#//--- that they ran into at some point of their life on instagram that are honestly kind of scammy and they would never play'

[r3dblccd]

A reminder that this very much gives me Yongsun vibes

[blkkizzat]

ꨄ︎『Toji x TumblrSmutWriter!Reader』ꨄ︎

Toji x TumblrSmutWriter!Reader

18+ Minors - DNI

Summary: You shouldn't have left your phone out in the open bestie because now Toji just discovered his cute lil gf has a big slutty imagination and that means you're really in for it ❤︎ . CW: daddy/dilf kinks, humiliation, backshots, outdoor sex, toys, voyerism, breeding, overstimulation, lots of mentions of various kinks, light spanking, light spit play, meta concepts WK: 4.2k Black fem reader coded but no descriptors.

A/N: Y’all can blame my forgetting to take my adhd meds and my hangover yesterday for this one. I was laying on my bathroom floor regretting life choices, waiting on McDs Doordash and thinking up outlines for kinktober when this popped into my head. I thought it would be a quick drabble like 1k words to help my writers block with the "Bumpy Ride" Geto fic but lord knows I can't write shit under 3k, who am I foolin? I don’t even have a song inspo for how spontaneous and random this shit was lmfao but I still had to do a graphic for this one regardless (editing those notifications were hell). Edit- I lied the song inspo is: Girls Need Love Remix - Summer Walker ft. Drake.

Enjoy!

Imagine you are dating Toji and he finds out you secretly write Tumblr smut fics on the low. 

He comes over to your apartment one night after one of his ‘jobs’ ran late. He has a key, but is wondering where the hell you are as you usually greet him at the door. Going into your bedroom, he finally hears you in adjoining bathroom shower. 

Toji begins to strip down in order to join you but he barely has his shirt off before he notices your phone blowing up. 

Picking your phone up off the bed he sees 206 notifications from an app called “Tumblr”. 

Toji has no fucking clue what the hell a Tumblr is but his jealously starts to soar. He already made your ass go private on Instagram and deleted your Tiktok dances. He got tired of threatening every loser who tried to slide in your DMs or even leave a comment for that matter. 

Imagine his surprise when he unlocks your phone (of course he had made you give him the password) and instead he finds out his new vanilla-as-fuck girlfriend is actually a kinky cockwhore who loves writing character x reader stories about fictional men plugging any n' every one of her holes. Sometimes it was multiple men simultaneously, with their massive cocks bullying your readers until you had them crying. Not to mention them fucking you absolutely stupid in every scenario imaginable, with a huge daddy kink/love of dilfs to top it all off. 

Y/N clearly has type, Toji thought smugly as he saw some art on your page of these animated dilfs that looked similar to him.

But goddamn, some of this shit even he hasn’t considered doing with you yet. Honestly, he’s been holding himself back for your sake as you had been pretty shy at first. His sweet naive little college girl, yet here you were a filthy closeted slut this entire time. 

Tsk, Y/N been holding out on me, eh?

At this point you were probably a bigger freak than he was, he mused with an arched brow as he scrolled through what you called your ‘masterlist’.

It was nothing but a collection of pure unadulterated filth. 

More than anything though while going through your Tumblr, Toji is rather impressed at how popular you are. He reads your intro post where you deem yourself the ‘Self-proclaimed DILF Smut Queen’ and an evil grin appears on his face.

Toji abandons his plans to join you in the shower and he waits for you on your bed while he links-surfs through more of your so-called fics, drabbles and thirsts.

You made your own little pictures to go along with your dirty stories too? Aw, what a sneaky yet talented little whore he had. 

ꨄ

When you finally exit the shower, wrapped only in a big fluffy white towel and your hair pulled back into a ponytail, you are surprised to see Toji sitting shirtless on your bed. 

Toji had promised to be here hours ago. He never even sent a text saying he would be late and you’ve been bored waiting for him all evening so he could give you some of the attention you've been craving. 

Your body is already warm from the shower and your legs rub together as you are already feeling a bit horny just seeing him bare chested.

Walking toward the bed you are eager to go pounce on his lap. That is, until you see it’s your phone he’s scrolling through again without your permission.

You loudly sigh which made his head snap up to look at you.

You’re so ready to tell him off again and remind him your Insta is still private and you only use TikTok to mindlessly scroll, not post dance videos anymore when gives you a dangerous look.

You stop dead in your tracks.

Your eyes grow wide as saucers as you recognize what he’s actually looking at when waves your phone around tauntingly in his hands. 

No.No.No. Not this. Please god, not this!

But your worst fears are confirmed when he starts reading aloud with a huge shit eating grin. 

“You moaned loudly as you threw your head back and bucked against him hungrily. You knew you had to finish quickly unless you wanted his wife to come home to discover the babysitter on top of her husband, making a mess all over his face. His thick tongue lapped into your drenched folds and he spread your puffy pussy lips wider to suck and nip at your swollen clit….” 

Your mouth was agape in shock. You were a deer in headlights.

A million and one thoughts raced through your mind as Toji continued on. He swiped over to the next one, this time a daddy and breeding kink drabble.

“Or how ‘bout… ‘Take it all like the good little slut you are for daddy, Y/N’. ‘N-No daddy, please I can’t cum anymore!’ You babbled as you succumbed to the overstimulation of him ruthlessly breeding your stretched cunt and filling you as you squirted on his dick for the fifth time that night…” 

You could only continue to stand there and gawk at him. This couldn’t actually be happening to you right now.

“Ya really wrote all this nasty shit, Y/N?” Toji teased while still looking at your phone as he found more of your filthy smut to read aloud to you despite the horrified expression on your face.

You of course had written all that ‘nasty shit’ but most of it was before you started dating him, breaking a long dry spell.

You really weren’t one to run the streets and sleep around but you had some kinky ass fantasies and you not getting any action had you needing to express them somehow.

It’s not like you didn’t eventually plan to open up and share a few of your kinks with Toji down the line. But this was a relatively new relationship and Toji was still a bit intimidating to you. Even though Toji treated you with way more care and concern than he did anyone else you’ve seen him interact with, you still had an insecure fear that he would reject you for a few of your kinks. 

Your last boyfriend had called you a weirdo for wanting to call him daddy in bed, so you resolved then to no longer share that part of you.

Hell, not even your IRL friends knew what you got up to. Only the Tumblr followers and moots, who you all shared peaceful anonymity with, were familiar with you and your writing.

Fuck. You had finally found the perfect DILF daddy too, you didn't want to scare him away. 

You cursed yourself for even opening Tumblr earlier. You did so out of restlessness waiting on his ass to come over. You just were going to read a few fics before you realized you had a story in your drafts you never posted that just needed to be proofread.

Wanting to kill time you decided to edit and post it on a whim, not knowing the mess it would be getting you into now. 

“Earth to, Y/N.” Toji snapped his fingers, interrupting your thoughts.

"Where did my perverted baby’s little mind go off to now, huh? So obsessed with being ruined by imaginary cocks you can’t even respond to your own daddy.”

You could have combusted on the spot as you were sure there was more steam coming off you from embarrassment than from the hot shower you had just taken. 

But wait– wtf, your frazzled mind just connected the fact Toji had referred to himself as your daddy. 

Those words sinking in made your entire body tingle. Your pulse quickened as you chewed your bottom lip and fidgeted with the edge of your towel.

Was he also into this?

The fact was Toji was very into this and you were about to find out just how much he was.

Enjoying your reactions fully, Toji stood up and made his way toward you with a crazed look on his face.

“You’ve written 96 pieces of filth Y/N…”

He inched closer and you instinctively moved back. Every fiber of your body sensing the danger in front of you. You wondered if this is how the targets of his ‘jobs’ felt when he approached them. Toji never lied to you about what he did for work but you never felt like you were his prey, until now.

“You’ve been a very naughty girl, have you nothing to say for y’erself, princess?” 

“I-I-I-”, you stumble over your own words. This was all way too much, way too fast, for you to process in order to say anything coherent back to him.

“I-I-I-” Toji mocked your pathetic tone, an evil grin back on his face. 

“Lost your words, Y/N?”

Your body instinctively keeps moving back to keep distance between the two of you as he continues to advance on you.

“But you have so many words to say here, isn’t that right slut?”

Toji toyed with your phone in his hand, spinning it around.

“Slut. That’s what you liked to be called in these stories, eh? The dirty slutty whore with a sloppy cunt just ready to slime all over her daddy’s cock, yeah?”

You gulped as your back hit the glass of your bedroom balcony door with a ‘thud’. You had no more room to run while Toji closes in on you.

He pressed both of his massive hands against the glass as they framed your head, his body hovering over you. You couldn’t help but notice how much bigger than you he was as his frame enveloped you and blocked out the rest of the room. You were trapped.

Too nervous to look him in the eyes, you settled for his chest and Toji’s muscles flexed tantalizingly under your gaze. You lost yourself for a moment as the familiar scent of his heady masculine musk invaded your senses.

Your eyes roamed lower and lower before resting on the bulge beneath his sweats and you softly pant. 

“You’re staring at my dick like you want me to stuff that pretty little throat cunny of yours full. You aren’t making good use of your mouth right now anyway Y/N, might as well see how much of me it can fit.”

You looked away from him completely but that only ignites Toji's flames more.

“Look me in the eyes little girl...” Toji’s hand roughly grabbed your jaw and squished your cheeks together as he brought his face closer to yours.

“This shy act won’t cut it anymore, slut.”

His intensity was overwhelming you. Various emotions threaten to bubble to the surface as you squirm in his grasp and your eyes become glossy with tears.

“You didn’t think you finally had a man who would be into this wild ass shit, now did you?”

You wanted to question him further but you felt your gravity shift as the balcony door whipped open behind you. Toji ripped off the towel covering you as you practically tumbled backwards onto the small landing buttass naked.

The crisp fall night air hits your dampened skin giving you goosebumps. You shiver and immediately drop down in a crouch to cover yourself. 

“T-Toji!! Are you insane?!” You gasped at him in a hushed tone, your silence finally broken. 

Promptly, you scan the seemingly deserted neighborhood streets through the railing for any sign of movement or signal that someone else was outside.

To your relief there was no one in sight.

Thankfully this was a relatively quiet neighborhood and no one was ever really out at this time of night. Nevertheless the shock of it all was sending your nerves into overdrive.

“Toji my ass bitch. It’s daddy to you moving forward–,” he roared jerking you up off the ground, “–and we are going to do every single fucking thing your slutty mind has ever fucking written starting NOW.” 

Your eyes darted as around him if you wanted to run back inside but there was no getting past his brutish build as he quickly slammed the door shut, shaking the frame.

Frankly, you didn’t know whether to be thrilled or terrified as you had written some depraved ass shit over the past year in the midst of your cockdrought. Some of it you had never even seriously thought of actually doing IRL. 

“Let’s start right ‘ere, eh? Did you think I wouldn’t notice the description of the place in your little balcony story matched your own?” 

Your eyes almost popped out of your skull as you recalled what you wrote in that particular smut fic.

ꨄ 

“A-AH! N-NOOO TOJI, W-WAIIIIIIIT!” You whined through gritted teeth. 

You tried (and failed) not to release any noises from the unrelenting backshots Toji was currently giving you as he folded you over the balcony railing. The tips of your toes barely rested on the cold floor as your ass bounced back into him and had your clit throbbing when his heavy balls smacked against the sensitive nub.

You had previously only fantasized about Toji being this rough with you, but now that it was actually happening for real you couldn’t think straight. Your lungs burned from sucking in the frosty night air and your cunt pulsed from his thick girth stretching you open. 

Shockwaves ran along your body with every cruel thrust of his hips. The force of it reduced your legs to jelly and you were sure you would have collapsed had he not had you suspended like you were, between him and the railing. 

Toji seemed both unfazed by the cold and your cries for mercy as he shushed you with a harsh spank. He enjoyed the way your fat ass rippled under his heavy hand in the moonlight so much he gave you a few more for good measure.

Your tits violently swayed over the edge as one of your hands grasped the railing for stability and the other held your phone in front of you. Toji was making you dictate your story for him as he reenacted the play by play assault on your cunt.  

The bright screen you held was near blinding to your teary eyes. You mentally cringed as you knew it would act as a shiny beacon to view your activities if anyone walked by the small apartment complex or hell, even stepped out on their balcony. 

“T-Toj- Daddy, w-what ‘bout– neigh-h-b-bor-s?”

You managed to croak out over the sloshing of your cunt and slapping sounds of flesh that echoed into the atmosphere everytime he rammed into you. You couldn’t bear to look around to see if any of your neighbors had started to investigate.

“Pshhh, Fuck your neighbors Y/N! They clearly don’t have a cockcrazed baby to please that writes dirty little stories about imaginary men like I do.”

If you didn’t know better you would think he was actually jealous of the DILFs in your stories too from the way he was sadistically fucking into you. 

His thrusts caused your icy tears to run down your face and sent your tits bouncing into the wind. Your cold and neglected nipples hardened in the chill to the point of delicious pain.

“B-but- it's too c-cold out D-Daddy!”

“Mmn, yet your pussy feels warm enough, Y/N. Too hot even. This is for your benefit, you know–,” Toji stated matter-of-factly while he increases the speed his pounding into you, “–So you remember you have your own Daddy who will fuck you anyway you want, anytime you want…just, fuck, tell Daddy what his slutty baby needs.”

The way his hips are driving into your core knocks the wind out of you. Toji tightens the already brutal grip on your hips which assists him in pressing deeper into your cunt. The movement has you almost slipping. You nearly drop your phone off the balcony when your toes stepped in the growing pool of shared juices flowing down your legs and collecting at your feet.

“Hold that shit tight for daddy baby, got it? You drop it and we gotta start over, yeah? I’ll make you walk downstairs ass naked just like this to get it too,” Toji breathed out huskily. 

You realize you’ve never heard him sound this needy before now.

“What’s next, in y’er lil’ story huh?… Speak up so I can hear it over this messy cunt.” 

There was an edge of desperation for you clear in his tone. Although to your dismay it causes your body to gush around him harder meaning you would have to speak up even louder as your pussy squelches grew more vulgar in volume. 

You nearly shouted out the next part groaning and mixing in incoherent babbles throughout the smut filled paragraph as Toji doesn't slow to help you. If anything Toji picks up speed and grows even harder inside of you as he's encouraged by his baby's filthy words.

“...H-he- lifts your leg, r-resting your knee on the edge of the bal-c-cony. T-T-The angle allows h-him, fuck, deeper access to your c-cunt. Ah-h-h-a clear view of his c-cock badgering your core f’er a-anyone who happens to p-pass belowwww-ohmygod. Y-you seeeeee s-stars as he callously s-slams into your c-cervix, shitshitshit, n-nearly fa-fa-fucking you off the balcony if not for his s-strong hold on youuuu–ah. Y-you violently t-tremble as you c-cum s-screamiiiiing, not fuckdaddyfuckkkk, caring if your n-neighbors could s-see or h-hear you any l-longer.”

“HA! Is that so–” Toji lifts your leg just like you wrote in your fic, “–guess I am gonna to have to keep fucking this tight cunt until you no longer give a fuck about anything else but this dick, eh?”

You hear what sounds like a door slide open near you and you begin to whine about your neighbors again before Toji jerks your head back by your ponytail to whisper in your ear. 

“I wouldn’t worry that nasty, pretty little head of yours about these neighbors babydoll…” 

The new angle allows Toji to bury himself deeper into you just like you told in your story and his tip hits your cervix so hard you think he might actually penetrate. 

“...if I were you Y/N... I would think about how daddy’s needy lil whore is gonna make it through an entire day of classes tomorrow with clamps on your nipples and a remote control vibrator up your cunt.”

He licked the side of your face and spit in your mouth before carelessly pushing your head back. You loudly moaned as his bruising grip returned to your meaty hips as his nonstop aggressive assault on your cunt proceeds.

You feel yourself getting close, your eyes rolled back into your head and drool seeped down the corners of your mouth. You cursed your weakness for this shit as you felt yourself give into the pleasure. You surprise even yourself as you never actually thought this kinda sex could be so fucking good you wouldn’t care about shit else for real. 

“Goddamn mamas, squeezing me so hard–” Toji’s hips snapped into you with every syllable, his voice becoming more animalistic, “–you want me to fill this pussy up? Mmm, I fucking know you do the way she’s milking me. Fuck, might even put a baby in you, give ‘gumi a sibling. We won’t be able to do some of that kinky shit you wrote unless I knock a baby up in this cunt, ya know.”

Of course, Toji being the sexy ass DILF straight out of your dreams would love breeding kinks too.

His ramblings cause you to tighten and clench around him even more. You’ve wanted to beg for him like this since you first started dating. Just thinking of the words spilling out of your mouth nearly pushed you over the edge.

You were so close to release.

“I-Inside me D-Daddy pleasepleaseplease!,” you slobbered out, struggling to make sentences from all the pleasure within you.

“F-fill me– fill me D-Daddy, knock this tight little cunt up, w-want it– want it– w-want it–!!!”

Your voice caught in your throat and you nearly choked once you felt your peak hit. Your pussy sent tremors around his dick as you creamed around him. You can't think of anything else but him inside of you.

You just came but Toji allowed you no rest. He still pummeled inside you as he chased his own high and slurred vulgar curses of praise for his pretty lil’ whore's dirty mind, while planning the next debaucherous smut for you both to reenact.

“Ya think it's too late now f’er prime next day delivery for those toys, baby? Fuck, look that up while y’er still holding that phone.”

You didn’t even realize you still had your phone in your hand but were just thankful you didn’t drop yet. You didn't think it would survive the fall.

Groaning you tried to rally the strength to even lift the phone to face unlock when you locked eyes with someone below. You instantly recognized the person as the elderly woman with the flower garden from down the street.

The old lady had always been very kind to you, making pleasant conversation, offering you fresh flowers for your kitchen and praising you for how reminded her of her own sweet young daughter at your age. 

Unfortunately for you both, she was casually walking her two mini poodles when her eyes were affronted with you practically hanging off the balcony. A blissed out expression plastered across your face while Toji held you, battering your slick pussy full of his thick cock.

The old woman’s eyes widened in terror as if she actually witnessed a crime scene as she panicked, yanking her two dogs away swiftly back in the direction of her home. You knew you would have to take the long way home from now on.

Nevertheless Toji, who was none the wiser and wouldn’t give a single fuck regardless, merely continued planning out your next smut fic enactment.

“Nah fuck it, we’re going to the library tomorrow. See how many pages you can read of that dull ass biology book while y’er warming my cock... Tch, or should we do the one where y’er fucking the coach in the men’s locker room, whacha think baby?”

"Hmmmnmmrgh", you could only moan in reply.

You were already near hyperventilating from your own climax, the shame of now having to avoid your neighbor for life and Toji’s fiery body creating a storm of friction clashing with the freezing temperatures.

But your senses were now wholly overloaded once you felt him reach down to pinch and rub at your clit. 

“Cum again with Daddy baby, shit, can ya do that f’er me?” Toji sounded like he was close and he slapped your clit even harder causing you to scream out.

Cockdrunk and overstimulated you could no longer communicate as your entire body felt like it was an extension of your pussy. The thick fluids flowing out of your body increased the sizable puddle already at your feet. You utterly surrendered to the feeling and your body wrecked with pleasure electrifying you. 

You almost blackout as you feel his cock bust hot seed into your tummy melting your insides and causing you to cum all over again.

"Fuck, that’s it, take it all. Can't wait to see this belly and these tits full mama."

The aftershock of your orgasm feels near endless as Toji continues to fuck thick ropes of his cum into you. 

Losing track of time you weren’t sure how long it was before Toji finally pulled out and took you off the railing. Holding on to you so you can balance and turning you to face him he places you down on your unsteady feet. You immediately bury your head into his chest as his heat envelops your cold skin. Your breathing finally starts to calm in his embrace. 

“So good f’er daddy babygirl,” he murmurs into your hair, savoring your scent.

“Warm bath, yeah?”

“Sure, but you gotta carry me daddy.”

You yawned while Toji’s already lifting you princess style in his strong arms. You were exposed still in the night but at the same time you have never felt safer. 

You curl further into his warmth as he kisses your forehead and finally brings you back inside.

Once inside the bathroom Toji sets you down on the edge of the tub while the water runs and he leaves to grab some fresh towels.

You can’t help but feel euphoric as you smiled to yourself. You are too giddy!

You finally have the DILF daddy you always wanted and could be open about your kinks without any judgment. 

However your mood shifts when Toji returns. You give him an incredulous look as you see your pink waterproof vibrator in his hands. 

Toji turns it on and saunters over to you, his scar twisted into a devilish smirk.

“95 more fuckfics to go ma’, we don’t have time to waste…”

Fucking hell, you had entirely forgotten about the overstimulation in the bath drabble. 

You quiver in both anticipation and distress as you aren’t sure how your completely spent and nearly frozen body is gonna be able to cum four more times tonight. 

Could there ever be too much of a good thing?

You weren't sure what those limits were exactly.

“Ya know, Y/N–," Toji started slyly, interrupting your thought.

”If I hit up Shiu and you asked him nicely with that pretty lil' mouth, I’m positive he would be down for some double daddy Eiffel Tower action.”

However from the feral grin on Toji’s face he appeared determined to test those limits with you.

You could thank your Tumblr smut fics for that. 

© ʙʟᴋᴋɪᴢᴢᴀᴛ 2023. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ, ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜰɪᴄꜱ, ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇꜱ, & ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʙʏ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪꜱᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ.

A/N: I honestly have to say I am a bit impressed with myself as I’ve never finished a story in one day before ever (although it took most of today to proofread and I still think there might be errors soz). Hopefully this is a good sign for powering through those Kinktober fics once classes start up again this Weds. Also If there is any interest possibly a PT 2 after Kinktober featuring a threesome with Shiu at his office.

Edit: errors/grammar fixed as of 9/26.

This one goes out to all of us dilf smut queens who simp Toji ❤︎

Please reblog to have DILF Daddy Toji dick you down, but likes and comments are always appreciated just the same!

[romanoffsbish]

Seed of Romanoff

Dark!Natasha Romanoff x Innocent!FReader

Request | A redhead spotted you in a cafe, and nothing was gonna stand in her way of getting to you | WC: 3,376

Warnings: Non-Con (Trafficking — By parent) | Abusive Mom | Drugs | Toxic Natasha |

Smut: Non-Con | Daddy (N) | Little Dove (R) | Restraints | Unprotected Sex (P in V - Natasha has a penis) | Degrading | Forced Breeding | Belly-Bulge |

You were hesitant, hands sweating, and teeth grinding levels of nerves raced throughout your entire body as you finally entered your house with Wanda, your new classmate turned friend. The girl had made it clear that she liked you, and the truth was you thought you might like her too, but you needed others approval first.

Your mom was really easygoing, most would say neglectful, but you figured that would probably work in your favor. It was Natasha, her youthful wife's approval that you craved, and for some reason, you never got.

——

"Hey mom," you greeted her with a hopeful smile, "I have someone I want you to meet." This caught Natasha's attention immediately, she sprung up from the couch and met the lot of you in the kitchen. You were so engrossed in letting Wanda introduce herself to them to notice the way your mom winced at your step mothers touch, her grip vice-like on her hips.

"It's lovely to meet you Wendy," Natasha replied, a cordial hand extended her way. The brunette chuckled awkwardly, shaking her hand out of respect, but you could see the way her demeanor had changed. It made you sad to see Nat likely didn't approve, because you were honestly running out of options at this point.

"Wanda," you politely corrected your stepmom, then went on in the same breath, "and I will be going up to my room now. We have an exam to study for this Friday." The way you rushed off, with her hand in yours, in a fit of giggles made the redheads blood boil.

"It's time," was all she offered your mother, the spineless woman nodded then set off to her bedroom while Natasha watched you walk into your own with the live footage now pulled up on her phone.

You were just too cute for words honestly, the way you plopped onto your bed with a silly smile made her swoon. Then she felt her mood fall when Wanda sat next to you, the strawberry brunette's hand brazenly laid on your bare thigh, and the jealousy was back as if it'd never truly left. Because it didn't, anytime someone so much as looked at what was hers she fumed.

You didn't know, but you were hers, she ensured that ages ago when she met your mom in a nightclub and tricked her into believing she was interested in her.

Natasha was well off, and your mother poor. It was easy for her to convince your mom to give her you. Your father left her when you were just a tike, and she resented you for taking her youth. As if you'd asked to be born, but regardless of the circumstances you were dealt, you were just so good. The kindest creature Natasha had ever seen, an obvious innocence that stemmed from neglect radiated from you, it was what attracted the redhead to you in the first place. When she saw you smile for the first time she was hooked.

Natasha, who was much closer to your age than your mother's, caught sight of you on campus one day. You smiled warmly at the barista, and she felt a darkness envelope her heart since it wasn't directed at her. She took a photo of you, but remained out of your eye line as she ran your face through an algorithm. Confirming to her that you were a bit younger, and so damn cute, the naivety radiated off of your instagram account.

All she knew after you left the coffee shop with a hum was that she had to have you. It was her final year of her doctorate while it appeared to only be the third of your bachelors. She knew better than to just approach you alone, you were far too delicate for her gruff, relentless demeanor. So she set out to learn all about you, and the life that led you to where you were now.

Then one day, when your mom was desperate for a fix, Natasha struck a hell of a deal. It was illegal in every single sense, but your mom took it without even a second thought to your safety or happiness. An endless supply of drugs and a home in Miami in exchange for you, her only child. The concept was sinister, and sadly fit her well. It wasn't even her first time considering it.

Fortunately, you got Natasha instead of the sleaze that propositioned her months prior. In this case, you were at least going to experience love, even in a twisted way.

Everything was finally falling into place for Natasha, your mom didn't seem to want to call it off, not that she really cared if she had. Now she could only work out if she handled Wanda first. No way was she about to let that slut have her way with you, your virginity was the redheads. She quite literally paid for that and your child bearing abilities, your genetic predisposition to fertility a cherry on top of the perverse sundae.

Your mother had vacated her womb enough times to confirm to Natasha that was the case. Surprisingly though, the redhead would've been fine if you were only able to carry one. As much as she wanted to breed you endlessly, until your body forgot how to be barren, she also was fine with one heir and the trophy wife.

First though, before she could embark on her fantasy, came the removal of the obstacle. Wanda, the younger redhead, who shared characteristics with the elder that made her want to laugh. Even in your conquest for love elsewhere did you find someone who resembled her. Whether it be her green eyes or red hair, there hadn't been a time where you brought someone unlike her home. It was a perfect reminder of your looming fate.

"Hey! Open this door right now!" Natasha shouted as the side of her fist pummeled into your locked door, "No closed doors in my house!" The action shook the walls surrounding you and startled you out of the horny girls grasp. Wanda glared at the shaking door and you just sat there with a delicate frown. Natasha had never so much as shouted at you before, so the sound actually left you feeling like a wounded puppy.

Your precious Natty, the light in the darkness that was your previous life with your mom was someone you didn't recognize at all today. It hurt your heart, because she'd never had an issue with you closing the door when Peter was over before. Though deep down you knew Wanda was harmless, your body began to regard her as a threat since your stepmom, who you adored, had clearly despised her. The cycle continued on.

"You should probably go," you sadly spoke up, "I-I really do need to focus on my study guide."

Wanda frowned, but with one look into your eyes she realized your daunting predicament. It was clear you were the mouse that'd collect the cheese, and Natasha was setting her trap. If she thought she could help she would, but deep in your gaze she could see you contently fell prey. The woman reluctantly nodded, standing to collect her bag just as she heard an ominous sound of metal scraping just outside the door. You stood up, and opened the door first, walking out to meet the fuming woman. Your soft hand settled onto her arm, and she lowered the hopefully empty gun.

"Are you okay detka?" You kindly smiled up at her over the concern, appreciating it and failing to see the way that her lips were fighting to keep from amusedly lifting. "Did she take advantage of you my little dove?"

"No," you sighed, smile falling ever so slightly, "We were just talking, she is leaving though." Wanda put truth to your words as she passed by in a rush.

"I'm sorry," Natasha solemnly said after a moment of awkward silence (she wasn't), "I just need you to be more careful sweetheart." Her lips gently pressed to your temple, and you melted into her, no discomfort present even as her pistol pressed into your back. "You are too pure, you'll never know who has ill intentions."

Oh how right she was... You'd never know.

With your front flush to hers she felt her cock twitch with anticipation for the upcoming day that she finally got to claim you, in totality. Tomorrow couldn't come fast enough. "I love you so much, my precious girl."

——

The following day you woke up to a knock, it was a simple two beats, so you lazily got up and once presentable headed downstairs to eat. However, instead of a table of delicious food you found your mom stood by the door with a suit case by her side.

"Mom?" The middle aged woman smiled, but it was weak as she opened her arms for a hug (a goodbye). It held an apology you didn't see; it was better that way.

"Hey kiddo, I'm headed off for a bit," she pinched your side and smiled, but her eyes looked sad as you met them. "Why? For how long?" She sighed, "A month."

"Natty too?" You cringed, you didn't mean for it to sound so obvious that you cared more about her, but it was always obvious. Charlotte never had the time of day for you, but Nat always did. Natasha found it hard not to laugh at your mom, whose face looked sad.

Natasha found the moment perfect, the way you were about to be all hers was beyond exhilarating. It was also a shameless way to check you out and disgust your vile mother. How dare she sell you... Like you were filthy trash... Fortunately you were left to Natasha, she'd never let you go, you were safest in her arms.

"Nope detka," Natasha sang from behind you, the sound of jingling keys followed her. "We're gonna take your mom to the airport, and then we'll get breakfast."

No one offered you more, not where your mom was going, nor the unsavory reasoning, and truthfully you didn't care to ask. Alone time with Nat was your favorite, every other time your mom left you alone with her you had the time of your life. This time would prove different though, you felt it when she kissed your lips as she entered the car after eating at the diner.

"Na-Natasha," you stuttered out her name, she found it amusing the way you were about to resist her advances even though your eyes had yet to flutter back open. "Don't worry detka, your mom is gone for good now, so we can finally be together. No more other people..."

"No, s-she said a month," you whimpered, both from the proposed betrayal and her hand on your thigh. "Your mother is a liar Y/N, you'll see that I'm not..."

The car ride home was quiet, except for the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears as her hand settled on your thigh, her grip possessive, and confusing. It was just as quiet when she guided you back inside the house, but it didn't remain as such. Natasha pushed you up against the door, with a gentle force to show you she meant what she said before, and you believed it when her lips and hands began to roughly roam.

"You're married," you tried to deter her, but she only shrugged and continued to kiss down your jawline. "That wasn't real, I only married her to have you."

"What?" Natasha pulled back, lips upturned as she saw the fear in your eyes and hot spurts of white coated the tip of her cock and spread all over her boxers. It was apparent to her that you were going to resist some, so she threw you over her shoulder and tossed you onto the bed that she shared with your mother. "Don't worry dove, we never slept together, daddy's all yours."

You cringed outwardly, but much to your shock, you felt as your heart fluttered at the twisted truth, and your virgin cunt dampened with her chosen title.

"I'm doing this for your own good," she informed you as she tied your hands to the posts of her bed. "It would be a shame if you tried to fight destiny."

"Natty," you whimpered, feelings disgusted as your core pulsed in need. “I-I.” For a brief moment she softened. "This is wrong, y-you're my step mom."

"I'm your daddy actually," she chuckled darkly, "I'm here to turn you into a mommy, so get comfortable."

No words left you as you tried to understand your fate. It wasn't until you felt the chilled tip of a blade on your bare skin that you realized you were now naked. "My mom won't be happy, you are not supposed to do this."

Natasha ran her blade down the side of your neck, a whimper left you as you felt the blood trickle down your skin and into the sheets. "Oh, you are just as naive as your mom is a filthy deviant; she gave you to me."

"N-no," you cried, you didn't want to believe her, but it wasn't like you didn't know your mom was a disaster.

"Your mother wasn't worth a sack of shit," she gritted against the skin of your neck as her hands roughly caressed your concealed womb. "But you, I just know that you'll be everything our kids will ever need."

"Kids?" You gulped, her words were clear moments ago, but yet you seemed confused until now, and the redhead chuckled, "Mhm, gonna fill you up until you are begging for more Y/N, my personal cum dump.”

Natasha smirked as your walls clenched around nothing in direct contradiction with your pleading words and persistent attempts to shove her away as your lower body pitifully tried to thrust her off. You were torn between the pleasure you'd craved for years, and the strangely alluring promise of becoming her pretty little housewife to push hard enough. "I'm not sure I want to be a mom Natty," you finally whimpered loud enough and she just laughed in your face as she pushed her cock inside of you without preparation.

The sight of your eyes crossing and mouth opening had her prematurely ejaculating, truly sealing your fate.

"Don't worry my little dove," she coo'd while stilling her hips, reluctantly allowing your untouched body a chance to get used to her twitching intrusion. "You'll be nothing like her, I promise, you'll be the perfect mom."

"I don't want to be," you cried, hands pulling at the restraints, but your words of protest were negated as you moaned like a filthy whore with a simple jolt of her hips. “Daddy isn’t in the business of caring detka.” You whimpered, heart shattering at the coldness you were not expecting from the woman you’d adored, but in the same breath you were incredibly turned on by it all.

This idea of being her filthy whore; just a hole to fuck and a womb to fill, was exciting you greatly. “That’s right detka, let daddy do all the thinking for you.” Her speed picked up in response. Your faux display of disinterest only spurring her on to show you just how much you wanted this too. It was a dual need.

With every thrust you could feel her tip twitch, and a spurt of her essence would follow. It alarmed you the more real it became that she was genuine about breeding you. Desire as you might to be hers, you were still in the process of your final year in undergrad, and had every intention to start your masters child free.

“Natasha please,” you cried, legs trying to squeeze shut, and your cunt was slick enough that it nearly pushed her back out but she thrusted against you. Her hips forced yours back onto the bed, and the way in which her tip slammed into your cervix made your mind go blank, and pussy flutter uncontrollably.

"Nice try slut!" Her fingers caressed the bump protruding from your abdomen in awe, the outline of the tip of her cock clear as day. "Your walls are working overtime to suck me dry, don't you feel it detka?" She grinned wickedly as her hand pressed firmly into your abdomen. "The urge to be full of me? My perfect little whore to breed. You'll never be hollow again."

You sobbed, it was gut wrenching, but not to Natasha. This was just par for the course, you needed a minute to see that this was always how life was meant to be. Natasha was your soulmate, you didn’t need anyone else, and she knew with time you’d be okay with that.

“Shh, stress isn’t good for baby making detka,” she scolded you as she pulled her cock out and kissed your lips with a tenderness, giving you emotional whiplash. Natasha slid a plug inside of you, it was efficient in keeping her cum inside, but purposefully short enough that you couldn’t derive pleasure by humping it. Your fate was indeed sealed; Natasha was a lot of (terrible) things, but she was never a liar. Her seed painted your fertile insides white, and every day since she's done the same. Sex with you had become a fast addiction, it took you only a minute to accept the reality. You sorta loved it, your stretched hole ached for her cock the entire time she would be away, you'd become insatiable too.

She wondered if it was the pre-natals she'd been slipping you every morning in your special smoothies that increased your need, but she liked to believe it was just your natural, insatiable attraction to her. Either way, she indulged the both of your carnal desires.

Before work she'd wake you up with her cock between your tits, you no longer wore clothes to bed because you never woke up in them anyways. After giving her head just like she wanted, with your once virgin mouth, she'd allow you to get her to the edge, but she'd always make sure to save her release for your womb.

Never one to waste an opportunity to fill you.

On the weekends she'd bend you over the coffee table, fucking you raw from the back while she caught up on her favorite shows. It was a mindless means to ensure you were carrying her kin, but at night she'd give it to you with more passion than before. There was a new toy at her disposal every single time, you wondered if the tellers at Kiss-N-Tell knew her by name now.

Natasha was a multi-millionaire, no cost was too much if it meant she could see you writhing with a pleasure only she could offer you. The redhead succeeded in ruining you for anyone else, and there was never much hope for another anyway. Not only were you stupidly in love with the woman, but you knew your only hope at freedom was her wife—your mom, who was gone.

That doomed hope of yours fizzled out fast. The month had come and gone, but in the end the only mother present within the four walls of your house was you as you held the test between your shaky hands. Two red lines, prominent in nature, flashed right up at you.

Natasha, the cause, was at work while you were crying in the bathroom. Then you heard the alarm on your phone. The oven was ready... You set two prepped buns on the pan, and zoned out as the sliders warmed. How hilarious and ironic as the two lines weren't the only pair at play here... Soon enough you'd understand.

Your heart soon cracked as Natasha held your son, Xavier, while your daughter, Inez, laid on your bare chest after a successful feeding. It was almost domestic, especially when Natasha kissed your lips with an unfamiliar tenderness.

"I can't wait for our family to keep growing," she grinned against your lips, feeling the way they shook as you gulped down your fear.

What a silly girl you were to hope for love...

[fangirl-dot-com]

Fernando Alonso - I Love My Grandpa

Wow it feels like this series is flying! After this chapter, we only have two more to go. Like – that’s crazy to me, never would have thought that one simple story idea would lead to something like a multichapter work with spin offs and extras! This one might be a little bit shorter so I apologize! I’m honestly just trying to get back onto the next chapters! 

All of you readers have helped me get to where we are with this entire work and I promise to be a good author! 

[TAG LIST IS CLOSED]

Like always, comments, questions, concerns, reblogs, and likes are appreciated! Much love <3 

You sighed as you walked around the paddock. Bored out of your ever-loving mind. Max was off in some meeting, Charles was hidden in the Ferrari garage (one you hadn’t found out how to infiltrate, the Italians are menaces to societies), Lando and Oscar are late, Alex decided to go off with Lily and NOT invite you, and Logan was sleeping. Which, in hindsight, was probably what you needed to be doing, but you were restless. 

You’d been out of the car for one of the small breaks and were just itching to get back into driver. But no. 

You were stuck in the paddock. 

Alone. 

You thought about bothering Mitch, but like most adults, she was working for the race this coming weekend. Boo-hoo. You knew that Christian could give you something to do, but that would mean an old lady job like filing. Or honestly, it wouldn’t but you didn’t want to give Christian any ideas. 

Now, you were stuck, scrolling through one of your multiple social media apps, on the hospitality roof. Your headphones were on, blocking out the world. You swiped out of Instagram and clicked on TikTok. 

Maybe you should have bothered the social media personnel. They seemed to always look for drivers to make new videos. You quickly stood up. If they wouldn’t find you, you would do it yourself. Glancing over the railing, your eyes danced along the grid. Who could you approach and force to make a TikTok with? 

Your eyes widened at the sight of the emerald green that flashed below. A smirk grew on your face as you quickly left the roof to go down to the pitlane. Once out in the sun, you made your way over the garage. 

You knew better than Max to wear the Red Bull clothing on days that it was not needed. So you blended in, kind of. You glanced around for the one driver that you knew would make a video with you. He wasn’t named “public figure of the year” for nothing. Even though it was only for Spain, it still counted. 

You walked up to a group of mechanics, suddenly feeling confident. 

“Do you know where I could find Fernando?” your voice echoed through the empty garage. They suddenly stopped what they were doing and looked at you. You felt small under their gaze, but held eye contact. 

One of them sweetly smiled and said that Fernando should be watering plants around the pit. You quickly thanked him and left the garage, a tight grip on your phone. You would get this video and be TikTok famous. 

Your only goal in life. 

You snorted at your thought. That was definitely not your goal in life, but it was one of them. Looking for the Spaniard was harder than you thought. You thought you had gone to every single garage on the planet, and he was nowhere to be found. 

At one point, you ran into several of the other drivers. And when you say ran into, it was quite literally. It wasn’t your fault that Max decided to step in front of you when you were speed walking past Red Bull. 

The impact was more than you thought, as you found yourself on the hot asphalt. You gazed up at the Dutchman, sun getting into your eyes. You pulled yourself up and stood next to him. Max still looked as though he was recovering from your hit. 

Before he could say anything though, you blurted out, “Have you seen Fernando?” 

Max had a bewildered look on his face. Why would you be looking for Fernando? From behind you, Charles suddenly appeared, eating what you think were some sort of chips. 

Right, Max never went anywhere without Charles and Charles never went anywhere without Max. Maybe for secret Santa, you’d get them one of those giant shirts for them to wear. 

Through his bites, Charles managed to get out, “I saw him earlier at hospitality.” 

You clapped him on the shoulders. “Good man. Thank you.” You quickly reached into his bag of snack, grabbed whatever your fingers could feel, and dashed away, stuffing your face. 

The Monégasque and Dutchman just stared as you bolted from the both of them. 

“What was that?” Max asked, as Charles looked down at his bag with whine.  

“She took the last of my snack.” 

Max shook his head. “Come on. We’ll get you more snacks. Red Bull doesn’t go over cost cap on catering for nothing!” 

The two drivers disappeared, leaving the various employees questioning what they just witnessed. 

As for you, you were still on your journey. You climbed the stairs once again, putting yourself right back where you started. And low and behold. 

There he was. In all his glory. 

Watering the plants?  

He must have sensed your presences, or heard you gasping for air since you took the stairs. But you wouldn’t talk about that. 

He sent you a welcoming smile and beckoned you over. You gingerly stepped closer to the plant that he was showering. You cocked your head, not knowing what else you were supposed to do. Your eyes were wide as you looked at the nice flowers that had bloomed. You decided to talk first. 

“Do you water all of the plants?” 

A deep chuckle escaped Fernando’s lips. He had watched you look with a puzzled face. 

“Not all of them. Just the ones that look like they need something extra,” he gave you a wink before turning back to his task. You took this moment to look around. At the opposite edge of the roof, there was a smaller plant that looked as if it had seen better days. 

You grabbed one of the water bottles that Fernando had near him and opened it as you cracked the seal. You carefully poured the water over the small plant. Watching, you noticed how the dirt seemed to just drink it up. 

This was actually pretty nice: having to share a quiet space with someone. You made your way over to a few more plants before walking back over. It seemed as though Fernando was done as well. 

You went to speak, but was interrupted with a growl from your stomach. Quickly looking at your phone, the time shocked you as it was already past lunch. Fernando quietly laughed. 

“Lunch?” 

You grinned widely at the suggestion. The two of you made your way down to the hospitality cafeteria. It was pretty empty, since the lunch hour had passed for multiple people. You walked up to the line, ordered, grabbed your food, and found a nice table near the back by a window. It reminded you of the first lunch you had with Mitch. 

Fernando sat across from you. You liked his energy. 

“So,” he spoke first, “I heard from one of my mechanics that you were looking for me?” He raised his eyebrow. 

Your cheeks flushed as you bit into your sandwich. You quickly swallowed to answer. “Uh, I was bored and I wanted to make a TikTok. But everyone was busy, so I thought I’d try to find you.” Your shoulders raised in a shrug. 

You found yourself doing that quite a bit. 

The Spaniard looked at you. “You couldn’t find someone younger? I’m just wondering why you’d come to me first?” 

“Well, uh, there were some mechanics not working, but I really judge people of how I feel around them. They kind of gave off a busy vibe that I didn’t like. But you have more of a calm, grandpa kind of vibe.” You sipped your water. “I mean, if you thought that your career in Formula 1 being longer than Oscar has been alive, it’s worse with me. You’re 24 years older than me.” 

Fernando looked like his body took a screen shot. 

You quickly put out your arms, trying to console the driver. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way. It’s nice to have someone who’s older. I really looked up to you as a kid, and I still do.” You twisted your fingers nervously and Fernando could see that. 

“It’s not an issue niña. I’m honored to have someone like you that looks up to me. But let’s maybe not talk about the ages.” You giggled quietly as his scrunched face.  

“It’s kind of hard not to think about it when everyone calls me kid,” your face also scrunched, same as Fernando. “I’m glad that Oscar and Logan don’t do that, but even Lando has started.” You pretended to cry. “He’s only 3 years older.” Your head hit the table.  

He kind of just watched you go through the five stages of grief. If there was one thing he knew about kids, it was to just let them go through the motions. Your head quickly shot up as you took inhaled.  “Can we make a TikTok now?”  

A small laugh left his lips. “Sure, we can. Did you have an idea?”  

Your hands reached for your phone, unlocking it quickly.  “Uh, I had a couple of ideas, but, I think one would be really funny. I’ve been seeing some comments about how you act like our grandpa sometimes, so this audio would be funny, even if it says dad.”  

You played the video, the voice filling the space around you. “I get it you’re all fatherless…I’m not, I love my dad.”  Fernando let out a chuckle as your eyes lit up at the funny sound.  

You continued, “I’d just put words over it so that it would say ‘grandfatherless’ instead.”  

“Sounds like a good plan.”  

The two of you left the cafeteria to film the segments of the video. Because of time change and wherever you were in the world, it got a bit dark while you were eating. You carefully filmed your part a couple of times before it was deemed acceptable. You guessed that Fernando had done a lot of these because he was basically a pro.

You captioned it “Honorary Gramps” and posted it with Fernando’s approval.  

Before you knew it, Max had come to get you.  

You went to leave, before turning around and jumping to give Fernando a hug. “Thanks Grandpa-Nando.”  

You stepped back to walk away with Max, who had a smirk on his face. He called back to the older man.  

“Does this mean we get to call you that?” Max bit back a laugh.

 Fernando shook his head. “Absolutely not.”  

You whacked Max on the shoulder, “Hey, that’s only reserved for Red Bull’s golden child.”  

Max had a weird look on his face. “I thought that was me?”  

You shook your head before walking past him. “You have so much to learn Maxy. Let’s go find Christian.”

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[logansargeantsbabymom]

Wide Awake

Lewis Hamilton x Fem!Wolff!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, Self-Doubt, age-gap (reader is 22), slight smut (just fingering) , oh and slight orgasm denial.

(SOFIA IS A RANDOM GIRL I MADE UP!)

A/N: This was supposed to just be a one off thing but I kept writing and writing and I'm 99% sure that no one wants to read a 25k worded chapter only for it to BARELY get to the whole point/plot of the fic. so there's going to be another chapter (3 at max)

(Also I promise Too Good To Say Goodbye 7 is coming but I was hyper fixated on trying to finish this which isn't happening ) 🫶🏽😊

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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My dad’s always warned me about getting involved with the drivers. He told me that they’re all too young, naive and that all they’ll be good for is breaking my heart. For the longest time, I believed him. I’ve seen the way some of these young drivers were with girls.

Max cheating on Sofia with Kelly, Lando talking to 3 girls at once and George, well George hasn’t done anything. Point is, I’ve seen how they are and I don’t want to get with one of the young drivers only to have my heart ripped out. AGAIN.

I secretly dated one of the hottest drivers, Charles Leclerc for about 2 months. All was going well we were happy, we had secret dates and maybe I thought he was the one.

That was until one day In Monaco when I showed up to the paddock for Free Practice 1 & 2 I saw him hand-in-hand with Alexandra Saint Mleux. When I saw them together and I realized everything she had that I didn’t. She was at taller than me, skinnier, gorgeous, had flawless skin and had a modeling career. In other words, she was a goddess.

Seeing them together broke my heart and all I wanted to do was curl into a ball and sob, but I couldn’t. My dad warned me about the young drivers but I still went behind his back and did the exact opposite of what he told me not to do. I deserved this.

I had made a beeline for the Mercedes garage just to get out of the public eye but I was so focused on getting as far away from Charles and Alexandra as possible that I hadn’t noticed I was running straight into someone.

I hit this person's body with such force I almost went flying back and I reached my hands out in front of me to try and grab anything for stability and at the same time I felt two hands on either sides of my waist trying to balance me.

I was feeling so many different emotions right now I couldn't even think straight, clearly. I was so angry at Charles for cheating on me even if weren’t technically even dating, sadness because I actually thought Charles was actually capable of loving me, and full fledged embarrassment because I just ran full on into someone thinking about how Charles just ruined my life. And my makeup.

I looked up to face the person I just ran into and tried to profusely apologize for my actions, but when I looked up tho I was met with the most gorgeous brown eyes I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I wanted to stare into his eyes forever but in the half a second it took me to look up I also realized who it was that I ran into.

The 7x WDC Lewis Hamilton.

Even more embarrassment coated my face as I realized that not only did I just bump into someone while trying so hard not to have a mental breakdown but I ran into the Lewis Hamilton, my dad's best and most loved driver. “Oh my gosh Lewis, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t watching where I was going and I really didn’t mean to run into you. Please don’t tell my dad” Honestly, it sounded pathetic. ‘Don’t tell my dad’? what are you, 12?

I stared at him in silence for about all of 2 seconds which felt like an eternity until I saw his lips curled up into a smile and heard a small chuckle come from him. “I won’t tell your dad, cross my heart” Lewis said while making an ‘X’ motion over his chest “Who are you running from? I feel like maybe I'm obligated to know since you ran right into me trying to avoid them?”

My face fell in shock. How did he know I was trying to avoid someone? I mean it wasn't rocket science, if I saw a random girl running to an isolated area with tears streaming down her face, I too am going to assume she's avoiding someone. “I- Uh, Well. See”

“It’s okay, Y/N/N, I’m not going to tell anyone. You also don’t have to tell me if you don't want to but I’m willing to help you avoid them if you do.” Lewis said as he placed a hand on my cheek.

I’ve always found comfort in Lewis’ touch. Actually, I’ve always felt comfort whenever I was in the same room as Lewis. Something about his Aura screamed ‘You’re safe with me’

As much as I wanted to, I knew there was no point in lying because one thing about Lewis is that could read people like a book. Including me. With a long, loud and dramatic dragged out sigh I reluctantly told him the truth.

“I was seeing Charles behind my father’s back for about 2 months, everything was going well and I actually kinda thought he was my person but I just now saw him hand-in-hand and all cuddly with Alexandra.” Tears sprung in my eyes and threatened to fall as I recounted what I saw a few minutes prior to Lewis.

He had a sympathetic look in his face and I could tell he genuinely felt bad for me. The hand Lewis once briefly had on my face had moved down to grab my hand before he whispered, "How about this: Tomorrow we wear almost matching outfits and we come back here also hand-in-hand. We'd be together all day and we'll be cuddly too. You know, just to make Charles jealous and regret cheating on you."

Lewis was always putting people's well-being ahead of his and it made a shy smile creep onto my face. As much as I want to, maybe I shouldn't read too much into this though, he's probably just being nice to me to stay in my father's good graces.

"Lewis," I whispered as I placed my hand on his cheek "You don't have to be nice to me because I'm your boss's daughter"

he looked a bit hurt by my accusations. "Is that why you think I'm doing this?" his hand squeezed mine a little tighter.

"Why else would you, Lewis?" his hands came up to cup my face forcing me to look at him.

"Because Y/N/N, I-" he paused, almost like he was trying to find the right words to use. "I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world. I've seen you sneaking around with Charles and it took so much in me not to go over there and tear you away from him, to show him that you're mine. I know I'm older than you but I'm wiser and I'll treat you better than he can." My jaw dropped, there's no way that Lewis Hamilton, a 7x WDC is head over heels in love with me, right?

"Lew, I-" a voice interrupted me, turning my body into stone and my blood into ice.

"Y/N!" I knew that voice anywhere and if he saw the moment that me and Lewis just shared, we were both dead.

"Dad! Hi!" I tried to sound enthusiastic but I was so flushed from Lewis' confession.

"My baby," His hands cupped my face inspecting the red all over "Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine, I'm just hot. You know how the sun is in Monaco." I said with a shrug, trying to change the subject

"Oh you have to go in the AC! Lewis," my dad turned to face Lewis who was already facing in our direction

"Yes, Toto?" he said as he cocked his brow.

"I need you to take my darling girl inside. She has a condition where she can't sweat which causes her to overheat and pass out. I am too busy with this race and getting everything perfect to be worrying about my daughter having a heat stroke."

"Oh, jeez, thanks dad. Just send Lewis to do everything for you" I said in a playful tone

"Of course Toto, I'll take her in right now." Lewis said as he walked over to me and linked his arms with mine.

Lewis started guiding me through the garage and to his driver's room where he opened the door and gestured me in. Once inside he closed the door before facing me with unsure eyes.

"What's wrong Lew?" I said as I cautiously walked over to him.

"What were you going to say before Toto cut you off?" his voice so low, I almost didn't hear what he said.

"I was going to say," I stopped right in front of him, our chests were touching. We were so close I could feel his breath against my skin. "I think that you have to prove what you said about treating me better than how Charles did."

Lewis grabbed my face and pulled me into a searing kiss, our tongues fought for dominance but his won. Lewis picked me up and sat on his couch with me on his lap so I was straddling him all without breaking the kiss.

His hands found their rightful place on my hips and applied pressure forcing my hips down as I rocked my hips to apply more force against his hardening cock.

"Mmm, you taste so good. I can only imagine how much better you taste when I'm eating your pussy." Lewis mumbled against my lips as his hands went just a little bit lower to stop at the elastic of my leggings. I guided Lewis' hands under the fabric to release some of the tension building in my core.

He understood what I needed and quickly started to run his middle finger up and down my fold, collecting all my juices before inserting it in my pussy. Lewis slowly moved his finger in and out of my hole while using his thumb to rub circles on my clit. His movements were slow and sensual bringing me closer and closer to my orgasm. I started rocking my hips into his palm to add more friction to my core and to chase my orgasm which I really needed right now. I was just about to go over the edge until a knock at the door quickly halted both of our movements and caused Lewis to yank his hand out of me leaving me without finishing.

"Mate, FP2 starts in 15. They need us by our cars now" The voice of George could be heard from he other side of the door.

“Oh fuck me” I grunted as I pulled myself off of Lewis’ lap

“Trust me, I was planning on it” He said with a smirk on his face as his hand came to rest on my ass before giving it a smack.

Lewis poked his head out of the door to make sure no one would see us leave, after the all clear we quickly rushed out of his room, both of us going in opposite directions as to not get caught.

————

The next day I heard a knock at my hotel door at the early hours of 6:00am. With a grunt I pulled myself out of the comfort of my warm and cozy bed and made my way to the door. Whoever was interrupting my beauty sleep was going to get a mouthful, I’ll tell you that.

“Do you know what time it is?!” I whisper yelled as I opened the door, not even bothering to look through the peephole to see who I would be yelling at. And boy do I really wish I did look because I was met with the tall, beautiful, muscular frame of Lewis Hamilton.

“Woah honey, I told you we were going to the paddock together. We need matching outfits” Lewis said while looking at me up and down "Do you by any chance have a matching Tommy Hilfiger set?"

"No?" I said, a little nervous

"Perfect, I bought you one that matches mine so put this on" Lewis said as he handed me a bag of 4 different sets.

"Lewis, there's four sets in here. Which am I wearing?" I said I let him in my room and watched as he took a seat on my bed right were I was once peacefully sleeping.

"Wear whichever one you want and I'll match it. I didn't know which of those four you'd like so I bought them all." My heart fluttered a bit at his confession.

--------

When Lewis and I pulled up to the race and got out of the car, we walked to the entrance hand-in-hand.

Charles and Alexandra were the first people to spot us and I took notice on how Charles dropped Alexandra's hand. When I saw that I squeezed Lewis' hand and leaned into him to tell him

"Lew, it's working. He dropped Alexandra's hand" I said with a smirk on my face.

"Wanna give them a show?" I cocked my brow at what he was suggesting but reluctantly nodded my head.

Without thinking twice, Lewis pulled me into a kiss, his hand finding their place to rest on my ass while mine traveled to the back of his neck to pull him deeper into the kiss.

I heard a strings of words which I'm assuming were curse words before I heard faint shuffles of feet echoing away from where me and Lewis were stood. Faint footsteps weren't the only thing we heard because next thing you know we heard clicks of camera shutters.

I pulled away from him with a horrified look on my face.

"Lewis! My dad might see those!" I don't think I was ever more scared in my life than I was in that moment. My dad can't know that I'm sneaking behind his back with Lewis. Well technically this is the second day of this 'sneaking around' but still, he doesn't know."

"Do you want to be with me Y/N/N?" He said dead serious while interlocking our hands

"Yes"

"So you shouldn't care about the pictures and your dad's opinion. Not everyone is going to accept our relationship but that doesn't matter because this relationship is between us. Not them"

"I need FP3 and Qualifying to end ASAP because I so badly want to suck your cock."

“I’m holding you to that” Lewis said as he swatted my ass. Surely the press people got photos of that and when those get out. I’m gonna have a fun conversation with my dad

It took us about 15 minutes to get the Mercedes Hospitality area because of all the fans asking for pictures, Press asking questions and other drivers asking what Lewis thinks he’s doing going out with me.

I almost took offense to that but quickly realized that they didn’t mean it in a rude way but more as a ‘you better be careful because if you break her heart, Toto will never resign you to Mercedes’ type of way.

When we entered, we were met with the angry eyes of my father.

“Lewis.” He said stern, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose “what are you doing with my daughter?!”

“Sir,” Lewis started but my dad cut him off

“Y/N/N, I told you not to go off with the drivers!” His voice raised, not too loud to be classified as yelling but a couple octaves louder than how it was before

“Actually, you said no messing around with the younger drivers. Lewis is older and more wise” I said as I grasped Lewis’ hand tighter.

“What are your intentions with my daughter?”

“Well sir, I intend to give your daughter the best life I can give her, I want to take her everywhere with me, I want to spoil her, I want to have her move in with me, I want to be her husband and I want her to be the mother of my kids.” Lewis squeezed my hand as he said that last sentence.

I never thought about being a mother, I never felt like it was an obligation of mine. I never thought that I wanted kids but hearing Lewis admit to my dad that he wanted me to be the mother of his kids sparked something in me. Lewis made me realize that deep down, I longed to be a mom and now I wasn’t going to be happy if I wasn’t.

“I will kill you if you break her heart.” My dad stated as he stared in Lewis’ eyes as if to try and intimidate him.

—————

It's not the best but I promise the plot is to die for!

taglist:

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti@dhanihamidi @Ggasly.p @tellybearryyyy

[httpknjoon]

taking chances | jjk

plot | After taking your chances with Jungkook three months ago, you two cross paths again. This time, the rockstar takes risks to ask Zafiro's royal princess out.

words | 4.7k+

genres | fluff, modern royalty!au, celebrity!au

pairing | rockstar!jungkook x princess!reader

note | a continuation. i made a playlist for this series! feel free to check it out :) I hope you'll enjoy reading this as much as I had fun writing this!

main masterlist | drabble series

“He totally likes you.”

Astrid immediately said as soon as you two were left alone in the palace. You know she has been itching to say that ever since you left Crystalline Stadium earlier. 

“Stop making up such a thing, Astrid,” you replied.

You don’t want to get your hopes high. But by the way that Jungkook acted earlier, your heart skipped with the idea that he might like you. Stop, YN. You warned yourself. This isn’t the first time you felt a brief infatuation with someone. It’s just that you usually took an interest in guys you bond with back when you were still studying. You never had a crush on someone you just saw singing and playing a guitar in a two-hour performance.

Unsatisfied with your response, your sister followed behind you as you walked up the stairs. She continue speaking behind you until you got in your room. She stopped on your room’s doorstep while you ignored her.

“I think everyone who was in that room can tell, YN. Jungkook tried to start a conversation with you! He was interested in you and your thoughts! He asked if you were a fan of their group even though you’re obviously not!  He even kissed your hand!” 

She was almost rapping with how many words she said in seconds. Her index finger points at your hand as if you were not aware of that. You rolled your eyes at how excited she seemed. 

“Can you lower your voice? I’m sure the house staff are already resting at this hour.” you quipped, trying to bury the topic away.

But Astrid was consistent. She went on, “And Mingyu! Mingyu tried to get our contacts. He tried! He also made Jungkook stand next to you before taking pictures with us.”

To avoid waking up other people in the palace, you just pulled her into your room and closed the door shut. A smile was stamped on her lips. You exhaled heavily, your shoulder rising up and down.

“Astrid, why are you pointing out all of these? What do you want me to do about it?”

Out of all the people in the world, you knew Astrid the most. You are each other’s partner in crime even though you have a six-year gap. You can read through her easily. That’s why she ran to you first when she needed help or advice. And based on that suspicious look on her face, her gears are turning for some crazy idea.

She grinned, “Give him a shot! Reach out to him.”

You immediately raised an eyebrow, scoffing, “Are you crazy?! Give him a shot?”

Astrid nods and you continue.

“Astrid, you don’t have to play Cupid for me. You didn’t even ask me if I–”

“Oh, you like him! You like him! I know it. I never saw you so timid and flustered with someone like earlier!” she cuts you off abruptly. “And the chemistry— it was crazy. I promise you, I never felt so thirdwheeled in my life.”

You bit your lower lip to stop yourself from smiling at what she said.

“You still have your Instagram account, right?” she asked.

You acted clueless, “Of course, why would I delete it?”

Astrid slowly squinted her eyes at you, “No, not your official account. You know what I’ve been talking about. Your secret one. The one where you post your art.”

Tired, you nod your head defeatedly. You knew she won’t get off your back until you do something.

“Great!” she clapped her hands. “Now, slide into his DMs!”

You blinked, “Again, are you crazy?”

“Chill! It’s not like he’ll read it right away. He’s in the largest band in the whole world. He has millions of followers and you will be using your Finsta. It’s honestly a needle in a haystack situation.”

She’s right. It’s not like he will recognize you with your secret Instagram account.

“Then, why are we doing this if this is just impossible?” You asked with your hands on your hips.

“I don’t know.” Astrid paused. But then her eyes light up again,  “But let’s just try. Let’s see if destiny plays out.”

“Destiny, my foot.” you scoffed before reaching for your phone.

You sat on the other end of your bed. Your younger sister watched as you think, type, and think again. Less than two minutes later, you showed her your screen,

“There, I messaged him.”

Astrid’s eyes squinted while she scanned your chats to her favorite band’s singer, “Why do you still feel formal even when sliding into someone’s DM?” she teased. “Is this how you flirt?”

“Oh, shut up. Just go out of my room right now,” you told her like you were offended, threatening to throw your fluffy pillow in her direction.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Send it!” she cackled, standing up from the foot of your bed. She turned to you once again, “But in all seriousness though, thank you for coming with me tonight! I had so much fun. I appreciate it a lot.”

“Anything for my favorite sister.” you quipped.

She grinned and enveloped you in a tight hug. And after she leaves and closes your door, you find yourself staring at your phone screen. As if your breathing got heavier and louder.  Is he going to reply? Is he? If not, it’s fine. It’s not a big deal. We only met now. And it’s definitely not. It’s not like I’m hoping for it.

Shaking your head, you turned off your phone to stop your head from having more thoughts. You changed into your comfortable clothes and head to sleep, hoping not to have any special visitors in your dreams tonight.

“What did he say? What did he say?”

As soon as you get out of your bedroom door, your little sister greeted you with elated questions. You looked at her. She was still in her favorite pajamas while you are already ready for your agenda for the day.

“And good morning to you too, Astrid.” you smiled before walking past her and down the stairs. Of course, she followed behind you.

“Oh, my god. Did he reply? What did he say?”

She had her hands clasped on her chest when turned around to answer her. You can tell she had her hopes up high. 

“It was left on read, almost at the same time I sent it.”

The moment you said that, you see how the smile on her lips falls into a small o.

“Oh.”

“Guess, I’m just some needle in his haystack.” you joked, which made her pout. You laughed, shaking it off,  “I’m kidding. It’s fine.”

You entered the dining area of the palace. The staff who were serving your meals and preparing the table greeted you and your sisters. You greeted them back as you sat on your usual seats out of twenty other chairs in this spacious room.

“Rosie, can I ask for lemons and honey for my water?” you asked one of the servants.

“Of course, Your Royal Highness.”

“Thank you.”

You ignored the baffled look on Astrid’s face at the same time you tried to turn a blind eye to that tightness in your stomach when you open your phone this morning. You don’t want to show Astrid that you were expecting so you try to play it off.

Before you can take a bite from your toast, your sister finally said something. “Maybe he thought you were just a random account.”

As much as you appreciate her effort to make everything better, you just want to move on from this topic. You were already sure from the beginning anyways that it was impossible to have such a connection with a world-famous rockstar like Jungkook. It was great to meet and see him perform live anyway.

“Sure, sure, Astrid. Now, let’s just have a peaceful breakfast and go on our day.”

“Turn here!”

“On your left!”

“Princess, here!”

The continuous flashes of lights and clicking sounds of cameras goes along with the requests of the photographers around you. You tried to accommodate their requests, turning your head and subtly posing for their lenses. For a quick second, you glanced around the white carpet, scanning among the unfamiliar faces, and eased off your shoulder when you spotted Nathalie, your assistant private secretary, in the corner. She was just behind you, fixing the tail of your gown as you move.

This year’s Met Gala theme is something along the lines of reimagining fairytales. Anna Wintour exclusively invited five royalties from around the world to come to the event. You and Astrid were among those five invited royalties. But your sister had to withdraw just four days ago due to flu. After learning that news, you almost didn’t want to go. 

You posed for a few more shots before you see Nathalie gesturing for you to go up the carpeted stairs. Before you reached the top, your eyes spotted the designer of your gown, who walked earlier than you. 

“You look magnificent, Your Royal Highness.” she greeted you as you shake hands with her.

“Thank you so much, Maria. This gown is marvelous.” you praised her. “I appreciate the adjustments you made.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Fran and I just knew you would be perfect in that gown. So we accepted the requests you had before.”

The Dior gown was originally quite revealing on the chest part. As a royal, you were often required (but not limited) to wear something modest. So when you saw this yellow gown in the choices your stylist, Fran, presented to you, you chose it with the request to put a fine cover-up for that certain part.

“Anyway, we’re going inside for the tour. Are you coming, Your Highness?” she asked.

You paused, looking at her then to Nathalie, who is now beside you, “I’ll catch up.”

Maria smiled and bid her goodbye. You smiled at her before turning to your assistant. Your smile fades as you asked her,

“Are you really not going inside?”

“Yeah, I talked to other celebrity assistants here. Apparently, we can only stay here outside as we were not invited to enter the venue. Only the red carpet.” she explained.

Your eyebrows scrunched together as you bit your lip. You just air out your frustration through a small sigh through your nose. Nat smiled, handing you your purse.

“Don’t worry, Ma’am. Your phone’s in it. Taking personal photos was not allowed. But give me a call if you want to go after the dinner event. I’ll have our ride ready and I’ll meet you here at the outside.” she assures you, holding your gloved hand. “But please enjoy the night, Your Highness.”

“Astrid should have been here,” you mumbled, sounding like a kid about to throw a fit.

Nat chuckled with you. She knew your worries. This is the first time someone from your kingdom was invited to Met Gala. You are not only representing yourself but also your country. The pressure feels like you’re in a beauty pageant. 

“You don’t have to stay for too long, okay? Just mingle a little, sip some cocktails, and enjoy their dinner there. Then, you can dial me.” she tried to assure you again.

“Okay, okay.” you sighed. “Thank you so much, Nat.”

You began to walk away as she raised her two thumbs up. An event staff, who you mistook for a model who was just standing in the background,  gave you directions on where to turn and go. He said it was only cocktail hour, and the dinner will be starting later. He encouraged you to look around the exhibition. He also helped you with the trail of your gown so you to move more comfortably.

“Thank you–” you paused, waiting for him to say his name.

“My name is Drew, Your Highness.”

You nod as you gave him a smile, “Thank you, Drew.”

“Oh, Your Royal Highness!”

You turned as you heard someone addressing you in the busy background. There, you see the woman of the hour, Anna walking up to you. She was smiling and sans her fashionable sunglasses, different from what you would usually see in pictures. 

“Anna, thank you so much for the invite." you beamed before shaking hands with her. “Astrid sends her apologies for not being able to make it here tonight.”

“It’s fine. We will always have it next year! Let’s talk about this dress, it’s gorgeous!” she exclaimed while making you turn around for her. “The color suits you magnificently. And the tiara, it’s perfect! Who made it?”

“Oh, it’s from Zafiro. It was made by a local jeweler that the King commissioned.” you proudly replied.

With the image of a certain Disney princess in your stylist’s mind, your father gifted you a gold tiara with bejeweled red roses in it. Jewelry and such are Zafiro’s top products. It’s been your father’s goal to make your country known by producing delicate and elegant pieces of jewelry.

“Maybe we can feature it for our editorials in the future.” She suggested and finally, you. “Anyway, have you gone around the exhibition?”

“Not yet. I just got in here minutes ago.”

“You should look around here, Princess. There are a lot of wonderful works here, you’ll love it. I heard you’re an artist yourself too– Do you want some drinks?” she offered when a server passed by, holding a tray of various drinks.

“Sure. Red wine is fine.” you smiled and they handed you one. You carefully took a sip before continuing your talk with Anna, “I just paint and draw in my free time.”

“That’s what being an artist is, Your Highness.” she chuckled.

You two began to walk to the main exhibit. You were silently grateful to have company. She was graceful in describing and talking about the displayed fashion pieces. But of course, she is Anna Wintour. Other guests were approaching her. She then had to go and mingle with one of her favorite models.

“Please, enjoy. I’ll see you at our table later.” she smiled.

“I will. Thank you.”

And almost immediately when she walked away, you felt alone. You looked around and everyone know everyone. They were laughing and chatting while holding their glasses. Holding tighter to your own glass of wine, you took a long slow deep breath.

Just look around.

The place is amazing and if your sister was here, you would probably enjoy it. Still, you decided to look around.

“Do you think we can smoke in the bathroom?”

Jungkook simply chuckled at Mingyu’s mumbled question as they looked around the displays. Tonight was their first Met Gala. Jungkook was invited through Dior while his bandmate was invited through Balmain. They arrived separately but found each other inside the MET.

“Oh, hey, Jungkook! Mingyu!”

Before Jungkook can even recognize the owner of the voice, Louise was already standing in front of them. She smiled before kissing each of their right cheeks.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming!” she exclaimed, talking to Jungkook only. “I watched your band’s show last week in Nashville with my best friends. You were so good! We tried to congratulate you backstage but your manager said you’re not accepting guests.”

This time, her hand lands on his chest, feeling the texture of his tux. Mingyu was hiding his teasing grin as he take a sip in his cocktail. Jungkook forced a smile before holding the model’s hand. He played it off to remove her hand away as he replied.

“Yeah, I… was kinda sick.”

Louise's eyebrows raised as she awwed, “Oh, how are you now?”

“I’m good. I got better,” he replied awkwardly.

He side-eyed his best friend for a quick second. It was a simple signal for help as Jungkook felt claustrophobic in this current scenario he is in. Louise is no stranger to him. They have met before and became acquaintances, way too far than she claims in interviews. She slides in his DM whenever she can, which in that case is every week. Jungkook always tries to be polite to her, replying to her relentless greetings. But he always finds a way to excuse himself from her invitations to hang out. He’s just not interested.

Mingyu, who is aware of this, butts in, “You know, I think the dinner will be served soon. We should go to our table.”

“Really? Maybe we should.” Jungkook agrees.

Louise seemed to frown for a second before another celebrity greeted her and got her lost in a conversation. Mingyu took the chance to pull Jungkook away, mixing in the crowd.

“The last time you were sick, we were in Zafiro.” Mingyu scoffed. 

Jungkook rolled his eyes and as if it was fated, his eyes landed on someone in a yellow gown. He cannot see properly due to distance and a bit of dim light. But he can recognize who it was.

“Is… that YN?” he guessed, making his bandmate look in the same direction.

"She’s here?!”

You were chatting with a famous celebrity couple. His heart skips when he sees you laugh. To say that you looked wonderful would be an understatement. You were easily noticeable with the color of your gown that suits you absolutely. He wondered if you had been here earlier or later than him. He didn’t know you were making an appearance. But he’s not that surprised that you’re here as you were known to be a fan of the arts too. 

“Let’s go talk to her–”

“Please go back to your seats, dinner will be served.” a staff interrupted them.

Jungkook sees you being guided as well by someone who you seemed to know. He assisted you with your dress and Jungkook quietly eyes you two until he saw you seating at the same table as Anna Wintour and other major guests. 

“Oh, it’s an honor to meet you!”

One of your favorite musicians is now seating next to you. You cannot stop yourself from smiling as she introduced herself. You didn’t mean to be so excited to shake her hands when she offered it.

“Oh, my. The honor’s all mine! I do know who you are! I am a fan of yours.” you exclaimed. “I know jazz isn’t really your main genre. But I really adore every jazz song you performed. You and Tony Bennett were fantastic together when I watched you perform during your tour years ago ”

“Thank you so much, Princess YN.” Lady Gaga replied.

She was so nice as you express your love for her jazz endeavors. You felt more comfortable, sitting next to her. She even made conversations with you and complimented you with your gown. Your heart was happy. You almost forgot she was a co-host of the event if she didn’t mention it.

“I heard this is your first time visiting New York, Your Highness.” 

Another known designer, who was at the same table as you, brought up. Suddenly, everyone’s eyes are on you and you felt smaller in your seat. This is strange.

“It is,” you replied with a small smile.

“How are you enjoying it so far?” an actor asked.

“Oh, I haven’t really been anywhere than my hotel room.” you joked. “I just arrived here this morning.”

Then, everyone starts recommending what you should do and where you should visit. They mentioned popular spots and restaurants. They also added some seemingly fun activities. But as much as you like that, you will not be staying for too long in the country for your duty in Zafiro. But instead of telling that, you just replied:

“I will, I will.”

Throughout the whole dinner, Jungkook tried to remain engaged in whatever conversation was happening in their own table circle. He laughed along to their jokes while also stealing glances in your direction. He sees you mingling and laughing at the beginning of the dinner service.

But as the night gets older and almost everybody began standing up from their chairs to dance along to the music being played in the background, you remained in your seat. Jungkook thought of going up to you to invite you to maybe dance, but he saw you kindly declining a couple of people who tried to do the same thing. You just watched them quietly.

“Hey, JK.” Mingyu, who has right beside him, snapped him out of his gaze at you.

Jungkook turned his head around.

His friend continued, “There’s an afterparty hosted by Stell McCartney at Zero Bond. Let’s go. I think everyone’s coming there. It’s gonna be fun.”

“Yeah, sure. We just can’t stay too late. We still have to perform tomorrow.” Jungkook reminds him and Mingyu nods.

And when Jungkook looks back at the same spot you were at, your chair is already empty. One of his eyebrows raised and his eyes traveled around the place. After a quick scan, he spotted your back going in the direction of the main exhibit.

You don’t know why. But sometimes, being a royal makes you feel a bit isolated. It’s not that no one wants to interact with you– actually, a lot of people did. It’s just that you know every move you do will reflect your country and family.  So, you try to be careful in this large, crowded event. So, here you are, in one of the most significant and fabulous events in the fashion world, sitting on the same chair you have been sitting in thirty-five minutes ago.

Three men had already tried to invite you to vibe along with the fun music but you only smiled and gently reject them. You don’t really dance except for formal ones. 

“She doesn’t really talk much, doesn’t she?”

It was a whispered question that you managed to hear from someone not too close to you. Even though they didn’t mention any names, you knew who they were talking about. You felt glances towards you. So you turned, offering a small smile to them. They seemed surprised as their eyes widened before they smiled back, slightly bowed, and walked away. 

Maybe I should just call Nat.

You sighed, agreeing to that idea. But before that, you get up and silently make your way to the main exhibit. To at least look around one last time before you leave this magnificent museum.

It was quieter in this area. A staff bowed at you when your eyes met as you entered the room.

“I apologize, can I still look around here?” you asked them.

“Of course, ma’am. We just don’t expect someone going in here while the party is still going on there,” she said and you simply smiled.

You felt calmer as you take in the intricate designs of the gowns displayed. Even the suits for men were perfect for the theme. Without many people around, you were given more chances to focus on the displays. You simply examine every design that was brought to your younger years. You used to sketch unlimited numbers of clothes and designs when you got your first crayons and sketchpad. It’s nothing compared to these gowns but it showed your colorful imagination back then. You imagine the four-year-old version of yourself jumping up and down while looking at every fashion gown and suit.

“Enjoying the night, Princess?”

“Oh!”

You almost jumped in your gown when you see a certain man when you turned around. Your hand was clutched on your chest as you blinked.

“Jungkook.” your feeble voice murmured, still in shock at his sudden appearance.

“It’s nice to see you again, Princess YN.”

And once again, he held your hand and planted a small kiss on the back of it. You wondered if he felt how cold it was or how you froze with–again– the unexpected action. Maybe he can hear how loud your heart beats. Or how many butterflies played around in your stomach the moment you felt his lips on your skin. 

Does he really love doing this to everyone he meets?

You don’t want to think you were being treated specially by him through this action, especially since you got no reply after reaching out to him three months earlier. 

“You know for someone who has been attending massive royal events ever since they were little, you seemed pretty flustered tonight.”

Jungkook tried to break the silence. He was scared by your reaction when he looked at you after kissing your hand. You were just staring at him. But after he said that, you gently took away your hand as you straightened up your posture.

“Well, that’s because Zafiro is different from other places like these,” you replied in a joking manner, but you were just being honest.

Then suddenly, silence found its way between you two. It’s not awkward. Nor suffocating. It’s strangely peaceful. There was still this distant sound of the party away but Jungkook found himself in a staring battle against you. And admittedly, he felt conscious when you ran your eyes from his down to his outfit. Then back on his eyes again.

“Is that real?” you asked.

“Hmm?”

“The piercing on your lip.”

“Oh.” Jungkook touched the silver ring on the corner of his lips. “It is. Wanna touch?”

He said it as a joke and he smiled when he saw you finally smile and giggle.

“Thank you for the offer. But I would have to decline that. It looks great on you and so is your suit.” you told him, making him shyly scratch the back of his neck.

“Thank you, I could say the same thing with you. You’re stunning as always.”

As always. That one was embarked in your mind even though you tried to not think much about it. You cleared your throat,

“What are you doing here anyway, Mister? The party is happening inside.”

He slipped his hands in his pants pockets, “I can ask the same thing of you, Your Highness.”

“I’m just taking one last tour around here before I call for my ride.” 

His eyebrows raised, “You’re leaving already?”

“Uh, yes,” you answered, ignoring the question in your head that said: was he sad I’m leaving already?

“You’re not going to any after-parties? I and Mingyu is actually going to one of those. Maybe I can contact you through–”

But you cut him off before you can fully think, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Mr. Jeon, considering that you didn’t respond when I reached out to you after we met.”

Lines were automatically between his brows as he heard, “What?! I didn’t receive anything from your communication office in Zafiro.”

“You took that seriously?” you scoffed.

“Of course, I did. I thought you don’t really give your number to anyone outside your family.”

“Well, okay. But I messaged you after we met.” you went on.

“What?!” 

“I DM-ed you.”

“What?”

“With my private account. You immediately read it after I sent it. Wait, let me show you.”

Reaching in your purse, you got your phone. You don’t know why are you even doing this. You tapped on your screen quickly, slightly feeling determined. This seems risky. You went straight to your secret account and opened the one and only message you had there. You showed it to the man in front of you and watched his eyes get bigger as read it.

He was fast to explain himself, “Oh my god, I remembered that one! But I was sick and drowsy in the following days later, maybe that’s why I didn’t respond. I forgot. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”

You processed everything in your head. Jungkook stood there, waiting for you to say something when an idea popped into his head.

“How about this?” he began. “Our band will be performing for a night here in New York tomorrow. It’s one of our last performances for our tour.  Are you still here by then?”

“I’ll be flying back to Zafiro tomorrow, before midnight,” you replied almost automatically. Like you were programmed to do so.

“Okay, the concert will be starting at eight. It will probably end by ten. Maybe we can still meet backstage. You know… to hang out.” he pursed his lips by the last sentence.

You squint your eyes at him, “Is this a sorry gift?”

“No, just like what you mentioned in your message,  it’s an invitation. But with a backstage pass.”

Nat eyed you through the moving car’s rearview mirror. You were biting off a smile as you looked down, typing on your phone.

“Any plans to tour around the city tomorrow, Your Highness?”

Your eyes remained glued to your screen as you replied, “Maybe. But free up my last six hours here. I’m going to a concert.”

kindly read my taglist rules before u comment about being added to the list. tysm!

taglist rules

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[anon-sect]

Picture source: @its.my.shoez Instagram account

Tracey received a call from his supervisor to come straight to his office shortly after arriving at work. He began to wonder what his supervisor wanted so early in the day. He hoped it wasn't bad news. He really didn't need to hear that. He was having a bit of bad luck situations recently. He had been behind in his portion of the rent on the apartment, having his roommate to make up the difference. If that wasn't bad enough, his car was in the shop, having major repair work done to it. He had been forced to use Uber services to get to work. He didn't need any more bad news at the moment.

Tracey entered James, his supervisor's office. He motioned to have a seat.

"I called you in before you got started for a reason. There is no easy way to say what i have to tell you. Unfortunately, there were some budget cuts, and your position was one the company decided to cut effective immediately." James paused. "I am sorry to bring such sad news to you, but it's out of my hands."

Tracey definitely didn't want to hear that at a time like now. There had to be another solution. Honestly, if there was one, he would take it no matter what it was. "I understand that, but please, is there any other position that is open or available. I really can't take any more sad news right now." He pleaded to James, hoping there was something he could offer.

James had one other offer, but those who were released or fired would not take it due to the dangers it carried in accepting it. He decided to offer it anyway. "There is one opening available, but it carries a risk." He pulled out the contract and slid it over to Tracey.

Tracey looked over the paper and read it twice. There was a large bonus of $100k once done, but there was a risk. "So I get the $100k, and the other gets $50k once the year is up, right?" He asked, to be sure he understood right. He saw James nod yes to his question.

"But remember the risk you take. If the owner decides to forgo the $50k, you belong to him. There is no return." James paused. "You literally are placing your life in another's hands. You fully understand?" James reiterated.

Tracey needed something good. "Can I choose who owns me?" He asked back.

"Ordinarily, you really don't have a choice, but I will make this one exception since you really were a good employee. Just write in the name of who you want it to be and sign it. We will do the rest." James promised. He would at least do this one favor for a guy who was having a bad day. Tracey handed the paper back with his signature on it. He ran it through his copier and filed the original. He handed the copy back to him. "Take this to HR." He instructed him as he placed a call down to HR about the position.

Several hours later, Seth came into James' office. He motioned for Seth to have a seat. He slid over the shoe box to him. He watched as Seth opened it and was puzzled why he was receiving a new pair of sneakers. "We have been wanting to try out an experimental product, but no one ever took the offer. That was until your coworker Tracey signed up to do it." He spoke as he also showed the contract that Tracey had signed. "These sneakers are Tracey now. He is still alive, just that he is a pair of sneakers. He chose you to wear him for a year. The point of the experiment is to test the durability of our indestructible formula. All you have to do is treat him like normal footwear for a year. If you wish to conclude the formula test for both of you, he gets $100k bonus tax free, and you get $50k bonus check tax free." He added to his previous words. He waited for Seth to reply back.

Seth took out the shoes and examined them. It was hard to believe the sneakers he was holding were actually his best friend at work. He wondered why Tracey would even agree to this. "Why did he choose to be my sneakers?" He asked, feeling curious. Like, who would really choose to be another person's footwear?

"The company had cut his position in budget cuts. To stay on with the company, this was his only option." James reported honestly.

"So I wear him for a year and return him back, and he gets $100k bonus check and I get $50k bonus check, all tax free?" Seth wanted to be sure he understood right.

"Yes, that is your first option." James spoke.

Seth heard first option which meant there was a second option. "What's my second option since I have a first?" He asked wondering what it could be.

"Your second option is that after one year, if you decide to continue with the experiment for us, you get $100k bonus check tax free, but poor Tracey will have to spend another whole year supporting your feet. Every year that you continue, you receive a $100k bonus check tax-free, but that also means you subject Tracey to being your shoes." James paused to be fully serious. "Option two means you are in control of his humanity or return to human form. He specifically selected you to wear him. So I sense that he has some sort of trust in you to decide how long he will be supporting your feet." He finished.

Seth, like the thought of receiving a $100k bonus check. Yet, this was his best friend at work who he was about to wear on his feet for a year. To receive that bonus check every year would be awesome, yet that meant keeping his best friend as his footwear. Could he really do that to Tracey, he pondered.

"We will revisit your option in one year. Until then, enjoy wearing Tracey." James spoke.

Seth put the sneakers back in the box and left the supervisor's office. When he got back to his desk, he opened the box and whispered to his sneakers. "I have to say, $100k every year sounds so nice. Sorry Tracey, but I have to take option two. I hope you understand, but I promise to take good care of you as you take good care of my feet for a long time." He took off his current shoes and put on Tracey.

Tracey thought he knew his best friend well enough. He thought that he would only be sneakers for a year. He thought that Seth would not be tempted by the amount of money. He saw he was wrong. He saw the pair of socks on Seth's feet weren't exactly clean and had a slightly strong vinegar odor. It was pressed hard into his insole face. This was his existence, to live as sneakers for Seth for at least a year or possibly longer.

FIVE YEARS LATER.......

Seth enjoyed a rather smooth life. For the past five years, the job gave him a $100k bonus check for continuing to test their indestructible formula. He has used Tracey for every gym and workout session. He has worn him to work every day. He even tried cutting him with scissors. He did anything and everything to try to destroy his sneakers, yet he remained relatively unscathed. Not only that, Tracey was the most comfortable footwear he owned. He didn't exactly know how Tracey felt about being sneakers every year, but the money was coming in handy. He even wore him on vacations that he took each year. His life was great, thanks to Tracey choosing him instead of someone else. There were weeks where he wore the same pair of socks every day to thank Tracey for the money he wad receiving each year. Life truly was great with having a pair of indestructible sneakers.

[to-the-stars8]

Reviving Love

Jason Todd x Reader AO3

Chapter 2

Jason hadn’t meant to stalk your Instagram page, but it was too tempting. Your profile was public and you posted just the right amount that he could put pieces of your life together from the time he died to the present. Eventually, he had scrolled down far enough that he surprisingly found a picture of you and him.

By the shit mid-2000s Instagram filter and the poor iPhone quality, it had to be right when the two of you started dating. Jason subconsciously ran a hand over his cheek, feeling the stubble and small scar on his jawline as he stared down at the smooth-skinned, rosy-cheeked boy in the photo. It had been before the years got to him, and it was almost an anomaly to see himself so content. He’d forgotten he had been at one point.

Jason shut off the phone, the picture brought him back to reality. Even if he did see you again, he felt too unattractive to ever approach you. No, the scars on his body and the bitterness that hung off every word he said would probably turn you away. He sat on his bed, thinking about how if you saw him again you would probably be deeply disappointed. 

And, scared because, as far as you knew, he was dead. That much would be obvious. 

Jason cursed Dick again for bringing you up. He didn’t know if it was pathetic or not that he was thinking of an old flame from back when he was a little more than a teenager. Surely, you probably hadn’t thought of him in years as it looked like you had moved on with your life. In any case, he was happy about it and tried to do the same. 

The only time he’d ever thought of you before was when you popped up occasionally in his dreams. He’d wake up, and wonder what the fuck that was about. Then he would get up to work out, cook, or anything else so he wouldn’t dwell too much on the thought of you. 

This time, Jason got up to get something to eat as hunger was starting to burn at the corners of his stomach. When he opened the fridge, the light illuminating the dark room, there was nothing. Well, almost nothing. There was a pickle jar, expired cheese, and some beers but nothing that would constitute a good meal for a growing boy as Alfred would say. Defeated and hungry, Jason resigned himself to the horrible fate of having to leave his apartment to go to the store. Groaning, he pulled on some pants and a hoodie before grabbing his keys. 

It wasn’t too late in the evening so plenty of people were still going about, leaving work to return home or going out for the night. Honestly, Jason didn’t find it all too bad. In fact, in a certain light, Gotham could be nice. In a late eighties neo-noir kind of way. The sound of the people on the street with the traffic in the background under the light rainfall made Jason feel at home. It was the diamond in the rough. 

The light rain was a nice relief from the lately warmer weather as summer was finally fading away to let autumn in. Luckily, the store was right around the corner from his apartment, so being outside in the light drizzle wouldn’t be too much of a hassle. 

The store owners greeted him as he entered. Another thing he liked was this part of Gotham, the one not seen by people like Bruce. It was familiarity, a general tough, arms-length kindness that was much appreciated by him. 

“We’ve got those cigarettes you like so much, Jason,” The old man said. “Those imported ones, ya know?” 

“You know I can’t pass those up,” Jason laughed. “Let me grab some groceries and I’ll come back up here to grab ‘em.” 

With a laugh, Jason playfully waved off the old guy as he did the same, wandering down one of the many aisles. Bread, cheese, meat, and soda—The meal made for a growing boy. Jason wandered up and down for a little while, pausing at the selection of condoms before laughing to himself. Nah, he wouldn’t need those any time soon. 

He was about to turn down another aisle when he bumped into someone. “Shit, sorry,” He said, finally looking up. 

Just his fuckin’ luck, he had bumped into you.

[rafeverse]

the new plug

CW: r sells weed

“goddamn, bro” rafe coughed, carefully handing the red bong back to kelce. “this is some good shit.”

“fuck yeah it is. i got it from my new plug, got the best weed you’ll ever smoke in your life.” kelce placed the bong back on the table in front of him.

“what happened to that other dude you were buying from? leo or some shit?” rafe asked, prepping the bowl to take another hit.

kelce shook his head, “he’s a fucking bitch. he scammed me and then just disappeared. nobody’s seen him.”

rafe nodded, carefully lighting the bowl. “so, who’s your new guy?”

“actually,” kelce’s face lit up with a boyish smile. “it’s a girl.”

rafe almost choked when he heard the last part of his sentence. a girl? kelce was buying his weed from a girl?

“what?” rafe was sure he was joking, that the marijuana was talking for kelce.

“yeah, man. it’s this girl in my econ class. we had to work as partners on this project, so we decided to meet up at the library. when she got there, i smelled it on her immediately, asked her about it, and she finally told me. then, we smoked together and i bought this from her. i told her to text me when she gets new shit in.” kelce shrugged as he decided to ditch the bong and roll a blunt instead.

rafe sat across from him, jaw dropped. he couldn’t believe the weed he’d been smoking for the past hour came from a girl plug. he honestly thought it was kind of hot and was now intrigued, wanting to know more about his friend’s new plug.

“is she hot? what’s her name?” rafe asked, trying to play it cool.

kelce laughed and passed the blunt, “y/n is hot as fuck, bro. you’d love her. she’s fucking funny.”

rafe nodded.

“what’s her number?”

-

y/n felt her phone buzz in her jacket pocket. rolling her eyes at the interruption, she ashed the blunt and grabbed her phone.

UNKNOWN NUMBER: Hey

UNKNOWN NUMBER: Y/N?

her eyebrows furrowed as she studied the unknown number on her screen. she hesitated on texting back, but ultimately decided to, figuring it was just someone trying to buy from her.

Y/N: hi

Y/N: what do u want

Y/N: wait who is this

rafe smiled to himself, letting out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding in as he saw her responses come through.

UNKNOWN NUMBER: Rafe. I got your number from Kelce earlier. We smoked that shit you gave him and it was crazy.

RAFE: You got anymore?

“rafe,” y/n thought to herself. she had never met him before, but she’d seen him at parties with kelce. he was usually doing the harder shit (coke) that she didn’t care too much about, so their paths never crossed. but, a quick look through his instagram was enough to tell her that he was loaded and she could always use the extra money, so she texted him back.

Y/N: ya

Y/N: come over whenever, i’ll be home all day

Y/N: *current location*

y/n locked her phone when she saw that he had read the messages and placed it back into her jacket pocket.

-

a few hours later, y/n heard the rumble of a truck pulling into her driveway. she carefully peeked between her blinds to see who it was and exhaled when she realized it was only rafe.

she stood up, ran her hands over her hair, and opened the door for him.

“you must be rafe.”

he felt his stomach flip at the sight of her sweet smile. he almost laughed after eyeing her up and down. she wore a huge hello kitty sweatshirt that hung off of her shoulder and black leggings, complete with the most basic white nike socks. there was no way this was the girl kelce got that weed from.

“i must. i’m assuming you’re y/n, the drug dealer?” he smirked at her, crossing his arms.

“that’d be me.” y/n laughed nervously. she knew he was cute from afar and from his pictures, but up close was a completely different story. she felt her cheeks heat up as she admired his features. “um, you can come on in if you want or you can stay right here, it doesn’t matter. i just, um, need to go get my, uh, stash. so, i’ll be right back.” y/n pointed behind her as she opened the door wider for rafe, allowing him to step inside her small house.

he watched her as she disappeared down a hallway. her house was not what he was expecting. it was very clean and nicely decorated. rafe could tell she’d put a lot of effort into making her house a home.

his attention turned back towards her when she appeared in front of him, holding a small pink baggie.

“here you go, sir!” y/n handed rafe a small, pink baggie and began walking with him back onto the porch.

“that’s it?” rafe stopped walking as he eyed the baggie in confusion. “this might be one blunt. maybe two. don’t you have more?”

“but if i give you all my weed at one time, you might not come back for a while, and where’s the fun in that, hm?” y/n tilted her head to the side, putting on a fake pout.

rafe smirked, leaning down to talk in her ear. “well, if this shits as good as it was earlier, you’ll be seeing a lot more of me, princess.”

y/n mirrored his expression, a smirk plastered on her own face. “i’ll be waiting.”

he sent her a wink as he walked off of her porch and back to his truck. she waved goodbye before walking back inside.

when she shut her door behind her, she couldn’t help but let out girlish giggles to herself.

-

later that night, as she was lying in bed, she heard her phone ring. she was surprised to see that rafe was facetiming her.

y/n sat up, turned her lamp on, and quickly fixed her hair before answering his call.

“y/n,” rafe began.

she knew he was outside and assumed he was already high.

“rafe,” she replied.

“look at this! i told you it would only be enough for one blunt! see, look.” he flipped the camera around to show a small table. on the table was the blunt he’d rolled from the weed he’d bought from her and the empty pink baggie.

“oh man, you’re out already!” y/n slapped her palm on her forehead, faking concern. “what are you going to do?!”

“well, i’m feeling nice right now, so i’m not going to come over tonight since you’re already in bed. but, i will be over there bright and early tomorrow morning. so be ready for me, princess.” rafe winked as y/n rolled her eyes (with the biggest grin on her face).

“of course. goodnight! i’ll be awaiting your arrival, mr. cameron.” y/n said in her best british accent, before blowing rafe a kiss and hanging up.

she put her phone on the charger and got comfortable, trying her best to fight the newly arrived butterflies in her stomach and get some sleep.

[diaryujin]

𝐀 𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓, 𝐀 𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃

summary: being part of a gang that murders isn't as badass and cool as those silly romance novels make it out to be. it involves questions, regrets and tough decisions, including ones related to your ex, jay.

genre: angst

includes: exes to (not so) lovers, inaccurate gang life pls bear with me i don't do illegal shit *sob*, murder, death, blood, curse words, guns, jay is mentioned as a nepo baby, mentions of (g)i-dle minnie and soyeon and le sserafim chaewon, quite some flashbacks, not that good ngl, not proofread, lmk if i missed anything

pairing: ex! gang member! jay x ex! gang member! fem! reader

word count: 2.7k

a/n: i apologize for 1. not updating 'diary entries filled with her' i've been busy writing this and i've been too drained to upload those :( i'll start with them again tomorrow and 2. if this isn't all that good idk why i wasted time writing this but oh well

“Y/N, your target is agent JJXNG. He’s an assassin like you who’s part of the team trying to track us down.” You focused on Minnie in front of you, the leader of the gang you were a part of. You were her most trusted assassin and the one she assigned the most difficult targets to. Sometimes, you didn’t understand what kept you in this job, but all your doubts would clear whenever you saw the stacks of cash as your monthly salary.

“JJXNG. How long has he been with the squad?”

“Two years. He’s a formidable force though — sneaky rat. He slips out from right under our noses.” “I see. Any specific date I should get him dead by?” “As soon as possible, honestly. I’ll tell Chaewon to set up a lead in one of our usual alleys.”

“What about alley 96?”

“Perfect. See, this is why I love you so much.”

She patted your shoulder, grinning a little. You chuckled, but it was weak. Seeing that, her face wore a look of concern.

“Are you okay with doing this though? I know you’re going through that break up…”

You shook your head.

“I’ll be fine. Can’t let emotions get in the way, right? Anyway, it’s not like this involves him.”

“I understand if not though. I’ll just ask Soyeon.”

“Seriously, I’ll do it.”

She tilted her head questioningly, and you nodded. She sighed before letting go of your shoulder.

“Alright then, I’ll call you once Chae is done. Take care of yourself until then, hm?”

“I will. Take care, Minnie.”

She smiled, and you reciprocated the gesture.

Upon reaching your apartment, you went into your room, looking for a change of clothes. Hands moving through your wardrobe, you froze as they landed on a certain hoodie.

Jay’s.

You must’ve mistaken it as one of your own when you were returning all his stuff. You ran your hands slowly over the fabric which was surprisingly still somewhat warm. He bought it in the USA, and it was rather expensive. You often stole it from him to the point where he just gave up and gifted it to you.

Unfolding it, you had an internal debate over whether you should wear it. In the end, you took off the clothes you were wearing and wore the hoodie and a pair of comfortable leggings. Why leave it to collect dust?

Soon, you were on your bed, lazing around as you scrolled on your Instagram feed. Your eyes were looking at posts, stories, and reels, but your brain processed nothing. 

Jay.

Homemade cooking.

As if on cue, your stomach grumbled.

You buried your face in your mattress, groaning. Hell, you missed the taste of his food, but worse — you missed him.

You were yet to reach the acceptance bit of the five stages of grief, and it was hindering all your thoughts. Looking back at your phone, you closed Instagram and opened your gallery.

A major part of getting over someone was deleting the more intimate pictures with and of them.

Fuck it, you didn’t.

How could you, when the man was way too fine to be real?

You were holding on to slivers of what you used to have, and you knew it was unhealthy, but who were you to care?

Scrolling through all the pictures, different memories played in your mind by a broken record. Smiley, hot, cute, straight from hell, meme-worthy, sculpted by Michelangelo, jawline sharp enough to cut through a watermelon, goofy, with a guitar — your photo album of him had all genres of Park Jongseong, even his darkest and deepest ones.

If everything was so perfect, what went wrong?

You reflected on your three-year relationship with him. Arguments were few and far between the two of you. You spent a lot of time with him, he spoiled you a lot (even though you told him not to), he treated you like a princess, and you reciprocated it as much as you could. Even with all your missions with the gang, everyone would call you both the perfect couple.

Your parents adored him — he was their ideal son-in-law — and you couldn’t help but smile as you remembered the shy look on his face as they explicitly told him that. His parents were friendly with you. Sure, they were a bit awkward and haughty, but you had seen worse.

All this got you wondering…

Where in the middle of this dreamy paradise did the devil find his home?

He wouldn’t have cheated. He was too good-hearted for that…or at least you hoped.

You did a little digging after you both ended things, but (un)fortunately you had no evidence to support your claim, and couldn’t have any justified hard feelings towards him.

You had the events of that day burned in your memory — the day when the safe little bubble you lived in burst.

He was at your place, and you both were watching a movie together. Usually, you’d be cuddling with him, but that day, it was like he was doing his best not to let even an inch of his skin come in contact with yours. It hurt your feelings, sure, but you just brushed it off as him being on his man period.

A scene appeared on the screen where the main character and her love interest were having a cheesy date, and you turned to look at Jay, expecting a comment about how your relationship with him was better or a lovesick smile, or his lips puckering out in an awkwardly endearing manner, or- or- anything other than a blank stare and a frown. He noticed your gaze and his jaw tensed.

“Y/N…this-this- you and I…”

He took a deep breath.

“I can’t do us anymore.”

Your eyes widened, and your mouth opened and closed like a fish. Your hand reached for his instinctively, but he drew it back, showing that he wasn’t joking. 

“But- why? What’s-What’s going wrong? It’s nothing we…we can’t fix, you know- I’m sorry if I did anything, I’ll-I’ll change my ways, just please don’t-”

“It’s not your fault, okay? I just- my work is getting more time-consuming nowadays, and I don’t want to end up neglecting you in the process, Y/N. You deserve someone better.”

“I don’t need anyone else, Jay! You’re more than enough, you’re my everything! I don’t care if you have to spend less time with me, I understand and I’ll manage-”

“No Y/N, trust me. Plus…”

He looked away nervously, eyes staring at the paused screen as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

“Plus…?” “My parents disapprove.”

Silence.

“Oh.”

You couldn’t say anything against that. You knew how much Jay loved his parents, and you would never want to come between them.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I wish it wasn’t like this.”

“That’s okay. I know- how they mean the world to you.”

“I’m not saying you don’t, but-”

“It’s fine, really.”

He placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. “I wish you all the best in your future endeavors, Y/N. I’ll never forget you. I just can’t.”

“You too, Jay. Good luck with your work.”

And just like that, he left.

A month ago.

You wanted to scream. This was like the millionth time that you thought about that day.

You seriously had to get something better to do in your life. 

Suddenly, a call came on your phone. You looked at the ID, and as you expected, it was Minnie.

“Y/N? Hello.”

“Hey, Minnie. Something up?”

“They took the bait literally an hour after Chaewon set it up.”

There was a snicker of amusement from her end, and you grinned a little to yourself as well over how stupid the squad was.

“Damn, they’re confident.”

“I know! They didn’t even wait!”

“It’s dumb.”

“Mhm. Anyway, those bitches set up the meeting date as fuckin’ tomorrow. Wild, no?”

“Seriously? So soon? Kinda feeling bad for JJXNG, the poor guy most likely isn’t even prepared.”

“Fools, really. Deserved. You’re up for it, right?”

“Of course. Time?”

“11 p.m.”

“Alright, I’ll see you at the base at 10:30 p.m. tomorrow. That good?”

“That’s perfect. Alley 20, by the way.”

The alley was quiet, the streetlights providing just enough luminescence for you to notice the outline of a man slowly approaching you. You gripped the pistol in your hand tighter, setting your arm to the side so that the guy wouldn’t notice.

The soft but heavy sound of his footsteps was slightly muffled by the drizzle that left you a bit soaked. Drops of water trailed from your hair to your face, and you wiped them off with your free hand.

The man was now close enough to you. He wore a mask just like you did, but his was black with ‘JJXNG’ written on it in bold, red letters.

This guy was bloody stupid.

There was something familiar in his gaze, but you brushed it off as deja vu. He seemed to be sizing you up, so you did the same. You noticed that he had a gun too, so you moved yours further behind your back. Looking into his eyes, you saw that there was a bit of confusion swirling in them.

“Agent JJXNG? Hard to pronounce.”

You chuckled dryly, but his eyes widened.

“You’re…ENZ? Wait, but-”

Why…why was his voice so familiar? The guy had the same tone as…as someone who had been a vital part of your life until a month ago, and then became a permanent resident in your head.

“Y/N?”

You froze.

“How- How the fuck do you-”

The same surprise. The same shock. The same concern.

“Jongseong…?”

He lowered his mask at you saying his name, and you could see how his mouth was agape with shock. You did the same, although your lips were pursed together in a thin line. 

“I didn’t expect to be seeing you so soon.”

His hands fidgeted with his pistol, and you realized.

You were tasked to kill him.

He stood still for a moment, seemingly going through the same dilemma.

“So, Jongseong, this is the work that’s been so time-consuming, hm? Did your parents approve of this?”

He gritted his teeth, remembering how he said those things as a reason for breaking up with you.

“Look, Y/N-”

“I’m not about to get together with you right now.”

“I’m not that desperate.”

That hurt, and you had no idea why.

“Do you promise to never keep secrets from me, Jay?”

You held out your pinkie suddenly, catching him off guard. The poor boy was just trying to cook.

“All of a sudden?”

He chuckled, before instantly locking pinkies with you.

“I promise, only if you do the same, love.”

You smiled at him, before placing a chaste kiss on his cheek.

You shook your head, not wanting to remember unfulfilled promises right now. Suddenly, your eyes focused on the gun pointed directly at your forehead and you winced, mentally slapping yourself for losing focus.

“Didn’t think I’d be doing this ever in my life, but here we are.”

His tone was cold yet cocky, which was annoying as hell. You reciprocated the gesture calmly, and he narrowed his eyes at you.

“Fuck. Should’ve seen that coming.”

He was in a pissy mood. You were in a pissy mood.

An irritated Jay plus an irritated you equaled disaster, which was why you usually avoided each other when both of you were emotionally heightened.

Unfortunately, circumstances didn’t allow that. You were at his house already mad, and you wanted to be with him to blow some steam off. He got some news from work that seriously angered him by the time you were there.

It started with you forgetting to wash the dishes once and ended up with the both of you having a screaming match in the living room. He complained that ‘you never cared about his feelings’ and you retorted by saying ‘he had extremely high standards’.

That was your first major argument, and it ended so badly that you didn’t contact each other for a week.

Why were you having all these flashbacks? You weren’t some anime protagonist. 

“Is this a race of who kills who first?”

“It’s always like that. I thought you had two years of experience under your Prada belt? Or are your targets handed to you on a silver platter as well?”

He scoffed at your remark. He never liked to be reminded that he was a nepo baby. He was always extremely humble and sweet, even if he occasionally didn’t understand seemingly normal things due to his upbringing.

But fuck it, to hell with him and his kindness.

“It just feels weird, since I’m killing you.”

Your grip on your pistol loosened.

“...yeah.”

His eyes were now filled with remorse as they softened.

“Frankly speaking, I don’t-don’t really know how I’ll go on- move on from this.”

He cared.

He still cared.

A week after that big fight, you had someone at your door — Jay.

When you saw him at your doorstep, all of your favorite snacks cooked by him in one hand and a necklace box in another, you didn’t know how to react.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that.”

He genuinely looked like he was going to burst into tears. You hugged him tight, and he buried his head in your shoulder, sniffling a little.

“I forgive you. I’m sorry too.”

“I thought I lost you, love. Please- don’t leave me.”

“I won’t, Jay. I never will.”

The rest of the day was spent with you both cuddling, eating, and (re)watching your favorite movies amongst many kisses.

And that’s how you both made up after every fight.

You struggled to come to terms with the fact that the same guy you used to watch Lady and the Tramp with was now pointing a gun at your forehead.

In his defense, you were doing the same thing.

“You know what?”

“What?”

“I’ll count to three, and we pull the trigger at the same time when I reach 0.”

You didn’t know how to feel about that suggestion — it made too many things real.

You were going to die.

He was going to die.

You’d be the reason he died.

He’d be the reason you died.

You didn’t want to continue living after this. You didn't want to live holding the huge guilt of having murdered the sweetest guy on the planet. At this point, you were struggling to hold back tears.

“Sure.”

You steadied your arm, and he copied your action.

“3…”

The first day you both met.

“2…”

The day he asked you to be his girlfriend.

“1…”

Life while dating him.

“0.”

The day you both broke up.

The loud bang of your gunshot echoed throughout the alley, the rain accentuating it. The sound overpowered the clang of his gun falling to the ground, and his soft words.

“Y/N…I can’t. I can’t kill you. I still love yo-”

You opened your eyes and froze.

How did you just do that?

He should’ve killed you, you were dea-

Your eyes fell upon Jay’s body in front of you.

There was a hole in his forehead, and blood was trickling out of it. His eyes were rolled to the back of his head, and you could only see the whites. There he lay, limp and lifeless.

And it was all your fault.

Then it hit you.

He didn’t shoot. 

He broke yet another promise.

You kneeled in front of him, letting yourself cry. You cradled him close just like how you used to whenever he had a bad day and you would comfort him.

“Jay…Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Why-Why didn’t you shoot?! Bastard, how do you want me to live now that you’re gone! You piece of- of absolute shit! I loved you, I love you and I will- simply continue to love you, and-and it’s going to hurt ‘cause you’re not here, damn it!”

You held him close, your salty tears mixing with his blood.

You couldn’t do it.

You couldn’t continue life knowing you were the reason he died.

You remained in that position, Jay’s body in your arms. Your warm hand gripped his cold one. It was weird how it still gave you comfort.

Your eyes darted around, before focusing on his gun in the pool of blood. You took it, deciding to finish his mission for him, not minding the red liquid staining your hand.

His gun was now on the side of your head.

“I love you, Park Jongseong.”

Another loud bang echoed in the alleyway.

[thecontainerstoreofficial]

long post after cut, not a vent just love life update and also a question for those who are better at this than i am….

okok so basically i ran into an acquaintance from college 2 saturdays ago who i always thought was kind of cute if a little out of my league and we always vibed super well in conversation….we mostly saw each other in group settings through a mutual friend. but when we ran into each other randomly he DMed me afterward on instagram and expressed interest in catching up in person!! and then we proceeded to DM for the next week talking abt random geek stuff + work, at some point i gave him my number so we could text instead.

(also for context the few times we’ve hung out in groups i was openly involved with someone or other at the time, but the fact that he’s reaching out individually now makes it feel like he checked my instagram after seeing me and saw that i had removed all of the photos of my ex-boyfriend and then decided to reach out….)

soooo basically last night after us texting for around a week and a half i asked if he wanted to hang out this weekend or next. and he’s suggested sunday dinner. does this have date vibes??? hes been very receptive and he was the one to reach out initially, but since then i’ve been the one making the moves (ie moving us to text versus DM and now me suggesting a concrete timeframe for us to hang irl….)

it all feels kind of datey but honestly ive been in situations before where it FELT datey but i was the one making all the moves and then it turned out the other person wasnt interested and it only felt datey bc of my own efforts. especially since we’re both recent grads so maybe hes lonely and just looking to make friends that are still in the area since some people moved away after graduating?? like its confusing bc dinner feels like a good sign but i also feel like sunday is the least sexy day of the week 🤔

sorry for the boytalk lol im just out of practice and usually its easier understanding the vibe when u meet people off of hinge or whatever bc that means that they inherently are romantically inrterested in u. meeting organically means this extra step to dating where you have to figure out if its even a date at all!!

[green-wiv-envy]

What went wrong with Depop

I remember the first items I bought on Depop. It was back in 2017, actually before I had developed an interest in sustainability. I had just dropped out of university and was working part-time at a local pub. It wasn’t a great time in my life to say the least.

It became a bit of an outlet. For a shopaholic like me, branded items being sold for a fraction of their original price was a no-brainer, and was pivotal in getting me over my aversion to second-hand clothing.

I would see items in shops and think to myself “I’ll just wait six months and buy it for cheap on Depop”. It’s how I got my Topshop Hurricane snake print boots. It saved my hide when I bought some ASOS shoes in the wrong size and then they ran out of the right size, only to stumble across them later on the app.

I didn’t just use it to purchase high street items; Depop was the first time I dipped my toes into the waters of vintage clothing and I found some real bargains on there (although the stench of stale cigarette smoke on the floral maxi skirt I ordered still remains in my nostrils to this day). I found a genuine leather white mini skirt and a Burberry trench (although perhaps that should be third-hand as the seller had purchased it from a vintage clothing store).

I personally never sold on Depop, as I found it was only really the sellers who committed to selling their items (and usually keeping a steady flow of new stock) or those whose items adhered to a tightly curated aesthetic. The layout of Depop is very similar to that of Instagram, and having items in the same style, colour or brand is pleasing to the eye and increases the likelihood of shoppers following the seller (and thus receiving notifications of new items to sell). This approach was much more successful than the sellers with eclectic mix that honestly represented the cast-offs of their wardrobe. Many of the items I bought were a casual seller’s first ever sale, despite usually having around a dozen on offer.

This was not a problem in the beginning- at least not from a shopper’s perspective anyway. But it was a sign of troubles to come.

Those who realised there was money to be made by reselling second-hand items sourced from charity shops (not an inherently wrong thing in my opinion, but a somewhat controversial in sustainability circles online due to the allegation that this denies low-cost clothing to those in a local community who most need it) went into overdrive, hiking up their prices.

The magic word was ‘y2k’, a banner under which anything could be sold for £20 and above, creeping close to the original RRP or sometimes surpassing it!

The app became increasingly challenging to navigate. For maximum visibility sellers would list just a blurb of tags regardless of whether they were relevant; a Topshop skirt manufactured and sold in 2013 could simultaneously be tagged ’90s’ and ’00s’ when the skirt itself frankly bore no resemblance to the clothing of either decade. Brand names would just be used for the sake of increasing their chances of appearing in search results. The rise of even faster fashion brands in the late 2010s became increasingly omnipresent, lowering the overall quality of the items on sale.

So when Vinted launched in the UK, I immediately signed up. At the initial stage the app was pretty glitchy; it would only show a few dozen items and then was unable to download more and at one point was entirely in French. But it soon came to find its footing and since then has firmly established itself amongst young people in the UK. I erroneously assumed that Vinted was a relatively new company, but actually it was founded in Lithuania in 2008 and has since expanded into over a dozen other countries.

It would be fantasy to pretend that Vinted is a shining city on the hill- Shein and its ilk are arguably just as prevalent as they are on Depop (with the small caveat that sellers aren’t charging nearly as much) but its search engine and filters are much better than Depop’s. The layout of the website and the range of items sold bear more resemblance to the early days of eBay (before it became an Amazon copycat dominated by mass-produced new items sold by large companies). I also suspect it will follow a similar trajectory to Depop, starting out as a cheap, sustainable and user-friendly platform that is ultimately undone by its popularity, with sellers asking for unreasonable items for low-quality products leading to a migration to whatever new reselling platform senses an opportunity. But for now, I enjoy Vinted as much as I once did Depop (and perhaps more than is good for my bank account).

[sorry-imma-scorpio]

anyway, don’t be a stranger :)

It’s a rant :)

I think I have read Solitaire by Alice Oseman a good 20000 times by now. 

You can’t blame me though, it is an amazing piece of literature and I seem to have found solace in its tragic storytelling. 

It has been a while since I’ve posted anything, no one has read it, but is that really the point? I just seem to exist on this plane and yeah. I found an analysis I did of “The World Is Ugly” by My Chemical Romance, total red flag. 7th grade me was an absolute trainwreck. 

I spend 4ish hours a couple weeks ago on my ranking of Taylor Swift’s albums, and my big three are Speak Now, 1989, and Folklore. Not surprising - I grew up on Speak Now, 1989 was a major gift to 10 year old me, and Folklore is my comfort album honestly.

Honestly, I’m considering just putting my name on this blog, make it more personal. Why not? We’re all going to die at some point, might as well name my own diary that’s floating through space and time.

I want to dye my hair dark, it’ll be the second ever time in my 18 years of existence that I have dyed my hair.

My best friend graduated high school this last weekend. I’m so proud of her.

I am always nauseated but I can’t tell if thats because of my F in French or my long-lasting duel with diet culture and societal pressures.

The current song in my Delta-complimentary-headphones is Friend, Please by Twenty One Pilots for no other reason than middle school nostalgia and I am attempting to be an academic weapon (I graduate in less than 20 days and I am having a breakdown about it).

I think that my English teacher is going clinical- she is actually having us use ChatGPT to create a fiction story. Is that not what Hollywood is currently striking? The use of AI in the world of Creative Arts? It’ll be okay, Kai Stormrider (the guardian in this AI-generated mess) will guide me to a hopeful A- at the end of the semester. 

Middle school me would absolutely bully Senior year me for using tumblrdotcom to procrastinate a French assignment that I am literally using google translate for. But hey *shrug* we’re on a floating rock.

I accidentally told one of my ?friend’s? that she dumbs herself down for her boyfriends, but I meant she chooses dumb boys to fall head-over-heels for.

I think she’s going to block me.

In Instagram group chats, I send similar messages to this, but I get told that they are “schizophrenic monologues”... can they not just be me recapping the conversation you asked for a recap on? Must it always be something that requires a diagnosis?

I feel like I should be crying as I write this, but I can’t.

My crying wrapped that I have on Google Forms sits unused this evening, with a total of 36 cries so far that I can remember having this year. It has been 142 days since the year has started. I have spent 25% of this year crying. I thought it was less.

The song has changed- it is now March to the Sea, also by Twenty One Pilots. 

I think Tori Spring was written for me. About me. To me. I feel so similar to her it’s crazy. 

Why do we just write out the full words of “I can not” instead of “I can’t” when we write about period pieces - they used other words. “I mustn’t” for example, still a conjugation, but they used it.

I started another chapstick today. Not because I ran out of my other, but simply because I lost it.

I’ll find it some day. Will I find myself in the way I will inevitably find my vanilla Burt’s Bees?

Life is a bitch.

Hozier played. Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene.

I still haven’t listened to francesca.

I have told my ?friends? about this account, how I use it to cope. But none of them care. A snap back here, a laugh, a text left on read.

Last weekend, I went on a vacation from school for a bit. To go see my best friend as she graduates from high school. It was nice to feel wanted.

I start nearly every line with an I. 

I should be more creative.

“I Wish You Would” by Taylor Swift.

What would you wish for?

I don’t know what I would wish for. A break? A trip? An A in the French class I am still procrastinating?

My girlfriend already went to sleep. I love her so much, just everything she does. I feel bad that I feel like this, but I can’t just tell her. We’re long distance so she would worry and I can’t do that to her - I know that is a whole anxious-avoidance style or whatever. But IDK. I don’t want to stress her out or worry her, so I stay the happy, sunny, golden retriever girlfriend.

The Nick Nelson to her Charlie Spring.

She knows I have shit going on in my life, in my mind, but not as much as I really do deal with.

still not crying

Got some Panic!, MCR, and now Scott Street by Phoebe Bridgers. 

“do you feel ashamed?”

I have 22 missing assignments, and even less days to make them up. I’ve mentioned that.

I’m going to procrastinate later. Tomorrow. I sign up for where I sit for graduation.

yay.

you are loved,

scorpio (kind of)

[itsgeecheebitch]

Ugh, I honestly hate that my dopamine receptors are so used to me going on Facebook.

I managed to detach myself from twitter. I stopped going on Instagram. And I stopped listening to Black manosphere, "alpha male", red pill, male/female power dynamics bs podcasts(I was trying to understand how men think at one point in my life. And I was also trying to understand, in what ways, Black women have hurt Black men. As a Black woman, I am aware of the many ways Black men have and do hurt Black women, but I never heard their side of the story, hence why I started frequenting straight Black male dominated spaces and gawd, it's a terrible place. )

But for some reason I have yet to unplug from Facebook and I really need to because the bullshit I see on there frustrates me so much.

As toxic and nonsensical Tumblr can be sometimes, at least I don't have to deal with the toxic gender war mayhem while I'm on here. And I would much rather spend most of my social media time on here than on other platforms, I'm very unlikely to interact with the discourse that goes on, on here.

Only problem, I feel like a lonely island on here. I dont get that much interactions on here, whereas on Facebook and Twitter I receive a lot of interactions with different people so it makes me feel like I am apart of an online community.

But the toxicity is just raising my blood pressure. Example, a male influencer posted a post about Black fathers with Black daughters who disparage Black women online and how they would affect their daughters if they were to come across his posts. Tell me why there were Black men in the comment section saying that Black women are the bottom of the barrel, we are only good for fucking and dumping, we are rude and undesirable. Others were saying that his words(as a theoretical father to a Black daughter) as a father does not apply to his Black daughter so long as she does not grow up to become the type of Black women he hates.

In another post, I was told that a man's DNA from his semen exists forever inside of a woman's vagina(which isnt true) that her body contains the DNA of every man she has ever slept with and that their DNA will affect any baby she conceives(causing the baby to be born with the DNA of other men, which, again, is not true). The poster used this misconstrued unscientific babble as a reason why Black men should not date, respect, or marry any Black woman who was "ran thru". And according to a lot of Kevin Samuel, Jason Black, alpha male, manosphere, redpill bros, the vast majority of Black women, especially those from America, are "ran thru hoes".

And if a Black woman decides she is tired of this bullshit and becomes a feminist as a result then all of a sudden she is considered a hater of Black men. Someone who doesn't actually care about Black people or Black boys and is actively working against the welfare and needs of the Black community.

And god forbid this same Black woman decides to get into an interracial relationship.

I remember I was denigrated on facebook, and my boyfriend also broke up with me, all because I simped over Geralt of Rivia and called him zaddy(around the time I was unaware of the connotations surrounding that word, especially when a Black woman uses it to describe a non-Black man)

I'm just tired of the toxicity. I'm tired of the sexism. And according to alpha males and their enablers (such as Sharazad Ali) sexism does not exist in the Black community, Black women are just "hoes" and "Black male haters" who are afraid of accountability.

I just feel like I need to unplug from everything. I need to distance myself from people who spout this garbage(even if they're family members). I just wish I mastered the art of not giving a shit, especially about what people think. But it's easier said than done. Like most people I do care about what people think, it's literally hardwired into human DNA to care about what people think. In hunter gatherer society, if people didn't like you or thought badly of you, they left you to die. So it became imperative for your survival to become likeable or at least tolerable. And even tho we aren't hunter gatherers anymore we still very much think like them.

Sigh, I just need a vacation from the Black woman hating bullshit

[andybondurant]

New Post has been published on Andy Bondurant

New Post has been published on https://andybondurant.com/2023/03/21/habit-hint-3-treat-yoself/

Habit Hint #3: Treat Yo’Self

Hearing God is a habit. We like to think of it as some sort of esoteric, spiritual exercise. Hearing God is not a random, happenstance occurrence. We put ourselves in specific places in specific ways to hear God. These ways will vary for each of us, but it is a habit none the less.

The last two weeks, I’ve introduced you to two different habit hints to help you create a regular way to hear God daily.

The first is to determine the Who before the Do. You need to know who it is you desire to become. When you have that picture in mind, then you know what it is you need to do, and why it is you want to continue to do it.

Second, you want to start small – let your habit begin as a seed. In practical terms, I call this the 2 Minute Commit. Develop your habit of hearing God through small commitments of reading scripture, meditating and praying two minute at a time.

So today, I want to introduce you to the third and final habit hint – Treat Yo’Self.

Parks and Rec

One of my family’s favorite television shows is Parks and Rec starring Chris Pratt and Amy Poehler among others. The show is a political satire about a small town parks and rec department. Two of the characters, Tom and Donna, are both a little diva-ish who like the better things in life. In one episode, Tom and Donna determine one day out of each year is their Treat Yo’Self day. 

Image by Jenna Day on UnSplash

If you don’t already have a picture in your mind of what that mean, let me fill you in. On that day, they visit the spa for massages, manicures and pedicures. They head to the mall to buy the things they want – no matter the cost. The eat at the finest restaurants, sparing no expense. 

They treat themselves – no matter what the cost may be – for that day. 

Treat Yo’Self

I’m not suggesting you cut loose one day a year, however, I am encouraging you to use this concept to help you develop habits in your life. The idea is to find rewards that will reinforce and encourage the habits you want to develop in your life. Let me give you two quick examples:

Habit Hint: Elliptical Energy

When I began working out a few years ago, I tried to walk/run on the treadmill or elliptical to music. I would pick out the most uptempo music that I could find and run along with it. It helped to give me energy and boost my mood as I ran, but honestly, it wasn’t something I would look forward to preparing for my workout.

At some point, I noticed other people toting along their iPads with them as they worked out. I noticed they were watching movies and television shows as they ran, and it hit me — this is the encouragement I’ve been looking for. Now, I pull out my phone, click on the Netflix app, and pull-up a sitcom. Over the past few years, I’ve worked through Seinfeld, The Office, Parks and Rec, parts of Cheers, Frazier and now the Simpson’s. 

It has become a reward for me to look forward to as I work out on the elliptical or treadmill machines. 

Habit Hint: Media Blitz

That is my workout routine. What about my habit to hear God? 

5-6 mornings a week, I wake up between 6 and 6:30 to practice my habit of hearing God. My day begins something like this:

alarm goes off.

Get up and take care of the dog (feed, bathroom, etc)

Make coffee.

Begin reading scripture

In that 10-15 minutes I’m taking care of my dog and waiting for coffee, I really want to check out the latest news on my phone. I want to check the ESPN app for what’s happening in the sports world. I want to check Google News for the latest on the world stage. Sometimes I want to scroll through my Instagram to see what I’ve missed from my friends. 

I save that for a reward for fulfilling the habit of putting myself in a place to hear God. I read, pray, meditate, journal. After 30-45 minutes of this practice, I allow myself the reward of checking out the media apps on my phone.

First Things First.

I put the most important habits first in my life. Then I give myself space to indulge in the less important habits.

One important note: When you choose a reward for fulfilling the habit you want in your life, make sure it doesn’t undermine the habit you want to build. 

In other words, don’t make your reward for working out an ice cream sundae each day. Or don’t reward yourself with several hours of media — this will teach you to listen to the media but not God.

What can you reward yourself with for putting the most important habits first in your life? 

[crackedlemonade]

Tommy Oliver: Time Lord

Sunday night, I write about how Zordon shouldn't be trusted and Monday I wake up and check instagram to find out that the actor Jason David Frank passed away on Saturday. It seemed so out of nowhere and it was just wild to see that such a thing. I remember running home from school to watch Power Rangers in the early 90's having all the figures, taking my Red Thunder Zord and Green and Yellow rangers to school and then the teacher taking those figures and never giving them back. Yup straight up robbed as a whatever age you are in Kindergarten, by a teacher nonetheless but that is not why I am writing this post.

Tommy Oliver was genuinely the best character in Mighty Morphin Power Rangers by far. He also happens to be the most fleshed out character of the franchise in terms of background story. However it takes up until Power Rangers Zeo for the character of Tommy to be fully developed. Honestly I don't think it was intentional character development and I will briefly explain why. In the episode return of an old friend all of the Power Rangers parents get kidnapped and the rangers give up their Power coins. All except for Tommy, who was written off the show prior and gave his power coin to Jason as Rita's Green Candle siphoned away his powers. Tommy Returns and is able to get some more juice out of the Power Coin before they completely ran out of Japanese Green ranger footage and shelfed him again. I bring up this episode because Tommy doesn't have parents and nobody acknowledges it. Skip forward a couple seasons to when Master Vile turned them into kids we find out that Young Tommy has some connection to Native Americans in his quest to the Zeo Crystal. This all culminates in Power Rangers Zeo where they have an episode where Tommy meets his brother and we find out that their parents passed away and his brother was raised by Native Americans. The spacing of these events is so far apart I don't think these were intentional plot points.

So why am I calling Tommy a timelord? In Return of the Green Ranger Tommy is cloned by a wizard Rita summons from a lock of Tommy's hair. The problem with this is after this three part episode the wizard is defeated but the clone Tommy is still alive. Tommy doesn't want to destroy his clone so he leaves him to live a normal life in the 1700's. This man just leaves a clone of himself to exist in a different time period and it's never mentioned again. During this same season after this happens Kimberly gets sent back in time to the 1800's or the Wild West for the episode Wild West Rangers. In this episode, a character that looks like Tommy appears and helps fight with the Power Rangers and his name is The White Stranger. Was that Tommy's actual ancestor? Was it the child or grandchild of Tommy's clone? We will never know. We know that it wasn't Tommy's clone because he would have remembered Kimberly and 90's shows weren't written with continuous story threads like that in mind.

I will end with giving a few words of the actor as well. He's iconic, he made mine and thousands of other's childhoods. He embraced the fandom so much too. I remember back in 2007 that he would go skydiving with fans. He created his own ranger after being five other colors. He will be missed. Thank you so much Mr. Jason David Frank.