#//Sorry im unfunny I giggled

[mikuludwig]

Dude,

I was gonna say thay... euhm... 🤕🤕😔😔😓 eehhu😓😭😭😥😢 eyaaahah 😢😥😥😓😓😭👅😭😭😭😭

How normal is it to throw up black goo.

*It’s standing there in his office, black gloop dripping from its mouth as it stares at him.*

(I get scared to rp because I don’t know if they’ll return the favor 😭😭😭)

Not very, uh… but I don’t know. You’re not human, ja?

[silly-little-mann]

putting ur phone on dnd is so silly like girl phones can't play dungeons and dragons what r u talking ab 😹😹😹😁😁

[breathinlove]

gf!ellie headcanons

read this

sinopse: ellie williams is your girlfriend, modern au.

cw: ig ellie grabs boobs?? sfw tho. basic fluff, ellie is just silly, puppy love again, mention of dealer!ellie, not explicit if reader is fem or masc, not proofread (it's never proofread tbh!).

gf!ellie who pokes your inner cheek with her tongue when you kiss or blows in your mouth "elliuhhhh" ands she's definitely gonna chuckle like "heheh"... she's SOOO SILLY.

gf!ellie who doesn't ever just invite you over, she has to make an excuse, something about how you do her hair better or how she needs skin care.

gf!ellie who doesn't have any stream apps like netflix or prime, she's a piracy master from practice (getting several viruses on joel's old computer).

gf!ellie who watches and listens to anything you like because she loves you but you can see it in her pained face that she's bored, but she'll sit through it and lie "it's cool, babe".

gf!ellie who sends the most unfunny (hilarious) reels, you can hear her wheezing while she's in the bathroom.

gf!ellie who, still talking about her bathroom texts, lets you know like fr "the hardest shit of my life istg that was a rock?" and you will laugh and buy her plums to help your constipated baby.

gf!ellie who has the most fun with you, sleeping at ellies is just like having a girls night sleepover.

gf!ellie who will skin care with you and watch youtube (shes a youtube kid)

"pooks can we watch this streamer now?" she points at the screen, while you untangle her stupid hair. "careful yeah?" she hisses when you catch a knot and you kiss her scalp "yes im sorry my love". and she'll look back at you to give you the sweetest cutest smile that makes you sick to your stomach.

gf!ellie who is a weed dealer but is also a homebody. so goes to them parties just to deal "just business babe" like she's going to the office or sum.

gf!ellie with whom everyone knew you were dating before you two even admited you had crushed on eachother. she'd protest to your friends "no... like, we're real good friends" as she blushed and you giggled 'yeah's.

gf!ellie who has cold ass hands and they're always inside your shirt when you're cuddling

"babeeeee let me warm up" trying to shove her feet inside your pants??? when the laughter dies, her hand that's up your shirt WILL find your tits.

gf!ellie who takes pictures of you when you're asleep, not to tease you or anything, she just thinks you're cute.

gf!ellie who only drives when she absolutely has to... but she's always there to drive you anywhere you need.

gf!ellie who goes "aww you're so preeeetty" out of nowhere and gives you a smooch on your face.

a/n: i need a gf yall, send applications please ❤️

[randomthefox]

I random came across your posts about the Sonic movies and honestly I had originally thought the first two were passible but not great. But I was *so* disappointed by the third one and I feel insane everytime someone talks about it because it feels like everyone on earth thinks this movie is gods gift to man and its???? Not good???

It is a relief to see im not the only one and glancing through i didn't realize how inconsistent the movies were(my memory is trash though so it's not surprising I didn't realize).

I just feel like a crazy/broken person who feels like I'm missing something if this movie is apparently so amazing but its??? A mess???

Not to mention I was already disappointed going in because of knowing Amy wasn't in it. She's one of my favs and she's SO important to Shadow's story but everyone keeps acting like it's no big deal. NONE of the adaptations of SA2 HAS HER DOING HER PART??? IM SO TIRED OF THEM REPLACING HER.

But yeah!!! I'm glad to see some words that finally describe exactly what was wrong with the movie because I struggle with explaining why it's not good myself.

It's so hard to take anybodies stated enjoyment of the movie seriously, because nothing they say they like about it comes off as sincere. It either sounds disingenuous and hypocritical, because they're excusing or even praising things about the movie that they'd complain about when it comes to anything else (The Sonic Double Standard). Or it's completely shallow surface level praise, as if they're literally toddlers giggling and clapping over a set of keys being jingled in their face and actively get upset when you suggest one should USE THEIR BRAIN when watching a film. Or they're just transparently hating on the video games, and their proclaimed enjoyment of the movies is just an outlet for them to complain about how bad the video games are.

None of them ever have anything to say about why the movie's is supposedly good that actually sounds genuine. When they discuss the movie I do not feel the passion of someone who has a sincere enthusiasm for something. The way they talk about liking the movie feels fucking fake. That or they're shoving crayons up their nose as they watch this, the Michael Bay Transformers of video game films.

The movies are so fundamentally SYSTEMATICALLY BROKEN as films it defies belief. Everytime I even think about this stupid fucking movie I remember or discover something NEW about how bad it is and how much it doesn't fucking wrong. Jimbotniks death scene starts with him going "this will be my final live stream" BUT JIMBOTNIK NEVER DID ANY LIVE STREAMS AT ANY POINT IN THE MOVIE BEFORE THAT. I THOUGHT it was just Jim Carrey ad libbing something unfunny or something, but it turns out THERE ARE DELETED SCENES OF JIMBOTNIK LIVE STREAMING IN PREVIOUS POINTS IN THE MOVIE AND THEY CUT THOSE FROM THE FILM. But they KEPT the "this is my final live stream" line. HOW THE FUCK CAN A MOVIE BE THIS FUCKING INCOMPETENT? It's like an infinite onion that has endless layers of sheer parasite infested dogshit.

Sonic 1 was bad because it was literally just Generic CGI Character On A Road Trip With A Live Action Human Movie #828649296 and it was so fucking boring that it did not improve upon the experience of staring at a blank wall for the same amount of time. Sonic 2 was a MILD improvement in relative terms but was still an absolute fucking chore to sit through particularly because of that completely asinine wedding plot. But Sonic 3 is legitimately one of the worst most unwatchably bad "big budget, popular, widely praised" movies I have seen in a long fucking time. It is worse than Dr. Strange and the Multi Verse of Madness. It is worse than ANY of the Sequel Trilogy Star Wars movies. I would happily sit down and watch all three Star Wars Sequel movies rather than endure sitting through Sonic 3 again.

I'm sorry to sound like a hipster, but people are fucking sheep. Following the herd off the cliff. That's the only explanation for why everyone is insisting on this movie being anything more than what I've said about it. There is no other explanation. They want to be part of the crowd, whether it's a feedback loop of people proclaiming the movie to be good and they wanna be part of the In Crowd, or because they hate the video games and propping up the movies seems like a trendy way of expressing that hatred. Or because they are the kind of people who would genuinely go watch the major motion picture Ass

[pjofancalledbelle]

Naked in Manhattan~ Piper Mclean x Reader

AN-Frist post. Before you judge I am dyslexic and British and goofy. So this wlw because Piper doesn't get enough love and theres only like two fanfics. SEND REQUESTS FOR ANY CHARTERS. Also im only on MOA so i dont know how Piper acted with her gf but I'll try. Sorry if it's too OC tell me and I'll try fix it. Also the girl is Percy's sister.

Warnings-kissing and cursing but pg13

(Reader) had invited Piper around to her apartment in Manhattan and they were snuggled under a blanket watching a musical version of a 2000's classic, MEAN GIRLS! "Isn't Regina Gorge like so hot." Piper whispered as she looked at (Reader) out of the corner of her eye. "Yeah totally, I mean she's a bitch, but Reneé Rap soooo hot it's unfunny." (Reader) agreed with a slight blush as she reached her hand into the bowl full of popcorn at the same time as Piper and gave her a nervous smile as their hands brushed. She swore she felt electric shock go through her body like when she jumped up behind Jason and he got nervous. Piper giggled a little as she looked at (Reader) with her kaleidoscope eyes that could make anyone captivated.

"So...you think Rennee Rap is hot? Does that mean you like girls?" Piper asked as she shoved popcorn into her mouth and chewed it. The movie was still playing in the background but neither of the girls was paying attention to it because they were too busy studying each other's faces in the dim light. "I...um don't know. I mean I've never kissed a girl so like maybe?" (Reader) said unsurely as she anxiously fiddled with the blanket and distracted herself by taking a sip of her coke,

Piper smiled a little at the answer and inched closer leaning in. "Well, I've never kissed a girl either so, like, not to make it awkward or anything but we could kiss." She said trying to come off more confident then she felt. What if she had just messed it all up? What if (Reader) got grossed out by the idea? No. Piper had to remind herself her mum was the goddess of love she had this in the bag.

(Reader) was pretty sure she was as red as a tomato now as she looked at Piper and licked her lip glossed lips as her eyes darted down to Piper's lips and she found herself nodding. "Yeah, I'd like that." She said breathily as she also leaned in.

Piper pressed their lips together gently with their lip glosses making the kiss sticky but ten times better. Sure, Piper had kissed Jason and that was good but this. Wow, this was just everything. Piper cupped (Reader)'s cheeks and pulled her in closer the with fireworks going off and she slipped her tongue in just as a door opened and light and giggling from the hallway spilled into the room.

"HOLLY SHIT! STOP KISSING MY SISTER!" Percy yelled as he stood in the doorway with Annabeth standing next to him staring at the pair in shock.

AN- Hoped you enjoyed this short piece. I don't know anything about kissing so that's why I didn't really expanded on that. REQUEST ARE OPEN for any poj character. feel free to give feedback. :)

[sasukecouchiewa]

I also watched around 7 episodes of tng and idk....like its interesting and all but im not so sure about the characters...like yes data is funny geordi too picard is commanding and smart riker is competent troi is beautiful bla blablablabla

I find these characters rather interesting but i dont feel any immediate connection to them as ive felt with tos or ds9  where i could feel just from looking at a character for a bit that it was gonna be interesting and promising.

obviously i dont doubt that it has many interesting and fun aspects and will develop into something better and better as seasons go by but it doesnt feel like something i really want to binge nor have to patience to watch. Now i Am watching it but because im interested in the universe per se, in the new worlds, and new interactions with other entities and spacey stuff. 

The thing that annoys me the most are the, well, annoying characters, such as the romantic interest that was made obvious from the first episode (or was it the second) because oooh the captain is losing controlllll hes giving in into his romantic and sexual impulseeeesss noo so funny!!! we now know theyre gonna be annoying af impling stuff and longing for each other for the next??? how many seasons. and her prodigy son! why must there be such a character literally no one gives a fuck and from what ive seen no one in the fandom likes him much either so literally what was the point lmao

another thing i didn't like by far is the constant slapping in our faces that the “humans” are the superior species in confront, for example, of the ferengi because now women have rights! and they have clothes! crazy shit man like i get it because in that period women did actually start getting rights so whatever it was historically important but damn like 5 episodes out of the first 7 were only about that .

also why are the jokes constructed so weirdly like theyd make one single unfunny ass joke and thered be a pause where everyone laughs except that one character and someone will be like OH! IT WAS A JOKE LMAOO hahhahahah like no….please stop its cringing me out please just make funny jokes. Like riker would look around…waiting for everyone to laugh… to giggle… or someone would make joke and linger for a moment like hey think about the fact that i made a joke. also what is that acting and what is that thing where everyone seems to have a frog in their mouth when theyre talking OMG ITS SO ANNOYING i just cant with this series im sorry i dont get it.

[littlemissmanga]

hi love! i'm so so sorry you had a rough week, i totally feel you. but im here to give you some silly puns!

firstly, i have a theory that kramer from seinfeld and post malone are the same person from different timelines

as murderbot (didn't) once said, 'brobots before hobots'

a stupid thing my dad sent me that made me giggle:

-arriving in hell-

me: omg its you! i'm a huge fan of your eggs

the devil:

and finally, if strangers things was made in britain it would be called 'bit odd innit?'

sorry for the stupid jokes, hope they make you giggle a little, im so unfunny, love u <3

OMG Nour, your jokes made me wheeze, particularly the deviled egg one. And I'm going to make "brobots before hobots" a thing in my house now lol

"A bit odd, innit?" That is my humor to a T.

Thank you, dear, this was so kind. And I know your week wasn't easy either, so I hope you have plenty of reasons to laugh now, too.

In case not, here's one from me:

What do you call friends you like to eat with?

Taste Buds :D

[boxofuncookedmacaroni]

rating things people have sent to me on pinterest by accident

1.

when i first saw this i kinda giggled ag it so 8/10

2.

these were all sent by the same person btw

these were all very random and since that the person has privated their account . 9.5/10

3.

literally have no ides whats going on in this post so 4/10

4.

personally not in this fandom but i know about it because of a certain moot,,,, anyways tje art is very pretty so 9.5/10

5.

i literally find math memes so unfunny but they apologized so 6/10

6.

thats not sigma… 7/10 they also sent it twice which was funny

7.

its useful but i d9nt think ill ever use it so 6/10

8.

both sent by the same person

personally . probably my favorite accidental sends ojt of all of these so 10/10 (heck maybe 11/10)

9.

i love nickel so 10/10

10.

all sent by the same person

these were all whispers . this mightve been not accidental or idk . maybe im thinking too hard jnto it but 6/10

11.

uhhh genuinely dont know what to say but its funny ig . 7/10

12.

pi !!! 3.14/10 (no its actually 4/10 sorry)

so sorry if you see yourself on here . LMAO

[hamsamwich23]

I posted 1,068 times in 2022

That's 984 more posts than 2021!

154 posts created (14%)

914 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@constant-state-of-affection

@dreamland-creations

@phantom-of-the-ruckus

@sarilolla

@constant-state-of-self-discovery

I tagged 873 of my posts in 2022

Only 18% of my posts had no tags

#reblog - 324 posts

#hello puppets - 270 posts

#shut up sam - 189 posts

#important - 137 posts

#unreality au - 98 posts

#friends art - 79 posts

#others art - 65 posts

#hello puppets midnightshow - 63 posts

#yes - 60 posts

#dhmis - 49 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#god damn im learning so much more about myself through this app and friends than any adult in reality has ever tried to teach me

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

A reminder again that my ask box is open and I'm a sucker for getting asks about my au 👉👈

You can literally ask any questions or for any headcanons!! Fluff, angst, wholesomeness, alternate endings or concepts, random questions, mild gore, questions about platonic, romantic, or family bonding/affection, I welcome anythin as long as it isn't nsfw, fetish or proshit content!

Literally feel free to go wild, ask whatever you like just stay within my boundaries!!!

Art is by @silent-bull :]

29 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

#4

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️MIDNIGHT SHOW TAPE SPOIILERS⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

,..........

........

.....

Canon Mortimer and Unreality Mortimer are completely opposite of each other (mostly) One is a raging asshole who is keeping his "children" in "hell" with him.

The other is one who's been put through hell and doesn't stand for such behavior, and he's definitely more quiet than canon to the point where it's a shock when he's NOT silent

There's one thing they both seemingly have in common though

And according to Riley In one of the tapes, that would be:

They both want their father (Owen) to love them even after everything that happened

33 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

#3

Giggles

I COULDN'T HOLD BACK IM SORRY SHDJDJDJDJD

Canon mort is an asshole I am beating him up fr fr

Unreality Mortimer belongs to me, other aus belong to @yourlocalnicknackkinnie and @omggypsyesmeraldathings-blog

68 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

#2

WEIRDCORE/UNREALITY MORT WEIRDCORE/UNREALITY MORT!!! IT IS HE!!!

AAAAAAAAA IT HE

Hehehehehehehehhehehehheee

Amazing art by @toadzzz

68 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Mortimer Handee slander feat. My au Mort:

Hehehehe I'm so unfunny

Art credits go to @silent-bull for the drawing on the right :]

87 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Shsjssjsjsjssjsjsjsjss

[wienerbarnes]

Much Ado About Nothing (5/6)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,747

Warnings: none! wedding stuff? 

A/N: happy new year yall hope everyone had a safe one! das all imma say tho im keeping my mouth shut about 2021 i aint risking shit anyway enjoy this chapter :P

MAIN MASTERLIST | MUCH ADO MASTERLIST

For being given a week, the ballroom looks immaculate. Satin drapes and tablecloths of cream and white cover the room, gold and olive green accents strewn throughout. The handful of tables in the room have large centerpieces of small white flowers, thin branches, and delicate leaves, as well as a lace trim around the vase they rest in. A warm toned light makes the room look bigger than it is and the dancefloor welcoming for everyone.

The wedding guests include the team, of course, some of Sharon’s family that were able to make it in such short notice, and anyone’s dates were welcomed. Sam brought a date himself, Sharon extended the invitation to some agents she’d been training over the last few months, and she told you invite those who worked in the lab with you.

She insisted, in fact.

Sharon banished you and Nat to the ballroom, while she finished getting ready, wanting to have a few minutes by herself before the wedding started. You assume Steve felt similarly when you see Sam and Bucky enter the ballroom and merge together with the rest of the team. You linger by the bar, hoping to get a bit of liquid courage before the party starts, but to your dismay, the bar doesn’t open until after the ceremony.

You also don’t want to take a seat because you’ll be one of Sharon’s bridesmaids, along with Nat. You and her wear matching warm brown dresses with a slit on the side, tying in with the neutral and woodsy tones going on throughout the rest of the wedding. Sam and Bucky wear brown bow ties and you assume they’re taking the role of Steve’s groomsmen. You pray you don’t have to walk with Bucky.

As more and more people take their seats, you find Nat and meet the other boys at the back of the room.

“Sam already claimed me.” She tells you cheekily as she loops her arm through Sam’s bent elbow.

Of course he did. You sigh and begrudgingly loop your own arm through Bucky’s as he smirks. While the group of you wait for the music to start to indicate your time to begin walking, you take in the man standing next to you.

He smells crisp and clean, his cologne smelling fresh and flooding your senses with lavender, rosemary, and cedarwood. His bicep is ginormous in your hand and you can feel the warmth radiating off of him through his suit jacket that he wears. He cleans up really nicely. Not that you’ll tell him, but you’ll definitely be thinking about it for the rest of the night.

Bucky’s mind goes through a similar thought process. Your skin is shiny and smooth, and he imagines you applied lotion while getting ready with the other girls. Maybe there hints of glitter in whatever cream you use, because to him, it looks like you’re glowing. You smell like the sweetest of roses and juiciest of fruits, and you look good enough for him to take a bite. He won’t give you the satisfaction of a compliment - God knows the argument that would lead to - but he imprints this vision of you in his mind to remember.

Finally, Steve enters the ballroom and makes his way towards the front of the room and any few people left standing take their seats. As people settle, Steve adjusts his jacket and glances over the room to take in all of his loved ones in one room. He glances over to where John sits alongside Leila and Kennedy, the two other lab interns that work under you, he’s come to learn about. He briefly wonders what John is thinking about, if he thinks his plan worked, if he thinks Steve is going to cause a huge scene in front of everyone, accusing Sharon of cheating in some big explosion. He wonders what John’s reaction will be when he witnesses him marry the most beautiful woman in the world, kissing her to solidify their love.

He can’t wait.

Soon enough the music starts and Nat and Sam begin down the aisle, you and Bucky following after. For someone that has hated the idea of love for so long, walking down the aisle like this feels really great. You’re not sure if it's the anticipation for the bride, or the decorations, or the huge hunk of handsome soldier guiding you down to the front of the room, but it makes you feel tingly all over. Almost makes you want a wedding of your own. Almost.

As Bucky makes his way down the aisle with you on his arm, he meets Steve’s eye, who gives him a smirk that looks a lot like I told you so. He ignores it, though. He knows he’ll get picked on later, but for now, he enjoys having you so close to him. You’re close to him outside of the lab, outside of a mission, outside of an argument. You’re close to him, holding onto his arm like you’re his girl in a sweet silence. He can almost get used to this. Almost.

Once everyone’s in their place, the rest of the guests rise as the music changes and Sharon enters the ballroom. Her dress is beautiful; a lacy brassiere top to connect the flowing train, all of the silk following her walk, making her elegant and glowing. Her hair is lightly curled and there are a few white flowers pinned around the back of her head, matching the rest of the room.

The officiant reads everything they have to and Steve and Sharon share their vows, causing everyone in the room to shed a tear or two. Nat and Sam find it particularly amusing to see you and Bucky wipe a few tears as well, seeming to get foggy eyed in spite of their hatred for love. They’re too busy silently teasing their friends to notice the fume coming from John’s ears, realizing his plan didn’t work the way he wanted it to.

There’s still time, he thinks. Maybe Steve didn’t want to make a big, public fuss. Yeah, once everything is over, he’ll take her upstairs and they’ll talk and soon enough they’ll announce that they’re marriage is over! Shorter than the Kardashians.

Finally, Steve and Sharon kiss to seal their marriage, sharing their official first kiss as husband and wife. Cheers and clapping erupt in the room as the couple makes their way back down the aisle, Nat, Sam, you, and Bucky following after. The lights dim a bit and the bar opens as the music changes to encourage people to mingle and dance until the couple emerges once more.

“What’s the matter, don’t like weddings?” You tease John, coming up behind him, your voice making him jump from leaning against the bar the way he was.

“Uh - No, not really.” He says, turning to face you, feeling awkward as he talks to his boss after trying to sabotage her best friend’s wedding.

“They grow on you.” Bucky’s deep voice makes him jump once more as it comes behind him, forcing him to turn away from you and face him, staring at his towering stance.

“Uhm -” John stumbles as he realizes he’s cornered against the bar by you and Bucky.

“Did you really think you’d get away with it? I mean, you’re surrounded by spies and an artificial intelligence system that records everything in the tower.” Bucky tells him.

John’s eyes widen as they glance between you and Bucky, realizing where he went wrong in his plan. I should’ve figured out a way to hack F.R.I.D.A.Y.! Or at least get rid of any footage of what I did!

“Not to mention the fact that Steve and Sharon are too disgustingly in love with each other to even fall for the kind of charade you put on. In my lab, nonetheless,” You add, “Some kind of unfunny joke by an ex-lab intern.”

“Ex?” John confirms.

“Oh, yea. Leila and Kennedy, too. I don’t want to waste my time training and giving experience and advice to the kind of people that lie, play around, and cause mischief in a lab and in a tower where some of the most important and delicate information in the world is handled. If I wanted that, I’d have Barnes, here, as an intern.” You tell him.

“Hey, I thought we were on the same team here -” Bucky tries to interject, but you smack his arm to get him back into the focus of their conversation with John.

“Anyway,” Bucky continues, “Why don’t you do us the favor of getting out of here? We’ll tell Steve and Sharon that you’re sorry you weren’t feelin’ well and had to head out early. Unless, you’d like for me to get them and bring ‘em over here?” He slings an arm over John’s shoulder, leading him over to one of the exit doors, as John nods his head in agreement, accepting his defeat.

Once John has left and the wedding is officially safe again, Bucky meets you back at where you wait at the bar.

“Nice job, McGeek.” He tells you, leaning on the bar next to you as you turn to face him better.

“Could say the same to you. He looked real scared there at the end.” You giggle.

“He should be, he almost got Steve’s ass kicked by me when Sharon first told us the whole situation.” Bucky tells you, leaning just a bit closer to you.

The bartender comes over to them asking what they’d like to drink. “Whiskey, neat, please. How bout you, Geeky?” Bucky says.

“Vodka cran.” You order.

“Really? That’s your drink of choice?” Bucky teases.

“What? What’s wrong with it?”

“Well, I thought you’d pick a drink that’s actually good, is all.”

“And here I was revelling in the fact that this was the longest conversation we’ve had where we’re not at each other’s throats.” You tell him.

“Well -” Bucky’s cut off by the dimming of the lights and change in music as Sharon and Steve enter the room again to share their first dance.

His words are forgotten as he watches his best friend dance with his bride, the two of them looking happier than Bucky’s ever seen. Bucky feels a smile bloom on his own face as he watches on; he’s so happy for Steve. He knows this is all he’s ever wanted. The girl, the marriage, the house together, the kids in the future. The happy ending. And he’s happy that despite things - or people - trying to get in the way of that, Steve still got the happy ending he deserves.

He peeks over to see you have a similar smile, admiring the love shared between your best friend and his. He gets lost staring at you as the DJ is heard inviting anyone else to join the newlyweds on the dancefloor.

He asks before his brain can filter his mouth, “Do you want to dance?”

Your head snaps over at him, a surprised expression on your face, and Bucky prepares for you to make fun of him.

“Sure.” You tell him.

He doesn’t risk saying anything that might change your mind, only grabbing your hand softly and leading you to the dancefloor where other couples have begun to fill in. The slow music continues as his hands find their place on the curve of your waist and yours rest on the tops of his shoulders. He feels warmth and tingles flow from the placement of your hands through his suit jacket, down his arms, and through his entire body. He looks at you and how close your face is to his, quite enjoying having you so close in his arms like this.

“Do you remember what we were talking about last night?” She finally breaks the silence.

He hums in indication that he does and for her to continue, “So, you really don’t hate me or anything?” You ask.

“No. I don’t. Actually,” He chuckles humorlessly, “I know you like me.” He confesses.

Tension floods your body. How does he know?! “No, I don't! Not anymore than reasonable, I mean.” You deny.

Bucky’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, his body still swaying with yours with the music, “Oh. Well, you have Steve and Sam fooled, then, because they, uh, had me convinced.” He tells you, trying to play off his incorrect assumption.

“Do you like me?” You ask, drawing yourself just a bit closer to him, his arms moving from your waist to the small of your back.

“Uh, no, no more than a friend, I mean.” Bucky lies.

“Oh. Well, you have Sharon and Nat fooled, as well.” You tell him.

The two of you chuckle softly with each other at the whole situation, an attempt to hide the disappointment in each of your chests at the thought of unrequited feelings. Bucky glances back up to meet your eyes once more, eyes flickering down to look at your lips, in time to see you take your bottom lip into your mouth with your teeth. He looks back up at your eyes to catch you staring at his own lips. When your eyes meet his again, it's as though the two of you have a silent understanding. An understanding that you were both lying, and an understanding that you both really want to kiss each other right now.

So he does. Bucky leans in seemingly at the same time you do and presses his lips against yours in a sweet yet fiery kiss. His hands push a little harder into your back to bring you closer and your hands move to touch his neck and cheek, ensuring that his face won’t leave yours anytime soon. Everyone in the room has since disappeared; there are no wedding guests, there are no decorations, there is no music, only you and Bucky.

His lips are soft, softer than you were expecting, and he tastes of peppermint and the sip of whiskey he had, all mixed with a taste that’s so him. His taste and his smell and the feel of his hands on your back and his chest against yours makes you want to melt to the ground in a puddle of mush. You can’t believe you waited so long to kiss him.

Your lips are plump and soft. Your lipstick is fruity but he can taste the sweetness of cranberry behind it and a sweetness that’s all you. You’re the rarest candy he’s ever tried and he’s not sure he’ll ever get enough of it. A part of his mind wants to ignore that they’re still in public, though it certainly doesn’t feel like it, and just kiss you silly for the rest of time.

The two of you finally pull away after what feels like forever and you both can’t help but lick at your own lips, savoring the taste of each other. Before either of you can say anything to follow what just happened, another voice interrupts, “About time.”

You both turn to see Tony and Pepper, her with an admiring smile and Tony with a shit-eating grin. The two of you feel warm as you realize the rest of your friends that occupy the dancefloor are also staring at the both of you. Nat smirks from her place in Bruce’s arms, Sam winks at Bucky over the shoulder of his date, and Sharon and Steve are almost on the verge of happy tears at the sight of their best friends finally getting to be happy with each other. Even Clint and his wife smile at the two of you.

“What are you guys looking at, huh? Never seen a guy and gal dance together?” Bucky barks, Brooklyn accent slipping out as he chooses to pretend none of them saw the kiss that you and him shared.

“Not you two.” Steve says.

“Oh, whatever! What are you guys, five years old?” Bucky asks only to be met with his friends giggling.

“Whatever. Make fun of us all you want. I don’t care.” You speak up, curling your hands around the back of Bucky’s neck.

He looks back at you to meet your kind eyes with a gentle smile. Their friends continue to tease on, but you and Bucky only have eyes for each other. He ignores them and chooses to kiss you again, already craving the taste of your lips on his and the feel of your body in his arms.

[thethrilllofitalll]

Woman Accidentally Eats a Space Cake for the First Time (Fully Loses Her Shit)

New experiences are some of the greatest joys of my life. Seeing and doing new things. New stimulus and surroundings, trying and learning new things, engaging with new people and places.

During lockdown we are almost entirely starved of new experiences. 

Having gotten to 30 without ever trying weed, I have been expressing an interest for years, but not wanting to smoke, thought Space Cakes were the best option. People had warned me these could be quite strong, but a friends boyfriend was given some “Medical Marijuana CBD Cupcakes” for his birthday, and knowing I’d been interested offered me one, with the disclaimer “it’s not going to be a new experience, you’ll probably just feel more relaxed and maybe a tiny bit warm and fuzzy.”

Me being me and always wanting to make everything The Maximum Fun, would have under normal circumstances gathered friends, lowered the lights, composed a playlist, eaten the cake in a ceremonial fashion and fully embraced the moment. But, as I was assured not to get over excited, instead my friend (L) and I ate them together as a snack absent mindedly whilst having a chat in her bed around 10pm. I then went off next door to watch some telly alone whilst texting my boyfriend (S). 

What unfolded was quite the unexpected turn of events...

18th May 2020

23:05

To S

M: Just eaten it mate

S : that's a tiny bite!

M: I’ve ate the whole thing

M: Really hard thick choc

M: Hard work

M: I feel caffeinated

M: Typical

M: The only person in life to not chill out on weed

23:20

M: Watching the explained about monogramy lol x

23:40

M: Oscar wee’d in the kitchen

S : bad boy!

S : how is the cbd?

M: Feel quite chill now to be fair

M: But maybes it’s the absolute moment of calm tea I’m drinking

S : haha

M: Wow I’m watching the genum explained

M: Apparently now stick your earwax is is genetic!

00:00

M: Omg

M: Wow

M: Just got the drop!

M: Did not expect that to be a thing!

To L

M: Wow just had The drop

M: Lol!!

L: Lol

L: Me too

L: 😂

M: #legaliseit

L: I’m lying in the dark

L: Feel like I might float out into the street

M: Hahaha

L: ✌️

M: It literally came over me like a cloak in the kitchen!!

M: Super intense!! Like sinking into a hole

L: Lol

M: #isthiswhatheroinislike

L: Yes felt it in the dark

L: Lovin it

M: 🤑

Li: 🌱

M: Me watching telly right now no lie

M: #chillin

L: Me

To S

M: Omg I’m high!!!! Hahahaha giggly

00:05

To L

M: What a new experimenter

M: Giggly! And 😎 getting in bed with my sunbathing soundtrack on for the full experience

L: Me too

L: My face hurts from smiling

M: Hahahah OMG I feel like an absolutely beautiful cliche or a person trying drugs for the first time

M: I am thinking all the classic drug thoughts

M: About time

00:10

M: And expanding contracting

L: Me too

M: And getting disorientated JB the room

L: Yes

M: And can’t get undressed ao have fallen into bed with my T-shirt and bra still on hahaha

L: Haha

M: Was just pacing back and forward for ages forgetting what I was doing before that

To S

M: Omg I’m so high ha

To L

M: Just came to and caught myself hunched over beside the bed, crouching like Gollum

M: Now in bed laughing af myself

00:15

To S

M: Think I might have cut my fingers trying desperately to get into the wrong end of my headphones emboldened

M: Box

(Didn’t actually send this pic)

M: That’s me with my eyes open

S : haha what? x

S : you okay

To L

M: Wow warm rushes down and tingly sensations Up!

M: This song about giggling just came on

M: Reccomend d

M: Here’s a song for you… Laugh with Me by Paul White

https://open.spotify.com/track/4ebGfveNsaTPvbmYrcYbM9?si=Zew2rxbfQ7aQZ_b9fIwA_g

00:20

To S

M: A tightness is chest and breath and strange iron taste

M: I am 1 of the highest I have been in my life wow

M: Hehehehe how unexpected

M: Wish I could take photos of all the funny positions and faces I keep coming to and finding myself in

M: I imagine this one to be the recently deceased wake of a grumpy old cheese mans body

M: Chinese

M: Like a soldier made of stone

S : are you on your own?

M: Wow event the documentation of the peveois/current high went crazy Cus a new one kicked in and distracted the current

To L

L: Wowwwww cant type

L: How lovely it is

L: Trippyyy

M: Here’s a playlist for you… Sunbathing soundtrack

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1kGgW3qvdBHAQwQSNpwV0j?si=1r90zkW_QcGfbMUO2eHUsA

Note on phone

I might piss on the floor like Oscar

To S

M: Me and L are both in same boat but on our own beds textier

M: Hahahaha

To J

M: OMG J I’m really tired I can’t stop laughing

M: High!!!

00:25

To S

M: Me loving life

M: 🤞🤤🤞🤟✌️✌️✌️✌️

S : hahaha babe! xx

S : glad you're having a nice time

M: I just imagined I had come out with a brilliant music video idea but I came to and realised it was just imagining ever cartoon representation of being high ever spliced together. And then I came to and realised i was typing this.

M: Can’t believe your not here wtf should have bought week 1

M: Unjust caught myself thinking with no irony wow I suddenly understand what the Beatles were singing about

M: When I was imagining trying to text every new feeling and image

M: Hahaha and while writing that was earnestly tupong this new thought

M: And “well I do feel very creative”

00:30

To L

M: And add “i do feel very creative” to my earnest cliched thoughts

M: (I do!)

To S

M: OMG these powerful warm surges feel like you’d have in a dream where you posed yoirakef im going to the loo in case

M: Also the thought before feels ages ago

00:35

To L

L: ❤️❤️

M: High cheeky ostrich is my new lying position

To S

M: Warm fuzzy snow suit

M: Not typos

M: I am already excited to read this tomorrow but hahaha I promise it’s all honestly genuinely spontaneously happening as I try to document it maddest feeling of my life maybe

M: I never had that piss

M: Gonna try

00:40

To J

OMG I Hirnkonstrukt think I  might be doing that thing Danny did when he kept thinking he was piss himself in the pyjamas

M: I did have that piss Tay time tho to make it real

Note on phone

BAby kangaroo nausea 

Y funniest thing of the year

00:45

To L

M: A fantasy involving a religiiius cartoon in which someone declares that cannabis is “the higher place” earnestly hah hahahaha omg

L: Ha aha

M: Imagined Dom and Lauren are so high they are waking me up over my headphones typing to you won’t music to Interupt with banging pans and jangling bells

M: They’re all linked

M: Oh here come the goat bells again

M: and interupt each other

Note on phone

OMG stop being unfunny and controlling 

Wow mood switch

00:55

To S

M: Wow I think I ist did a 10 min one just of trips interrupting one another 100 times to report back sorry it this is annoy g can’t tell if done 100 times or none  each other to report back

S : nothing is annoying xxx

S : going to bed now

S : are you having fun?

S : going to sleep? x

M: Nothing in the bed

M: Yes it’s honestl mad tho this is the highest I have been in my life it feels like I should document it

M: : Either u picked the most perfect high soundtrack ever or the high production values on these tracks are the greatest of all time

S: what u listening to?

S: I'm going to sleep now xxx

S: love you! ❤️❤️

S: can't wait to see you make sense of this in the morning

S: Oooo longest one yet

M: Haha me too it is so funny no be so knowing bht so powerless

Notes on phone

Standing outside myself and reporting back defo most accurate  feeling 

A new companion for myself 

Wow “Powerful”

Both genhinemg and ironically

1:40

To L

M: Wow finally got me bra off and mr phone on charge

M: Bloody powerful

M: You ok? X

Notes on phone

Within one anothe so literally that I just had a dream sequence so accurate it woke me up 

Infact he was riding a pig at my wedding 

Huge surging music

19th May- The Morning After

07:20

To S

S: hahaha

S: I have no idea what you're on about

S: hope you got a good night's sleep

7:40

M: Morning xxxxxzz

S: morning! x

8.35

To L

L: Good morning

L: How are you??

L: I’m up but just in bed!

L: Oh meg

09:20

M: What a time to be alive!

M: How are you?

To S

M: Guten Morgen

S: hello babe xx

S: how are you?

M: Sleepy

M: How are ya?

M: Sorry I was too high to ask any how does it feel to be home questions

M: Look forward to asking them all soon

S: haha that's fine I had fun

S: also I was just chatting to Lukas

S: but it's good

S: cba to unpack and everything

10:30

To L

M: I’m sleepy

L: Absolutely wild

L: Want a cuppa??

L: Just got a Skype now will Come and check on you after at 11! Xx

M: Haha see you at 11 still be asleep

To S

S: what you doing with your day? xx

S: ohh I think I forgot a bunch of shirts in your closet

M: Sleeping currently

11:20

To L

L: How are you doing?

L: Megggg

L: What a life

L: Shout me when you’re awake xx

M: Wow sleepy!!

11:40

To L

L: Meg I’m still trippin

L: It comes in waves

M: Oh god wow really

To S

M: Wow sleepy

S: haha

S: what you doing?! x

S: snoozing all day long

M: Sleeping

M:  Haha no I’m gonna try be awake now

M:  L’s still tripping

To L

M: Did you do a meeting?!

L: Not like last night

L: Yes lol

L:  Do u want tea?

L: Will get kettle on

M:  Hahaha shall I come down

L: Think I need to talk through this mad experience

M: Haha I’ll make it I think I’m out of the woods

M: Well this is the longest I’ve been awake for so I guess we will see! What do you want? X

L: Doing the kettle now

L: I just need to speak to you about it all

11:50 

To S

S: oh dear

S: told you it's strong in food

S: but you feel good? xx

S: sad I wasn't with you

M:  Haha L is still high

S:  yeah you just said

S: hbu?

M: OMG I took loads of photos

M: I defo am

M: But not in the tripping way

15:15

To L

M: Taken me about ten minutes to get me knickers on

What an absolute turn up for the books!! I accidentally got the new experience I was craving. 

[vertrauensieihremarztm]

Deez nuts, I fear.

How normal is it to throw up black goo.

*It’s standing there in his office, black gloop dripping from its mouth as it stares at him.*

(I get scared to rp because I don’t know if they’ll return the favor 😭😭😭)

Not very, uh… but I don’t know. You’re not human, ja?