#//it's nice to get to mention linnea

[devotedrigelianflower]

~Meanwhile in Askr with Rinea | Guest star: @convxction ~

"...I still can't believe I got the wrong door! The symbol of the Azalea flower was right in front and I still missed it..." Rinea was still embarrassed even after she gave another gift to the Chrom in Askr and played it cool the whole time she was around him. "...Just don't do that again..." Berkut said as he shook his head and sighed. They got a long lecture from Prince Alphonse about it but at least the incident was kept quite. "I didn't know you went into other realms to try to find me. That was sweet of you, Lord Berkut." Rinea said with a small smile. "...Yes and it was quite the experience. It seems that Azalea is a lot happier than the another version I saw of you in Nohr. That one was extremely depressed and seemed to not show any emotions on the outside despite being a princess..." Berkut told her. "Oh dear...she really must have been through a lot to end up like that..." Rinea said as that would be an understatement since Linnea never had any flashback due to her life being so much worse. "Well enough of that. How about we go to the castle garden for a stroll." Berkut said as he knew that would cheer her up.

"That would be wonderful Lord Berkut!" Rinea said as she let her beloved lead the way. Rinea had no idea that someone was watching her from a far. The being was filled with sadness and hoping that that couple's fate would be changed for the better. A being that always would send chills up Chrom's spine whenever he saw her.

"........"

~*~

[terribletoonietuesday]

Terror Toons 4 (2023)

Terror Toons 4 (2023)Due to several reasons I have not been doing reviews as often as I used to but I needed to write this one. I NEEDED to write it. Let me set things up with expectations. I was a big fan of the first film literally 20 years ago. Not because I thought it was amazing but because it was just shockingly silly , bizzare and that kind of nonsense that would shock normie film fans. It was a lot of fun to show people just for their reactions. Then parts 2 and 3 came and went and I was not too much of a fan. It was a bit of the same and just didn' do anything for me and I'm sure would be too weird for those pre mentioned "normies"… but.. but then came part 4. I was told it was an anthology and the post covid world of low budget anthologies don't exactly excite me anymore. So I went into this worried but only 30 seconds in, things changed… forever.The opening of this film explodes into visual overload and insanity so fast it feels as if Horonamus Bosch met Terry Gilliam in the digital age. it felt like that magnavox commercial where the screen literally exploded in your face. Then the movies starts and the screaming begins. The first short starts and gives us a mixed slash warped origin of the classic Terror Toon villains. It's so much a step up in concept , feeling, pacing and technical excellence then previous with a darker , scarier atmosphere. Imagine watching Adam Wests Batman one week and then seeing a multimillion dollar Batman movie the next week.So not to give any spoilers I will just say it feels like Alex De le Iglesia directed the hell scene in Bill and Teds bogus journey . Douglas Epps take on the less cartoony yet just as insane Dr Carnage is amazing. The killer gorilla Max Assassin is legit scary now. But it's the new sweet and innocent yet completely terrifying character Derrick or was it Eric that we meet that will change your life.I won't explain anything about him but you will know him when you see him. We get several other shorts but they definitely come in second to the first short however they are needed. Brinke Stevens stars and directs a short that is a much more sensible short that may have been fine on its own but felt a bit out of place, again only because the rest of the show was so wild. Brinke had made this short before thinking of connecting it to Terror Toons 4 , I'm pretty sure. It's a nice mellow out and does get us more Linnea Quickly and Debbie Rochon. Hell the cameos in this are wild.The third and fourth shorts come at you wild and fast giving no mercy. After the second short I was literally saying to myself "wait a Joe Castro film with no sexual symbolism, that's weird." but then the short The heads of Mr Switch comes at you and picks up for sexual lost time. This short is shocking, hilarious and ends so quickly you also want to know what happens next so badly. The most original villain in eons, all that and oh my god, Lizzy Borden is back.The final short gives us a 21 gun salute and takes us into the apocalypse . Oh look it's Rob Rhine of Girls and Corpses magazine , but of course he is here again. More cameos from more scream queen and b movie legends than you can shake a stick at in this octane charge non stop visceral explosion into madness as if Aphex Twin remade Monty Python's Meaning of Life.This is a huge achievement for the B movie world and even for those normie film nerds that may not understand this film , they will still be effected and never forget this facedive diving board launch into madness. So yeah I loved it. I'm exhausted.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Dancing around the halls of the Elouan Ruins

If I were to describe the Elouan Ruins in one word, I’d say somber would pretty much sum it up. I can’t say too much about ruins in general other than they’re interesting in the sense that they’re remnants of a different time. No matter how seemingly mundane and ordinary these places once were, I think the fact that they exist and carry stories is fascinating.

The ruins are located underwater in the outskirts of Marippe. Due to changes in the sea level over the centuries, the city gradually became submerged and became one with the sea. The interesting thing is that even after the city was abandoned, Elouan Hall was still run by the dragon god Scylla and his half human daughter Tiara for meetings and events. The most notable feature is its ballroom, which has somehow remained mostly intact after all this time.

I didn’t expect to meet up with Connie and the Marippe crew so soon. Jamie and the Linnea squad are joining too, which is a nice surprise. I’ve always said that winter and the rush of the holidays wears me out, so I try to push myself out of that slump by keeping my mind active.

I’m glad to say that my efforts have been paying off, though there are still times when I need to be a complete potato for a couple days. That’s just the nature of holiday season, I guess.

Beryl, Ruby, and Topaz are making good progress on their cardigans considering the circumstances. Connie says it’s a long story, but in short, Marippe had been plagued by earthquakes and floods that was later revealed to be caused by an outside faction tampering with ancient devices underwater.

Although Connie and the Justice, with help from the siblings and others, managed to get to the root of the problems, the damage had already been done. That’s why Beryl said the streets aren’t usually this quiet - it’s because they’re still cleaning up from the flood. Fortunately, the city wasn’t as affected compared to some other places, so things have been slowly returning to normal.

As expected, things have changed in Marippe, and not just because of the repairs and rebuilding. For instance, as a result of averting the disaster, Lady Roselyne was said to have lost her powers and returned to the waters, resulting in Justice Fontaine being her successor. While it’s nothing too drastic as he was pretty much running things in the first place, the people didn’t expect the Lady to willingly sacrifice her divinity to avert the crisis. And by “returning to the waters”, it just means that she reverted back into her original form and is said to be resting in Marippe’s waters.

However, Connie and Pai don’t plan to slow down anytime soon. The impending disaster in Marippe obviously took priority, so they have a lot to deal with after. A part of that happens to be admin stuff with the guild. I remember Eloise mentioning a package deal agreement regarding the siblings and her being bumped off the list again because of the Justice. Good news is that now she’s finally in, along with another new member, Madeleine, who is said to be special case.

Eloise wound up lucking out because apparently Fontaine and Connie felt bad for keeping her on the waitlist for so long because in normal circumstances, Madeleine would’ve bumped her off the list. So that’s why Connie was able to get a team up in Marippe that fast, which proved beneficial in the long run.

The bad news is that because new recruits take up time and resources, Connie and Pai are a bit tight in terms of finances. But it’s not as bad as it sounds as they’ve been through times like that, though this time it’s a bit more serious as they’re kinda in the red. Since they’re sticking around Marippe for a while, Connie figured that now’s the time to pick up more side missions, as well as train the new recruits in the process. In other words, the sooner they can recoup the losses, the better.

That’s why Connie and Pai are splitting up. I’m with Team Connie along with Jamie, Linnea, Topaz and Beryl for the Elouan mission. Pai’s in charge of the rest of the Linnea squad - Florina, Nash, and Shirin - as well as Ruby and Eloise in Le Sommet Aride. Those are the main ones, followed by a bunch of smaller, more straightforward missions in the days to come. It kinda sounds like they’re taking a lot at once, but Connie says it’s manageable, especially with Jamie and the Linnea squad helping out. After all, the sooner they can recoup, the better.

But before we went off, Connie had to take care of some “boring admin stuff” regarding the Marripe recruits. Because of the impeding crisis and how quickly things were moving, it makes sense that the admin stuff fell behind. Connie’s lucky that the guild didn’t penalize them for cutting corners - which would’ve been rude considering the circumstances - so now they have to get everyone caught up on the paperwork as soon as possible.

So, along with enjoying tea and pastries in Cafe Zephrine, I got to finally meet Justice Fontaine and Madeleine. Connie chose this spot not only because it’s popular, but also because it’s a convenient location for everyone. The Justice is usually busy with work and the administration hall’s a couple blocks away so he could easily drop by when he has time. As for Madeleine, Pai says she’s kinda difficult to keep track of, mainly because she just moved so things are kinda hectic on our end. Luckily, while on his way to the cafe, Fontaine ran into Madeleine and filled her in.

Just as Pai described him, Fontaine is the kind of person where you can immediately tell they’re a big deal. I swear, the mood kinda shifted when he showed up, not that they were intimidated by him, more like they have a great deal of respect kind of thing. Despite his status, just as Pai also said, he’s very nice and polite, not to mention that he was clearly looking out for Madeleine - who Connie said is kinda dealing with a lot right now.

I think it makes sense that after barely surviving a near catastrophe, a lot of people come out of that reevaluating their lives and maybe even making big changes because of it. Beryl said that he was surprised to find out that Madeleine had joined the team and wondered if Fontaine pulled some strings to squeeze her in, something that Connie, interestingly, doesn’t confirm or deny.

She’s definitely well acquainted with Fontaine, so maybe it’s not a stretch that she’s probably acquainted with the former Lady Roselyne too, especially since Eloise revealed her ties to Marippe’s administration - which apparently seems to be a subject that shouldn’t be discussed openly because classified information probably. I think that just further adds to my speculation that she is - was - someone of high importance.

Change can be scary, and there’s no doubt that Madeleine has a lot on her plate, so I wish her well and I hope to get to know her better in the near future. After all, aside from the adventuring aspect, a lot of people join these kinds of groups to expand their social circle, whether it be making new friends or taking advantage of the opportunities to spend time with people they’d normally never run into in their day to day lives.

To be honest, if it weren’t for some of their understandably strict requirements - like being adept in combat, for example - I would accept without hesitation if Connie extended an invitation to me. Though, I enjoy being an “honorary member”, just as someone who occasionally tags along for adventures, as well as provide a place for anyone who needs some downtime. Having the camp being designated as a hangout spot is what I consider a great honor.

So we spent quite a bit of time hanging at the cafe, which was nice. The paperwork was pretty much skimming through a packet and just signing where indicated by an X. It’s a good thing the entire Marippe crew showed up so Connie can get all the paperwork done and over with. Though, it’s a shame that Fontaine and Madeleine can’t stay for long. I hope to see them soon, whether it be at the camp or in Marippe.

Topaz, being an expert on underwater ruins, took the lead as he’s somewhat familiar with the area. For ruins, the Elouan is relatively recent, as in less than 500 years since it was completely abandoned and submerged. As a result, the structure is surprisingly intact, which is why researchers are trying to get as much out of it as they can before nature fully takes hold. Sounds like a goldmine of information for historians.

The Elouan Tower, later known as Elouan Hall, served many purposes over the centuries. It’s best known for its library and ballroom, both which were once extravagant. The main study served as a common meeting spot for various leaders like Scylla and Elysia. Around the time Tiara became the tower’s keeper, the place was known for its extravagant balls that served to bridge the gaps between the world of the humans and mythical creatures, setting an example for future generations to come. Although Tiara is generally not well known outside of Marippe, her influences and impact on immortal beings reached many corners of the world. That’s also another reason why the Elouan is a hot topic for historians - to pull Tiara out of obscurity.

Although hybrids like Tiara existed for a long time, they were few and far between. Being from two different worlds, whether it be heritage, blood, or species, it can be pretty isolating as you don’t fit into one or the other. Hybrids are still kind of a minority, but there’s obviously more of them now, and the experience isn’t as isolating. However, they still have their struggles. There are those like Sophea and Emmaline who seem well adjusted living among humans, but even they have their moments where they doubt their identities. Someone who’s lived a couple centuries, like Sophea, would have much different experiences compared to someone like Emmaline, who, for the most part, is “more human” in terms being mortal.

What makes Tiara unique as a hybrid is the fact that her human mother Eliane was a water spirit, similar to Lady Roselyne. Eliane took on a human form when she decided to live alongside the people. When disaster struck, Eliane and an army of water spirits sacrificed their divine powers to prevent the seas from engulfing the skies. As a result, she became a mortal human with a limited lifespan. Despite that, she continued to work alongside Scylla, who was forever grateful to her.

Even though it’s general knowledge now, the fact that Tiara was Scylla’s daughter was kept secret. While Eliane was well respected, she was known for getting into flings with men and women, something that sort of made others feel conflicted about her. So no one really batted an eye when she became pregnant because they figured that A, it was bound to happen, and B, she probably had no idea who the father was.

It wasn’t until about a century later, around the time Tiara took over in managing the Elouan, when Scylla came forward. He and Tiara chose to publicly disclose the true nature of their relationship to take attention away from a scandal regarding Tiara’s friend. It worked as Scylla and Tiara became the target of speculation and rumors.

Of course, people got it in their heads that Scylla and Elysia were in some secret romance, or that Elysia toyed with Scylla’s heart. And they were inevitably disappointed when Scylla repeatedly asserted that it was nothing of the sort. The short answer was that it was essentially an impulsive thing, something that Tiara remarked was mundane and anticlimactic, which was why people wouldn’t accept that answer.

Scylla admitted that he cared dearly for Elysia, but their relationship was purely platonic. They were close friends, having known each other forever, and he was devastated when she died. Even though his relationship with Tiara was not publicly known, he had always been involved in her life and took her under his wing. Out of all the dragons that once resided here, Scylla was the most well acquainted with the humans, similar to how Eliane was.

During Tiara’s final years, the city had relocated and the Elouan wasn’t as active. The library was moved to what would become the Wittenrath Institute while the ballroom was only for certain events. After Tiara died, the Elouan closed its doors for good and nature gradually took over.

The ballroom is what fascinated me the most because somehow it feels like stepping into a liminal space. Jamie once said something about how artifacts can hold memories and sentiments, and how they’re strong enough to feel tangible, like you can see and feel them. She wasn’t kidding.

No matter how seemingly mundane or dull an object is, there are usually stories behind it, stories that remind you that someone had once existed. It’s not like a grand gesture or anything, more like people have always been people kind of thing. I don’t really know why, but it’s those kinds of things that really fascinate me.

The highlight of this expedition was definitely trying to recreate what a ball might look like. Since the structure’s mostly intact, it wasn’t that hard to picture how grand it once was, even without all the decor and furniture and stuff. Even underwater, it’s not hard to see the remaining magnificence of the ballroom with its intricate architecture.

By some miracle, we managed to get the big clock centerpiece working, which was amazing! Of course, it didn’t work for long since it’s super old and probably rusted. The ballroom lit up for a moment and for a second, it was like we traveled back in time. We even danced for a bit to the music in an attempt to recreate what a ball might have been like.

As expected, the expedition was an all day thing. By the time we got back to the city, it was getting late and Pai’s group was waiting for us. Madeleine finished early so Pai convinced her to join us for dinner.

While waiting for us, Florina talked the ladies into getting bellybutton piercings, which they all now have, Connie and Beryl were initially kinda freaked out until Florina assured them that it was a reputable place and they have all the necessary equipment for care. Beryl calmed down a bit, but then Connie nearly freaked out again when Pai made the mistake of revealing how much it costs. I mean, if it’s a reputable place where everything sterilized and done properly, I guess it justifies the price? Not that I know anything about that.

They actually do look pretty neat, but I don’t know if I can muster the courage to get additional piercings. Maybe not a bellybutton piercing necessarily, but maybe on top of my ears or something. Florina knows quite a bit about piercings and can pull them off, so it’s definitely not an impulse thing.

I do think it’s kinda funny though that the ladies pulled off something like that. Florina did extend the invitation to the guys, but they declined and opted to go sightseeing instead.

Since today was kinda packed, we’re taking it easy tomorrow by exploring the city and get some knitting done as the others are very eager to make more progress on that. I wonder how the Epiphany crew’s doing on their cardigans.

Read on AO3

[blueskrugs]

Some People Do, Part 2. | Nathan MacKinnon

the MacRedemption arc y’all didn’t need or ask for. this fic brought to you by taylor swift’s folklore

Part 1.

also huge shoutout to @burkymakar for beta-ing this monster of a sequel that turned out about three and a half times as long as the original.

length: 21.1k words

The Avalanche’s new season started. You didn’t watch the home opener. In fact, you weren’t even around to watch it. You left Denver. Took some leave from work, packed a couple bags, and went back to your hometown to be with your family for a while.

Or, to be somewhere where the ghosts of your relationship with Nate didn’t seem to follow you everywhere. You didn’t think Denver and the people in it would miss you that much anyway. 

Mel called you one afternoon at the beginning of the Avs’ first road trip of the season. “Linnea misses you,” she said gently after you picked up the phone. “The boys are out of town, and I want all the girls to come over to watch the game tomorrow night. I’ll buy that wine you like, and we can order pizza.”

You sucked in a deep breath, your hand pausing where it was buried deep in your parents’ dog’s fur. Mel misinterpreted your silence and rushed to keep talking.

“We don’t have to talk about anything. We just want to see you. No one’s really heard from you since the season started.”

“Mel, I’m not in Denver. I left.” You heard Mel drop something on the other end of the line. Zoey started barking in the background.

“You left? What d’you mean you left? Without telling anyone? Y/N!” Mel’s voice rose as she spoke. You winced a little bit.

“I mean, I told my mom I was coming home…” Mel sighed at you. “Look, I’ll come back eventually, probably, I just couldn’t handle being there, seeing his face or hearing his name everywhere anymore.” Mel hummed, a sad sound. “Please don’t tell Gabe or any of the boys that I’m gone. I don’t need them worrying about me.”

“Oh, they already do, but I won’t say anything, I promise,” Mel said. 

When your phone rang later that night and EJ’s name flashed across your screen, you groaned and cursed Mel under your breath. Of course she had told EJ anyway. You let it ring through to voicemail; he called again. He left a voicemail the second time, and then a minute later, your phone vibrated with a text, too. You didn’t really feel like listening to EJ scold you, so you ignored them both. EJ kept texting you through the night, all variations of “call me back.”

It wasn’t until you were curled up in your bed in the dark, a blanket wrapped around your shoulders as you leaned against your headboard, that you pressed play on EJ’s voicemail. He did indeed scold you for a moment before his voice softened. You could picture the worried look in his eyes clearly. 

“Please call me back, Y/N. Gabe’s losing his mind, and I want to know that you’re okay. I will fucking fly to your hometown if you won’t talk to me,” he threatened.

The thing was, you really didn’t doubt that EJ would use their next off day to track you down. You bit your lip, thumb hovering over the call button. The phone had barely rung once before EJ was answering it. 

“Thank fuck, Y/N.” He sounded a little out of breath, and a lot like he was trying to be casual about it, but failing terribly, which made you smile. “Mel said you left Denver? Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“Mel also said she wasn’t going to tell you boys. And I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t aware that I had to tell you everything, EJ. You’re not my brother.”

You could practically hear EJ rolling his eyes at you. “No, but I’m the closest thing you’ve got while you’re in Denver, and it would’ve been nice to know you’re safe or something.”

You scoffed. “Not like any of you have tried very hard to check on me before now. You could’ve called at any time, EJ.”

EJ sighed, “Okay, fair enough. Do you know when you’ll come home? Cox has been moping around the house since training camp started. We all know he misses you, but Nate doesn’t want to talk about it.”

“I don’t know if I will come back, E,” you said carefully. EJ made a sound like he wanted to argue with you but stayed quiet. “I love Denver, but so much of it is tied up with Nate, I don’t know if I can handle that.” “Okay, but consider this: someone’s gotta take care of Burky, because he’s still kind of an idiot.” That startled a laugh out of you, and when EJ spoke again, you could hear his grin. “I think he almost misses you more than Cox.” He paused. “We all miss you, Y/N.”

It was almost November before you made yourself get on a plane back to Denver. You went quietly, too afraid of how many Avs players would show up at your apartment door if they caught wind of you being back in town. You went back to work every day, and at night you would sit on the couch with a glass of wine and torture yourself by watching the Avalanche play. It turned out that not even a broken heart could keep you away from hockey for too long. You still had to catch yourself to keep from cheering every time Nate scored, though. Some habits were harder to break than others, apparently.

You still texted EJ every once in a while, carefully not mentioning that you were back in Denver. You wondered how long it would take him to figure out. 

You watched the games from the safety of your apartment most nights, and you never texted any of the boys, though the temptation was there sometimes, after someone scored a particularly good goal, or took a spectacularly stupid penalty. 

And then Nate took a dirty hit from a Stars player that threw him into the boards. It was his shoulder again, you knew, even before he got up slowly and made his way off the ice, even through the TV screen you were watching on. The camera panned over the bench once, showed you all the tense, worried faces of the players as they looked at each other, looked at the scoreboard—where they were losing with not enough time left—looked at where one of their best players had disappeared down the tunnel. 

Your phone was in your hand before you realized what you were doing. You were pretty sure you still had one of the trainers’ numbers from one of Nate’s last injuries, but as you pulled open the text thread, you didn’t even know what to say. 

No one knew where your relationship with Nate stood. Hell, you didn’t even know where your relationship with Nate stood anymore. No one even knew you’d come back to Denver. 

You chewed on your bottom lip as you watched the clock wind down. Your phone stayed unlocked in your hand, but you hadn’t typed anything. 

Instead, you backed out of the texts to the Avs’ trainer. You opened a text thread you hadn’t used much lately. Typed out a message and hit send before you could stop yourself. 

“Can I come over?”

You were half-asleep on the couch when your phone vibrated again half an hour later, hockey highlights on mute on the TV. You jolted awake, reaching for it in the half-dark. You blinked against the brightness of your phone screen. On it were two words: “of course.”

You jumped up, tugging a hoodie on over your pajamas. 

The roads to Nate’s house were familiar, even in the dark. Your hands shook on your steering wheel as you got closer. You weren’t really sure what you had been thinking when you had texted Nate, aside from some instinct to take care of him when he was injured. 

You weren’t sure what Nate was thinking by telling you to come over, either. 

The lights were on on the first floor when you pulled into the driveway. You sat in the car for a minute, steeling yourself, before making your way to the front door. 

You no longer had a key. You could hear Cox barking inside, his nails scrabbling on the hardwood as he raced towards the front door, and Nate’s frustrated, “God, shut up!” before the door was being pulled open. 

Cox barked one last time before he was barreling into your legs. You bent down to pet Cox, burying your face in his fur for a moment, choosing to ignore Nate standing in the doorway. If you were hiding a few tears, that was between you and Cox. Cox stopped deigning to stand still after a minute, wanting instead to lick your face, so you pulled back and stood up, meeting Nate’s eyes at last.

His arm was in a sling, and he looked tired, beyond the fact that he had just played a hard hockey game, and more like he wasn’t sleeping well. He shifted awkwardly on his socked feet; you tried not to notice the way he winced when his shoulder moved. 

His voice was quiet, shy, when he spoke. “Hi.”

Cox was still wiggling happily at your feet, and you almost didn’t hear him. You stopped petting Cox to grin sheepishly up at Nate. “Hey.”

Nate shook himself a little, taking a step back and opening the front door a little wider. “Come on, it’s dark out.”

You followed him inside, noting the stiffness in his neck and shoulders as he walked. Cox nudged at your hands as you walked, clearly ecstatic that you’d come home. Nate went into the living room and settled on the couch, but you walked into the kitchen to pull an ice pack out of the freezer. Your hands were shaking a little again.

You slowly made your way back into the living room, trying very hard not to think about everything that had happened the last time you had been in there. Nate had turned the TV on, but you didn’t look at it as you threw the ice pack at him. Nate winced again as he caught it, but still mumbled a “Thanks.” 

You stayed standing. Cox rolled over onto his back by your feet. Nate chuckled at him a little before an awkward silence fell over the room again.

“I didn’t know you were back in Denver,” Nate said finally. You had crouched down to rub Cox’s belly, but your head shot up to look at Nate. He hadn’t moved on the couch, and between the sling, the ice pack, and the tension in the room, he looked downright uncomfortable. You couldn’t find it in yourself to feel particularly sorry for him.

“I didn’t know EJ had told you I left,” you replied, making a mental note to kill EJ the next time you saw him. Nate shrugged as best as he could with an injured shoulder. “I came back a couple of weeks ago, been keeping to myself mostly.” Nate made a face that you couldn’t read. That was new. You’d always been able to figure him out, even when he was trying to hide his emotions. 

“Why are you here?” Nate asked quietly. Your hands paused in Cox’s fur again. You knew he wasn’t asking why you had come back to Denver, but why you were here in the house you used to share, getting him ice packs and petting Cox like nothing had ever changed. 

“I don’t know, Nate,” you sighed. “Honestly. I was watching the game and saw you go down, and some terrible fucking instinct of mine wanted to make sure you were okay, and here I am.”

Nate grinned, but his eyes were sad. “You don’t have to take care of me anymore. I don’t deserve it.” It was your turn to shrug. Cox was now attempting to sit in your lap; you pushed your face into his fur again, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. “He’s missed you a lot, y’know,” Nate added. Cox rested his chin on the top of your head. “I think he’s mad at me or something. Gives me the cold shoulder when I get home from roadies now. Won’t sleep on the bed with me anymore, either.” 

You managed a laugh; you hoped Nate didn’t hear how watery it was. Cox snuffled in your hair, and you hugged him a little tighter. When you pulled back from him, Nate was smiling at both of you fondly, and a little wistfully.

You stood up, checking your watch. “I should- I better go. It’s getting kinda late, and I have to work in the morning.” Something flashed across Nate’s face again, but he stood up, letting the ice pack fall to the couch. He was clearly still in pain, but he was less stiff than he had been when you arrived. “Don’t leave that on the couch overnight,” you told him, looking over his shoulder at the melting ice pack. Nate rolled his eyes, but smiled softly at you.

“I won’t, I promise.” Nate followed you to the door. “Hey, can I drop Cox off at your place some days, and, like, for some of our road trips? I don’t know if he can handle you not being around much longer.” You both looked at Cox, who was also following you two to the door, suddenly looking dejected again. “Look, he knows you’re leaving again.” Nate bent down to squish Cox’s face as best as he could with only one hand, then settled for ruffling his ears. “He misses you.” You smiled in spite of yourself and bent to drop a kiss to the top of Cox’s head.

“I miss you, too, baby. My apartment is a lot smaller than you’re used to, but there’s a park we can go to a couple of blocks over.” Cox whined at you. 

“Text me when you get home, yeah?” Nate said. 

You looked closely at him before responding. His eyes were still tired, a little haggard and a little too old for his body, but they were brighter than they had been earlier. 

“Of course,” you said. 

You did text Nate as soon as your apartment door was locked behind you. It felt strange, something you had both always done in the early days of your relationship, but had stopped being necessary as time went on and you had moved in together. It hurt a little bit, knowing all the history and things you had shared with Nate, but feeling as if you barely knew each other after all this time. You had never imagined that you would have to start your relationship over with Nate. You weren’t sure you really wanted to. 

Nate started texting you again after that, just random, unobtrusive messages: pictures and videos of Cox or stupid things one of his teammates had said during the day. You never replied, aside from occasionally reacting to some of the messages, but Nate didn’t seem to expect or need a response from you, because they just kept coming. 

You started to look forward to seeing them everyday.

Cox did also start coming around to your apartment, though it was usually EJ or Burky bringing him over. The first time Nate had tried to drop him off, but Cox had gotten confused and wouldn’t let Nate leave. It had led to one very awkward walk to the park in silence. 

The first road trip was the hardest. It was nice to have Cox around again, curled up behind your legs in your bed as you slept and demanding attention constantly, but you couldn’t help but think of the things you now knew. The things Nate got up to on road trips. Was it just like last year all over again? Were you home with the dog while Nate was off with some girl that wasn’t you? Was he with the same girl as last time, was he still flying her out to games? Or had he found someone else new to pass the time with?

The Avs swept the road trip, but you couldn’t bring yourself to watch any of the games.

It was the week before Christmas when you found yourself outside Nate’s front door again. He had tried to give you a key– your old key– since you were taking care of Cox all the time, but you couldn’t bring yourself to take it. Today you had been baking, and Sarah had asked for your snickerdoodles for when she came to town. 

Cox didn’t bark when you came to the door anymore, but he did greet you with a toy in his mouth. 

“You’re a terrible guard dog,” Nate scoffed. Cox wiggled excitedly. “He still knows the sound of your car,” he told you. “You can never get another one.”

You laughed, handing the Tupperware of cookies off to Nate so you could bend down and throw the toy for Cox. “He’s a good guard dog when it counts,” you said. “Remember when he barked at EJ because he had his teeth in?”

Nate laughed as you followed him into the kitchen. “I think he growled at Burky for like two months, but only if he was wearing a hat.” He tilted the Tupperware of cookies up to the light. “Jesus, how many cookies did you fucking bake? You know I can’t eat any of these, right?”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, whatever, don’t front. You and Tyson used to eat all sorts of shit I would bake during the season. And your sister asked for snickerdoodles, and I wanted to try a new recipe for gingerbread, so y’all get to be the guinea pigs for it, too.”

Nate’s eyes widened, and he tore the lid off the container and dug through it until he came up with a gingerbread cookie.  “Fuck, Y/N, I love you,” he groaned, mouth full of cookie, before he froze. “I didn’t- I’m sorry. These are really good, though.”

All you said was, “Don’t talk with your mouth full, MacKinnon,” just to see Nate’s blush. His words, however accidental, however impulsive, were still ringing in your ears, and you were trying not to think about them. 

Nate finished his cookie in silence. Cox had come back and was nudging your hand so you would throw his toy again. Outside the kitchen window, it had started to snow, fat white flakes floating by. You threw Cox’s toy a couple more times, watching as he skittered off down the hall.

“Big, scary German shepherd, my ass,” you muttered as Cox slid and wiped out on the hardwood. His tail was still wagging.

The snow was falling harder already. “I should get home before I get snowed in here,” you said, reaching for your keys.

Nate looked out the window, alarmed. “Like hell you are. It’s dark and already snowing hard. I don’t want you driving home in this.”

“Nate,” you sighed.

“I know, I know. But it’s too fucking dangerous for you to drive, and you can have the guest room and Cox, and I’ll stay out of your way. I meant what I said about leaving you alone when you closed the door. I just don’t want anything to happen to you.”

You sighed, looking over Nate’s shoulder at the snow falling outside the window. It really was falling fast already, quickly becoming a blizzard. You shivered in spite of yourself. 

“Fine, but I’m taking you up on sharing a bed with Cox.”

Nate grinned, and it hit you that you could never make yourself hate that smile. 

Cox trailed after you to the living room, but Nate lingered in the kitchen. You could hear him banging through cabinets and drawers. At one point, he called out, “Where’s the- never mind!” You and Cox just shared a look. 

Eventually Nate came into the living room, balancing two mugs of hot chocolate and a plate full of gingerbread cookies. You raised an eyebrow, but Nate just shrugged.

“It’s cold outside. By the way, you might need to make more gingerbread before Sarah comes.”

“I thought cookies weren’t on the diet,” you teased. Nate’s ears turned red, and you laughed.

“Don’t tell anyone,” he said, taking a bite to punctuate his sentence.

A quiet fell again, and outside the window, so did the snow. You ran your fingers through Cox’s fur absentmindedly as you sipped your hot chocolate.

“Is that really what you want, Nate? Someone who doesn’t even like hockey?” you blurted. You didn’t regret shattering the careful atmosphere of the house.

Nate grimaced, and he rushed to set his mug down, nearly spilling hot chocolate on the rug. He turned to look at you. “Fuck, no, Y/N, I- I have never regretted anything more in my life. And regrets do fuck-all to fix things, I know that, but I want you to know that, given the opportunity, I would go back to the beginning of last season and change it all. I could still play the worst hockey of my career, and I wouldn’t care as long as I got to keep you at the end of it all.”

“Nate, some of the things you said...I spent so many nights awake last summer, thinking about them, wondering what I could’ve done better or differently, wondering if it was all my fault,” you said. You didn’t wipe away the tear that slid down your cheek. 

Nate looked like he wanted to reach out to touch you. “I believed what I said at the time, fuck, I was so stupid. One of the things I’ve always loved most about you is that you loved hockey before you met me. You understood hockey. And suddenly I had someone in my life who loved the sport I loved, but also loved me. You knew when to talk about the game with me, and you knew when to distract me. You would have loved me even without the hockey, and I was so fucking destructive, so fucking stupid that I threw it all away.” Nate’s blue eyes were clouded with tears now, too. 

“Where did I go wrong, Nate? Where did we go wrong?”

This time Nate did reach out for you, lunging across the couch to grab your hands, sliding down to his knees next to you. “No, no, fuck no. None of this is on you; it never was. I thought then that what I needed was the anonymity to ground me, but what I’ve always needed was you.” 

You let out a sob, wrenched one of your hands away from Nate’s to cover your mouth. Nate grabbed your wrist and tugged your hand back down, brushing a tear away with his thumb as he did. 

“You’re the one who’s always kept me grounded, got me out of my head when I would start to freak out. You never gave a fuck about who I was. I could just be Nate with you.”

You sat still for a moment, trying to process Nate’s words. “I left Denver because I couldn’t handle seeing your fucking face everywhere. Because no matter what you did, you would always be Nathan MacKinnon, face of the Colorado Avalanche. But you fucking destroyed me, Nate. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to trust myself or anyone else again. I didn’t know if I’d ever want to come back to Denver again. I hated myself for still loving someone who had proved that he could forget about me so easily.” You broke off with another sob; Nate rubbed his thumb across the back of your hand absently. “I meant what I said about not being able to do this again. I can’t just jump headfirst into the deep end. I can’t go back to the way things were, no matter how much I want to. I just can’t.”

Nate smiled, but it was small. “I don’t think I could ask you to go back to the way things were. I don’t wanna ask you to start over and forget everything, either. I don’t deserve that. But you’re here. And I wanna know if you’re willing to try, let me prove that I can do this right this time.” 

You sighed and looked away. Nate’s eyes, intense and cautiously hopeful, were too much to look at. “I don’t know, Nate.” Nate visibly deflated. “It’s not a no,” you added. “Just… I don’t know.” You were still gazing around the living room. It was the week before Christmas, but there weren’t any decorations anywhere, not even a tree. “Hey, where are all of our Christmas decorations?” you asked.

Nate shrugged and stood up. “Didn’t feel right, without you, I guess. Just never really seemed like Christmas,” he admitted. You pouted a little at him, but he just rolled his eyes.

Christmas had always been your favorite holiday, and, over the years, you had brought Nate around to loving it just as much as you did. 

You and Nate had only been dating a couple of weeks by the time the holiday season rolled around. Nate didn’t seem nearly as enthusiastic about Christmas as you were, even though this would be your first Christmas in Denver, away from your family. 

“Nate, where are your Christmas decorations?” you called, standing in the entryway and looking at Nate’s barren house at the beginning of December. 

He poked his head out of a doorway. “I have a tree?” he said. You must’ve looked appalled, because he added, “I don’t really need that much. We’re gone so much, it doesn’t feel like it’s worth the effort.”

“Okay, change of plans!” you said, already slipping your boots back on. Nate groaned, but he came into the hallway, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow at you. “I wanted to get some new decorations for my apartment, and now you’re coming, too, so we can decorate this wasteland you call a house.”

“Hey! My mom did a lot of the decorating in here!” 

“Yes, and it still looks exactly like the house of a twenty-something professional athlete who doesn’t give a fuck aboout aesthetic or interior design. Now, come on, put your shoes on, let’s go!”

Nate groaned again, but he grabbed his keys and put on shoes. “Fine, but I’m driving,” he said, leaning down to give you a quick kiss. You grinned at him.

You already had most of the decorations you needed for your small apartment, but Nate’s house had pretty much nothing, and Nate had absolutely no idea how much time you could spend shopping, especially when it came to Christmas decorations.

You ended up dragging him to four stores over the course of a couple hours, with the promise of “I swear it won’t take long in there” every time. It never was true. By the end, the trunk of Nate’s car was filled with bags of decorations, including some cute wrapping paper and bows you had insisted he buy.

“You know I can’t wrap a present, right?” he had asked when you put the wrapping paper in the cart. You had let out a frustrated groan, poking him between the ribs.

“Well, guess you’re gonna have to learn, MacKinnon, because I am not wrapping your presents for you.”

It took the two of you nearly ten minutes to haul all the bags back into the house, with Cox excitedly running back and forth with you on each trip. Nate collapsed on the couch. 

“Babe, I’m tired,” he said. Cox, still excited, leaped onto his stomach. “Oof, bud, rude.”

“Did you still want to cook, or do you want to order something?” you asked, digging through a bag for the wreath you wanted to hang on the front door.

Nate checked his watch. “What about that one bar we went to last week? They had good food.” 

You nodded, now looking for the stocking you had insisted Nate buy for Cox.

After a couple more hours, Nate’s house had been decorated to your satisfaction, with lights, candles and garland. You had made Nate turn on Christmas music while you worked, and more than once you caught him smiling at you as you sang along. Nate was now slumped on the couch again. You threw a throw pillow at him.

“See, I told you it would feel more like a home if you decorated.” Nate sighed and hugged the pillow to his chest without opening his eyes, which you knew meant that you were right but he didn't want to admit to it. “Do you want to go to bed?” you asked. Nate nodded silently. The Avs didn’t have an early practice in the morning, and as the hours had ticked on while you decorated, Nate had told you to stay the night instead of driving home.

“Hey, wait,” Nate said suddenly as you walked through the doorway, tugging your wrist and spinning you around into his chest. “Isn’t there some tradition to do with kissing?”

“I didn’t buy mistletoe, Nate,” you teased, but you let Nate lean down to kiss you anyway, slow and deep, with one hand on the small of your back and the other cupping your cheek.

You got ready for bed in a comfortable silence. You were still humming the words to a Christmas song. Cox was waiting on the bed for you when you left the bathroom. Nate made him move over so you could have room on the bed, but he did so begrudgingly. You hadn’t been planning on staying, so you were drowning in one of Nate’s T-shirts.

You curled into his chest, and when he spoke, his voice rumbled beneath your ear. “You should come to the Christmas family skate with me,” he said casually, but you could feel his tenseness where your hand was resting on his hip. 

You pulled back to look at him. “You know I can’t skate, right?” And other than seeing Tyson Barrie a handful of times, mostly in passing, you hadn’t met any of Nate’s teammates, and you weren’t going to lie and say you weren’t a little nervous about the idea. 

“You’ll be surrounded by hockey players, babe. I’ll make sure you don’t fall, don’t worry.”

Nate broke you out of your reverie. “Would you- did you want to decorate? I can get everything out.” He sounded unsure. Decorating for Christmas had become an all-day affair over the years, complete with baking cookies and watching holiday movies. 

You thought about it for a second. Nate had been right, something about Christmas felt off this year, like something– or someone, you supposed wryly–  was missing.

“You go get the boxes, I’ll make more hot chocolate, and I get to pick the music.”

“Always,” Nate smiled, bright and wide and real, almost relieved that you’d been willing. 

Something told you that no one had seen a lot of that smile recently. 

While you waited for Nate to dig out the boxes of Christmas decorations, you stole his Bluetooth speaker to connect your Christmas playlist, and turned on the gas fireplace. Instantly, the room felt warmer and more welcoming.

Almost like home.

Nate set one of the boxes down with a thud, startling you. “Alright, here’s the tree, and we’ve still got like four more boxes, because someone has no self control when it comes to buying Christmas decorations.”

You blushed a little, but looked straight at Nate when you said, “Well, let’s get started then.”

You moved easily around each other, falling into a rhythm. You were mostly quiet, aside from Nate asking you where things went, and both of you singing along to songs, but it wasn’t awkward or tense like most of your silences had been of late. Nate didn’t even complain when you threw a throw pillow at him.

“Where Are You Christmas” began playing, Faith Hill’s voice filling the living room, and you smiled as Nate stretched to put the star on top of the tree. He turned and saw you looking at him; he walked over to you, slipping one arm around your waist.

“Whatcha thinking about?” he asked quietly.

“Feels like Christmas again,” you murmured. 

Nate wrapped his other arm around you and tugged you in for a hug. You wrapped your arms around him, solid and strong like he’d always been, and let yourself lean into it. You stayed like that for several minutes, long enough for the song to end and another one to start. The living room had been mostly decorated, and behind Nate, the tree filled the room with a warm light. You could see the two salt dough ornaments you had made for your second Christmas together, when Nate gave you a key to his house and asked if you would move in, and when you had wrangled Cox into making one with his pawprint.

The song changed again. You smiled against Nate’s shirt. They’re singing ‘Deck the Halls’ but it’s not like Christmas at all, ‘cause I remember when you were here, and all the fun we had last year. Nate rested his chin on the top of your head; he was warm, chasing away the chill you still felt from the snow outside.

Cox nudged his way in between you, never wanting to miss anything, effectively ruining the moment. He jumped up, placing his paws gently on Nate’s chest. 

“Oh, do you wanna be in on the hug too, buddy?” Nate asked, ruffling Cox’s ears. You smiled at them as Cox wagged his tail, trying to fight back a yawn, but Nate noticed anyway. “It’s getting pretty late, isn’t it? Do you want to borrow something to sleep in?”

You had spent the day baking, so you weren’t dressed nicely, but it would be nice to wear something else to sleep in. Nate left you in the guest bathroom with an extra toothbrush, and an old, well-worn Avalanche T-shirt. Cox was laying on the floor, waiting for you. 

It felt strange, wearing one of Nate’s oversized T-shirts, in the house you once called home, sleeping in the guest room like a stranger. Everything was so familiar, but you no longer felt like you belonged. You were on your phone under the blankets when Cox jumped off the bed and whined at the closed door. 

“What is it, baby?” you asked, peering through the dark. You could just barely make out Cox’s dark eyes staring back at you. He whined again, this time pawing at the bottom of the door. “You wanna go sleep with Nate? C’mon.”

You pushed the blankets back and climbed out of the bed. Sleep didn’t seem to be coming any time soon, anyway. Cox whined again as you walked across the room and opened the door. He took a step out into the hall before turning back to look at you again. 

You groaned. “Cox, I know you know where the bedroom is. Go find Nate.” Cox took a couple steps, but stopped when he saw you weren’t following him. “Stupid dog, let’s go.”

Cox ran ahead as you made your way to the closed bedroom door. He sat next to you, looked up at you with his tongue hanging out, and you knocked quietly on the door. 

“Yeah?” Nate didn’t sound like he’d been asleep, either. 

“Cox wants to sleep with you, apparently.” Nate chuckled, and you heard his footsteps on the other side of the door. 

You took a step back as he pulled it open. “I thought you didn’t like me anymore?” he asked. Cox ignored him and leaped onto the bed. You both laughed as he settled in, looking very pleased with himself. You were on your way back to the guest room when you heard Nate speak softly again. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

Ten minutes later, you were still scrolling aimlessly through your phone when it vibrated with a text. “he won’t stop whining at the door.” You frowned before replying. 

“that’s what he was doing in here. I thought he just wanted to be with you.”

There was a longer pause before Nate replied again; you were about to set your phone down and try to sleep. “I think he wants both of us” Then: “come to bed?”

You stared at that text until your screen went dark. You could go to sleep and pretend that it never happened, but something was stopping you. Something about the night you and Nate had shared gave you the distinct sensation that your relationship had shifted again. You still weren’t sure where you stood, not really, but thinking about your relationship no longer came with the sharp edge of heartbreak it had held for so long.

You crept out into the hallway again. Down the stairs, the soft glow of all of the Christmas lights you had put up still lit up the house. The door to your old bedroom was still solidly closed. You could picture Nate tangled up in the sheets, like he always used to be, with Cox stretched out near his feet. You paused with your hand on the doorknob. 

You could turn back now, and no one would know. You wondered vaguely, what kind of woman it made you, to even consider fixing a relationship with the man who cheated on you. Did it make you weak? Were you a fool? What did it mean that Nate had destroyed your trust, and you were willing to give it back to him, however broken?

You twisted the doorknob. As light from the hall flooded into the room, you could see Cox sitting up on the bed, staring at the door, and Nate was leaned up against the headboard. When he smiled at you, his teeth flashed white in the dimness.

Cox was thumping his tail against the bed. “Seriously, do you guard against anything?” you whispered as he licked your hand.

Nate was quiet as you set your phone down on the bedside table and settled into bed. “He’s pretty good at guarding my heart,” he whispered. There was an infinity of space between the two of you on the bed, but Cox was warm against your feet. 

“I think it took him three months before he stopped watching my every move when I was over,” you said back. “Too bad he couldn’t protect me against a broken heart.” Nate sucked in a sharp breath. You rolled over before he could respond.

The two of you laid in the dark and silence for a while; you couldn’t tell how much time had passed, but eventually you fell asleep.

When you woke up in the morning, you found yourself tangled with Nate. His bare feet were cold against your legs, but his hand was warm where it had slipped under your– his, really– T-shirt. Your face was tucked into his chest, and you could feel his slow, gentle breaths stirring your hair. 

Outside, the sun glinted off the snow, bitterly cold, but inside, in this bed, you were warm and cozy, Nate’s arm across your hip a comforting weight.  You closed your eyes and let yourself drift off to sleep again.

When you awoke again, Nate was awake, but he had pulled you closer. You tilted your chin up to meet his eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” he breathed. You weren’t sure what he was apologizing for anymore. 

You laid like that for a few minutes more before Cox stuck his nose under the sheets and whined. You laughed as Nate squirmed away from the cold.

“I think someone wants breakfast,” you said, stretching. Cox’s ears perked up. 

“C’mon, buddy,” Nate sighed.

When you wandered downstairs a few minutes later, Nate was standing in the kitchen, making breakfast. He had turned on Christmas music again and was singing along with Mariah Carey. You only barely resisted the urge to sneak your phone out and record him. As it was, you stood and watched him for a moment, leaning against the island with a small smile on your face. Eventually, Nate felt your eyes on his back and turned around.

“Still like your eggs the same way?” he asked. You had never changed the way you took your eggs in all the years you had known Nate, so you nodded. Nate had already turned back to the stove.

Things were awkward again in the daylight, the rawness of all the talking done the night before too much for the sunshine. You watched and waited as Nate put eggs on two plates, pulled some fruit out of the fridge, and slid you a mug of coffee. It was still hot, and made just the way you liked it. 

“They should have the roads cleared soon, and you can get home,” Nate said, breaking the silence. You looked up at him, startled, but his eyes were focused on his plate. Right. Time to break the spell and return to the real world. Christmas music was still playing quietly, but now it felt wrong.

“Oh, shit, I’m gonna have to clean off my car,” you groaned.

“I’ll help you,” Nate said easily, and maybe things didn’t quite have to go back to the way things were. 

Christmas passed without further incident, although André did text you and ask for more gingerbread cookies. Nate continued texting you, but now you started responding every once in a while, even sending him something first a couple of times. When Nate dropped Cox off the night before a road trip, he came with takeout from your favorite restaurant. EJ started texting you more, too, asking pointed questions about when you would come to a game or hang out with the guys.

You had been avoiding them, it was true, and you missed them, but you weren’t entirely sure that you could handle all of them. It turned out that you couldn’t avoid them any longer when Mel and Aleks invited– insisted, more like– you to come to a game with them just after the new year. 

You told them that you would think about it and took a full two days to respond. You said yes; you always knew you would say yes. You decided not to tell any of the boys that you’d be going, but you got a text from every other wife and girlfriend, all telling you how excited they were to see you again.

You found yourself getting excited, too, despite the lingering anxiousness of seeing Nate around all of his teammates. You’d always loved the energy of hockey games, and the Pepsi Center was no exception. It was thrilling, in a way, and it always seemed more energizing when you were dating one of the players down on the ice, listening to thousands of fans scream his name, knowing that you were the one who got to hold him after a game.

Now, though, you knew that you hadn’t been the only one who got to see Nate, to kiss him, after a game.

You drove to the Can with Mel and Linnea. You weren’t wearing your MacKinnon jersey, just a sweater and jeans; you had seen the jersey shoved in the back of your closet when you were getting ready, and paused, but you didn’t think you were ready for that, not yet. To her credit, Mel hadn’t commented on it when you climbed into her car. 

The Pepsi Center was as frenzied and intoxicating as you remembered it. The Avs’ last season had turned out to be a fluke, and the team was tearing up the Western Conference. Ashley Kadri laughed at you when she saw you simply staring around the arena like a child at their first hockey game, a giant grin on your face, but she draped her arm across your shoulders, pulling you in and saying, “Welcome back, girl.”

The Avalanche won in a wild battle against the Blues that saw Nate with two goals. You couldn’t help but think that you didn’t have a hat to throw if he had scored a third goal. 

The girls roped you into coming down to the family room to wait for your boys after the game. The adrenaline high of the game was wearing off, and you were nervous all over again about seeing Nate. Maybe you should’ve told him you were coming, you thought, as you chewed anxiously on your bottom lip. You didn’t think he’d get upset that you were at a game, he used to love it when you came to games, but things were so different now.

You were knocked out of your thoughts by a half-dressed, curly head of hair barrelling into you. You laughed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders for balance as he clutched onto your waist.

“Christ, Burky, I saw you, like, last week.”

André squeezed you tighter. “Yeah, but now you’re at a game! You haven’t come to a game in ages!”

“Let her breathe, Burk,” Gabe said from somewhere behind you. André let go, but didn’t move far away from you. “He’s right, though. You’ve been avoiding us.”

“God, you sound like EJ. Can you blame me for not wanting to see you guys?” You heard the defensiveness creep into your tone. Gabe just shrugged.

“Leave her alone, both of you.” It was Nate’s voice this time. You spun around to face him, and Burky took a half step in front of you. 

Nate didn’t seem to notice, though, because his eyes were on you. You knew he saw that you weren’t wearing his jersey, but his eyes lingered on the necklace that hung around your throat, the same one he had given you three years ago.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” he said. You bit your lip again. EJ appeared over Nate’s shoulder, like he could sense the tension, and was ready for a fight. “Shit, I mean, come here, yeah?” 

You dashed around Burky and into Nate’s arms. He had already showered, and you buried your face in his chest, breathed in the familiar smell of his soap and deodorant, as he held you. Distantly, you heard some of the other boys cheering, and Gabe shushing them. Nate pulled away from you and walked you over to a quieter hallway around the corner.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” Nate repeated once the din of the rest of his team faded away.

You shrugged. “It was kinda an impulsive decision,” you lied, but Nate smirked at you.

“You never do anything impulsive. Besides, your hair and makeup are done, and it’s a Saturday night.” You stuck your tongue out at him instead of responding. Nate’s eyes softened as they caught the necklace you were wearing again. “I thought you would’ve gotten rid of that by now,” he said. 

Instinctively, your hand went up to fidget with the pendant. “I hadn’t been wearing it, but I thought I could tonight.”

Nate smiled sadly at you. “That was a nice night, wasn’t it?”

Your smile matched Nate’s. “Everything was nice back then.”

Your first anniversary with Nate actually fell in the middle of a road trip. Nate had called you to apologize when the schedule first came out, but you had just laughed and told him it wasn’t his fault.

He apologized again when you were sitting on his bed while he packed for the road trip. This time you stood up and wrapped your arms around Nate’s neck, going up on your toes to peck his lips.

“Babe, it’s fine, I get it,” you told him. “Cox and I will still be here when you get back.” Nate finally smiled at that.

“We’ll go out and celebrate properly then, I promise,” he said, tossing a pair of socks behind you at his suitcase. He missed. “By the way, can I have that hoodie back?”

You pulled the sleeves of his way-too-big hoodie over your hands. “What hoodie?” you asked innocently.

Nate laughed before wrapping his arms around your waist and picking you up. He tossed you easily onto the bed, and you shrieked as you bounced. And then Nate was on top of you, propped up on his forearms. He kissed you once, twice, and then a third time, deeper than the other two. You reached up and tangled your fingers in his hair. 

Nate pulled back just enough to murmur “I love you” against your lips before he was kissing you again. 

Downstairs, Nate’s doorbell rang, and Cox started barking. Nate buried his face in your neck and groaned. You scratched your nails down Nate’s neck; he melted into you.

“Tyson’s early,” you said. Nate groaned again. Cox was still barking at the door. “You should get off of me and finish packing.”

“Maybe if we ignore him he’ll just go away,” Nate said, voice still muffled into your shoulder. 

“Have you even met your best friend?” you asked, poking Nate in the ribs. He just rested his weight more solidly on top of you. As if to further prove your point, the doorbell rang again. 

Nate heaved a sigh and rolled off of you.

Nate ended up kicking you out of the bedroom while he finished packing, calling you a “distraction” and a “sweatshirt thief.” You settled for sitting on the couch with your feet on Tyson’s lap, Cox happily between the two of you, his head resting on your outstretched legs.

“So, what are you two doing for your anniversary?” Tyson asked, nosy as ever. 

“Fuck if I know,” you said. “Nate gave me his credit card one day last week to buy a dress, but he won’t tell me anything else about what we’re doing.”

Tyson laughed, and you kicked him. “Ow, rude!” Nate came down the stairs with his suitcase then. “Nathan, your girlfriend is being mean to me.”

“You probably deserved it,” Nate said flatly. Tyson looked absolutely affronted. Nate cut him off before he could say something indignant. “Come on, we’re gonna be late for the plane.” He shot you a grin and dropped a kiss on your head as he headed for the front door.

Tyson  grumbled as he shoved your feet off his lap and stood up, following Nate. 

“Text me when you land!” you called after them. Nate made a noise that might have been a “duh” at you before closing the front door. “Well, I guess it’s just us again, bud,” you said, looking at Cox, who decided he no longer wanted to be on the couch with you and flopped onto the floor.

When Nate Skyped you for your virtual date on your anniversary, you were surprised that he was in a button-down instead of his usual sweatshirt. You, on the other hand, were in an old Mooseheads sweatshirt that you had commandeered from Nate’s closet.

“Shit,” you said, “I didn’t know I was supposed to dress up for this.” 

Nate laughed; that was a sound you’d never get tired of hearing. “I’m still wearing sweatpants, don’t worry.”

You were in the kitchen this time, instead of curled up on Nate’s bed, as Nate had insisted that you eat dinner together, even going as far to order you a pizza from your favorite pizza place and have it delivered to you. Nate let you talk about your day at work while you ate, and then he told you about the practice they’d had that morning, and how the rookies were goofing off and got everyone in trouble. 

You talked for hours, you sitting at his kitchen table, Nate at the desk in his hotel room. It was getting late, and you stretched, Nate’s sweatshirt riding up your stomach.

“Hang on, what the hell did you do to my sweatshirt?” Nate asked, cutting himself off in the middle of a story.

You tugged the sweatshirt back down. You had gotten bored and cropped it, and you didn’t think Nate would ever notice. “I cropped it?” you said, more of a question.

“Babe, that could’ve been a collectible someday! And you destroyed it!”

You rolled your eyes. “I’ve never even seen you wear it, and I can promise you no one is going to think this will be a collectible one day. Besides, I can still wear it just fine.” You stood up, ready to go to bed, and your stomach flashed a little again.

Nate shrugged. “Okay, maybe I don’t mind it being cropped.”

Nate came home late a couple of days later. He was trying to be quiet as he came into the bedroom, but he tripped over Cox, who was sprawled out on the floor. He stripped out of his suit quickly, leaving it in a pile on the floor to deal with in the morning, before crawling into bed and laying half on top of you. The Avs had lost two out of three games on the trip, and you had winced more than once as you watched one of the guys take a rough hit. 

“Happy anniversary, babe,” he mumbled, already half-asleep. 

“That was a couple of days ago, baby,” you said softly, running your fingers through his hair. Nate hugged you tighter, but didn’t justify you with a response. 

When you woke up in the morning, Nate was still clinging to you, an overgrown, hockey-player-sized koala. The sun was streaming into the bedroom, which told you you’d both slept in much later than usual. Nate snuffled a little in his sleep, and you smiled down at him. 

You were still gazing at him when he started to wake up, snuggling in closer for a moment before rolling onto his back and stretching.

“Morning,” he yawned, before tugging you until you were on top of him this time, cuddling to his satisfaction. “We could stay like this all day, y’know,” he mumbled.

“I believe I was promised pancakes,” you said back. Nate sighed.

The two of you laid there for a while, just content to be close, until your stomach started growling. Nate laughed before pushing you off of him and getting up. You followed him down into the kitchen and watched as he pulled out all the things to make pancakes, including mix for some stupidly healthy kind that he insisted that he still had to eat.

The sounds of the coffee maker and Nate humming along to the radio filled the kitchen while you cut up some fruit. Nate only burnt a couple of the pancakes. 

You both laid around for most of the day, since you had the day off, and Nate skipped his optional skate. Cox seemed very happy to have both of his people around for the whole day. It wasn’t until late afternoon that Nate stood up, stretched and told you he was going to go shower. You lazed around on your phone for a while longer, until you heard Nate come out of the bathroom.

“My turn,” you said, coming into the bedroom. Nate shot you a look. “No coming into the bathroom until I come out.”

“But I haven’t seen your dress yet!” he protested. 

“Tell me where we’re going for dinner, and you can see the dress before I put it on,” you told him.

Nate stuck his tongue out at you. 

You emerged forty-five minutes later, makeup done and hair in place; you weren’t going to admit to how long it took you to get your eyeliner even. Nate wasn’t in the bedroom when you stepped out to grab your shoes and purse, so you snuck down the stairs barefoot. 

Nate startled when you put your hand on his shoulder, but when he turned around and saw you, he was struck speechless.

Your new dress was blush-pink velvet, long-sleeved, but with a short enough skirt to show off your legs in your heels. You twirled, albeit slightly self-consciously, for him.

“Do you like it?” you asked.

“I love it,” Nate said, catching you around the waist and pulling you in for a kiss. “I love you,” he added, resting his forehead against yours. “Now get your shoes on, we’re gonna be late for our reservation.

Nate drove, like he always did. It wasn’t until you actually pulled up to the restaurant that you realized where you were going. It was the same restaurant Nate had taken you to for your first date, one of the nicest in Denver; you had scolded him for the extravagance of it then, and you opened your mouth to do it now, but Nate cupped your jaw and gave you a quick kiss before you could.

“Hush, I’m allowed to spoil my girl every once in a while,” he said before opening his door and climbing out of his car. 

You were still fumbling with your seatbelt when Nate came around to your side of the car to help you out. He didn’t move his hand from the small of your back until you were seated, and he settled across the table from you.

You let Nate order the wine, the appetizer, even your meal, because sometimes it seemed like he knew you better than you knew yourself. You kept up conversation throughout dinner, easy talk about anything and everything. You loved that you and Nate could still find things to talk about, even after spending an entire day with each other. 

You were almost through the dessert you were sharing when Nate started getting fidgety. You waited him out until the last plate was cleared, until he swallowed the last of his wine, still didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. You kicked him gently under the table.

“Don’t tell me you brought me here for a nice dinner just to break up with me,” you teased. 

Nate forced a laugh, but he looked less nervous. “On our anniversary? I would wait at least a week before I do that, but also I would never actually do that.” You laughed. “No, I got you something, but I just really want you to like it, and I-”

“Nate,” you said gently, nudging him gently with your foot again as you cut him off.

“Right,” Nate said, reaching into his inner jacket pocket and pulling out a jewelry box. He opened it to reveal a dark red garnet pendant, glowing in the dim restaurant lighting. 

“Oh, Nate, it’s beautiful.”

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Did your mom help you pick this out?” you teased.

“No, but Sarah did,” Nate mumbled, fumbling with the clasp as he tried to take it out of the box. “Turn around, I wanna put it on you.”

You rolled your eyes but turned and pulled your hair to the side so Nate could fasten the clasp around your neck. It hung perfectly just below your collarbones, and when you turned to kiss Nate again, it flashed and sparkled in the lights.

“I love it,” you murmured. In your heels, you didn’t have to stretch so much to kiss Nate. “I love you.”

“Hey,” Nate said, startling you out of your thoughts, “do you still have that Mooseheads sweatshirt you stole that week?”

You blushed, knowing exactly which sweatshirt he was talking about; you had been wearing it just the other day, but Nate didn’t need to know that.

“I thought you forgot about that,” you said.

“How could I forget about that? You cut off half of my sweatshirt!”

Your loud laugh caught the attention of EJ, who came over to throw an arm around each of your shoulders. 

“Alright, you two,” he said, dragging you back towards the rest of the team, “no more secret conversations. If Y/N is yelling at Nate for something, we all wanna hear it.”

Nate ended up insisting that he drive you home, and you found that you didn’t want to fight it. EJ pulled you aside just before you followed Nate out to his car, though, and asked if you were okay with it. The concern in his eyes was endearing, if unnecessary. You assured him that you would be fine, but you could feel him watching you as you walked back to Nate, who was trying very hard to pretend to be interested in something on his phone, and followed him to his car.

Nate connected his phone to the car’s speakers, but he turned on the playlist you used when you were driving. You looked over at him, surprised, but he was resolutely focused on backing out of his parking spot. 

“I didn’t think you still followed this playlist,” you said a few minutes later, after you had listened to Nate sing along to a Bastille song, the lights of Denver flashing by the windows.

He shrugged, still not looking at you, but he turned up the volume. “I still listen to it sometimes when we go on road trips,” was all he said. 

Nate started FaceTiming you from the road again. At first, he claimed it was so he could check in on Cox, but eventually he stopped asking to talk to the dog and just sat with you for hours. More than once you woke up with your phone still in your hand, having fallen asleep while talking to Nate. 

Nate came to pick up Cox one morning in February with a Starbucks in hand for you. It was exactly your order, which made you a little suspicious.

“Not that I’m complaining,” you said as you took a drink of your coffee, “but what’s wrong with the coffee I make here?”

Nate shrugged. He always seemed too large for your small apartment kitchen, but now, with his hands in his pockets and avoiding your gaze, he looked like he was trying to take up as little space as possible. Cox was sitting at his feet.

“Nate, what’s up?” you asked, taking a step across the floor to Nate. You set your coffee cup down on the counter, which made Nate look up at you.

“Do you wanna go on a date with me?” he blurted out. His eyes went wide, like he had surprised himself. “I mean, do you- can we try this all again? I want to do it properly, so, like, will you go out with me?”

You grinned. “Is that why you brought me a Starbucks?” you asked. “Because we met in Starbucks when you took my coffee?”

Nate groaned, but all of the tension dropped out of his shoulders. “That was an accident, and you know it!”

“Mmhmm, you definitely weren’t just looking for an excuse to talk to a pretty girl.” Nate blushed, and you gasped. “You thought I was pretty!”

Nate’s face turned even redder. “Of course I did, how could I not?” Then he added, “I’ve always thought you were pretty.”

You stepped closer to Nate again and stood up on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. “Yes, Nate, I’ll go out with you,” you said.

Nate grinned, wide enough that his dimple appeared, and it hit you just how much you still loved his smile. You stopped yourself from just kissing Nate right there in the middle of your kitchen, but only barely. 

Nate texted you a couple days later to tell you what time he would pick you up. When you asked what you would be doing, all he sent back was “dress warm.” You bugged him about it for a while, but you knew you would never get it out of him. 

True to his word, Nate showed up at your door just as the sun was about to set. He smiled shyly at you as you opened the door. He hovered awkwardly in the doorway as you put on your boots and grabbed your coat.

“Are you ever gonna actually tell me what we’re doing?” you asked as you locked the door.

Nate pretended to think. “Nah.” He punched the elevator button, and your hands brushed together as he brought his back to his side. Nate clenched and unclenched his fingers as the elevator door opened.

As you stepped in and turned around, you took Nate’s hand, twining your fingers together. Nate relaxed and squeezed your hand once. He held your hand all the way out to his car, and then picked it back up once he started driving.

You couldn’t count the number of times the two of you had sat just like this, Nate driving one-handed, his other hand clutching yours across the console. Nate drove into the sunset, out of the city, the only sound in the car the radio and Nate’s occasional curse at another driver. It was a calm, comfortable silence, different than it had been recently with Nate. More like how it had been before. 

Nate drove you all the way out to a field somewhere in the middle of who-knows-where, Colorado. He told you not to move before he climbed out of the car and started pulling things out of the backseat. You couldn’t tell what he was doing out in front of the car in the twilight. 

When Nate finally came to open your door and help you out of the car, you smirked at him. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you drove me all the way out here just to kill me,” you said.

Nate rolled his eyes and tugged your hand harder than necessary, causing you to stumble forward into his chest. He wrapped an arm around your waist to steady you; he was warm against the late winter air. When he looked down at you, his breath came out in a faint cloud. It seemed like any retort he had died on his lips. 

Nate stared down at you for a moment, still holding you to his chest. Then he seemed to shake himself, taking a half step back and taking your hand in his again. He didn’t say anything as he led you over to a blanket he’d spread out on the ground. Nate sat and pulled you down between his legs to lean against his chest.

When he spoke, you could feel his chest vibrating underneath your back. “It’s not much, but we’ve done all the typical dates already. I thought we could just watch the stars for a while.” 

You twisted around to press a kiss to Nate’s jaw. “It’s a perfect idea, Nate.” Even in the dark, you could see Nate’s cheeks turn pink.

“I brought hot chocolate, too,” he said. You hummed and snuggled in against Nate’s chest more. 

He draped another blanket over you before wrapping his arms around you. It wasn’t quite dark enough to see stars yet, so you closed your eyes and just reveled in the fact that you were there, with Nate, and for a moment, you could let yourself forget that everything had changed. You could smell Nate’s cologne, familiar and comforting, and his heartbeat was a steady rhythm beneath you. Nate tucked his nose against your neck, and that’s how the two of you sat for a long time, letting the darkness grow around you.

You shivered; the temperature had dropped with the sun, and even Nate, a walking furnace, could only do so much. 

“Here,” he said, shifting you a little bit so he could reach for the Thermos of hot chocolate. He unscrewed the cap before handing it to you.

You took a long drink, letting the warmth flow through you before handing it back to Nate. You blinked, trying to focus on the stars; you weren’t the greatest with constellations, but you had learned some of them when you were younger. 

Nate followed your gaze and pointed. “That one’s Orion, isn’t it?” You followed Nate’s finger to the three stars that made up Orion’s Belt and nodded. “That and the Big Dipper are the only ones I know,” he said.

“The Big Dipper is actually part of Ursa Major, which is a bear,” you said, tracing out the rest of it with your finger. Nate made an interested noise behind you. You looked back at Orion, following it towards Sirius and Canis Major. “That really bright one is Sirius, the Dog Star.” Nate pressed a kiss to your temple, and you smiled. You paused before pointing at another constellation. “I think that’s Pegasus, with the square, and above it is Cassiopeia.”

“I’m gonna be honest,” Nate murmured, “I can’t really tell what you’re looking at, but the stars are pretty, and I could listen to you talk forever.” He rested his chin on your shoulder. 

“I don’t really know that many more constellations,” you admitted, but you suddenly remembered an old folk myth you had been told every summer as a kid at summer camp about how the stars were created. You started telling it to Nate, carefully so you didn’t leave anything out; you could never tell the story the same way you had grown up hearing it, but Nate seemed invested, anyway.

You spoke quietly in the dark field, the whole world seeming hushed and far away. Nate’s arms tightened around you once you had finished the story. He kissed your temple again, and the two of you fell into a comfortable silence again, until Nate gasped and poked you in the side repeatedly.

“A shooting star!” he said, still poking you. A star had, in fact, streaked across the sky above you. 

“Yes, Nathan, I saw it, now stop poking me!”

“You’re supposed to make a wish, babe,” he said.

You sighed and closed your eyes. There, sitting on the cold ground in a field, wrapped up in Nate and his warmth, you couldn’t imagine ever wishing for anything else. You would give anything for this moment to last forever, for moments like this to become commonplace in your life again.

You sat out under the stars for a little while longer before you started shivering again. Nate laughed at you when he helped you up.

“Shut up, not all of us can be a walking heater,” you said.

“Go sit in the car, I’ll clean everything up, “ he told you, kissing your forehead.

The drive back into Denver was nothing like the drive out of the city. You took Nate’s phone and opened his Spotify, searching for your own playlist. Nate groaned when he saw what you were doing, but let you turn up the volume. You both spent the entire car ride singing along to the songs that came on at the top of your lungs. 

Nate didn’t kiss you when he left you at your apartment door, but he did duck his head and shoot you a shy smile when you told him you’d like to do that again, and it was a start for both of you.

More dates kept getting scheduled, hikes on days off, takeout and a movie on nights in, impromptu ones where Nate showed up at your work with lunch. Nate would ask you about work, or your family, and it really was just like you were getting to know each other all over again. You convinced Nate to start a new show one night, and you ended up binging a whole season, even though he had morning skate and a game the next day. You watched it together again over FaceTime the next weekend, and then it became a standing date. You argued more than once when Nate watched an episode or two without you, but it always ended with smiles and a promise that he wouldn’t do it again. Cox seemed overjoyed that his people were back together, and he always met you at Nate’s front door, his whole body wagging with excitement. 

Mel finally convinced you to come over for a girls night while the Avs were on their California trip. You had been lied to a little bit, as you had been under the impression that all of the girls would be over, but when you showed up at the Landeskog’s house, it was just Mel and Linnea, a box of pizza, and a bottle of your favorite wine. 

“I was led here under false pretenses,” you griped, but you gave Linnea a kiss and swiped a piece of pizza, anyway. 

“Is this a good idea? What we’re doing?” you asked Mel during the second intermission. Mel took a drink of her wine instead of answering. “Mel, answer me, please,” you begged, poking her with your foot.

Mel pursed her lips, eyes carefully focused on the TV. “I’m not going to pretend to know what’s good for either of you,” she said. “But I do know that you’ve both been happier since Christmas. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I were you. But Nate seems like he’s trying so hard, and he’s been asking Gabe for advice all the time. If anything, I think he’s proved that he’s willing to try to change, and I think he’s done a pretty good job at it, too.”

You rubbed Zoey’s ears thoughtfully. “The longer we try to fix this, the more normal it seems. It’s not stilted or awkward anymore. I’m just afraid I’m going to get comfortable again, and I won’t be able to come back from all of this a second time.”

“For what it’s worth,” Mel said, finishing her wine. “Gabe and EJ tell me that he won’t ever go out with the team after games on the road, anymore. Some shit about wanting to set a good example for the younger guys, but even Cale goes out every once in a while.”

You thought about the last time you had seen Cale drunk, all rosy cheeks and awkward limbs, and giggled; Nate had been responsible for getting him home, and he’d ended up crashing in your guest room, and then he laid around all day nursing a hangover. Then you thought about how Nate had started FaceTiming you from hotel rooms again, always at the exact same time, without fail. Maybe you shouldn’t have been surprised that Nate had sworn off the dive bars they went to in every city. 

The game started back up, and you and Mel refocused, letting the conversation die in favor of yelling at the TV.

You started going to games more often again, not every game, but as many as you could handle. You were no longer anxious every time you stood waiting for Nate in the hallway after a game, and he still shot you one of those small, shy smiles every time he saw you. You always told him when you’d be at games now, but he seemed to be surprised every time he saw you outside the locker room, like you would decide you’d had enough, would give up on him. You went out with the boys a couple of times, too, after some particularly fun wins. Nate stuck close to you the entire night those times, plastered to your side, keeping an eye on you when you went to dance or get another drink. 

You heard the boys chirping him about it when they thought you weren’t listening. It was all gentle really, teasing him for guarding you, the old comments about how gone he was for you. You liked the way he blushed all the way up to his ears when they teased him. 

Every time you got ready for your game, the jersey in the back of your closet seemed to be taunting you. The girls were getting less subtle about the looks they gave you when you showed up to games without it. At least you had dug your Avs baseball cap out. 

It was nearing the end of the season, and the Avs were still sitting comfortably at the top of the Conference, just cruising into the playoffs. It was the middle of March before you looked at that jersey with the A on the front and MacKinnon sprawled across the back and tugged it off the hanger and over your head.

Mel didn’t say anything when you climbed into her car, but you saw the small smile before she turned and started driving again. 

The Avs ended up losing. Nate looked dejected when he came out of the locker room, but then he glanced up and saw you standing there in his jersey; he did a double take before you were being swept up in his arms.

Nate hugged you tightly, pressing his face into your hair. You could hear the rest of the boys coming out of the locker room, but the world condensed until it was just you and Nate, wrapped up in each other, warm and safe. You didn’t want to pull away.

Eventually, EJ yelled something about sharing your attention, and you broke apart. Nate had knocked your hat off in his haste, and you quickly dried the few tears that had slipped out as he bent to pick it up. Nate placed it backwards on your head and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“I was afraid I’d never get to see you wearing my number again,” he whispered before EJ was on you.

This year, when April rolled around, the Avalanche didn’t go home quietly to lick their wounds and recover. No, they were back in the playoffs, and they were back with a vengeance. 

“Hey, you’ll- will you come to the playoff games?” Nate asked one afternoon just before Round One started. 

You were lying on his couch with Cox on your chest. You both looked up at Nate’s words, and you craned your neck around to see Nate better where he was standing behind you.

“Do you want me to come to the games?” you asked, a little confused. Nate shuffled his feet and shoved his hands deeper into his sweatpant pockets. 

“Only if you want to,” he muttered. 

You turned fully then, causing Cox to jump off and pout at you. You reached out and grabbed one of Nate’s wrists and pulled him closer to you. He towered over you from your spot on the couch.

“I will be at every single game, and I will be cheering for you while wearing your name across my back,” you told him. Nate blinked down at you. You squeezed his hand and stood up. Nate was still staring after you as you walked out of the living room.

If someone had asked you in August or even October where you’d be if the Avs made it to the playoffs, you could’ve never told them the right answer. You could have never imagined that you would be walking into Pepsi Center for Game 1 against the Oilers, much less that you had been looking forward to this night for days. Your coworkers had all made fun of you that morning because you hadn’t been able to focus at all. They even caught you smiling at your phone when Nate had texted you around lunchtime, telling you how excited he was to see you after the game.

You weren’t going to live that down any time soon. 

You changed into your jersey before leaving work, drove straight to the Pepsi Center, and made it just in time to catch some of warm-ups. Mel pulled you aside as soon as you had said your hellos to everyone and thrust a denim playoff jacket with MacKinnon on the back at you.

“Mel,” you warned.

“Shut up,” she said, shaking the jacket at you. “I know you two still have some issues, but you are dating again, so you’re wearing the fucking jacket.”

You stuck your tongue out at Mel, but took the jacket. It was cute, you thought, looking closer at it. And it was true, you were still moving slowly, but you were technically dating Nate. Mel was still looking pointedly at you with her arms crossed, so you sighed and tugged the jacket on over your jersey. 

The other girls all squealed when you rejoined them, and you lost track of the number of pictures that were taken. You didn’t hesitate to edit your favorites and post them to your Instagram, MacKinnon proudly spread across your shoulders. 

They won, but it was close, and chippy and chirpy as playoff games always were. The boys on the ice were feeding off the energy of the crowd, and the crowd was feeding off the energy of the boys. It was a fight, but the Avalanche left the ice with a win at the end of the night.

The energy was still high, but carefully controlled, by the time all the families made it down to the locker room. One of the double doors stood ajar, and through it you could see the boys bouncing around, all in various states of undress, blasting music and yelling.

Nate was still grinning when he finally made his way out to you. He wrapped you up in a hug without taking a good look at you, but when he let you go, he caught sight of the jacket you were still wearing. He grabbed you by the shoulders and spun you around once before twisting you to face him again.

“Jesus, Mack, you’re making me dizzy, babe,” you laughed.

Nate just hugged you again, this time tighter than the last. 

The series with the Oilers went to seven games, because of course it did. You were starting to suspect that at least three different Avalanche players were secretly nursing injuries, but ignoring them, because of course they were. 

Nate asked you to come over the night before Game 7. He was quiet while he cooked dinner, and even your forced attempts at conversation while you ate fell flat. When Nate stood up and dropped his plate into the sink with a clatter, you jumped up and grabbed his arm, made him face you.

“Nate, I’m not doing this again. You asked me to come over, I’m here, and you’re all shut down like you were all last year.” Something like pain and sadness flashed across Nate’s face. “So you’re either going to talk to me, or I’m going home,” you said. 

Nate rubbed a hand across his face, and he suddenly looked very tired. “I know, I’m sorry, fuck, I’m just worried.”

You wrapped your arms around Nate’s waist and felt him lean into you. “Do you wanna watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine?”

Nate nodded and let you lead him into the living room, but pulled his phone out as soon as he sat down. You had a feeling he was rereading scouting reports again.

“Nope,” you said, plucking his phone out of his hands and locking it. Nate gaped at you for a second before he lunged. You held the phone behind your back, but Nate grabbed you around the waist and threw you onto the couch. He grinned down at you for a moment before he was tickling you, making you giggle and squirm.

“Nate, stop!” you gasped. “You’re not gonna get your phone back.” 

Nate paused, his eyes looking deep into yours. He was still leaning over you, your legs twisted together, and you could feel his breath against your cheeks. He pressed a kiss to your nose.

You found yourself wanting to close the distance between you, kiss Nate for real, but you weren’t sure if you were there yet. 

He hovered over you for a minute more in silence; you hardly dared to breathe. And then Cox barked at something outside, and the moment was over. Nate rolled off of you, but he tugged you up until you were cuddled into his side.

It was another close game the next night, but the team always seemed to play better at home, when the screaming crowd was screaming for them, not against. You watched anxiously as Nate stood on the blue line during the anthems, shuffling his skates back and forth, but he seemed calm, focused. 

When the final buzzer sounded, and the Avs won, you were already on your feet with the rest of Pepsi Center; you weren’t sure you had sat down the entire game.

You jumped into Nate’s arms outside of the locker room, his teammates’ shouts echoing off of the walls around you. 

“I’m so proud of you,” you whispered.

The Avs went down 2-0 to start the second round. You hadn’t been able to make it to the second game because you got stuck at work late, but you had watched from home; you wore your MacKinnon jersey, even though no one was around to see you. It wasn’t a pretty game, either. The Avs had been sloppy and took a lot of penalties, and you could see Nate’s frustration through your TV.

You weren’t surprised, then, when Nate showed up at your apartment door, still in his game-day suit, but looking rumpled and more than a little upset. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to, because you just turned and let him follow you into your apartment.

“Do you want food?” you asked. “I doubt I have anything diet approved, but there’s ice cream and popcorn.”

But Nate shook his head, kicking off his dress shoes and stripping his suit jacket. “Can I change?” he asked instead, holding up a small bag you hadn’t even noticed at first. 

You just nodded and settled on the couch to wait while Nate made his way to your bathroom. When he came back in a hoodie and sweatpants, he looked distinctly less stiff, but there was still something like pain in his eyes.

“C’mere,” you said softly, tugging him onto the couch with you. You let Nate maneuver the two of you until you were on your back with Nate squarely on your chest, your arms wrapped around his shoulders. Only then could you feel some of the tension in his back and shoulders start to disappear.

The minutes passed in silence for a while before Nate spoke. “Did you watch?”

“Uh-huh,” you replied, idly rubbing Nate’s back in circles. 

“Was it as bad as it seemed on the ice?”

You paused. “Worse. You guys were a mess,” you said honestly. Nate sighed and pressed his face deeper into your chest. “What happened? We all know you guys are better than that.”

Nate shrugged as best as he could from his position on top of you. Honestly, he made for a great weighted blanket, but he was starting to crush you a little.  “Would you come to the games this weekend? If I got you a plane ticket?” he asked suddenly. “I know you have to work on Friday, and you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but-”

You moved your hand into Nate’s hair, and he stopped talking. When he lifted his head and rested his chin on your collarbone, he looked nervous. You carded your fingers through his hair, once, twice, watching Nate’s eyes close before you answered with a question of your own. “Do you want me there?” you asked. It wasn’t the first time you had asked Nate this question since the playoffs had started, but you needed to hear the words straight from his mouth. Needed to hear him say he wanted you, needed you, that whatever was happening between you wasn’t one-sided. 

This time, Nate didn’t look away from your eyes when he answered you. “Yes.”

You insisted that Nate stay the night, although he didn’t put up much of a fight. You had eventually turned on a movie, and he had started smiling more, but you could still see the desolate look in his eyes. You had seen a lot of that look last season.

You were laying in the dark, both of you on your sides facing each other. Nate’s eyes were closed, but you could tell he wasn’t asleep yet. You were busy tracing the lines in his forehead, his jawline hidden beneath the playoff beard, wondering what he would do if you reached out for real and touched his face, when he asked you a question.

“Do you think we can do this?” His eyes were open now, that blue you loved so much clouded with doubt.

You did reach out and touch Nate’s face then, brushing your thumb across the creases in his forehead and then his cheek. “I know you can do this,” you said confidently. That confidence must have shown through in your voice, because Nate lifted his hand to yours and smiled at you.

You fell asleep holding hands. 

St. Louis was hot. It was still only late spring, but it was humid as hell as soon as you stepped off the plane. You had managed to take Friday off, and Nate had pulled some strings to get you a room in the team hotel on short notice, but you still had to fly in and Uber to the hotel on your own.

Nate hugged you hello, but it was Burky who dragged you off to take a pregame nap with him. You grinned at Nate over your shoulder, and you were pleased that he looked distinctly disgruntled.

Enterprise Center was just as loud as the Pepsi Center had been during Round 1. You stood out in your burgundy jersey in a mass of blue. You got some looks as you made your way through the concourse towards your seat. You wondered vaguely if Nate had to call in any favors with Brayden or Ryan to get you tickets to the games. You weren’t sure when you had last been to a hockey game without the rest of the Avs’ WAGs by your side; it felt strange to be alone. 

Nate’s eyes searched the crowd during warm-ups. He finally found you and smiled stupidly at you, until Burky went flying into him, and they both went sprawling. 

The Avalanche won, 3-0 in a game that silenced the crowd at Enterprise.

Nate hadn’t been able to get you a VIP pass, so you made your way out onto the street with the rest of the fans, except you were the only one excited that the Blues had lost. Nate texted you while you waited for an Uber: “wait up for me at the hotel?”

You smiled down at your phone. “of course.”

You were still in the hotel lobby when the team poured off the bus. They were loud still, and you could tell that they were lighter than they had been earlier that night. EJ beat everyone else over to you. 

“Y/N, you’re officially our good luck charm, and you’re never allowed to miss another game,” he told you. 

You laughed and leaned into EJ’s side. “I’ll be sure to tell my work that,” you said. 

EJ rested his chin on the top of your head as you both watched several of his teammates play-fight near the doors. “Who knows, maybe they’ll thank you for it.”

Nate made his way over to the two of you. He was laughing at something Gravy was saying, and you took a moment to look at how his eyes crinkled when he laughed like that. 

“Trying to steal my girl, Eej?” he asked, wrapping an arm around your waist. 

You tried not to think about how pleased it made you feel to hear Nate call you his girl again. 

“Always,” EJ replied easily, but let you go to follow Nate to the elevators. 

As the doors closed behind you, Nate pulled you close. “Thank you for coming tonight,” he mumbled. 

You tilted your head up to look at him and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “I wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else right now,” you told him, and you meant it. 

You dragged a bunch of the boys to the zoo the next morning. JT sat on a bench in the butterfly house long enough that a butterfly landed on his hat. Josty, on the other hand, was weirdly fascinated by all of the insects, and you had to tell him more than once not to run inside. EJ and Cale complained until you went into the penguin house. You had to tell Z that he was almost certainly too big to fit on the train, but you couldn’t convince any of them that they couldn’t go on the carousel; they insisted you go on it with them. You took a great video of a highly-amused Burky playing with the seals at the glass. 

Nate held your hand the entire time you walked. When you pulled your phone out to take the video of Burky, you found that you had several texts from the boys, all pictures of you and Nate. Nate tugging your hand to go look at the elephants. Nate smiling at you while you laughed at Tyson. Nate reaching for you while you sat next to him on the carousel.

You saved all of them to your camera roll. 

The Avs won the next night, too, and suddenly the series was tied. Nate asked you to come to his hotel room after the game, and you both fell asleep while watching a movie. 

The Pepsi Center was deafening on the night of Game 5, and soon the Avs were up 3-2 in the series, instead of being on the verge of elimination. The team was playing with a new energy, too, and you thought they may have been yelling louder than the crowd when Mikko scored to end it in overtime. 

They went back to St. Louis, and Nate FaceTimed you from his hotel room. You could hear EJ and Gabe arguing over what to order from room service in the background. 

“I miss you,” Nate said when you answered the call.

“We miss you, too!” Gabe yelled from somewhere on the other side of the room. Nate rolled his eyes.

When EJ flopped down on the bed next to Nate, he groaned, but let him rest his head on his shoulder to talk to you too. 

You watched alone from your couch as they fought through Game 6. You stopped breathing for a while when Cale took a bad hit and disappeared off the bench for part of the second period, but he came back and scored a goal during his first shift. Burky scored a goal, too, and you thought for a minute he was going to fight Brayden Schenn until Nate stepped in. The game was still tied going into the third, and then it was halfway through the third, and then suddenly the puck was flying off Naz’s stick and landing neatly in the net behind Binnington. 

Your scream might have woken a few neighbors.

Nate FaceTimed you from the locker room, and soon your screen was filled with the sweaty, but happy, faces of the boys, all clamoring to say hi to you. Nate eventually fought them off, and it was just him and his broad shoulders on your phone, and you wished you were there to hug him. 

You all watched from Gabe’s house as San Jose beat the Flames in 7, and the Conference Finals became a rematch of the 2019 playoffs. 

André got injured in Game 1, some lower body thing that had probably been bothering him for weeks, but eventually his leg gave out on the ice. He showed up at your apartment door the way Nate had in the second round. 

“Nate said something about comfort cuddles?” was what he said when you pulled open your door and raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Come in here, you idiot,” you said. 

You tried not to notice how he limped through your doorway and into your living room. He flopped gracelessly onto your couch, curls peeking out from underneath his baseball hat. 

“Do you want junk food?” you asked as he pouted at you. He nodded, still shooting you sad looks as he clutched a pillow to his chest. You sighed at him, shaking your head fondly, and went to retrieve a tub of cookie dough ice cream from the fridge and a couple spoons from the drawer.

You threw the spoon at Burky, and he caught it, a small smirk on his face now. “You eat ice cream out of the tub often?” he asked.

“How do you think I got through breaking up with Nate?” you replied, peeling off the lid and digging out a chunk of cookie dough with your spoon.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see André’s face fall, and he winced; you didn’t think it was because of the injury. “Shit, sorry,” he murmured, reaching across you to get his own spoonful of ice cream. He dropped his head to rest on your shoulder. “He talks about you all the time, y’know. He always used to, but it stopped last season, and we never knew why. Then all of a sudden after Christmas, it started again.” You ate your ice cream thoughtfully. “He’s so much happier now. We could have the worst fucking game ever, but he knows he has you again, so it’s okay.”

You rested your head on top of Burky’s. “I wasn’t sure this was a good idea. But, fuck, it feels good, it feels right, Bura.”

Burky hummed; his spoon scraped the bottom of the cardboard carton. “You’re out of ice cream,” he said. You flicked his nose. “I’m glad you’re back. We missed you,” he added softly. 

You knocked his hat off so you could play with his curls. They were grown out, and honestly you would take any excuse to play with them. He melted into you as you carded your fingers through his hair. He looked young sitting there on your couch, and you had to remind yourself that he was older than Nate, that he’d already won a Cup with the Caps.

André came over again to watch Game 2 with you, instead of watching alone from the press box. You sat curled into his chest on the couch, until Gabe scored a goal and he jumped up, knocking you off his lap and onto the floor. You had pouted at him as he helped you up, laughing his ass off, but from then on you just stretched your feet into his lap.

The Avs had won Games 1 and 2, and you could all feel the tension and frustration that San Jose was facing– you had all felt it yourselves just a couple of weeks before. Ashley’s nails dug into your arm as you watched Naz mouthing off to a Sharks player, his old beef with Joe Thornton spilling over, about to drop the gloves, but the refs stepped in– a couple of you booed a little, but Ashley’s grip just tightened– and it was over. Except it wasn’t, because then Naz got hit behind the play, and you were starting to think Ashley was drawing blood, even as Naz got up, albeit a little slowly, a little dazed. It wasn’t until he came back onto the ice for his next shift that she let go, but she did also sigh and say, “I need a stronger drink,” before swallowing the last of her wine in one big gulp.

They split the road games. The team plane landed in Denver in the late afternoon, and Nate came straight to your apartment to pick up Cox. He ended up coming inside and accidentally took a nap with you on the couch. He stayed for dinner, too, and only left reluctantly at the end of the night. 

Nate scored a hat trick in Game 5. You flung your hat down onto the ice with the rest of Pepsi Center, screaming with Mel as Gabe and Mikko tackled him to the ice. There was still time left on the clock, but it didn’t matter, because the game was as good as won.

 The Colorado Avalanche were going to the Stanley Cup Finals. 

Nate swept you up in a giant hug outside the locker room, spinning you around and squeezing you until you couldn’t breathe, but you never wanted to let go.

You reached up to cup his cheek– and that playoff beard that was still going very strong– and beamed at him. “I told you you could do this,” you told him, just see his grin turn shy. “And you owe me a new hat.”

“I will buy you any hat you want,” Nate promised, but then Josty swept past you and jammed a hat on your head. You took it off to look at it: Western Conference Champions. “But I kinda like the way that one looks on you. 

Nate asked you to come over the next night to watch the Eastern Conference Finals, Pens against the Flyers. He paced around the house through the entire pregame show, and you and Cox watched him, bemused, from the couch. 

“You good over there, babe?” you asked as Nate stood next to you and looked anywhere but the TV. 

“What if I don’t want the Pens to win this?” he blurted. You raised an eyebrow at him. “You know I love Sid, but I don’t know if I could handle facing him in the Finals.” 

You laughed a little and made him sit down on the couch next to you. “I’m sure Sid will forgive you,” you told him. 

He may not have wanted to face off against his best friend and childhood hero in the Cup Finals, but that didn’t stop him from cheering when Sid scored a goal, or cussing out Konecny for a dirty hit. It didn’t matter, though, because no matter how fast or angry the Pens were, the Flyers were faster and angrier. The Pens weren’t about to go down without a fight, but an empty net goal from Giroux with less than a minute left sealed their fate. Nate texted Sid an apology while you watched the teams shake hands on the ice, and you knew he meant it, but you could also see how he relaxed for the first time all night. 

Sid showed up in Denver with Nate’s family just before the Cup Finals started. 

“Didn’t feel like going home yet,” was the only excuse he offered, but you both knew how much it meant to Nate that he was there. 

Nate’s family stayed in a hotel, but Sid moved into the guest bedroom. A bunch of your things had started to migrate from your apartment and into that guest room, so you carried them into Nate’s bedroom. Nate watched with his arms crossed from the doorway, pretending to be stoic, but his cheeks were pink.

You were in the kitchen later, making lunch, when Nate came in and hovered near you. You bumped him out of the way with your hip.

“Can I help you?” you asked.

“Do you wanna just stay over here during the Finals?” he mumbled, fidgeting with the drawstring on his hoodie. “It’ll be easier, since you’re going to all the games and stuff, to just come over here at the end of the night.”

You looked up at him; he looked back at you from underneath his eyelashes. “Sure,” you replied, going back to making your lunch. You already had a toothbrush at Nate’s, anyway. “I’ll have to go get some clothes later, though.”

Nate mumbled a “Cool,” before kissing the top of your head and leaving.

Sid came in a minute later and raised his eyebrows at you. You just pointed your knife threateningly at him. 

You had never seen the Pepsi Center so loud. The noise had been deafening throughout the playoffs, but it had reached a fever pitch for the Cup Finals. Even when it was quiet, it wasn’t silent, a constant buzz of excited voices filling the arena.

You stood with the rest of the WAGs, in your jersey and denim jacket, Nate’s family and Sid by your side, and you caught yourself thinking that this was somewhere you wanted to be for the rest of your life. 

They lost Game 1, but Nate still smiled when you met him outside the locker room. He and EJ were both moving gingerly after a weird three-way collision with a Flyers player in the second. EJ still wrapped you in a hug, though, even if he groaned when Sammy plastered himself across his back. 

“You’re supposed to be our good luck charm, Y/N, what the fuck?” he teased. You dug your elbow into his bruised ribs in response. “Geez, I forgot how mean you are to all of us,” he said, rubbing his side. 

Nate laughed, settled his hands on your hips. You stuck your tongue out at EJ. 

“Wanna head home?”  he murmured, resting his chin on your shoulder. 

“Want me to drive?” you asked. Josty, who was walking past, stopped and raised his eyebrows, but JT dragged him away. Nate just pressed his keys into your hand. 

Nate wasn’t quiet on the drive home like you’d expected. He didn’t stop talking from the time the car door closed behind him until you pulled into his driveway. He complained about the Flyers, the refs, his own playing. It had been a while since Nate just let himself complain about hockey to you. It was nice to hear it again. 

Nate pulled you close in the dark that night, and you fell asleep wrapped up in his arms, wearing one of his T-shirts. 

When they won Game 2, you thought the Can was going to explode. 

The team plane left the next morning for Philadelphia. All of the wives and girlfriends piled onto a plane of your own and followed them. You took a nap in Nate’s hotel room in a pile with Cale and Burky while Nate watched film.

The Flyers seemed more powerful in front of their own crowd. They hit harder and chirped meaner, and all of their fans in orange yelled for them. Nate left after a slash to the wrist in Game 3, and the Flyers used that to their advantage. He was back the next night, but the Flyers still took both home games.

Nate was tense when you made it home to Denver. You and Sid shared looks behind his back when he came home late from skate, or sat down immediately after dinner to watch game film again. He was still icing his wrist. 

“Rock, paper, scissors?” Sid whispered to you as you both stood in the hallway and looked in on Nate. He had the TV on and his iPad in his lap and gave absolutely no indication that he knew you were watching him.

“I had to do this all last season,” you hissed back. “It’s your turn, Crosby!”

“You’re his girlfriend!”

“You’re his best friend!”

“I can hear you two,” Nate called, his eyes still not leaving the video in front of him. Okay, maybe your whispered argument with Sid wasn’t as quiet as you’d thought it was. “What time is it?”

Sid said, “Late,” at the same time you said, “Bedtime.” You looked at each other and tried not to burst out giggling. Nate sighed, but he turned off the TV and tossed his iPad onto the couch cushions. 

“I’ll meet you upstairs, yeah?” he said, kissing your forehead and holding up the now-melted ice pack he’d been using. You must’ve given him a skeptical look, because he chuckled and added, “I promise. And I’m sorry, I lost track of time.”

You used Nate’s shoulder for balance as you stood on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. As much as you loved the beard and the playoffs, you couldn’t wait for him to shave; you were getting tired of kissing that. 

If the Flyers thought they would have it easy coming back to Denver, that the Avalanche would go down without a fight, they were very much mistaken. In fact, there was an actual fight early in Game 5, between Farabee and Calvert, over who knows what, but it was enough to energize the Avs straight to 6 goals. They took the next game in Philly, too, though the score was a lot closer.

Soon, you were back in Denver, and it was the day before Game 7. Nate was quiet all day, and you and Sid mostly left him to himself. He went to practice, and you went to lunch with Sarah. You came home, and Nate was heading out for a run. 

You were taking your laundry out of the dryer and resigning yourself to going to bed alone when Nate came and found you. He wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, pressing himself along your back and burying his face in your neck. You rested your hands on his and leaned back into him

When he spoke, his beard tickled your neck. “I’m sorry I’ve been shitty, I’m just- what if we can’t win this?”

You turned in Nate’s arms and wrapped your arms around his neck. You were still holding one of his socks. “No matter what happens tomorrow night, your family will still love you. Your team will still love you. Denver will still love you. I will still love you.” You pressed a kiss to Nate’s temple.

You stood there, in the middle of the laundry room, for several more minutes. When Nate pulled back, his eyes were shining, but neither of you said anything more.

Later that night, you pulled Nate into your chest in bed, letting him be the little spoon. He sighed contentedly and relaxed into you. You pressed a kiss to his shoulder. 

As you were drifting off to sleep, you heard Nate whisper, “I love you, too.”

When Nate left for the game the next afternoon, he didn’t kiss you, but it was a near thing. You weren’t sure what was holding you back anymore. You liked that Nate seemed to be waiting for you to decide. 

Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final was the most stressed you’d ever felt. You wanted to live in the moment forever. 

Sid sat next to you and let you squeeze his arm when you got nervous. Mel was on your other side, and she smacked you every time Nate or Gabe touched the puck, which was often, as if your eyes weren’t glued to the ice every second. Someone brought you a beer during the first intermission, but it went mostly untouched.

The game was a tame one, or about as tame as a Game 7 in the Stanley Cup Finals could be. Penalties went uncalled, and tempers were flaring. It was tied going into the second, and then again going into the third, even though both teams scored two more goals in the second period. Your hand was beginning to cramp from where you held onto Sid’s forearm, but all he did was take your hand in his after a while; you kept squeezing until you were sure even his fingers were numb.

And then Giroux high-sticked Gabe and made him bleed. There was no looking the other way from that, Giroux was sent to the box with a double minor, and suddenly the Avs were on a power play halfway through the third period. They didn’t need the full four minutes, though. They didn’t even need a full minute before Nate was on a breakaway, and the puck was up above Hart’s shoulder and safely in the net between one breath and the next. 

You screamed with the rest of Pepsi Center, but yours were mixed with a few tears, too.

You still didn’t relax, felt like you couldn’t breathe, because it wasn’t over until that final buzzer. 

You watched the clock tick down above center ice. Twenty seconds; you were on the edge of your seat. Ten seconds; you were on your feet. Five seconds; you were screaming. Zero seconds; you were hugging Mel and Sid and anyone else you could get your arms around.

You weren’t sure if you were screaming or crying, anymore. Nate looked up to where you were sitting, and you were sure you’d never seen him smile that big before. 

The Flyers filed off the ice, and you spared a half second to feel bad, because they had wanted this just as badly, but then you saw Nate and André hugging and yelling in each other’s faces. You thought about everything you’d gone through the last two seasons, and you thought that, just maybe, the Avalanche deserved this. 

A hush fell over the arena as Gabe skated over to pick up the Cup, but it exploded again as he lifted it over his head for the first time. When he handed it off to Nate next, and Nate kissed it before lifting it over his head, you were definitely crying, but you also couldn’t stop smiling. 

Everyone insisted that you come down to the ice, though a part of you wondered if you still counted, if you deserved to be there, too. Nate was hanging off of EJ when you stepped onto the ice with his parents, but he looked up and saw you. His face split into an even bigger grin than before. Without thinking, really, you launched yourself at Nate, and then you were both tumbling to the ice. 

Nate was sweaty and still entirely in all of his pads, but his arms were wrapped around you and that was all that mattered. You thought he was going to kiss you lying there on the ice, but he didn’t, just helped you up and let you latch onto him again.

“I am so fucking proud of you, Nathan MacKinnon,” you yelled in his ear, standing at center ice.

Nate went home to Cole Harbour, and you stayed in Denver. Except this summer, he texted you every day and called you most nights. From his couch with Cox by his side, from the dock under the stars, from Sid’s deck with a couple of beers. Not a day went by where you didn’t talk to Nate. 

You missed him, and you loved him, but this summer it was different. You wished you’d told him before he left, but there had been parties, and a parade, and a lot of alcohol, and it had never seemed like the right time. So you’d stayed quiet, resisted the urge to kiss Nate in front of all of Denver, to tell the world that he was yours, that your heart was his. 

You missed him, and you loved him, and you had to hold yourself back from ending every phone call with those three words, because he was in another country halfway across the continent, and it wouldn’t feel right to say it unless you were in his arms. 

You wondered if he knew, when you fell silent on FaceTime and just watched him talk with a smile on your face. You wondered if he could see the love in your eyes again, if it had ever really gone away. 

You wondered if, somehow, you’d missed your chance. 

Nate’s day with the Cup came in the beginning of August. He asked if you would come. You told him you couldn’t get off work. 

You booked a plane ticket to Halifax. 

You made Sid come pick you up from the airport. He didn’t love that he was being forced to keep a secret from Nate, but he gave you a warm hug when he saw you anyway. 

“Do you know what you’re gonna say?” he asked after you’d climbed into his truck and were making your way towards Nate’s house. 

You laughed. Sid had rolled the windows down, and your hair blew out the window and into the August air. “Nope. I’ve been thinking about this all summer, I flew all the way out here, and I have no clue what I’m going to say to Nate. ‘Surprise? I love you!’ What if he doesn’t even want me here?”

Sid scoffed. You turned to glare at him. “I have had to listen to Nate complain every single day that you’re not here. It got worse after you lied and told him that you weren’t coming for tomorrow. At one point, he even pretended to be offended that you wouldn’t even come for my birthday.” He took his eyes off the road to look at you. “Nate wants you here, Y/N. Hell, I think you’re the only person he wants here.”

You played with your necklace; it was the necklace Nate had given you a lifetime ago. Sid’s gaze followed your fingers. “I just wasn’t sure for so long, Sid. What if I made him wait too long? What if he moved on?”

“I promise you, he hasn’t. I don’t think he ever would.”

Sid pulled up in front of Nate’s house then, put his truck in park, turned to look at you. You didn’t move. The sun was just starting to set over the lake, turning the sky gold and pink. 

“Get out of my car, Y/N,” Sid said softly. “He’s probably around back.”

You sighed one last time and unbuckled your seatbelt, closing the car door softly behind you. You made your way quietly around the house, hoping Cox wouldn’t bark at you. You found Nate sitting in an adirondack chair near the water and started to head towards him when you had an idea. 

You pulled your phone out and opened Nate’s contact. You didn’t hesitate before pressing the call button. You heard his FaceTime ring once, twice before the call connected and his face filled your phone screen. 

“Hey, Y/N! I was just about to call you actually,” Nate said, grinning at you. 

You suddenly hoped that you didn’t look like too much of a mess after your five hour flight. 

Nate squinted at his phone, at you. “Where are you? The sun shouldn’t be setting in Denver yet.”

“Huh? Oh, I’m, uh, not in Denver,” you said. Nate looked confused; you had started walking towards him again, were nearly right behind him. 

You would make fun of him for not realizing you were standing right behind him later. 

“Then where-” Nate cut himself off. He jumped up from his chair and spun around, finally saw you standing there. There, in Cole Harbour. 

You barely had time to hang up the call before Nate was tackling you to the grass in a hug. 

“Oof, Nate, babe, you’re crushing me a little.”

“Don’t care. You’re here!” Nate said back. Then he pushed himself up a little, rested his weight on his hands. “You’re here. What’re you doing here? I thought you said-“

You laughed, and it echoed off the quiet lake. “I decided to surprise you.”

Nate brushed your hair out of your face and rested his hand on your cheek before dipping back down and pressing his forehead to yours. “You’re really here.”

You turned your head to kiss his palm. “Yeah, Nate. I’m here.”

Nate smiled dumbly down at you for a few more minutes. If you didn’t look a mess before, you certainly did now, sprawled out on the ground in sweatpants and a T-shirt, grass in your hair. You raised your own hand to cup Nate’s cheek. He closed his eyes and tilted his head, rested it against your palm.

The sun was still setting, and you could see the sky turning colors over his head. Nate rolled off of you and settled in the grass next to you. You reached over and grabbed his hand, twining your fingers together. Above you, the sky was all kinds of pinks and purples and blues. 

“I’ve been thinking,” you said. Nate stiffened next to you. “I asked you to be patient with me. I said I couldn’t jump in headfirst. And you’ve been so good, so sweet. You’ve let me make all the decisions this time around. And you’ve waited on me for so long.”

“I would wait forever,” Nate breathed. You huffed out a laugh.

“Well, here’s the thing.” Nate looked away from the sky for the first time since you started talking and looked over at you. You rolled, pushing yourself up to straddle Nate’s hips. He propped himself up on his elbows, and you rested your hands on his shoulders, looking into Nate’s eyes. He looked apprehensive, but quietly hopeful. “I’m done waiting. I love you, Nate. I’m not sure I ever stopped. I needed you to prove that I could believe in you again. And, God, that’s all you’ve done since Christmas. From Cox, to the FaceTimes, to all of our little dates. Through the playoffs. I spent all summer wishing I’d said something before you left, stopping myself from saying something every time we talked on the phone.”

Nate’s hands had come up to rest on your waist, thumbs rubbing circles on your skin underneath your T-shirt. He still was looking at you like everything you were saying was too good to be true. 

“Can I kiss you now?” he asked.

You had enough time to nod and laugh before Nate was leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours. It was familiar and new and exhilarating all at once. It felt like coming home.

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d kissed Nate, or how long you’d been wanting, dreaming, wishing for it again. It didn’t matter anymore, though, because Nate was squeezing your hips and kissing you slowly, deeply. Like he had all the time in the world. Like he never wanted to be doing anything else. 

He eventually pulled away for air, resting his forehead against yours, your breaths mixing in the small space between you.

“I love you so much, Y/N. And I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to do that again.” He kissed you again, just a quick peck. “And now I’m never, ever gonna stop.” He started pressing kisses to your forehead, your cheeks, your nose, before coming back and kissing your lips again. 

The sun had set fully by now, and you shivered. Nate was still radiating heat, and he rubbed his hands over your bare arms. 

“Do you wanna go inside?” he asked. You shook your head, tilting your head back to look up at the stars as they appeared. “Okay, well let me go get you a sweatshirt or a blanket or something.” He tapped your thigh, and you climbed off his lap and stretched. 

Nate made his way back up to the house, and you wandered out to the end of the dock. The water was warm when you dipped your feet in. 

It wasn’t more than a couple of minutes before you heard Nate’s footsteps in the grass again. You turned and saw him carrying a familiar sweatshirt from your college. 

“Hey, wait that’s mine!” you said. 

Nate blushed. “I, uh, found it last summer, and never really gave it back.”

You grinned at Nate as you pulled the sweatshirt over your head. It smelled like him. “I just thought I left it at your house, and you got rid of it or something. But apparently you’ve been wearing it,” you teased. 

Nate blushed darker. “I sleep with it, sometimes,” he admitted. “It doesn’t smell like you anymore, but I still like it.”

You laughed. “Aw, you really are going soft, Mack.”

Nate just grabbed your hand and tugged you closer so he could kiss you again. 

“I really believed you when you said you weren’t coming for tomorrow, y’know,” Nate said quietly. “I was trying to figure out how I’d fucked up, what I’d done to make you pull away.”

You rested your head on his shoulder and played with his hand in your lap. “I always wanted to be here for your day with the Cup. I need you to know, to understand, how proud of you I am, how proud of you I’ve always been. At first, I wasn’t sure if you’d want me to come-” Nate scoffed; you elbowed him. “But then I started figuring out how I could surprise you. Besides, I missed this place.” You waved your hand vaguely towards Nate’s house and the lake. “And you, I guess,” you added.

Nate bumped your head with his shoulder. “How did you get here, anyway?” he asked.

“Sid,” you said simply.

Nate groaned. “I hate him. He told me he couldn’t golf today because he got guilted into spending time with Taylor!”

You both fell silent, just watching the stars and listening to the cicadas and frogs. 

“Hey, what did you wish for on that shooting star we saw?” you asked suddenly, your head still resting on Nate’s shoulder.

Nate looked confused for a moment before he softened. “This,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your hair. “I wanted exactly this, for you to be happy, for us to be together.” You looked up at him, and he kissed you softly again. “Winning the Cup was a nice bonus,” he added, grinning at you. 

You shoved at Nate, but it didn’t really do much. “You’re an idiot,” you said, but you were smiling fondly at him, so it kind of ruined the effect. 

“Yeah, but you love me,” he responded, pulling you into a sideways hug.

“Yeah,” you said. “I do.”

You fell asleep next to Nate, which wasn’t new, but the kiss he gave you before you closed your eyes was. 

You spent the next day with Nate, his family, and the Cup. Sid took every opportunity to talk about how good Nate is, how proud he was. You were pretty sure it was mostly just to see how flustered Nate got every single time. How he’d splutter and blush and struggle to change the subject, but someone always brought it back to hockey, because how could you not, when you were standing next to the Stanley Cup? Whenever Nate wasn’t holding the Cup with both hands, his hand was in yours, or on your hip, or at the small of your back. He would never admit it, but you could tell he was absolutely having the time of his life, basking in the glory and the attention. No longer just the second best thing to come out of Cole Harbour, if even for a moment. For the first time, Nate was in the spotlight.

And you were right by his side the whole time, in every picture, in every memory. 

That night, after everyone had gone home and the Cup had moved on, you sat next to Nate on the couch with Cox as he went through pictures that had been taken that day. Ten minutes later, your phone lit up with an Instagram notification: @mackinnnon29 tagged you in a post. You looked sideways at Nate, but his phone was down and his eyes were on the TV. You unlocked your phone.

There were two pictures on the post. Both were of you and Nate, the Cup hoisted high over his head, glinting in the sun. In the first you were just gazing up at Nate while he grinned down at you, a loving smile of your own on your face; in the second, you were kissing, your hand on his shoulder.

His caption was simple: I’ve got everything I could ever need right here next to me.

[hockeylvr59]

Honest Love || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: And we’re off...What better way to celebrate this man’s birthday than with the first chapter of the sequel??? We’re backtracking a little bit to cover the gap I purposely created so this picks up right after part 24 of Secret Love. We’re going to see a little more of Cale’s POV here in the sequel (***** will be your signal of a switch in viewpoints) and I hope you enjoy that additional insight into this relationship that I am head over heels in love with. Quick shoutout to @nazdaddy​ for the necklace jewelry concept...it didn’t get used before but I didn’t forget about it. I think that’s all I’ve got...let me know what you think. 

Gif Credit: @samgirard​

Warnings: cursing

Word Count: 3,385

~~~~~~~~~~~

It was shortly after noon when you pulled into the parking lot of the Avs practice facility. You were tired but beyond relieved to have finally reached Denver after a combined sixteen hours in the car over the past two days. Climbing out of the car you stretched, grateful that you had less than half an hour driving left in you after your little detour.

Walking down the hallways of the practice rink, you smiled at the sound of skates on ice as they slowly grew louder. Having been given directions, it wasn’t long before you found yourself standing at the end of the hallway right beside the benches. For a few minutes, you watched the players perform an offensive drill, quickly spotting your boyfriend moving across the ice. 

Thankfully, it wasn’t long before he spotted you as well and after finishing the drill, he skated over, reaching into the bench area. Finding what he was looking for, he continued along, greeting you with a quick kiss as he dropped the item into your open hand. 

“Talk later.” He promised, stealing one more quick kiss before skating away to the sound of his teammates’ chirps. 

“Hey, Makar...if you wanted a kiss all you had to do was ask.” EJ ribbed, shoving Cale gently. 

“Yeah...pay attention.” Nate teased. “I know we’re not as pretty as your girl but…”

“Don’t tell me you dragged her down here just to help you settle in,” Gabe stated, leaning on his stick as he shook his head at the former rookie. 

“Fuck off.” Cale groaned peeking over at you. “I had to get her an apartment key okay. You know...so she can actually move in.” Even from across the rink you could see that his cheeks were flushed and his dimples were on full display as he spoke. His words caused whoops to spill from his teammates’ lips and after watching Cale jostle with them for a few minutes, you shook your head before finally heading back out to the car. 

By the time you pulled into the underground lot of Cale’s…your building, you were ready to go upstairs and just crawl into bed for a nap. Gathering up your purse, overnight bag, and one of the smaller boxes, you locked the car and headed upstairs, letting yourself inside the apartment you now shared with your boyfriend. 

As you turned to head into the main living area, your eyes immediately landed on the ‘welcome home’ banner hanging above the island. Beneath it, a beautiful bouquet of roses was placed next to a bottle of your favorite wine and a small box. Setting your things down, you pulled the small card out of the bouquet, your eyes taking in Cale’s scratchy writing. 

Welcome home beautiful. 

I love you and am so grateful you agreed to move in with me. 

Cale

Again...Cale was just too much and you hadn’t even opened the small box yet. Gingerly picking it up, you cracked the lid open and your eyes went wide. Inside was a teardrop-shaped pendant with a practically flawless opal surrounded by tiny diamonds. This was way way too much but you knew Cale would refuse to take it back. He’d insist that you were doing so much for him that you deserved to be spoiled a little. And it didn’t pass your notice that he’d picked an opal...his birthstone. 

Popping the bottle of wine in the fridge, you gathered up the necklace along with your overnight bag and the box and made your way through to the bedroom. There you found post-its attached to all of the drawers Cale had emptied for you, including one of the two bedside tables. Even though he’d only been in town for a day and a half longer, he’d already gone to great lengths to ensure that you were able to transition into the space as easily as possible. 

Unpacking the few items you’d already brought up, you settled onto the couch for a few minutes just needing to take a breath. This was big...and it would take some time before this place felt like your own. Dozing off, you jolted awake at the sound of the apartment door hitting the doorstop. 

“Hey sweetheart, I dragged Josty with me to come help unload boxes and Calvy tagged along...where are your car keys?” When Cale finally appeared in front of you he clearly noticed your groggy state and immediately the volume of his voice dropped. “Sorry...I woke you didn’t I?” 

“Guess I dozed off.” You admitted, blinking a few times and yawning as you pushed yourself to your feet. “Keys are on the island.” You declared, pointing in their general direction. 

“Hi.” Cale grinned, kissing you again before pulling away to snatch the keys. “Don’t worry about lifting a finger, we’ve got the rest.” He insisted. 

A few minutes later, the three men were dropping boxes off in the living room while you stood looking out the window, taking in your new surroundings. 

“Thanks, guys,” You declared, looking back over your shoulder. 

“No worries.” Tyson insisted. “I live in the building anyway so it’s not really out of my way at all.” 

“And I wanted to meet the woman Cale can’t shut up about.” Matt declared, offering his hand out to shake. “Courtney and I would love to have you and Cale over for dinner sometime next week, I know she’s looking forward to meeting you as well.” 

“That would be great.” You agreed. You knew how close Cale had become with the Calvert’s during those first two playoff series and as much as they were looking forward to meeting you, you were looking forward to meeting them. 

“Well, we’ll let you get settled in, Cale explained that you’ve spent most of the last two days in the car, so I’m sure you just want to get unpacked and spend some time with him. We’ll see you at the team cookout tomorrow.” Matt declared and your eyes went wide at the end of his statement. As you looked over at Cale, Matt tugged Tyson out of the apartment, an unintelligible mumble falling from the younger man’s mouth as they went. 

“Yeah...uh...didn’t get the chance to mention that yet.” Cale declared rubbing his hand along the back of his neck. “Mel and Gabe are having everyone over tomorrow. Mandatory start of the season thing.” 

“We’re diving straight into things aren’t we?” You whispered to yourself, taking a deep breath. 

“I’m sorry.” Cale murmured. “You don’t have to go if you aren’t feeling up to it, I know everyone would understand.” 

“Cale it’s fine.” You insisted. “Just caught me a little off guard. It’ll be nice to meet everyone right away.” Cale eyed you skeptically before moving closer, his hands settling onto your hips. 

“If you're sure.” He breathed. “Now can we say a proper hello? I missed you, hopefully the drive wasn’t too bad.” 

“It was okay.” You shrugged. “Long.” Trailing your hands up to the back of his neck, you pulled him into a kiss that lingered, your body relaxing immediately under his touch. “How about we let these boxes sit for now and you come take a nap with me?” You suggested, a soft shriek spilling forth as Cale scooped you up and carried you into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him. 

“A nap it is.” He agreed, laying you down before toeing off his shoes and sliding under the covers beside you. The moment his warm hand slid along your bare hip, you felt your eyes fall shut, sleep taking over quickly. The bed may be different, but sleeping beside Cale...that was home. 

________

Having spent most of the previous night in bed with Cale, you didn’t have the opportunity to touch the boxes until the following morning. Unpacking led to stressing over what to wear to this cookout and before you knew it Cale was tossing a t-shirt and shorts at you insisting that anything you wore would be perfect. 

The driveway at the Landeskog residence was empty when Cale pulled in 45 minutes later and you looked over at him.

“How early are we?” You questioned, knowing smirk on your lips. 

“Fifteen...maybe twenty minutes.” Cale replied, sheepishly. Flicking his shoulder, you climbed out of the car. 

“My punctual boyfriend.” You declared, following after Cale as he headed up the front path, knocking on the door. It only took a minute for Gabe to answer and when he did he immediately seemed relieved by your early arrival. 

“Great timing...I need help with…” You had barely stepped foot in the house before Gabe was pulling Cale away, his voice falling off. Assuming, probably correctly, that you weren’t getting your boyfriend back any time soon, you continued through the house finding Mel in the kitchen. 

“So Cale doesn’t know how to not be early, and Gabe already stole him so is there anything I can help with?” You questioned, your hands tucked into your pockets as you waited to draw Mel’s attention. 

“Oh my god!” Mel declared, immediately stopping what she was doing. “First...I am so happy you’re here. When Gabe said Cale had asked you to move to Denver I was over the moon.” Rinsing and drying her hands, Mel immediately came to wrap you in a quick hug. “Second...would you mind watching Linnea...she’s starting to get a little restless I think.” 

You’d somehow completely missed the playpen in the corner with Linnea in it, the infant attempting to pull herself to her feet as she whined for attention. 

“Of course.” You agreed. “Not a problem at all.” Seeing Zoey laying on the floor with a ball beside her, you moved closer to the playpen. “Hey Linnea...why don’t we go outside and throw a ball for Zoey.” Your tone softened as you talked to the baby girl, but not to the extent that it would be considered ‘baby talk’. 

With Linnea smiling her mostly toothless grin up at you, you lifted her out of the playpen and onto your hip. 

“C’mon Zoey. Let’s go outside.” You declared, smiling back at Mel as she mouthed a grateful ‘thank you’. After sliding through the backdoor, you headed down the porch steps and into the grass, settling yourself down on the ground, Linnea between your thighs. As you helped Linnea throw the ball for Zoey, it was easy to lose yourself in the sound of Zoey’s playful prance and Linnea’s sweet giggle.

*****

Cale grunted softly as he adjusted the cooler in his arms to open the back gate of his captain’s yard. Of course Gabe didn’t do this the easy way...no he had to fill the coolers with ice and drinks before moving them into the backyard. There was definitely a lapse in common sense there. 

As the gate swung open, Cale froze in place, his eyes taking in the sight across the yard. He was jolted forward when Gabe bumped into him from behind but not even that could pull his eyes away. 

“Dude...what the hell?” Gabe mumbled. “Oh…” 

Cale could feel the heat flooding his cheeks as his heart started racing like he’d just skated a dozen laps. Just when he thought Y/N couldn’t possibly become more attractive to him she went and proved him wrong. Because there she was, dressed in the clothes he had picked with the necklace and bracelet he’d given her resting against her skin. Her hands were wrapped around his captain’s daughter’s hips as Linnea giggled loudly, bouncing up and down on her chubby little legs. The way she held the baby, the way she spoke softly to Linnea, the way Linnea reacted to her presence...it made Cale’s throat go dry and stole the breath from his lungs. 

It had been four months since they’d talked about kids, four months since he’d really thought about having kids. Cale knew that it was absolutely something he wanted someday and that she was the only person he wanted to have kids with. But now...now ‘someday’ seemed too far away. Now...for the first time he didn’t have to imagine what Y/N would be like as a mom and a part of him was screaming loudly that that was what he wanted...no needed. Now he knew without question that as soon as he put a ring on her finger he was going to also try and put a baby in her belly. His baby. Their baby. 

“If you’re going to stand there staring at her...maybe at least move so you aren’t blocking the gate.” Gabe’s chuckle snapped Cale from his daze and his cheeks flushed further as he moved just a step forward, his eyes landing back on his girlfriend as she cradled Linnea against her shoulder, her hand rubbing up and down the baby’s back. 

“Should we tell Joe to prep the ELCs for those mini Makars you’re gonna have her popping out soon?” Gabe teased, knowing look on his face. Suddenly, the weight of the cooler and the way his muscles were straining registered again and Cale moved to set it down near the porch steps. When he didn’t react to Gabe’s statement, the captain’s face turned serious. “Wait seriously...you’re actually thinking about it.” Gabe murmured softly. 

“Thinking about what?” EJ’s booming voice asked as he and Nate came in through the back gate. 

“Calesy here is thinking about knocking his girlfriend up.” Gabe replied, looking over his shoulder to where Y/N had disappeared with Linnea just a moment before. Sounds of disbelief fell from his teammates’ mouths and Cale rubbed at the back of his neck shrugging. 

“It’s not like we haven’t talked about it before.” He admitted. 

“You’re what...four months in and you’ve talked about kids?” Nate prompted. 

“We talked about them the day we got together. It’s not like we were strangers guys.” Cale defended, shoving his hands in his pockets. “So yeah I’m thinking about it. She’s spent most of her life waiting for me...I don’t want to make her wait too long. Maybe we’ll start trying come end of the season.” 

“Well look at you growing up.” Gabe declared. “She’s the one isn’t she? You’re way more confident than when we last saw you.” 

“She’s absolutely the one.” Cale agreed. “Now what else did you need help with?” No one fought him as Cale changed the subject and headed back toward the garage, making a mental note to get better at masking his expressions when it came to his feelings for Y/N. 

*****

You’d laid Linnea down for a nap after she’d fallen asleep on you outside and then had been promptly pulled into a house tour by Mel since you hadn’t seen it before. By the time you made your way back outside with a glass of wine in hand, you found Cale sitting at the table on the patio, a beer in hand as he listened to the guys share stories of their summers. 

Sliding your palm down along his chest, you leaned down to press a kiss to his cheek. 

“Linnea wants you to know you have good taste in jewelry.” You whispered softly, smiling as his head tilted up to look at you, his eyebrows raised. “She liked the way the sun reflected off of my necklace. She fiddled with it until she zonked out.” Cale’s hum of approval and recognition was soft as he scooted back, seamlessly pulling you down onto his lap. 

There you stayed, Cale’s chin on your shoulder as more and more of Cale’s teammates and their families arrived. As soon as the Calverts arrived, Cale was immediately summoned by Kasey to play and you watched as your boyfriend chased after the four-year-old. This was the first time you had seen him with kids in quite awhile and it only reaffirmed how great of a dad he would be when he decided he was ready to take that step. 

Having finished your glass of wine, you moved to take it inside so that it didn’t get broken. As you reached the kitchen, you saw Mel and one of the other women fawning over something on a cell phone. 

“Oh, Y/N, perfect timing.” Mel declared. “There’s something I think you should see.” 

You took the phone from her, pressing play on a video. Mel must have snuck outside earlier without you noticing because you watched as Zoey trotted over with a ball before racing off again as Linnea tossed it for her. Hearing yourself praise Linnea for her strong throw was slightly odd but as the camera followed Zoey as she chased the ball your eyes fell to the background. Cale was standing there with a cooler in his hands and even with the focus slightly blurred you could see that his cheeks were flushed and the expression on his face was one that was unfamiliar to you. 

Handing the phone back, your mind raced, trying to figure out what Cale had been thinking. There were bits and pieces of emotions you recognized: love, awe, joy; but all together it added up to something unreadable. 

“Should we uh...be expecting any more big changes in Cale’s off-ice life soon?” The other woman questioned, an almost knowing look on her face. Your brain finally placed her as Matt’s wife Courtney but it wasn’t quite fast enough to pick up on what she could possibly be referring to. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” You deflected. 

“You mean it doesn’t look like he wants to get you pregnant as soon as possible?” Mel chimed in. “Because that’s all I see. Cale saw you with my baby and he gets that look on his face...he wants to make you a mom, no doubt in my mind.” Swallowing hard, you moved to finally set your glass in the sink. 

“He’s not ready for kids yet. We’ve talked about it.” You explained. “We’re just focused on us right now. We’ve only been together for a few months.” Thankfully, one of the guys walked into the kitchen allowing you to slip back outside. You’d planned on grabbing a water but after that conversation you definitely needed something a little bit stronger. Flopping down on the steps with a wine cooler in hand, you watched as Cale played spike ball with Tyson, Nate, and Burky. Immediately your conversation back in May came to mind and you thought about how Cale had said he didn’t think he’d be so scared about having a baby if the situation was right. That didn’t mean he wanted kids in the short-term or that he was even ready to start thinking about it. But then again...you hadn’t been able to place the look on his face which was abnormal so maybe there was a grain of truth to Mel and Courtney’s presumptions. 

“You look puzzled...everything okay?” Cale’s smooth voice pulled you out of the rabbit hole you’d found yourself in and you looked up at him amazed at how one look settled all of the uneasiness inside you. Cale would let you know whether he wanted kids when he was ready, there was no need to dwell or worry about it now. Kissing him gently, you nodded, letting him pull you up onto your feet. 

“Everything is good.” You assured him. “Just needed a minute.” With Cale’s hand rubbing against your lower back you let him convince you to go get your asses kicked by Sam Girard and his girlfriend at cornhole. It was fun, especially when you made Sam throw backward because he was just too good otherwise. 

By the time you finished your best of three series, the food was ready and you made up a plate, settling in beside Cale on the steps as you ate. After dinner the two of you bowed out because your eyes had started to droop from fatigue. Though the guys chirped him, Cale kept his focus on you until you had slipped into the passenger seat of the car. 

Adjusting to life in Denver was going to take some time for sure. But you were confident it would be worth it because Cale was definitely worth it. 

Welcome Home Gifts:

Cookout Outfit:

[miracleonice87]

Make You Feel My Love with Nathan MacKinnon

a Nathan MacKinnon song fic

a/n: season outcome, timing, and stats = totally fake. based on Nate’s public mentions in past interviews of seeing a sports psychologist, which is really inspiring to me. seeking professional advice is a GOOOOD thing! also, wasn’t originally intended to be a song fic, but Adele’s version of Make You Feel My Love (originally by Bob Dylan) came on while I was finishing it up, so I went with it! last note: pretending Tyson never got traded to the Leafs is the best part of writing hockey fanfiction. 🥺

summary: Angry/Sad Nate loses in the playoffs and takes his frustrations out on his girlfriend Sam, who gets comfort and advice from his teammates and friends.

warnings: swearing; isolated, individual outbursts of anger but NO physical violence; mentions of counseling/therapy and the practice of sports psychology (obviously, like I mentioned, this is a good thing but just something to know); crying Nate (I feel like that deserves a warning)

_____

Deflated, I sat in a bulky black chair in the team family room deep in the recesses of the Pepsi Center for several minutes after leaving the wives and girlfriends suite, needing a moment away from prying eyes and cameras to process what had just occurred.

The Avalanche had been one of the highly favored teams in the West all season long, yet had just been swept in the second round of the playoffs. My boyfriend, Nathan MacKinnon, widely regarded as one of the best players in the NHL, had totaled only one point in the 11 playoff games the team had played this year, earning a single assist on a Mikko Rantanen goal.

Needless to say, that hadn’t been sitting right with Nate.

He’d been short with me since the first few games of the postseason; even shorter than he typically got when he was in a drought. I had tried to give him space, but he snapped about the smallest questions I asked or requests I made of him: what he wanted for dinner, or to be sure he called to wish his sister Sarah a happy birthday. He sometimes mumbled an apology in my general direction, but more often than not, he simply left the room in a huff. I tried my best to be patient — to give him space.

It was abundantly clear that the pressure that always loomed heavy over Nathan like a thick, dark cloud had now intensified. I knew, without him ever verbalizing it, that he felt more burdened than ever before to live up to the hype — to the expectations he had for himself, and to those placed on him, either explicitly or implicitly, by the entire hockey community and the media.

When the rain is blowing in your face

And the whole world is on your case

I could offer you a warm embrace

To make you feel my love

I sat still with my head in my hands for what seemed like forever, until sweet Mel Landeskog, whom I had become so close with over the last four seasons of watching our significant others play together, came and rubbed my back gently through the custom Avs denim jacket that hung on my shoulders. I lifted my head to look at her, a sympathetic smile etched on her beautiful features.

“I’m sorry, Sammy,” Mel offered. “I know he’s gonna be so hard on himself. But he had such a great season — he needs to be proud of that,” she reasoned. I nodded.

Mel was right. He had had a truly remarkable regular season — he had scored 95 points in 82 games after a enduring a considerable slump for much of the previous year. This year stood in stark contrast to last. He had been riding high for many weeks; that is, until playoffs hit.

I stood to wrap Mel in a hug, appreciative of her gesture of support but unwilling to reflect on Nate’s play right now. “Thank you, Mel,” I told her as I squeezed her tightly. “I’m gonna miss you so much this summer,” I added, gesturing to the car seat on the floor beside her. “And Nate and I will both miss that little one, too,” I said as I blew Linnea a kiss, making her giggle, a welcome sound after a heartbreaking display on the ice. Mel glanced down at her baby daughter, beaming.

“I know, honey. We’ll miss you too. But it won’t be long until we’re all back here together, plus we’ll see each other for a couple of these bachelorette parties and summer weddings and get-togethers, yeah?” she said with a nudge.

“Yeah, that’ll be nice. Until then, you guys be safe,” I told her. With one last hug and quick kisses to each other’s cheeks, Mel picked up Linnea in her seat and exited the room. I realized that she and I had been the last two wives or girlfriends to leave, with most of us having exchanged quiet goodbyes in the suite before making hasty escapes to the parking area to console our respective sad hockey players.

With a groan at the depressing thought, I pulled my jean jacket tighter to my torso and walked slowly out the open door.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear

And there is no one there to dry your tears

I could hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love

The locker room doors stood maybe ten yards down the hall. The usual rambunctious ruckus that so often echoed off the cinderblock walls was tonight exchanged for a thick silence. It seemed that most of the guys had already left, and those who remained were noiseless. I softly greeted a few of the familiar men who made their way out the doors, offering only a sad smile and a few words of comfort to each, knowing that they weren’t in the mood to engage. They were, however, still polite, with several of the players embracing me briefly or kissing my cheek as they left the building.

Gabe Landeskog was among the very last to leave the room, unsurprisingly, as he was ever the responsible and respectable captain. He spotted me immediately and enveloped me in his strong grasp.

“Hi, friend,” I whispered into his shoulder, worried that my voice would break. “Hi, söt flicka,” (sweet girl) he countered.

“I’m sorry, Cap,” I told him quietly. He pulled back and shook his head. “Don’t apologize. Wasn’t our year,” he replied with a shrug. “As you can imagine, Nate is taking it pretty hard...” his voice trailed off. “I just want you to be prepared,” he finally added, carefully.

My stomach knotted. I tucked some of my hair behind my ear and swiftly licked my lips, feeling anxiety pool in my gut.

Gabe placed a firm hand on my shoulder. “Just remember it’s not you he’s upset with. It’s himself,” he said softly. I quickly glanced up at him and nodded. “Thank you,” I choked out. “Now you better get going. You’ve got two beautiful girls waiting for you,” I told him, feigning a bright grin. He tried to mirror my expression, but fell short. It was unnatural to see such sadness in his normally joyful visage. He squeezed my upper arm.

“That I do,” Gabe agreed. “We’ll see you soon, Sam.”

“Okay,” I whispered. “Bye, Cap.” He gave a solemn nod and disappeared down the hallway.

My unease only multiplied after my exchange with Gabe. I began to pace slowly in a circle. I jumped a few moments later when the door flew open with a screech, Nate emerging from behind it, a bitter, dark expression on his face.

I greeted him softly, tentatively, reaching a hand toward him.

“Nate, baby, I —“

My boyfriend brushed past me in a flash, causing a literal draft of air to hit me as he held up his hand, never even making eye contact with me as he practically stomped down the corridor.

My blood ran hot — how dare he not acknowledge my presence after I had attended how many home games, and even road games, supporting him and cheering him on, no matter what? And that was just this season — what about the three prior? Why was he shutting me out? My heart thumped against my ribcage.

“Nathan,” I called, my voice firm this time, whipping around to face his back and then fumbling with the chain of my Louis Vuitton bag as it fell from my shoulder. Discombobulated, I threaded it back over my arm clumsily and took two hurried steps in Nate’s direction, but he was already out of sight.

Just then, I noticed our close friend Tyson Barrie standing a few feet behind me. I could infer from the way he was approaching me gingerly, which was highly unlike him, that he had witnessed our exchange, or the lack thereof. I sighed and pressed a hand to my forehead, his hand coming to grip my other elbow.

“Sam, sweetheart... you okay?” Tyson asked softly. Hot tears pricked my eyelids, but I refused to let them fall, blinking them back with a sniffle. My hand fell back to my side — I was shaking now.

“I knew he would be mad...” I began. “But what the fuck, Tys?” My voice wavered.

Tyson instinctively pulled my waist to his side, giving me a quick, protective kiss to the temple, before pulling away and offering me his hand.

“Come on, I’ll drive you home,” he volunteered. With another sniff, I shook my head. “No, it’s okay, Tys. I drove, thank god,” I spat. “Besides, you’re dealing with the same disappointment. You need to go home with Em and unwind,” I insisted, smoothing one hand over his suit jacket. His head dropped and he offered a weak nod.

“I guess. But listen, if he’s still not acting right, call me, okay? You know you can come over. You’re always welcome, especially when he’s being such an ass,” Tyson said, the end of his sentence turning into a growl. We both sighed; I nodded.

“Thanks, Tys. I’ll let you know. And listen, I’m sorry... about tonight. I know it hurts,” I told him, hugging his neck with one arm. He spread his fingers over my back and gave me a squeeze before stepping back to look into my eyes.

“It’s just hockey,” he said quietly. I smiled weakly and nodded once. “Bye, Sam. See you soon,” he said, rubbing one hand over my shoulder as he turned and made his way down the hall to find Emma.

If only Nathan shared his friend’s logic and sentiment.

I dropped my head back at the thought, tears once again collecting in my eyes. I forced them closed in an attempt to stay composed. With another sigh, I slowly started toward the private parking garage where my vehicle waited.

Unsurprisingly, as I stepped through the glass door and into the garage where I spotted my Audi, the spot next to me where Nate’s Porsche had been was empty. I unlocked my car, tossed my bag and scarf into the passenger side, and slammed my door shut before giving the steering wheel two firm bangs with the palm of my hand. My body still hadn’t stopped trembling.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue

I'd go crawling down the avenue

No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do

To make you feel my love

I rested my forehead against the leather steering wheel for a moment before drawing a breath and finally backing out of my spot and exiting the garage, apprehensive of the scene I might find at the condo Nathan and I shared.

_____

I stepped through the front door tentatively, chewing on the inside of my lip. I was careful not to make a sound, walking on tiptoes to avoid clicking my heeled boots on the white tile floor. I dropped my purse onto the table in the entryway and reached to hang up my keys on the rack by the closet when I heard the distinct sound of glass — a lot of glass — shattering.

I froze.

The plans I had formulated in my head during my drive to confront Nate as soon as I arrived home suddenly seemed too unnerving to carry out.

My knees were nearly knocking together as I zipped through the living room and tucked myself behind the wet bar in one corner of the room. I hid myself in a partially-enclosed area where the wine and beer fridge stood, then felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. I fumbled to answer it, not wanting to make too much noise.

Sidney Crosby, the onscreen caller ID read. I tapped the green button.

“Hello?” I was caught off guard by how frightened my own voice sounded as I answered.

“Sam, hi. Are you home?” Sid’s usually calm and collected tone was now bathed in concern.

“Hi, Sid. Yeah, I just got home. He’s, uh... it’s not good,” I said quietly, glancing at the staircase as I heard another thud upstairs, this time what sounded like a pair of shoes against Nate’s closet wall. On the other end of the call, Sid heaved a heavy sigh.

“Yeah, I figured,” he said tensely. “I tried calling him thinking I might catch him on his way home and talk him down a bit, but he ignored my call. I’m sorry, Sam. Are you alright?”

I glanced down at my free hand which rested on the oak wood of the bar. I was still trembling, my fears of coming home to chaos having been realized.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” I choked out, lying through my teeth. “It’s just hard to watch.”

A deep hum of understanding came from Sid’s throat. “I bet. Have you talked to him?”

I shook my head, despite the fact that Sid was nowhere nearby to see the gesture. “No,” I vocalized weakly. “He uh... he kinda... he didn’t wanna talk to me at the arena... I don’t think.” I fiddled with my promise ring on my left hand as I made the admission. It didn’t even sound like Sid was breathing on the other end of the line.

“You’re telling me he blew you off?” he asked gruffly. I could envision Sidney running a hand over his face before gripping his neat curls atop his dark hair, as he often did when frustrated. I opened my mouth to confirm, but couldn’t actually bring myself to do so, knowing what his reaction would be. I also didn’t want to confess to the commotion I had just heard upstairs, knowing that it would further upset my concerned friend, on my behalf. Instead, I let my silence do the talking.

“Goddammit, Sam,” he growled. “I’m so sorry. He’s young. He- he... I used to do this shit, too,” Sidney admitted with a quick breath. “It’s bullshit. He’s just angry with himself and he’s taking it out on you and it’s not fair. I had hoped I had set a better example about how to deal with these things when they happen... but apparently not.”

A couple of hot tears fell to my face as I responded. “This isn’t your fault, Sid.” He retorted immediately, “Well, it’s sure as hell not yours, either.”

We both sat in contemplation for several moments, neither sure of the next step to take. Then, Sid decided.

“I won’t call him again because he needs to talk to you first. But I am going to text him and urge him that he needs to let you in,” Sid insisted. “He needs to let somebody in,” he repeated. “And it needs to be you first.”

More tears were falling now, and I glanced up at the chandelier overhead and pulled my phone from my ear for a beat to try and settle myself. I wiped at my face with the bottom of my thumb.

“Okay,” I finally whispered. I hadn’t ever really cried around Sid, and while he was one of the nicest and most genuine human beings on the planet, I knew he wasn’t quite accustomed to emotional encounters like this one, and I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by letting him hear the sobs that were bubbling up in my chest.

“It might not feel like it right now,” Sid broached, speaking in a soothing tone reminiscent of my father’s or brother’s when trying to console me. “But you’re right where you need to be. So is he. He needs you, Sam.”

I've known it from the moment that we met

No doubt in my mind where you belong

“Sam?” Nate suddenly called out from the balcony above me, his voice not sounding heated, but doleful instead. From where he stood upstairs, he couldn’t see me.

“Was that him?” Sid asked. “Yeah,” I said softly, somewhat in response to both men. “Good. He’s coming around. Trust me. I’ll let you go. Text me later, eh?” Sid requested, sounding slightly relieved. “Yeah, I will. Promise. Thank you. Bye,” I said hurriedly before ending the call.

“Sam?” Nate’s voice echoed off the walls once more, sounding desperate this time. My pulse quickened.

“Yeah. I’m coming,” I said softly. I stuffed my phone back into my pocket, took a steadying breath, and turned to walk upstairs and face him.

By the time I arrived on the second floor only a handful of moments later, Nate was already back in our bedroom, seated in the oversized Queen Anne chair near the center of the room, elbows on his knees, chin almost to his chest. I was shocked to hear small sobs escaping his lips. He glanced in my general direction, not meeting my eyes, and cried harder.

“I can’t even look at you right now,” Nate finally spoke, somewhat coarsely. My heart seemed to shatter right then, and I felt my body steel in self-defense, preparing for war.

“I can’t even believe how I treated you back there. I’m such an awful fucking human. I’m a monster. I’m so sorry,” Nate added tearfully, catching me off guard.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea

And on the highway of regret

The winds of change are blowing wild and free

You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I immediately let out three sobs that seemed to have been lodged in my throat for almost an hour now and, in an instant, closed the gap between us. I dropped to my knees in front of him and laid my head in his lap, hugging his calves. Never before had we shared such an intensely emotional moment. Above me, he covered his eyes with his hands and drew shallow, gasping breaths in an unsuccessful attempt to calm himself.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he cried, not touching me of his own accord. “I’m so sorry.” I picked up my head and looked at him, urgency coursing through my veins. I needed him to come back to me.

“Nathan, baby, hey,” I coaxed, rubbing his big thigh with my hand, which looked so small in comparison. “Look at me. Please? I need you to.”

After a beat, Nate finally lifted his head from his hands, his pale skin slightly splotchy and tinted red, blue eyes shimmering behind more tears that threatened to fall.

“There’s my handsome man,” I said softly, combing my fingers through the neat hair near his ears, watching him slowly return to me.

“Hey, I want you to listen to me, okay? Tonight you’re allowed to cry it out, or punch our pillows, or run on the treadmill all night to blow off some steam. And then I’ll give you a couple more days to swallow this. But after that? We’re gonna check in with Dr. Butler, both of us, so she can give us some ways to cope with this.”

Nate’s shuddering breaths had finally started to slow as I spoke, referencing one of his most trusted allies, the Denver-based sports psychologist he had been seeing now for a few seasons to help him deal with not only hockey-related challenges and mental blocks, but also general anxiety, in order to boost his mental health. I was careful not to allow my tone to come across as if I were babying him, but instead offering comfort and, more importantly, suggesting help. “Because tonight? These last couple weeks? This can’t be it. We can’t deal with things this way. I don’t want you shutting me out, or Sid, or your family, okay? You wouldn’t let me do that — I’m not gonna let you,” I added.

Nate nodded quickly. “Absolutely, babe. I was just gonna say, as soon as I heard you on the phone downstairs, it really just hit me. I realized I needed to text her and set up an appointment,” he told me, his voice no longer shaky. “And that I needed to apologize to you,” he added softly. I nodded, and he grabbed my hands, pulling me to my feet and then back down to lie in his lap. I threw my legs over one arm of the chair and settled against his chest.

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to find comfort in Nate’s heartbeat for a moment, as he pressed soft kisses into my hair, before I looked around the room, assessing the damage. I noticed that his suit coat lay crumpled in the middle of his closet floor, his shoes having bounced off the wall there as I suspected, and they sat out of place atop his neatly assembled collection of footwear. Across from us, I noticed the source of the shattered glass — a shadow box display from Nate’s unforgettable rookie season hung just slightly crooked on the wall, the glass in the front completely broken out, save for the shards along the inner edge of the frame.

Nate followed my gaze to the mess and sighed. “I’m really sorry about that, Sam,” he said, shame creeping into his tone. I nodded knowingly. “What did you throw?” I asked. “That puck they gave me from the last game of the regular season. It was on my dresser when I set my wallet down and it just set me off,” he admitted sheepishly. “It was stupid.”

“Yes, it was stupid to break something that’s valuable to you, but it’s not stupid, what you’re feeling,” I told him firmly. “Besides, we’ll get a new glass panel and it’ll be good as new.” His grip around me tightened, appreciative of my response. “Thank you,” Nate whispered into my ear. I turned to kiss his lips slowly and deeply. He finally pulled back, only to murmur, “I don’t deserve you. I’m so grateful I have you.” I smoothed my thumb across his cheekbone. “I’m always going to be here for you, Nate,” I promised. He gave me one more solemn kiss.

“Listen, I’m gonna carry you into the bathroom so you don’t even get close to any shards of glass, and I’ll clean all this up while you run us a bath,” Nate told me. “I’ll join you soon. I think it’ll be good for both of us, eh?” I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck as he easily picked me up bridal-style and headed toward the en suite.

Things were far from perfect, but I was prepared to do everything in my power to get us as close as possible. From the change in his demeanor, I knew Nate was, too.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true

Nothing that I wouldn't do

Go to the ends of the Earth for you

To make you feel my love

[ghstandpucks]

Cutting Edge ~ Nathan MacKinnon Ch. 3

A/N: Hey everyone, thanks for all the love on the last chapter! I loved seeing that you enjoyed it! Also thank you to @pumpkinpatchmakar​ and @pizzasloot​ for your kind words after my update post <3 

I do know where the story is going, and I’m excited to write it all out! Just bare with me, between school and my heart being broken, it might take longer between chapters but I will get to them!

Tags are open, just let me know! Enjoy!

Prologue Ch.1 Ch.2 

           Nate was halfway to his apartment when his phone rang; an incoming call from his captain. “What’s up?” he asked as he answered.

           “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for the past hour,” Gabe asked. Nate now realized that he had seen all those calls and texts, but after getting your number he forgot about them. He cleared his throat.

           “Sorry Landy. I was at the rink with Y/N,” he stated, unsure of what the captain’s response would be. When Gabe remained quiet, Nate became a bit nervous. “You there?”

           “Y/N? As in Coach Y/L/N, Y/N?” he asked, and Nate could hear Gabe’s amusement over the phone.

           “Yes,” he answered shortly. Gabe laughed.

           “What happened? Practice ended 3 hours ago, what have you guys been doing…or do I even want to ask?” Gabe said suspiciously.

           “It was nothing like that. I heard someone still on the ice when I was about to leave and went to see who it was. It turned out to be Y/N and she was just skating around and asked me to skate with her,” Nate explained as he pulled into his apartment complex.

           “Oh, so she’s just Y/N now? Seems like you two got close,” Gabe chuckled. Nate groaned as he parked. Maybe telling Landy wasn’t the smartest thing. “Please tell me you at least asked for her number or something before you left.”

           “I did actually. I asked her as we were leaving,” Nate said, quieter than he needed to.

           “Wow, okay. She’s definitely got you interested, doesn’t she?” Gabe sounded amused on the other end. Nate mumbled out a yes, knowing he wasn’t going to be living this down anytime soon. He was happy with the little progress he made with you, but now he was sure Landy would look for any reason to bring you around, not that Nate wouldn’t enjoy seeing more of you anyways though. “Well, I guess that brings me to why I was calling in the first place. Mel and I are taking Linnea on a hike on Sunday and we’re inviting some of the guys to go since everyone is pretty much back in town. I was inviting you, and I think you should see if Y/N wants to come. I don’t think she really knows anyone here yet, and Mel wants to meet her. After I tell her about your afternoon she’s going to be dying to meet her,” Gabe chuckled. Nate perked up hearing that he had a legitimate excuse to text you right away, instead of trying to play it cool.

           “Yeah, I can ask her,” he said, a little too eagerly.

           “Great! And make sure you pick her up. She doesn’t need to drive when she doesn’t know where anything really is,” Gabe suggested, knowing his friend lacked skills in the romance department. Nate rolled his eyes, but he was grinning at the thought of seeing you away from the rink.

           “I know Landy. I’ll text her and see. I’ll let you know,” he said as he entered his apartment and plopped down onto his couch, saying goodbye as his captain became distracted by his daughter.

           On the other side of the city, you had fallen onto your own couch and immediately got on facetime. “Superstar! How are you doing sweetie?” Jeremy asked.

           “I think I just gave Nathan MacKinnon my number,” you said in one breath, throwing a pillow over your head. Jeremy laughed.

           “You think?” he asked. You threw the pillow off and looked at him.

           “I gave him my number. I stayed after to skate and he was still there and I have no idea where I got the courage but I asked him to skate with me and I taught him some skating, he taught me some hockey, and it was just really fun and then he asked me for my number…” you rambled off.

           “Hey, deep breath Y/N. That sounds like you both had a nice time. And is it really so bad to give an attractive hockey player your number?” Jeremy tried to be sympathetic because he could see the wheels spinning in your head. He had known you for too long to not know where this was going.

           “He’s on the Avs though Jer. I’m technically his coach. How is that ever going to work?” you asked.

           “I don’t know Y/N, I wish I could tell you. But it seems like you are starting to like this guy, and if he likes you too then I’m sure you can figure it out. Don’t overthink it. I’ve seen you do that a few times, always putting your career first. And although that worked then, you can’t keep running from everything outside of the rink,” Jeremy tried to reason with you.

           “I know,” you said, knowing he was right.

           “And know that whatever does or does not happen, I will be here as your biggest supporter,” he said. You smiled at him.

           “Thanks Jer. Sorry, I don’t know why I freaked out,”

           “Because you are starting to like him,” Jeremy smirked. Your phone chimed and you briefly caught the text from a number you didn’t know at the top. Tapping on it, you saw that it was from Nate. Before you could read anything else, Jeremy laughed. “And I’m guessing that is him?” You nodded.

           “I guess some of the team are going on a hike Sunday and he wants to know if I want to go,” you stated, your smile growing.

           “I want to hear all about this hike when you get home,” Jeremy said. “Hang up with me and text your Doug Dorsey back.”

           “This is not the premise of Cutting Edge,” you laughed at his mention of one of the main characters. Jeremy shrugged.

           “He’s a hockey player. You’re a figure skater. Close enough,” he said, before saying goodbye as he had to run to a team meeting. You hung up and opened up Nate’s text.  It read: Hey Y/N, it’s Nate. Some of the guys are going on a hike on Sunday and I was wondering if you would like to join us? Mel, Gabe’s wife, is going and he said she’s been wanting to meet you. If you have plans no worries. Just thought I would ask. You smiled, seeing as you had no plans for the weekend beside finishing unpacking and would rather spend some time getting to know the team better…and Nate.

Y/N: Hi! That sounds like fun. I would love to go as long I wasn’t intruding on a team thing. You answered. You were a little worried that your presence would be unwelcomed, being a coach. Your phone pinged with another message.

Nate: No you wouldn’t be. You were about to reply when a text bubble popped up, and the following appeared. I would like for you to be there. You were happy this wasn’t in person as your face became flushed.

Y/N: When and where? 😊 Nate texted you to be ready at 9am on Sunday, and told you where you would be going. He said he would pick you up, and you gave him your address. And as the day continued, you continued to talk with him. Saturday came, and neither of you had technically said goodbye as you fell asleep texting him the night before, so Nate didn’t feel like it was too much, too soon to continue your conversation the next morning. You were giddy when Sunday morning came and you were getting ready. You felt that you had gotten to know him a little more and were excited to spend some more time with him. Right on time at 9 in the morning, there was a knock on your door. You looked in the mirror, fixing your hair quickly before answering it. Nate stood there in basketball shorts and a t-shirt, holding two cups of Starbucks. “Good morning,” he smiled as he handed one to you.

           “Morning!” you replied as you took a sip, humming contently as you tasted the pumpkin spice latte. “Is this why you asked what I liked from Starbucks?” Nate shrugged as you turned away to grab your jacket off the back of your couch.

           “I’m just hoping you’ll forget about making me do those extra laps tomorrow,” he teased as he looked around your apartment. It was small, but not too small, with a few boxes still sitting in the corner. “Are you still not unpacked?” You let out a sigh.

           “I have too much crap. I need another bookshelf,” you shook your head and took another sip, exiting your apartment. “But flattery will get you everywhere in my book. I may overlook your extra laps.” Nate chuckled as you locked the door behind you and followed him to visitor parking. You blushed slightly as he held the passenger door to his car open for you. The both of you sat in comfortable silence for a moment as he started to drive, enjoying your coffee. “So, who’s all going today?” You finally asked.

           “Landy and Mel, Tyson, Burky, and Cale I believe. Landy invited pretty much everyone since we’re all back in town, but I think everyone else was busy,” Nate explained. You nodded.

           “Well I’m excited. Thanks for inviting me to tag along,” you smiled over at him.

           “Of course,” Nate smiled over at you quickly. You kept casual conversation as you made it to the outskirts of Denver and what looked like would be a pretty hike to an overlook. Nate parked and off to the side you saw Gabe with a beautiful woman and a toddler in one of those carrier packs standing under a tree. As you made your way over, Nate leaned down and whispered. “Don’t let Gabe start showing you pictures of Linnea; you’ll be sitting there for like 3 hours.” You giggled, catching the attention of Gabe. The woman who you assumed was his wife, turned also and smiled widely.

           “You must be Coach Y/L/N. I’m Mel, it’s nice to meet you!” She said, pulling you into a side hug as to not squish her daughter.

           “Y/N. It’s nice to meet you too!” You replied, barely missing the not so subtle wink Gabe sent Nate.

           “Hey Coach, glad you could join us” Gabe said, “This is our daughter Linnea,” he introduced the little blonde haired, blue eyed girl. You smiled at her tired little face.

           “She’s absolutely adorable!” You squealed looking at the little girl. You weren’t necessarily a kid person yet, still being in your early 20s, but this little one was just too cute! Just then the others showed.

           “Eww who invited our coach?” Tyson grinned at you. You made a face at him, about to respond before Gabe beat you to it.

           “I’d rather have her here than you,” he said as Tyson feigned hurt. The others laughed and after greetings were exchanged you all started to walk. As the guys walked ahead, you walked along with Mel and Linnea.

           “So how are you liking Denver?” she asked cheerily.

           “The weather is a nice change from SoCal, that’s for sure,” you let out a soft laugh. “I’ve really only been to like the rink and the grocery store, so I haven’t been able to explore much more than this. I was happy when Nate invited me to hike with you guys so I could see a bit more,” you smiled.

           “We should go get lunch then one day, and go shopping! If you would like to. I know hanging around the rink with the guys gets a little old,” she said sincerely, and you couldn’t help but feel excited at the possibility of making a new friend.

           “That sounds like fun! I’m not used to being around this much testosterone.”

           “Yeah they are terrible sometimes.” You both started to laugh, catching the attention of the guys in front of you. You locked eyes with Nate, and blushed slightly under the grin he was sending you. Tyson walked over to the two of you and slung his arm around your shoulders.

           “Coach, I have a question…” you looked at him apprehensively and he gave you a sly grin. “Who is your favorite so far?” Nate you automatically thought, but were nervous to say out loud.

           “Well it’s definitely not you,” you replied, shrugging off his arm to the chirps of everyone else.

           “I bet it’s Nate,” Andre spoke up with a grin, Nate shooting him a look. You tried to think of something quick to say, seeing as Nate was looking as uncomfortable as you were starting to feel.

           “No, he has extra laps to skate tomorrow,” you tried to joke, hoping to ease Nate. It worked, he grinned at you and chuckled.

           “You don’t even know if you can enforce that,” he teased back.

           “I will figure it out!” you yelled back dramatically. The rest of the walk went like that, with the guys chirping one another, and dragging you and Mel into it. At some point after talking a bit to Cale, you ended up next to Nate as your little group came to a stop at a look out point. The trees were turning color with the season and everything looked pristine and beautiful. When Mel suggested taking a group picture. You automatically started to back up and were about to offer to take the picture when Nate gently placed his hand on your back.

           “Your part of this group too. Don’t be trying to sneak off,” he smiled at you. You were about to reply that it was okay when Andre spoke up.

           “Yeah Coach. Grace our picture with your Olympic winning smile.” He said, sending you a wink. You laughed and shook your head.

           “Oh God. That one hurts my face,” you admitted. You were known for always smiling throughout your routines. Even if you fell, you kept your smile. By the end of a four in a half minute long program though, that smile usually felt forced and plastered, even if it didn’t look that way. Andre turned his camera around as a selfie and held it up since he was the tallest. You were toward the back with Nate, his hand still on your back and you stood on your toes to try to be taller, your short frame looking incredibly small next to the larger bodies around you. After the picture was taken and sent to everyone, you and Mel exchanged numbers as you all continued the hike back to your cars. It was just after 1pm and you all decided to get lunch. You enjoyed your time with everyone and were starting to feel like Denver could be home. After lunch, Nate drove you back to your apartment. You were slightly sad the day was coming to an end. He parked and insisted on walking you up to your apartment, even though you assured him it wasn’t a big deal. Opening your front door, he eyed your still packed boxes again.  

           “You know, I could help you put together a book shelf if you’d like,” Nate said, face flushing a bit. You thought it was adorable, someone as large as him flustered.

           “That’s kind of you, but I have to go buy one first,” you smiled at him. He shrugged.

           “I can go with you. You might need help carrying it,” he smirked and you let out a laugh.

           “Wow, I think you are just really trying to get out of doing those laps tomorrow,” you shook your head.

           “Are you really going to make me do those?” he asked, leaning against your door frame.

           “I’m not sure yet, I haven’t decided,” you shrugged, making him chuckle. You looked up at him and couldn’t help but smile, the thought that someone might actually care about you as a person, and not because of your accolades filling you with immense joy. He was offering to help you build a bookcase after all. “I might just take you up on that offer though.” Nate smiled and pushed himself off your door frame and extended his arms to you. You gave him a hug and have never felt quiet as safe so quickly as his large frame enveloped you.

           “I’ll see you tomorrow Coach,” he said as he pulled away from you and winked.

           “Have a good night Nate,” you smiled. As he walked away you shut your door. Walking further into your apartment, you plopped down on the couch and got your phone out of your bag. You saw you had a few new followers on Instagram, some from the team and a few of their significant others. Mel had tagged you in a picture, and you saw it was the one you had all taken, along with one of just her, Gabe and Linnea. You went and posted the picture as well, captioning it “I’m not sure what I like about Denver better. This team, or the view?”

           You busied yourself the rest of the day and checked your Insta around dinner again. There was a comment from Tyson. “This team is the view.” You couldn’t help but laugh and be thankful that you ended up in Denver.

tags: @bqstqnbruin​ @avsfans95​ @andreiaafaria​ 

[daisiesandshakes]

Ikevamp OC

Fanfic - Linnea

The day we met - William Shakespeare

Warnings: mention of blood, hurt (but everything will be fine)

Hidden behind wild roses, peaking through the gates of the mansion, his mismatched eyes follow every move the woman makes. She seems to be pleased, her features soft but focused as she plants new flowers, not caring if her nice dress gets dirty.

A smile appears on his lips.

So everything went well.

Le Comte gave her the name Linnea.

It has the meaning of "twinflower", "flower" or "tender". He agrees with the first points. She's definitely a rare flower. But he isn't sure if her tenderness is not just a velvet cover for an iron core beneath.

They didn't meet again since the day he and Vincent found her, unconscious and bleeding beside the road. William can still feel her fragile body in his arms...

They were surprised as the carriage stopped abruptly with a desperate yell from the coachman.

"Sir!! There lies a young woman, she seems to be hurt very bad!"

Immediatly he and Vince jumped out of the carriage to look after that injured woman. Both held their breath at the sight, she laid half on her stomach, the disrupted clothes obviously not from this time soaked with blood.

Vincent was frantic with concern "Who would do something like this to a woman, Will? Look at all the blood!"

William turned her to see her face and almost jumped out of his skin, as she suddenly grabbed him by his collar.

"Leave me alone!" the woman yelled, her greyish-blue eyes wide opened with fear. .. and rage?

He took her upper body softly in his arms, ignoring her grip at him.

"Shhh... Fear nought mylady, thou are safe in our trustworthy companionship."

Grey eyes like the sky before a storm looked puzzled at his soft spoken words, weighing them for a second, but then she let go of his collar.

"Whence commest thou?" William asked, but her head felt back as she lost consciousness again.

Vincent kneels down next to them, his gaze worried. "Will... There is something wrong with this girl, her blood smells weird somehow."

"Indeed my dear friend, I've noticed that, too" he replied. Although He wouldn't describe the scent as weird, rather than overwhelming sweet. And he noticed another thing. As this woman laid her gaze with fear and rage on his, Will could swear he FELT her emotions.

"We must take this lady to the mansion instead of a hospital, dear friend. I am sure this lady is not human."

Vincent's eyes grew wide "Really? But-"

"I think our dearest Comte knows what to do." With these words Shakespeare took her frail figure gently up and climbed with her into the carriage. "Mayhap he even knows what exactly she is."

Vincent took place in front of them and gave order to hurry up, watching William as he brushed softly some strands out of her face "Fear nought, my wounded, strange birdie. I shall watch over you."

Next part

[hobeymakar]

Something Better | N. MacKinnon

Words: 2,608

A/N: Since I’m sad about the Avs losing Game 7, I figured the only way to not fall into a depressive state is to write something cute to turn the failed breaking of the 2nd round curse (it’s been almost 20 years) to something positive :) In this, COVID-19 is still going on and yes, the playoffs did go on as it did this year

Warnings: swearing and alcohol use

-

You wake up and feel a wave of nausea run through you. You run straight to the bathroom and manage to make it to the toilet before emptying the contents of your stomach out. After the nausea goes down, you brush your teeth and wash your face before heading to the kitchen to take your prenatals and make some breakfast. Yesterday, officially started your 10th week of pregnancy and you can’t believe how quickly your pregnancy is flying by. It seems like just yesterday you found out you were pregnant alone, while Nate was playing his exhibition game with the Avs in Edmonton.

You didn’t want Nate to find out about your unexpected pregnancy while in the bubble, so you tried to keep it as secretive as possible. The only people beside your family that knew were Mel and Gabe Landeskog and Erik Johnson, because EJ apparently finds out everything like he’s some FBI detective or whatever. Luckily, EJ and the Landeskogs can keep their mouths shut and vowed to not tell Nate. You wanted to tell him in person, not over FaceTime.

You finish your breakfast and clean up the kitchen, before heading back to the room to get dressed for the airport. You shower and wash your hair before changing into one of Nate’s old Halifax Mooseheads shirts, leggings, and Adidas sneakers. You need to buy some maternity clothing soon since you’re almost done with your first trimester and your bump is starting to actually show. You blowdry your hair and put on minimal makeup before grabbing your things and leaving the house. You get into the car and drive off towards the airport. 

After a while, you arrive at the airport and make your way towards the arrivals terminal and greet all the Avs WAGs. The ones who are moms can tell right away that you’re pregnant but vow not to say anything to anyone, until you’re ready. After what feels like forever, but it’s only half an hour, you see the players starting to come out. The second you see Nate you run straight into his arms, throwing caution to the wind. It’s the longest you’ve been without your husband since you two started dating in 2014.

“Y/N!” he smiles, holding you in his arms tightly.

“I missed you so much, baby!” you cry out, a couple tears of joy starting to slip from your eyes.

“I missed you even more, baby!” he replies, kissing your forehead.

You stay in each other’s arms for a few more moments before he gently places you back on the ground again. He takes your hand in his and you guys leave the terminal together and head back to the car. You both get into the car and finally take off your masks.

“How was the flight?” you ask, as you start the car.

“Long and depressing, but I’m glad I get to come home to you again,” he smiles, kissing your hand.

You put the car into drive and leave the airport, while he puts on WHATS POPPIN (Remix) by Jack Harlow, Tory Lanez, DaBaby, and Lil Wayne. You know Nate is back when only rap music is being played in the car again. After a while, you make it back to the house and Nate goes straight to the room to unpack, while you take the time to go to your office and call Mel.

Mel answers on the third ring and you can hear Linnea crying in the background.

“Hey Mel is this a bad time?” you ask, not wanting to take her away from her motherly duties.

“No, not at all. Linnea’s just cranky because Gabe accidentally dropped his gear and woke her up from her nap,” she explains.

“God, he better get her back to sleep then,” you reply, shaking your head.

“Oh he is! He’s in the nursery right now, trying to get her to go back to sleep,” she explains.

“Good! Serves him right for ruining her nap schedule,” you tease. “Anyway, are we still on for Nate’s belated birthday party surprise?”

“Yes, we are! I’ve been in contact with the other girls and the guys and we should all be there for 6. So, you should tell him you’re taking him out for dinner and then when you come back from dinner, everything will be set up! He won’t suspect anything,” she explains.

“Alright, awesome. Thanks Mel,” you smile, glad your surprise party for Nate is gonna go off as planned.

What you don't know is that Nate is outside your door and heard you mention the birthday party surprise. He leaves the hallway quickly so that you don't know that he was listening to you talk with Mel. You get off the phone with Mel and exit the room, glad to see that Nate is nowhere near your office. You find him in the living room, getting his laptop set up.

"Hey babe, are you hungry?" you ask.

"No, I ate on the flight. I'm gonna zoom with my parents and sister if you wanna come join," he offers.

"Of course!" you smile.

You love talking with the MacKinnon family. They all love you and are so glad that you turned Nate into a man. Nate starts the zoom call and you're instantly greeted with the faces of Graham, Kathy, and Sarah. 

"Hi, Y/N! How are you?" Kathy greets, a giant smile on her face.

"I'm great, Mrs. MacKinnon, now that your son is back home. How are you?" you ask.

"Y/N darling, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Kathy? We're family now, sweetheart. I'm doing well. I'm so happy to see you again," she replies.

"It must really suck to have my brother back home, eh?" Sarah teases.

"I won't get peace and quiet anymore, that's for sure," you tease back, causing Nate to groan beside you.

"I don't appreciate this spousal abuse!" he whines.

"This is why you're my favorite sister-in-law, Y/N!" Sarah giggles, having way too much.

"She's your only sister-in-law, Sarah!" Graham informs her.

"I know that, Dad! She's still my favorite!" Sarah shushes him.

Yeah, you definitely love the MacKinnons. You all catch up on what's going on with the MacKinnons informing you and Nate on what's going on back in Cole Harbour. You also inform them what's going on in Denver without of course telling them about your pregnancy. Although with the looks Kathy is giving you, she must already suspect it. Moms tend to have a pregnancy radar like that. After a while, the MacKinnons have to go and the Zoom call ends.

You and Nate take advantage of a lil nap time, since the pregnancy makes you take naps more frequently.

"Babe, get ready. I'm taking you out to dinner," you inform him.

"Why can't we just have dinner here?" he pleads.

"Because we haven't had a date night since the pandemic happened and I want to go out," you explain.

"Whatever m'lady wants, m'lady gets," he teases in a stupid accent.

"You're insufferable," you groan, shaking your head in disbelief.

You two get ready to go to dinner and you had already set up a reservation at a nice steakhouse for 6pm. You arrive at the steakhouse downtown at 5:40pm and valet park it. You make your way inside and wait for your table to be ready, before being escorted by the hostess to your table. You both sit down at the table and look at the menus.

"Hi my name is Alex and I'll be your waiter tonight. Can I get you both started with some drinks?" the waiter asks.

"Can we get a bottle of your best red sauvignon, please?" Nate asks.

"And I'll just have this water," you add.

"No problem," Alex smiles.

He pours you a glass of water from the water pitcher as Nate gives you a look of confusion. Alex then leaves to get the bottle of wine.

"You're not gonna have any wine?" he asks.

"No, not tonight, babe. Not really in the mood for it," you lie.

"Okay," he replies, not totally buying the lie.

Alex comes back with the bottle of wine and you both place your orders. You check your phone and see that Mel texted you saying that everyone is at the house setting up for the surprise party. You two pass the time talking and Nate brings up heading back to the offseason house in Cole Harbour and you tell him you're unsure if you wanna go back since it's basically the end of summer anyway and the offseason is so short this year.

"So you wanna stay in Denver then?" he asks.

"I just don't know if it'll be worth it to only be there a month or two," you reply, when in reality you wanna stay here for your entire pregnancy.

Your food eventually arrives and the both of you dig in. You quickly realize how much you miss date nights with Nate and how much you just missed being with Nate in general. Dealing with the majority of your first trimester alone was definitely challenging and something you thought you would never have to deal with. 

After a while, you finish eating and the waiters bring a piece of cake for Nate and start singing happy birthday, while you record it on your phone.

"Happy belated birthday, baby!" you cheer, after the waiters finish singing.

Nate blows out the candle and everyone claps. The waiters all walk away and Nate throws you a look.

"Really?" he asks in annoyance, shaking his head.

"Stop being a baby! You really thought I wasn't gonna make up for missing your birthday?" you ask.

He starts eating his cake, anyway and you eat half of it. You finish eating the cake and you pay the check, much to Nate's dismay.

"Babe, I can pay for things too. I run my own million dollar business," you glare at him.

"Sorry," he replies, raising his hands up in defense.

You leave the restaurant and check your phone, seeing that Mel texted you that the house is all set up and everyone is there.

You decide to drive, much to Nate's dismay, but you sternly remind him that he had a whole bottle of wine. You arrive at the house and park in the driveway. You walk up to the front door and go in first, seeing the house completely dark. Nate follows in and turns on the lights.

Everyone shouts surprise and Nate acts like he didn't know about it ahead of time. Gabe cues the music and everyone goes up to him and wishes him a happy birthday.

"Thank you baby," he smiles, kissing you.

"You're welcome," you smile back.

All the kids are running around and the girls and guys are chatting about offseason plans. After a while, Mel brings out a cake and everyone starts singing happy birthday. After singing, they take pictures of Nate with the cake, before pictures of different groups with Nate and the cake. After all the pictures are taken, Mel cuts the cake and serves a piece to everyone, even some of the kids. After the entire cake is cut and everyone has finished eating their pieces, you go to your office and take out a bag with Nate’s gifts in it, nervous to see what his reaction will be. You bring it out of the office and bring out to the open area where everybody is. Mel notices this and cues for everyone to be quiet and shuts the music down.

“What’s going on?” Nate asks in confusion, not understanding what’s going on.

“I got some special birthday gifts for you, but you need to close your eyes when you pull them out!” you smile, handing him the gift bag.

Nate shoots you a look of hesitation before opening the bag and taking out the paper. He pulls out the first item and hands it to you, before taking out a 2nd and 3rd item and handing them both to you. You arrange them nicely, so that he can see them clearly when he opens his eyes.

“Okay, you can open your eyes now,” you inform him, biting your lip nervously.

He opens his eyes and is immediately hit with a baby Avs jersey with his number on it that says Daddy in the back, as well as little Avs booties and your first ultrasound photo. His brows furrow in confusion at first before he puts two and two together and his mouth drops at the sudden realization that you’re pregnant.

“You’re pregnant? I’m gonna be a dad?” he asks hopefully.

“Yes, babe! I’m 10 weeks pregnant and I’m due in early April!” you smile, placing a hand down on your little bump.

“I love you so much!” he cries out, before kissing you and lifting you into his arms.

Everyone cheers and yells out their congratulations, with the WAGs already talking about planning the gender reveal party and the baby shower. Nate doesn’t keep his hands off your bump for the rest of the night and doesn’t shut up about how he can’t wait to meet the baby. The team, because they’re all competitive gambling bastards, place a wager on whether or not it’s a boy or girl, and secretly you want a mini Nate running around, even though you know he would be an amazing girl dad.

After a while, it gets late and everyone cleans up before heading home. Once everyone is gone, you guys shower and get ready for bed.

“When’s the next appointment, babe?” he asks you, as you crawl into bed to cuddle him.

“In two weeks for the first trimester screen. You’re gonna be able to hear our baby’s heartbeat for the first time,” you inform him.

“I can’t believe you were going through this all alone,” he sighs, feeling guilty that he was playing in the Edmonton bubble.

“I had Mel here with me and she was pretty awesome helping me out after every freakout and breakdown I had since finding out I’m pregnant,” you assure him.

“How long have you known?” he asks, the “without telling me” implied.

“I found out 5 days after you left. I had missed my period and was feeling like shit, so I bought a few tests and they all came out positive. So I freaked out and figured I’d wait til I saw you again in person to tell you,” you explain.

“I hate that I wasn’t here for you these last 6 weeks, but I’ll be by your side for the rest of this pregnancy, baby,” he assures you, kissing your forehead. “When do we get to find out the gender?”

“In 10 weeks during the mid-pregnancy ultrasound. It’s a 3D ultrasound that will show us every detail of the baby,” you explain to him, in between yawns.

He crawls down under the sheets and brings his face up to your little bump.

“Hey little one, I know you don’t know me yet, but I’m your daddy! I can’t wait to meet you little guy or girl! Your mommy and I make me so happy. I know I haven’t been here because I was busy trying to win the Stanley Cup, but I’m glad I didn’t. You’re already a million times better than winning the Cup,” he explains, leaving kisses on your bump.

You quickly wipe the tears from your eyes so he doesn’t see how emotional that made you. He’s right however. Finally starting a family is way better than winning the Stanley Cup. 

[bandwagonhockeyfan]

I’m Always Here for You - André Burakovsky

Summary: Burky coming to your rescue at the club and being absolutely adorable after!

Warnings: Drinking, alcohol, grabby men, cat calling, one minor swear

Word Count: 1.3k

REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY OPENED

@kristenyascur​ here you go!

You were absolutely buzzing for tonight. The season was starting soon so it would be one of the last weekends where you could truly let loose and have fun with your boyfriend André.

Pulling your hair into a complicated updo, you were determined to look like a million bucks tonight. You had found a dress in the back of your clothes, totally forgotten about, but fit you like a glove. You had even managed to make two pretty decent wings with your eyeliner!

André was set to pick you up in a couple minutes, so you rushed around to finish getting ready. You grabbed a tumbler and filled it with water, setting it out on table with a bottle of Tylenol so you’d see it when you came home. As fun as tonight was going to be, tomorrow didn’t need to be ruined because of a hangover.

The door alarm pulled you away from your current task, scrounging around the floor of your closet for your nice sneakers. André was right on time.

Ordering an uber as you opened the door, you pulled him into your place.

“You look great,” he breathed, eyes wide as he glanced up and down. The dress was a simple wine color number falling to mid-thigh, but it did highlight your chest marvelously in your opinion.

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” you teased, drinking him in. He was wearing his go-to black club slacks, white button-down shirt tucked in, just how you like it. He had popped a couple buttons at the top, teasing you with a peak of his chest.

You swallowed hard, blinking a couple times as you refocused yourself. André smirked as he caught your eye, grabbing your elbow to pull you closer to him. His hands rested on your hips, beginning to absent mindedly running his fingers over your hips.

You fixed his hair just a bit, tugging on his curls just a bit. He smiled and pulled you into a kiss, swaying slightly in your kitchen.

Your phone buzzed signaling the uber was here. Again, you were giddy with excitement. Tonight was going to be great.

------ 

When you pulled up to the club, André statement when he first suggested tonight rang true: this club was POPPING.

Your jaw went slack at all the people lined up around the brick warehouse, desperately trying to get in.

“I told you, minskatt.” You could hear André gloat in front of you, tugging you out of the car.

You shuffled once you got out, accidently tugging your dress down too much, showing off your chest a little bit more than you wanted.

“Aye! Babyyy!” Someone from the line shouted.

Your head snapped up and locked eyes with the stranger who was leering at you. He actually liked his lips!

You were disgusted, blinked back tears as you ran to catch up with André.

“My name’s Mark! Just so you know whose name you’ll be screaming later!” You took one last look over your shoulder and saw Mark staring you down.

However, you determined not to let him ruin your evening. The season was just around the corner and you wanted to celebrate accordingly. You brushed it off and didn’t mention your encounter to André who was busy talking to the bouncer.

You tried to focus on what André was asking, something about whether the rest of the Avs were here or not. You slipped under his arm and buried your face into his side, now desperate to get into the club and away from the creep on the sidewalk.

André mistook your fear as excitement and hurried the bouncer along, skipping the line and getting you into the club.

For a while you forgot about the creep outside, having a good time with André and the rest of the team and their partners. You said danced for a while with Mel, eager to live it up while they had a babysitter back home with Linnea.

Everything was great until you had to go get a drink. André had run off the restroom while the line was short, so you ventured to the bar by yourself.

“I’ll be right back Mel. Won’t be long, just getting a refill on my drink.” Mel nodded at you, her alcohol tolerance long gone since having a kid. Though, you didn’t look much better, always being somewhat of a lightweight yourself.

Elbowing people aside, you leaned against the cool bar top and flagged down the bartender.

“Another vodka cran please!” He nodded and took the cash you had fished out of your purse.

“Well, fancy seeing you here. I knew you couldn’t get enough of me.” Your blood ran cold.

It was Mark.

You tried to ignore him, but he tugged your elbow and pulled you into his chest, a gesture André had just done hours early. Except this wasn’t André. From his blonde hair to his slight Southern accent, nothing about this man was your loving boyfriend.

“C’mon, sweetheart, don’t play hard to get. We both know you want me.” You shoved away from him, leaving your drink on the counter in an attempt to get away. You eventually moved around the corner to leave this potentially messy situation.

You tried looking over people’s heads to find your beloved Swede, but you could only see Mark. He was dodging people as quick as you were in order to get back to you.

He had trapped you against the bar and you began to cry alone in this dark corner of the bar.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed Mark’s shoulder and ripped him away from you. It was Gabe Landeskog. Behind him you could see André shoving his way through the crowd and Mel holding hands with another WAG, hoping everything would be alright.

You knew you were shaking as André finally reached you, Gabe issuing threat after threat to your assailant. André pulled you into chest , turning you away from Gabe’s tirade.

“I’m gonna get you out of here, okay minskatt?” There was the pet name you knew and loved, not any of this sweetheart crap that Mark had laid on.

You just nodded and let your boyfriend wrap his arm around your shoulder and lead you out of the club and into a cab.

You began to fully cry in the safety of the car, so scared by the nights events.

“It’s going to be okay Y/N, trust me. I’m here for you.” André rarely referred to you by your first name, preferring pet names and ridiculous nicknames instead. You could tell he was shaken too, glancing out the window as the cab pulled up to his building.

Soon, you were sat on the edge of the couch, just trying to get your breathing under control.

You pulled on your now ruined hairstyle, a nervous habit since you were little. Strands of hair stuck to your face, mixing with the steady stream of tears. The night was supposed to be nothing, but excitement and happiness and it turned into anything but.

You pulled on your now ruined hairstyle, a nervous habit since you were little. Strands of hair stuck to your face, mixing with the steady stream of tears.

André trod over, his shirt untucked and unbuttoned. He had a fleece blanket bundled up in his arms and he began to wrap it around you, gently sitting down next to you on the couch.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” he repeated over and over again. He gently took your shoes off and pulled you into his lap.

“I’m here for you, I’m always here for you. It’s going to be okay.”

You nodded and closed your eyes as you leaned against his chest. You were going to be okay.

[foxymoxynoona]

Oooh Lowlander question here: Why does Jungkook insist on using fear with Marguerite when there's so much evidence that she'll respond better to getting context/explanation? (I acknowledge that may not have been true in the beginning, but it certainly seems true now in the story.) He also mentions often that being sweet never worked for him in the past but Karmen's biggest complaints about him seem to revolve around the idea that he didn't listen to her, his stubborness or he was brash in his refusal to understand her side (i.e. the night before the wedding knots).

Under cut!

JK is bad at women. You guys, he’s bad at women! He has strong relationships with his mom and sister but that does not translate to him knowing how to handle a romantic relationship with a woman. He also is a bit of a dreamer, a romantic, and has this idea in his head of how things are supposed to go. When previous women did not fit that mold, lo and behold, it didn’t work. There is still this tension where JK will want her to be a certain way or do a certain thing and she can’t read his mind and doesn’t want to be that way. In the past, those kinds of conflict led to him losing two women. I don’t think his swings from doting to temper tantrum are anything new. I think the difference is that M has been “stuck” with him in a way that Linnea and Karmen weren’t. And, a happier note of that, is that this time JK has the time to realize how he can be better and get better. Linnea and Karmen were not wrong to leave a relationship in which they weren’t happy, but it also prevented those relationships from improving. Karmen tried to stick it out longer, but I think she and JK were just not actually a good match, and there will be more about that if I do end up writing that JK/Karmen/Tae story I’ve maybe been sketching out... Linnea basically noped her way out of there as soon as she realized JK was not yet the man she wanted to be with and she was not interested in the work needed to get him there --he was young, remember. 

With M, he wanted to start strong with her and skip the risk of her fleeing. The toxic views of his culture make him think he wasn’t manly enough. is that true? NO. Karmen never said “he wasn’t manly enough,” she said “he didn’t listen to me.” I would suggest that JK was a better boyfriend than a husband, because he had this view in his head about how a husband should be. He was friends with Karmen before, but I think when they got serious his expectations for himself shifted in a way that even HE wasn’t happy with. I think he acted out at what he perceived to be the unfair constraints being her man placed on him, regardless of whether she actually did anything to support those constraints or not.

Because he has been so bad with relationships in the past and felt so blind-sided by their falling apart, he doesn’t trust Marguerite’s apparent happiness. She doesn’t help because she can be rather mercurial too, saying she’s unhappy but secretly being pleased, or responding badly to something that was nice because of some other thing going on in her head. Remember that this is her first relationship too! Her relationship with Frederick was nothing like this, no real honesty or sincerity or vulnerability.

He also has an inherent trait to react to fear with anger. His mother does too. It’s a personality trait they should both make personal progress on. :) 

[modern-fae-female]

Elorcan Modern AU Chapter 8

The next day Elide and Lorcan walked into school in the best moods that either of their friends had seen them in. As per usual Fenrys had to make some comment about it and the rest of the Cadre seemed very confused when he brought up a ‘little Lochan’. Lorcan quickly gave him one of his signature death stares and hurried onto history, his second favorite class as after debate with Elide. Just like before she was already there and gave him a big smile as he walked over to sit down, and to his surprise he immediately returned with one of the biggest smiles he had ever given someone. 

“ Well if it isn’t the knight.”

“ Well if it isn’t the princess.” 

“ So when do we want to meet again to work on the project.”

“ Um.. if you could make it in time I can meet at the library same time today.”

“ Sounds good, I just have to find if one of my friends could get me a ride.”

“ We could drive over together. I have practice but if you wanted to sit in the stands and get some other work done we can head over together. “

Lorcan immediately regretted it after saying it. I mean what if she didn’t want to be seen with him. That wouldn’t be surprising after he is basically enemies with all her friends. 

“ Sure, I think Manon as lacrosse practice today so I might go watch them and them meet up with you after you finish practice.”

“ Oh sounds good. We finish at 5 so if you just want to meet outside the locker rooms. We can pick up dinner again if you want and I can give you the info about the bookstore.” 

“ Sounds like a plan!”

Much to Elide’s surprise she couldn’t wait to get on the motorcycle again with Lorcan. She liked holding onto him and was excited for another night of working together and hanging out. She knew her friend group would be against it, but they had a project to work on so they had to meet up. Mr. Allsbrook walked into class and started the lesson, but throughout the whole lesson Manon and Aedion would look back to see Elide and Lorcan staring at one another, which of course the other person had no idea. 

Her first couple of periods went by quickly as she and Lysandra made their way to the lunch table and found everyone glaring at Elide. 

“ Did I do something wrong?” She has hesitantly. 

“ What's been going on with you and Salvetterre?” Aelin asked her as Elide sat down in her normal seat next to her.

“ What do you mean?”

“ I know he can seem charming but he’s bad news. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“ As much as I appreciate you looking out for me I’m fine. And Lorcan isn’t a bad person, he’s kind and friendly to me.”

Half of the table snorted or started chocking on something at Elide’s comment,

“ Lorcan Salvettere? Kind and friendly? Are we talking about two different people here.”  Lysandra said. 

“ Apparently so because he is not how you describe him. I mean we hung out a little bit after we did our work at the library and he was funny and sweet. He even mentioned a place where I might be able to get a job. “

“ He let you on his motorcycle?” Rowan asked.

“ Yeah, after his football practice were driving back over to the library.”

“ What are you planning on doing until his practice ends?” Manon asked know joining the conversation. 

“ Well I know you have lacrosse practice so I figured I could watch and get some work done then we were going to meet up outside the locker room.”

“ I guess that's fine,” Manon replied in her usual cold tone. 

“ Back to the motorcycle, he let you on it?” Rowan asked again.

“ Yeah, why is that a big deal?”

“ Well from when I was part of the Cadre Lorcan treated that motorcycle like it was his kid or something. He didn’t let anyone on it and I didn’t think he had until you last night.”

Elide’s heart skipped a beat. Lorcan really didn’t let anyone on it but her. 

“ Well he did, and it was fun so I’m going with him again today.”

“ Fine, just be safe.” Aelin said.

“ Of course.” 

Soon lunch ended at Manon, Rowan, Aelin, and Elide made their way to Elide’s least favorite class, PE. As they walked in Elide saw the Cadre, Maeve, and her friends already there. She just had to make eye contact with Lorcan and gave him a small smile which he surprisingly returned. 

“ Alright losers today we will be doing some partner stretches. I will be pairing you up by randomly drawing your names out of the bowl. The list of stretches is on the bored,” Mr. Arobyn said as the walked into class.

 Just great Elide thought, lets get paired up with some random person or worse Maeve or one of her friends. He went through a few names as Aelin got paired up with Connall, and Manon with Essar. He then drew Elide’s name and them he called out, “ Fenrys.” Elide looked over to him and he had a smirk on his face. Elide had never really looked at him before but now she noticed how attractive he was, not as attractive as Lorcan but still. Wait, when did she think Lorcan was attractive. Elide was lost in her own thought she didn’t noticed Fenrys was walking over to her and was now right in front of her. 

“Hey Lochan, ready to get started.”

“ Yeah lets go,” Elide replied hesitantly. 

“ As they made their way over to a spot in the gym Fenrys said, “ so your the girl who has made Lorcan in such a good mood lately.” 

Elide’s heart stopped. What was he talking about? Did she really make some sort of impact on him.

“ Uh, I don’t know about that.”

“ Well he has been in an exceptionally good mood lately and from what I can tell from his longing stares he does like you and he hasn’t denied it is you.”

Longing stares? What was he going on about?

“ Oh, uh ok.”

Fenrys and Elide went through the stretches and he was cautious about her ankle. They made small talk and some silly flirting as Elide realized he wasn’t bad either. They laughed and had fun until the bell rang, Fenrys picked up Elide’s hand and placed a kiss on it. 

“ Until we meet again,” he said.

Eide giggled at his silliness and bowed and responded the same. Out of the corner of her eye she could she Lorcan giving Fenrys a death stare, what was with him?

Elide made her way to debate where sadly she learned the class that Lorcan was in would not be joining them today and they went into a lesson about some famous debates in American history. Class seemed to go by extra slow as there was no Lorcan to banter with and talk to. Finally class ended and Elide got her stuff and made her way to the Lacrosse field to watch Manon’s practice. She sat down on the bleacher next to the field and a couple minutes later Manon and 12 other girls came out in their gear. Elide waved at Manon and Manon waved for her to come over. Confused Elide got up and walked over slowly as her ankle was sore after PE today. 

“ Elide this is the rest of the thirteen, Asterin, Sorrel, Vesta, Faline, Fallon, Edda, Briar, Thea, Kaya, Linnea, Ghislaine, and Imogen. Girls this is Elide,” Manon said pointed them out. Elide recognized a few from her classes. 

“ Nice to meet you.”

“ So your the girl Manon told us about that has made good old Lorcan gone soft,” the girl who she believed was Asterin said.

“ Uh, I don’t know about that but I’m working with him on the debate project.”

“ Hm.. well enjoy watching us practice, although I don’t think it is as fun as playing.” 

Elide nodded and made her way back to where she was sitting. She watched them practice some and noticed how well they all worked together and she got some of her homework done. Soon it was almost 5 and their practiced ended and Elide got up and made her way over to the locker rooms. She could hear voices in there, some she recognized as Dorian and Aedion. Soon the boys walked out and waved to Dorian, Aedion, and Rowan who gave her a smile and waved back. Soon Lorcan walked out and made his way over to her. 

“ Hey, ready to go?” He asked. 

“ Yeah, how was practice.”

“ Good, sweaty. Got to work on my tackling skills which might come in handy as your knight.”

“ Ah yes, you need to keep up if you are to keep up with me my dear knight.”

They made banter like that as the made their way over to his motorcycle. He gave her the spare helmet again and Elide took notice of the gaping stares of the others in the parking lot as she got on the bike. Maybe Rowan was right and she was a first to get on his bike. Soon he started it and Elide grabbed onto him again as he took off to the library. They made their way over to the same spot as the day before, went over their work and made their way to the bistro again. As Elide was getting out her card to pay Lorcan had already given the cashier his and paid for both of their meals once again. 

“ I could have paid you know, I do have some money,” Elide said.

Lorcan took note of the bitterness in her tone and said, “ Sorry, I just thought it would be easier if I pay. If it bugs you that much you cam pay me back at some point.” 

Elide agreed to that as they made their way outside and sat down at a table to eat. 

“ Oh, here is the application for the bookstore I mentioned,” Lorcan said handing her the papers. 

“ Thanks I will fill them out soon.” 

They soon went back to their small talk and playful banter and soon it was getting dark and Lorcan drove Elide home. They said their goodbyes and just like the night before they both went to bed with a big smile and both hoped it would be a reoccurring thing. 

@bri-loves-sunflowers

[fericita-s]

Beginning After The End (Part 2)

Part 1

Thank you @the-spaztic-fantastic​ for being the best encourager on this - from brainstorming to editing to some specific ideas in this chapter that I don’t want to spoil but that include drugs and nightmares and Hubert comforting Thea. Oh no! I’ve said too much!

Sasha chatted on the walk to the stones, telling Hubert about her aspirations of studying music at a conservatory somewhere in Europe and Thea could already feel a headache taking residence at the spot where her backbone met her neck. Sasha was a talented violinist, and she loved that her daughter wanted to study music, but the idea of anyone else sailing away from her was like getting kicked in the stomach.  

“My grandparents in Denmark said I’m welcome there anytime and they would arrange for private tutors. And Aunt Linnea in London has said the same. Perhaps mother will let me go this year.”

Hubert looked over Sasha’s head at Thea and raised his eyebrow in question.  Thea shook her head and felt the panic rise in her chest at the thought of her daughter leaving on a ship.

“I hope you’ll play for me while I’m here. Letters can’t convey the beauty of music, though your mother and your father both tried when writing of your talent,” Hubert said.  Thea was grateful for this change in topic even as the panic continued to vibrate through her.

Is that why Agnarr and Iduna were always so different? Why they closed the gates and kept their daughters hidden? They knew the cost life demanded. The scars it left on the living.

They stopped walking when they reached the stones, dark and bleak against the sky in the bright sun of the morning.  Thea saw Maddie and Ingrid holding hands at the stone bearing Iduna’s name and Henrik, Sigrid, Greet, and Oaken standing by Agnarr’s in a tight circle. Everyone with their partner, looking at death and huddling together, warding it away from their own homes.  Thea hugged her arms around herself as she neared them, feeling the loss of Elias’s guiding hand on her waist keenly.

The men shook hands and the ladies hugged and then they all stood silently for a while, staring at the stones.  No one seemed to know what to do or what to say, and Thea thought Agnarr or Elias would have known how to say the right words, to lead the right ceremony, to soothe and comfort and offer hope.

After a while, Henrik cleared his throat.  “Hudson’s? My treat.”

The group walked slowly back down toward the town proper and there was no chatter this time.  They made a somber procession.  The Market Square was still draped in black banners and the flag of Arendelle lay limply on the pole at half mast.  Thea felt a satisfaction in that, the entire kingdom mourning like she had been mourning since the king and queen came to her home in the fall of the previous year.  Both had looked so stricken that Thea knew what they would say even before they sat down with her in her own sitting room to tell her about the wreck of a ship that had been found, the pieces splintered and shattered among a skerry far to the north.

Iduna had hugged her and Agnarr had stuttered on words of promise about giving Elias the honor he deserved and setting up their children with a life-long pension.  Thea had only said “But he always comes back,” and hadn’t cried until they’d left, her hands on her middle where a new baby was growing.

Halima greeted them and brought drinks around even though it was still mid-morning. She put a hand on Henrik’s shoulder as she set a pitcher in front of him and he put his hand to hers and squeezed.  

“Thank you, Halima.  Join us?”

Halima shook her head. “No, they’re best remembered by their closest friends. Let me know if you need anything.” She walked to the front door and bolted it from the inside, then excused herself to the back rooms. 

Thea watched as she walked away, a sadness to the slump of her shoulders that had been there for many years. Once, Halima had spoken to her of a young man who had been lost in the Northern Expedition, who she hoped had somehow been able to survive within the thick mist that shut out the Northern lands. Looking at her, Thea wondered if that was a worse fate than knowing your loved one was dead - to have a small flame of hope burning up any ability to move on or find new love. She reached for Sasha’s hand and held it tightly. 

Henrik sighed. “Agnarr has the place cleared out for us one last time.”

Thea watched as Maddie brushed tears from her eyes and Ingrid put an arm around her.

“To King Agnarr and Queen Iduna,” Henrik said, raising his glass and standing up.  The others got to their feet and raised theirs as well.  

Their voices joined together in a “Skal” that was probably the least celebratory Thea had ever heard, but it seemed to cheer Henrik a bit.

“Do you remember my last night here before going to Oxford? When we had to rearrange the seating and keep refilling Agnarr’s glass in the hope that he would finally tell Iduna he loved her?” Henrik took a sip of his drink and then wrapped his hands around it, squeezing tightly.  Sigrid leaned into him and put her head on his shoulder. 

“I was not here for that, but I can see why it would have been necessary,” Hubert said, a fond smile coming to his lips.

“Oh, it was very necessary,” said Greet. “That man loved her so much, but could not figure out how to do anything about it!” 

“That’s not entirely fair.  All those elaborate gifts? He tried.  Iduna didn’t or couldn’t understand,” said Maddie, and then whispered something in Ingrid’s ear that Thea didn’t hear.  

“That was the first night I met some of you,” Thea said as she put her glass on the table.  “I remember seeing the king run his hand along Iduna’s back and hoping that he wasn’t ruining her reputation forever.”

Greet laughed.  “I tried to get her to do far more to him that would ruin her reputation.”

Thea shot a glance at Sasha, who looked slightly embarrassed to be hearing this about the king and queen. She put her hand back in Sasha’s as she spoke.  “I didn’t understand Arendelle then.  Or how they were together. But later I did. When we’d paint together and talk, or watch Elias and the king together doing their wrestling or swimming.”

Thea had surprised herself by saying Elias’s name out loud and hated that the conversation, which had just been turning to happier memories, was newly awash in grief at the mention of her husband.

“Where are your children, Henrik?” Greet asked, after the silence had stretched out unbearably long.

“Home in London. The boys are nearly old enough to oversee the business now,” he answered.  “A little younger than you, Sasha.”

Oaken took an impossibly long drink from his glass and then wiped his hand across his mouth. “The business, it is good, ja?”

Henrik shrugged, but Sigrid nodded and added “Yes, very.  Ice exports are very much in demand.”

“Interesting,” said Hubert. “We should discuss it sometime.  I’m transitioning away from ambassador duties to the more sedentary life of growing the national rail system.  Which includes as a priority ice cars for transporting perishable goods.”

Henrik tipped his glass towards Hubert. “Certainly.  Perhaps another weekend in Paris?”

Hubert visibly paled and coughed before reaching for his glass. 

“No? Are you settled down then? Abandoning world travel for the delights and comforts of home?” Sigrid elbowed Henrik and Thea thought this was the best tribute to Agnarr and Iduna, for friends to be sharing stories and talking, instead of standing silently, paralyzed with grief. 

“No, I’m not so lucky as you. My sister Sara keeps hoping I’ll put an end to my days of being a bachelor.  And I should tell you, I had to avoid the attentions of a woman whom I think you are all very familiar with.  Unpleasantly so.”

“Who?” Greet asked, leaning forward. “A woman from Arendelle?”

“No, but one who made quite the impression on Arendelle during a certain birthday ball and garden party.”

“Lady Alexsandra?” Greet asked, and it was nearly a shriek.

“Worse,” said Hubert.  “She tried to arrange a match between myself and her daughter, newly eighteen.”

Sasha pulled away from Thea at that, straightening up. “Ugh! Eighteen! You’re past forty!”

“That's what I said, though far more diplomatically,” laughed Hubert.  “I can assure you neither Alexsandra nor her daughter are any more pleasant about being told ‘no’ than you would expect.”

“Did that work? Being nice?” Henrik asked, laughing.

“No.  It was more satisfying to be rude anyway,” Hubert said, laughing along with Henrik.

“And did that work?” Sasha asked, eyes wide in horror at this story of a girl her own age being offered in marriage to a man her father’s age.

‘No,” Hubert said, still laughing. “So I suddenly stopped being able to speak German.  Then French.  Then English.  They only stopped their pursuit when stymied by my Flemish.”

“She was the worst, I can well believe she’d try to arrange a match with little input from the groom,” said Greet.  “Thank goodness Iduna was our queen instead of her.”

“Quite the legacy she left, where we all shudder at her name,” said Hubert. “And you have her to thank that no one knows your full name, Sasha.”

Sasha sat up straight in her chair, aghast. “What?”

“We named you Aleksandra for my grandmother, but she was called Sasha.  And Elias and I vowed we’d never tell the king and queen your real name.” Thea said, raising her eyebrow at Hubert who shook his head and shrugged.

“But - but they’re my godparents!” Sasha spluttered, unbelieving.  “How did they not know my name?”

The rest of the friends laughed and Thea squeezed Sasha’s hand while Hubert looked at them both with an apologetic smile.

***

“Their twins are about Vadik's age.  They moved out of the town when they were born and further up in the mountains,” Thea explained later when Hubert asked about Maddie and Ingrid’s family.  Maddie had been even more reserved that usual and hardly spoken at all in the time the friends spent together. 

“Two at once? What a blessing.”

But Thea cringed, his words calling to her mind the double tragedy they had been observing that day. Two gone at once, beneath the waves, to be splintered and crushed in all the ways she had imagined Elias had spent his last moments. Maybe two at once was a blessing.

 But mostly it was nice having Hubert there, and so little had been nice lately.  When she hadn’t been tending to her own grief, wild and unruly like the cloudberries on a skerry, she had to tend to her children’s needs and to the elder Mr. and Mrs. Calder’s before their deaths.  Two at once.  A blessing.

Hubert led her and the children on walks to the waterfall and to the top of the clock tower.  He asked to be shown the aquaculture projects he had been instrumental in setting up a decade ago, and then withdrew his request without protest when Thea said “We won’t be sailing.”  

And then, a month into his stay with them, when she was starting to wonder if this was a permanent arrangement and realizing she didn’t mind if it was, Hubert proposed.

***

Hubert arranged everything.  He suggested they get married in Antwerp so Sara could be present and assured Thea that the ship would deliver them all safely.  As Thea packed trunks and asked servants if they preferred to travel with them or stay behind to keep the family home in good order, she tried to avoid thinking of being on a ship.  But it came unbidden: the water roiling below and the winds whipping the sails, cracks of wood splitting apart and masts torn in two.

The night before they left, she lay in her bed, sleepless and thinking of the first time Elias had taken her sailing.  They were officially courting by then and she no longer tried to disguise her appreciative looks at his form as he manned the sails on their small craft. When the wind blew sprays of water onto them, he had shaken his head  and whooped.  “Is there any better feeling than this?” He had shouted, and even though he was so close she could reach out and touch him, his voice barely carried over the wind.  

When they tied up the boat and walked along a skerry, she ran her hands under his loose shirt and he took it off in a swift motion.  “Better for sailing anyway,” he said, and winked at her. He dipped his head low to kiss her and his lips tasted salty with the sea. 

Her hands trembled to touch the bare skin of his back and at her light touch, he gasped.  “I was wrong, this is the best feeling,” he said and Thea agreed, telling him so with her hands splayed out and pressed more firmly into his back and then daringly dipping further down to feel the curve of him rather than only the hard planes of his back.

***

She woke without realizing she had slept, and already felt sick with nerves at the thought of her whole family on a ship together.  Sasha boarded first, running up the gangplank with Vadik close behind.  They had missed this, she knew.  They loved sailing with their father and had been excited at this change they were making as a family.  Thea held little Elias but Hubert took him from her so she could walk unencumbered across the gangplank, and then the nursemaid took the baby from him.  Thea gripped the railing and stared at their home on the waterfront until it was a speck in the distance.

What was hard during the day was unbearable at night.  Sasha and Vadik loved sleeping in the hammocks on board, and though Hubert had given her the largest quarters, all Thea could do was pace and pace.  The baby had never slept so soundly, lulled by the rocking, and she knew she didn’t need to be holding him for his sake.  But she clung to him, reminding herself why she couldn’t fly apart into a thousand pieces, like Elias’s ship had, flung across miles of shoreline and skerries. 

A light rap on the door drew her out of her macabre thoughts and she crossed the room to open it.  Hubert was there, holding some wine.  

“I thought you might like a drink?” He drew out another bottle, this one small.  It looked medicinal, though Thea couldn’t read the label. “Or perhaps something stronger? This would let you sleep.  I can be sure the children are cared for.”

Thea allowed him to take the baby to the nursemaid and by the time he returned she was sitting on the edge of the narrow bed, clutching herself tightly and rocking in motion with the ship.  He sat down next to her, leaving space between them. 

“I know this is hard. I wish there was another way to get where we’re going.”  He placed both bottles on their sides on the bed and she wished he would just make her drink something.  Deciding was too much right now. 

“I think I might go mad.  All I can think about is all of us sinking to the bottom of the ocean.”

“And you don’t want that?”

Thea looked up sharply, surprised.  “Of course not.”

Hubert shrugged.  “Sometimes people want to die after their loved one does.  I know Sara had that despair for some time. She was widowed after only two years of marriage to her love.”

“No,” Thea said.  “I want to live,” and she was somewhat surprised to find it true.  

The ship pitched forward suddenly and she began to tumble off of the bed, but Hubert’s arms caught her around the waist and then pulled her back onto the bed, against himself.  

“Easy, easy,” he muttered, in the same way Thea might have calmed a horse or a colicky baby.  He took one hand off of her to reach for the smaller bottle.  

“Drink this.  I’ll stay with you and make sure all is well.  The nursemaid has the children.”

Thea opened her mouth as he poured the contents of the bottle in her mouth and she swallowed, tears coming to her eyes as another swell pitched the ship forward and the sound of creaking boards brought goosebumps to her flesh.

“It’s too hard, it’s too hard,” she muttered and Hubert held her tightly, telling her of his parents and how they had sailed from Prussia to Antwerp following a fast courtship and then lived happily for years in the home they were sailing to now.  She fell asleep with his mouth inches from her ear, his arms around her waist.

***

Thea woke and saw Elias sitting across from her, in the chair she knew was left behind in their family home in Arendelle.  He was smoking a pipe but the air smelled like saltwater.  The smoke from his pipe was turning into crocuses that lost their petals as they slammed to the floor and shattered.

She tried to sit up but her head weighed too much and she could do no more than roll to her side.  Elias took the pipe out of his mouth and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.  “I know you miss me, but you can’t come here.” 

He stood up and walked towards her, each step sounding like cannon fire.  He put his hand on her cheek but she couldn’t feel it and she moaned and closed her eyes.

When she opened them again, Elias was standing in front of her, frantic.  

“You shouldn’t be here! It’s too dangerous!” Rain was pelting him and his coat was torn at the shoulder. “The ship is falling apart!” 

Again, she tried to sit up but this time her legs wouldn’t move and when she looked down at them and then back up, Elias was gone. 

“Elias? Where did you go?”

Hubert answered.  “He had to go, but I’m here.  I’m here.”

Thea closed her eyes again. “Will he come back if I close my eyes?”

She felt Hubert’s hand on her cheek and it made her cry.  If Elias had been real, she would have felt him.  Wouldn’t she?

“He can’t come back.  But he loved you very much, and he loves you still.”

***

A letter wouldn't have arrived faster than their passage, so when the family arrived in Antwerp, Hubert’s sister Sara met them at the pier, surprised and happy.

“Hubert, are those your children?” she asked, incredulous.

“They will be,” he answered, and Thea knew she had done the right thing. 

***

She had felt shattered at Elias’s death and, now in a home that didn’t overpower her with memories, she was aligning the fragments of those memories so they didn’t pierce her in a way that cut off her breath. She hoped she would figure out how to fully come back to herself before Hubert tired of this half-life woman he had married, before the children tired of her melancholy and moods. Before she lost herself totally and led a life that was worse than death.  But she wanted to live.  She just had to figure out how.

[slashertalks]

For your promotional bonus funtime thingy: Night of the Demons. In particular, the original, not the remake. Also, your blog is great, keep it up!

thanks, yo!! it always makes me smile, hearing that ppl enjoy what I do here! check the review below ✌🏻

Tonight, I watched Night of the Demons. Now, this was my first time watching this movie— I had been vaguely aware of its existence before, but had never sat down to actually watch the film. This was a crying shame. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it here (maybe I did— I believe I brought it up when I reviewed Overlord), but the film Frankenstein's Army is one I have... very negative feelings about. I've seen that particular film multiple times on TV, and every time it's felt like an overblown haunted house, something that would be MUCH better if it were just shorter. I bring this up because, similarly, Night of the Demons is another haunted house romp, quite literally. The house is literally haunted (or possessed, I guess).

However, where Frankenstein's Army is overly-polished, disappointing first-person schlock, Night of the Demons is a charming little late-eighties flick with a lot of fun moments. I think the most important thing to keep in mind about this movie is that it's a simple film; it doesn't give you a lot to work with, it just has a premise and goes ham. That's nice! There's nothing wrong with a movie that just wants to be itself, and that's definitely Night of the Demons. There are some really refreshing points to it, though. Perhaps first, the black character doesn't immediately die— Roger is one of the two survivors! It's a oft-repeated complaint, that characters of color never make it long in 80s horror. Second, the "final girl" of the movie isn't explicitly a virgin! Now, it's true that she never has sex on screen, so she still falls into that trope, but when she's asked whether or not she'd slept with the guy she'd previously dated, her answer was that it was none of New Boyfriend's business. Plus, Mister "I gotta fuck or I'm gonna lose it" Jay gets his eyes gouged out by the absolute legend Linnea Quigley, so that's always cool! I also think its cool how you can see the influence of The Exorcist on their demonic forms (always cool to notice how visual tropes carry over).

In the end, Night of the Demons is a fun flick for Halloween — the kind of movie meant for gathering all your friends together with a big bag of Halloween candy and a bowl of popcorn to share. It's no masterpiece, but damn is it fun (it gets points for a Bauhaus song on the soundtrack too)!

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #212: Men of Deadly Pride!

October, 1981

Here they are -- the new Avengers!

But not the New Avengers (the difference is that the hairy monster they have is Tigra instead of Wolverine).

And they are having difficulty.

I don’t know what they did to piss off Galadriel over here (I mean yes I do, she says it right on the cover) but she is kicking their asses.

A dark queen indeed.

Not much to actually say about the cover. Uh, the composition looks neat! There we go. A thing.

So lets jump inside.

Where in a moody dawn scene, Jarvis walks alone through a nearly empty Avengers mansion, little knowing he is being stalked until

RAWWR! IT IS CAT!

Tigra jumps out to do him a startle.

C’mon, Tigra. Be nice.

You’re the only Avenger actually staying in the mansion so try not to terrorize the butler.

And he was bringing you a glass of milk for your breakfast!

Although he says that he’s dealt with a lot of unsettling things and he’s learned to maintain him composure. He didn’t even spill a drop.

Jarvis: “I must say, madame, that I find you rather more unsettling than our previous resident Avengers!”

Tigra: “Oh? You a cat-lover, Jarv?”

AND DON’T FLIRT WITH HIM EITHER TIGRA GEEZ

Poor Jarvis is even allergic to cats which seems to include giant cat women.

Jarvis asks how she got this way, prompting Tigra to give a very laconic backstory that once there was a human Greer Nelson who got almost dead and then the cat-people saved her life by turning her into a cat-person.

Tigra: “And, so, here I am, one pretty kitty! But, c’mon, Jarv, does it matter how I got this sexy?”

Jarvis clarifies that he meant how she got this way as in her upbringing. Like, why you so rude.

I guess I’ll just be grateful that this is just playful Tigra flirtiness as opposed to ‘i must make out with someone 24/7 oh hey a supervillain sure I’ll make you with you’ hypersexuality she’d have while on the West Coast Avengers, in the future.

Elsewhere, Tony Stark is decompressing from his one night stand, Teri. Admiring her very comfy couch, grateful that she’s still asleep so he can sneak out (Tony, you cad), and lamenting being on the wagon. When all that’s left to drink is scotch, bourbon, and half a can of warm, flat Dr. Pepper, you drink that Dr. Pepper if you’re Tony Stark.

Tony calls his secretary to have a janitorial crew clean up after the party and to send up a dozen roses for Teri.

And then he flies out the window as Iron Man, the Man Who Kisses and Runs! as Teri wakes up and is like ‘hey tonykins what the hell was that whooshing sound?’

Tony, you cad.

And elsewhere meanwhile, Steve Rogers wakes up promptly at six o’clock in the damn morning bright as the sun and raring to go. Disgusting. Truly disgusting.

I joked about Steve getting up at 6 to run ten miles and whatever because of him criticizing Beast that time but its sickening to see it in action.

Anyway, after he damn sings in the shower like the perky morning man he is, he bounces out the window to the first Avengers meeting since the roster shake-up, musing how little they know about Tigra and how he’ll have to keep an eye on her because he doesn’t know if she’ll crack under pressure or not.

And then onto, ok wow, we are just having full pages of individual Avengers going about their mornings.

So we’re onto Normal Human Man Dr. Donald Blake reaching the end of the night shift he just pulled at a hospital.

Nurse Wilson pretty blatantly flirts with him (thinking to herself “C’mon, doc! Notice that I’m a woman! I dare you!”). Normal Human Man Dr. Donald Blake doesn’t seem to notice but his thoughts are on her, wishing he could take her out for lunch but that he has important Avengers business.

He then taps his walking stick and transforms into Thor and flies off towards the mansion.

And that brings us to Cresskill where Janet van Dyne aka the Wasp and Hank Pym aka Yellowjacket are going about their morning.

Befitting her blase attitude last issue, Jan just wants to stay in bed longer and cuddle but Hank is desperate not to be late to his first meeting as a newly active Avenger again.

So he’s in costume and ready to go while she’s still choosing which of her many many costumes to wear. Albeit with the ulterior motive that she’s trying to look good for him. She does put in like 90% of the effort into the relationship.

So she’s narrowed her choices down to a red and blue costume and a green and purple outfit that looks like maybe she raided the Green Goblin’s wardrobe. She asks Hank to decide for her.

And he does. In a sense.

He blasts the green and purple number to shreds and yells “Wear the other one!” and when she protests the destruction of her stuff he goes “So what? Like you said you’ve got lots!”

Hmm. We haven’t seen Hank in a while. And he didn’t talk much last issue what with all the Moondragoning. But he’s taken a bit of a level in being a jackass.

And then on the ride to the mansion, the limo gets stuck in traffic.

Yellowjacket: “That does it! You can ride in your blasted chauffeured limo so your two-hundred dollar hair-do doesn’t get mussed -- but I’m flying to Avengers Mansion under my own power!”

And then he ditches. He ditches hard. Leaving Wasp to fly after him begging him to wait.

You’re a bit of a rude, Hank.

Like Hank feared, the two do arrive late to the meeting and he is gently ribbed by sudden class clown Captain America.

Captain America: “Well, look who’s finally here! Now the Wasp has arrived with her new partner -- uh, Yellowjacket, right? We can get started!”

Is funny joke. Its been a time so they’re pretending he’s a new guy and ha ha he’s being described as Wasp’s partner instead of vice versa. What an upset.

And it is an upset. Tigra notices what the other Avengers seem to miss, that Cap’s joke just pissed Yellowjacket off.

And its not helped when Cap mentions that its time to elect a new chairman but Iron Man interrupts to say that he and Thor have agreed that its better for Cap to remain chairman. They did just reorganize the roster and all. Some stability is fine.

Thor: “We choose to waive the elections! Such is our right as founding members!”

And this sets Yellowjacket right the hell off.

Yellowjacket: “Is that so? Well, I resent not being consulted! As the Ant Man I was a founding member, too!”

Iron Man: “uh, of course Hank... you and the Wasp! But you came in late... we’d already decided...”

Yeah! The Wasp too!

But Yellowjacket has some kind of insect in his bonnet and he yells that he’s done being forgotten and treated as a has-been while Janet just silently cringes.  She wonders what’s happened to the man she loves. And why he won’t let her reach him anymore.

The meeting continues but the scene transitions.

To a cottage in an isolated glade among the wooded hills of Virginia. Where the olde talking power couple of Gorn and Linnea wake up. Linnea wants to lay in bed with Gorn a while longer but he decides NAY TIME TO GET UP NOW.

Hey wait.

Hmmm.

I’m sensing... thematic parallels. I’m sure its nothing, though.

Anyway, Gorn is tired of living a quiet idyllic life in a beautiful glade with a woman who dearly loves him, as they’ve done for ten thousand years. His dander is up and he wants battles to fight and glory to win! He’s tired of being safe in the glade, protected by Linnea’s power. He’s a warrior, not a farmer!

(I see no evidence of farming around the cottage, just saying)

And since its either be ditched or go with him, Linnea decides to go with him.

Gorn: “You are beautiful in that gown, Linnea. Men shall again call you Elf-Queen as they did in ancient days!”

Linnea/Elf-Queen: “They also called me witch and devil-spawn! They are ever so cruel to my kind!”

Gorn: “Aye, and once we fled them! This time, if we must, we shall fight them!”

Ah, geez, Gorn. The cover implies this won’t go well for you.

So Gorn and Elf-Queen, him on foot and her on horseback) wander into Washington DC literally looking for trouble.

But before trouble, something to eat. Looking for an inn, they wander into a random restaurant.

Gorn, being Gorn, immediately starts yelling at the maitre d’, who he assumes is the innkeeper.

And here’s a bit of an interesting and not often used touch. Even though all speech bubbles are rendered without <> as is sometimes used to denote someone speaking a different language, Gorn and Elf-Queen Linnea are in fact speaking an ancient language.

Nobody can understand a thing they say.

And they can’t understand modern English.

This is a perfect setup for some farce.

Gorn ends up just yelling that he wants food and the maitre d’ gets the gist even though he doesn’t understand the words. This is Washington DC. A lot of people from other countries wander through. So he shows them to a table.

Linnea and Gorn decide that the maitre d’ is probably the innkeeper’s idiot brother. I mean, that’s probably why he can’t understand normal language, right?

And there’s more culture shock to be had. Linnea is realizing how differently dressed everyone is in this era. None of the men are even wielding swords!

Elf-Queen Linnea: “And the women, Gorn -- ! The way they’re dressed --! Like -- like harlots!”

Gorn: “Aye! Hmmm...” -totally staring at a butt and not paying attention-

Linnea: “Gorn... ?! I-if we stay here... would you like me to dress so? I do not know if I can learn the ways of these women... but for you my love, I would try! Gorn... ?”

Gorn: “Mmm...” -still not paying attention-

Linnea: (Oh, Gorn! For ten thousand years we have dwelt together in solitude, as one in our love! Am I to lose you now, here in this city of temptresses?)

Hmmm.... this reminds me of something.... but what?

A Barry Kaplan interrupts her inferiority anxiety by coming up and trying to hire her as a fashion model.

And neither Barry nor Linnea can understand each other still.

But she senses something of his intentions and warns him that this isn’t a good idea since she’s sitting next to a warrior and all.

Barry is like ‘maybe if I try other languages?’

And then Gorn notices. And Gorn is displeased.

Gorn: “NO ONE TOUCHES GORN’S WOMAN!”

Barry: “I warn you, I’ve had six jiu-jitsu lessons!”

Wow!

So Gorn gets up from that and just bodily lifts the guy over his head (Barry lamenting that he dropped out before jiu-jitsu lesson seven). But if you get the barbarian or warrior dropped into a modern setting trope they’re usually just way better than any soft modern man. So its funny to see this random dink get the better of Gorn, even if its just the preamble to what would have been Gorn delivering a thorough beatdown.

Its just not what you expect to see in this story.

Linnea magics Barry out of Gorn’s hands, trying to defuse the situation but Gorn interprets the situation as her ‘unmanning’ him.

Gorn: “Why, Linnea? Why do you seek to unman me? Is it not enough that your power has preserved my youth and kept me for centuries? Must you now interfere in my battles?”

Linnea meekly apologizes.

And then the maitre d’ comes pissed off that this loud, shouting weirdo started a fight and is going to call the police on them. Until Linnea goes ‘oh right we should pay for the damage we caused’ and gives the maitre d’ a gold and diamond necklace.

And the maitre d’ mentally goes cha-ching and reroutes an order about to be served to give to the big spending non-English speaking weirdos.

When Gorn and Elf-Queen finally leave the restaurant wouldn’t you know it, someone stole their damn horse!

What kind of city is it where you can’t leave a horse tied to a parking meter without someone making off with it??

Linnea once again is like ‘hey lets go home to our nice glade where nobody ever stole our horse’

Gorn: “It is your home, Linnea, where I am but a guest -- nay, a pet kept by your grace. Ages ago, I was a renowed warrior, honored and feared by nations and kings! If I am to be a man in my own eyes I must regain the glory I once knew!”

And then a cop comes up to Gorn because you can’t just carry a sword around Washington DC.

Gorn: “Eh? His words are gibberish but the intent is clear! This blue-clad warrior issues me a challenge! Have at thee scoundr- AHH!”

And then the cop just maces Gorn.

Its not funny like the talent agent tossing him into a salad bowl because: cops. Its still a little funny because: Gorn.

Anyway, while Gorn is screaming and coughing the cop just slaps some handcuffs on him.

And Linnea magics the cop away from her boyfriend and worries over him.

Given this new horrible thing that has happened to them, another in a line of horrible things happening to them once they left their home, Linnea begs Gorn again to give up this quest to fight a random thing to make himself feel manly.

Linnea: “I am so worried, Gorn! The world has grown so strange! There is so much here that we do not understand! Please, let us go back before something terrible befalls us!”

He again refuses and she asks if he would die for his pride.

So he slaps her across the face.

And after all that she’s meekly gone along with his whims and tantrums and whatever else ways to describe Gorn’s exceptionally gornish way of being, she draws the line here.

Linnea: “Go ahead, Gorn -- stay! Win your stupid ‘glory’! I do not care! Farewell!”

And she just walks away into the sky, twinkle, because she can do that.

When she’s too far to hear he whispers an apology but its too late and he sadly trudges off alone into the city.

Wow, that was six pages of just Gorn and Linnea, Elf-Queen. That’s nearly a fourth of the whole issue! We spend a lot of time with these two new characters!

Back at Avengers Mansion, Iron Man and Yellowjacket prep the Quinjet to fly.

Wasp: “You mean we’re going all the way to Washington, D.C. just because somebody there claims they saw a woman walking on air? What’s new about that? I do it every time my sweetie Hank gives me a wink! Then, again, they do have some wonderful stores there! Last time I went there I bought six fur coats!”

Tigra: “Sounds expensive! I’m lucky! Mine’s built in!”

Iron Man chimes in that the air-walking woman also assaulted a cop so clearly this looks like a job for the Avengers.

But when they finish up checking the Quinjet, Yellowjacket says that he’s discovered the ‘sonomodulator circuit’ on his disruptor gun is acting up.

He’s pretty sure he can fix it but Wasp chimes in with a more different idea.

Wasp: “I’ll just ring up Jeeves over at the East Side Penthouse! He can grab one of those doohickies from your lab there and zip right over in the limo! It’ll just take a few minutes!”

Yellowjacket: “You love doing that, don’t you? You love taking every opportunity to flaunt your blasted money! Well, I don’t need your butlers, your cars or your money -- and I don’t need you!”

And Wasp runs off crying that she only wanted to help. Yellowjacket storms into the Quinjet telling the other Avengers to forget Wasp and get going.

Making the other Avengers feel very awkward about witnessing this fight. Cap even feels as if he should do something but doesn’t know what since its a personal matter.

A suggestion? Mandated couples counseling since this kind of thing could affect the team, will be the reason you give? Like. This clearly is something that’s going to cause trouble. Get ahead of it, Cap.

Meanwhile, back in Washington D.C. because yes Gorn didn’t just walk out of the book forever alone. He walked into a very honestly uncomfortably stereotypical gang who decide hey maybe we should mug that guy with the sword, it’ll probably pawn for something.

Gorn still can’t understand a thing anyone says but they’re carrying weapons and finally here’s a situation he understands. And finally he also doesn’t get played for a chump. He just wades into the crowd of six and starts laying them out with his bare hands.

This is what you’d typically see for a warrior type dropped into modern world thing.

Oh and then the cops hear the fight and go hey its that guy with the sword that there was an APB about.

And Gorn goes, hey its guys wearing the same livery of the guy that got me with that stinging vapor. Time to run at them with a sword.

So they shoot him five times.

And he dies.

It turns out that Linnea has been watching Gorn from a distance this whole time, apparently unwilling to actually ditch. So she sees him get gunned down.

She floats down from the sky to his side and realizes that he is already dead. The cops mistake sky woman for an angel (but there was an APB out for Gorn so why didn’t the flying woman warrant a mention?) but if Linnea is, she’s an avenging one.

She turns on the cops with her magic and makes them sink up to their necks into the concrete.

Elf-Queen: “Are you begging? It is for naught! He’s dead! DEAD! My love is dead -- and this city, this world shall PAY!”

And she turns her magic on Washington D.C., blasting a building and a helicopter, lashing out in grief at the world that killed her dickbag boyfriend.

This is when the Avengers finally arrive to the Plot, in this Avengers book.

The Avengers just see someone breaking property and go to stop her.

Captain America: “Avengers... attack!”

Of course, Tony being Tony, and kind of a loose man immediately gets distracted at the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.

Iron Man: “Excuse me, miss! Couldn’t we discuss whatever’s bothering you... say, over dinner at the diplomat club?”

Its... not a bad idea. A little bit of empathy. Its just his motive that’s bad.

And also, his inability to speak ancient languages. Elf-Queen still can’t understand a thing anyone says. She does think a flying man in armor is something Gorn would have liked. But that just makes her mad.

So she magics a railing to wrap up Iron Man.

Thor grabs Elf-Queen from behind, pulling her arm behind her back. Its strikingly reminiscent of the Standard Female Grab Area trope but Elf-Queen doesn’t believe in that trope.

Elf-Queen: “You are strong, jackal! Your strength might have been enough to hold even me -- had you not presumed I was as frail as I appear!”

And she throws Thor into what is probably a monument.

Hmm, Iron Man and Thor got dunked so far because they really underestimated this woman because she’s a woman. Maybe don’t do that?

Meanwhile, Yellowjacket is thinking that this is his chance to prove what a star he is, if he’s the one that takes the threat down with his disruptor blast.

While Elf-Queen distracts herself with the dropped Mjolnir, Yellowjacket tries to shoot her with his disruptor from behind.

But it shorts out again!

Maybe he should have gotten the replacement part instead of trying to jury-rig a repair!

Elf-Queen senses the power in Mjolnir and tries to pick it up to better smash the world but finds she can’t lift it.

She guesses that there’s some enchantment on it since it doesn’t crumble the ground beneath it.

SO

So she magics the ground to form a hand to grab and lift Mjolnir.

And then she hits Thor in the face with his own hammer. Hah.

Another for the list of silly Mjolnir loopholes.

Linnea monologues about her backstory because. Look. She may not be a villain. And people may not be able to understand a word she says. But people in comics have to comic.

Elf-Queen: “I am Linnea, called Elf Queen and great is the power I was born with! It transported my love and me across the ocean to this land ages ago in search of solitude! It preserved our youth! It kept us hidden when civilization spread its taint hither! The forces, forms and sustenance of the world bend to my will -- but all my power cannot help my Gorn now! Now, my gift serves only as a means for vengeance!”

Iron Man manages to tear free of the railing wrapped around him just as Tigra loudly pounces at Elf-Queen.

And Elf-Queen just gestures and sends Tigra flying into the air. High, high into the air. So high, so into the air that Iron Man has to fly after her to make sure Tigra doesn’t end up asphyxiating in space.

With all of the other Avengers out of action (or standing around uselessly like Yellowjacket), Elf-Queen turns out wrath on Captain America.

She blasts a building, sending a whole wall at him.

Cap dodges through the rain of rubble and berates himself. He realizes that he should have attacked sooner but he’s been holding back, trying to figure things out.

She’s speaking a language that doesn’t sound like any he knows of. Her clothes seem to be of ancient design. And he’s wondering if she maybe just popped out of the past, somehow surviving from some age undreamt of.

And hey, relatable, kinda. He spent decades in suspended animation.

Elf-Queen throws a lake of fire between her and Cap and Cap figures hey she’ll expect me to go around. So he jumps over it, doing her a startle.

Cap: “Good! I took her completely off guard! This is a perfect chance -- to show her that we want only peace!”

So he stands in front of her, hands to his side, palms showing. Showing no aggression.

Elf-Queen: “You did not strike when you had the opportunity! I could slay you easily now! Unflinchingly you face death! How like... my Gorn... my brave warrior!”

The fight could have ended here. Could. Could have. Could’ve.

Because Yellowjacket has been focused entirely on fixing his disruptor this whole time and has not paid any attention to how the fight has been going.

So when he gets the disruptor fixed, he doesn’t think ‘oh hey Cap is standing there and nobody is currently fighting!’ he thinks ‘wow this is a really easy shot’ and shoots Elf-Queen in the back.

And turns out that Linnea - a person who can toss Thor around - can also weather a disruptor. So she’s just mad. Furiously.

She figures that Cap’s courage was just a bold ruse. So she’s going to kill him. AFTER she throws a car at Yellowjacket.

Yellowjacket: “Oh, no! My sting’s shorted out again! No time to dodge! I’ll be crushed!”

But before Hank can be crushed like some kind of insect, can’t really think of a specific example, he is saved by Jan, who comes out of nowhere and blasts the car away with all of her might.

And apparently car blasting is under that umbrella.

But it takes it out of her and she weakly flutters to the ground.

Hank has mixed feelings about not being dead.

Yellowjacket: “You -- you saved me! You shattered the truck with your bio-electric sting! You saved me! You! She must have followed us down here... probably chartered a plane! She followed us down here, and when I was dead meat for sure, she saved me! Why her? WHY?”

Where are you in your life where you have to ask that, Hank?

Elf-Queen is like well that just happened but I’m just going to try to kill him again.

But Cap jumps in front of her again and very assertively non-aggressives.

Captain America: “Don’t do it! Don’t you see? It was a mistake -- an accident! If only you could understand me! Don’t kill him!”

Elf-Queen: “You dare stand in my way? Can you not see the rage in my eyes?”

But nonetheless, she subsides. The Avengers all re-assemble, ready to rush her but Cap tells them to stand down.

Elf-Queen Linnea starts crying and just walks away from the team.

Feeling a bit awkward, Cap decides to follow her to see what’s what. And they find her crying over Gorn.

Thor: “A fallen warrior! Her husband, perchance?”

Captain America: “Somehow I -- I think I knew! I mean... I’m not surprised! She seemed... grief-stricken!”

Iron Man: “I -- I wonder how this all came to pass?”

They’ll probably never know. The shot isn’t wide enough to say for sure but I think that if the Avengers saw, they’d say. I’m pretty sure those cops Linnea sank into the concrete have finished sinking. So it goes.

Cap says he’s sorry for what happened, knowing that his words will probably mean nothing to her. Language gap and all.

Linnea: “I hear compassion in your voice, brave champion! Is there such a thing in this cold, cruel place, save in your own heart? I cannot forgive your world for what it has taken from me.. but, for you, who are so much alike my beloved... for you, I will go in peace... for now!”

Yeah. She’s never coming back.

This is her and Gorn’s only appearance.

So despite Tigra wondering if she’ll be back and despite Iron Man’s suspicion that she might be a mutant, it doesn’t matter.

She’s done her role in the narrative and she’s gone.

But as the Avengers try to figure out what this was all about, Wasp looks at Yellowjacket with worry. For the issue ends with him still consumed in bitter thoughts and oblivious to Wasp.

And the big next time teaser says COURT MARTIAL! so. Yeah.

We’re coming on to a storyline that anyone who knows at least two things about Hank Pym knows. You probably already know it or will be able to guess it.

I was familiar with this story but only the moment where Hank shoots Elf-Queen in the back and makes things worse for himself. I hadn’t absorbed via osmosis how much of a shit he was being throughout. And nobody ever talks about Gorn.

Which is a shame.

The title of the issue comes right out and connects the obvious dots.

“Men of deadly pride!”

And that can only be Hank Pym and Gorn.

Much of this issue doesn’t actually feature the Avengers. There’s this long stretch in the middle that just has Gorn and Linnea leaving their home, traveling to the big city, Gorn’s attitude getting worse and worse, and finally his death.

Its clear enough that Gorn represents Hank Pym.

Hank rails against Janet for flaunting her money and emotionally withdraws from her and even becomes angry with her. He rankles at the idea he might be perceived her partner instead of vice versa. Feels he’s not being given the respect he deserves.

While Gorn resents that Linnea is the one caring for him. He emotionally withdraws from her. He perceives himself a pet to her. That he was once renowned and desperately needs to regain his glory.

And he just gets angrier when Linnea has to rescue him from his dumb mistakes.

Much like Jan had to rescue Hank in this issue, something that basically made Hank check out of the rest of the issue.

I don’t know what Gorn may have been like ten thousand years ago that Linnea sees him in Captain America most, but he’s a shadow for Hank Pym.

And what’s interesting is how the story looks at Gorn and his machismo. His obsessive preoccupation with proving himself. The story highlights the problems he creates for himself eventually leading to his death. It shows a person that just can’t live in the modern world.

And then the story looks at Hank Pym. One of the 60s style manly men holdovers. Paints him in much the same light. And seems to ask. “Can you live in the modern world?”

The question is in the air.

Its not particularly deep symbolism. But it surprised me that nobody ever mentions it.

Interestingly, if Hank is Gorn then Jan is Linnea. Their personalities are different enough that this might seem strange.

But they both draw the line in a similar place with their partners.

And there was a What If? based on this issue What If? #35 where Hank did die, much as Gorn did. And Wasp became an avenging angel of her own. Taking the identity of Black Wasp and brutally attacking criminals.

She even contemplates letting Cap be killed by falling debris, blaming him for Hank’s death.

All I can say is that this has been one awkward first day for Tigra.

Follow @essential-avengers​. Like or reblog this post. Stay tuned for more of this sort of thing.

[ansgar-martinsson]

The Best Intentions - Part 4

“Well,” Ansgar set his pint down and folded his hands deliberately upon the table. “My business philosophy has always been one of going above and beyond the least. The least isn’t good enough, you see. Even, sometimes, my best isn’t…,” his hesitation was involuntary, but he recovered, tipping his chin beneath a haughty, prideful expression, “my best isn’t good enough… in my estimation.”

He shrugged, reaching for his pint and once again bringing it to his lips. “So, Joline Lindberg,” he took a sip of his beer and licked his lips, “what I am saying – what I am proposing, is that I… that Martinsson Construction, that is, provides you… the Stockholm Opera House, that is… with funding, some amount that you and I agree upon to meet some need for the gala. Whatever need isn’t met yet, whether it be the catering, or something structural, or transport, or security, or music, or, whatever it is where you see a need,” he set his glass back down again, punctuating his point, “I will provide it - not only the money but the manpower, the assitance.”

“So,” he said, his grin broad and honest. “What do you say to that sort of thing? Not an obligation, then, but a…,” he squinted in momentary thought, “a partnership?”

And with that, he held out his hand to her.

“A partnership,” she whispered reverently. The offer was more than she ever hoped to gain by borrowing her mother’s car and burgled shoes. It represented more than she sought to gain from meetings with Wiessing. “That’s a triumph for Career Jo!”

To a symphony of clinking glasse, scraping silverware and chatting people, Joline noticed a gentle breeze wafted her hand into his. Heartily she gripped and shook, “I’d love that really.”

His handshake was powerful, and his hand hot, strong and oddly tender. A silent force, but active reserve in play. He could use them to handle delicate china or deliver untold devastation.

“So this gala of yours, when is it? How can I help?” Ansgar Martinsson inquired after their hands lingered slight longer than custom.

Jo sat back beaming at the win for the Opera House. “Uh, same night as our season debut, the seventh of September. In the lobby. My staff has most everything sorted, being that it’s only a few weeks from now.”

Ansgar produced his mobile from the hidden breast pocket of his blazer. Swiping those long graceful fingers over the display, he entered some personal notes. “Please got on. I’m listening.” His direction sounded curt and clipped, but his tone was soft, sure and non-threatening.

Jo admired his directness, his business sense and his ability to multitask. He asked appropriate questions as Jo rattled off many of the details that she recalled from memory. The caterer had been scheduled, the staff to serve drinks, musicians hired, security increased and a photographer hired.

Ansgar gestured for the waiter to refill their drinks while he continued to make notes or sent succinct messages to Britta.

“I do have an idea – well, several to be fair – for the gala,” Jo finally circled round. “And beyond actually. I wanted to hold an auction, silent or grand – I’m still thinking it through. Fund raising for future projects in and around the Opera House.”

He’d put down his mobile to dedicate all of his attention to her plan. His legs stretched out underneath the table, one ankle crossed over the other. He watched as she got more excited.

“That’s where I need you,” she met his direct gaze. “Your contacts, your posh friends and business associates and their deep pockets. Come to the gala and bid up past costumes or set pieces or props. I’d like to restore and re-imagine that little theatre in the west wing, for intimate concerts and workshops for the university. The Globe did it years ago, and it works as another revenue stream all year round. But I need funding to do that. I’ll also need you to estimate the cost of that… a goal for such an auction.”

Ansgar nodded. “I’ll start making some contacts this afternoon, get some calls going,” he said. He knew, though, with those posh friends and business associates, those contacts weren’t as strong as they’d been before he… before he left. Some of those contacts he hadn’t even reconnected with since he’d been back, others had left him some rather negative emails and voice mails after reading the news of his return.

Where the hell have you been?

Why didn’t you tell me you were back?

How fucking irresponsible can you be?

Screw you, Martinsson. I thought you were dead.

Sorry, Sgar. I’ve got a new joint venture with….

We’ve moved on. Moved on. Moved on.

He smiled, bunching up his napkin and resting it on the side of his plate. “Shall we go? I can drive you back to my office. I believe your car is still there.”

“Yeah,” she said. “My car’s still at your office.”

The woman had dreams, big ones, and she reminded him of himself. She was tenacious, ambitious, and that ambition was attractive. He found himself smiling as she talked in the car, as he listened - as she spoke of funding sources and writing grants and relationship building and plans plans and more plans.

“And when I was in America, I worked for a major university, in their theatre department. I ran the fine arts center, and spent most of my time revamping the talent schedule, getting the stage equipment updated, and… hey, have you ever been to America?”

Ansgar pulled his car into its parking spot, shoved it into gear, and turned off the ignition. “Yeah,” was all he said, his voice curt and clipped. “I’ve been.”  He unfolded himself from the car and walked around the back. He opened her door and offered her his hand.

She placed her hand in his and stood. Ansgar felt a strange chill go through him, as if he was being scanned - she’d looked up at him, her eyes narrowing with a cock of her head. She studied him for a split second that seemed an eternity. “You okay? You seem a little bit off just now.”

Ansgar swallowed, giving his head a small shake. “Yes, I’m fine,” he said. Lowering his head, he gestured widely with his left hand. “This way. Your car is in the car park upstairs.”

“Thank you for lunch,” she commented towards the taller man’s back, his loafers clicking on the smooth concrete. The mention of America triggered him, in a small way, deflated him. He tried to hide it by leading the way to the car park. “By the way…” Her feet skipped a step to meet his stride and walk beside him. “It was unexpected, productive… thank you for that!”

“You are quite welcome. It was a pleasure.” Another bland automatic response, his thoughts elsewhere.

Jo didn’t take offense, only kept a steady gait with him. “Next business meal’s on me.”

He side-eyed her to check for truth or for an extra limb or appendage. Usually, back in his other life, when women learned who Ansgar was and what he was worth, the question of payment landed on him. All the time.

The sun beamed down on them then as they stepped out from the private carport overhang to the guest lot. No third arm or extra nose on the woman… no airs, no attitudes; she just was. He wondered if she handled his moody like she did her talent.

He found a smile, a weak and surprised one, underneath the mountain of memories. “We’ll see about that,” he responded noncommittally.

“May I ask you something? It’s a bit rhetorical, a lot personal, and entirely none of my business.” The two stopped at the door of the mini, the smell of Linnea, petrol and damp wafting off the river. “This is me,” she announced with an off-hand gesture.

Ansgar surveyed the car shortly, then the woman, and then the car once more. One eyebrow cocked up in disbelief. “This is not you.”

Jo cracked a smile. “Borrowed me. My ride…” she shrugged, searching for the right phrase, “uh, not appropriate for the skirt.”

“Ah!”

Tucking her hair behind her ears, Jo turned fully to her companion as they stood in the summer sun as it pressed down into them. She glanced at her feet, digging her hands deep into the rear pockets of her jeans.

Ansgar dared, as he always would regardless the woman, a trailing stare down her body. While she contemplated her shoes against the pavement, he drank in her long legs, firm thighs, and curve of her breasts, accentuated by the strain of black cotton. He yanked his focus from her just as she looked up again.

“I was gonna say… gonna ask,” she clicked her tongue against her teeth, losing some of her nerve. She’d be disappointed in herself if she didn’t speak her mind. “You said that you’d been away,” she squinted in curiosity, “Are you happy being home? Are you happy here?”

His nostrils flared. His lips pressed together into a tight straight line. The entitlement… the brazen…

Her hands flew up to beg mercy. “It’s none of my damn business. Don’t answer. Only food for thought… rhetorical, ‘member?” Another shrug lifted her shoulder, this one offered up in apology. “Thank you again for lunch… and your attention. Truly.” She produced her business card from her back pocket and slipped it into the pocket of his blazer.

“Ring me, won’t you? When you schedule work in the theatre? I’ll be there to help, yeah?” She didn’t let his silence get to her. “I’d fancy a lesson so I know what to look for… in the future.”

Jo felt that she’d shocked him enough for their first meeting. She voted against a friendly gesture of a kiss on each cheek. He seemed so in need of something nice, something pleasant, but she perhaps wasn’t the right person to extend that. Not yet.

She folded herself into the car, waving out the oppressive heat. “Until next time, Herr Martinsson.”

“Until next time, Froken Lindberg,” he said, giving her a polite bow of the head. He set his hand on the car frame, but it was she who closed it, leaning over and pulling the door closed with a tinny thunk. He lifted the same hand in a gesture of farewell as she started the small car, put it into gear, looked over her shoulder and backed it out, shifting again to drive away.

He lowered his hand as he watched after her for a moment. “No, if you must know,” he murmured. “I’m not happy being home. I’m not happy here. I’m not happy anywhere. Not yet at least.”

And he turned on his heel and strode back into his building.

***

Later, in the early evening, after he’d spent hours on the phone (angrily and heatedly lecturing… threatening… his sprinkler subcontractor, warning his surety agent, seeking counsel from his construction solicitor, chewing out his mechanical engineer, and instructing his public relations manager with regard to the gala) and another few hours bent over Opera House plans and specs, he sat back, yawned, and stretched. “Oh, fuck,” he moaned. “Fuck this all to hell.”

He hadn’t anticipated spending the entire day on the Opera House. He hadn’t anticipated coming back to face a shit-storm like he was facing, both physically with the coordination of work, or on a public relations level. What would it do for the press to learn that Martinsson Construction’s flagship project for the past three and a half years had sprung massive leaks? What would it do indeed?

It would do a massive pile of fuck all, that’s what it’d do.

Or perhaps, he thought he had anticipated it. He’d trusted his staff – or perhaps, when he left all that time ago, he hadn’t even given it any thought as to whether he could trust anyone who would carry on the business in his absence. He simply didn’t care, not then. There were other things to care about. Or not.

Perhaps he should have cared.

He’d left no note, no word, no nothing to the Board, only a quick email from a new, nondescript and untraceable Gmail account to his solicitors, telling them that he was taking leave from his position as CEO for the foreseeable future, that they should put the temporary succession plan in place, and that he would advise upon his return.

What else could he have expected?

And from Joline Lindberg? What more should I expect?

He shook his head, taken aback by the thought of her that slithered its way into his tired mind. The image of her, her anticipatory grin, those curves tightly wrapped in that pair of jeans, that blacker than black shirt showing off every bit of her, of her on that motorcycle she talked about, and… Damn it!

He scrubbed at his face, coursing his hands down to stretch his skin, his mouth gaping open as his fingers pulled down on the edge of his jaw to curve around and pull at the tight, aching flesh of his neck.

… and then he closed his eyes, and the thought of her invaded again. He found his fingers splayed, pressing lower, down his chest, over his stomach to his groin and…

Fuck! No! No fucking way!

He shook his hand violently. “She’s a client, you arse,” he muttered, sneering in self-disgust. “Dickhead.”  He woke up his computer, and opened his emails. Something to do, something to get his mind off of…

FROM: j.lindberg@StockholmOpera.se

Ansgar sighed, chuckled mirthlessly to himself, and opened the email.

Jo slumped further into her computer chair, one foot tucked under her and the other poised on the lip. She bobbed her head, her chin brushing her knee. She chewed absently on the end of her pen, reading over her email… again. The screensaver popped up and littered her document with digital air-borne balloons, bouncing this way and that. A sign from some almighty spirit to save her from, in fact, confirming her brand of crazy for the man that she spent most of her afternoon.

Her mouth spluttered around her pen as she tried to call out to her mother. “Mamma?” she spat, her tongue falling out of her mouth momentarily. She threw the oral fixation aside and tried again, “Mamma?” She called blindly through the house from the comfort of her office, which was little more than a closet. She kept her desk, chair, laptop and a poster of The Globe in London on her wall. To this day, her favorite gig she’d ever done, and it was only a fortnight workshop.

“Joly, I’m… fine.”

“Are ya? Really? Can I get something for ya?” She untangled her limbs and padded along the champagne colored rug.

“No, no… Joly, I’m fine.”

Jo followed the sound of her mother’s voice to her room at the opposite of end of the hallway. She found the woman in her favorite chair near the window, knitting another scarf or booties or mittens for her grandsons that the eight year olds had outgrown about four years ago. “Did you take your meds, mamma?”

“You didn’t need to come in here. I heard yer mouth.”

Choosing to ignore the snark, Jo bent and kissed her mother’s forehead. She did it every night, not only as an ‘I love you’ but also to check her temperature subtly. Her mother hated the fuss, and Jo adapted her behavior to it. “Did you take your meds?”

“Yeah, yeah… I have. What are you working on in there?” Emelie jerked her head towards the door, her fingers working like magic, over and under, cross and weaving, gracing the yarn in a spell.

“Proving to my… partner… that I am as mad as he believes me to be.”

“Brilliant pastime, my dear.”

Jo checked over her mother’s levels and notes from earlier in the day before her treatments. She said nothing, only noted it to herself. She felt just a pang of guilt for not having gone with her to hospital that day.

“Joly, come away from there. I’m fine.” Her needles clicked and danced, progressing along whatever project it was.

“I’m going with you for the next—“

“Joly, torturing your… partner with your neurosis is time better spent than bothering over me.”

“Neuroses if you please, mamma.”

With that, Jo exited her mother’s room and headed back to her office to reconsider sending that email once more. She dropped into her chair just as she had before, swiping her middle finger over the touchpad to rouse it and chase away the balloons.

She read:

TO: amartinsson@martinsson.co.se                       20:33pm  1 attachment

Herr Martinsson,

Please forgive the unexpected email AND the Stanley person who gave me your email. Not to worry, I don’t believe it was his true identity and you’ll be pleased to know that he didn’t give it up without a fight. Your employees do respect your privacy to the utmost.

I had some additional thoughts regarding the Opera House because I needed the distraction more than anything else. I sat down at my computer and wrote a formal proposal, see attached. I assumed that you would like some sort of project proposal and a contract between us. An understanding, if you will.

If you’d like to email me back, I’d appreciate knowing if you’re available, if you’re open to more ravings of a lunatic…

Or you can tell me to bugger off in your colorful way. I await your response.

Yours,

Joline Lindberg

And then she foolishly hit send.