#//Im very chill about what happened at the end of part 4 very very chill mmmmmm

[yuyuisabookworm]

[remthegremlin]

sorry im still insane about wlsmp but like so many of the life series “traditions” were broken this season and i think thats just so interesting.

the canary curse is officially broken, no more excuses no more “oh well its been passed on- oh its this doesnt actually count or” yeah no none of that- jimmy is a beast and he did so well he deserves credit for his skills 😤 he got 12th out of 18 so try and canary curse that my boy is a rockstar 😤

most of the fanon interpretation of watcher!grian is him hiding it which was kinda supported by the fact that grian being the admin of the past life series didnt really matter bc he kinda was on everyone’s level- but wild life? he was IN CONTROL. he activated the wild cards he called the end of the sessions he KNEW THINGS other people didnt and oh man thats fucking tasty its refreshing! grian was such a character this season- he fully leaned into the admin position (and for us we see it as him leaning in to the watcher aspect) and people were commenting on it? they knew he knew things when previously it just wasnt mentioned by anyone. im insane about this i love watcher!grian that fully accepts who he is and uses his powers for chaos and fun

the TEAMS- the teams this season were incredibly interesting. we had the bamboozlers who everyone assumed were gonna all go out first bc they were all bad at the game and accident prone and considering the fact that the very gameplay was all out of wack yeah it was kinda expected that the clumsy players would slip up first- but they didnt! they ALL made it to the finale. the four Gs- everyone was making jokes about how they were forcing themselves to stay together and how they were gonna fall apart and it was gonna be so toxic but they were one of the strongest alliances besides gem and joel- and even bigb who betrayed cleo still kinda stayed apart of the team- which speaking of bigb he was AMAZING this season with the creaking bit he had going but also he socialized more and instead of being a total loner he tried being part of the four Gs and yknow what i’ll take it. and the fanart of him skyrocketed this season so bonus points! but yeah the four Gs, destined to fall apart stayed together to the very end and im so happy they beat the divorce allegations. JOEL AND GEM. these two. these two were AMAZING. they truly played to the game- they didnt take things too seriously, they had fun- and most importantly they stayed together. i think what im trying to say here is that the teams this season were just so much fun to watch and it didnt feel like they were held together with tape and glue and i love that. the chemistry was top notch. i just started rambling here but i loved them!! the tuff guys, renwood, and the spanners (???) were phenomenal as well but we already knew those guys have great chemistry with each other. i definitely lost my point here oops.

last thing- wild life was so fun and it feels like the shift in the life series has settled and now everyone is just having fun and i think thats amazing for them. the shift definitely started with secret life- thats where the canary curse was broken, thats where scar won against all odds (the no regen? and scar winning? impossible- but it happened), where grian finally died an honorable death (i say this bc all of his deaths previously he’d been unhappy with- yknow the i dont feel good with scar, dying in a frenzy, dying to a warden, falling to his death- but secret life? he died trying to win a 3v1 and legitimately could have won. if gem hadnt been so high in hearts he definitely could have survived), and grian being the admin was actually relevant bc he knew things others didnt (and that scene where the end portal went off in the court house god that was good food for the watcher!grian fans) where the mechanism of the series was fun and chill and not just about killing, and of course- the tone of the series was fun and wholesome rather than completely hostile like the other 4. secret life was a nice transition to wild life and im so happy that the lifers seem to be having so much fun now.

IN SHORT. i loved wild life! i love how different it is from the other series. and im so glad that the lifers are having fun and leaning in to the insanity of it all. amazing. and this was just supposed to be a little paragraph about the broken traditions but i started rambling. my bad lol.

ALSO JOEL WON! the silliest, wildest man won! isnt that fitting?

[tinyfantasminha]

TALK ABOUT YOUR SONIC 3 EXPERIENCE 👹

HHHHHHHHHHHhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH

OKAY before anything else I want to state that I am well-versed enough in sonic lore and I played Sonic Adventure 1 + 2 and watched Sonic X in japanese so I'm VERY biased 😫(also I watched it in the PTBR dub so when I mention dialogues it might not be totally accurate to the original audio BUT I did as much research as I could 😫)

Overall the movie went pretty much the direction I was expecting 🤔it wasn't 100% accurate to SA2 sure but?!? The changes were not bad at all! I remember when I saw the trailers I was a bit doubtful on Gerald being present throughout the movie but he ended up BEING ONE OF THE BEST THINGS OF THE MOVIE OHMY GOD BLESS JIM CARREY 😫 I found myself having a blast of fun and laughing at EVERY single scene of him and Eggman just doing silly (for evil reasons >:)) shenanigans

EGGMAN'S AND STONE'S DIVORCE ARC 💔💔The ''toxic'' yaoi was only a facade..... they were actually just doomed yaoi this entire time 💔

THEY ACTUALLY DID THE ''talk about low budget flights ✈️🙄no food 🍿🍕or movies 🎞️📺💅i'm outta here 😂😂😂🏃🏃'' IM CRAYZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Tails was OK in this movie, not really as interesting as he was in movie 2 but ooOHHMYNGOODDD KNUCKLCKES 😫😫😫😫😫😫💕 I LOVE LOVE LOVE the movie characterization for Knuckles... the big-brother coded scenes ..... the highlight was definitely the scene when he and Sonic are arguing about the Master Emerald, OML THE TRUST HE HAS IN HIS BROTHER

Ok let's skip to the good part already. SHADOWWWWWWWWWW SHADODWWWWBWHGHHGHDHJFGDFJNJNFD THE INITIAL SCENE WITH HIM KNOCKING OUT THE GUN SOLDIERS AND TELEPORTING I WAS JUMPNIG IN MY SEAT POIUNTING AT THE SCREEN THEY REFERENCED SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG 2005 OPENIGN IM SHITTING MY PANTS I COULD ALMOST HEAR I AM ALL OF ME IN THE DISTANCE OML

Shadow's and Maria's story was done spectacularly. It was SO nice to see how their daily life was..... Maria getting to act just like a pre teen her age, they danced and watched movies together.... 😭😭😭I was almost tearing up at that sequence just by knowing that these peaceful moments would come to an end. Her death was a liiitle different than what we expected yeah they wouldn't just fucking shoot a 12 year old in a kids movie unfortunately but it had the same impact nonetheless and dAAMMN Gerald's absolutely HAUNTED look??! I GOT CHILLS

Okay but hands down the moment that I just can't get out of my head??? ''Oh Ivo... you're no Maria.'' I LEGIT GASPEDDDDDD like yeah I did expect Gerald's plan because that's what happens in canon after all but I was NOT expecting this level of coldness towards his own — and REMAINING — family. Not a twist villain, but a villain with a twist. I may have gotten spoilers for the post credit scenes but I'm SO GLAD I wasn't spoiled for this. (Also me and my friends laughed out loud when he went down like a looney tunes villain 😭)

I was spoiled that Amy appeared in the post credit (the kid behind me was also saying ''oh Amy will appear'' 💀) but UUUHHH IDK HOW I AVOIDED THE METAL SONIC SPOILERS SO I WAS LEGIT SHOCKED. The only time I admittedly screamed in the theater, ''WHAT IS THAT?!? METAL SONIC?!?!!!'' OKAY SO SONIC 4 WILL BE BASED ON SONIC CD IG........... I regretfully am not really well versed in classic Sonic lore BUTTT I WATCHED SONIC OVA A LOT so PLEASE PLEASE if Metal turns out to be the main antagonist in Sonic 4 PLEASE make Sonic OVA references 😭🙏 ESPECIALLY TO ITS CLIMAX...... if you know you know.

AND LAST THING BUT THEY DID IT. TJEY DID IT THEY DID IT IM FUKCCN CRAZY

NOT ONLY SHADOW IS A FEMINIST HE ALSO LOVES LATINAS CONFIRMED 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 GABRIELLA SHOULD KILL THEM BOTH SHES NOT A PRIZE TO BE WON !!!!!!!!!!!! THANKY YOU SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG YOURE THE REAL ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

so glad I went with my special shirt for this occasion 🙏🙏🙏 IF NO ONE GOT ME I KNOW SHADOW GOT ME

[yinora]

HIII BABES i saw u write for spn so here's a req if ur willing !!

can i have a sam x genderfluid reader (or nonbinary is fine !) where reader saves sam from a monster attack and ends up tagging along w him and dean, during which sam kind of follows them around and admires them a lot ??

thanksss xx and hope ur enjoying the show

a/n: SURE THING BABE!! im actually so excited because this is my very first supernatural request, so thats really cool! i love the username btw, and the banner thing on your profile, really mixing my hyperfixations there! (dead boy detectives + supernatural) if you want another part, or another prompt whatsoever just request!

pairing: Sam Winchester x genderfluid!hunter!reader, platonic!Dean Winchester x reader, set with season 2 in mind (Dean doesn't have a deal yet)

note: i am not personally genderfluid, so im sorry if there are any inaccuracies, i tried my best with the knowledge i have. reader rides a purple motorcycle, Dean and reader are little shits to eachother but we love it here. reader is a badass because i said so. reader knows about Dean and Sam because of Bobby. reader is mentioned to wear eyeliner once. reader likes metallica (same)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it started with a simple case, it was a quick vamp nest, in and out.

what they hadn't thought of, was the fact that maybe, maybe, the kind woman who was hitting on both of them at the bar at an ungodly hour might've been a vamp too, and perhaps wanted to get rid of them, keep them away from her oh-so-lovely nest.

so here they are, tied up, gagged with a cloth, vamps practically circling them.

Sam could count 4 in sight, and atleast three taking naps a few feet away.

while Sam racks his mind for a solution, Dean can't help but shoot a wink to the vampire who hit on them at the bar a few hours ago, trying to act as chill as he can.

suddenly, all four of the circling vampires look up at the sound of a motercycle, and before they know it one comes crashing through the wooden wall, a guy with a helmet, you, being on top of it.

you jump off the motorcycle, letting it crash right into two vampires and lodging them against the opposite wall while you take out your machete, slashing at the other two, cutting their heads off with great skill.

next, the three napping vampires wake up, and immediately fling themselves at you.

you avoid them, dodging as if its a walk in the park, and cut off their head too.

for a second, you forget about the last two vamps, who are now free from your motorcycle, and charging at you.

one of them manages to knick your arm, leaving a small cut, and the other just completely misses, her leg having been crushed from the crash.

you handle them both pretty well, slashing at them and effectively killing them.

you take off your helmet, letting out a relieved sigh.

"damn, it better not be broken too bad" you mumble as you walk over and set your motorcycle upright again.

you hear muffled... something, coming from one of the guys tied to the pole, and see them both looking at you.

"oh, right, people" you mumble, taking a few long strides to get to them, first removing the cloth from their mouth and then the rope from their hands.

"you two good?" you ask, helping them up.

"how the fuck did you do that?" the shorter one asks, running a hand through his short hair.

"lets see, training, training, practice, did i mention training?" you say sarcastically, earning a chuckle from the tall one.

"hey, that was pretty cool, im taking it you're a hunter? we are too, im Sam and this is my brother Dean" he says with a smile, it reminds you of a golden retriever.

"wait, your last name doesn't happen to be Winchester, right?" you reply with a small smile of your own.

"its nice to meet you, i'm [name], i heard of you two from Bobby"

"well, your motorcycle seems pretty fucked, one of its tires is going empty and there's a piece hanging loose" Dean comments, dusting off his hands.

"oh for fuck's sake, i just got it fixed!" you groan in annoyance.

"oh, you can tag along with us if you want, we got a motel nearby" Sam offers sweetly, earning an elbow in the ribs from Dean.

"thanks, but i'm good, i got a motel room nearby too, infact, it wouldn't surprise me if we got the same one. Sunshine's Seashell Motel?" Sam looks surprised, Dean just looks annoyed.

"right, great, we'll see you tomorrow, maybe" Dean comments, before grabbing Sam's arm and practically dragging him away.

you smile to yourself, shaking your head before walking out aswell, going back to the motel.

the next morning, you put on a tanktop and some comfy jeans, matched with a flannel. you walk out, hair loose and some eyeliner on.

you walk out front to bring back your key, a duffelbag over your shoulder. you thank the worker behind the desk, and hear mumbling behind you.

you turn to the sound, and see Sam and Dean standing there, Dean making a face while Sam seems to talk wide eyed.

"im telling you Dean, that's the guy who saved our asses last night!"

"bullshit! thats just some girl in a flannel who looks like him, im sure of it!"

you smile, and decide to walk over to them. "hey boys! rested up from the whole thing yesterday?" you can't help but grin at Dean's flabbergasted face.

"im sorry, but i could swear you were a guy last night" Dean says, looking very confused.

"i was" you say cassually, walking along with them as they exit the motel and walk to their car, which you can't help but admire.

"what?" Dean looks even more confused, and Sam speaks up.

"genderfluid, Dean, she's genderfluid" Sam looks almost interested in you, but you shrug it off for admiration or something.

"atleast, i think thats it, right?" you nod, coming to a stop as Dean just shakes his head in disbelief and gets into the drivers seat, dumping his bag in the back, and Sam is about to go into the passengers seat before he looks at you.

"you wanna come with us? we're going to Bobby's, and im guessing your motorcycle isnt in a driving state." he smiles kindly at you, and you can swear he checks you out with his eyes before you shake it off.

"yeah, that'd be great, actually, thanks" you get in the back of the car, a grumbled scoff coming from Dean.

the moment he turns on the car, metallica 'sad but true' comes blasting throught the speakers, and you bob your head along the beat.

"ah, i see you actually have style! you know what, you can drive with us whenever you want" Dean says with a shit eating grin, earning and eyeroll from Sam.

"right, so she likes your music, and suddenly its all fine?" he scoffs and looks out of the window.

you can't stop the fluttering feeling in your chest.

maybe, for once, hunting can bring you something good, something better than just saving people.

maybe it can bring you your best ally you'll ever gain.

maybe it'll grant you a lover.

little do you know, that Sam is looking at you through the mirror, admiration apparent in his gaze, and he looks away again. he looks at Dean, who gives him a knowing look.

his brother is down bad already.

[trashworldblog]

hey guys im gonna write about lore now because im a little drunk and i have Big Feelings and Ideas about the puppet show. LETS GOO!!

ok so some background: we know the substitute [the hologram professor] was defenestrated by ryan at the end of last season. we also know that defenestration doesnt ALWAYS mean that the person dies. (also can a hologram die? sources say probably not. i mean he can kick and bite but just because he can manipulate matter doesnt mean he can die per say. he can probably recharge.)

we ALSO know that the power box and victory algorithm are outside of watcher hq in the dumpster. this was revealed in 6x01 and DEFINITELY not a mistake. im like 95% sure this plays into what happens next.

so whats my theory???

i do think this season is gonna be pretty chill lore wise. i think after 4 and 5 we deserve this little victory lap and shane is gonna give it to us. im almost positive there wont be any post show lore bits (except for MAYBE the season finale) there might be more breadcrumbs along the way though! and i will be looking out for them

when we DO get into lore times, i think the most likely things to happen is something that threatens both the professor and beef boy or one of them. i think we explored alot of the internal struggles with their friendship and i think their friendship is solid and earned now. (and it feels repetitive to make them not be friends again). ive kinda been waiting for a team up, and im very excited for this to happen!!

so, my #1 theory is its probably gonna be the substitute coming back to get his revenge. probably with a little help to. top suspects are 1) genie, 2) the devil, 3) asmodeus? and 4) secret fourth thing (a character we dont know about yet) i am curious about what the substitute is gonna do with the victory algorithm. in the lore scene where hes watching the machine count, it really does seem to just be a machine that counts points like jokes and puns along with correct answers, and all it does is award a ticket for the winner. i dont see how that can be manipulated into being helpful for him.

we also gotta get those little puppets out of the wondreum arena!!! and the professor doesnt seem to know that they're stuck in there!!!! i think that is also gonna play a role at some point, but i can't quite place where it falls yet. maybe the substitute will mention it and the professor will be like ??? WHAT??? maybe that's first on the professor's priority list??? maybe they'll get them back before the substitute comes back? idk yet. but its definitely a factor and something to keep in mind. i remember the substitute saying that god said that they could send one representative to earth to figure the whole mess out anf they sent the substitute, im just curious how any puppet was supposed to do anything about that??? are they supposed to bring their now unanimated objects to the wondrium arena for the puppet souls to inhabit??? idk but im excited to see how this part gets resolved cus i wanna see the little guys get outta there.

[thesmpisonfire]

okay okay questions:

Would they have their Pokémon out while hanging out? (/you might’ve mentioned this before and I can go look but what Pokémon?)

Are Pac and Mike often defeated in gyms? Like I know they’re difficult to defeat but is it something that happens kind of frequently or is it a very rare thing?

this is all I can think of right now but I might come back later with more. thank you \o/!

(SORRY FOR THE WAIT I REMEMBERED I HAD TO MAKE FELPS TEAM)

First thing I need to tell you bc I think u might got it mixed :D

I have my own pokemon au, tagged with '#pla au', which is the one that has felpac and time travel. But im also talking with @miscellaneoussmp about their own pokemon au :D

In the pla au, pac and mike aren't exactly gym leaders, they're battle facility bosses. Which means people go to them to have battles over and over, unlike a gym that once you beat it, you move on and won't battle anymore

Pac and Mike work at Gear Station, where the battle subway is. Anyone can go through 21 cars, beating other trainers, until they get to the subway bosses. Mike runs the single line, which means he fights with one-on-one pokemon. Pac runs the double line, which means he fights two-on-two pokemon. They both fight together at the multi line, which is two trainers vs two trainers, each with one pokemon at a time

They're the subway bosses, which means they are fairly difficult to battle, especially since the battle dynamic in the subway is different. They get defeated around like, 4 times per week. A lot of trainers manage to get to them, but most end up losing. So, semi frequent thing!! They take well to their losses tho, they mostly love the thrill of the battle

And YES they do have their pokemons out and about!!! Since we're focusing on Pac and Felps, I'll go for the two of them first

Pac sometimes has his galvantula on his back, like a very electric backpack. She likes hanging around with him like that when they're waiting between battles. But, most of the times, Pac carries with him a lot of joltiks, all being from his galvantula's litter. They hide in his jacket and pockets and often go out to cause mischief

Gavantula ⬇️

Joltik ⬇️ (THEY ARE VERY SMALL. FIT ON YOUR PALM)

Felps usually has his typlosion out, since its very well behaved and chill. Its a typlosion from a different region, as he tells everyone (not technically a lie), and its why its part ghost. Sometimes they're seen napping on each other

Typlosion while not on a battle ⬇️ (when its stand, its just a bit taller than Felps)

Typlosion while in battle ⬇️

Now, if you want to know as well, here's Mike's, Bagi's and Cellbit's out and about pokemon

Mike's Crobat ⬇️

Don't fall for its grumpy expression. Its a very loving and actually cuddly pokemon with Pac and Mike. It only evolves with big affection, after all

Bagi's Reuniclus

Loves to help!! Is a great listener to Bagi's rants and helps around with her gyms enigmas (Bagi is a psychic type gym leader in the same city Pac and Mike live)

Cellbit's Houndoom

A lil shit!! Loves to steal things and put them in other places. It also helps Cellbit a lot in grabbing pencils and other papers, running around to get them quick and sometimes burning them but its okay

(SORRY IF ITS TOO MUCH DETAIL I RLLY LIKE THIS AU AND WORLD BUILDING)

A pokemon trainer can carry with them a total of 6 pokemons, but in the battle subway is different: 3 pokemons/team allowed in the single line, 4 pokemons/team allowed in the double line, 3 pokemons/trainer allowed in the multi line. Normally, a trainer would have only 1 pokemon out for better handling on the situation if the pokemon was raised into a fighter

[wondrousmay]

My first impressions of 2023 Fall anime season:

- The first ep of My Daughter Left the Nest and Returned an S-Rank Adventurer was pretty cute and wholesome! As long as it doesn’t turn weird, I like I’ll like this story.

- I really enjoyed the 4-episode premiere of Frieren! There’s something melancholic about starting a story at the end of a journey and I like that we’re following Frieren as she retraces her steps but with a new perspective and a new companion. I’m loving the relationship between Frieren and Fern. Excited to see where the story will go!

- The opening scene of the first episode of The Saint's Magic Power is Omnipotent II gave me the chills! What a way to hook the audience back into the story! The rest of the episode was cute though. It’s nice to see Sei, Albert and the gang again. I’m excited for this new season!

- The first episode of I'm Giving the Disgraced Noble Lady I Rescued a Crash Course in Naughtiness (Ikenaikyo) was so cute!!! It’s a fairly simple story so I can see this being my comfort anime for this season!

- The first episode of The Ancient Magus' Bride S2 Part 2 went by so fast! I’m so happy to return to this story. This part of the College arc is my favorite so I’m excited to see how the anime team will adapt it!

- I really liked the first episode of SHY! A classic hero story but with a shy and introverted girl as the main character? I’m in! I also liked the little twist that happened at the end of the ep! A lot of interesting potential for our hero! Looking forward to more of this story.

- Uma Musume S3 is off to a great start! I loved how each season is focused on different pairs and this time it’s Kitasan Black and Satono Diamond. Can’t wait to see what this season has in store for us!

- The first episode of IM@S Million Live was good! I enjoyed it a lot! I really like Shizuka so far. Mirai reminds me a lot of Kasumi (Bandori) too. I can’t wait to meet all the other characters!

- The first episode of I’m in Love with the Villainess was pretty funny! I loved how unhinged Rae is when it comes to Claire. I just hope the gag won’t be too overused. I’m curious to see where the story will go and how their relationship will develop!

- SPY x FAMILY S2: The long-awaited Bullet-in-Butt date has been animated and it was such a fun episode! I really enjoyed it! I’m so happy that SxF Saturdays are back!

MVPs of this episode goes to Hayamin and the guy who voiced the Red Circus survivor. Hayamin’s range for Yor is fantastic. The pained noises that Yor made really sold the pain that she was in! The Red Circus guy was also very funny! He was so committed haha!

[theclearblue]

hi chen comign at you right after cfinshed ep 706 and my eyes hurt becuase ive cried i think 4 or 5 seperate times today from one piecea dn ive rubbed my eyes too much. good news first im over 700 episodes, i know what laws backstory is now. i think that all. heres some discord screen shots (i liveblogged my reactions to ness) to really highlight my thoughts on laws backstory episodes

i think that gets the point across

I will probably send you a more coherent analysin and thoughts about law and doflamingo backstory and the paralles and all the things but right now my brain is SOUP and I am SAD. IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY CHARACRER I LOVED WHO I KNEW WOULD DIE ID HAVE 2 NICKELS AND I WANT TO STOP COLLECTING NICKELS CHEN. Fucking law he he went through so much an dhes so small he SO SMALL. His town his family his sister he had to climb through the bodies of people he probably knew to live and he calculated his own death using his dead fatehrs notes. He was jsut 10 he should be being a stupid littl ekid. And and when cora is crying over him chen i cried os much they mean so much to me. If law hadn't run into vergo if cora hadnt gotten so injured if a million different hadnt happened hed be here theyd be happy and itd be fine but itsnt and i like i dunno man oda really got me with this one which is wild becuase iw as spoiled for some of this but like HHHHHH. I am going to watch some nice fun youtube videos after this of i dunno cats playing or something this gave physical and emotinal distress Im going to be ill i dont even know if im writing coherently but like GOD man like what fuck its fucked upp.

This is really the only response I've seen to Corazon's backstory ever ha ha :') No literalllyyyyyy u already know but I was literally sobbing ugly crying if u will at this part so uhhhhhhh this being as coherent as it is is honestly very impressive aklfdjglsjgl

And it's like. It's fucking crazy they only knew each other for like half a year. But you understand why Law just imprints EVERYTHING with Corazon. His tattoos his clothes his ship HIS PIRATE CREW. The kind of love that they have for each other is so powerful and like that sounds so fuckin cheesy but it's true aflkjdgldgjl. Law would have ended up like Doflamingo if it wasn't for Cora, he would be dead if it wasn't for Cora, but he also gave so much to Cora by just existing and by loving each other AHHHHHHHH ok I'm good I'm cool everything's fine! And the fact Cora hung onto life long enough for his sound barrier to stay on Law so he could escape but also grieve in that moment. It's just. That gives you such chills.

One Piece had been going on for almost 20 years at this point. How the FUCK does Oda go above and beyond time and time again this far into a series. This series should have declined literally years ago and yet it just. Gets better all the time. Did you know I love One Piece haha guys I think I love One Piece

[e17omm]

Ranting about Natlan part 2 (act 2)! Whohooooo god I am dying from heat.

Its actually not all negative this time. Its less just ranting and more thoughts of the Archon quest.

I ramble at the lack of stakes or tension at the end. That part's actually me venting frustrations.

TL:DR; quest is disappointing because it could have gone in a very fresh and tense direction but it doesnt because this is 2024 Hoyo.

Music is chill nice vacation music.

Conversation is about the country's constant war with a cunning immaterial enemy that has been fighting them for 500 years.

Nice to see that Hoyo completely succeeds at tone. (Sarcastic)

2. PREDICTION TIME! Kachina is actually gonna stay dead because the resurrection thing is gonna fail and Im meant to feel sad because this character that speedran her character arc in 1 hour and that I've only known for that hour is dead.

3. Traveller casually knows the song????

4. what a surprise! Kachina is (supposedly) dead. My money's on that she was captured or is hiding or something.

She "died" off-screen and Ive known her for an hour. Come on.

5. Oh? We're gonna investigate with the Archon, Mondstadt style? Im game.

I still dont care about Kachina, because again, Ive barely met her. But investigating with the Archon has been a while. I welcome it.

6. Damn, Mauvika just beat the shit out of him. The fight did turn into flying anime line battle, but the music was jamming.

7. aaah damn we arent gonna be investigating with the Archon. Shame. That would've been fun.

8. Did the Pyro Archon legit just send us to go to the Night Kingdom with a stone we can only use if one guy happens to be at the settlement at the time and we can find these fetch quest items he needs?

Who wrote this script? The Archon talked as if she had a way to go to the Night place and she doesnt? ANd now we are on a fetch quest to eat up time? Come on.

9. EVERYONE has sob stories in Natlan jesus christ.

I just wanna clarify that theres nothing wrong with sobstories in themselves, but they wont make me care about a character unless it actually matters to the story.

10. Man I hoped they would be pissed that we broke the thingy. Fucking Hell Hoyo games needs to have character conflict brought back.

11. oh we are going with the Archon... Oh yeah nevermind ignore point 8. I write these points as Im playing.

12. Oh I almost forgot, but yeah Kachina is alive. No surprise there.

13. Pyro Archon is a bitchass mf. Venti can barely fight and he still traveled with us. You can fight and you're not coming with us? Lame. (Im being half serious here)

14. This friendship and fighting with my friends arc feels incredibly cheap. Probably because its been 4 hours long.

15. and we ALMOST had an incredibly interesting plot direction.

Almost.

Hoyo keeps doing these fakeouts that I am actually yawning. Unironically, Im yawning. Whenever anything doesnt go to plan something always saves us. This happens in every one of their Honkaiverse games now. You can do a fakeout here and there, but not every time.

I hope someone understands my boredom with this. I lean back in my chair and go "and SURELY no one will burst in and save us from being trapped in the Abyss for more than 5 seconds, aaaaand there's the Pyro Archon. (yawn)" because it has happened so many consecuative times by now that its not tense or exciting any more.

16. I feel like Natlan would've been such a good story if we didnt JUST arrive here. It feels like there is a lot of sentimentality here, but I dont get invested in flashbacks and sob stories.

17. People claiming that the Traveler is just a spectator so its fine if they dont get stronger or have a character are sure is quiet after this quest.

This quest was pretty disappointing. Again, repeating myself over and over, but Natlan's biggest issue is that its the 6th region and Hoyo's baits never land so I've stopped grabbing at them.

You know what would have been a plot development that would have rekindled the fire of excitement inside of me? If we ACTUALLY got trapped in the Abyss, instead of having another bait of literally anything bad happening to anyone ever.

Can you imagine the plot if we got trapped in the Abyss for an extended period of time and had to survive and scavange for things to eat while trying to retain our sanity as we search for a way out?

Wouldn't that be fresh and exciting and something we haven't seen before?

But that would be something bad happening to our characters and we cant have that! No no boys and girls, nothing bad ever happens to the heroes! But we will sure keep baiting that it will happen! Are you still nibbing at the baits? Are you still worried for them? We will never actually do it but we will keep casting baits!

I want to be proven wrong so fucking badly you dont understand. Hoyo used to write stories I actually got invested in because at any moment, with a few wrong moves, something bad could happen to the characters. Not even death! In the [Seele] cinematic, Bronya could have been trapped in the Sea of Quanta and Seele would have had to go back in to pull her out (which is what she does, but it could have been a 1-chapter arc if Hoyo wanted to). But moments like that never happens any more.

We could have been trapped in the Abyss for an extended period of time before Mauvika found and rescued us and everyone could have escaped with their lives!

But NO! Instead we find Kachina right away, solve a small part of the problem, get baited with being trapped there before instantly being rescued and Kachina gets treated right away and SHES PERFECTLY FINE. THEY BAITED HER DEATH EARLIER TOO.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY IM NOT FUCKING WORRIED ABOUT ANYONES LIVES?!

IF THERE WAS ANY CONSEQUENCE AND ANY STAKES AT ALL KACHINA WOULD AT LEAST HAVE BEEN AFFECTED FOR A FEW DAYS BUT NO, SHES PERFECTLY FINE.

WHY SHSOAJD =IA^SPE DHUja9o'

Why should I care when the result is ALWAYS that everyone is perfectly fine and happy?

No one would have even needed to die or been permanently injured. But we get saved instantly.

Where's the tension and stakes supposed to be?

[ignitesthestxrs]

Ssince your askbox is open: give us an update on life? You moved out some time ago to your first place if I remember correctly, how’s it going? What ya up to? You like your job?

wah this is cute anon, thank you! and also a reminder of how very long i have been on this webbed site phew

in hindsight i think moving out was a rough transition for me, although i handled it the best way i could at the time. like it was necessary and ultimately good for me, but i can also clearly see now that this was the start of increasing issues with undiagnosed adhd where i went from a very rigid environment where i had a lot of structure imposed on my life by an external source, to an environment where everything was up to me, and it turns out i was not a super reliable person to give that job to!

that was: a while ago though. these days my living situation is genuinely wonderful and it happened almost entirely accidentally. one of my flatmates had to move out a couple of years ago, so i asked a younger friend who was ready to leave home herself if she was interested in moving in. there was a brief Blip where our third flatmate (TRULY A CUNT) started a campaign of terror that ultimately ended in me kicking her out, which is how we acquired a newer, gayer flatmate. after like a year? her partner moved in, and this is now a 4 lesbian household with one full time cat and three part time cats that just come in through our cat door at will.

nothing is perfect obvs but the difference between living in a house where i was not friends with anyone there and one person actually actively hated me, vs living with people whom i love, who are similarly queer and neurodivergent (this is a 3/4 adhd household, yes it is a mess), who have understanding and community, is the kind of life-changing, revitalising experience i could not have imagined before i had it. like i spent most of my life being alone and enjoying being alone, and i still do spend a lot of time by myself, but it's with the knowledge that like,,,not only can i wander down into the lounge and chill with someone, but that sometimes i will in fact want to do this. this was a revelation for me! i could not have predicted this for myself, and im very glad things unfolded in this way, because there were a couple of moments there where i was very tempted to make simpler, lonelier choices that would have involved taking less of a Chance, and my life would have been duller because of it.

my job is my job! i still work at the same place i always have (15 year anniversary next may lol). i work from home 4/5 days a week (i go in on a monday with my team and don't have to deal with the rest of the company, which suits me well). i make databases of consumer information acquired from surveys that then gets sold to media companies and advertisers, it is not exactly a world-saving endeavor, but we have a solid privacy policy in place so it's ethically survivable LOL.

one thing that has changed over the past few years is that i basically grabbed a metaphorical crowbar and started insisting that we needed more DEI (diversity, equity, inclusion) work happening in our business. this is also not a world-saving endeavour, but it is a way of bringing something that i care about into my workplace in a way that makes practical, effective policy change. white collar workplaces are very good at saying the right thing and doing nothing, and while my workplace is better than many, it has been and continues to be a bit of a fight to drag them into the 'doing things' arena. but i am having gradual success, and my ultimate goal is to create a DEI specialist position for myself if i have to like, carve it out with a butter knife. my boss is on board with this and will throw his weight around as requested, and doing this work definitely brings some interest and purpose to what is a pretty standard tech-adjacent job otherwise.

2023 has been a year of gently trying new things for me. i had a necessary surgery that has given me a new lease on life. i feel like myself again. i have been going to concerts and plays, i have done some volunteer work at a helpline (although i need to follow up on this, a thing that i am notoriously bad at doing). i am trying to reframe my relationship with creativity and writing, a big part of which has been like,,,reading again. my attention span was Shot for a few years though, and this is the first year of being medicated and like, Well enough overall in a long time that i have been able to sustain a pretty regular turnover of books.

i had a period of time there where i was kind of desperately, hysterically unhappy with myself in a way that resulted in me being Incredibly Fucking Needy because i didn't have anything to fill myself up with, i guess? so i have been on a journey of like, well to be interested by yourself it helps to do interesting things, so there has been a lot of re-connecting with hobbies and doing things because i might enjoy them, not because i want to talk about them on the internet. for real, i do think i killed my soul with twitter there for a while.

SO YEAH overall it has been a ride and a life, but i am in a really lovely place right now, even with the bumps and the hardships and the State Of Living. we grow and we go, right?

[thegreatimpersonator]

Okayy so I have a lottttt of thoughts but I won't share ALL of them since that'll get too much but I will however share some positive ones because I always feel when I send you an ask about taylor, it's always something negative that happened so I want to be a bit nicer today

1. I'm not the biggest fan of the two piece colored 1989 fit BUT she wore the color combo yellow and blue which are Swedens flags colors so that was something thoughtful

2. Her note belting (I'm taking about real belting, not screaming into the mic like during dbm) during the ttpd set where she sang "BUT WHAT IF THEY DID" or "IVE BEEN DOING IT SINCE HE LEFT" or "YOU DESERVE PRISON" gave my chills all over my body

3. The visuals during down bad are probably imo the most expensive and most fascinating visuals she's ever done because I was sitting very much at the top and from there it literally looked like she was floating and getting beamed up by the ufo plus projecting the ufo like that must've been very hard so yeah I was impressed

4. I already mentioned this yesterday but getting my two fav songs off 1989 and then a great red song AND HOW DID IT END was genuinely the highlight I think

5. This isn't something crazy but I love how she learned like those little phrases for every single country she's been going and how she changed little parts of her performances (cam saying "like ever" in different languages or her normally welcoming the crowd in different languages) based on the countries she's performing in. She literally learned how to say "fuck you guys are amazing" in Swedish and that was funny when she said it out loud lol

6. I know I criticise her for a lot of stuff but I will never deny the fact that she can put on a show because she's there on stage for 3 1/2 hours and just having the time of her life and you can see that. I'm not saying there isn't any other artist doing it like her but there are however a lot of artists that are on her level who just stand there and sing for 1 1/2 hours without really moving which is completely fine too! i just admire how she put big effort into this tour

Okay I'll stop now or else this will never end lmao but I'd love if you'd give your individual opinion on each things too! You mentioned that you're going to another eras show in Canada right? I'm sure there you can see what I mean with points 2 and 3

aw yayy! im so happy you had such a good time, all of these points are so true and rightly very impressive/cool. and yes im really interested in seeing points 2 and 3 in the future for my show in december (hopefully she doesnt change it up and take them away lol) the ufo visual looks so cool and as someone who's been pretty regularly disappointed/unimpressed with taylors visuals (like with album covers/merch/etc) it's extra exciting to see something so cool.

[tony-gunks-italian-pizzeria]

Chapter Six: Uh Oh.

Tony followed a customer out of the employee's only area and whispered, “Tonight? Got it?” The customer nodded and left. Todd went around the counter and up to Tony and asked, “What's all that about?” Tony looked him in the eye, “All what? Oh! Yeah, the new meat! It's nothin for now, heh. Maybe you'll see later.” Todd's anger rises, “You cant just go around turning people into vampires!” “Yes i can. And we're not technically vampires.” Tony joked. “That doesnt matter dude! And how is that supposed to be better??” Todd yelled, Tony snapped back, “Last time i checked I hired you, so chill out wouldja. I didnt turn but 4 people, alright?” “You're really not convincing me here dude.” Todd whined. “Whatever kid, say, hows about you and i finish closin up and we get a bite, eh?”

The streets were once again busy that night, but finally somebody was keeping an eye out for the residents of this helpless city. Ron Broccoli walked the alleys and roads looking for any sign of the undead he knew were lurking, as well as any sign of their victims. He had barely begun the night's search when he saw two people walking out of the back of the just closed, “Tony Gunk's Italian Pizzeria” and decided to follow the pair. “Those two are similar heights to the men who attacked that poor guy last night, on the off chance they're potential prey or the very scum im looking for, i ought to follow em.” Broccoli thought.

“We need to getcha a real meal this time, son.” Tony said, walking alongside Todd. The pair creeped at a normal pace down Tony's usual druggie filled alleys, Tony hoped to find his employee a meal that wasnt so full of holes. Todd started, “I already said im not killing anybody, Tony.” “Ahh, I know I know. I'll do that part, pal.” “We arent pals, i just dont want to starve.” Todd shot. “Sure.” Tony replied with sarcasm. “Make sure he doesnt get back up this time, would you?” Todd prodded. “Relax, it wont happen again.” Tony said flatly. They walked passed a man passed out on the ground, an empty needle beside him. “Next.” Tony sighed. They continued passed backdoors, trash cans and bags until they turned another corner. Tony's voice raised with a hushed excitement, “Pss, Todd, look there. Diggin in the dumpster-” Todd looked ahead at a man dumpster diving, not paying them any attention. “Its a dead end, kid. He's got nowhere ta run.” Tony egged him on. Todd smiled and took off running at the man with his back turned. Tony looked on proud, he didnt expect Todd to do the part he so often argued against. Todd tackled the man to the ground and started growling, the man fought Todd's hands away and pushed back his face as much as he could as Todd clawed and tore as if he was digging. He finally got a good bite of the man's arm and started shaking it like a dog. The man screamed as his arm tore more and more, letting blood pour from the wound. Suddenly a wooden bolt shot by and barely missed Todd's head. Tony and Todd snapped their heads around to see where it had come from. “I knew I'd find something if i followed you long enough.” Broccoli walked from behind the corner, aiming his crossbow already containing another bolt. Tony looked at Broccoli and smiled, “Ohh, now this is interestin.” The injured man scrambled up to his feet and sprinted down the street. “Get em, kid!” Tony ordered Todd. Todd snarled and gave the man chase, they both turned the corner and went quickly out of sight. Broccoli went for a shot at Todd but Tony appeared beside him, grabbed the bolt from the chamber and snapped it before backing away. “Tony, is it?” Broccoli inquired while reloading another shot, “Dont. Move.” He pointed his crossbow at Tony. “Listen, Ron. If i wanted, I could have you and that bow broken before you even fired. How's about you look the other way?” Tony said. Ron steadied his aim and fired. A hooded man dropped from the roof above the two and landed in front of Tony, getting shot instantly by the wooden bolt. He started dissolving into sand and ash, stumbling to the ground. Tony walked around his dying body and towards Broccoli. Before Ron could reload another bolt Tony appeared in front of him. 

Tony through him to the wall at the end of the dead end street and said, “Yknow Ron, i could turn ya here and now if i wanted, you'd have to live like us. Wouldnt that just be the worst?” Broccoli glared at him with contempt and spoke, “Id simply starve. I would never stoop to your level.” Tony smiled and held back a cackle, “You already have, silly. Remember your visit to my fine establishment?” Ron readied a knife and held it up, “What are you on about, dick?” “Well ya know you're missin mutt?” Tony laughed quietly to himself as confusion set across Ron's face. “My dog? What about her? What are you talking about?” A toothy grin overcame Tony, as his voice quieted slightly, showing its rasp. “Truth is I drained the poor thing and used its blood for the sauce in the pizza you ordered. The whole time you were lookin you couldve just checked my restaurant! Or better!!" He chuckled and wheezed, "Your own refrigerator- Hehahaa” Tony's cackle was interrupted by Ron shoving him to the cold hard ground and pinning him with his body. Ron's knee held down one arm and his free hand held down the other. Ron leaned in close to Tony's face and Tony asked, “Are we aboutta kiss right now?” “Go to hell.”

Ron almost plunged the knife into Tony's head when, “Stop where you are!” An unfamiliar voice demanded from down the street, “Drop the damn knife.” Broccoli looked up at three police officers, guns drawn and aimed at him. He did as they said and climbed off of Tony, “Gentlemen,” he raised his hands in the air, “This man is a murderer. Im sure he's killed somebody tonight. Check his shop, thats where he keeps em!” One officer walked towards him, “Turn around and place your hands behind your back,” he turned to Tony and said, “You're the guy from TV, with the pizza place?” He talked to Tony while the other two handcuffed and took Ron to their car down the street, “We're going to have to investigate his claim, as crazy as he seems.” Tony sat leaned against the wall and faked exhaustion, “Sure thing, sir! Ive got the keys on me now if you want to take a swing by.”

[slayonehundredninetytwo]

here’s a quick irl story while we wait for the fic

Okay so, one day before a competition my man who doesn’t know he’s my man if you know what i mean gets there after me. which is already abnormal because he’s usually one of the first to arrive. I look up at him, his hair soaking wet like he's fresh out of the shower. because he was. apparently, he had gone through the whole previous day feeling fine, but then when he got home around 4 o clock, he started feeling really shitty and decided to take a nap. He didn't wake up until his alarm went of the next morning sleeping through dinner and his usual shower time.

So he woke up and hurriedly showered before hauling himself to campus for to leave for the competition, with no time for breakfast. worst part is, he was still feeling shitty as the night before. just looking at him you could tell he was unwell. I'm usually rather shy to start up a convo w him, but im 100% a worrier by nature, and seeing his much paler than normal skin (even his freckles were lighter), rosy cheeks, and baggy eyes, i had to check on him. Which is how i knew the lore behind his condition.

We went outside where it was freezing cold and 6 in the morning, before practicing for a bit. It was clearly hell for him. I couldn’t imagine being out there in the cold with a fever like the one he seemed to be experiencing. After practice we headed inside to get in uniform.

As we were all getting ready, i was watching him from afar in the least creepy way possible like i usually do, but he just wasn’t himself. He’s a leader in his section, so usually he’s up and about helping out and being leader-y i guess, but today he sat criss cross apple sauce on the floor, too weak to stand. I just felt awful for him, we had a long day ahead of us, but i knew he wouldn’t miss it regardless of how he felt. 

On our way to head to the actual competition, I caught up to him.

“Do you need a hair tie?” I offered him the extra hair tie i had brought on my wrist specifically for him. We have to pull back our hair, and his is pretty long for a guy’s, but he’s always too shy to ask for one, and we were literally about to leave.

“Oh yeah. Thanks. I forgot. I was gonna come over and ask but I just felt so weak and my head hurts like hell.”

“No problem.” His commentary on how he’s feeling only made me more worried for him.

“Are you feeling any better?”

“Not really.”

I made a sympathetic face.

“At least make sure you’re drinking lots of water.” (I am very much that person who carries around her water jug everywhere, hydrate or dydrate, water is always the solution)

He gave a head nod, as we walked outside. I gave him one last parting note before we split ways. 

“Just don’t die, okay?”

He chuckled at this, “Okay.”

And we split to get on our separate buses.

-

After the competition, we had some chill time, and him and i just so happened to end up sitting next to each other.

“Well, are you feeling any better now?”

“Yeah I am. I didn’t die.”

-

guys please don’t think i’m a creep 😭

🫶

[cherry-flavoured-dreams]

Felt like re rating the clancy album 2 months later after release because I've listened to each song like 100 times now and can definitely tell u how I feel about each

Over all how much I like the album 9/10

The songs in my order of favourite:

1. Next semester - This song has such a special place in my heart, the lyrics + the music are great and I have like a few core memories related to this song, it actually started snowing hard here which NEVER happens when I first heard this song and I went outside and the ending of the song started playing and I was so in awe at how beautifully it was timed. Then I heard this song at the concert in London 9th May literally best day of my life I still can't believe I actually met them and they signed my sketchbookkkkk. And then yea just the entire part "ooooo can't change what you've done start fresh next semester" I literally levitate to heaven every time i hear it 10/10 song

2. At the risk of feeling dumb - literally SO GOOD it's so good literally both the message and the song itself are so perfect I love it sm

3. Navigating - YEAAAAAA bro the amount of hype and energy I feel the second I hear this song and the guitar and drums I JUST AAAAA HELL YEAAAAAA and then the way he sings "My oh my" IS SO GOOD AND NICE TO LISTEN TO? banger song

4. Routines in the night - I GROOOOOVE to this song my god it's so good I can't believe that navigating and routines in the night are some of Tyler's least favourite songs he wrote on this album literally HELLO WHAT thank you josh for making him keep them on the album because I can't imagine a universe without these songs I think I'd die I love routines in the night it's literally perfect for listening to while walking around at night

5. Midwest Indigo - okok this is SO specific but it reminds me of kids by kyle Dixon and Michael stein from stranger things but instead of it being a warm summer vibe it's a cold winter version of it? LOL IDK I love it though, especially the silly little "What's your ETA? 2 MINUTES! Chill out man we're right on time" it's great. Plus I in general find the song very relatable so it's high up here on the list.

6. Snap back - THE WAY HE SINGS "I have seem to run out of excuses as to why I am this is way" UGHHH I LOVE IT but no yea this song is really nice to listen to when Im in a low mood and keep over thinking. The melody is so simple but his voice enhances it by like 1000%

7. Backslide - I actually find it very similar to snap back in terms as to why I listen to it a lot, I like how he isn't afraid to make songs about things like this. I think the lyrics "I should of loved you better do you think that nows the time you should let go?" unintentionally helped me get through a really tough period of my life I've had recently, just in general this song was too perfect for the situation I was in.

8. Overcompensate - BANGERRRRRRR AAAAA 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 I absolutely love the build up in the beginning and the drop it reminds me so much of jumpsuit

9. Paladin strait - oh my god OK another really specific reason I love this song - I literally maladaptive daydream 24/7 no over exaggerating, and this song I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS but around the 2:46 mark when it starts building up my daydreaming just kicks in so goddam hard I have such a vivid OC animatic in my head to this song (I honestly do to most songs I listen to) but boyyyy MmMMMMM this one hits hard and good. Ok anyway the song itself I love it, especially the ending part I wish there was a whole ukulele version where he sings the whole song like that.

10. The craving jennas version - ok this is funny because I used to dislike this song and would skip it, not because the song is bad, it's beautiful and absolutely adore it especially now that stuff has changed in my life, but because I wasn't able to listen to any love songs without feeling sick and upset. Now that I'm better I absolutely love listening to it, it's such a beautiful song and you can really see how much he loves his wife

11. Oldies station - I LOVE listening to this when I'm travelling on a bus or a train and just seeing the cars and city go by, i really feel like I've grown as a person and understand the song so well.

12. Vignette - I actually never go out of my way to listen to this one, not sure why, I'll happily let it play it's good but I just literally prefer every other song

13. Lavish - This is gonna get me killed but never have I once ever disliked a song by TOP... Except lavish I'm sorry I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS I JUST CANT LISTEN TO IT IT'S THE ONLY REASON THE ALBUM IS A 9/10 FOR ME and i wish I could like it because it's literally like a meme within the fandom and I love the music video but the song itself I just skdhdhdjsksbf I DON'T KNOW yea I apologise it's not my thing 😔😔😔

Yea in conclusion BANGERRRRR 🚨🚨🚨‼️‼️‼️

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

additional watching and reading sections

watching addendum

Sinners (2025, dir. Coogler). i was very brave and went to the actual theater.

Sinners is a 2025 American horror film written, co-produced, and directed by Ryan Coogler.[4] Set in 1932 in the Mississippi Delta, the film stars Michael B. Jordan in dual roles as twin brothers who return to their hometown to start again, only to be confronted by a supernatural evil.

this has a HEFTY runtime of almost two and a half hours but (despite a slow start) i think it fully deserves that runtime bc it makes good use of it. there is not a good time to go to the bathroom do NOT believe the AMC app’s lies. i was rarely bored. there’s always something fucking happening. i also really appreciate 1) an original screenplay that isn’t part of a franchise and 2) a one-and-done story that neatly wraps up its own ends. it’s also really fun to watch michael b jordan having a fucking blast.

during the big dance scene (different from the scary dance scene) i did have the thought “is this going to be cringe” but it fully committed and made me cry. so many people stop at cringe when they could go 20% farther to fully commit and make it not cringe.

im glad it’s making a zillion dollars and i hope it makes a zillion more

-

reading

major spoilers for another work where everything happens so much, More Than Paradise by Jennifer Fulton, a 2007 paperback from Bold Strokes Books. the stuff i have from Bold Strokes seems to be romance plus another genre (here jungle adventure) which i appreciate. it has a mysterious timesheet that’s stuck in the haphazardly glued perfect binding? i imagine someone uses it as a bookmark and then it got left in the sun perhaps?? mysterious. cannot imagine it came out of the factory like that.

When faced with human treachery and the perils of a lost world, two women thrown together in the exotic jungles of New Guinea become reluctant allies and unexpectedly discover that paradise just might be a place in the heart.

Botanist Charlotte Lascelles can't believe her luck when she is selected for a research expedition into the untamed Foja Mountains of New Guinea. The last thing she expects is to find her team being led deep into the mist-shrouded jungle by a woman who has spent the past decade working as a mercenary soldier for shady characters in Indonesia and East Timor. To make matters worse, Ash Evans' history with women represents everything Charlotte loathes.

Although friends accuse Charlotte of being uptight, she simply has standards, and they don't include hooking up with brazen playgirls like Ash. Charlotte can't wait until they reach camp so she can put the distracting and far too sexy guide out of her sight, but things aren't going her way. Compelled to share a tent with her nemesis on the journey into the unknown, Charlotte soon finds her determined reserve no match for the fires Ash ignites.

the way charlotte and ash first “meet” is that ash (mercenary) has a lot of opinions about fake boobs and then goes on to have a threesome with a couple, one of which is cheating on charlotte’s rich bestie. and refuses to leave charlotte’s bestie’s house with her new lover. so charlotte goes to throw everyone out, discovers a threesome, and ash leaps out a back window. as one does. the number of Things that happen per page in this book is extremely high.

much later, charlotte also has a lot of opinions about ash’s previous sexual history, which is not something i personally value in a partner. im not sure this would be written in a modern lesbian romance without a deeper exploration of what makes charlotte tick. bc she is recovering from a relationship where her ex was absolve and alcoholic, and has a lot of…maladaptive but understandable coping mechanisms.

this book is largely set in Papua New Guinea so you might ask “oh cool is this book anti colonialist or eco activist or chill about indigenous peoples?”

no 🥰 charlotte what the fuck are you TALKING about being the first person to eat this fig you JUST met the people who live here!!!

shit really starts popping off on a sentence level in the last third of the book. im just going to copy and paste the texts i sent my bestie from 2-3AM last Wednesday while i read this at work

This book is so dense with Happenings. Weird eco activist I didn’t even mention before bc there was so much going on has been stalking them and briefly kidnapped Charlotte to show her a specific orchid consumed by this hidden tribe of little people that gives them longevity and youthfulness??? in the hopes she will help him lobby to preserve the rainforest??? she of course did not tell Ash any of this. Ash ended up having to leave without saying goodbye bc Charlotte was off literally crying about how she feels like she’s wasted her life so far. in the middle of trying to jerk off bc she’s so sad she missed Ash without saying goodbye, the camp flooded in a monsoon and now everyone is fleeing for their lives with minimal supplies

the way Charlotte takes back control of like. her own life? and gets over the physical abuse from her ex? is by foiling an attempted rape from one of the other mercenary guards who’s been on her case all book. what the fuck. there are fourteen pages left what the fuck

HELICOPTER CRASH SURVIVAL. THEY HAVE THE FLU. LIVING TOGETHER ON COFFEE PLANTATION??? WHAT DOESNT HAPPEN IN THIS BOOK

so sorry this is going to be a deranged series of texts to wake up to and none of it is urgent

AND THE SEX? i hear you asking. a lot of very poetic fucking amongst orchids. and an extremely strange dub con? could have been better negotiated? sex scene that i think ms fulton would be crucified for if she wrote it today

i wanted to like this book so bad bc it seemed like a fun little pulpy adventure, but unfortunately it kept all the terrible parts of pulp adventures: terrible to strange attitudes towards indigenous people, sex scenes that make you sick air through your teeth, and a sort of lack of clarity of purpose. this was her sixteenth or seventeenth book and she is capable of executing a readable and compelling story on a base level, if only to find out what the fuck she’s going to throw at the wall next. i would much much rather read a book where too much happens instead of nothing happens, but not keeping this one either :(

tuesday again 5/6/2025

i feel a little weird whenever i post an “incomplete” tuesdaypost but my brain is the consistency of mashed potato rn

listening

normal by emily jeffri off my spotify discover weekly. if you told me this song was created in 2011 i would believe you— a lot of vocals i associate with marina and the diamonds/recession indie pop of that era’s rapid range jumps, roller-coaster-scream, and sort of sing-spoken musical theater delivery. plus a beat i can only describe as very up-and-down?

she’s fucking nineteen which is an infant tbqh. very fun interview here

Q8: What would you tell someone who’s about to listen to your music for the first time?

A: Eat something really sour, maybe buy some poppers, cover yourself in spray-on glitter and go for a run in an empty street in the middle of the night. If you put enough glitter on it will float around you as you sprint along the dimly lit path. If going out isn’t an option, spin around in your bedroom - I will not judge you, this is a safe space.

-

reading

this is the part that’s going to have to come later bc i did read a lesbian romance novel and it was a lot

-

watching

im sitting on a lot of Andor thoughts until the season finishes and these thoughts finish percolating in my brain. i dont know that i super love the dropping-three-episodes-at-once style they’re going with but i suppose it makes sense as an artistic statement and its probably a good compromise between vomiting up the entire season at once and the normal weekly tv appointment of the first season.

anyway! everything is happening so much. just a really effective television show that would not work in any other format. thank you tony gilroy for my life.

i have very little interest in watching Skeleton Crew, the live action show with a gaggle of elementary schoolers, or the Mandalorian movie. i know why that’s coming to theaters (it will make a billion dollars) but it feels like it should be direct to VHS, especially with that show’s stated and explicit lack of interest in any sort of overarching storyline. if star wars was good i wouldn’t feel so strongly about it.

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playing

nervous about two things in genshin 1) the next update which will have some Lore and 2) the next big map update coming soonish which is supposed to wrap up a lot of loose ends before we go into the last of the seven nations and kick off the endgame. it feels like they’re stalling and im genuinely not sure why. i don’t follow a lot of things as they’re actively coming out, and genshin has been in my brain on and off since about the start of the pandemic, so thinking about it ending (even if that end is about three or four years off) feels very strange!

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making

potion of vanilla extract for the local crew (and perhaps coworkers?) christmas gifts. i will hopefully be flying back to the east coast to spend some sort of winter holiday with my siblings and i want to simplify the larger local friend group gift process which has, to be so for real, stressed me the fuck out these past two years. thinking about making those beeswax food wraps from a giant pile of thrifted nice linen handkerchiefs and including them in the gift bag bc i could play around with different dyeing techniques. however that would be an EXTREMELY crunchy granola gift for south texas lmao

had a very funny interaction at the liquor store bc i rolled up, told the alarmingly beautiful cashier “im making vanilla extract-“ and he held up one finger, silently led me behind a row of coolers to a corner of the store i did not know existed, and handed me this bottle of their most $7 rotgut liter of 40% vodka.

[rot-room]

6-23-23

I feel like i am in a bad dream for the last 72 hrs. Im gonna share to document these trying times. Woke up so sick 2-3 nights ago (time does not exist rn). I thought it was usual anxiety/ssri symptoms but turned out to be much worse (food poisoning?) Was up all night on phone with mom. Next day i had shakes/chills/fever and body ache all over. Was too afraid to take my ssri for 2 days.

All of this is happening, and i was also following the news about the submarine, for some reason. Felt like a descent into insanity, me rotting in this room soaked in sweat and heart racing. Honestly, i have felt like that one scene in trainspotting:

Anxiety is unbearable because you start to fear the fear itself. The worst part of my illness aside from the crushing nausea and stomach distress was the fear that came with it. I have severe emetophobia. The worst part of my anxiety is that it never stops. I am constantly afraid. I am afraid of being afraid, i am afraid of losing control. It is a never-ending cycle. The last two nights i fell asleep with my mom on the line. Just to be safe. She yelled at me two days ago and i cried like a child. A sick child. Sobbing and shaking in pain and making it worse for myself and none of the 'grown ups' in my life being gentle with me while i feel like i wounded bird. i called the nurse hotline and she put me thru to a doctor. The nurse seemed like she thought i was dying. I did too, as i originally thought i had serotonin syndrome. The doctor was very nice, she told me i am Not dying, and i can keep taking my meds. I am grateful for the doctor on the phone for being gentle with me, as i was crying while we talked.

I have been playing a moth game to keep me distracted and i love it, nd i have become even more fascinated with caterpillars and moths

woke up last night at 3am having a panic attack. The worst part is, once i start having a panic attack i start to panic about how i am panicking.

My heart was beating so hard and i could anticipate the nausea and tingly face that would come with it but i knew if i kept this cycle up i will die. I can't even say for sure how much of my sickness was sickness and how much was a fear response. It all started to blend together into one big nightmare.

i thought for once, hey i will actually do something productive instead of crumbling apart like a million shards of broken short circuited machinery thats frantically thrashing and quivering and oozing toxic waste.

so i took some deep breaths. the 4-7-8 deep breaths. and miraculously within a few minutes my heart was slowing down. that really is the biggest culprit for me; the racing heart. It is the poisoned root that opens the pandoras box of symptoms. The nausea the shaking the salivating the tingling the hyperventilating. If i can slow the racing heart i can cut off those symptoms before they spiral out of control. And i stopped it. It was hard because i took gravol before and i was in a half-coma state. Trying to calm a panic attack while drowsy is very very scary. But i did it. And i had two other panic attacks today. And i stopped them myself. Now that i was so sick i feel like i stood in the gates of hell and the most comforting thing to tell myself when i am panicking is, "whats the worst that can happen?" Because the worst part of all of it, was the fear. The anxiety spiralling out of control. The sickness was horrible on its own but the fear only exacerbated it. I need to get a hold on it.

this battle with anxiety and panic disorder controls my life. sometimes more than other times. I dont keep many secrets and i am an open book, but nobody in my life except maybe my mother will ever know the extent to which my GAD and panic disorder and emetophobia(and presumably OCD) controls me. I am dying. I am dying at work i am dying when i am with my friends, when i am laughing i am dying when i am sleeping i am dying. Because of my fear and panic. I cannot do it anymore. I need to win. I can do it. I cannot spiral anymore. I am not alive i am surviving. I am more afraid and alert than a caveman hiding from predators millions of years ago. I feel everything constantly. All the pain all the fear i feel it all.

I have seen this photo more in the last three days than i have seen another human, eaten food, got out of bed,

When i look at this, i see a lovecraftian monster. I dont wanna talk about current events but sometimes things happen and i fixate on them when i am already in a dark place and this is one of them. Maybe its because i am so afraid right now, and i cant think of anything more terrifying than being in a tiny tube in the bottom of the ocean that implodes in on itself. The last three days i have been sick and i have not left my bed and i have not eaten and i have been scared to take my meds and i have gone back and forth from my bed and a cold shower. I have panicked so much. Such catastrophe, such fear. It lives inside of me. I dont know if i have anything poetic to say about the sub. I have just been morbidly obsessing over the situation and it felt like something i needed to mention in my memoir of the last fucked up three days. when i think of this transitional, dark time i will think of the sub, and vice versa. Rest in peace Suleman.

I watched Bound (1996) last night on the couch in the dark, it was on cable. I loved this movie so much. It felt like a light in the darkness. I hope one day i can have a girlfriend. I hope girls are real. That sure would be cool.

I hope i can get better. I really, really want to. If i do not stop being afraid i will die. I will die anyway but, the fear will kill me much too soon and very painfully. I cannot live like this forever. And i won't, because I am brave and i have lived to tell everything up until now. I will be okay. I will be okay. I will be okay. I love you, i forgive you, thank you.