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tobysbliss · 3 years ago

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USER FIZZTHELEE PULLING UP WITH ANOTHER TICKLE DREAM, AND HOLY FUCK ITS A LOT /POS

this is a lot of words to the point its just a terribly set up fic so props to you if you read the whole thing

Alright. So Tommy posts a new video, Sadly i don’t remember what it was called nor do i remember what channel he posted it on, but it was probably the Tom Simons channel. However i can remember the thumbnail, i just dont know how to explain it.

Anyways. This is everyone in the video:

Tommy(duh)

Tubbo

Ranboo

Karl

MrBeast

Wilbur

Techno

And i think there might’ve been more but i cant fucking REMEMBER. Also when did this giant meetup happen? No fucking clue LMFAO

Anyways. So what they’re doing in this video, it’s basically seeing who of that group can last the longest being tickled. I guess its not very fair that everyone would have 5 people tickling them, but still. In the dream they actually got through everybody, but it cut off & i woke up before Tommy and Techno’s turn. However i will end up saying how i think their turns would’ve gone!

So up first was..

*drumroll*

TUBBO! WOOOOOOO

so it’s Tubbo up first, and when Jimmy announces this (jimmy didn’t have a turn btw, i think he should’ve had a turn bc it isnt his channel that it was posted on) Tubbo has a look of dread, anticipation, and excitement. He tried real hard to make it look like more of dread, but it was really mostly excitement and anticipation.

Tubbo sits down in a comfortable enough chair that he won’t get hurt from squirming, and he is trying to prepare himself (kind of like how he did in the IRL ylyl back in october, like closing his eyes, breathing and doing that hand motion) as Tommy, Ranboo, Wilbur, Karl, And Techno crowded around him.

And then the second he opened his eyes he broke into giggles and his face flushed pink. Could you imagine that? Your sitting in a chair knowing you’re gonna end up being tickled, and you look up to see 5 people smirking at you and ready to strike.

Tommy and Ranboo had more ‘evil’ looks than anyone else in the room—they know Tubbo’s spots better than anybody, which made Tubbo even more giddy. Everyone teased him for being so giggly without them even doing anything, and when Tubbo least expected, everyone started tickling him. Techno at his knees, Wilbur on his neck/ears, Karl at his hips, Tommy at his sides, and Ranboo at his stomach.

My man SCREECHED and his anticipatory giggles turned into high-pitched laughter. He would be saying things like “NOHOHAHA!“ “STOHOHAHAP” “OHOH SHIHIHIT!” “TOHOHOMMY!” “RAHAHAN— FUHUHUCK KAHAHARL!”

Tubbo lasted about 5 minutes before making everyone stop. And next up, was Wilbur.

Now we all know from a certain clip from one of Ash’s vlogs that Wilbur can hide his reactions very easily, unless he doesn’t expect it and unless you get a certain spot. So this was going to be pretty embarrassing for Tubbo, as for he absolutely lost his shit the second everyone was just looking at him, and Wilbur is gonna show basically no reactions.

So Wilbur sits down exactly where Tubbo had sat, not preparing himself because he thinks he wont show any reactions. But the rest of the group is planning. It was more just Tommy warning everyone that Wilbur will probably be hiding his reactions and not to worry about it, because Tommy knows how to break him.

So they all surround Wilbur, and Wilbur just has a confident smirk on his face. So everyone, except Tommy, starts tickling him, and he barely even fucking giggles.

Tommy was behind the chair, waiting for the exact moment to strike, which was when Wilbur would say something about how he wont break.

“You guys won’t get me, i’m not tickliHIHISH- WHAHAT-? TOHOHOHOMMY!”

Tommy dug his fingers into Wilbur’s ribs, wiggling his fingers between each bone, pinching his top and bottom ribs. Tommy knew EXACTLY what to do to Wilbur, he’s his younger brother! Why wouldn’t he?

Techno was cheering and laughing at wilbur. He’d say stuff like “YEAH TOMMY GET HIM!”

Wilbur lasted two minutes longer than Tubbo.

Next was Karl. This should be less embarrassing for Tubbo! Karl is fucking insanely ticklish, and everyone knows it, even the mcyt / dsmp fandom.

When Jimmy announced it was Karl’s turn and gave Karl a knowing smile, Karl just fucking booked it for a hiding spot. But his hiding rendered useless as he was giggling like mad, so everyone found him pretty quickly.

Jimmy took him out from the hiding spot and set him in the chair. Karl prepared himself exactly how Tubbo did, but he just kept looking at the ground.

I think you know the drill at this point. Except Karl was a really big squirmer and kicker, so everyone had to fuckin dodge his legs and basically his entire body to avoid getting hurt.

As this was going on, Jimmy suddenly announced— “If your name starts with R, your going after Karl!” And he immediately looked at Ranboo. Soon after everyone was looking at Ranboo. Why did he agree to this?

But Tommy got nervous too— he might be going last.

Karl was being tickled for three minutes before he made everyone stop.

“Oh Ranboo!” Wilbur called with a playful smirk. (do you get that reference? a reference of my own fic was in my dream. Wow.)

Ranboo took Karl’s spot in the seat, his cheeks were a bright rosy red. He was thankful for the mask.

Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur all gave Ranboo that look that he and Tommy had given Tubbo when it was his turn. Again, WHY DID HE AGREE TO THIS?

Wilbur was crouched beside Ranboo, Tommy on his left, Tubbo on his right, Karl behind him, and Techno on the other side of Wilbur.

Once they started, Ranboo burst into loud cackles. He had three death spots being targeted at once— can you guess who was at each one?

Ranboo lasted a solid 8 minutes, mans has stamina.

Alright now for Tommy and Techno. These two, are just how i think their turns wouldve gone👍

Jimmy span a wheel on his phone(that’s how he’s been choosing who’s turn it is), and when the wheel stopped, he announced, “Techno!”

Techno took Ranboo’s spot on the chair, he was pretty calm about this. So they all took their places around Techno and without warning they started. But Techno had only let out light giggles.

Until Wilbur got to the sides of his back. Techno screamed and tried to lean forward to get away.

Safe to say he lasted 6 minutes.

Tommy skipped tickling Techno, as for he just wants more time to prepare himself. Everyone in the room knows how ticklish he is, they all know his spots. He has to beat Ranboo!

Tommy sat in the chair, he expected it so surely it won’t be as bad.

He infact was wrong, it took everything in him not to laugh. He definitely squirmed a lot more than he normally would, but anything to not laugh. Ranboo knew Tommy wanted to beat his time. And he was doing pretty well— 3 miniutes without laughing. So he did what any good evil person would do, and he drilled his thumbs into Tommy’s hips!

Which of course broke him, and he lasted seven minutes.

SEVEN. He spent another 10 minutes yelling at Ranboo

Woooo tickle dreams

#I may as well have just written a fanfic about it this literally took me all day to write💀💀#fizzthelee #fizzthelee dreams

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faroreswinds · 3 years ago

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Hey, anons, sorry. I’m not always on and I was asleep so had no idea I had gotten so many. ^^;

There are also a few asks in here as well that are not anons. I answered them here to hide spoilers.

Arval dialogue mentions from the moment of birth he has a function he had to serve. It seems he’s basically more AI than human, which is why he laments turning on the only thing that had ever made him feel true emotion in Shez to fulfill his duty to the psychopaths.

That’s what it is shaping up to be, yeah. Arval seems to be kinda like a base for his real self to awaken from. Arval = likes Shez, not!Arval = a horrible Slither man.

That Dimidue support.

*immigrant song screeches in the distance*

I KNOW RIGHT??!

Wait wait wait wait. No unification has 3(4) ways of bitter(sweet) endings, while unification had 4(3) (bitter)sweet endings. They fucking played us, this was a way to accept that unifying is the answer! Holy crap, I hope (god that game tainted that word) Korea review bombs this POS!

I know, it’s preeeeetty lame, although it seems like AG is the most non-lame of the bunch.

Still, I am so sick of “UNIFICATION IS BEST” nonsense. For real.

Play fucking Live A Live remake in July 22nd. Odio is a better space & time god over Worst Mom & Whipped mole weapon over any day. And you'll understand why he became a villain, while still defying him on the best ending. Holy shit this is gonna be a long month of discourse.

Ok. I’ll check it out then. You have me curious.

But yes. This is going to be a painful month.

I can see where they’re going with Arval now that I’ve seen dialogue that makes it more clear they were born and came to exist solely to fulfill their mission, but doing so never made Arval happy. Arval seems to be as close as we can get to an Agarthan who realized what’s wrong with the group, since he had to empathize and attach to a Non-Agarthan in Shez.

Yup, and I’m mostly ok with this development.

I would prefer if they were just straight evil and manipulative from the get go just because I think that would be fun, but this is fine too.

Dimitri and Claude now have enemies to lovers arc.

Maybe. Depends on what AG has to offer us.

Claude’s really not being a bro to anyone here, honestly.

the dimitri/claude convo????

Oh no what happens in the Dimitri and claude convo? :(

Oh no what’s wrong with the Dimitri and Claude conversation in SB/GW 😩?

What do dimitri and claude talk about?

Any more information on that Claude and Dimitri conversation?

I got like five different anons asking the same thing. But I posted it here so you may check it out if you like....

See that Dimitri/Yuri support really gets into why the whole "Dimitri's such a status quo guy" dumb take annoys me so bad, especially the ones that popped up after Dimitri admitted in the Three Hopes demo he wants to focus on stability over reforms. Because he's right! You can introduce all the societal reforms in the world into your community but if that community doesn't already have a stable foundation to build off of, NONE of those reforms will work as they're supposed to, if they even last!

He’s 100% right and I’m tired of pretending he’s not. His support with Yuri is really good, and just shows he wants the people to be a part of politics, not just the best and brightest.

Trying to introduce reforms without something to back it up is not the way to go. Shit takes time. People are stubborn. And most people will care about their stomach more than if they should be friends with their neighbors or who is ruling next.

Fix the basic things, then move to the more complex ones.

Is there any news on who Shez's adopted mom was? Thanks for all your hard work looking through the datamine

NP! And no, not yet. Sorry, anon.

My two favorites of 3H are Sothis and Claude and I always wish they had more. Well be careful what you wish for right because more just means hardcore OOCness and taking everyone you loved about them and spitting on it. Claude while I don't like it I understand he apparently really needs Byleth to grow which is kind of interesting but what is the deal with Sothis now what changed with her?

Sothis is interesting, because she seems to have awoken with more memories than before. Like, she had more time to cook or something. She’s more fearsome, but I’m not sure if I want to totally write her off just yet. That said, I’m not entirely impressed either.

She just seems angry. Which is fair. Her vessel is almost killed and she wakes up to save them, only to see something nasty (a Slither) and learning that her children are dead and shit. She’s big angy.

It’s an interesting direction. It could be done well... maybe.

Seems as a Nabatean fan I got scraps. I expected nothing and I'm still disappointed lol. A dumb question but, I know sothis and byleth kinda lose their shit at shez/arval. Is sothis's relationship to arval ever explained? Did arval have a part in her murder or the red canyon? Is that why she pushing byleth to kill arval? Or is it just never brought up again? Is byleth hair color change just a random event or is it spurred on? Sorry for this word barf.

Nah, don’t worry anon. It does seem like we will get some Nabatean stuff ie Seteth and Flayn with paralogues and stuff, but that’s probably AG only.

We still don’t know much about Arval/Sothis, other than Arval is not a god, and that he was there to fight Seiros. But she does recognize that Shez is some Slither descendant or something, and wants them gone (understandable)

Byleth’s hair is brought on by Sothis’ sudden awakening. Sothis suddenly awakens to protect Byleth and takes over their body instantly. Thus, color change.

Rhea blushing sprite is noticeably redder around her eyes than her other portraits, and AG cinematic is much redder in the same area.

Interesting. Wonder why?

The mind control is great for one reason: It forced Thales to confront the fact he was really high off his own farts and couldn’t see despite in 3 Houses all her blatant threats and undermining that Edelgard was NOT under his control. It’s funny seeing that now he has to use something to put her under control and by doing so proved he really was being an arrogant idiot.

I guess, but it still sucks. It robs Edelgard of agency, for one thing. Making her actions not her own undermines her character and those around her.

Two, why tf didn’t the Slithers just USE it before?! What dumbasses!

That’s how much of a threat Sothis considers Arval and how Byleth seeks to go BOAR in their own way. They’re the same after all!

Lol, I guess so!

Do you mind if I ask where you're getting all the text? I can't find it and would like to skim through it myself

I do mind! >:(

JK, anon, lol, here are the links.

>datamine https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1m4xHogOjhfdRYywACT-ZHuexdiskAkPSE45soei5zeQ/edit#gid=146160821 --- >FMV, Music and Texture Dump https://mega.nz/folder/rmw3GRQR#yBKMCzPCEIwPWasrRfuPMQ >Text Dump https://mega.nz/file/vU5ESBwC#u5zwtxjC8ktoJOH-2q4wDJkexsBgplHtHr_g_4_wA5w

Ah I get the misunderstanding. Claude helps instigate Sreng to raid the Kingdom. Doing so causes Gautier to sacrifice himself defending the border

NOT DADDY GAUTIER!!!!

Come on Claude. >:( Ass.

Do you know whether Claude seems vaguely sane in AG? Like does he still invade the kingdom? The Claude and Dimitri fighting back to back scene from the trailer has to be in this game somewhere right? Sorry if you’ve answered/posted about this somewhere already

From what I can tell, he seems to be working with Dimitri a bit. But if he instigated the rain in Sreng on AG, oof, that’s not a good look either. I hope that’s a GW thing or something.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Mila’s sweet dragon ass, Edelgard may sound mature and rational in the tone of her voice, but I think this just hammers home that she has the maturity of a 5-year-old.

She’s obviously mocking Rhea but like... That’s really not a good look.

Edelgard literally believes that Foldan hasn’t been at peace for years. This isn’t even remotely true but you know, CHURCH EVIL or something I guess.

Someone got an early copy and the assassination of sothis’ character OOF, she’s downright villainous and basically took over byleth’s body https://twitter.com/chocobobutt/status/1539431608977170433?s=21&t=piy3Vjh0wIE3OA42OBIMdQ

@2goldensnitches

To be fair, Sothis just woke up and her new body was about to be killed by an ancient enemy.

But yeah, Sothis is kinda being a bit bitchy here. I miss old Sothis. :(

is it sylvain who says "Neither one will hold up for long, but if I had to choose, I guess the first option would be better for the Kingdom as a whole."? it doesn't sound like dimitri to say "we need to bolster our military", even though it makes sense for them to do so to withstand invasions and stuff

@garlandgerard

I’m honestly not sure. Maybe? I’ve been having a hard time figuring out who says what at times. But I think I agree with you. Dimitri saying “bolster the military” doesn’t really sound like him.

#Three hopes #anon asks #asks

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dragonindigo245 · 5 years ago

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Project [REDACTED]

Heyo!!! This is a WIP story I'm doing with the amazing @pawton-meowity! Hope you enjoy! The odd numbered chapters will be posted on their Tumblr while the even ones will be on mine. Feel free to request to be added to the tag list for updates! Thanks! 💙🖤💙

Tw: Remus being Remus, blood

————

Chapter 6: P.O.V of Remus

“Oh! Remus! Heya kiddo!”

I turned my attention away from my fidget cube and turned my head towards the voice. Patton was next to the bench I was sprawled across with a smile on his face.

“Hey Daddy-o! I assumed you would be in your classes learning about all the ways you can kill someone!” I cheerfully replied. He made a noise of discomfort and sat at the end of the bench I didn’t take up.

“Well I was in class learning about how to HELP people but it let out early. I have around ten to fifteen minutes to hang out.”

“You know you’ll have to teach me about weak points and stuff. It is rather interesting. You could probably kill someone in a hundred different ways!!!”

Thunk.

“The fuck?!?” I exclaimed. Patton was probably thinking the same thing without the colorful language.

I didn’t have to wonder for long until a fucking bird flopped down on my head. The odds of that had to be ridiculously low.

Patton screamed and jumped up, freaking out about the bird. Honestly what was the big deal even? It’s a bird?? Actually… we could make it a rotisserie bird...

“OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS WHAT THE FUDGE STRIPE?!?” Patton finally managed to say. Good to know he can say actual words again.

“I know! We’re so lucky to have a bird land on me!” I said while grabbing the bird from the tip of its wing. It screeched, unfortunately not dead yet, and wiggled around.

“REMUS! DON’T JUST HOLD IT LIKE THAT!” Patton scolded. He took the bird from my clutches and held it like a puppy.

“Aww but Patton! I want it!”

“Then you should learn to take care of a bird before you get one!”

“What? I already know how to prepare it. It needs to be dead fi-”

“YOU WANT TO EAT THE BABY?!?”

“Yes?”

Patton stared at me in shock. Okay… that’s fair. Patton dismissed it with a sigh and turned his attention to the bird. It was a little brown feathered bird that left its feathers all over the place in distress. Shame… could have made a good meal.

“Well if you’re not going to eat it then what’s the point?” I rebutted.

He sighed again and held the bird close to his chest. “Help it, obviously!” Patton said with a small smile.

He reached for his right sleeve but his fingers didn’t quite make it before I sprang forward.

“Don’t risk it on a bird you idiot!” I said in a low and threatening voice. He didn’t seem to have a visual reaction to my threat besides looking back at the bird.

“But Remus! It’s a hurt little robin! I know I don’t have a grip on my po-”

“Don’t talk about it either you fucking moron! What did we say about their eyes being everywhere?” I growled.

I must have shifted slightly because my position from when I sprang forward because I fell off the bench with a yelp of surprise. I hit the concrete mostly unharmed but on the way down I bit my tongue hard. Why does this only happen to me?

“Excuse me gentlemen.” Welp that cut me out of the picture. Whoever that is isn’t talking to me.

“Oh! Hello… sir!” Patton nervously answered. Okay maybe they were talking to us.

I looked up before flinging myself backwards. A burn bro. They eyed me before turning to Patton.

“I didn’t mean to intrude but you said something about risking something on a bird? What did you mean by that?” They asked casually like they weren’t here to kidnap Patton.

“He meant wasting his time asshole. Stop sneaking around like a Scooby Doo villain.” I spat.

“Hey R... shut the fuck up. You are of no use with your mush for brains.” They growled back.

“Whoa hey can we just calm down? Surely we can just have a calm, quiet conversation?” Patton attempted.

The guy cleared his throat and nodded. “Ah yes. My apologies. That was highly unprofessional of me. May I ask what the risk was in helping the bird?”

Patton smiled an extremely fake smile and shrugged. “Oh well there’s absolutely no risk whatsoever. It’s just a bird that we are going to help very normally.” What in the god damn fuck Patton. You have single handedly screwed us.

“Mhm… say may I ask your first and last name?” They asked.

Fuck. Damn. Shit. Ass.

“Uhhh welllllll… my name is…. Burnnnnnnnnnnie Robinnnnnnson. Burnie Robinson.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“ABSOLUTELY! A hundred and one percent!!! Burnie Moral Robinson at your service!”

What. The. Fuck.

“Okay… Burnie. Where is your dorms?”

“I’M NOT ALLOWED TO ANSWER THAT Haha! You see here it’s kinda private information and I SURE AS HEAVEN DON’T KNOW YOU!!! Stranger danger and all that!!”

“Okay that’s fair… have a good afternoon Burnie.”

Holy shit that worked. OH MY SATAN THAT WORKED!!!!

The burn bro walked away suspiciously BUT STILL WALKED AWAY!!

“Oh my goodness that worked…” Patton said baffled. “I got away with that? I actually got away with that.”

“Yeah you did for now! You have landed us in hot water! They are going to keep asking you questions until they get who they’re looking for! All for a BIRD!”

“... but it’s a baby…”

I groaned and put a hand up to my mouth, remembering the blood still floating around in there.

“It’s not a baby. Babies are little gross mini humans. That is a feathered, walking lump of meat. How are you even attached to it?”

“Because it’s CUTE!”

I spat out a bit of blood from my mouth so I could reply but Patton screamed once more.

“OH MY GOODNESS YOU'RE BLEEDING?!? ARE YOU OKAY?!?” He screamed out.

“Wait someone’s bleeding?” Logan yelled from behind me. He was far away from us still but within hearing distance.

I sighed and grabbed my fidget cube that was now on the floor. “I’m fine. I cannot understand how you two are so… considerate. HEY! You two should pork!!!” I exclaimed.

Logan and Patton exchanged looks of confusion.

“What does protein have to do with a person’s well being? Logan said while joining his side.

“Protein is an important factor in a diet, you know that Logan.” Patton chimed in, “But cows are too cute to eat!”

“Yes Patton, we all know you’re vegetarian, but pork is a pig based product, not a cow based product…” Logan sighed.

“PIGS ARE CUTE TOO!” Patton exclaimed. I shook my head as the two glasses gays were totally missing the context of my joke.

“You two are so innocent… I meant you should TOTALLY FUCK.” When I clarified my original statement’s meaning, the two stared at me for a moment. Logan’s face showed slight shock but mostly confusion, while Patton went red as the blood I just spat onto the ground. Patton couldn’t make eye contact with either of us but after a moment, Logan was able to regain his composure and fix his glasses.

“Remus… I don’t believe that is how an optimal courtship should be conducted. Not that I have much experience in that department… but I assume you don’t either if that is how you approach people.”

“Oh, so you’re a virgin,” I cackled, then looked back at Patton and his bird, “then I assume you are too?”

Patton said nothing, just gently pet the bird.

“Patton, just ignore him.” Logan sighed, rolling his eyes at me.

“Okay… that sounds like… like a good plan. I’ll see you later Logy…” Patton squeaked and hurried off, the bird still clutched in his hands.

Now all that remained was the fucking nerd. Nah he’s boring. I’m getting outta here.

“Welp goodbye glasses gay! Enjoy your night with Patton!” I winked with the last word and ran off, leaving a Windows error in Logan’s place.

I skipped off to go back inside the college however the halls were flooded. Trying to find the others would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Good thing I found a needle in a haystack before.

I pulled open the door and inserted myself into the crowds of people. Most of the students were polite and didn’t do what I did… push my way around people. I didn’t slide by anyone but straight up, or as Logan and Patton should do, gay up, decided to ram into them. Most people flung themselves out of my path as best as they could at least.

I spotted the top of Virgil’s purple hair and ducked around to reach him. He was close to the bathrooms so that helps our situation.

I reached him and before Virgil had a say in the matter I pulled him into the bathrooms. Surprisingly, nobody was in here besides us two.

“What the fuck Remus?” Virgil asked colorfully.

“Shush! This is important! They’re here!”

“Jesus Christ Remus, you don’t mean-”

“Yup. Burn bro. Patton and I just had a run in. By the way, don’t ever ask Patton to lie about anything.”

“Okay cool. Can we get back to the part where THEY are HERE on SCHOOL GROUNDS?!? What even happened? Wait are you bleeding?”

“Why is everyone obsessing over that? I’m fine! Just hit the pavement.”

“So they didn’t hit you… right? I swear to god they better not have.”

“No! All they did was almost catch Patton-”

“THEY FUCKING WHAT?!? ALREADY?!?”

“Yup. That’s a downside. They are skeptical at least. Hey at least Patton’s in danger and not already captured!”

“You say that like it’s a good thing! Jesus fucking Christ I need to get to Patton!”

Before I could say anything else Virgil ran out of the bathrooms.

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #remus sanders #ts remus #ts duke #ts logic #logan sanders #ts logan #ts virgil #ts anxiety #virgil sanders #ts logicality #logicality #ts morality #ts project [redacted]#project [redacted]#ts patton #patton sanders #my fic

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pixie-unger · 7 years ago

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Neighbours - The Stalker

SFW - so far. Still, 18 + Triggers - including referenced child abuse. Swearing. Moms. Read the whole thing here. Since I can’t post Fan Fiction to Patreon, you get this first.

Gus was parked outside of Mac’s school. He had dropped her off in his truck this morning. He didn’t even make it half a block before work called with a crisis. He pulled over and was texting on his phone when the Audi pulled up. Gus looked up and snorted. The elves inside probably thought they were slumming in that car.

Shit. Elves. There wasn’t any reason for Elves to be at school.

He texted Dorghu, then he grabbed his tire iron, got out of his truck and wandered over. “Can I help you?”

One of the elves raised his hands, “I’m not looking for trouble. I’m just here to get my niece.”

“Really.” Gus frowned, “There aren’t that many elves in the school. Does your niece have a name?”

“Mackenzie Underhill.”

“Really.” Gus’s voice was flat. “I supposed you are going to tell me that her mother asked you to get her.”

“That’s right. Her mother is busy working at the clinic and couldn’t come.” The elf was so oily, Gus could have used him to regrease the bearings in his truck.

“Uh huh. You might want to get back into that car now.”

“Are you threatening me? I can call the police, you know.”

“Yeah. You do that. And then you can explain why you are here to take my stepdaughter.”

They all turned to gape at him at that. “What?”

“Yeah. I guess Fred forgot to invite you to the wedding, huh? Or are you going to say you are on her father’s side of the family. Which would be interesting, given that I have seen her birth certificate. And the news reports. And that fun scar Fred is still hobbling around with.”

The elves started backing towards the car. Gus hadn’t even unleashed his resting murder face. That’s when Dorghu and some of the boys pulled up, boxing in the Audi. Dorghu and the boys rolled out of their trucks and strutted over, not even bothering to hide the fact that they were scenting the elves.

The lead elf held up his hands, “We aren’t looking for trouble.” Nonetheless, the others were subtly going for their weapons.

That was went a little blue POS toyota screeched up and Fred flung herself out of the passenger door. “Whoa! Easy there! We don’t want any-” whatever else he was going to say was cut off by Fred punching him hard in the face. He went down screaming with a faint hint of scorched flesh. She didn’t actually stop, but when the second elf caught her around the waist, he went white and dropped her a moment later. He fell to an uppercut to the chin a moment latter.

Objectively, she wasn’t actually that good. It was just armed with the iron she didn’t have to be. The third elf got her pinned against the car. Gus dived over the roof on the and tackled him to the ground. “That’s my wife and you will not touch her.”

“Aw hell!” Dorghu frowned. “I never thought I would have to rescue an elf, but we need one of them alive to go back where they came from and explain the change in circumstances.”

“Or we kill them all and Grandad will get the message.” Fred said, sucking on at her split lip.

The elves had gone silent now. Someone in the back said, “Na. That will just make too much work paperwork for Nick.”

Fred froze for a moment, then was suddenly texting furiously. “No. This isn’t Nick’s problem. Attempted kidnapping is a federal offence.” She used her phone to take pictures of each of the elves. And the car. And it’s plates. Then announced. “I don’t think anyone wants the Task Force involved in this. We aren’t the only people you’ve done this too. And we aren’t the low hanging fruit. Understand?”

The elves nodded.

Fred looked at Dorghu. “I’m done. I’m getting my kid and leaving. Whatever you want to do, you do.” The little toyota was long gone. Fred was suddenly walking into the school. Gus handed his tire iron to Dorghu then followed after her.

Once they were through the door Gus whispered, “What would have happened if they got inside?”

“I don’t know. I’m pretty sure they want Mac alive.”

“Who was that driving?”

“Sherri. She’s my surgical nurse.” Fred just sounded tired. She stopped into the office and explained that her ex-husband’s family was causing problems and that she was just going to take Mac home for the day.

She got a form to take to the classroom and as they walked Gus was forced to ask, “Sherri Ward? As in Darryl Ward’s wife?”

“Yeah? He was at the wedding.”

“Holy shit Doc! That would have gotten some press coverage, if she got arrested as part of this.”

Fred shook her head.”Gus, none of this will get press coverage ever. They weren’t going to call the cops. I’m not going to get the feds involved. I just hope they don’t come back.”

Something had been bothering him, “How’d you know what was happening?”

Fred snorted. “I told Mrs McInnon that my ex-husband was an abduction risk. She told her bridge club. They have been watching Mac for me for months.” She thought about that for a while, “I’m pretty sure your mom is in on it somehow.”

Gus thought about that for a long moment, as Fred talked to the kindergarten teacher and collected Mac. As they left, he noticed the Audi was gone, but all the Fogtooth members were not. He nodded to Dorghu as he helped Mac into the truck then Gus just deadlifted the Doc into the front seat. Dorghu handed him the tire iron. It was a little bloody. Gus put it in the back of his truck.

“Imma gonna have to get my truck washed, “ he muttered to himself as he climbed in an buckled up.

Mac’s eyes lit up. “We are going to the car wash?!”

Gus looked at her happy smile in the rear view mirror and tried to remember what it had been like to be five. “Sure thing, half pint, and we’ll get some chips.”

Mac squealed and shouted, “Yay!”

“Just a little quieter, sweetie.” Fred added.

And so they did. Everyone got a snack sized bag of chips. Gus thought about getting Mac a pop, but Fred preemptively asked Mac if her water bottle was still in her backpack. They drove through and Mac laughed at all the different colours of soap. They were almost done when Fred got a call from the hospital, asking where the hell she was.

As she was explaining there had been an emergency at her daughter’s school, Gus was already driving her back to work. He pulled into the ambulance bay and said, “You go. I got this. Mac and I will go see a movie and pick you up after work.”

Fred sat in his truck and thought about that for a long moment. Long enough for Mac to say, “Please, Mummum?”

“What if they come back?”

“They won’t.” Gus assured her. “I will keep her safe. We will pick you up at the end of your shift.”

Mac climbed out of her car seat at over to the front seat. “Have a good day Mummum! Gus will let me eat chocolate and watch big kid movies.”

Fred groaned and kissed her back. “Behave! I’ll see you in six hours. Don’t take off your bracelet. No eating cocopuffs for lunch.”

“Why do we even have those?” Gus asked.

Mac started giggling. Fred shook her head, “We don’t talk about that. Okay,” she kissed Mac again, “Work. See you. Stay safe,” one more kiss for Mac, then one for Gus, then an awkward moment. “Sorry. That just happened. I, um, I gotta go.” She bounced out of the truck and headed in through the staff door.

Gus turned to watch her leave. Then he made eye contact with Mac who was giggling in the back seat. “Put your seatbelt back on,” he grumbled.

----

Fred hurried into her office and grabbed her white coat. As she turned to head out the door she saw her grandfather standing in the doorway. She froze like a deer in the headlights.

He smirked, “You married an orc. That was smart. I didn’t know you had it in you, poppet.”

“Get out.”

“So… what’s your long game? You can’t keep her safe forever. I just have to out wait you.”

“Fine. But do that somewhere else.”

He stood up and walked toward her. Fred backed up until she crashed into her desk. Her arms were shaking. He grinned, and raised his hand to her face.

Fred moved fast and caught it, fingers wrapping tightly around his wrist. Fingers that were also holding an iron bracelet.

The elf screamed.

Fred ignored this, “I don’t have to keep her safe forever. Give me a couple more years and she will keep herself safe. She will not be another little girl sitting on your lap, with her hand in your pants.” At that her other hand dipped into his pants and she dropped her other iron bracelet into his briefs. Then she pushed him to the ground and walked over him and out of her office as her grandfather burned his fingers trying to save his dick.

“I only have to keep her safe long enough, old man. Go home. Give up on this one.”

“This isn’t over, bitch.”

“Yes it is.”

#Orcs and Elves and Humans Oh My!#orc boyfriend #bright fanfiction #I still can't tag

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weareinterwet-blog · 7 years ago

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Nick Crompton x Hot Dog Man smut

⚠️THIS STORY IS 100% A JOKE⚠️

TRIGGER WARNING: If you are retarded enough to find Jake Paul or any member of Team 10 entertaining and you ACTUALLY enjoy their content, I suggest you click off right the fuck now, we don't need any triggered 12 year olds, we are triggered enough ourselves.

This story contains mature content, and mentions of rape (for like one sentence). Please do not read this if you are under the age of 11 or have not yet learned about The Birds & The Bees. We also make numerous jokes about Nick Crompton's weight.

Now with that out of the way,

Let's get on with this shit show.

HDM= Hot Dog Man

Omniscient POV

The Team 10™ house was bustling with all the members vlogging and such. Nick Crompton sat in the office, reading an e-mail from a friend who wanted to visit. After he finished reading it, Nick got off his fat ass and waddled into the living room. There he found Jake Paul spread eagle on the couch, taking a break from his latest prank video (taxing work, honestly). Nick knew he had to ask him if the Snapchat king himself, the Hot Dog Man, could come visit. It was the Team 10™ house rules and if he broke any of them Jake would kick his fat ass out.

"He-Hey lad. Can I invite over, um, a-a friend?" Nick asked in his thicc British accent.

"What kind of 'friend', fat King George?" Jake chuckled.

Oh how Nick hated when Jake's greasy Ohio ass called him that. Fucking cunt.

"Well mate, he's a sensation on Snapchat. We could get a lot of views and advertisements if we collab with him while he visits."

Jake thought about it for a moment. "Well fine Britty Titty. He must collab with us or else you will be kicked out of Team 10™". God he's a fucking dickhead

Nick still put on a fake ass smile. "Thank you chap! This collab will be litty, trust me!".

Nick was filled with excitement. He couldn't wait for his first Grindr hookup, but he couldn't let Jake know. He already had a threesome with the Martinez Twins, and oh boy those pollas de españa were as thicc as Cristiano Ronaldo's thighs, and if Jake wasn't fucking yet another bitch in the other room at the time, all three of them would have been deported.

Nick had spent the last hour preparing his room for HDM's visit. He made sure to have xxx(tentacion)L condoms and mustard flavored lube in his drawer next to his bed. He already prepped his richard. The juicy Snapchat king would be arriving at 8 pm and him and Team 10™ would be collabing the next day; if Nick's ass could withstand it, that is.

Nick hoped the neighbors wouldn't call the cops on them during this collab, he wanted to make a good impression on HDM.

(Time skip brought to you by the Martinez Twins thicc pollas.)

Jake called Nick from the kitchen, saying that the door rung and it was for him. Oh god save me Queen Elizabeth. Nick eagerly jumped out of bed (after many attempts), quickly wiping the jizz on his hands against Jake's door handle when he walked by his room. Take that you Ohio. Fucking. CUNT.

Nick stomped down the stairs and made his way to the front door, and saw a young girl who was around 15 and probably didn't consent to what Jake Paul was going to do to her probably tight yet virgin pussy.

Probably.

But then he saw him.

He saw that thicc juicy meat encased in that tight ass bun.

The Hot Dog Man.

This part includes mature content. Proceed with caution

HDM calmly strode into the Team 10™ house and greeted the overweight Brit, casually brushing his hand against Nick's outer thigh when he walked by. He then walked over to Jake, who was already getting up on his new bitch.

"FUCKK OH BABY YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ALISSA. GIVE ME HEAD NOW UNDERAGE OHIO SEX SLAVE! THAT PUSSY SOOOOO TIGHT!"

Nick was embarrassed by Jake's extreme act of PDA (Me at school everyday tbh.) and turned over to HDM. "Don't worry, he always does this. His dick is really small (like the authors of this shit's will to live), and he cums in like 6 seconds."

HDM chuckled, "Just like his vines."

After the two settled down from their fit of laughter, HDM started to become curious and asked, "Wait a minute, how do you know that? How do you know his dick is small and he cums in 6 seconds?" he paused, grasping Nick's greasy and supersized fish n chips. Nick was sHooK, and his fish went flying. Holy Cow! The Queen is raising my mEmBEr.

Nick gave HDM a Team 10™ house tour, and even showed him (yO iT'S) Tessa Brooks hardcore masturbating to RiceGum and Alissa Violet's "It's Every Night, Sis" (Let's be real, that was a bop). Ah, how he loved his second yet nightmare of a home.

('Notha time skip brought to you by those crispy fish 'n' chips that Nick shoves down his gullet, and occasionally asshole)

Nick could notice HDM getting impatient. His relish flaps were so dry and crispy. Oh no I have to get them moist and wet.

"I have the 'equipment' set for our 'collab'." Nick casually told him. HDM gave him a smirk that made Nick's piener-wiener even more hard than it already was. With this, Nick dragged HDM to his room.

"Don't worry Niqqi, i brought some extra equipment" HDM said, WHIPping out several ropes, multiple types of gags and WHIPs, and bondage harnesses.

"These may be a bit small for you big boy". He said, taking out the harness.

HDM then reached over to Nick's bedside drawer to look for some lube. He didn't want to hurt him because his ass was probably really tight with all that fat surrounding it.

But once HDM opened the drawer, he was met with a distasteful surprise.

HDM had gone from 💯 to OVER NEIN THOUSAAAAND

(I'm so sorry.)

"FUCKING MUSTARD? DADDY IS GOING TO FUCK YOU WITHOUT LUBE YOU FAT BRITISH FUCK!"

HDM didn't even care about the other Team 10™ members hearing him. He was fucking pissed at Nick.

Nick's face filled with dread. I don't want my pooper to die! But it was far too late.

"Get on that pool table you fucking Wale" HDM said, getting out a ball gag and a bondage harness.

Nick obeyed his new master. I must please his mEmBEr

"Now there Niqqi, daddy will only shove his Ball Park™ mEmBEr into your filthy crumpet asshole if you do as I say and don't cum too early."

Nick obeyed, stripping all his clothes, letting his fat greasy rolls free. He climbed up on the pool table, stomach and dick down, and made a slight crack on the side of the table.

"Now there Niqqi boy, do you have a cock ring lying around?"

Nick shOOk his head. "Ple-please don't WHIP me daddy. Th-there is a-a stale o-o-onion ring (OGRES ARE LIKE ONIONS, THEY HAVE LAYERS) that's t-triple fried i-in fish 'n' chip batter. It will keep that hard mEmBEr of yours nice and erect."

"Now you fat fuck, you aren't getting my mEmBEr this easy. One WHIP for you for being a naughty boy."

Nick tried to scream for his life, but HDM was one step ahead of him. He had already secured the ball gag in his big gullet. HDM also secured the bondage harness across the brits flaps and tied a thicc piece of rope that attached the harness to the pool table.

"Resist you fat fucking whore" HDM firmly said, getting his finest leather whip and whipping the brit's asscheeks. They jiggled. Nick's screech was muted by the gag.

Nick's screams were slowly becoming moans, and Nick awaited every single WHIPcrack against his bum. Obviously HDM could see him enjoying this, but it is all about his own pleasure first. After another ten minutes, HDM removed the gag from Nick's mouth and untied the rope.

"Flip on your greasy back you fucking teabag. It's daddy's turn to feel the pleasure."

Nick did as told, and allowed his fat flaps to bounce back on the table. HDM tied the rope back on , exposing Nick's hard mEmBEr. HDM climbed on top of Nick's literal pile of fat , almost like an animal. He turned around in an almost 69 position and had his own beefy and ketchupy cock dangling in front of Nick's literal black hole of a mouth.

"You succ it until I tell you to not. If you make daddy cum too early, daddy won't fuck you. If you reject daddy's mEmBEr, daddy won't fuck you. If you gag in response to daddy's mEmBEr, daddy won't fuck you."

Nick understood, and HDM slowly lowered his mEmBEr into his mouth, almost like a fisherman lowering his fishing pole into a murky ass lake full of fish with mercury poisoning. Nick savored HDM's mEmBEr, licking all around and taking more into his gullet. He even succed so far down, he could taste the stale onion ring at the base mixed with the salty pre-cum and loose pubic hair. Oh I LOVE onion rings.

But HDM wasn't satisfied. Yes, his member was being served to Nick like a bucket of Ohio Fried Chicken™, but he felt Nick wasn't trying hard enough for him. HDM slowly reached his hand to Nick's own stiff mEmBEr, and gave them a few violent and robust tugs. Nick gave a soft moan, and started to lick and succ faster and faster. He pulled his head up to get more and more of HDM's juicy as fuck mEmBEr, which was glazed like an artery-clogging doughnut in pre-cum, and HDM let go of his. He pushed more and more of his meat into Nick's fat fucking gullet, which Nick gladly sluurped up. I love pre-cum and onion rings.

HDM reached over to his bag, which was hung up against the side of the pool table, and grabbed a spiked collar and a huge penis gag, tying the mEmBEr gag to the spiked collar.

"If you resist, you will choke little Niqqi. Now before you take this mEmBEr in, what do you say little fat as fuck bitch?"

Nick hesitated.

"Mah-My coc-collar is po-poppin".

HDM violently strapped the Cock gag into Nick's mouth, and grabbed the mustard lube. He threw it on the floor in disgust. He then reached his hand up to stimulate his little meatball nipples until a stream of fresh ketchup flowed down his hard meaty body. He collected a glop onto his hand and rubbed his cartoon fingers, making them gooey and moist. He shoved his fingers, one by one, into Nick's tight asshole. Nick's flaps, yet strapped down to the table, gave a violent bounce after every thrust. Just like playtime at home.

Nick was very shocked about how long HDM could last. He had been savoring his mEmBEr like a lollipop for over 10 minutes, and HDM only heavily moaned a few times.

"Alright Niqqi, succ me until I almost cum. If daddy cums, daddy won't fuck you, remember? If Niqqi does a good job, daddy may fuck you."

Nick wanted that fucc. He began to consume the mEmBEr as if it were an extra large slurpee from that American fat convenience store 7-11. HDM started to moaaaan.

"SUCC ME HARDER YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKING FUCK."

The obese Brit followed HDM's command and swallowed more of his foot-long™ of a mEmBEr down his gullet. Once HDM's hit the back of Nick's throat, he gagged. This made HDM more angry than he already was at the fact that Nick's fat ass only had mustard lube.

"DID I TELL YOU TO FUCKING GAG, YOU WHORE?"

HDM started to vigorously thrust into Nick's mouth, and every time Nick screamed in protest, HDM only went harder

I'm not going to be able to fucking speak tomorrow. Nick thought. This was all too much for him and he was having trouble breathing. Just as he let out another scream that was muffled by HDM's juicy mEmBEr, HDM shoved his mEmBEr all the way into Nick's mouth. He let out an extremely loud moan and busted a fat nUT into the back of Nick's throat. "Swallow all of it." HDM ordered. "Shouldn't be too hard; all you do is eat". Nick followed his command and swallowed all of HDM's thicc and creamy load, and loved the salty yet sweet taste it brought.

"mMM. Tastes so good, Daddy."

As Nick thought the two of them were done and tried to get up, he was met with a forceful push that sent him right back on his greasy back. "Oh we ain't fucking done yet. I still have to fuck your ass; I didn't prepare you for nothing." HDM said with a slight smirk on his face.

Nick gulped. "Y-yes daddy. Of c-c-course."

The sight alone of Nick Crompton's round face red and covered in his own spit made HDM become hard yet again. He even saw a bit of his fresh jizz along Nick's fat fucking lips. HDM got his hands which were pink from the cum and ketchup mixture, and flipped Nick's fat body over, and analyzed his asshole. He adjusted the onion ring on his hard and bulbous mEmBEr to make it even harder.

(Oh boy here it comes.)

Without hesitation, HDM violently thrusted his mEmBEr into Nick's entrance with a profusely loud moan. This caused the Brit to let out a cry of pain and pleasure. "Ooh you're so fucking tight, it almost didn't fit". Nick moaned in response as HDM kept viciously thrusting in and out of Nick's black hole.

For five minutes, Nick's ass had been on fire. He thought it would've been nice if HDM could've at least given him a warning before he went full throttle on him. But after those five minutes, oh boy was Nick having the time of his life. Every single move HDM made inside him made Nick scream in pleasure; which he could now do freely without the gag in his mouth.

After another five minutes, Nick felt this shock go through him that he had never felt before. This caused him to let out probably the loudest sound he had ever made in his life. "OOOOOH FUCK DADDY KEEP FUCKING ME LIKE THAT!!".

HDM then angrily slapped Nick's fat ass and shouted "DID I TELL YOU TO FUCKING SPEAK?"

HDM then abruptly pulled out of Nick, which caused him to whine in protest. "I'm sorry daddy, it just felt so good". HDM sighed "Alright, but if you pull that shit I'm leaving this fucking place".

He then continued what he had started, and Nick could feel the wrinkles of HDM's mEmBEr brushing up against his anal walls. It took a few minutes for HDM to reach that special spot again. Once he did, Nick started screaming again. He had never felt this kind of pleasure before, not even when he had the threesome with the Martinez Twins.

(Time skip brought to you by HDM's fat nUT)

After around another 10 minutes of HDM pleasuring Nick Crompton with his juicy foot-long™ mEmBEr, HDM was getting close to expiring, and Nick could sense it.

"The Big thicc daddy is getting close to releasing the 2nd cum, isn't he."

HDM didn't have the energy to yell at Nick again, instead he was overcome by a wave of ecstasy.

"SAY MY NAME, NICK. SAY MY BLOODY FUCKING NAME"

"DA-DADDY, DADDDY DA-DADDY". With one final thrust, HDM exploded deep inside of Nick's asshole, Nick cumming all over his stomach and the floor. Oops, I'll have to clean that up later. He pulled out and they both expired.

"Oh you are such a nasty fucking fat ass bitch"

"I know daddy"

The two lovers were fast asleep on each other, HDM's ketchup mixing with Nick's stomach grease. All of the sudden, Jake Paul and his bitch burst in, followed by all the members of Team 10™

"I FUCKING KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW YOU WEREN'T INTO PEOPLE. YOU ONLY LOVE FOOD YOU FUCKING FAT ASS LITTLE BRITISH CRUMPET CUNT", Jake screamed.

"¿Qué pasa con nuestras pollas españolas?" Emilio asked.

"¿No fuimos suficientes para ti, gordo culo?" Ivan sneered

"WHY DIDN'T YOU RECORD IT FOR ME TO MASTURBATE TO?", Tessa, who was the angriest of all, exclaimed.

"I SWEAR TO GOD WHY DID I MARRY YOU, YOU CRAZY BITCH!" Chance shouted.

All of the sudden, Nick wOkE up sporadically and sat up, waking HDM in the process. "What the actual fuck are you doing?" HDM asked, quite annoyed that he was woken up from his deep sleep. "Oh sorry, chap. I had a really bad dream that all the Team 10™ memebers walked in on us". "Oh well, we might as get up, it's almost 9:00am".

Nick reached over to his bedside table and looked at his phone. Oh shit he's right. We have to be down by 10 or I'll be kicked out of Team 10™.

Nick took a breath before he would start his long journey of getting out of bed. Once he tried to get up, he felt the most excruciating pain he had ever felt before in his nether regions. HDM saw his grimace and chortled. "Did daddy do you too hard last night?". "YEA-oWw!" Nick abruptly stopped himself from what he was about to say. "Oww, my fucking throat hurts Jesus Christ". "Don't speak then." HDM said. Nick nodded in agreement.

After twice as many attempts it takes to get out of bed on a normal day, Nick waddled over to get some fresh clothes from his wardrobe. Once he got his way-too-tight clothing on, Nick stomped his way down the stairs to the living room yet again; not even worrying about what HDM was doing.

"YoOOOO Nick, I got a surprise for you!" Chance shouted at Nick with a eager smile on his face. Oh for fucks sake.

"Wöt is it mate? A bitch that's more tolerable than Tessa?" He banted back.

"hAha, no. It's much better than that."

"Then wöt is it mate, I have to go see the Ohio cu- I mean Jake so we can start our collab with Hot Dog Man." "Okay, I know it's not food, but it's-!"

All of the sudden Chance pulled out a taser and put it right near Nick Crompton's face and turned it on. Nick shouted with utmost fear. "AH WHAT THE FUCK YOU OHIO CRACKER?!!"

Chance just screeched in response while the other Team 10™ members jumped into the living room; some with cameras, some with more tasers which frightened Nick even more.

"LMAO YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FAT FUCKING FACE!!" Anthony yelled putting the camera in Nick's face.

"Good job, Hubby. You got him real good." Tessa said to Chance with her annoying southern accent.

"Alright, Alright. Let's settle down now, we have to start filming our collab with Hot Dog Man." Jake addressed to the rambunctious 20-year-olds. For once he's actually said something I agree with.

(Time skip brought to you by Jake Paul's quality content)

After Chance and Emilio set up the equipment for the video, the rest of the Team 10™ members and HDM sat down outside to start filming the video. They would be filming a "Truth or Dare" and it would be going on Jake's channel, of course. Nick hoped the Team 10™ wouldn't get too rowdy, as the neighbors would call the cops on them again.

"This should be fun, shouldn't it?" HDM asked Nick, slapping a hand on his lower back; knowing it would cause Nick a great pain. He winced. "Y-yeah."

When Tessa was about to pull out her second dare, all the Team 10™ members all turned their heads to the loud knock that could be heard from the fence followed by a loud voice bellowing,

"HEY, YOU FUCKERS. DO YOU MIND SHUTTING THE FUCK UP FOR ONE GODDAMN DAY. SOME OF US HAVE NORMAL LIVES AND YOU GUYS ARE PISSING US THE FUCK OFF WITH YOUR CHILDISH SCREECHES!"

"Oh fuck off!" Nick replied back, and they all laughed and continued on with the video. HDM smiled at him.

The fucking end

I am sincerely sorry if you read this thing all the way through. Welp, that's all folks.

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katalyna-rose · 8 years ago

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2016 Writing Review

Took forever to get to this... Thanks, @turbootaku!

Total number of completed stories

HAHAHAHAHA! If you’re including one-shots, the answer is 45. If you’re counting chaptered stories only, the answer is none, they’re all in the works.

Total word count

145,224 (I’m proud of me!)

Fandoms written in

Dragon Age, sort of slightly Skyrim. Maybe.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?

Eh, I don’t really set goals for myself. It tends to backfire. So this is cool, this is whatever. I’m fine.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

Vhenan

Did you take any writing risks this year?

Well, everything is kind of a risk. And this year was my very first time writing fanfic instead of original works. That felt like a huge damn risk, but I love it!

Also, writing A Mating of Souls was a risk because it is a literal trash train of tropes and cliches, but people seem to like it.

Do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year?

Nah. Just keep writing! Try to continue the trash train. Finish Vhenan. Did I tell you I’ve decided to split it into a sequel? Because I did. It’s gonna be gooooood.

Best story of the year?

According to me? To my AO3 stats? What? Whose biased opinion am I using?

According to me, Vhenan is the best. I have put SO MUCH WORK into it. I have a planning notebook (that I lost, replaced, then found) filled with all my ramblings and ideas and outline.

According to my stats? Let me check... Loading.... Still, Vhenan! Good.. The trash train doesn’t deserve to rival my masterpiece... Though it does have 3 more subscriptions than Vhenan, it trails pretty far behind in everything else.

Most popular story of the year?

Vhenan. It’s my baby.

Hits: 1814 Kudos: 88 Bookmarks: 13 Comments: 77

Guys... Comment more... Please!

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

Oh damn... Well, honestly I’d have to go with all my stuff for my custom Hawke. My poor, neglected Alie... I’ve written so little for her...

Most fun story to write:

Shit... Well, I love one-shots. They’re such fun! I mean, I’ve only written 45 of them, so...

Honestly, I love Vhenan and A Mating of Souls equally and for very different reasons. The former is stimulating and interesting and difficult. The latter is an actual trash train that I write when I feel trashy, which is fun!

Story with the single sexiest moment:

Hard to say... There’s Happy Ending Massage for Kahlia Mahariel, which is literally just porn. Vhenan has a fair number of steamy scenes, and they’re all wonderful. I guess it depends on what kind of mood you’re in.

Sweetest story:

Craaaaap! Stop making me choose!

If you’re going for tragically sweet, that would be Come Back to me When it is Over or In Sleep. My poor, Kahlia, she hurts so much.

Personally, I have a thing for my story For a Smile, where Dorian tries to cheer Lyna up by making Solas look ridiculous.

“Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you!” story:

I... I haven’t done anything that weird? Shit, I need to fix that. This is a problem! Still, my answer would be A Willingly Caged Songbird, in which Fenris is a dom.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

*Unintelligible screeching noises* Imma throw this at you and run away.

Stay With Me Always from my AU series.

Most unintentionally telling story:

All. Of. Them!

Kahlia is my PTSD. (DA:O)

Alie is my sarcasm and my unhealthy coping mechanisms. (DA2)

Lyna is me as I wish I was, basically. (Inquisition)

Hardest story to write:

Fuck my life, the answer, yet again, is Vhenan. Shit, I put so much work into it...

Biggest disappointment:

I don’t have one? I’m glad to write just about anything. I guess I was mad that A Mating of Souls, the damn trash train, got recognition so fucking fast that it almost matched Vhenan in stats when it’s a fraction of the length and A LITERAL TRASH TRAIN.

Biggest surprise:

Well, Vhenan has this interesting habit of writing itself with no regard for what I want. Then there’s my modern AU one-shot, To Leave Another Life Behind. I don’t even do modern settings, like ever... I just can’t, for some reason. So that sort of shocked me.

Tagging: @storybookhawke (we don’t talk, but I love your shit) @feynite @spirrum (is that allowed? I think you’re too big for me to tag you in my POS... I’m too small for this!) @cyran9 (because you were nice to me when I first started)

#2016 writing review #writing #Kahlia Mahariel #Alie Hawke #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #dragon age origins #dragon age 2 #Katalyna writes #Lyna Lavellan

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rhnuzlocke · 8 years ago

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Episode 20

Scene 10:

[Ren and Wally only have to spend one more night in the cave before Victory Road leads them back out into the light of day. They both gape at the sight that greets them. They emerge onto the face of the mountain to find a second waterfall cascading down. But unlike the one they climbed to get to this point, at this elevation the falls is split into many separate streams that pour over the cliffs and rush through small canyons. Between the many streams of water that part and knit back together are islands of green dotted with flowers. There are plants bursting from every scrap of soil and moss growing over the rocks, watered by a fine mist the falls create. A path dotted by narrow bridges wends through this unusual landscape to the high plain beyond. An updraft from the falls teases Ren and Wally’s hair as they step out and look around. Wally has to button his cardigan as they go over the first bridge to prevent it from blowing around. On the far side is a small flat area covered in red spider lilies. Wally stops halfway through and turns back to face Ren.]

Wally: Hey Ren. You want to have one last battle before the Elite Four?

Ren: [grinning] Sure. Winner takes the championship?

Wally: [he grins back, eyes alight] Sounds fair… Here I come!

[Ren sends out Pohaku and Wally sends in his azumarill.]

Wally: Aqua Jet, Hopua!

Ren: Counter with Aqua tail, Pohaku!

[The azumarill rockets forward covered with water and water erupts around Pohaku’s tail as well as he swings around and bats the azumarill. Water explodes from the collision and the azurill is knocked back but lands on his feet. Phaku shakes himself off.]

Ren: Iron tail!

Wally: Parry with iron tail!

[Both of their tails gleam like metal and they meet in the middle. Pohaku has the superior weight and after a few clashes he manages to send the azumarill tumbling.]

Wally: Aqua tail!

Ren: Receive with x-scissor!

[The azumarill launches into the air and spins like a wheel, cloaked in water again. Pokahu crosses his claws above him to block, but the azumaril keeps up his spin until he knocks Pohaku’s arms out of the way and strikes him over the head. Pohaku staggers forward.]

Wally: Play rough!

[The azumarill lays into Pohaku’s back with glowing pink paws and the armaldo cries out, trying unsuccessfully to shake the azumarill off.]

Ren: Stone edge!

[Stones erupt around Pohaku, punting the azumarill off.]

Wally: Aqua jet!

[Pohaku is weakened and pinned against his own rocks. The azumarill slams into him, shattering the rocks and knocking Pohaku flat. The azumarill gets up but Pohaku groans and stays down.]

Ren: Sorry about that Po. Nice battle. [She withdraws him and sends out Ao.] Alright Ao, charge beam!

Wally: Aqua jet one more time!

[The azumarill rushes forward again but not fast enough and Ao shoots him down. Wally withdraws him and sends out his alteria.]

Wally: Dragon Dance, Atiru!

[Ao fires off another charge beam as the alteria charges up, glowing light sky blue. He absorbs the hit and beats his wings, taking to the air.]

Ren: Keep up the charge beams!

Wally: Dragon pulse!

[The alteria rolls and dodges Ao’s attack as he swoops in and delivers his own. Ao shudders as she takes the hit, but waits longer on the next pass and dodges before hitting the alteria with another charge beam.]

Wally: Sky attack!

Ren: Discharge!

[The alteria climbs up out of Ao’s range and she waits, barely able to hold onto the excess charge flashing over her pelt. Atiru plummets towards her, surrounded in blinding light and Ao arches upward, releasing all of her energy in a flash just as bright. Both trainers have to cover their eyes and when they look up again both pokemon are on the ground, unable to battle. Ren and Wally withdraw their pokemon and send out Kotai and Kana respectively.]

Wally: Sing!

Ren: Earthquake!

[The delcatty starts to sing but the sandslash bowls her over with a wave of earth before she can get more than a few notes out. The delcatty gets back to her feet as Kotai shakes the drowsiness from his head.]

Ren: Brick break!

Wally: Disarming voice, Kana! Don’t let him in close!

[Kotai rushes at the delcatty, and she hits him head on with the pink sound waves. He barrels through the attack and she only just manages to dodge as he swings his claws at her. She bounds away until there is enough distance to turn and let loose again. This time Kotai dodges and gets close enough to strike her in the side. She rolls away and bounces back up. Kotai looks up at her with dreamy eyes and hi stance relaxes.]

Wally: Yes! Feint attack, Kana! Reel him in!

Ren: Kotai, listen to me: she got you with cute charm. This isn’t real.

[The delcatty disappears in a puff of blackness and reappears right next to Kotai. She knocks the sandslash flat before darting away. Kotai gazes after her, even more dazed than before.]

Wally: Disarming voice!

Ren: Think about Alwyn! Block with earthquake!

[Kotai snaps back as Kana fires pink soundwaves at him once more. He raises his arms and blocks the attack with a wall of earth.]

Ren: Woo! Now brick break!

[The dirt wall falls and Kotai runs at the delcatty again. Kana uses disarming voice again but it mostly glaces off his scales as Kotai ducks. He slides the rest of the way in and socks Kana in the belly. She falls over in defeat.]

Wally: We almost had him! Great job, Kana.

[He recalls her and sends out his roserade. Kotai prepares a shadow claw but Aroha lands a giga drain before she can reach him and drains the rest of his energy. Ren withdraws him and sends out Naihi.]

Wally: Petal blizzard!

Ren: Mega Horn!

[The roserade surrounds Naihi in a storm of petals, completely blocking her from view for a moment before she slices out of it. She launches at Aroha, but is only lands a glancing blow as she is knocked aside by the hail of petals.]

Ren: Night slash! Make it count!

Wally: Sludge bomb!

[Naihi bounces back to her feet but the roserade nails her in the face and twirls to the side so that absol misses her completely.]

Wally: Petal Blizzard again!

Ren: Megahorn!

[Naihi wipes off the gunk to find a flurry of petals headed her way. This time she leaps up, only caught by the tail end of them as she lands. Aroha cannot turn her attack around fast enough and Naihi slashes her across the chest. The absol stand proudly over her fallen foe for a moment before she shakes from poisoning. She hobbles back to Ren for and antidote whole Wally sprays down his roserade with a potion. Next they send out their mightyena and magnezone.]

Ren: Crunch, Akahata! Break down their defences!

Wally: Ume, thunder wave!

[Akahata’s jaws charge with dark energy as she runs forward. She leaps up onto the magnezone and clamps down on their antenna. They retaliate by sending a charge through her. Sparks ripple across her as she leaps clear, but her paws glow faintly.]

Wally: [face hardening] Flash cannon!

[Akahata dodges the attack with spectacular speed and latches onto one of Ume’s u-magnets this time. They spin like a top to throw her off, but the damage is done.]

Wally: Thunderbolt!

[Akahata can’t move for a second and takes the hit but the next moment she dashes forward and crunches Ume’s other u-magnet.]

Ren: Almost there, Aka! Assurance!

[The magnezone charges again but before they can fire Akahata leaps up and rams her shoulder onto the magnezone’s central eye. They screech and drift down to the ground as Akahata hops off. Wally withdraws them, takes a deep breath and sends out his final pokemon. The gallade squares off with Akahata.]

Wally: Leaf blade!

Ren: Thunder fang!

[Akahata dodges Kihei’s first strike with her boosted speed, but he manages to sidestep her and slash the mightyena across the back. She teeters and falls. Ren withdraws her and sends out Taraki. Ren and The four friends look at each other and nod. Ren and Wally touch their keystones and lights arcs from them to their pokemon. The wind generated makes the flowers dance and pushes the mist back. Both emerge at the same time, Kihei tossing his cloak and Taraki thrashing his tail.]

Ren: X-scissor!

Wally: Psycho cut!

[The two leap forward to meet each other in a blur and trade blows until Taraki catches Kihei in the shoulder.]

Ren: Dragon claw!

[Taraki’s claws glow and elongate and he slashes at Kihei. The gallade parry’s twice before taking a glancing blow across the chin.]

Wally: Close combat!

[The gallade soon overcomes Taraki and punches him in the chest, knocking him back.]

Ren: Leaf blade!

[Taraki spins before the Gallade can close again and knocks him away with his tail. Kihei somersaults back to his feet.]

Wally: Psycho cut!

[The megas charge each other, Taraki’s arm glowing green and Kihei’s glowing purple. They meet in the middle and sparks fly as the two edges grind against each other. Finally Taraki knocks Kihei back and slashes the gallade across the chest. He staggers and goes to one knee, dropping his mega form. Ren and Taraki roar and Wally and Kihei look up at them as Taraki drops back to his normal form. Wally hangs his head and sighs before picking himself up. He is breathing pretty heavy, but tries to control it.]

Wally: You beat me… Arghhh!!! [The yell sends his lungs over the edge and he has to take a few breaths from his inhaler before he can talk again.] …hah …hah. I really thought I had you there for a second, but is wasn’t enough…

Ren: Me too. When did you get so strong? Holy shit. I really am gonna have to watch my back.

Wally: I’ll stick to my promise and let you have a few months first. Would want to drag you away from Steven.

Ren: [whining] Stoooppp!

Wally: [He takes another steadying breath and smiles.] Thank you for never holding back when you battle me. I feel like I've been able to take another step forward thanks to you and Kihei and the others. I’m not the same person you met back in Petalburg and I’ll be forever grateful for that.

Ren: I’m just glad I got to see you grow. Promise me you won’t ever hold back either. I want you to come challenge me again when you’re ready. Don’t worry about me and Steven.

Wally: Alright.

[Ren offers her hand and they shake on it. Together the four of them head out of the field of flowers and on through the rivulets and waterfalls to the plateau. The final stretch of the road to the Hoenn League building is lined by great wooden gates. Each pair of pillars was carved by one of Hoenn’s iwis with designs that evoke the legendary pokemon whose lore they keep and the heros of their past. The first gate depicts Latios and Latias and Ren smiles fondly up at them as she passes through. The second gate has Jirachi, which Ren is not familiar with. The third depicts the three Regis and the next Regigigas. The penultimate gate belongs to the Orb Guardians iwi and shows Groudon and Kyogre. The final gate was carved by the Draconids and one column is entwined by Rayquaza while the other depicts their summoning and the hero who would ride Rayquaza into the sky. Ren turns her head as they pass through to look a little longer before finally fixing her eyes on the Hoenn League. The entrance painted red and three-tiered with traditional tile roofs. Ren and Wally march up to the great double doors and push them open together.]

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mommy-needs-to-break-shit-blog · 8 years ago

Text

10 Years Ago Today. (The Death of Hope)

It was January 18th, 2007. I woke up at 6am, got myself together and went to work. I did a 7-2 shift at one store and picked up a 2-6 shift at the second.

When I got home I paid my bills. (Yeah, 19 years old, 3 jobs, owned my own vehicle, paid my own rent, utilities, phone, car insurance, and credit card bills. Rare by today’s stands.)

I picked my friend Matt up and stop one was Wal-Mart. I got the book for my brother. After, we decided to go get something to eat. As we sat in the restaurant my phone rang, it was Scott, my boss at the studio, he wanted me to come in and help with a project “real quick.” I told him that I would come but I was bringing Matt with me. I worked for a couple hours, then around 1030, we left.

It was cold and rainy. We got in my car and headed out. About halfway home we were talking about “safe cars” and how, at the time, safety sacrificed aesthetic appeal.

I was mid rant,

“I don’t even give half a shit how safe it is. You wont EVER my ass driving a Volvo-o-o OH FUCK!”

Screeching tires, smashing glass, crunching metal, and then THUD. My dome smashing into the driver’s side window.

That “oh fuck” was the sound of me realizing that the odd light coming through the car in front of me was actually an oncoming SUV in the wrong lane. And subsequently ending my life as I knew it.

The car in front of us swerved right and got hit into a stone wall. I saw no traffic on the other side so I swerved left. At that moment time seemed to stop. For a split second I thought we’d made it safely out of the way.

Then the impact.

The Jeep slammed into my passenger door at an angle, slicing open the whole side of my little car, like a fucking tin can. And fusing the door shut. The airbags deployed, the car spun a full 3 revolutions, blowing out all 4 tires, and finally came to rest facing the opposite direction I’d started in.

In the impact I attempted to shield my face, got hit hard by the airbag, and was flung backward into my seat. It was as if I was stuck to the seat, spinning on a nightmarish carnival ride. Glass was flying all over the car digging in and cutting in wherever it landed. I could see everything, the car that hit us, the car he hit before me, and the cars stopped all around. When the driver side tires blew out the spin ended abruptly, smashing my head and shoulder into the window and door.

I felt the car stop and I could smell the burning rubber. I looked over and saw Matt, bloody but conscious. Smoke was filling the car. He managed to groan out “My door wont open!” I was numb from the brain down and no one was coming to help. I thought the car would catch fire, knowing I shouldn’t move or try to move him didn’t matter, I wasn’t burning alive in that car and neither was he! I climbed out my door and grabbed him, dragging him across the console and out, basically on top of me. We both stood up, he was unsteady but standing nonetheless.

That was when I saw my car. I lost my fucking mind. I had no idea how injured I was, all I could think about was the superficial, I had no more car. It was twisted, mangled, and destroyed.

The woman from the car that had been in front of me got out and started screaming across the road at me. She called me every imaginable word from A-F. She thought I hit her. I tried to yell out to her “I didn’t hit you!” but hardly any sound came out. I was horrified.

Some other woman drove right through the accident scene, weaving around the debris and stopped by my car. I thought “oh thank god, she’s going to help us.” wrong. She leaned out her window and barked “Move your fucking car, you’re gonna cause another fucking accident asshole!” Wait, what?! She thought I was the one who caused it.

Everything started to spin, I ran for the side of the road and grabbed the nearest sign post as I started puking my guts up into the brush. I threw Matt my coat to sit on because the ground was too wet, and I continued to vomit.

A guy walked over and started talking to me as I leaned against the post trying to regain my strength. He asked if I was alright, he told me I was bleeding quite a bit and that I should sit down. I refused. He stood there and talked to me a while, he said everything would be alright, that the ambulance was coming and they would take care of me. Then the EMT’s and police were all around and I think that man had just walked away.

An officer was over by me, 2 were directing traffic, another was with the woman from the other car, and 4 cruisers holding 6 or 7 officers were in the parking lot across the street. Guns drawn, strategic positions, spotlights pointed on what appeared to be the white Jeep head on in a tree.

My strength came back real quick when I saw them dragging the staggering shitbag out of the truck. I started screaming, or I thought I was screaming, and I was heading over there. The officer on my side of the road grabbed ahold of my harm and told me to stop. Fuck no po-po. I wasn’t having it. The old woman started screaming at me again, presumably because she thought I was blaming her. Her officer restrained her but I was still not stopping. The officers directing traffic came to help restrain me until the EMT’s made them let me go to avoid hurting me further. By that point the motherfucker was being cuffed and stuffed into a cruiser.

I spun around to the muffled voice of a man asking me to sit. He stuck a plastic brace around my neck and started tending to my face. He said “you need to go to the hospital, you’re cut up badly and I’m fairly certain you have a concussion.” There was bloody gauze all over the tray beside me and Matt was already strapped into a gurney on the ambulance. I got a glimpse of myself in the bubble mirror on the back of the ambulance and nearly threw up at the sight of myself. I started to cry and agreed to go. They set me up on a backboard, strapped me in, and away we went. The EMT monitoring me looked nervous, he started talking faster and louder asking me questions over and over. Until I lost consciousness.

I woke up in the ER, a police officer was standing by my bed talking to a nurse. I was hooked up to an IV and monitors. And holy fucking hell everything hurt.

The nurse rushed to my side when she saw my eyes were open. She said I was lucky. That I’d only been unconscious for about 30 minutes and that my dad was on the way. She expressed concern that with a head injury they were unable to wake me. She told me I had severe contact burns to the right side of my face and neck. Severe burns in my throat from the powder on the air bags. They had pulled over 30 pieces of glass from lacerations on my face, neck, back, chest, and side. I had a fairly severe concussion, and was showing signs of partial paralysis.

It was a lot to take in. Again, thinking superficial, “My face is burned!!” then a sudden jolt “WAIT! PARALYSIS?!” She looked at me with THAT face, that semi-sincere sympathy face. “I’m sorry but yes, your left hand and arm are unresponsive to stimuli. We’re going to do some imaging. Just try to relax, but don’t go to sleep.”

A doctor came in and started talking. He had these packets in his hands and “blabla..response…blabla…nerve damage..blabla..permanent.” He took out these little needles and started poking me in my toes. I told him to fuck off and “ow my feet”. He started poking up my legs. I threatened him if he didn’t leave my legs alone. He poked my hand. I told him to cut the shit and stop poking my hand. “Hand?” he was looking at my other hand, followed his eyes and there it was… The needle, being poked into the palm and fingers of my left hand. And if I didn’t see it I would never have known. I only really remember feeling empty at that moment. Like I was just floating and none of this was real.

My dad walked in a few minutes later and I lost it. All my strength left me and I cried like a terrified child in my father’s arms. I told him what happened, and what the nurse and doctor said. He was surprisingly calm.

As they wheeled my bed off to imaging i saw Matt, sitting up in his bed with his parents sitting beside him.

The imaging was terribly painful and they wouldn’t let me walk or sit up.

My dad did a little bitching and they agreed to let me go under his care. And they told him to keep me awake as much as possible.

I cried the whole way home and then some, I couldn’t lift my arm, How would I play? My throat was burned, How could I sing?

My audition was coming up in just a couple of weeks. I'd be ruined!

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