#//i took that hiatus because i was spending a bit of time off already and that really was the load that sank the ship | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starg1rlie · 1 year ago

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𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 ㅤㅤPROLOGUE: The Baby | (MLIST)

⟡ rating. slight romance + angst ( adolescent audience )

⟡ summary. ( the re-written version of "better late than never" is finally here! i know some people have asked about it, since i've deleted it but it's BACK NOW!! ) not all fairy tales end in a happily-ever-after. take (Y/N) and ajax for example; they had the love story of a lifetime and yet it's now all water under the bridge. ten years after the two of them split up, it was suggested that (Y/N) spend a summer vacation over in snezhnaya to give their son and the father some time to bond together and enjoy a relaxing break. however, that's easier said than done.

notes. you have no idea how long this post has been sitting in my drafts, oml. hey, yep, this is leo here, formerly known online as tarluscious (or, leo, as my moots know me), here to talk a bit about the remake of this delightful series. ever since i started publishing more and more chapters of this series back when it was still a "fly by the seat of my pants" project, i wasn't happy with the final results. i mean, hell, who's ever happy with the first attempt? and i've been meaning to re-write this series for so long, but i never found the time to. when i took my hiatus a couple of months ago, i was a little sad that i wouldn't get the chance to write BLTN over again. however, my friend, who now runs this blog (hyokkun) with me, suggested that they might re-write it, and we came to a happy conclusion that the both of us should work on this project together. so here we are, with the prologue. yayy. just wanted to say that what this means is, hyokkun has added their own inputs into this series, while i, leo, am the main author of it. so, all that being said, i hope you thoroughly enjoy this re-written version. please note that some things may be different from the last time you've read this series, and that's because changes has been made to fit the new plot accordingly. reblogs and likes are appreciated ! | wc. 1,542 words ( 8,566 characters )

⟡ feat. childe / tartaglia x female! reader ( she / her pronouns are used )

ㅤㅤA cry split through the peaceful silence of the hospital. A baby, swaddled in warm, cuddly blankets had begun wailing, even though he was cradled within the arms of his mother. He kept bawling, even as the mother hummed a lullaby, even as she rocked him back and forth in her arms, even as she cupped one side of his delicate face and whispered 'It's going to be okay' over and over again.

ㅤㅤA new wave of sickness passed over (Y/N) as she stared down at her stomach, imagining what it would be like bigger, pondering over the process it takes for a baby to develop within her. It both simultaneously intrigued and terrfied her. She couldn't imagine popping out a baby from her unmentionables, let alone having it stuck in her womb for months. Yet as she began to wonder, a new question came into light: would she give up this baby? Could she?

ㅤㅤPeople say that you don't really have a choice when you're young; no one's capable of raising a child when they're barely just a young adult, and yet, she could name a few people she knew right off the bat who were doing just fine with parenting. But the real question was if she was ready for this. Be it ready to give it up or ready to endure the consequences, it didn't matter. She just had to know for sure if she was ready.

ㅤㅤShe still remembered the conversation that had went down only a few weeks ago. She refers to it as a 'discussion', but really, it was a full-out argument....A migraine had formed underneath her temple and had buried its heels in deep, causing a resonating pounding to echo within her head, messing with her already tangled up thoughts. And yet, that day's memories remained untouched. If anything, it was tugged free of the mess and pulled into the light.

ㅤㅤ"What the fuck? What the fuck?"

ㅤㅤ"Saying 'what the fuck' over and over again isn't going to make the situation anymore better than it already is, Ajax," (Y/N) interrupted, breathing out a slightly exasperated sigh. She'd been scared out of mind about telling her boyfriend about the news and this was exactly why: he'd take it badly. He always took life-changing news badly, unless it involved travelling, free food, or money. She'd grown used to his childish behaviour ever since the two started going out, but right now was not the time to act like a child.

ㅤㅤ"Then what will make this better? Huh? Please elaborate on that for me," Ajax replied sarcastically, throwing his hands up in the air. He'd been pacing for the past five minutes since (Y/N) had spilled the beans about her pregnancy. Anymore pacing and he'd pace a trench right through their apartment floor. "Because I really don't understand how anything can make this better."

ㅤㅤ"Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that you're going to be a father? Haven't you been going on and on about wanting to have a son one day?" (Y/N) retorted, patience fizzling.

ㅤㅤ"When I'm thirty, not twenty-four!"

ㅤㅤ"What's a few years early? If anything, you'd get your dream quicker," she mumbled under her breath, absentmindedly flipping through the channels on the cable.

ㅤㅤAjax leapt forward and snatched the remote out of her hands, slamming it roughly onto the glossy surface of their coffee table, one that he'd insisted he put together himself, even though the table had come from IKEA, and he knew nothing on how to read instructions in Swedish. That little memory caused a tiny pang to go through her heart, enough to make it ache just a little bit. Please, she prayed, please let us get through this together.

ㅤㅤ"You're not listening! Do you honestly think that I'm ready for this? That you're ready for this? We're still in college for God's sake, do you expect us to be whizzes at parenthood?"

ㅤㅤ(Y/N) barely managed to withhold a snort at his sarcasm, but politely shook her head. She knew deep down inside that she wasn't ready to be a mother, let alone have a child at such a young age. What would her friends think? What would her parents think?

ㅤㅤ"What, then, I 'spose you expect us to waltz right in and get comfortable in our positions as parents, right? We'll be fine, so long as we manage to balance a baby into our already hectic and crazy lives, right? Just plop it right in between work and college and paying bills, hm?"

ㅤㅤ"Right," she repeated.

ㅤㅤAjax paused his pacing for a moment. "Do you understand the concept of sarcasm?" he asked incredulously.

ㅤㅤ(Y/N) went silent, seemingly contemplating whether she'd been too hasty to cast in her answer earlier.

ㅤㅤ"Whatever. It doesn't matter." His jaw tensed and for a moment, he looked as though he might punch something. Not (Y/N), heavens no, but something. Possibly the fridge (poor thing; it never did anything to deserve this sort of abuse). "What matters is that you're pregnant and we're still in college. We're students, we can barely make it past out deadlines, let alone manage a child." He sounded almost tired, and for the first time in a while, she just now noticed the bags under his eyes, and the tired croak to his voice, taking the place of the usual charming lilt he normally had. How many times had she come home from her part-time job at the laundromat to see him passed out on the exact same coffee table they were currently in front of, drooling all over his calculus homework? How many times had she come back from her lectures to find a pristine sink and an empty fridge? Ajax was incredibly vain and conscious about his self-image, that he took great lengths to make himself look presentable each day. But ever since his senior year in college started, his schedue started going downhill and he never had the time to do any of the things he normally did to take care of his body. He hadn't eaten proper food for days, and has been liviing off of coffee (and her fancy vanilla oatmilk creamer) and Doritos for God knows how long.

ㅤㅤ"What are we going to do?" (Y/N) asked finally, voice timid and quiet, as if anything louder might break the fragility of this scene.

ㅤㅤWhen Ajax looked up, she had expected his face to be sad, almost regretful for saying such things about the situation, but instead she found his gaze hard and penetrating, almost menacing. "We can't look after a baby right now, (Y/N), you know that."

ㅤㅤAnd the truth was, she did know it. She just chose not to believe it. But the way he worded it, the way he said it, seemed to hint at something. Something that made waves of nausea roll through the pits of her stomach.

ㅤㅤ"You're not suggesting...."

ㅤㅤ"An abortion," Ajax finished quietly, gaze trained on a coffee stain on the carpet.

ㅤㅤ"Ajax, no. No. We can't give the baby up before we've even tried. That's just cruel. This is your child, possibly the son you said you wanted, and you're just going to throw him away? Let him die before he gets a chance to play on a soccer team, like you did? Before he even gets a chance to see the two people who made him?" Your voice broke at those last few words and before you knew it, tears were streaming down your face in thick, wet trails. "You might be giving up on him, but I'm never letting go."

ㅤㅤAjax inhaled sharply, air hissing through clenched teeth as he breathed out. "We aren't ready for this, (Y/N)."

ㅤㅤ She knew he was right. She knew it in her heart and in her brain. But some part of her wanted to keep this unborn baby that was developing within her stomach right now. Some part of her wanted to know the happiness of being a parent, a mother.

ㅤㅤShe didn't want to follow through with this. She didn't want to let the baby die. And yet...

ㅤㅤ"Miss (L/N)? You can come in now. Dr. Li's ready for you," a voice called, interrupting (Y/N)'s train of thought. She looked up, one hand resting on her tummy, the other clenched around a cell phone. The screen was still on, a barrage of messages (most likely from her family and friends) lighting up the screen with soft 'pings'.

ㅤㅤShe breathed in deeply, exhaling slowly, a breathing trick she'd learned from online to calm her nerves down.

ㅤㅤFinally, she spoke.

ㅤㅤ"Ah, sorry. I'm afraid I've changed my mind. If it's alright with you, I'll be canceling my appointment."

ㅤㅤThe nurse hesitated for a moment before nodding along. She obviously was not paid enough to barge into patients' lives, so she (wisely) kept her nose in her own business. "Of course, miss. I'll let him know you'll be leaving. Have a lovely rest of your day."

ㅤㅤ(Y/N) nodded along before waddling out of the waiting room, feeling giddy and deliriously light from the weight that had just been lifted from her shoulders. Ajax would be upset over this, yes, but it would be worth it. She could feel it in her bones.

📮 tagging. @kiryoutann, @ajaxstar, @mobiussdarling, @samarill, @dinolvrrr, @messyserver, @xxfrostiee, @enviouspeanut, @ehddsnys, @maaarshieee, @dazaiscum, @mochicurls21, @shinobuko, @iiyumii, @meiraloves2dmen, @retiredmommylover, @electronicphilosopherflower. if your user is highlighted in BOLD that means your current URL does not match the one you inputted in the form. fill out this form if you want to be tagged

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the-invisible-queer · 8 months ago

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so do you have post-JONAS headcanons for Joe Lucas as well? And Stella, unless she gets her own post.

Joella is a packaged DEAL

My first ship who I still very much ship with my whole HEART

LET'S FUCKING GO

It got so fucking long I'm sorry.

After high school Stella and Joe both considered college. She went to a fashion school in New York. He followed her to New York and went to school for music.

They very much were on board with getting married and spending their life together. They are soulmates after all.

Joe proposed during a private little date night in their apartment. Off brand for his usual over the top flashiness but he wanted it to be just them.

Stella considered designing her own dress but ended up getting a custom one of a kind offer from Vera Wang that she was not going to turn down.

They did end up having an over the top huge wedding covered by People magazine.

She took the Lucas name legally but kept Malone professionally.

After getting married Stella started her own fashion company. Starting off designing for Joe and her in-laws as she already did, but then more people started wearing her label and she became well known.

Everything she designed for the Lucases were one of a kind custom for them specifically because old habits die hard and she'll be damned if her arm candy isn't the best dressed man at every event.

After the Jonas hiatus, Joe worked on his solo career. Releasing a few singles. He didn't release his first solo album til after he was married and it was full of love songs dedicated to his best friend and the love of his life.

They both traveled a lot for their respective careers. Sometimes they'd be away from each other but even if they were on opposite sides of the globe they never missed a phone call.

They also traveled the world together for fun and don't go a week without seeing each other even if one of them has to take the worst possible flight to make it to wherever the other is.

Joe never missed NY fashion week because he knew that was her time to shine and always planned around it. Making sure to never have a show or release anything during.

They have homes in NYC, France, LA, and they stayed at Kev's ranch in Texas while his family was in Ireland.

With their busy hectic schedules they waited to have kids. Plus they adored their neices and nephews and loved that they always got to give the rascals back at the end of the day.

Joe was never a cat person until Stella adopted a stray named Jet.

After the Jonas reunion tour, they had their daughter, Ally. With a face like her mother's of course she had her father wrapped around her finger since day one.

After starting their family, they both slowed down for the first time and actually enjoyed domesticity for a bit.

Joe released another solo album and they had a set of twins, Tommy and Jimmy - named after their dad's.

Then after another solo album and baby #4, Maggie, Joe hung up his tambourine and became a full time dad and part time arm candy with occasional appearances when Jonas would release a new single or two.

Stella continued building her fashion empire.

And they were happy.

#joe is stella's trophy husband and that is the hill i will die on #maybe i will write a post hs Joella fic 👀

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worldismyne · 5 months ago

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Seeing how you actually are able to keep your promise of weekly chapters, any tipps to commiting to a schedulde? I often think with all my free time I should be able to do the same with my storys but I just get burnt out or distracted and then self loath cause when I actually have the will again I have work responsibilities or other important stuff going on

Don't commit to an upload schedule until the first draft is finished.

Write to entertain yourself, not to meet a deadline.

Write as much as you can while the idea is new and exciting.

When soft writing and/or brain storming, I like to make a playlist specific to that story. The scenes I have that are tied to specific songs are the easiest to write.

Find the 1 hr on your days off that you have the most energy. (For me it's right after breakfast). Try as often as you can to write then. Even once every other week, is amazing.

It's okay to leave fics unfinished.

Your freetime where you rest is important

Listen to audiobooks in the same genre that you're aiming to write.

Whenever stuck, don't google, put < get there > and keep writing. When editing go back and either add to the scene or just cut it. 9/10 if I think a scene needs something to start it off, it actually doesn't.

(Longer explination of my process under the cut).

DON'T COMMIT TO AN UPLOAD SCHEDULE UNTIL IT'S ALREADY DONE.

I write as much as I can while hyperfixating on a story without posting it. So the draft for the fic I'm uploading atm was finished three months ago. I started uploading when I had 16 chapters written (or 4 months of backlog).

I can't count on how long an idea will hold my interest, or if I have enough material to stretch it out over multiple chapters. (I only just recently got into one shots. If you look at my other fics, I average around 20 k for a 'long' fic, because I get bored). So don't hold yourself to a strict length. Write the important, most engadging parts, walk away, come back and make sure it flows.

The important thing is I'm writing to entertain myself. Writing for a self imposed deadline or to meet audience expectations always burns me out. (No amount of kudos or comments will ever combat that)

I work 3, 12 hr night shifts a week, so a lot of the writing I do is during downtime at work. I personally find it difficult to write at home and spend a great deal of time recovering from working. The body needs that time to recover and it took years of unlearning that rest and self care are unproductive or a waste of time. If your work doesn't allow you that luxury, have a place out of the house you go to for longer periods of writing.

The playlist thing is a lifesaver, never discount the importance of soft writing. I literally can not visualize things, so music helps me have an outline to plot out scenes or chapters (i.e. what tone am I trying to capture). Also works to reignte the spark of inspiration. The time I'm most active is the morning, but that time often gets eaten up by real life, however it's easy to budget a half hour of time to that peak writing time. Those lil bits add up. If you haven't made progress on something in a while, it isn't a bad thing that you've prioritized other things. The writing process should be fun. It's like playing pretend, but you get to keep it afterward.

It's okay to abandon fics.

I still reread unfinished fics people posted, because what they had up was full of passion. A lot of the fics I couldn't finish were either the scope of the story was too big for what I wanted to write or the direction I was taking the fic wasn't working. Crest of the Dragon was on a 6 year hiatus before I was able to come up with an ending I liked. I was surprised people who'd followed it and left tumblr came back just to congradulate me for finishing it. Your readers will understand if you have to step away from something for a while. Updating serially often puts fic writers in a corner, by having the WIP up for everyone to see.

Burnout is usually not from the writing, but the real life shit going on around us. It can take years to figure out the main source and how to deal with it. Mental and emotional rest are important. I'm a bit neuro spicy, so there are straight up weeks where I have to resign myself to not creating anything. Having the back log helps in those instances, since l typically make things in fevered burst and then have to recoop.

Recently figured out listening to disc world novels has helped with my SE fic. It has good examples of absurdest humor, world building and general descriptions. I don't have time to read, but a lot of audio books are free on youtube. If you really, really get stuck, seeing how a pro tackles things can help even subconciously.

<get there> is my new friend. I'm not big on writing non-linearly. For longer stories, I'll parse out the main story beats and then hope the characters develope in that direction. Sometimes they go off the rails on me, or a planned subplot gets scraped. So, for this fic, I had all the mystery reveals spaced out between the two storylines. For character arcs, I go on explorative vibes.

All this to say, writing for me is an escape, and most of the time I'm doing it when I'm in a position where my options are either be on my phone or write. If I got 15 min or more, I choose write. If I got a sentence out, that counts.

It doesn't have to be perfect, or finished, or written in a timely matter. It just has to be, as long as what you're writing entertains you. Worry about uploading once you're done with it.

#myne talks #writing advice #Writing at work is not the best advice but it's what i do >_> that and writing in l cafes #ao3 writer #Hope any of this helps o7

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alwaysthesitter · 1 year ago

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Ugh, annoyingly having to go on somewhat of a temporary hiatus. I knew that picking up this haunt job was going to be a challenge on top of my other job, but it's something I've always wanted to do being a huge Halloween buff. The great thing is that my primary job allows me to make my own schedule so I have a lot of flexibility. What I didn't realize was that the scare actor job would take advantage of that. They just dropped my new schedule (which is already an issue in and of itself since we have work tomorrow) and I work every single night this week. Which is also a balancing act I have to talk to my manager about because even though I have flexibility, I do still have some therapy clients that like to meet with me after work. That doesn't give me a single night to cram in all my night clients since I have to be at the haunt at five. I've been doing sessions on weekends, but some of my clients don't want to waste their free days doing therapy and I can respect that.

But yes, it's going to impact my writing for a bit. I'm going to be immensely burnt out. It's going to be a lot of days where I work until midnight which means get home at 1 AM then have to wake up at 7 AM for my first Client shift at 8. Needless to say, that doesn't leave much time for writing. Plus I'm sure even if I do have a night off I'm going to be so exhausted that I'd prefer to just spend it sleeping. That being said, unfortunately, roleplay needs to be put last on my list. It makes me sad because the trip I just took gave me so much freaking muse that I'm spinning with it, but alas, adulting comes first you guys.

Please don't forget me. <3 And I promise I'm not ignoring anyone or disappearing forever.

#[pretty good babysitter*/ooc]

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multisfabulis · 2 years ago

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Stay

Word Count: 2431

Here's my last fic of the year 2022! After the enormous trouble I had with my previous project last month, this felt like a breeze to write!

However, there is a bit of sad news I must share. This is going to be the last RLD fic I'll be posting, at least for the time being! The reason for why is that I simply don't have many ideas left to write for RLD and the ideas I do have need to be fleshed out more and given coherence. Right now, they're VERY rough and shoddy, to the point they need time dedicated to planning them out that I won't have in the near future. This doesn't mean I won't come back to RLD, though! Once things have slowed down some and I'm able to really conceptualize on what I have, then RLD will be brought back out into the spotlight. Until then, the dregs' will be going into the shadows.

Maybe it's because I knew RLD would go into an indefinite hiatus after this that I decided to write this idea out. I didn't plan it that way but it feels appropriate. This is pretty much a marriage proposal fic in all but name because when you think about it, isn't marriage just a legal way of saying you're choosing to commit to someone and spending the rest of your life with them? Of course, there had to be some angst thrown in here because these two boys have issues and it wouldn't be a RLD fic without it!

One last thing I want to say is that this was beta'd by my dear friend rosemaryblues! They admittedly had problems with this, due to it not really being their style, but they were still gracious enough to look over this and edit it so thank you!

Read on AO3 | Read on DeviantArt | Support me on Ko-fi!

Okay.

Today was the day.

It was a day Ravi had been both dreading and looking forward to. A day in which he’d ask Luce a question. It had weighed on his mind for years now and Ravi had finally worked up the courage to ask it.

Sure, it took several failed attempts due to him chickening out like a pussy every time, but still!

In his hands was a small, plain white box. He didn’t bother wrapping it up or putting it in a gift bag because it would only call more attention to the occasion, attention he definitely didn’t need. However, it was what was inside the box that gave him the most anxiety.

Inside was a handmade gift, something he had made for Luce in only a span of a few days. Something like this was rather uncharacteristic of him, but he worried the most over whether Luce would even like it or not.

If he did, then everything was well and good. If he didn’t, well…it would certainly make what Ravi planned on doing afterwards super awkward.

He heaved a sigh. There was no use in thinking about it. He just needed to get it over with! Steeling his resolve, he called out, “Luce, you wanna come in here?”

He could hear the sound of footsteps approaching from outside the room. His heart hammered in his chest as he waited. To say he was scared shitless of what would happen next was an understatement. This was a hell of a gamble for him to take. All the years he spent bluffing and charming his customers hadn’t prepared him for anything like this.

Luce entered the room, a quizzical look on his face.. Ravi still couldn’t get over the transformation he’s had in the four years they’d known each other. Before, Luce was practically a dead man walking, with his bones threatening to split open his pale skin as his dull red eyes peered out from the shadows of his own making. Now everything about him seemed to scream that he was alive, from how he glowed in the sunlight to the way his smile looked positively gleaming with life. He was, to put it simply, absolutely and irrevocably beautiful.

“Is everything all right? You normally don’t…” His voice trailed off as he noticed the box in Ravi’s hands. “What’s that?”

“It’s…a present?” he replied rather comically, holding it out to Luce as he felt warmth rushing to his cheeks. “Just hurry up and take it already.”

Luce gave it a curious glance before turning his gaze back to Ravi. “What’s the occasion?”

“Just take the damn box, Luce.”

Luce took the box from him with a bemused expression on his face. Ravi watched him pull off the lid and peel away the thin sheet of paper hiding within to look at what was inside. He saw his eyes widen in shock as he took out something that seemed to resemble a band of some sort. Here it was, the moment of truth.

Wrapped around Luce’s hand was a homemade necklace. There was a simple black cord just big enough for him to put his head through since Ravi knew how much trouble he had with clasps. Next were a few small beads on either side of the cord that were deep shades of red, violet, and blue to help splash some color on the otherwise dark palette. Then there was the main ornament, a crow feather that had taken way too long to find.

Shifting his gaze towards Ravi, Luce asked in almost breathless wonder, “What is this for?”

“It’s something I should’ve given you a long time ago,” he replied, fixing his eyes to the ground in embarrassment. The way Luce was looking at him right now was almost too much for him to handle. “You’ve been with me and Amelia for a few years now and I figured I should welcome you into the family. Not that you hadn’t been a part of it, this just makes it official!”

“Wow, I…I don’t even know what to say.” Taking in a deep breath, he slipped the necklace on and held the feather gently between his fingers. “Snowbird…thank you so, so much for this. It means a lot to me.”

“It’s okay? It’s not too loose?” He stepped forward to examine how the necklace fit around his neck. “A bracelet would’ve been too inconvenient for you and I know how sensitive your ears are so that’s why---”

Ravi found himself drawn into a tight embrace as Luce whispered into his ear, “It’s perfect. Thank you, Ravinn.”

Ravi returned the hug with just as much strength, nuzzling his cheek into Luce’s chest. God, he still couldn’t believe a man as good as Luce would love him and want to be with him. He didn’t deserve someone like him.

That’s what made the next part of this so nerve-wracking. It was finally time for him to ask the question.

“There was also something else--” he pulled away from Luce, gripping onto his arms gently as he looked up at him-- “to the present. I wanted to ask you something, something important.”

“Oh, well, okay,” Luce replied, flashing Ravi a small smile, “Um, shoot?”

“Would you…I mean, would you want to…” Fuck, this was harder than he thought it’d be. He closed his eyes and breathed in deep, willing his nerves to calm down. Rip it off like it was a band-aid. “Would you…want to stay with me?”

His words hung between them for a time. He could see the gears turning in Luce’s head as he tried to glean the meaning behind them. Can’t fault him for lack of effort, he supposed. The question seemed so simple at first, but Luce knew Ravi long enough to know he wouldn’t ask something like that unless there was more to it than meets the eye. He was surprisingly intuitive for a guy who spent half his life avoiding people like they were the plague.

“I’m guessing it’s not just for now, right?” Luce asked confusedly.

“Yeah, it’s kinda like a marriage proposal, you know?” Right when those words left his mouth did he realize what he just said. “I-I’m not asking you to marry me, by the way! I sure as shit can’t afford a wedding and I definitely don’t wanna get fucking married because it’d be way too much fucking work and---”

“Snowbird.” Another chuckle spilled out from Luce as he held Ravi closer. “You’re rambling again. Just tell me what you were meaning to say.”

Steadying his breathing, he tightened his grip ever so slightly, “Luce. You have been with me through both the highs and the lows of our entire relationship, seen me at my best and at my worst. It didn’t matter how many times I’d push you away, you would just keep coming back like…the annoying cockroach you are, and I hated how persistent you were. Then we started getting closer and one day…I realized I was in love with you.”

His hands shook as he continued.

“You…see me in a way no one else has and you make me feel happy, and joyful a-and hopeful. I never thought I’d meet someone like you in this hellhole of a place we unfortunately call home and…I honestly can’t imagine my life without you.” Ravi wasn’t used to being so vulnerable but it had to be said. Luce needed to understand just how important this was to him. “So that’s why I’m asking if you will…stay with me. Be with me until our time is up.”

“Do I want to spend my life with you, is what you’re asking.”

“W-well, when you put it that way…”

“Then yes. I’ll spend the rest of my life with you.”

Time seemed to freeze. There was no way he misheard that, right?

Luce said yes.

He said yes to staying with him. To being with him until the end of their days. That was what Ravi wanted. He wanted Luce to be with him.

So then why couldn’t he accept it?

“But…why? Why would you…”

“What do you mean, why?” Luce asked, concern shifting across his face. He lifted a hand up to Ravi’s cheek as he continued, “I want to stay with you. That’s what you want, right?”

“But why?! Why would you want to stay with me?!” His grip on Luce tightened like a vice as his breathing grew more frantic. “I don’t understand, why…”

Why was he sabotaging himself like this? Wasn’t it all well and good that Luce wanted to spend the rest of his life with him? Yet he just couldn’t believe Luce would willingly choose to subject himself to such a torturous idea. After all, Ravi was too vile, too wretched, too much of an asshole for anyone to want to be with. What in the ever-loving hell was Luce thinking?

Breathing out a sigh, Luce pressed on, “Then help me understand. Why do you think I shouldn’t stay with you?”

“Because I don't deserve you!” Ravi pushed himself off of Luce. He couldn’t stop shaking. Everything was going to hell and it was all his fault. “Why would you ever want to be with me, knowing the kind of person I am?”

“Snowbird---”

“I get annoyed by you, I call you by all sorts of horrible names, I treat you like shit and you don’t deserve any of it!” His eyes burned but the words would not stop flowing from his mouth. “I don’t deserve you…I sometimes wonder if you know how much I love you and I should be better but I can’t and---”

Luce closed the distance between them and drew Ravi into his arms, stopping him from saying anything else. Quiet sobs spilled forth from his lips as Ravi clung onto Luce with a strength he didn’t know he had. No amount of comfort would ever silence the voices in his head screaming at him the awful things he’d known about himself for years.

Selfish. Greedy. Entitled. He never wanted to let Luce go, he wanted him to stay with him till the day he died. But he also knew that wouldn’t be fair to Luce, especially when he’d spent so much of his life unaware of the beauty that laid out there in the world beyond this city. Luce deserved someone better than a guy who’d love to chain him down to him.

“Ravinn.” Luce pulled Ravi away but still kept an arm around his shoulders. “I want you to look at me, okay?”

There was no doubt he looked like a downright mess, his eyes red and puffy and his makeup smudged from crying so much. It took him a moment but he slowly raised his head to look at Luce.

All he saw was a tender understanding as Luce wiped away a tear rolling down his cheek.

“Listen, I know how hard it is for you to be open and honest with me, or anyone, really. You spent years putting walls up in order to protect yourself and I get it. I do. But that's why it means so much to me that you trust me enough to let them down, to let me in. It makes me happy to know I’ve earned that trust from you.

“I don’t need to wonder if you love me because I know you do. I see it in all the little things you do for me.” His lips curled up into a fond smile as he reflected back on the past in thought. “You always take the time to listen to me and check in on me whenever I’m having an episode. You think about my boundaries to an almost frustrating degree but I know it’s just your way of letting me have a choice in the matter. You’ve given me things I never had the joy of having as a child…So, so many things, Snowbird. But there’s one very important thing I can’t get from anyone else. Do you know what that is?”

He couldn’t even begin to guess the answer. What could he have given to Luce that he couldn’t receive from literally anyone else?

“It’s safety.” Luce took Ravi’s hands into his own, holding them gently. “You make me feel safe, Ravinn. I’m not afraid to be myself around you, to fall apart around you. I’m not scared of you hurting me because I just know you wouldn’t. You and the snowdove are like home to me.

“I don’t want to go through the rest of my life without you there by my side. That’s why I’m staying with you, no matter how much you think I shouldn’t.” He gave him a soft kiss on the cheek before suppressing a chuckle. “You know, if you didn’t want me to choose, you shouldn’t have told me what I wanted mattered all those years. So this is, in a way, your fault.”

Ravi bit down on his lip to keep from cursing him out. Just because Luce was right didn’t mean he had to go and say it! Still, that wasn’t enough to stop Ravi from wrapping his arms around him once more and burying his face into his chest. Screw it. He decided to throw something out into the air to show Luce had gotten through to him.

“You’re a fucking asshole, you know that?”

Luce felt safe around him? It was…surprising, especially since Ravi didn’t consider himself strong in any regard. Yet he’d be lying if he said it didn’t make him a little happy to hear that. If only he had the courage to admit the feeling was mutual…

Maybe he’d never fully believe he deserved Luce. Changing one’s way of thinking wasn’t exactly an overnight thing, after all. If he truly wanted to stay with Ravi of his own volition, genuinely and wholeheartedly, then who was he to deny him that? All Ravi knew for sure was that the future was looking a little brighter with the stubborn, tenacious crow known as Luce by his side.

Softly, his voice barely above a whisper, he said, “I love you, Luce.”

“I love you too--” Luce placed a hand on the nape of Ravi’s neck, prompting him to look up at him-- “snowbird.”

Their promise was then sealed with a kiss. It didn’t matter to them how much time passed between now to the day they moved on from this world. They only cared that, for tomorrow, the day after, and every day since then…

They would stay.

#airi's writing #oc; Ravi #oc; Luce #Red Light Dregs

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asudai-tls · 1 month ago

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[Archive Video] Resumption of Twi■■light Activities Announcement

Nao: Good evening, nice to meet you. I'm Nao, also known as Unknown from Twi■■light. Thank you for listening to our broadcast.

Kei: I’m Kei, also known as Dusk from Twi■■light. Despite it being sudden, I'm glad you’re watching this.

Seira: I’m Seira, also known as Stella from Twi■■light. It's been a while since I last dived, so to be honest I’m a little nervous… I’m glad you’ll be spending a little time with me.

Kei: Let’s start by explaining our unit. Then, leader, you first.

Nao: Hm? Mm. I’m the leader.

Seira: … That’s all?! There’s definitely something more to say than that.

Nao: Huh? Um. Is there something else?

Siera: There is. What about the kind of unit Twi■■light is? What about us resuming activities?

Nao: Uhh… Do as you wish.

Seira: Leader!

Kei: Well, it seems like our leader is a bit lacking in nutrition. Here, a cereal bar.

Seira: Haa.. I’ll say a bit then. Twi■■light is a unit formed 9 years ago by Nao and Kei. And I joined the group 7 years ago. After that, we took a break from activities for a while, and now we’re back.

Kei: Well because the break was so long, I almost feel like a newbie. I want to take this opportunity to show you a new Twi■■light. We’ll see what happens.

Nao: Isn’t everyone so busy that we can’t do much? Even today, Seira’s modeling work was busy again so now we’re streaming late at night.

Kei: You didn’t have to say that.

Seira: I’m sorry! I apologized earlier, didn’t I?

Kei: Alright, alright, that’s enough for now. Next, let’s each introduce ourselves. It seems like you’re feeling a little better, so Nao you first.

Nao: Umm…I guess I'm in charge of composing music within the unit. My instrument is guitar? I can basically play anything. That’s all.

Kei: Eh… Are you done already…?

Seira: Please introduce yourself in a better way. You’re the cornerstone of Twi■■light’s music. I joined the unit because I was moved by the music you make. Make sure to emphasize that.

Nao: Ehhh~ Seira, you're giving me such great praise.

Siera: I only acknowledged your musical sense, nothing else.

Kei: Seira really loves the music Nao makes. Now then, my turn. I'm the group’s engineer, in charge of Twi■■light’s mixing. To put it simply, I adjust the sound recorded by each person to get the best balance. It's my role to turn it into a single cohesive song. Other than that, I also do all the other small miscellaneous things.

Nao: It must be hard work.

Kei: I just got better at it the more I did it.

Seira: He also does the video editing and he’s a pro at the bass.

Kei: Haha, I just became able to do that too.

Seira: It’s scary how easily he does everything while laughing. Lastly, my turn. I write the lyrics for Twi■■light’s songs. My instrument is the piano. Technically, I'm still no match for Nao, but I hope to catch up quickly. I'm doing it with passion in my own way.

Kei: As Seira said earlier, Twi■■light’s music stems from Nao's delicate worldview. We plan to work hard so that we can convey that world to as many fans as possible.

Nao: Zzzz…zzzz…

Kei: So, it seems like while we were talking enthusiastically, Nao himself has begun to doze off.

Nao: Zzzz…

Seira: Hello, anyone there?! We were having a serious conversation!

Kei: ......That’s the kind of unit we are. I think everyone would have understood well enough.

Seira: No, this isn't a good enough explanation. We need to tall about before the hiatus, about our musicality, etc.

Kei: With our leader like this, that's impossible.

Nao: Mm… Goodnight.

Kei: Hey now, don’t use my shoulder as a pillow. Come on, say your final goodbyes. Try your best to stay awake.

Nao: Nnn… I’m sleepy…

Kei: We are a unit that has been inactive for a long time. We don't know about the current Astrodive. As a diver, I’m like dead tree from a bygone era. Even so, I want to light the fire once again.

Nao: Music is an unchanging thing. Forget all your unnecessary worries. For now, I want you to listen to our music. That's all I have to say.

Seira: Finally, a proper statement… I've always wanted to work as Twi■■light again. I'm really happy to be back in action. This is why I have continued to make music, so I can show you how I take on new challenges. I want everyone to follow–

Nao: With that said, see you all later. This was Twi■■light. Goodnight~

Kei: Haha, see you next time. Goodnight.

Seira: Hey, I was still talking! We went through all the effort to get together, and now this is it...!

Kei: Alright, let’s cut it here.

Seira: Ah see you all! Goodnight! But a little longer, please…!

#astro dive #asudai #asudai translations #togano nao #narumi kei #otowa seira #TWI■■LIGHT

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dashawfrostart · 11 months ago

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This Week In "Time & Again" #9: LINEART IS DONE!!! And My Adventures With Krita Assistants! [Longread warning]

First things first! It took me a while (again) to make yet another one post, but taking a small social hiatus was totally and utterly worth it, let me tell you!!! Because here's the news:

THE LINEART FOR CHAPTER 5 IS COMPLETELY DONE!!! Yaaaaaay!!! 🥳

(happy cheering, happy music playing (my personal favourite is Skinny Puppy - very happy indeed), sounds of jolly hand clapping, and a cake, somebody please bring in the cake!.. wait... the cake is a lie... 😱 hmmm, every time I refer to this joke, I want to alter it and say, "A pie is a lie, but the cake is fake!" Personally, makes me happy, but also makes me sound a bit like Mad Hatter to everyone around😅 which is fine, I love "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland")

Not gonna lie, it feels like I spend a little bit more time on lineart alone comparing to what I've been expecting from myself: different factors have contributed to the delay, and among of them was a short-term loss of a creative spark as well (which is always incredibly unpleasant, yaaarrrr!), but nonetheless! It is done!!! And let me tell you - it is done in style 😎 Ich bin sehr froh 🥳 However, contrary to what I've just written above simply for fun, it's not time to celebrate just yet. I'll probably take a small 24 hour break from my project - to take a breather and recalibrate my brain to successfully switch to colouring mode, ya know - and I'll just keep working on it to keep up the pace! The Colouring Stage is waiting for me, wheeeeeee!!! ... Wait, but so happened I already had my 24 hours off drawing yesterday. 🤔 WELL, NO TIME TO SPARE NOW: BACK TO WORK!!!...

But only after I'm done writing this post, for I have a moral obligation to finish it up 😁

So, earlier I promised to share my experience with Krita Assistant Tool with you. This is going to be very technical, so prepare yourselves, happy folks. Here goes.

I've used Krita's Assistant Tool before. I started to use it quite extensively as the work on Chapter 2 began, for I had to represent strictly geometric shapes of rooms, and corridors, and even the whole floors, for almost the entire set of events was happening indoors. In a peculiar place. The entirety of Chapter 1 with the exception of, say, 2 or 3 panels at most, took place within Lothar's mansion in Sweden. That one also required quite a few geometric shapes, but for some reason I did well without any help of Assistant Tool - I don't remember for sure by now, but I only used it briefly for some panels/frames. And it did not require anything particularly complex then. Mind you, during the development of Chapter 1 I've been still learning my newly obtained graphic tablet - that was the first time I ever used one (and now I don't want to go back to neither mouse and keyboard drawing or a "blind" tablet - eff that! 🤣). In this respect, Chapter 2 was a game changer. I wanted to raise the plank further up and challenge myself to do even better with the perspectives of urban buildings and interiors. And since approximately that time, I believe, Assistant Tool has become a precious little helper for me. Thank you so much, Krita devs!

As you can see in the documentation, Assistant Tool has many features and different modes. I primarily use those tools to draw perfect - or almost perfect - urban perspectives, for those might be a bit tricky to do right off the bat. However, some of those tools might be used in a non-conventional or less expected ways. Let me show you some of my experiments with them.

Starting off with the basics, of course.

Above you can see the screenshot that illustrates how I used to normally set up the perspective assistant grid for the more correct view of a room - I've been doing that very thing beginning from Chapter 2. Basically I create a bunch of perspective grids and join them to create an imitated 3D view of a room. That really helps a lot.

I mentioned a certain video tutorial that really helped me out on my journey of meowstering - sorry, mastering the Assistant Tool in a way that's helpful to me. It was this incredibly helpful little video I watched trying to figure out how to build a one point perspective view for one of the panels I challenged myself to draw. However... I discovered something else instead: Parallel Rulers and an obvious "Snap To Assistants" function. Both of which are super helpful to use. I never paid attention to "snap to assistants" before. Now I wonder why 😅

Parallel Rulers help to draw totally straight lines when working on a perspective view - like the one that I was having a hard time dealing with when trying to portray an extremely skewed backstreet perspective. All of that is done without the use of the Line Tool.

While parallel rulers are something that I'm still learning and practising, the self-explanatory "snap to assistants" is an excellent function that just makes your life significantly easier.

I used a combination of Ellipse and Vanishing Point with "snap to assistants" function on to create spectacularly precise and nice looking sports wristwatch for Lothar. This is just how I love it: extremely geometric and correct, but with slight imperfections that make it lively and natural, with a visible hand-drawn "fluctation" to the outlines:

For example, here's a good comparison for you to see what I'm talking about: to the left it's a gif illustrating how I drew the wristwatch outlines with an Assistant with Ellipse setting that snaps to the assistants, and to the right there's a gif showing how to do the same (but way worse) simply using the separate Ellipse Tool using the same brush as an outline. Behold the difference:

For the record, I used the same neat trick to draw the nice lines around that "Hit!" special effect on another one page, to make it look cleaner and more professional:

Spline is yet another one type of assistant that might come in handy in certain situations, for some artists. In my case this time, I used it so add extra thickness to a certain line that has already been drawn to make it look more appealing and lively:

Thus, instead of trying numerous times to reproduce the same brush stroke (and inevitably failing at it repeatedly) to add just a little thickness to already existing stroke, one can simply draw a Spline "vector path" on top of it, turn "snap to assistants" on and draw a perfect, non-shaky line that doesn't stray somewhere you don't want to. Neat-o! If you're somewhat familiar with vector software (like I am), using Spline and making it exactly the shape you need is easy-peasy: it has two handles so that you could adjust the position and the curve of the assistant line. Works exactly as a basic Bezier Curve. Super simple!

That's gonna be enough for now. Since this post has grown fairly large in size (I never change, eh?), I'm thinking about taking a longer break in posting again. So I might return in about 2 weeks with more news on how the colouring of Chapter 5 is going!

Stay tuned, and have fun! Lothar is on his way back to you, and Jeanny will follow up, too 😉 Take care!

#TimeAndAgainbyDWF #This Week In Time And Again #krita #wips #graphic novel

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diedbrave · 1 year ago

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Please don't forget me. <3 And I promise I'm not ignoring anyone or disappearing forever.

#{it isn't safe to walk the city streets alone ooc}

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erlenmeyertrash · 7 years ago

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so can we ask what happened, or is that rude?

ALRIGHT. buckle up buds. this one is the most Dramatic Event that has probably ever happened to me. I was not equipped, I was not prepared, I’m still reeling from it, and… well. you’ll see why.

if any any point you think “holy shit, is this even real? can this get any more wild?” just know that a) i felt the same way, b) it is all 100% real and accurate to the best of my memory, and c) it can and it does. ugh.

ANYWAYS. without further ado. (i would say storytime, but i’d hate to taint the phrase with this… also this is going to probably be swear-filled. and i’m not sure how many trigger warnings to tag. i will try my best? it’ll involve mentions of breakups and emotional struggles for sure so please proceed with caution, lovelies, i’d hate for anybody to get hurt

okay note after reading- there’s food mentions, mentions of swearing, emotional manipulation, relationship issues, character insults, slight drowning mention, and if there are any more please let me know and i’ll tag them. proceed with caution. enter if you dare. i still cannot believe the vast majority of this happened.)

sO. the backstory of all backstories. (if you want to skip to the most recent hiatus-inducing drama, look for the bolded text (and screenshot) a bit further down)

I went through a god-awful breakup just before school started last semester with a guy named Collin. I’m talking two days after we move in to the same apartment complex, three days before our one-year anniversary, totally out of left field. i had kind of put too much emotional investment into the relationship and was really unprepared for it- not to mention (and this may be biased) he handled it kind of poorly- let me re-invest in person after a summer apart, got me very attached, then didn’t actually break it off the first time he tried because he wimped out at seeing me sad, so semi-led me on for another day before he actually cut it off.

…and then tried to be friends while simultaneously calling up his past ex and making an FWB with the girl he met over the summer that i wasn’t supposed to worry about and i’m gonna stop myself now. basically, i was distraught and, despite having many wonderful friends, felt extremely alone starting off this year of college. collin was Not Ever allowed over into my apartment again, an executive order unanimously agreed upon by me and my 2 roommates.

flash forward a couple of days to my organic chemistry class where i sit by a guy named joey. joey looks like a chill dude, right? and i’m not even remotely thinking about relationships. i think i’m done forever, goodbye cruel world, hello Single Dog Mom status eternal. joey’s awesome. we become friends, bond over C-H bonds, it’s lit. joey’s a senior- two years older than me- and he’s got a girlfriend, who i meet once before a football game and try as hard as i possibly can to convey “i am joey’s weird ochem nerd bud, i pose no threat, and trust me if he tried anything i would run screaming to you so hard to help you beat his ass.” not that joey would- he’s a good guy, we’re strictly platonic pals, and he really likes his girlfriend and they’re kind of totally adorable together. we’re all chill, right? right.

over that semester, joey and i are friends, my roommates- we’ll call them Snow White and Mulan, which are accurate monikers in terms of both appearance and attitude- are super supportive and helpful. i love them both to death. snow white goes through her own emotional turmoils (mulan is a bit more chilled out and stone-faced but still absolutely a dear friend to the end), and we try to be there for each other as best we can. i had a lot of emotional struggles that i had to work through both with them and without- and with a few other people. but. yes. last few months were quite a lot for me to handle and i handled it poorly, but we’re doing better now. i get teased for “liking” joey and it takes everything in me not to rant EVERY SINGLE TIME. i just wanted a friend!!!! i was not about to crush on anybody. i was over deep romantic ties for a solid while, let me tell you.

so. this semester. i’m doing a lot better!!! i join an organization full of wonderful people, my roommates and i are doing great (snow white went through a rough spot with a boy early on but we helped her as best we could), joey and i stay friends, some friendships that hit a rough spot last semester are on excellent mend, ochem 2 is WRECKING me but that’s to be expected so it’s fine. collin is basically an awkward, distant memory at this point. i’m still hurt, yknow?, but we don’t talk much. it’s not even a dull ache, it’s just “wow that relationship was rough and i’m scared of them now it’s fine i’m fine everything’s fine i just love my dog and my friends” (as one does). joey breaks up with his gal Sabrina in late january i believe?- nothing serious but it did shock me to hear since they seemed cute together, and i offered support if he needed it and we keep on movin along.

joey’s over at my place one night in february cramming with a few other buds for an ochem exam; he meets snow white and after leaving texts me that she’s really pretty. i, ever the biggest fan of my gal pals, am like “I KNOW RIGHT?!?!” because lbr, i didn’t nickname her a disney princess for nothing. she’s gorgeous. sO.

joey and i are pals but he finds out he and snow white share a stats class together, so he starts coming over every so often to do homework with her (aka argue about it, judging by the strained voices filtering into my room through the living room). valentine’s day comes along and snow white winds up going out with joey for dinner. lit, right? they come back and i… realize joey is. Not. dressed in the same manner as snow white. so she may have misunderstood the meaning of the dinner. nonetheless, whatevs, it’s all good right?

….and then a few days later, before our spring break, i get some messages from joey. saying whatever he and snow white had is totally off. she… kind of went a little stir-crazy on him (which i’ve seen happen before, so i wasn’t too surprised?). he had, as far as he’s told me, stated he did not want any relationship at all, especially a serious one, and did not intend to make theirs a very exclusive “thing.” she either misheard this or didn’t want to hear it, but then called it off on the exclusivity clause she didn’t seem to like (she wanted more and he said no and she called it off…. is. how that went. fam ion even know). but snow white mentions to mulan and me that joey “implied a relationship” but that she doesn’t want him over anymore. and i’m like… i mean, he’ll probably come over for ochem? but i understand and i’ll see what i can do. they were only “together,” or whatever it was, forrr probably around two weeks? it was a short thing that just seemed to sour very quickly. as both of their friends, i didn’t want to intrude on their relationship, so i let it run its own course rather than give my unnecessary two cents about their compatibility (….they had none, i’ll tell you right now. zippity. zilch. zero. joey is very straightforward and direct and laid-back, and snow white- love her to death- is…. not.).

anyways, just before spring break, joey and i start hanging out more. conversation with this kid flows like a waterfall- we both love to talk and he’s hilarious and interesting and a really great listener. we grab food a few times- i had to stay in town for a bit for spring break, as did he, and we spent an evening or two over sushi and cheap mexican food having a blast. this kid rocks, seriously, and i’m so glad he’s my friend.

…anyways, after spring break he’s got to stop by my place to pick up a parking pass i borrowed, and he mentions wanting to talk to me. i’m like “of course!” and he heads over and i hand him the pass and we laugh about the atrocious state of his car…. and he then scuffs his shoe on the ground

and

goes

“…so, this could end. very badly. but…. i really like you.”

and my brain breaks for a second because what. there’s no way. i’ve been telling myself for a semester that i’m not interested in anybody, especially joey, and he’s definitely not interested in little old me!!! i had even told him once, when he admitted around february to mildly crushing on me the semester previous, that i hadn’t crushed on him. i realized in that conversation i hadn’t let myself think about liking him, and maybe that had been wrong of me to push my feelings down. joey’s a nice kid, and this may go to the moon and back or nowhere at all. i do point out that he made things very not fun by trying with snow white first, and he guiltily admits he was simply a bit lonely after his breakup, and as awful as it sounds, a bit bored. but as soon as he realized she wasn’t right for him, he called it totally off, before his friends knocked some sense into him and he realized he needed to talk to me.

sO. joey and i are a thing. i remind him that i got out of a piss-poor relationship and ask if we can take things slow. he says that that is perfectly fine with him, and. well. off we hilariously go, friends.

…that lasts about three days before we realize we are crazy compatible and great together and decide to not be idiots any longer and call it dating. seriously, y’all? what a step up. i won’t bore you with the details, but i’m extremely, extremely happy.

…but then there’s snow white.

she’s my friend, and yet i don’t want to “hide” a relationship from her. mulan has said, during those aforementioned three days, that she thinks joey is a good person and good for me, and that i’m not breaking some girl code- snow white didn’t share much about their relationship with us, but it didn’t seem too serious and didn’t last very long. although the timing is crummy, i believe the best thing to do is come totally clean. i’d rather be candid and try and alleviate what i can.

so i approach snow white one day as soon as i figure out the best way to say it, and say, “hey. so my foot is probably already in my mouth with this, and i really don’t mean to hurt you. but joey and i are… in a thing. a relationship. and i wanted to come clean about it and not sneak it around. i wanted to keep your feelings into account but also ask you to understand- i do like him, so he may be over, but i will do my absolute best to not be loud or in-your-face about it, because i don’t want you to hurt over it.” which is almost verbatim, i believe, so props to my brain.

and snow white goes “i mean, i could tell. you weren’t very subtle about it.”

“…yeah, subtlety isn’t my strong point. i’m sorry. but my main point is that i don’t want to exacerbate any bad feelings you have about us being a thing.”

“abby, i’ve known you liked him for a semester. and i mean, y’know, he said he’d be willing to date either of us, so.”

…and then proceeds to divulge into a sentence or two of information about joey that we have yet to discuss with each other. and i kind of blanch at it but apologize myself in circles for making it weird, i love her to death and don’t want to hurt her, and then exit stage left.

…i get back into my room and realize it was not her place to divulge that information about him, especially because she seemed to do it explicitly to throw a wrench into my line of thinking about him. instead of doing this, it makes me wary of her. who uses some private information like that? so i relay this to joey, who i see later that day, and we talk about it and then move on.

later that evening, i tell mulan and another friend the same story- with permission from joey to share his personal information, too, of course. and we’re discussing her decision to share this when we… kind of realize she was hiding in the apartment.

now. while i did disagree with her actions, i didn’t bash her. i explicitly remember this. i’ve worked extremely hard over the past year to not say any emotionally-charged judgmental statement about people. i understand them and i used to say them all the time, but they’ve gotten misconstrued around me so often i try to avoid them. so i didn’t say any character-bashing statements about snow white; simply that i was upset that she shared information that wasn’t hers to share in a way that only seemed to serve to sabotage my relationship and happiness. (that’s… actually almost verbatim of what i said).

but alas, snow white is there. she hears the conversation. she leaves and… sends me a message.

******so this is where shit starts to hit the fan, for those skipping the longer backstory and wanting that juicy gossip. to recap: got into a relationship, the boy had a casual thing with my roommate a few weeks beforehand, she heard things that upset her. and sent. me. this.

…and i. am. reeling. like. i still don’t know what to say about any of this, except for the part where i tried to not start anything worse while also hold my ground and not be a pushover. (i should note: joey does not live in a place where we can easily hang out together. if we could, we would to alleviate this, believe me. neither of us is particularly confrontational).

…so that. happens. and snow white stops sharing her location with me, as i with her, and we move on.

…until thursday (hiatus day). when joey and i come home with dinner and realize snow white is home. and we are like “wow let’s not be assholes and sit in my room rather than out in the open, and quietly eat to try and make this less awkward for her.” which is what we do.

…until snow white comes up outside my door and goes, “he can leave now.”

and i, calmly eating my muddy buddies, go “…or he can stay.” and snow white starts to yell. some favorite quotes include: “i want him out,” “he can leave now,” “he dated me first” (which is, let me remind you, false, as they did not date), “ we both know he’d rather date me again,” “he tried much harder with me than he did with you,” “i didn’t realize you were this desperate and shallow,” “i didn’t know you were okay with dating a manwhore,” “have fun getting him to manipulate you into doing what he wants,” “he just wanted someone desperate enough to do whatever he wanted” (…let me assure you guys right now that this is false. and i’ll answer any questions y’all have about it!! but this is. just. blatantly not true.), and- a personal fave- “i mean, i always knew you were desperate when you dated collin, but i didn’t think i’d ever have to say it out loud”

…these. are. verbatim, folks. she’s yelling these at me through the door. joey looks like he wants to die. i am hoping that if i placate it enough, and ride it out, that she will stop. so i accept every comment, take it in stride, try to make her realize her point and ceasefire (especially since he’s in my room, which is mine, not her domain)- which she does after a bit.

…then mulan gets home, and i realize i don’t want it to seem like i’ve been bullied into hiding in my room. i take our dinner trash and throw it away, avoiding snow white’s gaze from the kitchen, until she stops me by saying “yeah, i want him gone.”

… “i am sorry, but he’s going to stay, because i want him here.” “i don’t think so. it’s pouring rain out- perfect weather for him to drown on the way home!” “…he is staying here.” “no, he’s not. “yes, he is, [snow white].” “no. he’s not. you don’t get to make that decision.” “i don’t- but neither do you. he does. and he is welcome as long as he wants to stay here, especially in my room.” …and then i get a repeat of everything she said earlier, except this time, it’s to my face. i get to be yelled at that i am shallow; that i am desperate; that he’s only with me because he wants someone easy; that i am disgustingly ugly; that i’m stupid, and she can’t believe she has to say it to my face; do i even realize how horrible of a person i am?; that she has felt this way since this summer; that i have been an awful roommate all year. this goes on for about 10 minutes before i, in a moment of extreme hurt, turn to joey (who rightfully was staying out of it) and, in a moment of anger and desperation, yell “are you going to help me out with this shit?!” and as snow white goes “oh, yeah, perfect, go get him to fight your battles for you,” he comes to join me. and says “you cannot say that to someone. that isn’t fair. you are being cruel. abby is none of these things and you have no right to tell her any of this, especially since the way you’re feeling is my fault.” cue snow white turning to yell at him as well- not only is he an awful person, but “i’m trying to make abby feel as low as possible, since it’s what she deserves,” and “your girlfriend’s stupid.” it’s a mix of character insults for the both of us, and joey and i are trying to let them roll off as best we can.

…this lasts for about 30 minutes, before i go to apologize profusely to mulan (who says it is all fine and she’s sorry it’s happening as well). i then go back and go “joey, you don’t deserve this, and i’m sorry. let’s go.” and shut my bedroom door behind us, cutting off the most awful conversation i have ever endured in my life.

…but it keeps going, friends.

snow white messages sabrina- joey’s ex, remember, who snow white has never met before- on instagram, saying how awful of a person he is and how he used her to get to me (which is. again. untrue. i have known joey since september). sabrina then texts joey, insulting his character even further. he deflects very calmly with an extremely docile message (i believe it was something along the lines of “i’m happy now and i hope you are doing well”)- it does nothing to placate her, but that’s the most we hear.

….then joey and i go to his friends’ wedding this weekend? and have a blast. seriously, you guys, it was one for the books. a beautiful wedding, joey slow-cooked all of their amazing pork, we take a 5-mile hike around his parents’ beautiful property and nearby land, talk for hours on end and watch the stars… seriously. it was some of the most fun i’ve had in a while, thanks to not only the situation but the person i got to share it with.

we got back a few hours ago, and i went on facebook to check some event details… and i see i have a message from sabrina… it’s this.

….so. that. was. quite the event. i’m dead serious when i say i read that message less than 6 hours ago.

...and then, around 30 minutes later? i realize snow white moved out of the apartment.

i am still reeling.

….and that, pals, is The Incident. and i hate it. i hate drama. i avoid it like the plague. and it has been dumped on me in the past few days and i’m. i. just. ???? it’s fine i’m fine everythings fINE

but i’ll take any questions! obviously left bits here and there out bUT. yes. questions. or you guys can think “holy mother of goodness this is CRAZY” and i’d simply sigh and agree.

#abby answers #The Incident #this is. actually one of the most hurtful things i've ever been through #it was. n o t.#fun #in any capacity #//i took that hiatus because i was spending a bit of time off already and that really was the load that sank the ship #so. yes. we're still going through it

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kagejima · 2 years ago

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Hihi rae!!!!! I love you sm and hope you are doing good!! I wanted to send in a nanami Monday and I'm really tired so I'm just thinking about cuddling him after a long day and him just running his hands through your hair and gradually pulling you closer and closer and giving little forehead kisses and justnffbhdj soft nanami my absolute beloved 💕💕

As always pls get some water and foods and rest when you can 😄 I appreciate you and I hope you are having a good day!!!

rae's notes: i am catching up on old themed day submissions! themed days are on hiatus indefinitely until i can get my shit together WIP-wise (and life-wise fhadjfhalksd)!

CHRIS, BABY, I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!! Also I have your other asks and I am going to answer those, I'm so sorry, please forgive me, baby fhsdjfkhadfas motivation is a fickle mistress :((( ilysm and i hope you're doing well!!!!!

Okay, so sosososososososo so usually when I write, I'll put music to it, and it helps me write a lot better-- but at my best friend's wedding like eleven years ago, the song her cousins sang as she walked down the aisle was "Bread & Wine" by Josh Garrels, here, I'll bring it up -- okay, here we go!

BUT??? I'm super soft now because the first part of the song especially makes me think of Nanami now but instead of him cuddling you, you're cuddling him!!

I was wrong / Everybody needs someone / to hold on / Take my hand / I've been a lonesome man / Took a while to understand

AND AND AND AND THE ENDING

If I fall, I'll fall alone / But you can help to bear the load / A three-fold cord is hard to break / And all I have I give to you / If you will share your sorrow too / Then joy will be the crown upon our heads

OKAY!! OKAY!! I'M PROBABLY GONNA GET REALLY SAPPY! (gender neutral reader)

Kento Nanami doesn't like needy.

Kento gets enough of that from Satoru's dumb bullshit. He gets enough of that from protecting Yuuji and making sure he doesn't die on a mission.

He gets enough of that in his every day life of being the only one with the brain cell and having to get everybody out of trouble.

So when Kento realizes he needs you, he's baffled.

Almost... ashamed that he's the very thing he doesn't like.

Because clingy and needy people were always burdensome to him, and he wonders if you see him as a burden now as he has his head on your chest, one of your hands on his head and the other running up and down his back.

And he gets so worked up about this confusing feeling that he can't stop himself from speaking.

"Do you think that I'm needy?" He asks, tears threatening to spill from his eyes, and he fucking hates it.

The very last thing he wanted is to be cumbersome to you.

He was supposed to be taking care of you.

You already had so much to juggle. He tried to help where he could; but his work as a sorcerer took him away from you more than he liked it to.

And so times like this were sacred. Precious. Every moment he got to spend with you was important to him, moreso than anything else.

But he feared it was now turning into him looking desperate, looking too attached.

He never needed anyone...

He felt vulnerable.

Your hand stops moving through his hair and you laugh a little bit.

"What? What brought this on?"

Kento lifts himself up off of you and takes your hands in his, his thumbs caressing the back of your hands.

"Do... Do you think I'm needy?" He asks again.

You smile at him before you cradle his face in your hands.

"I think that you've always had others look to you for things and you've never been able to lean on someone else." You say after a moment.

You see the tears forming in the corners of Kento's eyes and you gently thumb them away.

"I don't think that you're needy..." You answer his question, "I think that you've been strong for a really long time... and I think now that you're letting your guard down, it's really scary for you."

Kento leans his head deeper into your hand, closing his eyes.

"I want to let you in." He whispers.

"So let me in," You whisper back, "Let me take care of you."

#kento nanami #nanami kento #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami fluff #nanami angst #nanami #🎛: rae is mixing #🎤: frogsnbunnies0914 is recording vocals #🎧: rae's artists

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kindahoping4forever · 3 years ago

Text

Threw Out Our Cloaks & Daggers Because It's Morning Now // Ashton Irwin

The bulk of this fic was a WIP I'd been sitting on for months because while I loved the idea, it just never felt Right. I've also been working on a particular arc for Gardener!Ash for most of this year but had been struggling to figure out how to get there. During the impromptu hiatus from writing I took this month, I realized this idea could add the type of color and depth to the Gardener!Ash series that I'd been needing to set up my arc and everything fell into place from there! As always, @cal-puddies is my hero and MVP.

Warnings: Moderate angst comes to the land of Domestic Thirst. No spoilers but obviously there's some sort of resolution because there's also dirty talk, unprotected sex in an established relationship, a handful of uses of the word 'Daddy', brief oral sex performed on a male and cum play.

Word Count: 5755

Gardener!Ash Masterlist

Masterlist // Ko-Fi and 2021 Taglist linked above

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!

You were only gone for one night but you can't believe how good it feels to sleep in your own bed again, to feel the warmth of your boyfriend next to you. Morning comes and you roll over to see him still sleeping soundly at your side and a rush of emotions overwhelm you. Things have been so crazy recently, you can’t remember the last time you had the privilege of waking him up. You’ll never take it for granted again.

You gingerly trace over the condor on the back of his neck, rubbing your thumb over the nail imprints you left around the wings, when you feel him start to stir. “Morning, baby,” he croaks, voice heavy with sleep, worn from staying up and talking things through with you.

“Hiya,” you answer sweetly, brushing his hair off his face. “Sleep alright?”

“Better than I did without you beside me," he admits, leaning into your touch. "Let's not do that again, k?"

2 Days Earlier...

“Missed you this morning.”

Your smile wavers a bit as a sense of deja vu hits you and you realize just how often you’ve been greeting your boyfriend with that phrase but you make an effort to recover as he approaches the patio, tossing his gardening gloves on the table as he opens his arms to you.

Ashton presses a kiss to your lips before replying, “Keep tellin’ ya, gotta get up with me one of these days and try some yoga up on the roof. Nothin’ like it, starting the morning off feeling grateful and appreciating all the natural beauty the morning sun has to offer.”

“Well, I’m sure the sun is lovely but I miss appreciating the natural beauty of the full moon I used to see when you’d stay in bed with me until my alarm went off,” you smirk, grabbing a handful of his ass.

He giggles but you detect a hint of sadness in his eyes just before he pulls you into an embrace. “Might be able to arrange one of those for you sometime too,” he jokes.

You burrow silently into his chest and he pecks at your forehead before removing his straw gardening hat and plopping it on your head as he ducks inside the house with a cackle.

You lovingly shake your head at his antics as you walk to the edge of the patio, looking out to see what he’s been working on. Typically the thought of Ash toiling away in his garden would make your heart skip a beat but he’s been spending a lot of time out here in recent weeks. By the time you wake up in the mornings, he’s already out starting a new project and he’s almost always still out there when you’ve finished with your work for the day. With the band coming out of their hiatus and taking up more of his time, you know it’s important for him to have something that’s just his that he can unwind with but you miss him all the same, miss the days when you alone could be that distraction for him.

Ashton reemerges from the house, glass of ice water in hand, and sits in the lounge chair by the door.

You walk over, interested. “You done for the day, handsome? I was thinking about going for a walk if you’d like to join me.”

“Aww, that sounds nice, baby, but I’ve actually got to jump on a management call with the guys in a few,” he explains, downing his water in one long gulp. “Why don’t we have a nice dinner together, though? Let’s order something good and catch up.”

You murmur your agreement and kiss his cheek before returning his hat to his head. Your walk is a bit longer than you intended but it felt nice to relax your mind and stretch your legs after a long day of being inside working. The sky is nearing dusk by the time you get home and you’re surprised to return to a dark house. You check Ash’s usual haunts - the garden, the basement studio, the kitchen - before you eventually find him in the bedroom, face down asleep on the bed with all the lights off.

You smile wistfully at the sight. He’s been running himself ragged between the band, helping friends with their projects and working on his own. This isn’t the first time you’ve found him like this, his mind reasoning he’ll just “rest his eyes” for a few minutes only for his body to insist that he nap for much longer. You sigh, kick off your shoes and curl up beside him. It’s not exactly the reconnecting evening you were hoping for but at this point, any time spent next to Ashton is a gift you’re more than happy to receive.

The next thing you know, your face is being peppered with kisses and a gentle but firm touch is shaking your arm.

“Baby?” He says softly, smiling sheepishly at you as your eyes flutter open. “You could’ve woken me up, love, I didn’t mean to knock out like that.”

You hum, leaning into him, eyes adjusting to the bedside light he turned on. “If you need it, you need it, dude… it’s not like I see you sleep much these days anyways,” you point out, stroking his stubbly cheek. He'd recently decided to shave his beard and let it regrow and you always forget how much younger he looks without it. “Been meaning to talk to you about that, honestly.”

“Yeah… my head’s kind of all over the place right now so sleep has been… fitful, I guess,” he admits, eyes failing to meet yours. He doesn’t offer more of an explanation and you can tell right now isn’t the time to press the issue. “Sorry I fucked up our dinner.”

You shrug. “No big. Too late to just order a pizza?”

He smiles warmly at you, relieved at your understanding. “Think that one we like on Ventura should still be open.”

“Let’s do that please,” you say with a yawn, which he attempts to muffle with a sweet peck to your lips before reaching for his phone on the nightstand. You watch him place your order and wrap your arms around as much of him as you can reach when he’s done. You quietly offer, “You know if you ever wanna talk about anything that’s going on, I’m here. Doesn’t matter what time of night.”

You feel Ashton relax into your embrace, giving a long and cleansing exhale. “I know, baby… love you,” he breathes. You’re surprised but happy to have him stay resting in your arms until the doorbell rings to announce your dinner.

On a whim, you go back into the bedroom with the pizza and eating in bed proves to be the right choice; the two of you make easy and light conversation as you eat, sitting cross-legged next to each other, smiling like goofy teenagers everytime your bare knees touch.

You’re pretty sure he sleeps through the night for once and you notice him lying closer to you than usual. He typically keeps to his side of the bed but tonight he alternates wrapping himself around you with sleeping on his side right next to you, a hand on your stomach or thigh if he can reach. You find it curious but sweet and enjoy it for what it is.

You can’t help but feel a little disappointed when you wake up alone again; the morning air feels extra cold after being surrounded by Ashton’s warmth all night. You peek out the window and sure enough, he’s already in the garden. You shrug because what else can you do and you head off to start getting ready for your day.

You don’t see him again until after your work day is over and you pad into the kitchen to rinse out the mug you’ve been using all day. You weren’t even sure he was home at first, the house is so quiet and he almost always has music playing in the background. Your heart leaps when you see him showered and out of his gardening clothes, sitting with his computer at the kitchen island but your excitement quickly fades when you notice how stressed he looks as his fingers fly across the keyboard, an email reply on one side of the screen, some sort of calendar on the other.

You chew your lip, torn between wanting to ask him what’s wrong and wanting to wait for him to come to you about it. The problem is you feel like you’ve been waiting for that moment for weeks now and it’s becoming clear Ash either doesn’t want your help or doesn’t know how to ask for it. You’ve both always been careful not to overstep in each other’s personal business; you love the idea that you’re partners but ultimately two separate people living independent lives that you choose to share with each other. With Ashton not having toured for so long now, your lives have blurred together in ways they never really had before and you’re starting to realize it’s not so easy to just go back to the way things used to be.

You’re so caught up in your thoughts you don’t notice that he’s stood at the sink next to you until he reaches over and sets his own mug under the tap.

“The invite said ‘cocktail casual’ but I think maybe you’ve taken the idea a little too literally,” he cracks, eyeing the band hoodie and sweatpants you’re sporting. You purse your lips at him as you try to understand the joke, unsure if you’re confused because you weren’t paying attention just now or if you’re missing something else. Another beat passes without your response, so he addresses you again, still playful but with a slight edge to his voice this time. “Seriously, love, if you’re gonna shower, we need you in there ASAP, Cal’s gonna be here in like 40 minutes and we both know it’s gonna take you at least that to get dressed.”

You furrow your brow, now entirely confident your boyfriend has wildly different plans for your evening than you expected. You turn to him with narrow eyes and say, “Babe, I mean this with all the love in my heart but I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about.”

Ash gives you a 'yeah right' smirk and when you continue to stare at him blankly, a mixture of alarm and annoyance washes over his face. "The dinner party we're going to?" Your expression remains unchanged. He presses on, "The people from the new label?"

You shrug apologetically, "I know nothing about this."

"We one hundred percent talked about it."

"When?"

"Recently," he insists, jaw tensing more with every syllable.

You shake your head emphatically. "It's OK if you forgot to tell me, Ash."

He scoffs, running his hand over his face like he always does when he's getting agitated. "Well it's OK if you forgot that I told you."

You roll your eyes. "Like I don't have a distinct memory of every conversation we've had the past few weeks, they happen so infrequently," you mutter.

Your eyes dart up to meet his as soon as the words leave your mouth, much more bitter than you imagined they'd sound. His expression changes rapidly, shuffling through surprise, hurt, anger, confusion and finally landing on incredulous exasperation. "And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

You wince at his tone, the sharp one you’re used to him using with invasive journalists or the occasional tense moment with a bandmate, one he’s only directed at you a handful of times over the course of your relationship. The two of you love talking with each other so when an issue arises, it’s only natural that you discuss it rather than squabble. Arguments are rare but when they do happen… boy, do they.

The frustration that’s been brewing between you finally spills over into petty bickering which inevitably leads to some regrettably mean barbs and before you know it, you’re storming out the door, smart enough to get away before you say something you can’t take back. You’re proud that you make it down the street before the first tear spills down your cheek, that you manage to make it to your best friend’s house without pulling over to call and apologize.

Ashton is as stubborn as you are so you’re not surprised when you don’t hear from him that evening. As you lay on your friend’s couch, trying to remember how to sleep without Ash’s body acting as a space heater next to you, you replay the day’s events in your mind. Something like this was bound to happen sometime, the way you’d both been carrying on like your circumstances hadn’t changed was naive and unsustainable. But now that you’re hours removed from it, you’re not even sure how the fight started or what it was really about anymore. You’re just sure that you miss him and not just being beside you tonight, you miss the way he was, the way you were a few months ago before real life started creeping in again.

You’re not angry, just frustrated and more than a little sad. As your body finally gives into the exhaustion and you drift off to sleep, your pride chimes in and you decide to wait him out, let him apologize first, let him make an effort to give you the attention you’ve been craving. But when you wake up a few hours later with no cheerful whistling coming from the shower, no coffee smells coming from the kitchen, no scratchy stubble on your face and neck, coaxing you out of bed, it only takes a few moments for your resolve to crack. You look around the unfamiliar, empty room and become suddenly, painfully aware that this isn’t where you belong, even temporarily.

You get dressed and hide your phone in a drawer because you know if you don’t, you’ll be obsessively checking it every two minutes to see if he’s messaged you. You set up your laptop and try to power through your work for the day. You allow yourself a peek at lunchtime and you feel your entire body immediately warm when you see his name in your notifications. You click on the text and smile at the sight of a single bouquet emoji, his go-to when he’s testing the waters for an apology, an olive branch of sorts. You text him back a simple heart and hide your phone away again, eager to finish up your work so you can get home and apologize properly.

This Morning...

“Well, I can’t promise no more fighting but I can predict that’s the last time I storm out like that… that was the first night I’ve slept alone since I moved in… can’t say that I missed it,” you smile wistfully, fingers scratching at his scruffy cheek.

“Yeah… when I came home to the empty house and it started to sink in that you probably weren’t coming home… I can’t remember the last time I felt so unsettled,” Ashton recalls somberly, grabbing your hand to kiss before interlacing his fingers with yours.

The pangs of guilt and regret you feel match the hints you detect swimming in his eyes as he softly gazes at you. You lean in to him and as your lips slowly move against each other, you feel the mood of the room lighten. You smile and coo, "Tell you what, though, if you want to pretend-fight every now and again for the sake of making up, I'm down for that."

He grins, running a hand up and down your side. "For a couple who doesn’t fight often, we are remarkably good at that part, aren’t we?"

"Mmm… I’ll say. You really forgave the shit outta me, babe.”

Ash has always been better with words than you are but you’ve learned that the ways you express yourselves after the apologies are just as important as the sorries themselves. And as you admire the red scratches up and down his back, the way his light brown curls, still wild and tangled from your fingers, pour onto his pillow to reveal the subtle bite marks decorating his neck… you conclude you definitely got your point across.

He laughs, sliding his hand under the hem of your t-shirt, letting his fingers trace over your bare skin before bringing you closer. “Took my apology so well… so generous,” he teases suggestively, the kiss he pulls you into noticeably more passionate than the last. “Y’know, now that I’ve had time to sleep on it, think there’s a couple more things I’m feeling sorry about.”

“Glad to hear you say that because I've suddenly got the strongest urge to hold you accountable,” you smirk, reaching down to squeeze the bulge that’s been noticeably growing in his boxers.

Ash chuckles naughtily against your lips as the two of you share another heated kiss. You let out a slight squeal as he easily swings your leg over his body and pulls you to lay on top of him. His kisses are hungry but his hands are slow and unhurried as they move over your body, from running through your hair to dipping under your shirt, dancing over your back before settling on your ass, squeezing and massaging your cheeks over your panties.

“Missed you,” he says quietly against your lips and you smile into the kiss, knowing he’s referring to more than just the night you spent away.

You lean over and tongue around his earring before attaching your lips to the spot just underneath his ear that always makes him moan, sucking what’s bound to be a large mark on his skin. “All mine,” you softly declare, rolling your hips over his, relishing the feeling of his hardness underneath you.

He groans at your words, sliding his fingers under the leg of your underwear to run along your folds. “All yours?” He teases, swirling your wetness around, ghosting over your clit. “Think you’re mine, baby. Who’s all this for? Huh? Got you soaking wet first thing in the morning?” He teases a finger against your entrance but never quite pushes in.

“Y- you, Ash,” you murmur, trying your best to move your hips at the right angle that’ll catch you some friction from his fingers but to no avail.

“Goddamn right, baby,” he growls, rewarding you by rubbing a few slow circles around your clit. “Pussy’s all mine. Missed it while you were gone.” He sinks a finger inside you, then a second one. He maintains eye contact as he rocks you slowly against them until he decides you’re done. As soon as he withdraws them, you grab his wrist and lift his fingers to your mouth, sucking them clean.

Without missing a beat, Ashton brings you back up to his lips, moaning as he tastes your essence on your own tongue. You pull back, resting your forehead on his, panting, “And what about this?” You pull his cock out of his boxers, stroking slowly as you lilt, “Missed this thick cock while I was gone… missed me so much, last night wasn’t enough... already so hard, leaking so much.” You thumb over his slit, dabbing at the precum beading there and you both watch as a long, sticky string of it follows nearly all the way to your mouth when you lift your finger to taste.

“Fuck, baby… need you now,” he groans with a newfound urgency. He pulls your panties to the side and groans again, deeper, when you immediately start grinding down, rubbing your wetness over his shaft. “Baby, please. Wanna see you ride this cock… ‘s what it was made for. Just for you and your perfect little pussy to take.”

You lean in to give him a filthy kiss that’s all tongue while you sink down on him, the both of you whining at the feeling of your wet heat engulfing him.

“Oh my god, Ash,” you breathe, moving your hips methodically, letting every inch of his cock drag torturously slow against your walls. “Always so good inside me… I’ll never get enough.” You lean back, bracing yourself on his strong thighs, moaning as you feel them flex underneath you as he struggles not to buck up into you.

Ashton lets out another deep groan and you bite your lip, knowing it means he’s caught up watching his cock disappear inside you over and over again; you know it’s his favorite part of having you ride him. “Never get tired of watching you take this cock, baby,” he huffs, confirming your suspicion. He runs his palms over your thighs, fighting the urge to grab onto your hips because he wants you to feel confident in your control. “Such a good girl, taking every last bit of it… look so pretty doing it. Bet it feels as good as it looks, doesn’t it, baby?”

A whimpered reply is the best you can offer as his hand travels to thumb at your clit. You start moving your hips more rapidly, trying to take advantage of the sensations he’s giving you but it’s not enough. You shift forward, flattening your palms against his broad chest, using it for leverage as you rock yourself at a moderate pace, gasping sharply as you immediately feel how the new angle changes how he’s hitting inside you.

“Ash… fuck, babe,” you whine, voice shaking as you speed up even more. “Never felt like this until you… filled so fucking good… never gonna want anything else. Just need you.”

He murmurs your name softly as he slips his hands up your t-shirt to cup your breasts, kneading them, his large hands using just the right amount of pressure to make you moan. He quickly decides he needs to hear more and tugs at the fabric; you understand he wants you to remove it and as soon as you peel the shirt off, his mouth is all over you.

He leaves wet kisses all over one tit while his hand massages the other and then he switches, never leaving you feeling anything less than spoiled. The scruff on his face is already causing a delicious burn on your skin so when he gently grazes your nipple with his teeth, the painful pleasure is almost too much for you to handle and you cry out before redirecting his attention by nudging his face so you can catch his lips in a needy kiss.

You pull away, rubbing over the light hair on his chest. His fingers are content to play with your nipples while you resume bouncing on his cock, settling into a rhythm that has you both breathing heavy.

You feel your climax building and breathe his name over and over like a prayer, almost as if you can’t believe you made it home and he’s here with you, giving you this pleasure. Ash picks up on your energy and shifts his hands to your waist, letting his touch reassure you. “I’m here, baby, come on,” he soothes, giving your hips a tight squeeze. “I’ve got you, love... wanna feel you cum.”

You feel like a woman possessed, pawing at your own breasts, riding his cock as fast as you can, wishing you could go faster but it feels so good you’re almost too overwhelmed to keep moving. “Fuck… Ash… fuuuuck… fuck me, fuck me, fuck me,” you plead breathlessly. You whimper again and again, feeling your release so close and yet nowhere near close enough. “Need to cum… need you… please… oh Daddy, please.”

You and Ash hadn’t been together very long when you first let a ‘Daddy’ slip in bed. You had no idea where it came from, you’d never called anyone that and it wasn’t a kink either of you had discussed any interest in. But you were already so comfortable with him that you never felt embarrassed about it, you both just giggled and went with it and he gently teased you about it in the following days. You decided to own it, dropping it occasionally as a half-sexy, half-ironic inside joke between you until one day the two of you realized just how serious it’d actually become, how much it seemed to affect you both on a primal level. Your use of the word evolved, like things always do when you’re with someone for a long time; it went from a bonding joke to a naughty cue to something reserved for special occasions and these days, it seems to only slip out subconsciously during your neediest, most desperate moments.

You’re so far gone the words you’ve just said don’t even register in your mind until you hear the guttural noise coming from Ashton’s throat and you feel his hold on your hips tighten to an almost painful degree. Your eyes flicker open to meet his and the excitement and love you see, the eagerness to return to that era of shared intimacy with you, is almost enough to push you over the edge.

“What was that, baby?” He teases, holding your hips still so he can buck his into you at a deviously slow pace. “Didn’t hear you… think you might need to say it a little louder.”

You try matching his rhythm as he rocks into you but his grip is so tight it’s no use, but you do keep trying because you like the struggle and he likes denying you. You lock eyes and stare him down for as long as you can, almost as if you’re challenging him, until he hits that one spot inside you that forces you to close your eyes and shudder. “I said…” You start, trying to find your breath as he moves his hips to match the staccato rhythm of your words. “Fuck me. Please. Need you. To make me cum. To fuck me. Daddy.” Your voice gets louder with every word and by the end of your request, you’re practically shrieking.

“That’s my girl,” Ash says in a voice both syrupy and dominating. “My baby wants to cum, my baby’s gonna cum. Give this pretty pussy what it deserves.” He gives your body an affectionate squeeze before he plants his feet flat on the bed for leverage and begins fucking up into you with impressive force.

You want to cry out, to call his name, to tell him how glad you are to be his, how you always want to be, how every time with him is better than the last and as exciting as the first. But you’re so fucking close and his cock is hitting so deep inside you, you barely have the brainpower to keep holding onto him the way that you are.

The only sounds filling the room are Ashton’s belabored grunts, your strained whines and the sound of his skin slapping against yours. A low, rumbly moan stirs in your throat and you both know this is it. He’s careful to keep his thrusts steady as you start to fold in on yourself, tensing from the sensations surging through your body. He feels you clench around him hard, your breath coming out in short, huffy sobs that seem to keep perfect time with the feeling of your pussy pulsing on his cock.

You’re seeing stars by the time you fall forward against him, arms made of jelly. Before he even has time to check on you, you push up on his chest, balancing yourself upright again. He gives you a half-concerned, half-amused look and you answer his unspoken question, “I’ve got one more apology to make.” He shakes his head, smiling and gestures for you to take the lead again.

You bounce on him, knowing he loves to watch the way your tits sway when you ride him like this. “Tell me when,” you direct, speeding up your pace. You’re nowhere near the speed he was moving at but it still only takes a couple minutes of work to get Ash groaning and grabbing at your ass.

"Love you like this, baby," he mumbles, kneading your cheeks as you move on him. He lets you get a few more pumps in before his fingers are digging into you and he’s growling, “So fucking beautiful… squeezing me so fuckin' tight, baby… ‘s all I can take, got me too fuckin’ close.”

The urgency in his voice springs you into action and you climb off and swiftly take him in your mouth. Ash moans loudly as you quickly bob your head up and down, not wanting to lose momentum. You flutter your tongue along the underside of his cock, murmuring as you taste your own release on his skin. You pull up, letting your hand continue to work him and you let the spit pour down your chin as you look at him and rasp, “Gonna let me have it all, Daddy? Promise I’ll be good and take every drop.”

Ashton props himself up on his elbows, stroking through your hair before his loving but firm hand starts coaxing you back down; his hazel eyes are clouded with lust as he meets your gaze and breathes, “Don’t swallow.”

A thrill runs through you and you share a mischievous look with him as you lower your mouth on him. His hand stays in your hair, applying light pressure as you sink down as far as you can before you start gagging; he pulls you back and guides you to bob more shallowly and seconds later, with a loud shout of your name, he’s cumming.

You focus on the sounds of his grunting and groaning as the hot liquid shoots across your tongue; you close your eyes, trying your hardest to follow his direction and fight your instinct to swallow. You pull back so you’re suckling at the head and you feel his grip on your hair start to slack as he takes his other hand and gives himself a few light strokes, milking out every last drop for you.

With an exhausted sigh, Ashton gently tugs your head back and instructs, “Show me.” You eagerly open your mouth, wiggling your tongue around, enough to let him see his release swirling around but careful not to let any of it spill from your lips. The satisfied look on his face has you feeling like you might cum again on the spot. “Good girl,” he smirks proudly. “Now make it disappear for me.”

A sly smile of your own spreads across your face as you let some - but not all - of the substance slide down your throat before leaning in to kiss him, murmuring as he takes the hint and deepens it, dipping his tongue in your mouth for a taste. You take it a step further, using your tongue to push the remaining cum inside his mouth, a chill running down your spine as he moans against your lips.

He tugs your bottom lip between his teeth before pulling away, giving you an amused look. You shrug playfully, explaining, “You just said ‘make it disappear,’ you didn’t specify how.”

He chuckles and pulls you closer for the slow, reassuring kiss he typically lays on you after a kinky, more intense session like you just had. You smile softly at each other and when the moment is over, he gently grabs your hand and leads you to the bathroom for a quick cleanup.

You return to the bedroom a few moments later and Ash resituates the bed while you slip on a new shirt and underwear. You crawl back under the covers together and he promptly lays you on his chest, hand once again sneaking up the back of your tee, craving as much skin on skin contact as he can get.

“You sure about not wanting to fight ever again? Don’t wanna miss out on fun like that,” you joke, heart swelling at the ridiculous cackle that rattles through your boyfriend’s chest.

“Maybe we pick smaller, lower stakes things to fight about,” he muses, kissing your forehead. “What movie to watch, who has to load the dishwasher. No more serious shit.”

You cock your head at him amusedly. “Maybe… it is nice knowing the ‘Daddy’ card still works, though.” He pokes at you and you let out a squeal which he silences with another sweet kiss.

There’s a beat and then Ashton sighs, “I am sorry, baby. I wish I hadn’t said --- “

“Hey. No, Ash, we promised we weren’t gonna do that,” you cut him off, lifting your head to look at him. “That’s the past now. Who did what, what was said… ‘s not important. This is. This is all that matters.” You press a kiss to his shoulder, lightly pecking across his collarbones until you hear him give a deep exhale, letting go of whatever guilt he was still holding onto.

You settle back on him and he strokes his fingers through your hair, humming softly before thinking out loud, “I think I’d like us to try and set aside some time to spend together each week, no matter what we have going on. Obviously when it comes time to tour again, it’ll have to be virtual but… I just… I wouldn’t say we’ve started to take each other for granted… I just think maybe living together has gotten us used to how much we need each other and so now that we finally have other things that need our attention ---”

“When that need goes unfulfilled, disaster strikes,” you muse.

“Exactly.”

You gaze up at him fondly. “I think that’s a great idea, Ash.”

“Good,” he says, satisfied, before following up in a much softer voice. “I just don’t ever want to feel that disconnected from you again. I didn’t like it.”

You pout, squeezing yourself as tightly to him as you can. “Me neither, babe.”

The two of you lay quietly for a few moments. You’ve just started to drift off back to sleep when his voice breaks the silence. “Nap and then breakfast?”

“Mmm,” you approve, hands running across his chest hair. “Pancakes.”

Ashton clicks his tongue. “See, I was thinking breakfast burritos…”

You look up at him, love, mischief and exhaustion in your eyes. “Ooh, are we fighting again?” You suggestively ask, cocking an eyebrow.

He grins, pulling you back into his embrace. “Definitely nap first. We’re gonna need the energy if we’re gonna make up anymore today.” --- @conversecake @cxddlyash @cashtonasfuck @talkfastromance4 @camelliastreet @itjustkindahappenedreally @saywhatnow07 @mymindwide @suchalonelysunflower @pxrxmoore @findingliam-o @fedorable-killjoys @trix-arent-for-kids @olivia-foster-irwin @saphseoul @calmsweetcreature @onthecliffside-mgc @feliznavidaddycal @blacktreacles @maggiesupertramp @karajaynetoday @ashtonangst @sunshineeashton @aladyofalbion @youngblood199456 @xsongbirdx @fairytrice @calumrose @irwindoll @polycashton @in-superbloom @2fangirl4u @highstwildflower @t3lkfast @bport76

#prepare to be sick of me reblogging this because i intended to have this up wayyyy before today's pod so it's gonna get buried lol #5 seconds of summer smut #5sos smut #ashton irwin smut #ashton irwin fic #ashton smut #smut #kh4f fic #Gardener!Ash #kindahoping4forever #It's Morning Now #tbh don't have much else to say about it #things have been tough and for a minute i legit didn't know if i was done writing for good #but it feels nice to be posting again #and i am excited for what's next for this series #and hopefully i'll be able to follow through and bring that together in a timely fashion #health allowing smh #anyways #as always feedback reblogs and all that is encouraging and appreciated

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rum-and-shattered-dreams · 2 years ago

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The Man Downstairs Status Report - October 1, 2022

TL;DR - Hopefully the next chapter will be up next Saturday.

My area got super lucky with the hurricane and didn’t get any damage. I feel horrible for everyone to the south who got hit hard with not much warning. For days it was predicted to head north then at the last minute, nope. Good luck getting your shutters up and evacuating in less than a day while you’re probably already getting wind and rain and road closures! I am so sorry to you all. If anyone out there is saying anything about how they should have been ready and evacuated, you have no idea what it’s like to suddenly have it change course and come right at you. You can’t look at where the center is. Sometimes these places are already getting pelted with strong bands before it makes the turn toward them and it’s already dangerous to leave your home. (Downed power lines in pooling water, puddles that look shallow but your car will float away in them, alligators and no I am not kidding they will randomly show up in standing/flood water along with their water moccasin friends, downed trees you can’t see until you’ve pretty much crashed into them, random tornadoes, etc.)

Anyway, my dad and I did evacuate for a few days just in case because it was aimed right at us for a bit (as in, I zoomed in on the map and the center track took it a few feet away from our house) and I put up the shutters and did all of the prep. I found a hotel that let us bring our cats and learned that Moo apparently like traveling (and seems like she wants to do it again) but Meow very much does not.

Staying there for the storm would have been fun if it didn’t start raining down the inside of the windows halfway through XD. It was a nice place for a pretty cheap price but just took some damage from the wind and rain pelting it on that side for more than 24 hours. We did lose power in the early morning about 3/4 of the way through the storm but were able to head back home that afternoon and had power there. Now everything is cleaned up and the shutters are down and the housework that got shunted off of the schedule due to hurricane is done.

Now to get back to focusing on dad’s health. Basically, he got lucky that some other symptoms landed him in the hospital and they found a seriously large aneurysm and were able to repair it before it burst. He had another incident after that with another shorter hospital stay and now we’re trying to put all of the pieces together to figure out exactly what happened and how to prevent it from happening again.

And among all of this, a few friends moved in with me for a while which has been fun and helpful in a lot of ways for everyone involved but I have wanted to spend some time with them too because i barely got to see them for a long time because life and distance and all that. I’ve known one of them for 23 years now and we’ve pretty much at least messaged each other at least once a day for most of that time. It’s been great getting to talk in person again and cook together and stuff like we used to during convention costume prep back in the day.

But yeah, that all took time so I didn’t really get to work on the next chapter, though I did get in a few hours on it today. Now I’m hoping, fingers crossed, if things can stay okay for the next week, I should be able to have it up by next Saturday.

Hope everyone is well and thanks so much for sticking with me during the unexpected hiatus!

(Also, ha. Maybe I’m not always making the right decisions and maybe I make mistakes but I’ve been handling this all like a fucking boss so there’s that.)

#the man downstairs status report #the man downstairs #the man downstairs fic #the man downstairs au #mo's writing and such #mo's rambling and such

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nextdoorharry · 3 years ago

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imaaaaagine a world like that..can you? part 2

in which y/n sees a text, harry lies to her, and wants her back.

a/n: ahhhh!!! i feel like the first part of this story was a fan favorite out of all my other pieces! so thank you thank you thank you!!! hope you enjoy!

here’s the link to part 1 if you haven’t read it already!

you were always a light sleeper. you would wake up to a pillow falling on the floor, slight wind coming from outside, or even a phone that’s on silent vibrate. that’s the case when you woke up to a text vibration sound coming from a phone. tired eyes, you wake from your current position and see a love island episode playing. on auto-play of course because you already remember watching the previous episode a few days prior. you guess you and harry fell asleep during the new one you two were watching. with tired eyes, you squint to see harry sleeping peacefully. you miss this, you thought. sitting there in silence and taking in how harry used to sleep, slight snores, mouth a little open. except he’d be right next to you and not across.

your thoughts interrupted you hear the text buzz again. you grab what you assume to be your phone, since you and harry both have simple, plain black cases.

wrong.

it wasn’t your phone. it was harry’s.

you realized this when you read the text displayed on the lock screen, from olivia wilde.

I miss you, and our casual hookups. Can’t stop thinking about it. it read. you wanted to breakdown and cry right there.

you felt all kinds of emotions; confused, upset, angry, and jealous. why wouldn’t harry tell me this part? no i understand that, but why would he make it seem like he did not enjoy it at all? clearly he’s comfortable doing this stunt if he was hooking up with her. all these thoughts running through your head as you quietly get up, turn off the tv, and go upstairs to your bedroom. leaving harry to sleep on the couch.

you feel tears rolling down your face as you get into bed, quiet sobs erupting from your chest. you loved him. you still love him. you were glad when harry said that it’s all pr. you were glad when he made it seem like its all fake. but now, it was all a lie. sure it was a pr stunt, but harry and olivia seemed to take advantage of that and use that to get intimate. he clearly wasn’t as annoyed as he made to seem about the situation since he got to hookup with her. you may be jealous, but you don’t care that he didn’t mention something private like that to you, because he didn’t need to, it’s his business. but what stings is that he made it seem like it was clear he wasn’t actually into olivia.

you wake up to hear the coffee machine on, and the sound of something being cut against the cutting board. harry’s still here. you felt weird facing him now that you know he lied to you. even though you two aren’t in a relationship anymore, he has never lied to you. ever. nonetheless, you get up and proceed with your morning routine, then head downstairs.

“mornin,’ sleep well?” harry smiles as he sees you enter the kitchen. his eyebrows furrow a bit as you come closer to his vision. he couldn’t help but notice your eyes look a bit puffier than usual than how it normally looks when you’ve just woken up. he knows its either allergies or that you cried.

you reply with a slight “mhm” and reach for the cupboard to get glasses.

the thought of you crying makes him worried. it always did. you rarely cried during your relationship with him. only when it was a close individual’s funeral, or tears of laughter. or the day you two argued and he broke it off with you.

that’s why he hates seeing you in your state now. because if you were crying, all he could picture is the day you two broke up.

“y/n, y’good? your eyes look puffier than usual, love.” harry asks cautiously, trying to read your face, which refuses to make eye contact with him.

you were stood by the fridge, filling the glasses of water for the two of you when you replied, “m’good, just allergies. cat’s shedding season.” you say with a straight face, looking towards the glasses you’re filling. not wanting to look harry in the eyes. because all you can think about is how he was intimate with olivia, and how he lied. your stomach already turns at the thought.

“take the allergy meds that doctor prescribed you a while ago. remember it works wonders.” harry smiles, setting yours and his plate down on the table as you come and set the glasses down.

harry makes it so damn hard to hate him sometimes. the fact that he remembers the little things has you in awe. but no, not right now y/n.

“mhm, i’ll call in to get those refilled.” you lie through your teeth, acting as if the allergies were the reason for your current state, “thanks for breakfast by the way, y’didn’t have to. my fault for waking up later than usual.” you say sitting down.

harry sitting across from you, senses a different feel to how you were yesterday. you seem a bit off now, and you were never like this in the mornings. he supposes you did have a late night and filled with allergies bothering you, so you’re probably not in the best mood.

he shrugs it off, “no need, i overstayed my visit on accident, and its the least i can do after you helped me with my little uh, situation,” harry giggles, sticking a strawberry in his mouth.

you give him a glare as he looks down. his situation he says. you wanted to laugh in his face.

it’s a silent breakfast from there. harry in his own thoughts thinking about last night. oh, how much he missed you. how much he wanted to cuddle with you. be sleeping in bed with you. waking up to your face. soft kisses throughout. he misses it so much. he senses and hopes you miss him too. he had a good feeling last night. and that’s when he decides he needs to say something. if he doesn’t speak now, he never will. now’s the perfect time. after his tour and new album, he’ll be taking a break. a break from everything. a break to spend time with family, friends, live privately, and hopefully settle down with you. now’s the perfect time to reconcile with you and put the offer out on the table.

“..so,” harry begins. you look up and see harry putting his utensils down, wiping his mouth with a napkin, getting ready to speak. “after the tour ends, i’ll be releasing my album, do some promo for that, and then i’ll be on a hiatus..for however long i’d want it to be..”

you can’t just have all feelings for him disappear in less than 24 hours. so when he said that, you can’t lie to yourself and not feel some happiness. yet, he still better not say what you think he’s gonna say. you’re still mad at him y/n. don’t do this to yourself.

“so what are you saying..” you hum.

“god y/n, you know what i’m about to say.” harry purses his lips and looks you in the eye, hands reaching out for yours, “i’m ready to settle down with you, if you’d have me back that is.” he says with a little smile and gleaming eyes.

the days prior from yesterday of you finding out, you would’ve have said yes. you would have breathed out a finally, and had a sense of relief.

but now it’s going to be a different outcome. he took advantage of your kindness and you giving him advice. he took advantage of your time. maybe dramatic, but that’s how you see it.

you’re mad. that slight happiness you got when he said he was taking a break is gone.

“s’not even like we have to be boyfriend and girlfriend for another period of time! we can go straight to fiancés! we already have trust in each other, i mean we only broke up because of my work. nothing else was to be fixed in the relationship! i’ll put a ring on it right now if i have’ta!”

harry rambling, saying some bullshit about trust, causes you to interrupt him, “harry-“ he still rambles but now about having kids. “stop.” you say, voice grew a little louder and more stern.

harry pauses, wide-eyed. sure he didn’t know how you were even feeling about this, but he was sure the love you two have was still there.

“trust?” you laugh in disbelief. “first off, you’re acting like we took a break. a halt in our relationship until you were ready to settle down. you should know that’s not the case. i’ve been patient throughout our relationship far too long for me to be waiting around on your terms.”

“y/n i-“ he interrupts.

“no, i’m talking. this whole ‘trust’ thing is gone. i’m sorry but last night i woke up in the living room to a text notification. i assumed it was my phone, and since we have the same phone cases, i happened to pick yours up and saw a text from who’s supposed to be your ‘pr stunt’? she’s wanting to hook up with you? again? jesus harry, you should know why i’m mad and upset that you’re saying you want me now. even before you said all this, right after seeing that text, i was mad because you lied to me. look, you of course didn’t have to share that you were intimate with her; but don’t make it seem as if you’re not into her at all. and making it seem like it’s the poor girl’s fault. acting as if she’s a nuisance wanting to be intimate or affectionate, cause clearly you wanted her as well.” you end your speech with a sigh, shaking your head. you take a sip of water, mouth dry from the little speech you said. you wait for him to come up with whatever amusing thing he can say to make it not sound as bad as it is.

harry’s startled. doesn’t know what to say. he saw the text when he woke up, but he told her that it wasn’t for him anymore, that he just wanted you, and it was nice in the moment, but they are after all, strictly just business buddies with a platonic friendship. she understood, she seemed a bit mad, but harry didn’t care. he just wanted to make sure there’s nothing in his way to get you back, and that those hookups he had with her were in the past. he’s going to try to fix this.

you speak up again in a calmer tone, “you didn’t care about my feelings,”

his face turns red. nerves rattling him.

“y/n i feel awful about it, know what i mean i-“

you cut him off. “you made me look really dumb, harry.” you say while lightly nodding your head in order to get him to understand.

he begins to speak again. “look i’ll be honest. i should’ve mentioned it yesterday, and m’sorry for that. i will admit, there was a physical attraction with her at the beginning of everything, and since we were broken up-“

you correct him, “are, broken up.”

his heart hurts when you say that, he nods, “yes, are broken up, i didn’t want to live with any regrets. i felt it was better to just experiment and to take advantage of being in the stunt, seeing if there’s a spark,” he takes a breath. “i would’ve regretted if i didn’t and it was better to do it at the time because i didn’t know if you would even take me back once i came home,” he keeps fidgeting with his feet under the table, nervous on what your response will be; but hopefully understanding. because you always were.

wrong. boy was he wrong.

“so..you still did it with the intention of coming back home, hoping to get back with me?” you caught him. “harry..what are you even saying?”

he gulped. fuck. this looks bad. he didn’t think things through, he thought. “look, you didn’t feel anything rushing back last night? everything that we had, and built together?” face even more red.

“yeah and then today..you slapped me across the face with a lie and embarrassed me.” you spat. “what’s wrong with you? you don’t have any respect for me.” shaking your head in disappointment. “and its such a let down considering if you hadn’t hooked up with her, i would’ve hopped right into your arms right when you said you wanted to settle.”

he regrets everything and anything right when you said those words. why did he hook up with her? god did he really think y/n was going to just be waiting around? of course he thought so. he always did. and that’s why you two were broken up.

he sighed, shaking his head as well, as he’s disappointed in himself. he was about to speak, but you beat him to it. “i’m not mad that you hooked up with her, i’m mad that you don’t have any respect for me. i’m mad about your intentions behind it. and the fact that you lied to me making it seem like olivia is the bad guy saying, ‘s’like she enjoys it!’” you repeat his words he said to last night, when he made it seem like he wasn’t into her. “and just the fact that i gave you meaningful advice because i care about you, once again, you embarrassed me. i feel dumb, harry.”

he feels dumb too.

you still didn’t let him speak, instead, you let him leave.

“something needs to change, harry. until then, please leave.” you say, getting up from the table walking hurriedly upstairs, eyes beginning to water, but you feeling satisfied that you listened to your own advice you gave to harry: stand your ground.

a/n: man really thought y/n would be waiting around for her. smh.

hope you guys enjoyed this part!! still deciding on whether to make a part 3 or not! don’t really know which way i want to go about it.

#harry styles #harry #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry talk #harry styles x reader #harry styles angst #harry styles one shot #harry styles concept #harry styles series

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the-only-ace · 4 years ago

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Can you do a TaeminxReader where both the reader and Taemin are on The Knowing brothers and Heechul continuously flirts with the reader.

hello there~ i honestly don’t know if you still remember requesting this but here you go! i am so sorry for answering after such a long loooong hiatus. also, i am not really familiar with all the segments for the knowing brothers so i apologize in advance if some of them do not make sense. hope you still enjoy it nevertheless!

taemin scenario: just add jealousy

pairing: taemin x reader

word count: 2.3k

summary: taemin and reader have been liking each other for quite a while now and promoting as a duo together makes their relationship even more complicated. maybe a sprinkle of jealousy would finally ignite the sparks between them.

warnings: none

send in your requests here!

taemin plopped down on a seat and loosened the black necktie he was wearing for the knowing brothers recording. he reached over the table to grab a new bottle of water and contently chugged down its contents. the shoot just wrapped up and the cold drink was refreshing especially after participating in a lot of the activities today. he already spent more than a decade doing variety shows but this one made him extra tired. maybe it comes with age? who was he kidding, twenty-seven is not yet considered as old. he can perform and dance for hours and gladly do it again the next day. comparing to that, a tv show guesting should be a piece of cake but why does he feel more than relief to wrap it up earlier than expected.

with a long heavy sigh, taemin tilted his head backward and close his eyes. he knows exactly the reason why he feels exhausted and also annoyed. it was because of his certain senior called kim heechul.

a frown quickly formed across his forehead as the events a while ago replayed on his mind.

exhibit a:

“with your great chemistry on stage, fans keep on speculating if something is going on between you two. is there something we should know?” heechul asked as the cast talks about your debut single.

honestly, you were not that surprised with the question since it was quite a buzz across social media already. the other members of your girl group practically shoved their phones to your face whenever they saw comments regarding your performance. of course, their loud teasing comes next as if they were a package deal of some sort–which you don’t remember purchasing at all.

“no, we’re both just good friends.” you answered confidently with a chuckle. “i think my chemistry with taemin only comes from how much effort and passion we have put in our every performance. seeing such reactions from our audience makes both of us happy since it means that we did something great up there on stage.”

taemin was nodding silently beside you like a cute little puppy dog as he listened to your answer. he was quite proud of how well you handled the question on your own.

“so does that mean you’re still single?” the super junior member continued to ask.

“um… yeah, pretty much.” you laughed as you nod.

“then i can ask you out?” well, that one caught you off guard.

“hey, isn’t that a bit inappropriate?” taemin can’t help but interrupt your conversation.

“why is that?” the older guy snapped back and sounded a bit offended.

“because…” okay, taemin did not really think this through but thanks to his variety show experience, he was able to blurt out an entertaining response. “aren’t you a bit too old for her? wouldn’t that put you to… i don’t know, jail?” the comment earned laughs and more insults from the other members.

“look here, mister! she’s of legal age so what do you mean jail?” heechul stood up from his seat and started to point his index finger towards his junior. "also, don’t you guys think it’s up to y/n to decide?“ he directed his look to you and raised an eyebrow. “so, what do think?” he tried to pull off a flirty look.

“well, they do say age doesn’t matter in love.” you shrugged as you went with the flow.

taemin knew that you’re also good on variety shows especially on how open you are to any situations that were thrown in your way. you always have the best responses and reactions. that is why people from the industry love to invite you over to shoot an episode with them. however, he kind of hoped that you have let go of the idea of flirting back.

exhibit b:

heechul pulled out the empty chair beside him and patted it, indicating for you to sit beside him. you removed the black backpack you were wearing and placed it on top of the desk as you gladly sat down next to him.

“so where should i take you for our first date?” his sudden proposal caused you to scoff and let out an amused laugh.

“well… i do love eating expensive steak in a fancy restaurant where i can wear a beautiful dress that you bought while thinking of me.” you teased with a sweet smile.

“isn’t that too much for a high school student?” he mumbled to himself before reaching out to brush the stray hair on your forehead. “okay, oppa will do it for you.”

you placed both of your hands underneath your cheeks and looked at him cutely. “thank you, oppa!”

“oppa? more like samchon if you ask me.” taemin looked back from his seat in front of you two.

“alright, what the hell is your problem today? did i do something wrong?” heechul replied incredulously with his eyes wide.

“he’s just probably jealous. he wants some steak too.” you playfully stuck your tongue out before pushing taemin’s head so he would look in front once again.

exhibit c:

all of you are now playing the whisper challenge and it was yours and heechul’s turn. he was the one guessing and you were the one mouthing out the words. both of you are going at it for a while now and it makes you a bit frustrated on the inside. you can feel the sore throat creeping in as you blatantly repeated the same phrase over and over. he’s great at a lot of games but this one is definitely 100-percent not his forte.

“ah… ah ah, i know it now!” he finally said confidently with his right first up in the air. “i love you…”

his answer made you cover your face and burst out into fits of laughter before waving your hands in front of you indicating that he guessed the phrase wrong.

“i love you!” he repeated with more conviction.

“no, that’s not the word!” you shook your head while giggling.

“yeah, i know that’s not the word. i just want to say it to you.” he nodded before giving you finger hearts which you immediately reciprocate.

both of you are playfully flirting for most of the recording but this one got to be the cheesiness lines you heard today.

taemin was pulled out from his train of thoughts when he heard you snickering loudly from across the room and his head hastily snapped in your direction. there you were, wearing a high school uniform that matches his and he was not going to lie, he was stunned when he saw you wearing it the first time this morning. you look bright and youthful with the red checkered bow around your neck. your high-waisted skirt emphasizes your curves. your pair of black thigh-high socks were the perfect length to make your legs look longer. your hair was pulled up on a half ponytail which he doesn’t usually see on you so it was a sight for him to remember. there was a soft blush on your cheeks and across the bridge of your nose. the gloss on your lips was also mesmerizing as it catches the light every time you speak. that didn’t help at all given the fact that he often caught himself staring at your lips too much lately.

seeing you made him think that if you both met as high school students, he would have undeniably confessed to you in an empty classroom after class. he chuckled at the thought. he was not quite sure if you would have liked him back in high school since he was not confident in himself back then.

his daydreaming was cut short when he realized who you were talking to. it was none other than the kim heechul. he can’t help but observe as the two of you conversed animatedly with each other. he knew that heechul was a funny guy but he’s not that hilarous for you to laugh that hard. while listening to whatever story he has been conjuring, you were pulling your hair up in a quick messy bun since the studio was quite hot with all the lights around.

what happened next almost made taemin fell down from his seat. a scowl immediately appeared on his face as he watched heechul casually wiping the sweat on your nape with his handkerchief. not that taemin was counting but that was the 9th time he flirted with you today and not to mention that it was already after the show.

he bitterly watched as you both bid your goodbyes and now you were walking towards him. he cleared his throat and took another gulp from his water bottle.

“what’s with the long face?” you asked in fluent english as you sat down on the desk in front of him.

“what?” he looked up with a confused face.

“i thought you were taking english classes?” you mocked him–this time in korean. you nonchalantly reach out for his drink and took a sip.

you and taemin knew each other for quite a while now, almost 4 years to be exact. you were on friendly terms with him even before debuting as a duo but after spending these past few months preparing together, you have gotten much closer with him. too close that it became complicated for both of you. it was quite obvious that you two were acting more than friends but no one clearly expressed their feelings yet. the tension between you and him when you were alone became heavier and heavier as the days went by. you always have this urge to bring up the situation you two are in but everytime you were about to speak out, taemin would suddenly open up a conversation about a whole different topic.

“so what were you and heechul-hyung talking about a while ago?” yep, lee taemin always has awful timing.

“he just wanted to make sure that he didn’t make me feel uncomfortable during the recording a while ago.” you shrugged.

“oh, how sweet of him.” taemin scoffed and straighten up from his seat. “he even has to wipe your sweat for you.” he muttured under his breath.

“what was that?” you already heard what he said but it was too faint and you just wanted to make sure.

“nothing.” of course he would deny it. what did you expect?

“so… are you like jealous of heechul or something?” you were only joking, well half-joking. you used this opportunity to slowly open up the topic and to finally know where do you stand in his life.

he held your gaze for a few seconds before crossing his arms across his chest. you were not fully prepared for his serious stare and for what he said next. “and what if i am?”

“huh?” your dumbfounded voice was a couple of notes higher than usual.

“i said,” he leaned forward and looked up to you under his lashes. “what if i am jealous?”

you sat there frozen. you helplessly stared back at his eyes and looked for any signs that he was just fooling around. except it was clear as day, he meant what he said. you always have waited for this. you imagined all the possible scenarios. you even prepared what you would say once this was brought up but why were you speechless now? why do you feel all clammy and nervous? why can’t you calm down your frantic heartbeats?

you took a deep breath and forced yourself to bring back the confidence you once had. “then why don’t you ask me out already so you don’t have to feel threatened with every guy out there.”

“you know what?” he stood up and suddenly he was now towering over you. his scent wrapped all around you and it made you overheat even more. “i might just do that.”

“then i might just say yes.” you crossed your arms and hoped that it can disguise your slight shaking. whether it was from excitement or not, you do not know anymore. everything was happening so fast that you were not sure if you were comprehending them properly. you felt light-headed as you waited in silence.

“so we’re doing this?” his low voice broke the stillness.

“yes!” you responded a little too enthusiastically for your liking. you’re a mess right now, you ain’t denying that.

taemin chuckled softly before discreetly slipping his fingers under yours.

oh, god. you felt a shock and then a shiver from his touch. it was not like it was your first time to have skin-to-skin contact but this one was quite different. you can feel the tension slowly rising along with the heat on your cheeks. you can feel the frustrations that were build up every time you wanted to touch him in a not-so-friendly manner. you were willing to bet your life that he was currently feeling the same as you when you witnessed his eyes dilate and darken.

“look, as much as i want to make out with you right now. we can’t.” he took a step back and put his hands in the pockets of his black slacks.

you felt both relief and disappointment when he widened the distance between you two. you can now catch a breather at last.

“i mean we can’t… here.” he suggestively added before turning away. “i’ll be waiting in my dressing room.”

there goes your breath again.

it took you a minute to recover after hearing his inviting words. you looked around while you fan your warm face with your hands as if it helped with cooling yourself off. you closed your eyes and relaxed yourself for who knows how many times already. you then hopped down the desk and made your way to the place you can’t wait to go to.

if this was what jealousy does to taemin, you absolutely cannot wait to see more of it.

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