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allyvampirelass29 · 5 years ago

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Chapter 5: A Good Night to Die

A HEROES Fanfiction Angel Before the Fall Series By: Allyssa J. Watkins

“I am going to kill Sylar tonight."

Noah turned the iron spike over and over in his fingers, practically trembling with anticipation. It was red with rust and dried blood. The first time he'd held this spike, he was pulling it out of Sylar's skull. Tonight it was going back in for good. I am going to kill Sylar tonight. How many times had he said those words aloud, wielded them like his choice weapon, threatened it, savored it, promised it, to Claire as she sobbed against his shoulder, to The Company as he stood over the blood-stained carpet of yet another Special with the top of their head sawn off? Hundreds. And every promise, every vow had been a lie. Sylar was an infection, a cancer that he could never quite get all of, that kept coming back even stronger than before. Finally, after four grisly years, Sylar Gray had made a mistake. He'd fallen in love, and given Noah a heart to break, a weak spot to press and ultimately shatter. The plan was foolproof, flawless, and would end in Sylar's Death. It was an impending event, the only outcome, an actual definite. I am going to kill Sylar tonight.

He squeezed his fingers into a fist around the spike, his eyes sharp and focused as he imagined it dripping with Sylar's blood. That snarky psychopath had raised his lethal finger for the last time. I've got you, Gabriel. No more running, no more smart remarks or murderous parlor tricks. The chase is over.

"Hey Bennet, we got Ally to the cell, and gave your orders to the five guards in position. Man, your Primatech Paper Phonies, they make my brother's guys look like punk kids playing paintball!"

"Is she still unconscious? I need her completely blacked out, Sylar's already enough of a variable without adding Mrs. Smith too. In fact, I want all the intercom speakers to the detention wing silenced, alarms, emergency warnings, kill it all. When he comes, I do NOT want her to know. And Peter...... they aren't your brother's guys........ make no mistake, they're DANKO'S guys. Your brother is just the friendly face that legitimizes an ultra illegal operation. Don't forget that. I'm watching out for him. If we need anyone right now, it's Nathan Petrelli. He'll come around, you'll see. Killing Sylar is exactly the win we need to get him to stop this ridiculous witch hunt.

Peter got really quiet, biting the corner of his lip before looking at Noah with solemn eyes. "Thank you. Thank you, Noah. God....... I needed to hear that. It all comes down to tonight. I just want my brother back. Ally's down for the count, I'll tell the security guys about the intercom........"

"I have a question. What happens if someone comes here, actually wanting to buy some paper?"

Noah cracked a smile, as he pocketed the spike. "Good question, Parkman. You know, it's funny, in all my twenty plus years in the business, that has never once happened."

Noah stared at his flip phone on his desk, and Peter followed his gaze.

"Has he called yet?"

"Sylar? No, not yet, but it's coming. I can feel his hatred and rage from here. Rene hasn't checked in though, that's what's worrying me. I told him eight o'clock on the dot, or I'm deporting him."

"Relax. I just got off the phone with Claire, she's fine, she's having some kind of sleepover girls night with her dorm mates."

Noah whirled around, his features hard. "I didn't say anything about Claire, what do you mean you just got off the phone with CLAIRE!?"

"Whoah, Angry Dad, she called ME!! Your daughter's worried about you, Noah. C'mon don't give me that look, I played it cool, I didn't tell her anything about tonight. I'm her uncle too, remember? I told her Sylar was a near miss, and that The Haitian's there strictly as a precaution. Smart move by the way, Sylar's not getting anywhere near her with him hanging around.

"Perfect. Now you know my daughter's exact location, just what I wanted, and HELLO, "Cool Uncle Peter," how do you know that, "girls night sleepover," isn't the secret code for "college rager party with tons of strange boys," any one of them being SYLAR!? She's MY daughter, Peter, she may not have my actual DNA, but she inherited my lying ability pretty quick."

"I just want to say," Parkman started, looking at Noah earnestly, "I myself, didn't hear anything about where Claire may or may not be. And if she is where I don't know, Sylar's not getting it from me."

"Na, she's not trying to pull one over on you, Noah, I heard Notebook playing in the background, and at least one girl crying over some guy named Chad. I think we're good."

Parkman made a face, "Wait.......You've SEEN Notebook?"

"What? No......" Peter stammered, his cheeks turning red.

"How did you recognize it if you haven't seen it?" Parkman asked trying not to laugh.

"I..... I just guessed- I mean, I'm sure she told me the name of the- one of the other girls probably-

Both Parkman and Noah leaned in expectantly, with knowing smiles.

"Alright fine!!! I watched it with my mom one night when I got off late, she'd been fighting with my dad, and GEEZ it was just the one time, okay!"

"Did you fantasize about being Ryan Gosling?"

"No! Well, maybe a little....... Rachel McAdams is hot, alright?"

"Let's hope for the love of GOD you lie better to my daughter, than you do to us."

Suddenly the flip phone on Noah's desk rang, and a cold, deathly silence filled the room.

"That's him. Everybody out. It's showtime."

**********

Noah inhaled deeply, as he took the phone in his hands. The ring sounded angry, accusing. He flipped it open, his hand steady, and slowly brought it to his ear.

"Hello?"

Nothing at first. Silence. But it was the Sylar kind of silence, the calm before the storm, the kind of silence that was an obvious threat. He heard it then, the heavy, erratic breathing, and could almost picture Sylar, shoulders rising and falling as he struggled to keep his composure.

"Hey Syyy! I had a feeling you might check in. How's it goin' buddy? Thanks for the scar."

"......... Where......... is............ she?" Sylar's voice was seething, animalistic, and not at all human. It sounded the way you'd talk to someone right before you murdered them.

"I've got her, Gabriel. You want her back? You better be willing to make a deal."

Noah could practically hear Sylar's nostrils flaring on the other line, his fuming inhale as he tried to steady his breathing. More silence.

"Sylar?"

"DAMN you to HELL, Noah! You son of a BITCH, you have NO idea what you've just done!!!!"

"You kiss your girlfriend with that mouth? You'll be kissing her goodbye, if you don't start talking."

More silence

"Let me guess, Noah," Sylar responded venomously, saying Noah's name like it was an insult all its own. "This is the part where I break down sobbing, the distraught boyfriend, begging you not to hurt her, and offer myself in exchange, right? WRONG. I don't plan on dealing. This is a courtesy call. THIS is the LAST chance you'll EVER have to hand her over, before I raise hell all around you and take her anyway. You don't do every single damn thing I tell you, then you're in for the WORST night of your life, and oh GOD you're going to wish I'd just killed you." Sylar chuckled coldly, his voice dripping with dark sarcasm.

"You're not really in the position to be making any demands, right now, Sy." Noah smiled, his eyes razor sharp, practically feeling Sylar's back arch, disgusted. "I know you. You're playing it cool, chillin' like a villain, but you're going CRAZY without her, it's tearing you up inside, I can feel it, I can hear it, in the edge in your voice. You're off your handle, and you don't know what the HELL you're going to do........."

Sylar's nostrils flared with his fury, and he scrunched the burner phone in his hand as he lowered it against his cheek, tempted to crush it with his fist, his eyes flashing like wildfire embers.

He looked at the violent destruction all around him, half of it he didn't even remember doing, he'd been so blind with rage. It was one of his old haunts, a long ago abandoned hotel in Queens called, "The Rogue." The kind of place he would have never taken his lady. Dark blood spatter on the floor from previous kills, slashed paintings, broken ceramic pieces from lamps, ashtrays, soap dishes, anything he could throw, torn down wallpaper, green marble actually dug out from the floor, crumbling holes in the wall, shredded curtains and sheets, and an entire mattress torn clean in half, feathers still floating in the dusty air, after he'd ripped his way through the down pillows. Every single thing in the room had been ravenously demolished. His whole body shook with his deep hatred of Noah and how dead on he was. Damn right, he'd gone mental.

"Face it, Sylar. You're out of moves. Your shield is literally down. Checkmate, because I've got your Queen. Step away from the board and turn yourself in. You do that, and I might even let you say goodbye."

"What do you mean LITERALLY down!?" Sylar said far louder and much more concerned than he'd meant to. Damn it. He turned his head at an exact angle, feeling his chest expand. "No....... no, nice try, you wouldn't kill her before you got to me. Ha. Yeah right, Good Guy Noah Bennet. She's alive. I would know if you were lying. Besides, she probably reminds you too much of your precious Claire."

"Gabriel, you know better than anyone that Good Guys are capable of some very BAD things. She's not dead...... not yet. But if you don't give yourself up...... She will be. Especially if you even say Claire's name one more time."

Sylar waited for it, the reassuring tingle, his body signaling Noah's lie, his vision shaking. Noah was a good liar, but he wasn't a killer. He waited..... But it never came.

"I should have KILLED you in the alley, Noah. I had you. I had your throbbing jugular between my fingers, and I should have squeezed hard, until it burst open."

"You didn't have me, Gabriel. I had you. I had everything right where I wanted it. If you'd taken one step where you weren't supposed to be, I'd have shot her in the chest, her blood cloaking possibilities be damned."

"Please. No you wouldn't have. Even if you did, I can heal, or did you forget? You know who you can thank for that. One injection of my blood, and she'd be alive, and you'd be just another NYC homicide. You EVER shoot her, or so much as touch one curl, and I'll cut out your beating heart."

Noah grinned jovially. Oh he didn't know, didn't even realize it yet. He wished he could see his face as he told him. "Wrong. Your blood can't save her, you fool. One shot, she's dead. Her blood can't be altered by anyone but herself, or did YOU forget? You can give her every drop you've got, but she's not coming back. It doesn't matter if I killed her then, or if I kill her now, or if YOU kill her later. That's right, one day you're going to get in one of your moods, you're going to get angry, you're going to work out your aggression without thinking, and she's going to be standing too close....... Don't you get it!? You're going to kill her the same way you did your own sweet mother, the same way you killed VIRGINIA!!!!"

"DON'T YOU EVER SAY MY MOTHER'S NAME!!!!!!! Sylar screamed into the phone, his eyebrows slanted dangerously downward, his bottom lip shuddering, incensed. He punched another hole into the wall, with a yell, felt it crumble with the force of his fist, and watched his bruised and bleeding knuckles melt softly back into perfect skin. He was nauseous, his head swimming. He couldn't save Ally. If they took her life, he couldn't bring her back........

"You can save her, Sylar. Turn yourself in, and she goes free, untouched, safe, and you'll never have to worry about living through that trauma again. Her life for yours, it's that easy.

Noah could feel the uncertainty, the fear in Sylar's silence.

"You were right about one thing...... No matter how this goes down, I'll NEVER let you have her. You really think you deserve LOVE after all that you've done!? Villains never get the girl, Gabriel, there is NO happily ever after for you. After you DESTROYED my marriage there's no way in hell I'm just going to let you ride off into your twisted version of a sunset, with that girl, letting you use and abuse her to your black heart's content. I'd rather see her dead, than on your arm."

"You'll never take her from me again, Noah. I'm going to get her back, and when I do...... I'm going to punish you, ohhhh yes, I can make you feel pain that you'd never believe exists. You take away my dream, and I'll introduce you to your nightmare." Sylar felt his blood quicken, the killer within stirring, a slow smirk salaciously working its way across his lips. "The game's not over, it starts with me throwing away the board."

"Listen to you. You love it, don't you?" Noah said, a bit incredulous. "Sylar Gray, The Big Bad Boyfriend."

Sylar smiled, one eyebrow raised, his dark eyes positively sinful." It certainly makes the downtime more fun. So much more....... interactive."

"So you're sleeping with her?"

Sylar chuckled, brushing his thumb along his strong jawline, feeling his heart race at the thought. "Come, Noah, must you be so crass? It's called love-making and no. She's not that kind of girl."

"But you ARE that kind of boy. Don't think I didn't see you with Elle before that second eclipse. If you hadn't already killed her father, he would have killed you."

"Oh you know me, Noah, always plan ahead. Yes, I am, and I'm ready, but she's delicate, and worth waiting for...... besides you know how I love to have my imagination teased. The anticipation........ can be exquisite."

Noah felt his stomach writhe, thoroughly creeped out, and his voice was wildly unenthused. "Well..... lucky her. I suppose third time's a charm."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You know EXACTLY what I mean. You're a literal lady killer, first Maya, then Elle, and now your new victim, Lovely Miss Ally."

Sylar rolled his eyes, annoyed. "Maya was a means to an end, and last time I checked still very much alive, I might add. The whole seduction was a ruse, and I didn't even have my powers then."

"Which didn't stop you from putting a bullet in her chest if I remember correctly."

"Insurance. If I hadn't, there would have been no way to know if Mohinder was giving me the right vial. I needed my powers back. And Elle....... Elle was your fault."

"Alright. I'll give you that one."

"Although........ I should thank you, really. If you and Elle hadn't pulled your messed up little stunt, I never would have become Sylar. You created me, Noah, and stopped poor Gabriel from killing himself."

"Like Frankenstein's Monster. There's not a day that goes by that I don't regret that. I should have let you hang yourself."

"Oh Elle....... If she hadn't used me, manipulated me, and outright lied to me about my parents, we might have worked. I think of her every time I'm electrocuting the life out of some poor soul......." He flipped his wrist, smiling fondly, and Noah could hear the crackle of blue lightning. "Oh yes, Elle's parting gift. It's funny...... at first, my little brunette seemed too good to be true as well. I threw her against the wall because I thought she was working for you. Fool me twice......"

"If I could have possibly known the hold she'd have on you, the unsettling fascination you'd have for her, she would be. Honestly, I imagined your taste in women much more malevolent. Nobody thinks the serial killer's going to fall for the girl scout. It sounds like a bad slasher flick. But then again..... what is it you call yourself? Sylar, The Great Defiler?"

"A lot of people call me that."

"No, it's just you. You make them good girls go bad, huh? Or is it opposites attract and all that?"

"Who says it can't be both? I just find it so sexy that the same girl and boy that always stayed in, unnoticed, unimportant, and spent every single night of their lives alone, are now the two most powerful beings in this world. Just warms ya up, doesn't it? I own the night now, Noah. And I own Ally.

"Not right now, you don't. You may have her fooled, with your tortured soul, misunderstood, all-I-need-is-love act, but as usual I see right through you. She's nothing but your next casualty. She belongs to The Company now, where her powers can be used for good, and not shielding worthless scum like you.

"Before you get too excited, Noah, about using her and get these grand delusions of invincible armies, allow me to enlighten you. "It won't work if you try to force her. She has to do it willingly. She has to want to do it. And she only has enough power to surround one person at a time."

"How the hell did you get her to do it for you that first time, then?"

"Hmmm.....It's killing you isn't it? I can't decide if it was my sexy eyebrows or my annihilating smile that convinced her. Huh. Probably both. You see, she has a thing for bad boys. And as it so happens, I have a thing for good girls. Especially when they have that little something extra y'know?

"Or much more likely, she showed you out of pure desperation so that you wouldn't kill her that first encounter. That's one to tell the grandkids."

"Yeah," Sylar smiled softly, remembering. She'd been so brave and instantly drawn to him, so willing and gentle. "That too...... God she's so clever. The moment she touched my chest, and I felt that inexplicable power pulsing through my veins, what can I say? She had me.

"And her little spell lasts about two hours doesn't it?"

Noah heard Sylar go dangerously silent on the other line. His breathing getting quiet, deadly.

"Yeah, that's right, I know about that too. Two hours, and it's been, what do you think, at least nine since your last power up?"

"Isn't that fortunate?" Sylar practically hissed, his snarky tone turning again cold and vicious. "You might actually have a fighting chance..... for once, Noah. Or at least a few hours longer than you deserve to live....... Well, it's been swell chatting, Bennet, but I'm bored. This is your last chance. Are you going to give me what's mine, or do we get to do this the fun way?

"You don't even know where I am, Gabriel. You'll never find her."

"I don't? You sure about that, Noah?"

A loud bang came from inside the closet and Sylar twitched like a predator that hadn't yet been fed.

"I know when you're bluffing, and I know when you don't know what the hell you're doing."

"Fun way it is. It's a good night to die, Noah. See ya in a few."

Sylar hung up, and Noah slowly lowered his phone. "Yes, Gabriel, it is."

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

#sylar #heroes #gabriel gray #noah bennet #peter petrelli #matt parkman #primatech #claire bennet #sylar x oc #angel before the fall

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deadcactuswalking · 5 years ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020: 10/01

So: REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020. We’ve got the second episode here, and we’ve already stagnated. Hey, I’m not complaining. It’s really boring and we’ve got nothing to talk about with the exception of the top five new arrival, but let’s agree that we’d really not want to talk about that one either. Here’s the top 10.

Top 10

Stormzy’s “Own It” featuring Burna Boy and Ed Sheeran is still at the top for its second week at #1. I can’t really see a threat to this as of yet, but we’ll see.

“Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi hasn’t moved at number-two, the runner-up spot. To be honest, I don’t see this hitting the #1 but the charts are pretty unpredictable right now, so I can’t decide as of yet.

Dua Lipa’s “Don’t Start Now” sticks at number-three. I doubt it’ll get there, but let’s hope this hits #1.

“ROXANNE” by Arizona Zervas is at number-four, the same from last week.

Now for our first and pretty much only headline here, “Yummy” by Justin Bieber, his new song that despite a massive promotional push, only debuted at number-five. You’d figure that Bieber would learn a lesson from Taylor Swift’s “ME!”, which is that pop veterans can’t just release Godawful singles and rely on name recognition anymore in the streaming era, at least enough for a #1. It’s his 45th Top 40 hit if I recall correctly (which is crazy), and about his 17th top 10, and somehow not his worst.

“Dance Monkey” by Tones and I is down one spot to number-six.

Surprisingly up a spot due to... well, seemingly no reason at all, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi has rebounded up eight spaces to number-seven. It’s been nearly a full freaking year since this song first charted and it won’t go away.

Sadly, due to “Yummy” and “Someone You Loved” rising, Billie Eilish’s “everything i wanted” is down two spots to number-eight but it could very much propel back up next week.

“Adore You” by Harry Styles is also a victim of the two songs, down two to number-nine.

Finally, we have a one-spot boost for “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd, which has reached #10, marking his ninth top 10 hit in the UK.

Climbers

There are actually a couple here, seemingly from “end-of-year UK hits” YouTube playlists? I don’t know; this happens often after the Christmas songs fade away because there are all of these playlists and different end-of-year commemorations. It would explain “Ride It” by Regard and “Bruises” by Lewis Capaldi both up 12 spaces to #11 and #12 respectively, as well as “Memories” by Maroon 5 up eight spots to #13, “Lose Control” by MEDUZA, Goodboys and Becky Hill up 16 spots to #31, “South of the Border” by Ed Sheeran featuring Camila Cabello and Cardi B up 15 positions to #17, and finally “Circles” by Post Malone up seven spaces to #19. It doesn’t exactly explain “The Box” by Roddy Ricch up 24 spots to #16 though.

Fallers

There are quite a few honestly pretty surprising and unexpected fallers here, once again because of end-of-year commemorations allowing songs from the past year to have some sort of artificial boost. This leaves actual upcoming hit songs pretty much in the dust, such as “Pump it Up” by Endor down eight spots to #14, “This is Real” by Jax Jones featuring Ella Henderson collapsing nine spaces to #18, “Lose You to Love Me” by Selena Gomez tripping down 10 spaces to #20 just to rebound next week because of the album, “My Oh My” by Camila Cabello featuring DaBaby, as well as “Falling” by Trevor Daniel, seemingly losing all of their momentums since they’re down eight and nine spaces respectively to #21 and #23. The same seems to apply for Stormzy and Harry Styles as they’ve had pretty bad weeks: “Audacity” featuring Headie One is down 10 to #26, “Vossi Bop” is down 12 to #24, while “Watermelon Sugar” is down 12 to #29, and “Lights Up” is down 14 to #32. “Don’t Rush” by Young T & Bugsey with Headie One is down 11 to #31, as is “Gangsta” by Darkoo and One Acen at #33. “Heartless” by the Weeknd is also struggling down 13 spaces to #38, which is unfortunate as the song has only grown on me since its debut. Oh, and “In the Unknown” by Idina Menzel and AURORA from the Frozen II soundtrack is down 18 spaces to #37. Yikes.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

The climbers and fallers aren’t the only result of the end-of-year commemorations though, as we do have returning songs straight from the end-of-year list (Which I have ranked and will post on my Twitter as soon as possible). Those are “HIGHEST IN THE ROOM” by Travis Scott and remixed by ROSALIA and Lil Baby back at #25, “I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran featuring Justin Bieber at #27, “Beautiful People” by Ed Sheeran featuring Khalid at #28, “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello at #30, “Ladbroke Grove” by AJ Tracey at #36, “Turn Me On” by Riton, Vula and Oliver Heldens at #39 and “Outnumbered” by Dermot Kennedy back at #40. That does mean a hefty list of drop-outs however, including “Lucid Dreams” by Juice WRLD out from #27, “River” by Ellie Goulding thankfully out from #28, “No Cellular Site” by D-Block Europe also thankfully out from #29... in fact, I’m not complaining about any of this really. I can’t be upset about “Better Half of Me” by Tom Walker out from #30, “hot girl bummer” by blackbear out from #35, or even “No Idea” by Don Toliver out from #39. “Netflix & Chill” by Fredo is out from #34, and unfortunately, J Hus had both of his singles from the forthcoming album drop out this week: “No Denying” is out off of the debut from #33, and “Must Be” is out from #37... and that’s all other than the new arrivals, so I’d like to note that despite momentum being slashed in half by all these returns, there are some songs within the UK Top 75 that are promising; not all of them are good, but you can expect these songs from the tail-end of the top 75 debuting in the coming weeks after a good rise, probably even next week: “Up All Night” by Khalid, “Say So” by Doja Cat, “BOP” by DaBaby, “Ballin’” by Mustard featuring Roddy Ricch, “Suicidal” by YNW Melly and “July” by Noah Cyrus. I figured I should start doing this. Now for the new arrivals:

NEW ARRIVALS

#35 – “Savage” – MIST

Produced by Swifta Beater and Zeph Ellis

MIST is back... I guess. I’ve never found MIST very interesting, well, musically – I saw the dude on a really awful ITV2 comedy panel show thing, and he was pretty charismatic, so I have no idea why that’s not present in his music whatsoever. This is his fourth UK Top 40 hit however, and “So High” with Fredo has grown on me a bit since its release, so I figured this could be somewhat interesting... and you know what, MIST might have won me over with this one. The chipmunk vocal samples are catchy and the beat coming in so abruptly after the first line is just perfect. MIST’s content isn’t exactly all that unique, but some of the description of him shooting this man is pretty specific and intimidating. The beat is heavy with plummeting 808s and a sporadic trap drum pattern, and the part in the first verse where after he mentions his gun, a sound effect (Of said gun) plays, and the next line is a pitch-shifted “Cabbage (Bang)”. It’s just really funny, and adds some needed humour to the otherwise pretty menacing song. In fact, all of the three verses in this very short song (2 minutes and 26 seconds) have a really intense delivery from MIST, who really surprised me with his angry cadences and overall emotive performance here. The production is great but the mixing is at times slightly dodgy, so the bass does start clipping, but that’s mostly during the chorus, which is a repetitive vocal sample that does sound good, but at first is somewhat jarring and the sample is way too quiet to work as an anthem. The first two verses follow a strict rhyme scheme that is limiting but MIST makes the most of it, calling himself a “Birmingham assassin”, which again is a comedic turn of phrase to depict something that’s genuinely very dangerous. The third verse does feel out of place but I’d like to say that the rejection of the rhyme scheme and a calmer flow represents him abandoning the “Gangsta all the time” mantra and ideology that runs through the track. It still could sound better if there was some kind of beat switch, and in some way it does make the song seem underdeveloped, especially since the song fades out, which is just a really odd decision that doesn’t fit the song’s mood at all. Still, it’s a good song, a surprising one at that, and definitely my favourite from MIST.

#5 – “Yummy” – Justin Bieber

Produced by Poo Bear, Kid Culture and Sasha Sitora

On January 3rd, Justin Bieber, one of the biggest pop stars of the millennium, a viral star who has been a polarising figure in music for 11 years straight due to legal issues and a tsunami of online hatred. He released the single alongside a music video and a trailer to promote his new documentary, that also was a trailer for the song and his tour. Bieber joined TikTok and encouraged his fans to make TikTok videos of the song, him doing so as well, raking up millions of views not only on the app but on YouTube compilations. Four days later, he released autographed cassettes, autographed picture discs, SIX unique autographed CDs and FIVE unique autographed vinyl records. They were only available for 24 hours. There were also FIVE additional music videos released other than the official music video upon release and the audio. If that wasn’t enough, Billie Eilish suddenly started promoting the song, and soon afterwards, Bieber posted on Instagram a fan-made image asking for his fans to manipulate streaming numbers and get a VPN if they are not in the US, proving that this isn’t just a promotional push, it’s the #1 that Bieber and Scooter Braun want; whether it’s because Braun wanted the #1 to undermine Taylor Swift or because it’s bragging rights and label politics, we don’t know. This meant it was ever so funny when “Yummy” by Justin Bieber debuted at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100, below a non-single without a music video, “The Box” by Roddy Ricch, celebrating its first week at #1 with a triumphant “err, ooh”. In fact, it’s never hit #1 in any country at all (As of yet). That’s just a beautiful moment when the entirety of the world unites to refuse streaming this garbage fuel of manufactured, plastic trash with headline-chasing references to Megan Thee Stallion and a falsetto from Bieber that’s as weak as ever. This is as out as touch as pop music could have possibly ever been in 2020. It’s a new decade but it seems like we’re regressing.

Conclusion

Yeah, it should be obvious that Worst of the Week is going to “Yummy” by Justin Bieber, but surprisingly, and also by default, MIST’s “Savage” takes Best of the Week. Good stuff; I hope it’s not a fluke. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank, I’ll see you next week.

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020

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