#//wish i had that drive for this tbh//
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//jack becoming a programmer all on his own with out proper schooling and taught himself everything is truly something else and the fact he got good enough to ace any programming interviewers hyperion threw at him that they hired him.//
#[headcanons]: classified information#//Man i talked about this before but man- as a inspiring computer scientists idk how he did it//#//but good for him//#//wish i had that drive for this tbh//#//anyway im sick today- sorry i havent been on much but college really grab me by the throat//
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It's all about Nagi living alone in a tiny one bedroom, one bathroom apartment with zero personality and Reo having a whole floor for himself but still living surrounded by tacky-expensive home decor with no apparent traces of his actual personality, either. It's all about how Nagi's parents haven't visited him in 2 years nor taken an interest in his life since, while Reo's are content to live floors apart from their teenage son, only taking an interest in what value he can bring to Mikage Corp but being otherwise uninvolved in / dismissive of his actual life. It's all about them being surrounded by people and still not knowing how to form a meaningful connection with another person before meeting each other. It's all about them being so starved for genuine human warmth to combat their bone-deep loneliness that they both treasure memories of tiny, inconsequential moments where they were spending time with their parents. Something something it's this line,
and how it describes them both despite being said about Reo. It's them being awkward 17-year-olds who had never before had an equal who would just respect them as they are and unconditionally look their way. In this essay I will-
#Blue lock#Blue lock spoilers#Mikage reo#Nagi seishirou#Bllk thoughts#This chapter was sooooo good#Gosh. Just as I was grumpy about epinagi getting boring without all the emotional deep dives that made it so interesting in the first place#They go and give us this bonus chapter. What a feast#I wish every month could be like this#This gave so much perspective to why they are the way they are#Most of it is not new information but I really loved all the foiling in this omake#Truly drives it home how both get their drive from their partnership bc they crave meaningful connections#Like. I had a whole post about how they're both each other first friend#And even then it couldn't have prepared me to the reveal of reo living in a whole ass empty skyscraper by himself#Did you also notice the distinct lack of soccer paraphernalia in his house or was that just me#Heck there isn't even a single soccer ball in sight...#And he calls Nagi's room void#Gosh they're both so fascinating#Of course they're bored out of their mind before meeting each other. Imagine being that understimulated and that lonely#I'm surprised they're this functional tbh. If anything they should be More mentally ill#I sure would lose it after a week at Reo's place#At least nagi owns mangas come on
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it’s funny how things have gone full circle with malenia. she was so hated when the game first came out, but then people grew to like her. then the dlc came out and now people hate her again lmao
#i mean it’s hardly surprising given what we now know#she did all that awful shit and wasn’t even charmed#like i see people talk about how stupid miquella is because of this plan to essentially trap radahn#but that also makes malenia look stupid af too#‘go to caelid and kill radahn so i can marry him’ ans she was like sure#miquella wanted the one guy in the lands between who loves war and fighting to be his consort for his age of peace and compassion…#what a genius he is.#makes me wonder why he even needs some heavy weight to keep order for him when he can just charm people into submission#was radahn just there as a ceremonial position?#oh wait i forgot miquella thinks he’s super kind so that’s why he wants him#miq learnt about the gravity magic horse thing and swooned#honestly still can’t get over how incredibly stupid the twins look after the dlc#i think people like to imagine malenia was charmed just because it makes it all look slightly better on her part#like they are just making excuses for her#but holy shit the fact she was all but willing to fucking die so miquella could bag radahn..#what a thing to die for lmao#and he was apparently present after the battle? but didn’t do anything to help either radahn nor malenia?#instead he was helping a random redmane?#he obviously knew malenia had bloomed but ultimately didn’t care i guess#kind of like ‘oh well if she’s still alive when I get back i’ll deal with it then’#honestly wish miquella had just died in that cocoon at this point#tbh he doesn’t really do much in the dlc anyway they could have made it more about messmer and marika#hell bring melina into it please that would have been more interesting at this point#we didn’t need the dubcon incest plot micheal you could have left that one in the drafts#i gotta get this out of my head it’s driving me nuts#seriously need to move on from this game for my own sanity
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i am so deeply emotional about sbk right now. how the hell does a server this good exist
#skyblock kingdoms#sbk#yt#txt#orig#it's like -- the good kind of heartache i guess?#i love hearing people talk about storytelling in the way sbkers talk about storytelling.#i wish more mcyt stuff had fansongs and avid is out here creating bangers i can put on my driving playlist without fear.#i love the way everyone interacts on the server <- currently losing it over milkman complaining abt cherry kingdom being hard to steal from#and it's just. wow. this is it. this is peak. i am so contented with what we have right now.#like there's things i'd love to see but. i can write those things if i really need them. i am overjoyed with what we have already.#i am maintagging this because i want people to see this. i am so full of joy right now. just. man. sbk makes me wanna Make Stuff#in so many different ways it's a little overwhelming tbh. i want to get back into making music. i want to learn how to shade metallics.#i want to write music with lyrics and i want to write fics with weird formatting and i want to do drawn-out meta analysis#i wanna make aus that are just snippets and vibes. i wanna SING i wanna COSPLAY i want charms and stuff i just. aaaAAAAAAA!!!!
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2023 Tumblr Top 10
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#villareal SWEEEEEEEEEEEEP#it's boring when there's cc i wish you could exclude tags so i could see only non cc posts#but this is the fall poster and first post in the top 10 good this is how it should be 🧘♂️#the first post is my favorite post of the year and among my favorites ever <3 maybe my second favorite#i can't share my favorite favorite from my old blog bc it'd be spoilers but i'm so reposting it the second i can#and i kinda think even vaguely describing it would be spoilers bc it may have already been referenced in the story. in a way#why did you all like those paranormal investigators so much though#if i had known i would have used srwe on the full body shots they're so low quality it drives me crazy tbh lmao
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10.20.2023 // gonna get bit by that thing
also bonus crop from the desktop wallpaper because i liked it, it made me happy 🥺
#illustration#original art#ocs#oc: ren#this felt like a bit of a slog to start up and get finished which pains me to say tbh because at the heart of it i enjoy this lad!!!#but i think the character was kind of in a weird resentful place in my heart for a bit#and as much as i wanted to whip up an oc card of the golden boy for myself i also. Did Not Want To At All.#other people wanted him included which was like. kind of the main driving force. glad they wanted one of him tho.#also ive just beennnnnnnnnnn not doing too hot both mentally and kind of physically so that may have played a part in not finishing this#normally i start tanking around march and reach my low point in may and things get better a little after that into january but no dice#it was just a lot easier to zone out and play video games than try to work on things even if it made me feel bad to do that#wish i could say things were getting better but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ✌️✨#anyway im going to probably lay down for a bit#literally or metaphorically idk#had a good rest over the weekend but i need like. at least thirty more rests of that caliber in a row i think.
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wailing at the sky I'm tired ! ! ! ! ! !
#just me hi#ik i'm testy rn and i should take a nap but ouuhhrrr#consistently on drives i've been just. dropping energy like nothing#like on the way to wherever i'm good i'm floating it's great. but then on the way back it's just. Bleugh kfshv#and then my legs get tired cuz i can't stretch !! i'm dyinggg out here#hate being tired. hate being sleepy. wish i could banish the neepy forever tbh#however the awesome embrace of sleep is pretty good so i guess it's a trade i'll have to be content with. sigh#wah. blah. bloo. ouhrr#//anyway let me tell you abt smth really nice now hfhvbsh :>#so i was just sitting down last night doing.. smth i don't rember lol and my youngest siblings come over like ':3 we have something for you#which is immediately suspicious and i was measuring the level of child-safe violence they were going to be subjected to lmao; but i asked#what it was and they handed me this little paper bag full of little bracelets and beads and hair clippies ????#and the bag said 'we appreciate your existence' And had oath's little symbol on the front dude are you KIDDING ME#if it wasn't for the fact i did not want to scare them i would have cried. it was very very sweet and i wish i wasn't so flat irl kfvshg#there were 2 bracelets n one of them says 'space buddy' (tears in funkin eyes) and the other one says 'pink space'#'pink space' has the 'ace' part highlighted Do You Understand What They've Done To Me#dude. dude. [<- big wet eyeballs staring at the horizon]#i need to like. hbwauhhhhhhhh#i love them so ??? i need to explode them asap lmfshvg#/anyway putting this here cuz i don't wanna forget kfhghfs#i don't think leo reads these tags so Lmaoo 💥 get 'Unknowing of Things'ed loser#//okey i'm gonna go melt into a puddle of ice cream now#oouuuu here i go... toodles lol :3
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~ ~ ~
#my dad is starting shit with me again and just continuing fights and bringing up shit that has nothing to do with anything#and even when I try to calm the situation he just gets worse and keeps berating me#I want to get out of the house but my partner hasn’t talked to me all day or even checked our message chat#so I don’t want to bother them or just show up without them saying it’s ok#not that they’d have much problem with it probably but if they don’t acknowledge it I don’t want to startle them or something#and idk what if they are mad at me and that’s why they haven’t talked to me today? or if they’re having a bad day too?#they’re not gonna want to deal with my bullshit if they’re not having a good day either#so that’s another problem to contend with#and I’m also really tired and fatigued already because of some recent health issues and just packing my go bag is wearing me out a bit#I don’t really want to pack up the whole car and drive an hour to their house after midnight when I’m already not doing great#so I know I should just stay in my room and get some distance or do my own thing until I fall asleep#but God I just don’t want to be here anymore#tbh I do kinda wanna be dead and I wish I could do something about that#idk if I’m fully suicidal or anything but it’s like… I want to make my dad see how much he needs me and I want to get a fucking break#I want someone to take care of me and worry about me for once instead of giving up everything to him#I wish I killed my self at 16 like I wanted to so I wouldn’t have ever had to deal with any of this bullshit#I sort of wish I could kill myself now just to be done with all of this#but suicide takes too much planning and hassle these days so what’s the point anyway#I guess I’m just depressed and lonely and all that#I’m sure I’ll be fine in the morning#but right now I just really wish I had someone to talk to and cry on and tell me it’ll all get better soon#personal
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it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy
#i follow this person cleo abrams on youtube and she's always talking so excitedly about scientists#and their amazing discoveries cool facts and she's so excited and starry eyed and hopeful#she genuinely just wants to educate people and has so much hope that we can make the world a better place#also like idk maybe unrelated but i saw the mv of new romantics and just. wow#say what you will about her but there's no doubt she's made an insane number of people happy SO HAPPY that they're crying#so many tours#idk i want#i wish my life was bigger#i feel so isolated and always just focusing on myself my career my health my enjoyment#what about everything everyone else#i keep trying to be completely okay with being alone i keep telling myself to not need anyone and be 100% independent#find happiness within hobbies interests#but it feels like a losing battle#i don't know i just. miss everyone 😭😭😭😭#but it hurts too much tbh always more sad than happy always more crying than laughing#i miss my bestfriend i don't know what i did wrong but she won't pick up my call she keeps saying she's busy#i don't want to be clingy because she hates that shit i don't want to drive her away but she's my only friend#i miss my fucking mom she doesn't care if i live or die obviously but i miss just having her presence in the house#and even tho my sister is here she's never fully present always on her laptop working#i wouldn't really say i miss my dad but wow it's been so long since mom and dad stayed together at home it was almost#always miserable but sometimes at the lunch table it was nice#i don't know everything and everyone is moving and changing so fast and i can't breathe under it and it's already september#but this entire year felt like a blur it's like everyone who left took a chunk of my heart with them#and i should be happy because im so close to the exam which will get me out of this house finally be financially independent#like i wanted since i was 11 i could finally start my life#but it all feels so. i don't know the whole future seems black like i can't imagine life past november 2025#how do you imagine happiness if you've never been happy?#and all these feelings are making it so hard to study and studying is so fucking important because if i don't ill be stuck here forever#and i don't want to go thru attempts fail and pass again atleast back then i had a reason first heartbreak‚ not getting to go to college#but what now why now i don't even understand i know objectively i do not have it that bad it's literally better even if i compare to my own
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I think a lot about how if I'd have been born like 200 years ago I would have been sent to the sea side and dosed with cocaine every day for my Mental Maladies but instead I'm walking around in 2024 and ppl are trying to make me feel like shit for not opting into hustle culture or convince me AI & crypto currency are the future...
#don't get me wrong. I'm thankful for my meds. like.... 100000000% thankful. tbh don't know I'd be shitposting on here today without em....#but my goddddddddddd I'm tired also#I don't want 6 jobs. I don't want to delivery drive all night. I don't want to turn shitty doodles into NFTs.#I take care of my disabled mother while also dealing with my own mental health deficiencies. I raised my brother. he still lives with me.#I'm Tired#I want to just take care of my mom and make cakes & desserts and for that to be enough. but it can't#because we devalue domestic work of any kind including care taking for the eldery/disabled#I mean my union has to FIGHT every few years to make sure we can KEEP our jobs#and it sucks cause... even if I lose my job.... I STILL have to take care of my mom so it's like 🤷♀️#I'm just Tired bro. so tired. I want my baking to work out so bad but I just... don't know. I know it won't net me gobs if money#I'm just so tired of living under this fuckin strain that is The American Dream USA number 1 woooo!#don't you dare ask to make a living wage!#and since I DO want this baking stuff to go well I KEEP practicing and it feels like.... meh.... I'm baking and baking and baking#I want it to be GOOD! but I'm taking my time! and not hustling and it just feels like idk. I'm going too slow#but I'm not.... I've been baking my whole life for free and everyone raved abt it. I want it to be STELLAR so I can make money#I'm just so fckn TIRED man. I wish I had like.... a crystal ball and I could just know if this was a good idea#erin explains it all
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This looks so fake to me I cannot believe this
I’ve got to say I’m not a fan, this feels more like a season 4 roster compared to a season 2 one. It’s way too early for M bison (considering he’s releasing in mere MONTHS), and while guest characters are AMAZING, the opportunity cost is too great to justify having two in one season. I’m sure Mai’s great but I just don’t see why she should be here, especially since there’s apparently a half a year gap between her and Elena.
The only two characters I’m truly happy for are Terry and Elena. I’m a smash fan so Terry is great, and honestly any sf3 character would be fantastic, even if Elena isn’t really in it he top half of my most wanted sf3 characters (especially considering she’ll be the ONLY one).
IMO, this season should’ve been advertised as Twelve, Terry, Elena, Q, have the Laboratory hint towards twelve instead, but then have a surprise drop of Bison in between Elena and Q. That would be my dream. Q is the weak link here I admit, Urien or Makoto are probably more deserving, but I don’t see Urien in without Gill (so I’m guessing they’ll be season 3 or 4) and I don’t really know much about Makoto, I know she’s a fan favourite but idk, sorry.
Overall I’m very mixed. Terry and Streey fighter 3 rep is INCREDIBLE, but Bison, multiple guest characters, and a massive gap between characters leave a poor taste in my mouth. Maybe they’ll take my advice and shadow drop my main man Q in between Elena and Mai, who knows.
#at least Akuma has his best buddy back#I know that I know nothing about Mai and she’s probably a fan favourite#but her inclusion feels nonsensical to me#is she just as much a face of the franchise as Terry? Sakurai even had to explain why she wouldn’t be in smash#really wish they held off on her till season 3 at least#god Q would be so much fun with the drive system#I love street fighter 3 character designs man I’m happy even one got in but we were robbed tbh#text post#randyposting#street fighter#street fighter 6
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trying to start working on my ap art summer work (put it off all summer and now theres. 10 days left until school starts apperently) i hateeeee how vague everything is ugh
#i forgot how much of a nightmare this teacher is to work with she just. never specifies enough and it drives me insane#<- ive had her multiple years now idk why she even let me take the ap class considering when i had her freshman year i literally didnt do a#single assignment for that class but i wont complain i guess lol#though tbh.. im not really sure why im even taking it i mean my friend said i should#but idk#man i dont know what to do though like#i brought this upon myself but still. why does this all have to be so vague#also i need like a themeing… i dont know man!!!!!!!!!!!!! im the most indecisive person on the planet and i never plan out pieces most of#the time. i just get rhe urge to Draw Character In Void and figure it out from there#if i start to working on a sketch… im just gonna keep working on it until i finish????#i wish i could do animation or smth. for my pieces i feel like that would backfire on me but like#itd work better within the structure she wants us to follow i think……… then again all i animate is jsut#stupid little loops or like. dumb stuff set to songs or goofy audios#idfk#inquisitivewaltz.txt#also also i have no idea if im allowed to do my summer work digitally#but im doing it that way anyways cuz it gives me more options (and i feel liek ill figure out smthn i like the look of more easily than#traditional since im just not the greatest with that..#plus i dont have any empty sketchbooks to dedicate to this class and i cant just buy one now yknow
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Tron is such a fun movie man
#i'm rewatching it again after quite a few years#i'm having a blast#i wish legacy had been good#society if heteronormativity hadn't demanded two hot shippable actors in that movie#i love both movie's look though tbh#the original is so charming in its oldass effects#the pyjama costumes drive me onsane#and legacy from what i remeber is fun with the sleek reworked look#we do need more video games though with the original#kingdom hearts 2 my beloved
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they should build a theme park for me that's just regular society except everything is scaled down so that i am the default human that things are designed around and everyone else gets to hit their head and not fit
#one time i saw a very short man (like 4ft) who had a custom tiny car built just for him on the highway... im jealous#tbh if cars weren't so big I'd probably feel more inclined to learn to drive#the one time i drove a car (for like 5 mins in a parking lot) i was baffled at how oversized it all felt like it genuinely felt unsafe#yeah i wish i could go into stores and buy clothes too :'(#coping and seething...#oh but i get a good deal on food because 1 meal for Americans is like 2-3 for me <:)#im jsut sick of stuff at work being genuinely hazardous for me and them not being able to do anything about it bc smaller sizes dont exist#my posts
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last grief vent post lads
#i wish there was someone to blame. i mean there Is but it wasnt really her fault so i cant blame her really.#a driver had dementia and somehow slipped away from her caretakers and got on the road with her car and now my friend is dead#and there's nobody to blame for it. shit happens. she didnt know what she was doing. i know that she didn't mean to.#but the fact is that she got in her car that day when she shouldnt have and now a 20 year old girl with her whole life ahead of her is dead#and i am not gonna lie guys. im fucking pissed.#its unfair. its so fucking unfair.#but its also unfair for me to point fingers when it wasnt really that driver's fault.#she doesnt even remember causing the accident. she doesnt know where her injuries came from.#and i KNOW what dementia is i KNOW that thats part of it and it isnt her fault at all#but im really angry. not even necessarily specifically at the driver tbh just . angry#but. the funeral is over. so i think ill be ok from now on.#there was a beautiful sunset while i was driving home today. it was pink and orange#pink sunsets were her favorite. it was beautiful to see one today.#winter speaks#grief tag#tw death#tw car accident
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Pregnant femme boyfriend and hot butch girlfriend feel like they’d be the protagonists in the single greatest rom-com ever written
no listen their plot is literally “I’m a werewolf and I got my next door neighbor pregnant while transformed (and I kind of have a crush on him???)” it’s actually my best shit yet
#I would pay so much money to manifest a whole long comic about them#I wish I had the time/drive/etc to make one tbh but I shan’t#I just fucking love the idea of falling in love with someone who’s already pregnant with your children#And also the idea that a whole ass werewolf can come onto this guy and he’s like “Aw fuck yeah”#ask#asks#Wait did I already explain this plot. I may have. Apologies I have the memory of a concussed goldfish
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