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if shes your girl then why have i slowly been replacing her parts until there’s nothing left of her original body? is she then still your girl?
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One of my favorite things about Put Baby In Pelican Mouth is that not only does the pelican have the intelligence necessary to speak human language but also knows how to lie, suggesting it has a theory of mind, yet not enough to understand that no one is going to put baby in pelican mouth.
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Lies I have told children ages 7-9
I am five billion years old
My name is Snuffalufagus Bartholomew Von Maximus the Third
I'm in Kindergarten because after college they make you start again all the way back in the beginning.
#accurate to my summer camp counselor experience#i told the children outrageous lies about why they weren't allowed to play in the street#which kept their attention long enough to get them across
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follow me on mychart
#bash contributes:#can anyone see my post about my colonoscopy? I'm worried I've been shadowbanned by the algorithm
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the human hand is a wonderfully versatile tool for trying to carry one thing too many and dropping everything all over the fucking floor
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petition to change LGBT to DFTQ (Dykes Faggots Trannies and Queers, naturally)
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people are wrong about chosen family. chosen family can become just as involuntary and inescapable as regular family if you use your fucking imagination
#do think about the next generation when establishing your chosen family#what kinds of relationships do you expect your kids to have with these people?#because i have 5 clusters of relatives of the 'parents expect a relationship' type#and it's a lot
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I was searching for some pretty Hanukkah gifs to schedule a post tomorrow wishing my Jewish followers Happy Hanukkah and I found a fit/shape/body building site that posted this
And I thought to myself, I simply must show my Jewish followers fit Menorah Man
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For the purposes of this poll, do NOT count the following:
Your own birth (unless there were complications/urgent concerns)
Routine check-ups or scheduled-in-advance appointments that just happened to be at a hospital
Visiting or accompanying someone else to the hospital
Use your discretion as to whether to count visits to urgent care.
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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.
#100% of my ED and urgent care visits have been GI-related#yeah uh definitely time to follow up on that gastroenterology referral#wait no i did end up going to the ED for a nerve block that time i grabbed the 500F metal pan#but the point still stands
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You know, before this year the worst thing I would have said about Neil Gaiman's work is that he likes to make arguments about race that are maybe not an upper middle class white Brit's lane to be making, but knowing what we know now, there are several conspicuously recurring themes on the fundamental nature of relationships between men and women I'm inclined to examine in a new light.
#a good way of putting this#and why i personally don't like to go too hard on Death of the Author#the relationship between artist and art is important context
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re-listening to this bit in GtN and he might be an ass about it but u can't deny that Silas Oktakiseron was THE realest dude at Canaan House bc has anyone ever been so frank with Gideon before or since this moment
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#ah yes christmas#the holiday associated with giving children... *checks notes*#amanita mushrooms#how charming
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i think pyrrha “never could help giving the girls what they want” dve and dulcie “oops! it’s me again, never doing what i’m told” septimus would get along like a house on fire.
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