#//Distrusting that anyone would take him or his Purpose seriously if he told them of his conflict; or worse; would react so BADLY to his

[dutybcrne]

Mulling over the idea of Kae in the Abyss verse slowly transforming into an Abyss herald or smth bc of the influence of all the Abyssal energy he'd absorbed and used, but instead of simply accepting it; he's utterly terrified and the Instant someone, anyone, finds him partway corrupted, him just Immediately reaching out to them so desperately, pride be damned, and begging them in tears to stay, to not leave him alone, like a child craving solace in the face of thunder-

[bluestar22x]

I think I've mentioned before that I was a little annoyed at Maria's attitude in the dining hall scene (because I felt like she was antagonizing Joel, purposely trying to rile him up, not because she was being "mean" to him - he deserves some distrust and he's a grown man), but yeah, she was just going off what Tommy told her he became and any sane person would be wary of Joel after that.

I've also said mad respect to her for letting Joel into town anyway because it would've been soooo easy for her to just tell Joel and Ellie to keep going and never tell Tommy that Joel showed up.

I don't see why anyone has an issue with her disarming Joel and Ellie. Their town; their rules. If my rule to enter my house is no guns, I can do that too. It's my property. It's a safety issue. Jackson's guarded. They don't need their weapons.

And yeah, the biggest issue that started this all was Tommy didn't send Joel one last message, even if vague, to tell him he was no longer going to message him. Joel wouldn't have liked it, but I doubt he'd crossed the country if he knew Tommy was still safe, just didn't want to contact him anymore. Sure Maria had been pushing Tommy to stop messaging him since Tommy moved to Jackson (he only took her more seriously once she became pregnant - that's when the threat of outsiders finding their location because of the calls became more worrying for him) but Tommy was the one who decided to go the cold turkey route without any explanation. (Because he'd felt his brother had lost his humanity - he looked so confused and pleasantly surprised to be greeted by Joel so emotionally during their reunion scene).

Sidenote: I love Tommy but he does point fingers at Joel more than he should. It's why Maria does it. Ellie calls it out. Tommy was a grown man. He followed Joel by choice; just as it was his choice to leave (BTW I don't blame him for leaving - if it's not your lifestyle, you get out of there, even if it hurts - he did make an effort to keep in contact with Joel after for a long time - he still cared).

But it's human nature to point fingers and it was easier to pin his own feelings of guilt on the older sibling than really take ownership of them (he's scared of what it says about himself since Tommy has stronger morals than Joel), especially since he never thought Joel would make it to Jackson. What harm would there be if he told people Joel would never meet he dragged him into all that? He didn't want people afraid of him; he didn't want to face his role in the past. Better they were afraid of a man they weren't supposed to ever know. Better he leave that as bad memories.

do yall ever think about how if MAIRA hadn’t recognized joel as tommy’s brother and vouched for them to come in, they might’ve not even made in into jackson????? certainly not that quick, and maybe not together???? do y’all really think jackson just lets heavily armed grown men walk around town with a twelve year old who obviously has a glock in her jacket pocket???? and ur mad they were disarmed for two days????? what did y’all expect her and the rest of jackson to do??????

then yall claim she’s the sole reason tommy and joel are kept apart as if the FIRST THING she does as a character is bring them back together. make it make sense

[caelestis-composition]

killshot anon! YEAH i totally agree w/ your view on kaeya. it's so weird to me that people will blame him for his role in a situation he was forced into as a child through no choice of his own. that itself had to be traumatic, not to mention everything that happened later. i hate when people say he's untrustworthy - like yeah, he's lied, so has everyone? it's clear he does it mostly to protect himself. not to mention that (& sadism) can be symptoms of trauma. kaeya deserves nothing but happiness

take a seat folks it’s time for a “brynn should’ve been an english major” lesson! today we’re gonna learn some literary theory; specifically, we’re gonna apply psychoanalytical trauma theory to kaeya’s backstory and current character. killshot anon i bet you never thought this would result in a whole ass essay.

disclaimer one! you are allowed to dislike kaeya! i am not saying you need to like him or his character, you’re entitled to your opinion and i’m not here to change your mind.

disclaimer two! i am in no way an expert and this is all for fun! this is just my silly little analysis of one of my favorite characters as someone who’s studied literary theory and rhetoric and can also apply personal experience. seriously analysis is like a hobby to me and this is just an excuse for me to ramble about kaeya.

disclaimer three! this contains lots of spoilers! basically for everything we know in-game, general knowledge as well as stuff from his voicelines and character story. don’t read this if you don’t want spoilers.

since this is going to be filled with spoilers and is about to get really long, everything will be under a cut. for those who wanna read my dumb super informal essay: enjoy!

final note: yeah this is over 2000 words long can you tell i like analysis

⭒

let’s start by getting a quick rundown of trauma theory out of the way. to begin, what is “trauma?” in this case, trauma is going to refer to an experience that greatly affects and changes one’s life; attitudes, memories, behaviors, mental state, etc. while not all changes may be bad, per se, the overall effect of trauma is generally a negative one, which is why it’s so significant. literary trauma theory, then, explores these changes and the impact of trauma in literature. it analyzes the psychological and social effects of trauma, explaining what those effects are and why they happen. in the context of a specific character, trauma theory breaks down said character’s behaviors, feelings, and general mentality in relation to their past experiences; trauma theory hopes to explain to others the reasons for why a character may act or feel the way they do, all based upon the character’s experiences, particularly traumatic ones. our character today is the lovely kaeya alberich, with the “literature” being genshin impact. i’ll be referencing kaeya’s wiki page to ensure i get all details correct for his character story and voicelines.

it would be good to review kaeya’s backstory before delving into the actual analysis. though we don’t know much about his life before living in mondstadt, we’re told he was sent as an agent of khaenri’ah. and by “sent,” i mean his biological father abandoned him in a completely unfamiliar land to serve khaenri’ah’s interests and fullfil his mission—what this entirely entails hasn’t been revealed. mondstadt, however, welcomed kaeya “with open arms when they found him.” crepus ragnvindr took him in as his adopted son, with diluc as his adopted brother. kaeya and diluc were “almost like twins,” so close they “[knew] each other’s thoughts and intentions without a word.” he’d began a new life in mondstadt, one surrounded by friends and family that loved him; one that was completely shattered by crepus’s death. kaeya arrived at the scene of the disaster, and was led to believe diluc was the one who killed their father to “set his father free” from the effects of his delusion. there’d always been one big question in kaeya’s life: if it came down to it, who would he support? the nation that abandoned him, but he still felt loyal to, or the nation and family that took him in and really loved him? overrun with guilt, kaeya confessed his purpose to diluc, sparking a fight between the two brothers. in this fight, kaeya receives his cryo vision. though both brothers stepped away alive, they’ve never been able to make peace with one another. now, kaeya is the eccentric and charming cavalry captain of the knights of favonius; a man who gets his way by using any means necessary, regardless of whether or not it seems right.

kaeya’s not evil; he’s morally ambiguous, and that stems from what appears to be a general distrust of others. his life is one shrouded in secrecy. from the moment he stepped foot into mondstadt, he was surrounded by secrets. even now, he doesn’t talk about a lot of things, namely his past, vision, and feelings. though he’s always willing to get information out of others, kaeya never reveals anything about himself. he repeatedly tells the player they can confide in him, but whenever you try and pry into his life, he deflects your questions with some sort of witty comment or flirty remark. anything he does reveal is vague, or spoken in some sort of “code.” for example, his “interesting things” voiceline. he tells us about the owl of dragonspine, how it “seems to look right through you, while letting go of none of its own secrets,” and then tacks on a “quite fascinating, don’t you think?” it seems like an awfully accurate parallel to himself; kaeya does all he can to get information from others, but never gives anything about himself. now, this whole thing—his relationship with diluc falling apart and his need for secrecy—could have probably been avoided if he had just come clean about his mission years ago. so why didn’t he? to start, kaeya was a literal child. not only are children unable to properly tell the difference between right and wrong, but they’ll also typically follow their parents’ orders blindly. kaeya had just been abandoned, and he wouldn’t want to risk being cast out by mondstadt as well if he came clean right away. you see, there’s this thing about trauma, something that trauma theory states. traumatized people feel a sort of shame or guilt regarding their traumatic experience; they’ll keep quiet because they don’t want to cause problems or bother others with their issues. of course kaeya wouldn’t tell the truth about his past, he doesn’t want to destroy the genuinely loving relationships he’d built in mondstadt. his fight with diluc only proves what he was afraid of: if he’s honest, he’ll be abandoned again. and if kaeya’s used to all the lies, why should he bother changing?

another thing, if he’s not going to tell the truth, then why would he have initially gone along with his father’s plans? again, he was a child. he really had no choice, and was forced into a very wrong and cruel situation. there’s a good explanation for this, too, which is also stated in trauma theory; traumatized people will still do their best to please their abusers. especially if said abuser is a parent, that will drive traumatized people to work even harder to please them. although his father hurt him by ruthlessly abandoning him, kaeya still sought to make him and his homeland proud. he was willing to be used as a tool for their gain; that is, until he found people who actually cared about him. he was an impressionable child, of course he’s going to obey orders. but as he gets older, he feels torn. does he serve those who abandoned him, or those that took him in? his father—and arguably, khaenri’ah as a whole—hurt him, sure, but he still feels some loyalty and connection to his former home. instead of revealing anything, he lets the situation play out. that way, he can’t be blamed when things fall apart.

the thing about claiming he’s untrustworthy is that hardly anyone in-game believes that. he’s adored by the older folks in mondstadt, and foes and allies alike find him easy to talk to. despite seeming lazy and uninterested in work, kaeya takes his job very seriously. in fact, his story states that crepus’s death was the “first and only time kaeya failed in his duty.” the “only time” is especially important, because it signifies kaeya still fulfills his duties successfully. he’s had a total of one slip-up, and hasn’t failed since. no, kaeya is not untrustworthy. rather, kaeya finds everyone else untrustworthy. it’s not unlikely that this is a direct consequence of being abandoned as a child. although it’s been established that kaeya and diluc were very close as children, when crepus dies, kaeya assumes diluc is the one that killed him. in order to jump to such an extreme conclusion against someone he was so close to, there had to be some underlying sense of distrust. furthermore, kaeya expresses feeling as though he doesn’t belong anywhere. he was abandoned by khaenri’ah, and then worried he wouldn’t be accepted by mondstadt. he is, but there’s still that worry. if you place him in your teapot as a companion, he tells you that your home feels like someplace he belongs, following it up with a “heh, who’d have thought…” kaeya still feels as though he doesn’t belong in mondstadt; despite the fact that he’s a high-ranking knight of favonius and rather popular, he still feels like an outsider. he doesn’t trust that anyone actually wants him around, and he finds joy in testing peoples’ trustworthiness. it’s noted in his story and through his voicelines that the beloved cavalry captain has a rather sadistic nature. he likes putting people into difficult situations, to see what decisions they will make. he does this to both opponents and allies, testing to see who’s going to back out and who’ll keep fighting; in the sake of allies, who can he trust? or who will turn tail and abandon their teammates at the slightest hint of danger? i mentioned it previously, but kaeya doesn’t care what measures he has to take so long as his job gets done and he gets the answers he wants. it’s a sort of self-preserving mindset, putting himself above the safety of others. kaeya’s trying to protect himself, which makes sense with all he’s been through. he doesn’t want to be hurt, and instead finds pleasure in threatening harm upon others. it’s twisted, sure, but it’s because he can only trust himself in a world that he believes is out to get him. he’s got as many enemies—if not more—as he does allies; of course kaeya focuses on protecting himself first, whether physically or through keeping his secrets, well, secret.

his most obvious traumatic effect is definitely his alcoholism. but he uses it as a distraction, not just to wallow in self-pity. this is seen again in his story, particularly in story 3. it’s found that when his favorite drink, death after noon, is out of season, mondstadt’s crime rate is decreased drastically. at face value, this just means kaeya spends more time working when death after noon is low in supply. but kaeya doesn’t skip work to go to taverns; it’s already been established he takes his job very seriously, so this means he actually patrols and tracks down threats while off work when he can’t indulge in his favorite alcoholic drink. he doesn’t get drunk simply because he’s depressed. if he did, there wouldn’t be a drop in incidents when death after noon is out of season. no, kaeya uses both the alcohol and fighting to distract himself. after all, it’s a little hard to think about feeling sad when you’re either drunk out of your mind or fighting for your life.

despite being so secretive, kaeya gives us glimpses of his true emotions from time to time. as previously mentioned, his flirty attitude is nothing more than a mask to hide how he really feels; and kaeya is terribly, terribly lonely. that may be why he seems so extroverted. constantly being around people should, logically, drive away that feeling, but it doesn’t work like that. when he talks with the player, he frequently expresses disappointment when you have to leave. each time, though, he dampens the weight of his words with playful or flirty language. he’s lonely, but doesn’t want you to know that, like he’s afraid of asking you to stay. he takes the seriousness of his feelings, and basically bends it into some sort of lighthearted joke. kaeya hides his true feelings—negative feelings, to be exact—so that he doesn’t bother anyone. which is, again, something that happens with traumatized people. he displays that hesitance to reveal his true feelings, because there’s a shame or guilt that comes with his past. he doesn’t want to bother others or hold them back, so he puts on a smile and amps up the charisma. one other very important thing—but very small detail—i would like to note is his feelings toward family. his fell apart not even once, but twice, and kaeya still holds familial relationships in high regard. we know he doesn’t exactly care how he goes about getting his work done. he doesn’t pay attention to what’s “right” or “wrong,” so long as he gets what he needs. but one of his informants, vile, notes that the cavalry captain has one exception: he won’t work with those who threaten others’ families. in fact, kaeya claims those who do should be hunted down and destroyed. even though his own families have caused him so much pain—and he ended up estranged from both—he still understands the importance of having people who love you in your life. because he didn’t get that.

kaeya’s not evil. ultimately, as a knight of favonius, his goal is to protect others, because no one was there to protect him. and because no one was there to protect him, because he’s been hurt time and time again by people who were supposed to love him, kaeya has taken to protecting himself. he hides any and all negative feelings with a charismatic, friendly façade, because he thinks it’ll drive away his persistent loneliness. any “bad” actions of his were hardly his fault; he was forced into a life of secrecy and lies, and then abandoned by the first people who truly loved him. kaeya’s a multi-faceted, tragic character, one that toes the line between good and evil, and that’s what makes him so interesting.

[barbarianprncess]

is there a reason you’re blushing like that !!!!

i actually loved writing this so thank you for the prompt!

forever house

read on ao3

or

“Mom, I’m home!” Percy calls distractedly into their apartment as he wrestles with his skateboard.

“Hi honey,”  Sally answers from the couch, and he can hear the smile in her voice when she says “There's a surprise for you in your bedroom.” He furrows his brow and hurries upstairs. He opens his bedroom door expecting cookies and is instead greeted with familiar blonde hair and a bed overrun with papers far too complicated to be his own. He can’t help the smile that overtakes his face at the sight of his girlfriend, still in her Catholic school uniform.

“Hey!” He leans over his bedspread being very careful not to wrinkle her designs to plant a kiss on her cheek. “How’s my favorite genius?”

“Hey Percy.” Annabeth is currently scrambling to get her papers in order, which he finds odd because usually when he calls her a genius she’ll smile and kiss him extra gently. And then she only needs a little prodding and he can get her to explain what she's working on. She gets this crinkle in the corner of her eyes when she talks about her projects and gesticulates wildly to get him to understand. It’s awesome.

But right now, Annabeth is beet red, eyes manic, and piling papers with a vengeance. He’s not entirely sure what’s happening but Annabeths got this look in her eye- like one wrong move and she’s gonna bolt. “What’re you working on?”

“Nothing!” She says voice cracking in a way that clues him in on the fact that the subject of her stress but her work. Which Percy finds ridiculous because he may not understand the nuanced and complicated world of design, but Annabeth’s smarter than anyone, she’ll figure whatever it is out. Annabeth gets like this sometimes- ADHD fixation and her need for perfection is a combo that doesn’t mix well and in the months that they’ve been dating, there have been more than a few times when Percy had to loosen her fistes curled around her designs in frustration, and talk her down from a panic attack because Apollo didn’t love his statue. Percy hates that her work does that to her, but he likes taking care of her.

“Annabeth,” He says slowly, hands already positioned to relieve her of the designs that she managed to wrangle in her lap, but she bats them away.

“No, no it's not- I’m not.” She looks up at him and her eyes soften at his concern. “I’m fine, seriously I’m not stuck on anything.” Percy raises his eyebrows skeptically.

“Sooo… is there a reason you’re blushing like that?” Annabeth's hands fly up to her neck as if she can stop the flush of her skin from the outside. Which is a mistake on her part because Percy immediately grabs the blueprint she was so desperately trying to hide. She lunges for it, causing the remaining papers to fall forgotten on the floor, but Percy's growth spurt, along with the angle she’s sitting on his bed, makes it so he’s able to keep her at bay.

“Percy!! Give it back, oh my gods, I’m gonna kill you!” He’s heard that before and he’s still breathing so, he takes his chances. He makes out the words “Forever House: Annabeth Chase”, and a vague sketch of what looks like a shoreline. He catches Montauk and something about support beams when Annabeth finally succeeds in snatching the paper from him. She’s flushing even harder now, and her hands are covering her face.

“Which of the gods are asking for a forever house?” He laughs until he notices Annabeth shaking her head and she lets out a muffled ‘none of ‘em’ from behind her hands.

“Hey, hey Annabeth.” He says softly poking at her sides and pinching at her cheeks (he gets mostly fingers because she’s still covering her face but, all the better to grab her hands with). She sighs and lets him take her hands and sit on the edge of the bed, still not meeting his eyes. He squeezes the fingers in his grasp, a silent promise not to make fun of her, and she takes a deep breath and forces out an explanation.

“Well, a couple weeks ago, while I was waiting for you to get out of school, me and your mom talked for a while and she mentioned some of your trips to Montauk and how much you loved them, and we were looking at pictures and she mentioned how you always said you wanted to live there, right on the beach when you got older, and inspiration kinda struck and I started sketching out your hypothetical beach house. And I guess subconsciously, your beach house became a version of…. the forever house.”

Now, Percy’s heard of the hypothetical ‘forever house’ before. Annabeth had told him once about her favorite theoretical place, created when she was little. Having lost every person and place she was told to call home, caused a deep distrust for anywhere she lived in the future. (He doesn’t blame her, he’s not sure he could ever trust anything if he went through what she went through before Luke turned to Kronos- let alone everything she went through after.) So to cope, in her head she’d design a house that she’d build when she was older- now known as the forever house. She told him she daydreamed about building it, how it’d be open and bright with huge windows so she’d never feel alone again. But, despite its openness, it’d be sturdy and rooted in place. The design and location changed over time but it always had big windows and it was always immobile. And no matter what happend, that house would be her ‘something permanent’. Her forever house.

As what she was saying registered, Percy’s smile grew impossibly wide. Annabeth must’ve assumed he was laughing at her and deflated. “I know, it’s stupid and creepy just forget it ok I didn’t mean-”

He let go of her hands as she rambled and cut her off with a kiss. He wasn’t sure how to articulate what he was feeling with words, so he let his body speak for him. His thumb swipes at her cheek (I’m sorry that you had to build a house in your head because the people that were supposed to love you didn’t, it wasn’t your fault, thank you for trusting me anyway), he runs fingers through her hair (It’s an honor to be a part of your future, I’m going to care about you, on purpose, for as long as you’ll let me), he tilts up her chin to deepen the kiss (I love you, all of you).  

When they part he rests his forehead on hers and allows himself a minute to be in awe of her. He learned a long time ago that Annabeth was brave. But after learning so many of the intimate details of her past, he thinks that her ability to love at all is an act of bravery. Everytime she tells him a secret, or holds his hand, or lets him walk through one of her walls is an act of rebellion. To love Annabeth is to be in awe of her relentless courage.  

“Thank you.” He whispers. He doesn’t clarify what for and she doesn’t ask. She just smiles something small and says, “You’re welcome.”

He kisses her forehead because he can and half-laughs out, “You made me a house.”

“Ugh.” She buries her head in his shoulder bites at his collarbone in annoyance. “I hate you.”

“No you don’t, you love me, you know how I know?”

“I’m begging you to shut up.”

“Because you made me a house!” He says gleefully into her hair.

Annabeth shoves him back on the bed and he pulls her down with him. She half on top of him, face buried in his chest when she retorts,

“I made us a house.”

He hopes she doesn’t mind when his arms tighten around her. It’s instinct. And a necessity. And when he whispers i love you into her hair, it's a silent promise. A promise to do anything and everything possible to get them to that house one day. From the way she smiles into his shirt, she’s gonna do the same.

[otomeramblings]

My thoughts on Act 2, Episode 5

Yes, I’m incredibly late to the party. It took me longer than I thought to finally be able to finish reading Ep 5 BUT here it is! I’m gonna try to summarize my initial reactions and how I feel about the main plot points here both for myself and for anyone that wants to read them.

Long post under the cut!

One small thing I want to mention before delving into the big stuff: seeing all the boys starting new stages in their lives was honestly super heartwarming; they’ve grown so much both as individuals and together as a company (and as friends), and it was a delight to see it. As a fan of small details, I loved to see that the conversation Banri and Yuki had in “Into the Night!” (about him taking acting seriously and maybe going to college to bring back the knowledge to the company) was reflected in his choice of going to Veludo Arts University.

But anyway! There’s 3 main things I want to talk about in regards to this episode:

First up is Masumi’s arc:

Hooooo boy, I hadn’t been this angry about a fictional parent since we learned about Misumi’s family. I think the main thing that irked me a lot about his dad was how little regard he seemed to have for his son as an actual human being. Especially because of how hypocritical it sounded when his secretary said stuff like "Mr Usui is concerned about you living without a parental figure for so long" because we all know that Masumi has been living basically on his own for a long time and the excuse of "Masumi has only been living in Japan this long due to his parent's desire to keep his environment as stable as possible while they were married" felt super empty because yeah, right, coming back to an empty home every day is the healthiest way to raise a child, it surely can’t affect his well-being and his sense of worth in any way.

Masumi saying "I thought it might make them happy if i got good grades or did well in sports, so I tried my best, but...nothing ever changed"  and the story about him begging his parents to come to the show and tell and his dad's response was just "Listen to your parents, that's all we want from you" was so heartbreaking. It made me incredibly angry but it also helped me understand Masumi as a character a lot more; no wonder he has attachment issues (which are mainly centred around Izumi/the MC) and his constant need for validation, he just wants people to be there for him and be proud of his accomplishments. He just wants a family but his parents were just too busy to even give a crap. 

Also, in relation to Izumi: I think he still needs to learn that the obsession he has with her is not healthy (and hopefully one day he can grow out of it) but it's clear that he doesn't do it to purposely make her uncomfortable; he's misguided and he doesn't know how to deal and express the affection he feels towards one of the people that genuinely cares about him. Also I'm not saying that he doesn't have a crush on her, I think he does but he behaves this way because he never learned how to express his feelings in a healthy way and he's probably scared someone "could take her away" at any moment because boy hasn't he had to deal with people going again a lot already.

About Masumi’s grandma: love her, she’s a darling and she clearly cares for her grandson’s well being. One thing she mentions is that her son changed when his company found success, and like, I get that he needs to put time and effort to keep his company afloat but like. not even considering what your son wants and feels? Maybe talking to him every once in a while? Being busy it's not an excuse; your son shouldn't have to wonder if his parents love him. But this also ties to the end of Masumi’s arc when his father finally lets him stay in Japan: I'm glad that Masumi's father apologised and realised the error of his ways, it doesn't undo the years of loneliness Masumi had to endure because of it, but it's a start.

Final thoughts on Masumi’s arc: 10/10 would read it again for the feels. I really loved the depth they gave him and how they made him realise that Mankai (not just Izumi) are important to him because they’re his precious family and he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. One little moment after that warmed my heart was when Izumi tells Masumi that she's glad that he's been taking care of Tsuzuru while he's busy writing and he answers with "I mean, he is...family",,,,,,,,,,,I’m not crying, you’re crying. I hope we can get more moments with him in the future that are centred around his personality, his likes and dislikes, and his relationships with the other boys.

In second place, Chikage’s introduction and arc.

Let's see. I knew coming in that Chikage was a controversial character within the fandom and I knew the main reason why because of spoilers, but I didn’t know all the details. Also, something you should know about me is that I found morally grey characters interesting, so that made it so I went into this with an open mind.

Overall, I liked the episode and I ended up linking Chikage as a character well enough. But I’m not gonna lie and say that everything was perfect. The biggest issue I had with his arc was the way they handled his relationship with Izumi/the MC, especially in regards to the kidnapping. I’m usually pretty good at putting a dividing line between fiction and real life, which is what allows me to enjoy villains and morally grey characters; but as a woman who grew up with my mom saying “never leave your drink/food unattended”, seeing it done here and then having it go unpunished really left a bad taste in my mouth; because every girl grows up hearing this (and i know this is a problem that affects all genders) and it’s horrible because it has happened to so many people. So my biggest gripe about this part of his arc is the consequences, or more so the lack of them.

The only things that made it a bit more acceptable *for me* were three things:

This line from Izumi: "What Chikage's done is unforgivable. But I can't just ignore August's dying wish and Hisoka's thoughts on the matter." I have some mixed feelings about it but It just aligns with Izumi’s personality; she’s always been portrayed as incredibly selfless and giving, someone who’s ridiculously kind (to a fault) and who always tries to see the best in people and puts others before herself (and also because ~plot~ demands it, but that’s a thing with a lot of media these days) Do I wish she had been angry and wary towards Chikage after having been drugged and kidnapped? Yes, I do, it would have been nice to have a portion of the story dedicated to Chikage having to earn her trust back because what he did really was not okay.

Sakuya’s conversation with Chikage when he tries to leave after opening night and in particular these two lines from Sakuya: "This isn't about the play....for some reason, I get the feeling we shouldn't leave you alone right now" [...] "You're different now. I can tell you're broken and hurting. I feel like you've lost your way." Regardless of personal feelings, I think Chikage showed that he really was shaken by the weight of his own actions after he found out the truth. He knows that what he did was wrong and that’s why his emotions and all his guilt were crushing him all at once. He was driven by revenge and anger for so long that once he learned and accepted the truth, he completely lost himself. And seeing him have to deal with all of that made me really glad, because even if he’s not gonna have to deal with external consequences (aka having to deal with the rest of the company’s distrust, even though I wish he did), he still had to find a way to not only forgive himself but also to atone in his own way for what he did (aka putting down his walls, fulfilling his promises and making it his mission to protect everyone at mankai from the organisation) 

Now, as I’ve been saying, I really wish Chikage had been able to tell the others the whole story about what he did and why he did it but…..we didn’t get that. What I am glad about, though, is that at least he told them that he took her away on purpose (even if he didn’t tell them how or why); also both he and Hisoka pointed out that anyone who knows the full truth about their lives could be in serious danger and that having Izumi know was already risky enough. And yes, that is indeed very plot convenient but it’s the bare minimum and I’m willing to give it a pass this time.

tl;dr I think Chikage is an interesting character that has a lot of potential and I have hopes that he will get some more development in future events. BUT, I really think they could have handled his arc in this episode a lot better.

Now, all that said, if you still couldn’t bring yourself to forgive or look past what he did and you still don’t like him: no one can force you to like him after the things he did since it can be very triggering for a lot of people, so remember that your feelings are totally valid.

In third place and in relation to Chikage’s arc, I also have to mention Hisoka and the development he got as a result.

The only thing that bugged me in relation to Hisoka was that even though I knew he couldn't because of ~plot~ (and probably because part of him is still unsure about what he didn't remember and how it could affect the others even if he did say that the person he was before didn't matter anymore) but I really wished he had told anyone "hey so like......Chikage said some weird stuff to me just now and I might need help" because their first 1 to 1 confrontation was a threat if I've ever seen one.

But yeah, other than that I really love that we not only finally got to learn about his past, but also we got a good foundation for his development in the future regarding his interpersonal relationships with the winter troupe. The fact that he couldn’t remember who he was has been a point of conflict in the past and this brings that issue to a close in the sense that he is willing to tell them (part of) the truth once he sorts things out. And I loved loved how the trust Hisoka has in them is the direct result of all the ups and downs that the winter troupe has gone through so far in learning to open up to each other. I know they said during nocturnality that they’re not a family in the same sense the spring troupe is, but I honestly disagree; they way in which they’ve come to rely on each other shows how strong their bond is.

[firemblem-fics]

parents? PT. 1 | claude

firstly this is the longest thing ive ever written yay

secondly, this is only a part one. this is kind of introducing it! the good stuff will happen in part two i promise just give me a bit! thank u 

Warnings: cursing, death, angst, claudes an asshole but also so are you at times, Claude makes a jab at single parenting just for the sake of the story I’m sorry

— — —

The village was in ruins. Nobody was spared in the fire as three demonic beasts rampaged through the rubble. The Golden Deer house fought valiantly to save everybody, but oftentimes such a thing simply could not happen. The beasts were too strong, knocking out four of the team’s own fighters before they finally defeated them. 

Many people, like Marianne, were visibly distraught at such a tremendous loss. She was being comforted by Lysithea, who only held a rather troubled look in her eyes. Ignatz seemed crestfallen as well, as did some others. You, on the other hand, were rather angry. You were furious at the destruction around you. The fires, the destroyed homes, the lost lives. 

It was under Claude’s leadership that these people weren’t saved. The professor was dealing with other matters, so she couldn’t be there to lead. Mistakes were made and they cost people their lives. You’d never truly cared for the boy, finding his “schemes” and his cocky and nosy personality rather annoying, but this was the icing on the cake for you.

Bristling in anger, you marched over to said boy, pointing a harsh finger into his chest. “This is YOUR fault.”

“My fault?” Claude nearly laughed. “Yeah, sure, some things happened, but that's what happens in battle, Y/N. This was a collective failure.” 

“Those things cost people their lives, Claude. I can’t believe you’re so inconsiderate.”

Claude’s eyes lit up a little in frustration. “I'm inconsiderate? As if I didn’t try my hardest to save everyone? I’m new at leading. I’m only 17, if you don’t fucking remember. It’s not like I knew this was going to happen-“

A loud wail interrupted him. You furrowed your brows, looking at Claude before turning and looking around. 

“What’s that?” 

Claude shrugged, “A survivor, I hope.” 

You ignored him and ran in the direction of the noise, stopping at a charred house. The fire had stopped, but the crying hadn’t. As you walked inside the burnt skeleton of the house, you hoped that the fire didn’t seriously hurt someone. They’d have trouble making it back to the monastery to be healed. 

Another cry sounded as you moved into another room of the house. There, underneath a small, wooden-framed bed, laid a child. He was no older than 6, tears making trails down his ash-covered face. You kneeled down, trying to make yourself less intimidating to coax him out. 

“Hey buddy,” You reached a hand out, internally grimacing as the little boy flinched away, “We’re not here to hurt you. We need to get you somewhere safe.” 

The little boy looked around. “Wh-where is everybody?” 

Your heart broke and you looked back at Claude, who had followed you, your eyes pleading for help. He sighed and knelt down beside you. “They all had to leave. It was really, really dangerous so they had to keep you safe. We’re here now to keep you even safer.”

That seemed to have calmed the little boy down at least a little. He slowly and shakily walked towards you. You held out both arms, silently asking to pick him up. He obliged and nearly crawled into you and you wrapped yourself tightly around him, whispering reassurances as he sat on your hip. You looked at Claude next, your face asking, “What the hell do we do?” 

Claude only shrugged and walked back to the rest of the team, leaving you to trail slowly behind. You’d take him back to the monastery and go from there. The orphanage was rather full- there was no way they’d be able to care for another one. 

--- --- ---

“We can’t help him in the way that you’re asking, Y/N. I apologize.” 

Your heart dropped. Rhea had asked you to talk to the lady at the orphanage anyways, hoping that she would be able to accept him. Unfortunately, she couldn’t. 

“Then what’s the purpose of an orphanage?” You didn’t want to yell seeing as the boy- August, you’d learned- was sleeping on your hip. “Aren’t you supposed to take in kids? Help them? Raise them? He’s lost everything. And now he can’t even get a home?” 

The lady only sighed. “I’m really sorry. He wouldn’t be getting the attention that you’re asking me to provide. I’ve got other children to tend to.” She went to walk away, but then stopped. “Just keep him to yourself if you’re that worried about him.” She huffed, slamming the door closed behind her.

Keeping him? You thought. I wouldn’t be opposed, but I’ve got class. And fighting. And I’m seventeen. Ah, fuck it. My parents would love him. 

You walked away, careful not to wake August, and made your way to the audience chambers where Rhea was. You’d only hoped she’d let you take responsibility. But you’d never given her a reason not to trust you, right?

“Absolutely not.” 

Wrong. 

“What? Seteth, why not? I’m responsible.I can do it- August’s well behaved. And- and I’ve got my friends too. They can help a little. He’s not a helpless baby and he can do things on his own, he just trusts me a little more to help him.” You pleaded. At this point, you knew that nobody would take care of him. You couldn’t just leave him. 

“You’re just a child yourself, Y/N. You know nothing about raising a child.” He argued back. 

“Neither do new parents! What are you gonna do next, tell new parents that they can’t keep their first child? Please, I’m responsible. Lady Rhea, tell him I’m responsible.” You turned to the Archbishop, who was simply standing there.

“I believe this will be a good experience. Y/N has never given me any reason to distrust her.”

“Lady Rhea, this is absurd-”

“However, she has to find someone to assist her if the workload becomes too much to handle. I, on the other hand, will take a look into the orphanage to see what we can do. The only absurdity here is how they have turned away children.” 

“Thank you, Lady Rhea. I won’t disappoint you.” With that, you left the chambers and walked through the yards, ignoring the strange looks that people gave you as you headed back to the Golden Deer Classroom. August stayed on your hip with his head resting against your shoulders, his small fingers twirling your hair around. 

You stopped outside of the classroom and called the little boy’s name, waiting until he looked at you to continue. “We’re gonna go learn now, but you’ve gotta stay quiet. If you need to talk, whisper to me, okay?”

August nodded. “Yes ma’am.” 

Hm, he has manners. That’s perfect. 

You quietly opened the door, hoping that nobody would notice. Your hopes were in vain. Everyone turned around at the sound of the giant doors, their eyes moving from you to the little blonde boy on your hip. Reactions varied- Hilda practically cooed at him while Lorenz could only watch you take the only open seat with disgust. You were disgusted too, but it was because the only open seat was next to Claude. As Byleth resumed teaching, Claude slid a note over to you. 

‘Was single parenting on your bucket list?’ 

You rolled your eyes, looking over at August to make sure he wasn’t watching you write before replying. 

‘Fuck you. Rhea said that I need to have someone help me if I have trouble, and just for that comment I’ll ask for it to be you.’ 

Claude read the note and chuckled quietly, crumpling it up and putting it in his pocket. You assumed that the conversation was over, so you allowed August to crawl into your lap and lay against you to have a small nap. The poor kid had a long day, after all. This didn’t stop Claude from leaning over to you and whispering. 

“So, does that mean you’ll call me daddy?” 

You choked on your own spit suddenly, waking up August and making your other classmates look at you. Byleth turned around and gave you a look, but you could only wave them off as you kept coughing. You glared at Claude, who had a grin on his face. God, he loved watching you suffer, didn’t he?

He kept smirking at you, but lost it when you grew your own. If he was going to tease you about helping a kid, you were going to make sure he’d pay the price. As his eyebrows furrowed a little with worry, you asked, “Can you walk with me to see Lady Rhea after class?” 

--- --- ---

“Lady Rhea, I told you she wasn’t responsible enough. Look, she comes back two hours later and already requests for assistance.” 

First of all, Fuck you Seteth. Second of all, this was just revenge. 

“Okay, listen, I don’t know why I’m here either-”

“I’d like to request assistance just in case. Say I have to take a shower or do something and August can’t be with me? I’d like to be able to have someone else help care for him when I might not be able to for a bit.” You interrupted Claude. 

“What makes you think that Claude is a good candidate to help you? Why are you choosing him?” Seteth retorted. 

Spite, you wanted to say. “He’s the leader of the Golden Deer. Heir to the Alliance. He’s been able to take care of us through battles and such, how much harder could it be to help take care of one child? Even then, I’ll only need his help for a few minutes at a time.” You said. Damn, you were good at acting like you actually tolerated him. 

“Lady Rhea, Seteth, please, I don’t want-”

“Plus, would you really trust anyone else in the Golden Deer to help me?” You cut him off again. 

Claude could only glare at you as Rhea weighed her decision. You smirked before turning to check on August, who had occupied himself by spinning in circles around a column. You whispered August’s name to get his attention, holding out your hand as he came towards you. He placed his smaller hand in yours and stood patiently in between you and Claude

Rhea’s face soon bloomed into a soft smile. “Whenever you need assistance, Claude will be there.”

You thanked her and bowed, following behind the Alliance heir as he nearly stormed out of the chambers. When you got outside, he whipped around to face you. 

“What the hell was that?” He growled, “Revenge? For what, one simple comment? A little joke? And now I’m stuck waiting on you if you ‘ever need my assistance’, whatever that bullshit means.” 

You furrowed your eyebrows, pulling August close to you. “First of all, watch your language. He’s only six. Secondly, I think your comment was insensitive. You were making fun of single parents and my bucket list- which you know is a big deal for me.”

“Alright, whatever. I’m sorry for saying something about single parenting, I shouldn’t have, but I think I have the right to have an opinion about your dumb little list.”

“Claude, you don’t even know why it’s important to me, you just want a reason to make me upset-” 

“Well? You deserve to be upset. I’m upset too, because now I have to help a brat take care of a little brat. I didn’t ask for this shit.” Claude rolled his eyes and walked away. 

You stood still for a bit, watching him leave with angry tears in your eyes. You snapped out of it when a tiny hand pulled at your shirt. You looked at August. 

“Can we go ‘M sleepy.” He yawned. 

“Of course. We can go to my room and you can sleep for the rest of the night.” 

You made a mental note to grab dinner for the both of you once he was asleep and scooped him up, letting him doze off again against your shoulder as you walked back to your dorm room. The poor boy had a very rough day- and so did you. A nap sounded very nice. 

[coolcattime]

Still in the Night Part 5

Characters: Captain Capsize, Skipper Redbeard, Sonja Reid, Jordan Maron, Lady Ianite

Additional Tags: Shipwreck, Insomnia, Distrust

Description: During a long night of insomnia, Captain Capsize is alerted of a shipwreck with a survivor in the water.

Chapter Summary: Lady Ianite prepares for the return of Capsize's ship, hoping that her brother's champion hasn't managed for harm any of her followers before she could intervene.

A03 Link

Ianite

I attempt to ignore the pressing worry in my chest as I wait for the news that Capsize’s ship has arrived back in port. It shouldn’t be long now, if they haven’t arrived within an hour I’ll have to actually worry. How did one of Mianite’s champion end up aboard her ship? Jordan was vague about how he knew in the first place but I know he wouldn’t lie about something like this. Capsize found one of my brother’s champions in a shipwreck and brought her aboard. I don’t know if Mianite would have purposely left his champion in danger as part of a trap, I’d imagine such behaviour from Dianite but not him. Whether it was an intentional set up on his part or not, she will still be dangerous. Hopefully I’ve managed to intervene before anything terrible has happened. Even if I hate thinking about it, I know both my brothers would class Capsize as a high-value target in this war I’ve found myself in the middle of. Even if she doesn’t know the full extend of why my brothers have put bounties on her head, I know she takes the threat seriously. If anything has happened to her… she has to be okay.

I feel my heart start beating wildly as the silver bird I gifted to Capsize enter the room, phasing through the window. It lands on the desk, becoming a still statue once again. A small piece of paper is tied to it as it has been the few other times, she’s sent me a message using my gift. I’ve never quite understood why she does it, she always just shrugs and calls it a force of habit whenever I ask. I suppose a blank piece of paper doesn’t affect anything though. As I untie it, I brush my finger over the head of the bird. Her voice fills the room.

“My Lady. I know that Sonja is Mianite’s champion, or formally was according to herself. She hasn’t done anything to harm me or Skipper or anyone else on board. I know you don’t trust her, but please my Lady, trust me, don’t hurt her. She’s just scared,” There’s a guilt that comes from hearing these words, a conflicted feeling of wanting to trust my gut but also wanting to trust Capsize. I’ve always trusted her before, but how am I meant to protect her from someone dangerous if she doesn’t realise the danger that person poses. If the fox really isn’t a champion anymore then this situation might resolve itself, so long as she isn’t going to try to get her position back. However, as the facts stand, I can’t just allow her free reign of the city. Just a few days, some questions to make sure she isn’t lying. Hopefully Capsize will understand. I clutch the bird tightly. I need her to be okay.

“My Lady?” Jordan enters the room, dressed in armour that marks him as my champion. He enters calmly, an expression fixed on his face that isn’t grave but certainly isn’t happy. I already know the news before he needs to say it, they’re back. I stand and quickly begin walking out of the room, Jordan turning on his heel to follow after me. He keeps up well, knowing without needing to be told that I already know what’s happened and where we’re going. “So, what’s the plan? Sonja isn’t going to go down without a fight and I’m only one person. Are you sure you don’t want at least some guards?”

“I don’t know if we’ll need them. Capsize sent me a message, she claims the girl is no longer Mianite’s champion. Whether that’s true or not, I can’t say, but it may mean there won’t be a fight to be had,” I say, despite feeling doubt radiating off Jordan. I understand the doubt, with the current state of affairs it would be an excellent excuse if she wanted to complete a plan set up by Mianite. Capsize wanted me to trust her, even if I don’t trust the woman she saved. I want to, but it would be so much safer if I locked the woman up. But perhaps I can compromise, put her in a room in my temple rather than a cell. I’ll still be able to keep an eye on her, after all I can always sense the happenings in my temple. It does still pose more of a risk then putting her in a cell actually designed to hold dangerous individuals in but I need to listen to Capsize. I can’t betray her trust. “Still be prepared but I think we may be able to escort her to the temple without much trouble.”

“You really like making my job more nerve racking, don’t you?” He laughs, making me feel slightly embarrassed as I realise my champion is thinking about needing to protect me. I’ll probably have to force him to sleep until we clear everything up. I’ll find a way to convince him, as much as it’s nice to have such a loyal champion, he needs to look after himself too. Capsize is like that too, it’s so hard to get her to sleep. Yet it only makes me want to protect both of them more. “But if that’s what you believe we should do then let’s head to the docks.”

It's a relatively normal walk, even if I am still worrying about whether we’re actually walking into a trap. I still remember the last time I talked to my brothers, naively thinking I could stop the conflict between us before it became a full out war. They both had their own threats to make me and my followers. I swore to myself that I would never let either of them hurt any of my followers. If this does turn out to be a trap, I won’t let my brother gain what he wants to. I am not the fool he thinks I am.

As we arrive, there’s quite a crowd leaving. All members of Capsize’s crew, happy to be back. A few stare at us as we walk past while a couple also make some jokes. While I don’t hear exactly what they say, Jordan glares at them, quickly making them quiet down and continue moving. Maybe I should ask Jordan what they were saying but it doesn’t seem too important. Capsize says there are always ridiculous rumours flying around the ship, that it’s just the nature of so many people trapped in close quarters. If it doesn’t bother Capsize, I won’t let it bother me. Soon enough we’re past the crowd, and instead in front of Capsize as she waits by the gang plank.

“My Lady, Jordan,” She greets us, smiling but clearly wary. She rests her hand on her cutlass. I step forward, pressing the bird into her free hand. She relaxes a little, though she still stays in a position where we would need to push past her to get onto the ship.

“I won’t put her into a cell. I’ll still need to keep a watch on her, but she won’t be a prisoner,” That seems to do the trick to relax her. She begins to lead us aboard, towards the lower decks. It’s a place I don’t get to be too often, but always surrounds me with the feeling of her aura. I know no one else feels it, it’s a godly ability so of course they wouldn’t. “I left her with Skipper so don’t worry, she won’t have left with the rest of the crew.”

She stops in front of a door, looking towards Jordan and myself for a few more moments. Perhaps she truly doesn’t know if she can trust us right now. However, whatever she was looking for, the search doesn’t last long before she turns the handle on the door and lets us in.

[swimyghost]

Hey y’all! I wrote a little ficlet for @self-insert-nonsense‘s MHA villain character, Spectre. Please go to them if you want to know more!

---

Spectre thought this would be an easy battle. Toy with, or even kill, some heroes to satisfy Shigaraki's almost fetishistic need to impress his father. Spectre never wanted to get into any of the other villains dirty laundry, especially Shigaraki's. She saw what he could do to people and wasn't one to accept failure without someone getting hurt in the process. So, Spectre respectfully did what she was told like a good little ghost.

"Is everything in order?" Shigaraki's raspy voice said over his miniature army of villains.

"Of course, Shiggy, dear!" Toga responded right next to Spectre. It took everything in Spectre's power not to flinch at the loudness of her voice.

"No! Of course not! Yes, I am, big man!" A black and gray bodysuit wearer appeared in the villainess peripheral vision. Spectre couldn't help but smile as the man continued to shift in tones and dramatically wave his hands. Twice was always fun to be around, even if he was a little unpredictable.

"What about you, Lizard Man?" Shigaraki turned to his right.

The "lizard man" lowered his red scarf and his bared his teeth. He unleashed an animalistic snarl at his blue-haired companion. Shigaraki raised his hands defensively. "Relax, Spinner, I was only teasing."

Spinner snorted and turned away. Spectre couldn't control her eye roll. Spinner had to be her least favorite villain (not saying she had a favorite but who was paying attention anyway?). He was infatuated with Stain and emulated him in every single way. Through his clothing, his weapons, his fighting style, Spectre was so close to waltzing into Tartarus herself and taking over Stain just to shut the man up. 

"Spectre!" 

Sure, I might be caught, Spectre mused But at least he'd stop cosplaying in battle.

Shigaraki's harsh voice broke through her thoughts. Her eyes met his red ones. She could almost feel the dry skin around them peel off and float towards her. Spectre nearly gagged as he spoke.

"We need you to go out first. Cause a little distraction so the pure and honorable heroes get too tied up to notice their demise."

Spectre heard Toga let out a cackle. She dipped her head and stretched. "Alright, sir. Let me get into position."

He nodded and glanced up from his spot in the trees. "Dabi, watch her body for us."

Spectre blinked in surprise. She hadn't noticed the jet haired individual squatting above them until Shigaraki pointed him out. He lazily glanced down at Spectre and frowned. "Seriously? I'm on babysitting duty? Why not Spinner or Toga?"

"We need Spinner's blades to cut through the enemy and for Toga to copy one of them to create distrust among their ranks."

"Twice?" Dabi suggested, leaping down next to his commander.

"Twice won't do it, never!" His gruff tone turned to a more positive one. "I'd be glad to help out, Shigaraki!"

Shigaraki raised his hand, silencing Twice before he went on one of his tangents. "Twice's skills will be useful in this fight."

He leaned into the other man's face and sneered. "Are you questioning my authority, Dabi?"

The air around them grew still. Toga swiftly pulled out a knife and ran her tongue across the blade. Twice followed Toga and dropped his measuring tapes to his sides. Spectre even noticed Spinner reach for his weapons. The standoff between the two members was growing tenser by the moment. Although she wasn't a fighter by nature, more of a manipulator, Spectre knew how to throw a couple of good punches and a kick. Preparing herself for a clash between the two villains, the villainess Quirk user inched forward, her long sleeves brushing against the surrounding twigs and leaves. 

Instead of blasting Shigaraki in the face with his azure flames, Dabi tsked and turned his head. His intense blue gaze bore into Spectre.

"Fine, I'll watch her," Dabi said after several agonizing seconds. "But don't expect me to make sure she remains completely scratch-free."

Shigaraki's chapped lips grew into a frightening smile. "All I ask is for your best."

He turned to Spectre. "Are you ready, my dear?"

Spectre nodded. "Yes, sir."

Without another word, she settled herself into a comfortable position against the tree. Specter doubt checked to make sure she wouldn't fall out of the tree the moment she left her body. She could tell everyone was growing antsy or annoyed or a combination of both. However, dozens of shattered rips and broken bones taught her to always be careful. With a deep breath, her ghost form exploded from her chest. The familiar chill brought nothing but a sense of euphoria. She looked down at her comrades, smiled, then dashed through the trees. Not even the leaves were rustled by her jet-like speeds. Once the treeline clear and a path came into view, she settled in between two oaks. Purple wisps fluttered off her body as she nestled deeper into the leaves. She could hear her targets drawing closer.

It was a greasy-haired teacher and his costumed students following him like ducklings.

Probably some silly training exercise she sneered. Not that it will ever match the real deal.

She counted them all; Twenty in total. Then she started to pick out her potential victims. Maybe that punk chick with the long earlobes that dangled like headphone jacks? Nah, she was too busy talking to some barely dressed ponytail girl and would probably see her if she tried to Possess her. Perhaps the buff kid with several arms? He seemed to be purposely putting himself away from the group and Spectre needed a bigger distraction. What about that purple midget that was trying to sneak a peek under Ponytail's clothes? Spectre shivered.

He's the one!

Even I have limits she thought to herself. Then she let out a wheezy laugh when a frog-like girl slapped the boy with her tongue. She went to her search when she found him. A green-haired boy shouldered between two other people. Yes, he was leading the gaggle of students along with the obviously underslept teacher, but he had an aura around him. Spectre could almost feel the power radiating off him. She licked her lips and a soft moan escaped her mouth. 

Without a moment of hesitation, Spectre flew over the group. She dive-bombed downward and before anyone could utter out a warning, she Possessed the powerful child. 

Spectre was right in her assumption. He was containing a powerful Quirk. She could feel it running through her. But something was wrong. Instead of the usual adrenaline pulsing through her, Spectre was feeling a numb tingling sensation. Her host let out a raspy breath and clutched his chest; both of them felt something awful.

"Midoriya?" She heard someone call out.

She would've answered but the tingling transformed into a burning sensation. Using her host's body, she began to scratch at her arms. Spectre could sense that everyone was staring at her (him? Them?). She didn't care. She couldn't care. All she could focus on was getting this burning to stop.

"Hey, dumbass! What's the matter with you? Your nerd brain finally killed itself or something?" 

Spectre would've normally whipped around and charged at the person who dared insult her and she almost did. Then it hit her.

A bolt of lightning slammed into her and caused the pain to quadruple in intensity. The once fiery sensation was replaced with complete electrical torture. Even though she shouldn't have been able to feel the pain of her host in any way, Spectre felt like her skin was melting off her. Her muscles torn off her like a rapid dog tearing the meat a bone. Her host's eyes were watering for he felt the exact same pain she did. They gripped their head and screamed. Spectre didn't know if it was her screaming or her host. Whatever the case, the excoriating pain needed to stop.

"Izuku!"

They felt a pair of hands grabbed onto them. They turned their head and were met with soft, yet terrified, brown eyes. A girl with the soundest face Spectre had ever seen was staring at them, clearly concerned about their health. That concern turned to complete fear as she looked into her host's (Spectre figured his name had to be Izuku) eyes. They were a glowing violet, like all her past and future victims would have if she Possessed them. 

"Uraraka! Get out of the way!"

This is my chance! I have to strike!

Despite the torture Spectre was going through, she dug through her host’s soul, his everything, his Being, to find his Quirk. Once she felt it, she took hold. The pain grew even worse as she charged up an attack. Their right arm began to glow a bright teal with sparks flying off it. Oh God, it was painful. Their arm was nothing but a pile of melted flesh if what they were feeling was correct.

They swung forward, hoping to pop that stupid girl's eyes out of her socket. Before she could even get close, a black figure stepped in front of the round-faced girl. The white scarf around their neck was hovering threatening around him. They looked up, filled with rage at this audacity of this man. The moment they looked up, they were met with a piercing red glare. Before Spectre to try and fight back, she was thrown away from her host and back into her normal body.

Spectre gasped for air. She wrapped herself up tightly with her arms. Her breaths turned into panicked wheezing. Although the pain was gone, she could still psychosomatically feel its effects under her skin. She began to scratch. And scratch. And scratch. And-

"Mimoto!"

A rough hand grasped her ghostly gray one and slammed it against the tree. It snapped her out of her spiraling emotions. She peered upwards and was face to face with Dabi's icy blue eyes. While his face remained neutral, almost uncaring, Spectre didn't miss the concern in his voice.

He used my name 

No one, not even Twice or Toga, used her name: Nusuma Mimoto. She told everyone it but they, including her, preferred her villain name. 

Her heart thudded against her chest. She was sure Dabi could her it.

"What happened? Tell me!" Dabi demanded.

Ah, there's the real Dabi.

"I'm not sure," Spectre confessed. "I choose this green-haired kid to Possess and... It hurt. You know as well as I that none of my Possessions have ever hurt before but for this reason this... Snot colored brat made me feel like I was being shredded."

Dabi froze. He released Spectre's hand and stood up from his crouched position. He gazed off towards the clearing, the sounds of battle growing louder and louder.

"Izuku Midoriya." he murmured.

"Izuku Midoriya?" Spectre repeated. "You know him."

"Sorta."

Toga's shrill laughter followed by several thunder-like explosions echoed across the forest. The roaring of an engine and lightning fell close behind that. Dabi cracked his neck before looking down at Spectre. "Are you going to be fine or do you need a blankie?"

Spectre waved him off, ignoring the baby voice he put on. "Go. They'll need your dumbass more than me." 

Dabi was about to take off but Spectre grabbed hold of the bottom of his black coat. She looked up at him and bared her teeth.

"Go get 'em, Charcoal."

Dabi smirked and dove into the trees. His footsteps grew softer and softer the farther away he got. Alone, Spectre slumped against the tree, not bothering to focus on keeping her balance. If she fell, she fell. She was too busy pondering one single thought.

Who is Izuku Midoriya?

[justjessame]

The Deal Chapter 69

I was still at Mom’s, playing with RJ and waiting for a moment to take Judith off on her own to give her a stern talking to about her attitude toward Mom, when Laura came in and told me that a delegation from Hilltop was asking for me. Very little upsets my equilibrium, or at least outwardly, but this was one time that it did.

Mom had a multitude of questions, and so did I, but they die in our throats when the man tells us that Daryl asked for me specifically. Michonne’s eyes met mine and we both knew that whatever I’m needed for at Hilltop it’s of the utmost importance, because Daryl wouldn’t ask for me for anything less than something paramount.

I insist, since I’ve been paged, that I be allowed a chance to tell Negan first. I can see the wince, the twinge of irritation at the announcement, but too fucking bad. After hugging RJ and kissing Judith and promising I’ll be back safe and sound as fast as I can, I head to my house to pack a small bag and stop by Negan’s cell to let him know I’m off to Hilltop for an unknown purpose.

To say that he took it poorly would be an understatement. His distrust for Daryl is palpable. His distrust for Maggie, Glenn, Hilltop in general is so heavy that I’m shocked that he can breathe through it.

“You don’t even know why you’re fucking going, Jessi.” He sighs, eyes tight, looking like every muscle in his entire body is wound as tight as a spring. “What if-”

“What?” I shook my head and stepped closer, putting my fingers through the bars, touching his skin and pulling at him so he would move closer and I could touch more of him. “What if, what?” My eyes locked on his, drinking him in, this man who even caged was a riot of strength. “They bind me and lock me away? I dare them to try.” He rolled his eyes, but his long arms reached through the bars and wrapped around my back pulling me into him, the bars keeping us apart, but only just. “Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, will keep me from seeing you again, Negan.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Jessica Grimes.” He leaned down, lowering his head, his lips and mine meeting through the gap in the bars for a kiss before I had to head to Hilltop to see what was so important that Daryl needed my attendance.

 “Says her name is Lydia.” Daryl was telling me as he led me down a set of cellar steps. “She was easy to catch, makes me think they left ‘er behind on purpose.” I nodded, letting my eyes adjust to the dim light of Hilltop’s very own jail. “Something ain’t right about her, Jessi. And if anyone can get it out of her-”

I nearly snorted, but then my eyes landed on the girl. Dirty as hell, straggly hair, teeth that looked like they’d never seen the sight of a toothbrush, and eyes like a cornered animal. Yeah, this was a different breed of human, alight. Movement caught my eye in the cell next to hers, and I did snort then.

“Henry? Is that you?” Dear Lord, Ezekiel’s son was locked up in Hilltop. “What the literal hell did you do to get locked up in the Hilltop clink?”

“Hey, Jessi.” He sounded defeated, upset, embarrassed, and defensive all at once. Impressive for a snot nosed teenager. “Didn’t know you did a lot of visiting.”

Well spotted, I thought, but kept it to myself. “I’m the tri-community cell inspector. Newly minted.” Nothing, until I heard a tiny grunt of laughter from behind me and had to bite my lip to hold back my own giggle. Fuck, I think I got a chuckle out of Daryl Dixon of all people. “Hilltop’s look more spacious than Alexandria’s, since you’re from The Kingdom’s, you have insider knowledge of those? Any help is appreciated, might save my ass a trip.” My eyes were on Henry’s, but I swear to God, I felt Daryl’s snort in my toes.

Henry’s eyes were wide, and I felt pretty sure he was trying to decide if I was serious or not, but my eyes went back to the young woman in the cell next to his. She was tucked into the furthest corner from where I stood. Her eyes were darting between the three of us, since Daryl hadn’t left the cellar yet, but I planned on getting his ass out soon enough. Her fingers were tugging at the cuffs of her sleeves, and I was trying to focus on whether it was simply a nervous habit, or if she was hiding something at that spot.

“Daryl?” I didn’t raise my voice, there wasn’t a need and I didn’t want her to jump. “Could you bring me something cool to drink? I’m a bit parched, and I want Henry here to give me some insider information on those Kingdom cells.” He grunted his assent and after the door gave me the proof that he was gone, at least from sight, I smiled at the girl. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your cell neighbor, Henry?”

Henry blinked at me, I could see him out of the corner of my eye, but I didn’t let my attention move from the girl. I wanted her to know that I was entirely focused on her. If she was primal, then showing her that I was in charge was important.

“Oh, right, sorry.” Henry, the adopted son of the self-styled King Ezekiel of The Kingdom, finally found his fucking manners. “Lydia, this is Jessica Grimes. Her mother is the leader of Alexandria.” Close enough, I thought, trying to keep from rolling my eyes. “Jessi, this is Lydia. She’s-” And that’s where he faded. Helpful.

“Hello, Lydia.” Voice still quiet, pleasant. Keep soothing, make sure that she knows I don’t bite. Unless it’s necessary. I watched as one hand stopped fidgeting with her sleeve and went to her earlobe. “Does your ear hurt?” My head tilted as her hand dropped along with her chin, but her eyes never left mine. “Lydia?”

“She has an ear infection.” Henry, the world’s worst or strangest ventriloquist. And it hit me, teenage love. Shit. He was into her. Dirty and traumatised as fuck, Lydia was his type. How weird. “Daryl brought medicine with food, but-”

“Do you not trust the medication?” I addressed Lydia. While Henry was helpful as the puppet voice, I wanted to get Lydia involved in the conversation. “It’s hard to trust people who put you in a cage, I do know that.” Trust me, I DO.

“Jessi really does, Lydia.” Thank you, Henry, I thought. Right there as the world’s best/worst backup singer. “She fell in love with-” I couldn’t hold back the long sigh that hit me. I had to, it had to come out. Sorry not sorry. “Sorry, Jessi.” Yeah, pretty fucking sure that Henry was in the clink to dry out. Verbal diarrhea tends to be a symptom.

“Not a problem.” I was still studying Lydia. “Daryl tells me that you’re a member of the group that attacked and killed our people.” Her eyes flickered around the room, landing on Henry, the window, the door, the bars, me, and again making a route. “Lydia, I’m unarmed.” I lifted my shirt, took a slow turn to show her that I truly wore not a single weapon. “I haven’t fought anyone hand to hand for a very long time.” Also true. “I am NOT here to harm you.” I wasn’t. From what Daryl told me, and Tara had reiterated while I listened and took mental notes, was to find out how dangerous this girl was. Whether she was important to her people and whether that made her valuable and dangerous.

I take a seat on the ground, ignoring the wooden chair that sits nearby. I know that Lydia is probably wondering why Daryl hasn’t returned with the cool drink I asked for, but I plan on distracting her with other tactics. Henry, with a short glance his way, follows suit. Lydia, after a few beats, joins us.

“I heard that you said ‘hunger is a gift,’” I tell her, leaning against the wall behind me, getting comfortable. I want her to know that she is correct, as I’m sure she was thinking that she’s been eavesdropped on. “Hunger is what you make of it, nothing more, nothing less.” I watch her as she puzzles through my words, I can see the war fighting inside her head. “My father, his mentality throughout this entire mess, ebbed and flowed. On one hand, he wanted us to learn to use every single hardship that this fucked up world handed us to make us harder and stronger and fiercer.” Her eyes blazed as they met mine and I knew that whomever she feared or learned from had put that idea firmly inside of her. “On the other side? He was terrified that in doing that, in gripping the hard and using it to brace us and build us harder, it would steal the best and ONLY reason worth surviving. Our humanity.” I thought of Judith, of RJ, of Mom, of Negan, of Daryl, of Carol, Maggie, Glenn, and on and on-

“Hunger isn’t the gift, Lydia. LIFE is the gift. Never forget that.” I sighed. My eyes landed on the medication bottle lying close to me near the bars. I reached out and took it into my fingers. “Dealing with pain when you don’t have to? That’s martyrdom for martyrdom’s sake, and it’s stupid and shitty.” I tossed it to her and smiled when she caught it easily. “Good hands, now take the fucking meds.” Henry was staring at me, but I was gratified to see a smirk on the girl’s face. “Now tell me about Alpha, and how often you’re beaten for no apparent reason so we can discuss whether the cell is a permanent situation or not.”

 Daryl had listened in on Henry and Lydia’s conversations before I’d come. I HAD insider information. I didn’t need to wait and dig, but I did want to see what I could garner without using it.

And what I learned was that Henry was overprotective and Lydia was more than willing to let him do the talking. Lydia was abused. She watched her mother kill her father. She watched this woman run roughshod over EVERYONE and no one stood up to her. Why would she suddenly choose to stand up for herself among strangers?

Which was the point where I gave up. Why not just admit that I knew it all? Cut out the middle tape and the middleman and get to the damn point of it all?

Plus, it’s HILARIOUS to freak out teenagers. Seriously. Try it sometime. I dare you.

“It’s not for-”

“No apparent reason?” I asked, biting back a yawn. “Lydia, listen, I’m here because I have this uncanny ability to cut through bullshit. OK, not really, but I do have a background in trauma.” Henry’s eyes were zeroed in on me so hard that I swore I’d end up with fucking marks. “When I first met Henry’s mom,” I heard him shift and I knew he was thinking of what he’d shared with her about Carol’s past. “I knew that she was abused by her husband. Not only because of her hair, but her eyes.” Lydia’s were still locked on mine, as though I were telling her a fairy tale. “People who are victims of repeated terrorization by loved ones, their eyes are haunted. They’re also fidgeters, they twitch and they jump.” Just like you, I wanted to add, but I didn’t.

“But I should do better,” she was still fighting to prove that her mom, that her leader wasn’t in the wrong. That she EARNED her ‘punishments’. “I shouldn’t-”

“Irritate her?” I offered, raising an eyebrow. “Upset her?” I leaned forward, raising my knees to prop my elbows on top of them. “You shouldn’t say whatever you said, whenever you said it, however you said it, to get her to hit you? Or you shouldn’t have looked at her in that tone?” I shook my head. How often had I heard it? Or seen it? When I’d volunteered during high school and college? “Abusers will never take credit for being the ones who perpetuate abuse, Lydia. The blame will always lay at the feet of those who they victimize. Even if that victim is an infant.”

 The next round of questioning came with the subject of how important Lydia felt she was to her mother and people. Would they come for her? Would they attack our people again? At what cost?

[douchebagbrainwaves]

IF THIS WAS THEIR HYPOTHESIS, IT'S NOW BEEN VERIFIED EXPERIMENTALLY

Honestly, Sam is, along with Steve Jobs, but he may be the best writer among Silicon Valley CEOs. Maybe an organization that helped lift its weight off a country could benefit from the resulting growth. But the more investors you have in a round, the founders almost always still have control of the company. So I think VC funds are seriously threatened by the super-angels by driving up valuations. Now when one thinks of what Microsoft does to users, all the verbs that come to mind begin with F. If widely used, auto-retrieval would only be practical for users on high-bandwidth connections, but there seems a decent chance it's true. Inc recently asked me who I thought were the 5 most interesting startup founders of the last 30 years. Same story in 2004. Because depending on the meaning of quickly, it could either be a bug or a new discovery. If investors are easily convinced, the startup funding business is now in what could, at least by comparison, be called turmoil.

American. Live by the channel, die by the channel: if you depend on an oligopoly, you sink into bad habits that are hard to overcome when you suddenly get competition. Whatever the cause, stupid comments tend to be run by programmers. The no man's land between angels and VCs is the amount of your company, if they merely failed to get those few big winners. How will this all play out? And if Battery Ventures hadn't turned down Facebook, Boston would be significantly bigger now on the startup radar screen. The basic idea behind office hours is that the customer doesn't want what he thinks he wants. Apple's competitors now know better. Work Day.

And although the super-angels make more investments per partner, they have less partner per investment. It's just not reasonable to expect startups to pick an optimal round size in advance, because that was where their peers were, and investors would appear too, because that means we're going to have novel consequences. One of the hardest parts of doing a startup is the percentage chance it's Google. But interesting, and finished fairly quickly. If someone had launched a new, spam-free mail service, users would have flocked to it. Next time you're in a moderately large city, drop by the main post office and watch the body language of the people working there. But we didn't propose that to save money. Companies spend millions to build office buildings for a single purpose: to be a good idea to have a stateless algorithm. And I was a Reddit user when the opposite happened there, and the best stuff prevails. I was living in New York when Giuliani introduced the reforms that made the broken windows theory famous, and the site rules discourage dramatic link titles. The country is shifting to the left or right in their morning-after analyses are like the financial reporters stuck writing stories day after day about the random fluctuations of the stock after using the first half of the stock market.

It just made me spend several minutes telling you how great they are. And not just for the obvious reason that more competition for deals means better terms. When we want to make a car better, we stick tail fins on it, or make the windows smaller, depending on the current fashion. I do actually typing. The huge volume of the spam, which has so far worked in the spammer's favor, would now work against him, like a branch snapping back in his face. You've made something you need to do. Pump out a million emails an hour, get a million hits an hour on your servers. But if you're looking for companies that will get bought. This one wouldn't. It's the principle of a market economy.

How do you decide who's the most interesting? One way to guess how far an idea extends is to ask yourself at what point you'd bet against it. They're obsessed with making things well. What does that mean for founders? There are just two or three articles on individual people's sites for every one I read on the site of a newspaper or magazine. Race you. Hence what I call the Fluff Principle: on a user-voted news site, the links that are easiest to judge will take over unless you take specific measures to prevent it.

Initially it was supposed to be a harder problem than bad submissions. From the start they had a policy of censoring nothing except spam. So for now this is something startups are deciding individually. But I don't think that's a bias of mine. To me the most demoralizing aspect of the traditional office is that you're supposed to be there at certain times. Deadlocks weren't the only problem with fixed-size equity round with a lead makes sense, because there is usually just one big investor, who is unequivocally the lead. Nor is there anything new, and if you want to be the first to make something, it helps them be decisive. Google was indistinguishable from a nonprofit. If you start from successful startups, you find they'd often make good startups.

In any purely economic relationship you're free to do what you want and publish when you want. It's grown bigger and taken up more time than I expected, but I resent being told what to do next, but I'll probably think of something. Founders would start to move there without being paid, because that was where their peers were, and investors would appear too, because that was where the deals were. If a super-angel has some of the qualities of a VC. But when you examine that election, it tends to support the charisma theory more than contradict it. But as I thought more about this project, I realized it would probably have to be a spam url, so submitting every http request in every email would work fine nearly all the time. Pundits said Carter beat Ford because the country distrusted the Republicans after Watergate. If your work requires you to talk to other people in the Valley is watching them. Anyone can adopt Don't be evil. If a link is just an empty rant, editors will sometimes kill it even if it's on topic in the sense of being about hacking, because it's easier than satisfying them. The fact that super-angels.

And while the concept of insanely great already existed in the arts, it was a pain to fund with grants and donations. Though this election is usually given as an example of the power of TV, Kennedy apparently would not have won without fraud by party machines in Illinois and Texas. Because they're good guys and they're trying to help the world. Dukakis, Gore, and Kerry were so similar in that respect that they might have been brothers. It's not a charity, but they may not always be. If they accepted it, it wouldn't be read by anyone for months, and in the meantime I'd have to fight word-by-word to save it from being mangled by some twenty five year old copy editor. If widely used, auto-retrieval would only be practical for users on high-bandwidth connections, but there seems a decent chance it's true. Meaning that when the note converts into stock in a later round, or upon acquisition, the investors in that round will get. But because the imaginary machine was always running, I felt I always ought to be working.

[chicagocityofclans]

Imani Colt → Nicole Beharie → Hunter

→ Basic Information

Age: 35

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight

Birthday: September 7th

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Religion: Irreligion

→ Her Personality Imani is a stubborn and courageous woman, often putting other needs above her own. She keeps a tight rein on her emotions which is a product of her upbringing and her rigorous hunter training. Imani keeps things bottled up inside and only shares her feelings with immense pressure. As a result, she is often reserved and slow to anger, but beneath her tough exterior is someone who feels very deeply. Imani is protective and loyal to those close to her. She has intense emotions that rarely surface and are directed primarily toward the people she cares about most. Imani is knowledgeable, practical, intelligent and at times calculating. She has a talent for profiling and her skills have helped track down many well-hidden supernaturals. She is also very curious; especially when it comes to the immortal 3 (vampires, human shifters, and magic users)

Imani is a strong-willed woman capable of holding her own as a hunter. She can be ruthless to enemies and friendly to allies, making her a dangerous foe and an exceptionally reliable friend. Imani is both an experienced and capable hunter as well as a fiercely defensive maternal figure who is to be taken very seriously within the Colt and Anderson family. As the wife of the headhunter, Imani can take on the leadership position when necessary, bringing in the Anderson family person style to the Colts. As a hunter, she stays on topic. She wants to get the job done as much as anyone else. Imani prefers to gather as much information about a situation as she can before deciding on it. Through her association with the supernatural, Imani mind is open to never-ending possibilities and ideas. She is willing and able to point out the ways that ideas could go wrong, often demanding to plan for different outcomes. Imani and Blaine are incredibly good at putting the pieces together and brainstorming together. They make an amazing married couple and hunting partners.  

→ Her Personal Facts

Occupation: Senior Hunter

Scars: None

Tattoos: None

Two Likes: Neutral Colors and Hunting

Two Dislikes: Bright Colors and Venomous Snakes/Spiders

Two Fears: Gaining Weight and Meaningless Death

Two Hobbies: Learning (languages, cooking, information) and Journaling (about kills)

Three Positive Traits: Loyal, Protective, Clever

Three Negative Traits: Uncompromising, Denfinsive, Unmerciful

→ Her Connections

Parent Names:

Grant Anderson (Father): Imani has always been close to her father. He taught her everything she knows and made sure she had the best trainers. Imani knows that he wished she was a boy when she was born but cannot complain about the way she was raised and the benefits that followed. Grant is an amazing grandpa.

Candace Anderson (Mother): Imani mother is loving and smothering. Candace spoils her grandbabies and always spends them home hyper. Candace family believed in breeding for the best possible hunter outcomes. Imani does not blame her mother for running and finds her story encouraging; especially about meeting her dad. This also made Imani life hell with a clingy and opinionated mother.  

Sibling Names:

Ebony Anderson (Sister): Ebony and Imani have a common sisterly bond. They have each others backs and get along well but are also constantly fighting about stupid things and pissing each other off. Ebony encouraged Imani to start dating Blaine and has always been supportive of their relationship.

Children Names:

Bryson Colt (Son): Bryson is showing a lot of promise. At the age of 6, Bryson can recite random species traits better than the ‘Baby Shark’ song. Imani loves her oldest son and thinks he is a perfect mixture of Blaine and herself but he takes after his father in temper, ruthlessness and intelligence.

Wesson Colt (Son): Wesson is a hellion at the simple age of 4 and a half. Everyone swears Wesson is more Anderson than Colt and naming him after a gun was a horrible idea. Wesson is a handful but Imani loves him all the same.

Orion Colt (Son): Akins twin brother. Blaine and Imani were trying one more time for a girl but were surprised to find out they were having twin boys. Orion has just turned 2 years old. Imani is tempted to try again for a girl now that the boys are older, however, Orion needs more care and love than her older sons.

Akins Colt (Son): Orion twin brother. Blaine and Imani were trying one more time for a girl but were surprised to find out they were having twin boys. Akins has just turned 2 years old. Imani is tempted to try again for a girl now that the boys are older, however, Akins needs more love and attention than her older sons.

Romantic Connections:

Blaine Colt (Husband): Blaine was not love at first sight or anything gushy. When they first met she was unimpressed by the legendary Colt. To take him down a few notches she purposely went after his hunts and tried to beat him to the punch. That peaked his interest in her and hers in him. Imani learned to care and respect him and then eventually fell in love with Blaine. He is her husband and best friend. They dated for 3 years before getting married in secret. Blaine and Imani have recently celebrated their 7 year anniversary.

Platonic Connections:

Colin Colt (Brother-In-Law): Imani brought her concerns about D.W. up to Colin which he quickly found excuses for. She thought they once had a really strong relationship, but Colin’s blatant refusal to even look at evidence and suspicions she has had has really soured their bond. She is going to keep looking into it, however, because he’s family.

Elle Colt (Sister-In-Law): Elle and Imani get on like houses on fire. Elle has told Imani that she was exactly what he needed in order to get his ego deflated a bit. They talk about ideas and strategy often, and respect each other’s minds.

Alice Colt (Sister-In-Law): Alice is like a mini Blaine. She worked long hours to try and get Alice back into fighting shape. She was also the one to discover one armed archery, and helped Alice find her passion for the sport again.

Amy Colt (Sister-In-Law): Amy plays fast and loose, but a part of her enjoys it. She trusts that Amy knows what she’s doing. They get along really well and Imani feels like a part of the girl’s group.

Casper Colt (Brother-In-Law): Imani agrees with her husband about Casper. He has no future as a hunter. It’s a shame, because he might have been something if someone intervened earlier.

Megan Colt (Cousin-In-Law): Imani gives unofficial credit to Megan for getting her and Blaine together. Had Megan not suggested a collaboration, she’d never have given him more than a split second of thought.

Iris Colt (Cousin-In-Law): Imani has been teaching Iris the ins and outs of online tracking. It’s not a skill that the Colts teach their tracker, but she thinks Iris will catch on quickly.

Hailey Colt (Cousin-In-Law): Imani approves of Hailey. She thinks she is a very capable woman on her own, and would keep her cousin on his toes. They don’t often talk, but they had a great conversation about moves and techniques not too far back.

Trevon Anderson (Cousin): Trevon is Imani’s favorite cousin. They get along the best out of all the other Anderson. She does not feel like Trevon will stab her in the back since they share a lot of the same views and are willing to go above and beyond on hunt. Imani had given Trevon the thumbs up when he expressed his interest in Hailey Colt. Imani has gone as far as hinting it to Blaine and Alexus.

Nia Anderson (Cousin): Nia is the model cousin and no one else can compare. Imani knew their family did not do it on purpose but she spent her entire childhood being compared to Nia. As adults, Imani can put the past behind her and be civil with her cousin but Imani believes she sailed through life.

Marquis Anderson (Cousin): Imani feels for her little cousin. She wishes she could do more for him but the most she can do is keep her door open for him.

Raven Jenkins (Cousin): Imani is glad Raven did not turn out like her mother. She enjoys the few hunts they take together and is happy she is friends with Alice.

Alexus Anderson (Aunt): Alexus has always been a judging figure in Imani’s life. She always had to work and trained harder to try and please her aunt; which never worked. It wasn’t until adulthood did Alexus start showing her any respect and quit her unfair judgmental assumptions.

Arthur Milligan (Undefined): The Anderson works with a lot of supernatural creatures but Arthur is one of her favorites. Whenever he has an ‘untouchable’ he slides it her way and she takes care of the problem for him or the other supernatural cops.

Churchill Darling (Undefined): Imani thought she was in trouble when a known human shifter first approached her but he had a box full of cases involving untouchable humans and another box involving unpunished members of Clan Rat. Imani shared the box with the Colts and Anderson. They’ve been working on it for months. Imani is thinking of ways to show some gratitude towards him.

Hostile Connections:

Eric Lasiter (Strained Friendship): Eric believes Imani stole from him and she has tried multiple times to explain the misunderstanding without any luck.

Jazmine Anderson (Disappointment): Jazmine stole information off of Imani’s phone and ruined her friendship with Eric Lasiter; and possibly her reputation.

Tirra Jenkins (Dislike/Annoyance): Since marrying into the Jenkins family, Tirra constantly acts as if she is better than the Anderson family. Imani is annoyed that she lost one of her favorite aunts but Tirra really grinds her gears.

D.W. Colt (Distrusts): Imani instincts are going haywire in concern to D.W, she seemed like a nice enough person at first but the more Imani watched her, the more her warning bells turned into sirens. The fact that no one is taking Imani seriously in regards to D.W is pissing Imani off and making her more aggressive towards D.W.  

Pets:

None

→ History (paragraph(s) on background)

→ The Present (paragraph(s) on how the character connects to the plot)

[phantoms-lair]

Uncommon Ancestry snippet 3

“Midoriya, what is this about?” Yaoyorozu asked with some misease.

Yesterday he’d texted Uraraka and asked her to gather all the girls at one spot without anyone else knowing. Ashido had eagerly volunteered her house, but the rest of the girls felt a little uneasy at being called out in such a way. Despite Uraraka’s assurance that Midoriya wouldn’t be up to anything skeezy.

Izuku pulled up a small backpack, and retrieved a sealed tube and some notes. “These are for you Yaoyorozu. I included all the notes and the chemical makeup so you could reproduce it easily.”

“Okay, but we still don’t know what it is.” Jiro pointed out.

“Right, right. Sorry, I never got the Bruce Wayne part down.” Midoriya rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Maybe I should demonstrate it first.” He took the tube back and pulled something else from the backpack. It was one of Mineta’s pop-offs in a plastic baggie. “Thankfully he leaves these everywhere, so it was easy to grab some for testing.” He poured a little of the liquid into the bag and the purple orb seemed to destick from the sides of the bag. A little more and it melted away.

“A counter for Mineta’s quirk.” Hagkure proclaimed, excitedly..

“Exactly. He’s made a few comments about wanting to ‘stick’ himself to one of you, so I wanted to make sure you also had a counter. And he seems to target you more than anyone else, Yaoyorozu so I wanted you to be ready.”

She turned a little green, but began to go over the notes of the chemical formula.

“I also got these.” He pulled out another baggie, this one filled with quartz crystals with little loops on the end. “They’re low quality crystal, but easy enough to enchant, and sold in bulk. I hit Mineta with a tracking charm and tied the crystals into it. These should alert you if he’s close by via a small vibration that gets stronger the closer he is. Place the crystal flat on your hand and it will point the directions. Sorry it’s not much, but it was all I could think of so far. Well, I also considered a curse that would disrupt his eyesight when he thought about peeping on girls, but permanently blinding a student is the kind of thing that would get me expelled.”

“Wow, you do not like Mineta.” Tsu observed with a little surprise.

“I don’t he’s...he’s an insult to everything it means to be a hero.” Uncharacteristic heat entered Izuku’s voice. “The core purpose of being a hero, any kind of hero, is helping people. Whether it’s by defending them from villains or saving them from disasters. Mineta doesn’t care about helping people. You heard him at the USJ, Tsu-chan. He wants to be a Hero because he thinks girls will let him touch them. I’m not naive enough to think every would be hero has a pure motive, but the fact that he doesn’t seem to care if his attentions are wanted or even consensual is…” He clenched his fists. “But I don’t get a say in whether he makes a professional or not. All I can do is try and help you guys.”

“And I appreciate you trying to look out of my little girl, and the others.” A woman with soft curled horns came in with a plate of warm pretzels. 

“Oh yeah! You guys have got to try these.” Ashido gushed. “Mom makes the absolute most amazing pretzels!”

“That’s because the secret is getting the perfect alkaline balance for the crust.” he Mom winked. “Oh, your quirk works with the PH scale?” Izuku asked, fascinated. “You’re right. I can adjust things to be as acidic or basic as I want. But the question I want to know is why you’re going through all this trouble instead of telling the teacher.”

“Because Mineta is very intelligent, judging by his scores on the entrance exam as well as being able to use his quirk in an incredibly skilled way.” Izuku explained matter-of-factually.

“I don’t see what one has to do with the other,” Uraraka commented, devouring a warm and perfectly salted pretzel.”

“Because people with those two things are perceived as being primed for a successful future. And schools want to have a good reputation and turning out promising Heros does that, which means protecting people who seem to have a successful future from consequences which might hurt their future, thus bringing less prestige to the school.”

Jiro let out a low whistle. “I always took you for the wide eyed optimist type but wow. Jaded much?”

“Don’t you think your teachers would put a stop to unwholesome behavior irregardless?” Ashida-san pressed gently.

“That has not been my life experience. Although now that you mention it I may have been looking at this all wrong. I was thinking of this like Aldera, where it was a case of one promising student versus one with little hope of prospects. But that’s nowhere near the case here, where it’s one promising student versus six, one of whom was good enough to get in on recommendation.” Izuku brightened up. “The school might listen!”

“It better. I think a few other parents and myself will be paying your homeroom teacher a visit soon.”

~

“Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Rest assured I’ll be keeping a much closer eye and if Mineta can’t shape up, he’ll no longer have a place at this school.” Aizawa assured the parents of all his female students.

He’d known Mineta was girl crazy, but not to the extent of harassing his classmates. 

As the parents filtered out, one stayed behind. “Was there something else, Ashido-san?”

“There is. I thought I should warn you about another of your students. Izuku Midoriya?” Aizawa narrowed his eyes. “If Midoriya was involved in-” “Only in trying to stop it.” Mina’s mother assured. “I asked him why he was going through the lengths he was instead of discussing it with you or another faculty member. His answer was telling.” She closed her eyes. “What I want to warn you about is to look out for him, because he won’t come to you, to anyone in this school, for help if something’s wrong.”

“When I spoke about the faculty taking his concerns seriously in spite of Mineta’s promise his words were ‘That hasn’t been my life experience’. What I heard though, was “nobody saved me’. He mentioned going to Aldera and all it took was one casual mention of him to a current student who wasn’t a first year. Aizawa-san, that boy’s been systematically bullied with the express support of the faculty.”

“That’s a serious accusation.” There was wariness, but not disbelief in Aizawa’s tone.

“It’s a serious problem,” She looked him in the eye. “He will trust you to teach him but no more. I don’t know if earning his trust is possible, but I doubt it will take much for him to become actively distrustful.”

“Thank you for your advice.” Aizawa closed his eyes. This explained a lot, honestly more about Bakugo than Midoriya. Still he’d have to confirm what he’d been told.

But if it was true in the slightest, he’d have no trouble going in a destroying the reputation of the middle school that was willing to sacrifice any of it’s student’s in such a way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In episode/vol 1 when the teacher brings up that Midoriya applied for UA Bakugo flew off the handle, used his quirk to explode Midoriya’s desk (a BIG nono in current society) back him against the wall an threatened him directly in front of the teacher, with zero reprecussion. 

Compare this to how cautious he was later when one of his friend suggested to a bar and Bakugo feared what getting caught would do to his chances of getting into UA. He’s not going to do anything to mess up that chance, but he can act out at school because he knows he’s protected there. And given how anyone who’d taught Bakugo any length of time would know how he would react, it’s possible the teacher broguht up Midoriya’s UA application in such a way precisely to set Bakugo off.

Compare this his first day at UA when Bakugo tries to attack Midoriya and Aizawa stops him. He’s surprised he was stopped, because attacking Midoriya has always been okay before.

 Aldera Junior High was a disgustingly toxic environment, and in the end Izuku’s family aren’t going to be the only ones to want their pound of flesh from it.

[jira-chii]

I tried rewriting the Afterlost/Shoumetsu Toshi anime

Background: Madhouse made an anime from a mobile game with the best story out of any gacha game I have ever played, and fucking botched it. So I tried to see if I could do it better.

You don’t need to have seen Shoumetsu Toshi to read this post.  However I do recommend reading this article concurrently with my summary of episodes on twitter.

So, the Shoumetsu Toshi anime was announced during the game’s fifth anniversary, and aired in April 2019. It was both exciting and terrifying because Shoumetsu Toshi is a seriously underrated game with a mindblowing story, but given the track record of game-to-anime adaptations, everyone was sceptical about it. And that scepticism ended up being justified. 

In summary (my opinion): the anime itself started out half-decent, shot itself in the foot three episodes in, staggered back up for another two or three episodes, fell flat on its face directly after, and then just kept on falling from episode 8 onwards.

While watching said anime, I realised there were very minor things I could do to improve the flow, such as changing the order of episodes, or introducing certain characters later. After a while I came up with a new alternate anime structure (see tldr on twitter). This post will be the accompanying commentary explaining the decisions I made.

My aim for this exercise was to stick as close as possible to the main message and tone of the original anime. Honestly though, if I were rewriting the anime from scratch, I would have taken a different approach entirely (because I don’t agree with the message or the tone of what we got, but that’s a story for another post).

I have tried to make sure you don’t need to watch the anime to understand this post (it would be my last wish to force anyone to watch it). That said, I may make reference to the (far superior) source material, the Shoumetsu Toshi game. I have tried to keep the general commentary in the main body, with more specific detail in the side notes at the end of each episode break-down. 

Ok, here goes.

Episode 1 Lost/Lost

The role of the first episode is to establish the characters and setting. The main idea of this episode should be to introduce Lost as mysterious and frightening, and why the main characters need to go there.

As a whole, I think the original anime does do this. It starts off with an overview of the situation (courtesy of Yuki’s monologue), and then gives us some action. Characters are introduced, the mystery starts to reveal itself, and then we end on a cliffhanger. I personally don’t feel a need to change that structurally.

I do however feel the need to switch up the order and amount of introduced characters in this episode. Our brains can only hold so much information in one episode and this episode probably exceeded that capacity and then some. 

Instead of Eiji and Kikyou saving them, I suggest having Takuya take Yuki to Geek’s first. Geek can provide a simple man’s explanation of the tragedy of Lost, using his favourite idol group SPR5 as an illustrative example. 

This means we will not be met with completely new information when the much heavier exposition from Kikyou and Eiji comes later. Because instead of brand new information, most of it will be filling in the gaps from what Geek told us. And that is much less headache-inducing than the chaos of the original episode 1.

This also means the cliffhanger of the first episode becomes Yuki finding out her father is possibly alive (instead of us wondering if Takuya is still alive…). This is admittedly not as dramatic nor as shocking as the cliffhanger of the original anime. However I went with this because I don’t think an audience going in blind would have been able to handle any more new information right after what Kikyou and Eiji did to us. Also, I don’t think many people would fall for the main character dying in the very first episode...

Side notes:

The original episode 1 started with Yuki’s monologue. I liked that it invoked interest while telling a story succinctly. So I would keep it. I would also keep the scene where Takuya busts Yuki out by throwing a fire extinguisher and jumping out the window because ngl, that was badass.

I think the original anime built up too much goodwill in Takuya in the first two episodes. By episode 2, Yuki basically completely trusts him, but I think it would be more fitting if Takuya had to ‘earn’ that goodwill gradually. Note that in my version of episode 1, none of the conflicts between Takuya and Yuki are resolved. For example, in the original anime, Takuya tells Yuki even if she doesn’t trust him, she has to trust her dad. What a good-guy thing to say. That doesn’t happen in my version. The aim of that is to create a constant feeling of unease and tension. Because this early on, none of us should be sure if Yuki can really trust anyone around her. She’s just forced to follow them to find her father.

You may have noticed I’ve removed Rou (flying monk dude) entirely from my version of the anime. I’m not hating on Rou, but I really don’t think he was useful. In fact, he just made people more confused. I would much rather prefer Suzumebachi appear in both episodes, with the fight not even happening until the second. I made this decision with three reasons in mind: 1. It sets up the expectation in the audience for more action in later episodes, encouraging them to keep watching to see the resolution; 2. It makes Suzumebachi seem like a more threatening opponent, thereby upping the tension; and 3. There is one less character we have to introduce (Akira), meaning he’ll really shine and leave an impact when we do the big reveal

Honestly, I would also remove fortune teller Kazuko. That’s a cameo nobody asked for, and it felt kind of forced. Though there’s also no harm in keeping her in. 

On the other hand I have deliberately chosen to delay introducing Yumiko and Kouta. Like I said, there are already too many characters in this first episode. The result of this, though, is that my ending deviates quite a lot from the original episode 1 ending. But I think that’s fine. This is only episode 1, we don’t have to end with drama. I think it’s more important to get the main themes across (the episode is titled ‘Lost’, so let’s make that the focus until the very end ok).

Episode 2: Sacrifice/Sacrifice

Episode 1 should be somewhat dramatic and action-packed to hook our audience in. But then episode 2 should provide them with more information about the setting. I think the anime made a bad move by pulling a plot twist at the end of episode 1 and then immediately rectifying it in episode 2. It feels cheap and undermining. And a waste of time.

So I chose to avoid the whole thing with Yumiko and Kouta saving Takuya. Instead I get Eiji and Kikyou to send them straight into hiding. I think it is more fitting if, directly following from episode 1, this episode starts off focusing on Yuki’s feelings about her family. This provides some much-needed context, and makes her values clear from the beginning, as she starts thinking about whether it is worth going to Lost to find her father.

Now we can start introducing some new characters. Honestly though, in the grand scheme of things, Yumiko and Kouta serve the exact same purpose as Eiji and Kikyou in the narrative. Which is a shame, because I think just their connection to the organisation opens up a whole heap of possibilities. Therefore, if I am going to include them I should take advantage of that connection. In my version of the anime I make them privy to certain information about Lost. This would make sense because the organisation they used to work for was all about getting Taiyou to Lost to complete the Noah Plan. By making that special information only Yumiko and Kouta know, I make them important to the plot. 

I can further leverage their connection to the enemy to arouse suspicion in them, because Takuya and Yuki wound up in an ambush with Suzumebachi following their instructions. But that’s a minor conflict that can easily be resolved and is honestly not that important.

What is important, is that being ambushed by Suzumebachi means I can finally show off  tamashii Akira! The fight will basically play out like the original episode 1, only with Suzumebachi instead of Rou. After the fight, I envision the scene to play out similar to the end of the original episode 3, with Souma appearing before them.

Side notes:

In the original anime episode 2, Yuki talks to Takuya when he shares bread with her on the roof. They talk about Akira, which is fair enough. However in my version they don’t even know about Akira at this point. They have nothing in common to bond over. Also, Yuki is still distrustful of him. This more closely mirrors the game, where both of them were more closed off. But I think it makes sense to be wary of a stranger you just met, let alone one who just called you a fucking package. 

That said, we can hint at some development through symbolism. Yuki starts off thinking about her family all by herself. But then Takuya comes. And even if they get nowhere in their conversation, physically at least, Yuki is no longer alone. 

The true reason Yumiko betrays the organisation is simply that she likes Takuya. But she can’t just tell him that directly. That’s one of the reasons the anime uses Suzuna in episode 2. I have Kouta take that role here. I also wanted Yumiko’s attraction to Takuya to be more subtle than her straight up telling Suzuna she likes him. There’s a bit of dramatic irony there because Takuya would still be suspicious of her, but the audience should be able to tell her true reason for helping is actually quite pure.

Akira is actually a symbol of hope for Yuki. He is a remnant of her old life. But as is the case in the tragic storyline of Shoumetsu Toshi, whenever we see hope, we must destroy it in the most ironic way possible. Here, it is the appearance of the other person from her old life, her brother Souma.

Episode 3: Memory/Suspicion

The original anime pulled a really, really bad move here, by throwing in a monster of the week-style episode while its setting was still developing. This is confusing and distracting. But the biggest reason I chose to delay the SPR5 episode to episode 4 is because Yuki’s character development in the original episode 3 was too great, as to almost make no sense. 

Therefore, I use episode 3 instead as a stepping stone to get Yuki to learn to trust the people around her. Once she can resolve her own insecurities, then it makes more sense for her to be able to fix other people’s problems.

My version of episode 3 is more similar to the anime’s original episode 4, which introduced Ryouko. After being betrayed by her remaining family member, a traumatised Yuki is finally introduced to somebody she thinks she can actually trust. But Eiji and the others warn Yuki she must not tell Ryouko anything. That said, Ryouko proves to be a good person, who even helps with some of Yuki’s troubles.

Introducing Ryouko also introduces the investigative element of the anime, which emphasises the Lost mystery, but is also honestly a breath of fresh air from the doom and gloom on Yuki’s side. A benefit of seeing the police’s perspective is that they are just as clueless as the audience. So it is much easier to follow their train of thought (compared to the other group led by Eiji and Kikyou). 

So, with three episodes done, the audience should now have a good idea of what they are getting themselves into. We’ve got the characters, the setting, and a couple of mysteries set up. All that’s left is to deliver on them (which is easier said than done).

Side notes:

Honestly, writing up this first encounter with Suzuna and Souma was harder than I expected. The problem is that Souma is too powerful to be deterred by anyone, especially not the police. I have to come up with some reason to force him out of the picture. I decided to use Suzuna for a couple of reasons. It gives the audience a good sense of her foresight powers. But also, maybe it could indicate Suzuna has another motive? I had thought as far as using Taiyou as Suzuna’s excuse: Souma did not inform Taiyou he was going off on his own. If he does anything unnecessary he could get into trouble. This also effortlessly allows me to foreshadow the final boss.

Yuki is a very introspective character, meaning she thinks to herself a lot but rarely shows it. Which is why having a character like Ryouko spell out things for the audience can be helpful. 

Importantly, Yuki does not reveal everything to Ryouko just yet, even though she really wants to. This ups the tension, but importantly, it also means Ryouko can stick around a little longer! So we (and Yuki) get some time to get attached to her.

Ryouko’s thought process right now would be: she thinks the group is suspicious, but needs more evidence to back her gut feeling. So she does the background check, leading to Kaibara where we can hint at Takuya’s connection to Yoshiaki and start setting up the Kaitodan arc.

Episode 4: Suspicion/Memory

With the main plot finally set up, I am now comfortable to slip in the SPR5 episode. Surprisingly, I actually did not mind the episode as much as I thought I would. 

My biggest recommendation for this episode would be to drop the entire Seiji/Shoumetsu subplot altogether. It is just too confusing with all the other information in the episode. And with Seiji dying eventually, in the grand scheme of things it means nothing. The main aim of this episode should be to focus on what tamashii really are and what they can do. Dropping Seiji also means Takuya doesn’t have to disappear during Yuki’s character development (?) during her moment with Yua. I would really like to use this episode to hint more at Takuya’s regret, and do some more solid foreshadowing of the orphanage arc. This then leads in nicely to the sudden phone call from Yumiko I have inserted at the end of this episode to set up the next.

Episode 5: Affection/Affection

Just like the anime, my versions of episodes 5 and 6 focus on the Kaitodan. However, I make some pretty big changes. While I did really enjoy the execution of the original episode 5 (which was my favourite episode of the whole series), the whole ‘heist’ made no sense to me. Kaitodan didn’t even enter the building past the roof. The only real merit of the original setting is the clock tower, which is an Easter egg referencing Tsubasa and Yoshiaki’s reunion in the actual game. 

So I decided to switch up the tone entirely, by having Takuya and Yuki meet Yoshiaki in a family restaurant (family being the key word). Again, admittedly not as dramatic as the original, but this saves a lot more time.

Something I think the anime really should have done was foreshadow Tsubasa better. He has deep ties to Takuya, but episode 5 is the first time we hear about him. I opted to foreshadow him in episode 3 (through Yumiko’s memories), and episode 2 (being used by Souma). This should make it easier for the audience to piece the puzzle together with Yuki.

My drama for this scene comes in the form of an actual kidnapping. By separating Takuya and Yuki, we get a glimpse into how each thinks of the other. It’s also great that Rui canonically flirts with Yuki so I want to see that. I also really want to show the family dynamic of the Kaitodan, for three reasons. 1. As a contrast with Yuki to emphasise the loss she feels in losing her own family; 2. The irony that Yoshiaki will join this family as a result of losing his own, and to know he will be in good hands; and 3. Kaitodan’s quirky personalities are the most lovable thing about them and we need to see more of it.

Side notes:

Yoshiaki’s power reveal having a purpose to the plot would be so much cooler than him just randomly making an owl feather disappear. I decided to show said power in the midst of a dramatic car chase scene. Because why not.

I gave quite a lot of thought into how Kaitodan could secretly track down Takuya and Yuki, and it goes like this: Kana bugged Yumiko, because Kaitodan know the organisation had something to do with Tsubasa disappearing. I envision it happening the night Yumiko left the organisation. Once Yumiko escapes far enough to be safe, she would feel a sense of relief. But her guard would also lower. Kana has been tracking Yumiko ever since, waiting for a clue. This means the Kaitodan heard Yumiko’s call with Kaibara and know Tsubasa is involved. But they couldn’t make a move on Yoshiaki directly because they were aware he was being surveilled. So they followed Takuya and Yuki via Yumiko, and waited for their chance. Also, because it was Yumiko they bugged, they don’t get to know the contents of Takuya and Yuki’s meeting with Yoshiaki. This is all implied in my version of the anime, but none of it is important. It is just a check I did to make sure everything made logical sense.

I went as far as making up a scene to show some Kaitodan interaction. But including that in the episode summary is probably too much detail, so I will indulge myself in these side notes:

The Kaitodan notice Takuya chasing them. Jack tells Yuki that her “lover boy” is here. Yuki gets flustered and says he’s only coming after her because of their contract.

Rui doesn’t understand what Yuki sees in an uncouth guy like Takuya. He talks about a time Takuya used some pretty underhanded methods to catch them. They managed to escape by the skin of their necks by Jack throwing an up-close bomb. Kana laughs remembering how the bomb totally ruined Rui’s clothes. Rui then gets angry at Jack because that was a new suit. Sumire tries to break (i.e. cut) them apart with her chainsaw, causing chaos as Kana continues laughing hysterically.

Yuki looks on this with a small smile, thinking the Kaitodan aren’t such a bad bunch.

Episode 6: Parting Ways/Choice

The anime concludes the Kaitodan arc in this episode, but I’d like to keep them for a little longer. I reserve the fighting for a later episode, and instead, I make this episode quite information heavy. The aim of all this is to lead into the orphanage arc. I did not like that Takuya went off to resolve his own regrets without Yuki in the original anime. However it makes no sense to have him make Yuki tag along with him to something unrelated to their contract. My solution to this is to give Yuki more agency, and the mind to make her own decision.

I intend for a couple of truth bombs to come out here: the organisation does human experimentation; Daichi works for the organisation; the organisation has a base in Lacuna; and Yuki and Takuya will die if they go to Lost. The anime left a lot of these reveals until the end, but I don’t think they are truly that important to warrant that. Having Yuki know these things now, and make a decision despite that, helps build her character more (so we can pull all her confidence down later).

Side notes:

Having Eiji reveal the truth puts both suspicion and trust in him. If he was working for Daichi, that means he was also working for the organisation. However, if what he says is the truth, the reason he reveals this information is because of his guilty conscience. To make sure he comes off as sincere, his guilt should be foreshadowed in earlier episodes.

I wonder, if Lacuna really did end up being the final boss, would that mean Yuki would not need to go to Lost anymore? If Yuki were able to save Souma and return him to ‘normal’ would she be satisfied with never seeing her father again? Or was she hoping Souma could join them on their journey to Lost as well? Honestly, not even I know what Yuki was thinking. All I know is that the anime built up Lacuna as a fake ‘last boss’ (spoiler: it’s not), so I will too.

Episode 7: Regret/Regret

Like the anime again, I make episode 7 the orphanage arc. Unlike the anime, I also combine it with Tsubasa’s arc. The key to making this work is to progress both, but put the focus on only one of the storylines. For episode 7, the orphanage will be the focus, while I leave Tsubasa for episode 8.

The anime originally put the focus of this episode on solving the mystery and finding the link between Lacuna and the orphanage. However, because of how I set things up in episode 6, our characters’ main goal is actually to find clues to the Iink between Souma and Tsubasa. I want the focus on the orphanage side to be entirely about Takuya’s character development, and how Yuki looks over that development. The real plot actually happens on the Kaitodan side. Naturally, Takuya and Yuki will eventually join the fray but I think, for the purpose of the final message of the anime, it is important to show that things can still happen without Takuya and Yuki. 

Side notes:

I want Ayano to have more screentime, so I am making her lead them to Hinako. Ayano thus acts as a facilitator, rather than an observer. Also, I plan to make her shuumeigiku an AF (because AF were built up as some really important thing in the original but were not even used in the final battle).

Having the episode end on a cliffhanger means the main characters (and hopefully the audience too) won’t have time to ponder the shuumeigiku, nor the birdhouse for now. This is intentional.

Episode 8: Choice/Parting Ways

In the original anime, episode 8 is the Lacuna break-in episode. But it’s still too early for that. My episode 8 wraps up the Kaitodan arc.

We've had some time to get to know the Kaitodan members so I want this episode to be their moment to shine. First off, putting the Kaitodan flashback at the start of the episode, instead of in the middle of a fight (like what episode 6 of the original did) makes it feel less hasty. I also use this opportunity to insert some more Kaitodan shenanigans through flashback. This episode focuses on the bonds they have with Tsubasa, and the pain of losing that bond. So to make that emotional impact really hit, I have to utilise the flashback effectively.

Other than that, I guess the fight will progress similarly to episode 6 of the original, just in a different setting.

Side notes:

Having Yoshiaki and Tsubasa’s confrontation in the middle of what was once the lab both were experimented on as children has symbolic significance, especially because AF are the key to the battle.

I avoided the whole flashback around Tsubasa slashing Tsuki/the organisation hacking Yoshiaki’s twitter to lure Tsubasa into a trap. Because I think this episode already has more than enough flashbacks. I want to try to avoid overuse of flashbacks because they tend to ruin the immersion and pacing of an episode. If I really had to insert it somewhere though, it would be during an exposition by Souma when he calls Tsubasa weak.

I tried to make Sumire and Kana’s roles more relevant. I am not sure if it worked.

You think the title of this episode refers to Yoshiaki and Tsubasa parting ways, but did you expect Ryouko would also actually die? This is (I hope), an unexpected death, and I want the audience to feel almost just as devastated as Yuki does. Ryouko’s stuck around for a while now, so killing her off should have some sort of impact.

The ending of my version of this episode is a direct copy of the Tsuki Taiyou scene from episode 10 of the original. Placing it here is a set up for what I have planned in my version of the Lacuna break-in. But alternatively, it could also be placed at the end of my version of episode 6, because that is the episode we learn more about the heads of the organisation.

Episode 9: Fate/Fate

The original anime made this entire episode a flashback. And I hate that. Because I hate flashbacks. And using one for an entire episode just seems like lazy writing. I will address the whole thing with Daichi in my own way in a later episode, but for now I’ve got to do the break-in.

So, in a nutshell, I was very unsatisfied with how the anime handled the break-in. It was anticlimactic, and the real conflict (with Souma) happened nowhere near Lacuna. I understand the need for futility, but having nothing accomplished at all in the grand scheme of things is also doing a disservice to your audience. Because it’s wasting time if it’s not progressing the story or characters.

Essentially, I want my version of this episode to deliver the same information as the original anime episode 9 (flashback), but with about 70% more action and 99% less flashback. 

As I mentioned before, Lacuna was built up like a climactic boss battle so I am going to treat it like one. This is also a chance to foreshadow Taiyou’s powers that exhibit symptoms of Lost. and a chance for Suzuna to show off more of how formidable her powers can be.

I’ve put Tsuki as the miniboss because mate, she’s perfect. Why wouldn’t I? The anime seriously missed a golden opportunity. Tsuki is actually a really good character to fight against because she stands for a lot. She is obviously on Taiyou’s side, but in a tragic way. Despite being betrayed by him, she still stands by him, and will sacrifice herself even after he turned her into a monster. This is exactly what makes her fascinating. She brings moral greyness to an otherwise black and white fight against Taiyou. It’s also a chance to show that Akira is becoming more powerful, and Yuki feels more confident in herself. 

That said, the end of this episode is a direct test of Yuki’s character development, because she’s been put in the exact same situation she was in at the start of the anime. This is her chance to fix that regret that’s been haunting her the whole time. And now she has Akira by her side, she can be brave enough to move forward. Little does she know, what lies beyond the door is really going to test her limits…

Side notes:

Yuki being a product of two worlds was surprising, but i feel the impact is stronger if she gets told that directly by Taiyou, rather than the audience seeing it through a flashback. It adds more tension, especially as Taiyou gets away.

In my version of the anime, it is entirely possible for Takuya and Yuki to not even be aware Tsuki was once human (but the audience does know). I can play up the dramatic irony, by having Tsuki voice her thoughts. Yuki might get the feeling: this monster is completely loyal to Taiyou. Is she his pet?

On the other hand, if I choose to have Tsuki present herself as human-turned-monster, this gives an opportunity for her to explain there is good in following the Noah plan: it will save a lot of people. Going with this version should involve suggesting that Tsuki at least genuinely does want to save the people on her side. Maybe she has a child?

The Noah plan is important for understanding Taiyou’s motives. But honestly it is not that important for the audience to know all the details. Which is why I want Takuya to be the one to see it. He’ll trivialise it, because he knows what’s really important is what’s happening for him now. And really, Noah is just trivia/fan service for the audience in this anime, seeing as there is barely any moral ambiguity in Taiyou anyway.

Episode 10: Decision/Decision

This is the Souma episode. Despite the very different build up, the events in my version aren’t that different from the anime. 

I thought the lab would be an appropriate final confrontation setting. It symbolises Souma’s desire for power which ultimately led to his current downfall. But he wanted that power to protect Yuki. Which should resonate with Akira. And that is why he is also there.

Akira needed more screen time in the anime. He is not just a weapon; tamashii are not tools. He is Yuki’s protector, and his very presence as a tamashii implies his regret and desire around that.

This is simultaneously the grieving episode (original episode 10), which I’ve merged into the seaside scene. To really heighten the emotion, Yuki should have an outburst. Think about it, she’s been keeping everything bottled up inside her: her lab PTSD, the tragic fate of the orphans, and Ryouko. Losing her brother was the last straw. Showing vulnerability to Takuya is a sign she trusts him.

At the same moment Yuki loses one of the most important people in her life, Takuya gives her hope for the future. A bittersweet moment like this is really what the message of the anime should be about. Additionally the timing of this ray of hope means it is so much more important to Yuki to hold onto that image of happiness (and more impactful for the audience).

Takuya showing willingness to give up his contract is the ultimate sign this man cares for Yuki.

Side notes:

I feel like I packed a lot into this episode, but that’s because Souma’s death scene actually goes by very quickly, because neither side are putting up much of a fight? Both the original anime and my version have to rely on flashbacks to pad it out.

I foreshadowed Souma’s fate using Tsuki (both morphed into monsters).

Akira should also feel emotionally impacted by Souma’s death. Why does the anime make it seem like both Daichi and Akira show favouritism towards Yuki? Souma is also Daichi’s child, and he also saw Akira as a big brother. 

I also think the flashbacks should show more of the three interacting together, instead of solely Yuki and Souma.

Souma gets some final character development by apologising to Akira before he dies. 

At the seaside, Akira is also grieving. But he is full of guilt. He does not have the right to comfort Yuki.

Putting ourselves in Yuki’s shoes for a moment: the only two people left as a reminder of her previous ordinary life were her brother and her father. Now that Souma is gone, she is left with no choice but to go to Lost. Even if we ignore all the saving the world rhetoric, Yuki would still go just for personal reasons alone. Because what Yuki wants more than ever right now is the comfort of family. It’s an incredibly tragic situation. That’s why it is so important that Takuya shows a willingness to break his contract. He’s not just comforting her because he wants her to get over it and go to Lost so he can do his job. Knowing this allows Yuki to trust him, and show her vulnerable side.

This is the moment Yuki wishes things were different. If Takuya wasn’t here with her, she really might have reset the world like Daichi wanted her to.

Episode 11: Trust/Trust

My version of episode 11 is quite similar to the anime’s episode 11. Except I cut some NPC moments and massively extend the parallel world moment.

Suzuna and Taiyou’s scene plays out like in the anime. If possible, I’d like them to have some conversation in the sedan hinting that Taiyou has lost his way to his original altruistic goal.

I make the crux of this episode the parallel worlds within Lost. I thought that part was very cool in the original anime, but it just wasn’t impactful enough. 

I want to use this as an opportunity for Yuki to see Daichi’s memory. Essentially, I want to condense the flashback episode (episode 9) in the original anime to its bare essentials. This is probably going to be challenging, but with a combination of visuals paired with efficient narration by Daichi, I think it is possible to make things move quicker.

Basically, I want Yuki to see the whole picture, to understand her father’s perspective, and despite that make her final decision. Yuki realises her father is from a parallel world and is trying to save a lot of people from another world. But even so she is conflicted about whether what she is doing is right.

I like that this allows a clear link to happiness at the end. Yuki resonates with Daichi’s own desire for happiness, causing her to remember the happy future she painted together with Takuya. This is a much clearer way of explaining how Takuya and Yuki managed to free themselves from the effects of Lost, while also emphasising their bond.

Side note:

I’d like to believe that even with a clear image of happiness in mind, a normal human like Takuya should not be able to escape Lost unscathed. I’d like to hint that the fact he is even able to function in this space is because of his bond with Yuki, a girl intricately connected to parallel worlds and thus more immune to their effects?

Episode 12: Future/Future

The last episode’s boss battle with Taiyou plays out largely like the original anime. But I think there is scope to have a lot more satisfying pay-offs.

Lost is how the tamashii came to be, so first off I would recommend there be more of them. Even Tsubasa, who disappeared, could possibly exist as a parallel world version of himself. That’s what Lost is about, after all.

It would be fitting if Taiyou also gets taken down by these other tamashii, including the orphans. This would be an appropriate approach to highlight the contrast between Taiyou (who is alone), and Takuya and Yuki (who are not). Additionally, I bring back the shuumeigiku, which means ‘to endure’, in order to emphasise the justice that was eventually served.

I wanted there to be less spotlight on Suzuna and more on Akira. After all, he is the one with the real meaningful connection to protecting Yuki. Therefore I have him deal the final blow after evolving. On top of being epic fanservice, the fact he is the only tamashii who evolves in the entire anime means there is narrative significance to it. It is the culmination of his bond with Yuki, and it is fitting that he can finally wield that power to protect her properly.

After the fight in the original anime, Daichi shows Yuki an alternate world without tragedy, an ideal world. However, importantly, this is a world where Yuki never interacts with Takuya, Geek, or any of the other people she’s met on her journey, and I think the anime could have done better to show that. 

So my alternative is to have Yuki see those happy versions of Ryouko, Yoshiaki etc in the previous episode, while showing her own alternative life in this one. I really want to juxtapose the happiness she feels living an ordinary life with her family, against the missed opportunities to meet people like Ryouko and Takuya. This provides a lot more ambiguity to her choice, and we get to see the conflict playing out in her head in real time. By actually making it possible to follow her train of thought, the audience will be more likely to understand why she makes the decision she makes.

Finally, I choose to end my version of the anime with a monologue from Daichi as a homage to the game. But also, it seems appropriate because he is an observer, just like us. And as observers, who are we to judge the choices people make? I contrast Daichi’s message of hope to the somewhat less than ideal futures everyone leads in order to show the ambiguous ending I think the original anime was going for. Regardless of whether you end up better or worse, life moves on.

Side notes:

Yuki needs to show more emotion when she sees Daichi. Seriously.

I referenced the ending of the original anime (Yuki’s ideal house) in the ‘ideal’ world Daichi shows Yuki. I think the message the anime wanted to convey with that scene is that what we perceive to be true happiness may not really be that. And that’s kind of the vibe I’m going for in my ideal world scene, which is why I put it there instead of at the end.

Daichi should thank Akira. Holy fuck the poor guy’s been through so much with absolutely zero gratitude. He kept your daughter alive gdi

Ultimately the problem of Lost was never properly resolved? But the anime left it equally open-ended so I’m cool with that.

Finally, some overall points 

I removed Keigo and Shunpei entirely from my version of the anime. Because they weren't needed. Keigo I can put back in (because he and Yuuji serve the same narrative purpose), but I don't want Shunpei. He was an original character created purely to betray Ryouko and then die. I have no need for a character like that. He could be Ryouko's assassinator I guess, but I would rather the sniper be a tamashii cameo like Wolf or something. Or nobody at all. Because the sniper as a character is not  important at all. 

I removed all the deliberate food scenes because there was no scope to include them. It is one thing to claim you want to put more emphasis on food, but that should be second to creating an actually viable product.

And with that, this project is finally complete. 

I admit I had high hopes for the anime, and it frustrates me that it turned out the way it did when there were so many simple things they could have done to make it less confusing. 

That said, fixing something that has already been done is much easier than creating something entirely from scratch. And while everything may work on paper, translating that into practice with the actual production is a very different story. Therefore, despite how everything turned out, I still commend the production team for being able to make the anime a reality at all. 

As I've mentioned before, it is not easy to make an engaging story fit in the span of just twelve episodes, let alone one adapted from an epic game featuring time travel and parallel worlds. But I wish they could have tried just a little bit harder, to be just a little bit more risky, to deliver a product we could actually enjoy.

Some of you may like my version of the anime better, some of you may not. A lot of my personal biases definitely showed through, and it was more challenging than I thought translating my ideas into writing. If I’ve confused you about anything, feel free to drop me a message.  

If this post wasn’t long enough for you, you can read more of my analyses on the Shoumetsu Toshi anime below: 

My thoughts on the anime before it aired

My thoughts on the anime after it aired

a deeper analysis of episodes 5 and 6

[madartiste]

Deadly Fortune, Book 1, Chapters 1-5

So I started reading the only English translation I could find of the DMC4 “Deadly Fortune” novels to mine them for good character info.  I have no idea if anyone else will be interested, but I’ll post the notes I’m taking here.  Mostly this is just a retelling of the game, but there are scenes that aren’t shown and some interesting context/internal monologue things to be found.   I skipped the first chapter because it was just Dante and Trish being cryptic, and I didn’t notice anything interesting.  I’ll post more as I work my way through the novels.

The chapters are referred to as “stages.”  Stuff in bold are things I found particularly interesting.  Everything is under the cut because I’m a wordy fool and I didn’t want to drown anyone’s dashboard.

EDIT: Forgot the friggin link to where I found the translation: https://originaldmc.github.io/DivinityStatue/Downloads.html

Stage 02 (Pregame)

Kyrie visits Nero (he doesn't live with her).  She sometimes brings little gifts to the knights in the barracks.

Nero doesn't know if his arm is poisoned or possessed

Kyrie is one year older, treats Nero like a kid when something bad happens

Kyrie hasn't sung in front of a big crowd before (though she has sung in church)

Attendance at the Festival of the Blade isn't mandatory, so Nero finds an excuse not to go every year -- except this one since Kyrie asks him if he's going and she's performing

Nero's arm was injured one month prior to the game.  The demons were in the 'forests of the suburbs.'  (Later he says it's Mitis forest, though when he describes getting to the scene he doesn't actually go that far?)  Only three knights were sent because the ones that show up near the city are usually weak, but this time there were a lot of them.  Nero isn't considered a 'team player,' and he thinks that he is about as far from being a hero as you can get, so he isn't given tasks like that. 

Nero is given tasks that require him to work alone and thinks that even the order has secrets he wants to keep.  His job is to deal with humans who've been possessed by demons that the Order thinks can't be saved.  He is expected to kill them without a trace (OMG!).  Basically, the Order doesn't want the people to lose faith in them if a devout follower is possessed by a demon.  The people are told that Sparda will protect them, and if they knew the truth it would look bad for the Order. Nero says he isn't happy about killing people, but if no one else will do it, he will, since it's very difficult to save someone who's possessed.  So Nero is basically a hit man jeeeeeeeeeeeez.

Another reason Nero is shunned is that he likes using guns.  Being the 'Order of the Sword,' they place a huge emphasis on swords.  Nero doesn't care about that -- if it kills demons, why not use it? -- and since there are no gunsmiths, he built Blue Rose himself.  (He talks a lot about the gun a lot and why he chose a revolver too.  Kid knows his guns, though he says he's not a 'serious gun expert.')

The 'dean of the Orphanage' where Nero was raised is an old lady named Sister Xista.  (Nero comments that he knows she loves the orphans she works with.)

Kyrie was out in the forest with the orphans on an outing.  Ah!  She had come back from Mitis forest and was in the city when they got attacked by (30!) scarecrows.  Nero runs along the rooftops to get there (and is really casual about it like a normal person could just vault up there and run).

The three knights are Josh (who dies -- poor Josh), Sagan, and Tonio (who seems to be in charge?  He's also old fashioned, uncomfortable around Nero, and also 'obsessed with honor.').

Apparently Red Queen is so suped up that if Nero uses it too close to people he could accidentally burn them.

Nero likes that Kyrie is the type of person who would protect other people at the risk of herself but also kinda hates it since she could get hurt.

There's a very interesting passage where Nero thinks about how many of the knights want to become famous and are very into the legend of Sparda, but Nero feels they should be focusing more on the 'good heart of his struggle to protect humanity' part of the story.  He also feels they should be less mad at him for jumping into the fight and stealing their thunder and instead comfort Kyrie and the children who were nearly killed.

An Assault pops in through a 'magic array' right behind Kyrie as she's trying to tend to Josh's wound.  This is where the "Kyrie, run!" memory from when Nero blacks out in Agnus' lab comes in. Josh tries to defend her, but gets slashed up.  His blood actually spatters on Kyrie's face, who is too stunned to react.  Nero revvs Red Queen all the way up and jumps at the demon, can't block an attack which is how his arm gets hurt.  He burns out the Exceed system so he can't really protect himself.  Sagan and Tonio jump in to help while Josh gets Kyrie and the kids away.  The demon chases them and injures a kid named Kelly and kills Josh.  Nero finally takes it out with his gun.

One of the kids is named Gili.

The Order tries to hide the incident, but since a bunch of kids were involved, it's a bit hard.  Josh was an orphan (like Nero), and all of the other adults were forbidden from talking about it.  The whole thing seems to piss Nero of since Josh died and Kyrie was injured. He decides to try to get stronger, and apparently Sagan and Tonio have the same idea since they start training a lot.

Nero refers to a building called the 'Sword House' which used to be the Order's HQ until the 'new Faculty HQ' was built.  Credo's office is still in the Sword House, and Nero tries to avoid making too much noise on the creaky stairs.  Hahaha! Credo asks Nero "How are you so slow?"  Credo's got a new mission for Nero -- Nero refers to it as 'dirty work.'.

There's an 'Investigation Bureau' for the Order.

Credo wants the mission dealt with quietly since today is a festival day.  He DOES very seriously ask if Nero is okay to fight. Which Nero sarcastically replies "Will someone else do it if I say no?"  

Red Queen is out at the 'technical bureau' for repairs because it has a lot of special parts.  Credo gives Nero one of the Caliburn swords (the Durandal is the officers' sword type).  He also tells Nero not to use his gun because it'll make noise and draw attention.  Nero notices that Credo is out of sorts.  He's apparently pretty upset about Nero being injured, Josh being killed, and all of it being covered up.

There's some guy named Kars (or Karls?  The translation keeps changing his name) who Nero asked to buy that cute necklace for Kyrie.  Nero is nice and apologetic for keeping the guy waiting, which throws Kars off a bit.

The Devil Bringer hurts as well as glows when there's a demon around.

Nero beats up a bunch of Scarecrows and heads back to go listen to Kyrie sing.  That's literally the only reason he's going since he doesn't actually have to be there at the ceremony.

Okay, so Fortuna Castle is where Sparda supposedly lived when he was lord.  It's used as an Art Gallery these days, and citizens are free to come and go as they like.  The 'technical bureau' room (the underground lab) isn't known to most people, though, and their purpose is to build weapons to fight demons.

Agnus loves research, teaching, and Sanctus apparently.  He also talks to Yamato.  It doesn't talk back, but he's mainly complaining to it about not being able to fix the damn thing.  He found Yamato a year ago on the outskirts of Fortuna. Even though the sword is only mentioned a few times in ancient books, Angus recognized it right away.  In the translation Devil Arms are referred to as Magic Swords -- which might be how the Order thinks of them?  In any case, they lost track of Sparda's swords after he left 2000 years ago.  

Apparently you can repair Devil Arms.  Some repair themselves overtime, other kinds can be fixed if you have the right type of material.  Yamato is neither of those.  Agnus thinks if Yamato was made from a Devil, then this makes sense -- BUT if that was the case it should've lost all its power when it was broken.  Instead, Yamato still has lots of power.  He calls the sword 'unpleasant' after yelling at it.  Heh.

Gloria shows up with a guy named Greg.  Agnus hates Gloria and is apparently a misogynist.  As if we need another reason to dislike him.  He doesn't trust her and also thinks it's distasteful for women to flaunt their stuff as a 'weapon.'  Also Gloria clearly likes harassing him because he's such an uptight jerk.

The Order has never accepted 'foreigners' into its ranks before (hence some of Agnus' distrust).  There's a line about the church paying attention to 'the birthplace and family' of its members -- which is interesting.  I wonder if that's part of the reason some of the knights are weird about Nero?  Because no one knows who his family is…

Gloria told them she was a treasure hunter and that's how she found the Devil Sword Sparda.  Agnus thinks the sword is basically a holy relic since it was Sparda's actual sword.  She caused quite a stir when she showed up and asked to speak to Sanctus (the knight who met her thought she was his mistress!).

Gloria also brought along the Devil Arms that were used to power the smaller Hell Gates (lol, Trish just swiped all of Dante's stuff!).  The real Hell Gate can only be opened with a complete Yamato.

Stage 03 (Start of the game)

Nero bought his headphones from Kars.

Nero thinks the preaching is bullshit.  It was Kyrie and Credo and their parents that showed him love and warmth, not some 'sinless' god.  He thinks it's weird that their parents were so kind to him, and that it was probably because he has 'silver' hair like Sparda is said to have.  There's an interesting line: "I don't have parents, so in their hearts I might be someone who has a relationship with Sparda."

He feels they were good people, if blind and naive, and seems angry they were killed by demons.  It happened before he was a knight, and he doesn't know the circumstances.  There's a reference to them investigating the ruins in Mitis Forest when they were killed?  But that's why he doesn't believe in Sparda -- because why would god let good people like that die at the hands of demons? He also says that he could understand if it was someone like him (!) but not people who were devout, kind believers.

Very Vergil line from Nero: "So, I don't believe in God, I only believe in power."

He also decided to stick around to protect Kyrie, presumably because no god was going to do it.

The necklace Nero bought for Kyrie isn't very expensive.  He wanted to thank her for taking care of him and congratulate her on getting to be the soloist at the ceremony.

"The Buddhism of the Pope on the stage continues."  That line cracked me up.  I assume it just means that Sanctus kept going with his sermon.

Dante shoots Sanctus, everyone panics.  Nero doesn't worry about Kyrie dropping her gift since he can just buy her another one if she wants.

Nero's surprised by how fast Dante wrecks the knights since they're trained to fight demons.  He mentions that 'many demons have human forms.'  He didn't even stop to think before drop kicking Dante.  He just wanted to save Kyrie.

When they end up on top of the statue of Sparda, Nero realizes that Dante is way stronger than he is even though Nero is far stronger than a normal person.

There's some surprise from Nero when Dante doesn't care that Credo and Kyrie escape, and he wonders if the 'murderer' has some kind of conscience after all.  But he also doesn't care.  Dante is clearly amused by this whole thing.

Nero's got an 'auto-loader' for Blue Rose because he has to load two types of ammo.

Nero doesn't use his right arm at first because he doesn't know when reinforcements will show up and doesn't want to have to explain it to them.

Dante doesn't seem to know what to make of Nero's arm at first?  He asks if there is 'titanium inside.'  Which is weird.  Not sure if that's a translation thing or not.

Nero's right hand might actually be stronger than Dante.  When Dante goes to staff him and Nero catches Rebellion, Dante can't quite pull away (though there's no indication of how hard he was trying).

Dante says "You too?" when Nero goes to throw the statue's sword at him, and Nero is confused.  Dante also says "No, you don't have the smell of garbage," which I assume means he can tell that Nero isn't one of the artificial demons like the other knights.

Ooof.  Nero thinks that he's killed humans possessed by demons but he's never killed a living person before.  He can't really tell what Dante is, but he's gonna kill him.  There's a weird line about how 'some fierce part of my heart awakened' and that he 'must kill this man, just like he is my old enemy.'

Nero isn't thinking clearly when he nails Dante to the statue and is a bit freaked out by his own reaction.

Nero's reaction to Dante surviving being impaled: 'This is a very outrageous guy.'  Hah!

There's more made out of Dante saying that he and Nero are the same in the book.  Dante out says "I am not human, are you not the same?" and Nero replies "I am… human," but he hides his arm and is shaken up by the question.

Dante still yeets out through the ceiling, but he calls Nero "little devil" when he leaves.  It's kinda cute.

Nero's never met a demon that can understand human language.  Evidently it's mainly the powerful ones who can.  He worries that he might be a demon after all.  The reinforcements show up before he can go check out the dead Order knights to confirm that they're not human.  He wonders if he just imagined it, but knows that asking questions won't get him anything.

Switch to Dante POV.  Sparda told his boys stories when they were little, though it seems like he left when they were still too young to really grasp everything or to think it was weird that their father was a demon.  A lot of the stories of Sparda are considered just fairy tales and legends, so it's hard to piece together what he was really up to for those 2000 years before he met Eva.

The wording is strange, but Dante seems to realize that Vergil likely came to Fortuna to investigate legends of Sparda.  After thinking it over, he laughs off the thought that Nero could be Vergil's kid.

Trish is 'very concerned about punctuality' and Dante has to go to the castle to meet her.

Back to Nero:  He wants to go back to the dormitory and rest (what a mood), but Credo wants him to chase down Dante.  Nero actually thinks he's not sure he can do it.

There's someone named Claude who's Durandl Nero was using?  It just references "Claude's Durandl' being a very good sword.

Fortuna is surrounded by a solid wall, and there is only one exit by land. It's in the opposite direction of the Opera House and… the Fortuna duna? (Maybe the docks?)  The Order keeps an eye on the ships in the port, though, so Dante can't escape that way.

Awww, he thinks the necklace suits Kyrie.

Demons attack the courtyard outside of the Opera house.  Demons in Fortuna aren't rare, but having so many is.  Also Nero has never seen them in the center of the city before in his 'few years as a knight.'   Nero wonders if Dante is responsible.  The plan is to take the citizens to HQ to keep them safe.  (I get the feeling that the layout of the island is not so spread out as it is in the game.  Either that or headquarters is actually a mistranslation.)

Nero mentally gushes about how great Kyrie is, that she'd even protect someone who treated her poorly.  The boy is totally smitten.  More very Vergil type thoughts: 'compassion without power can't change anything.'  He decides he will be strong so that Kyrie's compassion isn't wasted. (Awww).

Nero deliberately breaks the archway to keep the demons from getting to the people.  He ends up having to take the long way to get to HQ because the road is blocked

Stage 04 (Sanctus' resurrection and Berial)

'The room on the uppermost corner of the Magic Swords Corps' is Sanctus' bedroom.  I'm assuming this is in the HQ building since this scene analogous to the one in the game where Sanctus is resurrected in the 'Ascension Chamber.'

Hahaha!  Sanctus refers to Dante as an "awful guy."  Okay, he apparently knew that Dante might come after him, but didn't expect him to drop into the middle of a big ceremony.  He's also annoyed that he was killed in front of all the believers.

Agnus and Credo clearly don't like each other.  Credo deliberately says some things to piss him off and Agnus absolutely takes the bait.

There's some strange wording, but my interpretation is:  Credo partly sent Nero after Dante to make the kid look good.  He knows that Nero isn't respected by the Order, but Credo thinks Nero is very strong.  There's a comment about the Ascension Ceremony -- which Credo is convinced Nero could survive despite the low success rate (it says only 10 people survived, but that doesn't seem right).  Evidently Credo wants to help Nero get in everyone's good graces to prepare him for the ceremony (Credo!  Wut r u doin'?!)

Also Credo doesn't think there's any point in reasoning with Agnus.  He really doesn't like him.  Sanctus has to be the adult.  He has some good skills in that, having to get all the different personalities in the Order to work with each other.

Agnus is a giant Sanctus fanboy.  He's also easily excitable, which both Sanctus and Credo comment on.

Back to Nero:  Lots o' demons in the city.  He's very confused.  Certain places are easier to open a Hell Gate than others.  The translation is confusing here, saying it's easy to open a 'cave' in the area around 'Fodu.'  I'm assuming that it means you can open portals to the Underworld easily on Fortuna?

Nero is pretty sure Rebellion is a powerful Devil Arm since he felt something in his Devil Bringer when he touched it.

Fortuna Castle was built up in the mountain because the people of Fortuna didn't want to destroy the environment.  They do a lot to try to preserve the state of the island as close to how it was when Sparda was there.  Nero thinks Sparda wouldn't care if they made their lives more convenient by modernizing things. (Pretty sure he's right.)

They refer to the big Hell Gate in the city as 'the monument.'  Nero is surprised to find one in the Ferrum Hills.

Nero can tell how strong a demon is by how much his Devil Bringer hurts.

Hahaha!  He thinks that Berial's sword is 'a little pitiful.'    There's actually a nice illustration of Nero facing down Berial.

Nero seems convinced that Dante is a demon when he hears Berial also speak in a human language.  There's a weird phrase: 'a lovely type of chat in the demonic race.'  I'm not sure what that means.

Nero doesn't like heat.  He's also annoyed (?) that Berial just ignored him because he's a human.  He also calls Berial old.  Also, oh snap, he quickly realizes that Berial is no threat to him, though at first he's a little worried.  Nero thinks Berial is weaksauce compared to fighting with Dante.  Berial also calls Nero "little devil."

Berial is surprised by Blue Rose.  He's never seen a gun before.  Nero's ticked that Berial has stronger fire than Red Queen.

Nero has been avoiding thinking about his arm too much, but fighting Berial makes him realize that his power is definitely like a demon's.  Berial demands to know if Nero is human or not, and Nero's response is basically "I'm a special case."  After Nero beats him up, Berial says he's sure that Nero is a devil, though Nero now denies it.

Berial gives him a weird look and says "Neither a demon nor a human being… that's it.  You are like him."  And then yeets into the Hell Gate because he knows he can't beat Nero without a refresh.

Nero apparently tries to destroy the Hell Gate but can't.  He decides to move on, and wonders if the 'him' Berial was talking about is the man in red -- Dante.

Stage 05 (Fortuna Castle and Bael)

Dante POV: He's running around the castle to find Trish.  She didn't tell him where to meet, only when.  He wonders if Sparda really lived in such a place because there are only normal human things lying around and not Devil Arms.

He pops by the library and grabs a book off the shelf (Nero in the game comments on Dante having been there), but can't read the language.  He feels like someone is watching him and calls them out.  It's Trish who didn't want to startle him because she looks different.  Dante feels the library suits Trish because 'she has a strong desire for knowledge.'  (Interesting.)  She doesn't actually show her Gloria disguise to him here.

Trish tells him where Yamato is.  Dante wants it back because it's a memento of both his father and brother.  There's a nice illustration of Dante and Trish.

They decide to deal with the Order before grabbing the sword since it's broken and they can't use it.  Dante decides to poke around the castle a bit more, though Trish correctly guesses he's looking for anything that might have belonged to his dad.

Back to Nero: It seems like Nero hasn't been up to Lamina Peak (It's also called the Holy Mountain) before.  He thinks the snow might be normal, but isn't sure.  Tourists are rare, but the Castle is a big draw.

So the complicated route to get to the castle might have been to make it hard for enemies to get there in the Middle Ages.  But he says the bridge is 2000 years old in the next sentence, so…  Not really the Middle Ages.

Nero is actually pleased the bridge gets broken because it gives him a shortcut he wouldn't have thought of otherwise.  Fights the Frosts, thinks they can't be the cause of the snow because they're not that kind of demon.

Nero is sure Gloria isn't from Fortuna, and he definitely notices the saucy clothing.  Fortuna ladies don't dress like that.  He mainly wants to know who she is.  He has no idea why his Devil Bringer is still hurting after the demons are defeated, and wonders if that means the woman is a demon.

He hides his Devil Bringer from her -- which is why he doesn't shake her hand.  She knows who he is, which means she's a knight, so he assumes that his arm is reacting to other demons nearby.

Gloria lists his nicknames: "'The bad bird to get along with', the arrogant atheist''

He's not surprised.

Ah, he turns away when she puts the knife away because he's being a bit polite and kinda doesn't want to get flashed.

Oh, he HAS been to the Castle, but he can't remember when.  It was at least 3 years ago, before he was a knight.  He doesn't like the place because of the 'damp air.'

He thinks maybe Dante came here to steal art (hah!). 

Nero can't completely read the book Dante was looking at either.  He knows enough to pick out that it's about demons, though, and he thinks that it might help him understand what Dante is after.

He's never seen the Bianco Angelos before, and figures it has to be a new weapon of the Order.  Nero seems to think the guy in the armor is just a jerk messing with him.

Nero isn't even slightly tempted by Bael's sexy ladies -- the translation uses the word 'goblins' for them.  Like Dante says in the game, Bael smells pretty bad.  Also Nero can barely understand what Bael is saying, his human is so garbled.  Bael also calls Nero "little devil" when he dies.

Link to the next part of the notes: https://madartiste.tumblr.com/post/186824600040/deadly-fortune-book-1-chapters-6-11

[purkinje-effect]

The Anatomy of Melancholy, 49

Table of Contents. Second Instar, Chapter 16. Go to previous. Go to next. TWs: drug use, somewhat sensual. It must have been that silt bean he ate.

_______________________________

‘Choly took Sticks back to his rowhouse in the Deenwood officers’ residential. Angel busied itself in the kitchen. Sticks tossed down his flamethrower beside the golf bag in the corner, and atop it his coat, goggles, and ushanka.

“This place have a shower?” the ghoul asked, looking up the stairs in a tank top.

‘Choly’s scalped tensed, recalling Olivia’s caveat. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the texture of the ghoul’s arms which likely covered him head to toe.

“I haven’t tried the plumbing since I got here.” You’re smoothskin. “There’s showers in the enlisted barracks, if you’d--”

“--Nah, if it’s all right with you, I’d rather a good old fashioned one-person bath. It’s been a couple weeks.” He started upstairs.

“Olivia told me the residential plumbing wasn’t safe,” he finally spilled out.

Sticks paused a moment before continuing upward.

“For you, definitely not.”

“...Then she wasn’t lying about it being safe for ghouls?”

The ghoul stopped at the upstairs landing.

“Therapeutic, even.”

Once ‘Choly heard the bathroom door shut, he milled about to survey whether his belongings had remained untouched in his absence. Soon after, the water started, and he found himself upstairs as well, under the guise of assessing his closet effects.

He decided that, during their day on base, he didn’t want to wear his uniform. Stripping out of it, he instead wore the golfing ensemble he’d compiled not a week ago: the cobalt pinstripe dress shirt with white contrast collar and cuffs, the golfing khakis, the mismatched striped and argyle knee high socks, the geranium red cashmere. He stood at length with his arms wrapped across themselves, running his hands over the softness of the sweater as he stared at himself in the broken closet mirror. I’m not a war criminal. Am I? He remembered who’d given him the clothing he’d put on, and knew that he had more important problems to take care of than attempting some vague metric of his morality.

The water had stopped long ago. The bathroom door opened, for Sticks to sit on the side of ‘Choly’s bed to put his gloved left hand back on. Now wearing a Beaver Creek Alley bowling shirt and a pair of khaki slacks, the blond ghoul snorted through his lack of a nose as he noticed the chemist had joined him upstairs, and noticed the odd ensemble.

“Still fixated on dressing uncanny-sharp.” Sticks rubbed at his short under-chin beard. “Form over function’s such an ill fit in the Wasteland. Still, though. It’s nice to feel like I can disregard a need for functionality or security once in a while. Let my guard down and just be comfortable.”

“I just want to be able to stop and breathe and relax for five seconds.” ‘Choly’s hands dropped to his side as he mirrored the regard for the other man’s outfit, and they ended up in his pockets to disguise the exasperation in his body language. “...So you don’t wholly distrust Liv?”

“I only distrust her chem habits.” Sticks slouched back on the bed in dislike of his recollection. “God, she was one of your coworkers. No wonder you had such a hangup over administering chems yourself. I remember that one meltdown you had. Somebody came into the pharmacy, hadn’t used Med-X before. And you had to show them how. Your boss sent you home before lunch. It’s one of the only times you ever beat me home.”

‘Choly’s glasses slipped down his nose as his face slacked, and his cataracted gaze oozed out over the top of them.

“If I didn’t administer, I had to observe. Most days, I didn’t have the nerve to administer. She did. I... I saw things. A lot of things.” He flinched, forcing himself to instead remember how heavily he relied on the Melancholia to psychologically survive his military career. “I... I think silt bean flour would work as an ingredient substitute. Angel says it remembers one of the main ingredients was soy, so. I found some on my way through Billerica. You’re good in the kitchen. Would you help me dry roast them?”

Sticks could recognize the request for a meaningful distraction. He stood, grabbed his bag beside the baseboard, and gestured for ‘Choly to exit first. The two returned downstairs. Angel flitted about on the back patio, though neither could tell exactly what it was on about.

The Handy had placed the silt beans in the refrigerator. The chemist and entrepreneur sat at the kitchen table, peeling from their pods the beans and collecting them in a deep bowl. 'Choly kept finding himself spacing out, staring, and smiling as he watched Sticks split the pods with his gloved hand and retrieving the beans with his other. He cleared his throat and picked up another pod to work at.

“You didn’t weigh in earlier... Do you think I should try the X-Cell-Squared? Should I trust Olivia’s word, that it doesn’t have withdrawal issues?”

The ghoul thought a moment, but didn’t stop working.

“Ultimately, it’s your call. Your body, not mine. You want my opinion, though. If you run the risk of not feeling normal without it, I don’t think it’s a good idea. There’s a lot of different ways to feel addicted to--and withdrawals from--junk.”

‘Choly did and didn’t like this kind of an answer from someone who had been, and likely still was, a chem dealer. He couldn’t tell how honest anyone was being with him anymore, or what motive honesty could have. He popped a raw bean in his mouth in compulsion and chewed it. Expecting a raw, grassy flavor, he warmed instead to its starchy vague butteriness. Maybe he was just paranoid of everyone.

The two finished the first step of the task, and moved on to the second. Sticks spread out the beans in a frying pan. He used a match to ignite the pilot light on the back burner of the oven’s stove, then adjusted the flame to the lowest it’d go. He turned and started to say something, only for ‘Choly to lean up and grab his shirt, to press their lips together. Despite the abruptness of it, Sticks didn’t stop ‘Choly, and eventually kissed him back. He pulled back, slowly, with a dark heavy-lidded glance, and he ran his right hand around the back side of ‘Choly’s head as a smile tugged at each of them.

They both readily kissed again. Sticks backed ‘Choly against the kitchen table, who then sat atop it to compensate for being the shorter of the two, and dragged the ghoul back atop him as their tongues frustrated one another. The chemist removed his glasses and lost them behind him, letting out a wheeze when the ghoul let him lick the edges of the gap in the corner of his top lip.

“Perhaps my prior assessment of the relationship between the two of you was mistaken.” They both jumped, finding Angel’s ocular lenses inches from both their face. Angel’s lenses flickered before it withdrew them. “Forgive my intrusion. I’ll excuse myself.”

“--Angel, wait. Agh.”

‘Choly shot upright with a groan to reach out for the Mister Handy, who returned outside. His hair felt like it had fallen from its french twist, and he compulsively smoothed at it. Then he turned to find Sticks had walked into the living area, to help himself to the dry bar cabinet Angel had added all ‘Choly’s spirits into. After one shot of whiskey, the ghoul took a second with him to sit on the couch.

“If you’re in the market for some fantasy fulfillment, you might as well return the favor.”

Sticks set down his glass on the coffee table, to dig through the bag he’d set down there. He pulled out the lingerie catalogue and waved it knowingly at him. ‘Choly shakily put his glasses back on and a hand crept over his mouth in knit-brow shock of what meaning or purpose laying eyes on the thing again could have possibly been intended. He sank to kneel beside Sticks, readily accepting some unspoken proposition, and ran a hand over the top of the ghoul’s trouser sock, before slipping it under the hem of his slacks to push up the pant leg and caress his leg. In reflex Sticks jerked his leg out of ‘Choly’s hands, his knee coiled back and away, and he stared at him in bewilderment at length before he couldn’t contain a sharp, difficult laugh.

“Mindy, I think you and I had very different reasons for eyeing the same woman.” The ghoul reached forward to set down the catalogue. He retrieved his whiskey, and downed it, then patted ‘Choly on the head. In a stupor, the chemist pushed himself up off the floor, to sit beside him, hands in his lap wringing together for lack of knowing where else to possibly put them.

“If it’s all the same, maybe... Maybe we could just... Sit together on the couch for a while...” He couldn’t contain anxious pouting.

“...While the beans dry?”

“...While the beans dry.”

“You've got me for the time being...” Sticks put an arm across the back of the couch, around ‘Choly’s shoulder, and stared at the peeling ceiling. “What do you intend to do with that? Did you really think you could just continue where you left off? Nothing is the same as it was before the War. Not even you. You’ve looked in a mirror, right.”

When ‘Choly shrank against his chest, Sticks held him. The ghoul said nothing when he could feel the small man shaking with silent tears, and simply held him more firmly.

“I’ve never experienced a golden age in my life, but my brain keeps telling me that literally anything I had before stepping foot in that fucking vault could be better than life after the war. The world ended! Only the dead and dead-inside carry on.”

The hard resolve overwhelmed ‘Choly then, to break his promise to Angel, and he found himself seriously deliberating the best or easiest way to reclaim the Melancholy’s salts from its storage compartment without conflict. He nearly spoke aloud of it, to get Sticks’s input, but shut his mouth again, both for fear that he’d increased Angel’s ability to eavesdrop on him by upgrading its sensory matrix... and for guilt and self-awareness how it likely would sound to tell his once-roommate that he felt the strong drive to suffocate his emotions with drugs.

Sticks saw the look in ‘Choly’s eyes, and his features slacked before he bent forward to retrieve something from his bag. With a plaintive glance, he offered ‘Choly a thin metal syringe of pale purple fluid.

“Case you didn’t pick up on it by now, Sticks is also on account of the needles attached to most of the junk I have to offer.”

‘Choly snorted in a sudden agonized smile at the awful pun, and held the chem in his lap with his eyes shut tight as he tried to get himself to stop crying. Maybe I could use the Med-X in the Melancholia, instead of begging or sneaking the salts. He looked up when he could tell he was shaking his head at himself, and looked to Sticks, who wore a bated objection on his thin lips. Immediately sensing himself misinterpreted, ‘Choly steadied his leg against the cushion of the couch and held the syringe flush and perpendicular to his thigh, then seethed through his teeth when he depressed the plunger. The needle jutted through the fabric of his pants and his flesh to impart the chemical into his bloodstream.

I need it now more than I’ll need it later.

Sticks patted him on the shoulder and retrieved the empty syringe, then stood to check on the silt beans. ‘Choly set his glasses on the coffee table and let the heavy low overtake him as he laid down across the couch and curled up to stare at nothing.

The next thing that ‘Choly noticed was a loud grinding from the kitchen. He sat up and put his eyes back on to hobble over to investigate. He licked at his dry lips to see the ghoul had begun on the next step of the process: pulverizing the roasted beans into a powder. When ‘Choly sat in the kitchen, Sticks noticed and stopped, to hold up the pitcher of the blender.

“How much of that stuff you think this will make you?”

“I... I don’t know, maybe six. Eight.” ‘Choly rubbed at his forehead a bit. “It definitely smells right in here.”

“I take it we’re spitballing it. What else are you thinking goes into it?”

“...You keep working on beans.” He stood again. “I’ll go get what parts I do remember.”

The chemist vanished upstairs, only to return with a careful armful of various toiletries. Once he had set them all down, the ghoul presented the pitcher in front of him without the lid.

“When Angel went to borrow the blender, it also brought back measuring cups, if that helps.” The ghoul’s face scrunched up in a poorly hidden grimace at identifying what lay spread out on the table. “Exactly how far gone are you right now?”

“About as far as one of these usually carries me.” ‘Choly started squeezing out toothpaste into one of the cups. “Why?”

“Oh, nothing. Go on.”

He sniffed and scrunched his nose to push his glasses back up his nose, then proceeded to add toothpaste, a bottle of mouthwash, and a can of purified water. He fidgeted with the mechanisms of a Stimpak, but rather than waste the healing substance, set it down in agitation when he felt like he’d almost set off the pneumatic plunger. He rubbed at his eyes behind his glasses, then frowned at a fascinated Sticks.

“Your fine motor skills seem better than mine. Can you open up plunger end of all the reservoirs and pour in whole thing? Other one, too.”

“You... ’re putting Stimpak in something you intend to drink.”

“All right, all right. I know how stupid it sounds. I don’t remember what was going through my head, day it struck me to try drinking one. All I remember is, other stuff’s for covering up awful taste. Base is Stimpak.”

“The Stimpak’s awful, but the mouthwash is okay? And the toothpaste?”

‘Choly rolled his eyes in gratitude when Sticks sat down and resigned to the request.

“Touché.”

After another pass on the blender blades, Sticks poured a drinking glass about a third full of the now clearish yellow liquid, and set it before his friend. The ghoul sat with the pitcher and watched expectantly.

“You sure you’re not a vampire or something?”

“Bozhemoy if I’ve blocked out that there’s supposed to be blood in this.” ‘Choly clutched at his chest at the mere idea of it, only to seethe it out in one breath and pick up the glass to smell it. When it didn’t seem unappetizing, he took a sip and let it coat his mouth before swallowing. He licked at the front of his teeth with a sneer, then took another swig. “Yeah, mint and cinnamon don’t cover it up near as well as cherry.”

“Besides the flavor, you think you got it close to the prewar recipe?”

“Besides the flavor.” He melted into a dull stupor, and nursed at the drink, unable to enjoy his success. Distantly, he murmured to himself under his breath in Russian. Now that he knew what was in the MREs, was it really all that bad to eat them? It was just Day Tripper. “If she considers me colonel now, why didn’t she ask me to help her synthesize X-Root?”

“Technically, she didn’t really promote you. She hasn’t updated your designation... things on your coat, whatever they’re called. She just disclosed stuff to you that would’ve been confidential to someone of a rank lower than colonel.” Sticks’s face tightened, and he leaned just the slightest bit nearer with a slight squint. “What was that first part again?”

“I said--” ‘Choly stuttered a breath out of his nose and slouched. He set down the glass a little too hard, and glared at Sticks with a proud hiss. “I said, mne naplevat’ chto vse menya trakhayut.” He flicked the fig at him and slouched to finish off what remained of his initial batch sampling.

The ghoul straightened with a shit-eating grin, and, pointing at him, slowly wagged his finger with a growing chuckle.

“You kissed me with that mouth. Ha! Angel wouldn’t... gladly translate for me, now, would it?”

With a self-inflected glower, the chemist poured himself another third of a glass.

“Fuck off, Jacob.”

Sticks rested his cheek against a propped up fist, and probably couldn’t grin any wider, in stunned delight.

“Shit, I’m just learning so much about you today, Mindy.”

“I don’t know what use it would serve Olivia to register-- me...” He trailed off again in thought, dismissing the sharp nosedive the conversation had taken. His eyes widened, and he slapped the table with one hand. “...In system as colonel! I. I have to get her to upgrade me in system. Have Deenwood recognize me.”

The ghoul sobered to squint again.

“...Why.”

The more he explained himself, the more his face slacked into a vague smile.

“There’s got to be things I could gain access to by having my rank that high. I’d be directly under her. Provided she didn’t lock everything behind an O6 pay grade, I might get information worth having come all this way for. I took trouble to get up here. Thought some kind of DIA breach was risking Deenwood assets falling into raider hands. But, I had everything about it all wrong... Bozhemoy, what if I could get those formulas. I could cook up anything this base has ever made.”

Sticks mirrored ‘Choly’s dumbstruck awe.

“If you didn’t already have my full attention, you certainly do now.”

Go to Next »»»

[dratin-dragonadetinta96]

The war is our present (but I hope peace will be our future) - Chapter 2.

Pairing: MC x Penny Haywood. (more pairings will be added)

Words: 5865.

Chapters: Previous

Summary: 1997 and 1998, a convulsive years in the wizarding world… and for our gang. Follow the gang when they have to face the worst years and most difficult decisions in their lifes. The love, the friendships, the families, the loyalty, the belief…  All will be tested.

Warnings: Metions of characther death.

Notes: Hi, people. You will realise that the narrator are going to change. Basically, all characters will have their own chapters, where they will explain their different points of view.

Basically the wedding will have 4 chapters, since its a very important event in the war (the beginning). Anothers events, like the hogwarts’s battle, will also have chapters with different points of view chapters. Besides, this fanfic will follow the canon.

If anyone wants to ask me about the character and their fate before the war (not after the war) because you are curious, you can! :D Im always happy to speak about this.

And thanks to my two incredibles betas @hey-jacob-its-me and @halfyishere for helping me (and my english that seems a roller coaster) so much. You’re the best! :D <3

SPOILERS: After the last event in the game, I will take “imperiused Ben theory” route.

Rowan

You are sitting outside the tent, away from the happy crowd that still dances, sings and drinks, with a  half-empty  butterbeer in your hand. You take one more sip.  Maybe you should have chosen an alcoholic beverage, but you had never been a fan of those kinds of drinks.

Your crush on Bill was known by all your friends (except Bill, luckily). All, who cheered you up while you got over your crush. Nevertheless, it still hurt you in spite of the knowledge that you had never stood a chance, save for being his friend.

It's not as if  you ever tried anything, you just gave up without a struggle. And now, that anything between the two of you is impossible, you regret not acting.

You can not stop wondering what would have happened if you had done something to show him your interest. Would you have changed the present? Or would destiny be imperturbable, regardless of your efforts to make the difference?

You feel torn between talking with someone about your feelings or staying here alone, lost in your thoughts. You do not want to spoil the party to anyone else.

You hear steps approaching you.

"Is this seat taken?" You gaze away from your bottle. The intruder is Tulip, who carries a tray full with bottles and two glasses.

"It isn't." You move away a bit to let her sit. She sits down carefully to avoid spilling the open bottles on the ground.

"Where did you get these?" Despite not being completely sure that you want to have company yet, your curiosity is bigger than your doubts.

"I borrowed them from the kitchen. There are a lot of bottles that are going to be served to us by the waiters there, so it isn’t stealing, if that's what you are thinking." she defends before you even accuse her.

"Besides, I doubt Bill will care if I take a couple of bottles."

You nod. It does not surprise you that Tulip had simply taken alcohol directly from the kitchen, rather than having to find a waiter to serve her.

"How are all our friends?" You ask her. A crude attempt to avoid the inevitable questions about your mood.

"Our three lovely couples are dancing and the rest is singing and drinking, particularly the latter. I even got to record Charlie while he was singing a Christmas carol right before he fell on his ass... Guess what will be your Christmas gift?. The muggle camera that you gave me, really, is a delight.”  She says, referring to the device that, thanks to Penny and Ben, you had given to her on her last birthday, something, you have all come to regret one year later.

"Didn't Bill ask you to record his wedding?"

"I can do several things at same time as long as one of them is a joke, but let's not talk about the rest, let's talk about you. How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Sure, I’m fine too, Am not I?" Sarcasm drips from her mouth. "You're so perfectly fine that you've decided to sit here , while all your friends are having fun. Please, insert a more convincing lie."

"Well, you're right, I'm not at my best moment; but Tulip, seriously, I don't want to talk about it right now."

"That is fine by me, we don't have to talk, just drink." You open your mouth to refuse. On any other day, you would have welcomed one of her attempts to find you an alcoholic beverage for you to love, but today, you do not even want to try. Seeing your intention, she raises her hand to let her continue her words. "I know you aren't here for one of my experiments, but give me a chance. I know you'll like it."

She takes the two glasses, leaving them in front of you. She seems dedicated to her new creation, mixing the contents of each of the  bottles until she obtains a beautiful blue liquid. After mixing it one last time, she casts a freezing spell to cool the drinks.

"Take it, Rowan." She gives you one of the cups. You take it in your hands, still not being sure if you are ready to drink it, but you notice that Tulip has something else to say. "And I swear, if you don't want to drink it, I also brought butterbeers that you can drink. I won't think any less of you because of this.”

You rotate the glass, watching the reflection of the light in the liquid, and finally you decide it. The alcohol gives you an escape. Despite knowing about the depressant effect of alcohol, at least, you will stop thinking about Bill while you are talking to your friend.

You take one sip first. It does not matter how good Tulip's intentions are, you have taken enough of her experiments to know what could happen.

Surprisingly, you love it. It is sweet and soft, the opposite of Tulip's other attempts.

"It's good, really good." You say without being able to hide the delight in your voice.

"At some point, I had to learn that not everyone loves my taste." You drink another sip, savoring the drink more calmly to assure yourself that it is really good. "I thought you would prefer something that is softer than what I normally mix. Who would’ve guessed that being a bartender for six months would serve a purpose? "

"I'm surprised you’d drink something so sweet, it doesn't seem like your kind of drink."

"I'm not taking the same drink that you have." Tulip tell you since you look at her suspiciously, distrusting her. You had observed her while she was mixing the same bottles in both glasses. Even if the proportions were slightly different, they could not be two different drinks. "Taste it if you don't believe it." She offers you a sip from her drink.

You take a sip of her cup, quickly returning the glass and spitting the disgusting liquid. While you could still taste the sweet taste, it had been masked savagely by the bitterness of another substance.

"I told you. That's what you get for distrusting me."

"It’s impossible that they are the same drinks with different proportions."

"Believe it, although It's possible that I added one or two things while you weren't looking." She winks at you, taking another sip. You can not even look at the glass without remembering the sour taste in your mouth. You push her with your shoulder, an improvised revenge.

"After this funny lapsus, where Miss Khanna learned  to trust my words more, it's time for a toast." Tulip raises her gleaming glass to the light of the tent. "For us, single women, and our freedom."

You lift your glass, repeating her words and taking another sip.

Time passes fast due to your small talk. Tulip seems interested in your travels, learning more about the magical history of different civilizations. Although, rather than your discoveries, she is attracted to the diverse and rich environments you visited during your travels. You would not be surprised if someday you tried to contact Tulip just to discover that she is in the depths of the Amazon or the Sahara desert.

The amount of alcohol you ingested was increased slowly with every passing minute. Your glass is continually filled by a diligent Tulip. You do not know if it is the alcohol or yourself, but you feel like you have enough courage to talk about Bill.

"Do you want to know something, Tulip? I don't know why I feel this way, despite time, I think about it from every angle. In a few weeks, I am going to travel to Asia and I won't see any of you, including him, for months. I knew nothing was going to happen, except a deep friendship, and that I should forget about my school-girl crush without future, however, it still hurts.”

"Because your opinion doesn't matter. You can think what you want, but your heart will do what it wants. Look at me. Let's be honest, I never thought I had a chance with Tonks while we were in the school. She never showed interest, but my heart didn't agree and seeing MC and Penny gave me hope. If MC, being the disaster that she is sometimes, got the girl. Why wouldn’t I? You already know the rest of the story. She rejected me, the whole school knew about that. Yet, you could see my behaviour before. Despite being convinced that nothing will ever happen and we can just be friends, it hurt me when I saw her with Lupin today." She takes another sip before continuing. "My heart is like my parents. They don't care about what I think, and will keep trying to ruin my life. Ah, Rowan, I didn't thank you before when you helped me while I felt like shit during the meeting with Tonks and Lupin.”

You tremble listening to the harsh words about her parents, the resentment was evident in each syllable. You know that Tulip and her parents have never agreed on Tulip’s life. Nothing, except a position in the Ministry of Magic, would have been good enough for them. You (and all your friends) believed they had reached an understanding, or at least Tulip had insinuated at some point, but the relationship must be so much more deteriorated than she made you believe. Only alcohol had loosed her tongue enough, for her true feelings to escape this way.

Tulip does not trust people easily and it makes it even more difficult for her to open up about her situation. Maybe you should consider talking to Tonks and MC about this, because, despite being in the same circle of friends, you and Tulip have never shared many moments. Maybe this was the first of a series of moments leading to a closer friendship. The way heartbreak and pain brought people closer is curious.

"You don't have to thank me, Tulip. We're friends, this is what friends do. Look at you, you're helping me now despite knowing you could be inside having fun.”

She keeps quiet, reflecting about your words until she realizes that taking care of your friends is normal. "Yes, this is what friends do."

"Another toast." You raise your glass again. The moon looks blue through the glass. "For us, who are single, but still have friendship ..."

"... that is better than any dildo." Tulip says, voice solemn a profound, unlike her usual voice. You can't help spitting the drink amidst the laugh that suddenly possessed you. It wasn't a particularly funny phrase, but alcohol always made you laugh.

"I was trying to make a serious toast."

"It was too solemn, this isn't a funeral. You looked like MC when she is talking about the power of friendship and love, who is going to save the world this way? I will answer you. Nobody"

"Our friendship solved the mystery of the cursed vaults, as all of us did something. So there have already been people that saved the day with ‘the power of friendship and love’" You defend your best friend. For once that MC had made a positive speech, you are not going to let Tulip drown out her words.

"Once. That won't happen again. ‘The power of love and friendship’ couldn't save anything, and less in these days. Nobody. Not the order of the phoenix, not the ministry of Magic, not even the boy who lived could win the war with that. We can only win if we fight.."

"I am not sure about that."

"If you are so sure, you wouldn't mind a little bet. 20 galleons. Well, will you?"

"I don't know how you think you're going to win it. Literally we can't know if someone will win that way in the distant future."

"Write in your will: I leave 20 galleons to Tulip as she is always right. I will settle for that." She shrugs, not noticing the numerous holes that her plan had.

"You could die sooner."

"There surely are bars in the afterlife. You will invite me. " You do not know how you should react to this strange conversation about deaths and bets. Talking to Tulip always ends in a strange bet any way.

"So… It is a ‘yes’?"

"Your bet doesn't have any basis. The possibility that you win is minuscule. Even if there is a afterlife, I will win the bet by mere statistics at some point. I can't understand why you would want to bet, when you know that you are more likely to lose."

"Because these are turbulent times. How long until the war escalates? Each day, the situation gets worse in the wizarding world. So if I lose, I will still win something. Because, let's be honest, I can't imagine You-Know-Who winning thanks to the power of love, happiness and bright rainbows. "

The conversation turned alarmingly strange, but now you know that Tulip cared deeply about the situation of the wizarding world. You regret thinking that Tulip was insensitive without interest in the imminent danger that waits in the shadows. You should have learned the lesson after the bust your  “evil Ben” theory caused (“Imperiused Ben” is not the same as “evil Ben”, you understand it now), but you continue to repeat the same mistake again and again. One of your flaws has always been to classify people too quickly, hurting them in the process.

"Okay. I agree."

"Perfect." You shake hands to seal the deal. "This money will become a good party night.."

"... Or two books for my collection."

She open her mouth, to continue possibly the diatribe, but you do not hear anything of what she says, your attention focuses in the silver light that illuminated the tent. You recognize it. A patronus.

A powerful voice resonates.

“The ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming.”

You rise quickly, dropping several bottles accidentally. The hem of your dress gets wet because of the spilled liquid, but you do not care. Your friends, your goddaughter,... They are still inside.

You take a step, ready to enter, but you are stopped by Tulip.

"We need to get the hell out of here, Rowan!"

"But our friends..."

"What do you think they are going to do? They should have left as soon as they have heard the voice.”

You give the tent a last glance and nod. She had to be right. Everyone must have already disappeared and hidden in their homes, especially your best friend and Penny, who would never endanger their daughter. Tulip squeezes your arm and when you sense the characteristic feeling of the apparition, and  let it transport you without resistance.

You end up in Tulip’s house or, at least, you think that is her house, because you have never been invited into her house in spite of all your years of friendship. Actually, It is more a room, rather than a house.

It is a room with a small kitchen, a bed, a sofa and a table, connected to another room that you imagine is the bathroom. You are surprised that she had not asked permission from the Ministry of Magic to use the extension charm on her house. Although the piles of boxes scattered around the room suggested that Tulip had moved to this place recently.

"You should drop the glass." Tulip comments, while she is rooting around in her boxes. "You could break it without realising it and cut yourself.”

You look at your hand where, indeed, your glass is still. The situation is unreal. Five minutes ago, you were sitting quietly drinking with your friend, ignorant of the danger that you are in now. And look at you now.

You lay it on the table, just seeing it makes you want to vomit, and this is not related to the alcohol that you consumed.

"We have to look for our friends." Every second that you spend, you are more anxious about the fate of your friends. You are sure that everyone is safe, a few Death Eaters could not overcome your friends, but you can not be calm until you see them face-to-face safe and sound.

"I know." She continue searching something, without looking at you.

"Tulip, we have to find them. Now.”

"I understood you the first time."

"So... why do you keep rooting around in your things? We're in a hurry, Tulip, we need to know if they're alive or ..." You shut up, you can not even pronounce that word. "They could be injured."

She turns her heads and looks at you for the first time since you are in her house, her eyes without a stroke of the camaraderie you shared a few minutes ago.

"And are you going to wear that? Those clothes? A  homicidal maniac has just risen to power in this fucking country, and are you going to fight in an evening dress?" Pointing to your Indian dress, which was many things, but functional for a duel was not one of them. "I'm glad that you can run and jump wearing a long dress, but the rest of us can't, so let me find comfortable clothes."

You do not answer anything, you just sit in the rickety couch and wait, being a ball of anxiety.

A minute later, Tulip gives you a shirt, trousers and trainers.

"Take it, you can change clothes in the bathroom." Her words are sharp, but she gives you the clothes gently. Although she does not show it, Tulip is as scared as you.

You get into the bathroom, closing the door. You wipe your face, letting the water erase part of the makeup, and you let your hair out, dropping the beads and jewels in Tulip's sink. After the last turn of events, they have little importance.

You begin to recite the names of all the goblins who were involved in the rebellion of 1612 in alphabetical order. Arotg The Vicious, Atnuk, Bertrock Six-Fingers, Clutrus ...

The list is long, but you could feel how your nerves are calmed with each recited name until your anxiety disappears after you whisper the last word. The little trick of reciting lists of historical events had always given you good results to calm you, and it is a relief to know that it is still effective even in the darkest moments.

You are still scared (and alcohol is not doing you any favors). No list is going to eliminate that, but the nerves, that had not let you think straight, had vanished like smoke.

You change quickly and you look at yourself in the mirror. Tulip was right about the outfit. The “mirror” Rowan seems much more determined and ready to search and fight for her friends than the “wedding Rowan”.

Now, you are ready.

You come out of the bathroom. Tulip is already waiting for you, with a pile of objects that has been stacked on the table.

"I'm already here," you say, leaving your dress carefully on top of Tulip sofa. No matter how dangerous the war is, your grandmother would kill you if you mistreated the expensive dress she had given you this same year.

The remembrance of your grandmother makes you be grateful that all your family is in India visiting some relatives. If the situation gets worse, they can stay there and avoid the war.

"Perfect, now we only need the final details." She give you a series of protecting amulets and a body armor.

"What is this stuff?"

"They will protect us, I bought them in the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Charlie introduced me to his twin brothers because they needed help with some joke items, so now I have a good discount in their store. They aren't infallible, but they can save us from some spells."

You put them on, while you talk about your next steps. You should go to the houses of your friends. First to the Haywood’s house, the most likely of all, and then to Barnaby's. There were no more places to hide when they had so little time, although you would also look for them in their parents' house. However, you doubt they would have gone to their parents house. Either because of the fear that they were also attacked or a their bad family relationship.

After you planned the route, you disappear from the Tulip’s tiny home.

You land in an alley, near the Haywood’s house, a two-storey house completely protected by spells. Although those protections won't be able to do too much due to the new power of the He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. They will break down the house’s defenses as easily as the Burrow’s.

The lights are off, but they may be hiding there, the absence of light being a way to avoid attracting unwanted attention.

"Tulip, hide your wand." You whisper even though the muggle street where the couple lived is apparently deserted. You could never know when someone is observing you.

"I doubt the Death Eaters will care too much about the secret. And knowing what is coming, it would be better if the Muggles knew the truth or they wouldn't be able to defend themselves in any way."

"But the decision of breaking the secret isn't ours. For now, the best thing is to say nothing. "

You ring the doorbell twice, but nobody opens the door. You wait in the small porch a few more minutes; with more hits to the door, more shouting and more bell ringing.

Nothing.

Desperate, you take your wand out of your pocket, ready to break the door down. You have to enter the house and see that no one is there for yourself. This is the most logical destination. They should be here. With every passing second, the thoughts about horrible possibilities that are in a corner of your mind grow.

"Rowan! Rowan! Stop!." Tulip hugs you, pushing you away from the door to avoid you making more noise. "The muggles could hear us and could see your wand."

"No. Didn't you say that muggles should know it? well, I'm helping them to discover it now.”  You struggle against her grip, but it is useless. She is much stronger than you. “Tulip, release me, please, we can't lose time.  We have to enter quickly to ensure that nobody is inside and the magic is the fastest way.”

"No, not until you calm down, Rowan. If they were here, we would know. Do you think they would just let us walk in? Never. And you know it. I need the Rowan who thinks about all variables, all possibilities. Not someone who is so deranged that could expose ourselves to muggles or Death Eaters. You have to take it easy, not for us, but for the rest. Acting in this way will only get us killed.”

You breathe deeply, trying to calm down. You thought that you would do better than this thanks to the list, but maybe even that could not do anything against the terror of not finding the people you care deeply about. It does not matter if it is the alcohol or your own insecurity. You have to become the logical Rowan, the one who could think in any situation without problems.

Tulip free you, as you. You grimace when you stretch your arms. Really Tulip is too strong.

"I'm sorry." She apologizes when she notes your face.

"No, it isn't your fault, you had to stop me before I screwed thing up.” I pat her back, a possibly forced attempt at camaraderie. Bonding with other people isn't your specialty.

After this awkward moment, you continue speaking “We have to go to Barnaby's house, it’s our only option. They might have decide to go there, because, even though Haywood’s house has more protections, Barnaby is the son of Death Eaters. They would never attack his house. "

Without a second thought, You apparate in front of the apartment block where Barnaby (and Ben) live.

You ring the bell several times and, and just like before, nobody answers. Tulip continues ringing the bell without response.

"It's impossible, they should be here. They can't be anywhere else” She mumbles.

You look up, observing a light in one of the windows of the building. You count the floors.

One

Two.

Three.

It is on the third floor, the same floor where Barnaby lives. It has to be them.

"Tulip, look up." You interrupt the litany of insults to the Death Eaters, to the doors, to the bells and, basically, everything that Tulip was murmuring. "It has to be his home. Nobody else would be awake at this time in this area."

"Then why don't they open the door? They should know that we are looking for them. If not answering has been Barnaby's idea, I can assure you that he will be joke target for the rest of the next year.”

"It's normal that they don’t trust who is ringing the bell. It isn't like they're expecting a visit, they could think we are hidden like them, not looking for them. And you know that Muggle children like to make jokes with the doorbells. We could be Muggles or worse.” Although the idea of a Death Eater knocking the door politely is surreal. Good manners are not the speciality of those brutes. A Death Eater would simply destroy the door and kill anyone who is in their way.

Tulip looks both ways to ensure that nobody is watching. Before this, she takes her wand out and whispers a fast ‘Alohomora’, opening the door with a snap.

You climb the stairs quickly. You can not wait for the elevator enough. Also, you hate that hellish Muggle machinery that causes you claustrophobic.

You can barely breathe when you reach the third floor. Physical exercise has never been your forte. You take a trembling step toward the door, but stop when you note that Tulip is aiming at the door with her wand.

You focus on the door in front of you. It is ajar.

You bite your lower lip, worried, and you take your wand out. It is impossible that the Death Eater have arrived before you. If they were going to break into someone's house this night, it would be the allies of Professor Dumbledore’s house; not a son of Death Eaters and friend of muggleborns’ house. It makes no sense. None of your friends, except Tonks and the Weasleys brothers, were related to the order. And you doubt that those friends are here, they must be fighting against Death Eater.

Tulip opens the door slowly, avoiding making noise. When she sees that it is all clear, she makes a sign for you following her.

You check the rooms one by one, your desperation is increasing with each empty room.

The wheels in your mind work at full speed, but you can not understand it yet. The door was open and the light was on, but everything is perfect, without signs of a struggle, and none of your friends are in sight.

What had happened exactly? You knew that Barnaby could be clueless, but Ben always locks the doors religiously, he would have never forget to close it. And the idea that a Death Eaters had come and your friends had given up without a fight is also absurd.

Suddenly, a slight moan can be heard. You stop and listen it, being hopeful, but still staying alert.

There is someone else in that house, in one of the rooms that you had not checked yet.

Friend or enemy? You do not know it yet, but soon you will discover it.

You follow the noise until you arrive to the guest room (or Ben’s room at this point). Tulip and you stand on the walls next to the door,  ready to attack with a spell. Tulip looks at you and you nod, ready to enter. Tulip opens the door so brutally that the door bang on the wall with a loud crash (and possibly leaving a mark) and you turn on the light.

In one corner of the room, somebody was sitting on the floor with his head hidden between his arms.

Ben.

"Ben?" He does not seem to react to your words. You lower your wand immediately, running across the room and ducking in front of him.

Ben is hyperventilating. Despite this, he still seems to whisper something. His skin, that is even paler than usual, is covered by a thin film of sweat.

"Ben, please, answer me."

Ben continues without answering you, hiding in himself even more if it was possible. You bring your ear to him, trying to hear the words he whispers.

"It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault.” He repeats this in quick succession.

"Tulip, come here. I think something's wrong with Ben." You shout, hoping that Tulip had finished checking the rest of the rooms to know if there was someone else in the house. "He doesn't respond."

You had previously seen various of Ben’s attacks, but you have never see one that was so strong. And unfortunately no one that knows how to really calm Ben is here.

You will think about the reason of his behaviour later. Could one of your friends be ...? No. You can not fall apart when Ben is so bad. You refused to think about this.

But you know that if Ben is here, the rest should have been too.

Tulip approaches you and takes the opportunity to ask him again, gentle "Ben, what happened?”

For the first time he seems to react, opening and closing his hands, but repeating the same words.

"It's my fault."

"It's my fault."

"Ben, what's your fault?" You take his hand, hoping that it will help his focus. For a moment he stops his litany, taking a quick air puff due to his lack of air. "Please, come on. Answer me."

"Th... The-They" Every word is hard to pronounce, tearing them off the depth of his throat where the words are hidden as if they did not want to go outside and get real. “T-The..."

"They?" What do they do? You need more answers, but in his state you are concerned about rising his stress. You had never had to help Ben in one of his attacks, since there had always been someone who he trusted more than you. And now you deeply regret not having paid more attention when he was helped.

He lifts his head slightly. His cheeks are red. His eyes, bathed in tears. His gaze, unfocused, as if he really were not there, but in a place that is too far away for you to reach him.

"D-De... De-Dead. They're dead." His breathing accelerates again. "They’re dead. And it's my fault. I was too slow. I’d have been faster, faster. I was afraid. I hesitated. And now they’re dead and it's my fault. How can I look at everyone after this? It's my fault. My fault.”

"Ben, who's dead?" Tulip can not bear it any longer and shakes Ben. At any other time you would have stopped Tulip. You would have told her that it would only make the situation worse. But you are paralyzed, still thinking about the meaning of Ben's words. "Ben, answer me. Who are dead?" Tulip's voice broke into a sob.

MC.

Penny.

Leti.

Bill.

Barnaby.

Charlie.

Tonks.

You do not know where any of them are.

If they were injured, imprisoned or ...

If they were dead.

"It's my fault. It's my fault."

"Damn it, Ben! Answer me! Who-are-dead?” Tulip yells at the terrified Ben, pulling him and lifting him a few inches off the ground.

"He found her. She’d been separated from her mothers by the patronus. We were going to disappear, before they found us. I was scared. I hesitated. He said he’d appear with her after me. I had to wait here. But they never showed up. I waited. And I waited. But no matter how long I wait, they don't appear! They don't appear and it's my fault! It's my fault!” Ben seems more and more altered. A “he” and a “she”? Your suspicion grow with every passing second. But you refuse to believe it. They could not be...

"BEN! WHO?"

"BARNABY AND LETI! THEY ARE DEAD AND IT’S MY FAULT! "

Tulip releases Ben, backing up a few steps. Ben falls with a thud, returning to his previous position and litany.

You do not really pay attention to what happens around you. You collapse on the cold floor of the room.

Your goddaughter ...

You think about your goddaughter, the little shy girl with bright smile and ruddy cheeks. The little girl who was the niece of all your friends, even though you do not have a blood relationship. The little girl who you had promised to protect and who you had failed.

You know that Barnaby would have never surrendered without fight to protect her. You want to see some way out, a possible alternative that takes you out of this horrible reality. You are not capable.

You listen a fist bump against a wall. Tulip?

You do not even want to think that Tulip and you had escaped when the rest had stayed there to die. Because if Leti ... If Leti is dead, you do not doubt that your best friend will be dead too, with her being as she is, fiercely protective of her family. You had been with her during the search for her brother, you do not want to know what happens if she loses her daughter. Although you could intuit it in your heart. She would not stop. She would not stop until she takes revenge on who had taken her child from her. And people who do not hesitate to kill children, do not hesitate to kill the rest.

And Penny, you had seen what happened when she remembered the pain of losing someone, the fear of losing her daughter. What would she do if this became reality?

Neither of them was going to fight thinking about how they can survive. Not at that moment. They would only want to fight against those who had destroyed the little light in their lives.

And Tulip and you had escaped easily, thinking everyone could have done the same thing and there had not been problems. That all of you would be safe.

You hadn't thought that the patronus with the form of an animal could attract the attention of a child who adored the animals and how it would have make her run away from their mothers, collapsing all after that.

How could you look at those who had been left behind, in this life or in the afterlife? How could you explain that while you were reciting a list of names, your goddaughter… your friends were murdered?

For the first time in your life, you don't have a plan. There isn't a next step. There is nothing.

For the first time, you don't know what to do.

.

.

.

Well, I hope you like it, the next chapter will be the Barnaby’s point of view and what happened when the Death Eater appeared.

Tag: @theuniverseisalilbastard @returntoinocense (If anyone want to know when the next chapter is updated, say me and I will tag you.

Chao :)