#//i might go ahead and give him the witch one too that one is cute

[mechahero]

//I'm saying it now before I forget. Some way, somehow, Lambda got his hands on and is in possession of the robot costume i-Cat from Burger King in 2008.

[rylem33]

The Root of Malice

Here's a new one from me. I hope you enjoy! I've updated my blog homepage as there were some of my posts not showing. So head over there if you want to read any of my 100+ stories. And, as always, feedback is welcome. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ella sat comfortably in the campus library, nestled in a cozy corner. The scent of books lingered in the air as she flipped through another dusty find. 

Across from her, Sam leaned back in his chair, grinning as he scrolled through his phone. They had spent the last half hour quietly teasing each other, their occasional laughter breaking the usual silence of the library. Sam, ever patient with her whims, loved these little moments with Ella, even if they were spent surrounded by piles of books.

“Still looking through dusty old books, huh?” Sam teased, leaning over to glance at the weathered pages she was studying. “You sure you’re not secretly a witch?”

Ella smirked, gently nudging him with her foot under the table. “Maybe I am, and you should be careful—might turn you into a frog or something.”

“Good luck with that,” Sam chuckled, reaching across the table to give her hand a playful squeeze. “If I turn into a frog, you’ll be the one kissing me to break the curse, remember?”

Ella laughed, her soft blonde hair falling over her shoulder as she shot him a playful look. “I’d rather keep you as a frog. You’d make a cute one.”

He leaned forward with a grin. “You’d miss me too much.”

“Maybe,” she replied, her smile widening as their banter continued.

After a few more playful jabs, Sam finally set his phone down and leaned on his elbow, watching her with that familiar, affectionate gaze. “So, what are we thinking? Should we hit up the party soon? Some of the guys from class are already there. I promised we’d at least make an appearance.”

Ella glanced down at the open book in front of her—a curious old thing she had found tucked away in the back of a shelf. Something about it had caught her attention. The strange, faded symbols on the cover seemed to pull her in.

She looked back at Sam with an apologetic smile. “You go ahead, I’ll catch up. I need to finish up some research for my project.” She gestured at the book.

Sam raised an eyebrow, amused. “More research, huh? Only you would choose an old book over a party.” He leaned across the table, lowering his voice. “You sure it’s not a spellbook?”

She rolled her eyes, though her smile didn’t fade. “Fine, fine. Go to your party before I put a hex on you.”

He laughed, standing up and reaching down to ruffle her hair. “Okay, okay, I’m going. But don’t take too long. You owe me a dance, witch.”

Ella looked up at him, her expression softening. “I’ll be there soon. Promise.”

Sam paused, then leaned down to press a gentle kiss to her lips. It was sweet and tender, lingering for just a moment as his hand rested on her shoulder. “I love you, El.”

“I love you too,” she whispered, her heart warm as she gazed up at him.

With one last smile, Sam turned and headed toward the library door, waving over his shoulder as he disappeared into the hallway. Ella watched him go, her fingers absentmindedly running through her hair before turning her attention back to the book that lay open in front of her. 

She had been working on a research project for her psychology class—human behavior, specifically what drove people to be cruel. It was a fascinating, albeit dark, topic that had captured her interest for weeks. Ella had already sifted through academic papers and case studies, searching for answers to the age-old question of what made some people malicious while others leaned toward kindness. 

Her project had been focused on clinical explanations, theories of aggression, and the societal factors that could lead to cruelty, but in her search through the library’s shelves, she stumbled upon this peculiar book, tucked away in the farthest corner of the psychology section. Its worn cover had no title, and its pages were brittle. But the strange thing was its content—a brief mention of something called the Root of Malice, an idea that didn’t quite fit with the modern research she’d been reading. It intrigued her, and though she had no real reason to follow this particular lead, curiosity had taken hold.

Ella flipped through the delicate pages, her eyes narrowing as she scanned the odd, archaic language scrawled across the parchment. Some of the text was faded and difficult to decipher, but every so often a word would leap out at her—malice, cruelty, darkness.

The further she read, the more she could feel something… off. The air around her seemed to grow heavier. Her fingers seemed to tingle as they brushed over the worn pages. 

As she reached the middle of the book, her breath caught in her throat. There, filling an entire page, were strange symbols around an elaborate picture. They weren’t like anything she’d seen before.

Ella whispered the unfamiliar words aloud, struggling to pronounce the strange syllables. “Anhar oza seltor…”

The moment the last word left her lips, a sudden heaviness descended upon her. The air around her seemed to thicken, pressing down on her chest, making it hard to breathe. Her vision blurred as a wave of dizziness washed over her, the room tilting slightly as if the very ground beneath her had shifted.

She tried to stand, her legs trembling beneath her, but the heaviness intensified. Her fingers curled tightly around the edges of the table for support, the world spinning too quickly for her to make sense of it. Every movement felt slow and labored, like she was moving underwater.

And then… everything went dark.

Ella’s body slumped in the chair, a faint sigh escaping her lips.

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When she awoke, it was as if no time had passed at all. Her eyes fluttered open, and for a moment, everything felt disjointed. She blinked, disoriented, the blurry outlines of bookshelves and the faint hum of fluorescent lights slowly coming into focus. The library was quiet.

The heaviness was gone.

Ella sat up slowly, her hands gripping the arms of the chair for balance as she took a deep breath. Her head no longer spun, and the crushing weight that had overtaken her just moments before had vanished entirely, replaced by an odd sense of calm. She felt… fine. Completely fine, actually. 

Had she fainted? She didn’t feel weak or sick. 

She glanced down at the book, its pages still open to the strange symbols she had tried to read aloud. An odd shiver went down her spine.

The clock on the wall caught her eye. I should just call it a night.

She let out a shaky breath, the unease in her chest slowly subsiding as she closed the book with a soft thud. Sam would be waiting for her at the party, and the thought of seeing him was a welcome distraction after… whatever that was.

“I’ll come back to this later,” she muttered to herself, sliding the book to the edge of the table, feeling more relieved than she cared to admit. Research could wait. She needed to shake this off, clear her head, and enjoy herself tonight.

Ella grabbed her bag and stood up, the usual lightness returning to her steps as she headed for the library exit. Everything felt normal again, but a small voice in the back of her mind wondered why she had fainted at all.

She pushed the thought away, forcing a smile as she stepped into the cool evening air. It’s fine. I’m fine. Sam would laugh at her when she told him about her strange experience, and that was exactly what she needed right now—just a fun night to forget about the bizarre pull of that book.

As she walked toward the party, the memory of the symbols started to fade, and with it, the heaviness that had briefly weighed her down. Everything was normal. Everything was fine.

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Ella left the library feeling oddly energized. By the time she arrived at the party, she was in high spirits. She moved through the crowded house, smiling at familiar faces, her attention focused on finding Sam. She scanned the room but couldn’t spot him immediately.

It’s fine. I’ll find him eventually, she thought, a slight smirk playing on her lips. Normally, she’d feel nervous or self-conscious, but tonight was different.

A girl she recognized from one of her classes waved at her. “Hey, Ella!” she called out with a warm smile. Ella returned the wave, moving to approach her, but the moment she did, a sharp, searing pain shot through her head. She gasped, clutching her temple.

What the hell?

The pain faded as quickly as it had come, leaving her standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. She tried to ignore it, taking another step toward the girl to say hello, but the stabbing pain returned, worse this time, as if something was trying to force her away from doing it.

She stopped, panting softly, the pain slowly subsiding. What’s going on?

But then, as she turned away from the friendly girl and bumped into a guy who accidentally spilled his drink on her arm, a flash of anger surged through her. “Watch where you’re going, asshole,” she snapped, pushing him back slightly.

And then it hit—a wave of pleasure so intense it made her shiver. Her whole body tingled as a warm, satisfying sensation flowed through her. It felt… incredible.

She blinked in shock, standing still as the rush of pleasure slowly ebbed. That felt… good.

Her fingers brushed against the spot on her arm where the drink had spilled. Normally, she would have apologized or brushed off the situation entirely. But being rude—no, cruel—had felt amazing, like she had tapped into something new. Her lips curled into a small smile as the realization sunk in. When I’m nice, it hurts. When I’m not… it feels so damn good.

She moved through the party, her mind racing. Every time she considered doing something kind or polite, like offering someone a smile or holding the door, that sharp, throbbing pain returned. But when she deliberately knocked into someone, or made a snide comment under her breath, the pleasure would return, flooding her senses. She couldn’t help but want more.

Finally, she saw Sam across the room, talking to a group of people by the bar. Her heart should have leapt at the sight of him, but instead, a cold detachment settled over her. She strode over, her steps confident and purposeful, feeling a thrill building inside her.

“Hey, babe,” she said casually, sliding up next to him. Sam turned to greet her, but as soon as he saw her, his face froze.

“Ella? What happened to your hair?” he asked, confusion lacing his voice.

Her hand instinctively went up to touch her hair. “What?” she asked, more out of annoyance than confusion. But the second she tried to explain or reassure him, a sharp pain spiked in her temple. She winced, her teeth gritting against the sensation.

“I—I don’t know,” she stammered, frustration building inside her as the pain pulsed.

Sam’s concern deepened. “Are you okay? You’re acting really weird.”

“I’m fine, okay?” she snapped, and just like that, the pain disappeared, replaced by another surge of pleasure. It was intoxicating, almost euphoric.

Sam blinked, surprised by her sudden outburst. “Ella, I’m just trying to help—”

“I don’t need your help!” she spat, the words spilling out before she could stop herself. The pleasure hit her again, hard, coursing through her veins like a drug. Her pulse quickened, and she realized she wanted more. Being cruel… felt good.

Sam stepped back, his face hardening. “Fine,” he muttered, his voice cold. “I’ll give you space.”

Ella’s chest tightened, the remnants of the old her stirring within, urging her to say something, to explain. Tell him it’s the spell. But she couldn’t. The moment she tried, the searing pain would shut her down.

Instead, she stood there, feeling the thrill of power and control surge through her as Sam walked away. Her hand trembled slightly as she ran it through her hair again, the unfamiliar black strands slipping between her fingers.

Ella watched Sam walk away, her chest heaving as the anger bubbled beneath the surface. Her eyes followed him as he disappeared into the crowd, but instead of the sorrow she expected to feel, there was only a hollow coldness. The part of her that used to care felt distant, almost unreachable. All she could focus on now was the raw energy surging inside her, the anger swirling.

Her fists clenched at her sides, the pleasure from snapping at Sam still pulsing in her veins like a warm, addictive buzz. Why did it feel so good to push him away? That thought should have terrified her, but it didn’t.

“Ella? Hey, Ella!” A familiar voice broke through her thoughts. She turned to see Claire, one of her oldest friends, weaving through the crowd toward her. Claire’s face was creased with concern, her eyes darting nervously between Ella and the direction Sam had gone. “I just saw you with Sam… Are you okay? You look upset.”

Ella blinked, the remnants of her old self stirring beneath the surface. Claire had always been a good friend, someone who cared. Ella knew she should be thankful—she should be kind, explain things, apologize for how she was acting.

But as soon as she opened her mouth to speak, the pain struck again. Hard. A white-hot spike of agony shot through her skull, forcing her to grit her teeth and clutch her head. The kindness she’d tried to summon was immediately snuffed out, replaced by the growing rage that had been festering since she arrived at the party.

The pain vanished, and in its place, a surge of blissful pleasure rolled through her body. The sharpness of it nearly made her gasp. She lowered her hand slowly, her dark eyes narrowing as she looked at Claire.

“Am I okay?” she repeated, her tone dripping with disdain. “Why the hell wouldn’t I be?”

Claire blinked, taken aback by the venom in Ella’s voice. “I just… you seemed upset with Sam, and I—”

“What? You think I can’t handle my own shit?” Ella snapped, her voice louder now, catching the attention of a few nearby partygoers. “I don’t need you, or anyone else, swooping in like I’m some pathetic damsel who needs rescuing.”

Claire’s eyes widened, her expression quickly shifting from concern to confusion. “Ella, I didn’t mean it like that. I just—”

“Shut up, Claire,” Ella cut her off sharply, the pleasure now a steady hum beneath her skin, fueling her words. It felt incredible. With each cruel comment, the pain in her head lessened, and the rush of power intensified. “Do me a favor and mind your own business for once. Maybe that’s why you’re always clinging to me like some desperate little puppy—because you can’t even keep your own life together.”

The hurt that flashed across Claire’s face was immediate, her eyes going glassy as she struggled to comprehend the sudden cruelty. “Ella… what’s going on with you? This isn’t like you.”

Ella tilted her head, a slow, wicked smile spreading across her lips. “Just fuck off,” she said, her voice almost electric. The thrill of seeing Claire’s discomfort—the way she was shrinking back—sent another wave of pleasure through Ella, and she felt herself reveling in it. Why had she spent so much time being nice when this felt so damn good?

Claire took a step back, clearly shaken. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I’m not sticking around to find out,” she muttered, her voice trembling before she turned and hurried away, glancing back only once with a look of both fear and sadness.

As Claire disappeared into the crowd, Ella’s body hummed with satisfaction. She stood there, feeling a strange mix of triumph and hunger. She had liked that. The power. The control. Watching someone crumble under her words had been exhilarating.

She glanced around the party, her mind still buzzing, her body craving more.

Ella’s pulse quickened as she watched Claire disappear into the crowd, the rush of power still humming beneath her skin. She had never felt this way before—so alive, so charged with energy. She didn’t want it to stop.

Her eyes scanned the room, searching for her next outlet. That’s when she noticed him—a guy standing against the far wall, staring at her. He looked like he was trying to play it cool, but his gaze lingered a little too long, and Ella could feel the pull of his attention. He was tall, with dark hair and a cocky grin that seemed to falter when she locked eyes with him.

A smirk curled on her lips as she started walking toward him, her hips swaying with purpose. He straightened up, watching her approach, clearly not expecting her boldness.

Without a word, Ella reached him and, with no hesitation, she raised her hand and smacked him hard across the face. The sharp sound echoed through the small space, and the guy’s head snapped to the side. A murmur of shock rippled through a few people nearby who had seen the sudden act, but Ella didn’t care. She felt a surge of pleasure—intense and almost dizzying—pulse through her at the sight of his stunned expression.

He blinked, his hand flying to his cheek as he looked back at her, confusion and a strange mix of attraction swirling in his eyes. “What the hell?” he started, his voice low, but before he could say anything else, Ella stepped in close, her body pressing against his.

“Shut up,” she whispered, her breath hot against his skin.

Then she kissed him. Hard. Her mouth crashed against his, open and aggressive, her tongue forcing its way past his lips as she took complete control. He hesitated for a split second before kissing her back, clearly turned on by her wildness, though completely unsure of what had just happened. His hands hovered near her waist, unsure whether to touch her or not.

Ella bit down on his bottom lip as she pulled away, not enough to hurt, but enough to leave a sting. He winced, a small groan escaping his mouth as his eyes met hers, filled with a mix of desire and bewilderment.

She leaned in close, her lips brushing against his ear. “Don’t stare at what you can’t handle,” she whispered, her voice low and dripping with menace. She stepped back, licking the taste of his blood from her lips as she watched him, still dazed and turned on, staring at her like he didn’t know whether to run or beg for more.

With a final, cold smile, she turned on her heel and walked away, leaving the guy standing there, clutching his lip, his eyes wide with confusion and raw lust.

Ella laughed softly, a dark, twisted sound that sent shivers down her spine. The pleasure coursing through her was like nothing she had ever felt before, and she wanted more. More of the power. More of the control. More of this dark, intoxicating version of herself that had been hidden for so long.

But then she saw him. Sam.

He was standing near the bar, his eyes locked onto her from across the room. His eyes looked hurt, wet, heartbroken

For a split second, something in her chest tightened. I should explain… I should—

The thought barely formed in her mind before an intense bolt of pain ripped through her skull, so sharp and sudden that it nearly knocked her off balance. She gasped, clutching her head as the pain shot through her temples, worse than before. It felt like her mind was being torn apart. Every attempt to reach out to Sam, every impulse to apologize or explain, was met with a violent surge of agony that made her stomach twist.

“Fuck,” she muttered under her breath, biting down hard to suppress a scream. The pain throbbed, forcing her to let go of any thought of being kind or soft. No. Not kind. Not good.

The pain was too much.

So instead, Ella sneered, her lips curling into a wicked smirk as she slowly raised her hand. Without breaking eye contact, she flipped him off, her middle finger raised high, a silent, defiant message of finality. The action sent a new wave of satisfaction coursing through her, the pleasure intoxicating and powerful.

He didn’t deserve an explanation. Not anymore.

With that, she spun on her heel and stormed out of the party, her pulse pounding in her ears. As the night air hit her face, a slow, dark grin spread across her lips. 

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Ella walked through the empty streets, her mind flush with anger, desire, power. The rush from flipping Sam off, the look on his face as she left him standing there, confused and heartbroken… it felt so right, so thrilling.

Her feet carried her to the library before she even realized where she was headed. It was late now, long after closing time, the large wooden doors locked tight, the building dark. But Ella didn’t care. She felt a pull—a strange connection to the book she had found earlier, the one that had started all of this. She needed to get back to it. She had to.

Approaching the front entrance, she tested the doors, rattling the handles, but they didn’t budge. She could see the book in her mind, calling to her, and the locked doors only fueled her frustration. The sharp pang of disappointment flared briefly in her chest, but then a thought—no, an urge—took over. Why follow the rules? Being bad had felt good so far, hadn’t it?

Without hesitation, she picked up a heavy stone from the nearby garden bed and hurled it at one of the tall windows. The sound of shattering glass echoed through the empty streets, and the thrill that followed was immediate, sending a jolt of pleasure rippling through her body. Yes.

She climbed through the broken window, not caring if she cut herself on the shards as she dropped onto the cold floor inside. The thrill of destruction pulsed through her, making her heart race with excitement. The more she disobeyed, the stronger she felt. It was exhilarating.

The library was dark and still, the only sound the faint echo of her footsteps on the old wooden floors. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the dim light as she made her way back to the nook piled with her books.

There it was, lying exactly where she’d left it on the table, almost as if it had been waiting for her. She reached out and picked it up, the leather-bound cover cool against her skin. As soon as her fingers touched it, she felt a surge of energy.

She turned to a page, as if on auto-pilot. It was covered with strange symbols that seemed to glow in her eyesight. Though they were still foreign to her, she understood them instinctively. The spell on the page hummed with power, and it seemed to call to her, as if it had been waiting for her to store enough of dark energy to unlock its potential.

Ella’s heart raced. She knew what to do. She had enough—enough anger, enough cruelty, enough bad energy stored within her. And now, she was ready. Ready to unleash it.

She took a deep breath and began to whisper the words on the page, her voice low and steady. As the words left her lips, the energy inside her shifted, swirling and building into something more, something darker.

The symbols on the page glowed brighter, their light wrapping around her like tendrils of shadow, weaving through her fingers and up her arms. Ella’s body tingled, her heart pounding as the spell consumed her. She could feel the darkness pooling inside her, growing stronger with every word she spoke.

And then, with a final, whispered phrase, the energy exploded outward. 

A violent surge of energy erupted from within her, enveloping her in a cocoon of dark, swirling shadows. 

Her body trembled as the energy coursed through her veins, reshaping her from the inside out. Her soft, delicate features contorted, hardening with sharp edges as her skin began to glow with an unnatural hue. The sensation was both painful and intoxicating, like every nerve in her body was on fire, but the pleasure of it was overwhelming. She welcomed it—craved it.

Her hair, once a shimmering black, lengthened, flowing in dark, glossy waves down her back like a river of shadow. It thickened and twisted with a life of its own, framing her face as if the darkness itself was molding her into something more than human. She could feel her body shifting, her curves becoming more exaggerated, more seductive, every inch of her screaming power and allure. Her waist narrowed, her hips flared, and her breasts swelled, the intricate black lace-like designs crawling up her skin, wrapping around her like living tattoos. They moved, shifting and changing, merging with her skin in beautiful, haunting patterns.

Her hands flexed, the delicate fingers elongating, nails sharpening into blackened claws, gleaming with a predatory sheen. The feeling of control, of sheer dominance, flooded her senses. Her eyes, once wide and soft, darkened into pools of shadow, glowing with an inner crimson fire that burned with malevolent intent.

As her transformation reached its peak, two large, obsidian horns erupted from her skull, curving upward like a crown of dark power. They were sharp and imposing, exuding a terrifying majesty that made her feel like a queen—no, a goddess of the damned. A mask, forged from the very darkness surrounding her, materialized over her face, intricately designed with a skeletal, demonic beauty, making her look like a nightmare made flesh. The cold metal pressed against her skin, but instead of discomfort, it brought her more pleasure—more power.

And there she stood—no longer Ella, the sweet, quirky girl who once cared for kindness and love. She was now the embodiment of cruelty, of power, of unstoppable evil. Every ounce of the “bad” energy she had absorbed had transformed her into this—into a being of sheer dominance and destruction, a force that would be unleashed upon the world.

Ella looked down at her new form, feeling the raw power surging through her with every breath. The pain, the confusion—it was all gone, replaced by an unrelenting hunger for chaos, for cruelty, for conquest.

She smiled, her fanged teeth glinting in the dim light. She was Malice and the world had no idea what was coming.

[lovethatmakingcoffee]

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Rating: 10/10

https://manhuascan.com/manga/another-typical-fantasy-romance

AND I SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST!!!! Against what the name suggests, this is clearly not your typical fantasy romance story! It is so much more!!! Firstly, the male love interest isn't your typical willowy bishonen man. No, this is Pell and I want to chomp on his big fat nipples. He is a bear of a man, covered in hair and scars and uuuggh, Littera u are so lucky, girl! He is like- a gentle giant with big insecurities, but can also deck any monster and oof!!! He is just a nice change of pace and I wanna eat him up. Also Littera is just meta-savvy and knows her way around things, and we get to watch their relationship grow from pretty cute to so communicative it's ridiculous! There is no miscommunication here! They talk about their feelings and just make everything perfect between each other. It's so gooey, and cute, and they are so sensible! I love them and can't wait until they have a million little babies! I recommend this one out of all others if not just for Pell alone!

[melanielocke]

I've not got the chance to send a proper ask until now, but congratulations for 150 followers, Nina!!!

I'm very glad you're on this hellsite and in the tsc/tlh fandom, with all you've done and in the general special sense of being mutuals <3

So I thought, perhaps:

💭 for Edwin and Robin (I checked A Marvelous Light after I saw your recommendation btw, and generally enjoyed it!)

📃 whatever fic/story you worked on last, tell me how's it going and how do you feel about it? :3

And lastly, ✨ if I wish to send you a cute little gif of your favorite animal, what animal would that be?

I hope it's not much, and I wish you have a great week ahead of you! Congrats! 🥳

💭 I love them! I relate to Edwin especially (and am pretty sure he's autistic), but generally they're a very sweet and at times awkward couple which really stands in contrast with what will come in the later books (Hawthorn especially, since his romance story will essentially be asshole x asshole).

📃 I am currently working on an as of yet untitled m/m fantasy romance set in a world inspired by ancient Greece and the Roman empire.

The main character is Marius, the autistic husband of the Vallerican emperor. He is Kristeian originally, and his homeland was conquered by Vallerica not long after he was born. It was Marius' father who made this all possible by betraying his country, which is why they're close enough to the imperial royal family that Marius got to marry into that family.

When unrest and rebel activity in Kristeia becomes impossible to ignore, Marius volunteers to go back home and see if he calm down his people. While he understands their anger, and believes Kristeia should be free, he does not think that is realistic and worries that rebellion will only get a lot of people killed.

Lysander is a gladiator, fighting for people's entertainment rather than for the empire. But he's also a rebel, and wants nothing more than free his homeland and restore it to the way it used to be, something he's only heard in his parents' stories. When Marius comes to Kristeia, Lysander and his sister kidnap Marius with the idea of ransoming him back to the emperor in exchange for Kristeia's freedom.

Marius will have to choose between his husband, and what is right for his people, and in the cave system where he's held captive he discovers signs of an ancient weapon, something that might give Kristeia a fighting chance against the empire.

I am currently editing my first draft (nearly finished) and am really loving it. Marius is a very sweet and soft character, but at the same time he's lived in a position of immense privilege and has to figure out how to do what's right. Emperor Ambrosius was an interesting villain to develop because he's also Marius' husband and Marius loves him at the start of the story, so I had to develop him properly to show why Marius loved him, even if that love is misguided and the relationship is very unhealthy and unequal.

There's magic too! Essentially, in Kristeia everyone has magic (In Vallerica it's a bit more restricted) and it's given to people through a ritual when they're babies. Powers are typically small and limited. Marius' power is related to time. Specifically, he can reverse time a limited amount of times for up to five minutes, which is very helpful because he's autistic and in an environment with little room for error, so when he messes up, he can reverse time and try again. He can also slow down time and speed it up. Lysander's power is that he's immune to magic (unless he allows it in, for example to be healed), so when Marius reverses time he remembers everything and when Marius slows down or speeds up and Lysander is in his proximity, he'll join Marius at his speed. And Ambrosius (the emperor) can read a person's desire by touching them, and his biggest limitation is that he only reads one desire at the time and it's a little random what it is.

My biggest struggle is the title. For some books, it's easy. For example the Witch in the Woods is an obvious title since it's pretty much about a witch in the woods (and it refers to both the wicked witch and Gretel). Whereas with this book? There's a lot going on, there's magic, but that's not the main plot, there's romance, rebellion, what should the title even refer to? If someone has any title ideas pleas send them my way

✨ This is a difficult question but lately I did work on the Stars Collide a little and introduced Rostam being obsessed with penguins so I'm going to go with penguins

[lampmanliveblogs]

I-is… is that him? Is this it? Has the time come to meetDELL CLAWTHORNE, the man we have heard so much about yet know so little about? Is it finally time to meet the man who… has a THE SAME hair color than EDA CLAWTHORNE….huh.

(the joke is that I copied and pasted a paragraph I wrote earlier and then badly replaced some of the words, resulting in a weird mess)

Oh come on, I wanted to see the rest of that scene, or at least get a proper face reveal.

And was it just me, or did Dell’s palisman look a bit like Little Rascal? Regardless, the Clawthorne family stays on brand with their bird-themed palismen. I wonder if Luz is going to get a bird too? It would be kinda cute.

Anyways, if Philip’s spell worked, our intrepid trio of one (1) time traveler, one (1) dimension hopper, and one (1) time-traveling dimension hopper should find themselves at the front door of The Collector. Hey, what was that thing I said before, you know, the thing where I entertained the idea that Luz & Lulu would end up being the blurred-out people we saw with Philip in Musse’s replay?

Well, that is certainly one way to get ahead.

So they’re in a cave in the head of the Titan… and probably not at The Collector’s domain, more like a stop on the way. But still, this is interesting because we know that in some 350 years or so, Belos master plan will involve bringing a lot of witches to the head to perform his big spell. So it might be worth remembering this cave (and if Luz or Lilith had enough time to memorize that teleportation spell Philip used… it might come in handy).

Oh, never mind then, The Collector does live here.

It’s gonna turn out that Belos master plan was some kind of really elaborate prank to invite WAY too many people to The Collector’s birthday party or something.

This is a terrible screenshot. Luz blinked for one decisecond and I somehow managed to pause at this exact frame. I love it.

Anyways, first things first, the door. It’s some kind of puzzle, which Philip claims he can’t solve (because he’s frail). Yet when Lilith examines it, she claims most of it has ben solved already.

Lilith then goes on to vent some worries she has to Luz. That being, that this Philip is giving her some bad vibes. She says it’s ”uncomfortably familiar.” Which, to me, sounds like she’s referring to a certain man she knows. Someone who manipulated her by giving her false promises.

I’m talking about Belos. Belos told Lilith that if she captured Eda, he’d cure her curse, but he never planned on doing that. He was just using her… as it’s implied Philip is using her and Luz right now.

In this case, it seems to me like Philip might’ve brought Luzura and Dirtrude with him as pawns or sacrifices. Some danger lurks here…

[spectre-writes]

Why you should read 'The Witch and the Beast' manga by Kousuke Satake

Alrighty folks, time to talk about this manga:

Looking at the covers, you're probably thinking ‘oh, this is some cute paranormal romance kinda thing, right?’ Well, that where you’re wrong… this manga is a hell of a lot more action packed and filled with horror than you’re thinking, and while there’s certainly a degree of… ‘something’ going on, it’s subtle, it’s complicated, and it’s anyone’s guess where it’s going. 

Heads up that there will be a few spoilers in this. I'll start off by dropping some fight scene panels so you know I'm not fibbing about how action packed this manga is:

This is a dark fantasy where the world is one filled with magic, where witches are considered the biggest threat, and have a reputation as being evil (which while not all are, there are some super bad ones out there). Basic plot is about our two main characters taking on witches.

So, who are our main characters? Well, first off we have Ashaf. He’s a mage working for ‘the order of magical resonance’, which specializes in dealing with magical problems/threats. He’s polite, calm and collected, and acts like everything is going to plan (even when it very much isn’t). Carries around a coffin and has crow familiars so a treat for you goths out there. His motives are… ambiguous but we’ll get to that in a bit.

Our second character is Guideau, someone who is violent, fowl mouthed, rash and… pretty much Ashaf’s complete opposite. But she’s agreed to work with him and the order. Why? Well, she’s been cursed by a witch, and needs to find that witch to break the curse… What curse you ask? Well… minor spoilers, but that’s not Guideau’s actual body… Guideau’s actual body is a beast of world destructive power that looks like this:

Yep, that’s right. Massive non-bindary/genderfluid energy there… my personal interpretation is non-binary in a sort of ‘whatever pronouns are most convenient go, but idgaf I just wanna kill that witch’ way, based on the fact Guideau never objects to anyone using female pronouns or male pronouns or states their gender. 

In fact, this whole manga has massive queer vibes… As well as another character later on who plays fast and loose with gender roles, there’s a way to temporarily break a witch’s curse (giving Guideau access to his original body), wanna know what it is? You have to kiss a witch… so yeah, we get scenes like this:

I really wasn’t expecting this and personally this whole aspect of the manga was a treat, though I get that might not be a factor for everyone.

There are some great side characters too, my personally favourite being a necromancer and her servant. She’s very sympathetic/kind to the dead and believes in treating them with respect, which is refreshing to see.

Now, Ashaf and Guideau… it’s complicated. Guideau’s motive is simply to find a way to remove her curse by locating the witch that cursed her, and that’s the only reason she agreed to work with Ashaf. As for Ashaf… well, he says their interests align, and I’d say he definitely has some stake in this, but there’s definitely some stuff he’s keeping quiet about and that’s something we’re going to slowly have to unravel. But I think it’s fair to say they’re growing closer, the question is… where exactly is that leading? I genuinely don’t know and that’s part of what I’m enjoying the most, I pretty much never get invested in stuff like this but I'm hooked. Big spoilers ahead but look at these panels and tell me you’re not intrigued…

Now, as for the world building… I really love how mages write to cast, it’s a nice little detail, and I enjoyed learning about how necromancy functions in this world. The witches also seem to have quite varied powers, which can make their fights seem more unique and means you don’t always know what to expect from them (unless you know their lineage). There’s vampires too if that’s your thing, elementals, and who knows what else going forward. I’m curious to learn more about ‘the order of magical resonance’, there’s definitely some mystery there too… Solid stuff on the whole.

I just… really love this series, and I’d love more people to give it a try too. My only warning is there is some gore, so if that’s an issue for you unfortunately you might have to give this one a pass. Otherwise, please give it a shot! It deserves attention.

[looooooooomis]

F I N A L  G I R L  |   T W O

You were his final girl. And there was no chance in hell that anyone or anything was going to mess that up.

p a r t  t w o  |  h a l l o w e e n   n i g h t

masterlist here

pairing: billy loomis x f!reader   word count: 4.3k   warnings: implied/referenced cheating, swearing (obv), drinking, implied smut, genuine S M U T, rough oral, thigh-riding, unprotected sex, all that fun stuff.

Billy couldn’t keep his eyes off you.

Not that he ever really could – and who could blame him, really – but tonight? Tonight, you were on a whole other level.

Stu’s house was packed to the brim with people, too fucking packed for Billy’s liking, but he’d make do. He might have wanted nothing more than to ditch the party, throw you over his shoulder, and have his way with you all night long but he couldn’t exactly do that. Not the first two, at least. But the second he could escape, he would, and he’d be damned if he wasn’t getting his hands on you tonight.

Maybe it was your little talk in the cornfield last night or maybe it was on account of that goddamn Halloween costume you were wearing but Billy was ready to have you all to himself. He needed to have you all to himself tonight.

It wasn’t as though he hadn’t seen you in your cheerleading uniform before, in fact, he’d seen you in it a thousand times prior to tonight but the way you wore it tonight made him harder than he could fathom. The skirt was hiked shorter than usual making you appear all the leggier in your white knee-high socks and tennis shoes and the though the top hadn’t changed all that drastically it, like the rest of you, was covered in fake blood. There were drops of crimson corn syrup, now long dried, dripping from those perfect lips of yours and continuing down your throat until bleeding into the material of your cropped cheerleading top. The sliver of skin showing your abdomen had a single bloodied handprint on it as well and your thighs, those gorgeous fucking thighs of yours, had a few more messy handprints that seemed to trail up your leg before disappearing beneath the hem of your skirt.

He was in agony watching you carry on laughing with Tatum from across the room. You had no right to look that fucking good tonight, not when Sidney was directly beside him idly talking to Randy about some stupid fucking test that he couldn’t bring himself to care about.

How could he focus on anything besides you tonight?

“Your girl’s looking hot tonight,” Stu chimed in quietly, smirking knowingly across the room towards where you and Tatum stood. “All that blood. All that leg.” He made a purring sound and grinned. “You going to be able to keep it in your pants until tonight?”

“Subtlety, dickmunch,” Billy growled. “Try it sometime.”

Throwing his hands up in mock surrender, Stu giggled and sprung across the room towards where you and Tatum were. Without missing a beat, Billy watched Stu throw Tatum over his shoulder, much to her chagrin, before running back to Billy, Sid, and Randy. Shooting Billy a wink, Stu mouthed a quick ‘you’re welcome’ before carefully plopping Tatum onto her feet. Sure enough, there you were, following the happy couple with a smile on your face as you joined them.

“Whole party just saw your girlfriend’s ass, numb nuts,” you laughed, playfully smacking Tatum’s ass. “Cute panties though, girl, take me next time. I’ll pick myself up a pair.”

Tatum grinned and cozied herself into Stu’s side. “Deal,” she chuckled, battling with the fake vampire teeth in her mouth. With a groan, she took them out and chucked them into the trash bin a few feet away. “Remind me again why I thought that would be a good idea.”

“So, you’re a vampire,” Randy mused, eyeing her all-black attire. “That checks out. You’ve got the personality down pat.”

Stu furled his brows as his girlfriend smacked Randy’s chest. “We’re both vampires, idiot, isn’t it obvious? I’m wearing a fucking cape.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Randy rolled his eyes and glanced around the circle of friends surrounding him. “The rest of you I got right off the bat. Sid’s a witch, Billy’s a moody looking skeleton boy and Y/N is a dead cheerleader.”

“Ah, ah, ah,” you clicked your tongue and pointed your beer bottle towards him in mock-outrage. “I’m not a dead cheerleader, Randy, I’m a demonic cheerleader. There’s a difference.”

“Oh, so you’re just a regular cheerleader, then.” Randy teased. When all he got was another smack to the chest, he surrendered. “Alright, alright. What’s the difference?”

“Well, for one,” you shrugged, “I’m not the victim. I’m the bad guy.”

“Bad guy, huh?” Billy piped in, watching you with that heavy stare of his. “What makes you so bad?”

“I eat boys,” you simply said, holding his purposeful gaze.

The corners of Billy’s lips raised in a small smirk at the innuendo but rather than let on, he simply ducked his head down and ran a hand through his hair. You were playing with fire tonight and it was obvious to him that you knew as much.

You’d definitely pay for that later on.

“Well, I think you look hot,” Sid smiled. “Blood and all.”

“Thanks, Sid,” you smacked on a smile and took a rather hasty gulp of beer. “You’re look like a babe tonight, too.”

“Thanks,” she flushed and looked down at her red dress. “It’s Tatum’s dress, I was scared it was going to be a little much on me.”

“Just enough,” you corrected with an honest smile. With your mouth suddenly dry and your guilt at an all-time high, you licked your lips and gave her a wink. “Billy’s a lucky guy.”

Leaning into Billy’s lean frame, Sid tilted her head up and placed a quick kiss to the side of his mouth. Averting your eyes immediately to the island between you and the doting couple, you tried not to let your discomfort show as you polished off the rest of your beer. That never got an easier to watch, no matter how much reassurance you got from Billy on the matter. At the end of the day, you were in love with Billy Loomis all the while being best friends with Sidney Prescott, his extraordinarily kind and sweet girlfriend. It was bound to be a tough pill to swallow.

From across the kitchen island, you caught Stu’s eye and for a brief moment, you saw a something eerily close to pity flicker across his face. Clearing your throat, you shook your empty bottle at the group and nodded towards the garage. “Anybody need a refill?”

“Yeah, sure,” Stu shrugged. “There’s a whole other keg in there actually. Be a dear and grab it?”

“A keg?” You snorted. “Who am I? The Hulk?”

Stu’s grin was cheeky as he nodded towards the garage. “Billy’ll help,” he simply said, squeezing Billy’s shoulder. “And hurry up, would you? Crowd’s getting thirsty.”

Rolling your eyes, you glanced at Billy briefly before nodding down the hall. “Come on, lover boy.” You teased, smiling apologetically at Sid who appeared none the wiser. “Be back in a sec.”

The hall leading down to the garage was crowded and full of your classmates dressed to the nines for Halloween. A few of the girls you were friends with smiled at you as you walked by, as did some of the guys, but the only thing you could focus on was the weight of Billy’s stare on your ass as you walked ahead of him. Sure, you mighthave been swinging your hips a little more than you should have been, but who could blame you? You were buzzed and Billy looked stupidly good tonight in his leather jacket and skeleton make-up. Even if said skeleton makeup was mostly gone from the amount of times he’d unwittingly rubbed at his face over the course of the night.

Pushing the door to the garage open, you held it open for Billy and shot him a brief smile as he walked into the chilly garage before closing the heavy door behind him. Walking down the steps towards the giant keg, you glanced over your shoulder and nearly laughed at the smouldering look he was giving you atop those steps. Turning around to face him fully, you gestured to the doorknob. “That thing have a lock on it?”

“Why?” He asked, leering. Slowly, he descended the steps towards you. Every step he took was agonizingly slower than the last but, being just as stubborn as he was, you remained firmly rooted in place with your own small smile in tow. “What would you have me do to you that would require a lock?”

“Who says you’d be doing anything?” You asked. “I’m the one who eats boys, remember?”

With a growl, he snaked his arms around your hips and pulled you into him. You could feel his budding erection through his jeans as he leaned down and nipped the base of your neck. The moan that escaped your lips on account of feeling his teeth dragging along your pulse point filled the empty garage and made Billy smile into the sensitive flesh. “Look at you in this fucking outfit. You’re a fucking tease, you know that?”

“Who’s teasing?” You asked. Reaching down, you gently squeezed him through his jeans and smirked when he swore under his breath. “I have every intention of following through.”

He kissed you hard and raked his fingernails up your bare thigh. The fake blood adorning your body might have been bone dry at this point in the night, but as he slid his hand beneath your skirt and rubbed his finger along the lace of your thong, a throaty laugh escaped his lips. You were so fucking wet. “Someone could come in here any second,” he whispered, pushing his finger beneath the material of your thong. The hiss that tore out of your throat sent him into a frenzy as he pinched your clit. “That get you wet, sweetheart? Knowing someone could walk in on us while I fuck you silly?”

“Billy,” you groaned, instinctually spreading your legs a little more to allow him full access to your slicked folds. “Lock the fucking door.”

“No,” he sucked at your bottom lip. “I want the whole fucking house to see us.”

Despite every rational part of your brain pleading with you to pull away from the infuriating man, you couldn’t. Not with how good he tasted on your lips and certainly not with his methodical fingers rubbing and pinching at your clit.

But two could play at that game.

Uncurling your fingernails from his shoulders, you got to work on his belt. Within seconds, it was gaping open as you fiddled with the button of his jeans and zipper before tugging them just far enough down his thigh for his cock to spring free. Biting down on his lip, you gave him a firm tug. “Lock. The. Fucking. Door. Loomis.”

You heard him laugh under his breath as he backed you into the keg. Once the back of your knees hit the coolness of the metal, you lost your footing and fell back against the piping along the top. The tap managed to hit you right on the tailbone, causing fireworks to explode behind your eyes, but with Billy’s deft hands still working your clit into a frenzy, you couldn’t bring yourself to care all that much. Stepping between your thighs, Billy’s hard cock danced across your wet folds as he tugged your underwear to the side. Your entire body was prepared to feel that familiar rush pure ecstasy that always followed that first, messy thrust. You were desperate for it in that moment, you craved it. But just as the tip teased its way down from your clit to your entrance, the garage door creaked open to reveal Stu’s handsome but mischievous face.

“Knew it,” he pretended to giggle as he quickly slid into the garage, being sure to shut it after to ensure nobody else saw the two of you. “Part of me thought ‘no way, they wouldn’t do it in my garage’ but the rest of me knew better. And, here you are.”

Swearing under his breath, Billy stepped away from you and ensured you were covered up entirely as he re-did his pants and belt. “You’re a real asshole, you know that?”

Between being caught up in the heated moment and feeling both shame and guilt for being caught, your cheeks must have been the colour of the devil himself as you ambled back onto your feet.

“Cock-block, asshole, the guy who just saved you from your girlfriend walking in on the two of you,” he casually waved it off, “I go by many names.”

“Shit,” you groaned, “how long were we gone for?”

“Not long,” Stu shrugged. “She just thought you two might need help seeing as how you were taking a few minutes.” He grinned. “Seems like you two kids had it all figured out, though.”

“Fuck-off for a second, would you?” Billy sighed and ensured Stu had turned around before looking back at you. Not wasting another second, he gently cradled your face and brushed something off of the tip of your nose. “White face paint,” he explained. Once he was sure it was gone, he leaned in and placed a sweet, chaste kiss to your lips. “Sorry about this.”

“Should have locked the door, Loomis,” you reminded him with a wink. Fixing your skirt, you walked back towards the steps and nodded towards the keg. “I’ll let you two carry that behemoth into the kitchen.”

Sliding past Stu, you opened the garage door and re-entered the crowded hallway. No one looked suspicious of you as you crept out and even when you re-joined Tatum and Sid – Randy having since left to tail some blonde chick in his algebra class – you simply smacked on a grin and asked them what you’d missed.

“Where’s Thing One and Thing Two?” Tatum asked, glancing over your shoulder.

“The keg’s a beast,” you simply said, “Stu showed up to help so I figured I’d leave it to them. Machismo bull-shit and all that.”

You hated how easy it was to lie to them. The guilt was still there, the guilt was always there, but over time the lying had become almost second nature to you. You could have a girl’s night with Sid, watch shitty movies all night long, and then proceed to fuck her boyfriend at two in the morning as she was sound asleep back home. It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair.

And yet as Billy and Stu moseyed into the kitchen with the keg in tow, the look Billy gave you was enough to silence the swell of guilt boiling to the surface of your gut. It wasn’t a smoulderingly sexy look, not even an irritated look from having been cock-blocked by his best friend. No, this look was something different. Something softer, gentler, than the Billy everybody else knew so well. This look was one he’d reserved just for you. It was same look you got when he was half-asleep at three in the morning, groggily smiling across at you as though you’d hung the moon. The same one that seemed to take you in and memorize you as though half-expecting you to disappear before his very eyes. It was a look of pure wonderment, pure sincerity.

“You girls want to play beer pong?” One of the guys from the hockey team asked as you, Tatum and Sid watched the pair struggle.

“Yes,” the answer was out of your mouth before you had time to register the request. Dragging Tatum and Sid towards the dining room table, you shot one final glance at Billy before focusing ahead.

You were going to slip-up if he kept looking at you like that.

»»-------------¤-------------««

You’d barely managed to scrape all of the fake blood off of your face when you heard the familiar thud of your bedroom window. You were still dressed in your bloodied cheer uniform and the bloodied handprints smearing up your thighs and along your abdomen were still ever-present as you popped your head out of your washroom only to find Billy casually sitting on the edge of your bed.

“Couldn’t have waited until after I showered?” You asked with a small frown. “I look like Carrie from the neck down.”

Smirking, he pushed himself off of your bed and sauntered over towards you. He had since cleaned the skeleton make-up off of his face and the leather jacket had long been shed, but he still looked handsome as ever grinning across at you.

“I was hoping I’d catch you before you changed,” he admitted.

You raised your eyebrow and leaned against the doorway. “And why’s that?”

He said nothing at first, simply just reached forward to scrape his thumbs against your nipples which were pressing firmly against the thin material of your top. “Just because it’s after midnight doesn’t mean Halloween has to be over,” he slid his hands beneath the hem of your shirt and tugged it over your head. In nothing more than your skirt and knee-high socks, Billy’s calloused hands began to squeeze your bare breasts all the while never breaking eye contact. “Figured the demonic cheerleader might want to get one last kill in for the night.”

You hummed your approval as he pinched at your nipples. “And you’re volunteering yourself?”

Billy smirked and leaned down towards your chest to allow his mouth to consume your nipple. His expert tongue swirled along the sensitive nub a few times before devouring it entirely. Sucking and pinching and biting at your breasts, you barely noticed him steer you towards your bed until the soft material of your blankets were bawled into tensed fists.

“Billy,” you moaned, eyeing him through half-lidded eyes as he teased your nipples. “Fuck. Get up.”

Not listening to you whatsoever, he continued his assault on your tits before you finally gave his cock a firm squeeze from outside of his jeans. “Billy,” you repeated. When his cloudy stare caught yours, you cocked your head to the side and pat the mattress. “Get on the bed.”

With a smirk, Billy released your nipple before clambering onto the edge of the bed. Hitching your skirt up your thighs, you climbed over his lap and straddled him. His hungry eyes swallowed you up as you leaned into his face, your hair fell around you like a blanket, shielding you both away from everything around you as you very slowly tugged his head up to place a kiss to his nose.

His hands were on you immediately. They skimmed down your arms and waist and hips before giving your ass a long, firm squeeze. “You’re fucking perfect.”

You smirked and lowered yourself further down onto his lap so your clit was overtop his jean-clad thigh. “Shut-up,” you teased, slowly sliding back and forth atop his strong thigh. “Kiss me.”

With a quiet laugh, he craned his neck up to capture your lips as you continued to rock back and forth on his thigh. He wasted no time in hiking your skirt further up your body to allow him better access to your bare ass to which he hungrily massaged and grabbed. Moaning into his mouth, you felt his one of his hands wander from your ass and up your waist before giving your naked breast another firm squeeze. His mouth hungrily enveloped your breast as you gently flung your head back. Between the sensation of his tongue on your nipple and the feel of your clit scraping against his strong, muscular thigh, you were in heaven.

But fair was fair. If he wanted to be your ‘last kill of the night’? The very least you could do was play along.

Throwing your head back in ecstasy as he gently bit and sucked at your pert nipple, you reached down and unbuckled his belt. Your movements were frenzied as you worked on undoing his jeans next, and when you finally managed to undo his zipper, you unlatched your tit from his mouth and began to shimmy down his legs.

Billy watched you settle between his legs, barely taking notice of the damp streak on his thigh as you peeled his jeans down his hips. His cock sprang to life for the second time that night and as he watched your hungry eyes scrape over his painfully hard erection, he could have come right there.

Your lips were puffy from your little make-out session, your cheeks flushed. And as your chest heaved with each shallow breath you took, your already perky nipples only hardened. Scraping your fingernails up his thighs, you wasted no time in licking your way up from the base of his cock to the tip, swirling your tongue around his head as your hand gently massaged his balls. With hungry, half-lidded eyes, Billy watched that pretty mouth of yours take him. Slowly at first, but soon you fell into an easy rhythm as you sucked him off. He threw his head back as his fingers curled around your hair and tugged. Fuck, you were so good. And if he wasn’t careful, he’d blow his load in your mouth before you two could finish what you started in that damn garage.

Giving your hair another tug, you released his cock with a resounding pop and furled your brow. “Problem?” You asked stubbornly.

Without a word, he leaned forward and captured your lips in a bruising kiss as he carefully pulled you back onto the bed. Only rather than join you, he took his position between your thighs and tugged your thong clear off, exposing your extremely wet, throbbing pussy.

“Billy, let me fi—”

Before you could so much as think of your next few words, Billy buried his face between your thighs.

A guttural moan tore out of your lips as his dept tongue circled your clit, and as he inserted two fingers inside of you, you bucked into his mouth and grabbed a fistful of his hair. Billy’s tongue was euphoric, methodical. He lapped and sucked at your clit as his free hand reached up to play with your exposed breasts, rolling your nipple between his fingers roughly. “Billy,” you rasped out, squeezing your eyes shut as that familiar heat began to encroach its way up your body. Curling his fingers inside of you, you nearly screamed. Thank god your parents weren’t home. “Billy, fuck.”

You were going to come. Any second now. You felt that mind-numbing pleasure build up in your toes and up your legs and as he gave your clit another long, glorious suck, you let it overtake you. Your entire body shook as you bucked into his mouth. Stars flashed behind your eyes as a strangled moan tore from your throat.

Releasing your clit, Bily kissed and licked his way up your body before leaning forward to capture your lips again. You could taste yourself on his lips as you leaned forward and as your eyes caught sight of his erection, you opened your thighs on instinct. Pulling away from his mouth, you nudged your nose against his to catch his eye and reached down to stroke his unbearably hard cock. “Fuck me, Billy.”

He seemed to search your eyes for a moment as you pulled him back onto the bed. Once he was laying down, you wasted no time in climbing on top of him. Reaching down, you guided the length of him inside of your wet folds and slithered it along your clit before lowering yourself onto him. He hissed at the sensation and squeezed your ass, watching your breasts bounce with every bound you took. Leaning forward, he caught one in his mouth and bit down on your nipple, relishing in the moan he received on account of it. He must have bit harder than intended as within seconds, he could taste a metallic fluid rolling onto his tongue. Blood. Your blood. Looking back up at you, unsure of your reaction, his cock twitched inside of you when all you did was groan and tug at his hair.

You liked it.

Swirling his tongue around your nipple, Billy’s hands held your hips as you swiveled and bounced on top of him. He was going to come soon, he knew he was, but when he watched you reach down and begin to stroke your clit as he was buried inside of you, that was it. Leaning forward, he found your lips again as he came undone inside of you. “Fuck,” he rasped out, holding you firmly in place as his cock writhed inside of you.

Feeling his cock twitch, you waited on his last few pumps before breaking your kiss. “Happy Halloween, Loomis.”

A slow, lazy grin tore across his lips. The pair of you were stark naked in the middle of your bedroom, he was literally still inside of you, and yet there you were. Both grinning stupidly down at each other as your words sunk in. Slowly, you slid off of him and joined him on the bed your naked chest heaving up and down as he reached out to brush a strand of hair from your face.

“You going to kick me out of your bed so that you can shower?” He asked quietly.

“No,” you shrugged. “Not yet.”

Billy blinked, mild surprise showing on his face. But, before another word could be said, he leaned in and gently kissed your lips. Unlike the kisses you two had shared in the heat of the moment, this was soft and deliberate. And, as he pulled away, he placed another kiss to the tip of your nose before relaxing into the sheets. “Good,” he mumbled, pulling a thin blanket up your naked bodies.

You smiled and relaxed into the warmth in his chest. You absolutely should be slinking off to the bathroom to shower all the fake blood off of you, but that could wait another few minutes. For now, against Billy’s chest, basking in the pale moon glow shining in through your bedroom window, this was the only place you wanted to be.

LET ME KNOW IF YALL LIKED IT + IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE BILLY IMAGINES IN THIS SERIES BC YA GIRL IS WILLING

[kusagrasskusa]

Gaara X Innocent! Reader - "Hellfire"

Gaara's age is bumped up to 16 in this btw, and the reader is 16 as well. This takes place the night Gaara kills that one Sound Ninja on the rooftop, during the chunin exams. Also, Gaara might be considered a Yandere, but I don't know (you'll see why lol) Lastly, when I talk about Gaara burning, I mean it metaphorically. Yes, this is 100% based off The Hunchback of Notre Dame

FYI! This story isn't very romantic so if you're a fan of slightly darker stories, go ahead snd read this I suppose. Plus Y/N is kinda a coward in this

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There he sat, on top of the rooftop late at night. Tomorrow would be the full moon, when Gaara's power would increase in perfect timing for another battle in the chunin exams. Competition is getting tough and examtakers are either extra aggressive with everyone or forming alliances. Not only that, but so many people are winning each challenge that too few people are being eliminated. That's all that's important and all that will be important until the Sand Village finally finishes off Konoha with the help of the Sound Village. But how, even with these much more important factors, is the only thing Gaara could think about is some normal pediatrician girl?

The moment he met her in the streets, a flame was set in his heart. He had been walking through Konoha after register for the exams and noticed a pretty young girl running through the streets, shouting for help. All she received was weird glances and eye rolls, however Gaara and his siblings caught on. Much to his sister and brother's surprise, Gaara had no problems hearing her pleas and then defending her. Someone had been following her; someone who her family had bad history with and from the looks of it, that person planned to hurt her.

He had no problems escorting her home and listening to her talk along the way. Her voice was so soft, her colorful kimono and flowers in her hair fitting for someone with an innocent and sweet personality. She seemed to be oblivious to the mysterious looks of Gaara and his siblings, or the way Gaara was so cold and silent. She payed no mind and spoke to him as id he was normal; like he was human. And it was that fact, her ignoring his dangerous aura, that lit that flame.

After since that day, that flame grew so strong. Every set of bright shades of the colors she wore on her clothes, every flower that she decorated herself with, every word or item that she mentioned in the little time she spoke to him, and everyone with E/C eyes would make him think of her. That sweet, kind, oblivious girl. It's like she cast a spell on him to make him slowly burn alive; that little flame she set it him would quickly grow into hellfire. His burning desires to see her again, to hold her, to love, traveled through his skin and veins. It didn't take long for Gaara to convince himself she did something cruel to him to use his demon, just like his father is using his demon to destroy Konoha in a few days.

Gaara was began to assume the girl was mocking him when she spoke to him so lightly; that he was no one to be afraid of. It was so insulting, but she was able to hide her cruel and disgraceful jeers under a sweet and loving facade and cute clothing. That has to be it, he thought. No one could ever like me, no one can love me, other than me. More and more of Gaara's thoughts were consumed, then all at once, by thoughts of her. She was like a demon dragging him to hell to torture forever. That beautiful girl with those lovely E/C eyes and pretty clothing was using him, he convinced himself. And someone like that deserved death.

That sweet, young girl had a name; Y/N. She was incapable of sleeping, as a terrible feeling in her stomach was keeping her awake. She pouted her lip and huffed, poking her stomach and whispering to herself, "I want that bad feeling to go away!" That feeling was pure anxiety and a hint of fear. These emotions were very uncommon for Y/N as she had always. Even a positive thinker with lots of love in her heart for even villains to an extent. She sighed, turning over in her bed on her back for sitting up, flipping her legs over her bedside. She stood up and put on a soft kimono over her pajamas and walked to the front door of her home, put on her sandels, and walked out. "Maybe a nice walk around the village will tire me out!"

"It's almost the full moon," Gaara said aloud. "My power will only grow stronger." He stood up, staring intensly at the moon as if it's the only thing keeping him from being devored by his hellish thoughts. His thoughts of how lovely it would be to destroy that girl who made his chest feel warm and his face heat up when she talked to him. That girl who made him feel the way he feels about himself, only a bit different. He had never felt romantic love to anyone, and for him to suddenly feel so strongly about someone instantly convinced him that she did something to him. Someone who would ever control him like would burn in hell before the hellfire consumes him first.

A rough, quiet and threatening voice erupted from behind the redhead. He paid no mind to anything that came out of the mouth of the Sound Village ninja rather just acknowledged that he wanted a fight. Without even realizing it, all that bloodlust built up through thinking of Y/N was released, ending in that Sound Village ninjas blood being spilled all over the roof top. It felt like a weight was taken off his back when he killed the ninja, but in the back of his head he knew it wasn't enough. Gaara didn't want that petty ninja, only that witch known as Y/N. Every passing second, that hellfire coursing through his veins were blazing out of control, weren't they?

"Maybe a nice walk around the village will tire me out!" Gaara's ears perked at that voice. That voice. Y/N's voice. Just like that, Gaara's need for blood grew strong again but this time, it felt different. He killed the Sound Village Ninja with aggression, but knowing he could kill Y/N now that he heard her close by made him feel an exciting kind of bloodlust. Those flames coursing through his body grew hotter every second, growing ever more desperate to get his hands on her.

"It's been a while since I've seen the garden at night come to think about. The moon is bright tonight so it's bound to be pretty sight!" That sweet, soft voice called out from the ground, below Gaara's feet. She walked the pathway it takes to find a nearby lake, where a nice little garden lays. A smile rose on Gaara's face; one of pure hate and excitement. His chest pained to greatly at the thought of her death, but that hellfire coursing through his body was telling him to hurt her. The front of his mind was screaming for him to kill her and use her blood as a piece of his deadly sand, but the back of his kind was whispering for him to comprehend how he feels about her first.

So he began to follow her. Gaara quietly walked from the rooftops, not daring to make a single sound. He continued to smile as he followed her, his smile growing the more he heard her talk to herself. Such a sweet girl with such a pure heart. It's a shame someone with Gaara's problems sees her as a witch because he loves her. As another 10 minutes go by, Y/N began walking into the woods and towards the lake. Gaara jumped to the ground without making a sound and followed her discreetly by hiding behind trees. He stopped when Y/N did. Y/N's eyes widened and sparkled at the amazing sight before her; the moon reflecting on the lake as beautiful flowers and trees accompanied toads on lilipads in the water. Pure bliss.

"Wow...It's incredible!" She laughed in awe. "My arms feel so weak at the sight," she spoke again as her smile widened. "I wish mom was here to see this!" Gaara hummed, looking over the scenery as well. It wasn't very interesting, but it was something he supposed. After all, Y/N loved it. Gaara looked around and saw no one nearby, meaning now would be a great time to react. He silently tip toed over to Y/N, using trees to cover himself. However, Y/N spotted him when she looked around the area in case there was anyone nearby (after all, she was being loud and who knows who lived in the area).

"Hmm? Hi, you there!" She said, waving her hand towards that silhouette behind that tree. Gaara'a face turned into one of the confusion, his "eyebrows" furrowing. Why isn't she scared of someone creeping up behind her in the woods? "Sorry if I'm bothering you! I just wanted to see what's it's like here at night. I can leave if you want," she said, swaying her body back and forth.

"...No, it's quite alright," Gaara replied as he stepped from behind the trees. He walked up the her, and instantly Y/N recognized him. She gasped, surprised.

"I remember you! You're the one that saved me! Thank you so much!" She giggled, clasping her hands together and bowing deeply. "My deepest thanks." Gaara paused, feeling his cheeks heat up a bit.

"My heart is pounding," he mumbled allowed, pressing his hand against his chest. "What have you done to me?" He asked, tilting his head to the side. Y/N stood up straight, giving him a questioning hum in return. Her face looked so innocent and sweet; it's all apart of that facade, isn't it? Gaara growled, roughly grabbing Y/N's shoulders and pulling her close. She jumped, gasping a little at the sudden action. "I said, what did you do to me? Where did this hellfire come from, you witch!" His voice went from his normal calm tone to a scream instantly.

Y/N's eyes widened and her body started to shiver a little. She furrowed her eyebrows together, stuttering out a reply. "I-I don't understand..." That answer wasn't good enough for Gaara as he had no problem throwing her to the ground and looming over her with a look of anger across his facial features. His fist was clenched so tight that his veins were showing. "I don't know what you're talking about!" Y/N yelled out fearfully, covering her face. Tears began to swell in her eyes and her voice became shakey.

Sand began to pour out from behind him and his heart ate picked up again. That flame in his heart was so strong and terrifying to Gaara that he was okay with killing the girl he fell in love with right then and now. His body was so scared that it wanted to kill her, but his heart was too scared to rid such a wonderful girl from the world forever. "Tell me, witch. What did... you do?" He asked again, staring at her so intensely that she could feel his eyes burning into her skin. She sniffed, now too scared to reply upon seeing that sand loom over her.

After a few moments, he screamed, "tell me!" Y/N chocked up on tears, taking a deep breath before replying.

"I don't know any magic or special jutsus, sir! I didn't do anything to you!" She cried out, slowly sitting up. "I'm sorry!" Gaara hissed, silent for a couple minutes. In that time, Gaara remained still as Y/N slowly began to stand up. In her mind, she was recalling words her mom once spoke to her about dangerous people. People are born innocent and harmless and only bad environments or situations can taint their purity. With that in mind, Y/N assumed that Gaara had problems that she couldn't understand. And with a heart as pure as her's, she had already forgave Gaara for scaring her and already felt sympathy for him. She slowly walked closer to him, the hairs on her neck standing up with anxiety, and put an arm on his shoulder.

That touch made him snatch back to reality. He slowly put his hand on top of her's; he was so confused and overwhelmed with opposing emotion and thought. "Then why? Why do you make me feel this way?" He asked in a low rough voice. Y/N began to wrap her arms around him and then hug him softly, shutting her eyes tightly. She managed to push her worried back as she found giving this sad, sad man affection was more important. Gaara felt his chest grow warm again and suddenly, she chuckled.

"I think your hellfire consumed me. I can't even find it in myself to kill you anymore, witch. I think I'm in love with you," he said, blinking away tears. He was so scared and his body pained to kill her, but he just couldn't. He was so overwhelmed with the pleasant feeling of Y/N arms being around him to ever lay a finger on her in anger. Instead he just hugged her back tightly, stuffing his face into the crook of her neck and sniffing. He was obviously holding back tears, which didn't work very well. Afterall, for the first time in forever, he felt like he could show a little bit of a soft side.

"You're gonna control me, aren't you? Use my feelings against me and bend me to your will? You're so cruel, even with the face of an angel." Y/N hummed, not understanding his comments. She just sighed, hugging him tighter and opening her eyes.

"Hey, Gaara, isn't it? Why don't we spend time out here tomorrow? I'd like to get to know you better."

Gaara grunted in response, closing his eyes and wiping his tears with on arm, keeping his other arm tightly around her smaller form. Yeah, whatever hellfire he feels has completely consumed him before he could stop it.

Lol sorry this written to bad!

[angelizs]

Hi hi its the curious anon again from the jade and azul ask !!,HEHR PLEASE DONT APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTHY,I love reading long posts so I enjoyed it very much and I loved reading it!!,you honestly had me going /YES YEA THIS/ the whole way through 😂 and if you wanna go off about their designs plea please do!! ��,

I dont have too many thoughts to share /myself/ however except maybe a silly one thats a lil shippy on how floyd would call is s/o their actual name and flipflop between the sea animal nickname and actual name cause of the theory that he usually calls those he respects/are close to their names n so on-

HII CURIOUS ANON, I'm glad you liked my lenghty thoughts on them! since you've given me the go ahead, I'll take up your offer and talk a bit about their Dorm Uniform designs! (I didn't include Azul's overblot or any other clothes to focus on these especific ones, but perhaps another time!)

oh, before I start, yes I agree with that! I believe you're refering to this post regarding Floyd's nicknames, and I agree with it! like he does with Azul and Jade, the people he's truly close with and respects he would call by their actual name, not one of his nicknames. although I'm very attached to shrimpy as I find it very cute and I'd kind of miss it if he dropped it altogether, so I like the idea of him varying between it and his S/O's name!

fun fact: I like to draw occasionally, so character design is something I have a lot of interest in!

now, let's get this started, yes?

I feel like my thoughts go along with the general consensus of their designs, but sometimes even the obvious should be stated, so I'll say everything in my mind!

AZUL

I have a confession to make. I'm easily attracted by anime characters with white hair. I KNOOOOW IT'S SUCH A COMMON TROPE AND I FALL FOR IT EVERYTIME, HOOK, LINE AND SINKER. so him having his gray-ish hair color is already a positive point in my books. differently from Ursula, his hair is not wild and free, but rather very well kept, tamed and wavy! (and difficult to draw, lmao. the notes in the 2020 visual book make a comment on how it's important to make an outline before drawing it, or else the right side can come out too big)

even with it's difficulty, I think the little strand that's just a tad longer and curls following his face, reminiscing of a tentacle, is just so charming, it's a nice little detail that makes all the difference! another thing you can't really see it's that he has AN UNDERCUT!! WHICH IS SO COOL!! I miss the time I used to have an undercut too.

the choice of giving him glasses but not the twins is a bit ironic, since octopi don't have much of a bad vision at all, meanwhile eels are almost blind. (I think they use contact lenses. just imagine Floyd forgetting his and he can't see anything and he's just. confused.) I think it's most likely to make him fit even more in the stereotypical "smart and cunning anime character" profile. it miiight have been a reference to the darker shade around Ursula's eyes, but I honestly doubt it. they do fit quite nicely, so I'm not complaining at all!

one thing I like about his eyebrows are how expressive they are, which brings Ursula's eyebrows to mind! they seem to have very similar expressions in that sense, as the drawing of him with a mean grin and arched eyebrows is reminiscent of Ursula's expression! his eyes aren't half lidded like hers tho, a difference that pops out very clearly if you compare both pics of them looking straight ahead while smiling. Ursula's seem more menacing, as if she's up to no good, while Azul's is more polite.

I loooove the mole near his mouth, mirroring Ursula's, it's so charming!! and I don't know if you've ever stared at his lips before but. look. they are very glossy and they SHINE, his mouth looks amazing, he might not pass on Ursula's birght red lipstick but he DEFINETLY has lip balm at least

now let's look at his drip. Octavinelle's dorm uniform makes an homage to the Sea Witch's elegant style, using a stylish combination of suits in more neutral tones, either in black and white or in shades of purple and gray, making a reference for her lavander skin tone and purple tentacles.

look I'm gonna be honest. I don't know what's up with the fedora. the iconic shell is a nice touch, but why must he wear a fedora? he could look professional and mature without it!! I am. not the biggest fan of hats. AND HIS HAIR LOOKS SO PRETTY WHY MUST HE HIDE IT

the bowtie I think it's a bit silly, but that might be because it's not common at all here where I live. I've only seen normal ties, so for me it might have looked better with one (not in this purple shade tho, maybe in a more muted tone of it. I do like the contrast of color against the white). I also don't see much what's the point of the grey scarf but it does help him look fancy, though the Octavinelle crest on it makes it look a bit like Harry Potter merch

as he's the housewarden, he gets a special long coat that does make him look a bit like a mafia boss, especially because he's not actually wearing it, only having it drapped over his shoulders. (or perhaps it's the bowtie. was that why it was there all along!?) and the white gloves? it's very snazzy and suspicious at the same time, but I can see the elegance of hiding your hands as if you're a victorian maiden hiding your ankles and shoulders to preserve your modesty.

the cane is SO COOL. I don't think he uses it for anything other than looking intimidating but's it's so cool. maybe it helped him to get used to walking with only two legs (adapting from eight to two must have been hard) when he started his first year and he's kept it. his shoes are pretty normal, expected even, BUT WHY ARE HIS SOCKS NEON PURPLE. I know it's to match his silly mafioso bow tie BUT WHY.

JADE

I'll start with things that will apply to Floyd as well, but I only want to say it once

Flotsam and Jetsam are... not the prettiest around. I'd say they are very far from it, even. Which only surprises me more that the twins look SO GOOD when they were based off of this??

as a reference to the moray eels, Ursula's beloved pets and minions, the twin's hair follow their color scheme, teal in it's majority with a dark gray stripe, and each have one yellow eye that helps to differentiate from which eel they were inspired by. their merman forms also make reference to them, as their tails are quite similar and they have fins and gills, which is not something the merman in the Little Mermaid used to have.

thankfully, for everyone's happiness, their physical similarities end there.

JADE TIME!! I have another confession to make: I also love character's with hair that has more than one color. I'M NOT TOO HARD TO PLEASE ALRIGHT!

Jade's hair is very unusual and at first glance might even look strange, a mix of color and shapes in an already complicated design. I think it plays along well with him, the little J shaped strand of hair hugs his face and calls attention to it, breaking the monotony from his otherwise short hair and balancing it's color out. the way his side bang is cut in such an angular and sharp way gives it such a nice shape, and I like how his hair is well kept and brushed! (differently from Azul's, his hair is a pleasure to draw, as I sometimes find myself doodling it at the corner of my books, absentmindedly)

THE SHAPE OF HIS EYEBROWS !!! they also feel quite angular and pointed, different from Floyd's, which compliment his eye shape very well. AND HIS EYES?? I could look into then all day. the way they are sharp and pass the feeling of his witty personality, they are angled upwards and give him an alluring sense, his upper lashes are fuller and give a cutting look to his eyes, the little eyebags (?) under them breaking the lightness of his skin and adding some color around them, even his eyelid fold helps to create such a charming gaze. I LOVE THE HETEROCHROMIA!! they aren't wildly constrasting, like I commonly see, but rather a duller tone of the other, which is how it usually happens in real life! such a polite look and by it's shape alone you can tell there's something behind it, something sharp enough to almost break the surface.

even his nose differs from Floyd's, as it feels a little softer and round ended, less curved and more of a straight line. I love these little spot the differences games, while they might seem like such minor details, they come along to create a bigger picture that differentiates the twins and each is their own person very well, not only with their body language but also by their appearence!!

OH AND HIS LIPS. I know I know it's the art style but still. the way his bottom lip is so full and shiny?? the way the corners of his mouth curl upwards just so. the carefully constructed politeness. how he rarely shows his teeth to keep the more harmless appearence, only letting them be seen if he's trying to intimidate someone or if he's actually happy. the dangers of his sharp teeth hiding like a shark under the waves !!!!!!

AND JADE'S EARRING! like on Floyd, it's such a dynamic little shape and gives them a bit of a more approachable look? and then you discover how they even got it in the first place LMAOOO. wait, let me give some context: on Usrula's spell, she says "Beluga Sevruga, Come winds of the Caspian Sea!" what does that mean? beluga is a variety of caviar (and of the more expensive ones), and it's harvested from the Sevruga sturgeon, native from the Caspian Sea. the story of how the twins got those earrings is that they won a fight against a sturgeon and kept the scales as a prize, so really even their cute little silly earrings are indicative of how dangerous they can be and how they like to flaunt that around LOL. in story they are also mentioned to be known as a good luck charm, due to being a popular ingredient in the Sea Witch's potions. it's such a nice reference! and it also implies the twins might have a bit of a supersticious side to them, which is so interesting.

the merman form is so cool too! as mentioned, I really like how they use more elements of moray eels and lets them have a more fish-like look. the stripes are elegant and a nice detail that brings these aspects from the eels, not to mention his body is literally luminiscent! like! he glows underwater!! how cool is that?? the fins in place of ears are cute, and the webbed hand makes a lot of sense! the tail adding lenght to them and making them twice their human size is a nice way of making them grow without distorting their proportions. (just why. why must he have abs. eel abs. it was a whole jumpscare the first time I saw them.)

I'm. gonna sound a bit hypocritical now. but! I think the hat looks nice on Jade. HEAR ME OUT! I'm still not the biggest fan of hats, but Jade's is not like Azul's, it has a wider, less square box like, shape, the shell is hidden as to not overdo with the details and leave it as a more discreet one, and the way it's drapped on his head, following his bangs and the linearity of his longer stripe, gives such a fluidity to the whole thing and manages to make him look suave!

also, one thing about him is how he's always prim and proper, tucked in neatly in any formal suit and showing his diligence. there's something about people who are always so covered up and formal looking. the profissionalism... the maturity... the sense he's above you... the clothes make the man...

ANYWAYS. I like that the shade of the regular uniform is a lavander that goes easy on the eyes (housewarden's neon purple, take notes), it gives a classy feel and goes along great with the general color scheme! I hope they are careful on laundry day to wash those separatedly from the white uniforms.

again with the little bow tie. the white manages to compliment his gloves and the pocket square very well, but it stills looks a bit silly to me. I'm sorry, but here where I live the only people I've seen using those are clowns, literally (look up Patati e Patatá. it's Jade and Floyd).

he thankfully doesn't show his socks, but his shoes have white details on them that I feel that kind of break the sleekness of the whole. I know it would be way too monocromatic otherwise, but I don't think it'd be necessarily a bad thing, especially since they have no problem in doing it with his other designs. with the ones he has on, it looks like he's about to start tap dancing at any minute.

still, Jade is slaying

FLOYD

as I've already discussed some of his design aspects in Jade's part, I'll go over only what I see as unique to him.

his hair is messier than Jade's, wilder and spikier, and it kind of looks like he doesn't brush it in the mornings, but that's part of his charm, this unkept look! the F shaped longer strand seems a bit fuller than Jade's as well.

his eyebrows are higher and less sharp than Jade's, angled downwards and following his eye shape that makes him look sleepy or bored more often, less atent than Jade, and exposes his double eyelid better. his eyes are more expressive, oftentimes curving in excitement or with his pupils contracting when angry.

the shape of his nose is pointy, sharper and slightly more curved. ONE THING I REALLY LIKE: his mouth. Floyd is always showing his emotions, and it's delightful to look at his jagged teeth as he smiles openly! even when he's not emoting so drastically you can still catch a glimpse of them!

the thing is that while they have their differences, the twins designs are very similar, as they really separate from each other in their personalities.

the hat also looks better on him than on Azul (sorry Azul, yours is a bit goofy and doesn't compliment your hair very well), and while it follows some of the reasons I've cited on Jade's, there's also something else. the hat helps to show his impulsive nature! how so? well, I think like this: the rest of the uniform he has to wear, there's no escaping it, but the hat? he can do wathever he wants with it. if he feels like putting it on, he does, if he doesn't feel like it, he can just not. it's not a crucial part like the shirt or the suit, so people won't get much on his case about it. in the card, he's taken it off, simply because he wanted to.

he's also more free than Jade's buttoned up look, as he quite literally doesn't button up many parts of it, his jacket is open, his collarbones are exposed, his silly clown bow tie is untied, his scarf is flowing in the wind. Floyd doesn't like to be restricted by tight fitting clothes and honestly I get him.

as much as Floyd is interested in shoe fashion, I don't like his shoes at all. in most of his cards actually. I don't know if it's because I know nothing about it and use an All Star for every occasion, but his shoes always look goofy because of his socks. ALWAYS. who lets him keep getting away with this??? someone please stop him he's comminting crimes against fashion with those socks. THE NEON PURPLE DOESN'T EVEN GOES WELL WITH THE SOFT LAVANDER OF HIS SHIRT. THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON FOR HIM HERE. not to mention he's also using the tap dancer shoes.

CONCLUSION

I really like Octavinelle's under the sea theme and how well their designs make callbacks for their counterparts, making nice references for such an iconic villain! all in all they are very elegant and pass a professional vibe that's characteristic of the dorm and it's students, leaving enough space for their own little quirks to shine through.

I love to take a look at them like this!! I might have a terrible fashion sense for myself, but when it comes to character design I suddenly become a critic lol. though I feel that the game manages very well to create interesting designs that calls to mind the original villain's and leave enough room for their own personalities to shine, catching your attention and staying easily on your memory! all the characters have unique little things that differentiate them and make even people that have never played the game recognize them!

that's it for their dorm uniforms and general designs, I hope you like it curious anon! thank you for once again indulging me on my rambles!

(I took the images from pinterest but they are from the 2020 visual book, which I found some translations for in their character fact sheets and here, or from the Little Mermaid's concept art book!)

[babybluebex]

everyone loves an outlaw [arvin russell x reader smut]

➽ pairing: mob!arvin russell x fem!reader(y/n) ➽ word count: 2.2k ➽ summary: arvin works for your dad and you have to keep your relationship a secret. ➽ warnings: NSFW/MDNI. smut, explicit language, age gap (reader is legal tho!), fingering (f!receiving), praise kink, breeding kink ➽ a/n: mob!arvin goes brrrr hehe​

In small towns, there weren’t many ways out. A job was the usual way-- graduate high school and get a job out of town and leave Coal Creek in your dust. Sometimes, though, the job search was fruitless and many people, young and old, were left to rot in West Virginia. That seemed to be the case for Arvin Russell. We went to high school together, him being a senior when I was a freshman, and I remember my father going on about him. “Gonna get him when he graduates,” Daddy said. “Not lettin’ somethin’ like him get outta here.” 

Legally speaking, my dad’s business was in bail bonds. We had family in Chicago that we worked for, and the line of work that my father did was less on the end of selling the bonds and more towards extracting the payments. Coal Creek had a few names for what my family did-- “mob”, “mafia” (which were technically two different things, but the people in Coal Creek had no hope of ever distinguishing the two)-- but we preferred to call it family. 

And, God almighty, Arvin Russell was in need of family. When he graduated, he had a bright future ahead of him, but that flame was put out when his little sister died. Lenora was a year ahead of me, quiet and reserved and very bookish, and it took the entire town by surprise when we heard that she had died. Rumors flew around as to why; she was sick and didn’t want to burden her family with her illness was a popular one. When Lenora died, Arvin lost his way. Wayward young men looking for protection and acceptance was my dad’s type when it came to employment. 

He had me do it. I usually was the one to go out and hire young men. Papa realized fairly quickly that men would do basically anything I asked of them, including signing themselves into our little family, so, one day in my senior year of high school, I went to the garage where Arvin Russell worked. He split his time between road construction and the garage and, when I met him properly, he had grease all over his hands. “Hi, Arv,” I said sweetly. 

His pink mouth had quirked into a smile. “Hey, doll,” he said. “You’re Y/N? From high school, ain’t ya? Ya daddy’s got that bail bond thing goin’?” 

“That’s me,” I said. “I, uh…” I had a script that I had to stick to. “I… I was just wonderin’ if ya wanted to get dinner sometime. Maybe go to a drive-in? That car you’ve got is pretty neat.” 

“You like my car?” Arvin asked, and I giggled out a yes. “Ya sure it’s the car ya like, doll?” 

“Not as much as the driver,” I said, biting my lip. ‘C’mon, Arv, this is takin’ a lot of courage to ask ya.” 

Arvin sat up from the rolling creeper he was at and wiped his hands on the thighs of his pants. “You really wanna go out with me?” he asked. His voice was dripping with absolute sarcasm, but his honey-colored eyes held something more hopeful. I knew, right then, that we got him. 

“Well, yeah,” I mumbled sheepishly, picking at a loose thread on my blouse. “I’ve kinda had my eye on you since… Forever, I guess. I-I just think you’re outta sight, Arvin.” 

Arvin’s eyes glanced over me, still wearing my clothes from school, and he gave me a smile, much more sincere than ever before. “Sure thing, doll,” he said softly. “What d’ya say to Friday night?” 

Friday night came, and it was quickly obvious that the movie would be forgotten. Instead of that, Arvin and I ended up in the backseat of his car, his hand up my shirt, making marks on my neck that my dad would be mad at. I never planned on fucking Arvin and, while I had no qualms about doing so, I stopped when his long fingers began to dance at my panties. “Arvie,” I panted, grabbing his wrist. “I ain’t ever done nothin’ like this before. I-I just--”

Arvin kissed me softly, his hand holding my cheek tenderly. “No sweat, doll,” he told me. “We’ll go as fast or slow as you want. I’m here for you.” 

I was supposed to break it off with him after that, but I just couldn’t. There was a bit of truth to what I said when I asked him out initially, that I had my eye on him for a while. I had always thought that Arvin was pretty cute, and I enjoyed the time I had with him. We had to sneak around, though, because my dad would have cast both of us out if he knew. While I was supposed to fluff up their egos and convince them to join the business, I wasn’t supposed to fool around with the guys my dad hired. Arvin was different, though, in a way that I couldn’t put my finger on. He was kinder, a gentler soul than most, hidden behind a gruff exterior. 

School was grueling, but the sight of the old Chevy waiting in the parking lot for me brought me comfort. Arvin stood near the door of the school, smoking a cigarette as he waited for me, and a smile passed his face when he saw me. 

“Arvin, you know damn well that you aren’t supposed to be here right now,” I hissed quickly. “My daddy’ll kill you.” 

“I reckon he’d have to catch me first,” Arvin chuckled. His smile promised illicit moments in the coming minutes, and he added, “It looks like it’s gonna rain and I was thinkin’ of offering you a ride. Wouldn’t want ya to walk and get all wet and melt.” 

“Why would I melt?” I asked. “I ain’t no witch.” 

“Nah, but you’re all made of sugar,” Arvin told me. “C’mon, babydoll. I know you want to. I might even buy you a milkshake if you’re good to me.” 

“Good to you?” I laughed. “Right, ‘cause that’s my goal in life, Arv, is to please you. Fuck off.” 

“Dolly’s got an attitude today,” Arvin drawled around his cigarette. His dark eyes were full of energy and promised nothing but fun, and the fact that he hadn’t given up his advances yet let me know that he saw right through my fake resistant measures. After all, he knew that I would give in no matter what, just as I always did. “Jesus, woman, you’re makin’ me work for it today, huh? This is fun for you, yeah?” 

“Oh, so much fun,” I assured him. “I love makin’ ya dance, Arvie.” 

“Shit, do I gotta get down on one knee?” Arvin laughed. “I was hoping that you’d be all graduated first but--” 

I tugged Arvin close by his worn leather belt and I silenced him with a kiss to his cheek. My pink lipstick left a mark on his skin, and I said, “We can talk ‘bout that later. Thanks for the ride, loverboy.” 

“Never a problem with you, doll,” Arvin told me. 

As usual, we ended up parked at the river, with Arvin’s hand up my skirt. My hips bucked up into his hand as his skilled fingers found home inside me, and a soft whimper fell from my lips. “Vinny,” I whispered quickly; that name was reserved for moments like this. “O-Oh, fuck!” 

“Such a good girl,” Arvin whispered in my ear, gently nipping at my earlobe. “S’fucking tight, doll. You really ain’t been lettin’ other guys fuck ya, huh?” 

“I only want you, Vinny,” I said. “Nobody makes me feel the way you do.” 

“Good girl,” Arvin told me, and my body went warm with the praise. Arvin had always been so good to me and I truly didn’t want anybody else. But I had always imagined getting out of Coal Creek, leaving my family behind and having a good and honest life. I wanted to get married; maybe to Arvin, but maybe to someone with no ties to my family. I was lovestruck, I’ll admit that much. I was so pathetically in love with Arvin that I had doodled his name during class, even going as far to put his last name with mine. Mrs. Y/N Russell was enticing. If Arvin were ever to propose, I would be compelled to say yes. 

“Vinny,” I said, and I grabbed his strong arms. “I-I’m gettin’ close, baby.” 

“You hold that shit in,” Arvin growled into my neck. “Want ya to come on my cock, babydoll.” His fingers fell from me quickly, and he made light work of undoing his belt and jeans. My thighs were quivering around his hips, and I sunk down onto his hard cock with a satisfied keenness in the back of my throat. Arvin’s moan in my ear was heavenly, and he mumbled, “Pussy’s so good, doll. Fuck.” 

“Fuck!” I squealed as he snapped his hips up into me. “Vinny, I-I--” 

Arvin’s mouth met mine in a greedy kiss, and I whimpered my way through a blissful orgasm. Arvin swallowed every single noise I made, his hands raking my blouse up to feel the skin of my back, and I felt myself shaking so hard in his grasp. “Good girl,” Arvin shushed me, kissing all over my face. “So good for me, babydoll. Gonna help me now?” 

Even though my legs felt like liquid and my hips ached, I rolled my hips down onto him. Arvin quickly got rid of my shirt fully and tugged my bra up my chest to expose my tits, my nipples hard at the feeling of him. His mouth latched into my tit quickly, and I pushed his curls off of his forehead as I watched him suck on my tit. Arvin looked up at me through his dark eyelashes and gave my nipple a quick bite with his front teeth, and I yipped. “Vinny!” I cried. 

“Aw, dolly,” Arvin cooed. “I only do it ‘cause I like the pretty little noises you make.” 

I chuckled breathlessly, and, with his lips back on my nipple, Arvin winked at me. “Arv,” I sighed. “Your cock is literally inside me right now. You can knock it off with the flirting.” 

“Can’t help it,” Arvin said, biting his bottom lip as he cupped his hands around my breasts. “Just an instinct.” 

“It’s a good thing I like it,” I whispered, and I leaned down to kiss him. His breath was hot against my mouth, and I clutched his hair as he continued to fuck into me, and I finally pleaded, “Vinny, please come. Want you to come inside me, Arvin, please.” 

Arvin took a fistful of my hair and tugged my head back to expose my neck, and he kissed all over the soft column of my throat as his thrusts became quick and sloppy. “Fuck,” he whispered and sucked a mark onto my neck, but I was too far gone to chastise him for it. Arvin huffed out a heavy breath then, and I felt him spilling himself inside of me, painting my walls with his hot cum. I gasped aloud at the feeling of it, and Arvin set a kiss to my lips to silence me. “Ya like that?” he whispered. “Like being fucked like this? My good girl, my best girl.” 

“Christ, Vin,” I whispered with a giggle. “I love you, you fuckin’ square.” 

“Hey, I’m not a square,” Arvin laughed. His arms were circled around me, holding me tightly, and his cock was still inside me as he laid his head on my chest and tried to catch his breath. “But I love you too, babydoll.” There was a quiet that blanketed the car then, the only sounds being our rasping breaths and the faint radio that we had left on before climbing into the backseat. Arvin was right; it had begun to rain. 

“Think it’ll take?” I asked softly. 

“What?” Arvin asked. His brown eyes were still blown out as he looked at me, and a smile split his face. “Oh, dolly. Is that why you wanted me to come inside ya?” 

I shrugged sheepishly, and I hid myself in his neck. Arvin laughed and readjusted us so that he was laying on his back, making sure to stay inside of me all the while. 

“You wanna have my babies?” Arvin chuckled. “Your daddy’ll kill us.” 

“I jus’ wanna be yours, Arvie,” I told him. “Want everyone to know I’m yours.” 

Arvin pulled my face from his neck and captured my chin between his thumb and forefinger. “No more hidin’?” he asked hopefully. 

I shook my head, and Arvin smiled. “No more hiding,” I agreed. 

Arvin gave a content sigh, and he kissed my mouth once more. “My pretty girl,” he whispered. “My pretty wife, maybe?” I nodded, and he laughed. “Shit, that sounds pretty nice. Having a pretty little wife to come home to, gettin’ all big with my baby… Jesus, I love the thought of that. But you ain’t even graduated yet, doll. Are ya sure…?”

“There’re girls who dropped out ‘cause they got married,” I told him. “I think the fact that I’m engaged and pregnant, and still manage to graduate won’t be a problem.” 

Arvin kissed my forehead, and he whispered, “Just a few more minutes, baby. Wanna make sure, ya know. Then, I’ll get you that milkshake I promised.” 

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "Echoes of the Past" from The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who most certainly won’t read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

What probably gets debated the most in the fandom is the legitimacy behind King being the King of Demons. Some believe that there's truth to his statement, while others, like me, like to think that he was just some stray Eda picked up off the streets. Either option seemed likely, especially since Season One never gave an answer that leaned one way or the other.

Then here comes the writers finally answering the question of who King is in episode THREE of Season Two! Because, again, they don't waste time on giving fans exactly what they want.

Fans wanted answers behind King, we got 'em, and analyzing what those answers mean requires going deep into spoilers. So if you haven't checked the episode out yet, I highly recommend that you do. Trust me, it's worth seeing.

Now let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Luz Experimenting with Spells: Hey, look! More proof that Luz isn't an idiot like some people flanderize her to be!

But, seriously though, this is a perfect little thread to introduce into the story. Luz collecting knowledge from Lilith's old books and past work she and Eda made adds to Luz's intelligence while also providing a believable explanation for how she gets new spells. It's also nice to see that she has this little notebook (or spellbook) to help see what works and what doesn't. It's a level of experimentation that proves her dedication to becoming a witch while also exemplifying how she isn't stupid. Occasionally reckless, sure, but you can't say that the person who figured out an invisibility spell through showing her work is also an idiot.

Francios with a Knife: How did Francois get a knife? I don't know. But the fact that a random knife plopped out behind him with little to no explanation is funny, and I will not hear otherwise.

I don't make the rules. I just abide by them.

Luz’s Invisibility Spell: I breezed past this, but I honestly love this invisibility spell. More specifically, I love that there's a limiter. It can turn you, objects, and people you're in contact with invisible, but only as long as you can hold your breath. It helps make the spell something the characters can't always rely on, which is appreciated. Because if it works as long as they concentrate, what's stopping them from sneaking into Belos' castle and assassinating him in his sleep? It's a smart way of explaining why they can't always rely on something, despite how insanely useful it is.

Luz: Let's gush about Luz some more, shall we!

"Echoes of the Past" is another episode that has Luz on top form. She is constantly supportive of King, even if Lilith has a point in the dangers of indulging his fantasy as a powerful tyrant. Doing so would cause more harm than good, especially when King finds out Luz doesn't believe him, but her going along with it was all done with the best of intentions. Luz doesn't want to hurt her friend, and even if she did in the long run, she still makes up for it by helping King learn more about his past.

And, as another reminder, Luz isn't stupid. She's the first to say they should leave when it's clear how dangerous the castle is and is quick to figure out there should be more at the top. Luz is a loyal and caring friend who's also guarded and intuitive when the situation calls for it. This episode understood that, so here's hoping other fans will too.

Lilith: Yeah, she's still growing on me.

I feel like this episode shows a better idea of Lilith's place in the group more than the past two. She's a person who's obsessed with knowledge and learning but considers herself above the jovial nature of King, Luz, and definitely Eda. Therefore, she acts as the perfect catalyst for what jumpstarts this week's adventure. It doesn't surprise me in the slightest that she almost instantly dismisses King's claims due to considering herself more knowledgeable than everyone else. Still, I like how she's willing to believe King once she finally sees evidence that seemingly proves he really was the King of Demons, to the point of referring to him as "her lord." Hooty does the same thing, but it comes across as him fearing for his own life and choosing to be friends with someone who could maybe kill him in an instant. For Lilith, her newfound respect comes from the desire to learn more, and it's that desire that makes Lilith an enjoyable character to me. It's adorable to see, and it has some comedic flavor in moments like when she dismisses everyone else and their emotional revelations to take pictures of the carvings around her. I'm sure she'll cause some controversy like other characters with rushed reformations, but for me, I'm more than ok with her addition to the main cast.

More of Lilith’s and Hooty’s Friendship: HOW DOES THIS WORK!?

ON PAPER, IT SEEMS LIKE IT WOULD BE A BAD IDEA, BUT IT F**KING WORKS!

HOW?!

WHAT BLACK MAGIC DID THESE WRITERS USE TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP SO UNEXPECTED COME ACROSS AS SO ENDEARING AND ADORABLE?!

And where can I get some for my stories...just asking.

But seriously: HOW?!

Hooty Making Himself Portable: Ah, yes. The classic bit where a character does something horrifically grotesque off-screen, and we have nothing but character reactions and sound effects to imagine what happened between shot A and shot B. It's an oldie, but given how hard I was laughing (mostly because of Luz's gagging), it's still a goodie.

Eda’s Portable Bathtub Boat Thing: I mean...I was expecting Eda would use something to catch up with the others, but...that thing...well...I mean, I'm still laughing just by thinking about it. That should tell you how well executed this joke was.

John Luke: ...I'm gonna go ahead and add him to the list because HOLY S**T was this guy disturbing! From his design to his movements to even the sounds he makes when moving, everything about John Luke screams as something that will stay in kids' nightmares for a while. Now, this might seem like a complaint, but to be honest, I'm more than alright with how creepy John Luke is. I highly doubt adult viewers will consider John Luke scary, but I guarantee he'll terrify some of the youngins that this series is aimed for. And that's fine. It's good to creep kids out a little bit with something somewhat scary, as it might introduce them to more good horror stories later in life.

Plus, the reveal that John Luke was only a guard for King is pretty solid narratively speaking. You can see how John never really meant to hurt King aside from one accident when Eda escaped with him. If you want to read into it, I guess it might be questionable to tell kids that something that looks dangerous is secretly nice, but that's really nitpicky, in my opinion. John Luke was a fantastic threat that is designed and animated well, with a solidly executed twist. Some might hate what he presents, most will fear him, but we can all agree on one thing: His theme is awesome (can I get the track for that, please)!

King’s Backstory: Finally, at long last, we know who King is, thus putting an end to a year-long debate. And I fully mean it when I say that the writers gave the best possible answer. Because in a way, everyone was right. Yes, King was just an animal that Eda decided to adopt, like the nature-loving hippie she is inside (She's got the hair for it). However, while he may not be the King of Demons himself, he is still the son of someone who deserves that title. So while he isn't the King, there's a chance he might be the Prince. Once again, there's no direct answer, but given how the writers came up with something that pleases everyone while still providing more questions for debate, it acts as a brilliant move, in my opinion. So whatever answer we get next, I'm sure it will be just as perfect.

Baby King:

My heart was not prepared for that level of cuteness!

King’s Breakdown: NOR WAS IT READY FOR THIS LEVEL OF SADNESS!

But in all seriousness, a HUGE round of applause to Alex Hirsch for his performance in this episode. He expertly captured the raw emotions of shock, anger, betrayal, and sadness that King must have felt when finding out that everything he believed he was is a lie. It's one of those moments where I don't hear a person voicing lines in a booth (or wherever the hell VAs are voicing characters nowadays), but instead hear a living person being emotionally torn apart. It was heartbreaking seeing King so vulnerable as he's so guarded with his emotions. Seeing him like this adds so much more layers to a character that many would mistake him as a cute, comedic animal sidekick. But just like with Luz, there's more to him than people will tell you.

“I don’t even know what’s real or fake anymore!”: I'm just pointing out this line because I believe it's what convinces Luz to help King learn more about who he is. Hell, not knowing what's real or fake is the main reason why Luz got sent away in the first place, so I feel like she can relate to King when he's in a similar predicament.

Hooty and Lilith vs John Luke: This was just a cool scene with some epic moments of dodging John Luke's attacks and some funny ones, like how Hooty said the word "pain." It's a ten out of ten that I would rewind to watch again.

King’s Other Horn: I'd question the logistics of how a horn that got broken off when he was a baby still manages to fit perfectly in the present...but it is neat symbolism of King accepting his past and letting it be a part of him, so who cares?

(The fact that the colors of the broken-off piece don't match the rest of the horn is nice attention to detail as well.)

WHAT I DISLIKED

It's a Little Too Predictable: I pretty much figured almost every little twist the episode offers. But, I'm willing to say that's because I'm in my twenties, and I've seen enough stories similar to this one, so I'm more likely to know what will happen. The little monsters watching this will see it for the first time, so they'll most likely get more surprised than me...And that was my only complaint about the episode...which is more of a personal problem than an actual issue...I guess that means it's perfect.

IN CONCLUSION

"Echoes of the Past" is an easy A+ in my book. It gives lore and backstory that furtherly develops the characters that episodes like this should. It also tells a tragic story about King that still sprinkles in a few good jokes every now and again to lighten up the mood. Sure, there are some nitpicks I could mention (how did King remember his own birth?). But when the good stuff is done so well, what's the point of dwelling on small, insignificant issues? This is still a phenomenal episode that flew past all expectations I had for it, and it continues the winning steak this season is having so far.

(But that's still three home runs in a row. Meaning that a stinker is coming. Ooiee, is it coming!)

[shypandawrites]

New girl (Twilight au Witch x Edward) Part 6 Last Part!

WARNING: Here is the last part I hope it is ok enough to reread!

Hope you enjoy it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Go on a date with me!” I couldn’t hide my shock even if I wanted to. Tilting my head confused, I peeked behind him to see everyone just staring at us, all but Bella, she was too busy nearly sitting on Edward’s lap with how close she was to him. She doesn’t need to show that they are dating. Anyone would know they are dating just by looking at them.

Edward’s expression was what confused me the most. Looking both hurt and betrayed. Asher got my attention again by walking past me and pulling me with him. “Come on!” He cheered, rushing to one of the cars in the driveway and getting in.

Taking the hint to get in, I slid into the car and buckled up as he started the car and started to drive away. He was quiet until we were a good distance from the house. “I’m sorry I had to kidnap you, but I wanted to talk with you more and you seemed to be in pain there.” He said, keeping his eyes on the road. “It’s ok. I was fine.”

He stopped at a red light and turned to face me. “Are you? I saw the way you looked like you were troubled about something. And I don’t get why he is trying to get with her.” The light turned green and he drove forward. Why wouldn’t he want to date Bella? She is pretty enough to get most guys’ attention. Unlike me.

I didn’t respond and stared ahead until he stopped at a restaurant and ushered me inside, asking for a corner table. We ordered our drinks and food when he started speaking again. “Again I’m sorry but I wanted to talk to you about something.” He started looking more nervous than I was used to.

“I’ll try my best to help.” I offered, as the server brought us our drinks. Taking a sip, I waited as he composed himself again. “I like someone but I don’t know how to talk to them and I want to tell them that I like them but I don’t know how they feel for me.” He finished in a panic, wringing his hands together on top of the table. “Well, when did you realize that you liked them?” I asked, taking another sip.

“When they kissed me.”

“Mmm!” Resisting almost spitting out my drink, I stared wide-eyed at him as he fidgeted again, avoiding my gaze. “Ok, and that made you like them?” His face turned red as he turned away before looking back at me. “No.” He began again, seeming more confident, “I started to like them, cause like you they wanted to get to know me for me and not for my family and the way they laugh is like music to my ears. They are also kind!” I started to grin, seeing him start to get excited. “And they have the most beautiful eyes! It’s like staring in the ocean, they are so blue. And their lips were soft.” He whispered at the end, slowly brushing his fingertips against his lips.

Aw, they sound nice, and I bet if Asher told them his feelings that they might just be the same as him. ‘Why don’t you tell them then?” As he opened his mouth to answer the waiter came and brought us our food.

We ate in silence for a moment before he sighed and put his food down. “Cause they are a guy.” He casually spoke, staring at his plate. Why does he look afraid? Does he think I will judge him for it?

“Ok.” I nodded, taking another bite of my hamburger, almost laughing when I saw how he just gawked at me. Is it that surprising? I don’t care about who people love as long as they care for each other and mean it then I’m fine with it.

He sighed, making me almost laugh again. I’m not going to judge you for liking a guy Asher, as long as he is nice to you I don’t see a problem with it. “You don’t mind?” He asked, after sitting in silence for a moment. “I don’t mind! But if he is just messing with you then I will have a problem. Other than that and if he does care about you then no I don’t.” I stated, reaching over and gently squeezing his hand.

That seemed to relax him more as he breathed a sigh of relief. “Glad you are my friend, Luna. My family knows I happen to like someone and I think the only ones who know about it are Edward and Alice. I think Jasper might have figured it out as well but-” He shrugged. “-I don’t think they would judge me for it. Just a little nervous to tell them.”

I rolled my eyes at him as I pulled my hand back to pick up my hamburger again. “You know your family, they aren’t going to judge you, they just might have you bring him over for them to meet him!” I squealed quietly, taking another bite, enjoying how red Asher turned.

The restaurant started to get busier, as we ate and talked about trying to get Asher to try to ask a guy out. We had just finished and paid our bill and walked outside to see him freeze. I went to ask what was wrong but he just pulled me away from the restaurant blushing again.

Intrigued I quickly looked around to see a medium-sized guy with dark hair, walking our way with a couple who were holding hands. “Is that him?” I whispered, trying not to laugh, which just got him to nod and try to pull me away faster but I had other plans.

Planting my feet in the ground and pulling him to a stop I turned and waved my arm at the guy and couple. “Hey!” They all turned to me, It was my turn to drag Asher over to them. “I don’t think we met in school. I’m Luna!” I waved, holding my hand out to the guy with Asher looking like he wanted the ground to swallow him up.

“Isaac.” He said, shaking my hand and glancing at Asher. “Nice to meet you. Isaac. And . . “ I paused, looking at the couple who were grinning as well, looking between Asher and Isaac. “I’m Julie and my husband Chris.” The woman greeted, shaking my hand as well. Her blonde hair was in a bun, with an overcoat covering her outfit. They must be siblings I thought, seeing they both had blue eyes.

The woman’s husband Chris, gave me a wave and wrapped his arm around Julie’s waist. “We will go get a seat at this restaurant while you guys seem to catch up.” He said, patting Isaac on the back as they walked around him. The door shut before he could protest but then we just stood there.

“Shall we go for a walk?” I suggested, looping my arm through both of theirs and pulling them down the street. “Hey! Wait!” Exclaimed Asher as I was pulling them both till we got to what seemed like a park. I spotted a bench and headed for it. “Your friend is quite pushy.” I heard Isaac comment, with a chuckle.

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t change her for anyone.”

“Except you.” I but in, jerking away when I felt that he was going to try to smack the back of my head. They laughed behind me as I turned to face them again. Seeing the way they looked at each other I grinned, as I knew they would make a good match.

Catching Asher’s eye I inclined to the bench and he shook his head at me. Chicken, I thought, walking over and grabbing them both by the wrists, and pulling them over to the bench. Silently pushing them to sit down.

“I’m gonna go get a drink, do you guys want anything?” When they both shook their heads I smiled and clapped my hand. “Ok then, talk everything out and it will all work out!” I announced, walking away with a grin and I found a little cafe and sat at the front.

Ordering a latte I sipped it slowly, so they had enough time to talk to each other. I say they should talk it out but I’m not willing to tell a certain mind reader how I feel. Mostly cause I know he doesn’t think that way with me, since he has Bella. Staring into my now empty cup I let my mind start to slowly daydream about how they look together. I can see them being happy together.

Why did I have to fall for him? He could have anyone, there is no way he would even glance my way. I wasn’t even pretty enough to be considered cute. The feel of a hand squeezing my heart came back but it didn’t go away. It squeezed harder with the thought of maybe I was never meant to be loved, never meant to be happy.

I’ll be fine as a friend.

The revelation of staying Edward’s friend eased the pain in my heart a little. Maybe being his friend is all that I am meant to be and that would be fine with that. With that resolve, I put some money down and headed back to the park to see Asher and Isaac coming my way and holding hands!

I’m glad it indeed worked out, running over to them I went to Asher’s side and lightly elbowed him. “Told you it would work out.” I winked, making him jokingly push me away. “Dork.” Isaac cleared his throat getting our attention. “Um, thank you for getting him to notice that I liked him.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck. They will be cute together. “You’re welcome. You both look like a cute couple by the way.” They both blushed, before looking at each other with a grin.

I stopped a few feet from the restaurant we left his sister and husband at, they walked a little bit more ahead of me. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Isaac grinned, giving Asher a peck and heading inside, not giving Asher time to respond.

That’s one way to surprise someone, walking over to Asher, who looked spaced out, I lightly poked his cheek. Now is not the time to space out, space cadet. Watching him, look around before a grin spread across his face, he turned and gave me a big hug. “Thank you!” He nearly screamed in my ear, I laughed, patting his back.

He put me back on my feet and we strolled around then headed for his car so he could drive home and I would walk home from there. We reached it as someone pulled up next to his car. It took us a moment to recognize Edward behind the wheel, he did not look happy to see us.

I glanced at Asher, who did the same, both wondering what could make him mad. Never seen him mad, he would look it but I think this is the first time I would have to say seeing him honestly looking mad as he got out of his car and marched over to us.

“Heading back?” His voice void of emotion as he asked, Asher, glanced at me again before nodding. “Yeah, so let’s go.” He went to place a hand on my back to guide me to his car but Edward grabbed my wrist and pulled me to his side. “I can take her home, I’m sure you are tired.” Asher looked at me again, to see if I was ok with going with him. As I went to nod, Edward let out a low growl.

Jerking to face him to see him eyeing the ground, still letting out a low growl. You need to learn to control your temper, it could get you hurt. I sighed, stepping in front of him and cupping his face to lift it to look at me. I was surprised when I was expecting him to glare at me for doing that but his eyes grew gentle when they met mine. What would someone as handsome as him be angry over? I took the opportunity to glance at Asher and nodded to his car, hoping he got the hint, before turning back to Edward, who had now wrapped his hands around my wrists.

Asher’s car roared to life and then it faded into the distance, all the while Edward and I continued to stare at each other. Not wanting to be weird, I let go of his face going to step back but he kept a soft grip on my wrists. “I need to talk to you.” He finally said, now looking at his hold on me.

Ok, Well, It might be a better idea to talk in a car rather than get rained on. I thought, knowing he could hear me, as I saw the clouds get darker no thanks to the setting sun. He chuckled, letting me go, and went over to the passenger side to open it for me. How very gentlemen of him. Walking over and sitting down, I buckled up as he zoomed around the car and got it.

It was silent as he turned on the car and started the drive to his house. “Edward.” I started as the silence was getting to me, If he doesn’t tell me then how can I help him. “What do you think of me and Bella?” He asked, focusing on the road.

Why would my answer matter?

“I would have to say you guys match each other well.” Much better than me. I watched as his fingers tightened on the wheel slightly. “And if I tell you that we aren’t together?” “Than I would call you a liar cause she was nearly hanging off of you with how close she was today. And you seem to spend a lot of time together with her.” He was quiet, probably contemplating what he could say to that.

Just as we rounded the corner it started to sprinkle. I smiled, closing my eyes and just listening to the rain hitting the car. It was relaxing to hear the rain, patter against window and car.

“We aren’t together.” I took a peek at him to see he was looking at me. Are you crazy? Watch the road. I pointed upfront making him seem to lose the hard edge he had. “It’s true, we aren’t but people think we are cause we hang out.” “And you don’t push her away,” I added, fiddling with my fingers as I stared straight.

A growl filled the empty air but I ignored it cause I knew I was right. Go ahead and growl all you want, you know I’m right. If you didn’t like her then you would have pushed her away, like you do me. Turning away, I saw a glimpse of his hurt expression in the reflection of the window, seeing that made me want to hug him. But that was a dumb idea, no one wants to be hugged by a witch.

The rain started to pick up as we drove in silence, thinking if I should just ask him to pull over so I can teleport home got him to speed up a little only to slow down again. You act like I’m precious cargo. “You are.” He mumbled to himself, I looked over to see an honest face but the only thing that went through my head was one thing.

Liar.

I saw that we were close to the turn that headed to his house. “Stop the car please.” He kept driving. “Stop the car Edward, please.” I pleaded, doing everything I can to not cry in front of him. He slowed to a stop after a moment. I didn’t even wait for it to come to a complete stop, I hopped out and headed for the trees, ignoring him calling my name.

Shortly after I started tracking through the forest to my home, a big gust of wind blew past me, and then Edward was right next to me again, holding an umbrella above my head. He looked worried for me.

Just stop it! I moaned in my head as I clenched it and kneeled down, trying to push away the hurt that was slowly building up in me again. Every time I tried to push it away it came back stronger. I thought I might go insane with how much it started to hurt and nothing I did could make it go away.

It was only when someone had hugged me close that I slowly got out of my head. Blinking away the tears I didn’t know had fallen, I looked up to see Edward with a pained expression. He hesitated before ditching the umbrella and hugging me close to him, guiding my head to nestle into his neck with a hand.

We sat there as I tried to calm down and come to terms that I would only be a friend. He moved his head to rest against mine, slowly breathing in and out. Burying my head into his neck, I wrapped my arms around him, grabbing hands full of his shirt and just breathing in tune with him. As he softly, brushed his fingers through my hair.

That calmed me down enough that I was able to let his shirt go and lean back, tilting my head up to look at him. “Sorry,” I whispered, knowing he could hear me. His serene smile, got my heart to spike up for a moment, staring into his eyes.

I would be fine just being his friend, being able to hang out with him was fine as long as I was able to be with him, I just had to hide what I felt for him. Just being there and watching him be with someone else and seeing them happy.

But I don’t want that.

My body moved before I could stop it, I reached up and cupped his face, before leaning in and pressing my lips against his softer, cooler ones. Hearing him gasp, I pressed closer to him. Burying my hand into his damp hair as I enjoyed the feel of our lips gliding together. It was only a moment and then I leaned back. Opening my eyes that I didn’t realize were closed.

I stared into his dazed eyes, knowing he could see my color-changing eyes. What I did suddenly came to mind and I was filled with dread. I wasn’t supposed to kiss him. Yanking myself out of Edward’s arms, I stood up, paying no attention to his hurt expression. “I’m sorry.” My voice barely a whisper.

Without a thought I made myself teleport to my front door, rushing in I shut the door and ran to my room. Quickly changing clothes for bed and trying to distract myself from thinking of what I did.

He probably hates me now, I shouldn’t have kissed him. He is with Bella. Idiot . . .Idiot . . . I chanted in my head as I laid on my bed, holding back the tears. Please let him not hate me. Trying to get out of my head I walked over to my desk and pulled out the sketchbook I had there and just started to draw anything that came to my mind. I got to two pages of just doodles and figures when there was a tap on my window.

At first, I didn’t hear but the second time I got up and inched towards my blinds, slowly lifting it up to see Edward, holding on to my window sill. I felt my eye bug out seeing him like that. “What are you doing?!” I softly yelled, not wanting to disturb my dad working. He just nodded to the lock I had on my window. This isn’t going to end well.

I unlocked the window and pushed it up enough that he could slip through, going to sit at my desk to continue to doodle more. Hearing my bed softly creak I knew he sat on it. “Can I help you?” I asked, refusing to turn around. “Just want to know your explanation.” Why does it matter? “There is nothing to explain.” Continuing to draw, I stopped after the last doodle and put it away, finally spinning on my chair to face him.

“I think there is.” He declared, getting off my bed to kneel right in front of me. Just drop it, Edward, I pleaded in my head knowing he could hear it. “No.” I sighed, looking away from him. The room grew colder with the window being open but I didn’t want to close it. Even when goosebumps rose on my skin, I refused to close it.

Feeling like I deserve the cold for kissing someone I wasn’t supposed to cause they are together with someone. “I am not with Bella. We aren’t dating.” He said, rising up and started to pace. “I don’t see her that way, to begin with.” He continued. “Then why didn’t you tell her to back off or stop it if you felt nothing?” I countered, looking at him pause, then going back to pacing my room. “I don’t know why I didn’t. Probably cause I can’t read her mind so she fascinated me.”

If someone you don’t like touches you then I’m sure you would tell them but with her you said nothing. “I know.” He groaned, running his hands through his hair before stopping in front of me again. “But even though I didn’t and I know I’m an idiot for it. I did tell her today that I didn’t see her that way.” Flicking my eyes to his then back at the ground, I nodded seeing that he wanted to say more.

“Yes her mind fascinated me but not as much as yours. Your mind somehow calms me like no other. Even when I got mad at Asher today, all you had to do was touch me or simply be around me and I calmed down. You are different.” Hearing the emotion in his voice was making my heart start to beat faster and fill with some hope.

I got up, taking the few steps till I was in front of him, and rested my head against his chest. He took that chance to hug me tight, dipping his head to rest on my shoulder. Ah, now you act like a big baby? I smiled a little, hugging him back only to hear him chuckle close to my ear. “Alice was right.” That got me looking up at him. “She said that we could squeeze you and we won’t hurt you.” I laugh, reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck. “Go ahead.”

He just stared for a moment then slowly hugged me closer. Go on I’ll be ok, promise. I know I won’t get hurt and I trust Edward. Continuing to smile he started to tighten his arms slowly until he was really squeezing me but even then, it didn’t hurt and it was fine.

“That’s new. Guess I don’t have to worry about hurting you then huh?” He smirked, leaning back, jerking me off the ground, and spinning. “Wow!” I tightened my arms, in shock, only for him to release my waist to carry me like a bride and keep spinning.

I didn’t realize we were both laughing until he stopped and stared at my door. My dad? I asked with a thought, he nodded as a knock came on my door. Edward put me down and went to sit on my bed as I answered my door. My dad was trying not to smirk as I opened the door. “Didn’t I say to keep your door open if you have visitors?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

A little too late to be a protective dad. “No, you didn’t, and sorry if we interrupted your work.” He waved off my comment and came into the room. “Sorry for the late introductions, I met your father and the others but I didn’t meet you. I’m Henry, Luna’s dad.” They shook hands, with Edward trying not to hide a smile. “Edward Cullen.” He introduced himself.

“Aw, your Edward Cullen.” My dad said, turning to wink at me. I placed my hand on my head and shook it. Leave it to him to try to play matchmaker. “Luna would not stop talking about you. It’s quite adorable really-” I ran forward and covered my dad’s mouth with my hand, blushing. “Oh, look at the time. Edward, don’t you need to be heading home now?”

He looked amused but agreed. No sooner did he leave through my door I turned to my father and hissed “Not another word or I will tell, Faith.” He froze under my hand and then playful glared. “Fine.” He muffled through my hand.

Escorting Edward out the door, I went to shut it but he stepped inside to whisper in my ear. “We will be talking tomorrow ok?” I hated how my heart sped up at that comment. “Ok, I don’t know why you want to but fine,” I said, glancing up to look into his eyes again. He grinned and walked back to his house as I shut the door.

I locked the door, and headed back to my room, ignoring my father’s knowing grin. Heading to bed, I made sure I shut the door and locked the window before going to bed.

The next day I barely made it past their front door when Asher grabbed my hand and ran back outside, I only caught a glimpse of a smiling Edward before I was running with Asher. “What happened?” I yelled, making him stop for a moment. He turned and started to check me over, looking for any injuries. He found none. I tried not to laugh to see him so concerned.

“I’m fine Asher. I didn’t get hurt.” I tried to ease his concerns. That seemed to calm him down and he backed off but then crossed his arms across his chest. “But did something happen?” The image of me kissing Edward flooded my head. I shook it to get that out of my head. Now is not the time for remembering this.

I remained quiet as I shook my head, looking away from him. “Really?” He asked, with a raised eyebrow. Looking elsewhere but him I gave him a nod, not wanting to give more away. “If you’re sure.” I could just picture him smirking as we turned back to walk to his home.

He was messaging on his phone as we walked back. “How is everything?” I grinned, letting out a laugh at seeing him turn to glare, rolling his eyes at me. “Good. Much better than I would have thought.” Good to know, they would be a cute couple. We headed up the stairs and sat down on the couch with the others smiling at us. Alice and Edward came over and sat on either side of us as we got to chatting about an upcoming dance.

“You should come to the dance.” He insisted for the tenth time, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I ducked under his arm and leaned back against the cushion on the couch. “No.” I don’t want to be seen, not being able to dance and get laughed at. The thought of people laughing at me when they see I can’t dance had me dipping my head in shame and embarrassment.

A cool hand was placed on my head, making me turn to see Edward giving me a gentle smile. “If you’re comfortable to go you should.” I shook my head. “I’m good unless you are saying you will go with me.” I joked, hitting him softly with my elbow. It was silent as we stared but then I laughed, realizing what I just said. “Kidding!” I laughed, waving off what I said.

My hair was in a ponytail and so for some reason, he pulled my hair out of it so it fell down past my shoulders. I looked at him confused reaching for my hair tie but he just moved his hand out of my reach. “Very funny Edward,” I comment, jumping up and reaching for it again. He was faster than me and was a step ahead of me in trying to get my hair tie back.

“Please.” I made my voice as pleading as possible, while holding my hand out to him.

While he hesitated, I took the moment to quickly teleport right in front of him and grabbed my hair tie before he could react. Victory is mine, I cheered in my head, pulling my hair back to put it in a ponytail again.

“You haven’t told us about you.” Freezing for a moment I looked at him beyond confused. “You know we are vampires but we still don’t know what you are.” He explained with a kind smile.

“Oh. I’m a witch.” Putting my hair in the ponytail, I heard Asher getting off the couch and walking over to me. “A witch?” I nodded, holding out my hand as blue smoke started to fall from my hand, making it disappear by blowing on my hand.

A few orbs of light started to appear and dance around the room, going away when I snapped my fingers. “See?” They looked amazed to see me do that. Have they not met a witch before? “No, we haven't. You are the first witch we have met.” Oh. That explains it but I shouldn’t be surprised that witches tend to hide with magic.

Asher hugged me from behind. “Can you tell me more? It’s cool to find a witch! Do you have to have a cauldron to do potions or can you just make them appear? Do witches hex people? Do they fly?” Bombarding me with questions I tried not to laugh as I thought of which ones I should answer.

He started to sway with me in his arms as he continued to keep asking the questions, by now I am trying to think of which ones to answer. Edward must have heard my thoughts of confusion cause he easily pulled me out of his arms and put me a distance away.

“Give her room.”

I thanked him in my head, relaxing in his cool embrace, only to step back when I heard the doorbell rang. I’m gonna bet that it is Bella. Gesturing for Asher to come with me as Edward went to answer the door, I sat on the couch to talk to Asher softly about some of the questions he was asking.

“Witches do have cauldrons and we can make potions but we don’t do that often, we can hex people but I haven’t heard of a witch who does it cause for us to hex someone we have to have an enormous amount of anger for that person. We can fly but some can use brooms to fly as well.” I said, softly to him as someone was laughing as they came up the stairs.

Seeing Bella I debated on asking Asher if he wanted to talk more in his room so we didn’t interrupt them. I opened my mouth to ask him but it was covered by a hand. “Don’t even think about it.” a voice whispered behind me. Are you sure you’re not a girl? I giggled, hearing Edward scoff at me but then removed his hand. Bella was waiting with a strained smile.

Ignoring the soft glares that were sent my way, Bella soon came over and sat between me and Edward, not that I minded she seemed to want him to only see her. Asher scooted moreover with me next to him. I saw he was going to ask more about witches but he stopped when he saw me shake my head.

Thankfully he got the hint and decided to talk about school or an interesting book. All while we talked, I would feel Bella ‘subtly’ bump me with her elbow a few times. Not wanting to get bumped again, I quickly hopped up from the couch and without looking at Edward or Bella, I sat down in one of the other chairs facing them. Not missing a beat to continue to talk with Asher.

“Did you finish that other book you were telling me about? The one with a girl who was betrayed but then built herself up?” I asked him, seeing from the corner of my eye that Bella was trying to scoot over more to Edward and he was gently pushing her back and shook his head.

“I did!” He remarked, his eyes starting to shine again. “I finished it a few days ago and if you want I can go get it for you to read it. It was such a good read.” I nodded and went to follow him but he waved me off and I sat back down as he went to the book.

As I waited for him, Alice sauntered over to sit on the arm part of the chair. “What did you and Asher do yesterday on your ‘date’?” She quoted ‘date’ with her fingers. “Nothing much, just went to eat at a restaurant and walk to the park and around,” I admitted not wanting to lie to her.

She tilted her head, glancing at Jasper who was in the corner. Seeing him shake his head I guess I must have passed something cause she grinned, turning back to me. “Was it fun?” “It was.” I smiled, ignoring the glare Bella was giving me cause Edward was staring at me as well. “The sky looked pretty when the sun was setting,” I added with a grin, remembering the colors of red, orange, and purple moving across the sky.

Asher had come back with the book and handed it to me, sitting down on the couch again, only this time Bella turned her attention from Edward to Asher. I felt my eyes narrow a little at her seeming to gush at him about how he looked. I saw how uncomfortable he was starting to be and the moment her hand went to touch him, it bumped into an invisible wall.

“What?” She reached again and hit the wall. I didn’t even notice that I had put a field around Asher, I just didn’t want him to get more uncomfortable because of Bella. She looked around confused. Alice tried not to laugh as well as Edward. Both of them must have known that I was the cause of the wall.

I glanced at Asher to see him relieved. I doubt she will bite you Asher but if you’re uncomfortable then you should at least tell the person. I was going to ask if he wanted to talk more in his room but his phone went off. He checked it and then headed for the front door with a smile while answering his phone.

It must be Issac! He did say something about seeing him today. It only took him a few minutes to come back in and go to his room. Must have been excited to go on a date. They look like a good couple, I thought, getting up to leave but Alice grabbed my hand and started to pull me.

“I have a dress I want to show you. Maybe you can try it on.” No-no-no. I started to silently panic, mind racing with multiple bad outcomes. She stopped at the top of the stairs and leaned in. “Come on, I’m sure you would want to show a certain someone the cute side of you.” I knew everyone but Bella could hear my heart speed up, feeling it start to pound in my ears.

Continuing to shake my head she huffed but then dragged my back down the steps only to stop in front of Edward and Bella. They both turned to face us, what was this about? Alice silently grabbed Edward's wrist and started to pull him with us outside.

“Hey!” Bella shouted, no doubt following us outside. By now I am beyond confused but it seemed Edward wasn’t as he had a small smile on his face. We made it to the forest when Bella grabbed Edward’s arm, trying to pull him to a stop. “Why are you leaving your girlfriend?” She asked, moving closer to him.

“Who?” Jasper’s voice said to the side of us. “You guys aren’t dating.” I tried to hide my smile at the glare she sent him. “Well, not yet.” She declared, pressing herself closer to Edward who carefully removed her grip from his arm.

As he got out of her grip he moved to where I was and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. Looking between them I just stood there as Bella turned to glare at me. “What’s so great about her?” Nothing really. I thought. As of now Alice and Jasper were gone and I caught Asher waving from behind Bella before he hopped in a car and drove off.

“Well?” She advanced on us and I went to step out of his hold but he just softly tightened his grip. If I had to guess, he probably didn’t want to let me go for now. “Very clever.” He whispered, low enough that only I would hear him.

This is something that they would need to talk about, he doesn’t need me here to make a point. Bella was starting to get impatient, “Edward, you need to make a choice either you date me or you don’t and I will tell everyone what you and your family are.” Her threat was met with growls.

She jumped at hearing the growls but still stood there determined. You shouldn’t make people date you, it will only make you hate yourself later on in life. If it means that their secret will be safe then . . .

Edward must have known where my thoughts were going cause he then tightened his arm around me and smiled at Bella. “Go ahead. Just know that we won’t be the only one at risk if you tell people.” He said, in a nonchalant way. I watched as her face went pale, “What do you mean?” Her voice quivered, seeming to almost piece together what that means.

“It means if you tell people about us. It won’t be us that you will need to worry about and I doubt you can outrun them.” Jasper hollered loud enough for us who don’t have super hearing to hear. Bella started to shake like a leaf in the wind. Taking mercy on her I got out from under Edward's arm and stood in front of her with a sad smile.

“It’s best you forget Bella.” I softly spoke, gently placing my hand on her head, easily erasing her memories of them and altering them so that she didn’t know about their secret.

When I felt that I had erased all of those memories I took a step back and snapped my fingers, her head that had dipped down jerked up, her eyes wide. “What happened?” She looked around confused, I simply grabbed her hand with a smile. “You were visiting the Cullens to give Edward his homework that he left at school, then you came outside and seemed to be a little dizzy. Are you feeling better?” I lied smoothly, making sure to look concerned.

Her eyes flicked from me to Edward and then back, “Is that true?” She asked him, looking like she didn’t believe me. “Yeah, it is. You gave me my homework then came outside. We were a little worried when you started to space out.” She blushed, waving her hands frantically. “Yeah, I’m fine! I’ll just be going, now bye!” She called, heading to her truck and driving away as we waved.

“Phew!”

“Clever thinking.”

I turned to face Edward to see he was already right in front of me. Resisting the blush that was trying to show with him being close to me. I smiled and moved to head inside but he picked me up again and started to walk into the forest.

“Don’t be out too late!” I heard Alice call out from somewhere before hearing laughter. Leaning more into Edward, I wrapped my arms around his shoulder and buried my head in his neck, enjoying the sway of his step as he walked. “Hold on.” He grinned, making me instantly tighten my hold on him as he ran.

The breeze felt nice against my skin but it didn’t last long cause he stopped when he reached the same meadow he took me to before. Here we go again. Just as he went to put me down with a chuckle, I pecked his cheek and hopped down, looking at the flowers I missed from before.

I sat down and when I saw the clouds were coming I laid down, liking how the cool breeze blew through the meadow. “You are a strange person.” “Says you mister girly.” I countered with a smile. Before I knew it he picked me off the ground and was holding me up in the air. “What?” I asked innocently as he put me back down.

“That is mean and you know it.” He smirked but I just rolled my eyes with a smile and rested my head on his chest. “But you know I don’t mean any harm.” I smiled, looking up at him only to see him staring at me as well. I tried to calm my heart back down but that blew away with the wind when he leaned down and kissed me.

I didn’t respond at first, in shock that he would want to kiss me, slowly my arms reach up and wrapped around his neck as I felt my eyes closed in bliss at the feel of his lips against mine. A shiver ran down my spine when he pulled me closer to him. The kiss remained gentle like we had all the time in the world. It only had to end cause I needed air.

Leaning back I peeked to see if he was ok with kissing me and then blushed to see him smiling at me. Good to know he doesn’t mind kissing me but I wonder . . .

“Would you like to date me?” I asked, my voice shaking a little cause of my nerves. “I was just about to ask you that.” he laughed, hugging me tighter. Good to hear. I rested my head against his chest, happy to know he wouldn’t mind being with me. He is mine now muahahaha I thought with a chuckle, he must have heard that cause he laughed.

“I’m glad I got to meet you and to fall in love with you.” He whispered, gently tilting my head up to once again, kiss me.

THE END

[kashimos-hajime]

dear... whoever | b.b.

summary: a mandated series of long and short diary entries from the new head of R&D for Stark Industries. 

WARNINGS: swearing, LOTS of fluff, mentions of drinking and sex and hospitals and guns, general fun and witty attitude, small angst, big jealousy, obviously au after civil war. everything after does not exist. pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader word count: 9.5k

a/n: written for @softbiker​ and 100% inspired by @sunmoonandbucky​ with the format. my prompt was let me love you by rita ora and i wrote it from the perspective the singer is singing it to rather than the actual singer. this was super fun to write. enjoy!

July 31/20

Dear…

Whoever is going to read this. So… me, in the future probably. So, it should be dear WHOMever, I think, but it sounds wrong.

Is it too cliché to say dear diary? I don’t know. After all, I don’t WANT to be writing this but unfortunately I am because it’s mandated. Apparently, the psychiatrist that works for Stark Industries thinks it’s necessary that I write down my feelings and show that I’ve adjusted to working part-time superhero, full-time head of Tony’s stupid R&D department.

Something about how that much stress can cause psychotic fractures in the worst case scenario.

Cute.

Anyway, I don’t know what to write. Currently, it’s 4:23AM. The only reason I’m awake is because I have trouble sleeping on the best night. I heard Barnes messing about and because I am the Hermit of the Rec Room Couch (catchy, I know), I can hear him just walking about.

What the hell is he even doing?

To be honest, I’ve never talked to Barnes besides the occasional greetings because he’s the sort to keep to himself, I guess, and, valid. I’m not saying it’s not, considering his history, but you know.

I think I’m a friendly person, and I’m bored. He’s eventually going to hear me writing noisily because of super-soldier hearing or whatever, so I might just get up and introduce myself.

Not that I’ve been working here for years, but whatever.

I’m really bored and hungry, honestly, so a trip to the kitchen would be considered normal (and warranted) in such circumstances.

Fuck it.

Time to make a new friend or die trying. If you never hear from me again, you’ll know why.

.

Aug. 1/20

Dear Jane,

I finally got the time to write in here and you may be wondering why I have named you. Well, after the conversation at roughly 4:30 AM, here are things that’ve changed in a disorganized list. None is more important than the other. I'm just writing what comes to my head.

One: Barnes said he doesn’t really let anyone call him James. I called him James once because I forgot. Profuse apologies followed. He said it was okay and didn’t mind me calling him that. Now, in my mind, I think he’s just saying this to be polite and really just wants me to call him Bucky but he seemed sincere. We’ll see how it goes.

Two: Barnes was awake because his cat woke him up. I didn’t even know he had a cat but it’s a gorgeous white cat named Alpine that Barnes carries around in his half-zipped up hoodies sometimes. It’s adorable. He’s super soft and friendly and I love him already. He showed me all the tricks Alpine could do. Amazing.

Three: Barnes’ favourite movie is the Godfather. Totally surprising there. Please tell me you understand sarcasm.

Four: He said he liked the name Jane when I told him what I was doing up and also in the rec room (couldn’t sleep, writing in my diary) and that I didn’t want to say “Dear diary”

“Why don’t you just give it a name?” he eloquently suggested and Jane was his answer to my question of “Which name?”

Five: Barnes, or James, I guess he is now, is my friend.

Six: We said we’d meet up at 4:30AM or earlier again because I told him I wanted to show him my s’mores dip recipe.

Seven: Wish me luck. Hope I don’t get murdered.

Eight: I think I might be in love with him.

Bye.

.

Aug. 5/20

Dear Jane,

In an effort to summarize what has happened in the past four days, I will open with the fact that James Buchana Barnes is the cutest motherfucker on the planet. He’s super old fashioned, but that’s a given. He opens the doors for me, offers to take my bags up, and in the past four days, we’ve met up at around midnight to just eat and chat. Then he walks me back to my room with a glass of water and I’m left fanning myself because it’s so sweet and he’s so sweet and OH, MY GOD, I am a child.

This feels like a crush. Like, butterflies in my stomach, self-conscious every time he looks at me, can’t stop staring, and wanting to impress him at every turn sort of crush.

AKA, a middle-school crush and I feel completely ridiculous but that is besides the point because he’s just the loveliest person.

Someone should tell him chivalry is dead. Steve thinks he’s just being sweet on me, and Sam says I should flash some ass just to get a rise out of him which would be funny. He’d look absolutely adorable blushing his head off.

We’ll see. I am considering it.

What else happened? I’m drawing a huge blank.

As explained in a previous entry, I was to show Barnes my s’mores dip recipe. Huge success. Crowd loved it. That’s how I learned he has a huge sweet tooth like me. Got an email from Pep about a board meeting which I ignored. If it’s really important, she’ll see me in person. Went swimming with Sam. We started planning Tony’s big Christmas party even though that’s MONTHS away.

But, you know. We’re so busy all the time, it might be worth it planning ahead.

As head of R&D, it’s vital to me that this goes well because they’re fun when they do go well, and a chaotic disaster when they don’t. Also, I have to find a date but details will follow.

I think that’s it.

If there’s more to follow, then I’ll just come back but there really isn’t.

Oh, Alpine found my room. He’s in here right now and he snores. It’s cute, just like his owner.

Okay, goodnight.

.

Aug. 7/20

Dear Jane,

Sam, James, and I went swimming.

Pro of the day: James is ripped and that man was GLISTENING.

Con of the day: I AM STUPID in front of hot ripped men.

Pro of the day: We got ice cream together. Strawberry for me, mango for James because he wants to try new flavours, and Sam ordered some monstrosity with vanilla ice cream, chocolate and raspberry syrups, and a bunch of banana slices. A swirl of whipped cream to finish it off. It looked like diabetes in a cup and that’s coming from me.

Con of the day: James used his thumb to wipe the ice cream off my lip and my brain short-circuited. Sam teased us about it, but James very stubbornly and convincingly said we’re just friends.

Con of the day x2: We are just friends and that is NOT going to change. I cannot explain how much my heart literally fell out of my body in disappointment.

God, and James and I are meeting up at 2AM tonight so he can show me this new stupid stuffed celerey recipe he learned.

It’s not stupid.

It’s really, REALLY cute he researched it.

This sucks.

.

Aug. 11/20

The worst day ever. I don’t want to talk about it but might as well make a note on it. More on it later, I guess.

.

Aug. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry, I’m dramatic. Must get it from working with Tony for so many years.

Let’s just review what occurred on August 11, 2020, at approximately 3:23 in the afternoon.

I learned that James went out on a date. A DATE. From SAM. When James had ample opportunity to tell me at our regular meeting at witching hour over celery sticks.

EXCUSE ME? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

I’m not even mad. I’m just angry that the man I became friends with only 2 weeks ago and caught feelings immediately for is seeing other people.

I sound like a raging bitch. I promise you, Jane, that I am not. I’m just the insanely jealous type.

No, I’m not.

God, what is happening to me and why does it have to be James.

I never get crushes and the instant I do, it’s for the most emotionally and physically unavailable person ON EARTH.

Also, work was work. I was distracted, drank soup from the canteen, and generally accomplished nothing. Alpine came for some snuggles while James was out. That’s the only good thing.

Thanks, universe.

.

Aug. 16/20

Dear Jane,

So, I brought up this mystery lady over homemade sundaes.

James seems pretty serious about her because he a) apologized for not telling because he wanted to keep it private and asked me not to tell anyone and b) has a second date with her later today.

Oh, GOD. There is no point to this.

.

Aug. 19/20

Dear Jane,

What’s the point of asking someone intimate, personal questions if not because you guys are best friends?

James called me his best friend today. He says he knows me, but if he did, he’d know I feel like throwing up whenever he’s around and that his stare burns through every layer of clothing until I feel like he just knows my secret.

I told him we’ve known each other less than a month, but he said something stupidly charming about “intuition” and feeling and that this feels right and how he knows he can tell me anything and that I was an easy person to talk to.

I should’ve been a shrink.

At least, my trip to Wakanda is going to give me distance. A solid two months of no one else but me, tech, and new faces. Going there to collaborate with Shuri is definitely exciting and taking up more space in my brain than James these days.

Maybe I’ll fall in love with some soldier over there because apparently, I’m catching feelings willy-nilly these days.

See you on the plane, Jane.

.

Aug. 23/20

Dear Jane,

On the quinjet, it’s fairly quiet. It’s one of the things I love about it. The silent yet soft engines that can lull me to sleep. We should be arriving in a few hours so I thought I’d write. I’m getting the hang of this, I think.

There's a press conference later, too, in the trip with the UN and it’s not that I can’t handle it, but that I could’ve done this in my sleep and wished Tony sent someone else. I hate the press, not gonna lie.

Anyway, this gives me time to be introspective.

Is it just me or James always Okay, is it just my imagination that whenever I try to get close to James, he just kinda pulls away? Not in a romantic way. I’m not stealing anyone’s man because girl code, but he won’t even let me just stand near him anymore. It’s like I have an infectious disease only transmitted through physical contact and it’s just weird.

I don’t know.

Before I left, he said he’d miss me and that we should keep in touch through calls (Obviously, I would) and that he hopes I won’t forget him.

So, you say those things but you won’t even let me even hug you?

You’re a manipulative asshole, Barnes.

.

Oct. 20/20

Dear Jane,

I am so sorry that it has taken so long for us to reunite.

In hindsight, I’m a fucking idiot.

I left you on the quinjet which went back to New York and a different quinjet came to pick me up. I came back like two days ago so these past few days have been spent searching for you.

James offered to help, and he seems normal again.

Weird. Guess he was just in a mood with the new girlfriend and adjusting to having me as a friend, too. Guys go through that, I guess.

In Wakanda, I did not, in fact, fall in love with a soldier or anything. I curse every day that I didn’t, trust me. I’m just as disappointed as you are because I just want to get over this stupid crush. For the two months I was gone, it was like I didn’t like James at all like that. Even during calls, I could pretend we were just two teammates keeping each other in the loop. He talked about his girlfriend, I listened, I explained science because he’s a nerd, and he asked questions like he was interested.

It was FINE.

Then, he was waiting for me when I came back to NYC and it slammed into me like Bruce in Hulk-mode.

James asked if I wanted to meet his girlfriend because she’d be coming around for the Halloween party anyway, and he thinks we’ll get along swimmingly.

He really said swimmingly. He is stuck in the wrong era, but we all knew that.

I said yes, to be polite.

Here’s to hoping she’s a vindictive bitch and I am justified in hating her entire being.

.

Oct. 22/20

Dear Jane,

I met her. She’s small and pretty and mature and normal.

If I wasn’t stupidly in my feelings about James, I’d love her, too. 

She’d treat him right, give him a good home to come back to.

Best not to notice the people fighting beside you in that way, I guess.

.

Oct. 25/20

Dear Jane,

God is dead and NO ONE has eyes on the road.

Jesus isn’t even taking the wheel on this one.

It’s a fucking disaster.

I do not want to describe in every little detail the intricacies of dreaming about James Buchanan Barnes fucking my brains out, so I won’t, but this is for the record that it happened and how the fuck am I supposed to come back and see him in his probably gorgeous attempt at his recreation of Brendan Fraser from the Mummy AKA my favourite movie (which HE KNOWS THAT IT IS?? GOD, the audacity.)

Girlfriend (his girlfriend. “Girlfriend” is the name which she shall be henceforth known as in these entries because petty wins are all I have right now) is dressing as Rachel Weisz. Because “couples goals” or whatever.

I wouldn’t know. Sam and I are dressed up as sexy salt and pepper shakers (his idea, not mine) and he made me take the salt stick because I think he knows. Steve’s not dressing up because he’s more focused on handing out candy as Captain America.

Tony is… Tony. Iron Man and all that.

Anyway, I’m out of town in DC for a meeting with the Secretary of State for a few days, but I’ll be back in New York on the 30th so I’ll have a few hours to adjust to being around James again before he dons on that outfit that I know will be totally hot.

He called me his best friend again in his latest email.

Made me smile like an idiot, but I digress.

.

Nov. 1/20

Dear Jane,

Halloween was killer. Sam and I won best duo for costumes because we’re that good. Ate a lot of candy and it seems to be looking up.

I dunno. I didn’t mind James and Girlfriend on the couch that much in the after-party. Mostly stuck by Nat and Sharon and Tony. An ood trio, but a fun one nonetheless.

It was fun, but I still have to go to work no matter how many jello shots and vodka gummy bears consumed.

Wish me luck, not that I need it.

Why do you think Tony hired me?

.

Nov. 4/20

Dear Jane.

Natasha said I smile at James in a way that utterly betrays every emotion I want to hide in my chest.

Note to self: Don’t smile at James, or at his jokes, or at anything he ever does again. Avoid him. Put a stopper on this friendship.

Note to note to self: I can’t. He just makes me smile whenever he’s around and he’s always around. There’s no simpler way to put it.

I’m gonna try this hiatus thing, though. Distance myself a bit. We’ll see how it goes.

.

Nov. 13/20

Dear Jane,

Day nine of this hiatus business and it sucks. I miss my best friend.

We’re scheduled for a mission together, and we’re leaving tomorrow so I was going to have to talk to him during the briefing and the op either way.

Well, glad to know this didn’t work.

.

Nov. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Guess who just got fucking shot!

ME!

Guess even scumbags can’t take a holiday because some stupid arms dealer got a cheap shot on me while I was downloading their whole computer system and other tech mumbo-jumbo I am too high to write about.

James left a few hours ago with the rest of the team, but not before he got me a bunch of ice chips and said he was worried and that he hopes I get better soon. He even promised to get me some flowers to spruce up the room and to say my HEART went CRAZY is an understatement.

He came to my rescue, essentially, as soon as he heard I got pinned. He carried me to the quinjet the instant he cleared the area and stayed by my side the whole time even though the bleeding stopped and I was in good hands. He was just so protective, barking at doctors and nurses. It was embarrassing but also really, really sweet.

Is it weird of me to say that I want him to stay by my side forever? 

I’ve never fallen in love before.

Is it always this fast and this hard? I feel like I’m crashing instead of gently and wonderfully falling. Everything is dumb and awful.

Is this what love is like? Because it hurts worse than getting shot because I think I’m going to vomit flowers or butterflies or something.

God, he’d never love me. We’re just friends and even though we have a lot in common, he’d never. It’s just too much of the past in the present or whatever.

Also, he has a girlfriend but it seems very surface-level. God, that makes me sound like a “one of the boys” type of girl who’s a bitch to one of the boy’s new girlfriends, but I don’t know. James told me they don’t really talk about the deep stuff like we do. But she makes him happy, I think.

In hindsight, one may ask what the deep stuff is.

More on that later. I’m tired.

God, why him?

I HATE THIS.

goodnight.

.

Nov. 16/20

Dear Jane,

James visited again today. He sat beside me and we talked until the nurses had to kick him out. He also brought the flowers.

I asked about Girlfriend casually. I said I liked her.

He said he did, too.

I don’t know why I think he’s lying. No, I do.

It’s because jealousy is the green-eyed bitch from highschool who still shows up in my life because she thinks she’s relevant to society.

That was mean. Unrequited love makes you mean. Side effect noted.

P.S. The deep stuff includes his past, his arm, his memory, his favourite colour. I dunno why that matters. It just does.

.

Nov. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Got out of the hospital today because of advanced technology and all that. Nothing’s left but a scar and residual soreness. James helped me to my room and said to call him if I had a problem.

I joked that he has a girlfriend and for some reason, he got really weird about it. It’s hard to describe. I dunno. Nat dropped by for popcorn and movies.

It’s 2:32AM. I’m wondering if he’s in the kitchen but I’m confined to bed rest so I don’t know. Also, Nat is asleep beside me and I don’t want to bother her.

Hopefully I can get up and move in a few days. Life is boring.

.

Nov. 24/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry we haven’t caught up in a moment. Work’s been hectic and I’ve been working overtime trying to make ends meet. Most days I’m in the office or lab, just trying to get enough things done so I can take time off come Christmas.

James stopped by tonight with Chinese takeout and some sweet buns.

He broke up with his girlfriend, too.

Guess that’s why he was being weird about it.

I tried being as casual as I could asking why, but he didn’t want to talk about it, so I asked why he came by. Couldn’t be for the company because when I’m in work mode, I just don’t talk and he knows that.

He said something about his arm feeling funny so I gave it a quick diagnostics check.

I think both of us knew his arm was feeling fine.

Everything is stupid, life is meaningless, and James’ lips are the prettiest shade of pink in the ugly lights of the lab.

I would very much like to have kissed him, but I didn’t.

Girl code.

It’ll probably be a while before I get another chance to actually have time and energy to write another diary entry. Christmas season’s coming close and Pepper is gonna need help with the party.

Yay, me.

.

Dec. 4/20

Dear Jane,

Morgan asked me in less eloquent words if I had a boyfriend (it was more like “You boyfriend?” But whatever. Who even taught her that word?) and I swear to GOD Nat could not make it anymore obvious looking at James.

Remind me to absolutely throttle her. I don’t care if she’s the infamous Black Widow. She has clearly never seen me hopped up on nothing but a negative amount of sleep and rage/embarrassment/spite/all of the above.

On another note, Pep asked if I was bringing a plus one for the party. I said I’d think about it. Normally I’d just take Sam but he has his eyes on someone at the VA and I like my friends getting laid so no go there.

Might just go alone. I don’t know.

Pep said I should take James, but I don’t really think she knows the truth about that situation. Luckily, Tony instantly rejected the idea and said he’d find me a date if I couldn’t.

Thank the universe for at least placing me in the close circle of the most well-known and richest man in the world because he also gave me his card and said go wild.

He knows me so well. I’m thinking about Christmas shopping when I have another free day, and I’ll pay for that with my own money, of course, but clothes shopping is a free market.

I cannot wait.

.

Dec. 12/20

Dear Jane,

I wish I could show you my haul, but I got so much stuff Happy had to drive to help me. Besides obvious gifts, I also managed to snag a gorgeous dress for the party.

Thoughts on black and gold?

I think it’s beautiful. Hopefully Nat and Sharon think so. We’re having a girls night tonight and showing off outfits, so that’s exciting.

James asked if we could meet up tonight.

I told him I had plans and he looked so downcast.

I dunno. Everything feels weird between us. Like we’re fine, we’re best friends still, but something’s changed when no one was looking. He’s single now. I guess that energy is different because I had gotten used to his energy with ex-Girlfriend.

I don’t exactly mind but it’s not ideal either. I miss summer. It’s much less complicated than winter. Winter, one has to worry about wind and chills and snows blocking roads, black ice, dry skin, freezing fingers.

Summer: there’s just a lot of sun, wind, bugs, and the vaguest notion of being bored.

Look, I love winter. It’s my favourite season. It’s quiet and gorgeous and dreamy, even though it gets dreary in New York. The snow falls slowly sometimes, Christmas is gorgeous here, and I’d rather be cold than sweating buckets, and there are no bugs to bother me. Also, it gives me a good reason to stay in the labs or in my room where it’s warm and toasty.

I just miss the relative simplicity when James and I were just strangers on the edge of being friends, which is, in retrospect, a selfish reason to like one season and hate another.

Well, some philosopher somewhere probably said something about humanity being selfish.

.

Dec. 16/20

Dear Jane,

T-minus nine days until the party.

No date in sight.

Maybe I’ll ask Anderson from HR. We had coffee together a few times and he’s nice. Good catch: smart, not too bad looking, and really nice. I’ll head down tomorrow and ask.

Alpine had purred when I told him my plan and headbutted my hand, so I guess I got the Alpine-Seal-of-Approval.

.

Dec. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Operation: Ask Anderson from HR to Tony’s Christmas Party failed. Granted, it could’ve been because that was a god awful title and that that name, in itself, prophesied catastrophic failure, but also because I was accosted by my best friend.

I wish I meant Sam.

Nope. James caught me in the elevator and we made small talk. Sounds fine, right? Then we turned the topic to the party. Talked about clothes and prospective celebrity appearances and drinks and food. Just about everything, so might as well turn to talks about dates, which meant I had to explain why I was in the elevator in the first place.

Going down to ask Anderson ended in James revealing that he didn’t have a date either.

He doesn’t know who Anderson is, which I thought would be the case, and he popped the question before the doors opened.

Notice how I said “didn't” have a date.

Guess who’s going to the party with James, clearly stated as friends, platonic soulmates, etc.?

Me.

Yippee.

.

Dec. 18/20

Dear Jane,

It’s 3:42AM and I’m in the rec room as usual. I was gonna not write here today but it normally helps me sleep to just write a bit, get what little thoughts are in my head out. Yeah.

I hear James in the kitchen talking to Alpine and it’s making me smile like an idiot.

Oh, shit, he knows I’m in here. He’s making milkshakes.

I am morally obligated by best friend duties to join him.

Goodnight, Jane.

.

Dec. 24/20

Dear Jane,

I’m not sleeping with James Buchanan Barnes tomorrow night.

This is a resolute promise. An early New Year’s resolution.

.

Dec. 25/20

Dear Jane,

Merry Christmas! 

In between jovial festivities, I’ve finally found a little nook that’s quiet enough to write in. We opened presents, had a big family breakfast, went skating and just lounged around, and frankly, I’m exhausted. Need to recharge the old social battery.

Among the assortment of gifts is one that stands out to me. James got me a gift that said “Open When Alone” and I did before I started this entry and it was a fucking necklace. Like, a gorgeous one. It’s gold and thin and it feels wonderful. There’s a little cat paw charm on it and it’s so pretty because he has a matching bracelet for himself and I have still not yet recovered.

It’s just so sweet and it reminds me why I love him.

Yes, love has made me unbelievably sappy. I just heaved the biggest sigh in history.

Unfortunately, I have to go earlier tonight. To the party, as written in previous entries. I remember my oath of one-night celibacy and I intend on keeping it, despite how fucking endearing this gift was, because he said it best: we’re just friends. I’m not about to coerce my best friend into sleeping with me out of a piteous, unrequited love. That’s just gross.

You will either see me hungover tomorrow, or very drunk later tonight. It’s all very depending on how this night turns out.

.

Dec. 26/20

Dear Jane,

Fuck.

P.S. He REALLY does not mind me calling him James. Take that as dirtily or as clandestinely as you wish.

.

Dec. 27/20

Dear Jane,

I spent the entire day in bed with very pleasurable company.

I am SO GLAD we haven’t gotten called in because James doesn’t leave unless to go to sleep in his own bed or to eat, and I do NOT want to explain to the team that James fucked my brains out for two days straight because my heart is bursting.

He’s a good kisser. His lips are soft.

Intimate knowledge of that is now burned into my memory for future reference.

God, this is a dream come true. He doesn’t even question it, he just

It’s like I’m a goddess to him. He treats me like one, at least, and it’s like he’ll do anything I ask. And we act like it’s normal, too. Midnight trips to the kitchen included.

Best Christmas ever.

.

Dec. 28/20

Dear Jane,

I feel like I’m ignoring you but I’m also having the best sex of my life. He’s just… so fucking good and it’s a holiday and holy shit my mind is blown.

Love at first meeting isn’t real.

Well, maybe this one time, it was destiny.

.

Dec. 29/20

Dear Jane,

It isn’t just the sex, you know? It’s the pillowtalk, too. He just makes me laugh so much and everything is so easy between us and it feels real. Popcorn and chips in bed, some mojitos, just each other’s presence. It’s enough like that, you know?

Some quote about how the one you love should be both your lover and your best friend is in my head but I’m too lazy to look it up. James’ head is in my lap and he’s just reading while I’m writing and everything seems perfect.

He doesn’t ask what I’m writing because he knows it’s private and I trust him.

This is perfect.

I think I really am IN love with him.

.

Jan. 1/21

You know that cliché/tradition of New Year’s kisses?

WELL THEN.

Best (and worst) New Year’s ever. I’ll explain more later. I’m too tired and too angry and also sore and bruised.

See you when I’m not hungover.

.

Jan. 5/21

Dear Jane,

I’m finally stable enough to write.

In a crazy turn of events, Barnes and I got into a fight because of what happened after New Year’s Day’s events: I caught him leaving before I woke up and at first, curious questions ensued, and it wasn’t a fight but then it became one and I don’t even know how it happened. I wasn’t even mad. He just started being weird and I got annoyed and we tried and failed to keep our voices down. Luckily, my room is pretty soundproof.

Things just got out of hand and I feel like tearing my hair out. I wanna storm up to him and just yell some more.

Tony came into my room and didn’t say shit about my hickies and the fact that James is avoiding me like the plague. He gave me a really good hug, though and then gave me a few weeks off extra. I don’t know how he knows, but then again, it’s Tony.

He just said love’s tough sometimes.

Yeah, tell me about it.

I’m thinking about just taking a long vacation and disappearing. It seems like a good route to take at this point.

.

Jan. 6/21

Dear Jane,

James is looking at me right now as I write this. I wonder if I should look back or if he’s going to come up to me. We’ll see.

I’m only writing this so it seems like I’m busy. I’m running out of things to say, honestly. Can he just go? What’s the point in staring like that? What’s the point?

I could ask myself the same question. What’s the point in loving someone who’ll never love you? Yeah, he’s sleeping with me but he pulls away every time I try to do something more. Outside the bubble of my room and the small time frame of post-11PM to around 4:45AM, he acts like he’s allergic to intimacy.

It was never like that with ex-Girlfriend.

Maybe it’s something to do with me.

I don’t know, but he keeps looking and I want to get up and leave, but I won’t. I’m not gonna let him win.

.

Jan. 6/21

He didn’t. He just went out. Sam and Steve asked if I was okay because as soon as he left, I got up for the bathroom and screamed into a towel.

I don’t think either of them knows what’s going on, but they have a notion.

.

Jan. 9/21

Dear Jane,

He apologized. Still no explanation as to why, but it feels weird.

I told him I’m going on a vacation to Switzerland. Go skiing or something and asked if he wanted to come.

It was stupid to ask, but he said yes.

Shit.

.

Jan. 14/21

Dear Jane,

Switzerland is lovely.

No work is relaxing. Awkwardness between me and the other traveller on this vacation. Weather’s supposed to be nice when we get there. Sunny snow days, pretty mountains, other Swiss things.

No other comment.

.

Jan. 21/21

Dear Jane,

I lasted all of a week.

Yep, I slept with him again, and yes, he was back in his hotel bed come sunrise.

I dunno. I’m over it. We don’t apologize and hope everything gets back to normal because neither of us want to say anything to ruin it any further and we both have a major fear of the complicated. To be fair, he said he didn’t want to sleep with me if I was completely against it.

Also, I tried calling him Bucky at dinner like ex-Girlfriend (and everyone else) does and he made the most disgusted face.

He said, and I quote, “Bucky? When did I stop being James?”

I told him I was trying something out and he said it failed. Snarky bastard.

I guess if he’s still James, that must mean I’m still special.

That’s the Tony-inherited ego talking.

But it does make me exceptionally happy to play with the idea that I’m special to him. Best friend with convoluted benefits. Sounds like the title of a very long-winded self-help book that doesn’t really help much but that does sound like the story of my life so I can’t complain too much.

We’re going home in a few days.

I’ll probably sleep with him again. Bet Steve’s shield that I do.

.

Jan. 24/21

Dear Jane,

I get three Steve’s shields because I was right every single fucking day.

He’s like a habit I can’t quite kick and don’t really want to.

We snuggled afterwards last night. His arm was around my shoulders, we were naked, I was resting my head on his chest. For a moment, it felt like something couples do and then I fell asleep and woke up alone.

Quantum physics is easier to understand than this but I think we’re being mutually exclusive right now, so it’s almost dating.

I dunno. I don’t mind it anymore. It’s better than nothing.

.

Feb. 2/21

Dear Jane,

I’m absolutely miserable.

I’m still getting laid, but that’s not related. Correlation and causation or something.

Why is New York so dreary and when can everything just stop?

I don’t know. Winter is ending and now it’s in that awful transition phase between seasons and it’s mucky and rainy and disgusting. Tony got these limited edition ice cream flavours though so I’m gonna ask James if we can make milkshakes out of them or something.

He doesn’t like the muck either. That’s not really relevant, I guess.

.

Feb. 14/21

Dear Jane,

I got flowers and chocolate from the department because I think they can sense I’ve been in a bad mood since forever. Then, there was an anonymous delivery and inside was this gorgeous chain bracelet that matches the necklace sort of. I lied and told the department it was from Pepper.

What a wretched holiday.

Yours truly.

.

Feb. 18/21

Dear Jane,

Normally, when boys get their haircut, they look ugly for a day or two after.

Not James.

He got his hair cut shorter and he looks really good. Like unbelievably good. Short hair fits him just as much as long hair does.

No other observations.

.

Feb. 25/21

Dear Jane,

It was Morgan’s birthday party today. James came in one of those brown jackets with the sheepskin wool inside and he looked so good. We mainly stayed apart to prevent any dalliance because one does not disappear from the Madame Secretary’s birthday party and the team doesn’t really know what’s happening behind the scenes except for Nat and Tony, really.

I really wanted to kiss him in front of our friends. I caught him staring a few times, and every time, the smile seemed to vanish off his face.

I’m lying in bed and it feels pretty empty.

It occurs to me that I’ve been in love for a pretty long time and I’m not even in a relationship with the guy.

Energy could’ve been devoted to so many other things and I’d hate being in love if it weren’t for the fact that it’s James.

Again, love making me sappy and all that.

.

Feb. 28/21

Dear Jane,

Jane is such a common name. Some would call it plain yet it means gift from God.

I wonder if James knew that.

.

Mar. 10/21

Dear Jane,

It’s James’ birthday. Birthday sex is a requirement and a desire. I also got him a gift which is a pair of new black Timbs. I hope he likes them. I’m excited for cake, I guess. Morgan did my makeup but I’m gonna have to wipe it off for the small little party tonight.

I think, ordinarily, I’d be in knots because it’s James’ birthday and I love him and he’s my best friend, but I just don’t know. March is fairly boring and contemplative and rainy. Work is work. Helen Cho did a presentation on her Cradle technology. Very cool.

.

Mar. 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s raining and doesn’t feel like spring. Alpine vomited on my bed a few days ago because he’s not feeling well. James and I took him to the vet and he’s on antibiotics. Poor boy. He’s sleeping in the corner of my room right now while James is away on a mission. I think I’ll just work from my room for a bit until he’s feeling better.

Nothing much to report, which is why I didn’t write anything. The month passed by too quickly. James should be back by the end of the month. I miss him and not because of the sex. No one else who doesn’t work for me or pays me listens to me ramble on their own free will. Talking to screens just isn’t the same.

.

April 1/21

James got back really early this morning and I, by tradition, was awake. I sort of wish I wasn’t though. In true April Fool’s tradition, I made fun of him for being a day late to which he genuinely apologized. I told him to shower and get to sleep but he was in that mood where you’re so exhausted you’re wide awake.

James suggested we make really strong cocktails for each other as a celebration for an extraction mission completed successfully.

Who am I to say no to celebrating?

He really likes grapefruit juice so I made a REALLY strong Grapefruit Paloma. He made this really interesting drink that was purple and tasted like oranges and cranberries. A lot of blue curacao was in it so it was pretty bitter but it hit like a fucking truck which is probably why I didn’t understand anything he said at first.

He told me he loved me.

I think, somehow, he managed to get drunk after the Grapefruit Paloma and two more bottles of vodka. Don’t ask me how because Steve NEVER gets drunk. Maybe HYDRA-brand serum is faulty? I don’t know.

I asked if he knew what date it was. He laughed really loudly, said no, realized, stuttered apologies and then said it again.

It was the most perfect sound in the world and it was the best moment in recent history.

Or, the sickest practical joke.

Consensus not yet reached.

.

April 2/21

Dear Jane,

I asked if he remembered what happened yesterday morning.

He did not.

Sickest practical joke confirmed.

.

April 9/21

Dear Jane,

I’ve been avoiding writing because I’ve felt a whole lot of nothing. Everything is abysmal and James’ confession is all I can think about. Tony’s on my ass about slipping and he has half the mind to put me on paid leave until I get my shit together, both as the head of the department and as an agent.

Drunk words are sober thoughts, all that garbage.

I wish I could live my whole life drunk and honest. Maybe then I wouldn’t be in this situation where I’m stuck in eternal limbo with my best friend whom I’m in love with. Minus the drunk part.

Duty demands I return to this weathered journal until it’s finished so we’ll see. I might be back this month. Maybe not.

.

May 1/21

Dear Jane,

It rained a lot in April so now the flowers are blooming early. April showers bring May flowers. Guess it has some merit to it.

Limbo sucks. Its inescapable nature, its terrible facade of everything seeming fine when it really isn’t.

Of course, James still makes me smile, but nothing seems really okay when I let myself stop for a second.

I’m going out with Steve to a charity thing tomorrow. Should be a few hours worth of not thinking and free booze. Oh, and James and I made out in one of the quinjets after dinner today.

Felt weird considering we aren’t a couple, but it happened spontaneously as that is the nature of our relationship, it appears.

The cause also happens to be the cure of melancholy. Weird.

.

May 6/21

Dear Jane,

For context, it’s 5:23AM.

Went for a walk in Madison Square and then Central Park with James yesterday, although in my head it’s still today. We met up with Nat for some training at the gym. Got a bit mobbed by fans and the paps who asked if we were dating like we’re the tabloid’s biggest scoop.

We weren’t even holding hands, but I guess it’s just another reason why we shouldn’t be TOGETHER together in public.

We had another deep stuff talk again in bed after the usual business. I wanted to ask what this is between us and if he’s pursuing other options, because I’m not and I wanted to know if I should, but I also didn’t want to ruin the vibe.

He was in a good mood today, and seeing as sometimes he has nightmares, I thought it was best I don’t ruin it. He thinks I don’t notice but how do I not notice? He’s my best friend.

I kissed his cheek when he got up to leave and he kissed me goodbye on the lips.

I guess that means something.

.

May 17/21

Dear Jane,

In a moment of complete boredom, I listened to Imagine Dragons’ new album. It wasn’t too bad, to be honest, but Sharon thought it could’ve been better. Whatever.

.

May 22/21

Dear Jane,

Ran into ex-Girlfriend today. She still has that whole sunshine thing going on still. We had coffee and she asked if I got together with James yet.

I choked on my coffee and nearly died on the spot.

That’s how I learned that James apparently broke it off softly and ex-Girlfriend had, very wisely and knowingly, said that he should chase the apple of his eye before I (the apple) rotted alone and forgotten at the trunk of the tree. Or, as any sane person would say (and ex-Girlfriend DID say), get picked from the tree by another hand.

She said it was quite obvious that I was in love with James even months ago. She also thanked me for being so nice, anyway, and that it must’ve been difficult. What a fucking SAINT.

I set her up with a date with Steve because they have the same energy, honestly, and that’s going down on the 26th barring any emergencies.

Call me Cupid, but I think I just constructed the perfect match made in heaven.

Mentioned this meeting to James minus the apple detail. He asked if she was doing okay, which she was, and seemed glad for that. Between kisses and his sneaking hand beneath the covers, he also asked if there was anything else. Not really much to say on that front.

.

June 3/21

Dear Jane,

It’s starting to dry up consistently, now. It’s getting warmer, too. Sam brought me flowers and told me to at least turn the air-con on if I was gonna be stuck in the lab all day. Oh, the simplicities of summer are hopefully returning. Got out early and hung out with Morgan at the park in the evening.

It’s nice to hang out with someone so blissfully unaware with the stupidity of love. All Morgan cares about is grass and buttercups she grabs from the ground. She doesn’t have to worry about how to tell the guy she’s in love with that she loves him.

Oh, didn’t you hear? Nat said I should just buck the fuck up and tell him.

And Nat is scary when not listened to.

Much to brainstorm about.

.

June 14/21

Dear Jane,

Just here to brainstorm some ideas for future Stark Industries projects and thought I’d preface it with a small diary entry. Nothing really happened. Work’s catching up for some reason and bad guys are acting up. I’ve pulled a few all nighters, not gonna lie.

Really tired, but in a good, productive way. Haven’t thought much on the James front. Gonna have to focus on that after everything calms down.

.

June 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s officially summer and yet today was awful with only subtle hints of being okay.

So much for simplicity.

In the evening, I read on the hammock on the balcony. No one really bothered me except James, but he’s never a bother.

Steve and ex-Girlfriend (who will now be reidentified as Girlfriend) are pretty cute, and she meshes well with the group. There’s nothing really awkward between her, James, or me, so I guess two people’s summers are going well. Bully for them.

Didn’t really eat. Was too busy working. James got me dinner. Didn’t feel right and just kept working. This whole agreement between us has been very flexible but we really need to fit in a session soon.

I’ll make it work somehow.

.

June 22/21

Dear Jane,

I got my wish and didn’t at the same time. We spent the whole day in the sheets (very blissfully relaxing) and I, stupidly and with very little sleep, let it slip.

In less elegant terms, I told him I loved him. It felt very real and genuine and very-out-of-a-movie, but his reaction was less so.

What did I say? Allergic to intimacy.

He tried to play it off as best friends and even that was uncomfortable, but I, very seriously and very foolishly, corrected him that “no, James Buchanan Barnes, I am IN LOVE with you.”

He left a few minutes ago, saying something about heading down to the gym, but I know he’s just trying to avoid me.

God, how am I so stupid?

.

June 25/21

Dear Jane,

I haven’t seen James in a few days. I thought he was avoiding me but turns out he’s out of the country. Something about protection for whatever dignitary is travelling at the end of the month. I don’t know.

I wasn’t assigned to that op so the details weren’t shared liberally. Sam just said it’d be a while during the ambassador’s entire stay. High threat level which is why the Avengers were contracted.

I just hope he stays safe. I know he probably took off to take his mind off things, but I don’t know how he’s focusing when all I can think of is those three little words.

I love you.

Seems so fake the more I hear it in my head, but his reaction was so real that I think I might’ve just irreversibly messed things up.

.

July 12/21

Dear Jane,

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks. If future me finds this with blotted words, it’s because I am indeed crying while writing this.

James was medically evac’ed last night and transferred back to New York. Helen Cho was flown in from her medical conference in Minnesota where she was showcasing the newest version of the Cradle.

There was an assasination attempt and James is fucked up bad.

Holy shit, I’m so scared. I’ve never been so scared in my life. It’s like an invisible demon has my heart in his claw-like hands and he’s squeezing with all his might. I think my heart might explode.

I just want to hold his hand but he’s so high risk no one’s allowed to see him right now.

The waiting room is too quiet. Steve’s holding on to Girlfriend’s hand so hard I think her bones are broken but she’s taking it like a champ. Nat’s pacing, slowly patting a sleeping Morgan who she’s carrying. Sam and Tony are talking about stuff.

It’s too quiet.

I’m so scared.

.

July 13/21

They got him into the Cradle. Thank God. I think I might cry some more out of relief, but he was conscious for a few minutes earlier and he’s stable now.

It’s really late at night but they extended privileges to me to stay with him so I’m just sitting here, writing. Listening to the Cradle do its thing and the monitors do theirs.

When he was conscious, I was with him. He said some stuff under his breath but the one thing I could make out was “I’m an idiot.”

Granted, he’s right. It was supposed to be Steve or Tony on that mission. You know, people with more defense op experience, but he had to go out and volunteer himself.

I feel sort of guilty.

It’s partially my fault, isn’t it?

I think I’ll try to tuck in for tonight. I wanna be awake when he wakes up, too.

.

July 14/21

Dear Jane,

James woke up today. He’s still in the Cradle (lots of internal damage spread throughout the body) but he’s conscious. He saw me and immediately tried to sit up which was sweet, but when he couldn’t, he just told me to come closer and then told me that he loved me.

I called him an idiot for running away. I told him he really scared me. I told him that I loved him so fucking much. I told him that I feel so guilty and he just held my face and said that it will never be my fault.

He’s so fucking romantic, even when he’s lying down with a wound being stitched closed live in front of my eyes.

Oh, and he kissed me. I don’t think I noticed how much I actually missed him until that moment.

I don’t know how to describe the feeling in my chest. It’s a mixture between super happy and super scared and super, super warm inside. Summer might be looking up.

.

July 18/21

Dear Jane,

We got home today. James is staying in my room. The team doesn’t say anything about it. We’re best friends, after all, but I think they’ve known for a long time that there’s something more. Some of them are just too polite to say so.

I won’t have much time to write over the next couple of days. James has to be kept on a strict, extremely healthy diet and medicine regime.

I don’t care. I’m just glad he’s home.

He’s kissing me a lot more, now. Alpine likes the fact that his two humans are now in the same room. He purrs so loudly, I can hear him from where he’s dozing, curled up underneath James’ chin. He (James) is resting after his second round of antibiotics for the day while I work from my room, and sometimes I catch myself looking back just to make sure he’s okay.

I’m going to go kiss him now.

Be right back.

.

July 21/21

Dear Jane,

It’s almost Nat’s birthday (the 26th). Super exciting. James is back on solids and I’m helping him around with walking. Even with the Cradle and the healing factor, he’s still super banged up, so it’s better safe than sorry.

We had a really long talk about love and stuff. It’s good to finally have it out in the open. It was mostly me talking about my side of things and he just nodded a lot. I know he was listening though.

We also kissed a lot, like seventeen year old couples who are heavy on the PDA, but within the privacy of my room. I dunno. I like the heat of his arms and the way he kisses the shell of my ear when he’s bored or it’s a commercial break.

It feels very natural.

I am very much in love with him.

I tell him that and he always looks skeptical, but whatever. He doesn’t have to say it back (I tell him that there’s no pressure) and he’ll get it through his thick skull eventually that he’s now stuck with me.

.

July 25/21

Dear Jane,

We made cookies in the early AM as tradition for the party tomorrow and I told him that I love him (again, but this time he didn’t run, nor has he the past few times. Fantastic).

While the cookies were baking, he explained everything on his side of the story: how he was scared to be vulnerable, how opening up to me is just different and new and scary and I get it. I really do. I know how it feels to think you don’t deserve good things and sabotage feels like the only way to save everyone from hurt.

He smiled a lot more after that. I guess he’s just glad I get it.

One day, I’ll successfully convince James that he deserves everything good this world has to offer.

Until then, I’ll just keep trying.

P.S. He said, with less hesitation than the first time, that he loves me, too. Best. Day. Ever.

P.P.S. The cookies are so good and I want to devour them all. I could barely stop James from eating all of them. Again: Best. Day. Ever.

.

July 26/21

Dear Jane,

In summary of today:

Happy birthday, Natasha.

James has been given the clear bill of health which is exciting. Also, I asked him about the Jane and gift of God thing.

He knew. “Intuition” and all that. He also said I looked “like a royal dame” in my swimsuit. Smug idiot just trying to be charming.

I love him and that’s the only reason it works.

Back to the festivities.

.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

Good morning to you and to James who’s still in my bed at a ripe 6:23AM, fast asleep.

Progress. Now, back to sleep.

.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

It’s now 9:49AM and James greeted me with orange juice and waffles. He said I was cute when I slept. Creep.

He also said he tried so many times to stay in my bed after, before we were like we are now, but he never could, and now he’s upset that he missed out on my cute sleeping/waking up for the day face every time he did so.

He is exceptionally cute when he’s pouting.

I think we’re officially boyfriend-girlfriend, but we’ll work out the semantics on that later. For now, it’s another summer day together. He suggested Chinese takeout for dinner because I have to go dip back into the lab later today to check on some samples.

I agreed and he kissed me in promise like it was our “thing.” I can’t stop smiling like an idiot.

Massive progress.

.

July 28/21

Dear Jane,

He told me I was the only one for him.

Also, he kissed me in front of our friends for the first time. Natasha yelled “FINALLY” and pushed us into the pool. Sam laughed and then I grabbed him and threw him into the pool. Ensuing: a water fight for the ages.

For a day: 10/10

.

July 31/21

Hey Jane,

I think I’m happy.

I’m sorry I ever doubted the effects of writing down my feelings.

James has a romantic trip to uptown planned for our first date and he said it’ll take the whole day so I thought I’d get this entry in the morning. I dunno. It’s really early and the happy thought was the first thing that came to my head.

Weird, but it’s a good weird.

See you in a bit.

[uglypastels]

Appropriate Action // Tom Holland

(a/n) this goes out to @captainpeggy40​ for sending me that gif set of Tom smoking in TDATT. I seriously have a problem, but hey, we wouldn’t have this wihout it so... also damn, i haven’t written a oneshot in ages and its so much easier oof. this was fun. 

word count: 4500 (italicized means flashback) 

warning: “bad boy”!Tom, smoking, some guys being pigs, tattoos, mention of drinking, (mention of) violence, (mention of) soft drug use. little bit of angst, but it is mostly fluff

hope you all enjoy xxx

“If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.” - Douglas Adams

The car’s engine roared as Tom waited in front of the building. The new paint job was just the perfect touch that his vintage chevy needed. Tom leaned his arm out the window, the other hanging over the sizeable front seat. He stared out ahead of him, looking at the empty road. In a second, groups of students would fill his vision, all gawking at the gorgeous black car. He preferred the attention to be on the vehicle he spent so much time in than himself. 

He inhaled deeply, filling his lungs with smoke. That bitter, euphoric taste of nicotine was finally taking over. Even though he had only woken up a short while ago, he felt like he had been up for hours. His head was pounding, and he just wished to be back in his small apartment, cut off from the world, just him and something cold to drink. 

Tom took the cigarette from his lips, flicking the burned and shrivelled butt out the window, and quickly put it back in his mouth to take another long drag. The cigarette was almost burned up, and he hoped he could finish it before-

Right then, something caught his attention in the corner of his eye. From a distance, it only looked like a colourful blur nearing him, but he knew immediately what- or better said, who it was. He turned his head, cigarette still dangling from between his lips, to look at you walking down the path to the car. Like always, your head was down, and your pace was quick. He swiftly threw the cigarette out the window. Right then you looked up and gave him a small, tight-lipped smile, which he returned to you. All this time, music was playing, so he reached for the volume to lower it a little. 

“Hey,” you got in, eyes locked on the dashboard. Tom knew what this meant. 

“What did they do?” He looked out through the window behind you, already with two distinct faces in mind to keep an eye out for. 

“Nothing, Tom. Let’s just go.” You almost begged him, but he wouldn’t have it. 

“Darling, you know I won’t allow those two assholes to be near you, just tell me what they did and I’ll handle it.” He gripped the steering wheel tightly. All you did was pick at the loose name tag on one of your books on your lap. 

“You don’t have to do anything, Tommy.” Usually, he hated it when people called him that, but for some reason, when the word came out of your mouth. It made him feel fantastic, better than any cigarette or drink could. 

You didn’t know why you were so determined not to get Tom involved in your campus problems. Probably because you knew that he could beat anyone (really, anyone) to a pulp if he wanted to, which meant he would get in trouble. And it just didn’t feel like you were worth that. You didn’t feel like you were worth it for him to get into trouble. Besides, nothing happened. All those frat guys did was look at you and make comments… nasty, disgusting comments, but most the time you didn’t even hear them. You learned to zone it out. There was nothing for Tom to worry about.

You hoped Tom would have started driving, but when you looked up, he was still staring out the window on your side, jaw clenched. You took your hand and placed it on top of his. 

“Just drive, please.” 

His eyes fell to you for a second, looking straight into your pleading eyes. He could never say no to that face of yours. There was just so much innocence in you. He loved it about you that no matter how much you tried to get out of your shell, there was always this kind of purity and shyness about you. 

With a disagreeing sigh, he changed gears and stepped on the gas, leaving the school building behind in the dust. Only the one small cigarette butt on the floor as the only sign that you Tom had ever been there. 

You leaned in against his shoulder, but after one inhale of air, you pulled away. 

“You smell like a chimney,” you said teasingly. Tom rolled his eyes, but you could see the twitch in the corner of his mouth. All you did, however, was pout. “You said you’d stop.” 

“I’m sorry.” He kept on smiling, finding it so cute how hard you tried to get him to stop smoking. But you both knew it was hard to teach an old dog new tricks. “But you have to realise, dove, that this is a losing battle you’re fighting. It’s just simply too good.” To put extra salt on the wound, he reached out for a cigarette in the open pack in the cupholder. He put the little stick between his lips and looked at you with a face that you could only describe as Zoolander-like. 

“Besides, look how cool it makes me.” He said before putting the cigarette back in the pack. How much you hated smoking, you had to admit; he looked darn good doing it. The window on his side of the car was still open, softly blowing the wind into his hair. He had let it grow since you met but could always remember how he looked like the first time you saw him. 

That was already over a year ago. You stood outside of a tattoo shop for what felt like an eternity. It was a small studio, and it was organising a walk-in sessions afternoon that day. You thought this would be the perfect time to do it. 

Finally, you walked inside. Some punk music was playing you didn’t recognise. The walls were plastered with gorgeous artwork, and the shelves were stacked with obscure little items that might have just as well belonged in a witch coven. It looked fantastic. 

Still, the place was relatively empty. Only one chair was occupied, but that one machine was enough to fill the room with the buzzing sound. A girl with bright blue hair and several piercings was sitting at the counter, looking bored. Her spirits however perked up when she saw you walk in. 

“Hiya, how can I help you?” she smiled. 

“I’m here for a walk-in if that’s alright.” It was so evident that you had no idea what you were doing. Still, the girl didn’t say anything about it—the idea of having someone get their first tattoo excited her. 

“Alrighty then, do you have any ideas of what you want to get?” 

“Uhmm, no. Not really.” your cheeks were heating up, and you were starting to think that you had not thought this through at all. 

“That’s alright,” she reassured you. “We got a few folders with ideas over there. Look through them for an idea, and then we can come up with something.” She winked and pointed over to the corner of the room, where antique armchairs were standing. Between them, indeed, a large folder filled with small tattoo designs. You sat down and started going through the pages. It all looked pretty, and it was quite overwhelming actually to pick something. 

Eventually, you halted at something that caught your eye. It was a rose with a few petals falling off. 

“I hooked up with a girl once that had kind of tattoo,” a voice next to you said, making you jump up. You looked up and saw a guy about your age sitting in a chair, ready to get a tattoo himself. You hadn’t even realised how close the waiting corner was to the actual tattooing station. And now you were wondering how long the man had been sitting there, watching you. 

“Excuse me?” you asked, not understanding the need of the comment he had made. 

“The rose tattoo, don’t get it.” He simply said. You looked at him a bit better. He was wearing a white t-shirt, which revealed a few gorgeous tattoos slipping out of the sleeves. He had short cut hair, but you noticed that on the right side, it was completely shaved off, giving you a good idea of where he was getting his next tattoo. 

“Why not? It looks pretty.” You weren’t thinking about getting it, but it did look nice, which was the big reason you were looking at it. Before this, all the designs were fairly minimalistic. This was the first one with some good detail in it. 

“Nothing against the artist, but the design… it’s kind of basic. Nothing against it if you’re into that kind of things, but I wouldn’t recommend it as a first tattoo. Not to mention, it’s a big piece. I would go for something smaller, easier.”

You had not expected a whole essay to come from his mouth, so you stared at him with a slightly open mouth. His chuckle unfroze you again. 

“Well, lucky for you I guess, I wasn’t thinking of getting it. But thanks for your input.” 

“No problem.” He was about to turn away, but the helpless and lost little child in you cried out for help. 

“So what would you recommend?” 

He came back around and grabbed the folder from your hand. He flipped through the pages, a bit mindlessly. Eventually, he got to the last page without saying anything and closed it. 

“I don’t think you should get one.” He said as he put the catalogue on the small coffee table. You stared at him. You had no response to it. 

“Not right now, at least.” 

“Why do you think that?” You finally managed to get out. 

“Well… why do you want to get a tattoo?” You were about to answer with a half-lie, but he was quicker, “To anger your parents?” 

All you did was scoff at his suggestion, but it was enough to prove his theory right. “Hey, I don’t judge. And if there is something deeper going on in that pretty head of yours, go ahead, but don’t go through hours of pain because of them. Do it because YOU want it.” 

You didn’t reply, just thought for a second. Then, without saying a word to the handsome stranger, got up and walked over to the counter where the girl was patiently waiting (and most likely listening in to every word of that strange conversation). 

“I got an idea,” You quickly went into your phone’s gallery and scrolled through the pictures until you found what you were looking for. “Could you maybe make this like a, what’s it called, like minimal line art. You know, just one continuous line.

The girl looked at the picture, and a giant smile beamed across her face. “Absolutely! If you can send it to my email, I’ll go and trace it for ya real quick.” She scribbled down her email address, and with a few clicks, you shared the image with her. She told you that it would probably take a few minutes so you could sit back down. Right, next to your anonymous helper. 

His artist had come back from wherever he had been and was preparing the ink and machine. The helpful man, however, sat in the chair, frozen like you had left him. Clearly, he didn’t expect you do go and get a design done.

You sat down opposite of him, quite proud of yourself. 

“Well… I didn’t exactly expect that, but I hope you’re happy with your tattoo.” 

“Thanks, I am.” You nodded, “I hope you are with yours. And that it won’t hurt too much.” You winced at the idea of getting your head tattoed. You head heard that places closer to the bone hurt more. 

“You can watch if you want.” 

“I’m alright, thanks.” You declined his offer.

“Aight, Tom, take a seat, mate.” The tattoo artist told the man. Tom gave you one last smile before laying down and facing away from you, giving the tattooist proper access to his momentary canvas. You watched him place the stencil carefully. You couldn’t see what it was exactly, but it looked big. Definitely, one of those designs you would not be ready for at this moment. And the girl called you to get your own stencil on. 

And the rest, as people say, was history. You got your tattoo done much quicker than Tom did. Of course, he realised this and immediately grabbed the chance to call you over to him so he could speak to you again before you left his life forever. You sat next to him, watching him get his tattoo, and talked. It was strange. It was as if you had known each other for much longer than just that afternoon. And the afternoon ended with him asking you for your phone number, which you gladly gave. 

Things stayed just as smooth and comfortable between the two of you for all those months. His hair had grown and was now long enough for you to brush your fingers trough. He might have not said it out loud, but you knew that was a big reason for him to let his hair grow out. It did mean that the tattoo that started it all was completely covered. It was like a little secret between both of you.

You felt safe with him, but almost more importantly, you felt like yourself. He never made you do anything. He was the only person in your life that did ask anything from you, never made you do anything. But at the same time, he introduced you to this entire new side of you that you didn’t even know existed. You began to worry less about what other people thought of you, you were less scared of trying new things, even if it meant getting into a little bit of trouble now and then. It felt great. 

Tom drove you to his apartment like he did every Friday. With no other plans for the day or the upcoming weekend, you were free to do whatever you wanted. Even if it meant staying in bed for the entirety of three days, eating ice cream and watching dumb movies. 

Tom’s flat was the last place your parents would have wanted you to be. It was… grungy. It was large enough for him and your occasional sleepovers. The theme he was going for with his decor was most likely a “strange second-hand store” with his mismatching, half-broken furniture. He had an extensive collection of vinyl records, the most significant part of it containing artists you had never heard of before. He kept his little coffee table quite empty, except for the tall glass bong standing in the middle (that may or may not have been a birthday present from you). And he had bookshelves filled with everything in the range of classic horror novels, to comic books. It was your favourite place in the world. 

Yet, when you were only a few blocks away from the building, you made him stop the car. 

“What’s up?” He asked after parking the car on the side of the road. 

“Let’s go to the park,” you suggested. It had been lovely weather the entire day, and you longed for stretching your legs and finally enjoy the sun. Tom wasn’t much of a park person, but he did enjoy going on walks with you. He was about to start up the car again but then stopped. Before you could ask if something was wrong, he leaned to the side to you and kissed you deeply. With his hand on your cheek, it heated up your entire body, and you grabbed his shirt, needing something to hold on to. You could taste that cigarette he had smoked before you got into the car. 

“Hmmm, just a second,”  you said after pulling out. You opened your bag and searched for a second until you found the box of breath mints. Tom, already well aware of the procedure, rolled his eyes and held out his hand flat open. You tipped over the container, spilling three large mints into his hand. 

“C’mon, these taste like shit,” he groaned. You just looked at him until he put them in his mouth. 

“You wouldn’t have to eat ‘em if you didn’t smell like cigarettes.” You shrugged, putting the mints back in your bag. Tom still didn’t seem convinced about your method, but he didn’t say anything more. He stepped on the gas again, and you were finally off to the park.

You were glad he had the window open because it was apparent he had smoked in the car recently. Fortunately, with every minute passing by driving, the smell got less prominent. Before you knew it, you had arrived at your destination and could step out. You hopped out of the car and made your way to the other side to meet Tom. He brushed his fingers through his hair as he stepped out. You could tell how cool he thought doing so, and you could agree. He looked mesmerising. In his old denim jacket, covered in DIY patches, his grey shirt and old, slightly warn through jeans, he almost looked like he could replace Patrick Swayze in the Outsiders. 

Somehow, it all worked for him just fine. 

He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you in for another kiss. You were just glad the mints were doing their job, but no matter that, just the feeling of his soft lips against yours made you melt any time. 

But you also wanted to enjoy the weather in the lovely surroundings. Hence, you unclasped yourself from hid grasp and manoeuvred around him to hold his hand. That didn’t seem like enough to Tom, so, still holding your hand, he pulled you in closer to drape his arm over your shoulders. 

Because that was the thing about Tom. He was intimidating to most. Dark, mysterious, brooding. A real loner. There were barely any people who he opened up to. One of the few, if not the only one, is you. And that was why you knew how soft he really was. He loved to have you near him, preferably holding you or at least your hand. He loved those moments on the days you were with him, where you ate breakfast in bed and told each other about the dream you had the night before. He loved having you around, and he loved being yours. 

Ever since he remembered, he always denied the question of what his biggest fear was. First, because he simply didn’t know, but know it was just too hard to admit that he was afraid of something terrible happening to you. So when he picked you up from class and saw the speed at which you walked at to the car, never looking up to chat with friends. He saw the need at which you wanted to get out of there, meaning that there was something in that building you needed to get away from. It was definitely a someone. 

He wished you would just tell him what the problem was. He would do anything for you. Which was most likely the reason you didn’t tell him. Because you knew he would do anything. Even if it meant he’d be in danger. It wouldn’t matter to him. 

But while his fear was losing you, yours was losing him. 

That was nothing to think about at that moment, though. You were in a lovely park, holding each other close. There were a lot of families around with the same idea as you, to enjoy the pleasant weather outside in the shade of the large trees. 

You walked around the park, his arm hung over your shoulders. At one point you had wandered off to small open field between the trees. It was a perfect spot to sit down. The grass had clearly just been cut because the fresh smell was overwhelming. Tom lay down with his hands behind his head, and you used his stomach as a pillow. You looked up at the blue sky, pointing out the different shaped clouds. 

“Ooh, that one looks like a dragon!” you pointed at one on the left. When you glanced at Tom you realised he hadn’t even been looking, his eyes entirely focused on you. 

“You’re not looking!” you playfully slapped his side to which he responded with a soft groan. This was followed with the both of you laughing for a while. Then Tom reached out into his pocket and to your horror, you saw that he pulled out a cigarette and a lighter. He put it between his lips and was about to flick open the lighter you grabbed it out of his hand. He looked at you in confusion.

Mumbling, since he still had the little stick of cancer in his mouth, he said: “Ekfcufe me?”

“No way are you smoking here.”  “There’s no one here.” He sighed after pulling the cigarette out of his mouth.

“I’m here. Nature is here.” You argued. 

“Nature is here?” Tom raised an eyebrow, holding in his laughter. You nodded frantically. That didn’t seem to work because he put it back in his mouth, letting it dangle from his lip. So, you reached out and grabbed that too, just like the lighter. And you put it in your own mouth. You had smoked before, just to try, and it was quite disgusting. It was another reason why you never understood Tom’s love for it. 

“What are you doing?’ Tom said, some panic covering his voice. As much as he enjoyed it, he knew how bad it was for him. Out of all the things he introduced you too, he always wished you never took up smoking. 

“Well, if you need to smoke so bad, I don’t want to be left out.” You flicked on the lighter and were slowly putting it closer to the cigarette. Your eyes, however, were locked on Tom’s. Was he going to call your bluff? The little flame was about to burn the-

“Alright! I won’t smoke here.” He stopped you. Once again, proud of your intervention, you gave him the cigarette and put the lighter in your own pocket.

“Now go throw that out.” You told him. “And I mean all of it.” You had seen a trashcan on the path leading to the open space, so you pointed him that way. Slowly, Tom got up and slouched his way toward to bin. Satisfied, you closed your eyes and lie down on the grass. 

But that only lasted for a few seconds. You could hear footsteps and loud noises coming from the other side of the field. The voices made your blood freeze and get up quickly. It sounded like they were coming your way, and you did not want them to find you lying on the ground. The thought of that happening alone- no. You didn’t want to think about it. 

You got up and were dusting yourself off from the grass, already walking in the direction Tom had went. But it was too late, they saw you. 

“Well, if it isn’t our little y/n!” one of them shouted out. Jack. You didn’t turn around, just kept on walking. But they were much faster and quickly caught up to you, cutting off the path. 

“Uhm, hey guys,” it was a wonder any sound came out of your mouth and that they heard it. 

“Well, what are you doing here all by yourself?” asked Jack with a tone that sounded as sweet as marmite to you. 

“I’m not actually,” you tried to get through, to walk away from there, “I’m with my boyfriend-” 

“Oh, with your boyfriend, are ya?” Jason added with a disgusting smirk. “Out in the field, huh. Wondering what you two had been up to.” They both sniggered like the idiots they are. 

“Do you think we can join ya?” 

“No.”  You said, determination coming up slowly in your voice. Very slowly, but it was progressing. You could see over their shoulders that Tom was making his way back, and he noticed your new company. This gave you the real confidence you needed. 

“No? Awh c’mon, don’t be like that.” Jack was about to grab your hand, but you pulled it away from his reach. 

“I said no. I don’t know how many fucking times you dickwads need to hear it.” And then you did something you still don’t know how it exactly happened. With a rush of adrenaline, in a quick move, you punched Jason in the face. So fast that his buddy Jack couldn’t even comprehend what happened before you kicked him in the groin. 

Without wasting another second you made a run for it, meeting Tom only a few feet away. He had clearly seen what happened and stood frozen on the path to where you were. 

“Were you planning on joining or?” You said as you ran by, not wanting to stop there. Tom quickly got the hint and followed you. You had to get to his car. And fast. 

“Holy shit, y/n, what was that?” Tom asked in astonishment when he caught up to you, which didn’t take that long. You, however, didn’t answer. Not wanting to waste your adrenaline rush on answering a question that could just as quickly be answered somewhere safer. 

You ran through the whole park, all the way to the car: passing families and pigeon-feeding elderly. Finally, you could see the car. Unluckily, it couldn’t be unlocked from a distance. Tom sprinted up and put the key in the lock. You had reached the other door right on time and slipped inside. 

You were both heaving air, you clutching your chest, Tom adjusting the rear-view mirror to see if the two frat boys had followed you. Realising you were once again alone, you simultaneously erupted into laughter. 

“Wow-” you breathed out, “that was-”

“Brilliant.” Tom managed to chuckle, “You were brilliant.” He reached out to pull you against his side and kiss your forehead. “Fucking brilliant.” He repeated with a whisper.

“I don’t know what came over me.” You said in disbelief, looking at your red knuckles. Tom took your hand and kissed most severely red part of your skin. 

“It was those guys from school, right?” He asked. All you could do was nod. You hadn’t told him much about what they had been doing, but you knew he was clever enough to figure this out somewhat by himself. He didn’t ask any other questions. 

“I’m so proud of you, babe,” he said, “Kicking that asshole like that, I’m almost scared of you.” 

“Oh, almost, huh?” you questioned. 

“Well yeah, you’ll always be my little dove.” Still holding your bruised hand, he leaned in to kiss you. 

At that moment, both of you knew you had each other’s back. You loved each other. Everything was fine, there was nothing to fear, nothing to worry about.

The End

> thank you for reading!! 

> pleae leave a comment or ask, i’d love to hear what you thought about it 

>masterlist and link for taglist in bio 

tagging: 

@definitely-not-black-cat @artemisiaarm @nerdyhockeygirl @miraclesoflove @justasmisunderstoodasloki @thefridgeismybestie @m19friend @creative-happenings @parker-holland-osterfield @fanficparker @fanficscuziranout @peterparkoure @xxtomxo @happywolves81 @captainbuckyy @tra-gicx @qxeen-of-hearts @varshavisuu @kangaroobunny @petersunderoos96  @the-lost-fairy-tale @nerd-domland @sleepybesson @rissa067 @the-queen-procrastinator @scarletteclipze @screeching-student-unknown @tomhollanders2013 @miraclesoflove @playinonaloop @queenoflostspirits @roses-hxlland​ @hereiamhereigo​ @sunnydays0803​ @averyfosterthoughts​ @moorehollandplz​ @beiroviski​ @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @peterparkerbabyyy @multifandomlover21​ @lmaotshollandd​ @badbitchydecisions​ @tikapollak​ @starkeybabie​ @awesomehritz​ @madzleigh01​ @oh-what a beautiful-parker @taciturnspidey​ @quaksonhehe​ @mountainsforwords​ @harryfobter @peepeeparkerr @viagracex​ @ethereal-beauty-p​ @perspectiveparker​ @slytherin-chaser​ @worldoftom​ @duskholland​ @the-claire-bitch-project​  @moonysoftt​ @peeterparkr​ @wazzupmrstark​ 

[vaguely-concerned]

X-men Evolution; the great 2021 rewatch liveblog

exactly what it says on the tin, about halfway through the show I had TOO MANY FEELINGS and had to start writing some of them out haha (gets quite gambit & rogue/gambit heavy in the latter half, Because of Who I Am as a Person)

- this is my childhood’s x-men, my formative experience with them, and I’m happy to report that still seems like a good thing. the little eleven year old within me gets to geek out and have a good time with the characters and the surprisingly good animation and writing, adult me gets to CACKLE at regular intervals at the fashion/technology/absolute bonkers hot garbage comic book nonsense they use to justify a storyline every now and then, it’s been a good time 

- I was like ‘ah well it is super dated it probably won’t be quite the same now’ and then rogue’s HAIR did the THING in the opening and ‘it’s all coming back to me now’ started playing in the background... the little baby queer in me swooning across time and space

- such a good beast, both his design and the writing, my heart aches for him all the time. he’s just so passionate! about being a teacher! helping young humans learn the stuff they’ll need in life! the most wonderful nerd man, just let good things happen for him

- I’m going to go ahead and assume that rogue’s ‘crush’ on scott is more of a deeply complex psychological process about desiring normalcy and intimacy and trying to figure out if she’s queer and dealing with her emerging sexuality and latching on to the first and best safely unavailable and nonthreatening older boy to project these issues onto rather than actually being a real thing, because I respect her so much as a person and I cannot bring myself to imagine she’s honestly attracted to a man who has POSTERS OF CARS on his bedroom wall. (I’ll give jean a break just because she seems to have a longer deeper history with him that might counteract some of that libido-kill, and also she’s a jock so lol)

like I am very sorry but can u imagine being a teenage girl with any interest in a boy with model cars in his bedroom when gambit’s swanning around being a much, much, much worse choice on almost every possible level but in a teen girl kryptonite kind of way? inconceivable  

(I drag scott quite a few times in this and it’s not because I don’t love him, it’s just his tragedy to be the most draggable man in the world)

to be fair by the time gambit shows up that whole Situation has mostly played itself out I suppose but still  

- toad’s design is so ineffably brilliant, I can’t quite tell you why but that ugly cute charm has really stuck with me, he’s one of the characters I remembered the best to this day just visually

- poor evan... he truly never had a chance, did he, they just saddled him with the most 90s teen bullshit they could come up with like he’s some kind of ‘what adult writers think teens like’ frankenstein’s monster ;______; it’s not your fault honey

- poor poor POOR storm, she gets one focus episode and they were like ‘we’re going to make an episode so racist -- ‘

I’m still STUNNED at how bad it was, but undeniably I laughed hysterically to the point that my neighbours were probably worried when that dude was earnestly like ‘He [stunningly breathlessly racist caricature of a ‘witch doctor’ guy] has stolen her powers, and he’s going to use them to take over Africa!!!’ fhajsdlfhsakjldfh oh really? tell me more, like how the fUCK this could be on television within my life time fasdlfhsdkjfhsad f  just... fahjksdfh

- it’s a testament to gambit’s appeal as a character that his charm can survive what they’ve done with his hair and beard choices in this one fajskfhs regrettable but true I still fuckn LOVE him and in my highly biased yet Correct opinion he should have been around much more. get you a man who manages to stay hot through sheer Vibes even with a bowl cut

- aw scott/jean is kind of sweet in this show even if it’s taking them forEVER to get there, I like it 

- it’s very nice of rogue to not mention magneto’s romantic daydreams and nostalgic memories about charles xavier after touching his face that one time... or maybe her brain did her a service and repressed it, there’s some stuff you shouldn’t have to know about your father figure   

- the danger room is the very definition of ‘why do we even have that lever’ and I wonder what the fuck prof x does to have enough money to replace everything that gets busted all the time

- I’d say that a lot of the writing holds up surprisingly well! (but some of it is also incredibly inexcusably racist in ways that beggar belief, so... not full marks here) the characters have distinct voices and their arcs are set up and delivered on solidly for the most part, and there’s a lot of love showing through in small moments that are just there to have a funny/interesting thing to say about the characters and how their powers work separately and in combination. listen, sometimes I get so thirsty for like. basic goddamn competency in storytelling, let me have this

- ugggggh why is there captain america in my x-men have I not suffered enough... very very funny when prof x goes ‘sounds like you knew rogers personally’ and logan is like ‘I did ;)’ *all the students ganging up on steve rogers* “did you fuck our teacher, captain america?!”

- fskadfhas WHY are you showing me hot young-ified magneto’s ass fksjahfskj charles is not even here to see it, what a tragic waste erik 

- ...I was sort of kidding before but uh I think logan genuinely did fuck captain america (or at least wishes very much that he did lol)

- wanda can have a little watching the world burn. as a treat for the way every single adult in her life has fucking failed her (’aren’t they treating you well here’ professor x she’s in a straightjacket)  

- poor rogue tho can you imagine finding out after your biggest crush on a girl yet that she’s your fucking MOM in disguise... I would break out in cold sweat every time I thought about a boob forever after

- well seems like they really just had all that homoerotic rivalry stuff between quicksilver and spyke in their first ep only to never do anything with that again ever?? I mean even without the gay undertone that seems like a dynamic you spent most of an episode setting up writers what the hell haha

- dslhfkasjlh GAMBIT THERE HE IS MY BOY IS ON THE SCENE THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I don’t even care about his awful hair situation or the fact that his eyes are wrong here (coloured contact lenses, maybe, for a watsonian explanation? though he’d probably have to get them made special, considering he needs the sclera and the iris covered up in different ways, I’ve seen some comic panels indicating he has been known to?)

(cute little detail: when he shuffles the cards the first time we see him he ends with removing the top card to show the ace of hearts beneath <3 foreshadowing baBEY he’s a... good-ish boy deep down. hey he tries okay shit gets complicated sometimes lol) 

- cracking UP at gambit perched cheerily on the edge of a crate dispensing cards in the middle of the battle... he’s like ‘eh it’s a livin’ sfsajkhf remy stop working for supervillains just because you had nothing to do on a thursday afternoon and they said they’d pay you

- I’m guessing magneto must have imposed a strict order of silence on these guys or something because I cannot imagine any other reason for him to shut up, especially once he notices rogue is a QTE (or, far more likely, they hadn’t settled on any voice actors for the new characters until next season haha. it is kind of odd that they’re all keeping up near monastic silence, though, even sabertooth lol) 

- WHAT an epic first meeting for us rogue/gambit fans here... first his shadow like there’s fireworks going off behind him lighting him up and then he gives her the fuckn king of hearts and she’s so enchanted by his dumb handsome face she doesn’t even notice it’s about to blow up in her hands and it all happens in heavily meaningful silence afjsdfjashjk no wonder this ship ingrained itself in my hindbrain  

yeah look smug while you can remy she’s gonna have you on your knees one day and you’ll be happy about it lol

- god storm is so COOL, everything just fading out of focus when she really gets going... give her more screen time, show!!

- mystique is every person... this person... that person... that bird... that cat... that wolf... I’m not even sure she’s not also me... are you sure she’s not you? 

- holy fuck I respect the hell out of the decision to just... blow up the entire status quo in a season ender, I only vaguely remembered that (actually in general I appreciate how good the continuity is -- buildings and places that get damaged in battles need to be repaired or rebuilt, it makes the consequences feel more real even when no one gets seriously hurt. where they get the money to restore scott’s car and logan’s motorbikes every time they go cablooie is still an open question tho lol is it credit card fraud, professor? is it telepathically acquired blackmail???) 

- I first watched this when I was nine or so, so it’s a real experience to go from my starry eyed intrigued ‘oh my god... they’re teenagers’ to my horrified adult perspective of ‘oh my god... they’re TEENAGERS D:’

that goes double for the brotherhood boys honestly, I’m here with tears in my eyes like ‘I’m sorry the system has failed you so badly you’re all just a bunch of dumb kids whose caretakers clearly fucked up spectacularly’  

like lance is always waiting for mystique to come back because she’s the closest thing he has to a safe parental figure, may we speak about how crushingly depressing that is 

- rogue is so ready to throw hands at literally any moment and for that I love and treasure her immensely (I think getting to see her be so surly and unreasonable and sometimes difficult and jealous, like any teenager, meant a lot to me as a kid who was not really allowed to be any of these things, this version of the character has stayed with me so deeply. she holds on so fiercely to her right to feel what she feels and be what she is even when it’s ‘ugly’ or unreasonable, which I think plays in really interestingly with how her powers involve getting invaded by other people’s thoughts and memories to the point of overwhelming her own sense of self and the fact that she clearly has a lot of self-loathing and self-consciousness and confusion about her identity as well. I love her so much)  

- oooof this is the ‘the gang experience a microaggression’ episode huh (well more like macroagressions really)

hits a bit different with adult eyes and perspective huh

- hearing jean sound almost like a child when she says ‘that’s so unfair!’ somehow has me like ;______; -- she has to be so adult and responsible all the time, and having her be reduced to the kid she still is and should get to be in front of this awful awful man she could squash like a bug with the flick of a thought... ugh I’m Big Sad (it is funny that jean seemingly plays Every Sport tho djfhaskj)

- MY BOY IS BACK!!! this time with the duster coat and his eyes the right colour, im so happy (too bad about the subdued colour scheme tho; I adore his dumb bright pink getup with my whole heart)

it’s kind of adorable that he takes the time to take the bullies aside and go ‘I know these guys can’t wreck you without getting expelled, but I think you’ll find no law set down by god or man would stop me from doing so whenever I wanted to. so piss off and leave them alone’ lol he’s looking out for them, in his own way

- in this episode: remy lebeau wrangles some kids while looking bored yet mildly amused the whole time. what the fuck does magneto have on you for you to agree to this level of babysitting duty buddy

- fun detail I noticed b/c when I get a fave I hyperfixate: he gave rogue the king of hearts before, but he ‘introduces’ himself to the brotherhood here (lol) with the jack of hearts, probably to symbolize he’s here as someone who works for magneto in this setting and not as his own man? it’s a demotion he’s given himself there, anyway, might be he’s not very pleased about his current position huh 

- I like it when rogue and kitty team up, they’re not very effective together but their squabbling is so cute and non-aggressive 

- pietro is what draco malfoy would be if I ever found malfoy interesting to watch for even one moment, every time quicksilver talks I’m like ‘what wonderfully insufferable thing is going to come out of your mouth this time you little shit :’)’

- a) why are scott and logan shirtless for this scene? I am not complaining on the logan side of things at least but why and b) I laughed so hard I almost fell off my couch when scott asked logan if he’d ever been in love and he was like ‘once. she was the most beautiful bike I ever saw’ falsdfhaskjfhsakjlfhasklhjfd THE BEST VERSION OF WOLVERINE EVER, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES 

- mystique’s sheer dedication to being a petty bitch is kind of inspirational tbh, almost makes me want to go on a completely bonkers and extra crusade of personal revenge myself  

- oooh they’re doing some genuinely cool things with vision/lack of vision in this one (it’s the scott left on his own in the desert without glasses one btw) even visually, dang! I’m so sad this show didn’t get more seasons than it did, honestly, it deserved it

- hell yeah jean wreck her, go get your man with the suspiciously specific clothing damage normally done to female characters 

awww :’) okay yeah they’re super sweet, I love the tiny loving animation details like how he leans his head against her and her stroking his hair away from his eyes

- nooo don’t bully evan leave my t0tally r4dical sk8er boy alone :(

- I love the running joke of people fleeing in blind panic only to reveal that what they’re running from is kitty’s cheerful well meaning little face fskfaskh 

- scott and jean are already peak married after officially being together for one episode and it’s adorable, and they just stone cold threw logan under the bus, rip wolverine we hardly knew ya

fjasdlfasldfhslajdkfhsadkjlfhsdkjalfhsdakfh h jean establishing herself as the alphabitch of this relationship by throwing her man to the wolves right after dsjfhaskjfhaskjhfsakjdhfaskjhfaskdhfskjahfskdajhf get smarter or get volunteered scott 

- ...eyepatch lady is so hot ngl

oh evan went to the place hank used to go to calm down ;________; (honestly he’s kind of won a place in my heart just by being a pretty normal teenage boy haha)

- jesus fucking CHRIST can you imagine being storm having to look her sister in the eye as she tells her ‘I lost your only child, he’s *vague gesture* somewhere in the sewers we think’ this poor woman

- amanda the self admitted monster fucker you are so VALID (I love her and her family’s design so much tho!)

- it’s so cool that even in his human ‘disguise’ kurt’s fingers follow the shape of his actual hand beneath it rather than moving like a five fingered hand, it’s such a lovingly consistent little detail 

- magneto and mystique in a breathless race to see who can be the shittiest parent... tune in next week for yet another parental nadir (also some low-poly gambit appearances in this one, for those at home keeping score (me), he’s in the background looking like someone drew him with their eyes closed fakjldfhasd look how they massacred my boy)

- someone please teach the brotherhood boys about consent huh

- jean ‘soccer mom before her time’ grey and her SUV dfhakjlhds :’)

- im sobbing rogue baby girl i’m so sorryyyyyy, this voice actress is so good, my parental instincts suddenly kicked into overdrive hearing the crack in her voice :( (bb me was right tho rogue centric episodes ARE the best episodes. that tension between ‘do I identify witn this character or am I crushing on her?? both???’ now has the fun new addition of ‘oh god oh no you are a baby I want to shield you with my body from everything trying to hurt you’)

- mystique is like ‘so you see despite you telling me you never wanted to see me again I completely disrespected that and posed as a friend your age, manipulated you by offering you the mirage of direly needed emotional intimacy and belonging and added some sprinkles of homoerotic tension to it just to massively worsen your already existing grievous psychosexual trauma and identity issues... out of love’

god go jump in a black hole you fucking monster 

- there’s some very interesting and quite subtle subtext about the people she’s morphing into and what that says about her mental state/how it shows off some of her emotional baggage with the rest of the team. it’s like she’s switching between people/powers that fit the purpose as if she’s going through cycles of fight/flight (and then bursts of freeze where she’s herself, which is... so sad)

- this whole episode is hurting my heart but rogue at full power is undeniably epic  

 - ‘professor x get your goddamn act together and get this poor girl some fucking tHERAPY’ challenge

- SAFE PAPA LOGAN ;_____;

- EYYYYYY opening straight on My Lad, I cannot stop winning!!!!! 

fasdfhsad disintegrating the window with a smiley face... remy I do love you more than my heart can bear honestly, hello may we speak about the fact that his urge to be a little shit is so deep and strong it survives mind control (that little breathed out ‘hiah!’ as he vaults the fence too dsakfjsd)

hahaha and he does up the coat fhsalfdsaj 

- magneto dismissing other telepaths like ‘puh-lease, your Meaningful Looks have got nothing on my ex-husband’s’ 

- :’) rogue and kurt sibling timeees

- say what you want but this pyro guy’s got job satisfaction in being a creepy arsonist with a weird recurring horse theme (well at least twice but still weird)

- I love how beast is the kindest man to ever walk the earth but also straight up savage, this man drags people so hard their ancestors wince in their graves

- gambit taking the time to complete the guard’s game of solitaire -- this episode is giving me everything I want. u little disgrace mr lebeau

and THEN he takes the spider out in the most hilariously bonkers way my heart is so FULL

(I love that when magneto moves by he looks startled and has to quickly move his head out of the way to avoid getting kicked in the temple too that’s a fun detail)

I’m so INTO how this sequence shows off that his greatest strength isn’t even his powers (which are pretty straightforward, really, he makes go boom, longer time and bigger thing bigger boom) but that he’s clever and creative and always extremely ready to be the most harebrained-bananapants-extra-in-a-deceptively-laidback-sort-of-way person in the room (I actually have some genuinely Deep Thoughts about how his whole character does a really interesting thing with having the straightforwardly destructive nature of his powers yield to what his nature as a person is, and how using the playing cards play (heh) into it, maybe I’ll write it out some day. just the fact that he could use anything, but he deliberately chose something that adds style and playfulness and corny charm to it and that also limits the damage of the explosions compared to if he habitually used something with more mass... I find it fascinating how much he’s made a story around himself with it and how deeply it shows he does have a good heart, at the end of the day, in almost a metatextual way. he doesn’t want to destroy things or people, he’s at worst (and best lol) a thief.)

- I honestly have literally no memory of white nick fury (which seems so weird now isn’t it funny) in this series from when I was a kid, he clearly did not make an impression on me lol

- mr wolverine ‘assigned canadian at birth’ x-men 

- oh man I dig the androgynity of x-23′s outfit (even tho they had to compensate with the long hair, which... kind of doesn’t make sense in-universe but does on a design level because it’s a crucial thing that she’s a female clone of logan so yeah okay fine whatever have your arbitrary gender markers if you must haha)

ooooooh that’s actually really clever, they make her gender gradually more obvious as she unravels through the episode and her outfit changes -- first the mask coming off, and then her jacket opening to show her silhouette more clearly, that’s cool!  

- my god what really sets this show apart is how much it invests in little character and relationship moments, it’s just so fucking GOOD! it gives laura looking in on those moments such depth and weight because it’s new to her but established to us as an audience, this is how you make found family devastating people (storm growing bonsai trees is so charming too haha) 

- ooof this is honestly quite harrowing 

SHE’S SO SMALL COMPARED TO HIM I’M CRYING (at least that part of his genes translated over faslkfsjdh short king, I say this with all the love and support of a fellow short monarch)  

- tabitha seems to just be running around doing precisely whatever the fuck she wants and you know what I support her even if she is an asshole her father left her a bunch of trauma and no fucks left to give 

- still thrilled about professor x explaining the spider key fuckup to magneto after the fact like ‘magnus you dumb bitch this is why we split up’ 

- awww kitty has anime and movie posters on her wall and sleeps with a stuffed toy :’)

-          remy                           rogue

                              🤝

doing completely unnecessary parkour around the brotherhood living room seemingly just for the hell of it... I’m not saying soulmates but fucking soulmates 

- fhsadkjlfhsakjldfhsadjkfhsdajkfh just as gambit’s soul-level need to be a little shit survived his bout of mind control, rogue’s deep and urgent desire to kiss gambit full on the mouth survived hers I can’t breathe

she looks so pleased with herself too GOOD FOR YOU GIRL at least get something out of this other than more trauma 

also not only the fact that he’s smart enough to figure out what’s going on (though he’s only partially right about who’s behind it. I do so enjoy gambit/mystique deep and sincere antipathy as a constant across all universes tho lmao pure wlw/mlm hostility) but also that he keeps fending her off like he’s not trying to hurt her even though she’s in nigh on unstoppable and invulnerable terminator mode... awww 

- gambit having absolutely no patience for wolverine and sabertooth’s bullshit macho-off and consistently being this little biker trio’s one brain cell is adding years to my life with every passing moment

his voice is a little different in these scenes too, a bit softer and less like he’s trying to impress someone, it’s nice

- hank: well I barely recognize any of these (completely made up) ‘ancient egyptian hieroglyphs’ but from what I can make out -- *proceeds to infodump a perfect coherent narrative* fjdhfak  

listen this whole thing is such nonsense on so many levels, I’m just turning my brain off so I won’t have to think about it okay, the compulsion to put ancient aliens in egypt haunts us as a culture 

- I am CACKLING about gambit in the snow after having to listen to these two chucklefucks ooze testosterone at each other for hours

he started out taking it in good cheer and is now reduced to ‘dieu would both of you just jump off this fUCKING mountain please’

- ah. a little oops-a-daisy there, we seem to have unleashed the apocalypse. please stand by (they really don’t pull their punches with the season cliffhangers in this show haha)

- opening the season on gambit’s merrily grinning face is the easiest way to gain my favour. yes good this season may commence 

baby u r my

 ANGELLLLLLLL

(he’s so cute here tho haha I think it shows the design isn’t unsalvagable, just get him better hair and stubble more like logan has and you’ve basically got it) 

love his exasperated eyeroll when the dude gets spooked (by his eyes? or just the general weirdness?) too

he’s just trying to keep this crazy family of evil mutants together and unmurdered by one another until they’ve managed to avert the end of the world, bless him  

- oh NO rogue’s LIP wobbles my hhhhhheart ;____; such a good animation detail to put in

- like... I know kurt is just a sad scared teenager with a lot of shit going on and all the adults are too busy averting the end of the world to help him... but buddy maybe don’t ask your sister to wake her abuser (who forced her to kickstart the end of the world!!!!!) when she feels utterly unsafe even with her statue version around huh

- ...wanda is good and I want only good things for her. and for her dad to be disemboweled for what he did to her both the first time around and when he forced her to forget I mean what 

- magneto throwing an epic satelite-slinging tantrum b/c ‘no I am the biggest sexiest strongest mutant of the pack :(’... erik fucking get over yourself 

- yes boys absolutely go along with a plan suggested by a dude who looks at you like this 

nothing bad can come of this surely asdfkhsa

- lance’s quarter of a braincell always trying to go ‘hey wait, maybe... not do this???’ and it never helps lol

- in this episode: Logan Has A Bad Day 

...some very specific bondage positions he’s held in here, I am sure this episode awakened something in someone once upon a time lol 

- logan shielding x-23 with his body... im fine it’s okay I’m not crying don’t look at me

- afsdhlsdfjasdlk those sure are some ‘scottish’ accents flsadkjhkdsjahfsd

- scott relieved to finally be able to cede the position of ‘charles xavier’s least favourite son’ to someone else fjsaklfhsajd (poor scott it’s not your fault honey)

supremely cowardly to suggest there is an ex-wife involved rather than charles slutting his way around the british isles back in the day but okay

- kurt with a cold is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. it’s okay kid it’ll get better soon

- ...is there an implication here that professor x is naturally blond. because I am losing my entire little mind about it (i mean he at least has to carry the gene, as does this lady?)

ETA: upon doing some research into this I can indeed confirm that charles xavier does seem to be naturally blond, and after this knowledge I will never be the same 

- “listen, dracula” fskdafghasd oh scott you sweet baby angel I love you

- I know jean’s abilities are a bit ‘as strong or as weak as the plot needs right now’ at this point (so you can have the setup for what’s going to happen with them eventually and she’s basically invincible ;____;), and normally I’m cool with it but god I want her to just squash lucas like a little bug

- ewwwww please don’t ever say ‘daddy’ like that again

- ...what the fuck is even going on this episode’s a mess 

like okay the split personality thing could be something but the way it’s done... what just happened lol

- MY BOY EVAN IS BACK! with a real glowup too (...though kind of weird how he suddenly looks like a grown man)

- augh scott’s eyes are so pretty oh my god ;__________________________;

- that episode in the first season where evan makes the ‘this is my new family!!’ video is so sad now (also, again, his poor poor parents) 

- time for: life affirming road trip with gambit (involuntary) faskljdfhaskjd

stunt therapist remy lebeau 

- I mean the way he goes about it is batshit insane and it’s very much secondary to what he’s actually up to but this is the first time rogue’s sounded genuinely hopeful and confident and like herself in like a season <3 

- he is disconcertingly pleased about her nearly throwing him off the train, and may I just say I agree it’s so nice to see rogue with her old fire back 

- the first time I watched this it was of course dubbed into norwegian, so I had no idea either of these characters were southern lol (though to be fair I probably wouldn’t have had much context for what it meant exactly either, I was like ten at the time and not too interested in america) I seem to dimly remember the norwegian voice actor did a little more of a ‘french’-tinged accent for gambit all over tho haha  

- you know what respect where it’s due, pyro dude knows to live his life for the lols and one has to admire his sociopathic dedication to it

interesting that he, too, seems to have fucking hated magneto -- I wonder if the implication here is that he kept all the acolytes in line with blackmail or by keeping something/one hostage? (except sabertooth maybe he’d just have to say ‘you get to fuck shit up and fight wolverine’ and that’d be enough)

- fsdakfhsd he’s so focused on her he doesn’t notice that guy about to hit him fkafhsa 

- fuck everything else except whatever the hell these two’ve got going on

- it’s weirdly cathartic to have rogue have a conversation with someone who was not happily adopted as well, I don’t think kurt like. gets it because his parents loved him unconditionally and still do 

birds of a feather motherfucker  

- fun detail: when the x-men team are on the shore and logan is sniffing around scott is stepping in something and trying to wipe it off his boots in the background

- when he wakes up after passing out from the touch he’s smiling even though she’s standing over him looking like the rage of god outlined by the moon fsajfsa well the last time he passed out like that it was from a kiss, maybe he still has some hopes and dreams in that direction lol (also he recovers from the tumble down the hill first and is checking on her before accidentally brushing her cheek with his hand, which I thought was sweet) 

and it was in that moment he knew he fucked up *passes out*

- ‘I can explain’ can u remy. can u  

- did it ever even occur to you to just. ask her. to help you. I mean I know it didn’t but like rogue’s always one second away from throwing hands with some bully and is stupidly ride or die, if you’d given her the puppydog eyes she would have crumbled immediately (fair enough I guess this entire episode is telling us he’s not from a background where he has much experience with people just helping him without a price haha) 

- his eyes glowing when he’s angry or upset or using a lot of his power is undeniably cool as all hell. I’m just saying it would be Big Sexy if they sort of flickered with light in moments of genuine vulnerability okay  

- his coat... his coat is what makes the Silhouette tm and I could not be happier about it 

- another parent of the year contestant enters the running lol “hey remy have you ever considered that you’re more of a walking bomb factory than a person? that’s certainly how I think of you hahaha c’mon kid let’s go” 

- the running joke of jean luc getting dollar signs in his eyes seeing the other mutant powers and gambit being like ‘nO!!!!’ and pulling him along is amazing haha

- from the way he looks when he touches rogue accidentally and the way he talks to his dad I’m sort of getting the feeling this gambit might actually be a bit younger than he looks?

here too -- idk why but it’s making the ‘wait is he baby???’ alarms go off in my head haha. very early twenties at most. 

- and we’ve officially seen him with all the face cards in the heart suit folks! (yes this is the sort of thing my brain notices no I don’t know either)

- poor logan running his ass off this whole episode in a panic and then she’s like ‘nah he’s fine (in several meanings of the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) please put him down’ hfaskfsda

- rogue without makeup!!! her eyes look so naked like this haha <3

- oooh here’s a really interesting thing that tickles my brain a bit in this specific part of the scene where gambit frees his dad -- the part where he’s leaning against the door frame waiting for jean luc, who’s about to suggest using the opportunity to ruin the rival gang from the inside rather than slipping away while they still can

from his expression here he knows what’s about to happen, what jean luc is about to say, and it’s clearly a ‘man who thought he’d lost all hope loses last additional bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of situation. he KNOWS what jean luc is like, and it still hurts that he really, honestly can’t give him even this, can’t appreciate that remy’s already done all this shit for him when he extremely didn’t have to, without immediately (no really, it took him less than ten seconds to go there? jesus) demanding more.  

remy tells him “I’m just here for you” and jean luc does not understand it. remy seems to be sincere in this motivation -- rogue certainly thinks so, having experienced it second hand and found enough at least emotional merit in it to decide he was worth saving even after all his bullshit (lol a bit of a running theme maybe. I think it’s very telling that after she absorbed mystique she was like ‘what the FUCK you’re a fucking monster’, and after she absorbed gambit she went ‘you did the wrong thing for the right reasons’ after she got over the first wave of outrage) 

there’s also what he says as he stands there: “You don’t need me for that”, with the distinct implication that jean luc would only keep him around because he has a use for him and for no other reason -- and then jean luc shamelessly doubles down on that by specifying that it’s not even him he’s got a use for as such, just his powers. that’s some kicking puppies level of deliberately missing the point, it’s almost impressive in how cheerfully mean it is haha

this idea of using people is really important in this episode because remy’s doing basically exactly the same thing to rogue to begin with; it doesn’t really matter to his plan that it’s her that’s with him through this, just what her powers are. (I think it’s  p r e t t y  solidly implied that he does actually like her a lot outside of that too and maybe there is some comfort in having her around for this, but mostly he’s behind a smokescreen of lies through the whole thing sooo I doubt he’s even aware of it, honestly)     

but then it does matter that it’s her when she comes back for him, even after what he did. and unlike jean luc he understands what that means, that she did that for him, and that she didn’t have to. and instead of asking her for more, in return he gives her the thing it’s been established is what he considers the most valuable thing he has; his ‘last card’, the thing he’s credited with keeping him alive many a time, basically. it’s gone from using to mutuality, a tentative place of friendship, and at the end of the day he is a different man than his adoptive father, with a capacity for selflessness and love he lacks. which is of course some of the same stuff going on with rogue and mystique too, except rogue acted from a more fragile and unstable place and did something she regrets, or at least has a LOT of doubts about now, and she found some catharsis in helping someone make a different choice in a similar situation. man there’s some Stuff going on under the surface here haha

(by the way it’s a weirdly... meaningless yet intensely meaningful thing, the gifting of a symbol? of an idea? but he’s putting something very crucial of himself into her hands, is the subtext, and he expects her to understand, which she also does seem to do. at the beginning of the episode he’s proving that he’s seen something true about her -- “You’re such an unhappy girl”, knowing where she comes from, the way she’s mourning her lost confidence and autonomy with her abilities -- and here she’s proving she’s seen something true about him. :’) I wish this show had gone on long enough for this dynamic to progress, it’s really interesting and touching)   

- gambit dragging himself up onto dry land seeing someone approaching (to help?!): :D

gambit seeing that it’s logan and the look on his face: D: 

- rogue using her powers so confidently and fearlessly in this episode tho!!!! 

- *me crying* and then her FAMBILY comes to take her home and he says he’s looking out for her too and kurt still loves her even though they’re having a conflict thing between them and she’s finally able to use her powers without so much fear again and --

- ...did I just watch some baby lesbian love at first sight shit right now???  

- okay last two episodes let’s go

- HELL YEAH STORM (I love that she’s like ‘don’t give me a dumb order like that and I won’t have to disobey it’ too sdfjsaj) her voice has such command I’m usually very much not the ‘step on me’ type butttt

- y’know I feel like apocalypse’s main fault across all versions I’ve seen of him is that he’s like an immortal superpowered god king and he’s not even sexy. like at least make him hot if he’s going to be insufferable in every other way 

- also callout post for apocalypse: one time he made gambit into the Horseman of Death... and didn’t even make him sexy!!! you were handed remy lebeau, supreme bi disaster slut of the x men universe, and you couldn’t even make his brainwashed superpowered evil side hot?? a beautiful stubbled twunk with glowing red eyes and extremely charming :> face practically delivers himself into your hands and you do that to him???? I mean I’m sure apocalypse did some other bad stuff too but that was the worst one

(comics are so dumb y’all) 

- having to watch jean cry is emotional terrorism!! ;___; she has such older sister/mom energy, whenever she gets sad and helpless it hurts 

- oh, OH so PROFESSOR X you’ll make into a hunk and ~*strategically*~ rip his clothes to show off a nipple and a flawless pec in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable because he’s like The Dad??? apocalypse you are rotten to the core this is unforgivable 

- so wait wanda never actually gets her real memories back. what the FuCk I hope that was a dropped storyline because they ended the show tragically prematurely rather than like. the plan

- why is spyke calling storm ‘storm’ show that’s his auntie o!! >:(

- as a society we need to acknowledge that apocalypse looks like a fucking clown

- ooooh yeah I have been thinking that this show’s greatest visual weakness so far has been not having a visual way to show telepathy/battles of the minds, but this is a pretty cool way to do it! better late than never

- I’m so happy rogue gets to end this herself, since she was forced into starting it against her will, it’s just nice and neat storytelling

- YEAH FUCKING TELL HER KURT AND ROGUE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and she has the temerity to look pissed off oh my god

the only valid thing mystique has done in her entire life is be in love with destiny. literally everything else she gets up to is a travesty. like I know objectively she’s hot but my loathing for her stops me from even appreciating it. I do enjoy loathing her tho so please don’t change her haha

(a bit odd to have kurt’s attitude to her swing so much but I’m just going to assume he and rogue had a good long conversation after ‘cajun spice’ and that he understands what’s going on better now)

- this last part is such a cruel tease faskdfhsdaj ‘here are all the cool-ass things we had planned. sucks you never get to see it huh’ im devastated 

- magneto without his helmet and playing charmingly with children like charles is going ‘well at least I saved my marriage finally’ fsadkhfjsd (honestly tho I would be super interested in seeing how they’d redeem this magneto because he’s been a real bitch the whole time lol) 

there’s an interesting thing here where magneto looks down at wanda as the last thing he does on screen before this epilogue part (yeah I hope it fucking haunts you forever what you did to her erik you absolute piece of hot garbage) and the last thing charles does is look at jean b/c he knows what’s going to happen to her and it breaks his heart... Dramatic Parallells  

- just the hint of jean as the phoenix has me in full D:D:D: mode tho maybe I wouldn’t have survived it

- gambit in the last groupshot with his arm around rogue ;^) I mean I’m sure they’re headed for some turns and roundabouts along the way but what’s that thing she says as her wedding vow, that she’ll always find her way back? anyway that got me in my heart

- man I really wish this show had been given more seasons, we were barely even getting warmed up here :’(

[khaleesiofalicante]

Ok imma be honest, this chapter moved me to tears and not the sad sobbing but the more inspiring kind. This chapter means the world.

She had told them her dreams were about ducks – since there were the only equally horrible thing she could think of.

Uncle Magnus had given her an odd look then, as if he knew she was bullshitting them. But he hadn’t said anything.

DUCKS AREN'T THAT BAD! HAVE Y'ALL EVER BEEN CHASED BY A GOAT?? I WAS CONVINCED I WAS GONNA DIE

Lexi would be royally pissed if this turned out to be some stupid pointless dream.

YUP

Even though she was only 7 minutes older than Lexi, Selena always acted like she was 7 years older.

That's so cute though

People looked at her pastel-coloured aesthetic immediately assumed she was the soft and sweet Fairchild twin. People saw Selena in her red leather jacket and thigh high boots and assumed she was in the infamous troublesome Herondale twin.

SMH THE DAMN STEREOTYPES

Why Selena hadn’t killed her in her sleep yet, Lexi doesn’t know.

BYE THAT'S EVERY SIBLING RELATIONSHIP EVER

The meals at the Academy were to die for – quite literally. Last week two students from the warlock fraction had almost killed each other over a blueberry muffin.

Oh how times change...they will never know the dreaded soup

NO ANJALI HAS BEEN GONE FOR OVER A YEAR???

IS JAIME OK?? PLEASE BE OK! HE CAN LIVE WITH TREATMENT SO I REALLY HOPE HE'S OK

Selena’s was Idris of course. She was kind of obsessed with it.

Max loved the shadow markets. Lexi thought they were very cool too.

Rafael loved his father’s office – which was weird. There was nothing to do in that room other than ponder about shadow world problems. Besides, the place still weirdly smelled like the tangerine perfume Anjali wore, even though the girl had left New York almost a year ago.

David loved the New York Institute – especially the library.

Gigi of course loved the dining halls.

Dining halls, kitchens, food trucks, vending machines - if a place had food with it, Gigi loved it.

It's so amazing how they all have their favorite places...(same David same)

“You’re supposed to pour the syrup on the pancakes not into your mouth,” Lexi chuckled as she sat down next to her.

“It ends up in my mouth anyway,” Gigi shrugged.

True enough.

AWW ROMAN MAKING GIGI PLAYLISTS!!

Someone make me a playlist.

“His parents fell in love in Rome when they were in Rome,” Gigi pointed out even though Lexi already knew. “I think it’s actually romantic.”

I had forgotten that-

Roman was nice. But not nice enough for Georgia. Lexi didn’t think there was anyone good enough for her parabatai – who was the most perfect person in the world.

Me @ anyone who tries to make a move at my best friend.

AWW GEORGIA LIKES HIM TOO!!

When's the wedding?

(you're telling me you didn't believe you were gonna marry your childhood crush? Liar)

“I like being his friend,” Georgia said. “I like spending time with him and all of that. But I don’t know if I like him…in that way. I feel like I need more time.”

Demiromantic??? YES GIVE US THE REP

Lexi sometimes thought life would be so much simpler if the world was full of women and everyone was a lesbian.

Ikr?? Life would be so much easier.

Lexi says Roman is too-nice-sus

Well well well

The kind of love that cheated death.

The kind of love that sustained memory spells put by princes of hell.

The kind of love that changed the world.

Trust me all of our standards are very high

Lexi successfully survived the class without falling asleep.

Me during English.

Ok who's the blond?

Lexi I thought we weren't gonna fall this soon-

Oh the girl's straight...sigh we've all been there.

which meant they had to hold hands. Kinda.

Lexi was a little scared of that.

Me.

Goddamnit, Alexandra. Get your gay together!

THAT'S SO RELATABLE LIKE?? YES

OH MY GOD IT'S EMMA AND JULIAN'S DAUGHTER GEIDIDHDOHDJSKSJSKGXJDHSODHKDGDDGDJHDJDGDJDGJDHD

Lexi knew Olivia liked boys. She hadn’t dated anyone officially of course. All the boys were kind of terrified of her father.

She could be bi or pan or omni. WE GOTTA HAVE HOPE

vegetable loaf... David I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

Lexi then decided not to do any of her homework over the weekend because she was not coming back to the academy. She was not going to survive the sleepover and whatever else Olivia had in mind.

Bestie...why is this me when I make eye contact with my crush.

“Good stuff?” Max snorted. “Rafe literally ran away from home cause shit got too intense.”

“I didn’t run away!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “Stop telling people that!”

“But you have rumours and shadowhunters getting thrown into silent city and cohort drama and all that exciting stuff!” Liv pointed out.

I-

Liv-

True though.

“Wasn’t there a serial killer when your parents were young?” David asked.

“And didn’t your uncle do necromancy?” Max said biting into a chicken wing.

True and true

“Sorry, Chouchou!” Lexi winced. “I, uh, sensed a mosquitoe on your leg.”

“Girl, your angel powers are weird as fuck,” Max laughed.

MAX LANGUAGE

“I don’t know,” the girl shrugged and threw her a wink. “I wouldn’t put anything past Lexi.”

Lexi looked at Gigi. She was one more compliment away from screaming.

But Gigi of course knew her struggle and therefore quickly stuffed a bread roll into Lexi’s mouth.

I need someone to stuff bread into my mouth when things get like this

There were rumours about David – and how Daddy had an affair. Lexi was yet to find those asshats and shove a witch light down their throats.

When you find them lemme know too.

“Or maybe it’s because you don’t need rumours be interesting,” David pointed out.

Max turned around, looking surprised at that. His cheeks turned purple. Lexi didn’t know why he was surprised. David only ever spoke fondly of Max.

JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY OH MY GOD

“Oh. Oh! I did hear something a long time ago!” Gigi said suddenly. “Olly, is it true you were conceived at the beach?”

“Georgia, you can’t just ask people where they were conceived!” David sounded horrified.

That is very much possible.

“I heard you were conceived in hell?”

“Oh my god,” Selena looked horrified. “That’s not true! It must have been about Max!”

“Y’all I am adopted!” Max was shaking with laughter and then stopped. “Although our dads could have definitely had sex in hell. I wouldn’t put it past them.”

Oh yes. Both clace and malec.

Then they had of course continued to discuss that cursed topic until Rafael had threatened to tell the Consul about it.

LMAO

Lexi turned around and saw Liv waiting for her. Nope. She wasn’t going to talk a walk – a fucking stroll! – with Olivia all on her own.

“You are coming back to the institute with me or I will un-parabatai you.”

You know there being an un-parabatai ceremony would solve a lot of shit

What if their hands accidentally grazed or something? That shit was lethal.

RIGHT????

She is just trying to be nice. That’s what friends do. They are nice. And they give each other pretty dresses and say they would like to see them in it.

Honey that's gay.

EVERYONE ASKING HER OUT IM DEAD

Selena: Ugh boys

Selena: When I win back Idris, we are leaving all the men behind.

Lexi: Except Magnus? Lol.

Selena: Obviously.

Is that even a question Lexi? Duh.

ALEC LIGHTWOOD THOUGHT SHE WAS STRAIGHT? THE SHAME!

OH MY GOD IM CACKLING

Not everyone can kiss their partner in the Accords Hall. Some people didn’t have access to the Accords Hall.

And most important, some people didn’t have partners!

We're getting a lexi and Alec talk someone hold me

“I’m going to tell you something,” Uncle Alec said. “It might sound simple. It might sound ridiculous. But it’s the truth. So, you must believe me. Can you do that?”

Lexi gave him a small nod.

“It doesn’t matter what other people think,” Uncle Alec said. “Not when it comes to your future. Not when it comes to your identity. They don’t get to have a say in who you are and why you are the way you are.”

Lexi bit her lip.

“Alexandra, people will always tell what to do. But you shouldn’t let them. Never let anyone tell you what to do with your heart or your body. Neither belongs them. It only belongs to you.”

THIS RIGHT HERE MADE ME START CRYING BECAUSE DAMN YES!

“Yep,” she groaned and then hesitated for a moment. “Uncle Alec…Can I ask you something stupid?”

“Can I say no?”

“No.”

“Then go ahead.”

I love her so much

“I feel…I feel it’s something we have to bear, Alexandra. The fear of rejection. It’s something we have to accept as an inevitable part of our lives. Because no matter how much love we have around us, we will always be afraid of people not loving us – simply because of who we are.”

Yeah...

“Besides, they named you after me,” he pointed out. “I don’t know what else they expected.”

EXACTLY! Did they really expect a straight child after naming them after Alec?

“I do like shouting,” Lexi wondered out loud. “That’s good advice.”

“I didn’t mean it literally!” Uncle Alec looked alarmed.

“No, it makes total sense!” Lexi grinned. “Some of these people can be tone deaf. Gotta shout it out. Loud and clear. Awesome advice! Thanks, Uncle Alec!”

DO IT

“Hey, Lexi. I was wonderin-”

“MOVE, I’M GAY!” she yelled as she shoved him aside and kept on running.

ABSOLUTELY ICONIC

“I prefer she/her,” Lexi answered. "But sometimes I prefer she/they. But you can use she/her because some of y'all already shit at grammar."

That's exactly what I tell people when they ask for my pronouns. Istg people are shit at grammar.

alright girl im here to give you a lecture on how someone's dressing doesn't describe their sexuality

OH MY MY GOD THERE WAS A GENDER AND SEXUALITY CLASS IN THE ACADEMY ARE THEY RECRUITING???

One of the boys who had complimented cleared his throat. “So, uh, you don’t like boys?”

“That’s literally what I said,” Lexi rolled her eyes. “I’m gay. I’m very gay. I’m gayer than the Consul. Okay fine, that’s not true. No one gayer than the Consul. But I’m still pretty gay.”

Does the boy have hearing problems?

ALSO YES NO ONE'S GAYER THAN THE CONSUL

“Sexual orientation and gender expression are two different things,” she explained now, remember what Uncle Magnus had taught them. “Sexual orientation refers to who I am sexually and romantically attracted to. Gender expression is how I want to express my gender identity. Those two are not connected. Just because a woman wears feminine clothes it doesn’t mean she is straight. Just because a man embraces femininity, it doesn’t make him gay either. Does that make sense?”

“Ohhh,” the girl nodded. “Yes, it does. Thank you!”

“What I wear does not reflect who I like. It reflects who I am and what I like to wear,” Lexi explained. “And regardless of my sexuality, I like pretty things.”

Exactly.

“This doesn’t change anything. I hope you know that,” he told her. “I mean I have to change the pronouns in my shovel talk. But that’s not a big deal.”

Awwww

Also – my good friend Raziel told me that homophobia is a sin.”

“You mean homosexuality is a sin?” an older man asked.

“No, homophobia is a sin,” Lexi repeated. “That’s what Raziel said.”

“But that’s not-”

Someone cleared their throat. When he spoke, it was in the Consul Voice.

“Are you saying know better than Raziel?” the Consul asked.

Listen to Raziel you dumb shit

“Sure. Let me just call the Lesbian Alliance,” Lexi rolled her eyes.

Ugh I wish

OH NO NO NO NOT THE FAKE DATING. JUST CONFESS AND DATE FOR REAL

“Alexandra, I have a fucking undercut and I have pink highlights and I cuff my jeans and I literally walk around with a sword and I can quote Lady Gaga to perfection! Why would you ever think I was straight??”

Lexi your gaydar is broken bestie.

Don't do this omg this is gonna be a mess

Gigi: THIS IS A BAD IDEA. ABORT! ABORT!

Lexi: Relaaaax. It’s going to be fine!

Gigi: I’ve read enough fanfiction to know the fake dating trope never ends well!

Lexi: I’ve told you to include the ‘angst with happy ending’ tag!

LMAO

Also Gigi which fanfiction do you read?

Jace omg...

That's so him though.

“How about my peeps? It sounds very hip.”

“It does not,” Lexi replied. “Please don’t refer to us as your peeps under any circumstance."

IM SCREAMING ASHSKHSIDBSHSHDH

Her father chuckled at that. “Sweetheart, you’re a Herondale. Being problematic is what we do.”

EXACTLY

Daddy opened the notebook again. “I need names.”

Grabs flamethrower names

“Besides, the Lightwoods and Blackthorns have been hogging the gay genes for too long. Now it’s our turn. I say you gay it up.”

“Gay it up?” Lexi laughed.

“Yeah,” he grinned. “Go for the highest possible level of gay.”

DO IT

He blinked for a second and then it hit him. “OH MY GOD YES! DOES EMMA KNOW??”

Lexi laughed. Yeah, he can never find out it was a fake dating situation.

Hopefully he won't have to because it won't be fake :D

“To love is a privilege and to be loved is a blessing.”

THE GROWTH OH MY GOD

This chapter literally means so much to me. I don't even know what to say. I hope I too can one day have the courage to shout it in front of everyone and not be scared. See ya on Tuesday!

It means so much to me that this chapter meant a lot to you. I hope you find all the courage, strength and support you need. You are amazing.

And here. I made you a playlist.

You can find it here on YouTube. I hope you like it :)