#// this was a weird interaction but I hope you have a good day regardless!!

[ofcrossrcads]

Why would you spend so much money on this hellsite? It's a waste of money and a total rip off. There's better things to spend your money on than scams.

idk what to tell you my dude (gender neutral), I like the rainbows.

[yandere-sins]

Just read your yandere!Ghost HCs and I am absolutely in love!! What are your thoughts on a shared darling between an all yandere!task force 141? Do you think it will make Ghost less possessive cause he doesn't have to worry about protecting their darling all the time or even more so cause he has to share? 🤔 Also curious about the other members interacting both with their darling and each other.

You're an amazing writer and I love all of your works so much!! Have a lovely day!! ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for your request! ♥ I only did the core members I know of and about, hope that's alright!

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Price

♡ John has undisputed dips on you in this dynamic. He doesn't take the active role of caretaker for you, but he gets to hold you first after a mission, be the first to kiss you, and ask if you've eaten and if you were good while he was gone. He's the one giving orders concerning you after consulting with the others, and he's the one to cozy up to if you really want to better your living situation, even though he doesn't easily fall for tricks. You'll have to behave in front of him because the punishments he orders are all the harsher. Putting you into your place never feels more bittersweet than when he gives you both carrot and stick to remind you of your position by his side. That you are nothing without him. That you need him. But as long as you indulge him a little whenever he asks for it, his presence in the group isn't much trouble to you.

♡ Price mostly hands over taking care of you to the boys, laughing when he jokes about "being too old" to clean up after you. But he has that authority no one can argue against. If he wants you in his bed for the night, the others won't complain as they send you to his room, and if he dislikes your attitude, he'll treat you like a rookie soldier in need of some discipline—just without professionalism holding him back. But it's so easy to get along with him if only you let down your pride a bit. When you catch him watching you across the table, get up from whoever's lap you are on and climb on Price's. Allow him to knead your thighs and ass while you cuddle against his chest, and you'll have this grown man melt with affection for you. And when he asks whose bed you want to share that night, never hesitate to ask for his. If he doesn't want to, he'll send you away anyway, but showing him how devoted you are will earn you lots of browny points that might help you out of more complicated situations with the others. Price never forgets what you do—neither good nor bad.

Soap

♡ Soap is, undoubtedly, the social butterfly of the group, and you are his unwilling victim. He so loves to hang out with you, every bit of attention going straight to his ego. Then again, he's also your best bet when it comes to food, bathing, and other basic needs that you want met from your captors. He's the easiest to ask for anything because he wants your attention desperately and will try to fulfill your wishes like a dog trying to impress his owner. He's also your main chaperon around base, gladly escorting you to the kitchen, the bathroom, or wherever the rest of the group is. If no one else claims you for the day or night, his room is basically yours, and you are often collected from it, as John will claim all your time and your sanity if left unchecked.

♡ Regardless, behind all the smiles and jokes, he's definitely the most obsessed. You'll find him wide awake, watching you sleep at night or licking your cutlery after you eat. There have been no fewer than three times that he didn't accompany you into the shower, taking advantage of you whenever he can. It's hard to look into his eyes sometimes, wide open and swirling with madness while he watches you, always right there to catch you when you fall. Soap will gladly lick the blood off your wounds if he's not pulled away by the collar of his shirt. King of not caring what the others think, he's not even realizing how weird he's being, but you know. You know what he does with your underwear at night. You know the crazed rambles he whispers into your ear when he thinks you're asleep. You wholeheartedly believe he's tempering with your food sometimes, and you know there's hell to pay if you make him snap. John will take a lot of screaming and fighting back. However, you still have bruises from the last time his composure cracked, and no amount of him kissing them better helps to forget the way he can and will crack your skull on a wall if you defy him one too many times.

Ghost

♡ The reality is that Simon profits greatly from the arrangement but isn't too keen on it. He'll tolerate it; watch quietly as everyone else salivates over you. But nothing can convince him that any of the guys are better for you than he is. Even if he gives in to Price's authority, Soap's efforts, and Roach's right to you, doesn't mean he thinks they should have you. He's known for stealing you out of beds and sometimes kidnapping you to someplace the others won't find right away to get some undisturbed alone time. However, being with him is terrifying. You won't be able to relax, your heart pounding against your ribcage when you're with him. After all, it's Ghost, and he's a big, unpredictable meanie, at least in your opinion.

♡ Doesn't help that he's usually the one to diffuse any problems the others have with you before taking you with him and giving you the punishment you'll feel for the next few days. The others trust him to do the right thing, to make you obedient and sweet again. And he does, most of the time. There's only so much pain and torture you can endure. But he's also the one to mend your wounds and patch you up, gently asserting authority over you when you get fussy while he helps you stay alive after one of the others caused havoc on your body. You told him so many times you wanted to die, and he was the one to soothe you, hold you until you fell asleep. Sometimes, you think about thanking him. But then you remember his other side, the one that enjoys your pain, enjoys your dependency on him. The Ghost that loves cornering you against walls and kissing you breathlessly while you struggle, the one that broke and put your ankles into casts after you tried to run away. The shadow that is always there to remind you to play nice but who never rewards you in return. He must love you, somewhere, deep inside his shrewd brain. But you hate him with every fiber of your being. He's your worst nightmare, enemy, the bastard of the group. And your savior, protector, and most devoted lover at the same time.

Roach

♡ Gary is the yandere that you want to get along with. Who you actively try to pull on your side against the others, thinking he'd give you some leniency and compassion. After all, he ensures you get what you need when everyone else is too busy fawning over you. He brings in the goods to play with you, and makes you little gifts that you know are from him but he never claims your thanks. Roach is the last escape when you're in for another punishment, and you gladly disregard the fact that he's turning a blind eye to what his mates are doing if it means escaping whatever Soap or Ghost are planning to do with you. He's the eery presence at your back, his eyes always drilling into you, but his hands never forcing you towards him. He feels safe. Safer than anyone else, at least. But still waters are deep, and you don't know how you and his delayed gratification affect him.

♡ You are in for a rude awakening when you run to him, beg him to help you, and plead with him to make the others stop. Suddenly, his hands are all over you, and you are pulled into his lap, tightly secured in his arms, face burying into the crook of your neck as he breathes you in. It feels like you're imprisoned in his grasp, your body crushed between his and his arms. He's patient, always laying in wait for you to come to him, so when you do, you are all his. No one dares to disturb him when he traps you against him. The others might sigh and groan but will retreat and give him the time he's owed, considering he never asks for it. And Roach plans to use his time with you wisely, give you all the attention and care he's been holding back or doing in the shadow. You'll belong to him all night long without a second to breathe while he devours you, devotes all his love to you. You'll only be given back once he's done smothering you in suffocating adoration, leaving his marks all over you, and making you thoroughly regret the trust you put into him to help you and protect you. He's just as bad, if not worse than the others, and he'll gladly lure you into the fake sense of safety again with his presence and subtle touches that will keep them away as no one knows when Roach is ready to claim you again. Now that he had a taste, it's hard not to want more...

[luveline]

Hey jade, I hope you had a good Christmas,

Love your writing so much it brings me so much serotonin 🤣🤣 I have a request for hotch if you’d be up to it, I just love this man’s patience and understanding and would love to see him interact with reader who struggles with sex? Or just sexual stuff in general, like maybe she feels really embarrassed about it and doesn’t know how to talk about it with him? Idk if this is something you’d be interested in just thought I’d throw it out there. Regardless, I can’t wait to see what you post next ♥️♥️♥️

hotch lends you some comfort when a certain topic flusters you, 1.1k

cw adult themes, mdni 

“It's almost cheaper to have kids.” 

You scoop your gaze from the deodorants. “What?” you ask, looking first to Hotch, and then to his eyeline. “Oh.” 

The grocery store boasts a few rows of contraceptives. Condoms, dental dams, and under that, lubes and stimulants in candy rainbow colours. Thirty one ninety nine for silicone-free, aloe vera flavoured lube. Twenty seven for o-gel. 

You avert your gaze without fact-checking him on the condoms, laughing awkwardly as your heart races. “Right.” 

“I'm kidding. Just feeding Jack is a surprising expense.” He says surprising like it's delightful. “Good thing we have cushy jobs.” 

Oh, he's feeling funny tonight. Your laugh is authentic as he takes your arm, the basket in his other clinking as he starts forward again. You finish your quick stock up and Hotch pays for your things despite your protests, packing you and the bags into his ‘cushy’ car. 

You're a little embarrassed in the passenger seat. Your relationship with Hotch is complicated in that while you're in the official early days, you pined for a long time. You're undoubtedly in love with him, and though he's your boss and your senior, he seems to have taken a similar liking to you, hence another chilled out date night upon his invitation. And you've you've messed around like teenagers with kisses too hot and hands wandering, but you haven't fucked, and it's a problem, because your usual awkwardness around the subject grows bigger the longer you wait. 

Hotch can wait forever if he wants, you're not trying to rush him. If he wanted to fuck you tonight you'd probably be too nervous anyhow. 

You can't talk about condoms. How are you going to cope when you have to use one? 

Your stomach churns the longer you think about it. Hotch doesn't react at first, but you know he's figured you out when he covers your hand atop your knee and gives it a squeeze. You okay?

“Can we turn on the radio?” you ask. 

His hand lifts away slowly. He turns on the radio, and you think, oh, he's mad. No, not mad. Irritated, maybe, or confused. That's not fair to him. You think it anyway, sick to your stomach as he parks in the parking garage under his building and you make your way up. 

He doesn't pull any punches —as soon as you're inside with your shoes off and the door locked, he puts the groceries on the counter and looks at you until you meet his eyes. 

“I'm sorry,” he says. 

“What for?” you ask, startled. 

“I made you uncomfortable. I didn't mean to imply anything before you're ready.” He's handsome like this, earnest, his eyebrows raised and an inviting palm held open on the counter beside him. “It was a poorly judged joke.” 

“No, no, I,” —you bring a hand to your mouth, cover it, uncover it— “don't mind if you want to joke about it. It would be weird to care, right?” 

He hears an insecurity in your tone you don't mean to reveal, and he pieces it together swiftly. Understanding lines his eyes. “I don't think so,” he murmurs. 

You're embarrassed beyond words, but he is your boyfriend. He asked with a little expensive bracelet and your favourite baked treat from the bakery near work. You'd only ever mentioned it once, but he remembered. He knows you well, and he's never given you reason to be afraid of his reactions. 

“It's just so embarrassing,” you mumble, staring down at your socks. 

“What is?” he asks, crossing the kitchen to take your hands. “You don't have to be embarrassed about anything, you're perfect.” 

Your breath catches, your neck cracking uncomfortably as you look up. “I– I don't know how to talk about it. I know it's childish.” 

“No, it's not. It's a big thing, and it comes naturally to some people, but not everyone.” His brow furrows a little, the warm depth of his voice working to unspool the tight panic you'd been clinging to, “I'd never push you to do something you're not ready for.” 

“I know that. It's not you. And I don't know if I'm ready or not, it's just–” Your face is hot enough to boil rain. You shake your head. It's too difficult to explain. 

Hotch ushers you into his solid chest. “It's okay,” he says, patting your back gently. “Don't worry about it.” 

“I want us to be like everyone else,” you confess. 

“We are. You're not the first woman to get nervous about the idea of intimacy, sweetheart, I promise. And I'm not the first man to make a bad joke about contraceptives.” He laughs as you laugh, two huffing chuckles as he presses his lips to the top of your head. “You can take as much time as you need to get used to the idea, and if it's still weird when you're ready, does it matter? We'll be weird about it together. Or we won't be. Okay?” 

“Yeah, okay… thank you, Aaron.” 

“I waited a long, long time for this,” he says, giving your back a pointed little squeeze. “And it's more than I ever thought I'd get. I'm not worried about the rest. I'm in no rush, and you shouldn't be either.” 

You hide your face in his chest for a while, somehow more embarrassed than when you'd started. He draws lines up and down your back with his palm patiently. “It's okay,” he says again, kissing the side of your face. After a moment, he encourages your head back with a hand on your cheek, checking your expression carefully before leaning in for a kiss. His hair tickles your forehead. 

To your relief, it doesn't make you nervous. He probably never could, not when he's touching you so softly. 

You're feeling a hundred times better when you pull away. A tad mortified still, but relieved to know your struggle with talking about it isn't a turn off. If he can stick with you through this bump in the road, you can try, at least, to overcome it. 

“Is lube really thirty two dollars?” you ask in a whisper. 

“I don't know. I've never needed it.” 

He spends the next ten minutes laughing and apologising sincerely as steam pours out of your ears. 

[midnighthazee]

Greenridge ABO Series

a/n: I hope my lovely Greenies had a good Thanksgiving! I didn't write as much as I wanted to over the break but I still managed to get this chapter written! Enjoy!

Series Masterlist Masterlist

Warnings: a little bit of explicit language, pabo behavior

WC: 3931

Chapter 13

It had been a week. Seven days since Reed said he would take you back to Greenridge. Everytime you brought it up, he gave an excuse. He had work, his drivers were resting, he was waiting on visitors, blah blah. Last night, he left for a business meeting at HA headquarters without a word. 

Now you were bored out of your mind, wandering his mansion in the late afternoon. You figured you would be nosy since he left you here. You looked in all the bedrooms, realizing he gave you the nicest one out of all the guest rooms. That’s something…you suppose. You turn the corner out of the living room, nearly bumping into one of his men.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said.

“Sorry,” you mumbled.

He looked strangely familiar.

“Do I know you?” you asked.

“Uh…no.” he said, hurrying off.

Weird.

You proceeded down the hall, opening doors and finding a closet, or a room with priceless artifacts. Some sculptures, vases, and paintings cluttered the room. You moved on, finding a door with a staircase leading down.

Nothing good ever comes from a basement. You thought.

You found yourself walking down the stairs regardless, a few lanterns on the wall illuminating the dark space. You get to the bottom, no rank smells in the air like the basement you lived in. As you continue on, it’s dark. You feel along the wall and find a lightswitch. 

Light flicks on, illuminating the space. You see a kitchenette, a stack of dog bowls, and another door beyond. You open the door slowly, afraid of what’s on the other side. You hear noises as you step in, but from what?

It smells like…like outside or something. Dirt maybe? You proceed farther in the room, noticing glass doors on one side.They looked like cells, just extremely nicer than Lewis’s setup. As you approached, you noticed a shadowed figure inside. You step closer, squinting your eyes.

The figure moves suddenly, banging two paws on the glass and growling. You fall back, screaming and shielding yourself before you realize whatever it was didn’t break free. As you turn back, you realize it was a wolf - a huge wolf. There were several down this hall, a dozen beady eyes looking at you through the glass. You scramble to your feet and hurry out of the room. You get back to the kitchen, only to run into the guy you saw a few minutes ago.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. I’m fine,” You pant. “W-why are there wolves?”

“They are Reed’s night patrol.”

“Night patrol?”

“He lets them out at night and they keep watch of his territory, ensuring no trespassers.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. He finds them more loyal apparently, but I think it’s stupid.” he chuckles.

“You sure we haven’t met before?” you ask once more. There was something about his smile that struck you.

He sighed. “We have.”

“Was it at Lewis’s house?”

“No. Um….it’s me…Hudson.”

You stared in shock. 

“Surprise?” he offered with a shrug and smile.

“But…how? How are you here?”

“He found me after mom and dad died and took me in.”

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

“I was supposed to leave you alone.”

“Why?”

“He just told me not to interact with you. He wouldn’t give details.”

“But…I’m here all alone…without my pack. Why wouldn’t he want me to know I have more family here?”

“I gotta go. And you should go upstairs to have dinner. I’ve seen you skipping meals.”

You look down. “I’m not hungry.”

“Lies. Go eat, y/n.”

Before you can protest or ask another question, he’s off, back upstairs and out of sight. You sigh, heading upstairs too. You didn’t eat, but you did stay in your room and watch tv to pass the time. Oh how you ached for your pack.

“Ugh, something scared her.” Minho grumbles. “I swear if that prick is torturing her…”

“Wouldn’t you feel the pain too?” Changbin asked.

“I guess. Ugh….I don’t know if it’s good or bad to have this connection to her when she’s not within reach.” Minho groans, running a finger through his hair.

“I would say good. You can keep an eye on her.” Hyunjin spoke, not looking up from his sketching.

“I guess. Ji, you find the address yet?” Minho asks, coming over to Han on his laptop.

“I’m almost in. Just another second….done. Let me just locate the files.” Jisung typed frantically on the keyboard.

Within a few minutes, he’d hacked into the HA database and was looking into the Blackmane pack for an address.

“Here we are. Blackmane Pack. Run by an alpha named Reed Kang.” Jisung stated. “Located on 53790 Woodmill Rd.”

“How far are we from that?” Jeongin asks.

“Uh, it looks like…an hour.”

“Great. Let’s move.” Minho says, rising from the motel bed.

The Greenridge pack, accompanied by the Enha pack, drove to the Blackmane Manor. The sun was setting and soon everything was covered by darkness. The roads were scarcely lit, and the houses were very spaced apart. But in less than an hour, they arrived and buzzed the intercom at the front gate.

“What’s your purpose for this visit?” a man’s voice said on the intercom.

“I’m here to see Mr. Kang. It’s an urgent matter.” Minho spoke, eyeing the gate and what he could see of the front lawn.

“Mr. Kang is not present. Please come back tomorrow.”

“Is there no alpha or beta I could speak with in his place?” 

“No. Come back tomorrow.”

Minho groans. He looks at the house, knowing you are here. They back up, driving down the road before parking. He groups up with Enha, suggesting they hop the fence and save you.

“We don’t know how many are guarding the place. If he really isn’t here, he could have left her heavily guarded.” Jungwon’s beta, Jake, said.

“I’m counting on the fact that he would think we know nothing of this place. Or would have taken longer to find it. Let’s go.” Minho explained.

“Min, can’t we think this over?” Changbin suggests.

“She’s in there. It’s like I can feel how close she is.” Minho stares at Changbin.

Changbin backs down, following his alpha. 

They head down the street, finding a good spot to breach. Quickly, they scaled the brick wall and began running through the yard. They made it halfway to the house when a howl rang out into the night.

“Guys…that sounded close.” Felix noted, looking around.

“Oh, shit. Over there. Run!” Sunoo yelled.

They all looked in the direction he pointed, seeing three large figures headed their way. They took off, running quickly back to the wall.

“Spread out, they can’t chase us all.” Heeseung yelled.

In efforts of getting to the wall, they all spaced out, making the wolves distance themselves and lock in on a target. Niki and Heeseung reached first, leaping and climbing over. Hyunjin and Sunoo were next, followed by Jake, Jeongin and Felix. Changbin helped the rest scale the wall, as the wolves closed in.

“Hurry!” Felix and Sunoo yelled from the other side. 

Changbin grabbed onto a vine, pulling himself up. One of the wolves lunged out, grabbing him by the pants leg - their teeth slightly nipping the skin. Changbin tried to pull up, the wolf trying to pull him down. His other leg kicked frantically, fighting off the two other wolves. He managed to kick one in the face before landing a blow to the wolf who had him by the pants.

He heaved himself up and over the wall, falling to the ground in a huff. He sat there a second, catching his breath. Felix was quick to look him over as the others bent down.

“You okay?”

“You good?”

“The teeth marks are shallow. Should heal quickly.” Felix informed.

“I’m alright.” Changbin reached his hands out.

Minho and Jungwon pulled him up to his feet and they all headed back to their cars. Changbin had a slight limp but managed to get there on his own. Minho was cursing himself for not being able to get to you.

“What if we deflect? Cause commotion that draws the wolves attention away, while the rest of us sneak up to the house…” Seungmin suggests.

“We don’t know how many wolves there are. If we don’t get them all in one location, we won’t make it in.” Sunghoon said, leaning against the car.

“How do we figure out how many there are?” Jay asked.

“We could always go back in, run around the yard and hope we can outrun them.” Jisung suggested, earning a glare from several of them. “Or not…”

Meanwhile, you were currently hiding in an alley, checking around the corner before proceeding down the sidewalk. You had managed to sneak out the house before nightfall, claiming you wanted some fresh air. Once you learned about the wolves, you decided you had to make your attempt before nightfall, instead of after. And with Reed not home, you figured today was the day. So you asked to get some fresh air, laying in the grass for a bit, and idling walking around before they finally were distracted enough for you to slip away. The guards were on their phones, not realizing what you were up to. Before they knew it, you were off the property and heading into the local town.

So far, the streets were quite desolate, a few cars driving by here and there. Each one made you tense as you worried it was Reed or his men, hiding into an alley or shadow every time. You also jumped at the howl of wolves heard in the distance. They must be the ones Reed kept at his disposal.

As you walked, you kept your hands tucked under your arms. It was chilly and you regretted not wearing a jacket before running off. It probably would have made it obvious since it was warm before the sun set but you could have made an excuse. 

Turning down a street, you hoped to come across someone, anyone, who could take you home. Or maybe you could at least find a place to stay for the night so you wouldn’t be out in the cool autumn air. You followed the sounds of people and came across a pub. There were loads of people inside, loud and boisterous as they laughed and drank. At least they would probably be too drunk to notice you (or remember seeing you). You head inside, thankful for the warmth and keep your head low. You notice a fireplace off in the back and make your way over there. It was warm and cozy so you settled in at the table next to it.

“Hi, what can I getcha?” a young woman asked, startling you.

“Just water…wait, is water free?” you ask.

The girl chuckled. “Yeah, it’s free.” 

She walked off towards the bar and you focused back on the fire. Within a few minutes, she returned with two drinks.

“This one is on the house. It’s alcohol free.” She smiled, hurrying off to the next table.

You smiled, looking at the beverage. It looked like lemonade, so you took a sip. It wasn’t lemonade, but it was good. You sipped it while warming up by the fire. You looked around at all the people, trying to find someone who could possibly help you. Most of the people in here were big, burly men that were intimidating. They smelled like alphas, at least from what you could differentiate, and that worried you. Were they like Lewis? Or would they be nice and helpful like Chan? 

You finished your drink, now drinking the water as you scoot closer down the bench to the fire.

“Would you like a refill?” the girl asked.

“No. Water is fine.” you force a smile.

“What’s an omega like you doing here all alone?” she asked, whispering as she leaned over the table. 

Your eyes widened.

“I can smell you. And I’m sure I’m not the only one.” she looked over her shoulder briefly. “Be careful, they get handsy when they are drunk. It’s not safe for a little omega like you around here.”

You caught her scent - beta.

“Is there somewhere I should go?” you asked.

“There you are!” A guy’s voice interrupted.

“Hudson?” your brows furrowed. “How did you find me?” 

The girl walked away, but, unbeknownst to you, she kept an eye on you. She could smell a damsel in distress a mile away.

“I figured since you escaped, you came here. A town with people who could possibly bring you home.” He shrugged, sitting next to you. “Was I right?”

You shifted in your seat.

“You need to come back,” he whispered.

“No.”

“Y/n…if Reed finds out you got away, he will come for you.”

“He can try. I need to get back to my pack.” 

“Y/n…”

“He doesn’t own me. I spent thirteen years of my life being trapped. I’m not going back to that.”

“He said he would take you back. Just give him time.”

“Give him time for more excuses? No. He’s your alpha, not mine.” You move to get up, but he grabs your wrist. 

“Please. I just got you back…” he pleaded. 

His voice was sincere, the pain evident in his tone. You had missed him dearly and were happy to have him back in your life. But it wasn’t enough to stay. You couldn’t live with Reed’s pack. You wanted to live at Greenridge - it’s where you belong.

“Come with me.” you say.

“I can’t.”

“Sure you can. I’m sure Chan would let you.”

“I already pledged myself to Reed. I…I can’t…” he looks down sadly.

“I’ll miss you once more.” you say, pulling your wrist from his grip and walking towards the exit.

You nearly get to the door when someone’s arms pull you back, spinning you around.

“Hudson, let-” You started to protest.

“Go out the back. Reed’s men are searching the streets.” Hudson says, nodding his head to the back door.

“Thank you.” you say, embracing him in a hug.

He hugs you back tightly. You pull apart, heading to the back while he leaves through the front.

Out back, you hurry down the alley, peaking around the corner to see Hudson pointing them in the direction opposite of you. They hurry off and you slip down the street in the cover of darkness. It felt even colder now but you pushed on, up the curved hillside.

The street eventually leveled out, only illuminated by the street lamps as you walked. You hugged yourself, pushing through the cold air that bit at your skin. You didn’t know how long you had been walking but your feet were beginning to hurt.

You hadn’t trained with Changbin for long and you were regretting complaining every time. You would sweet talk your way out of it half the days he trained everyone. If you had let him train you, maybe you wouldn’t be struggling so much.

You heard the wolves howling once more, breaking up the silence of the deserted road. Up ahead was an intersection. You noticed a few cars driving through, their headlights briefly illuminating the street ahead. You kept walking, hoping to put as much distance between you and Reed’s men as you could. 

You got to the corner, stopping by the edge of the building. Each direction had an incoming car so you waited for them to pass before crossing the street. You looked ahead, squinting from the bright headlights shining in your direction. The car crossed through the intersection and you stepped to the curb, seeing the car going the opposite direction also pass.

Suddenly, the color red illuminates the road, tires squealing. You freeze, noticing the second car stopped in the middle of the road. It looked like the suv Reed’s men drove as it began to back up. You panic. 

Shit… they found me, you thought.

Looking to the right, you see the sidewalk is clear, an alley not too far up. You take off running, hoping to turn the corner before they see you. You hear tires squealing again, a roar of the engine following. They were speeding up to catch up to you. You pushed your legs faster, fear fueling you. You approach the alley, cutting the corner and running down the dark path. You see a dumpster and quickly duck behind it.

The headlights illuminate the alley and you curse yourself for not being faster. They must have seen you turn down the alley. You wait for them to pass ready to bolt as soon as they do. The car cautiously drives down the alley, slowly passing the dumpster. Taking a few breaths to brace yourself, you pop out from behind and hurry back up the alley towards the street. You’re nearly at the street when a voice calls out.

“Y/N!” 

You freeze.

Slowly, you turn around, seeing two figures walking towards you. It couldn’t be…

“Y/n?” one questioned as you squinted.

“Changbin? Jisung?” you whispered.

As they approached, the street lamps illuminated their faces. You rushed over to them, swinging an arm around each of their necks and pulling them into a hug. They hugged you back tightly and you felt the tears filling your eyes.

“Oh my god you don’t know how relieved we are to see you.” Jisung said, pulling you into his own hug.

“We’ve been looking all over for you. We were about to sneak onto the Blackmane property to rescue you.” Changbin said.

Felix came rushing over, followed by the others. He took you by surprise, lifting you off the ground. You giggle and he puts you down with a pout. “You’ve lost weight.”

You blush, looking to the ground as he looks you over for any physical evidence of abuse on your body. 

“I’m fine, Lixie.” you say.

Hyunjin stands next to Felix, smiling at you. You smile back and he scoops you up, spinning you around. As soon as he puts you down, Seungmin is pulling him off you so he can squeeze you into a hug as well. You look over and see Jeongin smiling at you. You open your arms towards him and he comes over, arms going under yours and lifting you off the ground. You wrap your arms around his neck, relaxing into him. Never did you think you would be so comfortable with an alpha.

Their scents each engulfed you, relaxing you immediately. You were elated, comforted by their presence and grateful to finally be reunited. It had been a long, lonely week without them and you were happy you wouldn’t have to keep running.

Changbin and Jisung are boasting about how they finally have you back, Felix mumbling about how you look like you’ve lost weight. But you weren’t paying them attention, instead walking away from them to approach Minho who was leaning against the trunk observing the whole reunion.

You walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging him tight. Everyone stopped talking of course, watching for his reaction. He had been so cold before you left, beating himself up about hurting you. But right now, you didn’t care. He could give you the cold shoulder tomorrow, but right now you wanted the comfort of your alpha. 

As you press your cheek to his chest, holding onto him as if this was all a dream and he would disappear, he couldn’t help but smile. He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head as he inhaled your scent. His eyes closed as he breathed you in. God he had missed you.

You could feel the bond strengthening, your mark tingling as you both held onto each other. 

“Wait, where’s Chan?” you asked.

“Um…he’s fine. He’s safe. He’s just um…” Minho tried to find the words.

“Is he still at the Hybrid Association? But Hyunjin and Jisung are here?”

“How did you know we were there?” Hyunjin questions.

“Reed told me. Then he took me there but he hurried me out as soon as I gave my statement of what happened with Lewis.”

“You were there?! At headquarters?!” Jisung exclaims.

“Yes.”

“That son of a bitch.” Changbin growled.

“What happened to Chan?”

“It’s complicated…” Minho starts. “He’s being detained.” “For what?!” “Murder.” 

“What? He didn’t kill Lewis. Reed did.”

“He killed Hayes and Milo…”

“Th-they’re dead?”

“Reed didn’t tell you?” Felix asked.

“Not that part…” you shook your head.

“They wouldn’t let us see him.”

“Why not?”

“It’s the law to not murder a fellow hybrid.” Minho explained. “Plus his past…it complicates things.”

“His past?”

“I’ll explain it later.”

“But-”

 Headlights turning into the alley interrupted the conversation. You tensed, noticing the other car.

“It’s alright.” Minho spoke. “It’s one of our allied packs.”

You looked up at him and he smiled at you. His expression was soft as he looked at you, making you blush.

“How’d you find her?” one of the men from the new car asked as he got out.

“She was wandering the streets. We got lucky.” Jisung said.

“Y/n, this is Alpha Jungwon. He’s been helping us.”

“Nice to meet you.” you say, one arm still wrapped around Minho’s waist.

“You too. Glad to see you're safe and unharmed. We were all worried.” Jungwon said with a smile.

“We should probably get out of here.” Changbin noted. “They are probably looking for you.”

You nod.

The eight of you piled into one car, the other pack in the other car. Minho led them back onto the main road, and they got on the freeway, attempting to get far from town before they stopped for the night.

You were sandwiched between Jisung and Seungmin, having fallen asleep on Jisung’s lap during the drive. You hadn’t slept well since being away from home and it was already late at night. Jisung rubbed your head soothingly as you laid in his lap. Felix eyed you from Seungmin’s other side, making sure you were truly okay. Hyunjin and Jeongin were in the way back of the suv nearly falling asleep as well.

Nearly two hours later, Minho decided to stop for the night. They needed to rest up and get some food, so he found a motel to stop at. As everyone shifted to get out of the car, you groaned at being woken up.

“Sorry, y/n. But we are going inside, c’mon.” Jisung said.

You sat up, looking around. You get out, following them up to the rooms. Minho and Jisung decided to share the room with the king bed. The rest of the boys are with you in the other room with two double beds. Jungwon got his pack a couple rooms too and they split up, saying goodnight.

You got into the room, it smelling stuffy and old.

“We will be back home soon. It’s just for the night.” Seungmin placed a hand on your shoulder, offering a smile.

You went to the bathroom, wanting to shower but too tired to do so. Plus you didn’t have a change of clothes. So you just wash your hands and go back into the room.

Changbin pulls you to the bed near the window, insisting you share with him. Jeongin joins in, leaving Felix, Hyunjin, and Seungmin to the other bed closer to the door. Laying between the two of them made you feel so safe and warm, lulling you to sleep rather quickly. The two of them stared at you in awe before they too fell asleep.

TAGLIST:

@estella-novella @lxvxchxrlxttxbxrsx22-blog @butterflydemons @readr1221 @gaby105-skz @notevenheretbh1 @bah2004 @sinfulfic @bowsnbang @just-a-blackthorn-cookie @dreamerwasfound @motheraiya55 @m00njinnie @writeuntilthebitterend @jutdwae-flower @staytinyluv @emmxxsworld @galaxy4489 @wolfo2027 @iknow-uknow-leeknow @thatgirlangelb @fr34k4c1dr41n @stwq2349 @rylea08 @sang-09 @scarlet789 @hxnnielk

Shout out to my lovely beta @cherry-erii

[queer-ragnelle]

Understand is is a very weird question to get out the blue so no offence taken if this gets left in the inbox, but I was wondering how (if at all) to integrate transgender knights into arthurian retellings/adaptations ect while trying to keep it vaguely true to the medievalisms of the whole thing? I know its easy and liberating to just go 'fuck it everything queer' and its a totally valid way to go about it, but (as a trans person) I like having a narrative examine queerphobia and other structual issues with the setting - gives the whole thing a bit of meat (in my personal tastes). That being said, it feels like its a nightmare to try and have a transmasc knight stay stealth in this place! Everyone feels like theyre getting stipped and tended to after breaking a rib in a joust or merlin shows up and is a dick about pronouns and outs you to get you married to a Roman king. Stuff like that - things that feel a little easier to dodge when its a civillian character, not an ruling class.

Is this a 'kill the cop in your brain' kinda deal? As a queer storyteller yourself do you have any tips or strategies or tools you use to crowbar this kinda stuff a little easier together? Or do you know any stories/retellings/academic texts ect that cover these kinda things (even if its in a 'for the love of god, don't do that' way). Love the work you do for this fandom a lot, regardless of your answer! Hope you have a good day.

Hello anon! This is a great question.

Now let me preface this by saying I’m not transgender and I’m not a medievalist. There are plenty of trans medievalists on tumblr, but I’m not one of ‘em. So my answer is coming from a queer but cis author and enthusiast perspective. I'm going to provide lots of links to read things as well so everyone can draw their own conclusions from the material.

I think a large part of this does come down to “kill the cop in your head.” But at the same time, I’ve been exactly where you are wondering, “How can I make this story feel authentic to its era without torturing the trans characters?” Because you’re right, there’s a lot of nudity and close proximity interaction between knights in the medieval stories and Merlin is totally the type to be a dick about pronouns. I've also searched and struggled to find a medieval-set story that manages to incorporate queerness in a period-appropriate way (so far as we can guess) while balancing the narrative as to not tip into something deeply unpleasant for the target audience to read. (See: the series by Lavinia Collins, which has great queer rep, yay! But tons of horrors previously unseen and still unnecessary, boo!) So where does that leave us?

Well first I’m going to give you an example of how not to handle transness in an Arthurian story....

The book Once & Future and its sequel Sword in the Stars by Amy Rose Capetta and Cory McCarthy went with the phenomenon you already described as, “fuck it, everything queer.” It doesn't take place in the past, but does use the medieval stories as more than reference, it's not as divergent as something like Port Eternity by C. J. Cherryh, the reincarnated characters do interact with the past directly at times, so I'm using it as an example.

Anyway most characters are either gay (umbrella term) or trans. Except the way trans characters are treated sucks majorly (in my opinion). I completely lost faith in book 1 after the introduction of Lamorak, a gender fluid knight who uses they/them pronouns. Merlin misgenders them and gets corrected by Kay, to which Merlin does this whole self flagellation routine about. Lamorak is also disabled, missing their left hand. (Why isn't it Bedwyr? Anyway not the point...) Lamorak gets no dialogue here whatsoever, all agency is completely stripped from them regarding their disability and their gender identity. Double whammy.

This is worsened when Percival gets introduced, as Merlin then makes a point of asking for pronoun clarification in the most obnoxious way possible. To which Percival takes no offense at the weird slight against his sibling and tells Merlin his pronouns.

But what about the sequel? Surely these two queer authors improved with time.....

Is this a joke? Is this the best way they could indicate the inclusive realm of Avalon? Why not just describe the women as they are, all shapes and sizes, and let the reader figure it out? The authorial intent would be so obvious by this point. Instead they say it… like that. Gag.

It only gets worse when Mordred is born. Then they're weird about a literal infant.

What in the bio essentialism? If the characters have been living in a future that’s broken out of the gender binary, the baby’s genitals should be irrelevant. Gwen’s literally saying Mordred is going to fulfill the evil prophecy because he was born with a penis. Even if this is intended to be a teaching moment, I hate how it’s handled. These quotes are in order of appearance in the books, so after the subtextual implications of all that came before, this last part really doesn’t sit right with me. Sorry I find these books completely abhorrent. They've won awards, they’re beloved by many. Maybe it's me. But no thanks.

Honestly, so long as you're not blatantly offensive with your handling of such things, I think you'll be fine. It's important to remember that even if one is part of a demographic they're depicting, it's always a good idea to hire sensitivity readers and take that feedback seriously. Not everyone will love your work, there will be advice you don't utilize, with time you'll be able to weed out the bad faith feedback, (the "all depiction is glorification" crowd) and ignore it. But it's so important to open oneself up to constructive criticism so you can learn and your work can develop into the best possible version of itself.

Now let's get to some ways you can go about researching a way to do this that fits in your story. It’s important to remember that throughout human history, many people lived stealth their whole lives and we don’t know about them for that reason, not because no transgender folks ever lived authentically and happily in medieval times. So it’s never impossible to incorporate a trans character into a story who experiences no direct violence, even if the world they live in isn’t presented as a queer utopia. The other thing is that public opinion regarding queerness, cross dressing, etc have varied a lot over the centuries and were vastly different depending on location. Not every “woman” found in armor would have been treated as poorly as Joan of Arc. So there’s lots of wiggle room for interpretation when you go about writing these narratives. The majority of my examples deal with the ruling class so they address the concerns you mentioned with added scrutiny a noble would face if they were to experiment with gender presentation compared to a commoner. I’ll be spoiling the plots of everything on the list to make clear why I’m suggesting them.

My initial advice would be to read medieval literature with queer themes followed by essays on the subject. The best examples I know of are:

Yde et Olive

Transmasc knight (good ending). 12th century French romance. Yde’s mother Clarisse died giving birth to her & later when Yde reaches maturity, her father makes advances, so she disguises herself as a man & flees. Yde becomes a successful knight & is married to the king’s only daughter, Olive. When it comes time to consummate the marriage, Yde must confess the truth of his identity to Olive, who vows to keep it secret. This is overheard by the king who then attempts to uncover Yde’s identity but is stopped by an angel who chastises the king for harassing such a good vassal. Then Yde is transformed into a man, the king dies, & Yde is able to have a child with Olive. They name him Croissant as if it couldn’t get any more French than it already was. Anyway the story alternates pronouns for Yde given the situation which is pretty neat & in the end he gets to live his best life! Yay!

Le Roman de Silence

Transmasc knight (bad ending). A 13th century French romance about a baby girl named Silence. Silence is raised as a boy because King Eban won’t allow women to inherit property. Like many medieval romances, the hero's adventure is often punctuated with personified emotions (Dame Fortune, Lady Love, etc) but Silence is tormented by Nature & Nurture as he comes into adulthood. He becomes a knight & eventually takes on an "impossible" quest, to capture Merlin, which supposedly can only be done by a woman. Content warning for the ending, it does not go well for Silence. Merlin reveals his backstory, & he’s forced to take a feminized version of his name, live as a woman, & marry the king to keep his lands.

Wigalois by Wirnt von Grafenberg

A 13th century German romance that follows Gawain’s son, Wigalois [Gingalain], but this ain’t about him. There’s a character Marine who fights as a knight. She’s consistently referred to with she/her pronouns, but she’s renowned for her knightly virtues & fights alongside the men in the war. She’s treated very well narratively & dies in battle after apprehending a high-value hostage. Everyone mourns her & there’s a big funeral held in her honor. So even if Marine never presented herself as a man the way Yde or Silence do, she provides an example of a female thriving in a male role. Food for thought.

Parzival by Wolfram von Eschenbach

Another German banger from the 13th century. This one’s about a cis male knight but Parzival has transmasc vibes. Trust me. Here’s my favorite article about it called The Clothes Make The Man - Parzival Dressed & Undressed by Michael D. Amey that really illustrates what I mean.

After that, you can check out these retellings:

The Story of Silence by Alex Myers

I bought this but haven't read it yet. It’s a retelling about the aforementioned Le Roman de Silence. This book uses neutral they/them pronouns to refer to Silence, which I can say from experience sometimes causes confusion with readers, so it's good to study how this author did it & determine if that method feels right for you. (If you ever decide to do something like that with a character.)

Spear by Nicola Griffith + Spear's Author's Note

I enjoyed this one, beautiful prose. It didn’t feel like the most comprehensive Grail Quest retelling, but Peretur can be interpreted as a butch lesbian or transmasc, it’s ambiguous. She only uses masculine pronouns when stealth, otherwise using she/her, but it has a happy ending! It’s firmly set in the era & felt authentic on that front while letting the queer characters relax. Peretur isn’t alone. (A/G/L enjoyers keep winning + sapphic lady of the lake ftw + the other hotties Peretur pulled.) Definitely worth checking out.

The Bright Sword by Lev Grossman

This book just came out in 2024. Including it here is already a spoiler given the topic but I’m going to spoil fully from this point on so ignore this if that’s a problem. This is the best example I can give for your reading/writing tastes based on the ask; Dinadan is a trans man. His transness isn’t revealed in the main character Collum’s pov, but in Dinadan’s backstory pov, opening in his childhood. He & his twin brother were sent to different schools but young Dinadan would leave the girl’s school to practice knightly skills with the fay, which retroactively explains why he has a fairy sword that Collum was admiring. In exchange for this training, the fay ask that Dinadan slay Merlin. Which he agrees to while never believing he actually can, but the wrath of the fay in the afterlife is worth his ability to live as a knight. I love how it was all handled firstly because Dinadan has a fighting style that works for his smaller frame & because every knight has a different fighting style (Dagonet’s is “If it sucks hit da bricks.”) Dinadan doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb yet his physicality is accounted for. Secondly Dinadan explains the lengths he goes to in order to stay stealth from obvious ones like binding his breasts to pretending to shave his face every couple days & wearing a packer. Later on, Dinadan’s secrets are revealed when he goes swimming in the ocean with Palomides (who evidentially already knew) & Collum joins them. Collum had no idea, which I think brings up an interesting point about all of this which also reminds me of Gawain not recognizing that Beaumains was Gareth—the power of expectation. Just as Gawain expected to find a kitchen boy & would have no reason to assume his brother (who hit puberty since they last saw each other) would be stealth in the kitchens so therefore didn’t recognize him, Collum expects to find men as knights of the Round Table, so when Sir Dinadan is introduced, & Collum had heard of him before, Dinadan’s stature & high voice don’t register to Collum as anything but traits that this guy Dinadan happens to have. Learning Dinadan’s secret in the presence of another knight who already knows & is chill about it also encourages Collum to be accepting too. So giving Dinadan at least one ally in his corner throughout the story went a long way. In the end Merlin, who can only be killed by a man (which is why Nimue had to settle for sealing him away) is stabbed by Dinadan. So it’s like a reverse Silence/Éowyn situation that Dinadan’s gender is affirmed in his ability to kill Merlin. This book also includes the part from Le Morte d’Arthur where Dinadan’s forced to wear a dress, which in this context is very transphobic, but that’s the point. It’s made better when Dinadan gets to go insano style on Merlin so he gets payback. Just a heads up about that.

Some fantasy/scifi that’s not Arthurian but may help, as Arthuriana is largely fantasy to begin with, this may help you determine where on the spectrum your taste/writing falls regarding the bending of reality/history to fit your narrative.

Orlando: A Biography by Virginia Woolf

1928 novel about a character named Orlando living during the reign of Elizabeth I. Orlando is born male, then at some point in his early adulthood, falls into a deep sleep from which he awakens the exact same person, now metamorphosed to be female. Orlando, for her part, adopts this new role immediately & keeps on moving. She lives for 300 years as such & has many adventures, including an instance where she then presents as a man to elude marriage. Transitioned so she could cross dress in the other direction. She would’ve done numbers on tumblr. Ultimately, Orlando does marry… a gnc sea captain! The success of their marriage is attributed to their similarities in gender non-conformity. Even though this book only remains in the late medieval era for the opening, I think it’s a poignant example of a transgender individual living their life in their time & still getting to enjoy themselves without excessive suffering that may provide lots of inspiration.

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K Le Guin

1970 Hugo & Nebula award winning novel. A fascinating examination of gender from the point of view of a cis man named Genly Ai having to reconcile his interpretation of the gender binary when confronted with a society who operates outside that. His travels with ambisexual Estravan challenges what Ai understands about the universe. His ignorance forms the backbone of the narrative as he grows close to a person from this other society. Even if it’s not a medieval setting, it may help you develop a narrative voice regarding this subject you’re able to bring to your work. Also it’s just really good.

The Privilege of the Sword by Ellen Kushner

2007 Locus award winner, Nebula & Gaylactic Spectrum nominee. High fantasy medieval setting. Katherine is a country girl brought to the big city Riverside by her uncle the Duke where she’s offered the opportunity to train as swordsman (ie cross dress) instead of political marriage. She’s unsure of the reasoning behind her uncle’s motivations for doing this, but goes along with it & kicks ass. A preview is available on Google books (linked).

The Realm of the Elderlings by Robin Hobb

This is my favorite series ever. It spans 16 books published between 1995-2017. The fandom on tumblr & ao3 is hugely active. (Avoid tags to dodge major spoilers or check it out for amazing art & many quotes!) The series has many gnc characters in a fantasy medieval setting. First & foremost, The Fool, who’s in all the books & whose gender ambiguity is mentioned book 1, to which he says, “None of your business.” The character ever. Without getting too specific, there are several trans characters including gender fluid characters who will alternate between masc/fem presentation & pronouns. This is my favorite example of gender fluid characters in any fantasy I’ve read, especially since there are several & each feels unique. In The Liveship Traders trilogy, Amber coaches another woman how to hide her period while pretending to be a ship’s boy by using a sock, so if anyone finds the blood on it, she can say she cut her foot. Little things like that really deepened the realism in an otherwise fantastical story for me, because addressing those details answers questions my overly analytical mind would ask & wonder about if unacknowledged.

Lastly I'd like to suggest the article Armour of an Alienating Identity by Jeffrey Jerome Cohen. While it doesn't mention Parzival (the text), it does mention Perceval (the character), as well as Gareth Beaumains, Lancelot, Gawain, Yvain, and even Arthur himself. It goes on to reference endless examples to support its thesis including Greek heroes such as Achilles and Odysseus with references to many different medieval stories from Old English Beowulf to the Irish Ulster cycle to the works of Geoffrey Chaucer. Most (if not all) of the texts mentioned in this essay can be found on my blog for cross reference if you desire, although the article already contains many quotes.

Okay I think that’s all I got. I’ve given you a ton to think about and read. Ultimately I don’t think there’s a clean cut answer for this. Nuance, you know? Having hired an editor and many sensitivity readers myself, it really is just a professional a vibe check sometimes. You write what you want to the best of your ability, then other people weigh in, and you keep tweaking it until it’s as good as you can possibly make it. During development, and even in its final form, there will be people who don’t enjoy your story and that’s fine. It isn’t for everyone, it’s for you and your audience. No single experience in this life is the same so each fictional depiction emulating life will also be unique, there’s no “right” answer on how to write this or anything else, only the way you want to.

Hopefully now you have some tools to help you learn how best to express your vision. I know they gave me a lot of insight and ideas I lacked before when writing trans characters in my books. Thank you for trusting me with this question and good luck with your project! Take care! :^)

[everlasting-rainfall]

Hi Rainfall how are you?😊 I hope that you're doing well. This is my first request i hope you don't mind answering Can you please do a scenario of yandere Sabo falling in love with a member of the strawhat pirates please? And you're always welcome to add nsfw and please Keep up the nice writing and stay hydrated 😊

Sure! I’ll do my best and since you told me to stay hydrated, I’m gonna take a big gulp of water right now! This one is probably going to be quite short though as I’ve never been quite good at writing canon

Sincerest of apologies and I certainly do hope that you still enjoy it regardless! Now then…

Let’s get into it!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

A Yandere Fighting his Urges, Masturbation, Delusions, Celestial Dragon Mention, Sexual Fantasies, Anger, Kidnapping

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

So honestly I can imagine that you might have potentially encountered Sabo during the time skip like let’s say that you wound up encountering him for a little while during those two years

Maybe he saved you like you were in trouble with the Marines due to your wanted poster and Sabo noticing that you were running for your life decided to pull you into his hiding place out of sight as he was running too

Of course you were probably freaking out a little when he suddenly grabbed you but he kept you quiet and held you with your back against his chest until the coast was clear which is when he finally let go

Once you realized that you had been saved and had not in fact wound up in a worse scenario, that’s when you took a lot of deep breaths to calm yourself before you thanked him

It was after that is when he said that the two of you should stick together until you can get off this island as it was gonna be a while with how the Marines had locked the place down and despite everything. You knew trying to leave was a bad idea right now

During the time that the two of you spent waiting, you found out a lot about each other. He was a revolutionary that had been sent to this island on a mission, you were a pirate who had been separated from your crew

Honestly the two of you became quite close and eventually when the Marines calmed down thinking you both must be long gone. That’s when the two of you tried to leave only for Sabo to offer you to join the revolutionary army

You would make for a pretty good member after all and Sabo even offered to personally teach you everything that you needed to know

He was almost a little too insistent about it even when you said “I couldn’t just abandon my crew”. After a while though, you put your foot down and told him that you were going to find your crew and get back to them as nice as his offer was

Part of Sabo honestly felt the urge to just grab you and forcefully take you with him as how could a life on the seas possibly be better than fighting for what was truly right?

But nonetheless he held himself back for now and the two of you went your separate ways…

However as soon as he was away from your side and returning back to the others, he found that he simply couldn’t stop thinking about you as there was always a little bit of his mind that was thinking about you

It started off as him simply imagining what would have happened if you said yes and what you’re doing now then it progressed into forgetting that you weren’t here with him and occasionally slipping up like “I don’t know… What do you think, Y/N?”

Weirded the shit out of whoever he was talking to but regardless, he soon starts to imagine a complete life for the two of you in the world that the revolutionary army would bring about

He imagined living with you and letting you know just how much he loved you just about every single day, he wouldn’t have to worry about coming home and finding you missing or worse because some Celestial Dragon thought you were cute

There would be no need to fear that at all and even if there were still some fears in the world, he could protect you… He could protect you and any children that the two of you might have together

And as he thought about these scenarios in his head, he began to think to himself as the two of you were so close back on that island together… You knew so much about each other and not only that but some of your actions as well

You allowed him to sleep on the bed of the little inn room that you both managed to get instead of sleeping on the floor, you hugged him just a bit longer than you should have that one time, you even shared quite a few personal details with him that you probably haven’t told anyone else

Could it be that you felt the same way about him? Yeah, yeah! Of course you did, there’s absolutely no other explanation in his mind!

He just has to find you now and take you back with him when the time is right, he’ll tell you about how he feels the exact same way that you do and you’ll leap into his arms like it’s some kind of fairy tale! You’ll tell him that you’re so happy he realized and kiss him

These fantasies are truly some of the best things that he could ever think of and in all honesty, he even starts to dream about you sitting in his lap and riding him as you cry out that you’re so happy that you get to do this finally as you’ve wanted to do this since you’ve met him

Of course he usually has to take care of himself after these dreams which usually results in him moaning out your name as he rubs his cock to the visual of you bouncing on him or taking him into your mouth like a good girl

God, he needs to find you… He can’t wait for this any longer…

So Dressrosa winds up happening and of course you’re part of Luffy’s crew so as much as he would like to confess his feelings to you and steal you away, he’s sure that Luffy would never allow it plus he just can’t find the right moment to tell you how he feels

And due to this, he becomes more and more frustrated as sure the city is in absolute chaos and is about to be destroyed but he would just like at least ten seconds where shit isn’t going to hell so he can at least kiss you or say “I love you!” or something!

Even when the chaos is over, he still can’t find the correct moment and this man is very close to just coming up behind you and stealing you away

But as he’s coming up behind you planning to grab you from behind when it seems like you’re all alone, he’s just about to touch you when you suddenly turn around and say that you’ve been looking for him with a smile on your face

He thinks that you’re about to confess first and his heart is pounding in his chest as he’s so excited only for you to thank him so much for everything that he’s done before entering a conversation with him

You eventually let it slip that you have a bit of a crush on your captain and you can practically hear the cracking noise coming from Sabo before someone calls you away and you say that it was nice to see him again before leaving

Sabo is probably standing there just frozen and watching you go

So many things in his head are telling him to go after you to grab you and kiss you senseless so you realize that he’s the one for you but his Yandere Tendencies aren’t fully brought to the surface as he shakes his head and tries to fight the urge to do so as he leaves

He can’t bring himself to steal what’s potentially going to be his younger brothers girl someday… At least not yet…

Besides he’s absolutely sure that Luffy can keep you safe! Maybe even better than he can… Yeah! You’re in the safest hands with his younger brother! Sabo can definitely trust him to keep you safe and treat you EXACTLY how you deserve to be treated

And he couldn’t possibly bring himself to steal you away and protect you from all the dangers in the world that might try to hurt you! You’re part of Luffy’s crew after all and he doesn’t even mind if he someday gets an invite to the wedding that the two of you might have

If you heard a pop then that was Sabo’s stress ball… He’s on his fifth one today…

Regardless despite all of his wants, he gets back to his work as a revolutionary and tries to just ignore his feelings

That is until a certain country known as Lulusia gets wiped from existence and suddenly that last shred of sanity that Sabo had is completely gone

There is absolutely no way in hell that Luffy can keep you safe after what he just witnessed… He knew that the nagging feeling in the back of his head was right!

Luffy has too many crew members to watch out for after all and Sabo is certain that there could come a time when you’ll get hurt in some horrible awful way

And although Sabo does love his brother and would trust him with his life… He just wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he continued to let you stay there only for you to get hurt

Sabo will keep you safe, he’ll keep you safe and secure until the day finally comes when the revolutionary army has won

And when that day comes if the world is still just a bit too dangerous for his liking, he’ll continue to keep you safe even if it means locking you away inside of the home that he’ll share with you someday

He knows what’s best for you after all

[skeletwinsauaskbox]

Thought I was getting better but the fever is back

Luckily my mum doesn’t care that I’m 18 and should really be able to take care of myself and is making me comfort food

It’s probably worse by the fact that I’m stressed about my disability meeting at uni coming up

Sorry if it’s weird that I interact so much it’s just this ask blog makes me feel really welcomed as strange as that is

I’ve been having a really hard time recently and this blog has made me smile again

Keep up the good work creator

Your content is really appreciated

I'm gonna be honest. If I could reach through the screen and give you a hug, I would. I'm glad your mum is taking care of you, though. That's what parents are for, regardless of age. She's doing a great job.

All I can say is to keep trucking forward. Keep going, but remember to rest and take care of yourself too. Actually, come to think of it, that's actually the way to move forward right now. Taking the time to rest when you need to is still progression towards a healthier you. Remember that.

And never once have I thought you were weird for interacting so much. In fact, I found it very humbling that you care so much about my silly content! I'm glad I gave you a reason to smile, even through your sickness. I really hope you get better, I do.

Living with a disability can be tough. I'm not disabled (unless you count my autism) so I don't know what it's like to have a disability first hand, but nonetheless, I hope you manage to get the tools you need to take care of yourself and thrive. That's all any of us could want at the end of the day. Being disabled or sick or anything like that doesn't make you less of a person, nor does it mean you're worth less because of it.

With or without a disability, you're still a person with great value. I hope you keep that in mind when you go to your meeting. I can't promise you that the meeting will turn out fine or anything like that, because again, I don't know the details of your current situation. But what I can tell you with 200% certainty that being disabled doesn't mean you're worthless. You are worth so much, regardless of the outcome. I know this might not be the reassurance you sought for, but I hope it helps.

At the end of the day, all living creatures have worth on this planet. And as such, they deserve love and appreciation. Isn't that right, boys?

That's right. We all care about you here. So, all I can say now is...

Stay determined. ❤️🩵🧡

[darkfictionjude]

I've followed blogs without a demo before and while sometimes it has paid off - I find myself doing it less and less overtime because all too often I go back to a blog 3/4 months later and find it dead with no demo.

That being said in a lot of cases the demos never being finished feels like a cycle of :

*wanting to foster interest and community around your writing* -> *writing an IF is a huge task and it takes longer than expected to learn coding/write a branching narrative/limit story scope to a feasible level* -> *interest dies down because it has been a long time with no demo* -> *low/no interaction on posts ends up feeling demotivating especially when compared to other IF authors so they lose passion for the project*

To compromise, on my part I don't often follow blogs with no demo but if I'm genuinely interested in the story I try to go back to the blog and like/reblog posts or ask questions if there's anything I'm curious about. I definitely think you should write what you want for yourself without necessarily expecting attention - but attention and interaction is always going to feel good regardless.

At the end of the day as an audience member you're never actually 'owed' free content (especially given that its more often then not a passion project) so I have no hard feelings for writers who make demo blogs just to share some fun info about their characters/story and then dip - even if it can feel disappointing.

It 100% feels weird/kind of scammy to have a patreon if you haven't actually written anything though, because you're taking money from people (who often don't have huge amounts in the first place) before they even know if they like your writing/world/story - and before they know if you're capable of actually fulfilling any of the promises you make (which given that IF is generally much longer than a traditional novel is a *massive* promise to make to your audience in exchange for their financial support).

After an author has dropped a demo (even before any/consistent updates) patreon is all good in my book. At that point the audience has a 'sample' of the writing and can use that as a method to judge if they enjoy it. As long as the promised content on the patreon tiers are being fulfilled - you as an audience member are now getting what you've paid for - and can unsubscribe at any point if you no longer wish to keep paying for it.

Yeah I do feel like writers tend to want to work on something that will sell, and why not? It feels good to know your hard work is recognized and appreciated

This is a very nuanced take, I feel that some people even get angry when writers disappear, which yeah I’ve been burned before but like I don’t understand getting pissed when at the end of the day there are more games out there and as you said, no one is owed free content. IF writers are hobbyists, like this is a side thing for most of us it’s a gruelling hobby not only work load wise but also if you unfortunately get anons being mean to you

Yeah I didn’t want to say that but it does feel strange when there’s no work but there’s a Patreon. Because Patreon is just additional writing, it’s meant to be complementary to the main work. People pay for additional writing because they hope it adds to their experience when reading the IF proper.

I mean based on the name it is a modern version of being a painter in Europe during the renaissance and have a richer patron pay you to make art 😭

[yanderes-galore]

Can I request Bayverse Leo with your prompts 4, 44, and 45?

I'll see what I can do! Just saw the second movie so I may make this take place around that time or after? Hope you enjoy regardless :) As usual, the build up is poor but I was trying. I'm better with in the moment kind of stuff.

Yandere! Bayverse! Leonardo Prompts 4, 44, 45

"My heart belongs to you, I'll adore anything you do to it."

"Your tongue is so sharp... wouldn't it be a shame if I had to silence it?"

"Stop screaming! I can't take it!"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, His brothers accidentally encourage him one time and things go wrong, Stalking, Slight overprotective behavior, Kidnapping, Threats, Forced relationship, OOC Leonardo, I struggle with Bayverse Ig 🤷‍♀️

Leo knew it was wrong to fall for a human as a mutant. He used to think it was bad news when Mikey showed feelings for April. At the time, he didn't get it.

Now he did.

Leonardo had met you through April and Casey. A human friend who managed to be a good help to them against the battle of the Technodrome incident. It was this big event that made the stoic leader grow curious of you.

After the battle the turtles were accepted by the community for the most part. This made interactions with you easier, which only fed into his growing feelings. He's happy he doesn't have to hide himself from you.

Although there is certain aspects he does hide from you.

Leonardo tried to keep his attraction to you hidden. For now, he's fine being a friend and a hero to you. He often got to speak with you during hang outs with April and Casey.

Leo may be able to hide his attraction from you, but his brothers know him well. Leonardo doesn't try to be impressive or stutter around anyone. It may have partially been Donnie and Mikey's fault for encouraging Leo....

After all, the two encouraged Leonardo to get your number.

It was innocent for the most part! Leonardo passed it off as just wanting to keep in touch. You're friends and a great team... might as well call and text once in awhile?

Being used to the mutants after the Technodrome incident, you accepted Leo's request with a smile. After all he is nice to talk to.... You trust him and his brothers as heroes of New York, after all.

You didn't expect much to come of it.

Phone calls were often exchanged back and forth. Hang out sessions were often set up late at night. You two became close.

Leo's brothers often overheard him talking to you around their home. Leonardo often shed off his stoic leader persona to talk to you casually. Based on the amount of chuckles and compliments, they knew their brother enjoyed his time with you.

They also knew he's leave late at night to meet you. Sure, he could see you in the day now, but night felt so much more natural. You two would still talk and have fun for hours regardless.

For months after the big battle Leonardo stuck beside you. It's been going on for so long his brothers saw it as normal. They can't tell much if Leonardo is doing anything bad at first.

He is.

Leonardo's behavior around you appears relatively normal. He still leaves late at night, he still texts and calls, he's done so for months!

Leo... tends to be secretive.

His brothers, your friends, even you don't see the pictures on his phone. No one ever sees him watching you in the shadows. With his growing feelings... his obsession... he's stealthy with it all.

Leo feels comforted when he watches you at night through your window. There's times he wishes to slip in and watch you closer. He promises he won't do anything weird.

Leonardo wishes you'd be susceptible to his feelings someday. Whenever he looks at you... he feels a yearning in his chest. He doesn't care if he sees you from afar, his phone, or right in front of him... he still wishes you could be closer.

It's a crush, a similar crush he thought was strange with Mikey. Although, his was much stronger than those small feelings. Leo's feelings drove him.

Drove him to do... dishonorable things.

There's signs that slowly start to bleed through. Leo's more touchy when you hang out, often trying to excuse it. He just... wants to hug you, is all.

He also just gets... upset when you turn away. He's upset when you look at one of his brothers or your friends with more affection than him. Do you... not like him? You talk all the time! Surely you must feel similar to how he does by now, right?

He tries to hide things but truthfully... he can't much longer.

You have no idea what he'd do for you... he wants to be yours so bad...

Maybe... it's time you learn just how much he loves you?

This is love... isn't it?

----

This... wasn't how love was supposed to go for all. He knew he was being eager yet... ugh, this isn't how a leader is supposed to act! He's... kidnapped you.

The worst thing?

The only thing he hates is your screaming.

He was just trying to show you how much he loved you! It wasn't meant to be kidnapping! He just... brought you home to hang out-

Then he confessed to you in his room... you turned him down. Something snapped in him and he ended up locking the door.... Then you wouldn't stop screaming.

Even when he moved you to a more secure and hidden place to work things out, you kept screaming... calling him a monster over and over again.

You wanted to be let go... he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Your screaming makes him so upset. He hates that he's scaring you but he also wishes you went along with this. Why didn't you accept him...

Now he really is a monster to you.

"Stop screaming! I can't take it!" Leo snaps, gaze staring down your frightened body. He... didn't know he could get so angry. You had the right to be scared....

"No! Let me go you freak! I TRUSTED you! You were my FRIEND! Now look at you! Kidnapping me because of what!? Let me go-!"

"Stop it!" Leo growls, stalking closer. He grips your chain and pulls down. You freeze when you see the gleam of a katana, the turtle in front of you grins. "Your tongue is so sharp... wouldn't it be a shame if I had to silence it?"

Leo looks into your crying eyes and quivering lips. Oh... he was only getting worse, wasn't he? He couldn't handle you not loving him to the point he was hurting you...

This isn't him...

This isn't the Leonardo you should love.

"... I'm sorry, baby...." Leonardo murmurs, releasing his grip to stroke the top of your head. "I scared you... you scared me, too. I promise I'll be gentle now. I didn't mean to lose my cool.... This isn't how a leader should act... this isn't how I should act towards the one I love, huh?

"Leo..." You whine softly. "Let me go... please...."

"I can't, baby... you know that." He kisses the top of your head and you cringe. "Not in the meantime, at least."

"You're scaring me...."

"I'm sorry." He holds you in a rough hug. "I just... love you more than anything." He then pulls away and holds your face with a smile.

"My heart belongs to you, I'll adore anything you do to it." Leo sighs, pulling away to look at you in your binds... your tear stained face engraving itself in his mind. "Even if you hate me after all of this..."

Leonardo holds your hands, blue eyes glinting with adoration. It looks to innocent to be coming from him. He's betrayed you, after all....

"I'll love you no matter what happens."

The kiss he forces onto your lips afterwards feels like poison dripping into your mouth.

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

Hello, I have a tiny question.

Lately I've started to publish gifs and the thing is that I don't see a lot of people reblogging them. I've been wondering if I make them in a bad way or is it just that they need time to get more attention?

As the fellow gif maker I think you should have the answer. Thank you in advance.

this is such a precious ask that also kind of makes me sad. and a very good and real question.

without even seeing them, i'm like 99.9% sure it isn't your gifs that are the problem.

this has been a thing that a lot of people have been complaining about, actually. i've seen so many posts basically yelling at everybody to reblog from creators because otherwise people get discouraged and stop posting, that the lack of reblogs is slowly killing tumblr. especially if people come here hoping to meet/interact with others over common interests and they don't get that. the loneliness is real.

i mean, this place used to be more populated too, so less people is probably part of it.

it also depends on whether you're posting things related to a big fandom or a small fandom, or if it's not really fandom specific stuff.

in a bigger fandom, reblogs should be more common but some people still complain about the reblogs/likes ratio, with most notes being likes instead of reblogs.

in a small and/or nonexistent fandom, you'd probably be like me with around an average of 0-4 total notes on a typical gifset, reblogs usually being very rare(not counting the times i've reblogged my own posts).

some fandoms might have more rebloggers in them than others regardless of whether it's big or small, depending on the people in it.

if your gifs aren't always fandom specific, it might be hit or miss where an occasional post might blow up, while most of the rest might get very little. (in 2020, i was making gifs of various bands, i made some of a guns n roses video and one gifset has over 400 notes, over 100 of them being reblogs, while the rest of the gifsets from that video have like 15 notes total. i never know what will happen, but now i know people love guns n roses)

if you're posting on a new blog, you could just need time for people to find your posts. be sure it's all tagged so people can find them, especially in case anybody is following a specific tag.

it's also fine for you to reblog your own posts to bring them back into the light once in a while. some people feel weird about doing self-reblogs, but otherwise your followers might not even know they're there unless they're put back on their dashboard or if they're specifically searching it(which is sometimes unsuccessful with tumblr's search problems). some might miss them when they were first posted depending on the time of day and their timezones and how active their own dashboard is, things like that. i reblog my own stuff all the time, especially if i have something new in mind to say about it later on or if i'm just browsing my own archive for fun. i made them, i figure i'm allowed to have fun with them if i feel like it.

if you're making the gifs just because you enjoy making gifs, just keep doing what you love doing, don't worry about the notes so much. eventually you will attract the right people. sometimes it can just take a long time to get there, especially in tumblr's current state where it's harder for people to discover you when nothing's getting reblogged by other people. but if you decide it doesn't feel worth it, i wouldn't blame you because i've felt that too, many times. i'll probably feel it again eventually. but i have a few different reasons i continue making and posting gifs despite that.

it feels weird too when things happen like, you'll be posting about one thing for a long time and then one of your followers will reblog one of the posts one day and it turns out one of THEIR followers is very interested and had no idea your blog even existed for all that time. it's like. HOW LONG HAS THAT PERSON BEEN JUST SLIGHTLY OUT OF REACH?

but everybody's blog is their own, i personally wouldn't ever tell somebody what they should or shouldn't post on their own blog. it's just sad to me that so many people seem so separated these days. i hope that changes and people start wanting to be involved in each other's things more without being pressured to. but also, this is the social anxiety website.

[sleepynegress]

On Challengers...

Okay.

So, here's the thing. It's decent.

It's sassy, catfighty, but with dudes using rackets and tongue-wrestling, and the tennis scenes are tense, but... it wasn't at all confidently scandalous like I would've expected.

....Like I feel like they didn't push it far enough, somehow? And not even in the way you might think, with dicks a-swingin and thrusts abundant. Remember, the movie Closer? -I think that came out in 2007ish and was rated PG-13??? Or could have been if not for the language.

Natalie Portman has a similar nudity clause to her contract and *STILL* had the absolute sexiest scene with Clive Owen.... .....Which I'll put in this post to demonstrate what I mean. This felt like it held back at moments... When it came to pushing desire, between the men and/or with Zendaya, with one or the other. It just felt so tame to me given the hype. I was hoping for a return to artistic sensuality in film again, instead of this weird sort of by-rote-feeling purity culture we're having rn. (I'm watching Love Lies Bleeding tonight and I BET that delivers. Lesbians, salude!) I was hoping for Cruel Intentions' lush cut with The Dreamers' sensuality..if that makes sense?? AND some good-good tennis. THAT did deliver. WOW, some of the shots for that were eye-popping. A critic I follow noted that her issue (she always has the best takes I don't agree with all of them but they are always well-articulated) was that Zendaya was not fleshed out as a central figure, especially as a BLACK WOMAN. It was yet again another case of a Black woman dropped down from the moon coming from no people of her own, but just somehow existing in a sea of white people with not a hint of Black friends or loved ones.

Hell, they could've even laid out *her people* like the brilliantly underrated Beyond The Lights with Minnie Driver playing the stage manager mom to Gugu Mbatha Raw's biracial pop star. But that comes down to the white male gaze fucking it up, yet again. I looked up the screenwriter and just kind of nodded knowingly with an 'oh, yeah that's what I expected, that explains it...' He simply didn't have the range beyond a sort of vague tennis fetish for brown girls in short skirts grunting and swinging and wanting to do something with that. He admitted that Naomi and another Black woman player's interaction on the court *inspired* this...

Perception of Black women doing ANYTHING can be so heavy with a weirdly asexual gaze from white women and hyper-sexualized by white men. And if desire/centering tips in the "wrong" direction deemed by prejudice and our assumed place....*yeesh* we catch hell. You're either bafflingly too ugly to be treated with desire (whew the incel bigots are big mad that it's Zendaya and not a Sweeney-type) or only deemed good enough for it, because of that white gaze. And resented regardless.

*sigh* Can't win for losing. But I digress. Zendaya's co-stars are the oddest looking mystical-dwarf-head ass forest creature white boys with big ears, but they GAVE in the acting department. Mike Faist is a STAR. He has a sort of laidback sweetly confident rizz. But he definitely is the lovechild of a young Scott Glenn and DJ Qualls. I want to put him in a western immediately because he has Civil War photo face.

Mike O'Connor has that desperate dirty hairy scruffy thing like dude from The Bear. Like you KNOW he has a scratch tat somewhere and would do the dirty with his partner in the toilet stalls or anywhere else. Hollyweird is strange about beauty standards man. Back in the day, they used to pretend old white men, who looked like they smelled like Barbasol mixed w/ urine would somehow be sexy to a twentysomething. Now, we have this dichotomy of thankfully a little more of a diverse gaze for the centered "bombshell" other than blonde with large breasts number 32637263872.... but we also have some actresses cutting fat out their cheeks and being Ozempic thin. *sigh* ...While the "basic" hot boys are punching the air rn because they are also passé. Got to have something interesting going on in the face for everyone now, I think. Can't just be AI "pretty" anymore. Thankfully.

....Anyway. It is good, but with those caveats I laid out.

P.S. ICONIC for me is seeing Zendaya's Black-ass nose bridge drawn large on that poster. P.P.S Thank LUCA for doing the queer elements well... I personally don't think it went far enough, tho...

Mike bottoming for all, including getting pegged by Zendaya would've happened in my version of this... at least implied, come on (ficwriters?) Oh! and here are the clips from Closer, but then it was a successful play first, so the script is more substantial in that.

This is how filthy I expected Challengers to be, and it's just. not. Nothing in The Challengers touches the heavy heady nastiness in this scene IMO, but something in that movie should have, dammit! Note they never even touch each other.

[hahaifolded]

YOU GET IT!! God I’m so glad that I found your blog

Rant ensuing lmao (feel free to ignore!!)

I just hate hate hate when there’s some real good angst but the all the potential is just dashed because smut!

Maybe it’s because I’m on the ace spectrum, but I dunno. I hate when conflict is resolved just like that or when reader is written without a personality and just constantly horny, makes me really uncomfortable when all a character wants to do is sleep with another character.

Or when reader is written in a way that they’re clearly pushing boundaries of others and that’s seen as totally normal, for example: the trope of pushing Simon to reveal his face and writing him as an asshole because he doesn’t want to. Makes me feel icky.

Or let’s say character A gets with character B, even though A knows that B doesn’t want a family but keeps pushing for it regardless and then B is seen as an asshole because they don’t want that.

I just HATE characters disrespecting boundaries and the other person being seen as an asshole for it

Also, König. I have such a deep hatred for that man it’s UNREAL. Most of the reason is because he replaces Gaz often and it rubs me the wrong way completely. I have a tendency of hating a really popular character when they’re mostly loved because they have an attractive trait but not much else (he’s barely that fleshed out in CoD. Let’s be honest, I feel like he’s mostly liked for his height lmao)

And like just in general, König makes me really uncomfortable and I can’t find it in me to like him in the slightest for whatever reason

Of course, these are all my personal opinions, they’re definitely biased and subjective. I hold no judgment to anyone with different opinions and what they like. I actually think it’s fascinating how different people could consume the exact same media but have vastly different takes, it’s human and beautiful. I never want anyone to feel like I’m judging them for having different opinions or liking things that I don’t

Anyway! I think I rambled enough lmao, I’m sorry for going on that tangent, I’m sorry for any possible mistakes I’ve made in wringing (grammar/spelling). I just got really excited to share my thoughts and I genuinely love seeing you interacting with your followers. You’re such a cool person and I have so much respect for you and your work

Hope you have an amazing day/evening and I’m wishing you the best <33

(Also, no pressure at all to interact with this ask, please don’t feel obligated to respond. Your well being comes first always!!)

I have many thoughts, none of them coherent, but here we go:

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind some smut here and there, but I agree there are some good plots that are lost because they immediately jump to smut. To each their own but yeah it sucks when I read something that I'm like oooooh, what's ne-- and they're fucking, cool cool.

Yeah again Konig did it for me physically in the beginning. BUT then the shitshow that is people BEING RACIST started happening and I was like yeah no. Also his VA is SUPER SUPER weird so that also completely turned me off from that man. Also in general I think people characterize him in some kinda weird incel type of guy that completely grosses me out. So I can respect you being completely uncomfortable with him

also I do hold judgement with people who do have different opinions because im right. I will not elaborate

also you apologizing for your grammar mistakes sends me as if I am not an ESL kid.

thank you for your ramblings! gives me a chance to also yap!

and like always thank you for reading my stuff and interacting in this little site called Tumblr

[allthedamnlove]

https://x.com/rafiacomfort/status/1858494671829323876?s=46

sharing this because i know you love rofia and i could talk about them for hours😣💕💕

the parallels between them are like woah… and ppl expect me to believe their not endgame?? PLEASE🙂‍↔️

*Pulls up a chair*

I literally liked that tweet first HELP.

This is a very unpopular opinion but drew and fiona this season had more chemistry than rudy and madison LIKE I AM SORRY BUT I GOTTA BE HONEST WITH YALL

But I love jj as a character and I know jj as a character loved kie to death and kie will probably take a LONG TIME to forget jj. It is impractical for the pogues and rafe to go to Kildare cuz they are OUT FOR BLOOD and will go to lisbon for revenge so kie literally jumping to rafe is NAWT HAPPENING regardless of sofia. So the point I'm saying is, RIARA STOP HATING ON SOFIA YOU FREAKS

Buttt yeses OMG THE PARALLEL. Throughout s3 and s4 there are soo many dialogues and plot lines that can be explored further abt rafe and sofias relationship. The dialogue in the tweet "you are a good girl, how did that happen" itself is very cryptic. Her family which was there yet not mentioned in the story at all. The fact that both were betrayed by themselves (sofia by pushing rafe with hollis and rafe by being a bitch *YES HE IS A BITCH* and shit talking about a person who will literally give up everything for her love by saying she's a pogue behind her back) are insane parallels.

I know KNOW that drew is going to insane levels of fame and heights in acting AS HE FUCKING SHOULD but i would love a small spinoff movie abt how rafe and sofia met. The fact that they didn't even showed how they met yet throwing a proposal (WHICH I AM A OK WITH BTW, it was my favourite scene of the ENTIRE SERIES LEMME TELL U) makes "rafe" fans really weirded out and I kinda agree with them. But I say that it's the writers fault.

Drew and fiona, again and again I will say HAVE INSANE CHEMISTRY. I hate that their dynamics I'd not explored more. Rafe is very very intense and complex and the relationship between a very soft spoken normal girl and a borderline psycho murderer has so much more potential than just being a filler storyline. Rafe has been not loved truly by anyone in his life and the fact that sofia loves him truly even with the amount of minimal screentime shows that these actors are not to be made uses in scarcity

Weirdly with jjs death rafe will probably become one of the centers of the story arc butt again they will be going to Lisbon I don't know how sofia and rafes relationship will be explored. But I know that this is not the end of rofia. I hope to god thar they end up together and we see a montage of them getting married and having kids.

Butt there lies the entire shoupe deal too so im also scared abt that. But I have started praying and there's a year left so atp we can only hope that rafe and sofia end up together.

Also I feel like they should have included fiona in the cast interviews. She is so sweet and bubbly and would have made a great addition to the fun and I WANT TO SEE FIONA AND DREW INTERACT TOGETHER. I hate that even Austin was in the press tour like gtfo.

So basically if rofias not endgame, I will personally b*mb jpates residency so that they don't ruin another ship.

Also thank you so much for sending an ask. Me @araybiaaa and @lostsyren are holding the Fort for rofia so talking about it is so cathartic and less lonely. Hope you have a great day.

[seeingivy]

Hi Ronnie!

I wanted to say hi and check in on you because you said you've been feeling down lately, but I'm SO happy you're feeling better!! I remember you saying earlier that you think people only interact with you when you write something on here, but I hope you know that there's so many of us out here that care about you regardless of what you put out <3 Stay happy and healthy in the new season! (literally everybody around me is sick and i think i'm next 😒)

Fun little ask but FAV FALL FOODS? or books if you read any? for music I've been listening to the Orquídeas album by Kali Uchis on repeat even tho its been out for so long. and Red Moon in Venus. and Isolation. (basically anything Kali Uchis 🙏)

but please do tell about what's going on in your life, and feel free to post on here if you ever just need someone to listen to, I'm always down to chat!! I love to hear what's going on with you, and I honestly need to drop by more! its honestly amazing that you're able to balance uni and life and writing all at once, so don't feel bad if you ever need breaks, we'll always all be here to gobble up your writing and chat with you and your mental health matters more 🫶

much love, vie :)

hi hi hi!

i put a cut because I accidentally yapped

thank you so much for sending me this ask! i usually try not to take people not interacting when i haven't posted in a while seriously - only bc i know tumblr only boosts what gets shown - but it does make it very hard to come back here sometimes when i compare it to how much i used to interact with people when things were super active - but i'm actively trying not to!!! this message is so so sweet and very encouraging

favorite foods? hm. it really depends on my mood. i like to eat chinese food when it rains. acai bowls when its like butt licking hot and i have to walk around campus LOL and a breakfast burrito when it's a long day of studying. books, i haven't had a chance to read but #no shame I read a really good dramione fanfiction I saw on tiktok a while back that was PHENOMENAL. i'm a casual harry potter/dramione fanfiction reader here and there but it hit.

as for songs, i've been listening to a lot of one direction! tldr, one direction basically started my fangirl/concerts/music era and that's when i got really close with my sister at the time so it just holds so many sweet memories for me. also zayn malik simply disbanded islamaphobia at my school for being hot so one direction meant something to me in SOOOO MANY WAYS. and while liam and his actions as of late were nothing I supported and vehemently hated, its a weird feeling to see a big part of my childhood change in some ways. so i've been listening to a lot of one direction HAHA. some of my favorite one direction songs are clouds, fireproof, something great, back for you, and up all night!! also one direction started my professional concert daughter era.

life is all good! thank you for giving me the opportunity to ramble about all the little things because it's honestly very fun and like rejuvenating to be able to do that sometimes <3 I hope you are doing so so swell

[heartscrypt]

Hii! I have a question about your thoughts on jamiazu.

Do you think that Azul would ever be able to confess any romantic feelings for Jamil? If so, how? And if not, would they be able to get together in any other way?

Sorry if this is a weird question, just curious.

thanks for your question! it is SO not weird at all i really enjoy stuff like this. actually i am going to go on a huge ramble that goes on a little tangent so like. LONG POST AHEAD!!!! be warned!!!!!

anyways. azul is always confessing his romantic feelings for jamil whether he knows it or not. in every interaction. because he's so damn obvious. hope this helps LOL

in all seriousness though. i really like to think that azul is kind of cursed to be a hopeless romantic despite it going against all of his pragmatic sense. i mean. he's a child of divorce who hates leaving things up to chance and he believes in getting something back whenever he gives something away. being head over heels with someone goes against his whole nature, so i think it's definitely a new thing for him. he won't recognize that his feelings are romantic right away because he'll be too busy trying to justify to himself why he's investing so much time and energy into a guy that Clearly wants nothing to do with him and won't give him the time of day. its business, guys, i swear.... stonks.....

i think once he does come to terms with it though. it starts leaking through in Every Interaction he has w/jamil. in every encounter, azul basically ends up saying I Love You without actually ever speaking it out loud. whether it's through his actions (like getting jamil gifts / offering to help out without any genuine expectation of repayment) or or his words (like implying things about them being good together / complimenting jamil excessively). things he did before he realized, but they just have so much more Weight to them now that he Knows he likes the other in a very Non-Platonic-Business-Partners way. he doesn't intend for it to have that emotional weight but its fucking impossible for him to hide and he does NOT know what to do with himself.

he keeps pushing forward regardless because some part of him hopes that his feelings will reach jamil but he also does it with the expectation that jamil will push back like he always has and that's completely fine by him because never actually directly admitting that these feelings are romantic means that the rejections also stay platonic and that is. Way easier to bounce back from. because god forbid jamil sees at who he is behind all the walls he's put up to protect his most vulnerable and emotional self and ends up hating the real azul too.

tl;dr: i don't think azul would go out of his way to make a real, honest confession of his feelings. but he's so obvious it actually hurts to watch

---

ok so. as for jamiazu get-together:

maybe im like super biased b/c im a sucker for narratives that involve jamil learning to shake his passivity and going ahead and Taking what he wants. but i always think that any scenario where jamiazu gets together has to be initiated by jamil somehow. azul can make the first move and several moves after that but jamil has to be the one to make the Final move if that makes sense.

i don't have like. one set get-together scenario but i have a couple that i like to rotate in my head sometimes. most of them involve azul being a failgirl and getting caught off guard because i think it's funny and jamil also thinks it's funny. here are two for your viewing pleasure:

azul makes a pass at jamil that is romantic-coded but could be interpreted as platonic. jamil seizes the opportunity to turn it Explicitly into a romantic thing and fluster azul to no end about it.

azul: there's a new tasting menu at the mostro lounge if you'd like to come with me and try, i'd love to see what your discerning palette makes of it ^__^!

jamil, very casually: yeah sure. why not. i'll go on a date with you

azul, who did NOT expect a yes so his head is about to explode in t-minus 5 seconds: oh, uh. that's .fantastic, actually— wait. ....DATE?!?!?;!?

jamil corners azul and admits romantic feelings first. bonus points if it's a situation where any romantic confession would be incredibly out of the blue. and the way that jamil says it is like dropping a bomb on azul

like in potions lab. azul's concentrating very hard on pouring an exact amount of a substance. jamils watching him and at some point out of nowhere he breaks the silence in between them by going "i think i like you. in the romantic sense". azul's concentration snaps immediately and he fumbles the beaker into the cauldron out of sheer WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. it explodes in both of their faces. they both have no chance to address what jamil said because crewel is chewing them out for the next 15 minutes about lab safety. during the entire 15 minutes azul looks like he's been hit over the head with several bricks. Repeatedly. jamil's smirking the whole time though he dgaf. takes pleasure in flustering azul

anyways. im insane about these guys ♥️ if you stuck around and read the entire post im really sorry for writing so much i just have a lot of thoughts

[prince-liest]

This may be an odd question, but I believe you mentioned you got into writing because of rp(or at least into fanfiction?) And I was wondering how you transitioned into writing solo? Most of my writing is/was with a partner, but I've been trying to write on my own, and I've found it incredibly difficult. I'm told that what I write is still good regardless, but I've a hard time both finding enthusiasm for it without a partner to bounce off of or finishing whatever I'm working on.

This might just be a me thing and more to do with being self-critical, but if you have any advice, I'd really appreciate it. I just want to figure out how to enjoy writing again without jumping through weird hoops for motivation.

(You may have already been comfortable writing even before rp and if that's the case, feel free to disregard this question.)

I'd tried to write a bit of fanfic before my RP days with limited success motivating myself, so it really was very much RP that got me the skills and ability to be able to write full-form fics!

But more than mechanical skill, mostly I think the issue you face is very similar to what I struggled with for a while when swapping to writing fanfic, which is that a lot of the reason RP is so easy and rewarding is because it's such a profoundly social activity. You write a few paragraphs and then you get social feedback immediately from your RP partner in the form of chatting about it and/or the RP response you get! With fanfiction, you have to write a whole damn piece or chapter, post it, and then hope that you get comments if you want engagement - and then those comments are inevitably going to be a little bit less personal if, like me, you RP OCs that you put a lot of yourself into rather than pre-existing characters!

The problem with doing things for the sake of extrinsic motivation is that it kills your intrinsic motivation to do those things. This isn't a moral flaw, it's a documented psychological effect! Nowadays I write primarily because I want to see the things I put into the world, but that's fucking easy for me to say when I also have a large reader base and really enthusiastic commentors, isn't it? And it took me a hot minute to figure out how to transition to motivating myself that way rather than because I wanted interaction.

My suggestion is, honestly, to find folks that hype you up! I kinda crested that barrier by getting possessed by writing demons and pounding out like 60k words of insane Hawks-centric character study in one month during the 2020 quarantine, and I was lucky enough that people really liked it and immediately flooded my notifications with the kind of really lovely, long-form comments that my writing style encourages, which isn't really a typical experience. Those folks that hype you up, it is LOVELY if they are your friends, but sometimes what you really need to do is find the small social circle of freaks that are really into whatever niche thing it is that you are writing, and infiltrate their Discord. Ship-specific groups are really good for this! (Especially for rarepairs.)

But a lot of it is really going to be finding the balance of finding supportive people who will feed into your excitement, and also finding that part of yourself that finds the process of writing to be fun. Social activity is still 100% just a necessary part of the human experience, and I myself post snippets of my writing online and on Discord all the time for the little dopamine hit of "Yay! We're enjoying this together!" but it's become something I do because I want to share the joy I already get from writing, not because I'm writing to share it!

Which also means that you should write things that you enjoy writing. ;) Write things you are actually excited about - not just things you want to read, but things you think would be fun to write, and if there are boring parts that you're getting stuck on? Fucking skip them! I am not kidding! You think anybody thought it was a loss that I literally never even mentioned how radiostatic got together for the first time in 666? If they did, nobody's mentioned it, because it wasn't necessary to the story I actually wanted to tell. Literally so goddamn many of my fics start with cold opens because I don't like to bother with exposition until things have already gotten rolling. Fanfiction especially is GREAT for this because people are already familiar with the world you're writing in!

You are writing to entertain yourself! If it's not entertaining, don't fucking write it! Or figure out what about it is boring you, and then write it differently. This will have the splendid side effect of teaching you how to write transitions and also making a fic that is more fun to read. >:)

Anyway, this has gotten quite long, so: I'm sorry that I wasn't able to offer a great deal of advice, because I relate deeply to what you're experiencing but I basically got to speedrun the transition phase. I hope that it was at least a little bit helpful!