#//Knowing he would never have given him a proper goodbye in the end nor had the chance to apologize

[dutybcrne]

Thinking abt how it was Kaeya that ultimately allowed Diluc to leave for Snezhnaya, even if he must have been hurting and as unwilling to want to him to go as much as Jean was

[writer-in-theory]

you're gonna go far, love — spencer reid.

“I’ve been ready for you to come home for so long that I didn’t think to ask you where you’d gone.” —Noah Kahan (Orange Juice)

Summary: After Spencer relapses, he takes the first flight out of Virginia with no plan other than to get a fresh start. Or, my take on where he was for Evolution. Pairing: Spencer Reid x Gn!Reader (not the focus, but it's there) Category: Hurt/Comfort WC: 2k Content Warnings: Discussions of relapse, Mentions of alcohol, Slight spoiler for the ending of Evolution S1 (despite the fact I still haven't finished it myself) Notes: This is for the New Beginnings challenge hosted by @imagining-in-the-margins and based on a prompt from @foxy-eva , so thank you so much to you lovely people. This fic comes 2 years after my last CM fic, and a few months since I've written anything at all, so thank you for the inspiration 💜

Spencer booked the first flight out of Virginia five days after it happened. 

The person at the counter may have said the destination, but it floated straight past his ears and was carried far away. Within hours, everything he’d spent the past two decades building was left thirty thousand feet below him. 

Emily would be hurt. Everyone would be, as each of them heard the news as they one-by-one came into the office tomorrow. But it would be Emily, who was the first to notice the cracks in his once carefully crafted facade all those years ago, who would feel the most betrayed by his sudden escape. 

You should’ve at least said goodbye.

It was what Spencer had been most upset by when Emily had faked her death. After everything they’d been through together, after all of the joy they brought into each others’ incredibly stressful lives, all Spencer had needed was the chance to say goodbye and know that she was out there, somewhere, happy. 

Hopefully, she’d understand why he had to leave now, though. 

Everyone in the BAU had figured out by now that the Spencer Reid who walked out of prison was not the same as the one who’d first stepped into it. Some piece of him—and even now, he wasn’t sure how large that piece was—had been laid bare and morphed beyond even his own recognition. The loss of that part of him ached in the way that losing a loved one did, that sharp stabbing sort of ache that would appear so suddenly that he didn’t know how to handle it. 

There was no way to explain it to the rest of the team, though, no matter how supportive they tried to be. The fact was that none of them had ever nor would ever go through what he exactly had, and for not the first time in his life, Spencer began to feel like a rip current was sweeping him away from the steadiness of shore. 

It wasn’t until he was far enough away from shore that he couldn’t see the relief of the sands that his mind recalled that he’d been prescribed painkillers several months prior. 

It wasn’t the same as what Tobias Hankel had given him so many years ago, nor was it the alternatives he’d managed to find in the months after, but it was devastatingly similar enough that he’d tried to convince the emergency room doctor not to order it in the first place. ‘Pick it up anyway, just in case. No one can recover from a gunshot wound without pain relief.’ 

He’d almost flushed the amber bottle’s contents the day he’d gotten them, but the bone-deep feeling that had eased with time but never truly gone away kept him from fully eliminating that option from his life. Why should one thing that had happened to him years ago deny him proper pain relief now, should he need it? So they’d sat untouched, locked away in his gun safe for months. 

Until five days ago.

After well over a decade in recovery, Spencer knew this was always a possibility. He’d seen friends go through the same thing and had been there to support them in whatever ways he could because no matter how many times it happened the initial feelings of shock, shame, and overbearing grief could be just as overwhelming as the first. 

A day after, when he’d woken up and realized just what had occurred, Spencer had walked himself to the nearest NA meeting. Like he was on auto-pilot, he moved through every piece of advice he had gathered through the years—the stories of success and the stories of forced learning serving as guides to him. It wasn’t the first time Spencer had relapsed (a word that still struck fear in him to even think about), nor would it likely be the last time he was forced to confront this part of his past. 

Still, this was the first time Spencer walked out of the building, packed a bag, and made a silent escape from the city he called home. There was something different about this time, though he had no idea where to even begin considering the specifics of why.

He ended up in Cincinnati, Ohio.

In all the years he’d been with the BAU, they’d never once been called there. It was like every other city Spencer had been in in many ways—the buildings towering above him as he walked, the river that bordered the city mirroring the home he’d just left, even down to the FBI headquarters that was quiet now in the middle of the night. Still, he couldn’t help but feel as though it were completely separate from everything he’d known before, because the melancholy Spencer had been sitting in for the last five days had suddenly turned comforting amongst the atmosphere of the city.

He ended up in a bar, of all places. It was the kind that only served nonalcoholic drinks, the kind of place where people like him could sit without feeling outside of the norm. Music was playing softly in the background, and though it was busy there was only a gentle rumble of conversation in the room.

“You’re staring at that glass like it’ll kill you. It’s safe, Scout’s honor.” The teasing voice surprised Spencer out of the careful contemplation he’d fallen into. It came from the bartender, who was busying themselves with wiping down a few glasses, stood just on the other side of the bar in front of him.

“You know, that only works if you were actually a scout,” Spencer returned, though raised the glass to his lips after. It was sweet—a little too sweet by his standards, though it was a comfort now after the week he’d had.

“I won’t tell if you don’t,” the bartender said back. They looked comfortable here, like this sober bar were an extension of their own home. At one time, the BAU office had been the same for him. “You look like you could use a friendly face, and that just happens to be my favorite part of the job.”

“Part of the job…?”

“Oh you know, bartenders are the therapists for the lonely, or something like that.” They were comfortable, and more open to an effective stranger than Spencer ever thought possible. It was refreshing in a way, to be able to talk with them without having to worry about what case information he could get out of them. It wasn’t often, anymore, that he could relax and talk to someone just to talk to them. “What brings you to the Queen City?”

“I moved here,” Spencer answered automatically, looking down sheepishly at his glass before adding, “today, actually.”

“Oh, congrats then. New job?”

“More like a new start.”

It was quiet for only a moment before the bartender asked in a softer voice, “How long had it been?”

Spencer almost asked them what they meant, until he met their gaze. They had their full attention on him now, glasses left abandoned on the inner part of the bar. They’d been kind from the start, but the look they gave him now was the sort of pure understanding that made Spencer realize all at once what they were referring to.

“How did you know?”

The bartender sighed, though there was no sadness to it at all. They pulled something from their pocket, sliding it gently across the bar so Spencer could see. A metallic chip was place between them, silver on the outside and filled in with a green-blue color and a “V” engraved in the middle of it. It was different from the ones he’d used, but he recognized the meaning of it all the same. 

“I opened this place because the day I relapsed, five years ago now, I’d had nowhere to go after. There wasn’t anywhere people like us could go and relax without having to answer the tough questions, like why I drank orange juice instead of ‘what all the other adults were drinking’. It seemed silly at the time, but I think I was just looking for somewhere I could feel normal.”

“My family were the ones who helped me get sober, and sometimes they still forget and will ask me why I’m not drinking.” Spencer returned the sentiment with a light laugh. He loved everyone in the BAU, and even though it had only been a few days he already missed them terribly, but it was nice to have someone there who understood what he was feeling, what he was going through now.

“Exactly!” The bartender said, following Spencer’s lead and letting out a laugh of their own. “Though I can’t say I ever moved to a new city because of it.”

“It was the most impulsive thing I’ve ever done,” Spencer admitted. “I…really needed a fresh start. I needed somewhere noone knew who I was, somewhere I could get a completely different job and…I don’t know, figure out who I am.”

The bartender nodded. “Sounds about right. This family you left behind, are you gonna go back to them?”

“Eventually. We’ve worked together for so many years. I spent more time with them than I’ve actually ever spent alone, and I think I just need…”

“Something new,” the bartender finished, “I’m starting to catch on. What d’you think you’ll do?”

“I’ve always loved teaching. Maybe that?”

“You know, I have some friends who work at UC. Depending on what you wanted to teach, I could see if they could get you an interview.”

“Just like that?” Spencer asked, wondering only briefly if there was going to be a catch somewhere down the line.

The bartender shrugged. “Why not? I never up and moved cities, but I’m no stranger to new beginnings.”

“I wouldn’t recommend moving cities without thinking it through,” Spencer laughed then. “I have no plan for what comes next.”

“Do you have somewhere to stay, at least?”

Spencer only winced, which he was sure was answer enough for them. He was expecting some kind of sympathetic response, but he never expected the bartender to shrug again and say, “Well, how about I be a little impulsive too. I’ve been looking for a new roommate, why don’t you stay tonight and see how it goes?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, sure. You seem decent enough not to be some secret axe-murderer or something.”

Oh, the irony. 

Spencer didn’t really know this person except for the limited conversation they’d had so far. It would’ve been safer, and probably smarter, for him to just find a hotel room for the night and come up with a plan later. But something was telling him that he should agree, that there was something more to this person that he wanted to get to know. 

So not for the first time that day, Spencer trusted his gut and nodded. “Okay, let’s try it.”

It wasn’t a fix for everything. The changes would come slowly, so slowly that sometimes Spencer himself wouldn’t even notice them happening. It would take time to get to a place where Spencer felt okay again, and a large help in that ended up being his new roommate who seemed to just get him in more ways than one. As time went by, Cincinnati truly began to feel like home. 

And two years after he’d left, when Spencer turned on the news and saw the BAU standing before a large crowd as they announced they’d finally caught the serial killer behind the shipping container murders, he finally felt the string tugging him back in the direction of Quantico.

His home was there in Cincinnati, with the person who’d become a friend and even more in the last two years and the professor job that he came to love, but Spencer knew—beyond a shadow of a doubt—that it was time to see his family again, too. 

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

I don't know if you already answered this so feel free to ignore.

What is your thoughts on Yu Ziyuan? am I the only one that thinks fandon defence of her saying she is just the typical Asian tiger mom is insulting to Asian mothers? You can be strict and not be abusive and guess what? YZ is not it.

Hell the author themselves made an entire chapter to say that she took things too far too often against a single person to be simple discipline towards a disciple. It was personal and she took great pleasure in it, just bc WY decides to stay despite his treatment doesn't make it any less horrible.

Am i the only one that thinks she only accepted WC orders to whip WY because she always took any chance to do so? That if Wang Lingjao hadn't mentioned she would have to be subservient to someone of lower class she would have gleefully cut off WYs hand and not reacted at all to the Wen invasion?

That in her last moments she made sure to remind WY one last time that he would be nothing but a servant to her, to tie him with a last wish so he would have the moral obligation to give up everything to JC like a proper servant should? I wholly believe part of her sudden tenderness to JC in her last goodbye was to also rub in WY face not only what he never had but what JC was losing just to rub salt in the wound.

Just, in what universe does people see a girlboss misunderstood by the world and its sexism? sometimes i think i read the wrong books or saw a different show... am i really the only one that sees this?

Good evening anon, I've been sitting on this a bit as I was weighing how exactly to answer this coherently. So, for the short answer; I do not like her as a character nor is she supposed to be seen as anything deeper than what she is. A terrible mother and person who let resentment rule her.

The Long Answer: She is not misunderstood, she is very easy to break down. She was a jealous youth who actively agreed to a marriage where the fiancé was already lukewarm to her disposition and continued to cast blame on Cangse Sanren stealing something she never had. Note as well, as she was the one to force a marriage and insisted on this even after Cangse Sanren had married Wei Changze. She is selfish and entitled. This carries over to how she treats her children, she is not happy with her own self, so she hyper focused on the flaws she instilled within Jiang Cheng. Instead of actually supporting him as a mother should, she insults him and instead of love she actively despises and insults her own child. This is not a healthy parental figure. She was hardly there enough obviously to even think of offering care and love in a very negligent household. She laughs instead when Wei Wuxian is brought in she is more concerned about being proven right about adding another child into the household will disrupt their already volatile dislike of each other.

Not once does she praise her children she fixates on despising Wei Wuxian and being annoyed he is able to be talented naturally so much she constantly pits her son against him herself and encourages that resentment to grow in him. She does not care about anything other than her own festering hate, and sure as hell never nurtured her own with love. She is miserable, pathetic and no whatever love she may have held for Jiang Cheng was toxic and all the worse to him as she never uplifted him as an actual loving parent should.

Her treatment of Wei Wuxian is certainly just as vile given he wasn't even her own yet she stayed forever jealous all over her own stories that exasperated her own hate for Cangse Sanren and superimposed that to Wei Wuxian. She has no excuse for her treatment of any of the children under her household. Hate is a sad way to live and end life, and it stops being sympathetic when she lived and died garnering the feelings and reactions she earned with it.

[abeinginsand]

ooh also 💝👻 for Glenn for the headcanon ask game!

Hi again!! ooo Glenn hc time!! :D Sorry I took awhile, this one ended up longer than expected

Hcs Ask Game

--- 💝 A headcanon about their love language I will say that I have two ideas here that might contradict each other but regardless-- Glenn loves being held, around the waist, by the hand, in a hug, the rare piggy back or bridal carry etc. He loves feeling someone's weight, their warm presence against him. His mind chanting subconsciously: Show me you're here. Show me I'm not alone

However, he never knew how much he enjoyed physical affection given how lacking it was growing up until falling for one amazing Morgan Freeman. She always loved hooking their arms together as they walked or weaving a hand through his hair when they rested together. They took turns carrying each other down the aisle even! It was overwhelming at times though and they eventually talked about it. She was good at that--making talking about things and setting boundaries a little more fun and little less like nails on a chalkboard (the sentimental weed helped too of course).

And when she.... well he found himself being affectionate like she had in some ways even after he couldn't hold onto her anymore. Hugs Nick close when they head to bed for the night, even though neither sleep that well anymore. He puts an arm around Darryl's shoulder and leans in to talk to him. Let's Henry braid his hair at the campfire when his friend needs something for his trembling hands to do. Teaches Ron about a proper fist-bump and high-five. Childishly getting into poking/elbowing sessions with Jodie (the usual sibling bickering (tm)) Eventually, gathers the courage to ask for hugs sometimes too. As a goodbye at first, planning to head into Hell, but after, too, when they all still kept meeting up. When Nicky was still small enough, he'd pick him up and spin him around sometimes or they'd fly around together. All while said teen groaned dramatically or laughed... --- On the other hand, something Glenn has always done without influence is use his voice as an instrument of love in itself. He'd never explain it like that though since that sounds pretty cheesy. The musician enjoys giving people nicknames/petnames and absolutely adores making up little songs for loved ones. He had a little song he sang with Bill when he was kid though he only remembers the tune and not the lyrics when he gets older. He made new lyrics and sang it as a lullaby instead. For the songs lyrics themselves...nothing that his band would play nor anything for a radio station--more so a minute or two of short tunes based on mundane stuff. Singing a clean-up song to motivate little Nick to help him and Morgan clean up his toys for example. Back when Morgan was still working at Disneyland, he had this 'finally off work' song he'd serenade her with when he picked her up from work or when she came back home to find him holding a snoozing kiddo on the couch. Though there were plenty of other spicier songs for Morgan too to which she was entertained and plenty flustered about, she called him kitten as usual but also a menace (affectionate) ;] So in summary, wants to be held, will not ask unless you've known him for years, will happily sing and create cheesy songs for people though ---- 👻 A headcanon about what scares them ...Hmm, first thought was not being recognized by people he cares about. Now I don't know much about Christine and sorry if this sounds like slander but... I think she'd be the origin of this particular fear. When things were good between his parents, they spent time together all the time. Huddled up on the couch with 'Glenny' in the middle to watch his mom's favorite shows. Or stroll around town or the park and be told stories about how how much the city changed since Bill was a kid ("see, used to be a big-ol dog statue over here but it got sold for a charity or somethin'. Now there's rose bushes over there. Tell me, what you would have put there, kid?"). To which he excitedly said 'a statue of meatball' (his canonical pet goldfish) and Bill gave him a round of applause and a fist bump while Christine softly patted his hair with a soft smile. But after the divorce/separation, mom moved out fast, and his parents swapped him from home to home every few weeks. Well there's the line during the court case that's something like "mom taught me rules and dad told me how to break them." Eventually, Christine didn't recognize her son anymore--he seemed so much more Bill every year and it...well she wished it didn't annoy her but oh boy it did. She found herself distancing herself from both Bill and Glenn especially after seeing her side of the parenting undone every month. At some point, Bill gets Glenn into some trouble as a teen and he tries for once to ask his mom for help. And she lets the resentment get the best of her in the moment, the feelings having built up. Says something like "I told you to stop listening to him. You're not my son, you're his. I couldn't fix him and I can't help you." They don't meet up in person after that, only the occasional text or once a month call.

He can't win back his mom, but darn does he try to be whatever people want him to be after that. To keep them around because he's always afraid he'll become a 'stranger' to avoid again.

Unfortunately, this also leads to letting his son be his friend and desperately hoping to impress him at all times.

[soupandsimple]

Proper Goodbye (with Sirius Black)

[ not getting to properly say goodbye to Sirius when leaving for home so…you go back for it ]

* SMUT! 18+ (and fluff!)

** i just felt my two part little story I have deserved an ending (with smut!) pretty vanilla-y …also I know I never add physical characteristics but I got the urge to have the reader not be hairless down under sooo yeahhhh enjoy 🖤

Part 1: Worthy Part 2: Stayed Behind Part 3: Proper Goodbye

………………….

Your relationship with Sirius prospered beautifully after having stayed behind that one morning, well…as much as a sneaky relationship could prosper anyway.

It’s not that you were ashamed of the relationship but there was no telling how Molly would react to it so to keep the holidays merry for everyone, you and Sirius agreed it was best to keep it hidden.

Somewhat hidden to be more exact; luckily for you, the subtle flirty glares and playful comments shared between the both of you passed right over everyone’s heads. As did the footsies under the dinner table and the fact that you both always sat next to each other at every gathering in the sitting room.

Among those things, you also wrote letters where you could ‘talk’ more intimately to one another because otherwise, the only form of communication you’d ever have with each other would be the small-talk you showcased in front of everyone.

The idea to write letters actually came to you that day you had stayed behind with him. After only vaguely telling you bits about his life, you were left intrigued to know more- so, once the Weasleys, Harry and Hermione returned from town that afternoon, still feigning sickness, you wrote the first letter (of many to come) in private and conveniently slid it under Sirius’s bedroom door when Molly called everyone down for dinner.

To your amazement you received a letter back that very night before bed, where Sirius ingeniously left a little ‘meet me in the kitchen at 2 a.m tonight’ at the very bottom (something he continued to do with every letter thereafter). Despite the alone time the late night meet ups allowed, you couldn’t be too touchy with each other since at any given moment anyone could come down and find the pair of you; quick giggly kisses and late night ice cream however, were always a guarantee.

Of course the letters could only do so much but they had undeniably helped you connect with each other on a higher level- both platonically and romantically.

Naturally, the end of holiday break arrived and you had no idea when you’d get to see Sirius again or if he’d even want to see you again since interestingly enough your inevitable departure from Grimmauld Place never came up in the letters nor the meet up’s. But who were you kidding? This wasn’t a fling, a game or some short lived romance; you could feel it in your heart and soul it was something more.

So, although you’d be leaving Grimmauld Place with the others to catch your respective trains- you, being the clever girl you were, already had the perfect plan set where you’d be able to play into that and get a proper farewell from your secret lover.

——————————————————————————

That final day at 6 p.m, you and the rest of the guests gathered at the front door of the house to leave for the station. There, Molly and Arthur humbly thanked Sirius for being such a good host, then had the children bid their goodbyes before letting them exit the house.

The twins and Ron gave Sirius fist bumps, Ginny and Hermionie gave him innocent side hugs and Harry of course went in for a loving hug where mid-hug, Sirius slightly pulled away to offer him a few words of wisdom and then gave him a final embrace.

Following the rest of the teenagers, Harry exited the house leaving just you now with Molly and Arthur hovering and waiting at the door.

Sirius scanned your face with a warm expression which you couldn’t help but shyly smile at. Remembering the Weasleys were watching, you softly extended a hand and spoke, “You truly were a great host, thank you Sirius. I had a good time here.”

He chuckled quietly and played along, because what more could he do in front of the Weasleys’ surveillance. “And it was so wonderful to meet you Y/N, you’re welcome back anytime.” The handshake did last suspiciously longer than any ordinary one but Molly and Arthur were so gracious with Sirius’s kindness towards all of you, that they didn’t take it as strange in the slightest.

Eyes lingering on you until the very end, the door shut and Sirius was left alone once again. But not for long….

——————————————————————————

About an hour later, you walked up the stairs to Grimmauld Place and knocked the unique knock you had been taught to use.

Inside, Sirius furrowed his eyebrows and set down the quill he was currently using to write you a letter. Recognizing the pattern of the knock, he concluded it could only be someone from the Order but still wearily went to check it out as he wasn’t expecting any of them- not tonight anyway.

Now at the door, he looked through the peephole and saw it was you; quickly, he unlocked and pulled open the door.

“Hi,” you sheepishly greeted.

“Darling?” Sirius said, immediately granting you space to enter, “Come in, come in, it’s freezing! Love, what are you doing here?”

“I’m here because I don’t think we got a proper goodbye” you confessed casually.

“No, I don’t think we did” he agreed as he shut and locked the door again behind you.

With a smile, you released an exhausted sigh as you set your travel bags down on the floor and took off your coat, scarf, hat and mittens.

“How did you..it’s been an hour since you left has it not? Did you make the train turn back around?” he jokingly teased, watching you let all your winter gear fall messily over your bags.

“No silly” you flirted, his hand now ghosting the small of your back to guide you into the sitting room where he had the fireplace lit. “I never boarded the train…I had planned on coming back here as soon as I could but I had to wait around to make sure none of the Weasleys returned either, for one reason or another” you finished with a small shrug.

Sirius adoringly smiled at you. He loved hearing the way your mind worked. “But what if they had come back just as you arrived? Or if one of them arrives now perhaps?” he challenged.

“Easy, I’d just tell them I forgot something; a hairbrush, a jumper, a journal- whatever really.”

Before Sirius could add anything else, you continued on, “And as for my train, I just changed my ticket for the last possible one I can take to make it back home on time for work.”

“Have it all planned out, do you?”

“Mmhm” you proudly hummed.

“Very well,” Sirius said with a wink.

You smiled, bit your lip and gazed into his eyes; the set of eyes that had yet to fail in making you weak in the knees.

Sirius too looked at you with a soft, comforting smile and l sensed you had something to say so he let the silence live until you were ready.

The crackling fire was all that was heard for about half a minute until the eye contact overcame you. You let out a breathy laugh and looked away momentarily then returned your eyes to him. “Can I kiss you?”

“You can kiss me all you want darling” he replied, honestly a bit amazed that that’s what you, little miss confident, were struggling to ask for.

You closed the space between you by slowly wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands instinctively found a home at your waist and then, with a gentle nuzzle of your nose against his cheek, you went in for a deep, passionate kiss; the kiss you had been craving since you had left earlier.

“Well I’d definitely say this is a much better goodbye than the handshake I got earlier” Sirius teasingly murmured against your lips.

You laughed, then softly let your nails scrape against the bottom of his scalp, “Oh- this isn’t the goodbye I had in mind” you cheekily replied.

“It’s not?” he asked, slightly surprised.

You shook your head, “Nope.”

He squinted his eyes and smiled at your mysteriousness as you innocently slid your hands from around his neck down his chest.

“I’ll be right back” you said merrily, as you picked up one of the bags you had left at the entrance and made your way into the nearby bathroom.

There, you stripped and took out the satiny pajama set you wore your first night at Grimmauld Place from your bag- Sirius was unknowingly in for a treat.

Now changed into the rather revealing attire, your feet padded against the floor as you exited the bathroom; naturally, a bit of nerves were present but not enough to make you turn back.

The comforting sound of the crackling fire grew clearer as you approached the sitting room and at last, when you came into Sirius’s view, his eyes darkened as he immediately scanned your figure from head to toe.

Nervously smiling, you went over to where he sat in a couch chair and stood just inches before him. “Soooo…not to sound conceited but I know you enjoyed the view from my first night here, when we had the run-in in the kitchen…am I wrong?” you asked, fiddling with the little bit of decorative lace at the hem of your shorts.

“No,” Sirius replied without missing a beat.

“Good, because I felt you deserved to see it again now that we recognize each other as something more than we did that night” you said, bravely straddling into his lap and letting your hands slither around his neck to meet behind.

His arms instantly welcomed you, wrapping around your middle with a smirk plastered beautifully on his face at getting to feel the soft satin and the weight of your body atop of his.

“Tell me, what’d you like best about seeing me in this that night” you teasingly asked.

“Well, not to be crass darling but if you must know, I liked the way your nipples poked out with the draft and how your bum and hips moved in these little shorts when you walked away.”

“And did you ever think about what you saw while alone?”

Sirius chuckled, “If I said almost every night, would that make you uncomfortable?”

You pursed your lips and shook your head; you loved that you could both leave each other speechless now.

“Good” he stated, leaning in to kiss you again- softly, as if your lips were glass, he then slowly pulled away and looked into your eyes, “I want you sweet girl. I’ve wanted you since that first night…”

“Well you have me” you quietly assured him, releasing your hands from around him and bringing them down to slowly start unbuttoning his shirt.

As you did this, a thin strap of your cami fell off your shoulder to which Sirius leaned over to place a gentle kiss on, followed by him pulling the strap back up to its place; a delicate gesture that had your insides combusting.

Undoing the last button of his shirt, you pulled the tucked ends of it out from his pants and let your fingers run across his stomach and chest. You were mesmerized by all his markings and he in turn by your loving touch.

You leaned down and placed sweet kisses from bottom to top on Sirius’s exposed torso and once you reached his neck, gave him a glazed eyed look and quietly asked, “Can we go up to your room?”

“Whatever you want sweet girl” he said, smoothing a hand down your hair.

Smiling, you both stood up with Sirius taking your hand to have you trail right behind him up the stairs; the sight of his unbuttoned shirt flowing with his steps making you swoon.

Finally reaching the door to his room, he fisted your hand, kissed your knuckle then opened the door and gestured for you to walk in first. After doing so, he quietly closed the door behind him, softly pulled you into his arms and pressed his lips against yours for a tender kiss.

“Wish you’d have told me about your plans before darling, could have made it a little more romantic in here for us…for you” he said quietly.

You casually licked your lips and smiled at his worry, “We’ll have plenty of time for romantic setups in the future- that’s not what tonight is about.” Releasing yourself from his hold, you grabbed the bottom of your silky cami and in a slow, seductive pace pulled it over your head.

Sirius stood in awe at your half exposed self. Oh what a divine sight you were to him. “You’re so beautiful love” he eventually commented, ogling your breasts a bit more before enclosing you in his arms again and kissing you. Smiling against his lips at the compliment, you pushed at his shirt to slide it off of him, Sirius blindly aiding you by slipping out one arm after the other without ever separating his lips from yours.

Then, instead of returning his arms to your waist, he placed them lower to grab and knead at your bum through your shorts. Tongues now gliding against one another’s, you moaned a little into Sirius’s mouth and gasped when he gave your rear a quick but gentle slap.

Sirius then put his arms back at your waist and you pulled away from the kissing with a thin string of saliva connecting you both momentarily; you let him admire your swollen lips before taking his hands and pulling him back towards the bed.

“I need you” you alluringly said, as you situated yourself at the center of the surprisingly soft mattress. Sirius groaned at your plea and watched as you laid back and spread your legs a bit to grant him space to lay atop of you. He gently did so and your mouth opened slightly as he went in to suck tenderly at your neck for a bit before moving his attention down to your breasts.

Leaving small kisses around each breast, he then looked up to you with a wicked smile and licked one of your pebbled nipples and blew a little air on it. You whimpered as he latched on to it to suck while squeezing and tugging at the other.

“Oh wow,” you said with a breathy giggle, closing your eyes in ecstasy upon feeling the eagerness of his tongue and lips at work, “you’ve been dying to have your mouth on them, huh?” you teased with small pants of pleasure as you cradled his head to keep him close against you.

Both knowing your words were nothing less than true, he nodded and menacingly chuckled at the comment without moving his lips from your nipple.

Lewd noises from Sirius’s mouth filled the room as you continuously hummed in pleasure. After feeling satisfied with his work on both breast, Sirius began planting little kisses down your stomach and just as he was about to pull your shorts down to continue his path, you remembered you had forgotten to disclose a minor detail with him and instantly tugged at his hair to peel him off of you- “Wait, wait Sirius I..”

“Have you changed your mind darling?”

“No no it’s not that it’s just…”

“What is it sweet girl?” he asked, tone laced with concern.

“This is stupid but well…I’m-”

“Scared?”

“No!” you exclaimed, both laughing a bit at his guess.“No I’m fine, it’s just..I’m not shaven.”

Sirius confusingly squinted his eyes at your confession.

“I don’t shave down there, I mean it’s clean and trimmed but uhh…Merlin” you paused, bringing up your hands to embarrassingly cover your face, “I just thought it’d be better to tell you now instead of letting you see it without warning…” you said, sliding your hands back down, revealing your slightly flushed face.

“Oh darling,” he said with a chuckle, “I don’t know what boys made you think such a thing was repulsive but trust me..” he paused, placing a soft kiss at your belly just above your shorts, “I don’t mind it in the slightest.”

With a sense of relief and plenty of comfort, you smiled and felt your blushed face begin to subside. Sirius reached back up to kiss your lips, then stamped quick kisses on his way down your body again to get back to where he had left off prior to your concern.

Upon placing one last peck at your hips, he skillfully slid your shorts and panties down a bit with his teeth; low enough to where he able to nuzzle his nose in the hair on your pubic bone.

“Oh my god, Sirius!” you giggly exclaimed with a hint of embarrassment, feeling as though he was only doing this because of your insecurity with it in the beginning.

“What? I like it, don’t know why you were so worried about it love” he teased with a single eyebrow wiggle and a smirk.

Playfully, you rolled your eyes and propped yourself up on your elbows to look down at him. You lifted your hips and bum off the mattress a bit to help him slide the shorts and panties off completely.

Throwing the garments off to the side, he placed his face back directly at your core and in a single stripe, licked from there up to your clit then your stomach and between both breasts all the way to your neck.

You shakily inhaled at the feel of the cold trail of wetness his warm tongue had left all up your center.

“Now darling,” he began, “believe me when I say I can’t wait to entirely devour you one day, but tonight, the need to be in you outweighs anything else.”

With a puzzled expression, you looked at him- it’s not that you needed oral but admittedly, you were a bit confused as to why he’d skip it if in his own words he said he couldn’t wait to.

Taking note of your silence, Sirius decided to just let out with the truth, “What I’m trying to say is, I won’t last long if we start with anything else” he chuckled with almost a hint of shame.

You understandably nodded, stroked a hand down one side of his hair and very casually replied, “Okay then Sirius Black, make me yours.”

Sirius looked at you with complete fondness for a moment then kissed you deeply; despite unlocking your lips, he kept them hovering over yours and muttered, “I’d uh, I’d slip in a finger or two to prep you but I think you’re wet enough already…” with a proud smirk.

Catching the smirk, you decided to tease him back to see how far you could push him. “Am I? Sure you don’t want to check first?” you said, adding a flirty lip bite to really sell it.

“Cheeky..” Sirius hummed. He took two fingers and set them at your opening but instead of putting them in like you figured you had succeeded in making him do, he simply just glided a trail of your arousal up your whole center, over the same line he had licked up earlier, and stopped once his fingers reached your lips “I’d say wet enough, yes?”

Fuck- and you thought you were good at a game. Trying to redeem yourself though, without losing eye contact, you parted your lips to let his fingers fall through. You sucked on them a bit before he pulled them out with a faint smile; a let’s call it even smile if you will.

Smile still lingering, he removed himself from atop of you to pull down his boxers with the erection you’d been feeling against your thigh for awhile now finally coming into view. “Are you ready sweet girl?” he asked as he stroked it a bit.

“Mmhm” you hummed, eyes fixed on his length.

Sirius took the tip and rubbed it up and down your entrance for a second then carefully slid it in you.

Gasping a little at this, you squeezed your eyes shut and waited for it to begin to feel good. A small whimper of pleasure escaped your lips, which Sirius mistook as discomfort and instantly paused himself from any further movement, “Stay with me darling, I can stop if you need me to…” he cooed.

You shook your head, “No, don’t stop, keep going” you pleaded but made a mental note to lovingly tease him later about how much more practice you both needed so he could learn to properly distinguish your love noises.

With reassurance now, Sirius continued moving and when he was finally completely in you he cradled your head in one arm while the other stroked at your cheek softly. “You’re so warm love, such a snug fit” he breathily whispered as he looked into your eyes.

Snorting lightly through your nose, you felt your face flush a bit at his words. Seeing how cutely flustered he could get you, Sirius proudly smiled and gave you a soft kiss on the cheek.

After looking into each other’s eyes and just enjoying being one with each other for a moment, he wrapped an arm around your torso and in a slow movement, began pulling out and then pushing back in. He whispered praises in your ear of how well you were taking him, then kissed down your jawline with the end goal being to lightly suck at your neck.

Shying away at letting him hear you for some reason, you muffled a moan at the added sensation.

“Doing alright sweet girl?” Sirius asked.

“Mhm” you whimpered.

He strained a chuckle at how dazed you were becoming and gradually began speeding up the pace. You couldn’t help but want to cry out at how good it felt but still held back which Sirius took notice of.

“Oh c’mon darling, let me hear how good it feels” he urged.

Continuing to struggle to let yourself be heard by the beautiful man, you grasped at the ruffled up bed covers below you and bit down on your lip to conceal any sounds other than gasps and whimpers.

“What is it love, why are you holding back those pretty sounds, hm? Can’t believe an older man is making you feel so good?” he joked which instantly made you laugh a bit.

“Shut up…you’re n-oh god…you’re not old” you protested in stammers between pants as he hit a particularly good spot.

“Older than you” he smugly grinned, sneakily sliding a hand down to your clit, “but let’s see you keep holding back those sounds..”

With his fingers now skillfully playing with you, you were nothing but a full on whiny mess; and with his mouth back on your neck, the sound of his cock squelching in and out of you and hitting that spot- you just couldn’t help but finally moan out in ecstasy.

“There we go,” Sirius chuckled proudly into your ear.

“Ohhh…” you moaned, digging your nails into his back and panting as your back arched upwards. Sirius then took his hand off your clit, grabbed one of your thighs and guided it to wrap around his waist then tapped your other thigh to indicate he wanted you to do the same with it.

The dominance in that gesture only amplified your pleasure, causing you to release another obscene moan accompanied by a desperate whine of his name with the heels of your feet digging into his bum cheeks and arms clinging around his neck to bring him as close as possible.

“So beautiful darling, y’know that hm?” he whispered directly into your ear, slipping his hand in between your bonded bodies to play with you again.

“Mmhm..” you agreed with a hum; at this point, you’d agree with anything this man said.

“Yeah?” he chuckled slightly, “tell me you’re close.”

“I’m cl-close” you breathily stammered in between cries and pants.

Nibbling on your ear, he slowed it back down to a sensual pace. You gasped, absolutely relishing the raw emotion of this slower pace and soon enough…it hit- and you gifted Sirius a powerful moan at your climax. “Ohh my god..” you blissfully cried as you rode your wave of pleasure.

Sirius groaned at the tight spasms of your core, “Fuck sweet girl, I’m gonna cum.”

“In me,” you hazily requested.

Moaning deeply at your words, Sirius squeezed his eyes shut and came; all you could do was harshly bite down on your lip at the feel of his warm liquid hitting your walls. And before he completely emptied himself inside you, he pulled out and let the last of the white strands paint your tummy.

“Marked as mine, inside and out, yeah?” he panted as he lovingly looked down at you in your heavenly state.

To answer his questioning, you simply sighed with fluttery eyes and an exhausted smile.

Sirius then interlocked his sticky hand with one of yours and leaned down to give you a love filled kiss. “Let’s get you cleaned up sweet one, you have a train to catch soon,” he smiled, booping your nose and getting up for a warm soaked towel from the bathroom.

When he came back, he gently rubbed the cloth around your sensitive area and your messy belly all while you devotedly stared at him.

“Thank you” you said kindly when he finished.

With a smile, he winked then slid up to where you laid and encased you in his arms. After you both regained your normal breathing, Sirius sensed your pensive state and affectionately stared down at you even though you weren’t looking back. “What are you thinking about?”

You shook your head softly, “Nothing, just don’t wanna go” you sadly admitted.

He sighed as he fixed his gaze ahead to the wall opposite of the bed, “I don’t want you to go either sweet girl” he said as he absentmindedly caressed your arm and shoulder.

“I promise I’ll visit as much as I can” you quietly added while running your fingers through his sporadic chest hair.

“I know you will,” he said, gently kissing your temple closest to his face; both wordlessly agreeing to just let time run blissfully in each other’s arms until your hour to leave for the station came.

Although the train rides from your house to Grimmauld Place and back would be tiring, they were rides you’d now more than gladly be taking as frequently possible. <3

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TagList: @regulusblackswhorecrux

[bokutoslittlebird]

The Perfect Family

Alpha!Bokuto x Beta!reader x Beta!Akaashi

Author’s Note : If you’ve read the little drabbles and asks with the fluffy BokuAka family, then you’re in for a surprise. Those were not canon to the actual works I created, it was just something nice to write and think about. This will not start off fluffy at all. This will also include the pregnancy process, so be warned of that ; This is a sequel to my Kinktober piece, Threesome with Bokuto and Akaashi ; I’m so sorry it took for fucking ever

Warnings: Omegaverse, noncon/dubcon (explicit use of the word r*pe), gun play, choking, water torture (attempted drowning), gaslighting, manipulation, watersports (briefly, kind of), mindbreak, dumbification, pregnancy, creampie(s), asphyxiation, lactation, knotting, breeding (technically), degradation

Kōtarō’s rut had finally ended, pumping you full and fucking you into a stupor, all while Keiji made sure to have him give you a break. It was the week for you and Kōtarō to catch up, after all. You were bonded to Kōtarō and Keiji now, you were their mate, so you had to be taken care of. With the stinging pain on your shoulder from Kōtarō’s mark, you were only missing the legal document to bind you to Keiji the normal, Beta way. Keiji was currently thinking about which ring to get you, since Kōtarō had already decided on his “proposal” gift. Keiji figured you’d need time to adjust, however, as he was laying on the couch with Kōtarō’s arms wrapped around him, you missing. There was a cute show that they were watching, Keiji was sure you’d like it. You weren’t allowed out of the bedroom yet, so he would have to show it to you another time.

Once Kōtarō had been satisfied and Keiji had recovered, both got to work on making your stay permanent. You attempted to leave, but Keiji was quick to cuff you. Kōtarō held you down, forcing you to struggle until there was nothing left to do except lay there. Kōtarō had to go back to Osaka soon, so he was trying to enjoy his last few days in Tokyo.

“That was a fun show. Cute, too,” his yawning interrupted his sentence, cutting it short. Keiji nodded in response, snuggling closer to Kōtarō. The Alpha was warm and comfortable, it gave him a sense of home. “I gotta go back tomorrow, Akaashi,”

“I know, Bokuto-san,” Keiji sighs, knowing he’d have to work on their new pet by themselves. It was going to be a struggle. At the beginning of the week, you were so pliant and easily coerced into things. Now, you wouldn’t look or talk to them. Kōtarō threw a fit yesterday, screaming and crying because you weren’t the same person, you were much more distant. It’s the same when it comes to Keiji, however. You only looked at him with betrayal and sadness, even then only looking at him briefly. You exhausted yourself, but you were fighting them. Distancing yourself and giving them the silent treatment. It made Kōtarō not want to leave, you being so upset at him, but he didn’t have a choice.

Kōtarō needed to find a new place for everyone to live, of course. With the high probability of you becoming pregnant, you couldn’t be living in Tokyo, hours away from your alpha. Knowing you would be carrying his pups without him around had Kōtarō growling, Keiji gently patting his arm. Kōtarō calmed down at that, indulging in the calming scent of Keiji. Keiji has already been bonded to him, so it wouldn’t be as stressful if he wasn’t bonded — you were both his mates and therefore, you could be trusted in Keiji’s care. It was still hard to go. He didn’t want to leave with the state you were in.

“What place were you thinking about?” Keiji mused, running his finger in a pattern on Kōtarō’s arm. Just something to do as he mentally planned for the upcoming weeks. The type of house would determine how long those weeks would be.

“Some place big, but close by the gym and practice gym. Maybe traditional? I’ve always wanted to live in a traditional, zen kind of house,” Kōtarō’s eyes lit up as he talked, images and scenes of a large house full of his lovers and his children, playing volleyball in the yard. Keiji smiles at that, knowing it would be at least a month. Enough time to have you positively pregnant and to get you settled into your new role. It’d take effort, of course it would, but he could do it.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Bokuto-san,”

“Ya know, we really gotta get used to calling each other by our given names. You’re gonna be a Bokuto, aren’t’cha?”

“Well, of course I am. Just like [Y/N]. We’ll be the Bokuto family,” he sighs, closing his eyes as the name settles in his mind. The Bokuto family has a nice ring to it, he thinks.

Kōtarō spends his last night cuddling you to sleep. You want no part of it, lying stiff as a board as he presses kisses to your neck and rubs his hand over your stomach. It’s a sickening thought, the possibility of getting pregnant. If you really had been ovulating during the rut, you most likely were pregnant. It’s not like you’d know or not, you barely leave the bed to urinate. It’s disgusting to have to deal with, but even when you do get the bathe and do your business, Keiji is right next to you, ready to intervene if necessary. Although Kōtarō is often in there with you, lathering up your body as his touches become less innocent, Keiji’s stone-cold gaze forces you to not attempt anything silly.

When the morning comes, Kōtarō is desperate to keep something of yours until he can see you again. In order to keep him happy, you acquiesce to his demands and let him take your used clothes, yet to be washed. As if the lingering scent of the morning sex isn’t still clinging to his skin. You can’t smell it, nor Keiji, but you know it’s there as you watch him dress himself, tucking himself away as he rambles on about his plans for the future. Three kids for him, two for Keiji, a nice big house, just the ideal lifestyle for anyone. It’ll never happen, though. His delusions will soon shatter when you stay distant and refuse to love him or Keiji.

Keiji waves goodbye to you, saying he’ll come back when he’s done with work. He plans on taking Kōtarō to the train station and then going to work, so you’ll be stuck for the next few hours. Until dinner time, that is. After an hour, you hear a ping from your phone and reach over to look at it. You can still use your phone, of course, but any possibility of calling for help is useless. In this society, nobody would help you. Not only that, your phone is bugged and linked to Keiji’s. He knows when you unlock your phone, what you do at what time, and how long you’re on it. You’re almost positive he can shut it off if he wants to.

The noise is a message from Kōtarō, telling you he misses you already. A roll of the eyes as you lock it, setting it beside you again. You’re able to barely reach the table beside the bed, but none of the drawers. One hand is secured to the headboard, wooden and strong enough to withstand Kōtarō’s ruthless rut. You feel restless as the day has only begun, the next time you will be able to move out of the bed, if at all, will be when Keiji comes home.

The doorknob to the apartment jiggles, making you jump. Keiji should’ve gone to work, so the sudden noise was unexpected. When it finally turns, you expect to see the familiar hair of your former friend, the tousled raven hair and the broad build. Although the man has the proper stature, the hoodie covering his head and the cheap-looking mask covering his face prevent you from properly identifying him. You can’t tell if he’s smirking or not, the intense feeling that he’s giving off tells you he is. With your hand secured to the bed, you really don’t have much in the way of options. The phone is still an option, but you doubt you could get to it in time.

The man lunges towards you, spurring you to attempt to grab the phone. Your fingers brush the metal device before your arm is forcefully gripped and twisted. You scream as your body twists, attempting to lessen the pain. It’s useless, but you still try. When your mouth opens, he quickly shoves something round and hard in it, your tongue pressed against the barrel of the gun.

“Don’t move a muscle,” his voice was low and hoarse, as if he was adjusting it to hide his identity. It was still unfamiliar to you, your brain unable to register what was going on. The man easily overpowers you, using his weight to keep you pinned to the bed. Fear prickles your skin, the chill setting in deep into your bones despite the lingering warmth of the fading Summer heat. It’s a horrible feeling, frozen in fear as your mind races, unable to do anything except stay still. It’s horrible, the fact you listen to the stranger’s demands despite wishing you were dead and out of Kōtarō and Keiji’s grasps. The gun is removed from your mouth, but the knowledge of it being in his possession is enough to keep you compliant, barely acknowledging the man’s hands moving to slip under the dress you were kindly given.

To keep yourself ready and easily accessible to both Keiji and Kōtarō until they had to part, it was best to slip you into a plain and simple white sundress. It was a present from Kōtarō, a small way of saying you were his now. With the lack of panties or other undergarment, you were essentially naked to the intruder as he sat on his heels, dark eyes scanning over your form. You were shaking from the fear, the unknown, but you weren’t attempting to move or thrash about. It was so easy to take advantage of you, you already nice and wet for him, too. The slick buildup from the morning session with Kōtarō lingers, as well as the creamy substance of his seed fucked into you. Unless the intruder was an Alpha, he couldn’t do much damage, but the thought of leaving you alone without a touch, a taste, was too unbearable.

It didn’t take long for the feeling of something hard and thick to push against your folds, collecting slick and teasing, your sensitivity making you whimper at the touch. It was a sudden plunge, forcing himself deep into your cunt as he groaned, your walls clenching around him. You thought the groan sounded familiar, but there was no more time to think on it when he put his hand on your throat, effectively shutting off proper access to your lungs. Your walls tighten again around him, him finding it hard to retract his hips but thrusting back in. His pace isn’t too fast, but his thrusts are brutal as he continues to drive his cock into your sensitive and abused pussy. He’s not an Alpha, you can tell by the lack of an inflating knot, but it still remains that you’re being violated by an unknown man. The whimpers coming from your throat are all you can release, barely sucking in air to stay conscious. When your vision starts to fade, the man and the walls of the room slowly blurring together, you start to panic.

The gun is still beside you, but it’s not your concern. The bullet in the chamber can’t threaten you unless the barrel’s against your head, but the hand currently cutting off oxygen is threatening your life. Attempting to dig your nails into the fabric of the hoodie is useless, his work gloves keeping his hands from getting any marks, either. Your lungs burn from lack of air and your vision slowly fades to black, a heat and chill settling over your body at the same time as you continue to feel his body pinning you down. The brutal fucking is the only sensation you still have, the stinging of your skin as he snaps his hips to meet yours and the squelching sounds from your sloppy pussy, cum and slick spurting and coating his cock as he chases his own high. You don’t know if he finished inside, your sensations dying out as you slip into unconsciousness.

When you wake up, your lungs ache and your face feels wet. When you flutter your eyes open, you’re faced with the creamy beige walls of Keiji’s bedroom, the lamp and phone on the bedside table. A presence is beside you, a large hand gently brushing your hair. Your eyes widen as you jolt, Keiji gently shushing you as he holds you. It’s comforting, someone familiar beside you after the experience you just had. You don’t know what happened after everything went black, but the smell of Keiji’s morning coffee and his cologne calm you down, tears spilling out as your fists bunch up the fabric of his shirt.

“I had a bad feeling, so I immediately came back home. I didn’t expect you to be completely unconscious, what did you do?” He asked, oblivious to what had really transpired. It was painful to recall, the fear from before rising again as you remember the man’s stature, looming over you as he pinned you to the bed. Another fit of tears come, the droplets soaking the white of Keiji’s shirt. “Darling, you need to tell me what’s wrong. What-“

“A stranger,” a hiccup interrupted you, red and tired eyes looking to his face. He looks confused, so you need to press on. “He broke in. Violated me. He— he ra-“

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. If I had known something so horrible would happen, I wouldn’t have left you all alone. You could’ve come with me, but you’ve been so naughty, you know,” his voice is gentle, but there’s a certain chill in his voice that has your fear spiking. His hands are warm, caressing your back as he speaks. “But, you know, you cheated on Bokuto-san and I. I have to punish you,”

“I— I didn’t do it on purpose!” Why were you defending yourself? Your mind had to momentarily adjust itself, the feeling of helplessness from earlier now back. Once the cuff had released the headboard, it was nothing for Keiji to force you into the bathroom. No amount of strength you had could compare to him, nor height. He wasn’t afraid to hurt you either, almost smashing your fingers in the door frame because you wouldn’t let go. “Akaashi, stop!!”

“Akaashi? Now, we can’t have that. You should address me properly, dear,” he grips your face, smushing your cheeks together as you find yourself practically flung into the tub. It’s already full of hot water, almost scalding, as he holds your head under. Struggling once more, it’s futile. His strength far surpasses yours, stature looming over you. Under the water, his image is distorted, but the way he looks down at you feels familiar. Before that thought can continue, you feel your lungs burning as you thrash again, thoughts only focused on surviving. When your head is pulled up, you gulp air as you cough, water sputtering as you do. “You need to be punished.”

“Let me go, I didn’t do anythi-“ your head is once more under the water, nails digging into the flesh of Keiji’s arms as he holds you still. You didn’t get a good gulp of air, so you’re quickly back at the previous feeling of helplessness as your lungs burn, vision blurring. Before everything goes black, you’re once more pulled from the water. Your face is hot, either from lack of air or the heat of the bathroom and water, you’re not too sure. But Keiji is sure of one thing and that’s the way you’re clinging to him. You were digging your nails into him, squirming and attempting to leave, but now your nails were digging into his as your grip tightened around his forearm. You were clinging to him, unconsciously seeing him as your savior, as he was the one who controlled your ability to breathe, therefore your life. He could drown you if he wanted to, but Kōtarō wouldn’t like that. No, he just needed you to depend on him, change your stance on how you saw your lovers.

Keiji also couldn’t help how delicious you looked, drenched as steam rose from the water, your white dress floating around you as if you were an ethereal being. You looked angelic and untainted... an urge to corrupt you washed over him, compelling his body into the steaming water. It was a tight fit, but he managed. With his sweatpants on, it was easy for him to simply push down the waistband and pull out his cock. “Now I have to cover up that man’s scent, or do you want everyone to know you’re a whore?”

“Akaashi, enough, this isn’t any diff-“

“Are you saying I’m a rapist? That’s what you’re implying, right? If you really think that, then I’ll be that. I would never purposefully hurt you,” his words contradict his actions, his hard cock pressing into your walls as he speaks. Sensitivity still lingers, your legs twitching as he sinks down to the hilt. “You’re saying I’m the bad guy, aren’t you? Well, how about I be the bad guy? Let’s recreate the scenario,”

“Akaashi, please, stop!” You cry out, weak limbs attempting to push him off. Hot, fat tears stream down your cheeks as Keiji licks them away, kissing their trails as you continue to sob at the feeling. It was a horrible feeling, being helpless, but a part of you knew you were safe. Keiji wouldn’t let you die, the only thing that prevented you from putting more effort in. Even with the splashing water, he kept one hand on the back of your head to prevent you from going under. Keiji’s pace is always the same — slow strokes, but deep and meaningful as he rocks his hips into yours and makes sure to roll his hips. It’s a completely opposite of Kōtarō’s, brutal and relentless, but Kōtarō fils you out more. Keiji has to make sure you feel every ridge, every vein, every pulse from his cock and have it completely engraved into your mind.

When Keiji gets close, he holds you closer to him, kissing your neck as your hands grasp at the tub’s edges, mind reeling from the force of your orgasms. Your nerves are on fire, your walls constantly clamping around Keiji’s cock like a vice, all while he rides out his own high. He presses a sweet kiss to the mark on your neck, where it meets your shoulder, right where he sports a matching mark on his own skin. It’s Kōtarō’s bond, what links him to the two of you forever. With a final thrust, Keiji spills deep inside you as he kisses you deeply, forcing you to swallow his moan of pleasure as he swallows your mewls. You’re still tight around him, walls fluttering pathetically around his girth as he relishes in the way you feel, keeping his seed locked inside you.

When he breaks the kiss, you’re both panting heavily, chests heaving for different reasons. “There. Now he’s gone,” a gentle kiss on your temple. With those words, a silence settles over the room. Although the stranger may be gone, in his place stands Akaashi Keiji.

The next day, Keiji is home.

“Just a precaution, dear,” he had said. “So nothing else bad will happen to you when I’m not here. You wouldn’t want that, would you?” With those words, he convinced you of his intentions. The previous day’s events had you rattled, the fear of being alone subconsciously rooted into your mind. A small whimper of Keiji’s name, his given name, had him smiling and cooing at you, taking you anywhere in the apartment you wanted to go. It was nice to finally leave the bedroom and bathroom sections, seeing the front room and kitchen, able to hear and see people outside the windows. You dare not let your eyes linger too long on the windows, covered completely with only shadows passing by, nor on the door. The door which had a recently newly installed lock, to take extra precautions. A passing thought of how it seemed to be so quickly enforced comes by, leaving as you become hyper aware of the blank gaze Keiji gives you. It’s not blank, per se. It looks blank to many bystanders, but to you, you know he’s focusing. He’s watching you and analyzing what you do. It’s a test.

A test you seem to have passed, when he calls you back for a bath. He doesn’t guide you there, no threats, just a simple “Come along,” as he walks towards the same bathroom he almost drowned and violated you in. The fear and anxiety of going back has your flight or fight response kicking in, the seemingly easy option of flinging the door open and leaving has your legs moving. But Keiji is quicker, stronger, and smarter than you. Before your fingertips can even graze the lock, your face is slammed into the floor.

“You were doing so well, too,” his feet are planted on either side of you, one moving to plant itself on your back. With a bit of force, you’re screaming as he has his heel pushing into your spine. “You deserve to be punished.”

“Fuck you, Akaashi!” You spit, squirming and wriggling to get him off. When his foot moves, you attempt to get up, but soon he drops down and fists your hair in one hand, the other pushing your cheeks together.

“I should wash that dirty mouth of yours,” he growls, shoving your face against the floor. By shoving, he essentially drops you into the floor. With a burning sensation in your nose, you feel a vaguely familiar liquid trickling out, a small red dot beneath you. He does it once more, making sure to keep his hand on your head to prevent you from getting up. “I trusted you to listen to me, [Y/N],”

“I’ll never listen to you,” you declare, hands balling into fists beside you. “I’ll never forgive you and Bokuto for what you did. I’ll never forgive or forget how you raped me, either!”

“I did no such thing. You enjoyed it, whore. You clamped around me like a vice last night, just as you probably did the stranger that violated you. Can it be consider violation if you were wet? What about when you started to enjoy it?”

“How would you know that, unless-“

“I know how much of a slut you can be, sleeping around with Alphas in high school and other Betas. You probably got off on being raped,” He sneers, putting more force in his hand, making it uncomfortable as your cheek is smushed against the floor.

“Fuck you,”

“I’ll take that as a yes. As a punishment, you won’t be leaving that bedroom for some time,” he finally lets you free, a large breath of air inhaled as you realize he was putting his weight on your lungs. “Come here,”

Wrenched from the ground, you find yourself dragged, kicking and screaming, back into the bedroom where Keiji cuffs you to the headboard. He’s huffing, but he manages to get both wrists cuffed to the headboard. Back to square one, with you refusing to acknowledge him while he tries to talk. Well, he does talk, you’re forced to listen.

When dinner time comes around, you expect some plain chicken broth or maybe even water, but instead you’re given nothing. Keiji doesn’t come in the room at all. The water running let’s you know he’s washing dishes, but where’s your meal? When his humming enters the room, you know he’s coming down. When he opens the door, in his hand lays a plate with bread crust and crumbs, along with some pocky sticks. Just two, however. Barely considered a meal. “Dinner!”

“You’re kidding me,”

“Dear, you know I don’t joke around easily. You were naughty this afternoon, so you’re going to eat my leftovers. Bread crust and some stale pocky sticks is the only thing on your menu,”

“I’ll starve instead,” a glare sent his way does frazzle him one bit, instead almost makes him... chippier. As if you’re falling for his well hidden trap. A nod and he’s gone, your only source of food with him. He won’t enter to room again until nighttime, so you’re left to wallow in your own solitude, something you used to take for granted.

When Keiji does finally come into the room, you’re excited to see him before remembering you don’t like him. Instead of taking the key and releasing your restraints to sleep, he grabs his pillow, his blanket, and his phone charger. “Where are you going?”

“Well, since you obviously hate me, I thought it’d be best that I leave you alone. After all, that is what you wanted, yes?” A small smirk is on his face as your eyes widen, thoughts running through your head as he takes his leave. Without a bid goodnight, Keiji leaves you alone in the room. With no possible entertainment except your mind, you feel uneasy. Unsteady. The world is suddenly dropping you off in an empty room with nothing and you can’t think of anything to keep yourself entertained. The television set buzzes to life outside, while the popping of popcorn fills your ears along with the melted butter smell. An urge to move flits around, but you decide it is best to not.

The next day, it’s a similar situation. Within three days of Kōtarō’s leave, you’ve found yourself craving his company more than ever. Keiji is ruthless and merciless, entering the bedroom for clothes and then leaving for work. He doesn’t talk to you, he doesn’t look at you, he barely enters the room anymore. You feel your stomach grumble at the thought of food, your mouth dry from the lack of fluids in your system. A pathetic way to die, one would think. With the lack of nutrition, your body will eventually decay or fall into an unstable state. Keiji isn’t a dunce, he knows this — at least, he should. Why then, you wonder, is he allowing this? Not only are you completely attached to the bed, but you haven’t been able to get up at all, even for bathroom use. The urine has stained the sheets, turning the pristine white cotton into a grimy yellow color, the ammonia stench covering the entire bedroom. You felt like a helpless child, in dire need of your parents to come home.

In a way, that’s what it was. You were helpless and needed someone else’s help. You need Keiji’s help. You can only go so long before you end up breaking, and you’ve reached a limit. The disgusting liquid under you was the final thread, the squelching and squeezing every time your hips move to a different area to attempt to leave the spot resulting in a failed attempt. The white dress was soaked, first from the bathroom incident and now it was dyed yellow due to your own fluids. Kōtarō wouldn’t be happy with those results.

When Keiji finally comes home, you hear him. You hear the door close and a sigh. Waiting for him to enter the room is quickly disregarded as you call for him. With no hesitation, he arrives at the room, looking at you. “You called, darling?”

“Keiji, please. I’m sorry I was bad. I need you, please don’t leave me,” you cry out, pulling on the cuffs. Shushing you, he quickly attends to your wrists, red and raw from the tugging, pulling, and twisting you’ve done over the past day. Once one hand is free from the restraint, he’s happy to feel it grabbing his shoulder, a silent beg to not leave. “Kei-“

“I know, I know. I won’t hurt you,” his words calm you down, sobs turning into hiccups as he guides you off the bed. Your legs are weak, unstable from lack of use, so he bridal carries you into the bathroom, not caring about the urine. After setting you on the toilet, he strips you of your dress and starts the bath. Trusting you to not move, he leaves. Another test, to see if you’ve really shaped up after the last attempt.

Keiji stands in the bedroom, pulling the sheets off the bed and removing the pad. He puts them aside, but waits. No movement from the bathroom, not even the toilet seat squeaking or the shutting off of the water. Continuing to put the sheets and dress away, he picks out a set of panties — new and clean, a treat for being good — to go with the pastel pink sundress. It looks exactly like the other one, except the color. After getting a towel and a change of clothes himself, he leaves.

You’re still sitting on the toilet, looking at him as he enters. Perking up, you push into the hand the caresses your head, brushing the tangled hair. He stops the water, guiding you into the tub. Once you’re settled, he strips down and joins you.

“You’re not going to hurt me?” You ask, voice dull.

“Of course not. When have I ever done that?”

The next day is such an improvement, Keiji can’t help but let Kōtarō know how well you’ve adjusted. You’re compliant out of fear rather than love, but Kōtarō doesn’t know that. He’s so excited to see a picture of you cooking in the kitchen, he probably wouldn’t care. The picture doesn’t capture the longing look at the knives, the fleeting glances at the door, the rigidness of your body as Keiji wraps his arms around you. It’s small gestures, but you never move to accomplish the action. Your finger might twitch, a gulp as you see the unlocked door, but you continue on. You make the noodles, you bring the tray to Keiji, you sit in his lap and allow the arms to secure your place. The food is something you’re ever thankful for, the lack of food spurring your resilience into breaking. With a gentle blow, Keiji feeds you the ramen you dutifully prepared for the both of you all day.

You never looked at the door again. You never looked at the knives unless you were cutting something. Even with Keiji breathing down your neck, eyes focused on your hands, you didn’t twitch or move to hurt him. You went to the bathroom and didn’t complain when he joined you. Even when he had to do his little daily checkup, you didn’t complain. The first time, you mentioned it tickled and questioned what he was doing, sticking his nose between your legs as he pried them open. He just smiled and said he needed to know if you were healthy, to which your questions easily stopped. Although he occasionally swept his tongue over your still wet folds, you never told him to go away and leave you alone. Even when he went further and had put you on the bathroom’s countertop before diving between your legs once more, your fingers thread themselves through his hair as you moaned.

When the news of Kōtarō coming back reached your ears, you didn’t know how to feel. Keiji was the one to help you, give you comfort, so you didn’t feel too excited to see Kōtarō. Keiji knew this would cause problems, as Kōtarō was expecting you to be as loving to him as you were to Keiji. After an explanation of the situation, you promised to perform appropriately for Kōtarō. With a whispered threat of locking you up again, you easily complied with everything you were asked to do. When Kōtarō came through the door, he was easily able to catch you as you jumped on him. “Welcome back!”

“Aw, [Y/N]! I’m glad to be back!” He nuzzled into your neck, indulging in your scent. You could easily pretend to be in love with Kōtarō, but your scent would tell him if you were feeling off. With his superior senses, you had to be forced into a mindset where you did love Kōtarō. Threats and memories of the past had could nodding along, situating yourself into his life easily. “I missed you, a lot,”

“Well, we won’t have to be gone for so long again, right?” You ask, a pout forming. “Or are you going to leave me?”

“Oh, no! You’re gonna live with me,” he grins, a closed eye smile. Your eyes widen as the information is processing, Keiji coming from the kitchen.

“It was a surprise for you. We’ll be moving to Osaka to be close to Bokuto-san,” he’s drying a knife, one he recently finished washing, but it’s also a silent threat. Kōtarō didn’t see the horrified look on your face, but he sure did.

“O-Oh. Okay! I can’t wait, when are we.. when do we move?” Twiddling your fingers, Kōtarō wraps his arms around you once more, effectively picking you up. No hesitating, your legs wrap around his waist as he looks up at your face, love flooding his eyes.

“You’ll move in with me tomorrow. Once Akaashi’s boxed everything up, he’ll join us. Our room is all set up, and there’s lots of rooms for kids. Speaking of-!”

“Another time, Bokuto-san,” Keiji harshly whispered, Kōtarō’s eyes widening before smiling, nodding. You didn’t know what that was, but you then focused on Kōtarō moving to the couch.

“Let’s eat, I’m starving! Maybe I can have something special for dessert, if you know what I mean,” with an added eyebrow wiggle, you shyly smile and nod. It’s what Keiji told you would please Kōtarō. It’s what Keiji told you that you need to do.

The dinner itself is fine, but when you ask to use the restroom, Kōtarō points out the red splotches on your white dress. Panicking, you attempt to locate the spot as your face heats up in embarrassment. Keiji then points out the bit of blood on Kōtarō’s pants, making you think your cycle has started. At that mention, Kōtarō’s growling in anger as you seize up in fear, unsure of what to do. Keiji tells you to change while he deals with Kōtarō, you immediately obeying and going to the bedroom.

“I thought ovulating meant she would get pregnant. Why isn’t she pregnant? Were you wrong?” Kōtarō asks, still angry. He knows he scared you, your lingering scent of fear in the room and around him. He thought he could smell another scent on you, but he didn’t know what it could be.

“Bokuto-san, I know this is frustrating but it’s possible she didn’t get pregnant. However, spotting is a sign of pregnancy. It was only a few drops. If she has anymore blood leakage that gets heavy tonight, we’ll know,” Keiji is able to calm down Kōtarō, who rolls his shoulders back and lies against the back of the couch. “Do you want to change your jeans?”

“Nah, it’s barely noticeable. Plus,” a thumb runs over the denim, Kōtarō licking his lips as his eyes darken, “this is like she’s claiming me, right?”

Kōtarō does not force himself on you that evening. Instead, he just cuddles you that night. It’s a differing touch than Keiji’s, who ends up rolling to the other side of the bed in the night. Kōtarō holds you close and tightly all night, snuggling closer to you, as if it was possible, and nudging his nose in your neck. It’s sweet, you think, as he caresses you like you’re made of glass.

The next morning, Kōtarō has you properly dressed to leave with him. A set of panties, sweatpants, t-shirt, and a hoodie. It’s a casual set of clothes, but they are all you came to Keiji’s house in a week and a half ago. Kōtarō says he’ll get you better clothes once you’re settled in, but you feel uneasy as you bid goodbye to Keiji. He worries about your mental state once you’re alone with Kōtarō, but he just has to hope you’re able to seem stable enough for a day.

In Osaka, you feel like your life is beginning anew. It’s not much different from Tokyo, but as Kōtarō guides you through the streets, it becomes known that Osaka has a lot more greenery. It’s very beautiful, in your opinion. When he stops in front of an old house, you glance at him. “Our new home, sweetheart!” He cheers, kissing your cheek as he picks you up. Carrying you inside the house, you notice the security. The gate is only opened via pin entry, which the gate itself is roughly 2 meters tall. Even the door to the house requires thumbprint access, a very modern and technological touch in an older, traditional house.

He shows you to your room, which is also his room, but yours too. It has its modern touch, with the remaining aspect of futons to lay on. The cameras in the hallway also are in your view, the one in the bedroom and the hallway. Looking into each room, you notice they are containing cameras, but one room is different. “What’s this?”

“Oh? This is our nursery! So, when you have a baby, it’ll be in here,” he chirps, pointing out things in the room. Scanning the room, you notice the lack of camera secured.

“Where’s the camera?”

“What— what camera?” Rubbing the back of his neck, he fakes confusion. You see right through it.

“I noticed the other cameras. There’s not one here,”

“Oh, well, that’s because this room has baby monitors!” He gestures to the white device. A nod of understanding has the tour moving on. Showing you to the kitchen, you notice the pantry and fridge are stocked. “Would you make me dinner?”

“Of course. What do you want?”

“You, served hot and steaming in the bath,” he grins. Eyes widen as you realize what he wants, you sheepishly laughing as you acquiesce.

Kōtarō is much rougher than Keiji, you knew that, but the way he fucks you with fervor as he hasn’t seen you in almost five days is something akin to his rut. Sinking his teeth into your skin, remarking his territory as he spurs you into your first orgasm of the night. Your nails are digging into his broad shoulders, the only thing you can use to keep yourself grounded. The setting wasn’t in the bathroom, but rather the bedroom where he claimed he wanted to “seal the deal” of you coming home. Legs tighten around his waist, back arching as he continues to drive his cock into you and litter your neck with less painful marks, claiming already claimed territory. As he presses a wet, sloppy kiss against your lips, you scream as you tighten your walls, feeling his knot force its way inside you.

A warm hand rubs the side of your body as your walls convulse around him, squeezing as he pumps you full of his cum. It’s a memory to you, but it feels so warm and fulfilling, you immediately relax in his hold as he continues to pepper kisses along your body. It’s a comforting feeling, being praised and cared for, a drastic difference from the way Keiji treated you a few days ago. Well, how you think he treated you a few days ago. He said he never did it, but your body said differently. With Kōtarō’s eyes of love looking down on you, you didn’t think it mattered. That was in the past, this was the present. You felt comfortable here, that was what mattered.

When Keiji arrived with a bunch of boxes, you were told to make them lunch so they could eat when they were done. Kōtarō said he didn’t want you straining yourself after last night, so you agree to his demands. Deciding to make some udon for lunch, you get to work as they lug in the boxes. The boxes aren’t large nor heavy, but watching Kōtarō easily lift three of them with no effort, while Keiji brings in two at most with also no effort, you feel yourself get wet at the thought of them hot and sweaty afterwards. With a possible treat in mind, you work more diligently, mentally preparing yourself to ask them.

Keiji mentioned he’d be looking for another job while Kōtarō was at the gym. It would be the first time you would be alone and free to roam. You begged Keiji to not leave for too long, hands grasping at the fabric of his shirt as he pried your hands off. Kōtarō gave you a sweet kiss before he left, telling you he’d try to hurry back, but you knew Keiji would get back first. Sitting in the large house, you didn’t know what to do except cook and sleep. Your phone screen lit up with a message from Kōtarō, a picture of him blowing you a kiss with a message of ‘I miss you!’ under it. You smile at that, sending back a message that you miss him, too.

Before you lock your phone, you look at the many games you have on it. There’s one game you don’t remember being on it, it looks like a tracker app. Clicking on it, it welcomes you and it shows how far along you are in.. pregnancy? First reaction is to panic, how do you know if you’re pregnant? Going into the internet app, you search up symptoms of pregnancy. One that jumps out to you is the spotting, only a little bit of blood as the sperm fertilizes the egg. It is most likely what you did on Kōtarō’s lap, the day he came to Tokyo. Another surge of panic comes as you think of your lovers, your mates. With Keiji looking for a new job and Kōtarō being busy with being a professional athlete, they don’t have time to take care of you and a baby. You decide to not tell them.

Although you decide to not tell them, the next week is excuses of your recent symptoms. You find yourself more exhausted than usual, not even getting out of bed to bid goodbye to Kōtarō and Keiji. Not only that, you end up in the bathroom as you feel sick, but only half of the times does something come up. It’s when you have another episode of morning sickness does Keiji pop the question. “Should I get a pregnancy test?”

“N-No! I’m not pregnant, just some bad sushi!” When Keiji’s grip on your arm gets tighter, you whimper. “Keiji, stop hurting me,”

“I’m not hurting you, I just need you to tell me the tru-“ the door shutting cuts him off, his attention to the door of the bathroom where Kōtarō is, panting.

“Something’s wrong, isn’t it? I could sense it,”

“I’m just a bit sick-“ “She’s pregnant-“ You both speak at the same time. Your eyes widen as Keiji looks at you.

“Pregnant? Now? Really?” Kōtarō is ecstatic, but you don’t take it that way.

“I’m not, I promise! I’m sorry!” You beg. Kōtarō’s mood turns sour, the anger directed towards you. Keiji stands back, but he doesn’t interfere.

“Why are you lying to me? If Keiji says you are, then you are! I know you’re lying!” He kneels on the ground and grabs your shoulders, digging his meaty fingers into the flesh. You yelp in pain, attempting to get him off. “Why are you doing this?! You were doing so well!”

“Stop, Kō-chan, stop! You’re hurting me!” A call out of his childhood nickname has his rage quelling, as you brush his hands off and rub the stinging skin. “I don’t want to be pregnant,”

“This isn’t about what you want. It’s about what we want, do you understand that?” Keiji speaks, voice low and threatening. You quickly nod your head, attempting to explain yourself.

“I- I thought that you wouldn’t want a baby because you’re both busy! I don’t- I don’t want to burden you more than I do,” with your words, the anger and rage suddenly evaporates as they understand.

“Burden us? Baby, we love you and do everything for you. You’re going to be carrying my pups and Keiji’s babies, we want this. This is all I ever hoped for,” Kōtarō coos, taking your hands and pressing a kiss to them. A fit of sobs escape as you wrap your arms around him, hiccuping into his chest. Keiji sits and smiles, knowing you have completely adjusted into the proper role.

With the news of your pregnancy, Kōtarō is able to get off a lot more to be there for you. You’re no omega, so it’s not as if he has to take off for 9 months, and Keiji is there to take care of you. Keiji takes care of any appointments you need to do, signing you into a private hospital nearby where Kōtarō’s teammate’s omega gave birth. A list of what was normal was given to you and Keiji and what would be a cause for concern, so you made sure to drill into your head about the possible problems. It was vital that you were able to give birth, being able to give Kōtarō and Keiji what they wanted all you needed to take care of yourself. Keiji prepared your meals, making sure you were eating properly even before the bump showed.

When the bump became prominent, you were glad that your wardrobe consisted of dresses. The dresses you had were all loose-fitting and easy to move around in. With the upcoming winter months, you had lots of blankets and an oversized jacket, bearing Kōtarō’s MSBY number and logo. Kōtarō couldn’t keep his hands off of you, always rubbing your bump and pinching the extra fat you were putting on. Worry over the added weight was a brief concept that quickly evaporated as Kōtarō voiced how much he loves the extra meat to fondle and love, tickling you as you giggle afterwards. Keiji couldn’t say he disagreed with Kōtarō, the added weight adding to your cuteness charm as you did the most basic and minuscule things. He could disagree with Kōtarō on the obsession with the pregnancy milk, however.

Lactation was painful, the way your boobs ached as they were full of creamy milk. Although they ache, Kōtarō encouraged you to let him drink from them. Hesitation was in the beginning, but once his lips had secured themselves on your nipple and started sucking, it was quite relaxing. The tender ache in your breasts were gone as Kōtarō drank from them, but he often had to drink from both of them due to Keiji’s aversion. He didn’t see the appeal, he rather enjoyed teasing your nipples when the sexual appetite of yours had risen, but he didn’t see the appeal in drinking the milk. Keiji did oblige Kōtarō, however, in looking into lactation cookies, which would increase milk production and could even make it taste better. It was worth a try, as it would help the children to develop as you breastfed them.

The lactation cookies Keiji made looked awful, but tasted amazing. You would have eaten all of them had it not been for Keiji stopping you. Kōtarō seemed excited, immediately begging for another go. He’d have to wait until nighttime, since he often took naps after you breastfed him during the day.

At night, you often slept completely naked, able to easily feed Kōtarō if he woke up in the middle of the night. Your sex drive had risen exponentially in your second trimester, to the point Kōtarō had to request off to take care of you. He made sure to keep his promise, stuffing you with his thick cock and plugging you up with his cum or lapping at your folds until your fluids splashed against his face. With the third trimester underway, your libido has decreased while your milk had increased, but that didn’t deter Kōtarō from getting frisky. Even as Keiji bathed away from you two, he couldn’t help but touch himself to your whines and mewls.

Kōtarō has been riding a cloud since your pregnancy came about. Even before the milk, he found it hard to resist fucking you, especially with the added sensitivity. Your breasts were larger now, bouncing with every thrusts as he tweaks the nipples, watching the cream dribble from them. He can’t help himself, really, as he goes to attach himself to one of your perky buds. When Keiji enters the room, he chuckles at the sight.

“Should we worry that there won’t be enough milk for you and the baby?” He muses, sitting on the futon next to you. Your hand grasps at his silk shirt, bringing him down to give you a kiss. Even as Kōtarō drills into you, you want more. A wet pop resounds around the room as Kōtarō laughs, groaning in your ear as he plugs you with his knot, pumping you full.

“The pup can have those bottles, and with help of those miracle cookies, we should be fine. You sure you don’t want to at least try a bit? It feels nice for her, doesn’t it, my little Beta?” He coos, pressing kisses to your cheeks as you come down from your high, walls fluttering around Kōtarō’s cock.

“It relieves some pain, I’ll admit that,” you smile at Keiji. “You can try,”

“Well, how can I say no to that?” He smiles back at you, brushing hair out of your face. Kōtarō massages your breast, holding it so Keiji can attach his lips to the nipple. His eyes focus on the creamy liquid dripping from the bud, only to become transparent as it follows gravity. When he does get a taste, he knows he’s in trouble. It’s as delicious as Kōtarō said, creamy and full that makes you want more. As he sucks with fervor, you giggle and Keiji is joined by his other lover, suckling any milk he left behind. It’s such a strange thing to happen, both grown men sucking on your chest as if they had been born only recently. With the swell of your stomach, you knew they’d have to share their milky mine.

As your due date drew near, you found yourself unable to do anything alone. Kōtarō was off completely until you delivered and Keiji was no longer looking for a job, as it was decided Kōtarō made enough for everyone to live comfortably. He knew he’d have to find another job soon, as more children were born and needed to be fed, but that was a well ways off, at least 9 more months.

What started as a normal day soon turned to chaos as preparations for delivery expedited when your water broke. The hospital had your room prepared already, but it was for your week stay as you were three days away from your date. Kōtarō was in a frenzy, unsure of what to do but desperate to do something. Keiji has to drive to the hospital, while you were doing breathing exercises with Kōtarō in the back seat. It was the birth of their first child, so even Keiji was panicking, but he was also excited.

Once settled into the room, the nurses had to check to see how far along you were dilated. Kōtarō was anxious, his scent permeating the room as he started to pace. The doctor had come in, spurring him into a fighting mentality because the doctor was another Alpha. Keiji and a nurse had to get him out of the room, with a promise he could see the children once they were born, but he would have to wait in the waiting room. Weakly calling out his name and telling him you were fine, he obliged as he left, punching the wall once as he felt his emotions boil over. Keiji was by your side, holding your hand as you squeeze it, pushing when the doctor told you to.

When the room was filled with screaming, the clock chiming as 12:15 had arrived, signaling the date of birth of your first born son. With his stubby arms and legs, you laughed as you held him, Keiji getting the honor of cutting the cord. The baby still needed to be cleaned and checked over, so the doctor and nurses took him while Keiji went to get Kōtarō. By the time Kōtarō and Keiji has come back, you were holding a small, but still big, baby boy swaddled in a thick blanket. Kōtarō immediately raced over to look over both of you, his scent out of control as his emotions mingled together. He didn’t know what to think.

“It looks like it’s yours, Kōtarō,” Keiji says, hand resting on Kōtarō’s shoulder. He smiles in response, looking at the baby’s golden eyes blinking open at him.

“Sure does, Keiji. I guess the next thing we should work on is proper marriage, right?” He watches as the baby grasps his finger, the small hand even smaller compared to his large one.

“A proper marriage, yes. The ring, the dress, the ceremony, you would like that, wouldn’t you dear?”

“Of course Keiji. Anything you want.” As you look up to him, he sees nothing but love in your eyes. He smiles, nodding in agreement.

“Well, as well as making sure the next one’s mine. We should start on that as soon as possible, don’t you think?”

[ellitx]

Chapter 13: Fidelity

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁

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art belongs to _suucrose

word count: 2.9k

           In sun and clouds, the church spire reached into that every stretching blue. It was as if it spoke of the love of the community towards their god, that it too lasted in any weather and called on them to join and put their faith in him.

           When Aether and Paimon walked along the nave, the church choir was different compared to the other choirs that didn’t sing hymns. Their voice was almost like angels, high notes soaring over the clouds, graceful notes dancing on the staves, and they sang for the Anemo Archon only.

           The two waited to finish their practice before looking for a certain deaconess that might help them gather more information they needed. It wasn’t long before Barbara noticed them and approached the two with a welcoming smile.

           “Hello, Honorary Knight. What brings you here today?” 

           Paimon flew over her and leaned closer for a much better closeness to ask. 

           “We would like to ask you something about Barbatos!” She exclaimed fervently whilst she placed her small arms in front of her chest. A bright smile was then donned on the deaconess’s face, her blue eyes sparkling in delight at her words.

           “Oh! Are you two perhaps interested in serving Mondstadt’s very own Anemo archon as well?” Her tone had an obvious enthusiasm in it. Aether already felt bad that’s not what they were here for, and be that as it may, he still has to prioritize in searching for his lost sibling.

           “That’s not the case. We wanted to ask if by any chance the Anemo archon has a lover.”

           Barbara’s small pink lips parted trying to utter a single word however a short chuckle was what came from her mouth. It surprised them and was confused if they said something odd. Her delicate hands were now placed on her mouth to stifle her laughs, apologizing in between them, as small tears form from the corner of her eyes.

           “Sorry for suddenly laughing. I wasn’t expecting that’ll be your question. But to answer that, there are no stories or mentions if Barbatos had a lover or not in the past. If he did, it would’ve already been written in the books and be sung by the bards everywhere. You celebrated the Windblume Festival, right?" 

        The two gestured their heads as a yes. "Since you already know it's a festival about love and freedom, wouldn't the Windblume Festival be celebrated for both of them instead of Barbatos only? But just as I have said before, there were no tales about the God of Freedom having a lover.”

           Something clicked inside his head though it didn’t last for long as it suddenly fades away like a speckle of dust. 

           “That’s true…” He turned to look at Paimon who was all troubled and disturbed.

           He continued to listen further if there’ll be more clues but it seems like that’s the only information he’ll get for now. His companion looked at him then held her aching head to alleviate the small ringing echoing in her ears.

           “Paimon’s running out of brain juice and my head is hurting the more Paimon thinks about this…” The throbbing in her head told her it was time to rest someplace quiet, to ride out the pile of confusion within her brain.

           Aether nodded and massaged his forehead in hopes to ease the pain. Why does he suddenly feel so lightheaded? He shook his head and pushed himself forward to carry out his plan on giving the pendant back to you. Words of gratitude were what Barbara received from the blonde and she waved them a goodbye to continue her choir practice with the other members of the Favonius Church.

           “Are we going back to the lair?” Paimon asked. Aether hummed in affirmation as they stepped outside of the parish. The harsh sunlight caused him to squint his eyes and cover his face with his arm. Was it always this hot for this season? The sudden change of the climate made him so lightheaded than ever. 

           Paimon detected how pale he looks as if he’d been painted with white-wash— even his lips were barely there. It was as if his heart had suddenly stopped beating and all the blood had run down into his boots. He swayed just for a moment, then with one step backward, he crumpled like a puppet suddenly released of their strings.

—

  Birds trill, sweetly high, the chorus as playful as the birds themselves. With closed eyes, Venti imagined their music to color, painting stairs in the same way grapevines grow - this way and that, in a beautiful harmony that isn't quite random. 

           Along with your soft humming, it made the ambiance much more relaxing and calm for him. In the calm of the day, his heartbeat is the steady drum to your melody and he seeps into the moment, allowing himself to drown in your beautiful voice.

           You rubbed the petals of the red flower between your fingers, watching your skin take on the sunny hue. Venti had spent the entire afternoon lying down on your lap and listening to your canorous tunes that made him forget about everything— as if you two were the only ones in this world with no one to intervene in such a peaceful moment he has with you.

           You watched the petal rotate and awed in admiration as a flower’s petal is able to spin like wind wheels. 

           “Hey, Venti,” You called out to him and peered down to peek at his sleeping face. Your lover hummed in drowsiness before opening one of his eyes to look at you. Dragging the flower close to him, he shifted to get a proper look at what you’re holding.

           “What flower is this?”

           You’ve always been a curious one. Even before you were in a coma. It’s like you have a passion in you to know every single thing about this world. From small creatures to rare species of beings in the wildlife, anything that catches your interest and you're eager to know more about it.

           Your drive to find answers is one of your unique traits he’s grown to love the more he’s with you. You create yourself in that fire of ongoing need that focuses everything that you are. And you do it because it feels as if the finding of the answer is your personal mission, your reason for being, your way of belonging and giving.

           It came to him if your curiosity will cross the line. Will it come to you that he’s been hiding his identity from you? Or will you still continue to live life with him in pure denseness? Either way, if you managed to find out he’ll find a way to have you forget what you witness. 

           For now, he has to be cautious and prevent you from exploring the outside world. Especially if that traveler is around in his land. It’s no good if you meet him. With the help of the humming winds to let him know what’s happening, it occurred to him that he has to just patiently wait and prevent you and Aether from crossing paths.

           Venti held your soft hands in his palms and took the flower from you. A small and gentle smile appeared on his face as he leaned forward and pressed his temple against yours, placing the plant close to your chest.

           “It’s Windwheel Asters.” He answered and observed how your eyes sparkled in joy when you watched the petals continue to spin.

           “I haven’t seen these before.” 

           Venti lightly chuckled and placed the flower between your hands as he returned to resting himself against you, but this time his head was now on your shoulder. “Windwheel Asters cannot grow in places with no wind nor plagued by strong storms, only where the wind is gentle and nourishing.” 

           “Really?” You laid your head against his and fiddled with the stem. If these floras are really unable to grow in harsh winds, then it means Old Mondstadt’s storms have truly vanished without any traces left. 

           Peace and harmony at last. 

           Freedom is finally with you.

           You lifted your hand up against the sunlight and marvel at how simple it is. It may not look as fancy as the cecilias nor does it resemble feathered wings of a dandelion when blown away, but you found yourself liking this more than what Venti had given you.

           It’s not like you don’t appreciate his efforts for collecting every cecilias and dandelions in this region to create a wonderful garden for your eyes to fancy with, you still are grateful for it though you do wonder why did he not include these asters in the collection?

           “I kind of like this. It reminds me of you.”

           Now that made him fully awake.

           “Me?”

           The color-infused cheeks dimpled with the blossoming smile, your eyes shone in a way that only deep happiness can bring. It was the blush of roses, that peek of champagne pink. Nodding your head to him, you brought the flower close to your face to cover your flushing features.

           “You were always fighting for freedom. If it weren’t for you, we won’t be able to see the skies and birds you’ve always wished for. I really admire your perseverance and passion to fight against my father to have the city liberated from his hands. Thank you. Thank you for revolting against him. Thank you for giving everyone freedom they’ve longed for.”

           You suddenly felt your throat tightened and your breath hitching every now and then. With your shoulders shaking and chin trembling, you fear he might see you in such a vulnerable state. You lowered your head even more and let your hair cover your face. Even if you hide it from him, Venti can still see small drops of liquid falling from you until it turns into a small puddle on the back of your hand.

           “[Name]…?”

           “Even though I’m Decarabian’s daughter, you never looked or treated me differently. Even after the war has ended, you never leave me. And now father, mother, and the knight… they’re all gone and y-you survived. You still stayed with me until I woke up…  I… I was so scared that once I awoke, I won’t be able to see you.”

           You were wiping your cheeks every few seconds and gulping down the lump sitting on your throat. Sniffling quietly, the tears still threatened to spill from your eyes. Your lover gently clutched your hand and used his other hand to lift your chin up to look at him.

           Your eyes were red and swollen. It shatters his heart seeing you like this as your tears split over and flowed down your face like a river escaping a dam. Using his finger to dry your damp face, he brushed his lips on your temple and laced your fingers together.

           “I should be the one thanking you.” He muttered and brought your intertwined fingers up to his lips to kiss the back of your hand. “Without your support, I don’t know how things would end up. If he— if I hadn’t saved you back then, you’d be locked up in that tower. Things would go differently, wouldn’t they? I can’t bring myself the idea of leaving you there when they were chasing after you.”

           He pushed you until your back was leaning against the rough trunk of the tree. His other arm was propped beside your face before he rested his head on your shoulder and nuzzled closely.

           “Thank you. Thank you for always being here with me.” Even though his voice was muffled, you can hear him loud and clear through your teary state. A shaky smile came from you as you caressed his hair lovingly before leaning forward and wrapping your arms around him.

           “I love you. I love you so much, Venti.”

           He has lived long enough to know that what you share he can’t replicate it with another. This love, this feeling, is just you and him. He could travel the world and the seven regions to create new ballads; he’d still come right back at you if he wanted true love. 

           He has protected you for years, he’s your confidant, a true friend, and even a lover. The trust he gave you, you gave him, is what keeps both of you safe in this world, in this life. So whether his heart beats another day or another hundred years— it’s always yours.

           Meeting Venti was more of a coincidence than a fate. Yet it was the first time in your life you felt like you could be yourself around him. Memories of meeting him have become the same as the dream you play time and time again. You felt good with him in a way you haven’t been before or since.

           Hearing those three eternal words from you is surreal for him. His heart would beat madly and his stomach churn in such a way excitement and happiness is filling his entire system. He wants to hear from you again.

           Just once more so he can finally have you all to himself.

           His chest was burning hot and so was his heart that rapidly beats in great euphoria. He can sense your emotions when you cry but this feeling… it’s much more different than he had felt before. A burning desire. He’s so smitten of your entire existence. All words coming from you were all his, he grasps each phrase and corresponds with his own loving and affectionate words.

           He was brought out from his trance when he felt how warm his palm is, and it’s when he became aware his hand was now placed on your cheek just like how he brings your hand to cup his face. 

           Venti felt his face heat up at such a simple gesture and when you give a short and quick chaste kiss on his lips, he recognized the first brightest and sweet smile for this day was painted on your graceful visage.

           “I love you.”

           His wish was heard when you repeated your confession at him. Is it finally working? Were his efforts finally paid off? Before Ludi Harpastum was the Windblume, a festival where they offer windblumes to their loved ones and to the Anemo Archon. Every year, every time Mondstadt celebrates Windblume, his first priority is to give you cecilias.

           He collected them for you every year. He tends them very well until they bloom— until your eyes opened. For him, windblumes are the cecilias. A symbol of elegance, purity, and just as ethereal as your gentle heart. It may be different from what that really means as interpreted by the people of Mond, but for Venti, he feels freedom when he’s with you, he feels loved when he’s with you and it’s the reason why he gathered so many flowers for you while you were asleep.

           The arrangement given to him by the former Dendro Archon— she proposed the idea to him to gather flowers for you every time they feast Windblume. He can still clearly remember her words, her voice echoing in his head saying that even she may part from this world. 

           Her predictions for her own life were accurate. As if she already expected this to happen to her and that’s why she’s planning ahead to list all the preconditions to him to keep you safe and harmless. Barbatos can’t keep relying on her on everything and that is why he put a lot of effort into maintaining the garden.

           Yesterday night was the time of the ceremony. Venti prepped everything to make it perfect, he wanted it to be successful. A mimic of a dance he once saw when he and you were together ages ago, it was a secret you both hid but he knows this. Barbatos knows what happened during that time and pretended as if he weren't there.

           But now that he was able to dance it with you, one would call him shameless for stealing you from him. The heavy weight on his shoulder was now lifted away, finally free from the guilt he’s been feeling for centuries. His inner battle with himself is fully resolved, inner conflicts vanished, a conflict between his love and longing for you.

           Your words eased Venti and made him assured you love him back as well. If you haven’t said a single word about your own feelings, he’d be living in an illusory fantasy that you were only shy to tell him you love him very much. But ever since the bond has been created, all he hears is I love you’s from you for his ears to delight in.

           “I love you,”

           You repeated once, a faint brush of your lips against his made him shudder. Soft, gentle, and shy just like your personality. Twice when you parted away, grasping how he tastes like apples before meekly leaning on him once more for a kiss but with more vigor. Your hand clutched the front of his shirt when you felt him hold you the small of your waist to pull you against him.

           “I love you.”

           Thrice was words of tenderness and desire from you to him. At that moment, you felt your body flushed warm. This was a person you wanted to be with than you’d ever felt before. 

           Venti has always been the one you could love forever.

@trust-the-oxygen​

[lokiondisneyplus]

No character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe has the staying power of Loki. Portrayed with just the right amount of smarm and charm by Tom Hiddleston, the impish trickster with the ability to shapeshift and cast illusions is a favorite among fans despite the fact he's betrayed friends and family multiple times since debuting opposite Chris Hemsworth in 2011's "Thor." The most predictable thing about him might be his unpredictability. And yet no one thought the character would return to the MCU after being killed by the all-mighty Thanos (Josh Brolin) in the opening scene of 2018's "Avengers: Infinity War." However, we're now on the cusp of the character leading his very own show.

Debuting Wednesday, June 9 on Disney+, the six-episode "Loki" follows a past version of the character, though it's not a prequel. This Loki is the man who successfully stole the Tesseract, aka the Space Stone, when the Avengers traveled to the past in 2019's "Avengers: Endgame." His actions that day ultimately created a branched reality — the very thing the Ancient One (Tilda Swinton) warned the Avengers about when they attempted to gather the stones in the past. So when the show picks up, Loki will find himself being forced to work with the Time Variance Authority, an organization dedicated to protecting the proper flow of time, to help restore the main timeline he broke when he fled with the Tesseract in 2012.

It remains to be seen whether or not the series is one of the shows Marvel's Kevin Feige said was developed with additional seasons in mind. But with this particular setup — and assuming the show operates independently of the main overarching narrative of the MCU — this is the type of series that could easily run for multiple seasons should the people involved desire it. And given his comments over the years, Hiddleston definitely seems game to portray Loki until he's too old to do so.

But what is it about the character, a Frost Giant who was adopted by Odin (Anthony Hopkins) as a baby and raised as an Asgardian, that has allowed him to persevere – especially when Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson), Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr) and even Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) have not? What gives Loki, a character who has been both villain and antihero, such longevity in the MCU? Is it Hiddleston himself? Is he nurturing goodwill with his enchanting performance? Is it the character's unpredictability keeping things fresh? Or is it the potential of a flawed man still searching for an identity and purpose?

Over the last decade, Hiddleston — whose name was once bandied about as a possible James Bond candidate after a stellar turn in "The Night Manager" — has won favor with Marvel and its fans thanks to his continued dedication to the role of Loki and his support of the extended universe. Some actors have been happy to say goodbye after fulfilling their contracts, but you'd be hard-pressed to find an actor who loves his job with Marvel more than Hiddleston. (Never forget the time he dressed up in character and took over Hall H at San Diego Comic-Con in 2013.) But in addition to his acting chops and commitment to the role of Loki, Hiddleston is also just an effortlessly charming individual, and some of that natural charisma bleeds into his performance, making the character a richer and more complex character as a result. And it's a good thing too because a character like Loki — someone ruled by his emotions, whose only allegiance is to himself, and who wouldn't think twice before double-crossing his own brother — runs the risk of becoming either very annoying or quite tired rather quickly. Luckily, Loki is neither.

After learning the truth of his origins in the first Thor film, Loki's anger toward his family and the betrayal he felt put him on a path to finding his purpose, which resulted in him becoming the mouthy and manipulative, power-hungry antagonist of the first Avengers movie. At the time, no one outside of Feige and other decision-making executives likely knew what was in store for the future of the MCU.

But now we can look back and see Hiddleston's captivating turn in "The Avengers," in which he attempts to take control of Earth using an army of Chitauri forces, was more than just the catalyst for the various heroes recruited by Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) to finally team up. It was also the beginning of what might be the best character arc in the entire MCU. No one save perhaps Sebastian Stan's Bucky Barnes, aka the Winter Soldier, has had a more complicated or effective emotional personal journey throughout the entirety of the Infinity Saga (and beyond). Perhaps that is why when Loki was eventually killed several films later in the middle of his redemption arc during the opening scene of "Infinity War," the heartbreak seemed to extend beyond the edges of the frame and into the real world.

The exceptionally fun 2017 film "Thor: Ragnarok," which immediately preceded "Infinity War," saw Loki forced to confront his past and make a decision regarding his future. The death of his father and the return of Hela (Cate Blanchett), the Goddess of Death and the sister neither Loki nor Thor knew existed, ultimately meant the end of life as he knew it. But rather than fleeing at the first chance like everyone assumed he would, Loki accepted his place in his family and returned to his brother's side after the destruction of Asgard. Of course, he also pocketed the Tesseract before the planet was destroyed, a seemingly innocuous decision that would unfortunately lead Thanos right to him. But learning to care about something more than his own immediate wants was a redeeming moment for Loki, as was his attempt to save Thor from Thanos, so his death was both an effectively heartbreaking moment that resonated with fans while serving as a harbinger of what was to come.

It also felt like closure, so when a past version of Loki popped up in "Avengers: Endgame" when Tony, Cap, and Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) traveled to 2012, it was a pleasant surprise. That the new series "Loki" follows this branched-reality version of the character and won't erase the character's original narrative arc is what makes the show such an intriguing new chapter. When the show premieres, Loki hasn't gone through any sort of character evolution. He is still the angry man who tried to force all of humanity to kneel before him in a desperate attempt to find his place in the world. He has yet to go through the events of his mother's death or the destruction of Asgard. He's a man out of time, a man without a home. And it's the chaotic, still-in-progress nature of Loki and the inability to guess what he might do when an organization like the Time Variance Authority, which is dedicated to order, tries to force him to do what they say that makes this new chapter so exciting.

Each episode of the show, which also stars Owen Wilson as Mobius M. Mobius and Gugu Mbatha-Raw as Judge Ravonna Lexus Renslayer, will see the character travel through time and space on a mission to restore order to the timeline. But will this Loki follow the same path as the man we know and love? Or will this version make different choices without Thor by his side? More importantly, will he find what he's looking for?

Loki is a man driven by insecurity and an ongoing struggle with his identity, though he deftly covers up his deficiencies with a devious wit and charm. The constantly shifting logo in the show's trailer represents both the character's shapeshifting ability as much as the idea that he doesn't know where he belongs or who he is yet. And although the beats of such a character arc are hardly new territory for Hollywood — you could argue they've even been done to death at this point — the potential for greatness still exists as Loki remains pleasantly unpredictable. It means anything can happen, and with Hiddleston promising a show that is unlike anything Marvel has ever done, there's no reason to believe Loki the man and "Loki" the show won't continue to endure and evolve even beyond this first season. After all, he certainly has the staying power.

"Loki" premieres Wednesday, June 9 on Disney+.

[hypnomicimagines]

Fateful Meeting [Ninja!Harai Kuko/Reader]

The young ninja’s eyes were sharp, intense, so much so it felt like you were looking into the sun.

You looked down and away from his glare as you continued to tend to his wounds, ignoring the way he shifted uncomfortably, like he didn’t want you touching him at all. But he was the one who had stumbled upon your home a complete bloody mess, barely conscious as he looked up at you with pleading eyes, a moment of weakness when he thought he was on death’s door. Now that you had given him water and stopped his wound from bleeding his normal temperament had come back, and something told you he wasn’t the most pleasant dinner guest to have.

You had just finished bandaging him up when he abruptly stood, grabbing your wrist to stop you from reaching out to touch him again. You shared a look, wondering if he was the type of ninja to have taken a vow of silence before he opened his mouth for the first time.

“What do you want?” His tone is harsh but you think it’s likely just the way he sounds, if his looks are anything to go by. “You wasted your healing supplies on me, so what is it you want in return?”

“I don’t expect you to repay my kindness. Kindness isn’t kindness if it’s done expecting gratitude. Although I do suggest you spend some more time here recovering before you go anywhere…” Kuko’s eyes widened ever so slightly at your words but he doesn’t allow you to fully see his surprise, his neutral expression returning just as quickly as it had left. He adjusted the mask on his face as he stepped towards the door, ignoring your pleas for him to sit and rest a while longer.

“I always repay my debts.”

“Wait! Can’t you tell me your name at least? Or is that part of the whole secretive ninja clan thing you clearly have going on?” He hesitated for a second at your request, so simple to you yet to him… it was a show of trust. To willingly give your name to a stranger could mean terrible things for someone whose job was to blend in with the night; it would be better if you could forget he was ever even there which is why he becomes even more surprised when he spoke.

“Harai Kuko. Don’t forget it!” There’s a little more emotion in his introduction, a little less cold and far more personality shining through (which reaffirmed your assumption he was not the type of guest to bring home to your parents). But you found yourself charmed by him all the same, gentle smile on your face as you waved goodbye, his name just a whisper on the wind with how quickly he was gone.

You’re in awe at how such a bright shock of red hair managed to fade perfectly into the darkness but he’s gone from your view within seconds, leaving you reeling at the experience, wondering if it had only been a dream. The bloodied bed where he laid as you tended to him told otherwise but you tried not to think too deeply on it, grabbing the sheets to toss into your laundry pile to clean later. You cleaned up the scraps of your bandages and tidied your home like no one had been there, knowing that you had to sleep soon as you couldn’t burn the candle at both ends. You had to be up early for your patients the next morning as well since the work never seemed to end in the midst of the war.

As you’re finishing up there’s several aggressive knocks at your door, your body suddenly tensed as something feels off. Ever since your late-night visitor had left you felt an odd sensation in your chest, this anxiety unwavering in the heavy night air as you wondered how things could possibly get more interesting. When you’re greeted with the sight of two heavy-set men your anxiety finds itself skyrocketing, finding yourself backed into the corner of your own home as they make themselves comfortable.

“Excuse us for intruding. We just happened to see a trail of blood leading here… Are you alright?” His tone indicated he was not at all concerned about your well-being so you didn’t reply, instead trying to fix him with a steady stare that said ‘I’ve done nothing wrong’. “Ah, I see, the quiet type. I don’t mind that however… we’re tracking down a certain menace. A man with bright red hair who we heavily injured earlier today.”

“Why are you asking me?”

“Are you not the resident healer?”

“I am… but that blood trail could have just as easily been from an injured boar who was fighting for territory in the woods. Assuming it was human is a leap.”

“Might I ask why you’re still awake?”

“Some nights my mind keeps me awake with all sorts of thoughts, like whether or not I have to go into town to get more herbs and the like. You’re awfully inquisitive, are you perhaps looking to become a healer rather than being a person who supplies me patients?”

Your temper started to flare up despite you trying to carefully navigate the conversation, wanting these people who clearly came here to threaten you out of your home. You’d dealt with their type before, absolute savages, and you don’t appreciate their intrusion. You’re fonder of the random man who was bleeding out on your doorstep than these people who hurt just because they could, who bullied because they knew people were too afraid to stand up to them. Your irritation doesn’t go unnoticed but is returned with a heavy silence and glares, the two men who had forced their way in their home looming over you menacingly.

Perhaps you should’ve just gone straight to bed.

Kuko hadn’t made it far.

As headstrong as he was even he couldn’t deny the pain his body was in, his wounds aching as they hadn’t closed properly. He was normally far more respectful of the healers back at the temple but he was in a hurry, needing to report back to his father his findings immediately. He didn’t want to bring those hunting him to you either, it would be bad news as they seemed to have no issue slaughtering innocents left and right. He felt like there was a boulder in his gut that was slowing his movements, his body not able to move as nimbly until he’s finally forced to stop. He doesn’t know how far he’s gotten nor how much time has passed but he’s bleeding again.

It’s either turn back towards your hut or continue forward in hopes of finding another healer.

Something else is pulling him back towards you, like you’d attached strings to his body and were pulling at him to come back behind the curtain. Kuko bit his tongue hard to keep himself conscious, leaning against a tree, taking a deep breath, and then starting the journey back to your home. He’d have to prepare a proper apology for impeding on you so late at night but the sudden sense of urgency that rushed through his body stopped his needless worrying, walking forward with a huff.

He didn’t know why but he had to get back to you.

Now.

Your head is pounding as you lay in a crumpled heap on the floor, hands raising to cover your head to prevent further damage to your skull. You’d be in more pain if you were fully conscious but you’re only partially aware of what’s happening to you, your house in shambles around you. The place had been torn apart, the bloody bandages from earlier thrown across the room as they had been found during a ‘mandatory search’. The table you had been sitting at was flipped over and jars of needed herbs were tossed on the floor, even worse, now your own blood was staining the floor.

You’re fighting to stay awake, eyes scanning the floor for anything to defend yourself with but it was a fruitless endeavor. Your hands were meant to heal not harm, you weren’t suited for anything like this, and your assailants were clearly far more skilled than the average soldier. You wished you could say you put up a better fight than the pathetic mess that actually happened but there wasn’t time for self-pity.

“Hey you bastards! Didn’t hurt your pride enough after round one?”

Ninja’s are supposed to be quiet, stealthy, but Kuko had burst onto the scene like some sort of hero in a play. You’re wide-eyed as you spot the shock of red hair but your vision is so blurry and your brain so scrambled you’re worried you’re just hallucinating him. Your eyes met his for a second, your pleading reaching Kuko’s heart immediately; if he hadn’t been so carefully trained his entire life, he thinks his anger might’ve exploded in that moment, causing him to do something he’d regret. To see someone who had treated him with kindness, without asking any extra questions about who he was, someone who was likely innocent and had no means of defending themselves…

It pissed him off.

You hear the sound of skin on skin, some cackling that you’re sure is your ninja savior despite how high-pitched and wicked it sounded, and what you hope isn’t your house getting torn into even more pieces. Your face was buried in your arms as you were growing more exhausted, knowing the moon must be high in the sky at this point. You should’ve been in bed hours ago. Who would help your patients tomorrow when you could hardly help yourself? You weakly managed to bring your head up to survey the room around you but it’s suddenly silent, not a soul in sight until Kuko re-enters your home from the front door.

“Should I ask where you took them or just rely on blind faith?”

“You don’t have to blindly trust me but those assholes got what they deserved,” Kuko scoffed as he walked over to you, lifting you effortlessly so he could bring you over to your little bed (which had stayed clear of any debris). “Shit, I’m tired.”

Your eyes widened as Kuko lowered the mask so he could breathe a little easier, his face so smooth except for a scar on the underside of his chin. You can see a few more scars peeking out from the tears in his clothes but you don’t allow your mind to wander. Kuko is currently questioning why he just revealed his face in front of a civilian without thinking twice about the consequences, knowing this was yet another rule he had broken. There was a strict code all ninja were expected to follow and he’d already broken at least two rules, even more because he actually found himself liking you. He would be lucky if he got out of this unscathed by his father, not that he gave a damn what that shitty old man had to say to him, but he’d rather make his life easier.

“You’re bleeding… your wound from before reopened, didn’t it? I need to help you…”

Kuko shied away from your touch but you can see he’s actively fighting his body’s natural response to protect himself, freezing in place to allow you to place a hand on his shoulder. You kept your movements deliberately slow to prove you meant no harm, not like you could even consider raising a hand to him after he had saved you from who knows what kind of fate. He had half a mind to argue with you about trying to help him when you were injured yourself but he was too tired to even argue, his dad would’ve laughed if he heard that one.

“We should sleep…” After you had replaced his bandages with clean one you sent an exasperated look to your home, disliking the fact it was so messy despite none of it being your fault.

“We can just clean tomorrow.” Kuko flopped himself unceremoniously onto the floor beside your bed, hands behind his head like a pillow with his legs crossed; he winced a bit at the impact but otherwise gave no indication he was uncomfortable. You’re about to question his decision to sleep directly beside you but there really didn’t seem to be enough room in your home with a table flipped over in the middle of it, so it was easier to just settle yourself in beside him and hope he wasn’t secretly some pervert.  

Wait, did he say we?

“So, you’re going to stay this time?” You turned on your side to look at him, “I could use some extra help in the woods tomorrow… It shouldn’t be too rough a walk with your injuries… but I guess it’s selfish of me to ask a stranger to just help me out with my own chores…”

“Hmph. I guess I can help.” Kuko’s eyes are closed yet he’s unable to sleep, peaking one open when he hears you shuffling around next to him in an attempt to get comfortable. Even with a bruise forming on your temple you’re as stunning as ever, the young ninja biting his lip as he wondered how much of this was a sense of duty and how much was just him indulging his personal desires.

“Thank you…” You finally whispered out as sleep overcame you.

Kuko is left speechless, cheeks warm as he tries to settle his rapidly beating heart.

[bluedudewithatude]

bluedudewithatude - Ten Years Later. [ooc]

Boy. Time sure flies, huh?

Yep. That's the very first post on this blog, exactly ten years ago.

Wow.

If you would have told me when I made this blog that I'd be posting on it ten years later, I wouldn't have believed you. But. Here we are. On a blog I made on a whim, celebrating how it's now ten years old. Just... wow.

... Okay. I'll come clean. Maybe I don't have the right to make this post with how I've been absent in the last few years, but Sonic Generations is why I made this blog, and the timestamp there says this blog is ten years old, so. I'm counting it.

Besides. I wanted to come on here, and... update you all. Talk to you. Let you know how I'm doing, and let you know something important.

... It's about time BlueDude came to an official end.

I know, I know. Why not just leave the blog in silence? Why not just... let it stay inactive? Why make this post at all, if all I'm doing is saying goodbye? Well, that's the thing. This blog means enough to me to give it an end.

This blog's seen a lot in my life. I've moved a lot, made lifelong friends, parted ways with friends I've thought I'd have in my life forever, gotten engaged to the love of my life, realized who I am (Trans rights!) and achieved my biggest dream as a Sonic fan and went to the Sonic 25th Anniversary Party. It's even helped me reconnect with some old family, believe it or not! And all of you were here for that.

That's why.

This blog was just a hobby, something I started on a whim, but it became not just a part of my life, but part of me. Running this blog meant so much to me. I had fun with it, but it also became an obligation. Even as I've not been around these last few years, every so often I'd think "I haven't been on BlueDude. I should hop on, make a post, reply to some asks and dust it off," but never gotten around to it due to other obligations. I also know thinking that as often, and frequently, as I have, isn't healthy. What is healthy, though, is moving on, as hard as it is to do.

Leaving BlueDude quietly wouldn't feel right, after everything the blog's been through. What's happened with it and what it's meant to me and all of you. I've kept this a secret for a long time, but BlueDude reached over 1,000 followers like... within the first two years. Which is... amazing! Incredibly impressive! And now it's... sitting at 4,000+? Like. Wow. So, how many of you are bots?

When I made this blog back when I was 17, I was scared that I'd never play Sonic as well as he deserved. Sonic was, and still is, my hero. I didn't think I could play him well at the time, nor did I ever think that I would... apparently do it so well, that all of you welcomed him and treated him like the real deal. I've always been honored, flattered, and humbled by it. I hope the advice Sonic's given you all these years has helped you and made you smile when you needed it.

I went from being unsure I could write my favorite blue hedgehog to enter Sonic fandom spaces and RP spaces to say "I run BlueDudeWithATude" to be recognized, and that... honestly just. Wow. I would have never expected that.

To all of you who have stuck by me despite my inactivity, and other things, thank you so much.

Now... I say this is the end, but it's not entirely. I'm not vanishing off of the internet or anything. In fact, I've got great news to share! Yours truly now works as a gaming journalist! I honestly can't believe I get to say that! I won't say what site I work for -- not really in the mood to doxx myself today, thank you -- but I might share it with those I trust privately. Either way, BlueDude might go without posts, but someday you might read an article about the latest Sonic game, see the name "Zack" attached, and smile fondly remembering me and what I've written on here. That would make me very happy. <3

And, truthfully, this is just a more formal goodbye in case I leave this blog to be silent again. I really wanted to give BlueDude a proper send-off, proper credits roll and results screen, so I had to reset passwords and get into some old emails just to make this post. So I may stick around to answer a few lingering asks and try and make some kind of dent in his ask box after it's piled up for years. We'll see.

Either way, I wanted to let you know what's happening, what I'm doing, and where I'm going next. Even if this blog doesn't get posts anymore, it'll still be part of my life, and I hope you'll remember my blog fondly.

I never expected this when I made this blog without any planning, and while thinking I'd never do Sonic justice. Just the fact that I could make fellow Sonic fans smile, laugh, and help them out in only the ways Sonic could, makes me feel very fulfilled.

From one Sonic fan to another, and from the Sonic you all welcomed and loved of the last ten years...

Thank you. Thank you so much for absolutely everything. <3

Catch ya later!

- Zackari, AKA, BlueDudeWithATude

[lovee-infected]

When will it come out where Epel cut off MC I am still waiting until this day (I'm waiting) I'm not rushing you at all but I hope you are doing well 😢 (im sad)

“Apple of my eye”

(A/N): Sorry that it took so long! Hope you enjoy this anyway dears! ~ ♡

Ever since Epel decided to cut ties with you after learning the truth of you being a girl, his life has been nothing but an absolute nightmare. He's got his days filled with fear and his nights filled with regret, wishing there to be a way for both of you to forget. Forget all the times you made him laugh, and all the times he made you cry. He wanted there to be a way for the of you to move on with your lives as if you'd never hurt one another like now. But as it is for now, he is just one step far from being trapped inside this hell forever alone, because you're finally about to leave the twisted wonderland, forever.

Living in Night Raven college has brought you nothing but pain since the day Epel, your trusted best friend and the guy you once loved rejected you after learning the fact that you are a girl. Each and every second spent around all your friends and people you used to admire felt like a torture. How long? For how long are you going to wait until them too throw you away like Epel did? For how much longer can you pretend to be fine until everyone left around you turn their backs on you as well? Days? Weeks? Months? Or have they already given up on you?

You can't take it, it just hurts so much. Even when there's a friend around, it feels like you're ready to break down in tears and run away again and again; just like it happened with Epel. Why does it hurt you so much though? You were supposed to be strong. You were all on your own when you first came into twisted wonderland, you thought you'd be able to handle it again on your own from now on. But uh, how wrong you were. To think that you'd be as strong as you used to now that your dearest one has left you behind...

No wonder why you immediately agreed to Headmaster Crowley's offer when he argued that he might've found a way to send you back home by passing through the black mirror under 2 conclusions : 1) You'll never be able to make a return to twisted wonderland and 2)You won't remember anyone, or anything from this world. As if it has never existed.

At this point, forgetting Epel and everything about him forever seemed to be the only way of letting go of the pain... Now that you can't have him, best would be to never remember how much you once loved.

"(y/n)... is leaving?" Epel murmurs. Rook shakes his head as a yes, all he could do was to at least let Epel know after how things had gone between you and him lately.

Perhaps Rook was the only one who exactly knows happened that morning, the day Epel tainted each and every memory you once had beside him which you used to recall as your sweetest days of life.

Even as Rook was just sneak peaking behind the wall and all he could do was to listen to Epel shouting and you trying to calm him a bit, he's pretty certain that he heard the sound of your heart breaking the moment Epel mercilessly told you that he's cutting ties with you.

Young Epel really did have a hidden dark side all this time, didn't he...?

Lucky of him that Rook was the only one who saw that. Rook may not be that respective toward people's privacy, but he does know how to keep a friend's secret. As for now, he had to agree that your case was concerning. Not just for you but for Epel himself as well. It's pretty rare of him to feel so but he you can tell that he does care.

"In a few days or so, just enough of time for her to patch stuff up and, well, say goodbye to her friends,"

Friends, huh? To think that not so long ago Epel deserved to be reminded as your friend... How fast did it all change,right? Time is an absolutely terrifying thing, he thinks.

A moment of silence passes until Rook speaks up: "Aren't you going to say goodbye?"

'Say good bye',...This sentence keeps on being repeated inside Epel's head. Why would you even want to hear these words coming from him while Epel himself was the only reason that you have to leave? He hurt you and there was no way to undo what he did to you, even if he could one day be able to face that you, his best friend and at some point, the only friend ever since he stepped into night raven college are a girl, it was impossible to look into your eyes again like he hadn't done all the terrible works he did.

That is a fact, he can't fix a broken heart, neither his or yours. Yes, he was mad at you and is still mad. He felt so used to see that you of all people couldn't even trust him with such a simple thing like your gender. The fearful thought of you getting that close to him because he was nothing but a naïve boy who couldn't tell the difference between male and female. If so, were all the times you told Epel that you cared for him a lie? Did you just want to play him around because he was a lonely boy who didn't have any other friends to talk to? Did you too find him stupid...? Why (y/n)? Why..??

Epel bites his lower lip trying his best not to cry in front of Rook. He already cries enough every night in bed and doesn't need another audience watching him suffer.

"Epel?" Rook calls, making Epel realize that he hasn't yet answered his question.

No, he isn't going to walk up to you just to say goodbye. But if he refuses to do so, wouldn't it make that heartless "I'd rather cut ties with you" his very last sentence to you...?

Epel rolls over and his bed again again, another sleepless night. Though something made this night worse than the previous ones, tommorow would be the day that you'll quit his world forever, and he didn't even come to say his last goodbye...

When was the last time he Epel got a proper night sleep anyway? He can't remember. He's sure been a while that he wanted to take a second in peace, either through sleeping or through reality. When he was awake, he wanted to shut his eyes on life. When he tried to sleep, it either ended with him squirming in his surprisingly 'uncomfortable' bed all the time or waking up wet in sweat from another nightmare.

The only time he actually got to sleep for a minute at least was during classes. 'Hopelessly romantic boy', his classmates teasingly called him. Telling how those who're slowly falling in love would lose the track of their lives and become a total mess like Epel was. Epel never said a word in opposition as he didn't want to end up telling them the story of him recklessly breaking your heart after all you'd done for him, yet it was already obvious that he didn't like this term being used for him at all.

Hopelessly romantic boy...huh?

His insomnia issues were no joke, he couldn't concentrate during classes at all. His vision was all blurry and his eyes felt heavily sleepy. Teachers kept on talking and talking while Epel just stared at the mess of words forming enormous sentences in the books until his eyes went shut. There were a few times that even teachers ended up having to shake him after the class to wake him up before sending him to the headmaster's office right away.

"Young Felmier, are you okay? You've been looking very, uh,you know, different lately"

Is he okay? He's been asking himself the same question for a while.

"Yes, Headmaster"

'I, am not okay.'

He hasn't been okay for a long while, at least he's well aware of it. But there's no point in letting anyone else know, right? Perhaps the only one who might've understood how horrible he is feeling right now... was you. Epel drowns in thoughts and memories are brought back to him:

It's been months since then, but it feels like it was just a minute ago, that he had his head on your shoulder as his warm tears soaked your clothes and his warm breath brushed against your neck. It was probably one of his worse days ever. He ran off having tears in his eyes in front of enormous people, yet not a single soul cared to come after him but you. He was a total mess when you found him under the apple tree, his face was flushed and his diamond blue eyes were filled with pain and tears. You didn't even know him much but seeing him like that, in pain and tears, Epel was no more than a stranger but for some reason...it still hurt. You couldn't take it. Accepting hugs from strangers isn't really his thing, but to be comforted right as you need nothing more than an embrace to cry on, it felt...nice.

You've been always beside him from then on, he couldn't really tell why. He was neither too strong nor too smart, he wasn't any famous or rich either. He was nothing but a random country boy who got noticed by you, the mysterious student who got widely popular throughout the school because of their bravery and strength to fight against several overblots without having any magic after a rather short time.

He often felt proud of how lucky he was to have you. It wasn't just because of how famous and adored you later became, he could tell that there was something special about you from the very beginning. You probably didn't notice but when he first met you at the enterence ceremony, he didn't realize that he'd been keeping his eyes on you all the time. He didn't know why, what could the reason be? Curiosity? A childish interest? Or... something else than these?

From the day after, he couldn't take his eyes off you. It was strange, he doesn't usually get to see someone this much around, but you...you were always there. Right in front of him.

He couldn't help but to watch silently until you walked up to him and started to chat, he can't ever forget how silly his first conversation with you went. He was stressed out whether you'd realized the way he was staring at you all this time, could be that you were offended? He was honestly expecting this to be another trouble coming his way but to his surprise, it wasn't.

Though it took a rather long time for him to finally gain full trust on you, after a while spending time with you wasn't simply something he enjoyed doing. It became a part of his daily routine. No matter what, he wanted to see you, no, he needed to see you. Make sure that you're right, that everything between you is still the same, that he'd have you by his side for another the day he won't be left all alone if anything goes wrong.

You were his reason to keep his self-esteem built-up no matter how rough life could be, you were the only one who could give him a safe shoulder to cry on and and an embrace to close his eyes through and the thought of still having you was what gave him the purpose to keep on smiling through another rough day.

Epel nails the white bedsheets as he digs his wet face harder into the pillow, trying not to scream at the pain. What has he done? Why? Why??

How could he do this to you, the person he adored and cared for the most? Yes, you lied, but so did he. He never wanted to cut ties with you. He was furious and insecure, afraid that you might've never considered him any more than an emotional fool. It scared him, he didn't want to be the idiot you'd one say leave behind without caring to let him know that you never needed him back.

He couldn't let go of you as you'd became a part of Epel himself after all this time you've been together.

He was scared of what bigger things you might've hidden from him, including your true feelings for him. What if deep inside, all you saw through him was a helpless toy to use?

Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts,...they were driving him insane.

It hurt way too much to the point of thinking that he hated you. He never did, how could he? Even if he ever ends up hating everything and everyone including himself like he does now, there's no way that he'd you. You were his everything, his happiness, his hope, his wish, his angel.

'Hopelessly romantic boy'... What if his classmates were right about him though?

Oh lord, what is wrong with him? He can no longer deny the fact that he did fall in love with you while he thought it was nothing more than a simple friendship.

Only if he'd realized this sooner, only if he could've said that he loves you instead of asking you to get out of his life, only if he could've had a second chance to hug you one more time and tell you how he truly feels...

And now, it's too late to regret what he's done. You probably hate him now, and he knows that he deserves to be hated. He was the reason of your teary eyes and sleepless nights. And he and only him, was the reason of you wanting to leave all your of your friends and your memories with them behind by making a return to your own world.

As it's clear than he doesn't deserve you and your love, he decides to let his heart burn inside the flames Epel started on his own.

Let him suffer in the name of you, his one and only love, for eternity.

It's past noon yet Epel doesn't want to get out of bed. He doesn't want to look at the clock, though he's pretty sure that you've already left his world.

He wonders...where are you right now? Back to your own world? Next to the friends and family whom you love? You sure don't remember him anymore but...are you happy? Will you now live as the happy (y/n) he'll always love without him there to hurt you again?

"Sorry (y/n), sorry..." He whispers underneath his breath. Hot tears stream down Epel's face, and he squeezes his eyelids shut in the hope his tears would stop. He sat on his bed unmoving, with his choppy breathing and watery eyes remaining for quite a while. He was so lost through his pain and sorrow that didn't hear the knock on his door at first.

"Who there?-" Epel murmurs through his tear. It's probably Rook, wanting to see why he didn't make it to school today. His door continues to be knocked on, yet Epel doesn't care to answer thr sound. Doesn't matter who the hell is at the door, he doesn't want to talk right now.

He hides his face under the blanket, can't he just cry in peace? He hears the sound of his door sliding open, but doesn't bother getting the blanket off his head. He annoyedly wraps himself tighter in bed. 'Whoever you are, just leave me alone. Please, I don't want to-'

Takes a few seconds until he feels the blanket being pulled off him, he vaguely turns his head, ready to shout: "GET LOST" at whoever his interrupter is. He opens his mouth to yell but the sight of the person standing in front of him leaves him speechless.

Your bodies remain still as your eyes are locked, neither of you move a finger until you break the silence:

"Epel..." you whisper. He looks pretty different from the last time you saw him. His face looks much paler and thinner now, and from the swelling bags under his eyes you could tell that he hasn't really been sleeping well lately. The the rage and hatred you saw last time in his eyes is now replaced with emptiness and sorrow, a severe pain that makes your heart ache for him one more time. He looks so, so broken. So lost, so sad. It hurts a lot seeing him like this, though you'd sworn never to think of him the way you used to again.

"I, I came to say goodbye-" you say nervously. What is Epel having in mind now? How is he going to respond? From the way your last conversation went you could certainly tell that he held nothing else than for you now, but you, could you be the same?

Epel didn't show up to say goodbye which was another evidence of him not wanting to see your face ever again, but something deep inside your heart, something you couldn't let go of ever after he let you down told you to come to say your very last goodbye.

Epel's eyes widen in fascination. This time, he can't hold back his tears from falling. You won't stop surprising him until the very last second, will you?

Right at the moment you are expecting him to be mad and push you back again, he throws himself into your embrace. You are about to say a word, but all you can do is to let Epel feel your warm embrace and the torrent of his tears soak through your shirt. It is too painful to see him like this.

"Wh-why...Why-are you like this-? Why did you come? Why are you still being this kind?? Why can't you just hate me!?" he painfully screams through his tears. You can feel him clench his fists, as he pushes himself closer to you. You have your emotions mixed up, you can't tell wether you should be sad or happy. But here he is, crying into your embrace like he used to do before. For a second it feels like your paths had never been torn apart, that you never got separated and he never said those words which hurt you the most.

You let him rest his head on your shoulder and run your fingers through his hair, time and time again, in an attempt you calm the silent war within his mind.

For the hundredth time, you are reminded of how much he meant to you, from the very moment you were interested in getting to know about the pale lavender-haired guy who's been secretly watching you all the time.

You remember all the times he made you laugh and that sweet smile he always put on when he greeted you in the morning, you remember each and every time that he needed your embrace to either cry or feel a bit better after the hard they he might've gone through.

You remember all the times you silently cried in bed knowing that you were slowly falling for the young boy who you genuinely held dear, that he was slowly becoming the apple of your eye.

And there he was, walking in front of you, unaware of the feelings you, young (y/n) had for him and how he was truly, the one and only for you, the apple of your eye.

Before you know it, Epel is no longer the only one crying. You hold him tighter, pushing your head to his shoulder and letting your hot tears fall off your eyes, realizing how much you've missed him after all this time. Epel doesn't pull back, instead he follows and allows your bodies to come closer and closer, until there's no space left. At the moment your bodies are close enough to become one, he's got the rhythm of your chest raising and on his body and you've got his on yours. Warm breaths brushing against each other's face that it makes it almost hard to breathe.

For a second, it feels as if you and him are the only beings on the whole world and your world is skipped inside the warmth you're drowning through right now. There's no past, no future, no pain, no feelings at all. All you know is the present you're having with him, wishing that this moment would last forever.

"I...I love you," Epel whispers, only loud enough for you to hear him under your fascinated gaze. You let out silent gasp as your head's still on the back of his shoulder.

'What did he just say..?'

Those words...those 3 forbidden words you thought you'd never him Epel them back if you ever did. Yet you kept on loving him, totally aware that he might never develop such feelings for you back.

You were supposed to make a return to your own world by now, all you'd came for was a simple goodbye to someone you were supposed to consider your ex-best friend, but you know that it would be a lie. He wasn't just your best friend, he was once your everything: Your love, your smile, your tears, your hope. Even after he bitterly told you to cut ties with him, you couldn't let go of the feeling. You felt empty without him, a life without him was clueless and dark, you felt so lost, so empty, so brokenhearted. You'd lost Epel, and never thought that you'll ever get to have him close again, let alone hearing him say that he loves you back.

And now, it's all up to you. What are you going to do now? For the first time in a while, your future now relies on nothing but your very own choice. You're caught in the middle of the path, stuck between leaving the twisted wonderland for your very own sake or staying here with Epel, in a stranger world which you don't belong to, next to the guy you once appreciated the most.

With everything you've been going through all this time, what will you choose to do? How will this story come to an end? Choosing to go and leave all the pain together with all the happiness you've been experiencing next Epel all this time behind, or letting go of the past and giving him a second to maybe lead you through a life you once dreamed to have with him?

Epel has probably got a lot more to say other than that three words, knowing that you're probably running out of time if you're going to return to your own world, next to the family and beloved ones you haven't met in forever, are you still going to stay here with Epel and allow him to talk? With all the things that he did to you and made you have a severe mental breakdown afterwards, are you still to give him your attention and love, and let him have a chance to be the apple of your eye again...?

[jemelle]

codes to a heart

derek morgan x penelope garcia

rated t // 2.2k words // one-shot

summary: Things to avoid when creating a phone password: 1. A common set of numbers. 2. Personal information that’s easily searchable. 3. The birthday of the co-worker you’ve been in love with for almost as long as you’ve known him.

(Penelope has never been one to follow advice.) 

a/n: i do not pretend to remember anything about early 2010s technology, nor did i bother to research it. unbeta’d- comments and concrit welcome!

my masterlist

read this story on ao3!

Penelope’s phone password is Derek’s birthday. She knows that it’s unsafe, is more than happy to lecture the other agents on proper cybersecurity (iLoveHenry is very cute, JJ, but it’s not exactly secure), but she just can’t seem to force herself to change it. Every time she goes to unlock her phone, she smiles, the four numbers a constant reminder of everything that Derek is to her.

The first time Derek asks what her password is, she panics. She’d been the one to hand him the phone, wanting to show him a picture of a cute dog she’d seen on her way to work that morning. But too much time must have passed since she last tapped the screen, because the next thing she knows he’s waving the black screen in front of her.

“What’s the code?” he asks, and Penelope freezes, wondering if he’ll recognize it as soon as he hears the numbers, if he’ll understand why. 

“Give it to me,” she says, holding out her hand. In response, Derek holds it above his head, out of her reach. If she didn’t love him so much, Penelope might almost be mad.

“What are you worried about, babygirl?” His tone is teasing, and Penelope doesn’t want to imagine what his reaction might be if he really knew. “Afraid I’ll find something… incriminating?”

“Just give it to me, please?” Penelope watches smugly as her puppy dog face wins him over, just as it does every time. She punches in the code, then hands it back to him, panic receding as Derek begins to coo over the photo.

-

The two of them are on their way to Rossi’s, and they’re running late. Penelope’s driving, because Derek’s car may have broken down, but she’s damned if she’ll let anyone else drive Esther.

“Tell Rossi we’ll be there in ten minutes,” she says, not taking her eyes off the road. The others have teased her for being such a cautious driver, but she can’t help it, not when she sees danger around every corner.

“Okay,” he responds.

Penelope continues driving. Beside her, she can hear Derek rummaging around, sounding increasingly irritated. When they pull up to a red light, she turns to him. Derek’s searching the footwell, but he looks up immediately, as if he can feel her gaze.

“I must have left my phone at home,” he says. Derek had called her half an hour ago, asking if she could take him to the party. Penelope had jumped at the opportunity, even though it meant going out of her way.

“You can use mine. It’s in my bag.” Her purse is in the backseat, slightly out of reach. Derek twists around to reach it, forearm grazing hers. At his touch, Penelope’s insides seem to grow tiny, fluttering wings. She shushes them firmly.

The light turns green and she presses down on the gas, sending the car into motion once more. A moment later, Derek finally finds her phone. He grabs it triumphantly before sitting back in his seat.

Penelope is a stickler for the speed limit, which is possibly the only thing that saves the both of them when Derek says: “What’s your code?”

She jolts, hitting the accelerator a little too hard. Terror rises in her throat as the resulting force presses them against their seats. Penelope makes herself ease onto the brake and take deep breaths until she can feel her heart settling.

“You okay?” Derek asks when they’ve returned to the previous speed. Penelope nods mutely.

Her heart starts up again as she remembers what he needs. She could wait for another red light, but they’re in the suburbs now, so stoplights are few and far between. She could pull over, but that seems like a gross overreaction. Penelope is a fully-grown woman. She refuses to be humbled by a crush, even if it is a crush on the best man she’s ever known.

Penelope gives him the passcode a single digit at a time. She’s almost sure he’ll know by the end, every moment taking her close to the point of no return. As she says the last number, Penelope braces for impact, not knowing what awaits her on the other side.

In the end, Derek says nothing, and she’s too scared to ask if he missed it or if he’s just trying to let her down easy.

-

Spencer, on the other hand, definitely takes notice. They’re in the bullpen, Spencer sitting on his desk while Penelope spins absentmindedly in his chair. He watches over his shoulder as she unlocks her phone, eyes narrowing in thought. She’s just tapped the final number when he opens his mouth:

“Isn’t that Mor–” Penelope claps a hand over his mouth to keep him from revealing her secret to the entire bullpen. Damn his stupidly perceptive brain. 

He’s still speaking, words muffled by her hand. Before Emily, JJ, or, god forbid, Derek can notice, Penelope takes her hand away, shooting him a warning glare. Wisely, he shuts up, at least until they’re both alone.

When the whole team breaks for lunch, Penelope drags Spencer into the nearest storage closet, ignoring his protestations.

“I love you dearly,” she whispers. “But if you say anything about this…” 

It’s not really a threat so much as it is a plea. If Spencer says anything, she’ll lose whatever dignity she still has. Penelope isn’t stupid: she’s heard what the office gossip mill has to to say about her and Derek. She’s pretty sure there’s even a pool on if and when they’ll get together. 

If this gets out, people with much less intelligence than Spencer will be able to figure out this attraction is unrequited. Her friendship with Derek, once sweet, will become pathetic. She doesn’t even allow herself to think about what Derek would say.

Spencer holds his hands up in surrender. “Your secret is safe with me.”

The fact that she didn’t even have to explain why it matters to her is one of the many, many reasons she adores Spencer Reid. As long as she cares, he cares.

On his way out of the closet, Spencer turns back to her. “He loves you, you know that?”

Of course she does. But, despite the strength of Derek’s love, he doesn’t love her the way she does, deeply and recklessly and without regard for the safety of her soul’s inner reaches.

-

It’s Penelope’s birthday, and the team has thrown her a party in the conference room. As the birthday girl, she isn’t supposed to lift a single finger, so Penelope sits in the chair of honor while the others cater to her every whim.

Earlier, JJ had slid a plastic tiara into her hair, telling Penelope she was queen for the day. Penelope couldn’t resist beaming at that, an extra bounce enfusing her step. She thinks she might make wearing one a regular habit.

Penelope’s chair, positioned as centrally as it can be, given the circular table, is decorated with a multitude of sparkly ribbons. Spencer is sitting to one side of her, but today Penelope only has eyes for Derek, who sits on her other side.

It’s magnetic, the way he moves. As she watches, Derek laughs at something Emily says, eyes crinkling and head tilting up to expose the long column of his neck. At this rate, Penelope is going to drop dead before it’s time to eat cake.

She makes it to the cake phase of the party, though not without a great deal of effort. Derek, for his part, is determined to make it as difficult as possible. As JJ brings the cake out, he rests his hand on her arm. It’s the kind of casual touch they do all the time, but today it feels like a brush of fire.

The team sings to her, voices clashing as they try to harmonize in six different keys. When they’re done, she blows out her candle, making the same wish she always does. Let the people I love stay safe. 

She looks at Derek when she’s finished, and there’s something in his gaze that makes her unable to look away. His eyes are full of love, the kind she wants to last forever. When he turns away to say something to Hotch, she makes a second, selfish wish. Let him love me the way I do.

-

The party has mostly finished by now. Emily’s begrudgingly peeling streamers down from the ceiling, having been informed by Hotch that they constitute a serious fire hazard. Derek and Penelope are standing in the corner, reluctant to return to work.

Emily exits the room, and Penelope knows they should too. The crimes don’t stop when they take a break, no matter how much she wishes they did. Penelope adjusts her tiara, steeling herself to go back to invading the lives of perfect strangers.

Derek walks her back to her office, arm around her shoulders. She leans into him, his presence an always-welcome comfort. When they reach her office, he lets go of her. She pushes open the door, turning back to look at him.

“You should probably go,” she says, and he nods. Standing there before her, he looks so earnest, so gorgeous, like everything she’s ever wanted. In her mind’s eye, she sees a million futures with him, a million timelines where he loves her back. And it’s her birthday and she’s tired of wanting, so Penelope lets herself think for a moment that those futures might be possible. 

She opens her mouth to say goodbye and that glimmer of hope intervenes.

What she means to say is I love you, the same words she’s uttered a million times to him. What comes out instead is: “I’m in love with you.”

Holy mother of all Freudian slips. She tries desperately to figure out what to say, but her mind goes blank. Her first instinct is to take it back, but her throat burns at the thought of having to pretend she doesn’t really love him.

A small part of her is relieved that it’s out in the open, but the rest of her wants to lock herself in her office for several days. Why did she have to go and fall in love with him in the first place? Why wasn’t she satisfied with what they had?

She swallows dryly, but doesn't say anything, watching Derek for his reaction. He’s staring at her, expression inscrutable. Penelope flushes, counting down the seconds until she’ll have to execute plan barricade-self-in-office. There’s only five seconds left on the clock when Derek makes his move.

“Penelope, I want to show you something.” Derek holds out his phone and she takes it, confused. Is he going to pretend that nothing happened? That’s somehow worse than anything he could say.

She turns on his phone, only to be met by the lock screen.

“What’s your password?” she asks, because she should probably say something at some point. She doesn’t quite register what she’s said until he responds.

“What do you think it is?”  he says, infinitely gentle.

Oh. Penelope slowly types in her own birthday, not quite daring to believe that might be what he means. Sure enough, his phone unlocks, opening to reveal his background, a terrible selfie they had taken together.

With some difficulty, Penelope manages to compose herself. She swallows hard. “What… what was it you wanted to show me?”

He takes the phone back from her, holding it in front of her face. “This, Penelope. Don’t pretend you don’t know what it means.”

Penelope lets out an entirely undignified squeak. Here it is, the thing she’s always wanted. Proof that Derek loves her back romantically. Every plan she had for this moment, every grand gesture, flees her head completely, heading for the next galaxy over at warp speed. She reacts instinctively, stepping closer to him until only a few inches separate them. The point of no return is receding rapidly in the distance.

Derek puts his hand under her chin, tilting her face up. Penelope thinks there might be tears in her eyes, tries to blink them away before he can see them.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, and she restrains herself from screaming ‘YES’ at the top of her lungs.

She whispers her agreement instead, almost reverently. 

He kisses her, lightly, and Penelope swears she can feel actual stars forming in her eyes. It’s everything she’s ever dreamed of, only her dreams could never measure up to reality, the way Derek pulls back slightly, running his thumb along her bottom lip before kissing her again.

This time, they break away only when air becomes a necessity. Penelope rests her head on his chest, delighting in the knowledge that if there are more more journeys to make, more challenges to conquer, she won’t be alone. Truth be told, she’s never been alone as long as she had him.

Above her, Derek lets out a startled, “Hey!”

Penelope looks up, following his gaze to where Emily is standing, holding up her own phone, streamers dangling from her other hand. When she notices them watching her, Emily gives them a wave.

“Sorry!” she says, not sounding sorry at all. “I need proof for the pool.”

Usually, Penelope would march over and make Emily delete those photos, but today, she couldn’t care less. Instead, she leans up to Derek, grin so broad it could split her face in two, and pulls him in for another kiss.

taglist: @elleroodles, @lizziechase, @blakes-dictionxry

[insertdeeplyrics]

On the ending of Supernatural

Hi, I’ve never actually posted anything on Tumblr of my own creation (I mostly reblog stuff), but I’ve just seen the ending of Supernatural, and given that this is where I’ve been fed my SPN content, it felt right to share my thoughts here. I’m sure nobody is going to read this, but whatever, I just need to get this out of my chest. Sorry in advance if this is too long, but I have to type this out if I want to move on.

I still need to take some time to process everything that’s happened, because it is a lot. I did have my hopes up for the finale, thinking that Cas would at least show up, but like many of the fans, I was let down.

So I guess that would be the first issue I had with the episode. Regardless of what Dean felt towards Cas, if he reciprocated his feelings or not (which he totally did, I mean, we have all been watching the same show for 12 fucking years, and if you don’t believe me, there are plenty of metas that would support this statement), he still is his best friend and it doesn’t sit right with me the fact that he doesn’t even try to find a way to rescue Cas from the Empty. And okay, maybe he didn’t, make Cas got resurrected by Jack, then why the hell wasn’t he on the final episode? He was a pivotal character for the series, I mean, the proof is in the ratings: Season 7, when he was killed off to apparently never return, the ratings were at their lowest. The show may have started as just Dean and Sam, but over the years it became much bigger than them, and it is so disappointing that the show runners failed to acknowledge it. But I’ll get back to this point later.

Okay, I need to talk about Dean’s death, the only part of the episode that made me cry, because my poor baby had to suffer so much! Like, when he started saying that Sam never put up with John’s crap (which reinforces my headcanon that John was abusive towards the boys) and how much he admired him for it, my heart just shattered. I just love Dean Winchester so freaking much, and they did him so dirty... Don’t get me wrong, Jensen and Jared’s acting was 10/10, like, I thought I had a grip of myself and then Sam started crying and tears came back to my eyes. Nonetheless, I felt that the scene was so freaking long! I mean, Dean was dying, and he had time to make a 10 minutes-long speech! C’mon! Also, I get that Sam and Dean’s relationship is quite deep and strong and whatever, but I felt a bit unconformable watching it: it didn’t feel like a brotherly goodbye, more like a lover’s one. They were too touchy and intimate, and, overall, their relationship from this point on was coded as a romantic one, in my opinion. And Chuck, did I hate it! I have an older brother and I know what it is like to be close to your sibling and to love him more than anything else in the world, but the way they portrayed their relationship on this last episode felt incest-y, which makes me believe that this scene was originally written with another character in mind (cough CAS cough) or the writers don’t know the difference between romantic and brotherly love. To finish off, the way they killed off Dean??? I mean, I did expect Dean to die, but this was such a horrible and ridiculous way to go... I would have accepted it if he died actually fighting, but impaled??? After all he’s been through, after fighting so many demons, angels and deities, that’s how he dies??? That just felt cheap and rushed. Dean did not deserve that ending and I refuse to accept it. In fact, I refuse to acknowledge the existence of this whole fucking mess of an episode. Also, I just can’t believe that no one showed up to Dean’s funeral. I just can’t. I get that maybe it was difficult to bring in a lot of actors due to the pandemic, but they could have added them on post-production...

Next, we have Sam’s ending. He quits hunting and finally obtains his white-picket fence life. I did like the fact that he honored all of his friends and family that he lost along the way, especially Dean. Like, yes, if my brother died, I would like to keep a token (don’t know if that’s the actual word for it, my first language is not English), to have something with me that reminded me of him and to have him with me wherever I go. And I did like that he named his son Dean, in honor of his brother. However, we don’t know how he met his wife, we don’t even know who she is. They set up Sameileen for what?? Like, Sam and Eileen deserved better, tbh. And, again, even with Covid restrictions they could have done something to signal that Sam got married to Eileen, you don’t need the actor there. In fact, we never actually found out what happened to her, and just like I can’t believe that Dean didn’t even try to save Cas from the Empty, I can’t believe that Sam didn’t reach out to Eileen. Furthermore, the montage with his son felt cheap and a way to try to appeal to the audience’s emotions... (Btw, as a side note, the grey wig and the glasses, my god, they did Jared dirty 😂😂). But it wasn’t doing it for me, I didn’t care much for the kid, and while I do believe that was always going to be Sam’s ending, I didn’t like how it was executed.

And the worst part of it all: that suuuuuper long scene with Dean driving in Heaven, waiting for Sam. They could have used that time to show something more meaningful, even to develop a bit more Sam’s new life, how he adjusted to domesticity and fatherhood and all that crap. Or, I don’t know, A TEAM FREE WILL 2.0 REUNION??? And I guess this is my biggest issue with the whole episode. I get it, Sam and Dean are the central characters, the ones that started it all, but family don’t end with blood, and they were not the only ones who deserved a goodbye. They had formed so many bonds and friendships over the years, and to not have them address them on the final episode just feels infuriating. Especially Cas. His arc was not finished, he deserved to be on the finale. We never got Dean’s reaction to his confession, we don’t know how he felt about him, nor did Cas get to say goodbye to any other character. How did he get out of the Empty? What is he doing now? Is he still an angel? Also, he gave his life to save Dean, only for Dean to be killed not long after. My headcanon that is helping me cope with Dean’s death is thinking that he was so quick to accept his death because he was hoping to reunite in Heaven with Castiel. A girl can dream, ok??? But also, what about Jack? He is the new God, but I highly doubt it that he won’t drop by the Bunker from time to time, after all, Sam and Dean (AND CAS, ESPECIALLY CAS) raised him. And Charlie? Did she get back with Stevie? Did she and the boys go for drinks from time to time? And Jody? Donna? Claire? Sorry to be so repetitive, but I just can’t understand why the writers thought that these characters weren’t important enough to deserve a spot on the finale, and not just an off-hand mention (and not even all of them got that). Of course, the brothers are the main characters and their goodbye must be the longest and the most emotional of them all, but like I said before, the show stopped being just about the Winchesters on season 3, when Bobby was first introduced, maybe even 4, with Cas.

Overall, the finale left a lot of questions unanswered, most of them regarding secondary characters (but not less important for that!), completely destroyed Sam and Dean’s character development (Dean never got to be free, like he had been fighting for all season, probably all his life; Sam’s development is non-existing, as he ended up as he would’ve if he never had gotten on that hunting trip with Dean 15 years ago), and completely disregarded all the themes they had been setting up this season, probably on previous ones as well. It is sad knowing that the writers, either don’t know the show good enough to give it a proper goodbye, or they just didn’t care to do so. I don’t know who’s to blame here (definitely not the actors, though, probably someone higher up the chain), but I just know that I am so fucking disappointed. I expected more from the last episode of a 15-season TV show, one that has been part of my life for 7 years. I guess, that despite all of it, I can’t hate Supernatural. Maybe I was not a hardcore fan like some people on this site, but I did care for the characters and what happened to them. This is the show that introduced me to the world of shipping (Destiel will always hold a special place in my heart, it doesn’t matter how badly their relationship was treated, as well as the characters) and I got to discover one of my favorite characters, Dean Winchester. He is just such so complex, one that I relate to on so many levels, and his relationship with Cas has been the source of many short stories that I’ve never posted anywhere, but that have made me take up writing again. That’s the reason why I love the show so much, it has helped me tap into my creativeness and go back to writing, a passion of mine that I seem to have forgotten over the years. Anyways, maybe one day I’ll publish some of those stories, and maybe even write my own fix-it fanfic, but right now, I can’t deal with anything that has to do with the show, I am too hurt. Maybe once the five stages of grief are over, I might give it a try and read all of the amazing codas and fanfics that I’m sure will be posted here or on AO3. But for now, Supernatural is dead and gone, and I don’t want to talk nor think about it anymore. I’m done wasting my time here, because I feel like that’s what I’ve been doing this past 7 years after watching this crap of a finale.

To finish this long rant off, I just want to say thank you to some meta-writers, the true heroes of the fandom. Thanks to them, I carried on watching the show, because they made me have hope that things will get better. They are the ones that have made this experience worth something, and even though I’ve never spoken to any of them, I see you and I love you. Thanks for everything ❤. 

@tinkdw @charlie-minion @dotthings @heliodean @verobatto-angelxhunter @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover

[berrydoodleoo]

FFXIVWrite 2021: foster

“Well, my dear.” Master Matoya stepped past Y’shtola to look at the new crater in her underground lab. She’d stopped it from filling with water via a handy spell, but repairing the ruined brick and pipes was going to be a more physical sort of challenge. “Regardless of what stories Mr. Kribbet has been telling about my memory, I certainly won’t be forgetting about you anytime soon.” Matoya paused thoughtfully. “I don’t think I’ve ever had any student who was such an unmitigated disaster.”

Green eyes hidden by her sodden white bangs, Y’shtola growled under her breath and stomped a foot indignantly. Her wet shoe made a little squish.

Matoya rounded on her, quick as a snake. “And what was that, Y’shtola?”

Her last student, some twenty-odd years past, would have been scrambling at her tone. Y’shtola simply glared out from under her bangs. “Nothing, Master Matoya.”

“What was that? Hm? Can’t hear you when you mumble.” Matoya poked her with her walking stick.

Y’shtola batted it away indignantly. “I didn’t say anything!”

Technically true. Well, her lab might be ruined, but the girl’s spirit was certainly intact. And she had other labs.

“I think I will put you to studying white magic, for a time,” Matoya finally concluded. “At least you’re less likely to blow the roof off the place that way. When you’re grown and safe in your own lab, you can practice more destructive magics at your leisure.”

She turned, and found the girl gaping at her, eyes gone shiny. “What’s this, then?” Matoya demanded, startled.

“Then…” Y’shtola took a deep breath. “Then I can stay? I can -- I can still be your student?”

Matoya regarded her silently. The girl was barely an adolescent, still young and insecure, lost in her herd (or should that be pack?) of older, talented sisters. Perhaps her insecurity, hidden though it was, wasn’t such a surprise. A bit of careful tutelage might help with that, Matoya mused -- tutelage, yes, nothing else, certainly not parenting. Even if her young, overlooked student could benefit from it.

“Provided you do one thing for me.” Matoya stepped forward smoothly. “You almost drowned here, you know. That whirlpool would have sucked you under and held you till you’d stopped kicking if not for my timely arrival.”

Y’shtola withdrew into herself, but only momentarily: “Just tell me what I need to do! I’ll do it!” She stood tall, only her lashing tail betraying her uncertainty. “Is it the spell? Do I need to master the spell? I almost had it--”

“Quiet,” Matoya interrupted. Y’shtola fell silent. “No, it’s not the spell. It’s not my job to teach you forbidden spells, girl, just to fish you out when you go falling in. And if you’re going to keep learning forbidden spells -- and I can see by the light in your eyes that you are -- you need to learn something much, much more valuable than magic.”

Matoya held out her hand. With the other, held behind her back, she summoned the Crystal Eye and drew upon its bottomless strength. Her extended hand shone briefly with silver light, a small shield spell that was powerful enough to make Y’shtola recoil. When the light faded, the girl looked at her questioningly, and then took her aged hand in her small brown one.

“You are going to learn to hold on,” Matoya informed her grimly. “Not just with your hands, but your whole self. All your magic, and all your soul. Beyond all good sense and reason. If you can hold tightly enough to break my shield, I’ll keep you as my student.”

Of course, it was a trick. No amount of effort a child could bring to bear would shatter a shield from the Crystal Eye. But as the girl gripped Matoya’s hand with both of hers, ears flattening and tail puffing as she summoned all of her physical strength and the impressive might of her magic, Matoya figured the trying would teach her a valuable lesson nonetheless.

(When the shield shattered, it left small scratches on the aether in Matoya’s hand, like little bolts of lightning carved into her bones. A careful spell or two, a little mental effort, and they would probably buff right out.

But she kept them anyway. As a reminder.)

~

Thancred had grown accustomed to rough-and-tumble on the streets of Limsa Lominsa. He’d fought his way to the top of his gang and led an attack on the meanest group of slavers the pirate city had even seen before his sixteenth birthday. He was used to tough going.

This … this was something else.

Louisoix snapped his fingers, and with a musical chime, the winds buffeting Thancred fell away. Thancred himself narrowly avoided landing fast-first in the mud, ending up on one knee instead. Panting, he sank back on his haunches.

“Not bad,” his … friend? Mentor? Teacher? Foster father? said. “You got much closer that time. However, I,” he jingled the bells in his left hand, “appear to be the victor once more.”

Thancred couldn’t help but grin ruefully, staring up at the string of golden bells. “Yes, Master Leveilleur,” he agreed. With a grunt, he pushed himself laboriously to his feet, until he could offer a proper bow to his sparring partner. “Maybe next time.”

The old man’s mouth quirked in a crooked smile. “Hope springeth eternal,” he agreed, sounding rather like Urianger. Both Louisoix and Thancred looked to the edge of the field, where Louisoix’s other student awaited his own duel; even from this distance, Thancred could see him fidgeting nervously.

“Hm, well, what lesson shall I impart today?” Louisoix wondered. Thancred stood at attention, waiting patiently. “I believe you’ve heard them all this point. You certainly don’t need the one about persistence in the face of failure.”

Thancred winced. Louisoix didn’t mean it as a barb, he was certain, but it landed like one nonetheless.

“No, not that one. Nor the one about the tree that bends, or the thrush that survives, or honor like an oasis in the desert.”

Louisoix dipped his chin in a nod. Thancred’s face heated, embarrassed and pleased, and he looked away. Everyone else in Sharlayan might see him a shiftless thief, and those who knew his story saw only an arrogant rogue who’d gotten his gang killed, but Louisoix knew what it had all been for. One day the Upright Thieves would stand tall again.

“No, none of that.” Louisoix pocketed his bells, and came forward to rest his hand on Thancred’s bowed head. “Perhaps I will simply say … never stop. Never hesitate. Never look back.” He thought back to the end of their duel, and imparted a bit of strategic advice: “And always be a moving target.”

~

E-Sumi-Yan lowered the old book as he reached the end of the passage. His students -- orphans and foundlings whom he’d helped raise since they were smaller than him, all of whom (even Nanayepi!) would now stand taller than if they weren’t kneeling respectfully -- waited in silence.

“For a time,” the head of the Conjurer Guild said, “this chapter of I-Ohok-Pota’s tale was censored from common texts, as it was believed to cast the Padjal in a dishonorable light. With it’s unearthing came much questioning of Stillglade Fane and the nature of the Light that powers our White Magic. Quite recently, there were even fears that the white mages could be corrupted and turned to monsters. It was within my lifetime, certainly.” He paused. “Perhaps not so recently, then.”

A gentle murmur of laughter trickled through the crowd. E-Sumi-Yan turned suddenly, picking someone from the crowd. “K'selh? Your thoughts?”

K'selh jumped at being so suddenly addressed. “I-- I--”

E-Sumi-Yan beckoned encouragingly. “Please be honest, K'selh. This is a safe space.”

“I … it’s only, stories like that.” K'selh paused. “They really make me question if I’m cut out to be a conjurer! I could never make a choice like that! I … I don’t mean to seem ungrateful to the Guild or the Elementals….”

E-Sumi-Yan nodded. “I understand. Of course, none of you are beholden to the Guild. We offer you this training to help you find your place in the world, not to trap you within the walls of the Fane, or the Shroud. If the conjurer’s path does not speak to you, it would be unwise to embark upon it.” He paused.

“I cannot lie,” he said, haltingly, his seemingly-boyish voice slower and darker than usual. “Such choices come often to our ilk. But we must remember that our lives are given in service to the Light and the common good. Sometimes we must let one perish in order to save the rest.” His eyes closed, and he looked very much like a child. “We do what we must, because there is no one else to do it for us.”

The pause stretched. Attempting to shake the darkness away, E-Sumi-Yan looked up, and it was by sheer coincidence that his and Talia’s gazes locked.

Talia blinked, startled, but didn’t flinch away. Unlike some of her other instructors, E-Sumi-Yan didn’t try to force her to speak in class -- he had an uncanny knack for only calling upon those who felt a need to speak and simply needed encouragement. He seemed almost as startled as she, his silvery eyes briefly unfocused, lips parting on some unheard word.

And then he blinked and looked away. The moment, like so many others before it, passed without a word.

“The next passage begins when the last left off,” E-Sumi-Yan said. He lifted the book, and continued reading.

~

Minfilia says goodbye to the twins and Y’shtola at Mord Souq, before she, Urianger, Thancred, and the Warriors of Darkness go their own way. Alisaie gives her a would-be casual hug, trying to hide her worry; Alphinaud stops frowning thoughtfully at her long enough to force a timid smile and wish her luck.

Y’shtola stands a bit aside, in a little pocket of shadow, blind eyes peering thoughtfully into the endless light. She beckons Minfilia closer, apart from the others.

“And have you made your choice?” Y’shtola asks, without preamble.

Minfilia glances aside, picking at a seam of her gloves. “I -- I … almost.”

Y’shtola’s eyes narrow, her expression fierce as the wind whips her hair too and fro. Minfilia says nothing more. On one hand, the urge to babble is strong --  to let all the uncertainty and agony come pouring out, to desperately hope that someone, anyone, will talk her out of her fate. On the other hand, she can already feel her chin wobbling, and knows if she says anything more she’ll start to cry.

“I see.” Y’shtola straightens. “Minfilia,” she starts, and then hesitates, brow furrowing. “No, that’s not ... I wish we knew your birth name, but I suppose it’s too late for that. And Minfilia is a good name. One you have certainly been worthy of.” She nods, decisive. “Minfilia.”

Minfilia takes a careful breath, only a little sniffle-y, and comes to attention.

“Whatever choice you make, make it with all your heart. Whatever doubts assail you, hold onto your decision with all your strength. I believe there is no end to the things you can do, if only you persist in the doing them.” Blind eyes bore into hers, seeming to peer into her small, unworthy soul. “Do you understand?”

Minfilia blinks back her tears, and tries for a smile. “Yes, Master Matoya.”

Y’shtola flinches and averts her face, suddenly sorrowful. But there’s no time to apologize; Minfilia’s destiny awaits.

~

“But what about you?” Minfilia cries.

Thancred unhooks his gunblade. “Keep moving,” he orders her. “Keep your eyes on your target, and let nothing stop you. No matter what you hear behind you.” He hesitates, head bowing, and for a moment Minfilia thinks she might see her noble knight weep.

He turns away, voice gone choked. “And don’t look back.”

~

The air is quiet and hushed, where Minfilia -- the real Minfilia, not a pretender like her -- stopped the Flood and saved them all. “Whatever happens,” Minfilia whispers to Tally and Vahn, “you mustn't interfere.”

Vahn is plainly heartbroken, expression ravaged, but he nods. It’s Tally whose brow crumples in fierce anger, who kneels and pulls her into a hug. Hard enough to hurt. Minfilia’s composure, which has carried her through so much, falters and breaks at last. For just a moment, Minfilia hides her face in Tally’s white robes -- soft white, not cold and bright like the Light that surrounds them, comfortable and worn -- and searches for the determination and cunning Y’shtola and Thancred told her she had.

My friends, comes the Oracle’s voice, the Word of the Mother, like music. Minfilia gasps, struck by the familiar melody, and turns to find Minfilia -- the real Minfilia -- descending from the air to alight on the ground. She is barefoot and smiling, and it hurts to look at her, for all that she is less bright than everything else around her. Her terrible, shining eyes linger on Tally and Vahn for a long, long moment, her lips curving in a sad smile.

“I knew I could count on you,” the Oracle says to them. And then, at last, she directs her attention to her heir. She holds out her hands.

And Minfilia -- Minfilia steps forward, timid at first, and then with greater assurance -- she rushes forward to meet her, laughing in her amazement -- they are so similar! as if Minfilia was her mother in truth, and not just in her imaginings -- and for the first time Minfilia thinks she might be able to be brave, to go out into the world and be unafraid. And she knows she has made her choice at last.

[stellar-imagines]

SCENARIO REQUEST: ❝a silent voice.❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Bakugou Katsuki ] 

「Scenario of Bakugou, Midoriya and Reader who were childhood friends and one day, Bakugo loses his temper and sets off a loud explosion causing Reader to lose her hearing. Years later they meet at UA and Bakugo didn’t know about the hearing loss before she introduced herself in class.」

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

“I’m deaf.” those were the words you wrote when it came to your turn to introduce yourself to Class 1-A

Bakugou had thought you looked oddly familiar. Standing in front of his classroom, fiddling with your UA uniform with a few other people he don't recognize, lined up next to you. Aizawa went ahead and introduced the Support Course students who will be working with the Hero Course students for a special assignment. The ash blonde didn't seem that excited to be working with someone he barely knew. Heck, he never liked group projects to begin with anyway. When the pairs were being announced, the ash blonde kind of waited until he heard your name to be called because he wanted to know if you were someone he knew before.

"Bakugou Katsuki and [Last Name] [First Name]."

Now that he heard your name, he recalled being in the same class as you were back in the first year of Middle School. Bakugou couldn't remember properly because it was such a long time ago but he recalled that you, along with Midoriya were childhood friends. You had to move to Osaka because of your father's company moving headquarters or something along those lines. Since the end of first year in Middle School, he hasn't seen you nor contacted you. He remembered you at the girl who stuck by his side like glue, admiring his quirk just like Midoriya.

When you approached Bakugou, you gave him a nervous smile, offering a handshake. The guy grunts and looks away as Aizawa and Power Loader went on to explain the assignment involving the two classes. It was a fairly simple assignment, the Support Course students were to design an support item for their assigned student whereas the Hero Course students have to utilitize the support item in their battle with other students. It's nothing too difficult as Support Course students often made their own items during their free time. Just after the class was dismissed, Bakugou watched as you gave him a small wave and walked away.

"[Nickname]! It's been a long time." Midoriya had approached you, much to Bakugou's surprise.

"[Nickname]?" Bakugou muttered to himself. It didn't take long for him to actually remember that you were one of his so-called childhood friends, someone who tagged along with him back when he was much younger.

He knew you but at the same time he didn’t. You weren’t the meek quirkless girl back then who didn’t have friends to hang out with except for him and Midoriya. Bakugou finds your behavior a bit weird and creepy. You refused to speak to him whenever you see him and when it comes to discussion, you’d both just text each other. How you got his number was surprising but he soon learned that you had asked his classmates. It would’ve been much faster if you asked him directly. He did mention that to you but you relied with overhearing that he didn’t like giving away his contact number to just anyone. You had a point there but this was different.

Working with you wasn't as difficult as he thought it would be. You were very open to new ideas and had no trouble telling him outright that there were things that you couldn't do or things that just can't work. Bakugou was on his way to your workshop when you told him that you finished a prototype for him to try out in the training gym. You wanted to record a few things along with his feedback. On his way, he spotted Midoriya and you talking but from his perspective, it seemed like Midoriya was the one doing most of the talking. From a distance he could see Midoriya speaking while making hand gestures. It didn’t seem like you were talking that much though but it was a given since you’re deaf.

It so happens that Bakugou was supposed to pass through this very hallway to get to your workshop. You waved a goodbye to the green haired boy before jogging towards your workshop. 

”Why the fuck are you gesturing your hands so much you nerd? It’s not like she’s a fucking kid.” Bakugou grumbled when you were finally out of sight.

”K-Kacchan!?” Midoriya jumped slightly, surprised at the ash blonde’s sudden appearance.

”Damn girl. Who the fuck does she think she is? Does she think I’m going to learn sign language for her sake? How did she even end up like that to begin with?” Bakugou wondered out loud.

“You mean.....y-you don’t know?” the shorter boy’s expression was a mix of surprise and confusion.

”Know what now?”

He felt guilt twisting the insides of his stomach when Midoriya spilled everything to him. He didn't realize that loud explosion had caused you to go deaf. At that time, he was super pissed at Midoriya for standing up to him and acting like a know-it-all. He recalled you jumping between the two males to stop the dispute but alas Bakugou had let out a loud explosion and rang in our ears so horribly that caused you to collapse onto your knees. He assumed that you were overreacting when you cried and held your ears, calling you both weak and a waste of time before leaving the two of you alone. It was the end of his first year in middle school and you had moved before he knew what happened with you.

“[Nickname] lost her hearing before she moved. When you used your quirk last time, it completely damaged her ear.”

"Oi." Bakugou spotted you walking in the hallway, carrying a box filled with his equipment in it. Now that he's standing right in front of you, he couldn't faintly make our the burn mark by your ear that was undoubtedly his doing. You tilted your head, wondering what he wanted from you. The guy motioned you to hand over you items which roused more confusion.

"Hand it over." he said. You blinked a few times, wondering what's with the sudden change of heart. You weren't sure what to do when he just took the box out of your hands and began walking. You stood there in silence, opening your mouth to speak but stopping midway. You can no longer remember how your voice even sounded like and had a feeling Bakugou will mock you for it so you stayed quiet.

He stopped all of a sudden when he didn’t see you follow him. Bakugou turned around and make a gesture, telling you to come over. You followed without any hesitation and stood by his side. He grabbed your hand, causing you to jolt in surprise before gazing up at him as if to see what he was trying to do.

”I don’t know if you can hear me or not but I won’t fucking let go because I won’t know if you disappeared or something.” he muttered. You blinked a few times as Bakugou began dragging you towards the direction of Gym Gamma.

Looking at your joined hands, you found yourself reminiscing the times you said his hands were special as it was the source of his quirk. It was warm, big and calloused from training. Even though he may be the reason why you don’t have the confidence to speak and proper hearing, he’s still someone you looked up to. Bakugou was not a bad person and this just proves it right. Even after this whole project ended, the two of you still keep in touch with one another. 

You bumped to him in the hallways quite often and you would give him a small smile and wave at him. Bakugou would respond in his own way, giving you a glance and nodding his head. This time round, the two of you were with our own respective friends. You waved at them but it was meant for Bakugou. The other guys, Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero waved back and said hello to you while Bakugou did the usual. Your own friends greeted the group of boys with a brief good morning. Once you were about to walk away, Bakugou stopped right in front of you which caused you to do the same.

Bakugou briefly signed a goodbye to you which was quite surprising because you never knew that he learned sign language. Then again, the two of you never actually talked besides through texting. You find yourself smiling and signing the same thing before jogging over to your friends. Bakugou finds himself avoiding your gaze as he signs something again. The guy left right after you wave a small nod of acknowledgement.

”Whatcha signing over there with [Last Name]?”

”Is it some secret code or something?”

”Hah? We’re not 10 year olds, you idiot.” Bakugou scoffed.

”Since when did you and that Bakugou guy get so friendly with each other?”

In response, you shrugged and hid your blushing cheeks from your friends.

Go out with me on Saturday.

Was what Bakugou had signed before you two went your separate ways.

Total: 1566 words Published: 05.05.2020

Thank you for requesting! ｡٩(ˊᗜˋ)و*｡ Hello people, it’s the third week of online classes and I feel like it’s been a decade. ― author Lou

Thank you for requesting! We’re both suckers for Silent Voice? But we can’t do something as amazing at that.― author Natsuki

Requests are closed for now! Matchups are closed!

Please do not mind the grammar mistakes and typos.

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

Chapter Four. See You Soon

the scene is set in 1956, a young man moved to Hollywood to follow his dreams of becoming an actor. But with little money and a struggle to keep his apartment, he is approached by a man who offers him a job at Sweetland

a/n: when I say I cried while writing this........pls just read it for yourself.....my heart is broken, and be prepared for the angst

SERIES MASTERLIST | JOIN THE TAGLIST chapter word count: 12.8k

warnings: whole lot of angst, whole lot of smut

LETS CHAT ABOUT CN! let me know your thoughts pls!

pls rb to share! <3

It was early Wednesday morning when Harry had gotten a call on his home phone. The loud ringing startled him from his slumber, making him nearly fall out of his bed. But he quickly got up, and padded over to his phone; bare feet hitting the ground. 

“ ‘Lo?” His raspy voice was heard on his end as he didn’t even get a chance to clear it. 

“Hi, Harry. It’s Shareen,” he heard on the other end, making his eyes widen. 

“Hi, Shareen. Can you give me a second please?” Shareen chuckled and said sure as Harry covered the speakerphone before he cleared his throat numerous times and ran a hand through his hair, which he thought was ridiculous seeing as she’s through a telephone and not in front of him. “Uh, h-hello?” 

“You okay, Harry?” Shareen asked. 

“Yes, I’m doing good. How are you, Shareen?” 

“I’m lovely, thank you, dear. I just wanted to call you and let you know…”

Harry was listening to Shareen with wide eyes and excitement. It felt like he was completely dreaming. He had to pinch himself a few times to bring him back from the cloud and back to reality. He really couldn’t believe the news, but he understood every word she said. 

“Thank you so much! I’ll see you Friday,” he said excitedly, bidding Shareen a goodbye before hanging up the phone. 

Harry took a minute to process the news before he a wide smile was planted on his face as he screamed out a series of ‘yes’, punching his fist up into the air as he got teary eyed; way to early for seven in the morning, but he was wide awake as soon as he heard the news. 

After his little celebration of excitement, he picked up his phone again, rotating the dial to the academy’s number. He immediately asked for you to the person, who he assumed was the front desk, on the other end. 

You were teaching your seven a.m to twelve p.m class again as you did on Mondays and Wednesdays as you watched your young class stretch their limbs out until Susan from the front desk entered your classroom.  

“Hey, you have a call at the front,” she said from the doorway with a smile and tired morning smile. 

“Did they say who they were?” You asked her. 

“No, but it seemed urgent. I’ll watch the class for you while you take the call?” She suggested, and you nodded your head, giving her a thanks before walking out of your classroom and to the front desk. 

There were about two people you thought of when you walked towards the front. Your father was out of the question as he doesn’t call you for anything nor do you pick up any of his calls. There was Chris, but he rarely even called you when you two were together anyways. And lastly, there was Harry. 

It’s been two weeks since you saw Harry for the second time, and within those two weeks, you saw him again for four times more. 

When you were dropping him off back home, you had given him your home phone, but told him not to call during certain hours when your parents were home, and you had given him the studio’s number as well. He was proper excited as he received your numbers in your handwriting; practically jumping on the balls of his feet by your car as he told you he was going to call you when you got home. And he did. Luckily, no one was home by the time you arrived and you were fortunate enough to have a two hour conversation with Harry as you sat in the bathtub, talking about everything and anything—likes and dislikes, funny childhood stories, and favorite memories. 

“When I was about six, my mum took me to the park with my sister. It was something so simple as a picnic, and we would just eat together and she would bring some board games for all of us to play. Then she would push Gemma and I on the swing, and ride the slide all together. That’s probably my favorite memory,” he said with a smile on his face from the other end. A bright smile was brought to your face as you pictured a small Harry having a great time with his family. 

“Do you miss home? Holmes Chapel and NewYork?” You suddenly asked, knowing he moved to New York when he was a teenager. 

“Yeah, I do—a bit. I mean, my childhood was in England and my family is New York. But my dream is here, in Hollywood. It was a lot to give up, and it was definitely the hardest thing I had to do—to leave them. I miss them a lot…” he trailed off sadly. 

You took in everything he said, giving him some time to recuperate from his feelings. It was the first time he had ever shared something as deep as his family, and you appreciated his openness as you thanked him for sharing his story and how he feels. 

And he was opening up to you, which you liked, but you would have to do the same too—because you wanted to tell him things as well. 

“Can I ask you something?” He said. The water from your bath had already cooled down and it was starting to become cold, but you had stayed a bit longer to just talk to Harry. 

“Yeah, anything,” you replied. 

“Why do you only do ballet? You mentioned that you’ve only done ballet ever since you were little. You’ve never tried the others?” He asked slowly, and a bit of hesitancy was in his voice, not knowing if it was too personal or crossing the line for questions. “You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to,” he added. 

“No, no. It’s okay to ask those things. But it was simply because my parents didn’t allow me—they said the others were too sloppy, so they only put me in ballet,” you sighed sadly over the phone. 

“Oh…do you like what you’re doing? Are you happy?” Harry asked, wanting to make sure you were content with life and your job at the moment. 

“I mean…yeah. I love dance and teaching and my students, but I just wished I explored more, y’know? It’s good to explore in the dance department, but my parents didn’t understand that. So, they pushed me to do ballet all the way up until college,” you explained. 

“What did you study in college?” 

You chuckled, more as it came out as a scoff. “I studied dance. I have my Bachelor’s in Fine Arts, and for a short period of time, I was able to take classes for jazz and contemporary, and I absolutely loved it. A year before I graduated, I got the job at the studio where I used to dance when I was younger. I just stumbled in there to say hi to everyone with my friends, and they just so happened to be looking for some new teachers,” you smiled, remembering that day you got offered the job, and you, Frances, and Alice were so excited. 

“Do you wish you could be doing something else?” He asked. 

“I wanted to be a journalist. Maybe work for the newspaper or in broadcast…I don’t know. That dream is long gone now,” you said softly, telling him your biggest dream. You’ve always had a fascination with writing and reading; it was something you enjoyed. But your parents threw that out the window the second you mentioned it to them. They told you how it’s a lot of work and that you should stick to something you were already good at, hence: ballet. 

As you picked up the phone from the front desk, placing it to your ear, you heard movement; footsteps were heard from the other side. 

“Hello?” You suddenly said, and fast movements were made on the other line. 

“Oh, sweet girl, thank god!” 

“Honey, hi,” you said, smiling as you practically heard him smile through the phone from his pet name. 

“I have some very exciting news!” 

“At seven in the morning? You’re never up this early,” you joked, and you heard him chuckle. 

“I know right! But I got a phone call from Shareen—one of the casting directors-”

“Oh my god-”

“They called me back in for another audition! Can you believe that?! I’m going back! But this time, she said I’m doing a screen test, so I’ll be in front of the camera,” he excitedly told you. 

“Harry, that’s amazing!” You slightly jumped in joy, truly being so excited for him. 

“I know it’s not the official role, but this has to mean something, right? They called me back again,” he said hopefully, wanting some reassurance from specifically you. There was something about talking to you that made him feel safe, and like he wanted to share everything with you. Hence why he called you at the beginning of your class. 

“Yes! That is definitely a good sign. You’ll do great, Harry. When and what time is it at?” You reassured him. 

“Friday at 8 in the morning. Luckily, I wouldn’t have to call off, so I still have work at 12,” he sighed deeply. 

You two hadn’t talked much about Sweetland, only keeping it minimal to ‘how was work?’ Although, he had told you the amount of customers he’s had throughout the month and a little more he’s been there, and it was just under ten—exactly six to which you were surprised because you had thought he had more customers. But he had told you that Daren rarely gave him customers and he had just worked in the back, but he didn’t mind in all honesty because of the simple fact that he wouldn’t nearly be as interested in them as he was in you. 

And the only reason Daren did this was because when Harry had told him about his crush on you, he respected that because it may seem weird to pin after someone when they’re sleeping around still. 

“Okay, I’ll pick you up at 4?” You asked, hoping you would get to hang out with him again, and you wanted to hear all about his screen test as well. 

“Yeah, I’d like that. I’ll see you then.” 

There was a bit of a silence that fell through the phone, neither one of you wanted to hang out, but Susan came back to check on you, and that’s when you had to tell him that you had to go. 

“I’ll see you Friday, Harry,” you told him. 

“See you Friday,” he smiled excitedly. 

Before you hung up, you spoke again, “Oh, and goodluck, honey.” 

“Thank you, sweet charm,” he said before hanging up. 

Sweet charm…that was a new one, you thought. But you loved it either way. 

Harry worked anxiously for the next two days, thankfully, he was not given any customers for those two days. He told Daren immediately once he walked into the shop, and he was ecstatic for him. 

“Kid, that’s great! How do you feel?” Daren asked, leaning on the counter. 

“Good—I think. A little nervous…” Harry chuckled slightly, keeping his nerves intact as he scooped up some gummy bears from the storage bins into the jars. 

“That’s understable. But hey, it’ll all be fine. Take that from someone who was in your shoes,” Daren reassured him. 

“Really? You wanted to become an actor too?” 

“Hell, everyone and their dogs wanted to become a star. I just so happened to not make it very far, but I’m okay with that.” 

“Do you mind telling me the story?” Harry asked. 

“It’s a short story, but sure. Well, I was born in Hollywood and knew I wanted to become an actor when I was a kid. When I was twenty, I auditioned for some roles, only to be rejected because they said I was too young, but that’s a load of bullshit,” Daren shook his head as if he was remembering those events. “I got some small extra roles, but that was it. About three years later, I auditioned for some movie, and they told me that I didn’t have the face nor the talent. I was completely gutted, so I gave up,” Harry raised his brows. 

“You did?” 

“Yeah, but only because I knew it wasn’t right for me. But you--you’re amazing at it. You have a second audition for fuck sake! I’m telling you this so you feel less anxious. It’s scary out there, yeah, but you’re gonna do great kid. I can see a potential movie star right in front of me,” Daren said, pointing two L’s with his hands at him, pretending it to be a camera as he smiled at Harry as he placed his cigar in his mouth. Harry chuckled, playfully posing into his ‘camera.’ 

“Thank you for that. I’ll try not to think about it too much. But whatever happens, happens,” Harry said, somewhat trying to convince himself. 

“Exactly. It’s not the end of the world. If you don’t get the role, then you get up and keep auditioning for other roles. Got it?” Harry nodded, feeling appreciative for Daren’s words. 

“It’s on Friday morning, so I’ll still be able to work-”

“Ah, kid. Don’t worry about coming to work if you can’t make it. This is a huge step, so if they need you to stay longer, then that’s fine,” Daren gave him a smile. “So, tell me about your girl, yeah? Have the balls to finally ask her out?” Harry chuckled, loving the way ‘your girl’ sounded when he was referring to you. 

He hadn’t gotten the chance to tell you how he really feels, but he had a clue that you already knew. There were so many unspoken words between you two that there was also a bit of fear of ruining what you two already have. There were playful glances, innocent touches, and sweet callings of pet names for each other that he didn’t know what your true intentions were when you would do all of the above. 

He’d gotten to know you greatly and somewhat deeply; noticing that you always left out the topic of your family when he asked you questions about your life. He obviously didn’t push it as he was okay with waiting for you to open up to him. But there was this feeling in his heart that felt so much for you. He’s only known you for a month and he feels all the crazy feelings with you that he can’t control them anymore because very soon, he’s going to just blurt out and proclaim his feelings towards you.  A serious talk with you was in his favor, but he didn’t know when the right time was. 

But all he knew was that he wanted you to be his girl, officially. 

Friday morning rolled around quickly, and Harry was calm on the outside while on the inside, his brain was scattered with nerves. 

He had barely gotten any sleep due to his overthinking of what might happen during the audition, and with the many thoughts making his head hurt, it lulled him to sleep for about two hours until he woke up thirty minutes before his alarm. Instead of driving himself mad, he decided to get up and get ready earlier than he intended. He took a long shower, the water from the showerhead, cooling down his body as he washed his face and brushed his teeth multiple times. 

He started to hum as he gathered his belongings; humming all the way to the studio to ease his nerves and keep him sane. It was particularly a beautiful day; the Hollywood morning weather felt nice and cool as the sun started to shine brighter and brighter. And he prayed that the outcome of his audition wouldn’t storm on him on this beautiful and eventful day. 

Luckily, making it passed security wasn’t a problem as his name was on the list and if there was a problem, Shareen had told him to ask for her name and they would let him right through. Walking through the studio was different the first time around because he had no idea what he was supposed to do. But the second time walking through the sets and crew felt like he belonged there. He casually walked, humming as he waved at people who passed by as he felt a little more confidence rush through him. 

“Harry, I’m so glad you’re here!” Shareen greeted him once she saw him enter through the door. The set was a large area with two cameras on opposite ends, and some props. There were about ten people in the room, setting everything up as they fixed the lighting and adjusted the cameras. Plus, people who worked with wardrobe and makeup as he saw Sky sitting at one of the vanities, getting her makeup done. He was happy to see that Sky got another call as well; and she was wonderful to work with, he thought. 

Harry made sure to put on a stylish outfit; nothing too over the top or anything too sloppy. He also wanted to dress accordingly for the role, just in case they don’t tell him to change, so he wore a black and white cardigan with Times Square sketched on the front of it, a white tank under, and some khaki pants. After many outfit changes in the morning, he felt confident enough to wear his outfit, especially for the specific role. Now, if he were auditioning for the main character who’s getting married, that would be a whole other decision that would need at least two weeks to prepare because he has about seven different suits in his closet, not to mention, sparkly and colorful ones. 

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Thank you for calling me,” he told Shareen, smiling at her softly.

“Of course, dear. I’m glad the others agreed with me to call you to come back because I’m so excited for what you have to show us. But now, I must give you the rundown on what’s to come,” she said, and Harry nodded, listening to her intently. “Basically how this is going to work is you’re going to do the same scene with Sky as you did when you both first auditioned for us, but this time you’re going to be doing it in front of the camera. We’re doing this because it’s very different acting off camera than it is on camera, so we just want to make sure the camera doesn’t take away the substance of your acting. Is that okay?” 

“Yes, sounds great,” he said, nodding. 

“Perfect. Now, I have to prepare some things, but sit and run over the script again before we get started--should be about five to ten minutes,” she told him before walking away to talk to the other producers. 

Harry sat at one of the vanities, picking up the script and putting all of his focus on his lines, jogging his memory from the very first audition. He remembered it, for the most part as he thought about the day he auditioned over and over again, seeing if he could’ve said a line differently. Those were the instances when he would drive himself insane. 

After about five minutes, the producers called Harry and Sky to the set. Harry took a deep breath, looked at himself in the mirror to fix his hair, and gave himself a small pep talk before walking over to the set where the producer and Sky were standing. 

The producer was a bit older, and he intimidated the fuck out of Harry. He stood there with an annoyed expression, probably wanting the day to be over with when it had just started. The man gave him no smile to either Harry or Sky; just directions on what to do. 

The director, who he found out his name was Rob, was sitting in his chair with his elbow on the arm rest, resting his head in his hand. He was a little less intimidating to Harry; he seemed like he just wanted these screen tests to be over with. 

Harry had heard there were about three others they called in for a screen test, which racked up Harry’s nerves a bit, but he remembered Daren’s words and thought about you, his sweet charm, to get him through this screen test. 

“Okay,” Rob spoke up, “I assumed Shareen already walked you two through what’s going to happen, yes?” Harry and Sky nodded in reply. “Great. So do just that, but we’re going to film it. Easy,” he said, turning towards the cameramen. “Alright, let’s get the cameras rolling.” 

Harry and Sky got into character for the second time, taking deep breaths as they maintained their focus onto their characters. 

“And...action!” 

The two performed as they did in the first audition, but this time, they made sure to intensify their feelings and emotions. They knew they were in front of the camera and were practically competing against other people, so they worked together to make them both look and act well. It was the same script and same lines, but the whole scene was acted as they were cut off the last time by one of the producers. And Harry and Sky prolonged the scenes, giving it a dramatic feel. 

Once the scene ended, there were small claps around the set, and Harry was happy that they were able to do that in one take. It didn’t take long either; about fifteen minutes to film the whole scene without any cuts or takes. 

And he was damn proud of them. 

“Wonderful job, you two. We’ll keep in touch,” Shareen said to the both of them. Harry and Sky beamed as they gathered their belongings and headed out of the studio. 

“Think we’re gonna get the roles?” Sky asked once they were outside of the gates. 

“Maybe. Who knows. Just have to be hopeful,” Harry replied, looking around for the railway. 

“I’m hoping we do--we make a great team,” she complimented them both. Harry agreed, they did make a good pair in front of the camera. And he was lucky that his partner was one of the good ones and not one of the rude ones that would have made him look bad. “Say, do you want to get some breakfast? I know a diner around here” Sky suggested. 

It wasn’t like Harry didn’t like her because he did, but not romantically, anyways. But he did notice the certain flirty eyes she sent his way sometimes, so she made it quite obvious that she had some sort of attraction to him. Sky was a pretty woman, don’t get him wrong; black hair, dresses nice, and whatnot. But he’s too nice sometimes that they get the wrong idea, but he’s just too charming for his own good. 

“I actually have to get to work,” he said, technically not lying because he did, but it was almost nine a.m, and he didn’t have work until twelve. 

“Oh, where do you work at?” 

“Uh, the candy shop,” he said, hesitantly. There might be a great chance she stumbles her way there and asks for him, but he couldn’t lie to her. Plus, it was great business for the shop and the other guys might get lucky with her. 

“The one on sunset?” She asked, smirking at him; obviously knowing what kind of candy shop that is and what kind of business they do. 

“Yeah, that’s the one,” Harry confirmed. 

“Hmm. Interesting. Maybe I’d have to pop by sometime,” she flirted, and Harry simply nodded in response. 

“Well, I gotta go. It was nice working with you, and goodluck if I don’t see you again,” Harry brought his hand out for her to shake, and she chuckled, shaking his hand.

“I’m sure it’s not the last time I’ll be seeing you, but goodluck,” she said with a smirk before walking away. Harry cleared his throat uncomfortably, not looking forward to Sky coming to the shop, which he’s sure she will be visiting soon.

Instead of pondering over the fact that Sky may be visiting the shop, he decided to just walk over to the railway stop and head on home before he has to leave for work, which is in about three hours. He was proud of his progress and where he’s ended up, even if that means he doesn’t get the role, he was happy he did it with his best effort and made sure to give them his best performance. As he got onto the railway, he thought about how Shareen seemed to take a liking to him, so that had to mean something because if he doesn’t get the role, she could probably help him and recommend him to other people in the industry. 

Once he was finally home, he kicked off his shoes, and grabbed a glass of water as he seemed so dehydrated from the heat and from his performance; too overwhelmed that he forgot to grab a water bottle on his way out. He sat on his small sofa for a few minutes, thinking back at how eventful the day has already been and he hasn’t even worked yet or seen you. He debated on calling you, but it was Friday so you weren’t at the studio just yet; probably at home but he didn’t know if anyone was home, so he just decided to wait until you’ll arrive at the shop. 

He was very excited to see you later in the day, and he hoped he could ease his way into talking about how he really feels about you. He also feels it’s been a while since he last talked to you on the phone, but come to think of it, the last time was Wednesday. The feeling of missing your voice and face was getting to him and he itched to just call you any time of the day, but he understood that you had your responsibilities. But he also did wonder why he couldn’t call your home phone during certain times; he knew you lived with your family and you live in a wealthy neighborhood, so could you possibly be embarrassed of him? 

You’ve made him feel so comfortable in public, but that’s the public where no one knows you, and family is different. They have different sets of values and thoughts that don’t even compare to the general public. And Harry didn’t really make that much; only stocking up some candy and having the occasional sex, which he is never really into. The point is, Harry didn’t want you to be ashamed of him. And although he truly knows that you aren’t, his overthinking mind was thinking for itself, driving him up the wall. 

He glanced at the clock and realized an hour went by, meaning he’s been sitting on the couch for an hour as he blanked out, thinking of so many different things that it tired him out, and he was ready for a nap before work. His tired eyes were slowly shutting as the last thought in his mind was you; excited to see you later. 

Harry entered work with a big smile. Daren immediately asked him how the screen test went, and Harry gave him every single detail. He also mentioned the fact that Sky tried flirting with him and said she might come into the shop sooner or later. 

“And you turned her down? For breakfast?” He asked, a classic cigar in his mouth. 

“I mean, yeah. I just wasn’t interested in her,” Harry told Daren honestly, doing his usual work in the shop. 

“Man, you must be so whipped for your girl,” Daren teased, smirking at him. 

“If you ever meet her, you’ll understand why I am,” Harry chuckled, but remembered you have met Daren briefly before he even met you. 

“I had a short conversation with her, and yeah, I understand. It’s the reason why I don’t give you any more customers. I know you really like her--could tell by the way you talk about her,” Daren pointed out, and Harry blushed. 

“Thank you, for that, by the way. It feels particularly odd sleeping around while trying to make her mine, y’know?” Harry said, and Daren nodded. 

“Yeah, I get it. I was in your shoes too,” he said, and Harry’s not surprised. Daren seemed to have been through a lot throughout his life, and he finds it helpful that Daren tells him these things to somewhat ease his anxiousness. “I gotta go talk to Pete. You okay here?” He asked, and Harry nodded as Daren walked to the other side of the shop and Harry started to wipe down the counters. 

Four hours went by a bit slow for Harry's liking. He was mainly in charge of the register and stocking some jars. There were only about three workers, including himself, and it was surprisingly a slow day at the shop, considering it was Friday. 

Multiple customers had come in and out; out with his coworkers as Harry chuckled, saluting his friends to have fun. Some customers had said the code to Harry as they were paying for their candy, but Harry kindly told them that he wasn’t doing that particular work at the moment, which he earned a small frown to the customers, and he thought the shop was losing business when he turned them down. But Daren had said it was okay because they get plenty of customers everyday because it’s sex and people are willing to pay for it. 

It was 4 p.m exactly and Harry wondered what time you were arriving. You would usually arrive a little before four, but you hadn’t made an appearance, and Harry wondered if you had forgotten that you two were going to hang out. But he chilled out for a bit as he flipped the neon open sign off, indicating Sweetland was closed. 

Harry continued to keep himself busy as him and Jack cleaned up the shop a bit for the next morning. 

It wasn’t until it striked 4:30 that Harry started to get worried. A bunch of thoughts ran through his head, trying not to think the worst as he swept the floor. You wouldn’t have forgotten about him, right? You were the one who initiated to hang out, so you wouldn’t forget. Unless you were really busy and had forgotten, which he doesn’t blame you because being a teacher is difficult. But he knew he should’ve called you the night prior to confirm your plans so you wouldn’t have forgotten, but-

And as his mind was going into overdrive, the entrance bell rang, revealing you stepping into the shop. You were wearing a white tank with some fitted spandex shorts along with some sneakers as your hair was in a bun. He’s seen you in your work attire or workout clothes a handful of times, but for some reason, this time was different. Harry realized that he loved seeing every version of you, simply because it was you; you made his heart swoon at every given chance, which was all the time. 

“Harry…” you said, walking towards the counter where he stood behind it, jaw slightly opened. 

“Oh, h-hi,” he said shyly, making you let out a breathy chuckle. After the many times you hung out, he was still somewhat nervous around you, and you knew that he was, but you made sure to warm him up and make him comfortable. 

“I’m so sorry I’m late. We got held back in class because the power decided to go out for at least twenty minutes, and we really needed to get the routine down before competition-”

“Hey, it’s fine. I would’ve waited all night,” he said, meaning his words. But that made you feel even more bad. 

“I should’ve called--I don’t know why I didn’t think of that earlier,” you slightly frowned, and Harry reached across the counter to hold onto your hands. 

“Sweet girl, I mean it when I say it’s fine. I get that you’re busy. You can’t just end class early for me, that’s your career and job,” he reassured you, giving you a small smile. You only nodded, still feeling quite bad you had him wait. “Now, c’mon. I’m ready to get out of here if you are,” he said, putting the dirty rag in the bin in the storage.

“I was actually wondering if I could get some lollies?” 

“Yeah, of course. Help yourself. I’m just going to clock out really quick,” he told you, and you walked over to where the candy bags were sitting, grabbing one before walking to the lollipop section. 

You helped yourself to seven strawberry lollies, some bubblegum, and some sour candy before walking to the register and tipping the tip jar $5. Harry came out from the back as you were in action of tipping. 

“I told you to stop tipping so much, and you know you don’t have to pay for your candy,” he playfully scolded you. 

“And if I want to?” You raised your brows, teasing him back. Harry laughed as he shrugged, knowing there was nothing he could do to stop you. But that’s what he also liked about you; you always did as you pleased because you simply wanted to. You had your own way of doing things and you never let anyone walk all over you. He thought it was pretty admirable.

“You’re free to do anything you’d like,” Harry said with a chuckle, looking away to see if the register was locked and didn’t notice you were leaning over the counter. He brought his eyes back to you and gulped as your hands were planted on the counter as you were bending over, looking up at him with your beautiful eyes. 

“Anything?” You asked. 

“Yeah. Anything--as long as it makes you happy,” he said slowly, curling his lips in his mouth. 

“You know what would make me really happy?” 

“What’s that?” He asked back, clueless to what you’re about to say. 

You sighed deeply, and not one that was out of annoyance but one that was innocent and teasing. “Cloud nine.” 

Harry’s eyes widened, surprised you said the phrase that he hadn’t heard in so long. He truly wasn’t expecting you to say that; he was thinking of something along the lines of going to the diner or sitting in your car until the sun goes down, but not the phrase that brought you two together. 

“Interesting,” he simply replied back, not knowing what else to reply with since he was so in shock. 

“I know you guys already closed and the shop has rules, but do you think you could make an exception? For me?” You innocently batted your eyelashes at him, but he knew they were anything but innocent. Harry’s dick twitched in his pants and he was lucky that he was behind the counter where it was able to cover his growing hard on. Once he regained the courage to say something back, he took a deep breath as he let out a chuckle. 

“I’m sure we’ll be able to let it slide for today,” he said, playing along as he smirked. You contained your smile, blushing very hard that it made your cheeks warm; happy he was playing along. 

You stood up straight as you said, “Shall we get going?”

“I’m right behind you, sweet girl,” Harry replied. A surge of confidence rushed through him as he followed you out the door, not bothering to lock up as Daren was still in his office, waiting on the other guys. 

You two get into your car, starting your car, putting on your sunglasses. Today’s pair were pink and square shaped as the lens was see through, still being able to look at your eyes through the color tinted lens. 

Before you put your car into drive, you placed your hand on the space between you two, leaning on it as you leaned forward towards Harry. He leaned in a bit closer, flickering his eyes between your lips and eyes. 

“Honey…” you said. 

“Yes?” 

“Can I kiss you, please?” You asked politely, eyes completely trained onto his pink lips. 

“Absolutely.” 

And for the first time in almost a month and a half, he finally felt your lips on his again. The feeling he’s been waiting for since the first time you dropped him off back at the shop. The softness of your lips had drawn him in for more as he placed his hand on the side of your head. 

The kiss had been something you’ve been longing for. It was a feeling you’ve missed dearly and you wanted so much more. You placed your hand on the side of his neck, holding him lightly as you two kissed in your car that was running; engine loud. 

Once you two parted, you placed your forehead on his, hands still set on each other’s face and neck as you two breathed out a laugh, both in disbelief that that finally happened again. 

“I’ve missed you,” you said as you pulled your head back to look at him. Harry smiled, showing off his pearly white teeth. 

“I’ve missed you too. So much.” You smiled back at him, blushing as you sat back into your seat, driving off. 

Harry didn’t know where you were taking him as you two passed the Beverly Hills Hotel. But once you parked into a driveway, he was amazed that you took him to your house. The big house was right in front of him, and although he's seen them in plenty of films and occasionally passes by them, he couldn’t believe you lived here. 

It was a fairly large home; walls painted all white with flower beds under the many windows shown on the front of the house with large pillars next to the front porch. The driveway itself was big as there was an entrance and exit gate. 

He followed you to the large and tall brown front door as you unlocked it, walking in. Harry walked in slowly, looking up and around as he took in the inside of your house. He didn’t know where to look; the shiny tiles, the massive living area, the long dining table or the massive backyard that was just straight of his vision. 

But before he could observe more, you grabbed his hand as you led him up the long staircase and up to your room. 

It’s been a while since anyone had been in your room, romantically that is. And you were a bit nervous to have Harry here because you wanted to know what he thought of your room personally. You had noticed how he was looking around your house before you snapped him away and brought him up. But that was only because you somehow wanted to tell him that everything about your house was not you whatsoever. The big house, the decor, the antiques—they weren’t you. 

But you were able to decorate your room according to your likings and your interests. It was the complete opposite of what Harry saw downstairs, and he was by far more interested in the walls of your room. There were posters hung up, floral curtains, an entire book shelf, a red dresser with a mirror as all of your fragrances sat on top of the dresser along with some knick knacks—it was very you. And he absolutely adored it. He realized he could sit on your floor, on top of your rug, for hours with you as you tell him your favorite song on each vinyl you own, which he thinks is about thirty. 

“Your room is very lovely,” he told you honestly, as he followed you; taking off your shoes as did he. 

“Really? You like it?” 

“Yeah, it’s very you and I like it very much,” he said, hinting at the double meaning to his words. And you understood what he was trying to say, but you smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck as his goes around your waist, 

Your chests were pressed together as you two smiled at each other, and you played with the ends of his curls on his neck. 

“Tell me about your screen test today,” you excitedly said. 

“Right now?” 

“Yes! I want to hear all about it,” you unwrapped your arms and went to go sit on the edge of your bed, eagerly waiting for Harry to tell you his experience. 

Harry sat next to you, and started to tell you everything, not leaving out a detail as he did when he told Daren. He even told you about Sky, and he was surprised that he didn’t see a hint of snark on your face when he mentioned that she was planning to visit the shop. But your brows just raised as you let out a ‘hmm..’ 

“I’m really nervous, but if it happens then great. If not, then I’ll keep trying,” he said. 

“Well, I am very proud of you. I’m sure you did absolutely wonderful, and I’m so excited for you!” You beamed causing him to giggle. 

“Nothing’s happened yet, but we’re staying hopeful.” 

You got off the bed and walked straight to your dresser to sit on top of the wooden furniture. 

“You’re amazing, honey. They’d be crazy not to pick you. I know I haven’t seen how you act, but just by how determined you are, I know you’re wonderful,” you said honestly. Harry really appreciated your words; getting up from the bed and walking towards you. 

He put his hands on your shoulders, running his hands up and down your arms as he was in between your legs. You gulped in response as you took deep breaths, trying not to get worked up from his touch but it was definitely hard not to. 

“Thank you, sweet girl. You have no idea how much your words and you mean to me,” he said, putting his forehead against his before kissing the tip of your nose softly, 

“Show me?” You suggested, and he pulled his head back and raised his brows. “Show me how much I mean to you,” you said, words coming out differently than the first time. Harry only nodded as you heard him deeply sigh before connecting his lips with yours. 

Your hands raked his clothed back as his hands roamed your sides as you two moaned against each other’s mouths. He pulled back to press multiple kisses to your jaw and neck, lightly sucking on your skin, making you let out a ‘mmm’. 

“I wanna taste you,” you said as he was attacking your neck with kisses. He pulled back and looked at, smirking. 

“You don’t have to.”

“No, please. I want to—well, only if you want me to,” you said with a chuckle. 

“Of course I want you to. But you obviously don’t have to,” he said nervously. 

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t want to,” you teased him, and he chuckled with a nod. 

You reached for the button of his trousers, quickly taking them off before letting them go as they fell briskly to his ankles. He got out of his legs out of his trousers before you slightly pushed him back to get off of the dresser. You then slowly untied his bow of his blouse before unbuttoning his shirt and taking it off, leaving him in just his briefs. 

The sight in front of you was something you could get used to, and this time, you really took your time taking in each of his tattoos and skin as the last time, you didn’t really get to. You reached up to kiss him again, one arm around his neck and the other in between you two as you touched him against his underwear, feeling his very hard dick in your hands. He moaned against your lips, and you pulled back, kissing his collarbone and chest, all the way down to his lower abdomen. 

“Can I take this off?” You asked, looking up at him as you were on your knees. 

Harry was practically in heaven as he looked down and saw such a beautiful woman in front of him. 

“Please,” he said, pleading for the removal of his pants. You slid his pants off down his legs as his hard cock shot straight up to his stomach. Your mouth watered from the sight as you rolled your lips into your mouth before licking them. 

But you decided to jerk him off a bit, not for too long because you wanted him in your mouth, but you also wanted to tease him a bit. 

From his dick being dry, you licked him from base to tip, coating him in your saliva before hand started off slowly, pumping and twisting your wrist. Harry groaned out, wishing the feeling of your tongue against him lasted longer. 

After a few more pumps, Harry said, “Please, sweet girl. Need your mouth.” 

You smiled up at him, kissing his thigh before taking in his tip into your mouth, sucking on him lightly. You then started to take more of him, slowly pushing forward as he filled your mouth up. 

You started to bob your head, taking him from his tip and only halfway because that’s how far your throat could take him, but your hand pumped whatever you couldn’t fit into your mouth as your left hand fondled with his balls. 

“Oh, god. Takin’ me so well,” he groaned out, throwing his head back as the feeling of your mouth on him was pure ecstasy. 

You moaned around him; the vibrations of your moans sent straight to his dick, intensifying the feeling. He grabbed the edge of the dresser behind you, keeping himself steady as your mouth and tongue worked wonders on him. 

You popped his cock out of your mouth, leaving a kiss to his tip before kissing down to his balls; taking one in and sucking on him before doing the same to the other while your hand stroked him. 

“I’m gonna fuckin’ cum,” he groaned, looking down at you as you looked up at him, balls in your mouth. 

“Cum for me, yeah? Wanna taste you so bad,” you said as he let out a series of ‘fuck.’ 

“Mouth is made for me, huh?” He asked, and you nodded innocently, even if your act was anything but innocent. “So close.” 

Your mouth went right back to his cock, bobbing your head faster, but not pushing yourself all the way down on him, just sucking on what you could take. Your movements don’t stop nor do you stop to take a break. The slickness of his cock and the fact that Harry was close was enough for you to keep going to get him off. 

Harry started whimpering above you as his breathing was staggered while he shot his warm spurts of cum inside of your mouth and ‘sweet girl’ fell out of his mouth. His hips jolted a bit as he was nearing the end of his high as his cock was still in your mouth, taking every drop of what he had to give you. 

You pulled away from him, swallowing every bit of his orgasm as you slowly stood up; between Harry and your dresser. He immediately captures your lips, tasting himself on your tongue as he swirls his tongue with yours, holding you close to him. 

“You’re fucking amazing,” he whispered against your lips, and you giggled, giving him another kiss. 

“Taste so good,” you smirk at him, and your demeanor is what makes him hard again. 

“Not as good as you, sweet girl. How do you want me?” Harry asked, knowing you have complete control over him. 

You think for a moment, pursing your lips as he watches you, thinking you’re the cutest thing he’s ever seen. You placed your hand on his chest, urging him to step back a little before you turned around, bending over your dresser. The look you’re giving him through the mirror was a seductively and sultry look piercing through him that he thinks the mirror might break from how intense and hot you’re looking at him. 

“Like this,” you said, swiftly taking your little shorts off and stepping out of them, 

Harry smirked, roaming his hands on your hips. You were wearing some plain beige panties, wanting to be comfortable while you were at work, and he thinks you look absolutely sexy in them—anything you wear is sexy on you, and he loves how you own it. 

“What are you waiting for?” You teased, smirking at him. He lets out a breathy chuckle before taking your panties off so you’re bottom half is bare for him. 

He bent down, kissing your hips and your ass before moving up and kissing your back while lifting your shirt up. Once he got to your shoulder, he took off your shirt, kissing up your neck as you loved the way his lips felt on your skin. 

“Honey…” you slightly whimpered. 

“What is it, sweet girl?” His hands squeezed your tits, playing with your nipples before one hand trailed down to your clit causing you to lose your thought and your words. 

He started rubbing your button as he kissed and sucked your shoulder, the feeling caused you to let out a whine. He felt the wetness between your legs and you felt the hardness against your back, both feeling so needy for one another. 

“Harry, can you please fuck me already?” You said seriously, looking at him through the mirror. 

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” he smirked. His hand left your clit before he reached in between you to stroke his cock. 

You bent down to open a drawer, pulling out a condom from underneath your clothes, ripping it open and giving it to him. He rolled it on, slipping his tip inside of you as you both let out a groan before he pushed all the way in. 

“Oh, fuck. So fucking big,” you let out. It was only the second time Harry has been inside of you, so you were still adjusting to his size, and he gave you a minute before you told him that he could move. He gripped your hips, slowly starting to fuck you. 

“You feel so good,” he groaned out. His pace was still slow, but he was amazingly deep. 

“Fuck me harder?” You suggested, looking at him. He smirked and nodded, going faster and harder. 

“Want me harder?” He said just as his ring hands held onto you was tight, knowing you’d have marks in the morning, but you loved it. Your ass was slapping against his pelvis; the sound made you wetter and more turned on. 

“Want it rough,” you said, grimacing at him. And it was like a switch flipped through him, grabbing your hair and twisting it in his hand as he pulled on it, causing your body to lift up so your back was arched against his chest and your head was pulled back to rest on his shoulder. And you’re thankful for all those years of ballet for your flexibility. 

“Tell me when to stop and I’ll stop, okay?” He said against your ear as he continued pounding into you. 

“Mhm. Don’t stop, daddy. Keep going,” you managed to get out through all the pleasure. Harry’s brows lifted, surprised by the slip up. He looked at you and you didn’t seem to notice, so he lifted his hand to go around your neck, squeezing lightly, which caused you to squeeze around him. 

“Fuck, squeezing the fuck out of me, aren’t ya?” He said in your ear, and you nodded the best you could. 

“So, so good. Shit.” 

The room was fucking filthy; the only sounds that were heard was moans and groans from yours and Harry’s mouth and the fucking you both were doing was only adding to the pleasure. 

Harry let go of the hold around your neck and your hair, and you leaned onto the dresser, fully putting your arms on it, holding yourself up.

One minute Harry was fucking the life out of you, trying to bring you to your high, but the next minute he was going slow and steady, prolonging your orgasm. 

“Harry…what are you doing? Don’t stop,” you whined out as you were so close to coming. Harry leaned forward, chest completely pressed against your back as he kisses your shoulder. 

“Wanna have you watch us,” he said, looking at you through the mirror. “You’ve been watching me fuck you, yeah?” You only nodded, completely captivated by his tone of voice causing you to swivel your hips against his. “Then watch us come, okay? Keep your eyes open for me. M’gonna look at you while you come. You’re close, yeah?” You nodded again, and he smiled before standing up and fucking you again. 

And with a few more pounds, you’re coming on his cock, moaning out as your hands roam the dresser, trying to find something to hold onto, and the mirror digging up slightly from your hot breath. Your eyes were trained on Harry as his eyes were on yours through the mirror, watching each other hit your highs. 

He collapsed on top of your back, and you brought your hand around to his head, scratching his hair softly as he pressed multiple kisses to your neck and shoulder. After a minute, he lifted his head as you turned your head towards him, and he gave you a big kiss to your lips, slipping his tongue into your mouth. 

“You’re so fucking good for me,” he said. 

“Me? You’re good to me,” you giggled, completely fucked out. 

“So pretty when you cum,” Harry said, smiling as if he’s remembering your face when you do come. 

“Please. You’re the pretty one,” you flirt back. He gives you one more kiss and proceeds to get up off your back, already missing his weight on you, and he pulls out of you, noticing how wet your pussy was from your orgasm. And it takes everything in him to not take you again, but he needed a moment. 

He used the bathroom in your room, taking off the condom, and washing his hands before walking to find you laying on your bed on top of your comforter, completely naked still. You saw him watch you from the bathroom door and you turned to him, giving him a smile before patting the space on your bed beside you, telling him to lay down next to you. 

You two were cuddled up, completely bare against one another as you were the first time, and just enjoying each other’s presence. 

“Can I tell you something?” Harry suddenly asked. You lifted your head up and nodded it as your hands roamed against his toned abdomen. You felt goosebumps raise on his skin and you soothed them away. “Okay, so uh, what I’m about to say has nothing to do with what we did and how completely fucked out I am, but don’t get me wrong, I really do enjoy being with you like that, it’s just that…” he rambled on, ending it as he trailed off because of the nerves he felt. 

“Honey, take your time, yeah?” You obviously gave him a small smile. He nodded, appreciating how patient you are with him. 

“What I’m trying to say is...that I like you. A lot. And I’m not just saying this because we had sex twice, but because I’ve gotten to know who this past month and a half and realized how sweet and kind of a person you are. And all I want to do is spend time with you and call you up every time I hear good and bad news, or something that makes me laugh. I want that with you.” 

Your eyes softened, taking in every word Harry said. With every word he said, your eyes glossed from how sweet and adorable he is. But you didn’t realize Harry was done talking when you saw his face softly frown; it was then when you realized that you were so into his confession that you didn’t say a word, just repeating what he said in your head making your heart flutter. 

Harry cleared his throat awkwardly, and you lifted his chin up. 

“Oh, Harry…” 

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I just needed to get that out because I’ve been wanting to tell you for-”

Harry was interrupted by your lips as you kissed him quiet, hopefully telling him that you definitely felt the same way. 

“You’re crazy if you think I didn’t feel the same way,” you said as you pulled away from the kiss. 

“Y-You feel the same?” He asked softly. 

“Hell yeah I do! Practically since the day I met you. You’re too charming and handsome and sweet,” you reassured him, giving him a peck to his forehead. 

“I-I didn’t know that,” he chuckled. 

“Yeah. Reason why I kept asking you to hang out—just wanted to be around you too,” you said, laying your head on his hand that was sprawled out onto your pillow. 

“Well damn, should’ve told you earlier then!” He joked, and you giggled, happy that you two cleared up your feelings for each other. 

“It’s okay, all in good timing, honey,” you smiled at him, running a hand through his luscious locks. 

“So…daddy, huh?” He smirked, and you rolled your eyes playfully. 

“Better not use that against me. I’m calling you daddy whenever I want to-”

There was a loud bang downstairs that interrupted you, which startled you both as you two sat up slightly. 

“Fuck,” you said to yourself, and Harry heard the panic in your voice, meaning that he’s going to panic as well. 

“Who’s downstairs?” He asked, following your lead as you started to put on your clothes, so he quickly did the same. “Who’s downstairs, sweet girl?” 

“I-I don’t know,” you were telling the truth. You really didn’t know who was downstairs, but you hoped it was your mother. 

“Darling!” Someone called from downstairs. 

Definitely not your mother. 

The opposite that is, because your father was calling you downstairs as you were half naked with Harry upstairs. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you rushed to cover yourself, thinking of how horrible the timing is. 

Once you two were both dressed, you quickly strategize a plan on how to sneak Harry out. You figured that you could just go downstairs to greet your father and have Harry stay in your room until Richard locks himself up in his office, and Harry could successfully sneak out. But those plans went out the window as there was a knock on your door along with some words from Richard. 

“Darling, I’ve brought some dinner and I have some news. Do you mind coming out here?” He asked through the door. You immediately noticed his mood and how much of a good mood he was in, and you still had no idea how to get Harry out. 

Harry was completely lost on what to do. Should he hide? Should he wait? He didn’t know. But you looked at him, smiling guilty. 

“Go to the restroom and just wait till he leaves, okay?” You instructed him, and all he did was nod, walking over to the restroom and closer the door. 

You took a deep breath and fixed your hair before you opened your door, revealing your father with a smile. 

“Hi, dad,” you greeted, covering up the fact that you have someone in your room at the moment. 

“Oh, darling, great. I’ve brought some food—come eat with me?” He suggested. Richard had beamed at you; it was a smile that you had loved since you were a little girl when times weren’t so rough and when you didn’t have thick skin. You always went to him when things were tough, and he would shine his smile at you and tell you everything was going to be okay. And you really did believe him. 

“Yeah, sure. Let me just go to the restroom and I’ll be down there,” you smiled back at him. Usually you wouldn’t be acting like this towards him, but the fact that he seemed like he was in a good mood and that you had a guest, you didn’t want to seem suspicious. 

“Perfect. I’ll get the food ready,” he walked off, and you closed the door, letting out the breath you were holding in. You were walking towards the bathroom door before you heard another knock. 

Confusingly, you walked back to your bedroom door, opening it and it was Richard again, but this time he had a scowl on his face. 

“Yes?” 

“Who’s shoes are those?” He looked down beside your feet, and you followed his vision and saw Harry’s boots right next to your sneakers. “Huh? Who’s shoes are those?” 

“I, uh-” you stuttered, but he interrupted you, stepping inside of your room slowly. 

“Because they sure aren’t mine nor do I think they’re yours because they’re at least five sizes bigger than yours, so I’m gonna ask again. Who’s. Shoes. Are. Those,” he said slowly and sternly, looking at you angrily. 

“Dad…”

“Where is he?” He barged into your room, looking around before heading to the closet, opening it as he was disappointed to find no one hiding in the closet. Your nerves were up to your neck because the only obvious place a person would be hiding is inside of your bathroom, and he was headed there next. 

“Is it Chris’? If you say it’s Chris’ I won’t get mad,” he said in a more softer tone. It scared you very much how much Chris has an affect on him, and you absolutely hated it. 

You opened your mouth, but nothing came out, which confirmed that it was not in fact Chris’ boots. He stormed to the bathroom door, barging it open, and saw Harry sitting on top of the counter, a worried look on his face. 

“What the fuck!” Richard screamed out. You immediately ran towards Harry, putting your body in front of him so Richard doesn’t do anything to hurt him. 

“Wait…” Harry said as if he had a realization. 

“You!” Richard reaches forward, and despite you being in front of Harry, your father grabbed his shoulders, dragging him outside of the bathroom by his blouse. 

“Dad, stop!” You grabbed Richard’s arm, yanking on it for him to let go of Harry. Harry didn’t fight back or anything, and you figured that was because he was your father. 

“Do you know who this kid is?!” He said once he let go of Harry and placed yourself between them again. 

“Well, obviously!” You said sarcastically, realizing that it was not the time for that kind of tone. 

“H-He’s your dad?” Harry asked from behind you. 

“Of course I’m her dad, you idiot!” Richard screamed out. 

“Don’t call him that,” you said, pointing at him like you’re scolding him. 

“Why didn’t you tell him he was your dad?” Harry asked. You turned around to face him, giving him a confusing look. 

“Why does that matter if I told you or not?” You asked curiously but confusingly. “Besides, so many people only date me to get to him because he’s a producer. I knew you weren’t like that, but I still didn’t want to find out if you were only after that.” 

“No, I wouldn’t only keep seeing you for him. But also he’s one of the producers of the movie I auditioned for. He was there when I did my screen test,” Harry explained, and your mouth slightly dropped. 

You hadn’t known what kind of movie Richard was producing because he never talked about it nor had you been home often anymore. But Harry told you the entire storyline including his character and everyone on set. And you’re not blaming anyone in this situation, but if Richard had told you the slightest 

 bit of information about his work, then you would’ve connected the dots. 

A scoff from Richard was heard behind you, and you turned around to find him smiling evilly like he had a plan. 

“That’s right. You’re the kid that auditioned that one time some weeks ago. Think you got some real talent, kid?” Richard said, looking Harry dead in the eye. “Well you don’t. The only reason you got another call back was because it was a 4-2 vote. But if I were any of them, you wouldn’t stand a chance to step in another set,” he grimaced, and your expression turned angry, while Harry took in every word your father said, wondering if what he said was true or not. 

Richard had really deflated Harry’s self esteem and confidence—he barely had a lot to begin with, but he really thought he did well during those auditions. And he didn’t know if Richard was just trying to get a rise out of him to get Harry to knock his teeth in so he could tell the other studios and agents that he’s violent, or because he caught Harry hiding in his daughter’s restroom, or if he really meant it. 

Neither of those options helped him from thinking that he wasn’t a bad actor because Richard was obviously superior in this argument and he had the potential to control Harry’s career. 

“It’s a shame though,” he continued. “I know people like you. Think I don’t recognize that fucking shirt? I see you dicks all around the city, thinking people don’t know who you are. Really--such a shame. If you wouldn’t have been sleeping around with my daughter, then the role would be yours.” Yours and Harry’s eyes perked up. “Oh, yeah. We’ve made the decision on casting and Shareen was supposed to call you tomorrow and tell you the role is yours.” 

Harry was now conflicted on what to feel. Should he be happy or a bit frustrated from what he said prior? He felt a bit dizzy from thinking too much, and Richard scolding him did not help whatsoever. 

“But I don’t think the role is going to be yours. After what I witnessed here, think I’m gonna tell them tomorrow that they’re making a big mistake-”

“You can’t do that!” You yelled. It was completely unfair of Richard to do that because what he saw has nothing to do with Harry’s acting. “They’re practically going to give him the role already! Why would you rip that out of his hands?!” You were on the borderline of crying, feeling so frustrated with your father and ultimately feeling bad for Harry. 

“Darling, I’m part of the movie and part of casting. I can do whatever I think is right,” he snickered. 

“How could you?! You’re punishing someone who could potentially be a movie star! How could you be so cruel?” Tears had fallen down onto your cheeks as you yelled at Richard. You really didn’t think he would be capable of doing something so vile. You knew he had dreams too when he was younger, and to just rip someone's dream right in front of him made you think that you didn’t know him anymore. 

“Now, Harry. I’m gonna give you five seconds to get out of my house and out of my daughter’s life,” he warned, crossing his arms. 

“What?! No!” You screamed, immediately turning around to face Harry. He had his head down as he sadly nodded. You were practically sobbing, placing your hands on both sides of his face for him to look at you. “Honey, please. Don’t go,” you pleaded. If it were any other time you were begging him to stay, he would’ve. But it’s the fact that your father was right behind you, telling you to leave his home that he couldn’t do anything about it. 

Richard had Harry’s career in the palm of his hands, ready to crush them once he stepped foot out of his house, and Harry doesn’t know if he could physically take that. It was already hard enough that he had to leave you, but to have his career being ruined only added to the pain. 

“I’m sorry,” Harry said softly, walking towards the exit of your bedroom. He entered your room excited and eager for two, and now he’s exiting your room in sadness and hurt because he’s not leaving with a smile on his face because he finally confessed that he liked you, and he couldn’t even jump up and down happily because you told him that you liked him too. 

“No, no, no,” you chanted as Harry grabbed his boots, and walked out of your room with you hot on his tail, following him as you were trying to convince him that everything was going to be okay. 

Richard was right behind you two, obviously enjoying what he’s seeing, which is absolutely insensitive as his daughter is practically crying out to the boy that she likes while watching him walk away from her. 

The three made their way down the stairs, and the large house with high ceilings echoed with your sobs and wails. The sound hurt Harry’s ears, not because he thought it was annoying or loud, but because he’s never seen you cry and he didn’t want the first time to be like this. He’s only ever wanted to see you cry when he’s possibly fucking you so good that you become sensitive, begging him to stop; or when he told you that he likes you, or if he even gets a chance to tell you that you love him. But not like that, and he can’t do anything to comfort you at the moment because Richard was pushing him out of the house as you held onto Harry’s arm, causing you to be pushed out as well. 

“Harry, honey, please…” you’ve never begged anyone to stay as you were right now. Not even when you found out Chris was cheating on you, you never begged. This was completely different. 

“I’m sorry,” Harry said again. He had his boots in his hands as he didn’t get the chance to even put on his shoes before he was being pushed through the door. 

Richard stayed back with an evil smile on his face with no sign of guilt or remorse when he looked at you sobbing your heart out. Harry walked out to the driveway, passing by Rosie as tears well up in his eyes. He heard bare footsteps running towards him, and he turned around causing you to bump into his chest. You wrapped your arms around his waist as he loosely wrapped his arms around your shoulders, both not imagining the night to end like this. 

“Sweet girl, look at me,” he said, looking down at you as he placed his hands on the side of your face. Your face was buried in his chest, not wanting to let go of him whatsoever. “C’mon, look at me, yeah?” You eventually looked up, looking into his eyes as tears were filled with it and rolling down his face. It was the first time you both had seen each other cry, and you wanted this pain to end already. “It’s for the best-”

“No! He doesn’t know shit on what’s for the best!” Your hands grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer to you as if he wasn’t close enough already. Harry looked at you sadly, wiping the tears streaming down your face with his thumbs. “It doesn’t have to be over,” you said, hopefully as Harry said nothing. “Right?” 

“I don’t know. It’s hard to tell right now, but maybe in the future we’ll be able to be together.” 

The thought of nothing being with you right now was what hurt him as he had just confessed his liking towards you just seven minutes ago. 

“This is so unfair…” you said, putting your head down. 

“I know, it is,” he said, and you suddenly lifted your head up as if you had a realization. 

“How about we run away? Together? I want to get out of here anyways, and then we’ll be able to-”

“Hey, sweet girl. Slow down, yeah? What we need to do is figure it out as we go. You need to figure out what’s happening with your father, and I know you haven’t told me much about him, other than the fact that he never lets you do anything, but you need to talk to him. I could tell there’s unspoken words between you that you need to let out because it’s not good keeping them in. And I need to figure out my career. Reckon I won’t have a role by the end of today, so I need to keep auditioning, yeah?” He said ever so wisely. You shyly agreed with him, thinking you were insane for even bringing up the thought of running away when you both had so many problems still. “But listen, when the time is right, we’ll run away together, okay?” That made your smile softly at him. 

Despite everything happening with the tears and emotions, he still found a way to put a smile on your face. 

“Just stop your crying. Don’t wanna see my sweet girl shed a tear anymore,” he leaned down, placing his forehead against yours as he kissed the tip of your nose. You did the same as well, and pulled back to kiss his forehead. “I’ll see you soon, okay? But I gotta go for now—lay low and shit,” his voice slightly cracked from the pain he was feeling from separating with you. 

He pulled back completely, disconnecting your bodies from each other’s hold, but having to do it with a bit of force as you weren’t ready to let go of him. 

“No…” you said softly as he was pushing away your hands that were trying to hold him again. “Honey.” Harry bent down to put on his boots, pushing your hands away. 

“I’ve gotta go,” he said sadly, giving you one last kiss to your forehead before running off into the street. 

You watched him as he did, breaking down in your driveway as you sunk to your knees. The hard and heated ground made your skin ash as you fell to the ground, hurting your knees from the impact,  but that didn’t compare to what your heart felt. 

Once he wasn’t in your sight as you saw him turn the corner of your street and proceeded to walk, you got up from your vulnerable position and walked over to your front door to see Richard standing there with no emotion on his face. 

Marching over and making sure that he sees what pain and anger he’s caused you, his expression has yet to change as he stood there with a knowing look. 

“Fuck you,” you spat out as you squeezed your way inside the house and up to your room. 

“I’d watch that tone if I were you,” he warned as he closed the door. 

“Don’t care,” you yelled back, stomping your way up to your room. 

You quickly reached your room, slamming the door loudly and locking it as a way to tell him not to bother you or even try to. You paced your room, frustrated as you pulled onto your hair with deep breaths until you realized that pacing isn’t going to help you, so you decided to take a shower. 

The shower was warm, falling onto your skin as you tried to let it soothe you. You stayed still for a while, just letting the water hit you until you realized, again, that you needed to wash and clean yourself as you were racking up the water bill. 

Once you did your normal routine, it was six p.m as you were getting into bed. It was quite early for you to already be in bed while on other days, you still have four hours ahead of you for work, so it was a change. But you desperately needed to lay down as your head was fuzzy from all the crying you did as you watched Harry leave as well as in the shower. 

You laid on your side, facing the space next to you as you thought: just about 45 minutes ago, you were lying here with Harry as you both told each other that you liked one another as you two giggled and kissed. The thought made tears form into your eyes one again as you cuddled into the pillow Harry was lying on, trying to smell the faint aroma of him, even if he was only lying on it for a short amount of time. 

And you stayed that way for four hours, only getting up to put music on your record player and drink water. But you lied there for hours as Ella Fitzgerald was playing in the background, wishing Harry body was replaced by the pillow. 

Through the midst of being in sadness and on the edge of falling asleep as tears rolled onto the pillow he once laid on, that was when you realized that you didn’t know when you were going to see Harry again. 

sooo...how are we feeling? come into my inbox and i will 100% cry with you! 

chapter 5 will be posted on September 11!

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