#; it isn't in my blood ( self )
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Equally Invalid
#trafficshipping#smallidarity#<- shipping rlly isn't the main main focus here but it ends on the kiss so I'm scared to tag anything else lol#cw blood#my art#animatic#it's more like. visuals for character analysis thoughts. because this is way more fun for all of us than writing it all out as an essay#I don't expect you guys to. Get it btw or at least not all of it alot of this is very self indulgent and jumps around the timeline#it's like 99% just for me but still. I hope the smallidarity enjoyers of the world can get smth out of it at least lol#very very very happy for ppl to ask abt specific scenes if ur interested ofc#I prefer not to spell out what things mean cus like. It's more fun for me thinking of ppl applying their own thoughts onto my stuff.#but if you ask I will yap forever god bless#if you want you can play a game of spot the jojo reference. and spot the utena reference#ANYWAY YEAH WOO scott and joel content yes yes yes woo!!!!#do they have a duo name like. at all. is that a thing#happy pride everyone
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Summer child, your uses have always had their limits.
#mahiro kurono#oc stuff#blood cw#blood tw#I don't speak or write Japanese so bear with my mistakes but the writings should mean “worthless” and “I love you”#Both of which are useless to be inscribed in his quirk as “worthless” isn't a statement specific enough to be followed through on#and he can't force a person to feel a certain emotion like love#only to act#“I love you” could be considered a form of self-insult as much as “worthless” is#whose hand that is doesn't really matter only that it shoves him down#whoo!#orb draws
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Whumpuary Day 17
Whumpuary Masterpost
Prompts List
Prompts: drugged | "i'm glad you're alive" | revenge
Fandom: Original Work
Words: 700
Tag List: (message me to be added or removed) @fourwingedsnake @whumperofworlds @pigeonwhumps @mr-orion @scaewolf
@the-ellia-west
WIP Wednesday Peeps: @zyrafowe-sny @auburnlaughter @kidsomeday @catboy-jupiter @laneboyheathens
@aparticularbandit @violet-prism-creatively
CW: stealth, knife, swearing, blood, injury, black eye, bridal carry
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Killian was never as good at entering the dream world as Jas was. It was the case on Somnia, and it remained the case on every world they visited. He didn’t mind as much, he preferred being in control of his physical body anyway.
But in situations like this, he wished he could pass through walls as easily as in the dream.
Marcus led the way to the prison cells, one floor below. He muttered under his breath, peering around each corner. Whether he was talking to himself, praying, or just swearing was left to interpretation, but whatever Jas was doing seemed to be working, as they didn’t encounter any guards.
The occasional far-off yelling and running echoing off the walls, yes, but no actual, physical guards.
“I don’t like this…” Marcus hissed as they descended the stairs. “This is too easy.”
Killian’s grip tightened on the knife. “She’s good at what she does.”
“And what is that?”
Killian shrugged. “If there’s any method that Jas is consistent with, it’s that she likes to be inconsistent. I can guess, but I don’t know for certain. Let’s just say that the dream is very weird when it comes to physics.”
Marcus muttered something under his breath, but they reached the bottom of the stairs before Killian could ask for clarification. The detective peered cautiously into the hallway at the bottom of the stairs
Killian kept a careful eye on the stairwell as they moved past cell after cell. Most were open and empty. Others were closed, but he couldn’t tell at a glance if they were occupied.
Finally, Marcus stopped outside a closed cell door, right before the hallway made a sharp right turn out of sight. “Watch that corner,” he ordered, crouching before the door and narrowing his eyes at the lock. Killian obeyed, moving to stand where he could watch around the corner.
“They changed the damn locks,” Marcus muttered, “of course they fucking did.”
Killian raised his eyebrows, eyes darting between the detective and the other hallway as Marcus gently pressed the palm of his hand to the lock. For a moment, nothing happened. Then, without warning, the metal beneath his palm glowed a bright red, and he yanked his hand away right as the lock melted into molten slag, running down the door like wax.
“Could you always do that?” Killian asked when Marcus reached for the handle.
“Why else would the First Flame seek me out?” With those words, he pushed open the door, looked inside the cell, and immediately swore.
Killian inhaled slowly before moving to stand next to him. He suspected something like this, but how he wished he had been wrong. Jas lay unconscious on her back in the middle of the cell, though by the way her body was positioned, she clearly had been left there and not moved since.
The first thing he noticed was the blood. Dripping from a cut on her right temple, saturating her shirt from a dozen rips in the fabric and likely injuries he couldn’t see. Her left shoulder was possibly dislocated, and the skin around her left eye was red and swollen.
But her chest moved, she breathed shallowly, but still, she breathed.
Killian held the knife out to Marcus, who hesitantly took it, shifting uneasily from one foot to the other as Killian entered the cell. He hissed through his teeth as he knelt, trying to find the best way to handle her without disturbing her injuries.
“Fuck…” he muttered, “this is gonna hurt.” The first thing he did was drape her arms over her abdomen, in the hopes that the movement wouldn’t jar her shoulder. Being in the dream dulled most of the senses, but he knew she was aware of her injuries. Best he made this quick. Arms positioned properly, he quickly scooped her up, her neck supported in the crook of one arm and her legs by the other.
He slowly rose. “Glad you’re still alive,” he whispered. She couldn’t hear him. But he didn’t care. Killian glanced back at Marcus. “Let’s get out of here. Quickly.”
#late to my self imposed deadline and ngl this isn't my best work but i don't give a fuck right now#whumpuary2025#whumpuaryno17#“i'm glad you're alive”#stealth#knife#swearing#blood#injury#black eye#bridal carry#my writing#whump#whump writing#oc whump#jasper katherine#killian cory#marcus roth
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it's midnight and the costume ball is over, but oh it seems my mask is so very stuck!
#my art#the other happy place#horror art#blood#self harm#body horror#face horror#i put a mature tag i don't want to upset anyone who doesn't want to be upset#she's having a great time#except she isn't#but she is!
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I haven't been drawing much of anything in a hot minute, but @michi-kurosawa created an Inktober prompt list- so I picked up my ink pens for the first time in eons and got to work BGKDBJN
#I missed working with ink tbh#Clowni's fawntober isn't exclusively ink drawings but I wanted to use ink again bfgnjsz#blood cw#injury cw#gore cw#decapitation cw#violence cw#death cw#with Mizu comes content warnings ODFESDON#my art#fan art#the powerpuff girls#blue eye samurai#mojo jojo#bubbles#blossom#buttercup#mizu#self insert#self ship#inktober#fawntober
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call to a witch song
#beatrice umineko#beatrice the golden witch#shannon umineko#umineko#umineko no naku koro ni#when they cry#wtc#jichanmakes#cw blood#cw death#the way they have so much potential. so interesting#it could be yuri it could just be intense girl envy+admiration it could be both#the evolution of their relationship is just soooooo#hopeless maid and the powerful witch -> the strong maid self assured in her love vs the witch who screams that love isn't real#the way shannon goes from deference and awe to legitimately standing up and fighting as a Whole Person#this is mostly about ep2#not to go too hard into spoilers in front of my dear unspoiled oomf but#obviously i was also thinking of THOSE spoilers as well#because that's what made me more fond of their interactions#and ofc when you know it's impossible to not be thinking about that reading at the same time#anyway. get out of here george and kanon let the girls talk
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Out-of-Control
* . ⊹ a villain!ren moodboard
💜 🩷 💜 🩷 🧬 🩷 💜 🩷 💜 * . ⊹ div
so like... there's this guy infected with a hivemind organism... smile... twirls hair twirls hair...
so much of v!ren's aesthetic is just Villains Hot... this was all doc!ren initially, when i first dreamed him up almost a year ago, but the dream had a couple of "plot holes" that i wanted to fix. and before i knew it, i had a complete story with Themes and Motifs in place of "hehe supernatural eye glow hehe evil laughter hehe weird creature goo" :( so obviously i had to bring it all back as an AU and silence the part of me that needs everything to make total sense. 👏🏻✨
he's also VERY much my exploration of some of the symptoms of my various illnesses. he was even a parasitologist in the original dream, and i thought that was a little too on-the-nose so i changed it KJSNDFKJN ;;;
#i talk broadly about being disabled but i don't think i've mentioned specifics here? i'm not SHY about it. i just don't bring it up.#and the tags of this post isn't the place to do that LMAO but we do definitely share a lot of symptoms even if the cause is different!#for ref wrt his symptoms: some friends and i joke that i have hina.mizawa syndrome. and v!ren's issues are very similar to mine. so!#📌 [ my posts. ]#🫧 [ 046 moodboards. ]#🧃 [ who is in control. ]#selfship#self ship#selfshipping#self shipping#blood -#mind control -
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Nickname for rayman: rayray
Nickname for ramon: sexy edgy boyfriend rara
#Yeah the first that is like that is also a nickname jsjsjs#My self insert isn't really creative#Captain Laserhawk#Captain Laserhawk A Blood Dragon Remix#A Blood Dragon Remix#rayman captain laserhawk#ramon captain laserhawk#Rayman#Headcanon#Mad alien#romantic f/o#problematic f/o#f/o#my f/os#my f/o#f/o tag#f/o stuff#f/o post#Alien f/o#Anti hero f/o#Monster f/o
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New blades are great, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the ache that comes after cutting with a dull blade
#tw blades#cat scratches#tw blood#self h@rm#sh#styros#tw razors#If my arm isn't throbbing after sh what is even the point honestly
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#oh my goD could my mother stop stealing all my fucking stuff for even 1 fucking week jfc#im gonna scream#she thinks that bc she's the one paying the majority of the rent and is technically my caregiver bc im too disabled to do certain chores etc#that she is simoly entitled to everything in the apartment and can do whatever she wants#steals my food steals my drinks steals my products steals my laundry card etc#now she's stealing my clothes and pyjamas#the fuck dude#i have severe skin allergies and have very selective clothing i can wear w/o a painful reaction#and now she's just. taking that too#the same way she takes the select few foods that don't set off my issues or allergies and steals the drinks that keep my blood sugar up#and steals the unscented hypoallergenic products i have to use#it never fuckin ends this woman is so self-absorbed and arrogant i rly cannot handle it sometimes (most times)#the irony is that she's a teacher and regularly works with kindergarteners who can understand 'don't touch what isn't yours'#and gives regular lectures to her students of all ages about respecting other ppl's belongings and never assuming u can take something#gives a big ol spiel about attentive listening and boundaries and respect on a daily fuckin basis from 8 am to 8 pm for her 2 teaching job#then comes home and immediately disregards that to take everything that isnt hers / disrespect my belongings and space#and yell at me when i tell her not to / get mad at her for doing it#ma'am.#ur 5 yr olds understand this. so do ur 8 yr olds. u r 60 MF YEARS OLD WHY CAN U NOT COMPREHEND THIS#nah actually the worst part is that she *does* understand it. she simply doesn't care#she would never do this to anyone else just me. bc im disabled and a burden and she hates having me depend on her for things.#idk if its vindictive or bc she feels like i owe her for basic care and decency or if she just enjoys lashing out like a petty bitch#i stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago#all i'm fucking asking is for her to STOP STEALING MY SHIT#is that so much to beg for. is it#ugHdjddjsk#someone find me a wall i need to bash my head against it#(or maybe hers. that might be better)#ask to tag#negative
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ROM MY FRIEND ROM :D
#she's so cool :D#she doesn't attack until you attack her first so someone made an ambience video of her just chillin!#https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mLGWy8WrA0#<- this one!#the music is trying so hard to make her menacing but she's just swaying back and forth like :::::o#i'm thinking in my funny reverse isekai'd micolash au artic is just going about her nightly routine#when she sees one of rom's spiders just. in the tub. and the lights aren't on but there's a little nightlight thingy plugged in#so its dark eyes are shining in the dim light and artic's internally freaking the fuck out as she sloooowly backs away and shuts the door#and goes to lightly shake micolash awake like “mico. mic. wake the fuck up why is there a spider in the bathroom”#he's like “...whuh? take care of it yourself.....” and artic's like “dude this thing is huge and it's covered in eyes and-”#and he suddenly gets up like “ROM???????”#and thus artic is out in the yard at midnight watching this guy hug a giant spider creature wondering how she got in this situation lmaoooo#but it isn't long until she and rom are buddies too ouo#i imagine rom can switch between her human and spider forms? and her human form has those glowy flowers in her hair!#also i'm picturing beast mom seeing rom for the first time and being like “stay back” assuming she's a threat#but this little shapeshifter beast artic is like “rom!!!!!” and runs to hug the big spooky spider friend ouo#and it takes her a second to find a spot to hug bc she doesn't wanna poke any of rom's eyes lol#silly self-indulgent tag#blood buddies
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Mad respect to fade hawke-leavers but that could never be me 😔🫡 I'm simply too weak to do a thing like that to my beloved Isabela and Varric....I simply do not have faith that whoever you leave behind will ever return like they were pretty clear about the fact that they'd probably die and it's been 10 yrs... I left Alistair too, sorry to him as well very sad etc but I don't regret it at all lol
#honestly the amount of ppl who left hawke over STROUD and are now like oh no hawke isn't coming back???#i feel bad like ppl definitely ran too far with the plummet into the abyss theory and chances are it doesn't mean owt ....#anyway my hawkes chilling on the beach with isabela drinking margarita slushies AT THIS VERY MOMENT#i think it's a good ending for alistair tbh. he already cheated death once with the dark ritual#it was the warden's mess (i legit do not understand why hawke would be responsible for corypheus lol)#my hawke is not self sacrificing at all the most ooc thing was for her to be like nooo leave me instead!#even worse than her railing at blood magic while being a blood mage
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you know what? i'm gonna say it. i miss being seventeen. not for the "glory days," bc they weren't, by a country mile lol. if i had glory days i'd say they were in 2020. but i miss the electricity, the constant undercurrent of euphoria and deep plunging black. i miss the fight i had. i was literally known for being scrappy. i was self-destructive and coping poorly, but goddamn if i didn't burn bright and long. it took me until my twenties to finally start to fizzle out. does the candle with its wax melted down to the base of its glass cage miss when the wick was lit?
#she bork#it's not even that i'm tired of fighting necessarily. clearly. if i was i wouldn't miss it. i think i miss being ABLE to fight. now i just#don't feel like i have the grit i used to have. i'm not sure if it's bc i'm healthier mentally or bc my energy has just dissipated over time#but i miss taking hit after hit (metaphorically) and wiping the blood from my lip and standing again and raising my fists. i don't do that#anymore. and again even if it's bc i'm healthier i'm not sure it's a good thing that that stubbornness and grit is gone. is it automatically#better to seek the path of least resistance? i'm not sure.#maybe it's learned helplessness? idk i mean logically one person can only suffer so much before they learn it's better not to fight or that#fighting isn't even always possible. but i've always struggled. i've always gone head-first into these things and white-knuckled it and made#it through even if only w self-violence (which was often remarked upon as self-discipline). now i feel like i just flounder and flop and cry#like a fish w a wailing voice on the dock as it loses its breath. i really do think it's partially bc i'm sane now but somewhere inside me#that crazy flame still dances. and ik that bc from time to time i still feel the heat against the sides of the glass. maybe it's a lack of#confidence. maybe it's that ik now that it's impossible to hate yourself into a different better shape (both physically and mentally). but#it was so exciting to try. if i'm miserable regardless i'd at least rather be having fun.#furthermore it could also be that my chaos is no longer external. a lot of what i have going on is internal/physical and it's a daily thing.#fighting daily is a lot harder than fighting through my shitty relationship or that one season of volleyball that destroyed me mentally lol#(ik that sounds ridiculous but it was pretty fucking bad). i'm no longer fighting against other people or external circumstances that i feel#a need to prove myself against. i'm fighting my own body which has proven a tougher match than anticipated. bc how can i? i live here. i#cannot will my body to function. i can swim against the currents of my illness and often do. but that's less glamorous than punching walls#and running for miles like i used to. i want to break a hand. i want to run three miles in half an hour. i want to doll myself up for a#dance and spend the whole night driving w the windows down strung out on a cocktail of cortisol and dopamine. i want to live in the eye of#the hurricane again. and i never will. and it's good but i think it's made me soft.
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"We generally perceive time as a linear construct—it moves in one direction — forward. Perhaps though, the spirits of the Otherworld, being free of other mortal laws might also find themselves free from the forward movement of time. This means they could, in theory, see past or future events at will."
—Death's Head: Animal Skulls in Witchcraft & Spirit Work (2022) by Blake Malliway
#pretty much sums up my beliefs about linear & non-linear time#time isn't linear#we only perceive it as such because of our human limitations#Spirits don't necessarily have that constraint#Magic even... doesn't necessarily have that constraint#but let's not get all 'self consistency principle' this and 'free will vs fate' that#unless you want to fall down that particular physics rabbit hole lol#Blood and Water#my notes#quotes
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Yumetober 2024 - Day 16: Innocence
"There's blood on my hands like the blood in you
Some things can't be treated so don't make me be myself around you"
There's so much symbolism here
#yumetober2024#yumetober#self insert#yumeship#self ship#hellsing#alucard#alucard hellsing#much symbolism very wow#the obvious white dress covered in blood#his gloves are clean of blood#there's blood on my lips as well so blood was shared#one halo isn't completely white#look at how much symbolism i can fit on this bad boy
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Thought about making a ghost town au jason design but kinda bluescreened when I realized he wouldn't be a doll tbh
#ghost town is a story if mine ^v^! its mostly just design fun#and yeah ghost doll isn't a fit for jason. well maybe it could depend on time when/how he died#but both of his proper deaths ive seen he wouldn't make a doll ghost. maybe a broken or cracked doll#he gets close. so i can see it happening for him depending#doll ghostss are people who often hide their own feelings and will try to make themselves better or more appealing for others#often at the harm and loss of themselves#theres also an element of being something to display to it#so like. all of my doll aus#thinking about his batarang death. DEFINITELY a ghost thatd have their injury clear#cant tell if i want him actually drenched in blood or like. stylized blood. like that pearl necklace#kinda want him in a suit of armor tbh. for funsies. im varying between that or just his normal self#well actually i fully believe a post utrh death jason would look like his child self. but shhh we're exploring other avenues right now#i cant WAIT to finish my jason todd design so i can start dressing him up hehe#unfortunately figuring out just like. normal designs. is harder for me than au outfits so its taking me a bit -~-#and/or doll ghosts can be from incredibly passive people bc that is like attached to my previous explanations. squares and rectangles tho#not related to jason
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