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if shes your girl then why have i slowly been replacing her parts until there’s nothing left of her original body? is she then still your girl?

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One of my favorite things about Put Baby In Pelican Mouth is that not only does the pelican have the intelligence necessary to speak human language but also knows how to lie, suggesting it has a theory of mind, yet not enough to understand that no one is going to put baby in pelican mouth.

[vierranliveshere]

Lies I have told children ages 7-9

I am five billion years old

My name is Snuffalufagus Bartholomew Von Maximus the Third

I'm in Kindergarten because after college they make you start again all the way back in the beginning.

[vierranliveshere]

follow me on mychart

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the human hand is a wonderfully versatile tool for trying to carry one thing too many and dropping everything all over the fucking floor

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petition to change LGBT to DFTQ (Dykes Faggots Trannies and Queers, naturally)

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people are wrong about chosen family. chosen family can become just as involuntary and inescapable as regular family if you use your fucking imagination

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I was searching for some pretty Hanukkah gifs to schedule a post tomorrow wishing my Jewish followers Happy Hanukkah and I found a fit/shape/body building site that posted this

And I thought to myself, I simply must show my Jewish followers fit Menorah Man

[vierranliveshere]

For the purposes of this poll, do NOT count the following:

Your own birth (unless there were complications/urgent concerns)

Routine check-ups or scheduled-in-advance appointments that just happened to be at a hospital

Visiting or accompanying someone else to the hospital

Use your discretion as to whether to count visits to urgent care.

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[vierranliveshere]

You know, before this year the worst thing I would have said about Neil Gaiman's work is that he likes to make arguments about race that are maybe not an upper middle class white Brit's lane to be making, but knowing what we know now, there are several conspicuously recurring themes on the fundamental nature of relationships between men and women I'm inclined to examine in a new light.

[vierranliveshere]

re-listening to this bit in GtN and he might be an ass about it but u can't deny that Silas Oktakiseron was THE realest dude at Canaan House bc has anyone ever been so frank with Gideon before or since this moment

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i think pyrrha “never could help giving the girls what they want” dve and dulcie “oops! it’s me again, never doing what i’m told” septimus would get along like a house on fire.