#/lotion

[zeeverseconfession]

I made an au

Joy /globe

Sadness/ box

Anger/quill

Fear idk maybe scroll

Disgust/debit card

Anxiety grenade

Ennui/ pot or lotion

Envy//wicked basket

Embarrassment// idk man

Sorry if this au is ass

.

[demonboyhalo]

"average person sees 3 spiders a year" factoid is a statistical error. Sephora Georg, who attracts 3 million horny spiders with the spider sex lotion, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[nonranghaes]

“ooh, you smell good.” chris inhales deep, the smell of your coconut lotion strong since you just applied it. he’s curled his arms around you, hugging you from behind as he sneaks a little kiss against the side of your neck. “you gonna share?”

its silly, but its the moments like this that you live for the most. sharing lotion with your partner, who thanks you and rubs it into his own skin with this giddy grin on his face. he steals so much of your things since moving in together: body wash, lotion, shampoo… all things he happily replaces without complaint.

“sometimes i think you’re obsessed with smelling like me,” you muse aloud while you continue to get ready for bed.

he says nothing at first. “you…” he pokes your back for emphasis, “you stole my cologne first.” he’s still grinning when you look at him, confident he’s won whatever conversation this is.

because he’s right: you ‘stole’ (was happily given upon request, actually) a bottle of his cologne when you had to go away for a work thing, before the two of you started living together.

“so,” he says, “this is just payback.”

you just roll your eyes. this just means war from here on out: you’ll start stealing his things, too. just to get him back and see that cheeky smile.

[lenyavok]

Lotion Seller

[alithographica]

Regret to inform you lotion spider post is probably fake, in the notes there are People pointing out the same reviewer has been periodically posting the exact same review over and over

I am devastated, nobody talk to me unless you can make spider lotion real

Spiders if you’re reading this you have a huge opportunity to commit to the bit here

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[catmask]

actually hi heres a photodump from the last week ^_^ im starting to take pictures of stuff more whenever i think its cute

[eroticlamb]

Philosophy: Sweet talk and Sweet on you shampoo and body lotion ୨ৎ

[d-emeter]

Simon Riley who loves to watch you shower (though not in the way you think). — plus-size!fem!reader x Simon 'Ghost' Riley

CW: plus-sized reader but can be read as body neutral, non-sexual nudity, simon being smitten

You're not sure when it became a habit, but you remember the first time it happened. You had announced you were going to take a shower, and Simon had sprung up, asking if he could quickly brush his teeth before you went in there. You snorted a little at that, telling him he could do it while you were showering — he'd seen you naked plenty of times before, you didn't even think twice about it. And always one to follow an order, he did as he was told.

It took you a second to notice how he had stilled his movements, toothbrush still hanging from his mouth and his eyes focused on you through the mirror as it slowly fogged up.

"Something wrong, Si?"

"N'thin, baby, jus' do y'r thing."

It became almost ritual not long after that. If Simon spotted you with a fresh set of clothes in your arms, he padded over to the bathroom behind you, not a word exchanged. He'd sit on the closed toilet seat, insisting you left the shower door open.

"Si, the whole bathroom's gonna get wet..."

"Don't matter. I'll dry it after."

And then he just... watches. In complete silence, he just gazes at you. Watching how you wash your hair (doing it twice, because someone on social media told you it was better for your hair), inhaling deeply as the scent of your shampoo fills the air. He watches how you work the conditioner in, letting it sit while you continue with the next step of your routine. He watches you scrub away with a washcloth, suds covering your skin before rinsing it all off under the hot water. He particularly enjoys what you call your 'everything showers'. If you're in the mood to shave, he wants you to put your foot up on the toilet seat, right between his thighs — he'll handle the hard to see parts, lovie, don't worry about it. He's a little confused about the concept of scrub, but you have no problem babbling an explanation as you rub it all over your body (you find a whole array of newly acquired shower products the day after — scrubs included). He's still watching when you get out, how you dab yourself dry instead of rubbing, almost hypnotized as you smear serum after serum and layer cream after cream on your face and body.

"No fuckin' wonder your skin is so soft- Y'got a whole apothecary in here."

"What, you think this happens naturally?"

—

The first time he actually joins you, he doesn't really know how to get the question out. It's a day and a half after he came back from deployment, and as much as you would have loved to smother him in affection, you knew he needed time. Time to ground himself, to stop seeing the blood on his hands even after scrubbing them raw, to go from being Ghost to being Simon. He's been holed up in the bedroom since he came home, and only moves to leave once he hears the bathroom door open. You only smile at him when he appears in the doorway, assuming he'd take his usual seat. He doesn't. Instead, he's gesturing awkwardly to the shower. You know what he means.

"Can I- D'you mind if-"

"Of course you can, Si."

You're gentle with him; coaxing him out of his clothes and mask, turning the shower on and letting it get to temperature before guiding him in with you. He's stiff as a board still, but you see the small exhale at the hot water hitting his skin. You reach for his shampoo (the one you picked out for him — you nearly broke up with him when you first saw the single 5-in-1 bottle he had in his bathroom), but he's faster, grabbing your own and handing it to you, and you know what he wants. You don't say a word as you squeeze some onto your palm, and go to reach up when you realize-

"Simon, baby, could you bend down a little? I can't reach..."

He's on his knees before you know it. His eyes close when your hands start working through his hair — it's longer than when he left. His hands find their way to your thighs. You know he doesn't need it for balance. His forehead rests against the pudge of your stomach as you rinse him out. You can still see the remnants of his eyeblack when you tilt his head up.

You take him through your whole routine. He lets you wash him before you take care of yourself — he just watches, like second nature.

You know you have your Simon back once you turn the water off.

[zeeverseconfession]

Sharpie probably can't handle spicy food so every time TV makes something remotely spicy he starts tweaking and she has to make him an alternative

Oh and I think Lotion likes sweets.. I like sweets and lotion

.

[chellychuu]

Strawberry scented 🍓🤍

[catboy-autism]

why are you alterhuman/nonhuman? wrong answers only

I'll go first: instead of using normal lotion on me, my mom used lotion made for horse, cattle, cats, and dogs

[sergle]

some ppl are scared of ebay, and I think it's so funny because it'll be like. one of my sisters wanted to know where I got a particular lotion, I sent her the ebay link, and she's like omg I'm scared, what if they take my card information..... GIRL. amazon is worse!!!!

[lenyavok]

Lotion Seller

[florietas]

[capturedbeauty]