#//The Kae thinkings it gives me lol

[dutybcrne]

Finished watching Apoth.ecary Dia.ries and I

[bitbrumal]

kicks down the door  i WANT dainsleif & kaeya conflict that’s so complex they’re grasping at each other knowing they’ll tear like wet fucking tissue paper. kaeya the would-have-been prince of a kingdom long lost, a loss accepted by dain - & yet, kaeya as a symbol of some far-fetched rebirth. even though it will never be real--an acceptance so fully come to terms with, made peace with, that it makes of an idea some gentle soothe.                     never real because kaeya will absolutely                         never tolerate being used for that purpose. dainsleif, perhaps expecting the delusional puppet of the alberich clan — & kaeya, expecting as always to be doomed by any connection to his home country. any recognition by it. the biting, snarling conflict clad in a composure so controlled it will ache at the seams as they see in each other all the things they fear most, at least where related to khaenri’ah.

kaeya who wants nothing & yet everything; greedy for the light that flickers so rarely in dainsleif’s eyes - their weight upon him a thing not so difficult to dissect when the foundation of his response is well known. there’s no better way to get to know a man than to know him where he breaks.         kaeya, terrified. dainsleif, horrified.

& each the only place where that can be wholly understood.

[1uvtae]

mistaken very much | jeon jungkook

★word count: 7.4k words!!

★genre: nothing but university romance fluff and very unfunny crack because i have the worst humor,,,look, there's this tennis classmate, and maybe....you've made a pretty big mistake by staring at his butt....? and somehow this turns into a 'crush' on the jeon jungkook that you have never even seen.

★summary/snippet: you don't think staring at his butt cuts straight to the conclusion that you, y/n y/l/n, has a crush on him....but whatever. it's not like you actually have a crush on him...right?

★kae chit chats: forget about motorcycle boy, let's invite tennis boy into the family!!!! this was meant to be posted on v day 2022 but i kind of messed up my sleep schedule and just completely gave up on finishing this lol...,,,nothing but a fluff fic :P and I picked this back up in 2024 lol

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︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

the feeling of being mistaken by someone is so fucking annoying. 

especially when you have probably just been mistaken as a pervert…!

the boy in your tennis class (not to mention, very handsome.) was just squatting in front of you, playing with the school campus cat that you have also been taking care of for months. you were also heading to feed the cat when you had already found him there, squatting down, caressing the cat. he was wearing a white button-up and baggy ripped jeans, but you can’t help but notice that….half of his shirt wasn’t tucked in? and it just looks like it’s dangling out like seaweed…? 

after staring at the white fabric for a few seconds, you look down at the bag of cat food, before putting it in your pocket, planning to feed the cat after he leaves. but when you lifted your head back up, your eyes met with the boy, there were no emotions in his eyes but you felt a hint of shyness rush to your head, and the idea that you were going to feed the cat floated away from your head as you immediately rushed back to your dorm. 

nayeon listened patiently and childish complaint that there was also someone looking after your cat, and how he mistook that you were staring at his ass for a good few seconds, before commenting: “don’t you realize that…he might think you were there to stare at him…..and how you ran away when he saw you…that’s quite suspicious…?”

you freeze. “holy shit.” 

nayeon giggled as she continued. “also last tennis session! you were zoning off at the back of his head, so when he turned, he gave you this weird look.” 

“no freaking way. i didn’t notice that.”

“it was a funny look, not going to lie.”

“help, what if he actually thinks i have a crush on him cause i keep staring at him?!” you try to contain the racing thoughts, and contemplate if you should’ve just kept your eyes pierced on the ground and not on his ass, or the back of his head.

“i mean he’s pretty good-looking, it won’t be weird to have a crush on him.”

you roll your eyes at her comment. “i don’t get it, it doesn’t mean everyone has to have a crush on him just because he’s good-looking, nayeon.”

it was the next tennis lesson, and to avoid more unnecessary interactions, you avoided all eye contact with anyone, but that didn’t stop nayeon from squealing and reporting every small movement from the boy. “he’s facing your direction!” “oh my gosh he’s right behind you!” your hands start to clam up with sweat with every small comment from nayeon. “stop looking at him, gosh.” it was after the lesson that you realized how even more suspicious you looked trying to avoid any eye contact and how often nayeon reported his movements in small mutters and whispers, and how you most definitely looked shy enough for anyone to mistake that you like the ‘good-looking tennis classmate’.

the teacher checks names off the clipboard as she reads two names at once to put their tennis equipment away. “nayeon, y/n.” she looks up at the two of you and back to the heavy boxes of tennis rackets. “the boy in the back, the tall one, help them with the boxes, please.” you and nayeon turn your head back in sync, to see the familiar boy nod and walk towards the both of you. you let out a sigh as nayeon excitedly squishes your arm, another strike. 

is this perhaps….hopelessness? 

yup, not only the boy, but everyone in your tennis class probably thinks that you have this awfully obvious and big crush on this person who you don’t even know the name of.

he cuts in front of you two, the three of you in complete silence. you and nayeon follow him like two cautious cats. he stops at the heavy boxes, and you two walk up to help him, but before you know it, he has already picked up the boxes with one hand, the other hand reaching into his pocket to answer the buzzing phone. what the fuck. you two shared a glance in disbelief, not going to lie, that was very, very, attractive. “damn. pretty tough.” you mutter under your breath and feel the two people from either side look at you immediately, his hand still holding the buzzing phone and nayeon giving you a concerned glance. 

the way back to the dorm was filled with your quietness and nayeon’s laugh. “he probably used to think you were just someone who had a crush on him, but now he thinks you are a literal weirdo who has a crush on him.” you run your hands through your hair in annoyance, how did the sentence even slip through your mouth? looks like you won’t be getting sleep tonight. and you sure didn’t, you kept rolling and shuffling in your bed to think of a tactic to this misunderstanding that you and the tennis boy had going on, and with your smart and very intelligent little brain, you figured out a plan.

“to not make him think that i have a huge fucking crush on him, i am going to pretend i have a crush on somebody else.” you take a sip of your coffee as nayeon nods. “hmm…who else is there to ‘like’?” you think hard before coming to the conclusion that there is no one in your tennis class that is worth ‘liking’. nayeon helps you to think for a good minute: “min yoongi from music…?” you shiver at the thought of your cold and savage music seatmate. “if you really want me to die, just say that.” nayeon chuckles at your comment before going back into the deep search for a suitable ‘crush’ for you. “i heard the tennis dude is in geography.” 

“geo!” another friend of yours popped into the conversation. “they have so many hot guys there!” 

you felt a rush of excitement: “recommend me some!”

“what’s your type?” 

“maybe… a pretty quiet one, maybe shy even? not that popular so no one will care if i like him, you know?”

nayeon shakes her head. “you can’t expect someone to be good-looking and not popular, y/n.”

“i think jeon jungkook.” your other friend suggested. “he’s quiet but literally more than half the school likes him, but that won’t be as weird if you also ‘like’ him, cause everyone likes him.” 

nayeon nods in agreement. “never seen him in my life, but i swear i hear his name mentioned on campus wayyy too often.”

hm. interesting.

the next week came by fast, before class you made your way to the disposal machine and picked up a can of coke, putting it in your backpack before heading to tennis class.

it was free time when you made your way to where the tennis boy was, he was practicing with the wall, he spared you a glance as you walked towards him, and back to practicing with the wall. you take a big breath as you walk towards him, the coke still in your backpack, expecting that when he drops the ball, you are going to pick it up and hand it to him, making it a perfect opportunity to start the ‘conversation’. you lean against the fence, waiting for him to drop the ball. 

not even once has he dropped the ball in the 10 minutes you have been standing here. you feel your legs start to cramp up. finally, he decided to rest for a good while, catching the ball with his right hand as it bounced off the wall, he lazily walked to his bag. you immediately rush over with the can in your hand. he looked at the can in your hands, then backed up to you. you couldn’t help but take in his facial features. it was the middle of the day, and the sun was high up in the sky, warming everybody up, and it seemed to warm your cheeks up when you made simple eye contact with the boy. 

he raised an eyebrow at you as if he was asking a rude and straight ‘what are you doing?’ with his facial expressions. you felt a small taste of regret that second, thinking that this boy definitely thinks you have an obsessed crush on him now, so the only thing you can do now is hope that the next few things you are going to say work out. 

“i bought coke for you.” you mumble as he takes a big sip from his bottle of water. “i don’t need that.” he has a straight face and everything. you take another deep breath as you figure out what you are going to say next. maybe this can be a little fun.

“are you free right now? i have something i want to say…” you tried to act as natural as you could. “i'm gonna practice.” he replied coldly before taking his equipment back to the court, your hand found his arm quickly, then released it in a second when he stopped in his tracks. “it’s just a few sentences.” you used a pleading tone, hoping this would convince him that you were going to ‘confess your crush’ to him. he patiently stopped and looked at you. you start your act, stuttering and acting shy, everything you have seen in romance confessing scenes in films. “well. i’ve noticed you for a long time…” you take the can of coke to hide your face as if you were a blushing mess. “i don’t know if you noticed that…” the ‘obviously you have a crush on me’ expression never left his face. “haven’t noticed.” 

you suppress an eye roll. “all i wanted to say was, i knew you’re in geography…i just wanted to ask if you know a jeon jungkook, i’ve had a crush on him for pretty long, can you help me to get his number?” you definitely want to give yourself a pat on the back, a round of applause even. you felt proud of yourself, proud that this ‘plot twist’ you have created for him, will deflate his ego and convince him that you never had your schoolgirl crush on him, but on this jeon jungkook that you have never met.

the tennis boy didn’t even raise an eyebrow at the comment, still calm as ever. “i don’t know him.”

it's even better that you don’t know him. you thought. all you wanted to know was to share the signal that you have a crush on someone who is not him., you didn’t even care to want jeon jungkook’s number, it was all an act to ‘spread the message’, you pretended to be extremely upset that he did not know this crush of yours, whining an ‘awe~’ and nodding slowly, “okay then…”, leaving him to walk away without sparing a glance at you.

you don’t know what’s wrong with you now. 

before you and this tennis boy had this thing going on, you never seemed to be seeing him around campus. but now after the last interaction, you seemed to be seeing the person everywhere. seeing him in the supermarket, seeing him in the cafeteria, seeing him in the library, seeing him between classes. 

and you know what’s more ironic? it’s always when you’re also with nayeon. you know nayeon’s dramatic acts are to notify you that ‘the boy that thinks you like him’ is over there, but from someone who doesn’t know this situation, it looks like she’s trying to tell you ‘there’s-the-boy-that-you-have-a-huge-mother-fucking-crush-on’. 

and the weird thing is, although you had explained that you like jeon jungkook, he seemed to still have the attitude that you are obsessed with him. especially when you bump into him and are forced to mutter a ‘hi’ or ‘hey’. all he would do was a gentle hum in response, or just nod. and you made a keynote to yourself to never say hello to him ever again. 

the main point was when you and nayeon saw him in a convenience store. you two quickly made your way out as soon as he and his friends walked in. but nayeon saw somebody she knew and immediately started chatting along as the social butterfly she was. you watched from your side-eye as he and his friend walked out of the door.

“isn’t the girl in the beige crew neck your little fangirl?” an unfamiliar voice came from the side, from a boy with soft blonde hair, walking next to the tennis boy. 

and then you hear it.

you hear a “mhm” of confirmation from the tennis boy. you felt a rush of anger run to your head as you retained yourself to scream at them. and then you watch the blonde boy spot you and nayeon, awkwardly, he turns away quickly and walks off with the other. but the other did not awkwardly leave, turning back to glance at you without shame. and that boiled your blood even more.

on the road back all you did was scream and mutter some curse words dedicated to the unshameful tennis boy. 

“don’t you think he might think that the whole jeon jungkook thing was an excuse you used to get closer to him?” nayeon spoke slowly after you had expressed all your anger. and you feel your mind pause. 

yup, it sure is hopelessness now if it wasn’t already hopelessness before.

the second morning. you woke up early and the first thing you did was to check on the cat, but you were extremely cautious. you did not want to bump into you-know-who, so you woke up extremely early so you could avoid seeing him. but after squatting down for just a few minutes. the expected happened. there he was, but this time wearing a black silk button-up, the buttons halfway up and you couldn’t help but take a few seconds to stare at him. but it’s okay because you were here first, so that makes you the person he should be waiting to finish with the cat. 

he stopped in his tracks when he saw you, standing in his spot, waiting for you to leave. 

‘do you get it? do you get it!’ you want to scream this at him. ‘this scene seems familiar! because you were in his spot the other day! you were just simply waiting! you don’t have a crush on him!’ you want to shout this all, but you were busy with the cat.

but weirdly today, the cat doesn’t seem to like you. it didn’t even take a single bite from the tuna stick you were feeding it, and it avoided your pats and touch today. 

well..that’s not a very good sign, is it?

“it doesn’t like being touched.” he walked closer, “it might scratch you.” you knit your brows at his speech, you know that. you were here taking care of the cat earlier than this tennis boy…yet he’s giving instructions on how to take care of the cat??

 “i know this cat.” you explain. “it likes me a lot.”

you pause when you watch the cat move away from your touch after your sentence, the cat avoids your touch as it slowly trots over to nudge his leg instead. he squats down and caresses the cat gently, then lifting his head to look at you with a glance, a look that made your blood boil. the competitiveness in you starts burning up like fire, you wave at the white cat, gesturing for it to come back to you. “lulu, over here.” 

the cat doesn't budge, instead, it gives you a lazy side-eye look and back to enjoy the boy's company. is this perhaps, favoritism?! 

“don’t randomly give it names.” he speaks slowly and quietly behind you. “what’s your problem?” you snap back with a tone that does not sound very friendly, and he stays silent as you stomp away. “i’m leaving, lulu!” you yell back one more time, and the cat: still under his touch, eyes closed, relaxed and unbothered. 

okay then…this was your first time fully understanding the meaning and the understanding of pretty privilege. 

“gosh, i was so hurt by that cat.” you complain back in your dorm. “it isn’t supposed to be like this! normally if you give it food, it will love you…but today it was completely under that tennis boy’s control. this is rigged.” nayeon pats the sheet mask she had on her face. “you saw him again this morning?” you sigh. “yeah, unlucky isn’t it?” 

“he probably also thinks he’s pretty unlucky too.” 

“if i knew he was gonna be there, i wouldn’t wake up so early to avoid him.”

“i was thinking,” nayeon starts again with the tone that you do not like very much, knowing this would be another thing to worry about tonight. “what if he thinks you were there just to create this ‘oops i did not know you were going to be here’ scene? like you were waiting for him to come and see the cat too to create this awkward meeting.” nayeon’s guesses always feel like lightning that struck straight into your soul. “and you said the cat didn’t really seem to like you, doesn’t that look like as if you aren’t close with the cat, as if you were there for another reason…? 

that night was one of the sleepless nights filled with overthinking and worry. 

you were heading over to the cafeteria the second day with a friend. in the crowded and loud dining hall, you hear a loud shout of ‘jungkook!’ from one side to the other. hearing the familiar yet unfamiliar name, you turn your head back in curiosity, but instead, meeting eyes with the tennis boy. 

he was sitting at a table with 4 other boys, including the one blonde boy you saw last time when they were walking out of the convenience store. you tap your friend’s shoulder. “hey, turn your head to the big table with the 5 guys, is jeon jungkook in there? don’t make it obvious, please.”

you watch her basically throw her head back aggressively for what seems like 2 minutes, then turn back and nod. “yeah, isn’t he fine?” “holy shit, can you be more obvious?!” but hearing that your ‘crush’ is also on that table, you slowly turn your head once more and scan the boys, then realizing that out of all the boys, the tennis boy is still the most attractive one for you. although you don’t know which one is jeon jungkook, none out of the 4 boys seem to be your type. 

your shoulders drop a little without realizing, disappointed in your ‘crush’. in fact, will the tennis boy think you have bad taste? 

wait, why would you even care about him in the first place…right…?

the second week of tennis class, also your second streak of buying a can of coke for him. but this time, he doesn’t seem as cold and weird as last time. when he saw that you were waiting for him by the side, he dropped his equipment and walked slowly to you. “what?” you feel yourself swallow out of nervousness. “i saw you guys eating lunch last friday.” his brows knit slightly. “who?” 

“jeon jungkook.” you reply quickly as if the name burns your tongue. “you said you didn’t know him last week…” he used an unspeakable emotion to reply. “i think you have the wrong person.” you were confused at the comment, but continued once more. “just say if you know him or not.”

“it doesn’t matter if i know him or not.” he licks his lips and runs his hands through his dark brown hair, maintaining eye contact with you and you feel you slowly lose your breath at the intense eye contact. you clear your throat and hand the can of coke to him, before taking a plastic bag containing some snacks. “the coke is for you, and can you hand these snacks to him?” before he can refuse it, you add another sentence. “if he doesn’t want them, take them for yourself, don't return it back to me, i would feel  very embarrassed if you did.” 

he stayed silent for a few seconds, looking at the items in your two hands, then lifting his left hand to take both the cans of coke and the plastic bag. you let out a long breath. you hope this is obvious enough that you, y/n y/l/n, do not have a crush on him. or any liking. nothing. 

you relax back into your chair, taking in your cup noodles as you listen to the gossip and events that happened today. there seems to be a geography boys vs gym boys basketball game that went on this afternoon, which turned out to be extremely intense and entertaining to watch. your ears perked up at the mention of geo boys. 

you swallow your bite. “so who won?”

“duh, of course gym, they’re the professionals. how embarrassing would it be for them if they lost?!” your roommate answered, “geo lost because two of the best players got hurt throughout the last half of the game.” the thought of the tennis boy ran into your head, and you could not help but wonder if he got hurt too. 

“oh yeah, the jeon jungkook you have a ‘crush’ on also got hurt. think he tripped and hurt his knee or something.” she continues. you nodded before turning to nayeon to ask;“what about the tennis dude? did he play today?” 

“he played too, he was so good, i think i saw him also get hurt.” nayeon lets out a nosey ‘aww’. “you care about him quite much y/n….” you hesitate for a long time, putting yourself into deep thought. “nayeon…this is weird but, do you think that you somehow programmed my brain to take an attraction to him. because i don’t know why i’ve been thinking about and meeting him so much.” 

nayeon knits her brows. “just say if you like him or not…anyways, there’s another game tomorrow, wanna go watch?” 

you don’t know how you ended up here.

you thought you and nayeon were already early, but the court was still jammed with people. you tried your hardest to squeeze into the crowd, once you had finally worked your way to the front, your eyes caught him. 

he stood in the corner, talking to his teammates, the red basketball jersey lazily overlaying a white tee, he ran his hand through his hair, and your eyes could not move away from him. a shout from a girl next to your side entered your ear. “jungkook looks so good?!” but you didn't have the attention for jeon jungkook, your eyes and mind was completely taken away by him instead. 

the basketball game started, your eyes followed him as he took a sip from his water bottle, and high-fived his teammates before entering. a scream came from the two girls next to you. “go geo!!!” the scream caught his attention, causing him to turn towards your direction, spotting you standing next to the two girls. you make a good second of eye contact as you look away and cheer for jungkook instead. 

after giving jeon jungkook a good shout, you turn back to him, but he is still looking at you. you did not know what to do, avoiding eye contact, you scanned the entire court with your eyes but just, not looking at him. he moved and looked away to get ready with his teammates, and you felt obligated to stare back at him. you watch him as he looks away, then lowers his head to suppress a small smirk. 

and that smirk did a lot to you, you could not help but pinch nayeon’s arm. 

the sharp whistle brought you back to life, the game has started. you did not understand basketball and didn't watch games in your spare time. so the entire time, you just kept your glance on the tennis boy. 

and then you spot how his leg definitely got slightly injured during the last race, you could tell that his leg was a little uncomfortable when he was moving intensely. 

but that leg did not stop him from aiming and playing perfectly, when he ran past the crowd, it felt like a swoosh of fresh wind. midgame, the ball has gone out of court. it rolls towards you and you watch as he comes jogging to pick the ball up, then accidentally stepping on your shoes. it was a light step but he immediately looked up at you and apologized. you frown playfully and he moves closer to you. “step on me and then we can be fair.” you bite your bottom lip to suppress a dumb grin, shaking your head and gesturing him to go back into the game. 

you look to your right and see the group of girls rolling their eyes at you.  …arent they obsessed with that jeon jungkook or something…?

without a doubt, geo had won the game. you watched the large crowd of girls rush to hand the players drinks and ask for their numbers. you dragged nayeon away from the crazy amount of students that had created a crowd circling the team of boys. and you two make your way towards the convenience store on the other side of the road. 

you pause in front of the drink aisles, struggling badly to pick a drink. just as you were deciding, a hand reached out from behind you to grab two bottles of coke. “oh, sorry-” you turn your head to be faced with the familiar tennis boy. he walked slyly to the counter, paid for the drinks and handed one of the bottles to you. “sorry for stepping on you during the game.” you shake your head, mumbling that it was fine and takes the bottle with both hands carefully as if you were the one who did something wrong. 

he pauses for a second and grabs the bottle back from you before opening the bottle cap for you naturally in a swift motion. “did you not go and offer your little crush a drink?” he said with a teasing tone. you answer convincingly: “there were too many people standing around, i couldn’t squeeze in.

”oh.” he cocks an eyebrow as he slowly takes his phone out of his pocket. “i was talking to jungkook, telling him that a girl in my tennis class is interested in him, and he agreed to…give you his number.” you freeze instantly. “you want it?” he waves his phone at you. 

this is…a little awkward. to be extremely honest, you don’t want his number, but seeing his bright glassy eyes staring at you, it is a little hard to refuse to take the number. you nod slowly as you bring out your phone, and enter the number into your contacts.

on the way back to your dorm, your finger trembled to type something into the chat, all you managed to enter the chatbox was a subtle and small smiley face. 

quite awkward considering the fact that you don’t even know what this jeon jungkook looks like.. 

he replied fast, with just a casual:

‘hey’

you told him that he played really well during the game. 

jungkook thanked you and said that he had received the bag of snacks. 

well, this is a great start. but you can't help but think about what if this jeon jungkook takes an interest in you. 

when you don’t even know who he is in the first place.

the second week of tennis class, you watch the tennis boy walk onto the court with a box of gourmand chocolates. nayeon nudges you when she sees him walk towards you, and stop just in front of you. 

he looked especially calm: “he asked me to hand you this.” you reach your hand out take the pink box of chocolates and thank him with a mumble.

after class, jungkook texted you to ask if you had received the gift, and you two had some small talk. conversations about how your classes went and about his day distracted you, almost bumping into a tree. nayeon laughs as she drags you to the side before that disaster, “might as well go for this jeon jungkook if he’s brightening your day so much, y/n.” 

you lock your phone before linking arms with nayeon. you’ve never realised how often you and this jeon jungkook got along just simply by texting. this situation seems to be a little flirty since he knows that you “like” him. 

“i don’t even know him!! this was just a misunderstanding, there’s no way will i go for him.” nayeon nods her head. “of course i know it’s a misunderstanding, but it seems like it is a good misunderstanding- wait, you’re not telling me that you actually like that tennis guy…right?” 

you stop in your tracks, not saying a word. nayeon cleared the silence: “if you reckon you like the other guy, let jeon jungkook know that this was all a misunderstanding.”

 “that's exactly what i wanted to do, see?” you unlock and show her the texts. “i asked him if he wanted to go out for boba, so i could explain this to him in person, but he rejected and said he has training.” 

he rejected your offer that day, and the day after. 

neyeon jumps up when you read the “sorry, i also can’t do today.” text out: “what the heck!!!! there’s no way he’s that busy?? oh my gosh- he’s a fuckboy!! he’s a literal f-boy that can’t make enough time for all his girls-” 

excellent idea, nayeon. 

you sigh and nayeon notices how your shoulders dropped slightly.

“y/n, how about you tell the tennis guy then, cause you also have some misunderstandings with him, clear the air with him, and he can let jeon jungkook know since he obviously doesn’t have time for you”

you walk into the dining hall, only searching for the silhouette of one specific person. and there he is, sitting alone, enjoying a burger. you walk to the seat across from him, “hey.” the pair of deer eyes lands on you, and he raises an eyebrow. “what?” 

you move at the speed of a snail, taking a seat in front of him: “i have things to tell you.” 

the tennis boy puts down his meal, and slowly squeezes a sentence out his mouth. “then tell me.”

“i was talking about you because you didn’t tuck in your shirt properly the other day.”

“........i wore it like that on purpose.”

“ i was feeding that cat ages ago, like, wayyyy before you did.”

he brought the burger to his mouth, took another bite: “yup. got it.”

“okay then,” you took a deep breath, “i don’t like jeon jungkook, it was all because you misunderstood me, and thought i had a crush on you- which i do not!” you hear a soft chuckle leave his mouth. dude? “what are you laughing about.”

he swallows his bite. “nothing, you go on.”

“i’m wondering if you can go explain this to jeon jungkook….for me?” 

he looks up at you once again. “why should i go explain this to him? you should go yourself.” gosh, he is insufferable. “i really would love to! but i’ve asked to see him multiple times, but he says he is busy every single time!” 

another light chuckle. 

“don’t even laugh.” you feel humiliated, what is the matter? “i’m being deadly serious, can you literally take me seriously?” 

“do you know why you can never seem to ask him out?” the boy stares into your eyes with a hinting glance that you don’t specifically like.

you’re so confused, “no, i don’t know. but that’s literally not the point.”

“well, here’s the point.” he sips his coke and swiftly reaches into his backpack to take out his id, handing it to you. you take the id into your hands and stare at it for a while. “huh?” 

then is hits you, you don’t even know this guy's name. your eyes glance over the id, from the photo to his name..back to his id. his warm dark brown hair looking soft, his doe eyes are soft and very, very pretty. a mole at the tip of his nose, and one very visible mole perfectly under his pouty lips. did you mention he has a perfect smile? 

you almost get sucked into the photo when you realise something. huh?

you unwillingly unglue your eyes from the id and place them onto the face that is currently in front of you. he has the same smile from the id on his face right now. “what does your id mean?” he runs a hand through his perfect locks, “you still don’t know my name?”

something in you clicked. “why are you also named jeon jungkook??” this time, he lets out an even bigger laugh. “i’m the jeon jungkook.” you feel slightly sick. “.....what.”

“who did you even think jeon jungkook was then?”

“i don’t know??? i told you i’m just pretending to like this jeon jungkook person…”

jungkook raises an eyebrow, “you’re not doing much background check before pretending to like them, huh?”

his eyes still fixed on you, now with a teasing tone:” actually you misunderstood in the first place, i never thought you even had a crush on me, until you came up to me and told me that you like this jeon jungkook guy. i was utterly confused, like i thought you were using some creative way to confess to me, get my attention or something.” 

“oh my gosh i did not!” you feel so much embarrassment for yourself, even second-hand embarrassment at this point. jungkook continued: “and then i thought maybe you liked one of my friends, but just got the name wrong. but every single time when i bumped into you, you always seemed to be looking at me first, right?” 

all the blood rushed from your body to your face, and you felt your cheeks flush up. “did not!!!” 

“sure did, doll.” 

“no! see! like it’s all a misunderstanding! you have mistaken me for liking you. it’s not that deep.” you realise you’re extremely loud, causing you to lower your voice to a more softer tone.

“yeah, yeah, whatever you say.” you huff in disagreement, then you realised that you’re not only here to get these words straight but to also admit that you do like him a tad bit….not deny it completely! 

“then who’s number did you give me?”

“mine.”

“okay, so you’ve been playing me” 

“hm?”

“you knew i must’ve gotten something muddled up, but you still text me every day? you’re still giving me snacks? you’re still flirting with me?”

“that’s me being polite,” he mumbled under his breath.

“okay so you do this with everyone.”

“i don’t normally take stuff from other people, or give my number or whatever?”

“then why me?”

“since you’re the one with the biggest crush on me, so i had to be quite courteous.” 

“no. shut up.”

you can’t get yourself to be convinced that you don’t like him, just like how you couldn’t convince yourself that he doesn’t think you had a fat schoolgirl crush on him.

you don’t know what jeon jungkook wants from you! 

after that conversation, it’s like he’s even more convinced that you are in love with him. every time you enter the lunch hall, he spots you instantly, raises an eyebrow gesturing for you to sit next to the empty seat next to him. (as if saying: “here’s your chance to sit next to me, babe.”) when you ran into him in the campus library, he would knit his brows and playfully ask something like “how did you know i was going to be here?”

as if you’re tracking his location or something!!

the next basketball game came very soon. the day of the basketball game you had received a text from him giving you the time of the game and what court it was going to be at bright and early. as if he was certain you were going to go, douche. 

well…that afternoon you showed up with a baseball cap, trying to hide in the crowd. there were way more people this time, how is that even possible? when you got to lay your eyes on him, he was on his phone in the corner, while his teammates were warming up. a little delusional thought popped up in your head. he’s probably sending you a text message…? a notification sound ruined your thought. you feel the corners of your mouth slowly raise as you pulled out your phone from the butt pocket of your jeans.

“Hey! It’s Duolingo.

Make your screen time count. Take a quick Japanese lesson.”

what. you feel a little irritated as you lock your screen and before aggressively shoving your phone back into your pocket, you raise your head to search for jungkook when you meet eyes with him. you didn’t even have to search for him, he was already eyeing you.  his eyes teasingly dart from you to your phone in your hand. dude. 

you were fantasizing about yourself receiving a “where are you” text so you can hit him with a simple and petty  “i’m not coming”!!!!

he went straight into warming up after that short exchanging looks with you, one shot and the crowd of girls starts cheering like there’s no tomorrow. try hard. attention seeker. show off. you think to yourself when you shoot him a dirty glance from the crowd. it’s like he catches that look instantly, jungkook hands the ball to his teammates, and goes back to sitting on the bench in silence. you smile to yourself.

the game finishes and you drag nayeon to sprint out of the court before the herd of people makes it extra difficult. this time, another notification.

jung fking kook : group dinner, u and ur friend wanna come?

you stop in your tracks and text back: nah, i dont even know your friends.

text sent. you and nayeon start walking back when footsteps of someone running up from behind distract you. a large hand grabs your arm and turns you around in a swift motion. 

there he stood, still slightly glowy after the intense game. his eyes looked extra soft and bright under the road light. “let’s go together?” 

how can you ever reject him?

you, nayeon and jungkook went to a hot pot eatery nearby, and you wondered the entire way there if would be so darn awkward when you saw his friends. but thank god, they were way too energetic, to the point they almost didn’t even see you three walk in. jungkook insisted on introducing you to his friends, making sure each and one of his friends greeted you. you leaned closer to him and muttered “how do you know my name?” he whispered back. “not everyone is like you y/n.”

that’s when you figured, maybe he did not tell his friends about the ridiculous things you’ve said and done, since all of them greeted you and nayeon with large smiles. that calmed you down a whole lot. except the blonde boy, park jimin. he seemed like he wanted to jokingly say something, but swallowed his words when jungkook gave him a good glance. 

after dinner, nayeon made some excuses and said she had to leave early while shooting you many knowing looks and childish eyebrow raises. you stand outside of the restaurant while the boys pay the check. this night has never felt so calm on your skin before. you wanted to say bye to jungkook before leaving. but the second the boys came out of the restaurant, the same warm hand placed itself on your arm. “i’ll walk you back.” 

okay. it’s only like 5 minutes but whatever.

there were more people than you expected on the road. usually, you will not pay any attention to the people passing by but maybe because you were walking with jungkook tonight, it seemed like every goddamn couple in the world was next to you two. and everyone recognised jeon jungkook. of course, they did.

he grabbed your hand gently and decided to walk into a dark alleyway. you’ve never realised how nice his hands felt wrapped around your own. in the darkness, you can hear his faint breathing next to you. “lulu used to hunt for mice here.” he broke the comfortable silence. 

you never knew he started addressing her as lulu too. 

“and she had a lover that lived in one of these houses, they used to hang out here,” you added.

“y/n, how do you even know that?”

“i told you i was feeding lulu way before you.” you comment, this is totally a competition now.

you hear him lightly laugh in the darkness. 

the 5-minute walk took at least double the time to get there, some streetlights outside your dorm are old and broken, causing a dim-lit atmosphere. you spot a couple on the side of the street making out. if you walked even closer, you could probably even hear the sickening sounds. jungkook looked extra calm as if he could not hear anything, he walked you to the door and spoke. “you’re here.”

you don’t know what to reply to that. 

“right. i’m home.”

and he turned and walked away.

???

“that’s it?”

“that’s fucking it?:”

nayeon just opened a bag of barbeque chips, getting ready to hear about everything that went down, preparing to be surprised. she sighed to herself. she didn’t even get to get comfortable on your bed!

“he didn’t say anything? you two didn’t even hug?”

you thought to yourself before answering, “we talked about lulu. and that's it.”

“oh my days.” nayeon shakes her head in disapproval “he introduced you to his friends, what is in that little head of his?!” 

“i genuinely don’t know.” you feel a twinge of sadness growing in your chest, “maybe we overanalyzed this.” 

if this is what it feels like to like somebody, you’d rather stay single for the rest of your life. 

you decided to have a good, relaxing shower to get your mind off things. when getting into your bed, you receive a text. 

jung fking kook: breakfast tmrw?

you did not feel like replying, leaving the message read. 

jung fking kook: or lunch? both?

you felt so aggravated, your fingers moving so fast to type your thoughts out without thinking about what you wanted to say.

y/n: you’re so bloody confusing, are you currently demonstrating to me how a guy acts when they know a girl likes them or are you showing me what a guy does when they actually like someone? because this is getting so damn tiring for me, jungkook.

no emojis. you’re letting him know this is bloody serious. 

the grey typing icon pops up from the bottom of the screen, then disappears. 

audio message.

you almost jump off your bed to grab your earphones. popping the earbuds into your ears, you hear the familiar voice. before the voice could even warm your heart up, it felt like a cold splash of water in your face instead.

“hey, look im so sorry, i just- i just don’t know how to tell you this.” 

rejection tastes great, doesn’t it!

another audio message followed up. you disconnected your earphones, you do not have time for this rejection anymore.

jung fking kook: listen to it.

y/n: i’m tired. goodnight.

after typing the “good night” message out, you felt your curiosity eating you up. you pop an earbud into your ear, and press play.

“you’re correct, this is exactly what i’m doing. what a guy does when they genuinely like somebody.” you gasp and before you could even reply, an incoming call from jungkook comes in. 

“hi.”

“hi.”

“did you open it?”

you didn’t know how to respond. you panicked. are you going to say yeah i heard you just say you like me or are you going to play dumb like no bro what did u say haha

“yeah.”

“i knew it.”

“okay jungkook.”

“i’m downstairs.”

“you’re what?!”

“yeah. come down.”

jeon jungkook is going to be the death of you. (end)

here is my masterlist if you want to enjoy some more of my writing!

and until next time, kae.

[dreamerinthemoonlight]

Sleepless Nights HCs (Kaeya, Diluc, Xiao, Albedo)

In which, both they and the reader have insomnia.

CW: Angst, mentions of death, fluff in Albedo's,

 Diluc and Kaeya get some time to cope and process Master Crepus’s death since hoyoverse won’t give it to us

GN! reader (Kaeya, Albedo, Xiao) Fem!Reader (Diluc) 

Ask box is OPEN for requests and chatter

Kaeya

Kaeya doesn’t often suffer from sleepless nights

Or so you thought

It took months, if not years for you to realize that part of Kaeya’s drinking habit was a way to ensure sleep

But insomnia isn’t something he could hide forever, not when his partner suffers from the same damn thing

One night the Angel Share was closed and he couldn’t find any back up alcohol, so he was up. He couldn't quiet the guilt, to questioning. Unfortunately-- or fortunately-- for him, you were up too, stressing over work or something. 

You walked out of your office or room in your shared home to find Kaeya on the couch, his face in his hands. If you weren’t fully aware of the ice underneath that charm, you would have thought he was crying.

You solution to this is to make two cups of hot chocolate--your go-to solution on nights like these-- and sit next to him. When you put his in his hand, he takes it without even looking at you.

“Kae, love, what’s wrong?”

“Can’t sleep.”

“But why?”

It takes some pushing, but Kaeya opens up fully. On nights like these where he just doesn’t have the energy to hide.

He tells you about being dumped in Mondstadt, about being raised by Crepus, and about Crepus’s death. By the time he tells you about his fight with Diluc, your man of ice is crying.

You pull him into your arms, whispering sweet nothings, telling him that he’s not alone any more, the works.

When he’s cried out you brush the hair out of his face.

“I’m here for you, Kae. Lean on me, ‘kay?”

He makes a promise to lean on you, though you figure it will take a while for the concept of being supported to sink in.

After that Diluc starts noticing a drop in Kaeya’s patronage.

Why? Insomnia, and eventually sleep, is far more pleasant when it’s shared.

Diluc

Speaking of our favorite vigilante, he’s no better at sleeping than Kaeya is

Adelinde is always worried about it

His usual solution is kicking bad-guy butt, lol.

But once you get together, he’s quick to notice that you’re always awake when he comes home at night

So, being the caring s/o he is, he seeks you out

“Y/n?”

The night he seeks you out is a quiet one, save for the rain on the tiles of the roof.

You look up from your work, or a book, whichever you feel like doing that night.

“Diluc? You’re home early.”

Diluc shrugs and strips out of his coat. The bare skin of his arms are covered in rivulets of rain water.

Adelinde is quick to bring him a towel, but otherwise, leaves the two of you be.

“It’s too wet to be working. Why are you still up?”

“I can’t sleep.”

When he’s dry, Diluc sits next to you. “Why? Is your bed not comfortable?”

“No, no. Nothing like that. It’s the softest I’ve ever slept on. It’s just...”

“Just?”

You sigh and look away. “I get a bit lonely. I know what you do is important, but I miss you at night. I like being able to say good night and give you a good night kiss, knowing that you’re safe at home.”

Diluc flushes, running a hand over his hair. “I didn’t realize you felt that way.”

“Why wouldn’t I? Of course, some nights, like tonight, I just can’t stop thinking. Work is busy, busier than I’d like and it’s hard to wind down.”

“I can help with that. Come with me.”

Diluc takes your hand and pulls you into the kitchen.

You watch as he starts some tea.

“Dad used to do this for me and Kaeya before he died. I’ve never been able to do it the same way.”

You get up and wrap your arms around Diluc. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

 “Reminding you.”

Diluc’s smile is small and heartbreakingly sad. “I like remembering him like this, y/n. Alive and happy. And he’d probably haunt me if I let grief prevent me from taking care of my lady love.”

Soon it becomes a routine, he gets home and you have tea together, talking about your days and calming down and then going to bed. After the first night, he takes to sleeping in your bed. Well, until you decide that his bed is bigger and much more comfortable. 

Albedo

Sleepless nights with Albedo are angst free

Rather, they are a product of two curious, very active minds

They’re all about the “what ifs” and sharing ideas that don’t seem to emerge during daylight hours

Story telling is also a very common past time

Basically, you guys do this to yourselves and don’t have the decency to be ashamed about it

“What do you think it feels like to live among the stars.”

You and Albedo are sitting on the rocks just outside his cave, gazing at the stars.

Albedo tilts his head in consideration. “I don’t know. Probably cold.”

“Cold?”

“Mhmm. And lonely.”

You turn to look at the blond. “Why do you say that?”

“They’re very far away.”

“That doesn’t mean they’re cold. I mean, I’ve heard that they’re like the sun, right?”

“They’re not close enough together to make the night sky very hot.”

“True. And lonely?”

Albedo meets your eyes and smiles, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Of course. How could I not be lonely without you by my side.”

You choke on your breath, aware pf the heat creeping up your next. “’’Bedo! Warn me before you say stuff like that.”

Albedo just laughs, the sound bouncing off the frozen cliffs of Dragonspine. “It’s true, y/n. I very much enjoy your company. I wouldn’t want to visit the stars without you.”

“I--I’ll keep that in mind.”

The rest of the night, as short as it is, is quiet, uncomfortably so.

It doesn’t take long before you’re returning inside, swearing that tonight is not a good night to be staying up late.

Xiao

So it’s canon, Xiao doesn’t sleep

But that means that when you start having insomnia he has no idea what to do about it

At first he is terrified that is Karma is negatively affecting you, which you insist is not the case. 

So he, very discreetly, visits Zhongli. Zhongli is very helpful, having watched humans for as long as he has, and comes up with a number of ideas. They run the gamut from tea to massages (Xiao blushed a bit when Zhongli mentioned that one) to simply cuddling

After some thought, Xiao choses the last option to try first.

It’s a night like many others, when he approaches you with his ideas. It’s not particularly cloudy, nor is it particularly quiet. If anything, the insects around your camp are making it doubly difficult to sleep. 

But despite that chorus of insects, the night is still bitterly lonely. It chills you in a way no snowstorm ever has. But you can’t bring yourself to call the name that would ease that chill.

The Yaksha always seems so distant, even after months of dating. Distant, aloof, intimidating, all things that you love, even though they’re the source of so much irritation. And he’s not nearly so bad now. But still, he’s hard to call on.

You flop back on your back, turning your gaze to the sky, only to meet a familiar pair of gold eyes.

“Xiao. Why are you here?”

“Why are you awake?” he counters, settling himself on the ground next to you.

“Dunno. Can’t sleep. I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Do you not trust me?”

You sit up, waving your hands in denial. “No, no. Nothing like that. I just didn’t want to be a bother.”

“That’s not quiet fair, y/n.”

“Fair?”

“You insist on being there for me, but won’t call me when you need me.”

“Sorry,” you mumble.

“I went to see Mo--Zhongli today.”

Xiao changes the subject, not quiet knowing how to react to your apology.

“Oh? How is he?”

“He seems good. He was happy to talk to me. He gave me some advice.”

You turn to face your lover properly. “On what?” 

“Helping you sleep. You’re up like this a lot. I’m worried.”

You kick yourself mentally. Xiao is well known for not understanding humans, but he’s never been anything but observant and attentive. Hiding your sleep troubles from him is impossible.

“Oh. I don’t think there’s anything wrong. It happens to humans sometimes. What did Zhongli suggest?”

“This.”

Without offering any explanation, Xiao pulls your shoulders down so that your head is laying on his lap. His hands are unbelievably gentle as they twine into you hair, rubbing small circles in your scalp.

The tension drains from your shoulders and any awkwardness over the position fades. For the first time in days, you aren’t lonely.

You’re eyes water at the thought.

“Y/n? Am I doing something wrong.”

“No. Not at all. It feels really, really good. I guess I just missed you.”

“Missed me.”

“It’s not that weird, Xiao. People miss the people they love. I wish I could be around you more.”

Xiao takes a moment to process your words. “We have our own jobs, but at night, I could come to you?”

You turn your head so that you can see his face. “You’d do that for me?”

“I was reminded in no uncertain terms that spending time together is something couples do.”

“If you want to, I’d love to have you here at night. Do you want to?”

“Mhmm. I spend a little too much time thinking about you during the day. It’s distracting.”

A great warmth replaces the chill in your bones. “The words you want are ‘I miss you’ my silly Yaksha.”

You shift the two of you around so that you’re both curled up on you bed roll.

“Thank you, Xiao.”

“Tomorrow night I’ll bring the tea Zhongli gave me.”

Sounds good. Good night, silly Yaksha.”

“Good night, strange human.”

Xiao might be distant, aloof, and intimidating, but there’s no doubt in your mind that he loves you no less than you love him.

[deathsbestgirl]

So Never Again. Just saw this post and the way she looks up at him there is on a level with Mulder’s famous Fallen Angel eyes and his reaction to her? He doesn't melt? He chooses violence and being a dick? Please tell me why.

i LOVE this question because it is so easy to see it from scully's perspective. it's her episode. but you really have to think about mulder's perspective.

for mulder, this seems out of nowhere, and in his mind she was extremely inattentive with his informant on a case he's taking seriously. he doesn't understand what she's really asking or what the problem is, and a big part of that is she doesn't exactly either. it's almost like she's blaming him for the stand still in her life, but at the same time wants to be seen & appreciated (in a way that she understands, can feel, can see). and i don't think she could have figured it out the way she needed to with mulder. she needed the safety of talking to a stranger, someone inconsequential to her life. (like there's no way she could have that "other fathers" conversation with him lol) so ed jerse is the one to give her that. (she does with ed what she can't yet do with mulder. something neither of them are ready for and she isn't brave enough to do yet. and like. idk i just think she needed this! regardless of mulder lol)

like: "this isn't about you. or maybe it is, indirectly. i don't know." the one thing she got right is "i don't know" lol so of course mulder is confused!!

if you place leonard betts first, she's contemplating what she's leaving behind. has she had any impact working on the x files? on mulder? who is going to remember her? what evidence of her life will be left? in that office...it looks like she's had very little effect. (but i do not subscribe to this one.)

if never again is first, which i like better lollll (it makes more sense to me. i understand why people like lb first, it's more clear cut. it puts a reason behind her behavior. but i just don't think it quite fits. scully literally doesn't know what's wrong. if she was already worried about cancer, i think it would come across differently. but she's frustrated & confused and she wants for something she can't admit, express, pinpoint, articulate? idk what word i'm looking for lol) scully's just hit that point in her pattern again, her cycle...it took her four years, and after some rough cases (paper hearts – she couldn't help mulder despite how she tried, el mundo gira – a dead end. and idk, so many of their cases. and she's always wrong, he always does the crazy thing, he's always hurt)...well anyway, at the end he's still asking "all because i didn't get you a desk?" he still isn't quite understanding, until she says it's her life and he almost says "yes but it's become mine." he doesn't say it, they sit in silence, and in leonard betts, he tells her she did a good job & should be proud. all his little jokes like he's trying to make her laugh, to get back to their usual banter. because he wants to make her smile. so he understood at least a little by leonard betts. but they also come to a silent understanding. i just love the way kae talks about it. and i think the end is kind of the explanation for the beginning. the end is the real answer to the whole episode, and what it took to get there...and this post here, kae just understands him and talks about him in a way that i feel. it's exactly what i see in a way i could never articulate. (and she does my favorite thing!!! connects different moments. the characterization is so good.) and she has such a special insight to both of them, different patterns, but to me two sides of the same coin.

and so, either way, at the beginning of never again, he's completely thrown because he doesn't know. this is when their bad verbal communication and personal issues/insecurities/fears take hold. they're both so good at taking too much responsibility.

we're seeing into scully's mind a bit, but we aren't really seeing into his. but he's afraid, he doesn't want her to leave (something he's feared for a long time), he thinks space is the answer to whatever's going on. but he's also kinda needy and he can't just say that. so he calls her and they misunderstand each other again and she makes a date. he isn't trying to be an ass but he's scared & defensive, and he gets like that when she makes him nervous. like whenever she believes (beyond the sea, revelations, all souls, en ami). it feels like that to me. he's afraid, but this time he thinks he's the problem, their work is the problem. and he kinda said the worst thing he could say to her at that moment. "you were just assigned" — he has no idea how she understood that, how it hurts her. (and she's not thinking about how he means it, what he thinks/feels/fears.) and really, it's because she sucks at just saying the thing as much as he does. it takes them a long time to work out their direct communication. their unspoken communication, the way they work on their cases doesn't translate to their personal relationship. as intimate as their partnership is, working through their own issues takes time and it's those things that hinder them moving forward for so long. ya know?

i think @randomfoggytiger talks about it beautifully here — in depth essay on never again. here they touch on mulder's fear/walls & scully's insecurities/needs. it's a journey!! which they talk about here. and i forget what this one was (lol) but i'm sure i saved it for a reason: a little master post. i love the way foggy breaks things down, especially visually. it's something i could never do.

i also reblogged some other never again posts. not completely on topic but it's all connected!! (you can definitely go through my never again tag to see more probably too!)

[sheepie-self-ships]

HOW WAS SEEING YOUR BAND LIVE!!! OH MY GOD!!! I WANT TO KNOW ALL THE DETAILS!!!!!

AAAAAAA IT WAS SO SO SO SO SO GOOD 🥰 i loved every second of it… maybe not all the waiting but omg…

So like first off we accidentally got there 2+ hours early, I did not mean to get there more than 2 hours but I did want to get there reallllllyyy early, so we were like 3rd in line. I got to see the band walking out and stuff (probably to go get dinner… like normal people…) and then we got in after the 2 hours, and I RAAAAAN to the barricade. I got yelled at 💀 but I made it to the PERFECT spot to see Bones.

He was right in front of me the whole time… the openers were also AMAZING, we got to see l.eft a.lone and the a.ggrolites, and they were fantastic. Aggros really set the tone for the bats before they came out. We were right up front so all the bands saw us singing our little hearts out, even to songs they didn’t think many people would know. Ik the commander def pointed us out a few times :p

The real kicker happened AFTER the show, though. We waited sooooo long, and we had so much stuff to give the band members. I got some of them some socks, I made EVERYONE a bracelet, and my roommate made comics for them, and I drew the cover for it, so we really wanted them to see them. The commander did get one on stage but we didn’t get to give them to the rest of the band… we got ushered out of the venue, and out of the parking lot eventually. We got to talking to some guys and mentioned we traveled pretty far to see them, and they said they’d give them our gifts and they’d see what they could do. A wonderful couple also tried to give us their backstage passes, but an employee saw the exchange and kept us out 💀

So we waited…

And waited…

And waited…

And some of the newer/guest bats came out, not the main guys, but we got to meet the guest keyboardist, G.orney, and J.ohnny C.hristmas! It was so cool meeting them, and we got to chat a bit.

And we waited…

And waited…

And then, in the distance, I saw a really tall guy, and thought, “could that be… no, he’s probably just someone leaving the venue” because he was looking at his phone, and then it really was who I thought it was, their sax player Jimmy! He was so so nice to us, and he held like a really long conversation with us and was so sweet.

My roommate asked if he could tell us how he joined the band, and as he was telling the story I looked behind him and saw a guy with long hair approaching and Froze. Like… omg that was Ian, the guy who plays Bones. And I just kinda tried to bring my attention back to Jimmy, but Kae (roomie) was trying to point out the quickly approaching Ian and I was trying to stay chill 💀 but he was also so super kind, he took pics of Kae and I’s shirts and I even got him to sign mine, as stated earlier lol.

And then the drummer, Ricky came out too!! We didn’t get to talk with him very long, but we got photos with the three of them individually, and it was really really nice they took time out of their days to come see and talk to us. They were so sweet, and it really made my night. We werent talking with them terribly long but we had waited many hours after the show to meet them, and it was soooo worth it.

[diddybok]

okay guys. wowee. what a busy six months it’s been for me.

i have finally—successfully—completed university! what the fuck. 😀😀. the thought of me actually finishing and going to GRADUATE later on this year has hit me in bursts, but i don’t think i’m allowing myself to properly know that i’m done with it all now.

whilst celebrating that, i am also celebrating reaching TWO THOUSAND+ FOLLOWERS on here!!!

guys! what the heck!!! imagine 2,000 of you in a room right now?! we are united as one😏 YANITED!!😆

no but honestly thank you all so so much for sticking around and or joining the coop! i’m doing this for all of us so i can’t wait to see how we grow!

i know i’ve been in and out, it has just been super fucking crazy for me. i haven’t had like a proper break to just chill. my brain is so busy that i can barely calm it to read (that needs to change asap🙄).

still so much content to give out to all of you lovely people and i miss putting it out and seeing the reactions to it. reading the comments and reblogs are quite literally my favourite thing ever and part of the reason why i continue to write these silly little stories.

i love you all. bare with me during this transition of…life? but it will be good to be back properly!!

and thank you to those who actually read all of this LOL

-kae <3

also special shoutout to @19marka for being an absolute fucking gem and just truly being the best person i have ever met on a social platform. genuinely you rock, and i don’t use that term lightly😏🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️u’re amazing okay bye

[badmoodbatflowers]

fic tag game

I was tagged by @beri-allen! <3

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

18.

2. What's your Ao3 word count?

183,264 total.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Wednesday (2022).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Who is in control?

Sweet like honey

Of curses and intrusions

Unclaimed

Golden retriever boy

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do! or at least I try to. The mental health has been a bit of a dumpster fire recently but I really appreciate every comment and always try to respond even if it's weeks later lol

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't think I've written anything with a particularly angsty ending, except my lil angsty drabble: But you're not special, you're evil.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think most of my fics end happily bc I am a sap, but maybe Golden retriever boy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I wouldn't consider it hate per se, but I have encountered people who don't know how to use a back button and who think I care that they disagree with my bi4bi headcanons.

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

I literally only have three fics that are not rated E lmao

10. Do you write cross-overs?

I'm not really deep enough in any other fandoms to write cross-overs, and they are never my go-to to read either.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes, one chapter of No such thing as purity with my darling kae (who is not on tumblr)

13. What WIP you would like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I outlined an angsty hurt/comfort wyclair piece that picks up during S1, but I struggled a little with Enid's voice and the complexity of the dynamic given where it falls in canon, so it is mostly abandoned. I think it was a good idea but it requires a lot of time and attention I don't think I can give it rn. Maybe one day I'll go back to it

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I actually don't know that I have one?

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I do fairly well with descriptions/body positioning etc.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes writing dialogue is like pulling teeth.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If it's a language I know well enough, then sure.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Wednesday.

19. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I feel like this changes all the time but possibly If you wanna go to heaven. The supernatural elements were fun and it was a gift for my dear nik, who in turn has gifted me a succubus!Wednesday fic I will cherish forever (killing boys).

20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

If I was going to rewrite anything, it would probably be SLH. It has evolved a lot due to the nature of writing while posting, so I'd probably want to edit and revise it to make it feel a bit more cohesive and trim the fat.

Not sure if you have done this already but @nonamemanga @suchaladyy @the-strangest-person I am curious about your responses 👀

[roosterforme]

Ok my mission for this month is to get completely caught up on your Is It Working For You universe bc you just keep giving amazing and superb writing and I haven’t been able to read or reblog or react to them yet bc I’m soo behind🥲🙃. I’m telling you this to keep me accountable or I will forget if I do not have it written out there in the universe lol

AHHH!!! KAE!! Thank you so much! I'm screaming and crying right now! There's a whole of of them to read, so have fun getting lost in their little universe. Please let me know what you think as you read along, because I love going back and seeing how far they've come!

[isatoru]

i stg every time i see a post from you, your icon is different (i say this with Affection <3)

NOOOO I'M NOT THAT BAD KAE ur lying! ! ! >.> i had the meadow gojo one for a long while i swear!!! like this entire summer basically and in late may when i came back to tumblr. and then i changed it to this hiori one briefly and then went back lol. and that was before u and i followed each other :O where i think i just changed it two times to a different pink gojo one (w the white blindfold) and now back to this hiori one lol!!! but like it was on and off i was still mostly committing to the meadow gojo one this entire time...😞 GIVE ME SOME CREDIT.....🥹

[late-cambrian]

FOR THE AO3 WRAPPED hello !!!!!

3, 6, 12, 18, 19 and 28? i'm being selfish picking tons of questions alksdfjklsjdfk

AHHHH HELLO

first, everyone go read kae's works rn >:( fr find me a better writer, i'll wait

3) What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)

unfortunate for my blue lock besties, but it's a naruto fic lmao. I really enjoyed writing quartz arenite, which is one of my only serious fics. It's a Gaara character study with some background world-building I feel like the show doesn't actually give us about Suna. It also has GaaLee, obviously, because it had to.

6) Favorite title you used

oh geez. I'm gonna have to pick two. for naruto, Bombing Sex-Ed because I think it's so silly. for blue lock, propbably Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn. I mean, c'mon, Pitbull.

12) How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year?

oh DOUBLE geez, I currently have 25 drafts in my folder for blue lock alone. I'm hoping to have at least one Christmas fic for Loser Gate out before the end of the year hehehe.

18) The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

hmmm, probably a tie between Rin and Ness. I really like BachiRin, but their dynamic has been tough for me to write because I feel like Rin is difficult for me to write in character lol. Ness is just OOC, and I have a hard time capturing his, how do you say, crazy-insane Isagi-flavored hate. I just want him to be silly, and the way he simps for kaiser in canon makes me say ness bb girl get off your knees. i write him how i want to (which is correct, i know him better than the author).

19) What's one pairing you want to explore next year?

RAHHHH THIS QUESTION!!!! I really want to dip into Otoya/Karasu/Yukimiya tbh. My roots are haikyuu poly-flavored, and I loooove a throuple. I love their dynamic, and I want to write more Karasu tbfh lol. I also want to write some bachisagi and ness/kurona! I have so many ideas swimming around :)

28) Favorite work you wrote this year?

for naruto, still quartz arenite. super proud of that one <3. For Blue Lock, tbh I really enjoyed writing both Monster Mash and Smash or Pass. smash or pass came to me so fast lol. i loved that chapter, and i knew that i wanted to make it a part of loser gate. i had a blast reading kaisagi authors interpret what they'd do about it in general. big win for kaisagi nation. Monster Mash was super hard to write bc.I suck at world-building, but it was really fun to write and I got to write SaeShidou, which is always a win for me.

thank you for the ask, @kae-karo <3. i love talking about more stuff so it's not selfish, and tbh, would die for u. fr everyone do yourself a favor and check out their works!

[icarianiscariot]

FOR THE FIC WRITER ASK GAME 13, 19, 29?

HELLO KAE THANK U FOR THE ASK :D this got a lil long bc it's excerpts of writing so putting the link to the question list here up top lol

these were fun ones eheheh

13. How much planning do you do before writing?

answered here HOWEVER sometimes i DO plan things.... (usually if me and hua are brainrotting over a particular au, we'll hash out all the details ahead of time LMAO)

for example, the 10tihay kaisae au has an entire outline for it!! the order of events, how i want things to get resolved, little details about each character, etc.

planning usually happens for the Long Complicated Ideas because that way i can keep track of any twists or developments i want to get to before writing them down

(but also i will write Out of Order so usually if i have an idea, i jot the scene down itself and insert it wherever it ends up needing to go lol)

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

HMMMMMMM i could be mean and give u a tidbit i've already sent u sdlfkjskldfj but lemme find something that i'm 90% sure you haven't already seen uhhh....

HAVE SOME RYUKURO

Igaguri's head immediately snaps up from his laptop when Kurona unlocks their dorm door. "Where have you been, man? Everyone is fr—" and despite the hoodie Kurona is wearing, Igaguri's eyes zero in on the hand-sized conglomerate hickey on his neck. "What happened to you?!" Before Kurona can even begin to respond, Shidou follows him through the doorway and gives Kurona's roommate a cheeky wave. "Sorry for stealing your shark. It will happen again."

an eventual tidbit for "home is where your teeth sink, love"!! i'm having a good time writing all these dynamics eheheheh

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

OOOOO have a fic that will never be posted !! hua and i were collabing on a rinsagi hoodie swap fic back in like. april or may? and we both got caught up in other projects and never got to it. i was writing isagi pov so have this:

bachira (12:55pm) why do you need rin-chan’s contact isagi WHY ┬┴┬┴┤( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬┴ isagi (12:58pm) that was creepy never send me that one again bachira (12:58pm) ┬┴┬┴┤( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬┴ Isagi sighs and tosses his phone down onto the bed. At least Rin’s hoodie is the same soft material as Isagi’s own – not that Isagi would’ve expected differently, it’s just… Weird, to be wearing Rin’s hoodie. Because of course, as soon as Bachira had confirmed no contact, Isagi figured fuck it and put on the hoodie he had on-hand. No one needed to know. He looks down at himself, sees “ITOSHI” plastered over his heart, and tries not to think about it. It’s no different than his own, really, just a little bit bigger, the sleeves coming down over Isagi’s hands and the hem a little baggier than his own, and Rin probably never wore it anyway. Hesitantly, he lifts the collar to his face and breathes in. Blue Lock laundry detergent. Of course. Yeah, Rin probably never wore it anyway.

[elegiesforshiva]

HI!!!!! firstly, i hope you have been able to sleep a bit better :( if not, i wish you more awesome cookie eating and zelda playing :) - kae pt. 1/?

i just wanted to say that when you sent out that very first ask about how lovely my messages were with all of your super cute emojis (i’m on my computer so it’s a little harder to send emojis haha) and how you would try to reply as soon as possible and just how much they meant- AHH my heart felt so full and my smile widened across my face!! you’re so cute!! i’m so happy they could provide a bit of brightness to your day. i hope they continue to provide you warmth like an infinite bonfire with toasty marshmallows ehehe you don’t ever have to apologize for taking the time you need to respond!!! (apologize appreciated, but totally not needed!!!) thank you for sharing the tidbits about your process with asks like these! i’m like that too where sometimes i just need to read it and let my brain and being sit with it and mull over it before i can properly feel up to hashing out something back. when i was reading your response to my messages and hm how do i say this - it makes me feel like i have lovely company right by my side … but through my screen LOL. i only hope that others continue to give you so much love and check in on you from time to time and continue to read your awesome stuff!!!!!! i really do appreciate from the bottom of my heart how much love you put in your response right back - from dissecting sasuke’s existence as a victim/abuser to into/sakura’s relationship. again, i just think you’re deeply intelligent, kind and in touch with your personal psyche and are able to articulate your perspective very powerfully, and it shows in the way you respond to people on your blog/in comments and through your writing! /I/ am so happy to mention all the awesome things - and there’s so many other things that i haven’t brought up, but truly Ghosts is such a gift because there’s so much to process in it, and every time i sink my teeth in it, i come out with something else entirely. sometimes i feel like i go into zombie mode but instead of saying “brains.. braaaiinnss” i just go “writing… sooo… GOOOODDDD” and i mean this in the best of ways! like it makes me truly speechless and flabbergasted LMAO again i’m SO sorry for being like “i’m so excited that you’re going to continue writing” i was silly and was just looking through the #sasusaku tag and then assumed the most recent one up was the most recent update and i had already sent my ask and was like uh oh i should scroll through the blog thoroughly to see what is ACTUALLY up - GAAAHhHHH. my apologies again about that TvT and UH HUH i mean this in the KINDEST way possible but literally you have NOTHING to thank me for. there is no patience i am giving you - i feel like not expecting anything from writers in terms of updates, etc. and being on their side when a fic might not get completed is the bare minimum and anyone who says otherwise can be sent MY way (where i will put them in fic 101 boot camp and tell them to write and hopefully by the time they’ve been booted all the way through they will realize how much time and work goes into writing for FREE. i am blowing my figurative whistle at them right now and wearing a shirt that says “kae’s fic writing bootcamp”). i could rant about how readers have no sense of empathy and only have a sense of entitlement yadayada but long story short - you’re awesome. don’t let anyone tell you otherwise - they can tell ME

i’m really sorry to hear that things aren’t so hot - and are only hot in a turd on fire kind of way. i really hope that you are able to get an apartment and get that quiet even if not to write, but just to have some peace in the palm of your hands. (as i’m typing this, i feel my heart beating and my fingers tingling as i try to put into words what i want to say - interesting. kinda freaky. kinda magical. i don’t think it’s quite how i wanna word it but this is what i’ve got). i don’t know if you believe in a higher being out there - weirdly enough i don’t either, but i as a random stranger on the internet, do promise to you that you’ll get there. There is a safe space that you belong to that you will be able to come home to, where you can sleep and meet your dreams and wake and have them walk with you. Your hopes for how i'm doing brought another big smile to my face. i’m really lucky in my life.tThere’s a lot of people that i love and i am loved by a lot of people and for the first time ever I’m really aware of that and it’s a really cool feeling. Sending all of my love right back to you - I’m blowing some kisses your way. MUAH MUAH MUAH <3 - kae pt. 10/10

I hope you know this was an absolute blast to read the first time and it’s no less great as I’m rereading. I’m sorry I definitely don’t have the time right now to give as much love as you gave me so long ago. Thank you for sending this, I need you to know I’m feeling AAAAAAALL the hugs through the screen rn, and have been since you first sent this 5 million years ago lmao. Thank you for them!!!!!!!  🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰

I hope you didn’t actually feel too bad or embarrassed, I still love hearing about how much people adore Ghosts!!! It was my absolute heart for so long and I never get tired of hearing how much people like it!!! I am really glad I could give what I did of it...thank you for loving it as much as you have, and for giving me that love directly in my ask box too...💘

Fandom culture is honestly such a ride right now?? It’s changed so much, and I want to stab western consumerism in it’s small nutsac because I know it’s contributed to a lot of the shittier parts that have been manifesting, including the entitlement of readers from fic authors like you mentioned. I really don’t know how younger creatives are keeping up with these pressures. I don’t know how anyone is. 

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *falls onto my knees and sobs* I forgot how hopeful about my life I was when I last responded to your messages.......pretty sure the crash from those turn of events is what made me wanna dig a hole and never come out of it again. Yeah, the apartment isn’t happening but thank you for the well wishes and all the sweetness though—you’re literally so obscenely kind lmao I love how fun and lighthearted your energy is in these, you’re a darling and I already know anyone who has you in their life is very lucky to. 

Thank you again for all the praises, well wishes, all the love...There was honestly so much positivity in here lmao. It really means a lot to have someone say this to me, it startles me receiving it sometimes. I want you to know I’m giving it all back tenfold!!! I genuinely find a lot of my readers from Ghosts come from a higher level of emotional intuition and processing, probably because of the heavy and dark nature of that fic, but it’s just so cool to see me moving the exact sort of people I instinctively love and admire with my work. I love the arts. I love them endlessly... Sending hugs and kisses kae!!! Sorry for less emojis this round, I’m on desktop too! And also sorry for the long ass wait, I really hope you’re doing amazing these days  💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 🥰 🥰

[deathsbestgirl]

for the least favorite eps: Arcadia, PVB

okay let's go!!!

arcadia.

i watched this one last night and i felt like i had nothing to say. generally speaking, i think a few others have talked about it better than i can lol and they've kind of covered why i love it! and for me, i really have to step back from the general fandom view of it. this is one i have to look at the broader context of season six. if you just watch arcadia, i don't think it hits right at all. (also i think i need to dig into other episodes it reminds me of, but that might be a later separate post. we'll see. usually the connections i find make me love an episode more.)

season six is at one time one of the most msr seasons but also so tense. in the end, diana fowley shows up and it twists scully inside. this woman she knew nothing about, who was there when mulder found the x files & worked on them with him, who's been with him in the way she never has, and she shares mulder's beliefs. right into fight the future, where she may be absent but shes heavily impacting scully. to the point she's ready to walk away, believing mulder doesn't need her & she's only held him back. he gives her this whole speech, telling her how important she is to him, she saved him, made him a whole person. they almost kiss, before everything shatters & she nearly dies. but she's drawn back in. in the beginning, mulder's mad that that she couldn't hand over proof to the fbi, that she won't believe and she clings to what he told her in his hallway.

season six is very tropey, but most of it is also erased, they don't remember the events of dreamland or monday, triangle is a dream/the past. arcadia specifically, is taking a trope fandom usually makes fun or to bring two characters together, and uses it more like mulder & scully are working out some issues.

as kae says, mulder is peak annoying. almost insufferable. but it's these moments that tell us a lot. mulder says at the beginning that 'this isn't an x file.' he's not thrilled with the assignment, he's excited to get back to their work. scully disagrees, tells him 'it's unexplained,' and teases him. but it's tense. i think at other times it would have just been. funny. but he's making marriage jokes, 'not taking the case seriously,' and taking jabs at scully about 'fitting in here' — which is actually misunderstanding what it is that she really wants.

scully was also excited to get back to their work. she was just as bored without the x files, especially with the work they were forced to do. and maybe she did want to 'play house' but i think mulder ruined any fun she was having and her walls went up. so she started being annoying too lol

i love that this episode is tense, a little angsty. but their work partnership is still intact, even if a little strained. they go about their investigation in a fairly typical way, although mulder just tries to piss off the neighbors thinking this is simply human for most of it. i honestly love the way he tries to shake up the neighborhood. it's similar to mr. kline and is ultimately what got him & his wife killed. so he's on the right track (what a surprise). (and even when scully's right that it's an x file, i don't think she's right about anything else lol so classic.)

i always really liked @randomfoggytiger 's mulder analysis & this post lol, and i love the way kae connected the theme of this episode to a common theme running through the show.

i think fandom tends to view this through an msr lens, and not that isn't but it isn't the very in love & together phase of season seven episodes. it's them figuring out how to get there. not understanding what the other thinks or wants, what a relationship between them would like, or what it would mean for their work.

now for some scene specifics that i LOVE.

i love the way mulder reflects the man murdered in the beginning. mr. klein? is so fed up with the ccnrs & the uniformity. he's annoyed by win painting his mailbox. he's excited to get that weird lawn ornament. his wife is very accepting of his bothers, though she doesn't seem to care personally. it's just. it's very reflective of m+s through this episode.

and THIS moment. the way scully puts her hands up to be like 'okay enough, back off.' it's so funny. like. mulder & scully are affectionate. but it's mostly gazing, lower back / arm touches, hand holding...hugging is rare, it's reserved for deeply emotional & vulnerable moments. not just because. but here they have to. and i think that's uncomfortable for them even as they're soaking it up.

then after they're all moved in, as soon as they're alone:

this part says to me they were excited (personally) for this case, at the very beginning they're having a great time. i think scully is even amused by his "honeymoon" tape joke & his (bad) sandwich joke, i love when she throws the gloves at him lol

it's also just funny to me to see how they play these roles. like they just aren't good at it, they're not very subtle. but these people don't know them so it works. the neighbors are overly friendly and overly concerned, and mulder & scully are trying to find out why but they're not the easiest group to crack. despite the intense fear & worry cami clearly feels.

i also think this episode sets mulder up as a house husband, which is soooo fitting. i actually think this is closer to what he talks about in home than he's willing to think about. it's got a small town feel, close knit community, safety. it's just ... extremely suburban with too many rules. and he likes breaking rules atp more than following them. and this time, it actually is his job to break them. this was a perfect case for mulder, with or without the monster angle.

i think i've said this before in other season six talk, but from the moment i saw someone talk about how m+s don't have a blueprint for their relationship, it's the lens i see season six through completely. they start trying to communicate more clearly, not well but they're getting closer. here they're in a very particular limbo (especially after two fathers/one son), where neither of them can deny their feelings (but scully's are "the problem"), and their trust & partnership has been tested. agua mala was about reaffirming their trust & partnership and some off the clock bonding. arcadia is their first on the clock test, which undercover as a married couple is probably also kind of a nightmare for them given their circumstances lol

BUT GENUINELY they were both enjoying it at the beginning, and they have different moments throughout where one is and the other isn't.

one particular thing i love is the way scully puts up boundaries. because i think after a few jokes, and mulder telling her she fits in perfectly...she feels she has to. mulder isn't ready and he doesn't understand, it makes her retreat.

like after mulder sees the monster...scully asks him if he cares to hear what she thinks. he pauses, looking at her, before he tells her "always." they really getting back into step with each other but after hurt & confusion, all the tension...it takes time. they need to hit certain beats to get there and i think this episode does that very well. the moment when mulder thinks scully's been attacked by the creature, that he's about to find her eviscerated. it before that when he's searching the hole they dug, and she comes out speaking quietly & gently, telling him to come in and "call it a night." this is so domestic and partnerly it kinda kills me. he really does always listen. scully is the only person who can pull him back, keep him grounded. and she always give him the space to explore his theories and she investigates them seriously.

the way mulder is terrified when he sees the door and walks into the house. it's every time he's almost lost her flashing before his eyes again, not that long after tithonus. after he could have died in agua mala, before they even patched things up. to me, agua mala, arcadia & alpha build up to milagro, open the door for the unnatural & field trip. it's the perfect set up for biogenesis, the sixth extinction and amor fati. the final hurdle mulder needed. all of these things slowly build scully's confidence back up so that she's ready too. even though she still won't make the first move.

[story-brainstorming]

Established character names from old posts + what I can work into the traits that they have (This is honestly just notes about old characters for me since it's been soo long lol)

Sam (nonbinary/androgenous?) (flip flopped between being an alien and human a lot) they could be a chef, overall they're outgoing and seem to have a bit more free time

Ame (I think their was supposed to be gender neutral from what I remember but now that Im looking at it it's just a weird spelling of amy) (alien) they're a researcher and trying their best to document information about earth and it's inhabitants to the annoyance of many people on board

Kae (alien) works as the human resources department head (Idk if the name or department definition should change) and just generally tries to resolve issues between people (whether the issues are real or perceived)

Rob (alien) they're overly anxious and tend to jump to the worst possible assumption, definitely introverted, have some sort of creative asspiration which led them to apply to be an assistant or something on the ship to use what they experience in their creative work.

Alice (human) they're strong headed and an ambivert, they work as the ship's accountant which means they spend a lot of their time at a desk trying to figure out the ships budget and doing paperwork.

John (only has one line ever and it's cut off to lead into other characters talking) I'm honestly not too sure what to do with them, they're probably just going to be a background character, maybe a temporary intern or visitor? It's either going to be that or they're just going to be cut from the story

Zack (human) I only really intended for him to come across as kind of an asshole before but looking back at it him pushing off all his work to go do something else could be suspicious so maybe there's something going on in the background? They're either a mechanic who has to file paperwork about what he repairs to estimate costs or something along those lines hence the conflict with Alice.

Sarah (human) Initially worked as a translator on the ship but as technology advanced she just ended up as a general assistant with better pay, probably helps Ame with things that don't make sense with a direct translation like metaphors.

Jack (human) really loud, they could work as an ambassador that was brought along just incase anything happened.

All the aliens are kinda of eccentric in my old posts and while I feel like that could definitely be fun I think they need a bit more personality and individuality than just "i'm a alien and OH MY GOD IS THAT SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW ABOUT"

most of the posts mention a doctor so i'll probably make up another character for that along with a few more for a research team unless I want them to have a understaffed ship for the setting. Honestly I'm probably going to make it understaffed just bc I love exhausted characters lol

I'm probably going to to rename most of the cast just because most of these names are super basic which makes sense given the fact I was 14 or 15 when I started giving them names lmao

[drleggman]

lexi!!!!

1. i love you and miss you whenever you’re gone <3

2. what are your main self ships? and can you give me a tiny glimpse of each of the relationship dynamics?

Kae 🥹 ilyilyilyily

My top self ships are probs me/bokuto, me/reiner, and me/tamaki (i got so excited when i saw u and aleks talking about him yesterday! he’s so underrated) !! They’re all like my og self ships too and I’ve kept our lore stored away for years atp, so I’ll talk about them!

Bokuto!! He’s like the stereotypical golden retriever boy, and that’s usually not my type but… Here we are lol. We’re very complementary, he’s the sun to my moon etc etc. We met when I was hired on to be a translator for the jpn national team, and he asked me out after the Olympics were over. He just. Approached me and said “You’re pretty :D I think it’s so cool that you speak two languages :D I wasn’t gonna ask you out bc I thought it’d be unprofessional, but then tsum-tsum called me a pussy, and I’m not a pussy, and” I have to cut him off and we agree to go on a date and hit it off immediately! We both tend to get pouty when something doesn’t go our way and we love to baby each other when it happens. He encourages me to do things I’d usually be to nervous to try, and I encourage him to rest lol. He introduces me to his friends and invites me to hang out with him and the boys on the national team and brings me out of my shell. Our friends think we’re annoying bc of how sappy and affectionate we are. Especially if we’ve been drinking! Just hanging off of each other constantly and arguing about who loves the other more. We never leave the honeymoon phase and spend our whole lives after getting together absolutely obsessed with each other.

Reiner and I, in both a canon and modern setting, kinda trauma bond and become inseparable (boys w mommy issues love me and I love men who cry and are so miserable). We both are in the middle of identity crises and struggle with our sense of self and our place in the world and how to cope with the horrors we’ve partaken in lived through, but we make each other feel so seen in a way we’ve never experienced before. The people in our lives want to tell us that maybe we shouldn’t be in a relationship while still in such vulnerable mental states, but they’ve also not seen us so happy in so long, so they keep their mouths shut. We’re a bit toxic at first in a codependent way. We can’t function without the other and we fuel each others grief and isolate ourselves from the people around us, but after years together, we slowly start to get over ourselves lmao. We grow tired of pitying ourselves and start to be better together, and we both firmly believe we’d have never snapped out of it if it weren’t for us encouraging each other. Which maybe isn’t true, but nobody would ever tell us that.

And Tamaki!! My sweet Suneater <3 This is one of the rare instances in which I initiate everything in the relationship and take on a more dominant role. I was just like him when we met, but if there’s one thing that will snap me out of my anxiety, it’s seeing someone who is just as anxious as me struggling to do things it helps that I think he’s so cute. We meet at Fatgum’s agency, and I wanna be his friend soooo bad, but I know how overwhelmed he gets, so I go slow and am very soft with him. I tell him about how I manage my anxiety, teach him my coping mechanisms, and show him my fidget toys and then buy him some of his own - all unprompted. He was kinda unresponsive at first bc he was confused about why I’d wanna talk to him, but he warms up to me pretty quickly after he realizes that I have the same struggles as him. He starts to see through the false confidence after that, catching me when I’m anxious and picking up on my ticks, and he’ll remind me of the techniques I taught him to help him get out of his head. I’m the “he asked for no pickles” partner, while he’s clutching my shirt and hiding behind me w his face pressed into my shoulder. If he sees me getting anxious, especially when talking to someone, he also gets nervous lol but his need to help me emboldens him. His favorite move is to just like physically insert himself into the situation. Like stand between me and the person and whisk me away to somewhere quiet. I’m much cockier when we’re alone, and I love to tease him and get him all flustered. He loves praise but it gets him so worked up and I looove to shower him with compliments and pet names. I’m one of the few people he lets his guard down around when he’s not in action mode, so he’s just like. Normal when we’re alone. Still soft spoken and sweet, but after being together for a while, his relationship anxiety and worries about looking dumb in front of me fade. anxiety4anxiety all the way but we make it work