#//this is written to not age well at all LOOOOOL

[musesby-rach]

aria: 1, 3, 4, 5, 8, 13, 15, 16, 21, 22, 24, 27, 30, 32, 33, 37, 40, 51, 54, 57, 62, 67

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

My relationship is strictly ok with my parents. A couple years ago it was really bad, like we were not on speaking terms and it all stemmed from the disaster that i called my last relationship. NOW we’re jsut starting to  I feel like we’re starting to all recover from it and things are a lot better. 

03: Do you regret anything?

maybe staying in my last relationship as long as i did.

hindsights 2020 i guess lol 

04: Are you insecure?

I’d like to think not? But everyone has their moments, I suppose. 

05: What is your relationship status?

I wrote and rewrote this a thousand times LOL 

i like him, pretty sure he likes me. i’m not seeing anyone else. nothing’s “ facebook official” (bc like, who uses facebook lol) but like...idk i like to think i’m dating him. 

08: Played any sports?

when i was a kid i did gymnastics? and in high school i did cheerleading for like a year?  

i work out like 6 days a week???

am i athletic????

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

i like to say i don’t hate anyone

but you know, when someone causes your whole life to fall apart you kinda gotta have some malice for them. no shade (all shade), just tea (all tea). 

15: Have any pets?

i want a pet soooo bad

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

i’m pretty good, kinda tired

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

might hang out with vice, might go to the bar. probably both lol 

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

i want to when i have a stable relationship that i know isn’t a sinking ship. i’m not willing to have more than 2 though. i hear pregnancy just wrecks your body and i worked way too hard for something to mess it up for me LOL 

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

math for some reason. 

thank god i know pythagorean theorem am i rite 

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

100% 

30: What’s irritating you right now?

I really want fruit but i dont have any. I really want cereal but i don’t have milk. i want to eat but basically don’t have anything to make a meal with. 

aka i’m irresponsible and don’t have food because i waited too long to grocery shop and now i have to order food. 

32: What is your favourite color?

wine red 

33: Do you have trust issues?

trust issues are a rite of passage growing up. 

if you grew up and didn’t have any TELL US YOUR SECRETS 

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

both are absolutely impossible. i just try to forget about it/pretend it doesn’t exist. i just hope by forgetting it doesn’t allow the same thing to happen over and over. 

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

yup. skinny dipping and the like. 

51: Favourite food?

burgersssssss. 

54: Is cheating ever okay?

generally...no because i don’t want it ever done to me. it’s a giant breech of trust and it’s really hard to recover from that. and i can’t imagine staying around when someone could so easily leave me and go to someone else then just COME BACK. 

on TV i totally get it but IRL, don’t touch me w/ that. 

57: Do you believe in true love?

i want to. i really really want to. i used to believe in it a few years ago and i want to get back to that feeling. 

right now i’m just not fully convinced...but it’s possible, maybe. 

62: What makes you happy?

vice, good food, good people. 

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

vice probably? 

[ooops-i-arted]

Do you have any child development thoughts on the latest episode of the Book of Boba Fett? How do you rate Luke's teaching style?

@aspiringwarriorlibrarian said: I was waiting for your take on this because the instant I saw this I was like ‘has nobody in this show ever interacted with a baby’ and I like having the science back me up on it. WHY ARE YOU GIVING SHARP OBJECTS TO A LITERAL TODDLER LUKE? WHY?

LOOOOOL I was mentally drafting a child development post while watching the episode, I wondered if anyone would ask me anything! Let me see if I can organize my thoughts.

Tl;dr answer: No, it doesn't get my stamp of approval, but in a "I believe Luke would actually be a good teacher, he's just hindered by bad writing and How Teaching Is Typically Portrayed In The Media."

First off, no, I bet none of the showrunners have had to like, actually truly teach. Idk their family status but they run a high-demand job, they probably aren't primary caregivers to young children. I don't mean this to drag them at all, to be clear, just to say it's a different perspective when you're in a position to be in charge of kids like that for an extended time every day. So Luke's teaching is written by an outsider writing what they think a teacher would be doing (and what we do isn't always particularly glamorous/photogenic/good for storytelling) so it's really just like... highlights of what they think Jedi training might be like. (Also, most of it was CLEARLY supposed to be Callbacks To Other Things, not a thought-out lesson plan or anything.)

If you're new here, I teach preschool. I actually teach for a program meant to help lower-income students, so what I really do all day isn't usually letters and numbers and pointing at a chalkboard or whatever teachers do in media. My main focus is social-emotional skills, because that's what young children need. They can learn academics later, but not if they haven't learned how to sit at a carpet and listen to someone and respect their peers. This is where you get the "well they just play all day" thing, because they are, but children that age learn through play. You see a child stacking blocks, I see motor control, hand-eye coordination, etc and if they're with a friend learning sharing, teamwork, so on. Those are what I'm focused on, not the traditional academics you think of in elementary school on. The most important thing for Grogu right now isn't dodging laser blasts or handling a lightsaber, it's self-control. More so because he has the power to harm people if he doesn't have that skill.

Luke seems to be missing the mark with teaching Grogu emotional control. Grogu tries to eat a frog during meditation, so okay, he's hungry and distracted. Instead of getting Grogu a snack or taking a break, Luke lifts up all the frogs to show off?? What was the point? (It seemed ooc for Luke to torment the frogs anyway. Why didn't he say "We're here to feel the living Force. If you're hungry, let's get some food back at camp instead" and serve him rations or something.) Luke helps Grogu remember an Easter egg Order 66 flashback, but there's no reason why. Was Grogu still struggling with trauma? Then why didn't Luke talk him through it, help him face the memory before actually doing the trip down memory lane? Was Luke curious to know more about the original Jedi Order? In that case, why was he having Grogu remember instead of talking to him (which we know they can do) or asking Ahsoka instead? It's just "I'll teach you to protect yourself" but no in-depth acknowledgment of Grogu's fears, or Luke empathizing with him or connecting with him by maybe talking about his own fears, or reassuring Grogu that he is safe here and that won't happen again (sequels aside). A huge part of teaching is connecting with your students; a student that trusts you is going to learn much better from you when they know you genuinely care about them and have their best interests at heart. I wish we had seen more of Luke empathizing and connecting with Grogu. A conversation about their fathers would've been great, and more meaningful than just watching Grogu do Stereotypical Jedi Training Things.

Of course that's not to say other aspects are important. I've talked before about how Grogu needs motor development! An obstacle course is great fun and will promote those gross motor skills. The baby being stung with a laser? 100% inappropriate!! Grogu is a fresh recruit, and he's little! He needs positive reinforcement, not pain. Save the Easter egg laser ball for when he's older and training with a lightsaber. (But the real problem is in the writing. The ball is there to be an Easter egg, no other reason.) Also, Luke doesn't even explain the activity! He doesn't say "You're going to dodge these blasts to practice your reflexes" he just lets Grogu get zinged! If I started a dodgeball game by just throwing a ball directly in a child's face I'd get written up!

(That said we now know the real reason Din couldn't see Grogu, because he'd blast that thing in a heartbeat and then stage parent his way through Grogu's training. God, he'd be the woooooorst lmfao. He'd definitely be one of those well-meaning-but-misguided parents who tries to over-direct every action of their child's in the name of helping them learn, when the real way they learn is doing it themselves.)

On the other hand, I maintain what I said in my other post: how much worse do you think Grogu would feel knowing Din stopped by and didn't see him than if he did see Din and was conflicted? He didn't hear that conversation. He just knows Dad came by and left without seeing him. It had to break his heart. And Luke just goes straight into a jumping lesson. This needs to be talked about. Kids don't always have the language to express their feelings and need that guidance to experience and manage them. And missing a parent is perfectly normal! Of course Grogu misses Dad and is having a hard time adjusting! This should be a time to pause and talk about his feelings, acknowledge them, and Luke reminding him "It's okay to miss your dad. You're here to learn about the Jedi and it's important. Let's take a break and when you're feeling better, we can do some training again." This also would've been a great time for Luke and Grogu to bond over Feelings About Their Dads. (Again, it's Filoni's bad writing about the Jedi + attachments that's rearing its ugly head. There's no reason to assume Jedi kids were just yoinked without any sort of transition. TCW's episode about Cad Bane and the Jedi kids strongly implies parents were prepared and there was a transition period.)

I've seen a lot of upset over the choice at the end and I agree it's dumb af. Like I said in my other post, it's just not appropriate; Grogu has barely been trained (twice) but he's also chosen the life of a Jedi (twice; we don't know the circumstances the first time but the choice to be a Jedi is shown in canon, parents can choose whether their kids go, and even Ahsoka's TCW scene with Plo Koon shows her willingly taking his hand, implying that she freely chose to join the Jedi, as much as she could make that choice at a young age - which also can be handwaved in canon with The Force Told Them This Was Their Path). We've just seen Grogu do some Generic Easter Egg Filled Jedi Training with Luke while Luke himself is still adapting to the role of teacher; it's really too early for Grogu to make a true choice. It just seems OOC for Luke to force this choice anyway? Luke of all people knows the strength of healthy attachments so why is he forcing the no attachments narrative now? Bare minimum why didn't Luke empathize with Grogu by saying "It was a hard decision to leave my sister and friends, but I believe it's important to be here, training you. I understand you have conflicted feelings, and I want to help you find your path." This should've been a scene of the two connecting and communicating, not Luke forcing a sudden choice (when we already saw Grogu make this choice in the season 2 finale!!). I've seen speculation that Luke was just testing Grogu to see his true feelings and go from there, but I'm still just like. He's a little kid. This is new and big and A Lot. They should be talking about it. But I guess that doesn't make an exciting cliffhanger.

Anyway I guess what I'm trying to ramble out is we should've had training scenes about actual, meaningful connection between student and teacher instead of Easter Eggs. Because Luke is a kind and caring person who saves people with his healthy love and attachment (after Anakin destroyed people with his unhealthy, possessive love and attachment). So he of all people should be able to understand and guide Grogu through this huge transition, and a character development opportunity was missed in favor of the cameo and Easter egg parade.

Edit to add OF COURSE A DEADLY WEAPON LIKE A LIGHTSABER IS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE FOR GROGU, WHAT ARE YOU DOING LUKE.  It was so obvious I forgot to actually say it lmao.

[star-anise]

I saw a post somewhere that mentioned you read a lot of books about the history of sailing. Do you have any recommendations? It sounds like an interesting topic but I don’t know where to start.

Loooool, this is like the fourth question I’ve gotten like this. EVERYONE wants to get into sea travel! Is it Terror? Is everyone trying to get onboard the Terror ship? (ho ho, I’m so clever) I personally do not understand the appeal, since my childhood social studies books were full of creepy illustrations emaciated sailors with enormous beards gnawing on their crewmates’ bones while the Inuit watching from the shore were like, “SURELY this is the most fucked-up thing we will ever see white people do. Right? RIGHT?!” (Spoiler: IT WAS NOT) but, yanno, it takes all kinds.

I don’t know if I’m the best person to ask for recs! Despite being 1000km from the nearest ocean, I grew up in a sailing family, going away in the summer to sailing camp and reading kids’ books about vikings and pirates and voyagers. As well as the Canadian public school education, which was very big on European maritime exploration. So I’ll try! I do tend to read historical fiction to get an individual perspective on events, and then spend lots of time diving into historical research like “Was nutmeg really that hard to get” and “what happened to Mauritius between 1806 and now”.

This is all TERRIBLY Eurocentric and honestly that’s a bit frustrating to me. Books about sea voyages written in English tend to be written by British men with beards they’re well proud of and carefully nurtured pipes who are very romantic about “the way of the sea” and very short on postcolonial analysis, so despite the fact that Europeans literally SHARE A SMALL SEA with Africa and Asia, there’s precious little use of Asian or African sources, and I’m just dying here, like, could you guys just check what contemporary Arabic accounts look like for this, pleeeeeaaaaase, and on that count I could use some recs.

So to ME, the first adult nonfiction book that felt genuinely interesting was Longitude: The True Story of a Lone Genius Who Solved the Greatest Scientific Problem of His Time by Dava Sobel. Which is a SUPER NERDY BOOK. 

And the book that primed my interest for that kind of nerdery is a deeply problematic novel, Orson Scott Card’s Pastwatch: The Redemption of Christopher Columbus. It was written as its author’s career just teetering on the brink between “deeply religious but principled man who writes thought-provoking science fiction” and “raving xenophobic nutjob” and kind of feels like he started writing it in one camp and ended up writing it in the other (there’s a character storyline that just didn’t make sense to me until I was like, “Oh right, the author is an Islamophobe”). So ON THE ONE HAND, it’s the book that really vividly illustrated, to me, the moment when Europe’s maritime traditions all pivot away from trade in the Mediterranean and into the Atlantic, which is a pretty abrupt change in the late 1400s for very specific reasons, and the enormous technical difficulty involved in making the Atlantic crossing. ON THE OTHER HAND, it’s a Mormon man trying to make his religion (which tries to say Christianity is indigenous to the Americas and that powerful white men are good) okay through the magic of handwavium and time travel. So like. You’ll learn useful things about the history of sea travel! But at what cost.

The books you probably ACTUALLY want are Patrick O’Brian’s Master and Commander books, which are a hugelong series of books about a pair of BFFs in the Napoleonic wars (1800-1815): Jack Aubrey, a bluff, hale, hearty man in His Majesty’s Navy who is very shrewd about the firing of cannons and cutting of jibs and not much else in life, and Stephen Maturin, an Irish-Catalan doctor who, embittered after every revolution he’s been part of has been brutally suppressed and/or betrayed, has turned to spycraft, laudanum, unrequited love, and keeping Jack Aubrey alive. THERE IS LOTS OF GOOD SHIP STUFF IN THERE. You learn all about charts and navigation and the constant re-rigging of sails and the Antarctic!  And it’s all deeply subtextually queer, a subtext that has been well-plumbed by generations of slash writers. If you’re into that kind of stuff.

The notable bit of European history I HAVEN’T read excessively on is the actual “Golden Age of Piracy”, 1650-1720, which is when you had Blackbeard and Captain Kidd and Anne Bonny and Mary Read. I dunno, I just… never got interested in it. But my friends who all recced Master and Commander to me seem to all be in Black Sails fandom now (it’s a TV show with lots of POC and LGBTQ+ rep) so uh, that might be worth a look too.

[sixmorningsafter]

15 Review

I didn’t know how to start this review. Then you posted your character trailer and I was struck by how much this fic has evolved from the original 2-minute trailer. It started out as a fluffy rom com type fic and now it is a story of depth, of feeling and of growth. Sure, your humour balances out the angst, but what blows me away is the affection all your readers have for your characters even if the canon version leaves them cold. There are still times when I want to smack them around the head for being dumb (quite a lot in this chapter!), but I am still rooting so hard for all 4 of them to get a HEA (actually 5 including Kai).

Ahhhhh, Janet, my sun and stars! Sorry for taking a bit to reply to this - I was trying to get 16 cranked out (lmao as you well know) and I was putting off delving back into my asks until I did. Now that the chapter’s up and kind of terrifyingly out there, I can finally get to answering this glorious, lovely review, and I’m going to start with getting real emotional over everything you said about the fic’s development. I think I’ve mentioned it a few times, but I’ve always been aiming for a kind of Breakfast Club effect with this story where it starts out with a bunch of surface-level stereotypes for characters, gets them stuck somewhere, and then uses that idle time to dig past the labels and see what makes them human. Obviously SMA has gone way off the rails and is way more shippy and tropey than TBC, lmao, but it makes me so happy to hear that you feel like it’s transcended the raunchy romcom premise. It’s been a gradual but deliberate effort on my end and it gives me hella feels to know it’s working.

Can I just say how much I love the fact you started and ended it with Stefan’s POV? That end scene where he can’t help but be a little bit Nicholas Sparks (Stefan “King of Cheese” Salvatore knows who he is, but not Sia ha ha) and Caroline surprises him with the hot chocolate – aww. I also adored Ms Cuddles and Caroline having a ‘chat’ about Stefan – that was a really beautiful note, the parallel of Caroline softening towards both the cat and Stefan. In fact, the cat is basically a metaphor for Stefan, right? Caroline’s reaction annoyed me initially, I can’t lie, but her gradual rationalisation of her behaviour was really interesting and her thoughts on how it affected Stefan showed her to be compassionate and sweet. An interesting point was that Stefan felt that he lost control completely of the sex, intimacy situation, whereas Caroline describes him as ‘always having one foot on the floor, checking in’ – I’m not sure why I liked that so much, but I did. I love the tease for chapter 16 where these idiots actually talk to each other. There’s a line where Stefan talks (in his head) about him (or indeed anyone) not being worth that much angst and about watching her flicker from afar, both of which I loved because it showed just what a caring chap Stefan is.

Italicized the bit above because I’m so happy you caught that! It was one of those dissonant things I tried to sneak in to remind people that literally no one’s narration in this fic is objective, you know? Like Stefan’s sitting there feeling lowkey guilty because there was a moment he knew he probably should’ve pulled back but didn’t, and then later on Caroline’s thinking about how safe she felt because he never seemed to lose himself completely. I think on a backstory note, too, it gives a some indirect insight into Maroline and just how out of control Matt could get that by comparison, Stefan losing control felt like total safety to her. 

ANYWAY, that bit aside (I love how you catch those little things, btw), cat’s totally a metaphor for Stefan. To me anyway. I don’t think Stefan directly intended the parallel but this cheesy af author did 👍 And yeah, at their core, Caroline and Stefan are both giant cheese balls who are just trying to figure out what to do with their abundance of scary feelings. I think it’s good that Caroline’s reaction annoyed you, tbh, because it was supposed to be a last straw kind of thing. Not necessarily even for Stefan, but just for her. She gets sick of her own shit, which you probably get more of a sense for in 16 than 15. It’s kind of her breaking point. She’s like ‘holy shit enough this is exhausting’. So I think it’s good for you, as the reader, to also be exhausted with her, because she’s pretty much feeling the same way. 

(Aside: jeez the way you wrote the Steroline sex scene was perfect, not graphic or squirmy, but really hot. I now can’t wait to see what you do with Bamon! Things gonna get weird – I know it!)

I literally just figured out how Bamon’s going to go down (like locked it down in my head) and honestly. Weirdly feelsy. But also very hot and them, I think. Bonnie’s profession might factor in. But gah, thanks so much for the feedback on the SC scene! That was like my first time writing a sex scene in a fic (not because I’m anti-sex scene I just usually don’t make it that far in, looooool) so I’m so glad it wasn’t a disaster!

The ship stuff is great in this chapter, but I thought I was going to miss the friendship stuff. I didn’t because of all the cute references to the friendships that you put in. Damon doing his lovesick idiot impression AKA imitating Stefan – LOL! Damon referring to Stefan taking Bonnie to court for flamingo hate crimes - I nearly died at that little exchange. I also liked the parallel of Bonnie telling Damon about the Stefonnie V-day standoff (“yellow sucks and you’re a bad friend” WTF Bonnie? Baby love sick puppy Stefan - priceless) and Steroline chatting about Bonnie’s insane diet as a way of bonding (Stefan’s a feeder, his go-to strategy to smooth things over = food, head canon this was his major way of coping with his sisters and Bonnie’s mood swings). Bonnie is like the lynch pin in this fic and I bloody love it. The parallel of Caroline and Bonnie trying to get over Stefan and Damon by using extreme physical contact as a method of desensitisation. LOL like that was ever going to work - dumbos!

Aren’t they the stupidest human beings, though? Like do you understand how often I write literally any part of this fic and have to stop, stare the screen, and go ‘WHY ARE YOU ALL SO DUMB’. Like yeah, Caroline, riding Stefan in the middle of a dark living room till neither of you can think straight is definitely going to make you less into him. Obviously. How could that backfire? Yeah Bonnie, dragging a flirty Damon to a tiny little stairwell to bitch at him is obviously not going to lead to anything you don’t want happening. How could it? It’s so foolproof? They’re stupid. Anyway, lmao, love love love that all the brotp references could keep you afloat with the friendships this chapter, and love all the parallels you picked up on. I’m not going to lie, I miss writing ensemble scenes so friggin’ much, to the point where I’m a little sad 16 had to get split before I hit the group bits, but I can’t wait to get back to that. I can’t wait to get back to crowded mornings and furtive looks and smug comments and chaotic bursts of activity - it always happens whenever I have long night time scenes. I’m like ready for the reset of a new, bustling morning, and a large part of it is because of the brotp potential, so I’m super happy that part’s important to you, too!

Now for Kai. His cyber stalking, 6 ovens and secret room made me laugh in a somewhat anxious way, although I too aim for my Christmas decorations to involve a miniature train set up #lifegoals #weareallalittlebitkai. I get that Bonnie was terrified, trapped with a knife 2 inches from her face. She still slipped into her compassionate self because that is who Bonnie is at her core. This girl is a damn hero. I can totally see how down the line these 2 end up being ‘friends’ with the other 3 being dragged into this friendship group, kicking and screaming, although I caught Damon being friendly with him already. I’m really interested to see how the Stefan-Kai dynamic works out. I felt bad for him going off swan hunting in a blizzard and perplexed because it’s going to take ages to pluck and roast a new swan – Bamon are trapped lol.

Loooool, Kai, my little lunatic son. He means well? Kind of. I think he just doesn’t always know what ‘well’ is. And yep, Bonnie’s compassionate streak flares hard and often, and it’s already showing for Kai, although if you’ve read 16 it turns out that Damon actually ends up being the surprise Kai bestie. Honestly, Kai thinks they’re both great and has very enthusiastic and occasionally frightening ways of showing it, lmao. And HAHA, you know, Kai x Stefan is probably the only dynamic I haven’t nailed down? Largely because my instinct is to have Kai think he’s shady/get an inexplicably bad vibe from him (because COME ON HOW FUNNY IS THAT), and I feel like Stefan’s constantly getting the short end of the stick with these people, but lmao, who knows. I might do it anyway. It’s hard to resist the hilarity of Murdery McSwankiller Kai finding Stefan of all people suspicious. They’ll probably bond over cooking, though.

Hands down my favourite part is Damon’s panic attack, the way you wrote it – wow, so good. I have never had a panic attack and after reading that I was so glad that I hadn’t. It basically cracked open Damon’s life a little, let us in on his dark past. I have only waited 15 chapters for this (see every review of this fic I have ever written lol – god I’m so boring, sorry). When they were first trapped in the basement and Bonnie was quizzing him without mercy, I felt so bad for him.  I loved that she picked up on the panic attack and tried a softer approach and the connection that it sparked. I love their physical attraction (I want them to kiss every time they get within about 6 foot of each other, I have no idea how Bonnie copes!), their verbal sparring and Damon’s protectiveness towards Bonnie, but Damon being vulnerable and letting her in (even if he didn’t want to) was like the final piece in a jigsaw puzzle and at the same time, the beginning of something really beautiful. I really want to see more from him next chapter, his embarrassment is already palpable in the preview vid and I’m so psyched about vulnerable Damon. I hope we find out more about why he was in Chicago. Is that likely?

Ahhhhhh, girl, all of this has me so, so starry-eyed, like I’m so happy to hear this scene worked so well for you. I always get super nervous when I’m writing something sensitive that I’ve never gone through myself, and I try to do a bunch of research and read about peoples’ experiences and see what different accounts have in common to get to the core of it, but it’s still always a bit of a gamble. Not even in the sense of getting the symptoms and stuff right, because that’s just following a list, but more so capturing the gravity of it, not making it some melodramatic trivialized thing that robs it of weight, you know? That’s what I was the most worried about, so reading this review is just so, so wonderful, because it seems like you really felt everything I was trying to capture. Love love love your analysis of Bamon and their progression so far, and your note about how it felt like both the final piece of something and the beginning of something else. I think that’s such a great way to put it. You spend a fair bit of time in Damon’s head in 16, and it’s safe to say his whole breezy facade is cracked, but the vulnerability is definitely there. And as for the new beginning you mentioned in 15, I think what that ends up being in 16 is that trust is starting to build. He’s trying to avoid it at first, but it’s there and it’s growing, and in 17 (what was supposed to be 16, lmao), you’ll see the first moment where Damon actually volunteers information about himself. He isn’t asked, he isn’t panicking, he just finally gets to the point where he wants to talk about things, Chicago, etc. So I think it’s 100% likely that you’ll hear more about what happened there, and in an added bonus, it won’t all be from his mental narration! He’s going to bring it up. It’s comin’!

Edit: Having seen your posts, I have now seen that the next chapter will have Baroline friendship scenes and more Stefan back story – OMG yay so up for this! Also we need more about Stefan and the girl that cried after having sex with him (or was it the other way around?).

Hahaha literally BOTH of those things got lost in the split, I’m afraid. But they’re definitely coming! And lmaaaaaoooooo, in the fic, Stefan made a girl cry once, but I honestly wouldn’t put post-sex crying past him. Oh, Stefan, my precious emotional son.

Anyway, thanks so, so much for this glorious review, babe. As always, it was insightful and eloquent af and I’m crazy humbled to have readers like you. <3

[l0rna-wh0re]

you can tell I'm bored by doing all these myself

1. Are looks important in a relationship? they're not important but always a bonus. 2. Are relationships ever worth it? Unless they're abusive and you're feeling unloved, yes. 3. Are you a virgin? No 4. Are you in a relationship? I am. 5. Are you in love? So much so asdfghjkl. 6. Are you single this year? Nope. 7. Can you commit to one person? Of course. 8. Describe your crush He's tall, ginger, green eyed, had the most gorgeous smile, he has a nice body, he has tattoos, a goatee. he's got a dark but great sense of humour, he's supportive, he's honest, he's quite forward, selfless, he's just perfect ok. 9. Describe your perfect mate mate? you're making me feel like a wild animal. 10. Do you believe in love at first sight? I wouldn't say love, but you can definitely be attracted on sight. 11. Do you ever want to get married? I think one day. 12. Do you forgive betrayal? It depends. 13. Do you get jealous easily? I do. 14. Do you have a crush on anyone? My boyfriend. 15. Do you have any piercings? I have one lip piercing, a nose ring and a 14mm tunnel. 16. Do you have any tattoos? I have four. 17. Do you like kissing in public? I don't mind. 20. Do you shower every day? It's usually every other day but if I'm feeling disgusting I'll shower whatever day. 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? I should hope so! 22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Nah, he's asleep. 23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Of course. 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Probably not. 25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? I am already. 26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yep. 27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? Nope. 28. Have you ever been cheated on? A few times. 29. Have you ever cheated on someone? I haven't. 30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? I used to want a boob job. 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? Too many times. 32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Oh yes. 33. Have you ever had sex with a man? Yeah. 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? Yeah. 35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yup. 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? Yeah, never ends well. 37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Oh yes. 38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yeah. 39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Years ago, yeah. But now I have him ❤ 40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? I have. 41. Have you had sex so far this year? Quite a lot lol. 42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Quite a while tbh. 43. How long was your longest relationship? 2 and a half years. 44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? Oh god. Including brief relationships that weren't serious? 22. 45. How many people did you kiss in 2011? 2. 46. How many times did you have sex last year? Oh god, probably about 3 times up until October. After October, lost count haha. 47. How old are you? 24. 48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? I don't even wanna think about that. 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? There's so many things though. The fact he can make me feel happy and safe in an instant. 50. If your first love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? looool no. 51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? My daughter and my boyfriend. 52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? Too many people. 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? A fair few loooool. 54. Is there someone you will never forget? Of course. 55. Share a relationship story. I have done before, about how I met my boyfriend and how we got together. It's a long story. 56. State 8 facts about your body Erm. I'm 5'3, I have dimples on my lower back, I have a few scars, I have small boobs lol, I have lots of beauty marks, I have 4 tattoos, I have had 7 piercings in my lifetime, I have a dent in my skull from when I had a brick thrown at it. 57. Things you want to say to an ex Omfg so much... I hate you, I wish I never met you, but if I didn't meet you I wouldn't have my little girl. You're a fucking mess and I hate what you did to me. 58. What are five ways to win your heart? I don't know? 59. What do you look like? Like crap most days. 60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? I think it was 5 years. 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? It's usually something like their hair, and then their attitude. 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Hm. I'm actually not sure. 63. What is your definition of “having sex”? Do I look like a sex ed teacher? If you don't know what sex is you're too young for this site. 64. What is your definition of cheating? Purposely flirting with someone else, swapping nudes or asking for nudes, kissing, sexual contact/oral sex/foreplay, sex. 65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? Kissing, wandering hands, scratching, biting, oral. 66. What is your favourite roleplay? I'm not sure? 67. What is your idea of the perfect date? Anything as long as me and my partner are together and happy. 68. What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual. 69. What turns you off? Just being a dick in general I guess. 70. What turns you on? Most things lol. My boyfriends voice is sometimes enough to set me off. 71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? I don't remember lol. 72. What words do you like to hear during sex? Anywhere from the scale of "I love you" to "cum slut" looool. 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Just take care of me. 74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? Idk. 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? So many things I can't pick one. 76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? No idea. 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? As long as you're not fucking a child it's all good. 78. What’s your dirtiest secret? That would be telling. 79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? Oh god. I don't even know. 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Tonight. 81. Who are five people you find attractive? My boyfriend x5 82. Who is the last person you hugged? My daughter. 83. Who was your first kiss with? My boyfriend when we were 13 💕 84. Why did your last relationship fail? Don't even ask, it's long and it's shit. 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? I have before.