#; one for the money queue for the show // q.

[suckxrpunched]

"ᴵ ᶠᵉᵉˡ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᴮᵒᵇᵇʸ ᶠⁱˢʰᵉʳ,

ᴬˡʷᵃʸˢ ᶠᵒᵘʳ ᵐᵒᵛᵉˢ ᵃʰᵉᵃᵈ ᵒᶠ,

ᴹʸ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᵉᵗⁱᵗⁱᵒⁿ, ˡⁱˢᵗᵉⁿ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᵃⁱⁿ'ᵗ ᵍᵒⁿⁿᵃ ˢᵗᵒᵖ ᵐᵉ ᵉᵛᵉʳ;

ᴵ ᶠᵉᵉˡ ᵃˢ ˡᵃʳᵍᵉ ᵃˢ ᴮⁱᵍᵍⁱᵉ, ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ⁱᵗ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ -

ᴵ ᶠᵉᵉˡ ⁱⁿ ᶜʰᵃʳᵍᵉ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᴮⁱᵍᵍⁱᵉ, ʷᵉᵃʳⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᶜᵒˢᵇʸ ˢʷᵉᵃᵗᵉʳ,

ᵂᵉᵃʳⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᶜᵒˢᵇʸ ˢʷᵉᵃᵗᵉʳ,,,"

[stormyoceans]

random thoughts and recollections about the jimmysea and pondphuwin fanmeet in rome!!!!!!!!

WARNING. this is just a ridiculous amount of obnoxious ramblings by yours truly with basically no pictures whatsoever because 1) im terrible at taking them, 2) my phone is old and has terrible quality, 3) even when @petrichoraline so kindly offered me her spare phone to take some decent photos and videos i almost yeeted it across the room in the midst of things, so. yeah, just be aware these are a lot of boring words ;;;;;;;;

ANYWAY. let's get into it!!!!!!!

JIMMYSEA PHOTO SESSION

putting the jimmysea photo session LITERALLY FIRST THING FIRST sure was a choice and not a good one for my heart which clearly shows in my picture with them because i look like a deer caught in headlights (im not subjecting y'all to my face but trust me on this i was SHAKING)

with the way the queue and the room were set up i feel like it was so much easier to look at and make eye contact with sea rather than jimmy, so at the end i whipped around to thank jimmy too and i think i automatically tried to wai to both of them, which i hope wasn't inappropriate ;;;;;;;;;; in my defense everything that was going on in my head in that moment was FUCK FUCK FUCK THEY'RE ACTUALLY REAL AND SO HANDSOME FUCK

also i had no pose in mind and i ended up panicking ;;;;;;;;

(more ramblings under the cut)

PONDPHUWIN Q&A PANEL

i bought the cheapest pass for them at the last second so i was sitting very far in the back during their panel and yet i could still see pond's jawline from all the way over there like i swear that shit is so sharp it could cut glass

i keep forgetting just how young phuwin actually is because he both looks and sounds so mature and confident and suave it's honestly insane

although one of the games was like. one of them had to be blindfolded and try to guess which pose the other was making just by touching them, and at the very beginning when pond put the blindfold on phuwin kept running away from him which was both so funny and cute

also the host kept putting up numbers with his hand and asking 'how many are these' to a blindfolded pond and one of those times pond answered by going 🤟 and i was like POND GOD DAMMIT

btw phuwin invited everyone to the GMM building so jot that down. if anyone gets there and securities asks you something y'all can blame him now (jk)

phuwin's favorite scene in we are is the art room scene with a sleeping phum in episode 11, while pond's is the pool scene always in episode 11. THE TASTE THE VISION THE FLAVOR TRULY MEN AFTER MY OWN HEART

JIMMYSEA Q&A PANEL

i was sitting in the second row for the jimmysea panel so i could catch so many small moments i absolutely loved such as:

they had to press a buzzer for questions and they always did that together, with jimmy's hand being on top of sea's like 5 times out of 6

jimmy poured some water for both himself and sea and he made sure that sea drank some

there was a game with balloons where the two sides of the audience were supposed to get the balloons to the back and then bring them back to the boys, and we failed spectacularly on jimmy's side (HE FELT SO BETRAYED IM SO SORRY BBY), so when the balloon got to sea very quickly he pushed it back towards the audience to buy jimmy's some time

both p'tha and p'aof were actually sitting next to the audience on my side of the room watching jimmysea panel and in my head i was like EXCUSE ME SIRS CAN WE TALK [slides monopoly money towards p'tha for a new jimmysea series] [has WORDS with p'aof]

so the way questions worked was like. they had to press a buzzer and after that a spinning wheel with different colors would come up on screen and on whichever color it stopped on they had to pick a piece of paper of that same color with a random question written on it. during one of the spins, the wheel landed on yellow and jimmy picked one of the papers, but i think because of the lighting it actually looked green from the audience's pov, so everyone was screaming 'that's green'. however jimmy insisted that it was yellow, and that what we were saying was yellow was actually orange (the host was agreeing with jimmy but sea was agreeing with us so im still a bit confused on the matter sfjksgfj). then the host said 'we're still gonna do this one' (as in the yellow/green one that jimmy had already picked) but jimmy went 'two questions' and picked one of the yellow/orange ones too, so the host just turned towards the organizers like well since he's the one who said so. JIMMY JITARAPHOL TRULY A MAN OF THE PEOPLE (but also please stop giving nomnoms reasons to have beef with the color orange sfjkshfksg)

actual thing that happened:

host: describe each other in 3 words

jimmy: very cute creature. he's my cat

sea: my good boy

me: WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN WITNESSING RN

jimmy said he would like to play a detective in a future series and i almost vibrated out of my seat like YES PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES THAT'S A MAN AFTER MY OWN HEART HE KNOWS WHAT'S UP P'THA ARE YOU HEARING THAT PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS I COULD GIVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sea said he wants to play a dentist but he actually meant dermatologist, he just messed up the word, and jimmy said that if we want him to be a dentist as well we should give him six more years sfjksjksf

at one point sea said 'mamma mia' and i burst out laughing so hard that's when i almost flung @petrichoraline's phone across the room (and that's when i also decided it was just better for everyone involved if i didn't try to take pictures or record stuff ;;;;;;;;;)

they also had to act out some words and when the host said 'sleep' sea was like 'i thought he (jimmy) would point at me' SON WHY ARE YOU CALLING YOUR OWN ASS OUT ✋😭 (and of course jimmy took the chance to point out that sea did in fact sleep right before the panel)

when the host said the word 'love' sea pointed at jimmy and jimmy pointed at the audience and then they were both quick at mimicking each other (so jimmy also pointed at sea, and sea also pointed at the audience)

SEA IS SUCH A GOOD SINGER AND JIMMY GOT SO MUCH BETTER TOO I WILL GENUINELY ACCEPT NO SLANDER TOWARDS THEM WHEN IT COMES TO SINGING AFTER THIS FANMEET

it was established that the most important words in italian are 1) mamma (mom), 2) pasta, 3) pizza, 4) ti amo (i love you). hard to disagree with that tbh

i think after this fanmeet i've really got to give it to jimmy and admit he actually might be an extrovert because he was just soooooooo ridiculously charming and witty and quick on his feet when it came to find funny answers and deal with some sound issue during his song like i really do think he shines when he's around people

i think you can tell sea is definitely more reserved compared to jimmy but what he doesn't have in expansiveness he makes it up with being so incredibly endearing like he really is just SO. DAMN. CUTE. (even if he tried to give me a heart attack by having his arms out for the fanmeet PUT THOSE GUNS AWAY SIR)

AUTOGRAPH SESSION

had a chance to get a closer look to pond and phuwin when they all walked inside the room and im trying to say this in a way that doesn't make me sound like an insane creep but like. the sheer amount of FACE pond has. i've seen him with my own two eyes and i still can't believe that's a real human being just going around his life. WITH THAT FACE. kinda understand now why greeks decided that the human form was the most important subject for artistic endeavour because jesus. that man really is sculpted by the gods

all that being said, i think the one whose pictures don't give him justice is sea. he is just so ridiculously handsome in real life and has the most beautiful smile i've ever seen i kinda. lost it a little about it ;;;;;;;

i think it's one of the reasons i suddenly got even more nervous and ended up messing up so badly ;;;;; i had this entire speech in my head about vice versa but i was so worried about holding up the line and the fact that everyone had even small gifts for them while i was empty handed and they were just. SO MUCH. so i just said 'hiiloveyouthankyou' to both of them and rushed away ;;;;;;;;; and i regret it so much because i think sea was trying to say something but after that he just went 'oh. love you too. bye' IM SO SFJKSHFKSGFJGSJDFJDK STUPID

FINAL CONSIDERATIONS

pondphuwin and jimmysea give off such different vibes and energies imho, at least during panels, like idk how to explain it but they truly feel like the cool kids and their silly goose uncles (and im saying this in the most loving way)

so. i guess this is the moment where i get a bit emotional about jimmysea. like i know im very biased but at the same time im also very aware that what we get to see of them is always somewhat performative, and yet. if before there was a part of me that was like 'this is gonna be a reality check and a reminder that i don't do parasocial relationships', that got pretty much crushed after this fanmeet. jimmysea genuinely look like the loveliest darlingest sweetest softest most precious boys who always make sure to thank everyone for getting where they are now. like my heart is so full of love for them i honestly don't know what else to say rn

if i have to find one negative thing (aside my blundering of the autograph session so badly) is the vice versa erasure. like both jimmy and sea had a solo song and that would have been the perfect opportunity for 'have i found' or 'by my side' but of course that didn't happen. one of the questions was 'what was your favorite scene to film' and they just assumed it was about last twilight. this is not me blaming them btw, because even when the fanmade video for them was played it only had last twilight scenes and moments so like. it's obvious they would think everyone just cares about last twilight. which is why i regret the autograph session so much and im sad im not the type of person who can just shout 'what about a vice versa scene!!!!!!' from the audience 🥲

this is also why i ended up buying the italian version of the vice versa novel btw BECAUSE IM NOTHING IF NOT A WEAK ASS PETTY HOE

my biggest warmest thank you goes to @petrichoraline who was just so endlessly patient and supportive and sweet and nice through it all, idk what would i have done without her. i also don't really have the words to properly express myself but like. I LOVE HER SOSOSOSOOSOSOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

a big thank you and sorry also goes to @puppy-phum who is just sooooo lovely. i feel bad because i wasn't there for her as much as i wished to but im grateful we went through the photo and autograph sessions together. I LOVE HER SOOOOOOOOO MUCH TOO!!!!!!!!!!!

[vulpini-mage]

[ The following i wrote on a different post that no one saw so i'm just adding it here]

Zoey’s family life is mostly like canon with some differences.

like i said before Zoey was always kept in check by the alpha bitches in her life. she’s never been in charge of anything

zoey’s mom had her first daughter, then Zoey, married and divorced all within the first five years after high school and the three lived off and on with her parents on their lavender farm until hooking up with her second husband, an religious man, and i struggled to believe a guy like jeb would be perfectly ok with raising someone else's kids and not having his own child so for this, kevin is jeb and linda's son and zoey and her sister may be full sister or half sisters.

Zoey’s mom was a lot like Zoey; self-entitled, judgemental, etc but she got a harsh reality check. I don’t think I should drastically change much about Linda and Jeb, mostly like flesh out their background, and show some growth. At the start, Linda is convinced that her situation is her happy ending after struggling for so long; the importance of this is to explain the reason Zoey is like that™ is not the main character/author’s Expy but it’s a product of learned behavior and being spoiled by her grandparents.

Q: Why is zoey’s sister barely acknowledged? I thought the siblings were just set dressing but the younger brother has a major role in the new series but was never mentioned past the first book. justice for Zoey’s sister. She doesn’t even have a page on the wiki. also, would a teenager/ young adult go by Barbara/Barbie in the early 00s? I don’t think so but I can’t think of a time-accurate name that would be better? barbara doesn’t fit in with zoey and Kevin.

aphrodite’s human was Bethany Rose Lafont, no her dad’s not the mayor, real estate guy, and the mom comes from old money.

i gotta add to this when it pops out of my queue.

To explain why barbara is not in the picture is she’s at college. it’s not ever explained how much older barbara is compared to Zoey, it think it’s implied to be a year apart with Zoey a junior and the sister a senior.

next update, i will talk about my plans on what to do with the love interests

tell me about your HON rewrite

Uhhh, this is so much longer that i was expecting it to be and not cohesive.

some pretext about what happens before Zoey shows up. Nerefet is the big bad of the series. rather than being this major powerhouse that everyone is in awe of, she's this overzealous social climber that was banished from high vampire society and is slowly building up power to take everyone down and take what she considers her true place, the ruler of all vampires.

Aphrodite was her most recent pet project after the last one died on her.

Aphrodite was a major vampire nerd before being turned into, a menace in every vampire forum, studying everything publicly known about vampire culture, you get the picture. but it worked out.; in vampire society, she has been making a name for herself.

The important thing here is that Nererfet only cares about being the most powerful and at the start of the rewrite that's vampires. once she discovers something better, she will sell out the entire vampire race to get something greater. Aphrodite actually cares a lot about vampires and vampire society. and once she figures out nerefet isn't as devoted she wants to annihilate her for that

zoey is the perfect replacement.

zoey is fucking dumbass; she's sorta a heather duke/Starscream; always been kept mostly in check by a queen bee (her mom, her older sister, and her friend Kayla) is constantly trying to be the head bitch but the second she gets a bit of power, she can't handle it. so in this zoey's not so much mary sue, she is just not considered a threat compared to other characters so she gets to glide by while in house of night. she will not let go of any sort of power for love or money and will take everyone down with her.

so we have; gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss: vampire edition, and these three are the most powerful spirit users in centuries.

everyone else in vampire society: why tf are we stuck with them?

other than these three let's talk about zoey's friends.

stevie rae is the most reluctant about becoming vampire; of all the nerd herd she is the most put together before being turned; meaning she'll be the one going through it the most. she's desperately holding on to her humanity.

the twins, their gimmick was paper thin, made no sense, and fucking stupid, so now they're actual twins with Erin being albino. Erin is not part of the herd; she's part of Aphrodite's crew here. she's been alienated most of her life from her albinism, kids are cruel and she's always got called a vampire; it got worse in high school. so when the opportunity to be a creature of the night came up she jumped on it.

Shaunee's been told to look out for her sister for as long as she can remember and being her sister's keeper has colored a lot her personality. the second most reluctant to become a vampire; at the start, she and her sister aren't talking. no one knows that they're twins, just that they got to the school at the same time.

Damien......I don't know. his personality was basically gay™ and the only one who studied for the SATs. here's the tentative plan for Damien; since this takes place during '07 he would have gotten bitten to escape his homophobic parents and maybe he got the idea to be bitten by an online friend/boyfriend.

I'm struggling to figure out how to remove zoey's Cherokee background/ magic; mostly it doesn't make sense, I believe it used to just add a mystical element into the series and I do not feel comfortable touching that.

a little expansion on my part: in the original, there were humans, vampyres, red vampyres, and oc gods, and gods.

in this: vampires, ghouls, damphirs, vampire hunters, and humans, maybe some others.

Stevie Rae still dies in book 2. Book 3, no wait. lemme explain the timeline.

the series og timeline fucking stupid, semi takes place in real-time of the 7 years (2007-2014) that the first books were being published then another 6 books from the end of the original books to the start of the spin-off.

but by the time series is over everyone is about 17. Zoey was 17 for 9 years. I know I really should give a damn about the timeline but that does mean that every single thing that happens in the course of the series happens in a little over a year. and that does bother me.

In this version, book one takes place over the course of 3 months from 10/31 to 12/24, Zoey's birthday

book two is from March to June. etc.

Zoey in og was 16➡17, so she was a sophomore. in this, she's 15➡16, and is the youngest of the group, so her awful self entitled attitude makes more sense.

aphrodite and Erik are 17 so they will be full vampires soon.

oh like I said, Stevie rae still dies but her spirit is still around. Zoey gets attacked by her ghoul self and accidentally fuses stevie rae's spirit and body together and makes her into a damphir. stevie are runs away in the chaos and later we find out not only can she walk in the sun but she has spirit powers in addition to her earth powers and has been turning ghouls into damphirs. they're the same group as the red vampyres. this includes Kramisha, nerefet's former pet project.

she still has the gift of prophecy but not bad poetry. Aphrodite still has her visions. kramisha's gift is limited in information but focused on a target while Aphrodite's vision is overloaded with information but happens randomly.

There's more but this has been sitting in my drafts for months and maybe I'll get more ideas to do something with this

[reddeadreference]

Blog Update: (kinda) Travel Blog Style

Reminder: Various polls will be closing within the next 24 hours. (see pinned post for links)

Drafts: 61

Queue: 8 (7 POI posts, 1 face angle post)

---

So I was getting the remaining POI entries I need between the two and I have Arthur go to the Hermit Woman... you either have to run off her dogs or kill them. ... I had to kill them. I just survived a bear attack I'm not dying to three dogs.

Arthur hogties the woman, writes in his journal, and as I have him get on his horse to leave he shouts back,

"You take care now!"

Arthur please...

Speaking of bear attacks I'm VERY curious to know if the camp will react in ANY way to Arthur coming back all scratched up so I'm hoping the wounds don't fade til I ride all the way back... to Clemen's Point... from North Big Valley... The blood faded from his coat but the scratch marks are still there.

Had the rude racer come up to us and ask to race down to Owanjila. Said no. He called us a coward and he's very lucky we have places to be.

Autopilot... Crashed into the tree those damn O'Driscoll's cut down to make Arthur and Micah crash that wagon. Why does no one ever fix that?

Just as we reach near Diablo Ridge (near the edge of West Elizabeth) we have to help a guy with a bear trap and I see our bear scars finally fade away from our back... now we only have the face scar... gotta hurry if I wanna show camp.

Just as I see camp in the distance... face scar is gone. Mission Failure.

...

Walking towards where Micah's at the fire, bear pelt over my shoulder.

Me: Micah I fought a bear and won, look, look!

Micah makes some noise, laughs, "got ya there."

Arthur: Just name the place my friend. Just name the place.

Dude... we fought a BEAR and won. Think we're scared of you???

...

Oh to be as happy as Uncle looks playing the banjo.

...

See's Micah bothering Abigail, beelines for them.

He walks away says "Ladies" to Karen, Tilly, and Grimshaw.

Karen: *happily* Hello!

Me: WTF Karen?!

...

Proceeds to follow him around camp antagonizing him.

He brags about putting money in the box (after fucking teleporting I stg he was behind me)

Arthur: What do you want? A medal?

$25 hm? weeeell.... lemme just put in... $100.

...

Scene comes up where Karen is complaining about Grimshaw, Grimshaw shows up.. with a broom.

The fuck are you out here sweeping, Susan?!

Arthur: *to Karen* My lady.

Karen: Leave it.

What did I do?!

...

As we're leaving camp to head to the Braithwaite place to get a photo of their secret I see Hosea walking away into the woods... with a plate. Where the fuck did he get a PLATE? I thought we only had bowls?!

Then we see him kicking Sean awake (who's supposed to be on guard) and I realize it's for a scene... but then I go over and look via photo mode... plate is gone.

..

Rowing over to the manor and there's a couple sitting on the beach. cute.

I think that's all the things I need for POIs (besides the Grey's secret because for some reason whenever I go to get that entry the paper is gone and neither wrote anything down for it.) so those should be all up within a week.

While I'm out here might as well get some photos for those little islands.

Is there a reason that the music on these fucking things is so fucking creepy at night????

...

If I hit a snake with my boat... it'll be fine right??? . . . It hissed and disappeared but there's no X on the map... but it did a lil flash on the screen... Q-Q I'm sorry Snek.

On the bright side my heath is going up from all this paddling.

got to the sunken/wrecked ship. Never noticed an eagle can spawn at the top of the mast.

So.. just like in real life.. shooting a hole in your boat is a bad idea. Not sure what I thought would happen. In hindsight I should've done this closer to the camp and not... ya know, on the island across from it. That being said if you're ever stuck on one of those islands just set up a camp and poof magically you're back on the main land.

...

Rolled around in the mud to see if I could get Grimshaw to make me wash... she comes up to me... and says they were worried about me Q-Q I didn't think I was gone so long. I just went around the islands for about a day and a half.

Went fishing off the dock

"You sir, are a fish." Arthur is too precious for this world...

[wolfcat-hybrid]

I posted 25,619 times in 2022

107 posts created (0%)

25,512 posts reblogged (100%)

[adding a read more. to be polite]

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@transcarcinization

@tofu-pofu

@magicalgirlmindcrank

@self-righteous-god

@juliuscaesarofficial

I tagged 5,196 of my posts in 2022

#wolfy reblogs - 4,055 posts

#a q 2 u - 3,344 posts

#a queue 2 you - 400 posts

#transcarcinization - 174 posts

#wolfy speaks - 135 posts

#tofu-pofu - 119 posts

#dimension 20 - 91 posts

#disco elysium - 86 posts

#goncharov - 83 posts

#esrah-rah-rasputin - 83 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#me thinkin abt hivemind characters 💝💝💝💝💝💖💖💖💘💘💘💘💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥💌💌💌

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The reason I'm starting T

[Image id: The "maybe the real money was the friends we made along the way" "no, I want my fucking gold." meme from Buzzfeed Unsolved's episode The Treacherous Treasure Hunt of Forrest Fenn edited to say "maybe the real transition was the changes we made along the way" "no, I want my fucking beard". End image id]

178 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

#4

[Image ID: A digital drawing of a camera under a red circle with a diagonal line through the middle. Above the image it says "please ask" under the image it says "before filming". All together it says "please ask before filming". End Image ID]

Work someplace where people film you without asking? Afraid of being posted online without your consent? I do! And I am!

I'm designing some decals and uploading them to redbubble, they're sized for buttons but work for stickers too. Feel free to download them, post them to Twitter, edit them, whatever.

Right now I only have this design, but I'm planning on making more. I'm open to suggestions!

179 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

#3

As fun as the whole "the captain is acting weird and we're just not going to talk about it" is, I really hope in the future we get to see the brain slug addressed and like, fully welcomed by the crew as a unique being. I feel like "I have this person's memories and body but I'm not them" would go well with Sidney and Barry's themes of humanity-but-not-quite

219 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

#2

Was anyone going to tell me "von Raum" literally means "from space" or was I supposed to just find that out while doing german homework myself

397 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Endless void, and beyond counting, twinkling stars...

You've never seen something this vast before.

[Photo ID: Digital fan art of Norman "Skipper" Takamori from Dimension 20's A Starstruck Odyssey. He's looking through a window into the vastness of space. Through his reflection you can see the stars. He has one hand pressed against the glass, the only part of the image you can't see space through, showing our point of view is from Skip himself. His eyes are green, extremely bloodshot, and in the middle of his eye a star- brighter than the rest- is visible. His mouth is slightly agape in wonder. End Photo ID.]

[Video ID: A silent time lapse of me drawing the above image. End video ID.]

See the full post

651 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[darlingpetao3]

Thank You For Ruining My Life: An Homage to Tom Cavanagh

“You’ve ruined all my future expectations of men.”

The costume-clad woman had the courage of steel to say this to the then 53-year-old actor, Tom Cavanagh of The Flash, in front of a ballroom filled with a couple hundred people. This brave utterance was spoken during the 2016 Fan Expo Vancouver convention during a Flash question and answer period with actors Tom Cavanagh and Candice Patton. In its third season, the show was undoubtedly still hitting its stride in popularity, and the room was packed to hear these two speak.

The brave woman whose turn it was at the microphone was referring to Tom’s role as Ed Stevens on the NBC 2000 hit, Ed. I had not known of this show previously, but having now heard such a proclamation intrigued me. “You’ve ruined all my future expectations of men.” That was a tempting notion, and as I continued to listen to this disarmingly charming and wittingly funny man steal the stage, Tom intrigued me even more. I’d watched him play three different versions of Harrison Wells on The Flash since the show’s premiere date, yet I hadn’t truly noticed him in a “life-ruining” way before.

Little did I know that Tom Cavanagh would not only eventually ruin my expectations for men as well, but he would change my life in other ways, too.

After the Q&A, I had this urge to buy a S.T.A.R. Labs T-shirt from one of the vendors at the convention. In my head, I thought I would purchase something so that I could have an excuse to talk to Mr. Cavanagh at his signing booth. Again, he intrigued me, and I wanted to experience more of his incredibly likeable personality. So, I dragged my friend with me to wait for what was maybe ten minutes in a queue. Shortly, I was paying the assistant for my autograph I would soon acquire. They wrote my name on a sticky note so that Tom would know how to sign a personalized message to me. And then, it was my turn.

His eyes sparkled when he turned his attention to me. I instantly had a feeling this was just the way he was naturally. Oh yeah, and I swear to God I’d never seen eyes that blue in my entire life. It genuinely stunned me.

“Hi!” he greeted me.

“Hi!” I responded, equally as thrilled. Tom admired the T-shirt I had brought and took note of my name on the piece of paper. I remember us joking together about the extremely lax security in and around S.T.A.R. Labs on the show, which prompted his message to me on the heather-grey cotton. He wrote my name, [followed by a heart!] and a very welcoming, ‘Come on by, just walk right in!’

I had official clearance from Harrison Wells himself.

I thanked him very much, leaving with my treasure folded over my arms. My friend and I walked towards the hall’s exit, and I couldn’t shake this feeling inside me. It felt strange—I couldn’t name it for the life of me. It felt like an odd fluttering with a simultaneous yet contradictory slightness of breath. My head was confused and would continue to be so for the rest of that weekend.

As I waited at my gate in the airport on that Sunday evening to head home, all I knew was that the moments at the con featuring Tom were the highlights of the weekend for me.

And that I was going to begin watching more of the other films and television shows he’d been in. What was the show the brave cosplaying woman had said ruined her expectations of men? Oh yeah, Ed.

Maybe I’ll start there…

***

Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad…

In my house, it’s never really Christmastime until Michael Bublé croons through the speakers of the wooden stereo system in the living room. It felt especially festive as it was now Christmas Eve—a month and some change since the con. It was late, possibly ten o’clock. I was lying on the floor in front of the Christmas tree with my trusty laptop, a word document open. I was writing three holiday-song short stories featuring the new muse in my life, Harrison Wells. I wanted to be able to post them the next day, so my fingers were taptaptapping away.

I had written a handful of things before 2017, most of which had been Marvel-related, under my second, ‘rebirth’ pen name online. I was a little fish among all the grand and fabulous writers on Archive of Our Own, and in many ways, I still feel like that little fish. I was only just learning and feeling out the psyche of the Wells characters. Each one is so different. In my rewatch of the previous seasons of The Flash, I’d taken diligent notes, and as I’d later learn with each following rewatch, I would know them all—what they think, how they talk and behave—like the back of my hand. It was fun to suss out these guys, and I found that I was growing to love the act of writing even more.

One month later, in January, I would post all the stories I’d written thus far on Tumblr. I’d just created an account and, who knows? Maybe I’d get a wider range of readers on here, too.

Might as well give it a shot, right?

***

Wild horses couldn’t keep me from attending Fan Expo Vancouver 2017, especially when the big news dropped. Not only would Tom Cavanagh be attending again, but so would Carlos Valdes, Danielle Panabaker, Candice Patton, and the convention-elusive star of the show himself, Grant Gustin.

Before the moderator for the Flash cast’s Q&A panel could utter the final thanks to the actors at the end of the session, I bounded from my seat and sped down to the photo op booth where the cast would be taking “Team Up” photos with fans. ‘Sped down’ has to be the most appropriate couple of words because I indeed felt like a true Speedster dressed head to toe as the small screen’s adaptation of Jesse Quick, the angsty and brilliant daughter to Harrison Wells turned superhero.

After waiting in a queue that felt like ages, I was next to stand with Team Flash. As I took a step forward, all of the actors’ and actresses’ eyes—the people I spend time with every Tuesday evening—were on me. I heard a familiar voice approve of my costume. It was Danielle.

“Tremendous.”

Grant even joked that he thought for a second Violett Beane, the actress who plays Jesse Quick, had shown up to surprise them. “I was like, what’s Violett doing here?” he said.

I stood in the back row, happily sandwiched between Tom and Carlos. I dared to let my hands rest on their backs, and I couldn’t contain my joy. Shortly after, when I received my near-instant physical photograph of the moment, I saw Tom had pointed at me. In my mind, it felt as if in his gesture, he meant, hey, look at this cool person. Haha. I couldn’t be further from it.

I would go on to further be uncool in public as I later found myself virtually shaking and almost hyperventilating in line for a one-on-one photo op with Tom. The guy dressed as Kid Flash behind me gave me a few encouragements of the “it’ll be okay” variety. As my turn finally arrived, the lovely man of the hour greeted me with a bright smile in recognition of my Reverse Flash T-shirt (I had done a quick change before this photo op because I had worn a Flash T-shirt for a photo with Grant).

“Great shirt!”

The internet comes up with many hilarious and fitting words, but none such so than the term “Cavanarms.” One of the said Cavanarms found its way around my shoulder in such a casual way. My hand rested on his back, and I have told anyone who will listen about how soft his sweater was. What was approximately a five-second interaction will stay with me forever. And to this day, I will always regret how I’m standing beside him in the picture—there’s a distinguishable gap between us. I could have been closer—should have been!—but I like to use the fact that I felt as if I’d combust into flames if I were any closer to the man.

Maybe I’d have another chance to combust later again that day because, believe it or not, this fan hadn’t had enough of seeing Mr. Cavanagh in person. And since he was appearing at the con for this day only, there was no way I was going to squander any opportunities. Besides, there was still one final thing left on my convention docket: the autograph. In my mind, going to get his autograph was an excuse to get to talk to him and simply be in his presence for longer than five seconds. Here, take my money. I’m a sucker, and I’m proud of it. I saved all year for this kind of thing, and Fan Expo has always been my ultimate nerdy Treat Yoself Day.

Plus, this year I came equipped with a question for Tom (something for which I may have prepared a little too far in advance).

“Which of your characters would win in a lawyering battle: Ed or Miles?”

Miles was Tom’s latest character from his newly released project Darrow & Darrow, a fellow lawyer as Ed Stevens (remember, the man who ruins women’s expectations of men?), whom he portrayed almost two decades prior. What I loved about Tom when I got to ask him this was that he was silent for a moment following the question. He was genuinely putting thought into my question. As he pondered, Tom continued to autograph the photo of us together taken mere hours ago.

“Ed. He would wipe the floor with that other guy. Like, Miles is great, but Ed has a rapier-sharp mind, you know?”

I wholeheartedly agreed with his answer and felt relieved inside for some reason. We thanked each other (as politely as two Canadians can) before I left him to pay attention to the next lucky soul in line. I made the mistake of casting my eyes downward at the signed photo.

Tom had signed two little hearts over the I’s in my name. He really needed to stop adding hearts to my things, or I was just going to melt to the floor. In fact, I started to make these strange noises as I tried not to completely maul everyone in front of me while exiting. My friend ushered me as fast as physically possible on our way out of the main hall. One man took one look at me and asked, “Are you okay?”

No.

“Yep!”

The second I made it out of the herd, I broke out into open space. First came the minor hyperventilating. Then came the squealing followed by laughter. Top it off with various fangirlish comments of, “He’s so beautiful!”, “His eyes are so blue!” and “I love him!” and I was probably quite the sight to see (but at a convention, that’s considered normal!). My friend smiled on as she let me express everything that I had to keep inside until I had the right time to expel my emotions. I was on cloud nine. Ten, if at all possible.

The next day would be the con’s final day, which I would attend alone. My friend needed to catch the ferry in order to prepare for her courses the day after. I did a scan of the convention hall one final time in case there was something I missed purchasing. Afterwards, I sat on the cold hard flooring of the convention centre hallway for a bit of a break. I was wiped out. With my phone in hand, I smiled at the messages from this one Tumblr blogger who had been following my posted adventures at the con. I had seen and replied to many of her comments on my stories I’d written thus far, and I enjoyed her matching enthusiasm for Tom and The Flash in general. I felt her to be a kindred spirit. I had no idea then that I was chatting with one of my future best friends, L.

***

I spotted her.

She was wearing an identical shirt to the one I had on—a light grey T-shirt with a sequinned Spider-Man mask in the corner, which around it read, We met on the Web. A giddy me couldn’t wait for the short escalator ride to end. Her back was to me and facing the baggage claim, so here was my chance to surprise her instead.

I towered over my friend, E, and donned a low, authoritative voice.

“Excuse me, Miss, can you come with me?”

She squealed a greeting to me and I returned it as we hugged for the very first time after two and a half years of online friendship. We would still have about two hours to kill until our mutual Tumblr best friend, L, touched down at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport from across the Pond.

Something I noticed was that E and I carried on talking during our wait like it was second nature, that we hung out like this all the time. Whereas when I met L in person for the first time the year previously, our first meeting was that of quiet, delighted shock, unknowing how to react to one another’s physical presence. It almost felt like a fantasy. The closest thing we’d ever gotten to this was visiting over video chats! I’m not sure what each of these different reactions in these separate meetings meant, but what I do know is that I’ve never had such strong female friendships such as these—so full of uplifting support and love for one another. They are the greatest ladies I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.

And as a searching L eventually turned the corner to meet us in the Arrivals terminal, I caught sight of her Tom & Grant bandana tied around the handle to her carry-on bag. It was an item she had received in return for helping fund the short film produced in 2018 (I’d bought the ringtone). Seeing the accessory jolted me to remember that the former of the titular short was the reason for this long-awaited get-together holiday in the Windy City in the first place. Tom Cavanagh, unbeknownst to him, had just officially united three online friends, each from a different country, to spend six full days of in-person bonding and a whole lot of fun.

***

I should have been shelving books.

I should have been doing a lot of library-related tasks, but my head was elsewhere. Anywhere other than the small-town public library where I work. Instead, I sat on the carpeted floor of the Junior/Young Adult section with my phone in hand and a dreadful article title staring back at me.

“The Flash: Carlos Valdes and Tom Cavanagh to Exit after 7 Seasons.”

My world felt like it was falling apart.

Tom was leaving? There had been rumours and wonderings spreading around the fandom regarding whether he was leaving the show. With a storyline ending with a monumental sacrifice and a time-travelling man saying his farewells, it all seemed to point to the fact. I should have known… I could have rivalled Supergirl as being the Paragon of Hope after all the optimism I doled out to my followers and friends who would come to me worried Tom would exit the show. I would always give reasons to deny such a thing could happen, claiming that I’d believe when I saw it.

Well, there it was, and I definitely saw it.

One could feel the ripple effect over the internet of the shards of broken and riled-up hearts around the world.

Tom’s exit was on his terms, having not felt challenged by his character’s plotlines, as mentioned in a recent Entertainment Weekly article. As a viewer—and I am a viewer (Mike and Tom Eat Snacks, anyone?), it has been increasingly difficult to look past the missed shots made by story editors and showrunner, so understandably, the actor would want to seek something more exciting and meatier. That said, Tom has always shone on-screen and taken what he’s been given in stride. He turns unearthed material into diamonds and indeed shines on screen. Steals it, even! Tom easily makes the episodes he’s in better, and when he’s missing, you feel the loss. The few episodes of Season 7 without him only give us a tiny hint at how the show will be without him going forward. It much resembles when you might bring out your favourite jigsaw puzzle, only to find that the one piece you need to complete it isn’t there.

***

On a personal note, as I write this, I am roughly 20 followers away from reaching a milestone of 2,000. I have written well over 200 stories for The Flash alone (whether they be short or long, one-shots or chaptered), and goodness knows how many words I’ve generated altogether over the course of these many years with inspiration from the show and my favourite character. I’ve written and co-written novel-length stories, one monumental Wellsian story of which was done alongside L and E (almost solely done through alternating text messaging in the app, Line) that reached over 108,000 words and consisted of 42 chapters. And when I’m not writing for my blog, I’m also working on trying to accomplish my dream of becoming a published author. Just as I thought before I launched my Tumblr blog, I think again now: Might as well give it a shot, right?

***

I have watched virtually everything Tom has been in that I could get my hands on, both physically and electronically. Sure, a few titles are out of my reach and probably lost to the very early 90's forever, but from what I've seen through Tom's filmography is enough to know that he can do anything. He can play the romantic leading man that will make you fall head over heels for him or a deranged killer that will have you genuinely scared of him. That is talent. Tom always brings something new to the table from each role to the next, and (when he's not playing those psycho killers) you can't help but admire his craft.

Not only is his acting stellar, but from what we as fans have gathered on the man, Tom has got to be one of the kindest men in the business. His humour and sheer ridiculousness could get anyone through a tough time (we’ve seen plenty of bloopers and behind-the-scenes videos to prove this!). He has clearly bottled and stored an endless supply of Fountain of Youth™ and each year continues to wow us with his handsomeness. Tom is charming, dedicated, and yes, arguably holds the world record for Bluest Eyes.

In my eyes, Tom Cavanagh gave me the two best friends I could have ever asked for, as well as plenty more lovely friends I’ve continued to make online. (One day, I hope to meet him again so that I can tell him in person how because of him, I’ve met such very important people in my life). Through Tom, I have truly found my passion for writing, and in doing so, segued me to dare to dream of becoming a published novelist. I wholeheartedly believe all of this would not have happened if it weren’t for those first series of events that led me to meet Tom and love and admire him immensely. He is indisputable proof that there are indeed men like him out there. Indeed, he did ruin all of my future expectations of men. He ruined my life in the absolute best way and I am eternally grateful.

I am very much looking forward to what Tom will do next. I think it’s rather needless to say that I will follow him in his career, as he has gained a devoted fan for life. He represents so much to me and so much of it I have gained since meeting him that fateful day, when I thought to myself, Maybe I should buy this T-shirt and get this guy to sign it. Wherever Tom goes in life, I’ll be here to cheer him on.

I have a pretty good feeling plenty of others will, too.

[yesiscandyskiller]

Here´s my self early Birthday gift pic with Alex Vincent, and oh boii how was my experience meeting this lovely boii I´m still in shock?!!!  👀 well first off.Once at the Con (had a rough time with the plane process it was my first time lol) I chickened out when I spotted his table, and had to give it 2 tries to finally step up. Since I just had one day to go around Guadalajara I got a VIP pass to not loose much time on queues, so as soon as I got near they were gonna skip me over to him. So when they did indeed I got frozen XD but he noticed and instantly caught my attention like asking me how I´ve have been and if I was enjoying the convention, “I´m the one who should be asking that to you XD how´s treating you Mexico, how was your trip?” and he started chatting to me and it was so natural and he was so friendly I don´t even know why I was so nervous for a start, and I hand him over the present I got for him like with the intention of him to check it out later to not consume much of his time but he was like “oh wait I wanna see what´s inside” I gave him a local Tequila (Guadalajara is the capital of Tequila, I had to!) and the print of the drawing I made for him and he was so impressed and asked me where did I found the image “I made it my self XD it took me a whole week to get it done!” “no way you did it, that´s awesome” “I´ve tagged you on instagram if you wanna make sure cB” (oh I´m so nasty) then he asked me for a hug 👀 and oh heck lord knows I couldn´t say YES faster lol frrhfj he gives some quality hugs 10/10 would recommend  👌, I explained him how Cult of Chucky is my fave from the saga since is so fun to watch over and over and it gives so much nostalgia, specially his scenes and stuff, and showed him my Cult of Chucky inspired tattoo I got on my leg (I will post photos soon) and he was so happy and asked me if he could take picture of it XD I was so red faced but how could I say no to this boiii, so now I got to live with the idea that he has a photo of my leg on his phone👀👀👀!! So I picked one of his prints for him to signup for me and asked how my name was spelled, and he told me on a flirty tone a girlfriend he had has was also named Luisa, so i squealed “No XD don´t do this to me, Andy is my crush!!” so we laughed and he got red faced too. So he gave me a last hug and I went my way, wanted to run like a school girl but had to keep my cool 👀!!. Hours later was the Q&A session with him, one complain I had the entire time is that the place was too dark and was hard for me to take pics, I recorded the whole session, and sadly I couldn´t make any question to him, kinda was my fault I waited to the very last minute to raise my hand but oh BOII!  👀 when I did (cause the host announced those were the last 3 questions) Alex stared very flirtatiously and pointed at me! but the guy with the mic was too far away and picked someone else. And naturally that obliterated me  👀 👀 👀. Anyway it was an awesome experience,so those who live up the USA like....try and save money and visit him at his cons up there he is so lovely and totally worth the travel, I had lots of fun!!...... Damn it sorry for the long post!

[journalingdaze]

Changes.

When you're told your new schedule and it doesn't sit right with you, at all, let it be known. Ask if you could change it. Don't be afraid to stand up for your rights.

I understand we all have families and want or need certain days off, but don't use YOUR life as a reason as to WHY I can't have certain days off for MY family time. Yes, it sucks not seeing your daughter for more than 5 minutes, but you also signed up for that role when you became the title you are. That has nothing to do with me. Straight up - stop trying to justify the wrongfulness in the scenario.

Also, don't tell me that the way I came about it isn't "right." Like, we're all entitled to our feelings, and if I disagree, in that moment, I'm going to come at you with how I'm feeling. Doesn't mean it's the right thing to do, but understand, these changes literally just fucked up so many peoples lives and all you see is the anger behind it. It's a lot to take in in a short period of time, and you're expecting everyone to change what they had planned, IF anything, to accommodate this damn company.

Number one, there's not many calls. Number two, 9:30-6:30, really? Number three, no weekends off - ever - UNLESS you find someone who would be willing to change with you. (Not here - NOT HERE) So, I'm fucked. And I don't agree with it at all. Number four, it goes into effect THIS weekend, MEANING I get 1 day off, and now my scheduled days off are Tues-Wed. Nope. Don't agree. And it's unfair to those who get weekends off, at least one day out of it, every weekend, where my "team" is having to surrender to be there on both weekend days. No! Number five, who the fuck is Corina and why hasn't she introduced herself so we know who our TL is? It's a major shit show and it's overflowing.

Please, stop telling me that things are being taken into consideration if you're still seeing certain people there who have done wrongful things. Just, don't. I don't have time to play these games of literally spilling my heart out and providing my feelings to "hope" things change. It's not going to, it's just not.

Don't tell me that in this CC, if you're not on a phone call that your money is going to be deducted from your check. Meaning, your call time is your check. Not your actual "in building" time. Nah. That doesn't sit right with me. It's hourly PLUS commission. It shouldn't be based on how long you're in queue for taking calls. If that's the case, I'm out. I'm done. Because, if I have personal issues to take care of, yet I'm still in that building, you're telling me that I'm not gonna get paid for my time being there because I'm not taking a call? Naaaaaaah.

I've never heard of ANY place ANYwhere that has said, "you're only getting paid for the time you're PHYSICALLY WORKING." But yet, I'm held hostage in a toxic environment for eight hours. SMH. Not one damn job I've had has EVER said that. If you're in that building, you're getting paid. Because! In this case, nobody would just be freeballin', walking around, if they KNEW that the phone calls was their paycheck.

Also, thanks for letting me know that my help is appreciated, but stop doing it. Yeah - let's just keep the frustration happening. Not just with me, but the customers and the agents having to wait on slow ass people to either walk over to you or possibly answer in the Q. Nobody pays attention to detail, so we'll be there all day with no assistance. But, you want me to stop? K, tell me to my face. Thank you. I won't do it anymore. But, it's "appreciated." Again, makes no sense. But OK.

I'm mentally exhausted, emotionally drained, and physically over stepping foot into that damn building, with these dumb and rude people, with these dumb policies and procedures, that don't change anything.

"There's only two people who can terminate someone and their always busy. One is getting pulled everywhere and one is always in a meeting." Okay - so, why can't anyone else write someone up and tell them something? *shrug*

It's not even worth talking about anymore beyond this post, today.

I'm waiting for an interview phone call / text to set one up. And you know what? I'm taking it if I get offered. I'm D. O. N. E. here. Done.

There's never gonna be enough people to make it fully staffed, meaning, no moving up. Everyone is overwhelmed and upset about something that nobody stays. It's an ongoing cycle of people never returning. And, I'm next on that list.

Let's just finish up AT LEAST this week and see how it goes. 🤞 Fingers crossed I get called for that interview ASAP cause once Sunday hits, who knows if I'm gonna agree to the changes.

GTFO & GFY.

[quixotic-writer]

Adult Entertainment (part 2)

request: basically everyone

summary: Sal had made a bold statement saying he could last longer than Q watching porn. They both decide to put those words to the test and placed a bet in typical joker fashion: loser gets punished by the winner.

Warning: Smut ahead!

———————————————————

It had been about a week since their porn escapades that doubled as a steamy night in and they were ready for their next challenge, one that Sal had proposed afterwards: how much could they handle before they came undone untouched?

Rules were worked out between the two: They weren’t allowed to cum for a whole week to up the challenge, their hands were to be restrained the night of, they both would have their own dildo to use for some sort of pleasure (Sal suggested it), they would both throw together a playlist of porn to play for them to watch on the couch together. They would have no clue what videos they put into the playlist for the other so when they finally put themselves to the test, they would each be pleasantly surprised. Bottom line was: first one to cum gets a punishment. Simple and clean cut rules and regulations for another hot night.

Knowing the rules, it didn’t stop them from finding certain loop holes that they both didn’t mind but drove them crazy. There was only two words to describe the excruciating week: Edging and teasing. Sal’s favorite thing to do was to bend over in front of Q, giving him a full show of his ass or “accidentally” grind his ass against Q at any opportunity he could. The farthest he’s gone to torture Q was waking him up with a surprise blow job and pulling away to go and shower once he was close, this was the moment where Q almost lost his mind. As for Sal, Q would start talking dirty to him, sweet nothings serenading him and tantalizing his senses, then he would start rubbing his hands over his bulge and sometimes go as far as to start jerking him off. The moment Sal was close to cumming, he would back away and just leave him in that desperate state and quickly reminded him of the week’s rules. A taste of his own medicine.

By the time the seven days were finally done and over with, they felt so sensitive and as though the mere thought of release would be enough to get them hard and close.

They gathered all their things for the evening in the living room, the screen was already lit up and loaded up with their filthy playlist of porn, the blinds were drawn to a close to hide their dirty shenanigans from wandering eyes, and both men were stripped down to their boxers each sporting a semi hard on.

“How you feeling about this baby?” Q questions to Sal as he helps tie up his arms behind his back.

“Like this is going to be the hardest i’ve cum since my teenage years.” He jokes. His wrists are tightly (but safely) bound behind his back and the sensation of the restraint turns him on. Q helps remove his boxers and sees already how hard Sal is and feels himself twitch at the sight. “You don’t need to prep me by the way, got that bit covered.” Sal gives him a wink and Q felt his soul leave his body, but little did Sal know that Q had a surprise up his own sleeve.

Sal managed to help sloppily and loosely handcuff Q despite his arms being behind his back, he got on his hands and knees and took the band of his boxers between his teeth and gently pulled them down allowing Q to spring to life. When Q turned around to go sit on the couch, Sal felt as though he could’ve unraveled right then and there.

“Brian Quinn you naughty man.” In between the mountains of flesh tucked away was a butt plug that Q had snuck inside of him earlier that day to prep himself.

“Wasn’t used to having something in me, so I took the extra step.” Q reaches for the toy and slowly pulls it out, sad that he feels so empty, but eager knowing something better is to come. “Well Sally boy, time to put your money where your mouth is. Lets see which one of us can last longer.” Q sat himself on a dildo, slowly sinking down relishing in the full sensation of it all with a low hum. Sal joins in next to him with his own toy slowly entering him until he was fully seated with the toy poking at his prostate, making him close his eyes and bite his lip.

They take a moment to catch their breath and stare at the screen with a thumbnail of the video to play with a giant pause symbol over it. They look at each other, then to their tied up arms, then to the remote sitting on the coffee table in front of them.

“Brian Michael Quinn if you do what I think you’re about to do.” All Q does is smile and take his foot and press the play button on the remote with his big toe. Sal looks to him in disgust and makes a mental reminder to sanitize the shit out of the remote after all is said and done.

The first video begins and it was Q’s first pick: A basic vanilla porn, missionary position, minimal action, just something to get the blood pumping. Q sat in his seat and shifted slightly and felt as the toy moved around inside of him, gently grazing that special bundle of nerves, he bit his lip and hummed. Sal was trying to resist all urges to start bouncing on his toy and finally get the release he craved, but he was stubborn enough to hold himself back just to prove a point. Video one was short and over with pretty fast, but it did leave the two standing at full attention and already leaking pre-cum at the tip.

Next was Sal’s choice in video, things were slowly starting to pick up now. It was the same video of that girl riding a guy the first time they had watched porn together a week ago. Memories flooded quickly into Sal’s head that sent shockwaves to his cock and he found himself bouncing a little to release some tension. When his eyes glanced over to Q, he watched as his dick twitched in agony, now was time to play a little dirty.

“Brian, Nothing will ever compare to the way you fucked me hard that night. The way your hard cock slammed into my tight hole and filled me right up, fuck Bri, it drives me mad just thinking about it.” Sal spoke in a sultry seductive tone and watched as Q’s eyes began to haze with lust and his hips began to flick upwards in search of pleasure. He remembered the sensation vividly and recalled the way Sal felt and looked that night, the way he channeled a whole new side of him that was so sexually charged, and the dirty talk. The dirty talk is what turned him on the most, the way Sal described how horny and desperate he was without him. “Seems that you’re thinking about it too, huh? Thinking about slamming into me until i’m a whining mess below you begging to cum because i’ve been teased all week, watching me lose control in your arms and knowing you’re the one that made me unravel.” Sal kept painting such a clear picture for Q and he felt himself getting closer and closer to the euphoria he’s sought for a whole week.

But the realization that he was so close made him stop all his movements. Despite the disappointment and feeling the welling sensation die down in his pelvis, he knew what Sal was trying to play, and he refused to lose for such a pitiful reason, he would prove he had more self control. Q brought himself back down and watched the rest of the video through and knew his next choice was coming up on the queue.

When the video began, Sal’s senses felt heightened and as though his pores were shooting out lightning. Q bit his lip and smirked as he watched Sal begin to frivolously bounce on the couch next to him. Checkmate.

On occasion if the couple was feeling extra daring or knew they’d be apart for a while, they would whip out whoever’s phone was closest and hit record. It was their own personal collection of self made porn that they would indulge in whenever the mood struck them individually. Q had built up quite the collection and often turned to it when his imagination just wasn’t enough to get him off. Now he used it as his personal ammunition, and he knew he was getting exactly what he wanted.

The screen was lit up with the low quality phone footage of Sal bobbing his head up and down on Q’s dick. Filthy wet noises emanating out of Sal as he took Q further and further into his mouth making the man above him a filthy moaning mess.

“Fuck baby, your pretty little mouth feels so good around my cock. Come on now, you can take a little more darling, I know you can.” His voice is smooth and baritone, he speaks softly as a hand comes into frame and tangles into his hair and brings him down more soliciting a few gags from Sal as his nose hit Q’s stomach.

Sal at this point was fucking the toy inside of him like his life depended on it with the video playing fueling him further. He forgot all about the bet, he didn’t care if he lost, he didn’t care what his punishment would be, he wanted one thing now and he was focused on getting it. Q knew at this point he had gotten what he wanted, and all he wanted now was to watch the man he loved unravel before him. He smiled in victory and had already began plotting his special arrangements for Sal once this was all over.

“Sal, please, if you keep that up i’m gonna bust baby.” Sal felt heat rising fast in his abdomen, each time Q’s voice echoes from the TV, he felt it building quicker. His hips bucked in desperation

“Sally baby, are you close?” Sal lets out a whine in response unable to form actual words. It was enough to give Q an answer. “Look at you, getting off watching yourself pleasure me. Sensitive and desperate, so easily submissive to your desires. You’re a dirt little slut for me aren’t you? Do it then Sally baby. Cum for me on the dildo just like you did when you were horny and needy.” And just like that, with mere words and another slam of his hips downward, Sal was sent into blinding ecstasy. His torso going tense as he hunched over at the relieving sensation, hot thick ropes of white shooting out of him hard.

He collapses on his side allowing the toy to slip out of him gasping for breath feeling the energy draining quickly as sweat drips down the temples of his head. Q manages to slip his hands out of the cuffs that were (thankfully loosely wrapped around his wrists and get up off the couch to untie Sal.

“Are you okay? Did that feel good?” Sal, still in a haze smiles and nods and takes a gentle hand to Q’s cheeks and brings him in for a kiss. “Do you think you could handle more?”

“I haven’t cum in a week and i’ve got a lot of pent up energy.” Q’s eyes go dark as he gives his signature devilish grin to the man in his arms.

“Well then, my love. It’s time for your punishment then.”

———————————————————

A/N: I know this is a wee bit shorter than what I normally write ( ; w ; ) I was planning on adding the punishment to this part, but I decided why not make that a whole part in itself.. either that or i’ll come in and edit this to attach that extra bit. I’ve been slightly busy these pst few days but I just wanted to get something on here for my non-wattpad/ao3 users

[suckxrpunched]

"ᴮᵃᵇʸ, ᶦᵗ'ˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵗᵘʳⁿ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ,

ᴬⁿᵈ ʰᵒⁿᵉˢᵗˡʸ ᵗʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ᶠᶦⁿᵉ,

ᴬⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ'ˢ ⁿᵒᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᶠᵒʳᵍᶦᵛᵉ,

ᴵ'ᵐ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶠᵘᶜᵏˢ ᵗᵒ ᵍᶦᵛᵉ;"

[imagine-fe]

CHRISTMAS ALPHABET

A: ANTICIPATION how excited are they for their presents? do they spend the whole afternoon trying to catch a peak of them or do they not particularly care?

B: BOOK do they enjoy reading christmas stories? would they read them out loud if asked to?

C: CAROL do they like singing? do they prefer to do it by themselves or with others?

D: DECORATION how much do they enjoy decorating? are they the ones getting dragged into it or dragging others into it?

E: EXCHANGE do they like giving gifts? who do they give them to?

F: FESTIVE how much do they enjoy christmas itself? are they the type who starts getting fired up months prior? the type who dreads everything about it?

G: GRATITUDE do they use this season to especially express their gratitude to people? if so, how?

H: HOLY do they see christmas as a religious holiday? as a time to be with their family and show special care to the people around them? or just an excuse for people to spend money, or dont care about it at all?

I: INCENSE is there any smell they particularly associate with christmas? what kind of feelings does it inspire in them?

J: JOY what is the happiest memory they connect to christmas season?

K: KRAMPUS would they actually hand out the traditional “punishments” if they felt someone deserves it? just do it as a joke? are they the type to tell scary stories about christmas, either for amusement or to make sure children will behave?

L: LASTING how important is christmas to them? will they think back on it for months to come or forget and move on the next day?

M: MEAL what’s their favourite food to eat for christmas? do they like to prepare it themselves?

N: NUISANCE what do they hate most about christmas season? is there something that’s enough to kill all holiday cheer for them immediately?

O: OPEN how do they unwrap their gift? hurriedly ripping wrapping paper apart, or rather slow and careful?

P: PRESENT do they give hand-made presents or do they prefer to buy them? how long do they take to select them and how good are they at choosing ones people will like?

Q: QUEUE how do they deal with the seasonal stress, how do they react? or do they prepare long in advance to avoid it?

R: RITUAL do they have any special customs for christmas? do they change throughout their life or depending who they’re with?

S: SNOW how attached are they to the idea of a white christmas? do they enjoy going out to play in the snow?

T: TOGETHER who do they celebrate their christmas with? friends, family, their s/o? or do they prefer to be spend it alone?

U: UNITY is there anything about the way they celebrate christmas that’s unique to them, their family or their country?

V: VACATION do they visit any special places during the advent, for christmas or the christmas holidays? if so, where, why and with whom?

W: WARMTH where do they like to spend their christmas? at home, in front of the fireplace? at a square, together with many other people? something completely different?

X: XYLOPHONE do they play an instrument? if so, are they willing to play christmas songs during the celebration? would they hold a little “concert” or rather accompany the singing?

Y: YULE what do they associate with “christmas”? what’s most important to them?

Z: ZONE do they enjoy going to the christmas market? why or why not?

so i... REALLY like christmas. this is the first time ive ever made sth like this by myself, much less an alphabet one and just. finding sth to match every letter was SUPER tough (hence some being a bit same-y and super specific, sorry about that) and i dont think ill ever do it again,,,,

ANYWAY requests for these are open, though youre obviously free to send in general requests or christmas-themed requests of your choosing anytime!

youre welcome to send as many asks as you like, but please keep it to 2-3 letters per ask; the 1 character per ask rule applies here, too.

hopefully ill have the opportunity to get some christmas asks done in time so i can start publishing them from the 1st advent on, but obvs that also depends on what i get. if i get enough of these requests ill try to get one out every day as some sort of small advent calendar.

have fun!

[head-like-a-steel-trap]

COUNTERFEIT (February 2020)

So I went on a tour this February to follow one of my favourite bands, Counterfeit, across the UK. They were opening for a band called Palaye Royale which I didn’t know before. It all started in Manchester at the O2 Ritz on 19 Feb 2020. It was a rainy Wednesday and I decided to take an early train there. I met up with my friend Angelica, whom I knew from the previous tour in December, and her friend Federica. They are both Italian. We booked a hotel room together close to the venue. We met up there, got ready for the show and waited until it was time to go to the VIP Meet&Greet with the band. The weather was horrible, so we were freezing outside for a solid half an hour, during which we saw Jamie and his brother Sam smoking outside. Then we were let in and I got to talk to Craig, the tour manager, who’s a sweetheart and at the point my favourite “member” of the band. He gave us posters and then he brought the band in. We all set down on the floor and did a Q&A. I asked about the meaning of 11:44’s title. Apparently it’s just the time they wrote the song! Simple as that.

Then we took pictures with the band and Craig let us stay inside the venue. I bought myself a hoodie from the merch stand and we decided to stand close to the stage from that point on. We got a nice 4th row right in the middle of the stage. We waited a bit and then Charming Liars started playing. They weren’t too bad. Then finally Counterfeit came on and the whole crowd got excited, cause they really know how to put on a good show. They played Paralyzed, Getting Over It, Alive, Lack of Oxygen, The New Insane, 11:44 and It Gets Better. New Insane was absolutely mental and Jamie jumped into the crowd during 11:44 and somehow ended up in front of me, so we got to sing it together. The show ended and I decided to buy another VIP ticket on the spot for London. I only had a GA for that show. We decided to stay for a couple of songs of Palaye Royale, when we saw Tristan, the Counterfeit guitarist, on the balcony. We went up there and as we were on our way to him I noticed Roland, another guitarist, and Jimmy, the drummer, standing right next to us. We decided to play it cool, because they had their girlfriends with them. So we watched another song or two from the balcony not looking at them. I turned around and suddenly Jamie and Sam are right behind us talking to the other guys. Surreal. Once again, we didn’t approach as we didn’t want to disturb them. Soon after Jamie and Sam left and we decided to go too. Angelica wanted to go out for a smoke and lo and behold, Jamie and Sam are in the smoking area talking to three German fans. We joined the conversation and spent a while talking to them, which was super lovely. Then we went back to the hotel.

The second concert I went to was in London at the O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire. It was Sam’s birthday. Angelica lives in London, New Malden so I spent three nights at her place. 2 out of the 3 nights Miriam, another Italian fan, also slept at Angelica’s and we all went to the show where we met again with Federica and the German fans. We got to the venue an hour before the M&G. They let us in and we saw Counterfeit sound checking Paralyzed. Then we went to this other room and as the band went in we all started singing Happy Birthday to Sam and they german fans brought him a cake. We did the Q&A again, but I didn’t ask anything this time. We went to Sam immediately after the Q&A to give him a present we bought him the day before in Camden Town - a silver guitar pick customized with his name on it and the number 26 - it was his 26th birthday. We took a picture and I asked for a funny face, but only Sam tried to do one. Jamie on the other hand smiled, which he never does in pictures. We call it his “Statue” face. They told us that we need to go outside of the venue again and join the normal queue. We managed to sneak in the O2 Priority lane, through a guy who brought us with him. They let us in at 7pm and we listened, once again, to the Charming Liars. Then Counterfeit came on and things got pretty rough. People were pushing so much. They did the same setlist as the night in Manchester. Jamie went into the crowd during 11:44 and I was really close, but not necessarily in front of him. When the show ended we hung around for a couple of Palaye Royale songs and went once again for a smoke hoping to meet the band outside. Angelica pointed out an older man standing about 30 meters away from us. It was Jamie and Sam’s dad. Soon after Sam appeared and hugged his dad and they both waited for Jamie who came out soon after. They all got into a car and we saw that their mum was inside and Sam’s girlfriend too. They all left, probably to go celebrate Sam’s birthday. We went back in for more songs and then decided to walk through central london before going back to Angelica’s.

The day before the last gig we got an email that the show in Birmingham was cancelled and so w naturally freaked out. After 4 hours of absolute mayhem, Counterfeit managed to secure another venue for themselves and they organized a free show for us, Counterfeit fans, at Mama Roux’s in Birmingham the next day. We were super excited, because we would get more songs. Basically a full setlist not just the shortened version as when they were just opening. We got to the venue in time and met Craig outside and talked to him for a bit. He then let us in, gave us free stickers and took us upstairs. I was hella nervous because I had and important question for the band. They came in, introduced themselves and I was the first one to raise a hand. “Hey, so in Manchester and London you talked about fear and anxiety a lot. How do you deal with it? Do you have any tips? Cause I’ve been struggling with it a lot recently.” and I expected just a short answer, what I got instead was a 10 minutes long answer from Jamie. He was looking at me the whole time and basically just talking to me about his experience and what he does to make it better. That made me super emotional and grateful. The Q&A’s are usually 20 minutes, so that means he spent literally half of it just talking to me. Then it was time to take the picture. I walked over to them and thanked them for answering my question in such a detail. I asked for a hug and they all hugged me, but especially Jamie - he squeezed me super tight. I stood in the middle and suddenly I hear Jamie’s voice “Do you want some chocolate?” which totally took me by surprise and I just looked at him and said:”uhhh, ok, I guess yeah. Thank you.” He turned around and reached for a box or chocolates, took one out and gave it to me. I said goodbye and went outside of the room. Sat on the stairs and started crying super hardcore. People were looking at me, but i didn’t care. We will get a refund for the cancelled Palaye Royale show, so we asked if we can give the money to Counterfeit. Craig told us that they weren’t taking donations but if we bought a shirt that the money would go to the band so I bought myself one. Talked to Craig and complimented him on his rings. He said that they are to remind him of his cat. Then we had to go out for a short while, but we were let back in very soon. I got the first row right in front of the mic, basically the best spot in the venue. There were only about 50 fans at the venue so it was super intimate. And i stood next to Leah, a girl which I met in Leeds on the last tour. Thee were 3 opening bands: Y!KES, The Uma and Lizzy Farrall. They were great. I took a selfie with Y!KEs’ drummer. He was super cute. Then finally Counterfeit went on stage. I was right in front of Jamie, literally 20 cm from him the whole show. We made long eye contact so many times and he was super happy during the show. They even did a twenty one pilots cover. They went into the crowd multiple times and played some old songs as well as the new ones from the unreleased record. The energy in the room was amazing. When the show finished, me and Leah hugged for a long time, crying and holding each other. Then I did the same with Angelica. We went outside and Jamie was there. He was talking to one of the german fans so we joined in and spoke to him for good 30 minutes. He said goodbye and went back into the venue, but he told us to wait, because the rest of the band would go see us too. Sam showed up shortly afterwards and we made jokes about how tall everyone in the band is and how short me and my friends were. I complimented him on his coat and he said he thrifted it for only £3. We said goodbye and waited a bit more. Saw Roland and Tristan loading the van with equipment and talked to Jimmy for a while, hugged him and went back to out hotel. I have so much respect and love for these boys. They are such nice, genuine and humble people. I miss them already, xx.

[isitandwonder]

Okay, because some people asked, here is my totally subjective and way too long story of the Beautiful Boy premiere at LFF, hoorray!

I got rambling so if you are interested read below the cut.

I attended with @natures-cunning-ways (who kindly got me a ticket), @stakemyentirelifeondreams @lovetheawesomeness @raraadsel and @redtulipslove - you were all amazing, ladies!

As it was my first red carpet event ever, I’m so grateful to @raraadsel and @redtulipslove who tried to get in touch with the BFI to find out about the proceedings. I didn’t even now there were proceedings, I just thought one turns up there with a ticket and Bob’s your uncle. Ha, I’m so naive!

No, to get into the pen (I learned a new word) at the red carpet you needed wristbands - which @raraadsel and @redtulipslove kindly organized on Saturday morning. But sadly they couldn’t get them for everyone, so I had none. Well, I didn’t think that a problem because then I would just stand behind the barrier... hahaha!

When we arrived at Leicester Square at about 3 pm we were send into the little park in the middle by one of the security guys.

There, we met a bunch of lovely Italian fans ( @thecosmicfragment90 and friends). It was so good meeting you, guys! Seriously, I was absolutely overwhelmed. Thank you for all your kind words!!! You were amazing.

But no one there knew what would happen until a lady started to shout numbers. Apparently the numbers on the wristbands. Who that lady was - no idea. But as we were in England people started queueing up. I stayed with my group, just chatting. After a while, cohorts of about twenty people were kinda let into the pen. I say kinda because it wasn’t really clear where to get in. Anyway, I just kept on walking, let the security guy search my bag - and in I was. The perk of being a respectable looking middle aged woman? Who knows.

Then the waiting began. But we had so much fun! Everyone in there was just nice and friendly. We started talking to fellow fans. @redtulipslove found her new calling in being a freelance BFI PR agent, giving information about the film and the actors to passers-by who asked. A scientifically conducted survey revealed that only 2 out of 10 people knew who Timmy was... even the security guys send people over to her to explain what was happening. You really should apply for a job with the BFI!

We met so many incredible people there: For example a girl who had never heard of Timmy but was there for Steve and was in tears for just being there and getting the chance to see him. Or Sara, an American exchange student who happened to walk by with a group of friends and asked who was coming. When she heard Timmy she almost started crying as well and told us that CMBYN had changed her life. She decided to stay but sadly security wouldn’t let her into the pen. She tried to stay behind the barrier but they were told to keep walking as not to block the square for pedestrians. In the end, I said I would try to get Tim’s autograph for her. That’s why I didn’t take any pictures when he arrived, I couldn’t hold the book and a camera... sadly, it didn’t work out. So sorry, Sara!

But now I was glad I smuggled myself into that pen. Otherwise, I would have been separated from my group and would have ahd to stand somewhere really far away...

Okay, so we were chatting, joking, killing time when at about 4:45 people started arriving. The first I recognized was Felix, who came up to where we were standing and signed stuff. Then Steve arrived and the screaming started. He posed for the photographers and also started signing.

And then that floral beauty arrived.

By that time, there had been more barricades set up down the square. People were everywhere. And suddenly, security opened the barricades behind us - which they had so sternly guarded before - to anyone. I heard a lady behind me inside that pen, where I had waited for 2 hours and others since the morning, ask: “Who’s that boy?” She didn’t even know Tim but was now in the pen, while a girl who’s life had been changed by his performance was forced to stand somewhere in the square, unable to reach out to him...

And then the hyenas descendet. Not fellow fans, but professional autograph hunters - easily recognizable because of the piles of perfect photographs they carried for Tim to sign. Piles! They just started crushing into us. All men, btw, shouting and shoving. I elbowed one away and he looked at me as if I had grown a second head. I hate these people, who make money with other people’s obsessions. They just want to sell the autographs on ebay. Fuck you! There’s a special place in hell for people like you, I’m sure.

By that time, Timmy had spent so much time signing somewhere down the barricades that he ran out of time on the red carpet. He came near but then had to walk over to the press. And as we had tickets for the film and had been told to be inside the cinema by 5:45, we had to get out of the pen.

But we walked the red carpet right behind where he stood giving interviews!

I heard later that he went over to the fans again after doing press and signed more things and took pics. And that he handed out cinema tickets! What a gem.

From what I saw of him when he came near - he looks exactly like in all those pics for real. He’s just incredibly nice and friendly. Goofy. I mean, all that running and turning on the red carpet... But he also seems relaxed, normal. Not ‘glamorous’ - just an approachable nice guy. I wasn’t even nervous. I thought I would be shaking but it was just all relaxed. From what I saw and heard, everyone was respectful (apart from those autograph fuckers). He looked well-rested as if he’d slept (yep, that were our biggest concerns: Did he sleep? Did he eat?)

Inside the cinema, shortly before the film started, Tim, Steve, Felix and the producers and writer came on stage and answered a question each, asked by the festival’s president (sadly not Nic and David Sheff who were there as well). Timmy really stood out in his flower suit between all the other men dressed in grey and blue and brown... it’s so good that he just goes for it!

To me, it seemed that Steve got more applause, maybe because he’s still better known than Timmy. I just remember him saying that he loved working with Tim, that it felt like Timmy was his son.

Then they left and the film started. I was told later that they were driven off to attend some other function (maybe another Q&A and then the Inheritance premiere party?).

I’ll write about the film in a seperate post. But it is really, really good, so much better than I thought. I really didn’t have any expectations after the trailers and some reviews - but it turned out to be very special, at least to me.

Afterwards, on our way out, we met the lovely Italian fans again who told us what Timmy did outside and that he had left. I really hope you guys enjoyed the movie! For anyone who wants to get Timmy’s attention, it seems to be a good idea to tell him you came all the way from Crema (thank you for the inspiration, Stephano!)

When we eventually got out, the red carpet was gone. Leicester Square looked like it always does, bustling with people. I might have dreamed everything but thank god the others assured me that the afternoon did happen.

So, that was that. If you want to see pics, @albionknight took good ones from near where we stood. It was an amazing experience - seeing Tim in the flesh, meeting fellow fans, the movie, London... I’m so glad I did it. Thanks to everyone who made this possible!!!

If you have any questions, just ask... not that I remember much, writing this down shows me that I probably forgot many things (for example what Tim said before the movie started...)

Tagging @beyondbakerstreet @ladyblakeney25 @tequilatuesdays4all @backofthepostcard @missmuffin221 @mylastvow @yvaine24 @maraskolnikova @wannaseeamonkey @mysteryofcharmie because you asked :)

[andimthedad]

Road Trip: Westward Day 3: Walking tons, DC

This summer, the kids and I embarked on a 10,000-mile cross-country road trip from Washington to Maine and back. Along the way, we got a brief taste of America through landmarks and sights that represent our nation, for better or worse.

Read notes from every day of the trip:

Eastward: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Westward: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.

And various posts from the FAQ.

For some reason, Tumblr posted these out of proper queue order.

–

Washington, DC

We had an entire day to spend in DC. Our hotel was less than 20 minutes from the White House, which is a good place to start a walking tour of key sights.

Rang the doorbell. Nobody home. Took a picture anyway.

We passed the Treasury Department as we walked around the White House:

“What do they do?” asked Beth, age 11.

“They manage all the government’s money,” I said. “They oversee printing it, collecting it, and so on. It’s like a bank.”

“So that building is full of money?” she asked.

“Nah,” I said. “It’s full of numbers.”

Our next stop was the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. It remains a moving tribute to these veterans. 

One arm of the Memorial points to the Washington Monument. The other arm points to the Lincoln Memorial.

While we were there, someone made a rubbing of one of the etched names.

I remember when the Vietnam Veterans Memorial was built in the early 1980s. It was designed by Maya Lin, an Asian-American undergraduate student, and selected by a committee from over a thousand submitted designs. The design was meant to symbolize a wound in the earth that needed healing, or that had become a scar, but it was very nontraditional and a lot of people didn’t like it.

“Why on earth would anyone have a problem with this?” asked Beth. “It has a cool meaning.”

I shrugged. “People wanted a traditional statue memorial,” I said, “so they added one of those too. I’ll show you.”

“After all the complaints, the committee in charge of the memorial commissioned this statue of three soldiers,” I said. “I think they hired the guy who came in second or third in the submissions contest.”

“How many people come to see these guys?” asked Luke, age 14.

“Not as many,” I said. “The wall is much more powerful and meaningful.”

We proceeded to the Lincoln Memorial.

This statue is 19 feet tall and always serious. 

Despite providing shade, the Memorial remains open-air, and it’s still pretty hot.  Minor practical note: the tiny gift shop off to the side has air conditioning.

From the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, you get a great view across the Reflecting Pool, to the World War 2 memorial at the other end of the pool and the Washington Monument in the distance.

Walking down to the other end of the pool, you then get the reverse view.

Did I mention it was sweltering crazy hot and humid that day? We had to buy Italian ices just to survive.

The National World War II Memorial is at the other end of the pool. I didn’t get a good picture of the entire structure, but here’s one from Wikimedia:

The water is relatively cool for dipping your toes into.

Next was the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. One of their current special exhibits — free, in fact, if you just want to duck into the basement — is “Americans and the Holocaust.” It presents a multifaceted view of how America reacted to World War 2, Nazis, Hitler, Jews, and more. For example, the kids pointed out display with a couple of public polls taken in 1938:

Q: Do you approve or disapprove of the Nazi treatment of Jews in Germany? – 94% disapprove – 6% approve

Q: Should we allow a larger number of Jewish exiles from Germany to come to the United States to live? – 71% no – 21% yes – 8% no opinion

In other words: Americans overwhelming condemned the suffering of the Jews under the Nazis, but we also didn’t want to help the Jews escape it. 

Among various period newsreels playing, famous aviator Charles Lindbergh was recorded giving an “America First” speech on September 11, 1941, against the U.S. joining the war against the Nazis. He said the Jews were “agitating for war” against Hitler. Although it was “understandable” from their perspective, Lindbergh said those reasons were “not American.”

The exhibit also showed a clip from Charlie Chaplin’s 1940 movie, The Great Dictator, which he wrote and funded explicitly to criticize Hitler. Chaplin is mostly famous for his silent films, but this was his first “talking” movie. In it, he plays both a crazed Hitler-like dictator and a poor Jewish business owner who, by coincidence, look exactly alike. At the end, the Jew has to play the role of the dictator, and gives this surprisingly moving speech:

The Holocaust Museum also discussed the Japanese internment camps, in which the U.S. rounded up over 100,000 people of Japanese descent and “relocated” them into what some people have called concentration camps. The vast majority of these people lost their homes and businesses during this time. Apparently, after one Japanese internee was told they were put in the camps for their own protection, he responded, “If we were put there for our protection, why were the guns at the guard towers pointed inward, instead of outward?”

Next was the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum. This is one of the few museums I remember visiting when I was a kid. There’s a lot of history there, like the Wright Brothers’ first airplane:

Charles Lindbergh’s Spirit of St. Louis, in which he completed the world’s first solo transatlantic flight. And we had just encountered his "America First” efforts at the Holocaust Museum.

The Apollo Lunar Module LM-2 was meant as a backup to the first lunar module, but was never used except for ground practice:

SpaceShipOne, the first privately-owned spacecraft to actually make it to space:

“You have to understand something,” I said. “There are 20 Smithsonian museums and a zoo. We are really only seeing one. And there are a ton of other non-Smithsonian museums in DC. So, like pretty much every other place we’ve gone, we could spend a week or more here.”

We did walk past the Smithsonian’s modern art museum, the Hirshhorn. You can’t miss the car parked out front with a rock:

It’s “Still Life with Spirit and Xitle” by Jimmie Durham, and yes, the face is part of the art.

We then walked over the Museum of the Bible, a non-Smithsonian museum funded by the owner of Hobby Lobby and launched with some minor controversy. We were impressed with the multimedia presentations of the Stories of the Bible.

Beth asked, “What did you think of that?” — referring to the Museum of the Bible.

“I feel like they left a lot of things out of their presentation of the Old Testament,” I said.

“Did they say something wrong?” asked Luke.

“It’s more like… they deliberately left things out so people wouldn’t be confused by the complexity of Scripture.”

“That color-changing room was pretty cool, though,” said Luke.

“Yeah, I can’t remember what it was supposed to mean,” said Beth. “But I remember the room!”

By this time we were all really tired, and decided to Uber back to the hotel. We would get to the Capitol Building the next day.

–

Unless noted otherwise, all photos and videos are taken by the kids and I, and are shared under the Creative Commons BY-NC-SA license.

[figula]

feeling a bit low and crappy today

think i need to change things up a bit - found myself researching postgrade stuff tonight but it’s really not feasible at this point t b q h.

i think so much of this ennui comes from hating my job when it’s commission-heavy, which it currently is, bc it’s so goddamn time-consuming and nitpicky. like - ‘can we go slightly darker with this colour?’ 3 times, which takes hours, and when i just make stock items and sell them obviously you don’t get that issue b/c you buy what you see. i think i will close the shop for a bit to catch up, and then start selling stock only again. i did clear the queue for christmas so it’s not too bad atm but i took on a lot of commissions in jan bc i’m so damn poor bc the last few months were terrible shop-wise (the end of the year is alway shit bc no one buys my stuf ffor gifts, it’s not that kind of item, and you’re not spending much money on yourself in december. my work isn’t cheap either, altho still cheaper than it should be honestlyyyyyyyy) but yeah: commisisons take 3 times as long as a regular stock wig but i don’t chage 3 times as much, bc no one would fuckin buy them. so i lose out on a lot by doing it this way, and i don’t WANT TO do it this way, and i am planning on NOT doing it this way as soon as i can

i think joining the chess club has rejuvenated me a bit tho, it’s really nice to socialise outside of ben and ana even if they are all old men & one weirdo guy in his 20s, and it is obviously something that uses my brain, which is nice, and its a good outlet for my inherent competitiveness

also it shows how far i’ve come wrt my OCD-type anxieties bc i used to be so terrified to be out of the house for long periods of time - i still kind of am terrified to be OUTSIDE for long periods of time lul - but i went to the chess club for the first time w/ mild nerves (i mean, most people would be nervous i think) but mostly excitement, which i think is super healthy and i’m pleased about it. no fear about talking to new people, no fear about socialising etc. again that’s not something that’s been a huge issue in my life, but it has always suffered bc of OCD nonsense but it’s nice that i started a new thing w/o it being ruined by mental illness

anyway

totally pointless post but 

[dwestfieldblog]

DOOMSCROLLING

Rocking and doomscrolling in an Eigenstate, the English Variant is here...All virtue signalling wannabe edgelords,  sleepwalking ’woke’ automatons, fake Christians, Faustian Republicans, corrupt Conservatives and retarding neophobes look away now. Little more than domesticated primates, a majority of larval humanity continues to ignore its astral biology...yes really. ‘Those who control symbols control us’.  And Pavlov dogs do love flags eh? Here is a balanced, mostly unpretentious finite rant for breakfast where the opinion arises from triple checked facts rather than mere emotion.  In God we rust.

Straight off...Disgusted to rage by the English government’s March budget which gives  nurses a ‘pay rise’ equivalent to three pounds fifty pence a week, (which doesn’t even begin to cover the cost of their parking at hospitals) the disdain these arrogant swine feel for truly essential workers is revealed in full. The ‘Heath’ minister explained that times were tight due to Covid...yes Matt, fairly sure the nurses working 18 hours a day had already noticed this in their desperately overworked, overcrowded hospitals. Deeply in debt, Britain plans to borrow 355 billion pounds this year, the highest amount in her history. Corporation tax will possibly increase in 2023, a little late to balance wages elsewhere for nurses etc...And given the previous ten years, highly unlikely it would even be used for such. But it might look good to those brainwashed gimps that STILL plan to vote for this bastardly corrupt party in 2024.

A clip taken in March of an exceptionally long queue for a food bank in London brings it all into sharper focus. The 6th richest economy in the world has the most food banks of any democratic country. Over 2000 in the UK. (Over 900 in Germany.) Hate to come across as a Socialist but The Tories have been in power for ten long years, historically destroying the NHS a bit more each time they hold power. Endlessly subcontracting, pouring money into new unneeded tiers of management, slowing operations down with extra paperwork, voting down pay rises, thus expediting a brain drain of doctors, nurses and surgeons to other countries and private practices...and over the last thirteen months, supplying those who stayed, with mountains of  PPE equipment not fit for purpose. A ‘jolly good show’ handclap every evening on doorsteps doesn’t fecking cut it. Neither do all the rainbows drawn by children put into windows. In fact, Boris, it looks like outright damn cynicism. All the more since your dose of the virus (‘I visited the Covid ward and shook hands with everyone’) was healed by excellent work by the NHS. Mr. Boris ‘No government could have done more’. Johnson...a lot of us are keeping score.

Lord Bethell, (‘Parliamentary under secretary of State for Innovation at the Department of Health and Social Care’) said that nurses are ‘well paid’ for the job they do, reiterating that times are hard; ‘There are millions of people out of work on the back of this epidemic’. Well yes there are. And why? A government which dragged its heels many times after salient scientific advice, prognoses/ projections were given, and allowed three massive social gatherings (384,000 people) to take place for superspreading, as well as conflicting advice about masks, herd immunity and confusion over open borders, schools to return for one day, etc...All of which led to the dire need for total lockdowns and the impossibility to sell or go to work (unless working from home) leading in turn to unpaid rent/bills, evictions, bosses laying off those they cannot afford to pay. And to mention again, the Tories have been the ones in power for ten years...with banking scandals (where chiefs were not punished but the public were twice, once by collapses and once for raised taxes to prop up the greed). The expenses scandal of politicians, massive public service cutbacks, corruption, the smug George Osbourne guiding Britain disgracefully to poverty via austerity, a National Health service being encouraged to disintegrate and’ an oven ready’/tramps breakfast scraps Brexit...and LO!... the coffers are indeed a little empty thanks to all the contracts tossed without oversight to the governments mates without due process, including 37 billion pounds spent on a Test and Trace programme which did not function, 252 million AND 6000 pounds a DAY to ‘consultants (for the essential chimera of PR etc).Chumocracy at highly profitable work.

Over to you Boris, ‘...it is thanks to PRUDENT FISCAL MANGEMENT that we have been able to fight this pandemic in the way that we have.’

Well exactly.

A dishevelled adult leader of a country who cannot even brush his hair or dress himself, a ‘leader’ who missed five vital COBRA meetings about the pandemic, never took in the notes from scientists of advance warnings and blustered his pompous comedy horseshite rather than leading from the front. Father of six or perhaps 7 illegitimate children (does he pay child support? No records). But never mind eh, he is a rum sort of cove. No. Churchill would have him horsewhipped naked and tarred and feathered in Trafalgar Square. But still! When questioned on whether there would be an inquiry into the colossal waste without recompense or standard clauses in contracts of taxpayers’ money raped from the Treasury, Mr Johnson replied that it was ‘NOT IN THE PUBLIC INTEREST’. Really. REALLY? Boris, if you were a catheter, you could not extract more urine than you already do. The clown father of the motherland. BJ said he took ‘full responsibility’ for the massive number of fatalities. But hasn’t resigned.127 thousand covid deaths in UK, leading Europe by 33 thousand.  Well played chaps. 545 thousand USA. China 4636. Yeah RIGHT. Sure.

Once knew a guy who, if you told him something factual, most often replied with ‘Well, it’s the first I’ve heard of it’...meaning anything he had not already been told was automatically false. How did he ever learn new information? Neophobes, their insecurities heavy chains to evolving, seem to rule the world; Good news is they don’t. Bad news is, they know it and are getting ever more desperate the rest of us go down with them in righteous conservatism and counter evolution. ‘Perception does not consist of passive reception of signals but of an active interpretation of signals...active, creative trans-actions’...‘The easier you can predict a message, the less information the message contains’. If a media source etc attempt to relay actual news and it does not fit what is already believed, it is disregarded or worse...GIGO...Garbage In=Garbage Out.

The pandemic is doing great things for the further global rise of populist swine...When the mass public mind is aflame with anger and fear, new bastards step up and old governments impose harder laws. Hungary loses her last independent radio station and Orban rejoices. Brazilian bastid Bolsanaro continues to see his people as expendable inhuman statistics. By their hatred he will burn. 301 thousand dead. Totalitarianism creeps apace via populist chancers, Stalinist fascists, nationalist bullshitters who care far more about their ego than their country. (Hello frog eyed Nigel Farage aka Lord Haw Haw the 2nd.) Speaking of which...Lord Mayor of London wannabe Laurence Fox bought a mask exemption badge online because he didn’t want his pretty face to be unrecognised. Narcissist, who as leader of a new party Reclaim, wants to ‘take back’ Britain from the Woke snowflakes (even while speaking like a laidback Establishment version of them) and end up in Parliament. Good for you luvvie. But now with acting career ended and music career failed, he does look a lot like a pretty poster boy who needs to stay adored and recognises (along with his string pulling financial backers) there is a bandwagon to be jumped on. In 8 years time he (or someone similar in insecure need for others approval to give vent to their sadistic impulses) could be a new type of prime minister and the V for Vendetta pre-scenario will be in full swing. ‘Politicians should wear sponsor jackets like Nascar drivers, then we know who owns them’ Robin Williams via Jonathan Pie. No one from Texas should be allowed to be president...and no one from Eton (or Harrow) should ever be allowed to be Prime Minister. Apart from Churchill.

Sometimes it takes a nightmare to wake one up...an authoritarian dystopia coming soon to a land mass near you...a failed state and a divided kingdom of Mediocre Britain with bad laws for her citizens but great if you are a ‘public servant’ or a friend of those that are. Probably a good thing for Euope that we are an island eh? We turned our back on them and they can cast us adrift like an oil tanker filled with toxic waste. Sunak or Patel next? Will the ‘Elite’ (Ha) allow a person of colour to rise to the depths of Prime Minister? The entire cabinet should be sent to a Chinese prison. Avaricious liars. If you don’t stir the cream it turns into scum.

And speaking of destroying your country from inside....

Oh America... just watched the Idaho mask burning clip in Boise, adults encouraging children to pick up discarded masks, pathogens, all with bare hands and drop into the garbage bin flames...inhaling the formaldehyde smoke... Freedom! End lockdown now! Breathe deeply rednecks. So looking forward to having a black woman president over there. Please be better than all these useless white trash MORONS...Q Onan, the ‘storm’ (in a beer can), the ‘plan’, ‘where we go one, we go all’...right down the toilet of history into the sewers of oblivion. Good riddance to foul rubbish, Believers anxious for orders from ‘Christians’ who are actually serving what they would call ‘Satan’. Ironic on the darkest level, no? LOOK at their faces, into their eyes, naught but greed for power. Two thousand years of inverted truths. ‘Religion’ became consumed by ‘the Devil’. Discuss with yourself after watching the majority of preachers.

The Trumps, Hawley, Cruz, Lindsey Graham, Bannon, the Mercers, Paula White, Stella Immanuel and the Gawd awful Marjorie Taylor Greene should be sent alone, foodless to a small island surrounded by sharks. And filmed for our entertainment. And oh...that dumbass disgusting false idol kitsch gold statue (to celebrate his love of golden rain) of Donald, created via Mexico and China in artistic irony. And, and AND the Republican senators against any background checks for those who want to own guns. (Seven mass killings this year already by armed wankers.) Britain, Europe and America, unions encouraged, persuaded to break apart into hexagram 23 while China and Russia grin. Q seems like a new form of right wing bullshite to rally the dumb against what they perceive to be the ‘left wing’ rebellion of Anonymous. I think Q originated in the Kremlin myself. An electronic baobab seed...

Back to my birthland...New powers of arrest looming for ‘Non Crime Hate Incidents’, and a new police bill of up to ten years prison for silent protest. One almost expects this in (arf) lesser countries with pantomime dictators, but on the septic, excuse me, sceptre’d isle of Britain? An obvious Government first shot reaction against what they know might be coming for their dire mishandling of the pandemic, loss of jobs and no real support for the underlings...Governments ARE afraid of their people, that’s why enough laws are passed (with minimum debate or under cover of smokescreen news events) to ensure all those not wealthy and well connected are in daily risk of being arrested for ‘criminality’. So be sure to be obedient to your ‘public servants’.

Ahh.. enough eh? Apolitically incorrect, radical liberal, fundamentalist atheist, remember the Tar Baby idea Dave, the more you attack something, the more you are attached to it. Let it go brother. The difference between being frozen in stasis and empty with Zen calm. But to paraphrase Robert Anton Wilson, (as I am so often wont to do) thanks to our own programming, when we do not frequently examine and cross check our input we become full of Self Hypnotic Ideational Trance. Dogmas must be only transitory, flow river, flow...

Bells Theorem? Pretty good but this is mostly Jameson’s (with Czech spring water) theorem. In confession, I crave your indulgence, Invoke Often, Repeat repeat repeat, ‘How far is it, if you can think of it?’ Transduction of thoughts into chemicals...surfing the neuropeptides and there you stood on the edge of your feather expecting to die, A skeleton breastfeeding a priest, and if that mocking bird don’t sing, daddy’s gonna break off both its wings. Whoops. The optical illusion of a rainbow halo as beautiful as ‘God on drugs’.  Melancholy melophile, melomaniac and melomaniacal, I am an Audiophile in the paralysis of rapture...Ahh...and now I have obtained an elegant sufficiency, multitasking in five time zones. Left frontal lobe digital (manual) moving to Right frontal lobe analogue non Aristotelian (self controlled). Get it? DNA appears to be a cybernetics information/programming system...but anyway...

Bet there will be a massive increase in the birth rate nine months after most of the world is vaccinated, a surge of relieved masses celebrating in the old fashioned way. All those who died will be ‘replaced’ at double pumping speed. The idea that the vaccine contains the ‘Establishment’s’ nanobots seems unlikely...how on Earth would at least ONE person in the know, not spill the (genetically modified) beans? And those wondrous illogical conspiracy theories that Covid was triggered deliberately via 5G mast networks by a satanic paedophile elite will fade for a while. Until the ‘Christian’evangelical (evil angels) right wing restart their crazed rambling about the Illuminati/Freemasons again. For the record, my own feeling is that any group which had Leonardo da Vinci, Goethe, Beethoven, Sir Issac Newton, Washington, Mark Twain, Churchill, Oscar Wilde, Jefferson etc as members, seems like a fairly cool and worthwhile group for humanity to learn from. Is it because Lucifer was the Light Bringer that they conflate illumination with evil? How very aware of them. Arf. Paranoid magicians live longer. Speaking of witch...’Nothing is, nothing becomes, nothing is not’. A.C. The Book of Lies. Be aware, not woke. Look for the hunchback (?) behind the soldier (!)...‘You can empty infinity from it and infinity still remains’.

‘The data may not contain the answer. The combination of some data and an aching desire for an answer does not ensure that a reasonable answer can be extracted from a given body of data.’

Ever see Interstellar? Love that film. Elon Musk should just select 100 people, blast off and leave the rest of us to burn. As psychologists would call it, most of humanity is indeed still at the larval stage. Most of us stay on ‘the fourth circuit’ all life and rip at anyone who goes beyond or tries to. Christ would be murdered again, that’s why Buddha avoided crowds. Release and receive...channel.

‘Truth, truth, truth! crieth the Lord of the Abyss of Hallucinations...’

Paradise in a scientific quantum possibility...A dimension where the ‘soul’/ recorded/imprinted memory continues in  ‘A quite specific electromagnetic-gravitational field in which mind can manifest without organic bodies’. As all ‘reality’ is subjective, and an individual life most likely takes up a mere byte in a terabyte (trillion bytes). Personal Heavens, the way YOU design and chose. Dream and imagine possibilities now...much Love forever from Anon of Ibid