marloweandme

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 isaac + zach [flashback]

Isaac: What's going on? Are you okay?

Isaac: Do you want me to call? I can come over too.

Zach: I.... Kara's dead. Lauren just... The letter. She's actually fucking dead.

Zach: I think I'm going to throw up.

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 isaac + zach

Isaac: Ooo, I'd live in fear of that too. I've only been slapped by Lauren once and that was enough.

Isaac: And do we remember how that turned out? Despite all the bad thoughts, it turned out great, right? So why should this be any different?

Isaac: You got this, bro. Trust me.

Zach: Only once? Lucky.

Zach: Okay, okay. Thanks, bro. And I hope you're right. It's just the biggest thing I've ever done in my life. Besides quitting drinking and that was... Super fucking hard and scary. This shouldn't be scary. This should be amazing. So why am I scared? Is it because I think I'm gonna mess it up and be like my dumbass of a dad?

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 isaac + zach [flashback]

Zach: Isaac. I know you aren't really good with texts anymore but I

Zach: I need you, man.

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 victoria + zach

Vic: Too late. Not that it matters because I genuinely can't see it anyway.

Vic: My relationship with my family is none of your business either.

Vic: Don't insult me, Marlowe -- I don't have any feelings to hurt. Appreciate the concern, but it's not necessary. I know what I'm doing.

Vic: Anyway, let me know when it's time to buy the suit. The color scheme better match my eyes.

Zach: How rude.

Zach: Sorry.

Zach: You do have feelings, hence why you're getting up in arms about this. But don't worry, I'll back off.

Zach: Yeah, yeah. I'll let you know. I'll leave you alone.

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 ophelia + zach

Ophelia: important ophelia things basically just means eating and sleeping and i can do that whenever my dude

Ophelia: yeah ask isaac i'm sure he's got something awesome planned since he's awesome and he can't just not set up an awesome bachelor party for you

Ophelia: if you want sparkling cider, we'll all have sparkling cider IT'LL BE ANARCHY

Ophelia: ask lauren for tacos at the wedding. tell her it's good for your digestive system

Ophelia: i have been super. i think i have some pancakes on the counter that my dad made for me so i'm about to get down to business

Ophelia: AND how's wedding planning going otherwise?

Zach: Are you working anywhere fun? Eating and sleeping only gets me so far. Working as a Healer, even though I'll never be anything like Victoria.

Zach: Speaking of Isaac, has he talked to you at all? He's been talking to me more so that's good and stuff. I just want my favorite boy to be okay ya know?

Zach: You guys can have alcohol if you want? I just can't so.

Zach: I'm pretty sure she'll kill me. Pretty positive about that.

Zach: TO DEFEAT THE HUNS. ahem. pancakes are delicious. Also its not fun. There are so many shades of colors that SHOULDN'T BE SHADES OF COLORS. What the fuck kind of color is mauve anyway?

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 isaac + zach

Isaac: Good, Zach.

Isaac: I was going to be offended because hey! I sleep by myself. But then I remembered that I can starfish on a bed and you can't.

Isaac: Wow, this is worse than I thought. Okay. Remember when you proposed? What were the feelings before that moment?

Zach: I can totally starfish if I want to. But then I might get slapped by Lauren because she'd starfish right back so.

Zach: Um. They were, 'Oh god I can't do this. Oh god I'm going to puke. OH GOD WHY AM I GETTING ON MY KNEE IN A SUPERMARKET.'

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 ophelia + zach

Ophelia: omg you already KNO i'm coming to the wedding. i would literally be crazy not to

Ophelia: you've gotta have one!!!

Ophelia: with tacos!!!!!!!! and i'm coming to it so hook me up with some vegan tacos homie

Zach: Idk you could be off doing important Ophelia things!

Zach: I'll have to ask Isaac.

Zach: I don't think Lauren will want our wedding to have tacos, unless you're meaning the bachelor party than hell yeah. Tacos and some sparkling cider because I don't drink anymore after thongs happened.

Zach: Things*

Zach: Anyway, enough bout me. How you been, O?

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 victoria + zach

Vic: I’m actually trying to envision you and Lauren having sex and it’s just a complete blank for me.

Vic: Those are the exact type of people I like to be around.

Vic: Let’s be very clear on something. She hasn’t /made/ me do anything. No one on the planet /makes/ me do a damn thing. I’m thirty-eight years old. I make my own decisions. Yes, she made a really stupid mistake with Rick. But I’m over it and so is she.

Vic: And /not/ that it is any of your business, but Ronan /is/ aware about it and he’s doing his own thing as well. Not that we needed to be in agreement for me to do what I wanted anyway.

Zach: PLEASE DON'T TRY TO ENVISION THAT. It's private for a reason!

Zach: Well uh, I'll send her jaded ass your way some time.

Zach: Except for your parents, if I remember correctly.

Zach: Okay dude, I just don't want her to hurt you. You're like a really good friend of mine and I look out for my friends.

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 isaac + zach

Isaac: First of all, breathe. Like three deep breaths, bro.

Isaac: Secondly, don't think about it as being ready for marriage. Think about it as spending the rest of your life being epic with Lauren. You're just having a party celebrating that awesomeness.

Issac: Thirdly, you're not a dick. So you're going to be a great dad. Also when did kids come onto the table? Have we had this discussion? Can I get a middle name? I would like a middle name.

Isaac: I've also ordered a pizza to your house, WITH garlic bread and I'm on my way.

Zach: Okay, okay, okay. I woosah'd.

Zach: As long as its not as bad as that one time I made the 'party in my pants' joke and she didn't talk to me for like a week. Sleeping by myself is not fun AT ALL.

Zach: Sorry man, I'm just freaking out. Everything is hitting me at once. So much so that I may or may not have turned down tacos. Me. Tacos. ME.

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 ophelia + zach

Zach: O-Opheliaaaaa, you've been on my mind since the floooood.

Zach: But for real, did you get the wedding invitation? I need to know if you're coming because if so, I'm totally gonna invite you to the bachelors party. If I have one. Oh God. Am I having one?

Zach: I want a taco.

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 victoria + zach

Vic: Not in terms of envy but I’ve imagined it out of curiosity. But the multiple orgasms you can have in one go vs. the one-time shot of a dick kinda kills the curiosity fast.

Vic: I’m thinking me and your future sister-in-law should start getting to know each other. I get an inkling we’d get along.

Vic: Is that judgement I’m sensing, Marlow? Careful, we’re starting to tread away from light banter.

Zach: Yeah that part sucks ass. But good thing I can have more than one. Orgasm doth not mean my little Zach's need to go a swimmin'.

Zach: Kara? I mean yeah. I guess. If you love a person who could go full serial killer at any moment.

Zach: ...... Please don't tell her I said that.

Zach: She dated Rick the Dick. That's fuck up numero uno. Numero dos fuck up was the fact that she led you on and then went for him. And now she's over here making you cheat on your husband. She sounds not that great. Kinda shitty tbh.

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 victoria + zach

Vic: I'm suddenly happier than usual to not have a dick.

Vic: Yes and no? I don't know. This is probably the only thing that isn't my area of expertise. I'm not all warm and gooey like you.

Zach: Do I even want to know what you mean by 'than usual'. Have you had a fantasy you've had a dick, Vic? Oh God that rhymed.

Zach: I am not warm and gooey!

[fifteen minutes later]

Zach: Okay after further investigation, I have gathered that apparently I'm like an annoying fresh-baked chocolate chip cookie. I don't think I should text Kara out of the blue ever again about what I am.

Zach: But that's besides the point. Doesn't being with Brynnglton make this cheating? Never took you for a cheater, Vic. Her on the other hand...

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 victoria + zach

Vic: A few months now? Well it was a bit on-and-off for a while but I think we're in a more stable place now.

Vic: I still ask myself that, actually. But I'm not really complaining. Some things you can't shake off, I suppose.

Zach: Well holy fuckballs.

Zach: You can totally shake things off. A pesky fly. An unwanted lump in your pillow. Even pee off your dick when it's super cold out.

Zach: Did you want to shake Brynn off? Or uh, not be with her I guess?

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 victoria + zach

Vic: Can I go to this wedding and still tell Roger that he has perpetual mooseknuckle instead? The man refuses to get larger sized pants.

Vic: We /are/ lovers. Well, I guess more than that, technically.

Zach: I can't with you.

Zach: Hold up. What? Since when? But Brynn is

Zach: She's.

Zach: She's kind of annoying.

Zach: How the hell did this happen?

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 victoria + zach

Vic: I look great in a suit. But you knew that already. Of course I'd be happy to participate in your nauseating little love fest. It's the least I can do for making you look like a serial killer for two months.

Vic: I'll spare you Ronan. I'll be taking Brynn instead.

Zach: ...........................

Zach: I agreed to move past that if you agreed to stop telling Roger down on fifth floor that he has perpetual mooseknuckle.

Zach: Why are you taking Brynn? Plus ones are meant for either real close friends or like, lovers. Last I remember you two were neither.

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 isaac + zach

Zach: So I had the worst nightmare that a giant taco truck crashed through my wedding ceremony.

Zach: Am I even ready for marriage? What if I die tomorrow?

Zach: Oh God, what if my kids end up hating me like how Kara hated her parents?

Zach: I think I'm having a Zach Attack.

Zach: HELP

[marloweandme]

text 🌮 victoria + zach

Zach: So I was thinking [deleted]

Zach: YO HOMESLICE I WAS WONDERING [deleted]

Zach: Gracious Queen of Healing [deleted]

Zach: Hey Vic, would you like to be a groomswoman? Groomsman? I dunno how it would go but I'd really love for you to be standing up there with me when I say the big ol' I do.

Zach: Oh! Duh! Your hubs can come as your plus one. I've yet to meet the dude.