#/lotion

[zeeverseconfession]

I made an au

Joy /globe

Sadness/ box

Anger/quill

Fear idk maybe scroll

Disgust/debit card

Anxiety grenade

Ennui/ pot or lotion

Envy//wicked basket

Embarrassment// idk man

Sorry if this au is ass

.

[blairwitchapologist]

has anyone else been seeing the tweets about a lotion from sephora that attracts spiders

[demonboyhalo]

"average person sees 3 spiders a year" factoid is a statistical error. Sephora Georg, who attracts 3 million horny spiders with the spider sex lotion, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[nonranghaes]

“ooh, you smell good.” chris inhales deep, the smell of your coconut lotion strong since you just applied it. he’s curled his arms around you, hugging you from behind as he sneaks a little kiss against the side of your neck. “you gonna share?”

its silly, but its the moments like this that you live for the most. sharing lotion with your partner, who thanks you and rubs it into his own skin with this giddy grin on his face. he steals so much of your things since moving in together: body wash, lotion, shampoo… all things he happily replaces without complaint.

“sometimes i think you’re obsessed with smelling like me,” you muse aloud while you continue to get ready for bed.

he says nothing at first. “you…” he pokes your back for emphasis, “you stole my cologne first.” he’s still grinning when you look at him, confident he’s won whatever conversation this is.

because he’s right: you ‘stole’ (was happily given upon request, actually) a bottle of his cologne when you had to go away for a work thing, before the two of you started living together.

“so,” he says, “this is just payback.”

you just roll your eyes. this just means war from here on out: you’ll start stealing his things, too. just to get him back and see that cheeky smile.

[lenyavok]

Lotion Seller

[alithographica]

Regret to inform you lotion spider post is probably fake, in the notes there are People pointing out the same reviewer has been periodically posting the exact same review over and over

I am devastated, nobody talk to me unless you can make spider lotion real

Spiders if you’re reading this you have a huge opportunity to commit to the bit here

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[ganjafairyfloss]

philosophy <3

[zeeverseconfession]

I barely know who lotion is but she is a business woman no doubt

.

[eroticlamb]

Philosophy: Sweet talk and Sweet on you shampoo and body lotion ୨ৎ

[chellychuu]

Strawberry scented 🍓🤍

[danny0897]

Beautiful woman with a cute bump rubbing lotion on belly

[hemi-demi]

So one time I was using the bathroom in my apartment, and when I turned off the sink I heard a voice really loud and clear in the room with me.

Took no time at all to recognize it when the voice says "How can I sound anything silly? I'm plastic." and I'm immediately reaching for my phone like "wtf, am I accidentally playing TMA right now? How?

Phone wasn't playing shit, and I legitimately got a little freaked out as to why Nikola was suddenly talking.

Turns out the walls in my apartment bathroom are just so thin, I can hear my neighbors as if they're in the same goddamn bathroom with me, and they were on TikTok while also using their bathroom.

That neighbor has since moved out, and I wonder if they ever listened to the show, or if they knew they gave me a goddamn heart attack.

[lenyavok]

Lotion Seller

[catboy-autism]

why are you alterhuman/nonhuman? wrong answers only

I'll go first: instead of using normal lotion on me, my mom used lotion made for horse, cattle, cats, and dogs

[heartnosekid]

sundaeskinco on ig