#; I hope you enjoy the BACK FIRE NEZUMI

[harisutheforestprincess]

Just a reminder, Nezumi is highly intelligent, and I can tell that he made acquiring knowledge a coping mechanism when he faced the aftermath of survival.

It's so powerful because Nezumi lost all reference to what life was when his tribe was burnt to ashes, yet in his genes, the need for culture is deeply printed, and he believes Shion could survive if he holds to this same need.

He was a traveler before the idea was put in his head by the musicians passing by West Block. Nezumi knew there was so much more to life than guilt or sorrow because he had already experienced it. It was on his bone, part of his skin. Something that neither trauma nor fire could take from him.

Forgetfulness wasn't his excuse to give up. Nezumi kept on living because there was a lot to learn, a lot to explore, a lot to understand, and a lot to experience. He shouted inwardly and held to: Life has meaning because another world is yet to be met.

He wasn't terrified but eager to discover, grasp, and walk on it. Whatever that meant, since he didn't have any other sight than cruelty, betrayal, and death. He hoped on the different worlds he found casually in a book or maybe looking at a beautiful flower blooming between rocks.

Due to this hope and his soul's nature that can not be washed away, not even by the stains of blood, Nezumi could build his own collective from scratch. He has the brains, the values, and a broad understanding of the morality spectrum to set rules and, eventually, laws. But first, he needs to get out there and meet people akin to his intellectual thirst and art hunger, which confirms my personal view that Nezumi is a social butterfly!

He enjoyed his conversations with Shion because someone could finally meet him, talk back, challenge him, and add on. Constantly, continuously. No one ever did that for him—with him. His Gran and Godfather just kept on babbling about vindication and revenge, not giving him the opportunity to estate an opinion. He was meant to take vendetta on the world, and that was it.

Then, when he was alone with no one influencing his thoughts, he was in a terrible place. In a society like West Block, knowledge might be considered a threat since muscles and how to defend your territory and yourself is the only thing that matters.

If Nezumi had wanted to express himself intellectually, he would have been beaten to humiliate and degrade him. While these aspects are not detailed in the novels, I can confidently say that if Nezumi had wanted to express himself femininely, he would have been abused. Through Rikiga, we can see that despite the acknowledgment of talent in his work as Eve, he was mainly sexualized. Nezumi understood the powers of his looks and called his own legs money maker because sex is a big business in the town, and for sure, everything is done through the lenses of desperation. Nothing healthy about it or that you could take pride on.

Nezumi didn't have anyone to share his interests with, and even attempting to discover if someone did, risked his life. Not precisely by losing it but by going through hell repeatedly, which equals being broiled alive again. We see that the idea of suffering for Nezumi roots in that experience, and it's wise he doesn't want to get closer to it by any means.

Nezumi was closed off from Shion because he learned that keeping himself to himself was the way to survive. He isn't an edgy teenager who wants to be cool by being mysterious; he is afraid being open would wound him or, even worse, would worsen the scar on his back.

Again, here we are, with the fact that when Shion got closer, either with questions or intuition, Nezumi would be irritated to the point that he'd be violent because he was defending himself as he would on the streets. As he would need to do with West Block and No. 6 citizens because both parties have chased him down one way or another. With no breaks. Really.

Ever since the genocide happened, Nezumi's soul has been screaming to see another world. It's very well deserved. However, Shion alone wouldn't break the layer Nezumi has been protecting himself with. Nezumi needs to interact with other societies, different cultures, and new lifestyles.

Those other realities aren't the wall-less No. 6. West Block resulted from No. 6 as No. 6 resulted from West Block. Even when there was a wall between them, both places were constantly influencing each other as the government knew the existence of both, and trying to put a blindfold on No. 6 citizens and an iron wield on West Block's citizens had an impact on how everyone was treated. To avoid a society like West Block, there was genocide. Again, to avoid a society like West Block, there was censorship and brainwashing.

If Nezumi had stayed, he would have been terribly limited, and the concept of freedom would have morphed into a strange necessity to fit in to achieve happiness. To dismiss years of cultural development that could be happening in other cities. In Beyond, we can see that the earth is starting to heal since he bathes in a river in the wild, and not too long ago, No. 6 was still using West Block to dispose of their trash.

No. 6 is still a ignorant city, behind so many alternatives, repeating the same mistakes, and it will take years until it reaches a point where Nezumi can feel content. He has high standards and should search for them, so he can comfortably fit in because he is happy where he's at. It's a dichotomy, but a dichotomy, in this case, is healthy for Nezumi.

He's a rebel, and a rebel needs to have a sharp mind, and you can only have a sharp mind if you educate yourself. He understood this from a young age, and it was about time his heart had that so-needed revolution.

Get out of there and be damn happy under your own concept of happiness!

I am rooting for him and will always applaud his decision to leave.

[distopea]

@nezumivc103221

It was a chill Thursday evening, just about time to start making dinner, and Nezumi felt extra needy (and hungry), which didn't align with Mads' newspaper browsing. He was doing too much reading and not enough cooking.

Nezumi huffed and placed both hands in the middle of the pages, blocking as much of the text as he could manage. He said nothing. Just waited.

And when, inevitably, Mads looked at him, Nezumi blinked and said: "I'm hungry."

//50s Nezumi

One thing was radically different between Mads and Nezumi for sure: the cooking and dinner hours. Mads wasn’t really bothered with an empty stomach, whenever he was focused and busy on something, he could forget about food for a while and just swallow something quick before bed time. Nezumi, well… He was far different from the birdy stomach of Eve for sure. Perhaps it was because of his youth or his raging energy, but through his snacking moments and his sudden diner cravings, Mads was taken off guard more than once.

Again, today, it seemed that he was taking too much of his time reading the news. He could feel the piercing eyes of Nezumi glaring at him, but he didn’t want to indulge him either. Nezumi was a capable man with two hands and a brain, but he was awfully demanding whenever he was hungry. Mads cooks this, and Mads cooks that. But Mads was not in the mood. And the way he ignored Nezumi should be enough for the young man to understand; he would cook by himself. 

“I was in the middle of my paragraph.” The policeman said with a detached tone while Nezumi claimed that he was hungry, both of their irises staring at the other one. And oh dear, he wouldn’t remove those hands before getting what he wanted. “So all that chocolate earlier wasn’t enough? Nor the pudding you had for lunch?�� Mads raised his eyebrows, before he gazed down at Nezumi’s slender fingers covering the lines of the news. It gave him an idea. The only one that was still working whenever he wanted to pester him. Before Nezumi could step away, Mads caught both of his wrists, the papers gently falling onto the table.

“You know what Scottish men love the most for dinner?” He hummed, pulling Nezumi closer with a motion of his hands. It forced him to stay there, staring at Mads in the eyes. “We really love…” Mads moved his face, breathing just above his flesh, before he gently but almost sensually bit his knuckles. “… Eating people’s fingers in a good and hot soup.” He kept staring at Nezumi, lips lingering just above his skin for a second before he eventually abandoned his grip, while he noticed that the young man really didn’t get what was going on and needed his safe space back. 

Mads caught his papers again and threw one last glance at Nezumi. “So, don’t mind me, but if you don’t want me to eat you all in one gulp, just wait that I'm done.”   

[juseki-taisen]

How about how the 12 warriors celebrate V-Day? (Bonus challenge being Doudecuple and Navi)

Thank you for the request @gale-dragon-writer

This was a long one! I hope you guys like!

Inounoshishi

Without S/O

This wouldn’t happen, let’s be real. If it did she planned this by choice, so she’s probably busy kicking ass and taking names...and numbers

Probably prowls bars for lonely men/women/they’s ect to buy her drinks.

Never pays for any food or drink of Valentines. She’s hot af and knows it

It’s 50/50 if she’s going to go home with someone

With S/O

Expects to be spoiled. Please spoil her

Despite her immense wealth, she doesn’t expect you to buy her expensive things. She can do that herself. What she’d really like is for a gift that’s full of thought.

If you make her a gift, she’ll play it off but she secretly loves it. It doesn’t matter how shitty it is. If you make her a cute boar figure out of clay and it’s lopsided, but you tried hard and painted it her favorite color, it’s going on her mantel in the living room.

Spoils you too. You will drown in gifts and kisses. Don’t worry, she uses amazing lipstick and it doesn’t stick to your face.

Dotsuku

Without S/O

Spends the day giving candy to the children.

Secretly gives his daughter a secret admirer letter, her confidence SKY ROCKETS

Decorates his classroom

This man is great at help kids learn about consent. No pulling pigtails, and if a boy likes a girl and she tells him no, he makes sure he knows not to keep bugging her. Same thing with the girls. If a boy doesn’t like them they’re not allowed to keep bugging them either.

Watches cute love movies with his daughter. He’s her prince charming.

With S/O

You better believe he has you help decorate his classroom

You make cute paper hearts and pick out candy

The kids leave you valentines

He takes you to dinner. His daughter comes too. You guys have a lot of fun. He buys you and his daughter a dessert. Somehow she eats here and half of yours

Snuggles on the couch and a cute movie.

Niwatori

Without an S/O

Doesn’t celebrate

She doesn’t understand why it’s a big deal

Indulges the day after on discount candy

With an S/O

Help her

She wants to celebrate but she’s in Ushii level awkward when it comes to doing anything

Picks the most popular movie out, watches it, and THAT is the basis for her whole idea

Gets you candy. Wears a cute dress. Picks a place to eat. Buys you roses, or do you get her roses? She’ll get them for you...just in case

Candy? Candy. Lots of candy.

Any small thing you get her she’s going to love. She never has really gotten gifts, and one out of love is a gift she’ll treasure forever

If you do get her flowers, she’s going to press them or dry them and keep them forever

Sharyu

Without an S/O

She had a fiancé for what seemed like forever, so a day without one is kind of difficult for her

She’s happy she’s alone, because she’s happy with who she is and now doesn’t have anyone to try and fit her into a mold that she didn’t belong

Kind of mopes though. She wants romance and someone who loves her for who she is and everything she does

Drinks hot coco and eats an ungodly amount of chocolate

With an S/O

So. Excited.

She cooks all day and makes cake, dinner, and everything else from scratch

You get her gifts and feel like it’s still not enough

Honestly? It doesn’t matter what you get her. She just love shaving you around and knowing how much you care for her for who she is

PLEASE slow dance with her in the kitchen while you’re doing the dishes. She’ll remember it forever

Hitsujii

Without an S/O

Hangs out at home

Waiting for the candy to go on sale

Babysits for his child so they can have a romantic evening

Watches random shows on TV, but avoids romance stuff

With an S/O

Still wants to hang out at home, but will go out if you want

Uses this as an excuse to DESTROY the candy aisle

Gets you flowers, they’re not red roses because that’s pretty expensive, but he gets cute ones...and a bear

Snuggles and falling asleep to bad rom coms on TV

Uuma

Without an S/O

Spends it alone

He wishes he had someone, but he’s alright for the most part

Okay he’s not

He’s a big softie inside and somewhat romanticizes the holiday more than he should

Eats cake...and chocolate 

With an S/O

The man goes WILD

Roses everywhere

Candlelight 

A romantic dinner he made meticulously after practicing for weeks

Remakes the titanic ship in a bottle, with you two as the figures on the front of the ship

He loves any gift you get him. He cries. He tries not to, but he does. 

He writes you a poem he gets to embarrassed to read. You get it in a card. 

Takeyasu

Without an S/O

Steals everything with his brother

Necklaces, candy, and even flowers just so he can light them on fire

Doesn’t think much of the holiday, never has. It’s stupid. 

With an S/O

He’s awkward. He doesn’t know how to celebrate the holiday

He gets you the basics, candy, a bear, and flowers. That’s it right? 

Oh wait, you wanna do something? Uh, can a theme park be romantic?

You have a lot of fun actually, and when inevitably he lights part of it on fire, he has stuff for smores. 

You save the picture from the tunnel of love. You managed to snap it before he lit it on fire. The tunnel was the point of origin. 

Later on down the road he plans more stuff. He may also use fireworks to do your name in the air or something

Steals you a car. 

Nagayuki

Without an S/O

Steals stuff with his brother

Gets entirely to many snacks

Does anything but Holiday stuff

With an S/O

Doesn’t want to do anything, but will because you ask him

Takes you for dinner, and he enjoys spending time with you, but because social convention is making him he’s grumpy about it 

If you’re the kind of person who is easily embarrassed, he may send you cheesy emails with stupid valentines cards

Chocolate and all KINDS of snacks

Later on down the line he’ll plan more romantic stuff, and buy you nice things with real money so you know he cares

Usagi

Without an S/O

He likes the Holiday and wants someone to do it with SOOOO BAD

Watches all those cute movies and cheesy rom coms

Has a “Friend” he takes out on a date

It doesn’t go well

With an S/O

Oh boy. He’s SO HAPPY

He gets you everything. Flower, roses (ignore the blood it’s fine), and he lets you know he’s arrived to pick you up by having his friends hold him high while he has a boom box playing your favorite song. Even if it’s metal. Even if he thinks the holiday begins at midnight. Your neighbors wont care, right?

You will go to ALL the cheesy stuff. Cute rides at a theme park, which somehow gets burned down later on thanks to someone (Takeyasu)

 A dinner and flowers, chocolate. SO MUCH CANDY. He even likes the terrible heart ones. He made you a box filled with ones that have saying that remind him of you

Cuddles, kisses, and smooches that just...don’t stop. Even in public. You gotta tell him to tone it down. 

Tora

Without an S/O

Drinks, and mopes

She doesn’t really want to date, but seeing other people happy kinda rubs it in when you’re single

Partakes in day after candy sales

She actually avoids the bars, to many couples being happy and cute

Angrily eats snacks

With an S/O

She doesn’t expect much, other than maybe being one of those annoying couples who steals Every. Booth. In. The. Restaurant. 

Please get her presents. Please. She’ll get really happy and flustered

This girl will actually try and make you chocolate from scratch. Sharyu helps. She even wraps them in a cute wrapping paper she draws herself

It’s pretty casual and after bar hopping you spend it at home. You’re with her so she cuts back so she’s not sloshed. She wants to remember being with you. 

So many cute kisses. 

Hand holding. It still gets her flustered. 

Please get your picture taken at some point. She’ll put it by her bed and fall asleep smiling

Ushii

Without an S/O

There’s a Holiday? 

He guess he noticed it was harder than normal to get a table for his favorite restaurant

Doesn’t really like sweets so the holiday just annoys him

So many people confess to him and he’s just like “Okay. Cool. Thanks” 

With an S/O

He’s not great with the holiday. He’s smart though, so he tries  to research what to do

Googles top ten most romantic gesture, luckily has the sense not to propose

Gets you candy, roses, and all the stereotypical stuff

You have to tell him to relax, because all the stuff he’s saying is regurgitated rom com lines

When he does relax, he’s actually really sweet. Stupidly sweet actually. 

“I don’t need a holiday to tell me you’re important, you’re already always on my mind, but the candy is nice I guess”

Will watch whatever you want. Is always confused by romance movies, but oh BOY does he love going out to eat with you. Hell. Yes. The desserts are amazing and now he gets to share them with you

Care you a card. It’s ugly, but he tries

Gets you a really cute necklace. It has a small ox on it, so he can always be with you. 

Nezumi

Without an S/O

Eats candy and sleeps. It’s no different than any other day, other than people piss him off more.

He doesn’t like how weird people get 

They also made out on his locker...and he needed his textbook. Please....Let him get his books

With an S/O

Uses his paths so much that he passes out and HARD CORE NAPS before you go out

Has the perfect gift.

Plays co op video games with you

He doesn’t like people, so you get take out and stay home

You watch movies, but they’re movies like Princess Bride, Warm Bodies, and love stories that aren’t so normal and are more fun

If you’re LGBT he goes out of his way to find a good movie ahead of time, because he loves and supports you and this day is about you two damn it! (The other’s would try to do this for their S/O, but would have a harder time. since most of them are not great with technology like Nezumi is)

So much candy and snacks

Selfies and filters

You fall asleep together and nap

get him a gift. He’ll know it’s coming but it still makes him happy

BONUS CHALLENGE 

Doudecuple

Without an S/O

Doesn’t do a whole lot. Has wine and watches the mortals below

Maybe messes with people just a bit to amuse himself

Does his own thing. He really doesn’t care for the holiday

With an S/O

Wine and a dessert charcuterie board

Gets you an expensive gift, but practical. A coat, a scarf. Something to keep you warm and cozy you can use everyday and think of him.

Makes the impossible possible. A romantic setting with only a few people

Getting the tickets for some play or show the last minute

Please do something cheesy, it’ll amuse him, and he’ll secretly keep it

ON THE FLIP SIDE

He may get a gift from you, then anyone who goes in his office will see it. 

“Look what my Love got me. Have you beheld it?”

It doesn’t matter if it’s stupid. He’s keeping it forever 

Navi

Without and S/O

Stays home and has snacks and chocolates

Maybe organizes his hat collection

Watches fun game shows or anything without romance

With S/O

Has a special hat he wears for the occasion

Gets you one too

Gets you candy and a single rose, as well as a teddy bear

Uses his tablet to find the best places to go with the best rating. Uses his ability to multiply to hold your place in line so you can actually do other stuff

Ferris wheel. He has to hold his hat on but you guys get an AMAZING picture together. It’s his screensaver. He texts it to Nezumi. Nezumi and him start having a couple picture off. Next year, double date. 

[no6secretsanta]

Warm bodied

Here’s my fic for signpainter1 !! I hope you’ll enjoy it, I liked writing it ! :D

- @akuthecactus

                                                                                                                              “Let’s take a hot bath !”

Nezumi rose his eyes from the book he was reading, snuggled in an armchair, right beside the fireplace. It was freezing cold outside and both him and Shion could hear the West block wind hissing under the door and making their noses and fingers cold. Even the fire struggled to keep them warm and they were both wrapped in blankets. The white-haired boy looked at his roommate with big sparkling eyes as he often had when he had, usually not so, great ideas.

“What do you mean ?” Nezumi asked, wondering how Shion could think a bath was a luxury they could afford when their last dinner had been a clear soup.

“Well, we should take a warm bath ! I can take water from the river and fill one of Inukashi’s metal tubs, you know, the ones I wash the dogs in ? And then we can heat it on the fire and have a warm bath !” Shion explained excitedly as he got up from his seat, ready to put his plan into action.

Nezumi really thought it sounded childish and futile of Shion to offer carrying gallons of freezing water only to take a bath, but he had to admit the idea of immersing himself in hot water was appealing. He didn’t even remember when it last happened.

“Mh. Well, if you want to have fun carrying it and taking care of the fire while it heats, why not, I guess it can’t hurt. Try not to freeze your fingers while carrying it.” He said with a sigh and looked back at his book.

Shion grinned excitedly and put his warm clothes on. “I’ll be back soon !”

                                                                                                                              About an hour later, the heavy basement door opened and Shion pulled a metal tub in. He was panting and his nose and cheeks had taken a bright pink color. “Pfew, I made it ! Inukashi let me borrow the tub until tomorrow so we don’t need to worry about giving it back tonight.” The young man explained as he lifted the tub over fire, placing it carefully and standing back with a grin. Nezumi watched the scene unfold, genuinely surprised Shion had made it this far. I really should stop underestimating that boy, he thought. “Be careful not to heat it too much, I don’t want to boil in there.” He remarked, to what Shion nodded. “Don’t worry it will be perfect.” He assured.

As promised, Shion took good care of the fire, frequently plunging his hand in the water to stir it and evaluate the heat. In the meanwhile, Nezumi made some room for the tub. Not that he was as excited as his roommate, but he didn’t want any water on his books. The water took a while to heat properly but Shion eventually stood up and carried the steaming tub in the middle of the space Nezumi had struggled to make in all their mess. “Let’s get in before the water gets cold !” The white haired boy said as he pulled his clothes off without much embarrassment, revealing the red snake coiled around his body. He then carefully sat in the water in order to not spill any and folded his legs to make some room. It was large enough for a big dog, but small for an adult human. Fortunately, neither of the boys were tall. “It’s so warm, come in !” Shion said with a satisfied grin.

Nezumi hesitated. Of course, that bath was tempting, of course letting his cold body relax and let go of everything that made him nervous was enticing. His cold hands were already heated by the steam and his whole body longed for a good bath. But this also meant being unbelievably vulnerable, very close to Shion. He couldn’t explain why, but he was scared of doing it. He knew he could easily kill that boy with his bare hands, he was just so fragile and naïve. But Shion also had already managed to reach for Nezumi’s neck with such ease. It was worrisome.

His eyes met Shion’s. What a beautiful color, Nezumi thought each time he saw them. “I can turn around if you don’t want me to watch you.” Shion offered, his eyes still looking right in the silver ones.

Nezumi stayed quiet for a bit then looked down at the water, conflicted feelings fighting within him. Reason told him there was nothing to worry about and that it would be stupid to skip on this occasion. But his instinct told him not to go, that this boy was too weird, to unpredictable, too dangerous. Yet, another feeling, much harder to put a name on, pulled him towards Shion, towards the occasion on spending more time with him and seeing his smile. He rose his eyes from the water to meet Shion again. The latter smiled and closed his eyes. “I won’t open them until you get in. I promise.”

Nezumi stayed still for a bit more until slowly taking his clothes off. As promised, Shion didn’t open his eyes and simply leaned his head back. The black-haired boy considered it again, but the wind wrapped its claws around his naked body and he quickly put a foot in the water, then the second before lowering himself in. He leaned his back against the wall of the tub, fully hiding his scar.

The warmth quickly spread in the young man’s bones. He knew that feeling, he was sure he had already felt it before. But when ? Could such a futile feeling have stuck in the few pieces that were left from his childhood ? But it wasn’t futile. Being warm meant being alive.

“I’m in. You can open your eyes it’s fine.” He said.

Shion opened his eyes and grinned. “Isn’t it nice ?” He leaned back against the side of the tub, sighing with a satisfied look on his face. Cravat climbed up a pile of books and jumped on Shion’s hand, watching the water with curiosity. “It’s been a while since I last took a bath, it’s such a good feeling…” He went on, not waiting for Nezumi’s answer. Both of them had their legs tightly folded but their feet still touched although it didn’t really bother them.

A few minutes passed in comfortable silence. Nezumi kept his eyes open, watching Shion pet the mouse. Eventually, the white-haired boy started talking. “I’m sorry.” He simply said. Nezumi furrowed his brows.

“What are you sorry for ?”

“I know we already talked about it, but… sorry for sometimes being a burden to you. I’m trying to learn and be better, but sometimes it’s not enough. You saved my life more times than I can count and even if you said I saved your life, I only did it once. I’m costing you money, time and I’m dragging you into something impossible. I-“

“Stop.”

“I know, I know.” Shion looked down like a kid who had been scolded.

“I’m not saying this to make you shut up. Look at me.” Nezumi said firmly. Shion looked back up, locking his purple eyes in the silver ones. “Thank you for the bath. It was a good idea.” He said with a soft smile.

Shion smiled as well, Nezumi’s thanks were rare and genuine, which made them even more valuable. But it wasn’t enough to make him stop thinking, a bath couldn’t be enough to pay back what he owed Nezumi. He broke eye-contact to take the soap. “Let’s wash ourselves before the water gets cold.” He said while rubbing the soap in his hands, but was interrupted by thin fingers placed on his hands. Their eyes met again.

“Let me do it.” Nezumi looked serious. Shion’s confusion showed on his face.

“Let you do what ?”

“Let me wash your hair.” He said, still no hint of a smile. Shion couldn’t tell if Nezumi was making fun of him or if he was actually offering something. “Relax and let me do it.” He added.

Shion didn’t quite know what to answer so he simply closed his eyes. He felt Nezumi’s thin fingers slip through the almost transparent hair, gently pushing them away from the boy’s face. He then scooped some water with a bowl they usually used for soup and Nezumi slowly poured it on Shion’s head, protecting his face with his hand.

Even though he knew no water would get on his face, Shion kept his eyes closed. He would feel too nervous if he saw Nezumi’s face so close to his own, and it also helped him relax. The downside being he thought even more about what was happening. Why did Nezumi want to wash his hair all of a sudden ? Was it a West block cultural thing he didn’t know about ? Or was it really just because Nezumi wanted him to relax ? He always struggled to understand his friend so much it hurt. Each time he made a step towards him, it felt like he also took a step back. But this time, a big step had been made by Nezumi.

Once Shion’s hair was fully wet, Nezumi applied the soap, putting a light pressure on Shion’s scalp as he massaged it. Instantly, the white haired boy felt his whole body relax and a soft sigh escape his lips. Was he always so sensitive or was it simply because it was Nezumi doing it ? His fingers were so gentle and precise, slipping streaks of hair between them and covering each hair with soap. It felt like a lover’s kiss.

Shion couldn’t think about what this all meant. He couldn’t think about anything anymore. Nezumi seemed to have switched off his constant train of thought with the tip of his fingers. Now the only thing the boy could concentrate on was the sensation on his head and the warmth of the bath warming his bones.

The silence was only enhanced by the water dripping and the mice squeaking, but it was a comfortable, warm silence. They didn’t need words. In fact, Nezumi’s hands spoke louder. When Nezumi tucked Shion’s hair behind his hear, when he slipped his fingers up, caressed the scalp, carefully separating it in two sides, when his thumbs massaged Shion’s temples, it all said I love you in different ways.

Neither of them had really said it out loud. Of course, there was something between them. But the time wasn’t right. Maybe later. If they both survived in the correctional facility, maybe Shion would tell him.

Eventually, Nezumi rinsed Shion’s hair and got up of the tub. Shion’s eyes opened just a bit later as his friend was rubbing himself with a towel.

“Now there’s another thing I owe you…” He muttered.

“No there isn’t. There isn’t anything you owe me. This was a gift, learn to appreciate it.”

Shion smiled lightly and got out as well, rubbing himself vigorously with the towel before quickly putting his clothes back on. He was glad he had this idea. Next time it will be cold, he would definitely do it again.

[umisabaku]

Hello! I saw you were opening prompts and i greatly admire your writing! If possible, could you please write a little something for N0.6 + winter? (If not all good, i'd hate to be a bother) I saw your other n0.6 piece and loved it ♡♡♡ thanks so much for your kindness in doing this for people! I hope you have a really good day! (Or night!)

Baby Shion falls down in a big pileof snow, causing one of the dogs to bark in concern. The toddler laughs, soShion does too, helping his namesake back up. “Be careful,” he says.

“Fluffy!” Baby Shionsays. 

“It is fluffy,” Shionagrees. “Here, help me roll the medium sized one on top. There we go! Nowhe needs arms! You and the dogs should go find some sticks, can you do that forme?”

“Yes!” Baby Shion says, and he runs (well, waddles) off into thewoods, with three of the dogs surrounding him and herding him along.

“What are you doing?”Nezumi asks, coming up from behind him.

“What?” Shion says,looking at the other man. “I’m building a snow man. You didn’t want tohelp, remember?”

Nezumi’s exact words were, Thatsounds stupid, no I’m not going to play in the snow, are you crazy?

“Yeah, I still think you’recrazy,” Nezumi says. “You’re teaching that poor kid some dangeroushabits about the cold. Dog Keeper and I both think you’re off your gourd.”

“I’m building a snowman, it’snot like we’re ice skating,” Shion says, rolling his eyes. “AlthoughI would like to go skating soon. Winter used to be my favorite season. Makingsnowmen, snow angels, snowball fights, keeping warm by the fire and drinkinghot cocoa, I love everything about it. Don’t you—”

He cuts off, all of the suddenrealizing why Nezumi might have very different associations with winter thanShion did, growing up.

Nezumi grins that feral grin of his,like he can read Shion’s mind and knows exactly what he just realized and isnot going to cut him any slack for it. “Winter means scarce food supplies,no heat, high chance of freezing to death, starving to death, and increased probabilityof fights with other people due to lack of resources. So no, I never much likedthe winter.”

Shion falls silent, embarrassed thateven now, after a couple years of living with Nezumi, he can still default backto the privileged upbringing that he had. But then he looks out at Baby Shion,now playing tug-of-war with one of the dogs over a stick that presumably willbecome one of the snowman’s arms, and without further thought, Shion scoopsdown to make a snowball, and he throws it at Nezumi.

“I still like winter,” hesays, his voice clear. “And I want Baby Shion to like winter, too. And Iwant you to like winter, and to think it’s fun, because it can bebeautiful.” I want you to have a new life. I want us to have a newlife. One where we keep the good things about our past and forget the badthings. I want—

Nezumi throws a snowball at Shion.It hits him right in the face. “You’re going to need a much betterdefense, with a wimpy throwing arm like yours,” Nezumi says, now with asofter grin. And then he steps in closer and says, “I like the idea ofstaying warm. I can certainly think of a few ways we can do that, once the kidis asleep.”

Shion blushes, but before he canrespond, Nezumi dunks more snow down his shirt and goes off running. Shionlaughs, grabs a snowball, and gives chase.

 A/N: Thanks, friend!! I am certainly down for more NezuShi fic!Thanks for the prompt, and I hope you enjoyed! And I hope you also have a lovely day/night! =D

[hi-im-secretly-satan]

O Tannenbaum

Fandom: No.6 Pairing: NezuShi Word count: 1956 Warnings: Major character death, depression Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17184608 Summary: Post reunion. Nezumi died and Shion is left all alone. His life has become an endless cycle of waking up alone, surviving another day and going to back to bed. Karan's heart aches and in an attempt to cheer him up, she decides to help him decorate his place for Christmas. Written for the No.6 Secret Santa 2018 on tumblr. Notes: The fic I wrote for @allendraws​ for the No.6 Secret Santa! I’m allowed to post it to my own blog now so here it is! Amazing art by the lovely @musiusi​!

It has been five months since Nezumi had died.

That’s what he was told. He had not even realised. Since his light had left his life every day had been the same. He woke up when morning had already turned to afternoon. His pillow would no longer be wet with tears, like it had been when he had first fallen to despair. He had already cried so much, his cheeks were dry and sensitive and his eyes were left red-rimmed and burning. There was nothing left but dull, aching nothingness. He would lie there in a bed that was too big for just one person; too cold, too foreign without Nezumi sleeping soundly next to him. The room was eerily quiet without his rhythmic breathing to soothe his weary heart, his arms itched to curl around the body missing next to him. If he managed to drag himself out of bed he would try to nibble on some of the fresh breads his mother had left in his living room, huddling under the blanket on the couch and staring into the distance. On days when the pain wasn’t as crippling, he would try to take a shower. It never really amounted to much. He usually ended up on the bathroom floor, the shampoo bottles knocked over and dry sobs wrecking his body. That was what had become of his life. Some days it was just nothingness, other days were a dull ache, but there was always the ever-present, suffocating loneliness.

-

It was rare but not uncommon to find his mother in the living room when he finally managed to get out of bed, so Shion wasn’t surprised to see her when he stumbled into the room. What was uncommon, however, was the small potted pine next to her. She looked up from her book when she heard her son come in and smiled. “Good afternoon sweetheart,” she said softly, not commenting on his disheveled and greasy appearance.

Shion rubbed his eyes, looking from his mom to the tree. “Hey mom. Why do you have a tree?”

Karan closed her book. “Oh honey, I thought it would be nice to help you decorate your place. Christmas is coming up after all.”

Christmas… Was it that time of the year already? Shion stared at the tree. He’d have to go see if the lovely lady from the flower shop already sold poinsettias. He had forgotten to buy them last year and the disappointed look on Nezumi’s face when he had to break the news that they were all sold out hurt more than he had expected. He had forgotten to place his order again this year; he hoped she still had them in stock. He couldn’t bear to disappoint Nezumi again.

Realisation hit him like a punch to the gut. Disappointing Nezumi was impossible.

Nezumi was gone.

��Shion, are you all right?” His mother’s concerned voice sounded so far away. Shion blinked, trying to clear his vision. His eyes burned and his lungs felt like they were on fire. Nezumi was gone. Nezumi was gone. He swallowed painfully and he clutched his shirt, right over his aching heart. Slowly, the room came back into focus and he saw his mother watching him carefully, no longer in her chair but standing right in front of him. It was only then that he felt the light but supportive weight of her hand on his shoulder.

He took a long shuddering breath and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He wiped his eyes, gritting his teeth as made his already aggravated skin sting, and looked up at her, giving her a watery smile. “I’m fine.”

Karan watched him for a few more seconds, not trusting his words. She knew him well enough to know when he was lying; he was her son after all. His eyes were filled with anguish; anguish she recognised only too well. She had seen those very same eyes whenever she had looked in the mirror after Shion was born and his father had left them.

“If you say so,” she said slowly. She pressed a loving kiss on his forehead. “I’ll go make us some tea. Would you get the decorations from the storage room?”

Shion sniffed and nodded. “Okay. Thanks mom.”

-

A quick shower, some rummaging in the storage room and a hot cup of tea later they found themselves in the living room again. The tree was propped up on a cloth-covered stand in the corner of the room and three boxes of christmas decorations stood next to the salon table. Karan knelt down in front of one and opened the lid. “Are there any specific pieces you want to hang?” She asked as she searched through the contents to see if there was anything she liked.

Shion slowly joined her on the floor and pulled another box close. “There are some ceramic mice that Nezumi liked,” he said tentatively as he opened his box. Every year they had stood proudly on the fireplace. He wasn’t sure if he should put them up again this time though. This entire apartment reminded him so much of Nezumi already, he wasn’t sure if he could take even more memories of him.

Karan paused her digging and shot her son another look. The distant look in his eyes frightened her. She had decided on this plan in an attempt to cheer him up, but she was starting to doubt whether this was a good idea after all. Trying to bring a smile on his face again, she held up a box of lights. “Let’s start with the lights, shall we? It’d be harder to put them on if we saved them for later.”

-

Stringing in the lights was considerately easier with his mother than it used to be with Nezumi, Shion found. Unlike Nezumi, she listened to his input and put the strings where Shion wanted them, even if he didn’t say much. He was trying though, for her sake more than his own. He was trying to stay in the present but his thoughts kept going back last year, and the year before that, and the year before that. How he and Nezumi would get in each other’s way and bicker about over what branches the strings should go.

A clap of Karan’s hands and her gleeful “There!” shook him from his thoughts. The tree beamed with light, the strings evenly divided over the branches. It was clear she had an eye for detail. Shion forced a smile. “It looks good, mom.”

She lovingly ruffled his hair and went back to her cardboard box to find decorations to put on the tree. After a moment Shion followed. Knelt in front of the box, he mindlessly rummaged through the contents. He found a case of fragile glass baubles; Nezumi had gone out to buy them after he had dropped and shattered the last baubles they had left from previous accidents in the years prior. He found a set of snowy ceramic houses. There were still some chocolates in one of them. Their neighbour, Ms. Fumiko, had gifted it to them three years ago. Nezumi thought they were hideous, but Shion had still put them under the tree to showcase them. After all, it would be disrespectful not to use a present someone had taken the time and money to gift them. There was a small plush snowman that Shion had found in a shop and gifted to Nezumi. Although he had pretended he didn’t like it, Shion had caught him petting it multiple times.

He numbly walked back and forth between the pile of decorations and the tree, carefully filling the branches. Baubles that used to break when Shion accidentally stepped on them during a spontaneous make out session, reindeer that Nezumi used to scoff at, plastic flowers that Nezumi liked, and red and silver tinsels that Nezumi used to sling around his shoulders as he pranced and danced like a diva, singing in his crystal clear voice.

Before long the tree was filled and stood proudly and colourfully, the branches hanging low, heavy with all the decorations. Shion stared at it until the lights became blurry. Last year he had stood at this very place. Nezumi had circled his arms around his waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. They had stood there and admired their (admittedly messy) handiwork, simply enjoying the moment. Shion’s growling stomach had ruined the mood and with a laugh Nezumi had offered to order take-out.

Karan opened the third box and her face lit up. “Oh! Shion, there’s wreaths in here! We should hang some on the doors!”

Shion smiled tiredly. “Yeah, that sounds nice.” He could feel his energy draining. Reliving memories of better times was taking its toll. He watched as his mother excitedly picked a big wreath and went off to hang it on the front door. Now he was alone and he no longer had to uphold his façade of seeming okay, he let himself drop on the couch, limbs heavy and heart weary. He closed his eyes and let out a long and shuddering breath. Keep it together, he told himself. It’s only for a little longer.

Still, he was unable to deny he was a little curious about what was in the box that had made his mother so enthusiastic. Hesitantly he got off the couch and peered inside.

-

“Shion?! Shion, what’s wrong?!”

Karan had rushed back into the room when she heard an agonising scream come from inside. She found her son on the floor, hunched over and crying like a wounded animal. He tried to answer but no words came out. Only loud wails, sobs that tore through his entire body. He clutched the mistletoe to his chest like it was his very life source.

Nezumi. Nezumi, Nezumi, Nezumi.

Nezumi walking into the room with two plates of dinner.

Nezumi lying on the couch and reading Dickens’ Christmas Carols.

Nezumi tracing his scar and kissing him all over.

Nezumi waiting in the door post to kiss him under the mistletoe.

Another scream ripped from his throat. He was alone. So alone. Of all the times Nezumi could have died when he saved Shion from No.6, when they lived in the West Block, when they got caught in the Manhunt, when they infiltrated the Correctional Facility, when he had gone to travel and come back, he hadn’t been killed a single time. He had survived and come out stronger and more beautiful than he was before. Shion had thought he had lost him when he had left him to go on his travels. The relief he felt when he found Nezumi in his room again four years ago had been a euphoria he had never felt before. They both had had so many chances to die, but they had made it through everything life had thrown at them. He had always known Death would eventually come to claim Nezumi’s life, but after being spared so many times he had not expected to happen for a long time.

The years they had spent together were too short, interrupted as a stupid inattentive driver hit Nezumi with his car as he was crossing the street. He could still see the blood on the asphalt when he closed his eyes.

Suddenly all the memories, the pain and the rage had come to a tipping point and he was spilling over. He vaguely felt warm arms circling around him—the wrong arms, his body screamed—and he buried his face in his mother’s chest. “Nezumi!” He cried, his grip on Karan’s sweater almost strong enough to tear it. “Nezumi, Nezumi, why…”

Why did you leave me again?

[hcpefulmarshmallow]

Some Canon Stuff & Observations About Komaeda From Island Mode

--Because I have this list, and now you do too.

General:

Once he’s decided to spend time with somebody, he’s not very picky about what they do together. That said, he seems to prefer activities that can keep him engaged with that person, as opposed to singular activities, even ones he usually enjoys, like reading. He’s also not quite as fond of movies and the like, again because you’re engaging with something else and not each other.

Whenever he talks about something being dangerous, he’s considerably more concerned about anyone else who may be hurt as a result over himself. This is probably due to his bad luck targeting his loved ones before it targets him. Plus, you know, he’s a good boy. He cares.

He kind of jokes around a lot in a non life-and-death situation. At least, with Hajime. It’s heartwarming. I love his playful side.

He seems to struggle with eating around other people. This may be due to a lack of appetite as is a symptom of his illness, but he could also be self conscious, or nervous about his luck interfering somehow. He does talk about the many dangers of various foods throughout his island mode time.

A lot of the fear he expresses tends to be very...specific. He’s not afraid of the thing, he’s afraid of this, this and this that could result from the thing going horribly wrong in the most zany of ways.

He won’t waste the term “good luck” on silly, insignificant things. Since it offsets all the bad in his life, presumably he wants it to be special.

He doesn’t like unfulfilling conclusions. They’re wishy-washy, and leave him uncertain about what’s to come. This makes a lot of sense - the only consistency in his life is that good luck will follow bad, and vice versa. If he can’t tell which is which, he’ll just be blindsided.

He is capable of recognising hope in himself, and what it takes to find that is one-on-one human interaction, and feeling like someone actually wants to be with him. Of course, this isn’t only a good thing. The downside is that, if there’s hope within him, then erasing himself means erasing his hope. It makes his own life precious, too. (I’m not crying, you are.)

Park:

He’s more comfortable in open areas, since it’s easier to spot potential hazards.

He gets sick of the same scenery day in, day out pretty quickly.

He seems to believe in hell. Or at least, entertain the notion. Oh, dear.

Despite calling zombies and ghosts “unrealistic” (re: move theatre) he does appear to believe in curses, and some form of magic to some degree. The line there isn’t really explored.

For all his talk about how he wants something to happen, he acts pretty darn happy with the relaxing environment the island provides. He even says he wishes it could last forever.

He kind of likes the statue in Jabberwock Park that exists when they arrive.

Beach:

Just like everything else in life, ocean = danger.

He likes fishing, mostly because it’s not very dangerous and there’s still potential for something amazing to happen.

He really does not like running.

He kind of wishes he could have darker skin.

His skin is very sensitive and he doesn’t enjoy direct sunlight.

He likes building sandcastles.

He remarks that the game Capture The Flag “takes me back”. Perhaps he used to play as a kid?

Library:

Everywhere else, if you make noises about not enjoying yourself or wanting to leave, Ko agrees that you can, though usually reluctantly. In the library, however, he just suggests you go your separate ways. Nobody separates the boy from his books, I guess.

As mentioned way above, he prefers activities with people that keep them both engaged. However, in the library, apparently that too goes out the window because he has all the self control of a kid in a candy store around those books.

“There’s nothing better than having too many books,” apparently.

Even Ko didn’t think they’d need to survive badly enough that they’d have to burn the books. He’s thought of curses and divine intervention, but burning down a library is too horrifying, I guess.

When he stays put and reads, he isn’t affected by his luck so much, making it the most peaceful way to pass time.

Being in a quiet place with someone he likes makes him nervous.

Studying isn’t his favourite thing to do, but he’ll enjoy it more with a studdy buddy. (That’s actually adorable, thanks, I hate it.)

During hide and seek, nobody ever finds him until the very end, which actually makes him depressed.

D o n ‘ t i n s u l t t h e l i b r a r y a r o u n d t h e b o y .

Movie Theater:

He doesn’t like eating during movies. He finds it distracting, and would rather focus on the screen.

He likes the idea of filming memories and watching them back later. He even states that he’d like to have some of the security footage as a souvenir.

He likes the front row for immersion, but gets sore easily while watching movies. In particular, he tends to strain his back and neck.

He canonically falls asleep during boring movies. I can’t even with this guy.

As much as he likes feeling relaxed, situations that are relaxing make him nervous. Presumably because he’s waiting for something bad to strike.

Types of movies he does not like: realistic horror, “panicky” movies, anything that reflects his own life and experiences.

Types of movies he does like: mysteries of course, unrealistic horror and movies with themes he’ll almost certainly never have to deal with firsthand.

Amusement Park:

The carousel is his favourite ride, because it’s relaxing and not dangerous.

“This is Nezumi Castle after all, so we need to ride the mouse first!” - Yep, he’s That Guy.

Unsurprisingly, rollercoasters are a strong contender for least favourite.

Sometimes he laughs when he’s surprised though it doesn’t mean he’s having fun, and he’s aware of it enough to acknowledge it.

He doesn’t like haunted houses and presumably other things designed solely to scare. He admits to feeling fear in his daily life, so why would he then go seek out more, I suppose.

He has been to an amusement park only once with his parents, but he’s always been keen to go back. He’s very much more like an excited little kid in this location, so this is probably a big thing for him. Perhaps he wants to revisit one of the few good memories he has as a child.

He gets very upset if you suggest leaving. He’s like a kicked puppy. Haji, don’t be mean.

Military Base:

Unsurprisingly, he is a ball of STRESS here. Throughout all three possible sets of dialogue - so 9 potential options - he has only one Best Option in the military base, and even that leads to him pulling a typical Nagito, and getting worried over some very specific possibilities.

Still, he does kind of want to explore - but even upon admitting that, will concede that you’re basically asking for trouble by sticking around the base.

He considers the warship the least dangerous thing to ride. However, he still worries about it, and is very specifically afraid of being stuck in the ship’s cabin with no way out. Actually the “no way out” theme is a recurring thing for him, come to think of it. And he does admit to preferring open spaces. I wonder if there’s a little claustrophobia in him?

DON’T TAKE HIM NEAR THE FIGHTER JET. A lot of fans have speculated about his fear of flying, but personally I take it as canon. And it’s no wonder, really, when you look at his life.

When asked if he wants to look for fuel, definitely more safe than tanks or warships, he is more concerned it might catch fire than anything. Fire is a common danger, and he’s probably faced it many, many times.

He doesn’t like the idea of actively looking for weapons. It seems even Nagito’s above the outright stupidity of mixing his luck with things that are designed to be dangerous - you-know-what notwithstanding, of course. That was a special circumstance.

Shot Through The Heart:

When spending time with another person, he positively agonizes over what to say to them, to make their time with him more enjoyable.

He mentions that he wouldn’t even mind if Hajime verbally abused him, probably as long as he was having fun doing it.

He seems relieved when Hajime tries to take that pressure off him. He really does like the idea of being able to be quiet for a while and not feeling like he has to constantly contribute.

He takes being insulted to his face well, and shuts right up, for the most part. Even so, let’s not.

[sinewho]

I went to visit my father in another city so I had a beautiful 6hs bus drive to endure. In that time the only thing I did was daydream about my otp, of course

So I wrote a bunch of situations for the orphanage au I mentioned before, its basically me telling you about a thirsty shion.

Shion wants to touch Nezumi. He can’t help it. He’s aware of Nezumi’s every move, knows when Nezumi is close to him because he can feel it, he feels Nezumi’s warmth trough his clothes. He’s bursting at the seams with want. To touch. To feel. To have. 

So Shion decides to see how much of this want he can satisfy. He isn’t planning to scare Nezumi away so he starts small.  

“Hey, can I brush your hair? It looks pretty tangled” he says. Nezumi allows it like it’s no big deal, but of course it is. Shion takes his time and does it soft and slow. Wants Nezumi to enjoy this as much as he does.

He takes it a step further.   They’re reading in the couch, the room is pretty crowded with kids running around, playing on the floor, watching an old tv that doesn’t work properly and only shows things in purple and green.  

They’re sitting next to each other, reading the same book. Shoulders touching, book balanced between Shion’s right knee and Nezumi’s left. Even though they’ve been reading for half an hour Shion doesn’t have a clue what the book is about. How could he with Nezumi’s scent filling his nose and Nezumi’s soft breathing only a few inches from his ears.  

How can Shion focus on a book when he’s 15 years old and helplessly in love with his best friend.

He moves his hands from his lap and place it on Nezumi’s left thigh. His fingers curves following the shape of Nezumi’s leg and his hand feels on fire. He swallows a lump in his throat and feels the fire from his hand travel all the way to his lower belly. Shion takes a look i through the corner of his eye but can’t read a thing from Nezumi’s expression, cool and collected and unresponsive. Can’t he hear Shion’s heart roaring in his chest?

Nezumi turns the page.

Shion likes to play hide and seek with the younger kids.  

“More like you beg them to let you play” Nezumi scolds from his bed. Shion tries to defend himself. “You know that’s not how it is”. “Then how is it?   "I know they have more fun when a grown up plays with them, it’s more challenging”   When Nezumi’s laughter resonates through the room Shion stops folding the clothe in his hands to look at him, his best ‘I’m not pleased with this’ face in place. “What’s wrong with you? Why are you laughing?” “Did you just called yourself a grown up? Give me a break. How old are you? Like 12?” Nezumi’s laughter dying to a smirk decorating his lips “Shut up. I’m as old as you. Do me a favor and finish folding this so I can go with the kids. See you later” the last word emphasized with the door slamming close.

Five minutes later Shion is running down a hall to find a place to hide from a small but relentless 6 year old.   He’s passing next to a door when suddenly it opens and a hand grabs him from the arm and pulls him to a room. Only that it’s not just a hand but Nezumi’s hand and it’s not a room but a really cramped closet.

At that time it occurred to him that maybe Nezumi wants to touch him too because why else would he place a hand to Shion’s mouth while the other secured him in place by the waist. Why would Nezumi step closer to him, lean down just enough to touch his cheek to Shion’s.   “I’m helping you hide” Nezumi whispers to the crook of his neck. Shion nods and leans to Nezumi’s touch. Melts against his chest and hopes this moment never ends.   Nezumi moves his head to the left, connects his lips to Shion’s neck for one…two… three seconds, before leaving the room without saying another word, leaving Shion burning up from head to toes.

A heat wave is hitting the city and there’s no escape from it. It’s an afternoon after school and they’re supposed to be doing homework but instead they’re laying on the floor on Nezumi’s room.   The wood feels cool for the first 5 minutes before it absorbs the heat of their skin. They lay with their backs to the floor looking up to the old high ceiling, they’re drench in sweat and it shows in the shine of the skin and the stains in their clothes.  

Shion’s fingers are lightly grazing Nezumi’s palm. He’s dying to hold his hand. His chest aches with want. He want touch all of Nezumi, he want to kiss him. He wants Nezumi to know how in love he is.  

Shion moves his head to the right to see Nezumi’s profile. 'How can someone be so beautiful’ he thinks. The boy seems ready to fall asleep at any moment, soft breathing, lips slightly open, hair almost covering his eyes. The light in the room is just right, some rays of afternoon sun leaks through the blinds. Shion can’t stand this closeness a second longer. He kisses Nezumi’s shoulder, doesn’t have to move much to do so, no harm done. Nezumi doesn’t move so he does it again, this time the kiss is a few seconds longer.  

Shion’s looks at Nezumi expecting to meet a questioning look, but instead the other closes his eyes and sighs through his nose.   The third kiss requires some movement from Shion’s part, he leans on his forearm and kisses closer to Nezumi’s collarbone.

Shion feels sweat running down his back and his heart it’s beating like crazy in his chest.

Before he notices it he’s hooking a finger in the collar of Nezumi’s shirt. Moving the fabric to reveal more of his collarbone. Dipping his head and drawing a line with his tongue. It occurs to him how skinny Nezumi is, his bones easily noticeable under his skin. That’s a dangerous though because now he’s picturing Nezumi without a shirt and that’s proven problematic in the past.

Shion moves from Nezumi’s shoulder to his neck, kissing as he goes, breathing him in. Only this time the shy kisses are a thing of the past, replaced by hungry open mouth kisses. Nezumi’s skin is wet with sweat and he tastes salty and heavenly, his chest solid under Shion’s palm.  

Next thing he knows Nezumi has his hand in his hair, pulling him closer. Moving his head so their lips can meet. Nezumi’s breathing hard, panting into Shion’s mouth, looking straight into his eyes. Shion’s cuts the distance between them and now they’re kissing, really kissing, there’s tongue and exchange of breaths and it’s slow and languid and Shion has never been more turned on in his life. His hand is fanned on Nezumi’s cheek, preventing him from going anywhere.  

When Nezumi moans in his mouth, a voiceless groan deep in his throat, Shion is brought to reality. The high is over. He moves back to disentangle their lips, and for a few second Nezumi follows him, as if losing this contact is too much for him to bear. Shion sits back and clears his throat, he feels hot all over and is sure his face is as red as it can be. Nezumi’s looking at him, wide eyes and breathing hard. He doesn’t want this silence to extant for too long, someone needs to say something right now. “So, em, Nezumi, listen. The thing is… I’m sorry I kissed you… like that… I don’t know what came over me, you’re so beautiful… but that’s not an excuse, I’m sorry, I’m just very in love with you. I hope you don’t have a problem with that because I’ve been in love with you for years now and it would suck if you had a problem with it. Can you say something and stop looking at me like that?” Words flow from his mouth like a waterfall. Stuttering and being a general mess.

Nezumi stands and helps Shion do the same, he grabs Shion’s cheek and plants a soft kiss to his lips, almost non-existent. Nothing compared to Shion’s outburst of a few moments ago.

Nezumi smiles at him, happy and careless and honest, and Shion knows everything will be fine.

[of-rats-and-asters]

No.6: FBI agent AU

"He was just one more agent made to spy on some nerdy students to protect the world against those dangerous, murderous terrorists wanting to overthrow the government. The thought made him grin even more. If only they knew. "

In which Nezumi really doesn't give a shit about rules or morality. He does care about Shion though.

Nezumi was turning the spoon inside his coffee mug. Not that he needed to. He always drank his coffee black, without sugar. He didn’t even like the taste, really. He just despised sugared coffee even more. However he loved the music the spoon made against the sides of the mug. It was a sound that reverberated through him, a life-long memory that he didn’t even remember where it came from. And it didn’t matter. He just enjoyed the damn noise of the spoon hitting against the earthenware of his mug.  The coffee was mostly there to avoid social interactions though. The others at the office would come at some point in the night and cheerfully offer him “Hey Nezumi, would you come share a cup with us? We’re at the machine” and he would flash them a smile, you know, one of those polite-borderline-sexy smiles and raise his own steaming mug of bitter beverage and go “Thanks guys I have everything I need right now.” And that would be good. They would let him for a few more hours. He would also look more like a normal person. He supposed it was more normal to keep awoken in the whole night at work thanks to coffee. Nezumi wasn’t really normal, he supposed. He preferred working at night. He actually moved around the night the way his fellows gesticulated in the day. He was just like the rodent he was named after, in the end. Therefore, it was only midnight and he was perfectly alert.  A sudden sound broke his daydreaming.

“Hey Shion are you around?” A girl appeared on his screen, all deformed because webcams were like that, they distorted reality, and made people look ugly. Nezumi always laughed when he saw all those posts on social Medias about “NSA agents spying people’s computer”. If the guys only knew what he was bound to see every night... The girl leaned forward, scrutinizing her own computer screen before sighing. The “Shion” she was likely referring to wasn’t there yet, apparently. Safu shook her head before taking something next to the computer – Nezumi couldn’t see what. There were limits to his power after all. Then he heard some tapping on her keyboard. She was fast, gosh. Hey girl no need to rush like that. He though. And he stayed motionless for a few more minutes, observing this stranger tapping furiously like her life depended of it.

“WHAT THE FUCK NEZUMI!!” Woops. Nezumi quickly composed himself and tried to wear a neat, confident smile as he turned around his chair. “Hello, Inukashi.” His colleague was already glaring at him, there was no need to keep pretending anymore. Nezumi’s smile disappeared just as quickly as he had summoned it. “Get the hell out of my monitor, rat.” Nezumi smirked. Nezumi wasn’t his real name of course. Like everyone here, he was bearing a code name and no one here knew what his real name was. He was just one more agent made to spy on some nerdy students to protect the world against those dangerous, murderous terrorists wanting to overthrow the government. The thought made him grin even more. If only they knew. But right now, his biggest concern was the colleague standing – if this was the word: they were so small that Nezumi was almost looking up at them from his chair – in front of him, looking very furious, and very ready to punch him. “This. Is. My. Seat.” Nezumi had to repress a chuckle – that would most likely have signed his right for a slap on the face and he didn’t want to bother with this right now.

“It is, indeed, your seat…” he said swiftly, as he got up and gestured toward it. “Properly kept warm during your absence… But what were you doing anyway?” He winked at the other. He knew where Inukashi had gone, and it wasn’t like the other one was going to admit it. Rushing off work because he saw a stray dog on the street wasn’t exactly allowed, and they both knew it. Inukashi eyed suspiciously at him as he slowly sat on the chair, before waving Nezumi away. “I don’t even want to know what the fuck you were doing.”

Nezumi couldn’t hope for a better way to end the conversation, as he took his mug and returned to his seat, and his currently black screen – he didn’t have to check on it, he knew it wasn’t time yet. Sipping some of the now-lukewarm coffee, he observed carefully as Inukashi was grumbling, changing the set up on his monitor, and eventually going back to work. Then Nezumi turned back to his own business. He was supposed to put on a surveillance on certain individuals tonight. Most of them were asleep already though. He didn’t even bother checking their webcams or internet browsers, they were long gone; One of them, Nezumi had laughed at the sight a couple hours ago, had gone through his risible routine for the night: looking for illegal porn on some creepy website, completely unaware that all his actions were perfectly recorded by the FBI, all neatly stashed in a folder with his ID number on it; After some proper masturbation the guy had immediately gotten to erase his historic – without even going to wash his hands or something first. Gross. It always made Nezumi laugh, how stupid they could be. Those people with their internet historic, like if it would change anything really. This guy, with his dirty pants and his fast breathing, he wasn’t aware he was cautiously watched upon. And not only by the FBI, because really, in the end did it really matter? It wasn’t like the FBI gave a second thought on this creep’s porn preferences. No, the real threat, here was a very specific malware installed on his computer. Nezumi had noticed it the very moment he had checked on the monitor, and he really regretted he would never see the day where the guy would notice it too. Nezumi knew very well what this malware did. After all, he had been the one creating it. That’s what he did, sometimes during his free time. Creating ransomwares and selling them to some low-key criminals. It was easy cash, and always a nice little add-up for his big project. And it was so easy to erase his tracks.

Nezumi was cut from his thoughts by Inukashi calling out to him.

“Hey guys we have a bloke there, he’s drunk and all. I think he passed out.” Nezumi got up, walked towards Inukashi and leaned on the other’s screen. He noticed that, indeed, a man had passed out, looking completely wasted, on their computer keyboard.

“Well. Why would we care?” Like, seriously, what happened all across the country wasn’t their problem.

“We can’t let a guy die like this?!”

Nezumi threw one more look at the disgusting well-in-his-forties man on the screen. What a waste of flesh, seriously. He wanted to puke. A quick glance at the images currently running on his monitor showed some clearly-illegal underage porn. Disgusting indeed.

“Hey cool down, man, we’re the fucking FBI, not an emergency center.”

Inukashi gave him that look. That kind of judgemental stare and Nezumi rolled his eyes.

“Listen, kiddo –”

“Stop calling me that!” Inukashi could growl at him all they wanted, Nezumi was fully aware the brat was all bark and no teeth. He gave them a knowing look. “Maybe you tricked the FBI into believing you were 18 – maybe – but you won’t trick me.” And before the angry teen could keep on he added “What’s the guy’s name?” He quickly searched on the screen for the surveillance file. “Ahhhh…. Rikiga. I should have known better. You know why we look after him?” Inukashi shook his head weakly. They had gotten very pale all of a sudden. So pale Nezumi wondered how in the living hell they had hoped to keep their age a secret. And what this kid had so special that the FBI would actually hire them. Anyway. “He pimped children. See?” Nezumi took a careful step aside, both wanting to allow Inukashi a better view on the screen, and also wanting to get out of the way in case the younger vomited – which, according to their heavy gulping, could happen any time. Inukashi suddenly fled towards the toilets. Bingo.

Nezumi shrugged before sitting back in front of his own computer. Right in time, it seemed. The familiar silhouette appeared. Brown hair that he knew perfectly, by now, and a chestnut gaze that was deeply rooted in his memory. Even deeper than the song of spoons against mugs. Nezumi put on his headset. Shion was there, fumbling with his keyboard, in a rushed way that suggested his excitement. “Safu!! You there?” He called. Nezumi gave a quick check and noticed that Safu was indeed online. If Inukashi hadn’t set their monitor on some drunkard’s, he would have heard a voice in echo “Yeah I’m there. I have been waiting for so long, what were you doing?”

Shion’s face lit and he started babbling right away. Nezumi was considering tuning him off when something caught his attention. “I made a discovery. Like. An earth-shaking discovery, Safu!” Shion, true to himself, could barely hold still on his chair as he showed papers to the camera. Nezumi squinted. He had an idea what those papers told and if he was right…. “Safu, you remember this fire, fifteen years ago. The one which killed so many people in the forest. I made researches on it.” Oh No. Please tell me you didn’t. “Turns out it wasn’t what we thought it was.” No. “It wasn’t an accident, Safu.” Nezumi snapped. He didn’t have much time. Throwing himself at his computer, he furiously tapped at his keyboard. In a matter of minutes, everything would be set. On the corner of his eyes he noticed Inukashi getting out of the toilets, hand on their mouth and looking a little less white. Not the good time. Think. Think. THINK. Nezumi turned and unplugged all the phones around him. Hoping it would make him gain a few precious seconds. On his computer, he noticed Shion look of puzzlement… “What… Wait a minute, Safu… something just happened, I think my computer is glitched or something.” Shion’s computer wasn’t glitched. Nezumi knew perfectly well what was happening; at this very moment a tiny grey mouse with silver eyes had appeared on Shion’s screen. All connections were lost as the mouse would speak. “Don’t say a word. You need to get out of here. Now.” Nezumi spoke quickly to his mic, not even taking the time to check on Shion’s reaction. He imagined it well enough, after the amount of time spent watching over him. The widened eyes, the flushed cheeks and sharp inhale as he recognized the voice he hadn’t heard in so many years.

“What the fuck are you doing, Nezumi?” Nezumi threw a nasty glare at Inukashi. They had the decency to shut up as Nezumi was fumbling around. “Shion. Listen to me. Down your street, near the coffee shop. There’s a manhole. You go there. Right. Now.” Shion’s answer threw his headphones came as weak.

“Nez –”

“NOW!” On his screen, he saw Shion’s getting up suddenly, looking quickly around him. Nezumi wanted to punch the man, if he kept loosing time like this, they would be both lost. But Shion seemed to understand the shit he was in, because he suddenly took his papers, and left, not even taking a glance back. Turning to Inukashi, Nezumi growled “A word from you, and I will skin your dogs alive one by one before feeding them to my rats”. He supposed the message passed somehow as Inukashi stayed still, jaw hanging open, arms went limb and obviously not knowing what to do.  Nezumi didn’t have the luxury to dwell on it as he heard the clamour in his office. His co-workers were coming back from their break. It was now or never. Shoving Inukashi away, Nezumi ran to the window. He had chosen this office because it was located on the second floor. Months carefully preparing for this day. And now it was finally �� FINALLY – happening. Excitement and fear both pumped through his veins as Nezumi opened the window, jumped on the balcony of the first floor and swiftly made his way to the pavement below. His escape only took a few seconds. And now he knew he didn’t have a choice. He had to be quick. For the first time in many years, he ran so fast his breathing hurt and he tasted blood in his mouth. He didn’t know if his mind was playing tricks on him as he seemed to distinguish dark shadows pursuing him. But he was more lithe and faster than them. Certainly more used to it, too. Soon he was running crazily in the sewers. Soon he was engulfed in darkness, but he knew the area better than anyone. Soon he was able to make up the shape of a young boy ahead. Soon he knew it was only the beginning.

[writerofcreativity]

The Twelve Zodiac (Chapter 16)

(Author's note: Posting this early due to going to a flight for my sister's wedding.)

During the car ride.

"The two of you need to pretend that you're our dates. It's to make sure that no one will be suspicious about our true goal." Nagayuki spoke as he drives the car and keeps his eyes on the road.

Ryoka let out a sigh "more like you two will steal money while we're busy killing the Celestial Beasts. By the way, where is my Cockscomb? I need that to protect myself if I am being attacked." She said.

"The Rat boy will bring your weapon." Nagayuki informed "don't worry about getting yourselves dirty, we'll help out before we can collect all the money." He added.

"Since the two of you been to that place, how many Celestial Beasts are there?" Misaki looked at the two of them.

"A lot of them. There are some in cages and others tied to leashes like dogs." Takeyasu answered.

"No matter how much you two hate the idea, just pretend your their girlfriends. No one will think you two will kill the Celestial Beasts and when they are not looking, you have my permission to kick some asses." Tsugiyoshi spoke through the ear piece.

~~~

Back to the present.

The four of them are walking towards the entrance, trying to act casual but it's not working so well with the Chicken and Snake "ow! You stepped on my foot with your damn heels." Takeyasu spoke quietly "you keep pulling me." She retorted. It's like being partnered with Kanae, it's like the women naturally hate the younger Tatsumi.

"Both of you be quiet. If you keep squabbling like children then we'll get caught, try not to blow our covers." Nagayuki whispered to the two of them who are now fighting.

Ryoka is pinching the left side of Takeyasu's stomach and he in return is pulling her hair with his right hand. (My cousin told me it hurts being pinched there, so I decided to put this.)

"Let go of my hair." She said.

"First you let go of me." He said.

Nagayuki groaned "it's like when we were kids, ore-sama and my ototo were fighting for the last ice cream sandwich." He said.

"Let's stop them. I'll take Niwatori-san and you can take your brother." Misaki said which he did not complain. She grabs Ryoka's hand and pulled it away from the younger Tatsumi's flesh and Nagayuki grabs his brother's wrist, pulls it away but pulled some green hair.

"You two did showed up and bought actual dates." The four saw Fredrick walking towards them wearing a black suit and has a gun strapped to his belt.

"We didn't want to miss the blood bath and we want to bring these two ladies to enjoy the show." Takeyasu grinned, puts his arm around Ryoka's shoulders and she uses a fake smile to fool Fredrick.

Nagayuki nodded "they are excited to watch with us." He smiled.

"I wouldn't normally watch anyone getting beat up alone but with Nagayuki, I feel safe to watch it and enjoy it with my loved one." Misaki said with a smile, even though she hates it to watch another human duking it out against the other.

Fredrick smiled "that's great. Follow me and hopefully we don't miss the good parts." He said walks back with them following behind.

"Thank God he bought it." Ryoka's smile vanished when Fredrick turned his back on them.

"Luckily but we need to continue with this act to complete our parts." Misaki said.

~~~

"Sounds like they bought it." Navi spoke driving a truck with his team inside with their weapons.

"For now. Let's hope that those four can pull it off long enough for us to arrive." Tsugiyoshi said holds Ryoka's Cockscomb until they meet up.

Michio looked at him "As far as I know, those two are good at acting and along with the two brothers. I thought you used your ability to see how it would go." He said.

"My paths only works when I am there. Right now I can't guess what will happen because I am not with those four, I can only see that we are arriving to that place but looks like we have to fight along the way too." Tsugiyoshi replied, crossed his arms to his chest.

A loud screech echoed nearby. Everyone saw it, in the dark sky is a giant bat flapping its wings and dives towards them. "Navi!" Tsugiyoshi shouted "I'm on it!" He quickly turns the wheel to the left, making others moved to the left but successfully made the bat creature missed them.

"Inonoshishi-san, fire your bullets at it." The teenager commanded.

"No need to tell me twice, boy." She responded, points Aishuu and Inochigoi at the bat and fires at it but the creature is fast.

"You shall not interfere, Zodiacs!" The bat screamed at them. One of it's claws extended and strikes Navi from behind, piercing through his right shoulder causing the car to swerved.

Eiji withdrawn his saber and cuts the claw without any difficulty, allowing Navi to regain control of the vehicle to avoid crushing. Yoshimi grabs the talon and rips it out of the shoulder but causing blood to spray out "you need to let someone else drive this truck." He said "it's fine. Besides, there's another one in front of us." Navi responded.

They all thought that it is the bat creature but it is facing Toshiko who keeps on firing her guns at it. The one in front of them looked like a giant tree but more rotten and demonic looking, it stretches its tree branches at them. Eiji, Usagi, and Kanae use their weapons to cut down any branches being whipped at them.

"What the hell's going on over there?" Nagayuki asked through the earpiece.

"Nothing to be concerned. Focus on your part of the mission, we'll handle things from our side." Navi told him, as his hands gripped onto the steering wheel just to get over the pain.

Tsugiyoshi sighed "if only we have Snake's and Dragon's weapons then we can kill this pathetic tree celestial beast." He said.

"Sucks for you guys not having us there." Takeyasu spoke.

The teenager ignores that "well, how are things at your side?" He asked dodged a stray branch that came at him when Kanae cut it.

"Everything is fine for now, Nezumi-kun. So far no one suspect a thing about us." Misaki answered.

"We'll have these two investigate. They will have to be careful because these people are getting ready for a blood bath." Nagayuki said.

There was no need for an explanation, they knew that there will be a bloody fight and only one can survive, it's a kill or be killed situation. "Don't blow your covers yet. Wait for us to arrive and we'll fight as a team." Tsugiyoshi ordered.

"Understood." Both brothers and women replied.

~~~

Both women had been seperated and are walking around the building, it is very clean and the lobby is filled with other people who wants to see the blood bath, strangely there are foods and waiters serving them drinks like a dinner party. It is unsettling.

"I think those two brothers won't lift their fingers after we got separated." Ryoka sighed.

"Just because we fight for money does not mean we have black hearts." Nagayuki said heard from his earpiece.

"Now now, let's not argue. We can't afford to do it in the middle of our work." Misaki said prevented an argument from breaking out and noticed a huge painting of a woman but there was something odd about it, she touched it.

Ryoka sighed "what are you two idiots doing anyway?" She asked.

[distopea]

@nezumivc103221

"Sit," Nezumi commands and pushes into Mads chest; the stormy grey of his eyes offers no compromise, and as soon as Mads' ass meets the chair, Nezumi is straddling his lap. He smiles and leans to Mads' ear.

"I saw you—I saw you watching me—" Nezumi whispers, voice like honey dripping at a tip of a blade. Sweet and thick, but dangerous. He presses a finger against Mads' lips.

"Na-ah. Not your place to talk now." He shakes his head, the smile on his lips and the light in his eyes darkens with nefarious intent. It's hard to tell if his face is that of a man or a woman, but Mads doesn't have the time to explore because Nezumi leans and kisses him.

His lips capture Mads' in a passionate and heartfelt kiss. He kisses thoroughly, like pouring water down a parched man's throat, and his hands slide over Mads' body. He palms Mads' shoulders, then his chest. Nezumi's fingers dip underneath the jacket, and before Mads' knows it, the tip of his own blade is in Nezumi's hand, pointed underneath his chin.

Nezumi retreats, licking his lips and tasting Mads' desperate confusion. "Put your hands behind the chair if you want me to continue," he orders again, holding unyielding eye contact.

As soon as Mads obliges—if he does—Nezumi taps his cheek with the flat side of the knife. "Good boy."

He shifts on Mads' lap, grinding against him and getting more comfortable. A content purr vibrates in his chest, and he takes in the view of Mads' frustrated expression.

"I think we'll both enjoy this," Nezumi muses casually and affectionately slides the knife down Mads' neck, down his chest and in between their bodies. His free hand takes a handful of Mads' unruly strands and tugs, baring Mads' throat. "—but I think I'll enjoy myself first," he whispers against Mads' skin, nibbling gently at his pulse.

"Keep your hands where they are," Nezumi threatens and pulls at his hair.

Preemptively, the knife comes back under Mads' throat—just in case he gets any ideas.

"I'm in charge now," Nezumi smiles against Mads' neck and licks along the side of it.

The order resonated inside his ears like a fire invading his guts. Before Mads could even think about it, his ass met the chair, and there was a rather dangerous man straddling his lap. He swallowed thick and automatically clipped one of his hands against his hips, quite eager to understand what was going on, and why Nezumi felt in such a power play. Well, asking was prohibited it seemed, because as soon as he opened his mouth, his breathing disappeared in a huff, a finger planted right in front of his lips.

Nezumi just forbade him to talk.

Little minx. There was a dark cloud of frustration invading Mads’ blue irises, while his hand on Nezumi’s hip slightly squeezed his flesh harder. He was somehow pissed off he couldn’t properly express himself, but also horribly turned on, and Nezumi was certainly very aware of it. He didn’t fight back when he leaned down to kiss him, fact was, Mads was hoping to at least receive a bit of comfort through that game. He shamelessly opened his mouth, his tongue immediately invading the other one’s cavity, eager to caress, swirl and play with it. Maybe Nezumi was just toying him a bit and that was it. He could almost suffocate for air, and while he believed he still had a bit of control, Nezumi was depriving him of his satisfaction. He made terrible assumptions; Nezumi clearly had plans. 

“Tsk.” Mads clicked his tongue when he noticed the blade, and just like that, Nezumi slid his second order. Everything inside of him was pushing him to squeeze and twist that wrist in order to retrieve his knife, but deep down within, he didn’t find it too unpleasant. Slowly, he abandoned his grip on Nezumi’s hip, his second hand joining the motion while he placed them both behind his back, allowing that vixen to manhandle him. He probably knew that Mads could be disciplined enough to handle this, yet, Mads knew himself enough to be aware he couldn’t be such a good boy until the very end.

Nezumi was playing with his nerves, grinding his hips where he could perfectly sense the bulge of Mads’ pants, his desire quite showing despite the frustration printed over his features. Oh yes, he was pissed off for sure. He could only stare at Nezumi with frustrated eyes, clenching his fingers behind his back so he wasn’t totally losing control either. That was fucking unfair. If he wanted more, he had to behave; he knew it. That was even harder when he could perfectly remember the way Nezumi could moan under his touch, bewitched by the imperious pace of his hips.

Mads swallowed his spit, forcing his patient side to handle Nezumi’s provocations. He thought that he could lower that tension invading his nerves, and when he was certain he was about to master a certain calmness within his chest, Nezumi decided to tug on his black hair, the cold blade of his own knife meeting that place under his chin. Their eyes met and Mads knew it; he would avenge himself sooner and later, just for the sake of wiping that expression away from Nezumi’s features. He hissed and clenched his fists harder. He was enjoying himself for sure, but it was hard to fight his urge to roll his arm around Nezumi’s waist and plaster him against the mattress, pinning his hands down and ripping his pants off. The very thought only sent more blood to his crotch.

Dammit, he really wanted to fuck him now. He was hot. 

“Fine. Enjoy it all alone.” He hissed; his voice was low but terribly provoking as well. Nezumi wanted him to break and he wanted to survive, to tease him back with the only source of power he had. He could kiss him back, slide his lips against his jawline when he was kissing his neck, whimper under his touch but Mads decided to keep all these sounds for himself, locked behind his sealed lips and his focused features. Yet, when Nezumi smiled again, Mads could only cock his head aside, visibly aroused.

“For now.” He corrected with a real smirk, before he slightly spread his leg and just roll his hips for a second, enough for Nezumi to understand he would comply, yes, but he would thoroughly seek for his own victory as soon as he would break those invisible chains restraining his motions.  

[no6secretsanta]

I had a fun time writing a Nezushi AU and playing with the idea of what their characters would be in a completely normal sort of environment. I’m hoping you enjoy this one-shot. Happy holidays @liebe-dear!

- @fairysdarkestnight

______________________________________________________________________________

Nezumi sat alone in a crowded cafe, tapping his fingers restlessly against the tabletop as outdated and overplayed Christmas music played through speakers placed behind the counter. Time was ticking by even slower than usual, and even his book wasn’t holding his attention the way it normally would. Macbeth was one of his favorites, and he hadn’t even finished the first act yet.

A hand reached out and pulled out the chair across from Nezumi, startling him from his book. “Hey sorry I’m late - it’s Eve, right?”

A mousey young man with unkempt brown hair sat across the table as Nezumi put his book to the side. “So. You’re Shion?”

Wild nodding. Damn the kid looks like he’s a bobblehead.

“So are you into theater at all?”

Shion shook his head. “No, I haven’t been able to see a show. I think theater is one of the greatest art forms of our time, but I’ve never even read a play.”

“Okay kid, thanks for coming out. Guess there wasn’t really a point in meeting up.” Nezumi pushed back his chair, picked up his book and turned to leave. But a hand reached out and grabbed his wrist, halting Nezumi in his steps. “Please, give me just five minutes. I’ve heard your singing when I walk by the theater and I wanted to get to know you more. I’m drawn to you.”

Nezumi shook him off and placed a hand against Shion’s cheek. His voice pitched high, he crooned a few notes. “Be calm child. You don’t know me. You shouldn’t be using words such as that to someone you’ve never met. One might take that as a love confession.”

Large brown eyes looked up at the actor. “If I say I loved you, would that make you stay? Because I’ve seen you rehearsing. I’ve heard the passion in your voice as you recite your lines. And I love the person that I see who gives everything into a performance. That’s why when I saw your profile, I immediately swiped right.”

The kid’s crazy. I thought I’d kill some time and maybe get lucky using that infuriating app, but I never thought I’d run into a certified stalker.

Nezumi yanked his hand away, only to stare as a dark pink line seared across the other’s face. A pale cream was smeared across his hand. Lower quality than even the stage makeup some of the other college actors used in the community theater.

A deep flush was spread across Shion’s cheeks and he wouldn’t meet Nezumi’s eyes. “Hm. Well you just got more interesting.” Nezumi rubbed slightly against his cheek to wipe away more of the foundation to reveal a scar that curled around his face and down to his neck. Curious, Nezumi leaned in and could faintly see the outline of the scar curve down Shion’s neck and below his collared shirt where he hadn’t been skilled enough to hide the slightly raised edges. “So. How far does this go? Because if it’s a snake that winds itself around your body? Well that’s pretty damn sexy. And rather fitting for an actress who goes by Eve.”

And so Nezumi placed his book on the table, pulled out his chair, and ordered another cup of coffee. “So for starters you can call me Nezumi.”

______________________________________________________________________________

It wasn’t until about a month after they’d first met that Nezumi finally noticed that there was something off about Shion. They were sitting on the beat up couch in Nezumi’s studio apartment (an apartment that he was rather proud of, despite it being in the dangerous end of town and certainly a little more than run-down, but it was his) when Nezumi reached around to rest his arm across Shion’s shoulders.

The flinch was so noticeable that Nezumi couldn’t believe that Shion hadn’t launched himself off the couch. Again, the boy wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Is… is there something wrong? It’s not like we’re watching a scary movie or anything.”

No, they were watching one of those terrible made-for-TV-movies that was so sickeningly sweet that Nezumi wanted to puke at the thought of watching one, but Shion demanded that the movies were a Christmas staple.

“It’s… I just don’t feel like cuddling.”

“Shion. I will turn off this movie if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” Nezumi didn’t think that it was something that he’d done (might’ve been a trigger but even though they’d only known each other a few weeks, Nezumi thought he had a pretty good idea of Shion would be comfortable with, and it wasn’t the first time they’d curled up on his couch together.)

“... I never told you how I got this scar.”

It was one of those topics that there wasn’t a good time to ask about. No matter how drawn to each other they felt (and Nezumi would have denied feeling any such attraction if asked) they still had only known each other a couple of weeks. And even if they’d discussed some deeper topics - Shion’s single mother, his best friend’s death, the fire that destroyed Nezumi’s home - the scar was one that neither wanted to touch.

“It… it was actually the reason my father left. I know I mentioned that my mother raised me, but when I was a kid I contracted a disease that left me sick for months. My dad… well he couldn’t take the stress of a sick child that none of the doctors could cure. They couldn’t even figure out what was wrong with me. So he left. Wrote a letter that he placed on my nightstand as he said goodbye. And I never saw him again.”

Nezumi opened his mouth to speak, but Shion shook his head as he still had more to tell. “I got better, but after that I was always just a little weaker than the other kids. So I focused more on learning what I could about the environment and medicine since that’s what interested me. And when I was 16, Safu died. And the stress from that brought back my disease from when I was a kid. Apparently I’d never fully recovered and it was just giving me milder symptoms for about ten years. But this time, it left me with a scar. And a few other changes.”

Shion turned his back on Nezumi and bent over, shoulders shaking slightly. No words were spoken between them, and Nezumi was hesitant to reach out to him. There was something unapproachable about his boyfriend in that moment, and he didn’t want to be the one to break the silence.

When Shion turned around, the red eyes that met Nezumi’s were full of hesitation and fear. “I wanted to tell you sooner. It felt like I was lying to you everytime we talked. The photos on my profile? Safu had taken them shortly before. And I’ve spent so much of my time hating my reflection and every memory that went with it that I didn’t want you to see me like that. You, whose singing got me out of bed every morning just for the chance to hear it. So I bought colored contacts and dyed my hair. But we made plans for today and my mom asked me to help out at the bakery in the morning. So I didn’t have time to dye my roots.”

“Dye your roots?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Nezumi wanted to shove them back in. Stupid. That’s something the airhead would ask.

“I’m not sure what exactly it was - Safu was more into medicine than I ever was - but yeah. My hair is originally brown. A little darker than this, but it was the best I could find on short notice. But when I got sick again, it turned my hair white.”

Nezumi blinked and sat there for a moment. Then, “So basically you’re saying you catfished me.”

______________________________________________________________________________

Three years to the day saw Nezumi and Shion sitting on that same beat up couch in their studio apartment, celebrating Shion’s acceptance into grad school. They hadn’t been an easy three years, but neither of them would change a thing. Because that year for Christmas, though neither of them knew it, they had both bought rings to propose.

[no6secretsanta]

Bittersweet Awakening

TO: @happykawaiicinnamonroll FROM: @glorifiedscapegoat

Happy Holidays and an amazing New Year to you, KawaiiCinnamonroll! Here’s some post-reunion fluff for your Secret Santa gift. In the spirit of the New Year, having a nice moment between Nezumi and Shion, in which Shion is being a bit of a dumb-ass and Nezumi takes care of him, seemed appropriate.

I hope you enjoy it! <3

***

Nezumi woke to the smell of coffee beans.

He stretched out his spine with a satisfied groan. In his sleep, he’d managed to curl himself into a tight ball, long limbs wrapped around his pillow and clutching it to his chest. He unearthed his face from the plush cushion―pulling himself from the aroma of drowsy lavender fabric softener―and looked over at his sleeping companion.

Shion’s side of the bed was empty.

Nezumi bolted upright.

Panic lanced through the synapses in his brain, tension jolting through his muscles until every inch of him ached. His eyes picked through the darkness of their shared bedroom, searching the dresser tucked in the corner, the slotted solar shades revealing the still-dark morning sky, and the bedroom door left ajar.

Yellow light spilled in through the gap in the door frame, and Nezumi’s shoulders relaxed.

He dragged a hand over his face and then pushed his bangs aside. His hair was tangled, and Nezumi worked a few of them out with his fingers, wincing when he encountered a knot.

Shion’s awake. He’s here. Nezumi carded his fingers through his hair until there were no more gnarls. The primal terror spiking through his veins cooled until Nezumi felt weightless.

Four years had passed since the day Nezumi had almost lost Shion, four years since Nezumi had breezed back into Shion’s life, for good this time. Nezumi’s gut-reaction to waking without Shion at his side was anxiety and terror, but it was a bit better each time. One step at a time. We’ll get there. Someday.

Nezumi’s brow furrowed. It was strange that Shion climbing into bed hadn’t woken him. Nezumi had gone to bed around ten o’clock, leaving Shion to work on his proposal for the committee. Shion had been agonizing about it most of the day, and Nezumi had opted to give him some space to work.

Nezumi was a notoriously light sleeper. The slightest shifts on the mattress were usually enough to jar him awake. He was getting used to having Shion sleeping at his side again―no longer at his back, but in his arms, limbs tangled together in a heap.

But I didn’t wake up this time. Nezumi gnawed on his lower lip. Weird.

And then his eyes flickered to the nightstand.

The digital clock announced 03:14 AM in neon green numbers.

Nezumi’s brows shot up.

He scrambled out of bed, tossing the comforter aside. The sheets caught around his ankles, and Nezumi nearly went sprawling to the ground. He caught himself with a sharp curse and kicked the sheets onto the floor.

The cool Autumn air sent prickles across the bare skin of his legs and arms. Nezumi wore a dark gray tee shirt and boxer shorts to bed, needing no other warmth than the thick blankets and Shion pinned against him.

He grabbed the thin black robe hanging off the back of the door―a welcome-back gift from Karan―and threw it on. The hem brushed his ankles as he clutched it around his middle and bustled out into the kitchen.

Nezumi found Shion in the kitchen, rooting through the cupboards. The concern welling in the pit of his stomach like a fat serpent steadily began to uncoil.

Shion was dressed in the white button-down and slacks he’d been wearing when Nezumi went off to bed. His hair was wild, sticking up in all directions like a brilliant star. He had his back to Nezumi, his long fingers nudging aside various mugs in the cupboard. He moved quickly, a man on a mission.

Nezumi stepped into the kitchen. He pressed his weight on the squeaky floorboard―the same one he’d been irritated by on those mornings after a particularly terrible rehearsal―to announce his presence.

Shion’s shoulders shot to his ears. His hands stilled.

“You’re still awake?” Nezumi asked.

Shion looked over his shoulder. His glassy red eyes settled on Nezumi’s face, and after a few moments, comprehension flitted across his features. “Oh. Nezumi.” He lowered his arms from the cupboard, leaving the two doors open, and turned around. “Sorry. Did I wake you?”

“It’s three in the morning,” Nezumi said, leaving the question unanswered in the air between them. “Why are you still up?”

Shion lowered his gaze. His eyelashes dusted his cheekbones like a thick frost. He was beautiful, otherworldly in a way that made Nezumi weak-kneed every time he saw him. Even after all these years, Nezumi’s heart still skipped a beat at the thought of the young man standing before him. Even when said young man picked at Nezumi’s nerves.

“I have to finish my proposal,” Shion explained.

“Your meeting’s on Tuesday.”

“And I’m behind.” Shion turned back to the cupboard and reached inside. “I need to finish it.”

Nezumi’s eyes shifted to the coffee pot. A gentle vapor of steam drifted from the boxy black container, the eight-cup pot filled halfway with the dark, steaming liquid. The aroma of light-roast coffee beans danced beneath Nezumi’s nose. It would have been a welcomed scent at a reasonable hour.

“And so you’re brewing coffee?”

“More coffee,” Shion corrected. “This is my second pot.”

“That’s healthy.” Nezumi strode across the kitchen and yanked one of the chairs back from the little table. Its wooden legs screeched across the tile. Nezumi flopped into the chair. “You look exhausted. You sure you want to keep working?”

“I have to, Nezumi.” Shion found the mug he wanted and set it on the counter. He closed the cupboards and hurried to the fridge.

“Why didn’t you reuse your cup?” Nezumi asked.

“What?”

“Your cup,” Nezumi repeated, as if he were speaking to a child. “If this is your second pot, then you must have had another cup. Why not just reuse it?”

“Because it was―” Shion paused, and Nezumi could see the gears working in his head. Shion looked at the sink, where his previous mug must have resided. “Huh.” He pressed his lips into a thin, calculating line. “I… I don’t know.”

Nezumi exhaled through his nose. “Shion.”

“I know what you’re going to say,” Shion interjected.

“Then enlighten me.”

“You’re going to say I should come to bed.”

“Give the man a prize, ladies and gentlemen.”

“I have to finish it, Nezumi.” Shion opened the fridge, took the creamer, and poured some into his mug. It was the pretty white one Nezumi had gotten for him a month ago; a watercolor image of a purple flower, not technically an aster but close enough, spread across the bottom of the mug, the green leaves twisting up the handle.

Despite the frustration prickling through him, Nezumi felt a small sliver of warmth at the sight of the mug. It had been a gift to Shion. A gift from him. Nezumi had never given anyone a gift before. It had seemed like such a small, pathetic thing at the time. And yet the moment he’d given it to Shion, those bright crimson eyes had lit up as if someone had set a fire in Shion’s core. Those lips had drawn back in a wide smile, and Shion had thrown his arms around Nezumi. “I love it! Thank you!”

It was amazing, Nezumi thought―how something so small could ground him. We’ve come so far, haven’t we? So much had changed in four years. Like tightly-coiled bugs in a garden, Shion and Nezumi had finally, finally, finally bloomed, their petals brushing against each other and their stems intertwining.

“We’re discussing the new proposal for the West District,” Shion went on. He placed the cream back in the fridge.

After Nezumi left, West Block was evacuated, the citizens ushered into the remains of No.6 with Shion taking on the role of ambassador. The Manhunt had drastically lowered the number of West Block’s citizens, and Shion’s primary focus became finding suitable housing for them. The birth of the Committee―compiled of people from West Block, Kronos, and Lost Town―opened new possibilities for plans regarding the destroyed quarters.

“Some of the Committee members want to turn it into a junkyard,” Shion went on. “Most of the buildings are ruined, and even though we’ve removed all the bodies…”

And given them proper burials, Nezumi thought. Shion had personally led the search to find the bodies buried beneath the rubble. Inukashi’s hounds had lent a hand, their reluctant owner offering their services as a favor to Shion. Shion had also found jobs for the displaced Disposers, tasking them with transferring the corpses safely and respectfully from the destruction and to a patch of land just outside the up-heaved city.

Most of the Disposers had become the Clean-Up Committee, paid a livable wage by the city for their services. Nezumi had been surprised to find so many of the Disposers he recognized trudging through the remnants of No.6 as law-abiding citizens who prided themselves on their work rather than the thugs West Block had feared.

“It’s still dangerous to keep all that rubble just laying around,” Shion said, jolting Nezumi from his reminiscing. “What if kids play there? The wall is gone, and children are curious by nature. Not to mention how hazardous it is for the environment. If we removed it, put the scrap wood to good use and salvaged the metal, we could expand the living quarters and use that land to farm. That would create job opportunities, as well as save money on imported goods.

“We could grow most of our own crops, and once we’ve managed to create a sustainable system, we can work on exporting some of our goods and bringing some money back into the city! That way we can actually pay our workers and make sure people can survive.”

Nezumi rested his head on his hands and listened. He didn’t understand the politics of the Committee as well as Shion did, but he admired the passion in Shion’s voice. That had always drawn Nezumi to Shion, he supposed. He was so dedicated to everything he set his focus on.

Shion was trying his best to make good on his promise to Elyurias, and Nezumi as well, even though it was running him ragged.

“An admirable feat,” Nezumi allowed. “But I doubt the whole ship will sink if you take a few hours to rest.”

Something flickered across Shion’s face that might have been acceptance―and then the coffee pot chimed.

“Coffee’s done,” Shion announced.

Nezumi’s shoulders dropped in defeat.

Shion picked up the pot. The dark liquid inside sloshed within. Shion’s fingers trembled on the handle as he navigated his way to his mug.

Nezumi changed his tactic. “Have you made any progress with it? When I went to bed, you were stuck on your introductory paragraph.”

Shion paused.

“Talking it out is one thing,” Nezumi went on, “but it’s translating it into political jargon that’s stressing you out, right?”

Shion shifted from one foot to the other. “It’s not that. It’s just…” He sighed. “I know what I want to say. But it’s just like… the longer I stare at the page, the less sense my thoughts make.” His red eyes lost focus as Shion stared down at the coffee pot in his hands. “Everything that comes to mind just doesn’t sound right.”

Nezumi felt a pang of sympathy dance through him. “Then maybe you need to take some time away from it.”

Shion gnawed on his lower lip, considering Nezumi’s suggestion. Nezumi played with the sleeve of the robe, the warmth of the kitchen seeping in through the thin fabric. It was too soon to turn the heat in their small, two-bedroom apartment on.

Shion poured some coffee into the mug, and Nezumi’s stomach dropped to his feet.

“You want any?” Shion asked.

“No,” Nezumi said with a dry smile. “I actually want to sleep.”

“Suit yourself.” Shion set the coffee pot back on the burner. He shuffled over to the table, set the mug down opposite Nezumi, and turned back to the counters. “Where’s the sugar?”

“Where it always is,” Nezumi said. As Shion meandered back toward the sink, Nezumi exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel a headache forming. “Look, Shion. No one’s going to blame you if you take a break from it. You’ve been working on that thing all day. If you’re not thinking straight, it’s a universal sign that you need to get some sleep.”

“Found the sugar,” Shion piped up.

“You know,” Nezumi snapped, “for someone so intelligent, you can be amazingly dense.”

Shion sat down in the chair and muttered a retort.

“Didn’t catch that. Care to try again when you’re not sleep-deprived?”

Shion rolled his eyes. He tipped the small canister of sugar upside down and dumped half of it into his coffee.

Nezumi raised an eyebrow. Shion liked sugar in his coffee. Nezumi had lived with him long enough to know that. But Shion didn’t usually take that much sugar.

“You want any coffee with that?”

“Hush,” Shion said. “I need to finish this proposal, Nezumi. I need all the energy I can get.”

Shion held the mug in both hands and took a long gulp.

“Shion―,” Nezumi said.

Shion’s eyes widened. He slammed the cup onto the table and spat his mouthful of coffee back into it.

Nezumi reeled back. “What?”

Shion looked at the mug, then to the canister of sugar. Horror twisted into disbelief on his face. His scarlet eyes glistened and, to Nezumi’s utter confusion, filled with tears. Shion shoved his mug away from himself, folded his arms, and buried his face in the crook of his elbows.

“What’s wrong?” Nezumi snatched the canister of sugar up. He scanned the white label, the brand name scrawled in black and red letters, spelling out the words coarse salt rather than cane sugar.

Nezumi’s lips quirked at the corners. “Oh.”

“It’s salt,” Shion whined.

Nezumi bit back laughter as he stood and set the offending condiment back on the counter. He took Shion’s mug and dumped it into the sink.

“And that,” he said, “would be a sign from the Powers That Be that it’s time for bed.”

Shion’s voice was muffled as he said, “It’s not funny.”

It was pretty funny, but Nezumi would avoid saying so until Shion was in a better state of mind. Once Shion had calmed down, and slept an acceptable number of hours, Nezumi would tease him mercilessly.

For now, Nezumi stood behind Shion and rubbed comforting circles on his back.

“Come on,” he murmured. “Time for bed. You’re probably not making as much progress as you’d like, anyway.”

Shion grumbled.

“You have all day Monday,” Nezumi added. “You’re not going to be much help to anyone if you’re passed out on the table.”

His thumbs continued to rub shapes into Shion’s shoulder blades until Shion turned his face to the side and managed a shaky, “OK.”

Nezumi celebrated silently as he helped Shion up from the table. He clicked the coffee pot off, making a mental note to clean the bean dispenser and empty the pot when he woke up again. He placed his hands on Shion’s shoulders and guided him through the kitchen and into their shared bedroom.

“Change into your pajamas,” Nezumi instructed.

Shion eased through the darkness, toward the dresser. Nezumi kept the door open, allowing the kitchen light to illuminate the room just enough for Shion to find his way. Shion knew the bedroom like the back of his hand―but Nezumi couldn’t count on Shion’s sleep-deprived mind to remember where he kept his boxers if he couldn’t even tell salt from sugar.

Shion dropped his button-down and slacks besides the hamper. Close enough, Nezumi thought. Shion dug through the top drawer, found a black tee-shirt, and pulled it over his head. He fought with the hole before yanking it down.

Nezumi smirked. Hopefully, Shion hadn’t put it on backward. He supposed they’d find out in the morning.

“To bed with you,” Nezumi said. “It’s well past your bedtime.”

Shion’s retort barely made it past his lips. Shion slumped to the bed and flopped down on his stomach.

Nezumi shook his head. He flicked the kitchen light off, plunging the room into darkness. The faint light filtering in through the slats in the window allowed Nezumi a quick look at Shion. He’d curled into the side of the bed where Nezumi had woken up, instinctively drawn to the warmth.

Nezumi crawled onto the bed and lay beside Shion. He wrestled the blankets out from under Shion and tucked them around him.

“Comfortable?” Nezumi asked.

Shion didn’t answer.

Right to sleep, then. Nezumi couldn’t help but laugh. He eased down beside Shion, tucking their legs together. His arms slipped around Shion’s thin frame and pulled him against his chest. The neon green alarm clock announced 03:38 AM. Shion and Nezumi kept the alarm off on the weekends. Nezumi would likely doze for a few hours. If he was lucky, Shion would sleep well into the late morning. Nezumi didn’t mind spending a lazy day in bed. If it kept Shion asleep for more than a few minutes, it was worth it.

Nezumi pressed his nose into Shion’s soft, silver hair. He smelled like the geranium shampoo Karan had given them as a move-in gift. Shion worked it through his hair every other day, and Nezumi had begun to associate the scent with the beautiful young man tucked in his arms.

Nezumi exhaled, content. The warmth from Shion’s body radiated through him. Sleep began to tug at the corners of his mind. Nezumi rested his chin on Shion’s shoulder. He listened to the thump of their hearts, the echo reminding him that fate had granted them a chance to start over. A new beginning.

Nezumi had wandered the world to find himself―and his journey had brought him right back to Shion.

He pressed a long, lingering kiss to Shion’s shoulder. The deep breathing from his sleeping companion soothed him, erased the tension in his shoulders and chased away the nightmares. In the warmth of their shared bedroom, Nezumi closed his eyes, breathed the same air as the boy he loved, and fell asleep.

[no6secretsanta]

West Block Christmas

From @pigeonsimba for @marykedoesart.

Shion’s eyes flew across the page, drinking the words in hungrily. He had been curled up on the bed since he selected the book and blew the dust off the cover. He chose The Christmas Carolbecause he thought it’d be a quick read while he waited for Nezumi to come home. Now he was rapt.

As his eyes skimmed across the final sentence, Shion’s heart felt full: full of wonder, of magic, and a boundless curiosity and yearning for Christmas. Shion closed the book and ran his hand over the threadbare cover. Why don’t we have this holiday anymore?

No. 6 had no holidays except Holy Day—if a mandatory gathering around the Moondrop in praise of No. 6 could be considered a holiday. Christmas was different. It was a true celebration of humanity’s generosity and kinship. He could only imagine how beautiful it must have been: family and friends gathered around a feast, snow blanketing the world outside the window and a fire roaring on the hearth.

It made him feel proud to be human.

The handle of the door rattled and the specter of Marley’s ghost flitted through Shion’s mind for a heartbeat. Then Nezumi stepped into the room and the fear fell away in a rush.

“Nezumi!”

He hadn’t meant to shout, but the excitement burst out of him the moment he saw Nezumi. Nezumi paused in the doorway, eyes wide and expression caught between confusion and alarm.

“Sorry,” Shion said at a normal volume. “I haven’t spoken all day. I just finished a good book.”

Nezumi grunted in a knowing way and locked the door behind him.

“What’s the date?” Shion asked.

Nezumi crossed the room and Shion shifted to allow him a seat on the end of the bed. “December 10th.”

Shion grinned and scooted down beside him. “What do you know about Christmas?”

“Christmas?” Nezumi’s gaze dropped to the book between them. “Ah. Reading cautionary tales now?” he chuckled. “Christmas is a Christian gimmick.” He plucked the book from Shion’s hands and unceremoniously tossed it onto the floor. Shion’s heart plummeted. “Christians overwrote the winter solstice with a celebration of their own god to make turning pagans over to Christianity easier. It’s a holiday based on selfishness and forced compliance.”

“What? No it’s not!” Shion slid off the bed and rescued The Christmas Carol from the faded green carpet.

Nezumi leaned back on the wall and surveyed him from beneath hooded eyes. “There’s a pattern lately where you ask me to tell you about something, and then you get all indignant when tell you, and claim to know more than me. It’s very annoying.”

Shion shook his head. “You can’t be right. This book isn’t about that at all—it’s about being selfless! It’s about being generous and kind.”

“Yes, well, that book was written by a Christian. It would present its side in a generous and kind light.”

Tendrils of frustration writhed in Shion’s stomach. The excitement he experienced until a moment ago was real and pure. Whatever Christmas was truly, he knew what it was to him, and that was valid. He wouldn’t let Nezumi ruin it.

Shion raised his chin. “I want to celebrate it.”

Nezumi rolled his eyes and lolled his head to the side. “Why doesn’t that surprise me? Go ahead then. Don’t let me get in your way.”

Shion tightened his grip on the book. “I want to celebrate it with you.”

Nezumi’s head snapped up. His gaze sharpened with feline menace and Shion reminded himself that he had resolved not to let Nezumi ruin his plans, no matter how cold and terrifying his glares became.

“Shion,” Nezumi said, sitting up. “Maybe you didn’t notice, but the people in West Block are dirt poor. We don’t have cash to burn on ourselves, let alone on gifts for other people.”

“But that’s the whole point! Christmas is a time to remember that all of us are human, that we’re all equal and deserving of joy, no matter how rich or poor. It’s a time for giving. No one needs to buy anything if they can’t; spending time together is a gift in of itself.”

“Geez…” Nezumi rested his head in his hands. “Listen, that sappy crap would never fly in West Block—and not in No. 6 either, for that matter. Can you imagine if everyone started getting ideas that they’re all equal?”

“I’m not asking everyone to celebrate it. I’m asking you. And Inukashi and Rikiga, too! It doesn’t have to be anything fancy.”

Nezumi lifted his head. “No way. But by all means try Inukashi and Rikiga. I’m sure they’ll be thrilled.”

“Nezumi… Please?” Nezumi just shook his head. Annoyance flickered in Shion’s chest. “Don’t be a Scrooge, Nezumi.”

A sardonic smile twisted Nezumi’s lips. “Bah humbug.”

“Look,” Shion started. He slotted The Christmas Carolonto the nearest shelf and sat down on the bed next to Nezumi. “I’ll take care of everything, okay? I’ll use the wage I get from washing dogs for what I need, I won’t ask you for anything. All you have to do is show up. Okay?”

Nezumi leered sidelong at him. His lips parted in the beginnings of a reply. It looked like a no. A small brown savior streaked into the room at that very moment and Shion seized upon him.

“Hamlet!”

Hamlet paused in the middle of the floor and twitched his nose. He seemed to be taking the temperature of the room. Hamlet turned towards the bookcases and chirruped. Tsukiyo and Cravat poked their heads out and Shion lowered his hands in invitation. He could have cried when all three mice leapt into his palms.

“Hey, guys.” Shion brought them up to face level. “Do you want to celebrate Christmas with me?”

The mice looked at each other. Then Hamlet squeaked and bobbed his head. 

“Thank you! Now, can you please convince this rat,” he turned them toward Nezumi, “to agree to join too?”

Nezumi’s brow furrowed. “I don’t know what you’re playing at,” he began, but the mice broke out into a squeaking fit, crawling over each other and waving their little paws. Nezumi’s frown deepened. “What have you done to my mice?”

“This is a coup, Nezumi,” Shion announced. “You are overruled.” He brought the raucous mice closer to Nezumi’s face. “Say you’ll celebrate Christmas.”

The corners of Nezumi’s mouth tightened as the mice cheeped and Shion stared him down, but at last the tension in his face wasn’t from disapproval or irritation. Nezumi snorted and Shion’s heart sped up.

“Alright,” Nezumi said. The mice went quiet and Nezumi gently pushed Shion’s hands and the mice away from his face. “If it so pleases Your Majesty, I will deign to join in your Christmas festivities. But good luck getting the mutt and the old man to agree.”

—–

Inukashi and Rikiga didn’t look ecstatic to be occupying the same room, but they had obeyed Shion’s summons nonetheless.

They were seated when they entered, and Nezumi went straight for one of the remaining chairs. This small room Inukashi used as an office and bedroom had probably never expected to house so many at once.

Shion didn’t sit. He was too restless.

A single candle burned on the small, round table, filling everyone’s eyes with a flickering warmth.

Shion clasped his hands behind his back. “Thank you all for coming.”

“What gives, Shion? Why’re we here?” Inukashi’s small dark eyes scanned the persons in the room. “This is a suspicious group…” Their eyes flashed and snapped back to Shion. “Do you have a job? Is that what this is?”

Nezumi chuckled. “Shion have a job? Please.”

“Eve’s right,” Rikiga said, clucking his tongue. “Shion’s too good a kid to be caught up in the shady stuff you deal in, mutt.”

“And that you deal in,” Nezumi quipped drily.

“Like you’re a saint!” the older man growled back.

Shion cleared his throat. The group settled again and gave him their attention. “I would like to invite you all to Christmas.”

The candle flame danced manically for a moment as the draft grew stronger. The silence stretched even after it died down. Nezumi smirked and Shion wanted to punch him.

“Christmas?” Rikiga said at last. He scratched the stubble on his chin. It looked like the word resonated with him, but he couldn’t quite reach the meaning.

Inukashi frowned. “What the hell is Christmas?”

Shion perked up. “It’s a holiday that people used to celebrate on the 25thof December. Everyone gathers in one place and eats together, and you exchange gifts, and the book I read says a long time ago people also held balls where they got dressed up and danced.”

“Danced?” Inukashi wrinkled their nose. Their eyes darted to Nezumi. “You encouraged this?”

“Of course not. But you know Shion. Once it gets into his head…” Nezumi shrugged a shoulder.

Shion cast a beleaguered look around the room. His hopes grew smaller and smaller as each face revealed less and less enthusiasm. “I know it’s not what you’re used to. I know you all think I’m crazy or naïve to want to do this. But is it really so crazy? To want to spend time with the people I care about?” Shion hung his head and sighed. “All I’m asking is for one night. A few hours where we can try to enjoy what we have, instead of being cynical about what we don’t.”

Rikiga’s eyes shone in the aftermath of Shion’s plea. Nezumi’s face remained carefully impassive.

“So…” Inukashi wriggled in their seat. “You want to do this Christmas thing…because you care about us?”

Shion raised his head. “Yes. You’re my friends.”

Inukashi didn’t know what to do with that answer, so they pulled the puppy playing by their chair into their lap and pressed their face into his fur to think.

“Oh, Shion,” Rikiga crooned. He pushed out of his chair and crushed Shion against his chest. “You’re such a good kid. A selfless angel, just like your mother.”

Shion patted Rikiga once on the back and extricated himself from the bear hug. “Does that mean you’ll do it, Mr. Rikiga?”

“Of course I’ll do it. Anything for you.”

Shion beamed. “Thank you. I was really hoping you’d agree, because I want to have the party at your house.”

The rosy cheer faded from Rikiga’s cheeks. “My house?”

“You have that big back room and a fireplace, and the best food. Of course, Nezumi and I will bring some things too, but your house is the perfect place to celebrate. I couldn’t imagine having it anywhere else.”

“Oh.” Rikiga cleared his throat. “I don’t know, Shion… My place isn’t really suited for kids.”

“Come now,” Nezumi drawled. “It’s your precious Shion’s Christmas wish. You aren’t going to crush the kid’s dream, are you, old man?”

Rikiga’s brow clouded. “Well… I…”

Shion stretched his smile even broader. “Thank you so much, Mr. Rikiga!” He threw his arms around the older man and squeezed. “This means a lot to me, and I know that if my mom were here, she would be so proud and grateful to you.”

Rikiga sputtered, utterly defeated. Shion’s gaze met Nezumi’s and Nezumi mouthed, Nice. The corner of Shion’s mouth quirked. He let Rikiga go and focused on the last holdout.

Inukashi shrunk under Shion’s eager gaze. “Nezumi agreed to do this?”

“He did.”

“I was overruled, apparently.”

With no other avenue for refusal, Inukashi had no choice but to agree. They lowered the wriggling puppy to the floor. “What do we have to do again? Bring food and stuff?”

“You don’t have to bring food if you don’t want to. But I was thinking… Well, part of Christmas is about giving gifts to the people you appreciate, and I know it’d be difficult for everyone to get a present for everyone, so I was thinking we’d each only get a gift for one person.” Shion reached into his pocket and pulled out four crumpled scraps of paper. “It’s like a lottery.” 

“I don’t know, Shion,” Nezumi said. “I read The Lottery and it didn’t work out too well for the person who got picked.”

“Hush,” Shion chided.

“What’s a lottery?” Inukashi said, eyeing the papers with trepidation.

“It’s simple. We each take a piece of paper and you get a gift for the person written on it.” Shion dumped the papers on the table. “Everyone take one. Don’t give away who you have, though, even if you don’t like what you draw. We want it to be a surprise for Christmas day! I’ll go first.”

Shion grabbed the paper nearest to him and shielded it in his palms as he read. He nodded. “Alright, who’s next?”

The other three exchanged a look, but one by one they chose a paper. Inukashi and Rikiga made faces as they read their selections, but Nezumi just glanced at his and stuffed it into his pocket.

“No one got their own name? Great! You have until the 25thto get a present, and then we open them at the party. It doesn’t have to be a big gift, but try to put some thought into it.”

Inukashi and Rikiga grumbled.

—–

Shion woke with the sunrise Christmas day. Nezumi was nowhere to be seen. His side of the bed was cool when Shion placed a hand on it.

He should have guessed. Nezumi had been avoiding him as Christmas grew nearer, claiming that the holiday was silly and that Shion’s childlike glee irked him. Maybe Nezumi did truly think those things, but Shion suspected there was more to his evasions than what he said aloud. Nezumi was hiding something, he just didn’t know what or from whom.

But I’ll learn tonight.

For the nth time Shion felt a pleasant jolt race through his veins. Today was Christmas! He couldn’t wait to see what everyone prepared.

The mice were curled fast asleep on the pillow, and Shion did his best to slip out and into the shower without disturbing them. As he dried his hair, Shion mused on how long he had until the party. A little less than ten hours.

Shion peered under the bed at his present. The object was wrapped tightly in several layers of newspaper. Shion had collected the pages on his walks home and borrowed tape from Rikiga to stick them all together.

He brushed the corner of the package where Cravat had gnawed a small hole. “Ten hours…”

Shion did whatever chores he could think of to pass the morning. He organized the room, did laundry, washed their mugs, and fetched new water from the stream. Anything to keep his mind occupied. But even then he could barely contain his excitement when he met Inukashi later for dog washing.

Between the dog kisses and soapsuds Shion gushed about all the things he had read about Christmas in the last few weeks: about children waiting up for Santa Claus, about caroling, and decorating, and Christmas trees, and snowball fights. Inukashi asked question after question and scoffed more than once at the things Shion told them, but by the time they’d finished, Inukashi seemed to be looking forward to the party that night.

When Nezumi finally turned up at the underground room that evening Shion was near to bursting.

“Geez,” Nezumi muttered when he noticed Shion sitting rapt on the bed. “The aura around you right now… It’s making me nauseated. I might have to stay home.”

“You are coming and that’s that. Did you bring the food?”

Nezumi held up a bag. “Bread, meat, and booze, as Your Majesty requested. You should have seen the looks I got shelling out coin for this. If I had been anyone else, I would have been jumped on the way home and taken for all I’m worth. This better be a damn good party.”

“It will be. Thank you, Nezumi.”

Nezumi grunted. “Let’s just go already.”

Shion pawed his present out from under the bed. Nezumi arched an eyebrow as Shion hefted up against his chest.

“Ready!” Shion grinned over the top of the newspaper. “Where’s your present?”

“That’s for me to know and you to see.” Nezumi threw open the door and disappeared into the hall.

—–

Rikiga squinted at Nezumi when he opened the door. He looked as though he didn’t understand why two teenagers showed up.

“Mr. Rikiga?”

Rikiga’s eyes slid from Nezumi to Shion and at last a sliver of recognition seeped into his face. “Shion! That’s right. Is it the 25thalready?”

“Merry Christmas, Mr. Rikiga.”

“Somebody pregamed,” Nezumi muttered.

Shion didn’t know what that meant, but Nezumi’s tone and the scent of alcohol emanating from Rikiga’s person gave him a clue.

Nezumi crossed his arms and sneered. “Did you leave anything for the party? Good thing we brought our own wine,” he said sidewise to Shion.

Rikiga wrinkled his nose. “Show me some respect, Eve. It’s my house.” He yanked the door open.

Shion gazed around while they waited for Rikiga to reveal the hidden room. The living room was in chaos. Papers littered the floor, and empty bottles lined the coffee table. Shion had thought maybe the disarray he’d seen the first day they met Rikiga had been a result of the fight with his ex, but it seemed this was Rikiga’s regular state of living.

At least on the surface.

Rikiga laid his hand on the wall behind the mangy textile sofa and the partition in the wall slid open, revealing the decadent room inside. A fire blazed on the hearth, shimmering against the red and gold fibers in the carpet. The leather chairs and couch in front of the fireplace were in impeccable condition and sang with warm invitation.

Shion placed his gift down on the couch and approached the table. A plate of cheese and grapes sat in the middle, and, despite the fact that Rikiga smelled like a liquor cabinet, two unopened bottles of wine sat at the edge of the table.

Shion’s mouth watered. He hadn’t seen such a luxurious meal in a while, and coupled with the things Nezumi brought, this would be a feast none of them would soon forget.

“This looks amazing!”

Rikiga preened. “Yes, well, it is Christmas. I had to make sure everything was just right. There’s pie and coffee for dessert, too.”

Nezumi harrumphed and unloaded their foodstuff onto the table. A knock sounded from the other room as he finished. “And there’s the mutt.” Nezumi looked into Shion’s smiling face. “Let the party begin.”

Inukashi ate like a ravenous animal and even displayed some food aggression. This irked everyone but Shion, who was too much in the Christmas spirit to be offended. Now was a time to enjoy to the utmost. Shion gave Inukashi his portion of bread, which made them pause and realize the intensity of their behavior. Inukashi calmed down after that and the table devolved into verbal sparring and backhanded comments up until dessert.

Happiness bloomed white hot in Shion’s chest as he cradled his coffee in his hands. Everything was just as he imagined it would be—no, better. The only thing that could make this moment more perfect would be…

Mom and Safu. 

The stuffy feeling in his chest crawled up into his throat and choked until his vision blurred. Shion dropped his head and tried to discreetly wipe his eyes. He didn’t want to be sad, not now, when this was the happiest he’d ever been.

Nezumi was watching him when he recovered. Heat climbed up the back of Shion’s neck. He avoided Nezumi’s gaze and sipped at his mug.

Tsukiyo poked his head out of the superfiber wrapped around Nezumi’s shoulders and squeaked. Nezumi glanced sharply down at him and dropped his silverware onto his plate, creating enough noise to claim the table’s attention. “Let’s open presents now.”

“We’re not done eating,” Inukashi protested, forking another piece of pecan pie. “And how come you can bring your pets, but I can’t bring mine?”

“The food isn’t going anywhere. I, however, will be very soon. So up you go.” Nezumi pushed back from the table and draped himself over the leather armchair nearest the fire. “Shion, you’re the MC of this shindig, why don’t you go first?”

Shion scrambled out of his chair, scooped his gift off the couch, and plopped down in its place. “Everyone, grab your gift! Let’s sit by the fire.”

Inukashi claimed the cushion beside Shion, and Rikiga lowered himself into the remaining armchair.

“So? Who’d you get?” Inukashi eyed the large package in Shion’s arms.

“I got…Mr. Rikiga!”

Rikiga perked up as Shion deposited the gift in his lap. He peeled back the newspaper to reveal the gift inside: a silver typewriter. The base was slightly banged up and the keys faded, but it was usable and legible. Shion made sure of that before purchasing it for more than it was probably worth monetarily. But he thought it would be worth its weight in memories.

“You said you were a reporter before. That’s how you met my mom. So I thought you might like this, to write with, or maybe just as a reminder.”

 “You do know that when Rikiga was a reporter, he used a computer, right?” Nezumi drawled. “The old man’s not thatold.”

Everyone in the room glared. Nezumi made a face and lounged deeper into the armchair.

“It’s beautiful, Shion. I’ll treasure it,” Rikiga said, smiling. “Guess it’s me now?” Rikiga fished around in his suit pocket and pulled out a small paper-wrapped parcel. “This is for you, kid.” He held it out to Inukashi.

Inukashi’s nose twitched and there was no mistaking the look on their face for anything but rapt excitement as they tore open the package. Inukashi stared down at it when it was fully unwrapped. They stared until the fire began to feel too hot.

Inukashi raised their head and leered at Rikiga. “Soap? Are you fucking serious?”

“What?” Rikiga sputtered. “It’s something you need, right? What else was I supposed to get you? Dogs? You already have every dog in West Block!”

“Then get me dog stuff!”

“Use the soap for the dogs, then!”

“You’re the worst! I at least put thoughtinto my gift!” Inukashi jumped up, grabbed their present from the table, and flung it at Nezumi’s chest. “Here’s your stupid Christmas gift, Nezumi.”

Nezumi held the package up by the corner with two fingers. “Did your dogs help you wrap this?”

“Shut up, you filthy ingrate.”

Nezumi smiled and tore the paper. His eyebrows shot up. Shion rose and peered into his lap. Within the shreds of wrapping lay a small bag filled with coal. Shion frowned. He had read about children who received coal as punishment for bad behavior.

“That’s not very nice, Inukashi…” he said.

“What? What’s wrong with it?” Inukashi looked between him and Nezumi and Shion suddenly felt unsure. “He can put it in your heater, or whatever. That’s a valuable resource! Far better than that rat deserves.”

“Yeah, Shion,” Nezumi said. “Don’t be such a snob.”

Shion mumbled an apology.

Nezumi rubbed his blackened fingers on his pant leg. “This was more than I expected, Inukashi. You’re surprisingly thoughtful.”

“Of course I’m thoughtful,” they spat. “I gather intelligence for a living. So, is that it?” Inukashi wrinkled their nose at the soap.

Shion stopped hanging his head as he realized he was the only one left. “That means…” His eyes lit up. “Nezumi, you must have me!”

“He got the easy one,” Inukashi grumbled. “Damn rat probably rigged it.”

Nezumi unfurled from the armchair and stood. Shion’s heart pounded as Nezumi reached into his pocket and extended a closed fist. He held his heat-slickened palm out to receive what he offered.

Nezumi dropped a pair of D batteries into his hand. Shion frowned.

Inukashi cackled. “Batteries? God, Nezumi, you’re an even worse gift giver than Mr. Alcoholic over here.”

Rikiga shook his head and sighed. “Honestly… At least the kid can use my gift.”

Nezumi turned a bored look on them. “Obviously, this is only part one. Some assembly is required for my gift. Part two,” Nezumi plucked the batteries back out of Shion’s palm and took him by the hand, “is outside. It’s been fun, but we’ll be going now.”

Nezumi collected their coats from the table and crammed the bag of coal and batteries into the open pockets. Inukashi gaped as Nezumi glided by them.

“Wait, what? Where are you going? Don’t leave me alone with him!”

“Merry Christmas!” Nezumi called over his shoulder as he dragged Shion out the front door and into the street.

“Nezumi? What’s going on?”

“Like I said. Part two.” Nezumi waited for him to don his coat before tugging him on.

Shion’s brow furrowed at the ambiguity and rough handling, but then he noticed that Nezumi had taken up his hand again.

“Oh! Is this part two?”

“Hm?”

Shion nodded at their clasped hands.

“This? No way. I’m not a cheapskate. How does that even make sense with the batteries?”

Shion didn’t think holding hands as a Christmas present was a cheap gift at all, especially from someone as emotionally jagged as Nezumi, But he and Nezumi differed much on what they considered worthy of their energy.

 “But sure,” Nezumi said after a moment. “Consider it a bonus if it’s really that amazing. Weirdo.” He blew out a breath. Shion smiled as he watched its frosty tendrils twist skyward.

Nezumi took them on the path back to the underground room, and Shion tried to guess what part two was. He voiced his ideas aloud at first, but Nezumi only said, “Hm,” and “Maybe” in response, so Shion gave up after a few tries and focused on the warmth between his and Nezumi’s palms.

They reached the fork where normally they’d go left towards home, but Nezumi led him right, up towards the top of the hill. Tsukiyo popped his head out of Nezumi’s superfiber and twitched his nose at Shion. He turned and squeaked softly in Nezumi’s ear.

“Perfect timing,” Nezumi muttered. He stopped walking and looked to a batch of trees a little ways off.

Shion’s mouth popped open. A tree in the distance burst into multicolored lights. Green, blue, red, and orange blurs speckled the sparse branches and curled around the trunk. Shion drew towards it, and soon it was he who was dragging Nezumi by the arm.

“This is…!” Shion spluttered.

 “A Christmas tree, yes.”

 “Yes! Nezumi, it’s amazing!”

Shion let Nezumi’s hand go and circled the tree. He felt light from the wonder. The blubs shone brilliantly on the branches, like stars hung in a barren universe. Shion followed the length of the string down the trunk. Battery packs nestled amongst the roots. 

“The lights were stashed away in one of the underground rooms,” Nezumi explained, anticipating the question. “There’s all sorts of junk in there. Whoever stocked the place was a serious hoarder.”

“It’s perfect.” Shion touched a blue light and held the small warmth in his fingers. A brighter, tighter warmth built in his chest. Shion moved back to Nezumi’s side.

Nezumi held his gaze. The lights danced off his eyes and made the fine strands of his hair gleam.

“I love it, Nezumi.” Shion slid his hand into Nezumi’s and squeezed. “Thank you.”

Nezumi’s jaw shifted. He turned his face away and stared up at the tree. “Merry Christmas, Shion.” He said it quietly, calmly, with the same cool indifference he had displayed time again.

But the grip on Shion’s hand tightened, and as the minutes ticked by, he didn’t let go.

[of-rats-and-asters]

Fanfiction: Welcome to the real world -chapter 3

Chap. 1 / Chap. 2 / Hi everyone! First things first, I want to thank Glittercracker once again for the *amazing* beta-reading. Thank you so much for bearing with me and my awkward mistakes lmao. Also thanks to voxiferious for the help with some vulgar expressions XD And also thanks to you all, readers! I am amazed to see this story seems to interest quite a lot of people, this is very gratifying ! All kudos, comments and bookmarks mean a lot and keep me going! Thank you all! Once again I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!

“You’re crazy”.

“Safu! Let me explain at least!”

“He’s the most dangerous convict we’re currently hosting. Possibly the most dangerous convict we’ve ever hosted. He was put in jail for a freaking murder attempt! For God’s sake Shion, what are you thinking?”

Shion let out a tired sigh. “First, he was only suspected of murder attempt, no proof has been made against him. They put him in jail for the violence and prostitution – let me speak!”

She didn’t understand him. Shion had come after work once again to discuss the arrival of VC-103221. She had heard of this Nezumi long before he came to their establishment. As a psychiatrist, the federals had asked her opinion on Nezumi’s transfer to the NCIR. She had never hidden her concern about the project. Criminals who showed no remorse, no fear of authority were prone to backslide. However, she hadn’t been the one deciding, and here she was now in this delicate situation. Shion was known for his kind heart and optimistic mind. But both as his best friend and a practitioner, she was worried for him. Nezumi’s outburst against Arugo earlier this day had led to a formal investigation. Several testimonies had shown that Arugo had been the one starting the fight. But it didn’t excuse Nezumi for his violence. It was his second day in the facility, and Nezumi was already making waves… Shion knew well that during the next weekly meeting, there would be demands for a psychiatric examination on him. And for some reason, he had come to ask Safu to volunteer.

“I hope you realise this is corruption. This is a serious matter, Shion, I don’t understand you.”

Shion looked down at his fingers, twisting them. His voice was soft and a tiny smile was showing on his lips.

“He’s… uncanny, for sure.” Shion’s gaze rose to meet Safu’s. “But I swear, I feel it deep inside me, he’s not a bad man. He’s full of wrath but… he looks like he had such a tough life. He deserves more time. To adjust. To get to know us. But…”

“But he’s an insolent, infuriating and provocative jerk. Shion…” Safu huffed before taking her head in her hands. “What are you doing to me? OKAY. I’ll volunteer.” Shion’s face brightened immediately. He looked like a puppy who just saw his owner bringing the leash for the morning walk.

“Thank you Safu, I love you so much, you’re the best.” He took her warmly in his arms. As her head laid on his shoulder, he missed the bittersweet expression on her face. “Yeah, Shion… me too…”

Nezumi woke up with his heart beating fast and sweat rolling between his shoulder blades. The air was fresh and he was shivering. He guessed he must have had another nightmare but he couldn’t remember it. And for all he knew, he didn’t care. Only the present mattered. He extended his arm to fetch the clock, and saw it was only 4 am. He had awoken almost an hour too early, but already too late to get back to sleep. So he’d better get up, and simply go through his morning work-out. The routine, the regularity of the exercises were what grounded him. It felt good, to push hard on his arms, to get his heart to beat fast for a reason, to get his brain to empty and his back to burn. This morning especially, the effort was even more rewarding than usual. His sharp breath breaking the silence. Time to shower, he decided.

The shower. Oh! This was the best reward he could have. He had made the right choice, he thought, as warm water was running on his head, slowly reaching his scalp, and along his spine, down his thigh and between his ankles, giving him delicious chills. He was so much better here. Alone, calm. Busy, even. And most importantly, he was not permanently shut in one of those atrocious concrete cells. If there was a fire, he thought, the flames would rise to the sky.

Nezumi didn’t think very often of the past. But the previous day’s odd vision was still in his mind as his lower back burned once more beneath the scalding water. But was it too hot or was it only his mind playing tricks once more? Anyway, it was time to get clothed and go outside. This time he took a backpack and a few books as he made his way to the cafeteria. It was still very early – too early – and very few men were sat at the large tables. Nezumi considered taking a seat too, but the glares he received and the whispering quickly made him change his mind. Too early to deal with this shit. He took an apple, and walked to the bus area. But the drivers weren’t there yet. Checking his watch, Nezumi repressed a sigh. One hour left… He could have just sat next to the bus, but he didn’t like staying there. When he was reading, it was easy to sneak behind his back. Looking around him, Nezumi noticed the building Shion had come from the previous day. It was a bit further away, and gave a nice view on the cafeteria. He supposed he would also hear the driver when he arrived. Once he reached the entrance, he was glad to notice the stairs. Sitting there, he took his book, and started reading. .

.

           “Nezumi?”

Startled at the soft call of his name, Nezumi almost dropped his book as he got up to face the source of the voice. “Shion…” Nezumi muttered, as his heartbeat slowed to a decent rate. He wanted to shout at the other man for alarming him. But of course, he couldn’t do that. Instead he searched for this watch, fumbling with his sleeves.  “Am I late?”

“Don’t worry, you still have half an hour. I always come in advance.” Shion smiled as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t entered Nezumi’s safety zone without the other man noticing. A bright smile, and kind ruby eyes that pierced through Nezumi’s mind. “You’re reading?”

“Wow, your sharp mind struck once again, I see.” Nezumi’s tone was defiant, his gaze dark. Shion’s eyes widened a bit as he took a step back and cocked his head on this side.

“Wow. Good morning, too, Nezumi.” He looked offended.

Of course. He couldn’t understand his reaction. Nezumi gave a sigh, his shoulders dropping. “I am sorry, Your Majesty. Please forgive my rudeness.” He really needed to get his shit together, rules here were different.  He got up, shoving his book back in his bag and looking up at Shion, who was staring back from the top of the stairs. His head was still cocked but his eyes had softened. With the rising sun reflecting on them, they wore an almost mystical look.

“Why do you call me that?” he asked.

“Call you what?” Nezumi replied lazily as he took the first steps toward the bus, which was now open for them to climb in.

“Your Majesty. It’s inappropriate!” Nezumi closed his eyes as Shion’s voice reached his ears. He was right behind him, having to trot to catch up with him. Suddenly he felt the smaller man’s hand closing on his arm. It took all his will power, and a sharp inhale to avoid turning too violently on his coordinator.

“Is it?” he breathed through clenched teeth. Shion’s stare at him was serious, and unwavering. His grip was strong but not painful. An easy twist of his wrist and the roles were reversed, Nezumi taking Shion’s arm to pull at him and whisper in his ear, “It doesn’t seem inappropriate to me. I didn’t choose you but still you have complete power over me. You live in a wealth I’ve never achieved and certainly never will. You think you can change my life but you have no idea what world our folk lives in. You’re there, commanding people when you have no right to, when you’ve never had to prove anything whereas we always have to prove ourselves. You’re unreachable…”

To this, Shion took a step back, seeming unsure what to say. “You’re wrong…”

“Pardon me?” Nezumi snorted. “We’re not allowed to go in the same buildings as far as I know. I can’t even put my hand to your throat – ” he raised his free hand to place his fingers lightly over the white-haired man’s wind pipe, feeling his heavy gulp as he did so “ – without risking being taken away immediately by your guards.” The last words were merely a murmur, a string of air brushing at Shion’s cheeks.

Shion shook his head at the statement. His eyes locked on Nezumi’s glare as he pressed his hand against Nezumi’s, thus forcing his throat harder against the other man’s palm. “You can reach me,” he whispered. “We live in the same world Nezumi. Only we don’t have the same view of it….”

Nezumi huffed at the ridiculous sentence. He shook his hands away and resumed walking to the bus, but stopped when Shion spoke to his back.

“It’s like the forest, Nezumi… Like I showed you yesterday… Some are broken and ill, but with care and time… I am sure we can nurse them back to health and beauty.”

Looking over his shoulder, Nezumi answered flatly, “I am not so sure, Your Majesty. Some fires burn the forest to the roots, and the only things left are  ashes that gather in your airways and choke you as you breath them in.” And with this, he left the coordinator to take a seat at the back of the bus. His back itched but he ignored the minor discomfort.

Once arrived in the forest, Shion brought the group to a new area where they started collecting samples again. The other inmates worked in pairs. They all had their roles. Some were there to collect the samples, others had to organize them. They took notes and talked light-heartedly. Nezumi observed them as Shion was occupied collecting soil, looking fascinated at the numerous insects he saw, noting everything frenetically on a small notepad. His curious eyes so focused, they looked almost brown.

At some point, an inmate started using a large liana to whip a colleague, shouting lewdly as he did so. Everyone laughed, rolling their eyes as Shion asked for them to calm down and get back to work, hiding a small smile. Nezumi would have imagined a coordinator would be harder on them than that. He didn’t understand how Shion managed to get his team together with such a lenient attitude, but still. Somehow it worked, as everyone was getting their work done.

At the lunch break, everyone took their sandwich and sat on the ground, chewing happily. Shion was once again chattering with everyone, asking for news. One of the guys’ wife had given birth the day before. She had been pregnant right when he was imprisoned for stealing money at his workplace.

“Hey boss, you think they’ll let me see my baby at the hospital? I made my appeal a few weeks ago but they said I’d have to wait to get the answer. The wife isn’t too happy, but well you know… hormones n’ everything, she ain’t an easy one!”

Another guy burst out laughing. “Admit you only wanna have your way!! Hormones, hey?”

Almost everyone laughed loudly as Shion answered to the guy softly, telling him he had asked the hierarchy, but as he only had a few weeks left here before being released, he would probably have to wait. The guy’s shoulders dropped in disappointment.  

“And you, boss, you have a kid and a wife waiting for you at home?” another asked.

Nezumi didn’t miss few men snickering, looking right at him. “As if that fag would ever go for a woman.” Nezumi pointedly ignored them as Shion smiled. “No wife for me, guys… And as for kids….” He patted the ground, holding a flower delicately between his fingers, “I guess this forest is sort of my baby.” He smiled tenderly at the flower.

“And now…. Time to baby sit again everyone!” He winked at the group, getting up again as they were half-heartedly complaining. “Nezumi, come with me!”

Nezumi got up and gathered his stuff before following Shion. Silently he took the boxes his coordinator handed him. “I want to collect some flowers with their roots. We’ll grow them back at the facility.” Nezumi nodded, getting to work.

“Your Majesty?” he asked after a while.

Shion was kneeling beside him. His hand deeply buried in the soil, he stopped moving, waiting for the other man to continue.

“Do you have a family? At home, I mean…”

“Here is my family, Nezumi.” Shion smiled easily. “I live here, you know.”

“Yeah, one of the apartments above mine, I saw that. But… don’t you have parents, friends, outside of here?”

Shion took his time to answer. “I have my mom, but she lives in town and I can go see her fairly often. As for my friends. Well my colleagues are my friends. There is also Safu. She works as a psychiatrist here you know. We went to school together.”

Nezumi hummed. “You look like a workaholic to me.”

“Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life, as the saying goes.” Shion’s voice was cheerful. “And you Nezumi, don’t you have a family, friends, waiting for you to join them outside?”

Nezumi froze, his silver eyes looking empty for a second, before he closed them. “Why would I burden myself with people? I’m great on my own you know.” Shion seemed to hesitate. Nezumi caught his eyelashes – white, he noticed – fluttering, and his Adam’s apple moving as he gulped. Eventually he spoke, his voice careful.

“I’m sorry Nezumi… I checked your record yesterday.” Nezumi didn’t answer, but he resumed working, gaze focused on his task. He should have known better.

“It says you were suspected of trying to…”

“You should know when to stop for your own good, your Majesty.” Nezumi’s voice was gentle but his eyes were hard. “Don’t try to understand me, the only ones who tried are now dead.”

Shion fell silent for a few seconds, looking at the other man. He was quite beautiful, this man. His muscles stood out below his T-shirt. Even stained with dirt, his hands were elegant; his long, raven hair attached in a ponytail apart from a few strands sticking to his neck. His neck, so delicate and strong at the same time. Pale skin that led to a strong jaw… and even stronger eyes. Mesmerizing eyes the color of a blade. Shion breathed deeply. This beautiful man, who had spent more years in prison than most of the convicts here. He reminded him of shattered mirrors, whose numerous facets were so hypnotizing, but showed a distorted reflection of reality. Shattered mirrors were both amazingly entrancing and extremely sharp. So sharp.

Suddenly his eyes got teary, he didn’t know why. Nezumi’s eyes widened at the sight of the first tear rolling along Shion’s cheek. But as Shion resumed working without a word, he did the same.

When it was time for them to get their dinner, the convicts all went to the cafeteria. Most of them were exhausted from their day of hard working, and so the ambiance was rather quiet, considering the amount of people gathered in the building. Nezumi got himself a plate and a place next to a group of silent guys who didn’t seem to be too much of a nuisance. He ate his supper tranquilly. His mind wandered to the day’s events. Shion was too curious for his own good. He had the feeling the man wanted to get to know him. To get inside his skin, inside his head and analyse him like he analysed the pieces of bark they collected. You’ll only find fire. And at this rate you’ll end as scorched and hurt as the others. The others. There was a time when he wasn’t so hostile to his fellows. But that time was over now, and the only contacts he still sought were those from whom he had something to gain. Speaking of which…

“HEY! The rat! I heard you were a whore back in prison!” The man calling out to him seemed rather smug, all his friends laughing heavily around him. Nezumi was used to it. He could have ignored the remark but right now it seemed a nice distraction enough. Turning in his direction, he took note of the broad shoulders and nice enough lips. The guy looked rather clean. A good point for him. It was a change from those scums he had to hang out with lately. Yeah, this guy would do, after all.

Nezumi winked at him, lips turning up oh so slightly.

“Are you interested?” He got up, taking a few steps toward the guy, who stopped laughing altogether as whistles could be heard around them. “I can give you a sample if you wish.” The words were breathed against the guy’s neck as Nezumi sat on the table next to him. The guy turned to him, an eyebrow quirked in defiance. “Bored already?”

Nezumi’s smile broadened. “You have no idea…” Over the guy’s shoulder he could see a few guards speaking to one another, one of them running to the coordinator’s room. The image of a single tear rolling down a pale cheek, above a reddish scar flashed in front him. His lips crashed against the other guy’s, and he ignored his surprised inhale as he kissed the man fully.

In all honesty it wasn’t a really good kiss. The guy was apparently self-conscious, and he lacked the boldness Nezumi craved. But still it was lips, and tongue, and around them he could hear the whistles and people cheering excitedly. It was enough to clear his mind and get his body to go numb. The guy cupped his jaw, letting a moan as Nezumi licked his lips and it was enough of an invitation to get closer and grind against him. The guy’s breathing was hard and Nezumi could feel him shaking as he took his hands lower on his body. But right when it was getting interesting he felt a strong grip on his shoulder and didn’t have time to register as he was brutally thrown away from the panting guy’s lap.

“NEZUMI!!! IN MY OFFICE! NOW!”

Shion’s furious glare paralyzed Nezumi for a second, and he was still so far gone. But his coordinator didn’t give him the time to think further as he took him by the neck and strongly pushed him onward. This woke Nezumi up, and he broke away from the white-haired man, noticing his own rasping breathing as he retorted, “Hey, give me a break will you?!”

“How. DARE. YOU?!” Shion was furious. Almost scary. His blood-coloured eyes were fixed at Nezumi in a threatening glare. Nezumi shook his shoulders looking at the door, then at the man. “Show me the way, sir. I’m new, here, if you remember.” He dropped in a tone that was, hopefully, nonchalant.

Shion took him once again by the T-shirt and dragged him, mumbling something that sounded a lot like, “The hell I know you’re new here….”

They arrived in Shion’s office and the door slammed hard behind them. Shion didn’t take the time to sit behind his desk, he leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed.

“Explain yourself.”

Nezumi looked at him dumbfounded. He felt dizzy, blood slowly coming back to his brain as he took in his surroundings. He was starting to note the number of potted plants in the place, when Shion punched the door, startling him.

“EXPLAIN YOURSELF!”

Well. That was unexpected. “What is there to explain, if I may ask?”

“Oh. I don’t know. Like why the hell were you almost getting off on that guy’s lap in the middle of the fucking cafeteria?”

“Well I didn’t know making out was forbidden, you told me nothing about it yesterday.”

“That. Is not. The. Question.” Shion was trembling, his face red and eyes still furious, but his breathing was getting steadier.

Nezumi decided this little game had lasted long enough. He was tired, and needed to be alone “The guy made advances on me, I wanted to kiss him, we kissed, end of the story. What’s the issue with that?”

Shion’s exasperated sigh was enough of an answer. “Nezumi the guy was almost coming on you!”

“Well it’s not my fault if I’m a good kisser. Wanna try it?”

Nezumi didn’t expect Shion’s slap but the guy was too slow and he was faster, catching Shion’s hand before it hit his face.

“WHAT’S THE PROBLEM WITH YOU?!” the white-haired man almost howled at him.

“I could ask you the same question,” Nezumi growled. “Do you often hit your men, Shion?”

Shion looked like someone had just punched him in the face. Suddenly he started shaking, blushing heavily. His arms went limp. Nezumi released him, judging he was no threat anymore. Still he kept a cautious eye on him as Shion sat on his chair, taking his head in his hand.

“Please, forgive me, I forgot myself.” Shion’s shaky voice was low. Under Nezumi’s scrutinizing gaze, he took a series of deep breaths before finally raising his eyes. “What got into to your head Nezumi?”

“And what got into yours? We were only kissing. Nothing to panic about to my knowledge.”

“Normal people don’t go nearly having sex in public right after their arrival in an inmate reintegration center….”

“I arrived three days ago!”

“Still, Nezumi. What were you thinking? Did you want to get something from him? No one is allowed to use money here you know.”

“I’ve had enough,” Nezumi barked, turning around, but as he tried to open the door, the knob somehow refused to obey. “The fuck?” he growled, looking at Shion. “You locked us in?!”

“I wanted to have a proper talk with you.”

“Great! Don’t you have better things to do Shion? Your days are longer than mine and still I’m exhausted. Let’s be done with it.” The last sentence was almost a plea. Shion sighed deeply.

“I can’t have you prostituting yourself again… It’s for your own good….”

“For fuck’s sake SHION, I. Was. Not. Prostituting. Myself. I just freaking kissed a guy, that’s all!!” Nezumi was now gesturing broadly, hands above his head. Clearly frustrated way beyond his usual tolerance level.

“Nezumi you need to understand. Don’t give them reason to throw you back there…”

“That’s none of your business to my knowledge!”

Shion’s eyes hardened “Actually. It is. As your coordinator I’m responsible for your actions. But you’re right, I’m exhausted. You exhaust me. I still have a meeting in 10 minutes I need to attend. So I’ll let you go for now, but I don’t want to hear more about you tonight.” Nezumi’s relieved sigh was audible to the both of them. And he hated himself for that.

Shion got up to unlock the door. Before they parted ways, he took a last look at his convict. “Nezumi. You have to know. They’ll request a psychiatric examination for you. I won’t be able to prevent it. So if you want to avoid being sent to I-don’t-know-what-medical-facility. Please. Behave”. Nezumi’s eyes widened. Shion made an attempt at reaching toward him before obviously thinking better of it and dropping his arm.

“Goodnight Nezumi.”

As the other man left, Shion rested his head against the cool doorframe.

[no6secretsanta]

from: @norwayplaystheviolin​

to: @silver-eyes-hair-ties

Your very own star:

As he was walking through what once were the streets of No.6, he wondered if coming back was a good idea at all. It was his first time in the city in the last four years, four years in which his world had changed completely, and for the first time, the change was for the best.

The day he arrived, he had been walking aimlessly from one side of the now renewed city to the other, making himself busy with nonsense, not yet having the courage to face Shion after all that time. During that time, Nezumi saw firsthand how the city had developed itself. Everything was older now, the buildings worn out by nature and the people by experience, but it felt strangely better, more alive than the false perfection No.6 was trying to sell.

He wondered if he could call that new, alive city a home, after all that happened.

He wondered if Shion would let him.

A lot of things could change in four years, and as Nezumi saw it, that chances of Shion welcoming him with open arms were about the same as coming back to a Shion who had already forgotten him.

He probably should have, Nezumi thought. It would be the wise thing to do, after all. Nezumi was trouble for anyone who got close to him -that was pretty obvious- and if Shion weren’t an airhead he would have realized that the moment he first met him.

Not that he wasn’t grateful, of course he was. What Shion did for him was the only favor he was sure he wouldn’t ever be able to return. That was part of why he had to leave in the first place.

If he had stayed back in the city when the wall fell, his resentment would have gotten the best of him, and he would have ended hating the city and all its habitants, including Shion. And that thought alone frightened him more that the idea of being shot.

So he left. He went as far away as he could, meeting new people, finding new places and trying with every damn fiber of his being to find something, anything, that would give him hopes that, one day, maybe things could get better.

And find that shining light, he did.

He had been staying in No.2 for a while now, getting by as an actor in an open theater. Nezumi was sitting at the edge of the deck, his feet almost touching the water, just enjoying the first free night he’d had in a while. When he looked up he had been met with the same starry sky he was now so familiar with. After all, it had been his only roof on uncountable nights now.  Out of nowhere, he started reciting.

“People have stars, but they aren't the same. For travelers, the stars are guides. For other people, they're nothing but tiny lights. And for still others, for scholars, they're problems. For my businessman, they were gold. But all those stars are silent stars. You, though, you'll have stars like nobody else. When you look up at the sky at night, since I'll be living on one of them, since I'll be laughing on one of them, for you it'll be as if all the stars are laughing. You'll have stars that can laugh!”

He wondered who had been the person the author held so dearly to his heart to think of that quote – because there had to be someone; no one could form such a thing out of the blank. He wondered what the person had done to deserve such meaningful words, and if they had understood they were written in their honor. And for the first time, he thought about what the words meant to him.

His thoughts wandered immediately to a certain white haired boy. Someone who’s laugh Nezumi was sure could light up the entire universe. Someone who was as kind as he was brave, who was selfless and simple but so wise it was almost intimidating, and who’s soul shone just as the stars he was looking at.

And suddenly it was that simple, everything that he had always been looking for, everything he was sure he wouldn’t find, it had been right in front of his eyes the whole time. Because Shion was the flaming hope he’d always needed, the one Nezumi treasured more than anything. Because he had been the one to lend him a hand when no one else would, because he had made Nezumi that the world wasn’t all rotten, and because Nezumi couldn’t imagine himself spending forever with anyone else. As simple as that.

Nezumi had started his journey home the morning after.

As he approached Shion’s house, finally visualizing it at the end of the street, his heartbeat started racing even faster when he noticed that apart from the fact that the paint outside the bakery was more worn, everything was just as Nezumi remembered.

Each step felt heavier that the last, but Nezumi knew that if he didn’t do it now, he never would. And he never had thought of himself as a coward before, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to start now. Finally, he found himself in front of the bakery, the smell of fresh breath all around the place.

He took a deep breath and opened the door before his mind had a chance to think it better.

He found himself in a warm, cozy room where a woman was dispatching the only costumer in the shop. He had to be Shion’s mother, Karan. Her face looked like she was in her late forties, laughter lines around her mouth and eyes, and brown hair with a single white lock in its right side. He approached the woman cautiously, as if any false movement could make everything disappear.

“Hello, how may I help you?” the woman started, offering Nezumi a warm smile. It was the same as Shion’s. Nezumi’s heart clenched.

“I- um… Is- is Shion here? ” he silently cursed himself. He could do better than that sorry excuse of a sentence. “I’m a friend of his” he tried to explain.

The woman looked taken aback for just a moment before a flash of recognition crossed her eyes and her lips parted slightly.

“You’re Nezumi” she whispered so low, Nezumi had trouble hearing it, but despite that there was no trace of doubt in her words, and before Nezumi was aware of what was happening, he had been wrapped in a hug. “Thank you so much for what you did for Shion. I will never be able to repay you.”

The woman sounded at the verge of tears, and her tone was so passionate and so severe, Nezumi never doubted the truth in her words.

“Shion” he murmured. There was a pause in which Nezumi’s heart raced faster than ever. No one said a word.

The woman then sobbed loudly and hesitantly let go of the hug, slowly turning her back towards him.

“I’m sorry, Nezumi.” She said “I’m so sorry.” Her head hung low and her tone was so fragile, so utterly tired that she hadn’t needed to explain herself further for Nezumi to understand.

He had been too late.

Shion was dead.

Shion was dead and now he was completely alone in the world once more. The only difference was that he wasn’t sure if he could keep on living again with that knowledge.

The only thing he had dared to hope for was gone forever and Nezumi was sure he had to be cursed; because the kind of pain he was feeling couldn’t be compared to anything. It was so much worse.  

A single tear escaped from his eyes, and his knees gave out under his weight. He would have surely hit the ground if Karan’s arms hadn’t steadied him. He wanted to hug her, to cry his pain away like he had done when he was a kid, safe and comforted in the arms of his own mother. He wanted to scream, to curse heaven and hell alike for taking the only person he allowed himself to get close to, the only person that ever mattered from him.

He wanted to do so much. But he didn’t allow himself to.

Because deep inside, he knew all this was his fault. Deep inside, Nezumi knew that if he hadn’t left, Shion would still be alive.  And suddenly every single reason of why he had left struck him as idiotic. And really, how the hell did he came to the conclusion that being the airhead that Shion was, he would somehow dodge every ball thrown his way?

It was his fault, and he would spend the rest of his life alone, paying for that mistake.

Nezumi took a deep breath, trying to steady himself as better as he could, and forced himself to ask.

“What happened?”

The woman sniffed, and started speaking slowly, the sound of defeat in her voice.

“After what happened in the correctional facility, Shion started having chest pains. Sometimes they would get so bad he fainted, or stayed in a dizzy haze for days on end. He said it was just a bad case of flu, but I forced him to go to the doctor anyways.” She stopped for a second, trying to catch her breath as if she had been running “The doctor said that Shion’s heart hadn’t healed completely, that there was some tissue that was breaking, as if being pierced. There is medicine for that, so he told us we shouldn’t worry. It seemed lie it would get better until we saw the medicine’s price. There was no way we could afford it, and Shion wouldn’t let me lend money to pay it, so he only took less than half of the dosage, that was what we could afford. But he didn’t seem to get any better, his chest pains became more frequent, and they fired him from his other job because of it.”  Tears were freely falling from both of their faces now, and Nezumi felt the story Karan was telling him as if he had been there.

Because everything was so Shion it hurt.

“One day I came back from doing errands, I had left Shion asleep in his room, as it had been a bad day. When I came back, Shion wasn’t in his room, he wasn’t anywhere and I- I couldn’t find him. He didn’t even left a note.” She practically sobbed the last part. “I called Inukashi right then, and she seemed as worried as I was. We spent almost a week looking for him before we found him.”

Nezumi felt like he couldn’t breathe, his heart was racing and the world must have been ending right there and then, because it surely felt like it. Black spots appeared in his vision, and Karan was yelling at him, but he couldn’t hear any more.

“Shion’s dead” he barely heard himself say. He repeated it over and over again, as if by doing so the words would lose their meaning, and would somehow bring Shion back.

But that was impossible.

Shion was gone. Shion was gone. Shion was gone.

And part of Nezumi would die with him too.

“-zumi! Nezumi! Breathe! He’s not dead! Shion’s not dead”

Nezumi rubbed his eyes, just realizing he had ended up in the floor.

“What?” he murmured, not daring to think, not daring to even hope.

“Shion is not dead.” The woman repeated herself, this time checking Nezumi’s forehead with her hand. “We found him just in time, passed out from pain and exhaustion in a nearby park. We took him to the hospital immediately after. The doctor said that if he had arrived five minutes later, he would not have made it.”

Nezumi didn't understand.

“So Shion’s- ”

“Shion is alive. He’s been staying in the hospital four blocks away. He has been there for two weeks now. ”

Nezumi didn’t remember much after that, just running towards the direction Karan pointed as if his life depended on getting to that hospital. And maybe in a way it did.

At first the nurses had been reluctant to let him in, and in all honesty, he didn’t blame them. He could only imagine what kind if mess he looked like, with puffy eyes from crying and red cheeks from exertion. Then Karan came running after him and told the nurses to let him in. He was a very special person for the patient.

One of the nurses eyed him warily, but agreed to guide him to Shion’s room anyway.

“He’s asleep.” The nurse warned Nezumi before opening the door to the room “he didn’t have a good night. The pain was too much."

Upon entering the room, Nezumi didn’t know what to do with himself.

He had been looking for Shion, and there he was. His face so very, very pale it seemed almost transparent, and there was a thin layer of sweat covering his forehead. There were two IV’s attached to his left arm, and a heart monitor was placed right behind his bed. The boy’s breathing was ragged.

Nezumi’s hands were trembling.

Even there Shion was the most wonderful thing he had seen in all his life.

He sat down in the only chair the room had, and without thinking about it twice, took Shion’s free hand in his. He was so close, yet so far away.

It may have been that Nezumi hadn’t had a proper night of sleep on days, or the fact that he was too emotionally drained, but he fell asleep just after.

Nezumi woke up with a start.

The first thing he noticed was that the warm hand he had been holding when he fall asleep was no longer there. His head shot up so fast his vision swirled for a few seconds while a thousand worst-case scenarios formed in his head.

When his vision cleared, the first thing Nezumi noticed was that the light outside the windows had almost faded, which meant he had been asleep for several hours now. The next thing Nezumi saw was the person he had been holding to like a lifeline after so much time away, and those beautiful red eyes he would have died to see again, open and wide awake.

"I'm dreaming."

Nezumi wasn't sure who of them said that, but the next thing he was aware of was that he was hugging the lights out of Shion. And if this was a dream, if his subconscious managed to play him such a twisted illusion, he sure didn't wanted to wake up.

"You fucking idiot." His voice sounded strained and he wad sure tears wouldn't delay their appereance in Nezumi's face, with both anger and relief blossoming in his chest. "You absolute bastard. If you even dare to do something like that again you won't have to worry about your heart no more, because I will kill you. You hear me?"

But Shion looked just as shocked as he was when he woke up. His eyes still wide and his hands trembling a little, as he hesitantly returned the hug. The grip was weaker that what Nezumi had expexted.

"You're here." Shion whispered, his hands now caressing Nezumi's hair, as if to reassure himself hisnwords were true. "You're really here." Tears were freely cascading down both of  their cheeks now, but neither of them seemed to care. Shion looked at him."You look terrible."

Nezumi hugged him even tighter before answering.

"Look who's talking." Nezumi's expression changed, and a frown deepened his features "Do you know how much we worried about you? Why did you think doind something as stupid as that would be a good idea?"

Shion looked down, and made to let go of the hug. Nezumi reluctantly let him, but he was still holding the smaller hands.

"You don't understand." Shion's voice sounded barely above a whisper, and he avoided looking at Nezumi in the eyes. "It- the medicine is so expensive we almost didn't made it through the month, and it isn't even a solution to the problem, it's just delaying the inevitable. My heart will still give out at some point, you know, it could be years or it could be months." Shion had to choke down a sob. " I don't even know how we're going to pay for the hospital bill. I don't have a work anymore. I'm sorry you came all this way just to find this." He gestured towards himself and Nezumi couldn't do anything but to throw himself at Shion and hold onto him almost desperately again.

"You absolute moron. Do you think your mom cares for money or some stupid medicine more than she cares for you?! Do you think I do!? If your answer is yes you clearly don't know me, Shion"

"Yes, I-" Shion exhaled suddently, his trembling  hand reaching out for Nezumi's face , as if realising, understanding  "of course I know. I'm sorry, Nezumi. Please forgive me."

"You better be sorry" Nezumi said, any trace  anger gone from his body, instead replaced with utter adoration for the boy in front of him. "As for the money, don't get your panties in a bunch. I heard the theatre in town pays well, and I wouldn't mind to help to help you out, y'know" he shrugged half heartedly.

Shion's eyes went wide with surprise and he tried to sit up, just to be struck with a fit of coughing so hard Nezumi had to help Shion lay down again. By the time the boy steadied himsef again, his skin looked even paler. Nezumi had to stop him as he tried to sit again.

"Don't. Save your strength."

"But- you're- I thought you wouldn't come back, and even if you did, I thought you were going to go as soon as you knew of my... condition" Shion's face looked puzzled, fresh tear tracks running along his cheeks, he looked so small and so confused Nezumi almost wanted to look again.

And there it was. Nezumi had been expecting Shion to say something of the sort eventually; because Shion had such a tender heart which shattered too easily, and because Nezumi had been away for far too long.

Nezumi took a deep breath.

"I promised, didn't I?" Nezumi pet Shion's hair lightly, trying to comfort the youger boy  as much as he could "I almost lost you once, Shion. And I'll be damned if I let that happen ever again, no matter what I have to do." A flash of insecurity passed along Nezumi's eyes as he tried to blink away the wetness in his eyes "If you'll have me, that is."

Shion still didn't look convinced, though he looked more sad than anything. He still refused to look at Nezumi in the eye.

"But... why?"

"Is the fact that I love you enough?" The words were out before he even realized he said them "I can't bear a life without you, Shion. I just can't. And don't you dare say you're not worth it, because you're worth it, Shion, you are." Both of their eyes widened. Nezumi hadn't even wanted to say that. The words just had spilled out.

What frightened him the most was that he meant every single one of them.

Shion closed his eyes after a minute and suddenly Nezumi realized how tired Shion looked, the dark circles under his eyes more prominent than when Nezumi arrived to the hospital, but he seemed a ease, a peaceful demeanour in his body, and that was all that mattered.

They both stayed like that for a minute, tangled in each other arms. When Nezumi thought Shion had fallen asleep again, and when he too was about to close his eyes, he heard it. So quiet he almost wasn't sure it was real, but loud enough to know that was just what he had needed to hear all along.

“Welcome back, Nezumi. I love you too."

And in that hospital bed, not even knowing how they were going to pay for this single hospital visit, much less the special treatments Shion had to take to keep his heart beating, Nezumi found himself thinking that there wasn’t a luckiest person in the world. Because only he had been granted Shion’s love, and that was enough reason to give up on everything. After all, isn’t that the most precious thing one could have? Another person’s pure, undying love.

And even though they had a tough way ahead, Nezumi was sure that it would be alright, they would manage to beat everything that got in their way, like they always did. And he knew  that as long as they were together, they was nothing they could not overcome.

Because after years of searching, Nezumi had found his very own star, the one that could make all the others in the sky shine brighter without loosing its own light, and now he would never let him go.

El fin.

Notes:

Merry christmas, you!! I really hope you like this story! And that you have the best year 2018 anyone could ever have!! :'D

All my best wishes and cookies

Liz💕