#:^) heehee hoohoo lifes funny

[prwlnglthr]

homicidal king who walks around telling everybody how much he values them in the most sappy schmaltzy ways possible then rejects himself in the middle of his own proposal. he's so embarrassing. put him in a laundry machine and turn on the spin cycle. // smth silly stupid silly

[sinnabee]

hey guys! doing a chill stream where we listen to my fav silly podcast, This Paranormal Life, and i work on packing stickers/drawing doodles to go with them! :D it'll also be a good chance to answer any questions any of you have about the charms! Feel free to stop by and hang out! ^^

[dog-girl-zezora]

Been so normal lately I spent that past 2 days having a bipolar episode and crying through work only to end up habby and brain dead again

Girl what the fuck is wrong with you

Life is good life is ending make up your mind

[visillantopng]

LOOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYBODY LOOK NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOWWW !!!!!!!

thank you all so much for participating! this was so much fun and really makes me want to start a blog, Elvis sends love to all of you, but for now, he's got a friend to meet up with. (based on rps!)

(Stanley owned by @visillantopng ! STRICTLY PLATONIC, NOTHING ABT SHIPPING PLS IT MAKES US RLLY UNCOMFORTABLE.)

[marzipanandminutiae]

That cryptotheism guy has several spicy (bad) takes, so I'm not surprised to see this

oh no, i'm aware

(edit: I don't know if they're cool with the term Guy, so while it's commonly gender-neutral nowadays, might be a good idea to avoid using it for them if there's doubt. someone brought this to my attention after the post went live; I answered it without the edit on the assumption that it was originally intended neutrally. but the disclaimer seems to be important, so. disclaimer!)

a few years ago, they made a bunch of posts about how they and their boyfriend thought it was okay to shoplift from small family businesses for basically no reason besides "I Wanna and I'm Cool and Edgy; Die Mad You Cringe Babies"

like they're claiming they weren't saying Barnum was admirable in any way, just that his "relatively honest" con man style had a place in American folk mythology and like

A. he was not even relatively honest; he clung to those lies for deal life until he couldn't make money off them anymore. people just caught onto what he did because he did it so often. that man would not admit wrongdoing until he had no choice whatsoever, which is not the same as "heehee hoohoo see if you can rumble my illusion trick, visitors! I'll give you a shiny dime if you figure it out!" You Got Caught A Bunch and You're Honest are not the same thing

B. saying that you admire a certain thing. and then citing someone as an example of that thing. kind of implies that you admire them? like what did you mean for me to take that as? am I going insane here?

I wasn't even mad at them! a lot of people have a fictionalized vision of Barnum, if not from The Greatest Showman than from years of fiction using him as the Loveable Con Artist Rogue stock character without any real understanding of his actions! TBH I meant my reblog more in light of "hey you might not have realized this about this guy, but you should probably know"

but they're doubling down, so. huh. I guess that's that.

C. couldn't they have gone with like. the many many con artists of 19th century America who just claimed to be a European royal or Lost Heir to the Whatever Name and rode that train as far as it would go? that's funny while still being objectively a dick move if we're honest, with very little Actual Human Slavery involved in most cases

like Cassie L. Chadwick/Elizabeth Bigley (1854-1907), whose most well-known scam was pretending to be a daughter of various wealthy American and Canadian families- the Cunards, the Carnegies, etc. -and defrauding banks who trusted a famous name

plus Carnegie felt so bad about over his name being used that way that he built a library about it! win/win! (unless you're one of her victims of course)

[collateral-joy]

I would like to hear what you have to say about NeedleTodd…

Okay so here's the skinny

Bill Needle and Gerry Todd are my favourite SCTV characters, and it's not close. I originally thought Todd would be my absolute favourite when I started watching (I began with Series 4) until I hit 4/1-8 and Needle came along and snapped my brain like a twig.

Figure 1: Bill Needle character Bill Needle. Bill Needle Dave Thomas SCTV Bill Needle

Anyway. Now they're tied.

Being a self-professed Dick Rave enthusiast (that is, Rick and Dave; Moranis and Thomas; those fellas what play Bob and Doug), this should come as no surprise. Besides the McKenzie brothers, Todd and Needle are the duo's default station characters. Pals with Caballero, Prickley, LaRue, Heatherton, Bittman, ya know. This is established both by their sheer screentime and by their contributions to various wraparound segments.

Figure 2: This is how you know you've made it

Which makes it all the more unfortunate that they only have one interaction - during the Staff Christmas Party. To be fair though, it's a delightful thing. Needle says "video" funny, Todd says "Needlebaum", they both cackle heartily, and the door is left open for them to collaborate on any number of schemes in the future.

Figure 3: "What the hell are we laughin' at?"

They don't, of course, but why let that stop us? I think the appeal of their potential dynamic is pretty clear on the surface, but to expound on it a bit: Needle is flummoxed and lightly exasperated by Todd, while Todd is amused by how Needle is tying himself in knots. Neither of them can quite figure the other one out, though for very different reasons. And yet, they somehow feel compelled to keep spending time together. Gradually, these two loners realize they might've found an actual, honest-to-goodness friend.

Figure 4: Todd introducing Needle to ham radio is just the first step. Can you imagine the two working together on a program? Doing a call-in show together? There's always some new video

In the early days of my newfound NeedleTodd devotion, I wrote almost 2500 words of dialogue between the two, most of it in one sitting. I think that's what it comes down to; they're a lot of fun to bounce off each other! Filling in the considerable blanks between these two funny guys is a thoroughly pleasurable experience.

Figure 5: heehee, hoohoo

So yeah, that's my spiel. NeedleTodd Forever, Dick Rave Life, such and such. Thanks 4 Listening!

[stabbyfoxandrew]

loveeeee how jean is such a hater that even though andrew knows he’s there he refuses to walk out and use the bathroom. so funny i love him <3 the mafia boys are all such sillies

heehee hoohoo i love making jean a huge bitch it's just soooo fun to me

but also like... if he had gone out there, andrew might have said something to him. and jean had a loaded gun. so like... he was holding his pee to save a life. kglfgdgjl

<33

[journeytodrawiii]

Hahaha.. littel meme. I thought this was funny. I flipped the canvas to check if I had ruined my life.. and tonk. I uh.. think this is quite heehee hoohoo if you will, comedic even. 

[skittlewaffle]

hi i love your au it gives me so many spaghetti and feelios 🥺 ive been blessed with sillies. My life is complete. My waters are cropped, my paid are taxes. I sleep well knowing this au exists

Awwww i’m so glad !!!!!!! 💖💖💖 I’m always happy to deliver the goofy sillies and the funny heehee hoohoos !!!

[miguelmybeloved]

hey!!! I hope you're well!

anyway I really don't have any idea or prompt to ask but.. could you please explain yours AU's a bit more? you got me curious 👁️👁️(maybe later I have and idea but idk)

have a nice day!!❤️✨

hi!! thank you for the kind message !! and sorry it took me so long to respond orz i've been busy...;;

so my AUs are super underdeveloped like they're really only ideas at this point and i *was* planning on developing them more this summer but *looks at the calendar* that kinda went bust... 😬

but i love miguel and i love talking about this so!! thank you for asking about them lol 😆

"REALISTIC" AU

that name doesn't really feel accurate i just literally don't know what else to call it but its my AU where MC is from miami (aka self-insert au ig?? even tho its supposed to be a self-insert anyway?? idk idk) and i just kinda wanted to explore the ramifications of an MC that knows a Miami that's very different from the one that miguel is in, not only bc its the 80s but also the criminal element and also the general areas of miami that i grew up in are very different from where miguel grew up... i also wanted to do HEAVY research about miami in the 80s (maybe i can show off my reading list lol) to get a more "authentic" portrait of the city ??? SO LIKE all that mixed together would kinda end up changing the plot up bc like ofc it'll still be romantic bc im a simp BUT bc im writing like a narrative with other themes and an "OC" and not a romantic visual novel, the elements i'll steal from CMIM are more like the skeleton of the plot and not a scene-for-scene remake, ykwim? so bc of that, i also imagined it shorter and also like a movie script - three-act structure and all that jazz SO!! its an action/adventure/crime/romantic/comedy taking place in 1980s miami!! ALSO U WENT TO SEE A MOVIE AND GOT SUCKED IN SO LIKE i wanted to explore that and the "man out of time" angle that the visnov can't rlly get into bc it can't assume anything about what time period ur from without breaking the self-insert illusion AND ALSO i rlly wanted some ängst re: if this is all real or if everything is gonna end once the "movie's over" ya kno i just love that drama spice of "do u love me bc ur supposed to love me, is any of this ur choice, what will happen when i wake up" and all that jazz 🤭 heehee hoohoo

IT IS MY BABY AND I WISH TO SEE IT COME TO LIFE

ACTOR AU

bc every fandom's got one lmao 😉 its just the perfect way to keep the original story in tact while also keeping characters that you love alive lol (no spoilers but i saw *****'s death coming from a MILE away) so yeah this is just a silly self indulgent AU where everyone lives and CMIM is a movie that miguel stars in and MC is a production assistant that dreams of being big shot director someday or smthg and then oops they fall in love lmao NGL as i was writing this down, i realized this would make a pretty decent "singing in the rain" AU LMAO 😂 its not perfect 1-for-1 but like miguel as don, mc is cathy, ramon is cosmo, stella is lena 🤣🤣🤣🤣 this is too funny to me lmfaoooo i'd prob take insp from singing in the rain as far as plot goes bc i literally had none but still is more of an "actor au" than a "signing in the rain au"

also just realized that the movie they make in the actor AU could be the "movie" im writing for the realistic AU loool 😆

[aquato-family-circus]

(chinhands) Ford for the character ask meme!

First impression:

Oh I remember you old man, you're funny bacon man, heehee hoohoo

Impression now:

jesus christ how horrifying

what can I say honestly. Ford's still really funny. He's sad. He did a terrible thing and I get it and his entire deal is just very fascinating. I've said it before and I'll say it again the gap in time between the two main games really helped from an outside sense to mythologize Ford so we saw him in the same light Raz did, and subseqeuntly got our shit rocked in the same way. I love it so much.

Favorite moment:

It's hard to pick a favorite... rn I'm thinking about "I'm a heartfelt love letter!" and "Lucy, those were peaceful protestors..."

in a completely different direction tho, the threat chef Ford utters when you hit him is so fucking unhinged it's hilarious

Idea for a story:

I've wanted to explore Ford's early days with Otto exploring each other's brains and having an absolute terrible (fantastic) time getting their asses kicked for so long

Unpopular opinion:

another one where I don't think I have an unpopular opinion!

Favorite relationship:

Otto and Ford or Ford and Lucy are tied bro they're both really good. the people in his life able to completely dunk his ass

Favorite headcanon:

Ford's got none gender with left guy

[transsexualhamlet]

don't apologize, this was exactly what I was going for! you wouldn't know how enjoyable getting those hyperfixation essays out of you is. I love them a great deal. all of them. you're one of those people who are unmatched at analysis.

now back to questions: what's your take on Ivan? I saw he was one of the possible test results, but since I didn't get him, I'm questioning you personally now

(I cannot get Lent out of my head now thanks to you...)

HEE HEE :))

Here, I'll screenshot Ivan's answer.

I have lots of thoughts on Ivan tbh, although they're complicated.

I know Asagiri never meant for him to be an important character or to ever really expand upon him but i am never going to get over the fact that Asagiri really just went "oh yeah by the way guys here's this absolutely nutzo crazy dude claiming that Fyodor fucking lobotomized him. He gets defeated really easily though so no worries."

LIKE? HI?

Most people just take that at face value and go "oh yeah whatever, it's a villain minion, all villains have minions, he's weird and evil and pathetic ok moving on" but like. Can we hold on a minute????

If I remember correctly, Ivan said that Fyodor took out the part of his brain that feels sadness and pain, which from my very limited knowledge of the brain is just objectively not a thing that works. That's just not. A thing you can do. Cause yeah you could stop the part that recognizes pain signals, but that doesn't make anyone any less sad, it just makes them not feel physical pain.

And he wasn't like, literally lobotomized, because if that were so he would not be. Yaknow. Dancing around as he is. And he has bandages around his entire head, which would not be the case since lobotomies don't require you to cut open ur damn skull.

Well you know, it pretty much follows that whatever he's claiming Fyodor did to him is. Objectively not the case, because it's nonsensical, and Literally Why would Fyodor fucking lobotomize a guy that's so. What. What is the point of that

So I mean, I have two theories, one of them funny and one of them not

Either Ivan is just high as fuck all the time and thinks it would be funny to wrap bandages around his head and larp as a lobotomy victim and then Fyodor comes back like "Kolya came crying to me saying I lobotomized you what lies are you putting in his head" and Ivan being like heehee haha hoohoo

OR that Fyodor is definitely messing with his head, but in a normal manipulatory and ability-assisted way not a literal i am squishing your grey matter way. They definitely have a fucked up awful relationship, and I think I consider Ivan to be the narrative opposite of Nikolai, though they are genuinely similar.

So in that case Ivan would also still be on so many drugs all the time because look me in the eye and tell me that man isn't zooted out of his fucking mind

But in my opinion, the case of how something like this came to be with Fyodor was a situation similar to Shibusawa. Fyodor is someone who provides the worst sort of comfort to people.

Shibusawa liked Fyodor because Fyodor offered him concrete answers to the useless mess of confusion his life was, he provided easy comfort and a way to exist that satisfied the Hole in his Heart TM.

And I think Ivan probably had the same kind of problem- he was utterly lost in the world with no clue how to function probably scared of anything and everything and with no one to rely on and a terrible opinion of himself. The second he met Fyodor he was probably overjoyed even knowing Fyodor was this actual criminal mastermind who would probably manipulate and control him, use him and throw him away because it made him feel needed. He was seeking an escape from sanity to throw himself into something awful on purpose, and that seems to be Fyodor's specialty.

So Ivan probably jumped at the chance to get in on it, because Fyodor sympathized with his suffering and was the only one to give him a genuine solution. "Oh, so you need direction and relief? You need to be of use to people? If you truly see no use in your sanity, I could take it off your hands. You could join my terrorist organization and I'll lobotomize you! You can give up your free will altogether, because these things hurt for you to wield, and I'll take care of you, you'll be very helpful to me, god in the real, and I thank you very much" And Ivan cries tears of joy

Of course, Fyodor doesn't literally lobotomize him, but Ivan doesn't have to know that! I feel there must have genuinely been some ability intervention that did fuck him up farther than just being high though, Fyodor wants to make sure Ivan wouldn't ever betray them (or anyone else, that's yknow, why it's so easy for him to snatch up mentally ill people from the streets and make them worship him)

The case is Fyodor does genuinely care about Nikolai and Ivan very much so he does but his "caring" is I Am Going To Control You Completely And Play God Because I Don't Know How Else To Help

So no, I don't think his brain was genuinely messed with because that just doesn't seem like a Fyodor thing further than in a metaphorical sense. But Ivan is for all intents and purposes utterly under the control of Fyodor and also totally fine with that. As in it's a combination of he wants it bc he's very mentally ill and also it's a bdsm thing hiehrjgidfkslfljgujk

I have a fic about him trying to explain this whole Situation that I've been planning to write Forever because I really do care for Ivan a lot and I think there's a lot I could write with him that would explore not only him but Fyodor and Nikolai and their view of the world but I keep getting sidetracked

[zontiky]

au where lila is adopted imto the umbrella academy

*rubs my gay little hands together* heehee hoohoo

first off im gonna say sorry diego :/ 

KJRWKESFDHK JOKING IM JOKING SORRY

so lila grows up to be less of a manipulative shit bc she doesnt need it to survive or gain love from her parent

no thats not right

she receives real/”real” love from grace and reggie doesnt even pretend to give them love so unlike the handler who used love as leverage

so while lila is still cunning and sly and shit she also doesn’t try so hard to manipulate the hargreeves, bc, theyre her family

controversial take but i think lila and five would be close

this take is also hilarious but maybe only to me

both of them are good at getting things done and getting their way and also maybe it has smth to do with lila really liking how fives powers work?

it would really hit her hard when five leaves. bc that was her friend right there. maybe she and ben and/or vanya form a bond based on being bitter five left them behind

lila and ben would be a good friendship i would like to see it

six seven eight hanging out... hhh

OOOH MAYBE VANYA WOULD BE 8? because she’s powerless now? no no the number system existed before their powers came in nvm

its arbitrary so w/e lila’s #8 kjshssd

i think it’d once again be harder to blank slate vanya because,,  lila can use vanyas powers. she knows vanya has powers. maybe im not making any sense but also i just think it’d be nice for vanya to catch a break

maybe when little allie tries to rumour lila into forgetting lila pulls out that uno reverse card

or uno DEFLECT card lmao

but assuming vanya is still powerless, i still think vanya would have a bit of a better upbringing than canon

1) vanya has TWO other girls in the house who hang out with her and do girl things and yay sisters! 2) lila... gets it. her powers are reliant on the other’s powers. without them using their powers first, she basically has nothing. she gets it! vanya may be completely powerless but lila doesn’t have powers unless they’re training or they’re fighting and so vanya and lila would be close too

maybe vanya still gets some training bc of that! because if lila, part-time powerless, trains, and doesn’t use powers for half of battles, maybe vanya, “powerless,” can train and fight too

and i know this isnt a good thing bc like. hellooo child soldiers lmao?? but also vanya would feel like shes more of a part of the family and would have a friend by her side and maybe wouldnt even want to write the book in the first place

but also at the end of s1, when it’s discovered vanya DOES have powers, and they’re the most powerful of them all, actually, maybe lila grows bitter

i mean wouldnt you? the one person who was “less” than you, who you were better than in even the slightest way, is suddenly the baddest bitch around

so that sets up some interesting stuff for s2 haha

maybe ben doesn’t die

with another person on the mission, maybe somebody has his back. maybe ben doesn’t die

that’s assuming ben’s death was accidental tho bc we’ve all seen the death-by-horror-suicide theories

but anyway maybe lila stops ben’s death just by being there and fighting other people so ben has one more person covering him. maybe she’s there and it doesn’t matter and ben dies anyway. idk

if ben dies anyway then i think lila would be Extra Bitter but also really sad

five left her and now ben too? the people she cares most about keep getting torn away from her

and that’s not a good way to think because obviously her other siblings are hurting too, and theyre there with her too, and theyre there to do their best to support her in their own shitty way, and lila cares about them too...

but still. 

also tho lila and diego friendship... this is jumping back up a couple bullets back to before or right after five left

in s2 lila and diego both being in the asylum together would still be funny. lila pulls the bacon out of her sock and diego rolls his eyes and takes it, not even phased, because she’s been doing this for yearsss

ok if five doesnt leave and ben doesn’t die i think they might have a bit of a better life post-academy? but also if five does and ben does then i have no idea what lila would be

maybe she opens a shop

yeah i think that would be nice. lila’s store au JHSFKJHKSD

i think she might follow one of the siblings (diego or vanya) in their career paths bc its been drilled into her from the beginning that shes nothing without someone else to copy

maybe diego bc he still has powers... maybe she’d want to keep at least some powers

but if vanya didnt get suppressed or still got trained at least i think she’d go with vanya because they just do better together and diego is a bootlicker anyway /j but no seriously i get why he chose the police academy but also why not a fucking firefighter bitch?

FIREFIGHTER LILA. I LIKE THAT

maybe vanya plays in the orchestra and lila plays in a band

OK BUT IF BEN DOES DIE. maybe she follows klaus around for a bit because she cant bear to let ben go and when she copies klaus’ powers she can see him... even if just for a bit

that would impact ben’s arc a lot too because he’s not completely alone with only klaus, who is high out of his mind most of the time to keep him company, but also lila too, who i dont think would mess with drugs

so basically lila being added to the mix would mean everyone is just a little less alone i think

maybe luther is also less... mm idk how to put this

maybe he’s disillusioned a bit earlier regarding reggie? because he’s supposed to be #1 and the best but lila can do just what he can too. she can lift cars and throw people from buildings too. so how special is he really?

GOD i love thinking abt this. lila would impact all of their stories, in major or minor ways, and its really cool to explore how that would transpire

i think allison might also be a bit humbler before stepping into marriage in regards to using her powers

because if someone uses her own power on her as she’s growing up i feel like she’d learn that doing that has big consequences faster? maybe she’d still rumour her way into some roles or some classy interviews or just in general use her powers to help her career a bit... but i think with her knowing what its like to be rumoured she wouldn’t use it in personal situations. so maybe she wouldnt rumour claire.

maybe claire doesn’t exist at all bc it’s implied she rumoured patrick into falling in love with her :bonk: or maybe she still married patrick but later on because their relationship needs to develop first

oh also maybe pogo would be less of a BITCH in s1 because lila is persuasive tm 

yeah um thats all ive got alsfkds

THIS IS A FUN GOOD AU. i hope u like my Thoughts

[thebitchelorette]

Funnie Tumblr post about generations b like: hehe boomers racist millennials depressed gen z gay

The replies: ah yes revolutionary humor funniest thing I have seen in my life you my friend have invented comedy haha heehee hoohoo

[other-peoples-coats]

Tags from @bytebun​

#:D#coats I am so delighted to add to my Rolodex of obi-wants heehee hoohoo#ur the only one who understands my deranged obi-wan thoughts. like weird little guy obiwan yes but obiwan who makes the hard call#who always has to be the one to make the hard call#Also the headcanon that palpatine was hardcore trying to off obiwan is one of my faves it just makes so much sense. How do we explain#the batshit missions he gets? Well this is a tv show we need some action.#but also my man is just SO unlucky star of ill fortune etc. But ALSO his boss guy is so totally trying to kill him; specifically#We are lucky that his capacity for violence is surpassed by his capacity for compassion can u imagine. Yikes#sw#me abt the murderpuppy obi also.. RIGHT right like. little blorbo rolodex. poor little meow meow to ‘damn, bitch, you live like this?’ to ‘oh YIKES’ range. he’s such a weird little dude full of weird little choices, and I know, like, it’s because in the movies he’s one actor playing another actor playing a space monk who’s backstory kind of totally changed between the first and the second actor, and then the tv/expanded universe needed ‘dude who is not the main character but yes he is but no he isn’t’, but also. The choices made about his character as a character are just so! so!! weird!! I’ve said before and I will say it again, bro’s so close to being a full serial killer level ice cold ‘some of you may die; that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make’ kind of monster, held back by the inherent love and awareness of other people’s worth. genuinely think that if the universe rolled out slightly differently -- not HUGELY, just, like, a couple things -- we would have...not necessarily sith lord obi-wan, but very much a ‘my way or death by lazer sword, this is for your own good’ sort of...emperor dude. idk man it’s about the duty and the knife edge of making the hard choices, and yes, obi-wan is a man who looks at the greater good and makes the choices, even if they cause himself harm, but I don’t think it’s impossible for him -- with a few different life experiences, maybe, or a few different lessons from the life experiences he has -- to look at the greater good and think he knows best. ‘Unfortunate for you, but this space highway will bring prosperity to the outer rim, so your planet is getting blown up, you have six days to leave.’ sort of knows best. the headcanon skeevy sheev was trying to kill him is the funniest fucking thing on the planet. you are a sith lord trying to end the jedi order and turn the galaxy into a fascist dictatorship, but also, you can’t kill this One Bitchy Space Twink who doesn’t even know you’re trying to kill him. He doesn’t even know you exist! he’s just out there, living his space monk life, doing space wizard things, and you are trying to kill him so bad, and then the war starts and you become his kind-of boss and you still can’t kill him!! his ENTIRE PEOPLE get genocided and you still can’t kill him!! when he finally dies it’s because he’s just like ‘alright I’m out’ and fucking DIPS. straight up vanishes from existence!! also funny to me that, if we assume friendpatine was actually out here trying to kill obi-wan ‘most cursed psychic space monk’ kenobi, obi-wan was just! wandering about his space monk life, being like, man, the universe hates me :) this is fine and normal :) everyone fights off legions of bounty hunters while coups erupt around them constantly :) :) Like I know, meant for infinite sadness, but also, my dude, my bro, it’s the cursed amulet that is your son-brother’s creepy uncle figure, normal people do not have pirate cult assassins attempt to turn them into paste every time they go to the space grocery store for space milk at two am. Please get help. tbh lbr, his capacity for violence is surpassed by his capacity for compassion in part because he’s aware of said capacity; not being aware of just how violent you can be -- and taking steps to mitigate that -- is how you get anakin. (I’m right and everyone fucking knows it.) murderpuppy is so blorbo. so meow meow. bark bark bite bite indeed. little ball of trauma I am shaking like the pringles can. he is extremely just...takes everything about canon obi-wan and dials it up to eleven, which is bad but also good, but mostly bad. he’s the dude living in the no-chip au equivalent, except, crucially, he would really like to be the dude living in the universe where it’s a chip making him do this.

I am thinking about the fanon I've seen that Obi-Wan was promoted to the Council in part/mostly because he was Good At War.

rotating it in my brain like the dish in a microwave.

something something greatest strengths are also greatest flaws written in blood and trauma, something something they do not want you except for when the thing inside you that they fear is a wolf they think they can tame

(something something your master was known for taking on lifeforms others knew better than to let near them, and you were just as much a monster and just as much something to be tamed as any other creature he took on)