#//also i opened my computer earlier and scared myself cuz there was this Face in a style i didn't recognize for a second and i had a

[keeps-ache]

okay. black or white? :)

[poraphia]

Halloooo ^^ ..

I read a lot of ur stories and now Im in love with fictions :3 (might need therapy cuz of it but nvm that)

U an amazing writer <3

(Im pretty new to Tumblr so extremely sorry if this ends up where it shouldnt be or smth like that lol)

But anywaaay , Can I pls request a Wilbur Soot angst fic :D ?

Im going thru THAT phase rn so anything would be awsome really ..

Maybe a fight (unintentionally) breaks out between Wilby and reader and Wilby accidentally raises his voice and reader gets scared ? I know its a cheesy story and people might'a written before but I barely find Wilbur angst fics anymore :(((

Anyway , Thank u so much .. U dont have to write any of this if ur uncomfortable .. Hope ur doing okay :> .. Take care n' bye :D

"You’re Being Too Loud."

➵ PAIRING! cc!stressed!wilbur x stressed!reader

➵ CREATING! 10.12.23 | 1444 words

➵ CONTAINING! angst to comfort, wilbur is ignoring reader, reader lowkey has attachment issues, reader sensitive to loud noises, wilbs is overworked

➵ SAYING! hiii @toastyliltoasts41 welcome to tumblr! sorry for the late late response but i hope you enjoy :) personally going thru this myself especially w so much work ive been doing recently and also im noise sensitive (literally walk around with noise canceling headphones all the time). thank u for all the nice words!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

I slipped off my shoes and placed them near the doorstep. My socks glided against the furnished planks as I slid to our shared office. I dragged my backpack behind me, feeling the weight of my laptop, notebooks, and textbooks. Once I made it to the room, I placed my bag on the chair and unpacked all my belongings onto my desk.

Today was too exhausting, and the one thing I dreaded doing right now was to open my laptop and be faced with more work. Instead of taking my laptop with me, I grabbed my phone and dragged myself out of the office and into the bedroom.

After changing into my loungewear, I snuggled myself into silk sheets, shivering a little from the cold fabric wrapping around my body. Ignoring the chill, I held up my phone with both of my hands and swiped open the messaging app to text my boyfriend. I glanced at the past messages, realizing that Wil hasn’t responded to any of my messages from this afternoon. The last time he texted was this morning when was telling me what time he would come home. Sighing, I typed in another message in hopes that this time he would respond.

“Hey, I’m home now. Too tired to cook food today. Let’s order something when you get home? <3”

I clicked send before clicking off my phone and placing it on the nightstand. My eyes fluttered close, and slowly, I drifted off to sleep.

I woke to the sound of footsteps clicking against the ground. With my hands I pushed my body up to examine the noise. From the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a familiar tall figure headed toward the office. A small smile formed on my face as I carefully got out of bed.

My bare freet pressed against the cream colored carpet. I wandered around the hallway before finding the office door slightly ajar. Through the crack I saw Wil hunched over his computer. His sweater’s sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and his fingers hastily clicked against his keyboard. Quietly, I approached him from behind, throwing my arms around his shoulders and hugging him close.

Wil quietly hummed in response. I titled my head, pecking his cheek, but he didn’t react and instead his eyes stayed glue to his screen. My eyebrows slightly furrowed, but nonetheless, I continued hugging him.

“Hey, sweetheart.” I mumbled in a croaky voice.

“Hey,” he replied blankly.

“Did you see my texts earlier today?”

“Uh huh,” He said absently. “I saw the message after I ate though. Sorry.”

I felt my chest tighten a little, hurting at his absence. All I wanted in the moment was a hug and a conversation about each other’s day, but instead, he was absorbed in his work and couldn’t even make the effort to look at me.

“Wil, can we talk?” I asked.

He slightly shook his head. “No, not right now, honey. This video has to be out by tomorrow and one of our editors hasn’t been feeling well so I took up the work.” He explained briefly.

“But you’re already busy working at the studio…” I mumbled.

“I know, but I can finish this up by tonight. Just give me some time, please.” He requested. My heart skipped a little, feeling like a dog that had been put aside for a brand new puppy.

“Wil, you haven’t talked to me all day. Could we at least just have dinner together?” I nearly pleaded.

“I already said I just ate, (y/n).” Wil said rather sternly. “Please can I just finish my work?”

“But I want to spend time with you.” I said, speaking up a little bit. I unwrapped my hands away from him and stepped back a little. He turned his chair a little to face me with one of his hands still on the keyboard. He looked up at me, a stressed but furrowed expression on his face. I wrapped my arms around myself, hugging my own chest.

“I want to spend time with you but you’re basically prioritizing this work over me.” I said again. “I understand that sometimes you have too much work. I understand that. But we haven’t been spending time with each other for the past few days and it’s driving me crazy. I just want to relax with you, Wil.” I bit the insides of my cheek. Wil, in turn, sighed and rubbed his nosebridge.

“I’m not prioritizing work over you, (y/n), I’ve just been busy lately and this argument is just stressing me out even more.” His words were spat out like venom.

“Which is why I’m asking that we just spend time together! This isn’t just for me, but it’s for you too.” I threw my hands up, frustrated. “Wilbur, we can relax together! You’re acting like this isn’t stressing me out either!”

Wil got up from his seat now. His tall figure nearly towered over me, making me slightly cower. “I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING RELAX RIGHT NOW, (Y/N)! I HAVE SHIT TO DO!”

I stepped back, nearly stumbling. Without realizing, tears were running down my burning hot cheeks. The air went cold and I felt this hallowing emptiness surrounding me. A ringing was bouncing in my eardrums and goosebumps ran through my arms and legs. He looked down at me, eyes wide as if he just realized what words escaped his lips. Before he could say a word, I walked out of the office and back into bed, slamming the door behind me.

I jumped into the mattress and buried my face deep under the sheets. I quietly sobbed into the fabric, not caring for the tears darkening the silk. It didn’t take but a couple minutes later to hear the creaking of the door and soft footsteps approaching the bed. I lied still under the covers as I felt the mattress dip from a newfound weight.

Wil sat there for a while. His knee shook a little, making a tiny thumping noise against the floor. I was turned away from him with his lower back lightly pressing against the heel of my foot.

“(y/n)..?” He softly called out for me. “Are you awake..?”

I shifted a little, moving my foot away from him to let him know I was listening. He sighed with his leg coming to a stop.

“(y/n), I’m sorry. I—I’ve just been really stressed, but that gives me no right to start yelling at you. And me being really busy has been taking away the time with you.” He paused a little bit, presumably licking his lips. I still didn’t have the courage to move. Instead I laid still, not daring to move. “I’m really sorry, (y/n).” He apologized again.

A deep sigh huffed from my nostrils before I sat up, letting the sheets cascade off my body. He turned his head to look at me, his feet still planted on the ground. I looked into his eyes, seeing the pained looked deep in those irises.

“Y-You know I don’t like loud noises.” I croaked out, my voice cracking with my words. He slowly nodded, bringing his legs up on the bed to fully face me. “And I really don’t like it when you yell. Please, I really just wanted to spend time together.”

“And we will spend time together.” He grabbed my hands and cradled them in his. “I’ll message Elodie right now if she could finish the work. But right now, it’s going to be me and you together, okay? We can maybe catch up on our show and I’ll order some food for you, okay?” He reassured, rubbing his thumb against the back of my hand. “Maybe I’ll steal some fries from you every once in a while.”

I giggled a little. “Noooo! Get your own food!” I whined, lightly pushing his shoulder. He chuckled in response before wrapping his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest. I wrapped my arms around his torso in response, breathing in his scent.

“I just missed you, Wil, you know that…” I softly whispered. He nodded, running his fingers through my hair.

“I missed you too. I promise I do.” He whispered back. His voice was low and deep but he made sure to maintain his volume. It was soothing, something I could fall asleep to,

and most importantly,

it wasn’t loud.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

a / n ~ hope you enjoyeddd notes of all kind are super duper appreciated! if you wanna be in a taglist or an anon my inbox is always freee :D ALSO SURPRISE!! TWO ONESHOTS IN ONE DAY I AM ON A ROLLLL

[writeontimey]

WoT - Would you read it for Chris' snack? // PILOT

Today we have, Food Follies, the pilot of Write on Time.

The scene starts showing a grassy field with only one tree, in this tree we can see a small bird house hanging from a branch, that's the Tricky Trio's house, the scene starts to show the inside of the house, where Joseph and Philip are playing a card game called "The Game".

Philip: JUST PLAY!

Joseph: I'm thinking! T-INK-IN-G, now wait, will ya?

Philip: Ngh, don't think so you don't hurt your head.

Philip gets up, stands next to Joseph, and starts to see his cards.

Philip: If I were you I would play this one.

Joseph: Ok.

Joseph plays the card chosen by Philip.

Philip: Hey, how did you make such a good play?

Joseph: Secret.

Philip: Cool, 'cuz I WIN!

Philip plays all his cards and wins the game, he laughs while Joseph looks at him annoyed, Joseph then looks at the camera.

Joseph: Skilled isn't he?

Joseph goes back to looking at Philip.

Joseph: Let's play again.

Chris (offscreen): AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Joseph and Philip get scared and look at each other for a second, the scene then changes to Chris, sitting on a couch, Joseph and Philip jump out of the throw pillows and look at Chris.

Joseph and Philip: WHAT?

Chris: It's horrible, deplorable, unignorable... it rhymed... BUT IT'S HORRIBLE!

Joseph and Philip: WHAT?

Chris: Somebody ate my SNACK!

Joseph and Philip: IMPOSSIBLE!

Chris (crying): Possible! WAAAAAH! Help me!

Philip: Of course, we'll help! I investigated a familiar case before, mine was a turkey sandwich, I loved it, seeing it dead was the most shocking scene I have seen in 17 years being a detective.

Joseph: What was the second most shocking?

Philip: This one.

Philip gets closer to Chris.

Philip: Don't worry, the great detectives are here.

A very detective like intro happens, with the first scene showing Philip walking in circles following his own trail of footprints, and the second scene showing Joseph holding a magnifying glass analyzing things, but accidentally looking at the Sun and burning his eyes.

Philip: Firstly!

Philip gives a stylish entrance by spinning his way to Chris and putting a pipe in his mouth.

Philip: Explain what happeneEE COUGH COUGH COUGH!

Philip throws the pipe away.

Philip: What COUGH COUGH, happened COUGH.

Chris: My snack was eaten.

Philip: Can you give a more detailed explanation?

Chris: Sure, my snack, wich is a quick meal between lunch and dinner was ingested and it's probably being digested and soon will become...

Joseph: TOO MANY DETAILS!

Philip: What were you doing when the snack was stolen?

Chris: I was on TikTok thinking about how JungKook is pretty.

Philip: Yes, and how did you find out it was stolen?

Chris: I went to the microwave, where I kept the snack, and then, I SAW... I SAW THE SCENE... ONLY CRUMBS AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH.

Chris: By the way, "GREAT DETECTIVES"... how can I know that YOU weren't the ones who ate it? BUNCH OF MUGGERS!

Philip: ARE YOU CALLING ME THIEF?

Chris: No! Just criminal, evildoer, crook and outlaw.

Philip: Oh alright, BUT IT WASN'T ME!

Joseph: Me neither.

Chris: Where were YOU at the time of the crime?

Philip and Joseph: Playing The Game.

Chris: Hmmmm, ok, nothing strange there, for now! Oh, when I find out who was responsible for this, I will equalize their face!

Philip: Let's go to the microwave to analyze the crumbs, there may be a clue there.

Everyone runs to the kitchen, and Joseph starts pointing somewhere.

Joseph: LOOK! ONE CLUE!

Chris: Where is it? Where is it?

Joseph shows a cellphone with the app "One Clue Crossword" showing.

Chris: Are you trying to die?

Philip pushes the two, and goes to the microwave.

Philip: I'm serious, people! Hmm, let me see these crumbs here.

The scene shows a very cliché detective sequence with Philip analyzing everything, putting crumbs in scientist tubes, tasting them, even hacking them with a computer. The scene then changes to Joseph and Chris standing in the middle of the kitchen looking at Philip.

Joseph: What a show off, isn't he?

Chris just nods positively. After that, Philip jumps in front of them.

Philip: Well friends.

Chris: WHAT? WHO WAS IT? SAY IT! SAY IT IMMEDIATELY! AM I DYING? DO I HAVE CHANCES TO LIVE DOCTOR?

Philip: Well, analyzing the situation a little and testing the texture and taste of the remaining crumbs, I come to the conclusion that yes, it was definitely a snack.

Chris e Joseph: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Philip: I also found a sign saying "William was here."

Chris: WILLIAM!

The scene changes to William sitting on another couch from the house, watching TV, out of nowhere a long, macabre hand slowly comes out of the TV, when it touches William, the TV starts screaming and Philip, Joseph and a furious Chris jump out of it and fall on the couch.

Joseph, Chris and Philip: IT WAS YOU!

William: I'M JUST GETTING OUT OF HERE WITH MY LAWYER! I'LL ONLY SAY SOMETHING WITH A MANDATE!

Chris: It was you, wasn't it? You ate my snack!

William: Did I? I don't remember.

Chris: Oh, so you're going to make a fool of yourself now, right? PHILIP INTERROGATE HIM!

Philip stands in front of William

Philip: Let's go! Helper, hold him.

Joseph's arms start to stretch and tie William to the couch.

Philip: A crime occurred here recently, one of the clues led us to you.

William: What crime? What clue?

Joseph slaps William in the face.

Joseph: We are the ones who ask the questions here!

William: Ok... then ask.

Joseph: Uuuuhhh, are you to blame?

William: For what?

Joseph slaps William in the face again.

Joseph: I SAID THAT WE ARE THE ONES WHO ASK THE QUESTIONS HERE.

Philip: The crime is a snack theft, the clue was a sign saying "William was here."

William: Ah, well, I'm having some amnesia attacks recently so I am leaving these signs all over the house to remind myself of where I have been.

Joseph: That's the most lame excuse I've ever heard.

Philip, Chris and Joseph: It must be true.

Philip: So, sir, have you heard anything recently that might be suspicious?

William: Well... I have amnesia so I have no idea.

Philip, Chris and Joseph look with a bored expression to each other and leave, the scene changes to them talking in private.

Philip: Okay, so it wasn't him.

Chris: But what if he is lying?

Joseph: Makes sense, Chris, I read in a book that the culprit is always the first person interrogated.

Philip: Yes, but we don't want that OLD AND PAST CLICHÉ on our show, do we?

Philip and Chris look at the camera and then at Joseph with a sarcastic look.

Joseph: Okay!

Philip: Hmmm, I already know who we can interrogate next!

The scene changes to a close up on William with an angry expresion on his face, the screen then shows Chris, Joseph and Philip around him.

William: Why do you want to interrogate me again?

Philip: We don't know who we can interrogate next!

William: Why don't you go, like, I don't know, to the place where she bought the snack?

Philip: Hey hey hey, shhh, I'm the detective here!

Philip turns to Chris and Joseph and says.

Philip: Guys, let's investigate the place...

William: GO AWAY!!!!

The scene changes to a restaurant called McRat. Philip, Chris and Joseph are in front of it.

Philip (narrating): McRat, normally a nice, happy place, but today, it was a dark place, because all the lights we're out.

Joseph: Are you narrating?

Philip: Yeah! Super cool!

Philip (narrating): We entered McRat, there was nobody inside it today, probably because it was already closed and we broke in to get in there.

Employee: GET OUT OF HERE NOW! I SAID WE'RE CLOSED!

Philip: Helper, hold him!

Joseph grabs an refrigerator, puts the employee inside it and closes the door, he then wait 3 seconds and opens the door, showing the employee inside a giant block of ice only with his head free.

Philip: We want to ask you a few questions.

Employee: Ugh, ok, yes, the CheeseRat is made of rats, yes, they are sewage rats, but they are washed, they are clean...

Joseph: TOO MANY DETAILS!

Chris: I came here and bought a Fried Vole earlier.

Employee: Well, those are worse, they are made with...

Joseph: NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW HOW YOUR SNACKS ARE MADE.

Employee: Good, because I REALLY didn't want to explain about the Chicken Sushi... I'll just say one thing, it's not chicken.

Joseph looks at the camera and at the Employee with a sad expression.

Joseph: I'm glad I don't eat here.

Philip: Okay, okay, enough talk, did you see someone strange here recently?

The employee takes a good look at the trio, who are making weird faces.

Employment: Yes.

Philip: ...

Philip: Alright! We're going, come on, helper, let him go.

Joseph hits the ice with a hammer and chisel, breaking everything. They go to the outside of the restaurant and sit on the sidewalk.

Philip: Let's interrogate some more people.

Chris: I know someone we can interrogate.

The scene changes to the Big Bad Wolf, hidden in a bush in the middle of a forest, watching a Little Red Riding Hood pass by.

Big Bad Wolf: Hmm, picnic basket, snack time.

Out of nowhere Joseph, Philip and Chris appear.

Joseph, Philip and Chris: STOP!

Big Bad Wolf: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?

Philip: Well, you know, mom loved dad a lot and...

Joseph: TOO MANY DETAILS!

Joseph comes closer to the wolf's ear.

Joseph: I came from a scientific experiment.

Big Bad Wolf: What do you want here?

Chris: YOU ATE MY SNACK DIDN'T YA?

Big Bad Wolf: What? What snack?

Joseph slaps the wolf.

Joseph: Another one who likes to ask.

Chris: You know what snack! We know you're a glutton, tried to eat 3 pigs and even ate an old lady once.

Philip: Chris! This show was supposed to be family friendly.

Joseph: Yeah right, look who's speaking, "Mr. Daddy Loved Mommy Guy".

Philip: Mine was a valid example.

Big Bad Wolf: LISTEN! I didn't eat any snacks, in fact, if you read my stories you can see that I always fail to eat anything.

Chris: Go on..

Big Bad Wolf: But I know someone who is rude enough to eat other people's food without asking.

Joseph, Philip and Chris: Who?

The scene changes to Goldilocks analyzing the bears' porridges.

Goldilocks: Too hot, too cold, perfect!

Joseph, Philip and Chris appear out of nowhere.

Joseph, Philip and Chris: STOP!

Goldilocks chokes on the porridge and spits it all over her face.

Goldilocks: AAAAAH, COUGH, COUGH, WHAT? WHAT?

Chris: So you like to eat things without permission, right! Did you eat my snack?

Goldilocks: No! No! I swear! I don't even know you! But... I know someone who likes snacks.

A montage with the trio interrogating other characters starts, firstly with them talking with Shaggy and Scooby-Doo, then Garfield, then Hansel and Gretel. The scene then changes to the tired trio seated in a couch in their house.

Philip: Who we still need to interrogate?

Joseph: Goku, Naruto, Greedy Smurf.

Philip (excited): Ooooh, did you say Naruto?

Chris: Oh, forget it, we'll never find out who ate my snack, let's just leave it behind.

Chris walks out and Joseph follows her.

Philip (mentally): Hmm, wait... behind?

A light bulb suddenly appears on Philip's head and he has an idea.

Philip: I GOT IT!

The scene then shows all previously interrogated characters and the trio in a room, Philip is standing in front of everyone while the rest is sitting in chairs.

Philip: Now, you must be wondering why I called you all here.

Joseph: We are not, smart guy, it is literally the plot of the whole episode.

Big Bad Wolf: And why do we need to be phere? We don't care about a stupid snack.

Philip: You are here because we need more people to play Among Us.

All previously interrogated people leave the room, only leaving the trio.

Philip: Rude people.

Chris: WHO STOLE MY SNACK!

Philip: Well, Chris, I was in doubt, but after you said "leave it behind" I remembered something! Who is the only person who can be everywhere at the same time, and is the only person who in all cartoons, comic strips, films and everywhere never eats?

Chris: Me.

Philip: The cameraman.

Chris and Joseph: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH, what?

Chris: This is a text, we don't have a cameraman.

Philip: But here we have a NARRATOR!

Chris and Joseph: AAAAAAAAAHHHH.

What? How can he...

Philip: COME ON NARRATOR! I CAN SEE YOUR TEXT! ACTUALLY SHOW YOURSELF!

Narrator: What?

Philip: Admit it, before the episode started you saw the snack and decided to eat it.

Narrator: O-Of course not.

Chris: IT WAS YOU! I WILL EXTERMINATE YOU!

Narrator: Of course it wasn't me, I was... I... I was! I WAS!

Philip: You can't fool me, Narrator.

Narrator: Grrr, ALRIGHT, IT WAS ME! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

Chris: No! We still have to find out who you really are.

Grr alright... I, the narrator, materialize myself in front of Chris, Joseph and Philip.

William: Here.

Chris, Joseph and Philip: William?

Philip: Wait, William, are you a narrator?

William: Just for this pilot, the normal narrator is sick today.

Joseph: The guy missed the first day at work.

Chris: It doesn't matter, TIME TO DIE, FOR MY SNACK!

Chris starts to fight with William like crazy, a cartoon fight cloud appears and they start to move around the room fighting! The scene changes to Joseph and Philip.

Philip: So wait, my logic was wrong! If the original narrator were working today, William wouldn't be caught.

Joseph: Well duuh, who puts together a random phrase and thinks that would solve a whole case that easily?

Philip: It works in the movies.

Joseph: Well, at least MY logic was right! I told ya it's always the first person to be interrogated, didn't I?

Philip looks angrily at Joseph and then at the screen, and shows a sign saying "Cliché ending, isn't it?"

[kaiba-fangirl]

...there’s so much I could try to say, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to explain, that YES, hating someone while still wanting, and working so hard to get their approval - acceptance - love - acknowledgement is... very... normal? well maybe not “normal,” but, that is what happens in those situations... 

For me, “the old lady” I refer to, who you can read all about on my main blog, is not Gothel, but a way for me to refer to my dad’s mom without continually saying “dad’s mom,” to STILL give him the chance to separate himself from her, and because I have not sincerely referred to her as a “grandmother” since I was about 16. She was a third parent in the house since before I was born, til she finally died in 2010 when I was 22, but she ALWAYS- always, always, always, said that we were not her family. Probably the least of her transgressions. She messed us all up. When my dad was 17, he started a small, roadside, seasonal business. Wreaths and grave blankets. Now, as the area has grown and been built up, but other stands have closed down, our business is growing faster than we can keep up with. I started really working days out there when I was 12. But I hated it with a passion. Every year I wanted to hear that we were going to close for good. My feet were always numb from the cold, my shoes soaked through, my hands cut up and frozen, nails broken, just bitterly, freezing, fucking cold. In highschool, the weight room helped a little bit, but I’m still a girl and didn’t get any natural boost in muscles from puberty, unlike my brother. My back and shoulders have always been perpetually stiff and tight, muscles so sore and exhausted. Our work days have grown to 18 hours, and that’s with summer prep. With sinus infections because my sister is too ‘cool’ for a coat and then spreads her germs. And that’s just the manual labor. The constant screaming and yelling, and crying on our parts, let up a little in 2010 when she died. The next year it was right back, and actually worse. With my dad and her going at it, we knew what to expect. Now, there’s no scapegoat, no reliable malicious instigator. It’s just him versus us. For any reason. And, I’ve noticed myself turning into horrible middle management, snapping and screaming at my mom and siblings that *I* need things done, because if my impossible task list is not done, then *I* will be the one to hear it from *him*. And I hate seeing that come out of me. Good old “Blood, Sweat, and Tears.” So many tears, so much sweat, surprising amount of pain... At least we’re only open at Christmastime, right? But around, maybe 2006? I think I had already started college. My dad FINALLY, since I had given up on trying to convince him, decided to start using more different materials, nicer materials like velvet ribbon and silk flowers, instead of just plastic everything. Those new “fancy” designs (as per the materials’ Chinese names) have been growing steadily by 33% each year since then. I finally liked the designs I had to make, and felt like I had been listened to, even if I didn’t get credit. It was stuff I had pointed out a couple years earlier at our suppliers’ stores, but was always shot down. This also became my department. For the longest time, *only* I could make these designs, and made them with more precision and finesse than he could. I genuinely wanted to see these WOW people, and took pride in how each year, we did better than the last. I actually wanted to succeed. My brother and I began our off-the-cuff commenting dreams of having a permanent store someday, and how we would expand the place bit by bit. I also discovered Under Armour, Hot Hands, and made my mom invest in good boots for us all. Dec 22, 2011, I thought my dad was literally going to kill me. It had been an all-day screaming match, the likes of which I had never participated in nor seen. He found out, as we were opening, that I had plans to fix a friend’s laptop for $50, since it promised to be a slow day and we had more people working than we really needed. Still, I would do it out in the trailer and just supervise, or stop and make something if I was needed. He also thought I was late getting out to open, which was actually not true but he kept accusing me of lying all day. He flipped out, forbade me and my fiance from working, and forced me to sit with him at my desk, beside his desk, all day, while I fixed that laptop, and he screamed at me and called me names. And I screamed back, but refused to truly retaliate; I just wanted him to stop. The day ended with me in the trailer, in a ball on the dirty wood floor, trying to disappear, crawling into a pile of wreaths with my head brushing cobwebs from under a table, while he leaned over me, closer and closer, screaming at the top of his lungs and spraying spit in my face. I finally gave up, tried to bargain that if I said I was lying, would he stop? He refused. My fiance ran up, and froze, realizing that he was about to throw him down the steps, but that that would only make things worse for me. Luckily, my dad saw the look in his eye and left.  His excuse, when I found him asleep in his desk chair at 9:15am the next day? (We open at 9am.) He was sleepy, overtired. That’s why he lost it the day before. ...I haven’t fixed a computer for money since... ...things haven’t been the same for me since... I’m more scared of him than ever. I hate him more than ever. I wish I could get him out of my life, but he’s so enmeshed in everything. -- I also try harder than ever. I’ve been more focused on the business, taking on more responsibility, staking my pride in it and growing my confidence when I’m out there, talking to customers like I’m in charge, because I am-- out there. Just not overall. It’s... because I have tried so hard to make this business succeed, with my own ideas, and my whole body -- I see the numbers go up, I see customers rave and be so appreciative and thankful, I see family friends stop by and be amazed. But... it’s never enough for him. He hasn’t lost it so bad since then, but I still feel everything still cutting right through me. Loser, Liar, Pathetic, Stupid, Lazy... One slip, and everything can be perfect and you could have done everything right, but if he takes your “tone” the wrong way, heaven help us all... I can’t even ask him a single question because it might set him off. He’s worse than a boss or a father, cuz he’s both combined, wrapped inside a giant workaholic manchild who never got his mother’s approval; without that, I KNOW that he has none to give.  For a while now, certainly since 2011, he’s been saying how they would get along just fine without me. Not, “Focus on your degree, don’t worry about this,” but guilttripping me back there on the weekends and every spare second of my time. With other college problems, I was there for most of all of those seasons. ...this past Christmas was the first I skipped, to prove this point. And he said they really could have used me, and it wasn’t the same. I was also finally officially diagnosed with Major Chronic Depression in August, and he met -and talked for over an hour with- a woman in November buying a gravecover for her son, who had just committed suicide that year. (My parents have no concept of depression not necessarily being linked to suicide. I am not and have not been suicidal.) It hurt my heart to not be out in the brisk cold, working my arms out, physically accomplishing concrete things, dazzling customers with our shiny new ribbon and flower combinations, having them watch me deftly cut and nimbly flip ribbon around, while also roughly wrestling the same piece. He also tried pitting my brother against me, saying how he basically did everything and must care so much more. I said great, glad he’s doing so well and learning so much. My brother held nothing against me for not being there. (His mother would try to turn us 3 against each other all the time; old hat. Not gonna happen.) I missed it. I still hate him. Why do I want HIS business to succeed? To prove myself to one of my worst enemies... I guess? I just happen to also have to share oplatki with him after we close.