABLY BE THE LAST EVENT OF THIS THEME!

Hey, guys! I've been so excited to hold another event, and you helped me get there! I'm officially somewhat famous! And I'm super thankful to every single one of you who has acknowledged my presence in some way. Not just following, but also liking, commenting, reblogging, booping, anything and everything. Every single one of you have a special place in my heart, and I hope you know it! <33

﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖

Back with the theme! If you're new here, I'm crossing my fingers that you love it. And if you're one of the OGs, hope you enjoy the experience of this event once again! I'm obsessed with this, so it's making another appearance! Maybe for my next event, I'll have a few new tricks up my sleeve...

This event will be in the standard ask in my inbox format, with only one request per mutual! All of these requests must be sent between 7:30 AM and 9:00 PM Eastern Standard time, so you're not sneaking out during curfew! (You'll understand in a moment, and if you can't coordinate the timings from another part of the world, it's fine!) This post will be pinned on my blog from November 3 to November 10 and no requests will be accepted after that. Here is the link to my introduction post! Most of these are art-related! Hope you enjoy!

*This request might take a day or two during the school week! Hope you have extra drachmas! (I'm just kidding, the only thing you have to pay is your patience and time!)

﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖

Hello, new camper! You have followed me and passed Thalia's Pine Tree 🌲. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood! Where would you like to go first?

🏐♡ - The volleyball court! To play here, send a prompt for a tag game in my inbox! Let's try to keep the volleyball up by keeping the tag game going!

🏠♡ - The cabins! To stay here, submit your godly parent and I'll provide some aesthetics that I think would fit your cabin (blog)!

🎨♡ - The arts and crafts building! To hang out here, submit your favorite color(s), hobbies, animals, symbols, and more, and I'll create a collage for you!*

🔥♡ - The amphitheater bonfire! To hang out here, sing a lyric of a song (in text, not actually) and I'll incorporate it in a moodboard!*

⚔️♡ - The arena! To hang out here, send a controversial or unpopular opinion about an appropriate topic! Make sure it isn't triggering or harmful, and is something like a ship or a favorite character! Let's battle it out! Anyone who wants can join the debate!

📚♡ - The library! To hang out here, send a headcannon for a book I've read and I'll comment on it and maybe even draw it!*

🏖️♡ - The fireworks beach! To hang out here, I'll compliment you and tell you why you I think you're amazing! Request this if you feel depressed or just need a friend to comfort you <3

﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖

While many of these may sound similar, trust me, each is different. I included some of the most popular options from last time and put a twist on some of them, hopefully I get a variety of responses! Thank you for participating, and even if you don't, thank you for supporting my blog through its journey! Love you xx!

See tags 50 follower event and hasini's 100 follower event for past activities!

[emersonfreepress]

hi! information!!

- I feel a lot lot LOT better. Finally not anemic, officially recovered from a hysterectomy, and slowly making progress towards ending a major environmental stressor (🤞🏾)

- I'll be recording that update video early next week! I'll make sure to add a transcript when I publish the post here.

- Uh, I'm starting a YouTube channel. No super clear direction yet, but the first video is my personal analysis of JD Vance as a Republican vice presidential candidate. And I will be reviewing his trash book Hillbilly Elegy before the end of the year. Sooo... political comedy! sorry lol First script has been in the works for a little while and I hope to have my first video out either before or right on Election Day but we'll see, life has been non-stop developments and events lately

- I got a job! Finally! At a public hospital, very exciting :)

- I'm entertaining the idea of doing a late night live stream next Tuesday for the election. I am one of Those who feels the need to keep tabs all night, but I don't wanna do it pacing alone in my apartment. I'd probably just be chatting, checking news outlets, and maybe playing some games. I'll let y'all know if that's happening!

K that's it. And thank you for the kind messages and continued interest; I am finally on the cusp of greatness and I have tinglies about my creative output over the next few months. Look forward to it! I'm not the same person I was when I started this game and that's only for the better :)

Talk soon!

oh and if you ever wanna shoot me a message that's not about cie or about something more general, my personal blog is @hotmess-exe. I'm trying to embrace my inclinations to be extroverted because I've been actively repressing them for so long 😅 I miss being myself on the Internet!

[ishimondoevents]

helloooooo ishimondo fandom!

as the blog url indicates, i would like to gauge an interest in holding an ishimondo week at some point this year. i know perfect-ishimondo-boys has hosted them in prior years, but it doesn't seem like they have been active for a while.

so!! if you would be interested in having one this year, please fill out this interest check, and reblog to spread the word! atm, i don't have an instagram or twitter/x account, so if you would like to crosspost there to have more reach, that would also be appreciated.

it would be of great help to figure out when people feel like they would like to have one as well as if there is a general consensus of any boundaries participants would want to have, themes, etc. thank you very much for your time!!

update edit: thanks to everyone for the support and feedback so far! just want to announce that i have set up a twitter and an instagram for those who would like to follow/share on those platforms. will likely eventually change the url here to match, but not atm.

additionally, i'll probably close responses on this around the end of the month. that way there'll be time to be able to share results and get things together early enough in the event that we end up doing something early june, people will have enough time to brainstorm on prompts. i will give a heads up before i close responses by putting one more post into the tags!

[dirtybg3confessions]

UPDATE/INFO POST!

Hello my lovely sinners - it's hot on this blog but not as hot as my top floor apartment, I hope you're all staying cool and hydrated!

Here's what's up: Anon Rule, Double submitting, Mod status, Old post style and Alternative Confession blog!

Please send in asks anonymously!

I know sometimes you can forget, it's fine. But sometimes we get rows of asks off anon send to the inbox all by the same person, so i just want to make sure that old and new people keep that rule in mind. Asks will only be posted anonymously. If they are off anon, we will have to delete and re-submit the asks on anon with the current posting system. It doesn't matter if you are okay with being off anon, we will always ONLY feature anonymous confessions! (any off anons posted are slip ups on our end)

No doubles!

If you're confession hasn't been posted yet, please don't re-submit. Your new confession won't make the process faster, it will just take up a slot for another person and slow down the process.

Also, despite having around 2000 asks in the inbox, i recognize doubles (for some ungodly reason) and if i catch one, i'll just delete the double, so save all of our time.

No shaming/harassment/being pushy in regards to mod activity!

I, Bug, am not the owner of the blog. I carefully added another person to the blog recently who has been a big help in keeping the blog active these past weeks (?) while i'm currently juggling multiple irl events.

I don't know how much freedom I have and I personally do not want to be in charge of adding Mods and keeping everyone in check.

This blog has rules regarding tagging and posting and if I were to add more people, I would have to oversee everyone's activity for a while to make sure no bad actor has been added. I know first hand how easy it is to accidentally start a riot on here and nobody wants that.

So yes, things are slow. But the two people active right now simply do not have a say in who can be added and any of that so PLEASE stop asking. We are not oblivious to the waiting times and all that stuff. We are doing what we can.

About the fancy screenshot posts

As some of you know, I love making ungodly edits with beautiful screenshots. I want to make these posts again, but as you know, it will take time. It takes a surprisingly long time to make one of those posts, and I recently had an unfortunate thing happen, which resulted in all my save files braking - meaning I have NEVER finished the game and now have no save files to go back to for taking screenshots. I will have to replay the entire game.

I probably will make some fancy posts soon-ish, but i will most likely be forced to re-use old shots. I could offer for those interested to submit their own screenshots to @bugbreach (NOT TO THIS HERE BLOG!!!) if you are okay with me using them for this blog. I could try to sneak in a credit to the people who send them, but i cannot promise that yet (i guess you can just let me know if you want credit or not) also highly recommend Otis_Inf's photo mod on patreon, it's what i'm using)

But again. Just to be absolutely clear

CHECK OUT OTHER BLOGS!

I am gonna declare this one an exception, so don't go and start flooding the inbox with self promos pls.

I never checked myself, but I am fairly certain that there are other BG3 confession blogs out there - one of those is sharess-festhall, so if you like, do check them out as well!

[kpopsexstories]

FINALLY! I'm announcing the next "Most Memorable Sexual Experiences of..." k-pop group next week!

Yes! It's finally time! 😁 I've spent the last six+ months writing a new "Most Memorable Sexual Experiences of..." series.

Most Memorable Sexual Experiences of NCT is what kicked this blog off. I published 21 stories, one per member of NCT and WayV, telling of their most memorable sexual experiences. The goal of the series was to write realistic sex stories/smut that is fiction but reads as though they could actually have happened to our favorite (obviously sexually active) idols.

If you're here and following this blog, it's probably because you're an NCT and/or WayV fan interested in sex stories about your favorite k-pop idols.

For months now, I've teased the fact that there will be a new series in the same gist as the original. It will be about a completely different group, maybe a little more out there for some stories, telling of the most memorable sexual experiences each member in that group has had.

Now, the question is: which group will the new series be about?

This week I'll be dropping hints! The first hint comes tomorrow at 16:00 (Central European Time). Until then, which group do you HOPE it will be?

Tomorrow, Tuesday at 16:00 Central European Time, you'll get the first hint.

WAIT, WHAT ABOUT YOUR OTHER STORIES & SERIES?

Don't worry! The (gay) NCT Dream Dating Ban series will continue until I've covered all 7 members, but there's no fixed schedule for this. The previous/already published stories are:

#4: Mark

#3: Haechan

#2: Jisung Pt. 2

#1: Jisung Pt. 1

The current Quick Fix season will continue every Wednesday and ends on September 18:

Jul 31, 2024 – #17 NCT Mark asks if Jisung can touch your boob.

Aug 07, 2024 – #18 BTS Jin gets you pregnant.

Aug 14, 2024 – #19 NCT Haechan does push-ups over you.

Aug 21, 2024 – #20 TXT Taehyun plays with your nipples.

Aug 28, 2024 – #21 NCT Taeyong fucks you while Yuta jerks off.

Sep 04, 2024 – #22 NCT Jeno fucks you missionary style.

Sep 11, 2024 – #23 NCT Chenle doing the seashell.

Sep 18, 2024 – #24 NCT Johnny is pinned against the wall.

And finally, I've been posting more Mixed One-shots than usual in July-August. There won't be as many going forward, with the other series' and all, but I do have several requests lined up that I'm working on. In case you've missed anything, here are the recent one-off stories from the Mixed One-shots series:

Backstage sex with Leondre Devries (Bars & Melody)

Vanilla sex with Xiaojun (WayV, requested)

Jealous girlfriend with Ten (WayV, requested)

Jisung with an older woman (NCT Dream, requested)

Jeno with an older woman (NCT Dream, requested)

Camping with Romeo Beckham (son of David Beckham)

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 29/03/2024

Luna, mi Amor

Season 8 No Album Release (Read More) K.K. Moody (Cherry Mix) - Animal Crossing: New Horizons

Ripped by Astor, BrahaMan Visuals by Café con leche, Elsix64

You've probably noticed if you've been reading day-by-day just how comparatively high the frequency of Season 8 rips has been already, at slightly more than one covered per week on average. That's of course because Season 8 has far more catching up to do in terms of coverage here on the blog - perhaps to be expected, given that it has only been running for about a month wheras the blog itself is now pushing past 10 months of activity. But to be clear - I'm not going to have my intentions of covering Season 8 rips at a higher rate cloud my judgement on what rips end up on here. I'll write when there's something to write about, as there was with Euler's Panties, Willievan Afton Polkka, and indeed today's rip - Luna, mi Amor.

Readers who keep up what I do on this blog besides these posts may have already been made aware of this rip's existence by this reblog of its key artwork, with Animal Crossing villager Cherry holding a bouquet of maroon pansies. It's entirely reasonable that the reference is lost on you, as it was for me - yet the presence of such visuals in the rip, paired with the beauty of the rip's audio, invigorated me to dig deeper. What I found was yet one more reminder of one of the things I've hammered home on this blog as one of SiIvaGunner's most defining aspects, not only recently with Poké Village but at pretty regular intervals in posts like As Miku Collides. What I found was one of the most beautiful displays of the SiIvaGunner channel's ability to be a melting pot of all different walks of life, and in this case, even extending to different parts of the world.

Much like the joke of the rip itself, initially the people who created it stood as a big question-mark for me. Its not that any of them are inexperienced rippers and/or artists - far from it - but their activity has largely been on SiIvaGunner fan channels as covered in V​-​v​-​v​-​v​-​v​-​a​-​V​-​v​-​v​-​v​-​v​-​v​-​r. This includes Vvvvvavvvvvvr itself and TimmyTurnersGrandDad, but more notably - channels you may not have heard of, like SiIvaLatin and GiIvaLatinSunner. As you can perhaps tell by their names, these are channels defined not solely by their independent nature, but specifically by the culture and memes prevalent in Latin America. And sure, we've had some funny Brazil-related postings on SiIva, but its predominantly stuff like Os Barões da Pisadinha - a meme that despite its origins has received somewhat mainstream attention outside of the Latin American regions, making rips like Rainbow Baroad understandable and funny even to outsiders like myself. Barões are great, don't get me wrong, but Luna, mi Amor feels like a far more personal, genuine, and heartfelt act of culture exchange. A way to give us SiIvaGunner viewers, who are out of the loop with the beauty of regions like South America, a peek into just what we're missing.

The joke of the rip, and by proxy the reference the artwork is hinting at, is to Mexico/Chilean musician and overall acclaimed artist Mon Laferte, and the single Amor Completo from her 2015 album Mon Laferte, Vol. 1. Luna, mi Amor is a melodyswap to this song - specifically having it be sung with the in-game vocalizations of the character featured in the artwork herself, Cherry - and the rip was so well done, that I felt a need to go listen to the original song. It's enchantingly beautiful and uplifting, yet at once a little bittersweet - the feelings of love, passion and true romance are completely understandable even past the language barrier. In that sense, I suppose Luna, mi Amor takes things yet one step further, beyond even what a rip like Moves Like K.K. did with Animal Crossing music as a source, in replacing those vocals to the explicitly unintelligible vocalizations of the Animal Crossing cast. The emotions in the rip can no longer be conveyed through vocalized words with meaning - no matter where in the world you live, Luna, mi Amor's beauty has to shine through in its music alone.

And, if it wasn't immensely evident by this point, I do believe it succeeds at that effort in spades. The gentle, nostalgic strumming of K.K. Slider's guitar works to excellent effect, but there's something just so endearing about hearing the sounds Animal Crossing vocals - which many of us likely associate with peppier songs like Bubblegum K.K. - attached to a piece with such passionate meaning ascribed to it. It's a fantastic rip on every front, but most importantly, it stands out in such a meaningful way. Amidst all the great stuff we've gotten in Season 8 thus far, be it bangers, reoccurring jokes, fun events or nostalgic reminiscing, I wouldn't necessarily say that Luna, mi Amor is my favorite - but it is perhaps the rip I've spent the longest thinking about, and by proxy the one that'll likely stay with me until the end of the year and beyond. The invitation to listen in to this small little nugget of culture from the other side of the world was one I was not expecting, but one I'm now very grateful to have received.

[jeonqkooks]

goodbye :)

not really lol this was clickbait 🤠

BUT now that i have your attention, i am going on a semi writing hiatus tho. i feel like this is long overdue. i'd like to start off with a couple weeks, maybe a month, maybe longer, idk? we'll see how it goes.

i'll still be relatively active on tumblr - answering asks and whatever bullshit i usually do - and discord (bc let's face it, i have nowhere else to be lmao) so i guess this is mostly a formal announcement for myself so that my brain can process the fact that this! bitch! needs! a! f*cking! break! 👏 it's not like i even have a regular update schedule to begin with, so for most of you things will probably feel the same. but tbh for me, writing doesn't feel as fun as it used to. it hasn't for a while, and neither has being on tumblr in general (some days it fully feels bad being on tumblr but i'm still Here bc i do not know what to do with myself lol).

don't get me wrong, i still love writing and i still want to write. but i just want to be able to actually enjoy it instead of feeling pressured to do it, yk? so i just need to find the spark again bc right now it feels like a chore and we definitely don't want that 😕

also - i feel like most writers go through this at some point - i keep (unintentionally) comparing myself to other writers and a bitch just cannot stop lmao. i've noticed that whenever i feel stuck while writing, i'd look to others and i'd think "damn, why can't i do this or that?" and that'd just make me feel worse lol miss girl gotta work on that. i mostly keep stuff to myself and lately it's been a little More than usual and i don't want to keep going when i obviously need a break only to end up overflowing one day and impulsively deleting my account (i probably won't lol this is my permanent address)

i'll use the time off to get back into reading too - god knows i haven't been reading fics as much as i used to. apologies to all the writers whose works i've been dying to read for so long but just haven't had the energy to sit down and dig in. reading is one of my main sources of inspiration (i made this blog bc i loved reading so much that it inspired me to write my own shit!) so hopefully that'll help the process too ✌️

unrelated to the writing bit but i also kinda want to use the extra time to start working on a professional portfolio and maybe jump back into my wack ass redbubble shop lmao

sooo yeah. i'm not gonna pull a one direction and just ride off into the sunset for good lmao. if anything, i hope i'll pull a bangtan and bounce back with even more content and vigor than before. maybe this is jeonqkooks chapter two 😎

maybe this was a bit dramatic lmao but anyways, sorry to anybody who thought i'd be leaving. unfortunately, you're stuck with me until tumblr gets swallowed up by the sun <3

[dp-clarkjkent]

((ooc: thanks for the patience, i was on an exam week and then had some activity in other fandoms so i ended up not having that much free time to check this blog and my other two

however i am now on winter break so I'll probably be more active now yay))

[beatingdrumspouringwine]

Lenaia Stuff(?)

Reposting this because I A. realized that the calendar I was using was one that started on a Monday instead of a Sunday, and thus my days were all messed up, and B. removed a link by an individual who is in the circle of sannion.

Hello all! So, Lenaia starts in 4 days (22nd-29th), and I have a few different plans for both myself personally, and for this blog in general!

Starting with the blog:

I'll be offering (free) prayer commissions for the duration of Lenaia! Essentially, if you've found yourself wishing I would write a prayer about your deity, or if you have a specific intention you want a prayer for, or if there's an epithet or a take on an epithet that you wish I would cover, please pop in my asks and give me a request! I'll be covering them for all of Lenaia, with the sole exception of Monday, as I have a major test on that day. TL;DR: if you want me to write prayers, this is the time to ask!

My personal plans are below (they're long and detailed, fair warning):

Another warning, if you're sober or not of legal drinking age, then some of my plans will be inaccessible, and I would recommend using grape juice or clean water (or nonalcoholic wine, if you want) as a replacement. Also, throughout the festival, I'll be doing this challenge put out by @thegodwhocums about a month(?) ago or so? My mental health wasn't up for it when I first saw it, but with an already-planned week of special activities to Dionysos ahead of me, I figure there's no better time to do it!

And if you have any questions, please don't be afraid to ask me - I love sharing information and talking with others like nothing else :)

Pre-Lenaia (21st): Sundays are usually my night for performing my "big religious duties", as in making khernips and consecrating wine. I'll still stick to that, but hold off some things for the rest of the week.

January 22nd: Will have my big test today, so it'll likely be simple, with the Orphic Hymn to Dionysos in the morning (shortened after as the OHD), followed by a frantic plea to Athena for wisdom. After the test, I will go out to eat with friends, and will dedicate my drink to Dionysos by praying and waiting for a period of time before drinking it. In the evening, libation of wine to Athena for gratitude, and simple evening prayers (my brain will be soup by then lol).

January 23rd: OHD for the morning, with a libation of water. In the afternoon, I'll go out with another friend, and do some shopping at a local metaphysical store for certain offerings for Dionysos, specifically raw incense (like frankincense), dried lavender, and barley (historically accurate offering). Will end the night with simple prayers and libations of water, since Wednesdays are busy and early days for me, so I don't have a lot of time to spend in ritual at night.

January 24th: OHD and water in the morning. Since it's the midpoint through the festival, I'll likely have today be my "big feast day". At night, I'll do a full ceremony to Dionysos, giving Him the offerings bought the day before. I'll also take my first drink from the wine I dedicated at the start of the festival. After the ceremony, I'll take a good long bath, accompanied by the wine and a recording of the Bacchae.

January 25th: OHD and water in morning. In the afternoon, I'll take a walk to a local graveyard, less for the "graveyard" aspect and more because it's a beautiful walk, and a beautiful graveyard. I may also go on a small hike. Evening is pouring some more of the wine, and prayers for specific intentions, as up until then, most of my prayers will likely be traditional or general praise.

January 26th: OHD and water in the morning. In the evening, I'll probably have a bit of a more relaxed vibe. Maybe watch a showing of Frogs (Aristophanes coming in clutch with the comedy), will probably do a libation of water with the evening prayers.

January 27th: OHD and water in the morning. In the evening, I'll probably do another round of wine, and do some songs and chanting. I have a few hymns I've written dedicated to singing, I may add in a bold attempt at chanting the OHD in the original ancient Greek.

January 28th: OHD and water in the morning. Since it's Sunday, I'll do my typical consecrations of wine and khernips-making, and will possibly recite the Homeric Hymn to Dionysos.

January 29th: Since it's the final night, this one will likely be a bit special. I'll libate tea or juice in the morning, and say the OHD as well as a few other hymns. In the evening, more singing and chanting, as well as a bit of divination for the coming month.

And with all of that, the 2024 Lenaia will end. Of course, I have a funky schedule with being in college (being drunk in the middle of the week probably doesn't work for most folks, but I have no classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so those are my "weekend days"), so please see this as more of an outline than a mandatory guide :) Happy (early) Lenaia everyone!

[wespirallin]

feather in your cap (a sweet tooth fanfic)

Okay so some of you've probably seen the first chapter/prologue I've posted in the st community and I want to continue posting the new chapters in both ao2 and wattpad, and also here, in my blog. (there's a slight problem with ao3 for now but I'll update you when I have access to my account lol).

here you go people, the second chapter.

Chapter 2 // conform

Before Benji even unlocked the front door, he could hear the dampened voice of Adele filling up their house. A rare smile graced his lips as he hummed along to "Rolling in the Deep". 

Conversations of Adele had made up the first date between the two very drunk young adults. Benji could still remember it like yesterday, how a 20-year-old Pemma had forced him to dance rock-and-roll (they were very drunk okay??) to the very same song in a crowded bar. From that moment on, he knew he wanted a future with that woman. She had made Benji feel free, for what might’ve been the first time ever. Of course, drunk thoughts and decisions never ended well, but this one seemed to be an exception for Benjamin Crane. 

Benji found his wife seated where she spent most of her time nowadays. The wooden table they had built together, whose sole purpose was to serve as a puzzle table. She stuck her tongue out in concentration as she frantically checked almost every remaining piece.

Putting jigsaw puzzles together had always been a stable and favored pastime activity for the pair. They spent most of their free time seated in front of a thousand-piece puzzle for days in comfortable silence, accompanied by a cup of tea. Sometimes they even each got a puzzle with fewer pieces just to race each other. Pemma almost always won. 

This puzzle was an artistically drawn piece of the "Gaang" as Pemma liked to call the team of four teenagers from their comfort TV show. It was a fan-made piece from Emma (Sam's wife) that she'd made for them before she passed away. Benji already knew that his kids would grow up watching the records of the show.

The piece had survived most of Pemma's mood swings (Benji had stayed up all night once to renew the two weeks of progress after a particularly bad one), and it was more than halfway done. They really wanted to be over with it and hang it up on the wall before the twins arrived. Benji was sure that the piece could not handle  a pregnant lady and two newborns.

“Hey love”, greeted Benji, walking over and pressing a kiss on Pemma’s forehead. “How have you been? Any pain or discomfort?”

Pemma smiled up at him with those bright blue eyes he had fallen for over a decade ago.

“You know how it goes by now. Mood swings and some nausea. Went for a walk in the park at one point. It was a calmer day than usual. One of the little rascals did keep kicking me all day though, and it tickled for some reason this time. I’m telling you, Benji, we’re going to have twins with two very different personalities.”

Benji beamed at her. 

“Looks like one of them shares their mom’s hyperactivity”, he joked.

Pemma swatted at his arm. “You’ll realize it’s more of a curse than a gift if it turns out you’re right.”

“That’s okay, we’ll love them either way”, Benji said warmly.

Pemma’s smile fell ever so slightly and she faced her husband with a hesitant look.

“But what if…what if they turn out to be hybrids Ben?”, her voice getting weaker towards the end. “I wouldn’t know what to do.”

Benji's expression hardened. He couldn’t stand how scared his wife looked. He wanted to promise her that everything would be fine, but how could he when even he didn’t believe that? 

Yeah, what if the kids turned out to be hybrids? Benji didn’t know how he could love and raise something so…non-human and unnatural as his own. He just couldn’t imagine himself holding something half-animal, half-human, and thinking, “Yes, this is my kid. Mine to protect, to parent, and to love forever.”

Plus, he was well aware of the new organization that called themselves ‘The Last Men’ (what a stupid ass name that was). He knew how they snatched up the hybrid kids to do god knows what to them. He also knew what happened to the parents who tried to resist. He couldn’t have Pemma going through that. He wouldn't risk losing what he had because of a freaky hybrid kid.

Pemma looked her husband up and down as she tried to gauge his thought proccest. She knew he never looked warmly to hybrids, let alone them having to parent one. Shamefully, she couldn’t say that she disagreed with him. The idea itself scared her so much sometimes that she forgot how to breathe. At the same time, she couldn’t imagine herself not loving any of her babies. How could she look at any of their faces and deny them of the motherly love she was so ready to share?

When Benji finally pulled a chair and sat down across her, she saw the telltale sign of him coming to a decision. One he knew she wouldn't like. 

She took his clammy hands in hers and tried to catch his warm brown eyes.

When he finally did look up, Pemma saw a slightly unnerving shine in his eyes. A shine that make her gut churn uncomfortably.

“Penny for your thoughts, Ben?”

Ben caught the scared edge on Pemma’s voice and it made him want to rip his hair out in frustration. He ignored it for both of their sakes.

“I won’t let anyone, anything destroy what we have…what we’ve built for us okay? If…” he took a deep breath, “If it comes to that, then I’ll do anything in my power to make them normal, what they’re meant to be”, he promised with a set jaw. It was more of a promise to himself than to his wife.

Pemma’s worry lines deepened as her face scrunched up in disbelief. Before she could say anything though, a wave of excruciating pain ripped through her and she couldn’t help the scream she let out. All the previous tension was forgotten as Benji shot up from his chair, steadying Pemma as she doubled over in pain.

“Pems!? What- what is it? Is it the kids? Contractions? Are they-”

“No, I’m just constipated- YES Benji it’s the kids. Now get me to the kiddie pool before I pass out.”

“B-But what? They’re early -you -we, I-I thought we had at least-”

Pemma shot him a murderous look.

“Benji I swear to god-”

“Okay okay, sorry! I got this! I got this.”

Benji took a few deep breaths to steady himself as he hauled Pemma to her feet and gently dragged her to the kiddie pool. He thanked his past self a hundred times for already setting the pool up -just in case. 

. . . 

It’s crazy how quickly life can change up on you sometimes. 

One moment you’re stacking puzzle pieces next to each other, the next you’ve given birth to two beautiful newborns.

One moment you’re shedding tears of joy, the next you realize the baby in your arms has feathers. Brown and white feathers that make up two very mesmerizing wings. Two beautiful wings that are bunched up behind a small body that’s wriggling and crying obnoxiously. He’s beautiful, you think. You have to tear your eyes away from the unique pattern of discoloration on his face as you realize his father falling apart next to you, holding your other baby in his arms. In contrast to his sibling, this one isn’t crying.

One moment you’re ready to celebrate the birth of your two baby boys, the next, you’re sure you’re going to die from the pain of losing one.

A wail rips out from you, a wail that matches the baby's cries in your arms. 

“Benji! Benji what? What’s wrong? What’s wrong with him?? Why is my baby not crying? Benji let me see him!”

Benjamin pleads his tears and sobs away. He pleads the ugly, ugly disappointment and the heartwrenching pain in his gut away as he forces himself not to look at that…thing. That thing that killed his son. He faces his wife instead and pleads the tears away because he has to be strong. He has to be strong, for his wife needs him now. His wife needs him by her side, just as much as Benji needs her.

So he gently wraps up the dead newborn in his arms with a blanket. A blanket that was identical to the that was wrapped around the hybrid kid. A blanket that was chosen by the couple exactly nine months ago. A blanket that was supposed to have had the chance to be washed and used over and over again.

With whatever strength he had left, Benj dragged himself towards his wife in the kiddie pool and wrapped his arms around the sobbing woman. He gently cupped her cheeks and wiped her tears away with shaky hands. The man's own cheeks were drenched with the tears that kept on spilling, almost in stubborn defiance against his pleas. 

It’s crazy how merciless life can be sometimes.

Because one moment you’re mourning the loss of a child, the next you’re trying to keep your wife alive.

One moment you’re the husband, the next you're need to be the doctor.

Thousands of thoughts raced through Doctor Crane’s mind as he tried to identify what may have caused the postpartum hemorrhage. 

Blood clotting condition? Thrombin maybe? Not likely, Pemma’s scratches always healed fast. 

Uterine atony? No, no he would’ve realized if there had been a steady loss of blood after the delivery…right? He would’ve realized. He would've.

Uterine trauma? Yeah,  yeah that was most likely it…but from what? Benji’s eyes hardened as he looked at the hybrid baby with accusing eyes. The kid had wings, but no way were feathers sharp enough to cause any damage to the uterine. The baby was half a bird, right? So talons maybe? 

Benji’s eyes frantically darted from side to side and his breathing picked up as he tried to pinpoint what had caused the excessive bleeding. He was no expert in childborth. He remembered taking a general education about it in med school but he had little knowledge of complications. He racked his brain for anything that could help Pemma.

All his thoughts came to a halt when he felt a weak hand squeeze his shanking one. Pemma.

“Ben…just be with me for a moment.”

And it’s crazy how life could be so merciless because here she was, bleeding out, but still having to be the strong one for Benji.

She looked into his eyes with a sense of serenity, because she knew. She knew that she wouldn’t make it. And Benji saw no sign of anger nor fear in her bright blue eyes. He saw no trace of blame in them and he just knew she didn’t blame him for what was happening. She didn’t blame him for being the doctor and not being able to save her, because of course she didn’t. 

Pemma could barely think straight because of the shock her brain was going through. The shock that left her airless and unable to collect her breath. 

Call her delusional but it reminded her of the way she forgot how to breathe when she saw the same pair of warm brown eyes for the first time. That was a decade ago. Those brown eyes that had her offered so much comfort throughout the years, but now held so much pain inside. The same brown eyes that looked at her with so much love whenever she met them. The same love she was sure that he would show their kid after she was gone.

And life was so merciless to Benjamin Crane that day, for not only had he buried a child and a soulmate, but he was also left alone with the hybrid baby that had caused it all.

[clairedaring]

tag game ✨

huge thank you to the lovely zey @thasorns for thinking of me. i love you too (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

1. why did you choose your url?

no one remembers her but claire dearing from jurassic world will always hold a special place in my heart.

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

poomphuripan - the bl sideblog that i started just because my main got deactivated for a bit but i guess for now, it's mostly uppoom and msi-focused. in december, it'll probably be torjj and spare me your mercy-focused. i think i'll probably just be using these for the ql series i have a crazy hyperfixation about.

huiyanan - a pentagon yanan/hui focus sideblog

coryjeacoma - my musical theatre sideblog for random audio bootlegs and sometimes musical gifs

ryuvachirawich - my unused (mostly lakorn) gifs blog for extra gifs i make but that doesn't make it into any main or sideblogs. at first i was trying to keep this sideblog lowkey but then i needed to tag the gifs w my gif tag anyway so i could search for them so disclosing is fine 🤣

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

2014... what do you mean it's been a decade since i started using tumblr.... time isn't real

4. do you have a queue tag?

i tried but i've given up on queue-ing in general so i don't. my tumblr is constantly in two modes: super active or going months without a single post lmaoooo.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i wanted to be where all the gifmakers are but i have too much interests so this shall remains a multi-fandom blog or more like a "whatever media claire is consuming atm" blog 

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

dirk gently is the single most perfect holistic detective in existence. sometimes i'm too attached to my url and my icon, i don't think i can ever change them. headers i can but i haven't changed my url/icon for 3-4 years i think.

7. why did you choose your header?

i feel you linger in the air is THAT series for me. dethroned almost every other thai series on my all time fave list (i say almost because bad genius series is still holding its crown well)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

i just checked and apparently it's my first and only merlin gifset 😅

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i have no idea but i love all my mutuals （づ￣3￣）づ╭❤️～

10. how many followers do you have?

i hit 1k recently. crazy to me because i've left this tumblr empty for months before starting being active again last october???

11. how many people do you follow?

4000+ but that's only because i'm too lazy to unfollow people. so yea i rarely see things on my dash. i just end up scrolling through my fave gifmakers tags to find things they make.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

i don't think so????? i mean the closest is probably me saying super random things on this tag.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

it used to be once a week... but these days it's really a daily routine lmao. although i'm pretty sure i'll leave my tumblr dusting once my stand-in ends... who knows... we'll see...

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

how can i? i'm so non-confrontational, i reblog things in private to argue with op 😭 lmao (arguments that op will never see lmao, i'm saving them and me both the trouble really). just enfp things.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

huh why do i never get them on my dash (⊙x⊙;)

16. do you like tag games?

sometimes i forget but i love being tagged in them because i get to know about all the great mutuals i have on here, especially music tags because i always get incredible new music recommendations

17. do you like ask games?

apparently i had my asks closed without knowing for quite some time so i haven't received asks for so long. maybe one day i'll do them but i have bad records of answering asks so ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i'm not sure if being THE certified way apologist/way gifmaker qualifies her as tumblr famous but maybe sasa @zhouxiangs is the most famous mutual i have

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

let's call this mutuals whose editing skills i wanna steal (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

lana @sherrymagic whenever you see me reblogging lana's joe sets every week, you'll see me gushing about the consistency in her coloring and that's because that's something i'm obsessed with, especially considering my stand-in's grim/dark cinematographic coloring. also i don't know how lana chooses the perfect lines from each eps to do her recap sets because most of the times i can't even choose between which scenes to gif.

eva @alienwlw eva makes the most beautiful lyrics set and is willing to do my most niche requests and i'm always looking forward to seeing her gifs because it's always so warm and grainy and crisp and i'm just like wahhhh *heart eyes emoji* every time

20. tags?

no pressure tagging anyone today ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪

[puzzledmemories]

((hello everyone! again! it's been like. a month. again.))

((work was making me super anxious. we had this ongoing situation with a client where, to keep things brief and anonymous, the rest of my team was getting harassed by this client, and i was the only person they would come to for like, assistance or any sort of communication that didn't end sour. i'm not even assigned to this client and there was like, stuff going on where my one co-worker probably should've straight up called the police... it was really bad, and i was both stressed out about being the only person who this client would interact positively (or even neutrally) with, and the possibility that this client would turn on me, i'd start getting harassed, and all bridges between this client and my team would be burned when like, we have to offer this guy services because of how the program i work for works. the client randomly complimented me one day on a day we didn't even interact otherwise in a way that made me feel really...weird, because of the specific situation. it's been weighing on me super heavily. things are just finally calming down and things seem to be okay now, but, i'm still kinda recovering from it.))

((on top of that, at home we've had constant issues with our septic system and even had an issue with our washing machine at the same time.))

((i was so stressed out all the time and just constantly socially burnt out that i've basically been unable to do any non-essential communication. i get anxious about communication to begin with, but it's just been too much for me to handle. i have been trying to push myself to get back on here for weeks. this is me. uh. trying to come back again. take 3! ever since i got super sick that one time i haven't been able to keep up my rhythm here, and i feel so bad about it. everyone here is so nice and welcoming and fun to interact with, and i want to be here so bad, and i don't want to make anyone feel bad by the fact that i haven't been here because it's not personal or purposeful by any means, but i've basically been at my limit of what i can emotionally and mentally handle. now that things at work are, uh, calming down... i think i can start to breathe, and i think i can start to push myself to get back on here more again, if you all will have me still.))

((my queue's run dry, i see, so i'll have to work to refill it... but it's late tonight, and i've been trying to just sike myself up to get on here and apologize for being absent for hours. i'm going to make this push tomorrow. a new month for a fresh start, i suppose! i'll be trying to go through my activity and find replies i owe, and reply to dms i've been sent. feel free to reach out to me, whether we've dmed before or not, if you have a reply i owe you want to make sure i don't miss, if you just wanna chat, or any reason really. feel free to ask for my discord, too. i've missed you all so so much and i wish i could be better about being on here again for you all. i want to try to be because i miss getting on here every day and interacting with everyone, and it's not that i haven't had the time, it's been an issue of energy and work stress. once i'm caught up on activity and i'm in a good groove for dms, i'll work on replies.))

((i'm very sorry, again, about disappearing, again. everyone here has been so cool and nice to me and fun, but my extra stress just made it hard to just, be here. or on tumblr at all, because for a long while i couldn't even touch my personal blog. i am going to try very hard to be the kind of person you all deserve to have around. it's a lot to live up to. but, i'm gonna do my best!))

((starting tomorrow, i will be trying my best!))