#//so spitefully i gave craig some

[troublcmakcrs]

//why are you booing him? he's right

[uas-art]

Title: The Trials Summary: Everyone had to go through the trials to be part of Craig's gang, Tweek is no exception--no matter how much Craig wants him to be. Ships: Creek Rating: T for language

Craig should have known today was going to end poorly when Clyde spit his milk half way across the lunch table with no provocation. He barely had time to shield his sandwich and brownie with his arms from the projectile dairy. Craig glowered across the table.

"The fuck, dude?" He snapped.

Clyde hacked, earning a few firm pats on the back from Token beside him. After a moment, he lunged halfway across the table and grabbed hold of Craig's shoulders. "Craig! Craig, dude, I just--Tweek, he's part of our gang, right? Or is he still part of Stan's and just dating you?"

Craig opened his mouth then shut it. He wasn't sure. Since they started dating, Tweek had been spending more time with his gang over Stan's or any other clique, but Craig had never actually asked if he wanted to be part of his or not.

"I dunno." Craig brushed Clyde's hands off then leaned back, looking over towards the lunch line. Tweek was chatting with Scott while waiting in the line for milk. Without speaking, Craig stood. He took a few steps away from the table before he paused and turned back again. He grabbed his brownie from his tray. He didn't trust that someone--Clyde--wouldn't try to take it while he was away.

Biting into the brownie, he walked over to the end of the lunch line just as Tweek finished.

"Tweek," he said, waving his hand, cutting off whatever Scott was saying. Crumbs of brownie fell onto his jacket. Scott eyed Craig for a moment then started off towards his normal table.

"Hey, Craig. What's up?" Tweek replied.

Craig put his arm on Tweek's shoulder and gently lead him towards the his table. "Tweek, are you part of my gang?"

"W-what? I-I dunno!" Tweek gripped his tray tighter. Craig squeezed his arm reassuringly.

"I was just wondering. Clyde brought it up. If you want to be part of my gang, you can be."

"Is that--garh--ok? Do the others care? What if one of them secretly hates me?"

"No one could ever hate you, Tweek."

They returned to Craig's lunch table then. Jimmy scooted aside, making room for Tweek. Tweek nodded his thanks and sat down on the edge of the bench.  Craig, now awkwardly sandwiched between Jimmy and Tweek, struggled a moment to get his legs back under the table. Once he settled, he slapped the tabletop--as if he didn't already have everyone attention.

"Does any one object to Tweek joining the gang officially?" Craig asked.

"I figured Tweek was al-al-already part of our clique, actually." Jimmy commented. "I don't care either way. I'm always looking for another audience member to practice on!"

From across the table, Token nodded. "I don't. Tweek's cool."

Tweek started to thank Token for the compliment, but Clyde was nearly jumping in his seat and cut Tweek off. "No objections from me! So is Tweek in?"

"How do you know I don't object?" Craig said coolly around a bite of his sandwich.

Tweek jolted beside him, nearly spilling his milk. He turned to Craig with wide eyes. "Gah! Do you? Is it weird to have your boyfriend in your gang? Would I make you uncomfortable? Oh jeez!"

Craig put his hand on Tweek's shoulder.  "I'm joking. I'd rather have you in my gang than in Stan's. Those fuckers are dangerous."

Tweek relaxed. "They're not so bad."

"They nearly blew up the Whole Foods last week and flooded the gym the day before. They're dangerous and stupid." Craig cleared his throat and continued. "So, I guess, welcome officially to my gang, Tweek." He swung an arm around Tweek's shoulders and gave him a half hug.

Clyde clapped his hands together excitedly. Craig didn't liked the smile spreading across Clyde's face. Actually, an amused smile seemed to be on both Token and Jimmy's faces, too. Craig furrowed his brow, pulling Tweek closer out of a protective reflex.

"What are you smiling about?" He demanded.

Clyde made a high pitched squealing noise and bounced in his seat. "Tweek has to do The Trials. I can't believe you're making your boyfriend do The Trials!"

"The Trials?" Tweek echoed.

Craig's eyes widen. "No. No. No, no, no, no! Tweek does not have to do that! He can be part of the gang without it."

"All the rest of us had to do it!" Clyde protested. "Just because you're bumping nasties doesn't mean he can get out of it! It's only fair!"

"We are not 'bumping nasties'. We're eleven." Craig snapped. "And I said 'no'. This is my gang. I made it. It's my rules."

"Gathering your friends together to spitefully make a clique after Stan made his doesn't really count as making it, if you ask me. Besides, Clyde has a point." Token tilted his milk towards Clyde. "You made us all do it, and Clyde and I had been your friends since preschool."

"You made me go through it too." Jimmy pointed out. "Besides, I'm s-su-su--I'm positive Tweek can handle it!"

"Handle what?!" Tweek's voice pitched up an octave in panic.

Craig glared around the table. "Nothing."

"The Trials of Friendship." Token replied.

"Oh. Like that screening from when Stan, Kyle, and Cartman needed to replace Kenny for a while." Tweek relaxed a bit. "I can do that. No problem."

"See, Craig? He wants to do it!" Clyde's shit-eating smile seemed to grow even bigger. It took everything Craig had not to reach over the table and try to slap it off his friend's lips. Before he could act on his lessening resolve, Craig felt Tweek press a finger in his side.

"Yeah, Craig, let me do it." Tweek grinned at him. Craig could still see the anxiety behind the smile, but he also saw determination there, too. If there was one thing he had learned from dating Tweek, once Tweek set his mind to something, he wouldn't let it go easily.

With a defeated sigh, Craig dropped his arm from Tweek's shoulders. "Fine, alright, whatever. We'll do it tonight at Token's, since he has the biggest yard."

~~~~~~~

Tweek had been excited at the prospect of being officially part of his boyfriend's gang. He hung out with them before, gone to sleepovers and parties, but he had always felt a little bit like an outsiders there. He was their friend, sure, but he wasn't there because he was their friend. He was there because he was Craig's boyfriend.

This was his chance to change all that! Prove to Token, Clyde, and Jimmy he was just as much a member of their friend group as Craig was!

But that excitement had turned to dread the longer the day went on. What if he failed? Would they make fun of him? Would he be allowed to sit with them at lunch? Would Craig be upset with him?  Would Craig have to break up with him? Would he be shunned by all his classmates once word got out what a failure he was!? Would the town kick him out for it?!

At those last string of thoughts, Tweek accidently let out a  strangled cry in the middle of their math test. He was sent outside to finish. He tried not to meet Craig's gaze as he passed.

By the time the last bell finally rang, Tweek had ripped off several hangnails, chewed his nails down, and absentmindedly pick off a at a scab on his elbow. The teacher had made him go to the nurse when she noticed, so most of his fingers had bandaid wrapped around the tips.

It was those bandaids that he was trying hard not to nervously fiddle with as he hurried towards Token's house. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, Token's home was only a block or so away from Tweak Bro's.  It made for a quick walk after Tweek had hastily finished his chores at the shop. The guard at the gate barely gave him a glance before allowing Tweek in.

Tweek accidently peeled back some of the adhesive on a bright blue bandaid on his pinky finger as he hurried up to the steps. He took a deep breath then pressed the door bell. He shifted his weight from foot to foot.

"Keep it together, Tweek. Keep it together. You told Craig you can do it, so you have to try."

"Yeah, don't sweat it. You'll be fine."

Tweek jumped. He hadn't even noticed Token opening the door. He wondered how much the other had heard.  Token flashed him a reassuring smile.  He took a step back and ushered Tweek inside. He lead Tweek through the house to the kitchen where everyone was already sitting. Tweek swallowed the lump that formed in his throat, or tried to, anyway. He had to cough into his hand then try again before he finally forced it down.

Craig hopped off the table he was on and hurried over. He put a hand on Tweek's forearm. Tweek leaned into his touch, his nerves calming, for the moment.

"You don't have to do this. We won't make you if you freaks you out that much." Craig offered slowly. He eyed the bandaid on Tweek's hands with a frown.

"No, I-I--gah--I can do it. If everyone else can do it, so can I." Tweek felt his stomach twist. He wanted to take Craig's offer, but he couldn't let the other boys think he was a wimp like that! Tweek Tweak was many things, but he was not a wimp! He took a breath then stepped away from Craig.

"Alright, what do I do? Br-Bring it on!" He prayed his voice sounded more confident than he felt.

Clyde pushed back his chair, filling the kitchen with a loud scraping. Without putting the chair back in, he ran forward, fishing for something in his pockets. He nearly skidded into them before stopping. He then produced a long strip of cloth triumphantly from his back pocket.

"Craig, if you would do the honor," Clyde held out the strip with unnecessary flourish. Craig rolled his eyes before snatching it from his hand.

"We have to blind fold you, for the effect." He explained. "Is that ok?"

Tweek chewed his lips. It was one thing to go through these trials metaphorically blind, but actually blind? That might be too much. His gaze darted towards Token, then Clyde, and finally Jimmy who was waiting back at the table. If he didn't wear the blind fold, what would they think? Would they think he was a pansy for it?

A small, nervous, growl escaped his throat. No, he could handle this! He had to prove himself!

Tweek nodded, shutting his eyes, and leaned forward. Craig was taller than him, though, Craig was taller than just about everyone in their class, so Tweek stood on his tiptoes. He didn't think it would actually help much, but the feeling of mild numbness on his toes gave him something to focus on as his boyfriend tied the blindfold across his eyes.

He felt Craig's fingers brush against his cheeks as Craig lowered his hands. Tweek dropped back down to the flats of his feet.

"Ok, I'm leaving him with you Token. You know what to do." Craig said.

Tweek felt a hand on his shoulder, Token's, he assumed, as he was lead away. Behind him, he heard Clyde and Jimmy chuckling to themselves and felt the breeze as they hurried by him. He tried to pick Craig's footsteps out, but couldn't. He wasn't sure if that was because Craig wasn't moving or if he was purposely walking differently.

The sliding glass door opened, and Token took Tweek outside. They traveled across Token's backyard before Token made them stop.

"Alright," Token said, "Just stay there, dude. I gotta set up stream chat...connecting, connecting...and there! Smile, Tweek, you're on camera."

"Gah! What? Is this live? Who can see me?! I can't preform like this, man!" Tweek rung his hands together. A bandaid, from his left ring finger this time, fell to the ground.

"It's just us, Tweek!" Jimmy's voice came from somewhere near by. "It's a cl-closed chat."

"It's better than those shitty walkie talkies we had to use last time." Craig commented. "Ok, Tweek, you have to pass four trails to enter our gang. Token will explain the first, then Clyde has the second once you finish, Jimmy the fourth and I'll explain the last. Can you handle that?"

"Y-yes!" Tweek forced out.

"You've got this, Tweek!" Jimmy cheered from the group chat.

"Yeah! You'll be the fifth member in no time!" Clyde chimed in.

Tweek nodded, but then realized he wasn't sure if the chat could see him. "I can do it. I can do it. I can!" He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince them or himself. Maybe both.

"Tweek, you don't need to worry about failing, honey. If you mess up, you can try as many times as you want--or at least until we have to go home in a couple of hours." Craig reassured. "I'm watching you from the window--"

"Because he might help you cheat otherwise!" Clyde laughed.

"Clyde, you can't see it, but I'm flipping you off with both hands up here." Craig deadpanned. He took a breath. "You can do it, babe. I believe in you. Alright, Token? Start!"

Token reached up and untied the blindfold, letting it fall from Tweek's face. Tweek blinked a few times, eyes readjusting to the light. Token slipped his phone into his pocket. So that's what he was using for the call.

"Tweek, your first trial is the Obstacle Course of Death!" Token swung his arm out.

Somehow part of Token's back yard had been transformed into a makeshift obstacle course. Nearest to Tweek was a roped tied over a low hanging tree branch. Tweek squinted. Someone had left a chimpokomon doll on the branch. Then a couple of card board posts with arrows scribbled on them lead to a kiddie pool. The word "JUMP!" was on the near by sign. Finally, they had thrown some mesh netting over the top of some plastic lawn chairs. He could barely read it, but he was almost sure the sign said "CRAWL!"

Tweek turned his gaze towards Token's house. Though he couldn't see clearly through the windows, he could see movement on one of the second story windows. That must have been Craig, Tweek reasoned.

"Did you really make Craig stay inside so he wouldn't help me cheat?" Tweek asked.

Token shook his head. "He wouldn't help you cheat, but he would stay on the sidelines calling you all sorts of mushy names as you went along, and frankly, none of us wanted to deal with that."

Tweek felt his face heat up. "Oh..." He whispered. "Um, sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault Craig fell out of the hopeless romantic closet and the gay one at the same time." Token shrugged. "Enough chit-chat. Let me explain. The course starts when you knock the chimpokomon doll out of the tree. After that, jump the pool, then army crawl under the netting. Got it?"

"Yeah!"

Token raised his hand then threw it down. "Now go!"

"Gah!" Tweek exclaimed, bolting forward. He grabbed tightly onto the rope and attempting to haul himself up.  Tweek wasn't a skinny kid. Considering more often than he would like to admit his daily diet was coffee and pastries from the shop, he had gotten himself a bit of a belly. While he wasn't as hefty as Clyde, his pudginess still pulled him down.

Tweek gritted his teeth. His arms were already yelling at him in protest, but he carried on. Or, he tried to. In fact, Tweek only made it about a third of the way up the rope before he fell back. He blinked the stars from his eyes and pushed himself up.

He could hear Token asking if he was alright from the side lines, but he didn't reply back. Tweek rolled his shoulders, about to try again when he stopped. He grabbed the rope, but this time started to shake it, pulling down and to the side as hard as he could.

He knew he must have looked really stupid, but he didn't care once he heard the soft plop of the chimpokomon doll hitting the ground beside him. Before going on, he glanced at Token.

"Does that work?" He called. Token had his hand to his mouth, covering a smile, but he nodded anyway for Tweek to continue.

Suddenly feeling very determined, Tweek bolted forward towards the pool. If he jumped just right, he could probably make it. Hopefully. He wished he had Craig's stupidly long legs right then as he bend down and sprung forward.

Tweek didn't make it. Instead his shoe caught on the rim of the pool, and he stumbled forward, face first. Tweek gasped for breath, splashing about, before finally righting himself. As he flopped out of the pool, he heard Token yelling at him that it was alright, just go! Shaking some of the water from his hair, he ran wildly forward to the last obstacle.

The second he neared, Tweek dropped to his belly and began to crawl under the netting. His mom would have a fit once she saw the grass and mud stains, but at that moment, Tweek didn't care. He was so, so close! Almost one trial down, and he had only made a fool of himself in front of his friends twice.

It was still going better than the screening for Stan's group if he had to be honest.

Tweek rolled to his feet as he final exited the netting. He doubled over with his hands on his knees. He probably could have done the course slower, and wouldn't have ended up so out of breath. That didn't matter, though. He was done, and as far as he knew, he did alright.

A hand landed firmly on his shoulder. "You did it, dude!" Token grinned. "Ok, Clyde's over there, near the grill. You're doing awesome!"

Tweek nodded wordless before he dashed towards the built in grill. Clyde sat on a stool he must have dragged from inside the house, though Tweek's brain was so frazzled he couldn't recall which room. Clyde tossed a towel into Tweek's face as he neared.

"Nice jump, man." Clyde remarked cheekily. "Take a seat." He gestured to a stool beside him. Tweek slipped onto the stool, drying his hair and face. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his frantically heart from the obstacle course.

Clyde rocked the stool backwards and forward as he waited for Tweek to finish drying himself off. Once Tweek set the towel down in his lap, Clyde jumped from the stool and then puffed out his chest.

"This next trail is my favorite. The Chill of Doom!" Clyde grabbed the handle of the closed grill besides him. A smile that reminded Tweek a little too much of a cartoon super villain spilt across Clyde's features. With an air of drama, Clyde threw open the grill lid.  Sitting on the grates was a large glass with some sort of brown colored substance inside covered with way too much whip cream. A straw stuck out the side.

"Take the milkshake, Padawan."

With trembling fingers, Tweek took the milkshake from inside the grill and pulled it into his lap. Why did it have to be a glass? Why not plastic or something he knew he wouldn't break if he dropped it?

Clyde planted his feet on the ground and stuck his fists at his hips. "Tweek, for this trial you must drink that whole thing--as fast as you can!" Clyde had an infectious energy about him, and it made Tweek feel a surge of confidence.

"Garh, right!"  He grabbed the straw and threw it aside then placed the glass rim to his lips and chugged. His face was smeared with whip cream. Some even got up his nose, but he didn't waver. He tried his best not to taste the shake.  There was something off about the taste of the milkshake, but he would rather not know what kind of grossness his friends had mixed in until after he had already finished.

Half way through the shake, a sharp pain flared across Tweek's head. He gasped. Chocolate and spit mixed with the grass stains on his shirt.

"Brain freeze! Gah! Brain freeze!" Tweek gasped out, shoving his thumb against the roof of his mouth--an old trick his dad had taught him when he was little.  

"Fight the pain! Keep going!" Clyde cheered. "You're doing better than Token--he had barfed by now!" Tweek trying to ignore the implications of that last comment as he powered on. He chugged the rest before setting the glass aside, holding his head.

"Oh, Jesus! It hurts! It hurts! I'm never eating ice cream again!" He cried as he rubbed the heels of his palms against his head. He then took a corner of the towel and wiped off his face.

Clyde laughed, taking the towel from Tweek's lap once he finished and throwing it over his shoulder. "I think I can see why Craig likes you, dude. That was awesome! Did you taste the  ketchup we mixed in?"

"Ketchup?"

 Of all the possible disgusting options for what a bunch of eleven year-old boys could have chose to hide in a chocolate milkshake, Tweek had to admit ketchup hadn't been one he considered.

"Yup! It was my idea. Jimmy wanted to put onions in, but I knew you'd see them--and they wouldn't fit through the straw. So I said let's put some ketchup in there." Clyde spoke with an air of pride about him.

"Speaking of Jimmy," Clyde grabbed Tweek's arm and pulled him off the stool. "He's in the kitchen. You're almost done!"

Tweek had to steady himself against the grill too keep from falling over before he headed towards the door. Half stumbling, half jogging, Tweek made his way back into the kitchen, thankful for the warmth of the house. Jimmy sat at the table. He gestured to the seat across from him for Tweek. Tweek slipped into the seat.

"I'd say take a ch-ch-chill pill, but you've already got the chill covered." Jimmy quipped.

"Um, y-yeah, what do you--what's next." Tweek rubbed his hands over his arms. His fingers brushed against the bandaid at his elbow and he noticed that he was missing another from his fingers.

"Well, my terrific soon-to-be official audience, do we have a treat for you this find afternoon!" Jimmy flashed a smile. The light glinted off his braces. He continued, "This t-tr-tr-trail is called...The Blind Kiss."

"Of Doom or Death?" Tweek cut in, recalling the names of the other trails.

"No, just The Blind Kiss." Jimmy replied. "Now, shut those pretty peepers and pucker up!"

Tweek swallowed. What if he had to kiss something gross? Like a wet turd or stinky dead fish or a girl? This was too much pressure!

No, no, he was more than half done, he could do this! Remember, Tweek thought, everyone else had to do this too, so it can't be something too terrible, right?

Craig's rational way of thinking didn't always work with someone as emotional as Tweek, but Tweek was so thankful when it actually did. Maybe some of his boyfriend's mentality was rubbing off on him.

Tweek slipped his eyes shut and leaned across the table. His lips puckered out. He heard Jimmy chuckled to himself and some shuffling and something that sounded like squeaking.

"No peeking, or else you'll fail." Jimmy warned. In response, Tweek clenched his eyes shut tighter. Another chuckle then Jimmy said, "Here we g-g-g-go! Enjoy!"

Tweek then felt something wet and soft press against his lips. The musky smell of wood chips and hay hit his nose.  He nearly recoiled but stopped himself. He knew this feeling. He knew those smells. Tweek pulled back and peeked open his eyes.

Stripe looked up at him with big black eyes. The guinea pig twitched his nose and made a move to try and escape Jimmy's grasp. At this, Jimmy shrugged. He held the rodent across the table towards Tweek, who took the pig into his arms, trying his best not to hold Stripe against any of the milkshake stains.

Jimmy then produced a phone from his pocket. He pressed against it a few times before setting it back down. He moved his hand towards Tweek to scratch stripe behind the ears.

"Ya know, when I did this trial," Jimmy started, "I peeked."

"You did?" Tweek gasped. "Did you have to kiss Stripe again?"

"No," A new voice said. The boys looked up to Craig wandering in from the hall. "We made him do it again, but this time he had to kiss a fish we caught earlier that day at Stark's Pond."

Jimmy wrinkled his nose at the memory. "I would have preferred a sexy mermaid." The sliding glass door opened then and Clyde and Token wandered in.

"Sexy mermaid? Are we talking about the time we got Jimmy to french a fish?" Token asked.

"I did not f-fr-french a fish." Jimmy rolled his eyes as everyone took a seat around the table. Craig slide in next to Tweek and gingerly took Stripe into his own arms.

"I'm 99% sure I saw some tongue." Clyde teased.

"At least, I didn't need help knocking the chimpokomon doll down." Jimmy snorted.

"I didn't know you didn't have to climb the rope!" Clyde protested.

"We had to push your ass up the tree, Clyde, because you didn't even try to listen to our suggestions." Craig recalled.

Before the banter could continue, Tweek cut in. "What about the last trial?" Jimmy, Token, and Clyde exchanged sly glances with each other. Tweek raised a concerned eyebrow.

"Yeah, Craig, what about the last trail?" Clyde smirked.

Craig winced. "I say he's passed enough. He was pretty much a member of the gang before anyway."

Token shook his head. "You can't squirm your way out of this, dude."

"Is big, bad Craig scared?" Jimmy chuckled.

"No, I am not." Craig muttered. He heaved a sigh. Handing Stripe over to Jimmy, Craig stood. He nodded at Tweek, who quickly followed suit.

"This is your last trial, The Big Fist Puncheru." Craig stated flatly.

"Oh Jesus! That's Super Craig's attack--gah! You're gonna punch me?" Tweek chewed his lip. When Craig wanted to, he could pack a wallop. In fact, Tweek had seen his boyfriend take down adults with his punches to the gut. It was Super Craig's Big Fist Puncheru that had knocked Wonder Tweek out during one of their fights when they last played super heroes.

"Um, no." Craig shook his head. "You get to punch me. It's suppose to be the only free punch you'll ever get."

"What?" Tweek's eyes widen. "I've already done that! Last year, in shop class? We had to go the hospital--and we fought there too!"

"I know! That's why I didn't want you to do this. You punch hard, dude. Really, I think you would have been a better brutalist than Super Craig."

Tweek put his hand to his face. A smile spread across it. "Thanks, Craig. I--" Before Tweek could say any more, Clyde made a gagging sound. Craig turned and glowered at him before raising his middle finger.

"Yeah, you too can gush about how gay and in love you are later." Clyde slapped his palm on the table. "But he has to finish the last trial. Punch him! Punch him! Punch him!" Clyde began to chant. Soon Jimmy and Token joined in as well.

Craig shrugged and turned his left shoulder towards Tweek. He tapped a spot on his forearm then nodded. Tweek sent Craig an apologetic smile before he raised his fist. He pulled back then paused. After making sure Craig was watching, Tweek tapped a kiss against his fingers. He was almost sure he saw the smallest bit of a blush flash across Craig's cheeks.

Then, slowly and deliberately, Tweek gently tapped his fist against Craig's cheek. Craig blinked before slowly reaching up and touching the spot Tweek 'punched'. Tweek hoped the spit from his indirect kiss didn't gross his boyfriend out too much.

"The fuck was that?" Clyde's mouth hung open in disbelief. "That was the most pathetic punch I've ever seen!"

Tweek shrugged before he slipped his fingers into Craig's. "You never said it had to be a good punch."

Craig leaned against Tweek. "He has a point. You guys just took your one free punch as an all out."

Clyde looked like he wanted to protest, but instead crossed his arms and gave a defeated shrug. Even Jimmy and Token looked a little disappointed at the anticlimactic final trial.

"What a let down." Jimmy muttered. Token nodded in agreement.

Craig rolled his eyes. "Fuck you guys, too." He then turned towards Tweek. With a squeeze of his hand, Craig greeted, "Welcome to the gang, Tweek."

~~~~~~

AN:  I spend half of my time writing this with that cut away gag from family guy where the supreme court judge had to carry a cherry with his butt cheeks playing on a loop in my head.