#; { raised in flames and aged in rust ; mun

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unpopular opinion time:  i don’t want a reboot and i don’t want another movie.  disney broke my trust with dmtnt with the bs they pulled with hector all the way around and no one but geoffrey rush can ever truly, truly be hector barbossa.

thank you and goodnight.

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alright, i said i’d rewrite it to be more thorough, so here we go.  the infamous why amanda and her hector are not dmtnt compliant and never will be post.  this isn’t a reflection on the rpc, but it is on disney, because that movie was trash, and i’m not changing my stance on it.  at all.  full stop.  

x.  it cheapens the point of jack sparrow and the pearl.  first and foremost, in the established canon pre-dmtnt, jack sparrow was given the wicked wench - a ship he utterly fell in love with - to captain, and made to transport slaves.  when he set those slaves free on an island cutler beckett could not find (without knowing where it is), he was branded as a pirate and the wench was set on fire and sunk.  jack made a deal with davy jones - 13 years as captain to have her raised from the depths - and he would join davy jones’s crew.  to totally rewrite that as, oh, jack got it because some random dude died in a fight with salazar is literally cheapening the established sacrifie he’d made in pre-existing canon.

x.  it ignores pre-established canon on the compass and its origins.  jack bartered with tia dalma for that compass years ago, it has never, ever been mentioned it does anything beyond finding what the owner wants most in the world, and it’s not even like this is an obscure bit of something from a book.  it was literally in dmc.  tia dalma physically asks jack about the compass he bartered from her.  again, a case of ignoring the canon that came before it without even a cursory wiki check.

x.  it fucks with the timeline.  pre-dmtnt, cotbp took place in the mid-1740s.  now the timeline’s been shifted so much because of this trash heap of a movie, isn’t it supposed to be in the 1750s?  but somehow the kid will and elizabeth had is all grown up?  but timeline wise it’d have hector having a child while he was cursed?  which makes no sense because he was cursed, could not reach orgasm, and most importantly, could not achieve an erection because he had no heart beat.  it does nothing at all to check itself against the other canon pieces to make sure it works.

x.  it cheapens elizabeth’s sacrifices and independence.  so wait.  you mean to tell me because lizzie got a little dick from her blacksmith/pirate she’s suddenly going to forget everything she’s lost (her father, her home, james, her former life), forget that she was made pirate king, and become the good little housewife that goes back to corsets and dresses when she has a ship (the empress), and a territory as a pirate lord (singapore).  the same elizabeth that learned to use a sword after being kidnapped by cursed pirates.  the same elizabeth that got one up on hector barbossa (only the one, though).  the same one who made sure jack was sacrificed to the kraken.  the same one who stood up to sao feng.  the same one who used his belief she was calypso.  sure, sharon.

x.  everyone lost about fifty iq points to make the female lead seem smart, when the truth is the writers couldn’t write a smart female anyway.  carina’s badly written.  outside of her not needing to be hector barbossa’s daughter (nah, i don’t count that either, so don’t ask), she’s badly written in a way that makes it obvious they had no idea what they were doing, so they made everyone else stupider to compensate.  jack sparrow is not fucking stupid.  jack sparrow is wickedly smart.  that’s kinda been the point of all the other movies.  she could have been an interesting character, but it also pushes forth inaccurate tropes that aren’t historically sound.  women were teaching university at this point.  so...there’s that plot point as bullshit.  the first female professor of anatomy (which was the first female professor period) was in the 1730s in what would become Germany (Germany was not a unified nation at this point, it was several nation states ruled by several princes and also a good portion of it was part of the austria-hungary empire).  don’t fuck with me disney, i got historical sources.

x.  it makes everyone an exaggeration of surface qualities when it comes to pre-established characters.  gibbs is literally the only one that’s not wildly ooc.  that’s it.  jack is not stupid.  he has a drinking problem - literally all of them do, welcome to the 18th century - but he knows his limits and he’s not really stupid enough to pass them.  hector barbossa, the man who sailed an entire ship and crew over a waterfall at the end of the world and laughed on the way down would n e v e r be content to have a fleet of ships that cannot be attacked.  his vanity is not in his clothing or his looks.  that much gold on a ship is fucking stupid, it would make it capsizable.  these are not stupid men.  and yet according to dmtnt they sure are.

x.  will’s job is not a curse.  it’s a duty.  as long as he’s doing the duty, he should not be all barnacally.  the reason davy jones was squiddy is because he didn’t do the fucking job.  shit, even the lego games got this shit right, how did the movie fuck up so badly?  the “curse” is the squiddy-ness in the attempt to encourage jones back to his job.  will in this movie was bullshit all the way around, his characterization was so fucking bad.  and we’ve got the ending scene of awe where he was decidedly not fishy after ten years, so.  shrug emoji.  also, if all the “””curses””�� of the sea were broken, will would have dropped dead, y’all.  his heart.  it’s in a chest. that’s not the one he’s attached to.  think about it.

x.  the guillotine was not even a thing until 1789, where it was used in the french revolution.  do you know what the french revolution was not?  georgian era.  this is early industrial revolution era.  no, these are not mix and match.  and potc is clearly end of the golden age of piracy.  you know when that was?  early dates are 1730s.  it finally really started to sputter completely around 1750.  fuck you, disney, this is what i’ve dedicated my life to studying.

x.  and lastly, it just ignores fourteen years of pre-established canon.  i’m not tossing out 20 books and four other films for a movie that can’t even agree with itself (the magic in this movie makes no goddamn sense, when at least it did in the other four), much less everything that made it even possible.  if you do, great.  but understand i’m gonna want to do an au where it doesn’t exist, so it’s going to require plotting.

this isn’t everything, and it got saltier than i intended, but again:  not slamming anyone, but this is my stance on it.  the 20+ books and first four films are all i’ll consider canon, considering the newest film ignores all of it.  if they had called it a reboot, i’d have no issue with it (beyond terrible writing) but as it stands...i just can’t.  hector barbossa is important to me as a character, and it speaks volumes that after geoffrey rush has said he’ll keep coming back to hector as long as he stays believable and interesting, and has now said he’s done.  because he had a huge part in shaping hector from the beginning, which is fantastically lacking in dmtnt.  even in the bts pics they all look miserable, when the ones before are actually kind of fun to go through, because it’s obvious they were having a blast.  so, now you know, there are most of my issues, even though it’s been said before, but i think this time i’ve covered it in greater detail.  again, this does not mean i won’t rp with characters from it, but we’re going to have to have a sit down and plot session to make things work.

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what I meant to say: I have a strong emotional attachment to this character and I often find myself having moments where I want nothing more than to reach out and hold them when they go through certain situations. Allow me to explain how I feel.

what I actually said: ASFDGHJK;LJLGFKJDSHFH;DJFHGJHL FEEEEEEEEELS /gross sobbing

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QUESTIONS ABOUT THE MUN!

Copy this and fill in your own answers. Then tag some people to learn more about them.

• Favorite smell - coffee, coconut, plumeria • First Job - i worked at burger king for like a summer in high school.  next job was at a web development company. • Zodiac sign - taurus. • Favorite pizza - i'm actually really fond of cheese pizza.  pepperoni is good, too. • Favorite dog - i love all good bois and girls.  but my favorite dog is my dog, because he is not only a good boi, he is the best boi. • Favorite foot attire - i wear sandals and flipflops a lot.  fuck real shoes tbh. • Favorite Roller Coaster - i've actually never even been to a real theme park, so i've never been on a roller coaster. • Favorite candy - sour gummy worms and gummy peaches. • Favorite ice cream - peppermint. • Pet peeves - i have a few.  passive aggressiveness in particular will turn my asshole dial up to 11. • What are you listening to right now - the sound of me typing this final essay.  writing about wwii does not lend itself to being able to enjoy music. • Color of your vehicle - i actually don't own a car.  my camaro was dark blue, though. • Color of eyes - brown. • Favorite Holiday - halloween. • Night owl or day person - i'm a night owl. • Fave day of week - saturday. • Tattoos - i plan on earning my sailing tattoos, so those have to wait...until...i've...earned them?  i'm considering a couple of others, though. • Like to cook - i'm an okay cook, i guess?  like i can make edible food and i'm good at baking.  but i'm also lazy so. • Beer or wine or neither - between the two, beer.  otherwise whiskey or rum. • Can you drive a manual transmissions - i sure can. • Favorite color - lime green, aqua blue, cherry red. • Do you like vegetables - i have texture issues and a lot of vegetables set them off in a major way. • Do you wear glasses - nope. • Favorite season - fall and very early spring.

tagged by: @ventureseek tagging:  idk honestly i used my break to answer these so i gotta work.  if you wanna say i tagged you.

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okay but i lowkey have the deepest love for characters that knit and/or crochet because either of those things are what i’m doing 98% of the time i’m bullshitting on discord or trying to do drafts and asks.

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FIVE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN MUSE ( S ) &. MUN.

01 we both have a big helping of irish ancestry 02 we both are definitely pet people 03 i, too, eye roll like i long for sweet release from idiots 04 i’d like to think we’re both more educated than our speech says 05 we both have things for strong women who could end us

FIVE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MUSE ( S ) &. MUN.

01 i am sadly not a pirate 02 i’m also not tall 03 i do not have a scraggly beard (so chew on that @roipirate) 04 i’m not really all that fond of green apples 05 i have texture issues and he’s a garbage disposal that’ll eat anything

tagged by:  stole it from @awildthing tagging:  anyone that wants to

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Tag Thing

1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Tagged By:  @elizabethneeswannturner Tagging: Uh, I have no idea who has already done it so if you haven’t and you want to, say I tagged you, yes?

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true

APPEARANCE: I am 5'7" or taller · I wear glasses · I have at least one tattoo · I have at least one piercing · I have blonde hair · I have brown eyes· I have short hair · My abs are at least somewhat defined · I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY: I love meeting new people · People tell me that I’m funny · Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me · I enjoy physical challenges · I enjoy mental challenges · I’m playfully rude with people I know well · I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it · There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: I can sing well · I can play an instrument · I can do over 30 pushups without stopping · I’m a fast runner · I can draw well · I have a good memory· I’m good at doing math in my head · I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute · I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling· I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch · I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: I enjoy playing sports · I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else · I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else · I have learned a new song in the past week · I work out at least once a week · I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months · I have drawn something in the past month · I enjoy writing · fandoms are my #1 passion· I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES: I have had my first kiss · I have had alcohol · I have scored the winning goal in a sports game · I have seen an entire season of a show in one sitting · I have been at an overnight event · I have been in a taxi · I have been in the hospital or (and) ER (twice) in the past year · I have beaten a game in one day · I have visited another country· I have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” · I live close to my school · My parents are still together · I have at least one sibling · I live in the United States · There is snow right now where I live · I have hung out with a friend in the past month · I have a smartphone · I have at least 15 CDs · I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: I’m in a relationship · I have a crush on a celebrity · I have a crush on someone I know · I have been in at least 3 relationships · I have never been in a (serious) relationship · I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them · I get crushes easily · I had a crush on someone for over a year · I have been in a relationship for at least a year · I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: I have breakdanced · I know a person named Jamie · I have had a teacher with the last name that’s hard to pronounce · I have dyed my hair· I’m listening to one song on repeat right now · I have punched someone in the past week · I know someone who has gone to jail · I have broken a bone· I have eaten a waffle today · I know what I want to do with my life · I speak at least 2 languages · I have made a new friend in the past year

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Things I wanna know about my RP Partner Meme

FILL IN: I like to be called: amanda My favorite color is: aqua blue, lime green Gender: female One thing you should know about me: i’m old and cranky and i am a pain in the ass about as much historical accuracy as i can get.  wrong clothing cuts, wrong technologies, wrong turns of phrase, anything along those lines are meticulously weeded out of things i do with hector, as while i am a canon potc portrayal (despite what my numerous aus might otherwise say) i’m am a stickler for historical accuracy.  i’m a historian, y’all, you’re never going to train it out of me.  i honestly don’t expect it of everyone else, but know that i might purse my lips a little at a cut in a waistcoat from a wrong decade appearing in the late 1740s. One thing you should know about my muse: things hector is not here for:  torture porn.  i do my best to offer a well-rounded, many-faceted portrayal, and i get itchy in the teeth when it’s assumed he’s evil (spoiler:  he’s really not).  is he a good person?  hell, no.  but there are shades of grey and he is many of them.  don’t assume that he is 1. “unhinged”, 2. “evil”, or 3. out to kill every last person he comes across.  he’s not.  he’s like the rest of us and is just bumbling around trying to find the free food and hide from his annoying bff, okay. First language: english Second language?:  terrible french, awful spanish, and a smattering of portuguese

HIGHLIGHT: Age range:  under 13  | 14–17 |  18–22  |  23–25  |  26–29  |  30+  |  70+ | You don’t care. Am I okay with NSFW?: sure |  no |  sometimes My favorite/most common thing to RP is:  angst |  fluff  |  smut |  crack |  other (plotted epics are my jam) OC friendly?:  yes  |  no  |  depends RP blog  does |  doesn’t   contain OOC posts

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one of my favorite things:  when hector gets to dispense advice wrapped up as a threat so it doesn’t look like he’s giving advice.

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no, a ridiculous height difference is this.  behold, the height comparison no one wanted but are getting anyway, which is how much taller this asshole would be than me.

i’m a whopping 5′2″ in socks.

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GETTING  TO  KNOW  THE  MUN :

NAME : amanda

NICKNAME :  i honestly don’t have a nickname at all.  aj is my future professional name though. FACECLAIM :   lego hector.  because he’s fuckin’ cute. PRONOUNS :  she/her HEIGHT :  5′2″ BIRTHDAY :  may 8 AESTHETIC :  colonial meets pastel goth meets grunge meets nerd. LAST  SONG  YOU  LISTENED  TO :   madder mortem; armour FAVORITE  MUSE (S)  YOU’VE  WRITTEN :  hector, for the most part, otherwise i wouldn’t have written him for over five years.  tony stark ( @atomsage ) is a very close second, clocking in at almost four years.  they regularly fight for dominance as top muse.

GETTING  TO  KNOW  THE  ACCOUNT :

WHAT  INSPIRED  YOU  TO  TAKE  ON  THIS  MUSE :  i’ve loved hector from minute one in cotbp, tbh.  but that was a million years ago and i was in absolutely no way ready to take him on lmao.  i did a full rewatch several years ago and on a whim decided to go ahead and give him a try, and he stuck like glue and now i don’t think i’ll ever be rid of him.  which i’m fine with, he’s a character i never really get bored of because he’s always going to get himself into trouble. WHAT  ARE  YOUR  FAVORITE  ASPECTS  OF  YOUR  CURRENT  MUSE :  how multi-layered he is.  there’s his personality under the curse, and then there’s his personality in the later films, and in those later films there’s the captain personality, and the personality of the man, because those things are all very different.  just when you think you’ve reached his core, you find out no, it’s just more wrapping paper, and have to keep peeling the layers back.  he’s a character that’s greatly misunderstood by the fandom, i think, as something other than what he is, and picking him apart to expose that soft center he’s got is fun for me.  i guess, in short, i love that he can be whatever the other character he’s being written against expects, while at the same time genuinely being nothing like that at all in private. WHAT’S  YOUR  BIGGEST  INSPIRATION  WHEN  IT  COMES  TO  WRITING :  music is a big one.  i’ve got tons of playlists for just hector alone for different verses/types of threads.  insomnia seems to be a good one, i get most inspired to write for him really late at night.  uh...doing rewatches always gets me geared up to write for him, as does rereading the novels.  i might be slow, and sometimes i might be just too tired/brain dead to sit down and make words, but my inspiration for him is never lacking. FAVORITE  TYPES  OF  THREADS :  honestly, i like all types, but my favorites are monstrously long, epic threads heavy on plot.  angst and fluff and whatever is okay, i guess, but give me hector in his element feeding on an adrenaline rush any day of the week.  it’s where he’s at his best and most fun to write.  also any thread where he really gets into playing with words and talks in circles on purpose.  i like to see how far he can stretch it, and push the other character before he gets called on his shit. BIGGEST  STRUGGLE  IN  REGARDS  TO  YOUR  CURRENT  MUSE :  making him behave himself.  seriously.  i can’t tell you how many times i say “hector no” only to get back “hector yes”.  i feel like he should come with a preemptive apology because i might plot something with someone only for him to screw it to hell because he doesn’t feel like doing what was decided.

TAGGED  BY :  stole it from @intoxicatiing TAGGING :  idk say i tagged you

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Roleplaying Profile Meme: PLEASE REPOST, DO NOT REBLOG!  Feel free to add to any of your answers!  The purpose is to tell your partners about the way you write!  For the multiple choice ones,BOLD all that apply and, if you want, italicize if it’s a conditional answer!

– B A S I C S –

NAME : Amanda ARE YOU OVER 18?   Yes / No IS YOUR MUSE?   Yes / No

ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU WRITE WITH ON THIS BLOG? No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes / Highly / Private  ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU FOLLOW ON THIS BLOG? No (anyone) / Semi / Yes / Highly

IF YOUR MUSE IS CANON, HOW MUCH TO YOU ADHERE TO CANON? Not at all / A little / Some / Mostly / Strictly / (OC)   WHAT POST LENGTHS DO YOU WRITE? One Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella

DO YOU USE ICONS AND/OR GIFS? No / Gifs / Icons / Gifcons DO YOU WRITE ON OTHER PLATFORMS? No / Yes

WHAT LEVEL OF PLOTS DO YOU WRITE? Unplotted / Open Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics HOW QUICKLY DO YOU USUALLY RESPOND TO THREADS? Very Slow (more than a month) / Slow (3-4 Weeks) / Average (1-2 Weeks) / Fast (Less Than One Week) / Very Fast (Less Than Three Days)

WHAT TYPES OF THEMES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add!) Fluff / Angst / Smut / Action / Tragedy / Domestic / Family / Conversational / Hurt-Comfort / Romance WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add!) High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romantic/Drama / Action / Adventure / Espionage

ARE THERE ANY THEMES YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WRITING ON YOUR BLOG? (not triggers) No / Yes (abuse plots are a no-go) DO YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS?  HOW DO YOU REQUEST IT TAGGED? No / Yes  

– S H I P P I N G –

WHAT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / Physical  / Sexual WHAT TYPES OF PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / Physical  / Sexual

DO YOU HAVE OTPS? No / Chemistry only / Yes DO YOU HAVE NOTPS? No / Yes / I don’t know

WHAT IS YOUR MUSE’S SEXUAL ORIENTATION? Heterosexual / Heteroflexible (possible with chemistry but no guarantee) / Bisexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual  / Pansexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual )/ Attracted to masculinity / Attracted to femininity / Attracted to androgyny

WHAT IS YOUR MUSE’S ROMANTIC ORIENTATION? Heteroromantic / Heteroflexible (see above) / Biromantic  / Homoflexible / Homoromantic  / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Sapioromantic / Aromantic  / Polyamorous / Manipulo-romantic

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WRITING SMUT? No / Selectively (maybe) / Yes

HOW EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP DO YOU SHIP ROMANTICALLY? Autoship / During Plotting / After A Couple IC Interactions / Several IC Interactions / Slow Burn / Depends on partner & muse

ARE YOU OPEN TO TOXIC SHIPS? No / Selectively / Yes

ARE YOU OPEN TO PROBLEMATIC SHIPS? (canon history, age difference, complicated, etc.) No / Selectively / Yes

ARE YOU OPEN TO POLYSHIPPING? No / Selectively / Yes / Maybe (there’s no guarantee hector will go for it)

ARE YOU AN EXCLUSIVE SHIPPER? No / Sometimes / Yes

DOES CRACK SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? No / Sometimes / Yes

DOES CROSSOVER SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? No / Yes / Depends

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speaking of 18th century cosmetics.  did i tell you guys i have some rouge from a period recipe from 1745?  it works like a charm and since it’s made from - surprise - scented hair powder (also a period recipe) it smells amazing?  it’s this tiny jar of it but a little bit goes a long, long way.

also i have a same period “kohl for darkening of the eyelids” made from, i believe, willow charcoal?  it’s been tweaked a little to make it safer but charcoal is a perfectly acceptable eyeliner, believe it or not.  you just wet your eyeliner brush and have fun, since it’s a powder.  wings for days, folks.

(of course i have period cosmetics, have you actually met me)

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tag drop 1/???

it’s happening hold on to your panties.

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Playlist Shuffle

Rules: we’re snooping upon your playlist. Set your entire playlist on shuffle and report the first 20 tracks that pop up.

001.  the wailin’ jennys; barefoot floors 002.  inon zur; echoes of the dead 003.  tori amos; crucify 004.  eluveitie; the call of the mountains 005.  caravan palace; rock it for me 006.  depeche mode; policy of truth 007.  laura marling; bonny portmore 008.  dion & the belmonts; the wanderer 009.  dinah washington; is you is or is you ain’t my baby 010.  misfits; this magic moment 011.  mudvayne; (per)version of a truth 012.  bill withers; ain’t no sunshine 013.  howlin’ wolf; back door man 014.  the dead south; in hell i’ll be in good company 015.  sheldon allman; crawl out through the fallout 016.  brad derrick; weapons drawn 017.  wardruna; ansur 018.  big bill broonzy; key to the highway 019.  wardruna; iwar 020.  otis redding; cigarettes and coffee

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.tag drop