#//here michaela. have some pain

[37sommz-archive]

✼. COME TO ITALY | 2015.

CH. 01. NOW PLAYING: dreams by the cranberries [fluff, angst]. ✼.⠀summary: prema saves michaela's career, 2.1k.

MICHAELA WAS NEVER GOOD AT SITTING STILL. Her mother used to scold her for the fidgety nature that seemed to plague the young girl when she would bounce around the doctor’s office or disrupt the teacher during storytime. Her father thought it was a good trait to have as a racer. He found it helpful that his daughter’s endless supply of energy allowed her the chance to spend many hours in their garage fixing up a broken kart or reviewing racing footage from that day. She would bounce around, spurting out corrections for her form, or her pace.

I’m breaking too late… 

too early… 

I’m much too wide…

that was a chance to overtake.

As hyperactive as she was, she was also incredibly self-critical. Her uncle always lamented she was much too focused on being perfect—in action, in talent, and in response—that she often missed her chances to celebrate. Her response was always the same, “For every single mistake I make, they give the same amount of grace to the boys on their 10th.” She reasoned that her perfection would eliminate any opportunity for the males in the sport to discredit her. 

Not that they needed much opportunity.

✼.⠀OCTOBER 20, 2015 — surrey, england

“WE CANNOT GUARANTEE YOU A SEAT FOR NEXT SEASON.” That was what the team principal told her after she fell short of the rookie cup. Second to il Predestinato and his shiny Dutch car. Though Michaela was rarely still, she stood still in that moment. Staring up at the older Englishman’s eyes as he continued on with some excuse she had no interest in hearing. 

It wasn’t until he delivered a short, “The team wishes you the best. We’re sure you’ll have your fair pick of teams to choose from next season.” 

Bullshit. 

She muttered to herself as she turned on her heels to leave without her famously permanent smile to comfort the older man. 

“I outperformed those jerkoffs in every single race,” The words stormed into the silent room as Travis, her uncle and manager, stood across from her.

Approaching her with caution, he gently reached to grab her shoulders, pulling her in for a gentle hug. Meant to calm her, but it did anything but. After a beat, Michaela tore herself away from her uncle, a sigh emitting from his chest signaling to her he was just as frustrated as she was. 

“Travis—” 

He cut her off before she could say what they were both thinking. His eyes slowly tracked her movements as she paced from one end of the room to the other. 

“Mickey, we both know that you outperformed Ryan and Gus. But let’s not pretend we don’t know what’s going on here.” 

She scoffed at that, eyes rolling with angry disbelief as her arms found their way back into their pretzel over her chest. Travis, in his stubborn wisdom, continued speaking, “This is a test—”

“A test?” 

She exclaimed, arms thrown from their place on her chest. Her head shook from one side to the other as Travis watched on with a subtle sympathy for his ambitious niece. 

“They tested me all season.” 

The words peaked in tone, hitting Travis’ ear with a sense of pain he hadn’t seen in the 15-year-old since she was back in Australia breaking the news over the phone that her father had been laid off.

“They gave me the least reliable car, they refused to protect me from the pricks who terrorized me off the track. Then, when I get a win in Germany—” 

Her lips pursed together at the memory, stopping in the middle of her words to keep herself from crying. 

“The only win between the three of us—” 

Failure finds her, tears puddled in the corners of her eyes spill over. 

“The engineers abandon me on the podium to talk strategy with the other two.”

“How many times do I need to prove that I’m just as,” Stopped to correct her words her head shook again, “...better than the boys?”

It’s Travis’ turn to fold his arms over each other. His head fell back against the door that stood behind his frame, too pained to watch Michaela fight to hold back the tears that kept flowing down the sides of her face. Their lips equally pursed as the silence filled the room once again.

This was what most of their conversations ventured into. That question of being enough tortured both of them, for admittedly different reasons, but the toll of it weighed upon their shoulders the same. It had been a question Michaela frequently asked her uncle, usually in jest, though revealing the depth of her insecurities just the same. 

They both knew Travis would eventually have to offer her an answer. 

One definitive so she would stop asking. 

But Michaela would be lying if she tried to act as if she was naively unaware of the answer Travis fought back every time the question was posed. 

She knew the answer was never. 

She knew the answer would destroy her if confirmed by the one person who believed she was better than the boys. She knew the answer would tear down every step forward she took in the name of chasing the success she so desperately craved to taste. 

So Travis didn’t answer. Neither of them was sure he ever would.

Instead, with his head pressed against the hardwood behind him, he offered up a solution. As he always did.

“We’ll call around in the morning like we always do. We’ll use every trick, every piece of leverage we have. I’m going to get you that seat. Doesn’t matter where, doesn’t matter how.”

When Michaela didn’t respond, his head broke away from its hold tipped back. His eyes met hers searching endlessly for a sliver of hope in her clouded brown eyes. The same eyes she shared with his older brother. 

“C’mon Mickey—” He coaxed in an attempt to draw an emotion out of the teenager who stood before him. Any emotion would do in that moment. “I’ll make it happen. You believe me? Right?”

It must have been nearly a minute before she broke the staring contest she held over him. She shrugged her shoulders, arms folded over to offer a sense of comfort to her pained self. 

“Yes?” Travis pushed once more, eyebrows raised in a way that reminded her of her father’s own instinctive heroism.

“Yeah.”

A nod was all he needed to cross the space over to her. With a shake of her shoulders, Michaela released the smallest of giggles. His paler hand ruffled at her curly hair, a move to diffuse the tension that hung between the two family members. 

“Right,” He exhaled as his hand retreated to its place. “Let’s get out of this shithole.”

✼.⠀NOVEMBER 05, 2015 — london, england

“In a post to her blog, Susie Wolff has announced her formal retirement from Formula One.”

-

“The prospect of a female driver on the grid.”

-

“The events at the start of this year and the current environment in F1 the way it is, it isn't going to happen."

-

IN THE FEW WEEKS SINCE HER DROP FROM JAGONYA, MICHAELA HAD NOT LEFT HER RACING SIMULATOR IF NOT TO EAT OR SLEEP. The TV directly to her left was left on Sky Sports, news within the racing world kept her both alert and melancholy.

Paradoxically, it worried Travis, and his wife, just as much as it reassured them. The duality of the feeling pulled at their emotions as they witnessed the extent of Michaela’s worries that she wasn’t—and couldn’t be—as good as the boys. That’s what most of her hyperactivity came down to. At least in their eyes.

“Michaela, love.” 

Bea’s words were as gentle as ever given the depths of her concern for the teenager. Her eyes caught the end of Michaela’s racing journal as it perched on the edge of her desk. Battered from her obsessive writings, Bea picked it up carefully to place it down carefully. 

As she turned back to her niece, Michaela’s tired eyes stared up at her, hands still gripped at the wheel of her simulator with the screen paused in wait. 

“It’s been ages since you got up.”

With a softness, her eyes conveyed the true weight behind her words. Michaela was more than aware her obsession with perfection worried her aunt, though she was unwilling to give it up. A relaxed sigh left her mouth as she rose from her chair, the simulator shutting down as Bea observed from her stance just across the room.

“Come eat, Travis has news.”

The casual words stunned Michaela more than she would be willing to relate. A knowing smile pulled at the corners of Bea’s mouth before she shrugged calmly. 

“I’m not sure what it’s about, but he was quite insistent you come down.”

Those words were all it took before Michaela rushed down the stairs, her hair flying behind her in a messy haze of brown and blonde curls, bouncing against the gravity of her run.

“Mickey?”

Travis’ voice beamed with excitement as he caught the attention of his excited niece. 

“We have a guest,” His head shook with a laugh. “Best behavior?” His pinky finger reached for Michaela’s own, an ill-fated attempt to calm her down before the unnamed guest presumably seated in their living room. 

A clear of her throat and a twist of their pinkies and Travis led her to the living room.

A full head of dark hair turned to face the overzealous 15-year-old clothed in a raggedy Lightning McQueen t-shirt. With a laugh, he stood to attention, and a hand reached out to shake hers. 

“René Rosin,” She exhaled with a breathiness that conveyed her amazement. A smile graced his features at her recognition, sure his decision had been reassured in that moment.

“I heard the Brits left you without a seat for next year.”

“Can you imagine?” She muttered, her smile never faltered despite her uncle’s clearance of his throat as a reminder of her ‘best behavior’ promise from just moments before.

“Sorry, I’m really—” 

She cut herself off as René raised a hand to signal he graced the comment. 

“When I found out, I can admit I was shocked beyond belief.” 

The team principal’s Italian accent bled beautifully into his words. Michaela almost found herself distracted by the flourishes he added to the end of his sentences as she hung on to every word he expressed to her. 

“How has your break been?”

Caught off guard by the question, Michaela shrugged her shoulders. With a nervous bite of her lip—terrified and in awe of the principal’s appearance in her living room—she chose her words wisely. 

“Unfulfilling. I miss the track.”

With a nod of his head, René exchanged a knowing glance with Travis who gently chuckled at his niece’s criticalness. 

Michaela’s mind spun at a mile a minute, an infinite number of scenarios of René’s next words ran through her consciousness. Hope was tussled with paranoia at the back of her mind. Hoping that this would be her moment of redemption but paranoid she would be put in her place once more. 

They got someone to convince me to give up.

The thought displaced her for a moment before she snapped back into reality. Her teeth chewed at the inside of her mouth and her fingers pressed into her palms. Both were nervous habits that didn’t escape Travis and Bea’s attention though they exchanged subtle smiles that completely escaped Michaela. With a gentle tap on her shoulder, Travis coaxed Michaela to stop her movement. The action reminded her to exist in the moment before her.

“How soon would you like to be back? Racing?” 

Michaela didn’t need the clarification he offered before she burst with attention.

“Tomorrow—today—I… I don’t care when. Just as soon as possible.” 

René chuckled again at her eagerness. With a clap of his hands that startled Michaela as much as it excited her, René cleared his throat.

“Then tomorrow, I’ll see you in Veneto.”

Michaela tilted her head in confusion, feeling as if she had missed a few words before the statement. 

“Sorry,” She stammered, paranoia crept back into her. “What—what do you mean? V-Veneto?”

His smile did little to calm her until his response accomplished the mission instead.

“How would you like to race for Prema in GP2?”

✼. view:⠀masterlist⠀⸻⠀join the taglist⠀⸻⠀request. ✼. taglist:⠀@cha-hot @certifiedlesbianbaddie @nichmeddar @d3kstar @thewannabewriter

[trollprincess]

Francesca and John have been married for several years. They’re good. He loves her, she loves him. Something isn’t exactly *right* about the way Francesca feels about John, but Violet didn’t explain much about being with a man, much less what to do if something is … off. But he’s a wonderful man, and that’s what matters.

Michaela becomes her best friend. She’s right, of course, about the truth about her being far worse, at least in some people’s eyes. Some women are not quite as proper as Violet, it turns out, and after feeling out the water a bit, Michaela starts to broach the subject of her own exploits. Francesca is more than a bit startled - you can do those sorts of things with women?! - and a puzzle piece clicks into place.

Not the whole puzzle, mind you. Just a piece.

But Michaela is her best friend, and Michaela’s and John’s mothers are like extra mothers for Francesca. So they’re there the first time Francesca loses a baby. And the second, and the third. By the fourth time, it’s become this painful parlor trick Francesca can do. She can play Mozart with delicate precision, and she can painfully lose her delicate condition just as easily.

The Sterlings flutter around her like concerned butterflies. Rest. Eat this. Don’t eat that. No undue strain.

And then John dies. Talk about undue strain.

They’re all broken, of course, and Michaela and Francesca cling to one another. Michaela lost her best friend, Francesca her husband. They are each other’s crutch. What do you need, Frannie? Is there anything you’d like to hear on the pianoforte, Michaela? Give me an occupation or I shall run mad. That sort of thing.

Francesca, it turns out, is pregnant again.

No one has high hopes this time. Even Frannie struggles to believe. But helping her keep this baby, this one piece of John, becomes Michaela’s mission. Don’t you dare get out of bed. Whoever wants to tell her anything has to go through me. It’s cold in this castle, you need more blankets.

Michaela becomes nurse, emotional support Labrador, and guard dog all at once.

It’s a countdown - they just need to make it through today, and then this week, and then this month, and while they’re fighting tooth and nail for that child to be born. The next thing you know, they are eight months in, and they turn to a new worry - Francesca and the baby surviving the birth. They just need to get over this one last hurdle.

The birth is intense. Francesca struggles. Michaela tells her that Frannie can’t leave, her baby needs her. And so does Michaela. They hold on, and the next thing you know John Sterling II is here.

They did it. They made it. *He* made it. And they’re in love.

*

Queer storyline - check!

Infertility storyline - check!

Francesca gets to be a mom - check!

Now, if I can do that in one goddamn Tumblr post, I’m pretty sure the showrunners can do the same by the time Francesca’s season gets here.

[livsoulsecrets]

Michaela/Francesca Fic - If the pain is real, then why can’t I find a cure?

@fandombingo Prompt from Wonderland Bingo: "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go am here?”

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Content Warnings: Death, Grief

Summary: In the wake of John’s death, Michaela and Francesca become each other’s anchors.

“John… He was my north. I never imagined the day would come when I would move towards a future without him.” Michaela inhaled sharply before continuing, “This is the worst day of our lives. All that I ask is that you try to survive it.”

Read on AO3.

The hours had blended together into an unending sequence of eerie silence and unstoppable sobs for Francesca.

She had no idea how Michaela was still standing, giving the servants directions and making arrangements.

Francesca watched as Michaela took the reins of the situation to the best of her abilities when she could not move. She observed as the woman dried her tears every few minutes, suffocating her own pain in order to ease Francesca’s.

She had never been more grateful for her presence. Francesca was not sure she could have managed without her. From the moment she saw John’s lifeless body, her soul had shattered, rendering her completely useless.

The mere thought of John—kind, brilliant, sweet John—as a body turned Francesca’s stomach.

It was unnatural. It was simply wrong.

“Francesca,” she distantly heard.

He could not be gone. Maybe they were wrong. Perhaps John was still there. If she called out for him loud enough, he would wake up again and smile at her and Michaela with the brightness of a thousand suns.

“Francesca,” Michaela’s voice sounded again, firmer. “Francesca, look at me.”

She pulled her mind away from the desperate thoughts of denial to stare at Michaela, sitting by Francesca’s side on the living room couch.

“You should eat,” Michaela muttered, reaching for a plate of biscuits placed on the center table.

“I am not hungry,” she replied, crossing her hands atop her lap.

“I understand, but you must eat anyway. It has been too long since breakfast, and you have not eaten since. These are your favorite.”

Michaela raised the plate closer to Francesca, but she pushed it away.

“I don’t think I can. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can barely breathe as it is.”

Michaela put the plate away and instead took Francesca’s hands in hers.

“I am so sorry for asking of you more than you feel capable of giving,” she stated very quietly.

For a moment, the distant sounds of the maids preparing John’s body disappeared. There was just the coldness of her heart threatening to swallow her whole and the warmth of Michaela keeping it at bay.

“John… He was my north. I never imagined the day would come when I would move towards a future without him.” Michaela inhaled sharply before continuing, “This is the worst day of our lives. All that I ask is that you try to survive it.”

Francesca shook her hand, incapable of looking into Michaela’s eyes. “I do not think myself strong enough for that.”

“You must be,” Michaela said firmly.

Francesca was reminded of John’s stories of his childhood. Most of them involved Michaela leading John into some adventure that inadvertently ended in trouble.

She had asked him once, “Why did you follow her every time if you knew the chances of it ending poorly?”

He had shrugged and taken his time to think his answer through. “She has always been incredibly convincing. Besides, if there is one thing I have learned, it’s that, in times of crisis, Michaela is the person you want by your side.”

John had smiled, and his face had relaxed into a peaceful expression. “She will not let you drown.”

And that was precisely what Michaela attempted to do now.

She was trying to keep Francesca afloat.

“You must eat because you must live. And you must live because John loved you more than life itself. Otherwise, his love will die with you.”

Those were rough words to hear in the aftermath of such a heartbreaking loss. Had they come from anyone else, Francesca might have thought them cruel, but that was Michaela.

Her voice was a lighthouse amidst a storm—a balm to the tragedy that struck Francesca’s home.

She presented her indisputable truths, for she had known John longer than Francesca had been alive.

That was the cousin of each of her adventures, the brother she had been granted by life, and the twin flame of her very soul.

Michaela was giving Francesca the gift of truth when others would have given her false words of comfort and kind lies.

“Then, would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” Francesca begged, her voice trembling.

Michaela paused, taking a moment to wipe away the tears that ran freely down her cheeks.

“I am afraid I do not hold the answer to your question. I have survived this day through sheer willpower and not much else. All I do know is what John would have wished for us—a life. Perhaps not an easy one, or even a happy one in this very moment, but a life nonetheless.”

Michaela squeezed Francesca’s hands. “So, please, Francesca, just eat.”

She did not want to. What Francesca wanted was to run as far away from this pain as she could.

Instead, she picked up one of the biscuits and forced herself to chew.

She swallowed one after the other, and cleared the plate, willing her stomach to keep them down.

Michaela kept hold of one of her hands through it all—an anchor, a tether to the here and now.

This pain was familiar in a way. The need to ground herself was too.

Francesca had just turned six at the time of her father’s passing, too young to remember much about those dark times, but what she did remember was the loudness of it.

The Bridgertons had never been a quiet bunch—it was the whole reason why she stood out from her siblings and mother, after all.

They laughed freely, they spoke loudly, and they grieved even more so.

Her mother’s cries remained in Francesca’s nightmares for years. She recalled Anthony’s despair as he yelled at them to back away, trying to protect his siblings from the vision of their dead father.

In the days that followed, Francesca was woken up by Eloise’s screaming as she called out for their dad and Daphne’s voice, just as desperate but somehow more contained, urging her to calm down.

There were no such noises now. Francesca’s beloved home, away from most of society and its distractions, was drenched in complete silence.

Grief had always been so deeply ingrained with outbursts for Francesca that it felt off-putting to have none of that now.

Even the normalcy of loss had been taken from her.

There were only her, Michaela, and the servants now. The only sounds were those of hurried footsteps and Francesca’s uneven breathing.

Francesca would have taken her mother’s sobs, Anthony’s firm yelling, and Hyacinth and Gregory’s endless bickering over the eerily quiet if only it meant she wasn’t alone with her grief.

Francesca missed their chaos, for she had realized it was the only reason she had survived loss the first time around.

“I want…” She started weekly, then felt her voice trailing off. Michaela bent forward, listening attentively.

“I need my family.” She managed to say, “My mother, my siblings. Please.”

Michaela was nodding before she even finished speaking. “I can send out a message to them. It may take a few days to be delivered, but I will do what I can. If you wish, we can go to them once the funeral is performed. I will accompany you. If you will have me.”

Francesca’s breath caught. “I can not possibly ask this of you.”

“You are not asking. I am making the offer. You must not be alone in that journey, should you choose to make it.”

Michaela stopped for a moment, and her voice broke a few times before she managed to speak again. “Neither should I, to be honest.”

Francesca watched as Michaela lost her battle to the tears that spilled freely down her cheeks.

The weight of that day seemed to have seized her completely.

Francesca pulled her in. She circled Michaela’s fragile frame with her arms and held her tightly as she sobbed.

Finally, the loudness had returned to her. That she knew how to deal with.

Far more grateful than Francesca ever thought she would be on such a disgraceful day, she laid her head atop Michaela’s and whispered words of comfort back to her.

[simslegacy5083]

Not So Berry (Straud Descendants) Gen 9

Today's (8/14/2024) Episode: Facing The Music

Luigi was stoked about the opportunity to develop his dream game, but he knew if he wanted to keep his new backers happy, he’d need to stop sulking and do some damage control following the scandal using his ergonomic mouse had caused during his last E-Sports tournament.

Like it or not, he headed to the Rainy Day Entertainment satellite office where the team practiced and went straight to public relations.

“Its about time!” the teams' publicist, Michaela, burst out as soon as he got seated. “That sponsor you got on the wrong side of the other night isn’t letting this go and we need something better than “it wasn’t technically against the rules” if we’re going to salvage your good name.”

She paused. “I know you’re competitive, but you’re not stupid enough to try a stunt like that without a good reason. What happened out there?”

Luigi let out a deep sigh before meeting her gaze “Age, man. I’ve been careful, but this:” he held up his mousing hand “has started giving me trouble whenever I practice or play hard for any length of time. That ergonomic mouse makes a huge difference and let me end the night pain free.”

The look in Michela’s eyes at his admission was exactly the kind of reaction Luigi had been trying to avoid. Finally, she said “thank you for being honest. We can easily spin this to our advantage. We’ll hold a press conference; you tell them what you just told me…”

Luigi cut her off “If I wanted to get a reputation as a washed-up old has-been, I would have done that in the postgame conference and saved you the trouble now. I feel my brand is stronger as a “bad boy” than that, so I’m going to need a better option to change lanes on this.”

Michela could tell Luigi wasn’t going to budge easily, so she switched gears. “Have you checked in with Doc Leonard about your wrist?”

Luigi shook his head “I told you; I didn’t hurt myself; I’m just hurting. Unless he has a time machine, he’s not going to be able to help me.”

Ignoring his protests Michaela continued “Go see the doc. A formal diagnoses will help our case no matter what and will hopefully give us another angle to work with. Honestly though, admitting to getting older isn’t a death sentence. Lots of sims will sympathize with what you’re going through”

Luigi shot a dark glare at the young adult sitting across from him “Fine, I’ll go see doc. After he tells me what I already know, hopefully you’ll have a better idea for turning this thing around than feeding the fanbase an open invitation to put me out to pasture.”

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[purpledaisiesthings]

Like the previous ask I am also a huge jachaela shipper and am super annoyed that they built up there relationship the whole series just to have Michaela end things.

My question is why do you think Zeeke and Michaela are endgame if he doesn’t even know who’s he is when she gets in to his cab? Like if this is before the cave then isn’t this when he’s still an addict? Honestly if some person I didn’t know hopped in to my cab and started talking about all this stuff that supposedly happens in the future I’d be beyond weirded out 😂

I have no problem with him as character but Beverly once stated that it doesn’t hold a candle to 12 years together so obviously Michaela and Jared we together for over a decade and so obviously they love each other to be together that long I mean no sane person would stay together that long with someone if they didn’t want to be with them or see a future with them.

Oh anon, get ready cos this is gonna be a long read (I apologize)😄 and I know we will still disagree but that's ok.

I feel like the point they were driving at with the show is to have these characters experience a potential future so that they can realize what they truly want and meet people they need to meet. Kinda like raising the question of, "If I know what my future will be, what will I change or choose today?" At least, that's what I think they were driving at with this whole divine consciousness thing. It's about choices.

Ben needed to meet Saanvi so she can help cure Cal and Maybe Mick needed to heal from the loss of Evie and also figure out if she truly wanted to be with Jared outside of the pain she felt.

People don't usually stay in relationships for years if they don't plan to be with them forever. But in Michaela's case she was with him for yrs and she still hesitated to marry him. Which takes me back to the whole divine consciousness experience to figure out what she wanted.

When they first met, both Zeke and Michaela didn't know who the other was. But now, from her perspective, she has experienced love with Zeke, albeit this version is still an addict like you pointed out 😄. But tbf, she has always known him to be an addict. He just got cut off from his drugs because he was stuck in that cave for a year. And then she helped him heal from the death of his sister. They both helped eachother heal. Maybe this version, in reality, is meant to do the same for him. So she has experienced what life could potentially be with both Jared and Zeke and she chose Zeke.

We don't know what that conversation is going to be like when she starts telling him all these weird stuff, that's left to our imagination I guess. But from what we've seen of Zeke's character, he's understanding and empathetic. Lol, whatever it is, we just know she chooses Zeke.

To me, Zeke and Michaela's journey together has been one where they always chose eachother. No matter what. They have been hinting at them as soulmates and endgame from the jump. I don't think it comes as a surprise that it was Zeke in the end.

I'm gonna end here cos I know I'm rambling now 😄. It's 2am for me, my thoughts are all mush

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Snake Eyes chapter 11: The Ultimate Fusion (originally published on November 6, 2023)

AN: Happy tenth anniversary to Steven Universe. For my anniversary present, I bestow upon thee the penultimate chapter of not just Steven Universe: Snake Eyes, but also the entirety of Steven Universe: Alternate Future. It truly is a pain to let this story go after three years, but as a wise man once said, all good things must come to an end. With the plotline involving the development and redemption of Black Rutile now come full circle, it's time we finally address Steven's relationship with the Diamonds before they go off and save the universe from a planet-eating snake demon. It's going to take an awful lot of work to forgive beings as powerful as the Diamonds, but if Steven was able to accept Black Rutile's apology, then anything is possible, right?

Synopsis: In a last-ditch effort to save all reality, the Diamonds must fuse together in order to stand a chance. However, Steven still has some baggage with the other Diamonds to deal with.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven

Patti LuPone as Yellow Diamond

Lisa Hannigan as Blue Diamond

Christine Ebersole as White Diamond, Gem

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Samantha Newark as The Lapidarist

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl

Grace Rolek as Connie

Jennifer Paz as Lapis

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Matthew Moy as Lars

Zach Steel as Ronaldo

Atticus Shaffer as Peedee

Ron Perlman as Inner Steven

Aurelio Voltaire as King Cobralan Jormagundr

Jason Marsden as Prince Nosiop Jormagundr

Shirley Millner as Queen Constricta Jormagundr

Cissy Jones as Princess Naja Jormagundr

Keith David as Pyth

Henry Rollins as Captain Boa

Kari Wahlgren as Envyrno

Nicole Sullivan as Sylvia Spectre

Peter Cullen as Titanium

Steve Blum as Sheriff Spiegel

Dominic Armato as Captain Gearfeet

Wally Wingert as Rigby Starglow

Ray Porter as Squamata

Tim Curry as Velhallen Beo

Featuring Elton John as Stars

Weird Al Yankovic as Stevaldo

And Jack Black as Rutilated Quartz

--

Steven was still processing what he had heard earlier. Him fusing with the Diamonds? Perish the thought! Sure, he was always up for helping others, even former enemies. Still, after all that the Diamonds had done to him, his family, and most of the known universe, it was way more challenging for Steven to accept that they were coming to him for help rather than him coming to them. He needed some time to think about this while everyone was preparing for the final battle with Squamata.

"So now they want my help after all they've done to me?" Steven angrily muttered to himself while pacing around the throne room. "Oh sure, I've allowed Black Rutile to repent, but it's going to take more than just saying sorry to make up for thousands of years' worth of genocide!"

"Problems, Steven?" Inner Steven asked from within Steven's mind. "Frankly, I'm quite surprised that those Diamonds are asking you for help for once instead of you asking them. And they couldn't have picked a worse time to do it, too."

"And now I have to fuse with them in order to save the universe!" Steven agreed with his darker half. "While I'm more than happy to find a way to stop Squamata once and for all, I'm not sure how this can work, given all my baggage!"

"Worst case scenario, the fusion fails astronomically, and we all die." Inner Steven proclaimed. "Just being realistic here. But then again, no one ever listens to the darker impulses of the self. And speak of the devil. Look who it is!"

Just then, Black Rutile stepped into the throne room, obviously still adjusting to her reforming into a Crystal Gem after sacrificing herself to protect Steven. In addition to the blank spot where her diamond symbol once was now being filled by the star of a Crystal Gem, Black Rutile's cape was now replaced with an all-white trenchcoat with pink details and a star on the back, dark gray trousers, and her original green visor to replace her red one.

"Hello again, Steven." Black Rutile awkwardly greeted. "It's me again, Black Rutile. I always come back and all that. Something the matter?"

"Go ahead; I'm sure you can trust her now." Inner Steven advised while figuratively shoving Steven towards his former enemy. "If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

"So, Black Rutile, how are you adjusting to things?" Steven asked Black Rutile.

"I'm slow to adjust, like always." Black Rutile replied. "Love the new look, though. So, you have to fuse with the Diamonds to save reality, huh?"

"Exactly." Steven added sourly. "You know how fusions must involve total cooperation between its components to stay fused? Yeah, I don't think that's possible between me and the Diamonds."

"I can totally understand where you're coming from." Black Rutile stated. "I felt utterly betrayed by the Diamonds, too, but if they could give me a second chance, then surely you can do the same to them!"

"But you're different!" Steven exclaimed to his now-former enemy. "You were at least able to recognize that you hurt me and are working to make amends for that. They're focusing more on everybody else they hurt and always act like they've been friends with me from the beginning!"

"You're kind of vindicating one of the reasons I hated you right now." Black Rutile snarked. "The universe doesn't have to revolve around you, you know! You have to consider everyone else in this world, too!"

"Yeah, maybe I can be selfish, but at least I don't have an entire planet forced to worship me, or else they'll die!" Steven argued. "Why can't they just focus on what they did to me for once?!"

"Because it's not as simple as you think, Steven." Black Rutile stated with her arms folded. "This kind of stuff gets messy, and everybody's got issues, especially the Diamonds." She then looked down at where her diamond symbol used to be, nostalgically reminiscing on her time as a member of White Diamond's court. "And sometimes, they screw up. But that doesn't mean they won't just pretend like it didn't happen." Black Rutile offered a tender pat on Steven's shoulder. "Try to cut the Diamonds some slack. They may not always get it right, but they're trying. That's more important than you think."

"Wait, I think I got an idea!" Steven exclaimed in realization while he ignored Black Rutile. "What if I don't need to fuse with the Diamonds to save us all?!"

"You have got to be kidding me." Black Rutile grumbled with a facepalm. "Okay, fine, let's see whatever harebrained scheme you have, I guess."

--

"I admire that you made me take time out of my schedule to bring me here, Steven, but what is this for?" the Lapidarist asked as she sat in front of Steven, Black Rutile, Lars, and Ronaldo at the abandoned Ouraborium. "Whatever you have planned, please make this quick. We are preparing for war."

"Listen, Miss Lapidarist, I know we don't have much time, but I want to show you some alternatives to fusing with the Diamonds." Steven announced.

"It's his way of saying he's not ready to fuse with them yet because of his leftover baggage." Black Rutile snarked before Steven pushed her aside and then turned to Lars.

"She raises a good point, you know." Lars agreed with Black Rutile. "You can't just ignore your feelings about someone like that!"

"No, no, I bet people have wanted to see this for a while." Ronaldo said as Steven took Lars's hand and the two fused into a tall, pink-skinned man with crazy, 1970s-styled hair and dressed like he was the leader of a lonely hearts club.

"Oh, my stars!" the newly formed fusion of Steven and Lars gasped in amazement with a British accent. "Hey, that sounds like a pretty good name! That reminds me, I wanna test something." With a loud yell, Stars created a portal he jumped into, with another allowing him to land on the Lapidarist's shoulder. "Pretty impressive how I'm thinking with portals, eh?" He then summoned a large bass guitar from his hair to swing through the air like a sword before crashing down onto the ground with a big 'TWANG!'

"So cool!" Ronaldo cheered. "Do me next, do me next!"

"Okay, love, don't get so impatient." Stars laughed before un-fusing into Lars and Steven, who gave Ronaldo a high-five before the two merged into an equally tall man who was very bizarrely dressed, fitting Ronaldo's eclectic interests, with outrageously curly hair.

"Whoa, I look so stupid!" the fusion of Steven and Ronaldo laughed jokingly. "Wait, I am Stevaldo! I dare to be stupid!"

"Guys, where are you?" Peedee called for Steven and Ronaldo as he entered the arena. "The Gems want everybody together to stop the Lapidarist. Don't keep us-"He stopped himself immediately upon seeing Stevaldo in front of him with a big goofy grin as he began playing the accordion. "What just happened?"

"Check it out, Peedee, it's me, Ronaldo!" Stevaldo eagerly said. "I fused with Steven, and it feels super cool! Check out what I can do!" With his fingers to his temples, Stevaldo manipulated the rocks beneath him and used them to form a message saying, 'I AM STEVALDO!' "Pretty cool, huh?!"

"So when are you going to fuse with me?" Peedee asked.

"Maybe when he realizes he's using fusion to get out of making amends with the Diamonds." Black Rutile answered with a smirk. "But what do I know?"

"Is this true, Steven?" the Lapidarist wondered as Steven un-fused with Ronaldo. "Are you that uncomfortable around the Diamonds?"

"Yes, you got me, I am uncomfortable." Steven confessed. "I'm happy that we were able to convince them to heal all the corrupted Gems, a little easier than I thought, but that still doesn't distract from the fact that they were this way because of the Diamonds to begin with! And that's not even getting into how their treatment of Pink led to the rebellion, which led to so many lives being ended over thousands of years!"

Steven resisted the urge to cry as he poured his feelings out until the Lapidarist patted him on the head with her giant hand. "There there, Steven." She calmed him down. "Forgiveness and compassion shall always take time. So until the time comes for everyone to apologize, it's best to remain optimistic. In the meantime, you should be helping your friends save the universe."

"You're right." Steven sighed in resignation. "I can't dance around this any longer."

--

"Okay, everyone, double time, we ain't got much left to do here!" Amethyst yelled as she gave orders to all the members of the army of Gems, humans, Slytherophidians, Metals, and other assorted creatures from across the universe, all vastly different but still united against a familiar foe who desired nothing more than to destroy everything he saw. Friends, families, planets, and even entire galaxies were all in danger of being consumed by this mad god and his heralds. "Come on people, let's go go go!"

"Already got all the Gems ready!" Lapis declared with the Little Homeworld Gems behind her. "You ready, guys?!"

"YEAH!" the Little Homeworld Gems all cheered in reply.

"So this is it." Envyrno proclaimed. "These are the end times."

"At least we all had fun while we lasted." Sylvia Spectre answered sweetly as she contacted her superiors at the Coalition of Galaxies to assist in the final battle. "Now then, are you ready to help others for once?"

"Guess I got no other choice." Envyrno responded with a smirk.

"In any war, there are calms between storms. There will be days when we lose faith." Titanium gave a rousing speech to the other Metals. "But there are also days when a few brave souls unite to save the universe. We can be heroes in our own lives, every one of us, if we only have the courage to try. Now, we must take strength in kindred spirits, not of our species, all true warriors. If not in body, then in spirit. I am Titanium of the Metals, and I send this to the fearsome Squamata. Leave this universe alone. Because we're coming for you."

"Rigby, it's been an honor meeting you." Captain Gearfeet said to Rigby Starglow with a grin. "Say, can you sign my arm? I want to prove to my crew that I was lucky enough to meet you!"

"Okay, you got me." Rigby smirked as he took out a pen and wrote his signature on Gearfeet's cybernetic arm. "Who knows? Maybe we'll run into each other again someday."

"One last call before the apocalypse, everyone!" Sheriff Spiegel said while passing around a flask of alcohol to Deputy Edward, Monty, S-L1M3, Lady Imagineer, the Decimator, Earthos, and Michelle Angelon. "Anybody care for a sip?"

"I'm good." Jasper said as she turned to White Topaz. "Now, are you sure you're comfortable having to work alongside you-know-who again, dear? If you want, I can poof her again."

"No, don't be such a worrywart, honey." White Topaz said before kissing her girlfriend on the cheek. "If she says she wants to change, I trust her with all my heart. Besides, if it weren't for her, I wouldn't be wearing this sick number." She did a twirl to show off her new reformed outfit, now a black wrestling singlet with a big white star on her chest. "You like it?"

"Really fits you." Jasper said before she saw Steven and Black Rutile reunite with the others. "Steven! I've been wondering where you ran off to."

"Is everything alright?" Pearl asked. "We know you're a little uncomfortable around the Diamonds, but we're also aware that you really don't have a choice in the matter. If you're ready to talk with them, we'll make sure that they have enough time to- "

"You're too late, Steven." Garnet bluntly stated. "The Diamonds are already shipping out with the Jormagundrs to face Nosiop." As Garnet concluded her sentence, Steven turned to see the Diamonds, along with Spinel, Hessonite, Citrine, and the royal family, flying off in a big warship outside the castle walls. "Tough break."

"Doesn't matter, as long as all of us are still together." Steven declared. "The Diamonds can wait; we got a universe to save!"

"You got that right." Black Rutile said as she drew her sword and stood alongside the Rutile Rebels, both past and present. "Buckle up, Lucent Gems, today's the day we make a change!"

--

Within an hour or so, more warships began arriving from Alethinophidia, carrying the defenders of Serpentes toward the final battle with Squamata. One ship housed the Crystal Gems, the Rutile Rebels, now dubbed the Lucent Gems, Lars and the Off-Colors, the various competitors in the Contest of Champions, Bialyoom & Meinerr, Aescul, and the Fryman brothers. Another carried the Diamonds, Spinel, Hessonite, the Jormagundr royal family, the Universal Lords, Captain Boa, Flipso, and the Black Pearl Brigade. Finally, a third ship was transporting the Metals into battle.

Squamata and his heralds all turned to discover the three ships in the distance as they descended to the ground and their respective passengers disembarked for the final battle. Meanwhile, the Lapidarist appeared from above in a flash of light to lead the resistance against Squamata.

"So, you finally show yourself, my dear creator." Squamata sneered with a hiss. "What can one speck of light illuminate within the dark abyss that is I, Squamata? Countless stars. Countless worlds. Countless lives. All fell to me, all brought to nothing, and all because of you." With an ominous glow in his eyes, the god of snakes summoned an unstoppable army of darkness to aid in his destruction of the universe. "You and your kind have tried so hard to keep your sins hidden away that you had no idea that there would be souls of darkness who wanted to unleash my wrath upon the universe. You simply could not live with your own failures, and where did that bring you? Back to me."

"You will find that mortals are far more resilient than you believe, Squamata." The Lapidarist declared with a speech of her own. "Look at these people, these mortal beings. Consider their potential! They have done so many amazing things with the short time they have in the universe, yet they always made the most to ensure a brighter future for all! And that future involves you dying once and for all!" She raised her arm to the sky. "CHARGE!"

With that, the Lapidarist's armies raced into battle for the fate of all reality. In the process, Lapis and Jasper fused into Malachite, Cat's Eye and Holly Blue fused into Chrome Chalcedony, Cinnabar and her crew combined into Painite, Black Rutile, and White Topaz fused into Lepidolite, Aquamarine, and Eyeball fused into Bluebird Azurite, and Steven and Lars fused into Stars.

"Okay, just gotta tell the Diamonds I'm not interested!" Stars muttered to himself as he tried running over to Yellow Diamond. "Uh, hey, Yellow, can we talk?"

"Not now, Steven, saving the universe here!" Yellow exclaimed while repelling an army of shadow creatures with a wave of her hand. "Blue, back me up here!"

"Already on it!" Blue replied while firing lasers from her palms. Disappointed that he couldn't talk to the Diamonds yet again, Stars instead focused on helping the other Crystal Gems against Squamata's heralds.

"Hey Steven, neat new fusion!" Peridot complimented Stars's look.

"Thanks, love." Stars replied before summoning his star-shaped bass to fight off the invading army.

"Wait, Steven can fuse with humans other than him and Greg?" White Topaz asked while she and the Lapides held up a water shield to help defend the Metals.

"I guess so." Connie replied. "Bismuth, on your left!"

"Got it!" Bismuth yelled while smacking Velhallen Beo away with a hammer fist.

"Blast you, Gem scum!" Velhallen snarled before lunging at Garnet like a predator. "I've waited centuries to kill a Gem! And you have the honor of being the first!"

"Not quite." Garnet smirked in response. "Malachite, now!" Malachite then took Beo by surprise by snatching him from midair with a water claw and tossing him straight at Torius Vosania.

"Playing hardball, eh?" Beo smirked while firing a giant purple energy beam from his hands that White deflected with her laser eyes, prompting a beam struggle between the two.

Meanwhile, Cobralan, Constricta, Naja, and Boa all stood face to face with Nosiop, Pyth, Mr. Manco, and Torius, the royal family ready to free their son and brother from the Serpent Society's clutches and be a normal family again. "Nosiop, I know you're still in there, my boy." Cobralan reached out to his son. "Please, let your old man into your heart and listen to him."

"Me listen to you?!" Nosiop yelled angrily. "You never listened to what I had to say, so why should I do the same? I legitimately wanted to change our society for the better, but you were so stuck in your traditional ways that you never noticed your own family's feelings!"

"You know, father, he raises a good point." Naja stated.

"And that's why I wanted to talk to you, Nosiop." Cobralan added. "A human told me that I wasn't the best parent towards you. He knows from experience, for he is a father much like me, a father who also debated with himself on whether he was a good parent to his son. But at the end of the day, he accepted that no matter how much he treasured his child, he still needed to grow and change as a man himself. So please, my boy, let me try to be a good parent, and maybe we can work things out. Let us slay Squamata, and together, we can work towards a brighter future for our people."

Nosiop's face dropped as he gazed at his father, now repenting for his past problematic treatment of his son. He finally acknowledged his ignorance of his son's wants and now wanted to make amends. It almost brought a tear to Nosiop's eye and made him want to drop his weapon and return to his family with open arms. But unfortunately, destiny had other plans.

"I believe you've talked with your boy long enough." Pyth smirked while grabbing Nosiop by the shoulder. "Perhaps before you two are reunited, he should slip into something more comfortable. Oh, Squamata! I got a new vessel for you!"

"Excellent, my priest!" Squamata grinned eagerly before he zoomed straight into Nosiop's body through his mouth, forcing his spirit into the young prince and possessing him like the demon he was. As Nosiop was now possessed, his original self was locked away within his mind, and Squamata took control, allowing his new body to grow exponentially in size. With a sadistic grin, Squamatia took his body for a spin by laying waste to the rebellion surrounding him, smacking his tail around and firing lasers from his mouth. "Oh, this is most excellent!"

"Nosiop, sweetie!" Constricta yelled in horror before running for cover.

Before Squamata could cause any more harm to the rebellion, one fusion was brave enough to stand up and defend his friends from harm. Steven immediately un-fused with Lars and fused with Ronaldo so Stevaldo could summon a giant shield to protect them. "Stay away from my friends, Squamata!" Stevaldo announced. "I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the one character in a superhero comic who is genuinely skilled in his own right yet is useless compared to the gods he surrounds himself with! I am Stevaldo, ally to good and nightmare to you!"

"Oh, another fusion with a human?" Squamata smirked in Nosiop's body. "I must admire your creativity, Steven Universe, but it shall not be enough! Bring me the ultimate fusion!"

"Now is your chance, Diamonds, become Gem!" Squamata urged Steven and the Diamonds. "Of course, there is something you need to address first."

"Right." Stevaldo said before un-fusing as Steven continued holding up the shield. "I know you've heard this way too many times before, but the reason why I'm so uncomfortable around you guys is that even though you're trying to make a change, you still don't understand what you've put me through with how you treated Pink and what you did to all those species through covering up what you did!"

"We don't understand? Are you kidding? Us? Of course, we understand. I mean, do you call this a war, this funny little thing?" Yellow declared, snapping Steven out of his funk. "This is only a small scuffle compared to what we endured!"

"We did worse things than you could ever imagine! And when I close my eyes, I hear nothing but the screams of the Gems who gave their lives for us!" Blue added worriedly.

"And you know what you do with all that pain? Shall I tell you where you put it?" White added, clenching her hand for extra emphasis. "You hold it tight till it burns your hand! And you say that no one else will ever have to live like this! No one else will ever have to feel this pain! Not on my watch! So go on, hate us all you like, but that won't change the fact that you would never exist without us! We need you as much as you need us! We're sorry for abusing you for what Pink did! Please forgive us!"

"That's all I needed to hear." Steven smirked in acceptance as he held out his hand to finally make amends with the Diamonds. The other three Diamonds each placed their finger on the hand, and in a brilliant flash of white, yellow, blue, and pink light, Gem was finally reborn after thousands of years.

"I-I'm whole again." Gem gasped while gazing at her massive hands and her surroundings. "I know what I must do." Without even thinking first, Gem zoomed towards Squamata with speed rivaling that of the speeds of light and sound combined before grabbing the possessed prince of Serpentes by the tail and spinning him around in the air before slamming him to the ground. "TAKE THIS!"

"Ah, the original Gem, long have I waited to see you!" Squamata snarled in joy before charging at Gem and attempting to bite her in the forearm, but Gem thought quickly and slapped him away. "Yes, this is just the fight I wanted!"

"It's time for you to surrender, Squamata!" Gem boomed while preparing another. "Let Nosiop go, or we will make you pay the price!"

"However, there is but one mistake you Gems fail to notice." Squamata smirked. "You never know when you'll be taken by surprise." At that moment, Squamata seemed to disappear, and in the next moment, the Lapidarist let out a loud shriek of agony as she keeled over while poison began to spread through her body. "Let us see how you fare without your god to save you!"

"Oh no, Rebeugar!" Gem yelled as she raced back to where the Lapidarist had fallen and un-fused into Steven and the Diamonds to try and save her.

"Thank goodness you got here in time." Captain Boa stated. "I don't think she has much time left after an attack like that took her by surprise."

"Hold on, I can fix this!" Steven exclaimed as he tried using his healing spit to cure Rebeugar of the poison, but to his shock; it didn't seem to work. "Oh no, what's happening? My spit isn't working!"

"That's because Squamata's poison is so lethal; not even your spit can stop it from killing its victims." Cobralan said remorsefully as he laid the Lapidarist to rest. "You can rest now, milady. We'll take it from here."

"I do not know what'll happen after I die. But I know that you are reality's last hope." The Lapidarist said weakly while gazing at Steven and Black Rutile one last time as the poison began killing her. "I was wrong. You two shall make the ultimate fusion that will save us all. My time is short, but I shall leave you with one final message. Everyone, I urge you all, one final time. Believe in Steven."

As the Lapidarist finally died in a flash of light, Steven and Black Rutile looked at each other, knowing exactly what to do. "Are you ready?" Steven asked while offering Black Rutile his hand. "Do you trust me?"

"I do." Black Rutile answered before taking Steven's hand, and the two danced together, glowing so intensely that the light could be seen for miles. The two began to fuse, something neither of them ever thought would've been possible in the past, and the result was an androgynous figure dressed in a conventional superhero costume with intense pink skin and large, curly hair. Could this be it? Could they be the ultimate fusion thousands of years in the making that will destroy Squamata once and for all? Whatever the case, the newly formed Rutilated Quartz had only one thing to say.

"Awesome."

--

Dear god, this chapter was a massive undertaking, but it was all worth it in honor of the show that changed my writing career forever. Well, that along with Gravity Falls and FLCL. Happy anniversary Steven, hope it's a good one. Next chapter will be the final chapter of Snake Eyes, and as I stated earlier, the long-awaited finale of Steven Universe: Alternate Future. Until we meet again for one last adventure, let's see how far we've come and how far we'll go.

[teacherintransition]

A Look Back at Our Anniversary

37 Years and counting …

1983 …forty one years ago. 1985 …thirty nine years ago. 1987 …thirty seven years ago. 1992 …thirty two years ago. 1995 …twenty nine years ago. Events in a family’s life; our lives. When as a young man, such milestones were beyond my ken and comprehension. In this time in our lives, they seem only yesterday. Time is almost impossible to understand and seems only to be a man made construct designed to stress and make one weary. Only now matters …yet, the timeline of struggles and triumphs can’t be ignored nor would I wish such a thing. It made Brent Rich (moi), Kim Rich, Josh Rich, Brendan Rich and Erik Rich who they are …now. That being said, I’m so proud of our timeline and who we are as a family.

By extension and the passage of time, we’ve added to our story: Kaitlyn, Michaela, Brianna, Payton, Sadie, Grayson and Cooper. All of this since 1983 and is now. It’s good to remember what you were so as to love where you are …now. Now, I’m married to a wonderful woman with three sons, four grandchildren and a whole slew of pups. I could never have foreseen such. What follows are a few message exchanges I’ve had with my wife on past anniversaries. From years back but happening …now.

Happy 37th Anniversary I married Kimberly Elaine Hall on May 23rd, 1987. We had tough circumstances; we worked multiple jobs while taking full class loads and raising baby Josh. We were poor ... we lived on less than $5000 a year and needed WIC and other assistance, but we both graduated at the top of our respective classes and Josh discovered he liked beans and no AC. We drove our '79 Ford Granada, that I paid $800 for, until it literally blew .... and we pushed it up the street into our yard. We raised three boys the best we could just being kids ourselves and our marriage took some painful episodes that I didn't know if we'd endure. We bought a modest house and made a life for the Rich family. Heartbreaks, deaths, disasters, struggles occurred as they always do... and sometimes we stayed together for just the kids; but a funny thing happened... we remembered that we liked hanging around each other, that we wanted to try new things , we started saying "no" to others and less to ourselves and we realized we were a good team, great friends and a super husband and wife. We traveled throughout Texas and we traveled the world and made wonderful friends. Who'd thought 36 years would pass so quickly, but it's cool ... we got 36+ more and places to see and things to do ... I guess you'll hang around?

May 23, 1987 ... Kim and I with who were then our close friends got married at First Assembly of God. She first came into my life in February of 1983. It was love at first sight for me as she took my breath away. It would be a hard road of gentlemanly pursuit before my love was no longer an unrequited one. We were forced to grow up too fast and much of youth was lost to us amid multiple jobs, countless hours of class and study, living poor and having heartbreaks too painful to mention. Over the years, we became lost among Boy Scout trips, Soccer, baseball, football, Vacation Bible Schools, homework and my coaching baseball for 12 years. It all seemed a blur.... as our boys grew to men. When the dust settled, there we were, not the same people we were in 1990. We had grown apart but learned about each other as much as a contradiction as this seems. We learned that pain fades as time rolls forward and rediscovery can be an adventure. We became our own best friends as our circle of “friends" began to diminish. We stayed here to look after our parents...but suddenly the world opened up to us and friends of a like mind entered our world and our lives became an 180 degree turn around from what we thought it would be in 1987, 1991, 1996, or 2005. There is no separating one from the other. So, today I celebrate not just 33 years to the same woman, but seeing how many different ways I could love this ever changing beauty. Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary Brent Rich! I can't believe that it has been 30 years. You have so eloquently put into words so many of my same thoughts and feelings. I can't wait to see what t he next 30 bring. More trips Spain,France and back to Scotland and Ireland for sure. I am sure lots of money. But whatever it will be an adventure and we will experience it together. 💏💋❤🌷🥂

[umbrellamedic]

✿ i am trying so hard not to send you so many memes

send me a     ❛   ✿   ❜       and I’ll talk about our muses in some capacity  ;  be it a headcanon or a plot idea that I’d love to write!  you fool; you absolute fool, you've played into my trap- answering memes only makes me happier! >:D

I love AUs, so here's some AU things that could be fun or painful:

Fantasy/Modern Fantasy/any kind of DnD, FF, WoW, YOU GET THE POINT type verse- they have some common goal to complete and the healer sent to accompany Carlos is actually a sadist who is OFFENDED she has a natural affinity for healing. She grew up wanted to be a powerful necromancer, but noooOOOooOOooOoo.

Obligatory Vampire au: A vampire and a hunter must team up to take down some bigger threat to them both- they can totally go back to being enemies after because they won't end up friends that'll be silly. BONUS POINTS: the pale European is not the vampire for once. everyone they come across who can sense the undead just assume it's her because stereotypes.

Post Raccoon City Shamelessly Citing Your Post: while searching for Nikolai, Carlos crosses paths with Shadoloo (NeoShadoloo; either works, whatever). they agree to fund and aid in his search but in return he works for them between following leads/works for them full time after he settles his score with Nikolai. On missions a certain blond is assigned to help him- she has NO CLUE who he is. Bonus: some kind of subplot thing where either Nikolai works for Shadoloo and they hide this fact from Carlos (they're gonna betray him and try to give him the old doll treatment anyways) OR they know where Nikolai is and don't give any of this info to Carlos. They'll pay for him following any leads he finds on his own, but they aren't gonna tell him shit because it's convenient for them to let him keep his memories for intel on Umbrella/BOW shit plot point... reasons... I JUST WANT TWO BROKEN EX-UMBRELLAS AND PAIN

More supernatural bullshit because I can't think of anything else in this moment apparently: Carlos needed a guardian angel to save his life; Michaela- recently kicked out of Heaven- needs a human soul to avoid ended up in Hell/to cloak her from Heaven. Now Carlos is stuck with a fallen angel who doesn't really get how Earth works, but is totally down to keep him alive for purely selfish reasons.

Remnant Remnant Remnant Remnant Remnant Re- Listen. Post-apocalypse; only a small group of heroes to save the world; a rag-tag team, each with their own reasons for putting their life on the line against the Root; discovering the mystery behind how the world went to shit; those are some nice glowing red crystals.... it would be a shame if... they made some assholes... immortal... a bigger shame if they're blindsided by this fact and find out in the most traumatic way possible... the brainrot. is strong. too strong.

[shadowsong26fic]

How Do I Love Thee

Author: shadowsong26

Rating: PG-13

‘Verse: Lux

Characters: Lux, Mariko

Warnings: War/violence/the fire and its fallout.

Notes: Written for the Year of the OTP event. May prompt: flower language. Just little bits and pieces about their feelings/relationship, based (mostly) on a symbolic meaning of each flower. For a couple of them, I used something slightly different (i.e., the physical effect when used as medicine) instead. Not in chronological order; some of these are from their first relationship on the CSP station, and some are from after their reunion.

(I am also going to do this for Star Wars, BSG, and two of my other original ‘verses, if you’re interested in checking those out! One ship per canon. The fanfic ones will be posted to AO3 probably a day or two after they’re on tumblr. Master list of all fills can be found here.)

1. daisy

Lux knows she is not an innocent, of course, and she has never claimed to be; as for her sense of loyalty, well, it depends on how one defines the term, but Mariko--she’s known for some time that, whatever happens, whatever else se might be, her loyalty to her beloved Human is set in stone.

2. narcissus

What Mariko has learned about hope is that it’s only a hairs breadth away from doom and--melodramatic as it sounds, it’s oddly appropriate in her case--damnation; but she would never say that hope--that love--isn’t worth that risk.

3. rose

Sometimes, Mariko isn’t sure what name to give her feelings for her angel--love, of course, but there are so many different kinds and while some obviously don’t fit, there are thousands and thousands of shades of meaning in that one little word that do.

4. violet

Lux is an angel, and angels aren’t men or women the way Humans often are; but Mariko loves women, and Lux is more than pleased to be enough of a woman for her.

5. apple blossom

There is an inherent fragility to Mariko--not just the scars; it was present before she broke and pulled herself together--but the temporary nature of a Human life shines through her, beautiful and brief, and there are times--many times--when Lux can’t stand the thought of how quickly all of this will end.

6. goldenrod

Mariko has always had at least a bit of a sense of adventure, enough to take her across galaxies into places most people barely dreamed of--and enough to let her meet, and love, and follow Lux.

7. mimosa

Kindness is such an odd thing to contemplate; it’s impossible to forget how things ended the first time, and Lux’s war drives her to do many things that even the most optimistic couldn’t call kind, but there are moments between them, little flashes of care like rays of sunlight, that shine through, for Mariko, even on their darkest days.

8. larkspur

They don’t say the words often--not because it’s not something they need or want to hear, but because, by the time they’re there again, by the time Mariko is ready, there are so many other ways they can make their feelings known.

9. lily

They never discussed the possibility of children.

10. baby's breath

Starting over is such a painful thing--they both know that, so when Mariko joins Lux on her ship and they leave Red Sky together, both of them know to move slowly, carefully, to avoid crushing whatever potential they might now have.

11. coneflower

Lux would have thought she’d hate the feeling of any other being’s hands on the scars Michaela left when her wings were broken--but Mariko’s touch, soft and light and gentle, brings her almost a sense of peace.

12. gardenia

Lux has always promised to protect her, but as they find their way back to each other, Mariko sometimes lies awake at night, next to her beloved angel, and wonders how the hell she’s going to protect her.

13. peony

Lux wants nothing but the good fortune and joy for her Mariko; if that means walking away, she will learn to live with the loss somehow.

14. phlox

Despite all the differences between them, something undefinable just fits between them; lining up the rough edges of their hearts into perhaps not something seamless, but certainly something whole.

15. lilac

Mariko has always been somewhere between agnostic and atheist, and now she walks with literal angels--but is it really spiritual, is it really faith if everything about Lux and Gabriel and Simon and all of it is so very tangibly real?

16. safflower

For all the pain and fear and grief and guilt, there also is so much joy, just in looking across the cockpit of their ship and seeing her smile.

17. sweet pea

The first night they spend together is a new experience for both of them, but--God, is it a good one.

18. tuberose

There’s always been a bit of danger in Mariko’s attraction to Lux--emotional danger, in that interspecies relationships so rarely end well, and the power and myth and power of myth, though that comes later.

19. tulip

It may not be enough to save them, or protect them, or guide them through the war to come, but Mariko and Lux truly, deeply love each other, and that matters.

20. chrysanthemum

There are turning points, and crossroads, because that’s life; only once, after the fire when the horror and the pain and the regret were overwhelming, have they chosen to turn away from one another.

21. bluebell

Lux knows that this second war may well end with her death, but the Holy One has said that some things last beyond death, and she likes to think that her love for her Mariko might be one of those things.

22. foxglove

For weeks before either of them actually says anything, Mariko’s heart races whenever Lux is close; angel’s hearts are built a little differently, but metaphorically, if nothing else, the same is true for Lux.

23. snapdragon

Lux has lied when necessary--it’s in her nature to do what is necessary; it takes a grace and strength she hardly knew she had to tell Mariko the entire truth.

24. orchid

Mariko might sometimes feel small and awkward next to the preternatural grace and elegance of her lover, but when Lux looks down at her, she only sees her light.

25. freesia

Trust is hard, after everything Lux has lived through over the eons, after everything Mariko suffered when it ended the first time; but the Holy One knows they never stop trying.

[urbzhq]

hi can I have some fc suggestions for the foundry and neon east ?

Of course! Sorry that this is a lil late babe, I was on elf duties the past two days but here we go --

THE FOUNDRY -

Luka Sabbat, Tommy Martinez, Brigette Lundy-Paine, Anna Lambe, Omari Douglas, Mena Massoud, Archie Renaux, Jeremy Allen White, Dylan Arnold, Maya Hawke, Jenna Ortega, Felix Millard, Zendaya Coleman, Jordan Alexander, Michaela Coel, Vanessa Morgan, Andrew Garfield

NEON EAST -

Alexa Demie, Avan Jogia, Hunter Schafer, Josie Totah, Khadijha Red Thunder, Jonny Beauchamp, Indya Moore, Brianne Tju, Zoey Deutch, Lizeth Selene, Camila Mendes, Zion Moreno, Jorge Lopez, Yara Shahidi, Chase Sui Wonders, Dylan  O’Brien, Brianne Tju

[marloweandme]

Let the Dream Descend

Tagging → Zach (Mentions of @laurenlansing​, @mr-isaac-hale​ and others)

Time Frame → February 13, 2017

Summary → He really shouldn’t have fallen asleep with the TV on.

“Zach?”

“Hey buddy.”

“Zachhhhh.”

“Dude, let’s go.”

“You were supposed to kiss me, Zach.”

“We should watch a zombies movie.”

“Why didn’t you kiss me?”

With a gasp, Zach jolted awake, the bowl of popcorn that had been resting on his chest now laying in a mess on the floor. Sweat trickled down his forehead as he sighed, rubbing a hand down his face before running shaky fingers through his hair. 

“The hell was that.” He muttered to himself, soon getting up to start picking up the pieces of popcorn that were now laying all over the floor and beanbag. Before he could do much else, however, he heard a low creaking noise. Tired eyes went wide as he watched the door to his dorm room slowly open. The hallways glowed faintly of red and what looked like smoke seemed to be billowing out to greet his bare feet. 

“What the...”

Zach grabbed his phone from off the beanbag and turned on the flashlight to it before stepping out into the hallway. The glow seemed to be coming from down around the corner. Part of him wanted to go check out to see what was happening and the other part of him was telling him that, NOPE, he should get out of there right now. As he turned to go back inside, he heard something that made him stop dead in his tracks. 

A voice. 

“Do you trust me?”

Blinking in confusion, the young man made his way down the hall, phone held up to try and see if anything was going to jump out and grab him. What? He’d seen too many horror movies with Isaac. He was prepared, okay. As he turned the corner, he half expected to see Satan or something, what with the red ambiance and smoke billowing from seemingly every corner. But what greeted him was something completely different. 

Lauren. 

There she was, standing in the middle of the dance floor holding a red rose and wearing her red dress. The very same red dress she’d warn to the Valentine’s Day dance. The very same dance that he’d asked her to because he’d... Liked...

Zach stopped mid thought, looking down at himself only to see that the phone was no longer in his hand, that his feet were no longer bare and that he was in the same suit he’d warn to the dance. As his gaze focused upwards once more, Zach found Lauren directly in front of him once more. His right hand found the small of her back, pulling her close to him as his left found purchase with her right. 

The music slowly began to build, the only thing that was distinct in his mind, save for Lauren. He couldn’t even really hear people singing, it sounded so far away. Except for the music. He led them on the dance floor, in a more dominant manner than he ever had when he danced. It seemed that all previous notions of being fearful of dance had fled from his mind. Before this could go too far, the music shifted and he could vaguely make out a girl singing somewhere from the stage. 

Lauren was now staring at him directly, moving with more fluidity and grace than he knew she possessed. The woman who was singing seemed to get more passionate and it was then that something seemed to catch his eye. Turning his head slightly, he caught someone walking around the edges of the dance floor, hands behind their back. 

Isaac. 

The boy’s eyes were on him and Zach didn’t know how to feel because Lauren was demanding his attention, demanding to be remembered. Demanding, demanding, demanding. Before he could even think about what was happening, the music began to swell and Isaac was right next to him. Nina was dancing with Isaac but he still wasn’t looking at her, wasn’t acknowledging his partner. 

The pace seemed to pick up, well-timed dips and spins were added in as time seemed to fade away. He realized as he was spinning Lauren once, twice, three times, that the man and women on the stage were singing together now. His heart pounded in his chest as Zach dipped Lauren, right hand dangerously high on her thigh as he held her there for a moment, feeling Isaac’s eyes on him. 

As he pulled her back up, the music began to get softer, sweeter. The man was singing now on stage and Zach found himself pulling Lauren to him, hands on her hips as her arms wrapped around his neck. The breath caught in his throat as he looked down at her. 

“Sometimes... A romance is better.”

“Yeah.” Lauren locked eyes with him before letting eyelids flutter shut as she leaned upwards. “Romance is better.”

His nose brushed against hers, their breaths intermingling and he could almost taste her lips as his eyes closed. It was then that something went horribly wrong. The music became frighteningly loud and Lauren was no longer before him. Instead she was being pulled away by a hooded figure, screaming for Zach. 

“Lauren!” Zach called out, fingers just managing to brush against hers before she was pulled into the now swirling red canopy that seemed to be slowly engulfing the room. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and Isaac was there, tie hanging loosely from his neck with Nina nowhere in sight. Zach’s face turned up in confusion, not at all sure what was going on. The music continued to grow louder in his ears and he could faintly hear the sounds of screaming and something shattering. He didn’t know where it was coming from. Could only smell smoke, feel the heat of flames that were getting closer and closer to the two of them. 

“Zach, we have to go!”

“But she was right there! She was about to... We were about to--”

“You got to let her go man. Don’t you want someone who knows you better than anyone? Don’t you get it, Zach? I’m the one here beside you. She left.” Isaac seemed to plead, tugging at Zach’s arm. “I’m still here!”

Zach turned to look back at Isaac, the flames rushing towards them quicker by the second. Despite what he felt in his chest for Lauren, something far stronger than what he’d felt was making him grab onto Isaac’s outstretched hand.

“Okay.” 

Isaac smiled at him for one seemingly bright moment before the flames engulfed his body and all that was left was the hooded figure. Zach recoiled instantly, dropping the shadowy figure’s hand. 

“Who are you?” He cried out, the room swirling with a heat he had never felt before. “Why are you doing this?!” All that he could hear was the maniacal laughter then blinding pain as the flames finally touched his skin. 

“Zach!”

With a shout, Zach woke up, flinging himself off the bean bag and landing face first on the floor. A movie played in the background, something that must have come on the channel after his own had finished. A man was singing and looking angry as he led a woman somewhere. No thanks. 

Groaning, Zach turned the TV off and looked at one of the kids that lived on his hall who apparently had barged into the room to make sure he was okay.

“Hey man. Sorry, I just... Had the weirdest dream.”

The other boy rolled his eyes and shut the door but not before calling something out over his shoulder. 

“Whatever, just fucking stop screaming all right? Some of us have tests tomorrow.”

Zach nodded, shaking his head as he stood from the floor, his body aching from the sleeping position he’d clearly succumbed to for the last god knows how long. As he tried to remember the dream, it slowly slipped away from him, as all dreams do when you try to remember their details. All that he could remember was laughter and flames. 

Shrugging, Zach grabbed his phone and headed to go take a shower. He needed to get his mind off of the dream and he needed to look halfway decent before Isaac got back. A cheesy grin slid on his face at the thought of the boy who he’d fallen for. As he left the room, the door slammed on his way out, knocking something off onto the floor behind him. 

Something that once held significance to him before the dance. 

Something that looked a lot like a single red rose.

[deans-baby-momma]

The Story of Us-Chapter 19

A/N: This is a rewrite of a story my good friend @spnbaby-67 allowed me to take and rewrite. All mistakes are mine. This is canon divergent, meaning some things that happened in the show will still happen here but with my own twist to it.

Summary: She and Dean met when they were kids. Even at such a young age, she knew that he was her soulmate. Being the daughter of a hunter, Michaela (Micki) Singer knew the life he led came with a price, but she was up to the challenge.

Pairings: Dean Winchester/reader, Sam Winchester/friend!reader, John Winchester, Mary Winchester (mentioned only), Bobby Singer

Warnings: Flashbacks are in italics, fluffy stuff, angst stuff, character death, depression, semi-dark themes

A/N2: And another chapter without a flashback

Singer Cabin (Fall 2008)

Dean and Micki take a nap while Maren sleeps comfortably between them. Unfortunately for Dean his sleep is plagued with vision of the torture and torment he endured in Hell.

From being strung up and sharp objects piercing his body to his extremities being severed to the mental anguish of listening to Alastair, his antagonist bully, spewing words of hatred and repugnance; of each time a limb was ripped from his being it grew right back for the pain and affliction to start right back over. 

It is a fitful sleep and he wakes himself up, sweat covering his trembling body. Dean gets out of bed and, after securing Maren so she couldn't roll off the mattress, goes to the bathroom. 

He feels ill and his stomach churns as he recollects his dream, feeling the effects of his sufferings. He looks in the mirror and sees a broken down, beat man staring back at him.

How is he going to be a good father to that little girl in the next room? How will he be able to keep them both safe? He is sure he couldn't keep them from getting hurt,  or worse, killed and he silently curses Castiel and whoever else is responsible for bringing him back. He should've stayed in Hell! He should never have come back.

Looking at his reflection one last time, he raises his fist and pulls his arm back, punching the mirror and shattering his image.

Micki startles awake at the sound of glass breaking. She looks around, disoriented and confused.  She knows when she dozed off Dean had been in bed with her, right? She hadn't dreamed of him coming back? His return had been so real that she could smell him, smell his musk. 

She looks down at Maren, their perfect little girl and mourns that the baby would never know how great a man her father was. Dean would never get to see what a perfect child they created.  Tears fill her eyes as she realizes it had just been a dream. He couldn't come back from the dead. It just wasn't possible!

The baby is sleeping so peacefully, drool bubbling between her lips with each breath.  Micki notices the pillow propped up on the opposite side of the bed and thinks to herself, 'I don't remember putting that there' and then she hears a commotion in the ensuite bathroom.

Taking in an anxious breath, she yells for Sam. Sammy, who has been by her side from the time they buried the love of her life to the moment her daughter was born to moving to the cabin. Sam has been her rock, her salvation.

"Sam!"

Thankfully,  Maren stays asleep even when it sounds like a moose is stampeding through the cabin. But before he makes it to her, Micki's attention is drawn to the other side of the room when the bathroom door opens.

Her eyes widen and she gasps, slapping and over her mouth. It wasn't a dream! Dean is here, he is back! Tears stream down her face as he rushes to her side of the bed and pulls her into his arms.

"Shhhh, baby. I got you," he consoles as he hugs her tightly. "I'm right here."

Micki sobs into his chest, soaking his shirt in her tears. "Dean? Is this real? I'm not dreaming again am I?"

"No sweetheart. I'm here," he confirms to her. "I'm real."

Micki pulls back and looks up at him, into his emerald eyes that she loved-loves-so much. "How?"

After being quarantined to her room by Dean, Micki finally gets to leave her ‘jail’ and return to the front room of the cabin, where Sam and Bobby greet her; Dean follows behind while holding Maren.

Once she is situated on the sofa, she takes the baby from Dean and settles the infant on her lap.

“Okay,” she says, looking up at the three more important men in her life. “Spill. How the hell is Dean back from….well, Hell?”

“An angel of the Lord pulled me out of the pit because well, I don’t know exactly. He said he would be in touch.”

It isn’t Micki nor Bobby who speaks up but Sam, when they hear Dean’s story. “An angel? You saw and talked to an angel?!”

Dean turns his head to look at his brother. “So he says. Said his name was Castiel. Biggest cocksucker I’ve ever met if you ask me.”

“Dean,” Micki says, drawing his attention back to her. “I’m really happy, fuck I’m goddammned ecstatic that you’re back…..but that sounds all kinds of ominous.”

“Yea, I know,” Dean says as he sits down beside her, wrapping one arm around her shoulders and grabbing Maren’s little hand with his. “I don’t know when he will contact me again or if he even will. I just don’t know. So much is up in the fucking air right now.”

Bobby, who had taken to the table while Dean was telling them what he knew, flipped the pages of an old tomb and then exclaims, “Balls!”

“What is it dad?”

“Upon the command from on high, an angel can pull a soul from the depths of Hell and return it to the original body. Castiel is part of a garrison in Heaven that abides whatever the archangels declare. Some of the others are Benjamin, Mirabel, Ishim and others.

"Dean," Bobby says as he closes the book and sighs.  "He might be telling the truth."

"The hell he is!! Ain't no way I was fucking touched by an angel!"

Sam speaks up from the other side of the room,  where he's been quietly observing it all. "That mark on your arm is proof otherwise. "

Micki turns and looks at her boyfriend, her eyes wide and questioning. "What mark?"

Dean rolls his eyes before taking his arm from around her and lifts his shirt sleeve. The handprint seared into his skin is still red and puffy and tender to the touch. 

Micki traces the outline of the imprint, causing Dean to hiss and flinch.

"Wow! I never believed in angels but babe," she says looking at Dean. "This is pretty irrefutable proof."

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss​ @spnbaby-67​ @tftumblin​ @sea040561​ @delightfullykrispypeach​ @larajadeschmidt13​ @atc74​ @vicariouslythruspn​ @squirrelnotsam​  @sandlee44​ @blacktithe7​ @hoboal87​ @mogaruke​ @deanwanddamons​ @supraveng​ @deandreamernp​ @akshi8278​ @lyarr24​ @maggiegirl17​ @chriszgirl92​

[fckwritersblock]

Protection Forever - William Lennox

Lennox x Reader

Description: Running into an old flame at the worst possible time.

Warning: nah. Bad writing? Kinda. Unedited because I was excited. I’ll not when it’s been fixed. Somethings may not be fully aligned with the movie but I tried 😩

Word count: 2500+

Dedicated to @merakiaes hey fren!

All gifs from @meragifs too!

You were an EMT.

The two of you pulled up to meet with the other Autobots, you exiting the vehicle before he transformed. You were in awe as he and the rest of the cars all changed.

The biggest one, their leader, gave a rundown of everything that was happening once he confirmed Sam’s identity. This was just a recap for you as Ratchet had already explained. The teenage boy just stood there stuttering not really knowing how to process everything and you frowned again. That was when you really took notice of two teens just standing there. Having known what was expected of Sam Witwicky you frowned slightly.

“I don’t know about this Ratchet, he’s just kid.” You commented to the alien you had formed a quick bond with.

“And who might you be?” The one called Optimus inquired.

You gave him your name before the other yellow autobot, who you’d later learned was Bumble Bee, uttered something through his radio. It was hard for you to hear but the other robots seemed to be use to it as Ratchet responded immediately.

“The human. I like her.” Ratchet sounding irritated.

Bumblebee made another comment and right before Ratchet could respond one of the others chimed in.

“Wait why do they get humans?” Jazz asked incredulously. “I want one too!”

“Enough! Humans are not pets.” The one call Optimus Prime stated sternly, clearly tired of their bickering. You held your laugh, highly amused.

They were like siblings. A family.

“Exactly I’m just here to help and be a better tour guide than these kids can be.” You confirmed practically forcing your services on them. “Besides they need adult supervision. From the looks of it, you all do.” You grinned at everyone around you. Optimus gave a nod, agreeing.

“She stays. Let’s move.”

In that short amount of time things moved rather quickly. You watched the Autobots accidentally destroy Sam’s backyard when attempting to retrieve the glasses, you were all arrested, you escaped thanks to the Autobots, only to be arrested again.

Fail.

Finally you ended it some secret base. How get you weren’t alone. The government had apparently been on a roll with kidnapping civilians who “knew too much “.

Things weren’t going great but quickly went left when the Decepticons, the Autobot rivals, came to retrieve Megatron.

A war from another planet had officially made Earth its battleground.

You were nervous, trying to figure out how to calm everything down before things started to escalate. Nobody was going to get anywhere with all the bickering. That’s when you saw him.

It had been what? Two years?

Still, without even knowing it, without even knowing you were present, he was still able to make your heart be slow and fast at the same time. The army had aged him, but for the better making him all the more attractive but you couldn’t focus on that right now. Especially when you heard:

“The cryogenic system is failing! We're losing NBE One!”

All the soldiers begin to pack everything that they could to prepare in a fight the way they always did. It was an mirable the way Linux game orders in his men took them without a second thought. The trust there.

“That’s good. Get all the ammo you got.”

“Everything you can carry. Bring it.”

Tearing your eyes away from your former lover you grab Sam.

“Come on, we need Bee.” You reminded him, nodding in Simmons direction

“You got to take me to my car.” Sam said, then repeated when he was ignored. “You have to take me to my car. He’s gonna know what to do with the Cube.”

“Your car? It's confiscated.”

“Then unconfiscate it.” You stared blankly.

“We do not know what will happen if we let it near this thing! -“

“You don't know.”

“Maybe you know, but I don't know.”

You rolled your eyes at the insufferable mans rambling.

This was really was more about ego who was in control more than anything. The guy running the ship, clearly was on a power trip. Unfortunately for him he was facing off against soldiers . The Captain who’s eyes you could feel staring at the side of your face.

A Captain and his soldiers. Ones that really dont like to lose and take serving their country seriously.

The guy who arrested you earlier continue to argue with Sam about getting him back to bumblebee when Lennox finally pulled out his gun sick of the back-and-forth.

“Take him to his car!”

As soon as he did so all hell broke loose and everyone from both parties pulled out a weapon.

“Drop it!”

It wasn’t until One of the sector seven agents pointed a gun at the back of Will’s head that you disable to another agent and took his gun and pointed it directly and held it directly at the one pointing the gun at your ex.

“I really wouldn’t.” You warned.

You were no soldier, but Will have taught you plenty before you broke up. So did your brother, before he passed away. He actually served alongside Will but died in combat. Biking. That’s part of why you were so hurt when Will re-enlisted. When he got promoted to Captain and chose the army over you. You were terrified of losing him the way you lost your brother. The break up wasn’t that messy but you both said things you didn’t mean. In attempts to mask your own pain and hurt one another.

You know. Hurt people, hurt people.

It’s still came to no surprise that you put a bullet in someone to protect him. Together or not you’d never let anything happen to him.

“I'm ordering you under S-Seven executive jurisdiction-“ Simmons ranted.

“S-Seven don't exist.” You interjected, earning a quick appreciative glance from Will.

“Right. And we don’t take orders from people that don’t exist.”

“I’m gonna count to 5. Okay-“ Simmons attempted to threat yet again.

“Well, I’m gonna count to three.” Will deadpanned.

You knew that look. God did you know that look and it was so wrong that you were so turned on.

Finally the Secretary of defense interfered telling Simmons to do what was being asked of him. Everyone relaxed slight, weapons lowering.

“Y/n,”

“Captain.”

The Captain and couldn’t help but watch you how do you get up and prepare to go.

“So that’s her huh?” Epps commented as Will watched you run off with Sam.

“Yeah..” Will answered, mind racing.

While he knew he’d eventually see you again, he didn’t think it would be like this. You looked breath taking.

“Damn. Shorty had your back that entire time.”

“Gear up,”

“What I’m just saying I thought she was gonna put a cap in his.” Epps shouted after his Captain receiving no response.

Will knew you had his back, you always would, the same way he would always have yours. He thought of you often, the break up between two inescapable, never feeling like he did the right thing. You were always not too far from the front of his mind. Him wondering how you were doing. If you were happy. If you found somebody else. There was no doubt he regretted what had transpired between the two of you. It was his fault. He knew that. You knew that. He had ample opportunity to fight for you and he didn’t. When he was promoted Captain he felt he had to choose between you and the army. He didn’t choose you the way he should’ve. In reality he could’ve had both. However hr so caught up proven himself to his deadbeat dad that he possibly let the best thing that ever happened to him go.

Not to mention trying to atone for your brothers death. It wasn’t his fault, but he still couldn’t shake it. So without talking to you he reenlisted. Needless to say where that got him.

Now hear the both of you were in the middle of an alien war. Yeah. This is the last place he thought he’d see you.

You were numb. The battle on the highway enough to freak you out. For mommy, just a moment you thought this might be a dream but no. This is all very real. One minute you guys were just entering the city trying to lay low, next thing you know - BOOM! The explosion knocked all of you over, injuring some, killing a few. Bumblebee’s legs were partially blown off.

Getting up off the pavement you waited for the ringing in your ear to subside as you stood up, trying to study yourself when you felt a pair of arms hold you still.

You knew it was Will just by the way he touched you, you blinked hard trying not to go down memory lane.

“Are you okay?” The concern in his voice was enough to make your heart skip a bear.

“Yeah,” you nodded slowly. “Yeah I’m fine.”

Slowly you removed yourself from his grip and went to check on Sam and Mikaela. Ratchet on the other hand -

“Hmm. His pheromone levels are-“ you quickly turned on him and glared.

“Ratchet I’ll turn you into a can opener if you don’t shut the hell up.”

The robot nearly held his hands up in the surrendering position as he followed you. Will had arranged an aircraft to pick up Sam and the cube while everyone else defended themselves against the deceptive cons in a hurry to get the cube far far away before Megatron arrived. Sam was in a panic and so Michaela, you could see Will’s short fuse getting ready to exploded. It was then you decided to be an escort.

“Sam, you can’t do this alone.” Michaela fussed.

“He won’t be alone.” You commented, causing all parties involved to look at you.

“I’m going with you.” You declared.

“No.” Will didn’t even hesitated as he stepped closer to you.

“Captain Lennox-“

“No!” You grabbed him by the front of his beer and pushed him back.

“Do you see what going on out there?!” You continued to hold on to him and you yelled at him over there chose. “We’re at a war. One we are extremely ill prepared for. So get your shit together! Sam is my responsibility. I have to get this kid to safety.”

This time your hands slid up the side of his face forcing him to look at you.

“Y/n..” he breathed out leaning down toward you, and for the first time during all this madness you could visibly see he was afraid.

“I’ll be back, Will.” You assured him, briefly resting your forehead against his.

Gathering himself he pulled away, looking toward Sam then back at you.

“Go. Go!”

And then we were running.. With nothing but an M16 strapped to your back and the pistol in your hand, you ran faster than you ever have before.

The four of you were under attack once more, you and Sam doing what you had to, to avoid getting snatched up as a fight Ironhide and Ratchet defended you. Unfortunately you were too close to one of the cars that went up in flames and you were thrown into another car from the blast.

“Y/n!” You could feel the blood on your forehead as you slowly pushed yourself up. As you tried to stand you immediately stopped feeling the pain in your thigh. Looking down could see the damage that had been done. The blood surrounding the afflicted area.

“Wha- what, what do i do?!” Sam asked frantically once he took notice of your injury.

“You gotta keep going Sam. I’ll be fine.”

He stood fo his feet, unsure of what to do. When Ironhide told him the same thing.

“Go!” You screamed once more.

Sam left and continued to run without you as you, as quickly as possible, as you tore your focus away from him to pull the shard of glass in your leg out. Ripping a piece of your shirt off you tightly tied it around your thigh in order to stop the bleeding. There was no point in going forward now but the return back to everyone else and help them fight.

You just had to avoid getting killed in the process.

You seen a car steering wheel, a Mountain Dew vending machine and and Xbox all turn into one of those freaky ass robots right before your eyes. All of which you helped others fight off. It was so surreal. In fact, if it wasn’t for the constant ringing in your ear from all the explosions you definitely think you were dreaming. You almost made it back to Lennox and his men when another Decepticon stood between between you and your destinations. They were definitely taking a beating. You saw Epps shooting a green laser indicating the robot that doubled as a helicopter wasn’t a friendly and decided to do what you could to keep the Decepticon from getting any closer to them and hurting any more civilians. In an attempt to draw it away from everyone else, you begin to fire your weapon giving it everything you had.

Unfortunately, the side effective taking its attention off the others meant putting the attention on you.

You ran trying to duck and dodge a bullets now directed your way.

But Will. Will’s heart dropped. Seeing you there defending yourself alone. His pause was brief, the air forces plan already in motion, before he started the motorcycle and was speeding in your direction.

“William!” You screamed for him fearfully as he drove straight toward the robot.

The only thing you could hear was your heartbeat pounding in your ears. You almost couldn’t breathe, you don’t remember the last time you ever felt so scared in your life. But it wasn’t your life you feared for was it?

He rushed forward and slid under the robot continuing to firing the launcher. All you could do was watch as he drove toward you. Toward the danger your mind wondering if he did that on a regular basis. Was this the life of a soldier? What he went through day after day when he was deployed?

Standing up he only spared the parts of the dismembered robot a glance before shouting and turning looking for you. In a matter of seconds he was standing directly in front of you and pulling you into his arms.

Relief.

There was nothing like physically being about to touch someone, hold someone to really know they were okay.

“So…” you began, suddenly feeling nervous. “...That was hot-“

Before you were able to get another word in, he captured your lips with his kissing you roughly and bringing you closer, hands on the small of your back. You couldn’t help it kiss him back just as fiercely put in every emotion you had into that kiss.

Every ounce of passion he had in body, put into this kiss, your lips just as soft, kiss just as pure as he remembered. When you kissed, he knew he was a goner and could never let you go again.

It has been two years since the last time you guys have been this close. This intimate. Reconnected. The feeling it gave you, the indescribable feeling, was one neither one of you ever wanted to forgo again. Pulling back slowly, you both had smiles on your faces, Will pulling you closer to plant a kiss on your forehead.

“Excuse me,” Epps interrupted.

The both of you turning your attention on him.

“As cute as this shit is it’s highly inappropriate in the middle of the battle. I’m just saying we are trying to stay alive and shit.”

———————————————

Oh my fu- I don’t even know what this isssss

Couldn’t tell you what my original ideas was or nothing. I believed this was going to short-

I enjoyed writing it though! Shoutout again to @merakiaes for being on this lennox train with me lol

I’m just....I’m just gonna leave this mess here.

Bye

- Mo

—————————-

Tags: @merakiaes @lilythemadqueen

[andrewmoocow]

Little Homeworld Life chapter 17: Little Homeworld Idol (originally published on April 17, 2023)

AN: I have to admit, I'm not that much of a songwriter in the sense that I don't write many original songs. I usually prefer to make themed parodies of existing songs, like a parody of You'll Be Back from Hamilton themed around The Terminator! That said, Steven Universe has some amazing songs and I really hope to capture the spirit of Aivi and Surasshu's compositions in the songs you shall hear, er, read today. I'll try my best here, please give me the benefit of the doubt.

Synopsis: The Gems hold a talent competition.

Cast:

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Tiger's Eye

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, Volleyball

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Jennifer Paz as Lapis

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Jon Wurster as Marty

T-Pain as Sam Galley

Gal Gadot as Desert Glass

Willa Holland as Albite

Maddie Ziegler as Serpentine

Courtenay Taylor as Beryl

Billie Eilish as Turquoise

Featuring Tim Gunn as Tristan Wheeler

With RuPaul as Willie McCarthy

Christian Slater as Brock Ridley

And Emily King as Kunzite

--

"Welcome one and all to our very first Little Homeworld Idol!" Bismuth's voice declared as spotlights shined on the Beach-A-Palooza stage. "We got ourselves an impressive roster of singers here tonight, but first, let us get introduced to our judges!"

"First off, we have the Broadway sensation and star of classics like Death of a Salesman, Angels in America, and Cats, Brock Ridley!" A scruffy, long-nosed man in a red knit cap with a five o'clock shadow sat at the judges' stand with his legs kicked up on the table.

"Thank you, thank you, everybody." Brock Ridley thanked his adoring fans of humans and Gems. "This was not how I'd expect to spend my day, but I'll take what I can get."

"Next up is the fashion model, reality show host, and gender-nonconforming icon, Willie McCarthy!" A handsome and bald dark-skinned man dressed in an extravagant suit started blowing kisses to his fans.

"Pleasure to be here, my friends." Willie said as they struck a pose for his fans. "And be sure to catch my lifestyle reality series What A Drag, Wednesday nights on The DW!"

"Next up, it's famous fashion designer, animal rights activist, and academic Tristan Wheeler!" The spotlights shined next on an aged fellow in a black suit and glasses, who politely waved to the audience.

"Good evening, everybody." Tristan Wheeler greeted the viewers while straightening his suit. "Let's have a good clean competition, shall we?"

"And for our final judge, we have…." Bismuth announced before her showmanship faltered in absolute confusion. "Marty?! How did he get here?!"

"Hey, sorry I'm late, everybody!" Marty exclaimed as he pulled up a steel chair to sit beside the judges. "I just flew in from Keystone and my arms sure are tired!"

"Who let him here?" Pearl asked as the Crystal Gems and Sam Galley stood backstage.

"Hey, don't forget who's sponsoring this event!" Marty yelled before turning on one of the monitors to read, "LITTLE HOMEWORLD IDOL, BROUGHT TO YOU BY COOKIE CAT. HE'S THE PET FOR YOUR TUMMY!"

"I was the guy who organized this event! How did I not see that?!" Sam exclaimed at the monitor. Further backstage, the Rutile Rebels had gathered for Black Rutile's latest scheme.

"This is utterly genius! Thanks to my genius manipulations, I have convinced that talent agent to put this shlock together and make the Crystal Gems believe this was all his idea! Humans love competition, which should be a perfect excuse to gather more supporters!" Black Rutile proclaimed eagerly. "And naturally, we should also be performing our own song."

"What are you suggesting, my Rutile?" Holly Blue asked.

"Cat, hand me your phone." Black Rutile commanded the feline-like former attorney as she was handed Cat's smartphone and presented her minions with social media threads galore. "In my extensive research of the social media sites these humans love so much, it seems that the musicians that are lusted after the most are Korean boy bands and male pop stars." Scrolling through more posts, Black Rutile saw many ways for people to express their adoration of these celebrities. "Usually, they express their worship of these young men through writing fanfiction of real people or making what they call "fan-cams" of them."

"Wait, you can write fanfiction about real people?" Eyeball asked confusedly. "But aren't they, you know, real?"

"Exactly, but apparently, that doesn't matter to them." Black Rutile replied. "More to the point, that is why we shall emulate these performers for our act and earn ourselves the most applause when it is time for us to perform. Afterward, we shall reap the rewards and drown in how many new followers we gain!"

"Oh, that is utterly splendid!" Aquamarine cheered and clapped at her master's brilliant idea. "This might be one of your best plans yet, my Rutile!"

"Yes, yes, I am a genius. I'm well aware of that." Black Rutile blushed cutely. "Now then, get to work on preparing our act!"

--

"So, who are you guys betting on to win this?" Tiger's Eye asked as she sat down in the audience with Desert Glass, Albite, Serpentine, and Beryl. "I'm personally placing my money on Lapis!"

"Ooh, a duet between Amethyst and Jasper." Desert Glass replied with interest. "I wonder how utterly chaotic it will be."

"I'd like to see what Black Rutile has planned." Albite added. "I think I heard she has something big planned!"

"They got a special surprise performance at the end! I want to know who it is!" Beryl cheered excitedly.

"Good evening everyone, and welcome to Little Homeworld Idol." Garnet announced as she stood on stage. "Tonight, we are going to have Gems demonstrate their musical skills to see who is the most talented, judged by a panel of experts. And Marty."

"I've always wondered about the musical talents of extraterrestrials." Willie stated as the first performers took to the stage. "Okay, you two, give us some names. We're wasting daylight here!"

"My name is Amethyst, this is Jasper, and we're gonna sing a little sibling duet!" Amethyst announced while holding out a cane for Jasper to take. "Hit it, sis!"

"Understood." Jasper obeyed before smashing a hole in the stage.

"No, I meant to hit the music, as in turn it on." Amethyst corrected the orange Gem.

"You know, you could've just said "Turn on the music" instead." Jasper replied before she turned on a jazzy, big-band tune. "You know, Amethyst, being so small really gives you a leg up on the world!"

"Oh, you bet, sistah!" Amethyst proclaimed before she started singing while spinning her cane. "A little guy like me can see what others can't see! Yet being so tall makes you want to have a ball!"

"You may be a total shrimp, but you have lots of heart!" Jasper added. "But I'd be nothing if we were apart!"

"The two of us, so different, yet also so alike!" the two quartzes sang harmoniously while forming a kickline. "Someone better call the shop, because we'd like a bike! We want a bike!"

"Yeah, if I could be anything," Amethyst declared. "In this great big world we call home."

"The only thing I wouldn't be is forever alone!" Jasper added. "Alone, alone, alone, alone!"

"Just you and me against the world!" Amethyst kept singing. "Just the two of us, my girl!"

"Big or small, we'd still have it all!" Jasper and Amethyst concluded. "Big or small, we'd still have it all!" The two took a bow, followed by the crowd going wild.

"Hey, you weren't half bad there." Amethyst said to Jasper. "A little rusty, but you really carried this song."

"I made up most of these lyrics on the spot. Bear with me here." Jasper whispered back.

"Okay, I'm not that much into big band stuff, and it seemed a little short," Brock gave his honest thoughts on the song. "but hey, you two seem to be in good harmony, so you have my vote."

"What a touching affirmation of a sibling bond!" Willie sniffled with joy. "Plus, I love the jazz setup too!"

"Indeed, a very original composition." Tristan agreed with Willie. "Though I must admit, I was definitely hoping for me of you together. You make a really good duet."

"Eh, I've seen better sideshow attractions." Marty rolled his eyes in disgust.

"Thank you, thank you! We'll be here all night!" Amethyst laughed. "Hey, if you want more, we'd happily take requests!"

"Okay, Amethyst, that's enough." Pearl grumbled before she dragged Amethyst away with a stage crook.

"Hey, wait up!" Jasper yelled as she raced after Amethyst, causing the audience to laugh.

--

"And next up on our list of performers, we have Lapis Lazuli coming onto the stage with a powerful number of her own!" Pearl announced to the audience's excitement.

"Hey, didn't she nearly kill hundreds of people?" Marty complained about the round of applause Lapis was receiving as she, Peridot, Laz, Zuli, and a Flower Buddy got up on stage. "Why is everyone cheering for a psychotic murderer?!"

"I'd watch my tone if I were you." Pearl scolded Marty. "Security!" At Pearl's command, Marty's chair was picked up by White Topaz with Marty still sitting in it and tossed into the air.

"I wonder how far he can go." White Topaz mused to herself as Marty was sent flying and screaming into the air, only to fall to the ground with a loud clatter, his chair smashing against his body. "Wow, pretty high up."

"Too bad that didn't kill me." Marty grumbled before Lapis began to speak.

"Hi, everybody. You may know me as Lapis." Lapis introduced herself. "Now, this is a song I've already sung before because I was in a really dark place in life. But now that I finally know where I am in the universe, I think it could use a little rewrite. Peridot, if you please."

"With pleasure." Peridot said as she tapped on her tablet, and it started playing music for Lapis to sing to. "I believe in you, my water witch."

"It all felt to me so lovely, those bluest skies above me." Lapis began singing, with her two fellow Lapides providing backing vocals. "Those funny feelings that I felt once I had met you. I wanted to leave for a while. I didn't want to smile. So many colors I wish that I had known. But now I find myself sitting on that distant shore. I'm no longer alone."

"Dang, she's good." Amethyst complimented Lapis's singing when she saw Jasper shedding a few tears. "Wait, Jasper, are you crying?" she asked the bigger Gem in confusion. "I thought you two didn't get along once upon a time."

"I'm not crying; I'm sweating a watery discharge through my eyes." Jasper lied through her teeth to try hiding how moved she was by how far Lapis had come.

"Then I saw the colors fading, the gentleness of light escaping. Shadows of my fear invading, have I seen this all before?!" Lapis continued her song. "I knew! There was something deep residing, a terror deep inside me. I once understood how you could've been so bold. But now I find myself smiling on that distant shore. I'm no longer alone."

The crowd began going wild as Lapis took a bow, and then Peridot raced up and hugged her, causing the two to fuse into Turquoise. "Thank you, thank you! I'm so happy to be singing for you all today." Turquoise announced. "I couldn't have asked for a more adoring audience."

"Wow, I'm normally not one for being overemotional, but I think I started crying on the inside." Brock proclaimed. "How about you boys?" Rather than giving a proper answer, Willie was so moved to tears that he was crying his eyes out. "Okay, Willie's out for the count. Wheeler, your two cents?"

"Music is often an expression of one's troubled emotions, and Miss Lazuli's number is no different." Tristan analyzed what he had just heard. "You can truly feel how emotionally damaged she once was through song alone, and how she is taking slow but crucial steps in recovering from whatever struggles she suffered in life."

"Couldn't agree more." Willie agreed, finally getting a word between breaks from crying so much. "Bravo Lapis, bravo!"

"Oh please, you're all too kind." Turquoise blushed with delight at all the adoration showered upon her, while Marty sulked his way backstage with a few broken bones after getting crushed by his chair. "Hey, who wants an encore?!"

"Ooh, gonna need to call in a hospital soon." Marty groaned, rubbing his aching neck while spotting Black Rutile preparing for her number in front of a vanity mirror. "Hey, Black Rutile! You're Black Rutile, right?!"

"Yes, that is me." Black Rutile said, turning around to show off her white pop star-inspired outfit. "And you are?"

"It's me, Marty! I chatted with you on Yatter!" Marty introduced himself. "Don't you remember?"

"Ah yes, Morty!" Black Rutile immediately remembered, albeit getting Marty's name wrong, much to his chagrin. "My apologies for not recognizing you; I've just been so busy planning my revenge and researching ways to unleash a being of pure chaos and mayhem unto the world."

"Sorry, what?" Marty quietly answered.

"Nothing." Black Rutile fibbed. "So, what can you offer me? And make it quick; I'm on in five!"

"I only wish to join you in your revenge on the Crystal Gems because I go way back with Steven's family." Marty revealed. "I was once his dad's manager up until he decided to ditch me for that big pink harlot on the beach, and then his son made my son disown me before I was chased out of town because everybody hated my Guacola so much!"

"Wait, Guacola?" Black Rutile asked. "Wasn't that the disgusting drink some moron got sued for after some catering incident? It was all over the news a few months ago!"

"Oh, of course, you'd bring that up." Marty grumbled in embarrassment. "Listen, you're starting that whole movement against the Crystal Gems, right? Well, tell you what, I have some industry friends who'll help you get all the funding you need for whatever you have planned. You with me?" He extended a welcoming hand to the Rutile. "Come on, let's shake on it."

"I like the way you think." Black Rutile smiled eagerly as she shook Marty's hand. "Maybe in exchange, I can help you get back at Steven's old man too."

"Oh, Black Rutile, we're due out on stage!" Holly Blue called for Black Rutile as she, Aquamarine, Eyeball, Cat's Eye, and the Rubies marched onstage in similar outfits to their boss. "Don't keep us waiting by talking to that human!"

"I'll introduce you to my friends here later." Black Rutile stated as she turned around and followed her subordinates to the limelight. "Right now, it's showtime."

--

"Ladies and Gems, we have a pretty special show for you tonight." Sam Galley announced to the audience, the spotlight shining on him being the only source of light on the stage. "Our next performer believes that this song could possibly change lives. Well, I'll be the judge of that." He gave a light chuckle. "And now, for your listening pleasure, I give you Black Rutile and the Rebels."

As Sam left the spotlight, an electropop started playing as the light began shining on Black Rutile, striking a provocative pose before she began to sing. "I hate all this peace and love; I pray to the stars above. You all thought I was done. No, I'm not; I really hate you!" she began, cuing the Rutile Rebels to start acting as her backup dancers. "I hate your oppression; I'm trapped in depression; my shame is all because of you! You think you're still the good guys?"

Although Black Rutile composed a very well-made song, the audience was slightly unnerved by her message as the chorus began. "I am far smarter and far stronger thanks to the sands of time! I just wanted to reign supreme; why is that a crime? I list everyone I hate, and you're at the front of the line. I'm always plotting, so you should've thought twice!"

"Oh!" the Rutile Rebels yelled.

"Look at what I just did! Look at what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did!" Black Rutile continued, strutting closer to the audience and giving them a domineering glare. "Look at what I just-Ooh, look at what I just did! Look at what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did!"

The second verse soon began, just as ominous and taunting as the last. "I want to see you all squirm, to see everything you love burn." Black Rutile declared. "You punished me for doing what's right, threw me here without letting me fight."

"What?!" Black Rutile's backup singers yelled.

"Homeworld moves on every day without drama, drama! But not for me, because I only want to give you karma!" Black Rutile added, further creeping out her captive audience with her lyrics and gyrating. "And as the universe turns, well, one thing's for sure, I may have got mine, but I'll give you yours!"

Once again, the chorus emphasized how Black Rutile loved boasting about her superiority and how she had the skills and infamy to back up her claims. "I am far smarter and far stronger thanks to the sands of time! I just wanted to reign supreme; why is that a crime? I list everyone I hate, and you're at the front of the line. I'm always plotting, so you should've thought twice!"

"Ooh!" the backup repeated.

"Look at what I just did! Look at what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did! Look at what I just-Ooh, look at what I just did! Look at what I just did!" Black Rutile proclaimed while presenting video footage of her previous exploits. "Take a look and see what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did!"

"I don't trust anybody, but everybody trusts me. I'll play the lead role in your scariest dream. I don't trust anybody, but everybody trusts me. I'll play the lead role in your scariest dream." Black Rutile repeated as part of the bridge. "I don't trust anybody, but everybody trusts me. I'll play the lead role in your scariest dream. I don't trust anybody, but everybody trusts me. I'll play the lead role in your scariest dream!"

"I am far smarter and far stronger thanks to the sands of time! I just wanted to reign supreme, why is that a crime?" Black Rutile sang while the song began to reach its conclusion. "I list everyone I hate, and you're at the front of the line. I'm always plotting, so you should've thought twice!"

"Ooh!" Black Rutile's backup sounded out one last time.

"Look at what I just did! Look at what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did! Look at what I just-"Black Rutile cried. "Ooh, look at what I just did! Look at what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did! Take a look and see what I just did!"

"I'm sorry, Black Rutile can't come to the phone right now." Black Rutile smirked as the song finished. "Why?"

"Because you're dead!" the other Rutile Rebels added with an evil laugh.

"Should we be concerned about that?" Volleyball whispered to Desert Glass in the audience.

"Worst case scenario, she's plotting to kill us all." Desert Glass replied plainly, freaking everyone out with her dark sense of humor.

"Okay, that is clearly ripping off another song!" Brock exclaimed. "But given what I heard about you, I wouldn't be surprised you'd sing something like this. Still, we got a huge red flag here."

"Oh, this is more than just a red flag!" Willie disagreed with Brock's statement. "We're looking at an electric red flag here!"

"Some compelling and meaningful lyrics, though I have a sinking feeling this might be an excuse to spread propaganda." Tristan commented on the song he had just heard.

"Why yes, that is exactly my point!" Black Rutile announced. "When I first heard that song, I felt so connected to the feelings of revenge and hatred in its lyrics. It just screamed me!"

"Of course, that's why she wanted to perform." White Topaz frowned in disappointment. "But at least she's still a terrific singer."

"That alone is worth listening to her." Jasper agreed with her girlfriend while the Rutile Rebels walked backstage, where Marty awaited them.

"Black Rutile, my buddy!" Marty cheerfully greeted his new Gem friend. "So, how was the performance, bubala?"

"First off, do not call me a bub!" Black Rutile scolded Marty. "Second, I think you might be trivializing some Earth religion for your own benefit. And third, the performance was amazing. I'm so happy to have seen all my hard work get the respect it deserves."

"Wonderful, because I got great news!" Marty exclaimed before presenting a video of Black Rutile's song posted on Yatter that was quickly going viral. "You're an Internet sensation now! And check it out; this #BlackRutileWasRight hashtag is everywhere!"

"Excellent, just as I had planned." Black Rutile sneered evilly while steepling her fingers together. "I simply must find a way to meet all these new followers."

"Trust me, babe. The Internet can allow you to do anything." Marty assured his new business partner. "We'll find a way soon."

--

The show continued with more Gems stepping up to the stage to perform. Some of the quartzes put on a barbershop quartet, Teal Zircon played an 80s heavy metal song, Nephrite and her crew did opera, Monazite became a one-Gem band, Diaspore sang a romantic duet with Dumortierite, and Snowflake, Bixbite, and Larimar did a standup comedy routine. The show began to close, but there was still one contestant yet to put on their act.

"Well, we surely had fun, everyone, but unfortunately, we'll have to put an end to this soon!" Sam Galley announced, to the disappointment of the audience. "But don't get too unhappy, because our last competitor is sure to impress! Please welcome to the stage, the moment you've all been waiting for, Kunzite!"

While the audience started cheering, the Crystal Gems and the Rutile Rebels all stared blankly at a short blue Gem with a purple gem poking out of her head who wore a bubble-like coat. "I'm sorry," Black Rutile said. "who is this?!"

"I think I remember her." Garnet stated. "She was a corrupted Gem I fought once before putting her in the Burning Room. I may have forgotten her name, though."

"Hi, everybody, my name's Kunzite." The Gem introduced herself. "You may or may not have seen me a lot, but that's because I'm a bit of a shut-in and don't really get out much."

"So that explains why we barely recognize her!" Amethyst declared.

"For my song, I'm just performing a cover of a song I keep hearing on the radio, and I really liked how much the singer sounded like me for some reason," Kunzite explained while picking up a guitar and a radio. "I hope you all enjoy." Setting down the radio and pushing play on some easy-listening music, Kunzite started strumming her guitar as her song began. "Just a little time. Just a little something else instead. Just a little time. Just a little something up ahead."

"Hey, I've heard this before!" Amethyst said, nodding to the beat of the song.

"Are you kidding me right now?" Black Rutile grimaced. "She literally stole my idea!"

"I'm dreaming of being... being... being... Being human..." Kunzite continued singing. "Just a little time. Just a little something that I need. Just a little time. Just a little feeling gaining speed. I'm dreaming of going... going... going... Going somewhere and... Being... being... being... Being human." Kunzite put her guitar down and awkwardly prepared to leave when she stopped playing, only to be stopped by the crowd going wild. "Oh my, you really liked my song that much?!"

"Dang straight, you did the original version justice!" Brock smiled widely. "It's almost like you were her!"

"Agreed!" Willie exclaimed. "So beautiful!"

"I think we might have a winner here." Tristan concurred with the other judges, much to Black Rutile's anger.

"What's impressive?! I've been ripping off a song my whole act!" Black Rutile yelled as she stormed towards the victorious Kunzite and slapped her so hard, Kunzite fell to the ground. "This whole thing was rigged to humiliate me, wasn't it?!"

"Black Rutile, calm down!" Garnet yelled at the Rutile. "Just accept that sometimes, there will always be someone better than you! If it makes you feel better, we'll let you have second place."

"Besides, look at all the attention you've gotten!" Marty added, showing Black Rutile that her followers were still growing by the dozens, which was all she needed now to be satisfied with her work.

"I see. Good enough." Black Rutile's tune changed entirely as she walked off the stage. "Come my thralls; we have much to do!"

"I suppose we shall continue our indoctrination of the masses?" Aquamarine asked evilly while the Rutile Rebels, now joined by Marty, followed their fearless leader.

"Quit reading my mind." Black Rutile responded.

--

As the Crystal Gems helped take down the stage as the show ended, the judges took some time to exchange some friendly conversations before they went back to their respective celebrity lives. "So boys, up for a few drinks later?" Willie asked Brock and Tristan. "I know of a good place in Dover with such amazing service!"

"Eh, I got time to kill before flying back to Empire City." Brock agreed to the queer fashion model's offer. "Hey, I know we shared this thought earlier, but Black Rutile is definitely all kinds of messed up, right?"

"I believe I've seen her many times before." Tristan stated. "She made headlines for her numerous crimes against humanity and her trial not too long ago."

"We made a good choice not naming her the winner." Brock declared. "Otherwise, she'd have let it go to her head and, I don't know, use it to take over the world or something!"

"Like that will ever happen." Willie laughed. "So, still up for drinks?"

"Yes." Brock and Tristan declared as one before the three judges left Beach City behind.

--

Well, we had our fun for now, but next time we'll be getting back to more serious territory. On the next Little Homeworld Life, more new Gems will be introduced and it'll be up to us to decide if they're friend or foe! In addition, the Crystal Gems will start questioning their own actions and maybe start slowly falling apart. I'm sure you'll find that very exciting. Catch you next time!

[danishprince]

Top 5 TV episodes (with reasons why, if you want.)

"if you want" do you KNOW me. apologies for the literal fucking essay incoming.

forcing myself to make sure none are from the same series. but five of my favorites, in no particular order:

bojack horseman s2 e11 — “escape from l.a.”

there are objectively more inventive/more heartbreaking bojack episodes out there (“time’s arrow,” “fish out of water," “free churro”), but this one wins for me because it marks a clearly delineated descent from “depressed horse guy who’s kind of shitty” to “depressed horse guy who actively ruins others’ lives”. straightforward plot, no todd shenanigans (just pete repeat, who’s admittedly hilarious). bojack wants to change, and in new mexico, he thinks he will. for a moment, we’re in a wacky family sitcom! but this episode’s strength comes through a distinct lack of structural trickery: early on you know exactly where “escape from l.a.” is going to go, and you spend the next fifteen minutes watching while frozen, terrified it’s actually going to happen. and it does. horror! olivia wilde’s “if you ever try to contact me or my family again, i will fucking kill you” might be THE best line delivery of the series. 

i may destroy you e12 —“ego death”

“ego death” is a reflection of a reflection: a perfect example of a) the cyclical nature of trauma/ptsd and b) revenge fantasy as both freedom and imprisonment. (again. go back to the bar again. maybe this time it’ll work. maybe this time you’ll figure it out.) arabella feels real in all her contradictions, and we want her to find relief even though on some level that’s not possible. the writing is so, so tight. michaela coel is firing on all cylinders. ultimately i may destroy you is an argument in favor of empathy and against binary notions of good/evil, victim/perpetrator, oppressed/oppressor; this episode sticks the landing thematically while being a deeply cathartic—and realistic!—ending note for arabella’s story. trauma will change you, and there’s no way around it, but there are ways to keep living, keep moving. also it’s just a gorgeous-looking hour. absolute masterwork from a criminally underwatched miniseries.

succession s3 e9 — “all the bells say”

my feelings on this episode mostly boil down to [inconsolable wailing about roy siblings]. but on a writing level, this does a phenomenal job tying together both s3 and the whole series. as vicious and heartbreaking (and funny) as season 3 is, it’s structured anticlimactically—most of the big "plot developments" fizzle out. this episode undermines all that: turns out the important parts of the season were a) character-focused and b) existed all along, gliding under the surface until they re-emerge here as genuinely shocking plot twists. wonderful character moments (kendall’s confession! the siblings coming together! roman standing up to his father!) resonate because they’re so hard-earned, because all series the three have been pitted against each other over and over. the opposite of the capitalistic empty drive for wealth—the opposite of the abuse and neglect the siblings received from their parents—is connection. even if it only lasts a moment, at least it happened. fantastic season finale, simultaneously heartbreaking and revelatory in its own right. 

watchmen e6 — “this extraordinary being” 

one of many things i like about this ep is how it takes previous “canon” and flips it on its head—without actually contradicting anything. we’ve been shown this universe’s so-called history in earlier episodes via those goofy “american hero story” clips. but like the comic that inspired it (a favorite of mine!), watchmen the tv show is constantly reflecting on stories-within-stories, narratives inside the narrative. episode 6 takes pains to disassemble that predominant “history” right in front of our eyes. more importantly, it fucking hurts. angela’s grandfather was hooded justice—survived the tulsa race massacre!—and she never even knew. history isn’t all made up, but the victors get to tell it. “this extraordinary being” asks what if they didn’t? the black-and-white film and flashes to angela’s face both add to a sense of being simultaneously present and not; the past is the past, but it’s never that far away. we carry our parents/grandparents’ trauma within us even if we never consciously know it!!

the sopranos s5 e12 — “long term parking”

it’s kind of cheating to list this one because i haven’t even finished the series yet, but uh—holy fuck. this one destroyed me. devastating penultimate episode of season 5’s meticulously plotted death spiral (which thus far is my favorite sopranos season by a mile). just watched a couple days ago so can’t articulate my feelings beyond “AAAAA” but this recap by emily st. james (spoilers, ofc) says it better than i ever could.

[thechanelmuse]

TW: rape

‘I May Destroy You,’ Michaela Coel’s gimlet-eyed exploration of trauma and its myriad ripple effects follows Arabella (Coel) — a funny, messy, sharp-as-hell London writer — after a dizzying night in which she’s drugged and raped by a stranger. At first, she dismisses the hazy memory as just an upsetting image in her head. Soon enough, though, Arabella reluctantly comes to understand it as the truth, and tries to work through that horrifying reality without coming apart. [...]

Not every part of Arabella has a direct line to Coel, but the series’ catalyzing experience, unfortunately, does. In 2016, Coel took a break from a marathon writing session for the second season of “Chewing Gum” to grab a drink with a friend, and was drugged and assaulted by a stranger. She’s been sifting through the emotional wreckage ever since to find some kind of clarity, if not peace. Now, with “I May Destroy You,” she’s doing it for all the world to see. “As a fellow android exploring what it means to be human,” says Coel’s friend Janelle Monáe, “watching Michaela be vulnerable on-screen as she walks in her truth gives me and so many the bravery to walk in ours.” [...]

Coel began writing “I May Destroy You” in February 2017, in between acting in TV projects like the “USS Callister” episode of “Black Mirror” and Netflix’s limited series “Black Earth Rising.” She took solo mountain trips and wrote draft after draft of what would eventually become “I May Destroy You,” spilling her stories and tangled guts onto the page, rearranging them into shapes she could better recognize. In August 2018, she spoke about her trauma publicly while delivering the Edinburgh International Television Festival’s James MacTaggart Memorial Lecture, a prestigious assignment the festival has otherwise bestowed on a cadre of white British television mainstays (as well as no fewer than three Murdochs). 

The majority of Coel’s speech, delivered to a room of the U.K.’s most powerful entertainment brokers, traced the constant racism and classism she endured on the way to that Edinburgh stage — a theme subtextually underlined by the fact that Coel was, and remains, the only Black woman to have that platform. She spoke about turning her solo play “Chewing Gum Dreams” into a “Chewing Gum” TV series (which aired 2015-17 on the U.K.’s Channel 4), a transformative time that taught her the technicalities of making television and confirmed just how disinclined certain white gatekeepers are to trust a poorer Black woman’s vision. Toward the end of the 50-minute lecture, Coel revealed her assault and elucidated the industry’s inability — or unwillingness — to handle such a human emergency when pages are due. As for her recovery, she said, “It’s been therapeutic to write about it, and actively twist a narrative of pain into something with more hope, and even humor.”

When it finally came time to translate it all to the screen, “I May Destroy You” was so close to her bruised heart that Coel took on the challenge of playing several roles throughout the series’ development: creator, writer, actor, producer, director. Netflix offered her a total fee of a cool $1 million to make and star in the show, but the proposed contract wouldn’t grant Coel even a tiny percentage of the rights. She hadn’t fully realized how much claiming legal proprietorship over her work mattered to her until the prospect of not being able to emerged, at which point it became crucial. 

Then, after some Googling, she realized that her CAA agents would also be profiting from the deal via the endangered practice of packaging. Stung and surprised, Coel walked away from both her agents and the offer. “I’m not anti-Netflix,” she’s quick to say now, “but I am pro-‘the creator, writer, director, actor should probably have a right.’” She’s hyper-aware of how much this project required of her, and how comparatively little granting her “a right” might cost a powerful network like Netflix. “That’s not quite fair, is it?” Coel muses. Creating the show, after all, took almost everything she had.

With the BBC, a million-dollar paycheck might not have been in the cards, but more important to Coel, she didn’t have to fight half as hard to claim ownership. (As a matter of industry course, it’s far more common for British studios to afford creators rights to their work than it is for American equivalents.) They struck a deal, and Coel got to work.[...]

“When you’re restricted,” she explains, “sometimes that’s where you find great things: in the lack of possibility.” She attributes this rather Zen approach to Hugo Blick, the “Black Earth Rising” showrunner who showed her the value of keeping a cool, empathetic head on set. Blick’s ability to step away from a gnarly situation for even 30 calming seconds is one that Coel has worked to hone for herself, especially while steering a series with such fraught ties to her history. No matter how sideways things might go, she never wants to forget just how much she loves the collaborative act of building a television show, wild complications and all. 

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From Forbes:

I May Destroy You’s Michaela Coel Rejected Netflix’s $1 Million Offer In Favor Of The BBC Because Of Ownership

The creative, who stars as Arabella and wrote all 12 episodes, started pitching the programme in the spring of 2017 with one of her first ports of call being Netflix who picked up her prior series Chewing Gum.

Though Netflix offered a generous upfront fee of $1 million (£800,000), the sum had strings attached, including full rights ownership away from the creator, something Coel pushed back against. Coel recalls a moment during the interview where she is speaking with a Netflix development executive on the phone, asking if she could retain even a very small 0.5% of the copyright to her show.

“There was just silence on the phone. And she said, ‘It’s not how we do things here. Nobody does that, it’s not a big deal,’” Coel recollected. “I said, ‘If it’s not a big deal, then I’d really like to have 5 % of my rights,’” Coel added, stating that she even went down to 2%, and then 1% and even as a final compromise to 0.5%.

Coel remembers that the executive said she would have to run it passed her superiors, before adding, “‘Michaela? I just want you to know I’m really proud of you. You’re doing the right thing.'”

“I remember thinking, I’ve been going down rabbit holes in my head, like people thinking I’m paranoid, I’m acting sketchy, I’m killing off all my agents,” Coel says. “And then she said those words to me, and I finally realized — I’m not crazy. This is crazy.”

Coel discovered her agents, Creative Artists Agency (CAA) were set to make an undisclosed amount from the series if she took the deal with Netflix. She reveals that the agency pushed her to take the deal prior to her finding out and their subsequent dismissal as her U.S. representation.

Taking the project to British broadcaster the BBC later in 2017, Coel found the corporation to be supportive with her maintaining creative control even with the explicit depictions of sex, sexual assault and drug use. Plus, as the broadcaster had to adhere to terms of trade, Coel had no problem with retaining the rights also. The broadcaster also brought HBO to the table as another co-producer to help subsidise a portion of the budget.

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This isn’t about just “knowing your worth;” it’s about knowing the business (your business) and never settling just to secure “something.” A million dollar offer, no copyright ownership and no creative control is beyond disrespectful. Learn the business in whatever field you’re in and stay acclimated with jargon and new, current and old practices. Know your shit. 

It’s like when people say “Get a lawyer” to handle negotiations and look over your paperwork. You pay a lawyer to do a job, but it does not mean you should be oblivious to aspects of law and contract jargon among other things because “that’s what they’re there to do.” You can’t say someone (sometimes lawyers included) screwed you over after you’ve signed the dotted line. They’re protecting and looking out for themselves. Commit to do the same for yourself.