#// this was a weird interaction but I hope you have a good day regardless!!

[ofcrossrcads]

Why would you spend so much money on this hellsite? It's a waste of money and a total rip off. There's better things to spend your money on than scams.

idk what to tell you my dude (gender neutral), I like the rainbows.

[yandere-sins]

Just read your yandere!Ghost HCs and I am absolutely in love!! What are your thoughts on a shared darling between an all yandere!task force 141? Do you think it will make Ghost less possessive cause he doesn't have to worry about protecting their darling all the time or even more so cause he has to share? 🤔 Also curious about the other members interacting both with their darling and each other.

You're an amazing writer and I love all of your works so much!! Have a lovely day!! ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for your request! ♥ I only did the core members I know of and about, hope that's alright!

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Price

♡ John has undisputed dips on you in this dynamic. He doesn't take the active role of caretaker for you, but he gets to hold you first after a mission, be the first to kiss you, and ask if you've eaten and if you were good while he was gone. He's the one giving orders concerning you after consulting with the others, and he's the one to cozy up to if you really want to better your living situation, even though he doesn't easily fall for tricks. You'll have to behave in front of him because the punishments he orders are all the harsher. Putting you into your place never feels more bittersweet than when he gives you both carrot and stick to remind you of your position by his side. That you are nothing without him. That you need him. But as long as you indulge him a little whenever he asks for it, his presence in the group isn't much trouble to you.

♡ Price mostly hands over taking care of you to the boys, laughing when he jokes about "being too old" to clean up after you. But he has that authority no one can argue against. If he wants you in his bed for the night, the others won't complain as they send you to his room, and if he dislikes your attitude, he'll treat you like a rookie soldier in need of some discipline—just without professionalism holding him back. But it's so easy to get along with him if only you let down your pride a bit. When you catch him watching you across the table, get up from whoever's lap you are on and climb on Price's. Allow him to knead your thighs and ass while you cuddle against his chest, and you'll have this grown man melt with affection for you. And when he asks whose bed you want to share that night, never hesitate to ask for his. If he doesn't want to, he'll send you away anyway, but showing him how devoted you are will earn you lots of browny points that might help you out of more complicated situations with the others. Price never forgets what you do—neither good nor bad.

Soap

♡ Soap is, undoubtedly, the social butterfly of the group, and you are his unwilling victim. He so loves to hang out with you, every bit of attention going straight to his ego. Then again, he's also your best bet when it comes to food, bathing, and other basic needs that you want met from your captors. He's the easiest to ask for anything because he wants your attention desperately and will try to fulfill your wishes like a dog trying to impress his owner. He's also your main chaperon around base, gladly escorting you to the kitchen, the bathroom, or wherever the rest of the group is. If no one else claims you for the day or night, his room is basically yours, and you are often collected from it, as John will claim all your time and your sanity if left unchecked.

♡ Regardless, behind all the smiles and jokes, he's definitely the most obsessed. You'll find him wide awake, watching you sleep at night or licking your cutlery after you eat. There have been no fewer than three times that he didn't accompany you into the shower, taking advantage of you whenever he can. It's hard to look into his eyes sometimes, wide open and swirling with madness while he watches you, always right there to catch you when you fall. Soap will gladly lick the blood off your wounds if he's not pulled away by the collar of his shirt. King of not caring what the others think, he's not even realizing how weird he's being, but you know. You know what he does with your underwear at night. You know the crazed rambles he whispers into your ear when he thinks you're asleep. You wholeheartedly believe he's tempering with your food sometimes, and you know there's hell to pay if you make him snap. John will take a lot of screaming and fighting back. However, you still have bruises from the last time his composure cracked, and no amount of him kissing them better helps to forget the way he can and will crack your skull on a wall if you defy him one too many times.

Ghost

♡ The reality is that Simon profits greatly from the arrangement but isn't too keen on it. He'll tolerate it; watch quietly as everyone else salivates over you. But nothing can convince him that any of the guys are better for you than he is. Even if he gives in to Price's authority, Soap's efforts, and Roach's right to you, doesn't mean he thinks they should have you. He's known for stealing you out of beds and sometimes kidnapping you to someplace the others won't find right away to get some undisturbed alone time. However, being with him is terrifying. You won't be able to relax, your heart pounding against your ribcage when you're with him. After all, it's Ghost, and he's a big, unpredictable meanie, at least in your opinion.

♡ Doesn't help that he's usually the one to diffuse any problems the others have with you before taking you with him and giving you the punishment you'll feel for the next few days. The others trust him to do the right thing, to make you obedient and sweet again. And he does, most of the time. There's only so much pain and torture you can endure. But he's also the one to mend your wounds and patch you up, gently asserting authority over you when you get fussy while he helps you stay alive after one of the others caused havoc on your body. You told him so many times you wanted to die, and he was the one to soothe you, hold you until you fell asleep. Sometimes, you think about thanking him. But then you remember his other side, the one that enjoys your pain, enjoys your dependency on him. The Ghost that loves cornering you against walls and kissing you breathlessly while you struggle, the one that broke and put your ankles into casts after you tried to run away. The shadow that is always there to remind you to play nice but who never rewards you in return. He must love you, somewhere, deep inside his shrewd brain. But you hate him with every fiber of your being. He's your worst nightmare, enemy, the bastard of the group. And your savior, protector, and most devoted lover at the same time.

Roach

♡ Gary is the yandere that you want to get along with. Who you actively try to pull on your side against the others, thinking he'd give you some leniency and compassion. After all, he ensures you get what you need when everyone else is too busy fawning over you. He brings in the goods to play with you, and makes you little gifts that you know are from him but he never claims your thanks. Roach is the last escape when you're in for another punishment, and you gladly disregard the fact that he's turning a blind eye to what his mates are doing if it means escaping whatever Soap or Ghost are planning to do with you. He's the eery presence at your back, his eyes always drilling into you, but his hands never forcing you towards him. He feels safe. Safer than anyone else, at least. But still waters are deep, and you don't know how you and his delayed gratification affect him.

♡ You are in for a rude awakening when you run to him, beg him to help you, and plead with him to make the others stop. Suddenly, his hands are all over you, and you are pulled into his lap, tightly secured in his arms, face burying into the crook of your neck as he breathes you in. It feels like you're imprisoned in his grasp, your body crushed between his and his arms. He's patient, always laying in wait for you to come to him, so when you do, you are all his. No one dares to disturb him when he traps you against him. The others might sigh and groan but will retreat and give him the time he's owed, considering he never asks for it. And Roach plans to use his time with you wisely, give you all the attention and care he's been holding back or doing in the shadow. You'll belong to him all night long without a second to breathe while he devours you, devotes all his love to you. You'll only be given back once he's done smothering you in suffocating adoration, leaving his marks all over you, and making you thoroughly regret the trust you put into him to help you and protect you. He's just as bad, if not worse than the others, and he'll gladly lure you into the fake sense of safety again with his presence and subtle touches that will keep them away as no one knows when Roach is ready to claim you again. Now that he had a taste, it's hard not to want more...

[luveline]

Hey jade, I hope you had a good Christmas,

Love your writing so much it brings me so much serotonin 🤣🤣 I have a request for hotch if you’d be up to it, I just love this man’s patience and understanding and would love to see him interact with reader who struggles with sex? Or just sexual stuff in general, like maybe she feels really embarrassed about it and doesn’t know how to talk about it with him? Idk if this is something you’d be interested in just thought I’d throw it out there. Regardless, I can’t wait to see what you post next ♥️♥️♥️

hotch lends you some comfort when a certain topic flusters you, 1.1k

cw adult themes, mdni 

“It's almost cheaper to have kids.” 

You scoop your gaze from the deodorants. “What?” you ask, looking first to Hotch, and then to his eyeline. “Oh.” 

The grocery store boasts a few rows of contraceptives. Condoms, dental dams, and under that, lubes and stimulants in candy rainbow colours. Thirty one ninety nine for silicone-free, aloe vera flavoured lube. Twenty seven for o-gel. 

You avert your gaze without fact-checking him on the condoms, laughing awkwardly as your heart races. “Right.” 

“I'm kidding. Just feeding Jack is a surprising expense.” He says surprising like it's delightful. “Good thing we have cushy jobs.” 

Oh, he's feeling funny tonight. Your laugh is authentic as he takes your arm, the basket in his other clinking as he starts forward again. You finish your quick stock up and Hotch pays for your things despite your protests, packing you and the bags into his ‘cushy’ car. 

You're a little embarrassed in the passenger seat. Your relationship with Hotch is complicated in that while you're in the official early days, you pined for a long time. You're undoubtedly in love with him, and though he's your boss and your senior, he seems to have taken a similar liking to you, hence another chilled out date night upon his invitation. And you've you've messed around like teenagers with kisses too hot and hands wandering, but you haven't fucked, and it's a problem, because your usual awkwardness around the subject grows bigger the longer you wait. 

Hotch can wait forever if he wants, you're not trying to rush him. If he wanted to fuck you tonight you'd probably be too nervous anyhow. 

You can't talk about condoms. How are you going to cope when you have to use one? 

Your stomach churns the longer you think about it. Hotch doesn't react at first, but you know he's figured you out when he covers your hand atop your knee and gives it a squeeze. You okay?

“Can we turn on the radio?” you ask. 

His hand lifts away slowly. He turns on the radio, and you think, oh, he's mad. No, not mad. Irritated, maybe, or confused. That's not fair to him. You think it anyway, sick to your stomach as he parks in the parking garage under his building and you make your way up. 

He doesn't pull any punches —as soon as you're inside with your shoes off and the door locked, he puts the groceries on the counter and looks at you until you meet his eyes. 

“I'm sorry,” he says. 

“What for?” you ask, startled. 

“I made you uncomfortable. I didn't mean to imply anything before you're ready.” He's handsome like this, earnest, his eyebrows raised and an inviting palm held open on the counter beside him. “It was a poorly judged joke.” 

“No, no, I,” —you bring a hand to your mouth, cover it, uncover it— “don't mind if you want to joke about it. It would be weird to care, right?” 

He hears an insecurity in your tone you don't mean to reveal, and he pieces it together swiftly. Understanding lines his eyes. “I don't think so,” he murmurs. 

You're embarrassed beyond words, but he is your boyfriend. He asked with a little expensive bracelet and your favourite baked treat from the bakery near work. You'd only ever mentioned it once, but he remembered. He knows you well, and he's never given you reason to be afraid of his reactions. 

“It's just so embarrassing,” you mumble, staring down at your socks. 

“What is?” he asks, crossing the kitchen to take your hands. “You don't have to be embarrassed about anything, you're perfect.” 

Your breath catches, your neck cracking uncomfortably as you look up. “I– I don't know how to talk about it. I know it's childish.” 

“No, it's not. It's a big thing, and it comes naturally to some people, but not everyone.” His brow furrows a little, the warm depth of his voice working to unspool the tight panic you'd been clinging to, “I'd never push you to do something you're not ready for.” 

“I know that. It's not you. And I don't know if I'm ready or not, it's just–” Your face is hot enough to boil rain. You shake your head. It's too difficult to explain. 

Hotch ushers you into his solid chest. “It's okay,” he says, patting your back gently. “Don't worry about it.” 

“I want us to be like everyone else,” you confess. 

“We are. You're not the first woman to get nervous about the idea of intimacy, sweetheart, I promise. And I'm not the first man to make a bad joke about contraceptives.” He laughs as you laugh, two huffing chuckles as he presses his lips to the top of your head. “You can take as much time as you need to get used to the idea, and if it's still weird when you're ready, does it matter? We'll be weird about it together. Or we won't be. Okay?” 

“Yeah, okay… thank you, Aaron.” 

“I waited a long, long time for this,” he says, giving your back a pointed little squeeze. “And it's more than I ever thought I'd get. I'm not worried about the rest. I'm in no rush, and you shouldn't be either.” 

You hide your face in his chest for a while, somehow more embarrassed than when you'd started. He draws lines up and down your back with his palm patiently. “It's okay,” he says again, kissing the side of your face. After a moment, he encourages your head back with a hand on your cheek, checking your expression carefully before leaning in for a kiss. His hair tickles your forehead. 

To your relief, it doesn't make you nervous. He probably never could, not when he's touching you so softly. 

You're feeling a hundred times better when you pull away. A tad mortified still, but relieved to know your struggle with talking about it isn't a turn off. If he can stick with you through this bump in the road, you can try, at least, to overcome it. 

“Is lube really thirty two dollars?” you ask in a whisper. 

“I don't know. I've never needed it.” 

He spends the next ten minutes laughing and apologising sincerely as steam pours out of your ears. 

[archiveikemen]

"Come Play With Us, Miss Fairytale Keeper" Story Event: Chapter 1

Alfons Sylvatica VS Ring Schwartz

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting

One afternoon, Alfons and I were being briefed on our next mission. 

Victor: That’s the general outline of it. Additionally, I have a favour to ask of you two… 

Darius’ Voice: It’s me. May I come in? 

Victor: You may. 

Upon being granted permission, Darius entered the room with Nica and Ring. 

Victor: You came at the perfect time, I was going to talk about you.

Darius: I saw Miss Fairytale Keeper enter the room with Alfons earlier, so I figured as much. 

(Does Victor’s favour have something to do with the members of Vogel…?) 

Victor: Actually, I was asked if one of the Vogel members could accompany you on a mission. 

Victor: I’m thinking that it’d be a good idea for this mission. What are your thoughts, Alfons and Kate? 

(This mission is to find out the time and place of a transaction involving “illegal drugs”.) 

(We’re only going to eavesdrop on the target’s conversation, so it shouldn't be a problem to have more people with us.) 

Kate: I think it's fine with me. 

Alfons: I don't mind as long as I get to choose who comes with us.

Darius: Fufu, who will you choose?

Ring: I’ll cut every single member down if anything happens to Dari or Nica. 

Alfons: Ooh, how scary! But there’s no need to worry.

Alfons: The one I choose is you, Ring. 

Ring: … Me?

Surprised to hear that he was chosen, Ring cast a glance at Darius.

Darius: Isn’t that great? I think you can learn various things from this. 

Darius: So… Pass auf dich auf / Have a nice one. 

Ring: … Alles klar / Understood. 

And so, the first mission with Alfons, Ring, and I began.

…

The day of the mission. Ring stared wide-eyed at me when he boarded the carriage. 

Ring: W-what’s with that outfit… 

Kate: I put it on for the mission. … Do I look weird? 

Ring: … I was just a little surprised because you look different from usual. 

As Ring gave a blunt response, Alfons put an arm over my shoulder. 

Alfons: It suits Miss Robin, doesn’t it? I picked out this dress for her. 

Alfons: She looks so lovely it makes you feel like you want to pin her down and get dirty with her, doesn't she? I understand that feeling.

Ring: Wha…! I- I never said anything like that…

Alfons: My, are you secretly thinking about it then? What a pervert. 

Ring: I would never! … You’re exactly as the rumours say you are. “A walking offence to public morals”! 

Alfons: I don’t deny that, but isn’t your reaction too exaggerated, Ring? You sound like a virgin.

Alfons: I wonder if you can handle this mission when you’re so innocent… I’m worried. 

Alfons: Since you’re not used to women, perhaps we should have someone else replace you— 

Ring: W-wait… I have plenty of experience with that, so I don't have any problems completing the mission. 

Alfons: Is that so? That’s a relief then. Isn’t it, Miss Robin?

Kate: Y-yes… 

Alfons continued talking to Ring amusedly, his facial expression looking as though he had found a new toy. 

On the other hand, Ring looked uncomfortable and was clearly not liking Alfons’ teasing. 

(... I hope we complete the mission without any problems…) 

…

The carriage sped through the streets and arrived at a large mansion in the suburbs. 

Alfons: Allow me to explain about this mansion which is the location for our mission. 

Alfons: This mansion is a meeting place for people who indulge in illicit love affairs. 

Alfons: All forms of love are accepted here… regardless of social status, gender, or marital status.

Alfons: Therefore, all conversations between the pairs that take place in this mansion are kept strictly confidential. 

Ring: That makes it the perfect place for criminals to meet in secret. 

Alfons: Exactly. Moreover, participants can choose to get a key to a private room to enjoy some alone time together as a pair.

Alfons’ explanation reminded me of what happened when we first arrived at the mansion.

= Flashback Start = 

Butler: Please hold, dear guests. The rooms can only be used by two people. Three is… 

Alfons: No need to worry. We don't intend to have a threesome.

Alfons: He and I are competing for this lady’s love. Isn’t that right, Ring? 

Ring: Huh!? Y-yeah… that’s right.

Despite not fully understanding the situation, Ring seemed to be going along with Alfons’ story.

Alfons: She will choose between Ring and I later on.

Alfons: It won’t be a problem if we only obtain the room key after that, right?

= Flashback End = 

Kate: We have to choose the room next to our target’s in order to eavesdrop on their meeting… 

Kate: That’s why you made it seem as though two of you are competing for me, then we’ll find out which room our target is in and get our key. 

Alfons: Your quick understanding is very helpful. 

Ring: … I wasn’t told about this mansion prior to starting the mission.

Kate: It was my first time hearing about it too. 

Alfons: Ah, I withheld that piece of information on purpose. 

Kate: What.

Ring: Withholding information… is this Crown’s way of doing things? Or were you trying to trap me…? 

Ring: Whichever it is, I guess I don’t have the right to complain if you were to kill me right here and now. 

Kate: P-please calm down, Ring! I’m sure he had his reasons for doing that. … Right, Alfons!? 

Alfons: Why did I withhold information, you ask…? It was for Ring’s sake.

Ring: For my sake? 

Ring looked at Alfons suspiciously. 

He was definitely feeling the same way I was — “this man can’t be trusted”. 

Alfons: I figured that you’d get nervous if you knew we’d be pretending to compete over a woman… so I chose not to tell you until the last minute. 

Alfons: But you said you’re very experienced, right? My worries were unfounded then. 

Rint: R-right. No need to worry about me.

Kate: What about me? Why didn't you tell me?

Alfons: Because you’ll feel bad if Ring was the only one kept in the dark. 

(I can’t deny that…) 

Alfons: Well then. We’ll have to find out which room our target chose—

Alfons: And Kate will have to choose one person between Ring and myself to be her lover.

Alfons: If this goes as I expected, I’m the one you’ll choose, right? I’ll make you feel good today too, as always. 

Ring: … I won't let that happen.

Ring: As a member of Vogel, I can’t afford to make a fool of myself here.

Ring: I’m the one Kate will choose.

Tension sparked between Ring and Alfons. 

(What’s going to happen with this mission…?)

[everlasting-rainfall]

Hi Rainfall how are you?😊 I hope that you're doing well. This is my first request i hope you don't mind answering Can you please do a scenario of yandere Sabo falling in love with a member of the strawhat pirates please? And you're always welcome to add nsfw and please Keep up the nice writing and stay hydrated 😊

Sure! I’ll do my best and since you told me to stay hydrated, I’m gonna take a big gulp of water right now! This one is probably going to be quite short though as I’ve never been quite good at writing canon

Sincerest of apologies and I certainly do hope that you still enjoy it regardless! Now then…

Let’s get into it!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

A Yandere Fighting his Urges, Masturbation, Delusions, Celestial Dragon Mention, Sexual Fantasies, Anger, Kidnapping

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

So honestly I can imagine that you might have potentially encountered Sabo during the time skip like let’s say that you wound up encountering him for a little while during those two years

Maybe he saved you like you were in trouble with the Marines due to your wanted poster and Sabo noticing that you were running for your life decided to pull you into his hiding place out of sight as he was running too

Of course you were probably freaking out a little when he suddenly grabbed you but he kept you quiet and held you with your back against his chest until the coast was clear which is when he finally let go

Once you realized that you had been saved and had not in fact wound up in a worse scenario, that’s when you took a lot of deep breaths to calm yourself before you thanked him

It was after that is when he said that the two of you should stick together until you can get off this island as it was gonna be a while with how the Marines had locked the place down and despite everything. You knew trying to leave was a bad idea right now

During the time that the two of you spent waiting, you found out a lot about each other. He was a revolutionary that had been sent to this island on a mission, you were a pirate who had been separated from your crew

Honestly the two of you became quite close and eventually when the Marines calmed down thinking you both must be long gone. That’s when the two of you tried to leave only for Sabo to offer you to join the revolutionary army

You would make for a pretty good member after all and Sabo even offered to personally teach you everything that you needed to know

He was almost a little too insistent about it even when you said “I couldn’t just abandon my crew”. After a while though, you put your foot down and told him that you were going to find your crew and get back to them as nice as his offer was

Part of Sabo honestly felt the urge to just grab you and forcefully take you with him as how could a life on the seas possibly be better than fighting for what was truly right?

But nonetheless he held himself back for now and the two of you went your separate ways…

However as soon as he was away from your side and returning back to the others, he found that he simply couldn’t stop thinking about you as there was always a little bit of his mind that was thinking about you

It started off as him simply imagining what would have happened if you said yes and what you’re doing now then it progressed into forgetting that you weren’t here with him and occasionally slipping up like “I don’t know… What do you think, Y/N?”

Weirded the shit out of whoever he was talking to but regardless, he soon starts to imagine a complete life for the two of you in the world that the revolutionary army would bring about

He imagined living with you and letting you know just how much he loved you just about every single day, he wouldn’t have to worry about coming home and finding you missing or worse because some Celestial Dragon thought you were cute

There would be no need to fear that at all and even if there were still some fears in the world, he could protect you… He could protect you and any children that the two of you might have together

And as he thought about these scenarios in his head, he began to think to himself as the two of you were so close back on that island together… You knew so much about each other and not only that but some of your actions as well

You allowed him to sleep on the bed of the little inn room that you both managed to get instead of sleeping on the floor, you hugged him just a bit longer than you should have that one time, you even shared quite a few personal details with him that you probably haven’t told anyone else

Could it be that you felt the same way about him? Yeah, yeah! Of course you did, there’s absolutely no other explanation in his mind!

He just has to find you now and take you back with him when the time is right, he’ll tell you about how he feels the exact same way that you do and you’ll leap into his arms like it’s some kind of fairy tale! You’ll tell him that you’re so happy he realized and kiss him

These fantasies are truly some of the best things that he could ever think of and in all honesty, he even starts to dream about you sitting in his lap and riding him as you cry out that you’re so happy that you get to do this finally as you’ve wanted to do this since you’ve met him

Of course he usually has to take care of himself after these dreams which usually results in him moaning out your name as he rubs his cock to the visual of you bouncing on him or taking him into your mouth like a good girl

God, he needs to find you… He can’t wait for this any longer…

So Dressrosa winds up happening and of course you’re part of Luffy’s crew so as much as he would like to confess his feelings to you and steal you away, he’s sure that Luffy would never allow it plus he just can’t find the right moment to tell you how he feels

And due to this, he becomes more and more frustrated as sure the city is in absolute chaos and is about to be destroyed but he would just like at least ten seconds where shit isn’t going to hell so he can at least kiss you or say “I love you!” or something!

Even when the chaos is over, he still can’t find the correct moment and this man is very close to just coming up behind you and stealing you away

But as he’s coming up behind you planning to grab you from behind when it seems like you’re all alone, he’s just about to touch you when you suddenly turn around and say that you’ve been looking for him with a smile on your face

He thinks that you’re about to confess first and his heart is pounding in his chest as he’s so excited only for you to thank him so much for everything that he’s done before entering a conversation with him

You eventually let it slip that you have a bit of a crush on your captain and you can practically hear the cracking noise coming from Sabo before someone calls you away and you say that it was nice to see him again before leaving

Sabo is probably standing there just frozen and watching you go

So many things in his head are telling him to go after you to grab you and kiss you senseless so you realize that he’s the one for you but his Yandere Tendencies aren’t fully brought to the surface as he shakes his head and tries to fight the urge to do so as he leaves

He can’t bring himself to steal what’s potentially going to be his younger brothers girl someday… At least not yet…

Besides he’s absolutely sure that Luffy can keep you safe! Maybe even better than he can… Yeah! You’re in the safest hands with his younger brother! Sabo can definitely trust him to keep you safe and treat you EXACTLY how you deserve to be treated

And he couldn’t possibly bring himself to steal you away and protect you from all the dangers in the world that might try to hurt you! You’re part of Luffy’s crew after all and he doesn’t even mind if he someday gets an invite to the wedding that the two of you might have

If you heard a pop then that was Sabo’s stress ball… He’s on his fifth one today…

Regardless despite all of his wants, he gets back to his work as a revolutionary and tries to just ignore his feelings

That is until a certain country known as Lulusia gets wiped from existence and suddenly that last shred of sanity that Sabo had is completely gone

There is absolutely no way in hell that Luffy can keep you safe after what he just witnessed… He knew that the nagging feeling in the back of his head was right!

Luffy has too many crew members to watch out for after all and Sabo is certain that there could come a time when you’ll get hurt in some horrible awful way

And although Sabo does love his brother and would trust him with his life… He just wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he continued to let you stay there only for you to get hurt

Sabo will keep you safe, he’ll keep you safe and secure until the day finally comes when the revolutionary army has won

And when that day comes if the world is still just a bit too dangerous for his liking, he’ll continue to keep you safe even if it means locking you away inside of the home that he’ll share with you someday

He knows what’s best for you after all

[darkfictionjude]

I've followed blogs without a demo before and while sometimes it has paid off - I find myself doing it less and less overtime because all too often I go back to a blog 3/4 months later and find it dead with no demo.

That being said in a lot of cases the demos never being finished feels like a cycle of :

*wanting to foster interest and community around your writing* -> *writing an IF is a huge task and it takes longer than expected to learn coding/write a branching narrative/limit story scope to a feasible level* -> *interest dies down because it has been a long time with no demo* -> *low/no interaction on posts ends up feeling demotivating especially when compared to other IF authors so they lose passion for the project*

To compromise, on my part I don't often follow blogs with no demo but if I'm genuinely interested in the story I try to go back to the blog and like/reblog posts or ask questions if there's anything I'm curious about. I definitely think you should write what you want for yourself without necessarily expecting attention - but attention and interaction is always going to feel good regardless.

At the end of the day as an audience member you're never actually 'owed' free content (especially given that its more often then not a passion project) so I have no hard feelings for writers who make demo blogs just to share some fun info about their characters/story and then dip - even if it can feel disappointing.

It 100% feels weird/kind of scammy to have a patreon if you haven't actually written anything though, because you're taking money from people (who often don't have huge amounts in the first place) before they even know if they like your writing/world/story - and before they know if you're capable of actually fulfilling any of the promises you make (which given that IF is generally much longer than a traditional novel is a *massive* promise to make to your audience in exchange for their financial support).

After an author has dropped a demo (even before any/consistent updates) patreon is all good in my book. At that point the audience has a 'sample' of the writing and can use that as a method to judge if they enjoy it. As long as the promised content on the patreon tiers are being fulfilled - you as an audience member are now getting what you've paid for - and can unsubscribe at any point if you no longer wish to keep paying for it.

Yeah I do feel like writers tend to want to work on something that will sell, and why not? It feels good to know your hard work is recognized and appreciated

This is a very nuanced take, I feel that some people even get angry when writers disappear, which yeah I’ve been burned before but like I don’t understand getting pissed when at the end of the day there are more games out there and as you said, no one is owed free content. IF writers are hobbyists, like this is a side thing for most of us it’s a gruelling hobby not only work load wise but also if you unfortunately get anons being mean to you

Yeah I didn’t want to say that but it does feel strange when there’s no work but there’s a Patreon. Because Patreon is just additional writing, it’s meant to be complementary to the main work. People pay for additional writing because they hope it adds to their experience when reading the IF proper.

I mean based on the name it is a modern version of being a painter in Europe during the renaissance and have a richer patron pay you to make art 😭

[yanderes-galore]

Can I request Bayverse Leo with your prompts 4, 44, and 45?

I'll see what I can do! Just saw the second movie so I may make this take place around that time or after? Hope you enjoy regardless :) As usual, the build up is poor but I was trying. I'm better with in the moment kind of stuff.

Yandere! Bayverse! Leonardo Prompts 4, 44, 45

"My heart belongs to you, I'll adore anything you do to it."

"Your tongue is so sharp... wouldn't it be a shame if I had to silence it?"

"Stop screaming! I can't take it!"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, His brothers accidentally encourage him one time and things go wrong, Stalking, Slight overprotective behavior, Kidnapping, Threats, Forced relationship, OOC Leonardo, I struggle with Bayverse Ig 🤷‍♀️

Leo knew it was wrong to fall for a human as a mutant. He used to think it was bad news when Mikey showed feelings for April. At the time, he didn't get it.

Now he did.

Leonardo had met you through April and Casey. A human friend who managed to be a good help to them against the battle of the Technodrome incident. It was this big event that made the stoic leader grow curious of you.

After the battle the turtles were accepted by the community for the most part. This made interactions with you easier, which only fed into his growing feelings. He's happy he doesn't have to hide himself from you.

Although there is certain aspects he does hide from you.

Leonardo tried to keep his attraction to you hidden. For now, he's fine being a friend and a hero to you. He often got to speak with you during hang outs with April and Casey.

Leo may be able to hide his attraction from you, but his brothers know him well. Leonardo doesn't try to be impressive or stutter around anyone. It may have partially been Donnie and Mikey's fault for encouraging Leo....

After all, the two encouraged Leonardo to get your number.

It was innocent for the most part! Leonardo passed it off as just wanting to keep in touch. You're friends and a great team... might as well call and text once in awhile?

Being used to the mutants after the Technodrome incident, you accepted Leo's request with a smile. After all he is nice to talk to.... You trust him and his brothers as heroes of New York, after all.

You didn't expect much to come of it.

Phone calls were often exchanged back and forth. Hang out sessions were often set up late at night. You two became close.

Leo's brothers often overheard him talking to you around their home. Leonardo often shed off his stoic leader persona to talk to you casually. Based on the amount of chuckles and compliments, they knew their brother enjoyed his time with you.

They also knew he's leave late at night to meet you. Sure, he could see you in the day now, but night felt so much more natural. You two would still talk and have fun for hours regardless.

For months after the big battle Leonardo stuck beside you. It's been going on for so long his brothers saw it as normal. They can't tell much if Leonardo is doing anything bad at first.

He is.

Leonardo's behavior around you appears relatively normal. He still leaves late at night, he still texts and calls, he's done so for months!

Leo... tends to be secretive.

His brothers, your friends, even you don't see the pictures on his phone. No one ever sees him watching you in the shadows. With his growing feelings... his obsession... he's stealthy with it all.

Leo feels comforted when he watches you at night through your window. There's times he wishes to slip in and watch you closer. He promises he won't do anything weird.

Leonardo wishes you'd be susceptible to his feelings someday. Whenever he looks at you... he feels a yearning in his chest. He doesn't care if he sees you from afar, his phone, or right in front of him... he still wishes you could be closer.

It's a crush, a similar crush he thought was strange with Mikey. Although, his was much stronger than those small feelings. Leo's feelings drove him.

Drove him to do... dishonorable things.

There's signs that slowly start to bleed through. Leo's more touchy when you hang out, often trying to excuse it. He just... wants to hug you, is all.

He also just gets... upset when you turn away. He's upset when you look at one of his brothers or your friends with more affection than him. Do you... not like him? You talk all the time! Surely you must feel similar to how he does by now, right?

He tries to hide things but truthfully... he can't much longer.

You have no idea what he'd do for you... he wants to be yours so bad...

Maybe... it's time you learn just how much he loves you?

This is love... isn't it?

----

This... wasn't how love was supposed to go for all. He knew he was being eager yet... ugh, this isn't how a leader is supposed to act! He's... kidnapped you.

The worst thing?

The only thing he hates is your screaming.

He was just trying to show you how much he loved you! It wasn't meant to be kidnapping! He just... brought you home to hang out-

Then he confessed to you in his room... you turned him down. Something snapped in him and he ended up locking the door.... Then you wouldn't stop screaming.

Even when he moved you to a more secure and hidden place to work things out, you kept screaming... calling him a monster over and over again.

You wanted to be let go... he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Your screaming makes him so upset. He hates that he's scaring you but he also wishes you went along with this. Why didn't you accept him...

Now he really is a monster to you.

"Stop screaming! I can't take it!" Leo snaps, gaze staring down your frightened body. He... didn't know he could get so angry. You had the right to be scared....

"No! Let me go you freak! I TRUSTED you! You were my FRIEND! Now look at you! Kidnapping me because of what!? Let me go-!"

"Stop it!" Leo growls, stalking closer. He grips your chain and pulls down. You freeze when you see the gleam of a katana, the turtle in front of you grins. "Your tongue is so sharp... wouldn't it be a shame if I had to silence it?"

Leo looks into your crying eyes and quivering lips. Oh... he was only getting worse, wasn't he? He couldn't handle you not loving him to the point he was hurting you...

This isn't him...

This isn't the Leonardo you should love.

"... I'm sorry, baby...." Leonardo murmurs, releasing his grip to stroke the top of your head. "I scared you... you scared me, too. I promise I'll be gentle now. I didn't mean to lose my cool.... This isn't how a leader should act... this isn't how I should act towards the one I love, huh?

"Leo..." You whine softly. "Let me go... please...."

"I can't, baby... you know that." He kisses the top of your head and you cringe. "Not in the meantime, at least."

"You're scaring me...."

"I'm sorry." He holds you in a rough hug. "I just... love you more than anything." He then pulls away and holds your face with a smile.

"My heart belongs to you, I'll adore anything you do to it." Leo sighs, pulling away to look at you in your binds... your tear stained face engraving itself in his mind. "Even if you hate me after all of this..."

Leonardo holds your hands, blue eyes glinting with adoration. It looks to innocent to be coming from him. He's betrayed you, after all....

"I'll love you no matter what happens."

The kiss he forces onto your lips afterwards feels like poison dripping into your mouth.

[sleepynegress]

On Challengers...

Okay.

So, here's the thing. It's decent.

It's sassy, catfighty, but with dudes using rackets and tongue-wrestling, and the tennis scenes are tense, but... it wasn't at all confidently scandalous like I would've expected.

....Like I feel like they didn't push it far enough, somehow? And not even in the way you might think, with dicks a-swingin and thrusts abundant. Remember, the movie Closer? -I think that came out in 2007ish and was rated PG-13??? Or could have been if not for the language.

Natalie Portman has a similar nudity clause to her contract and *STILL* had the absolute sexiest scene with Clive Owen.... .....Which I'll put in this post to demonstrate what I mean. This felt like it held back at moments... When it came to pushing desire, between the men and/or with Zendaya, with one or the other. It just felt so tame to me given the hype. I was hoping for a return to artistic sensuality in film again, instead of this weird sort of by-rote-feeling purity culture we're having rn. (I'm watching Love Lies Bleeding tonight and I BET that delivers. Lesbians, salude!) I was hoping for Cruel Intentions' lush cut with The Dreamers' sensuality..if that makes sense?? AND some good-good tennis. THAT did deliver. WOW, some of the shots for that were eye-popping. A critic I follow noted that her issue (she always has the best takes I don't agree with all of them but they are always well-articulated) was that Zendaya was not fleshed out as a central figure, especially as a BLACK WOMAN. It was yet again another case of a Black woman dropped down from the moon coming from no people of her own, but just somehow existing in a sea of white people with not a hint of Black friends or loved ones.

Hell, they could've even laid out *her people* like the brilliantly underrated Beyond The Lights with Minnie Driver playing the stage manager mom to Gugu Mbatha Raw's biracial pop star. But that comes down to the white male gaze fucking it up, yet again. I looked up the screenwriter and just kind of nodded knowingly with an 'oh, yeah that's what I expected, that explains it...' He simply didn't have the range beyond a sort of vague tennis fetish for brown girls in short skirts grunting and swinging and wanting to do something with that. He admitted that Naomi and another Black woman player's interaction on the court *inspired* this...

Perception of Black women doing ANYTHING can be so heavy with a weirdly asexual gaze from white women and hyper-sexualized by white men. And if desire/centering tips in the "wrong" direction deemed by prejudice and our assumed place....*yeesh* we catch hell. You're either bafflingly too ugly to be treated with desire (whew the incel bigots are big mad that it's Zendaya and not a Sweeney-type) or only deemed good enough for it, because of that white gaze. And resented regardless.

*sigh* Can't win for losing. But I digress. Zendaya's co-stars are the oddest looking mystical-dwarf-head ass forest creature white boys with big ears, but they GAVE in the acting department. Mike Faist is a STAR. He has a sort of laidback sweetly confident rizz. But he definitely is the lovechild of a young Scott Glenn and DJ Qualls. I want to put him in a western immediately because he has Civil War photo face.

Mike O'Connor has that desperate dirty hairy scruffy thing like dude from The Bear. Like you KNOW he has a scratch tat somewhere and would do the dirty with his partner in the toilet stalls or anywhere else. Hollyweird is strange about beauty standards man. Back in the day, they used to pretend old white men, who looked like they smelled like Barbasol mixed w/ urine would somehow be sexy to a twentysomething. Now, we have this dichotomy of thankfully a little more of a diverse gaze for the centered "bombshell" other than blonde with large breasts number 32637263872.... but we also have some actresses cutting fat out their cheeks and being Ozempic thin. *sigh* ...While the "basic" hot boys are punching the air rn because they are also passé. Got to have something interesting going on in the face for everyone now, I think. Can't just be AI "pretty" anymore. Thankfully.

....Anyway. It is good, but with those caveats I laid out.

P.S. ICONIC for me is seeing Zendaya's Black-ass nose bridge drawn large on that poster. P.P.S Thank LUCA for doing the queer elements well... I personally don't think it went far enough, tho...

Mike bottoming for all, including getting pegged by Zendaya would've happened in my version of this... at least implied, come on (ficwriters?) Oh! and here are the clips from Closer, but then it was a successful play first, so the script is more substantial in that.

This is how filthy I expected Challengers to be, and it's just. not. Nothing in The Challengers touches the heavy heady nastiness in this scene IMO, but something in that movie should have, dammit! Note they never even touch each other.

[allthedamnlove]

https://x.com/rafiacomfort/status/1858494671829323876?s=46

sharing this because i know you love rofia and i could talk about them for hours😣💕💕

the parallels between them are like woah… and ppl expect me to believe their not endgame?? PLEASE🙂‍↔️

*Pulls up a chair*

I literally liked that tweet first HELP.

This is a very unpopular opinion but drew and fiona this season had more chemistry than rudy and madison LIKE I AM SORRY BUT I GOTTA BE HONEST WITH YALL

But I love jj as a character and I know jj as a character loved kie to death and kie will probably take a LONG TIME to forget jj. It is impractical for the pogues and rafe to go to Kildare cuz they are OUT FOR BLOOD and will go to lisbon for revenge so kie literally jumping to rafe is NAWT HAPPENING regardless of sofia. So the point I'm saying is, RIARA STOP HATING ON SOFIA YOU FREAKS

Buttt yeses OMG THE PARALLEL. Throughout s3 and s4 there are soo many dialogues and plot lines that can be explored further abt rafe and sofias relationship. The dialogue in the tweet "you are a good girl, how did that happen" itself is very cryptic. Her family which was there yet not mentioned in the story at all. The fact that both were betrayed by themselves (sofia by pushing rafe with hollis and rafe by being a bitch *YES HE IS A BITCH* and shit talking about a person who will literally give up everything for her love by saying she's a pogue behind her back) are insane parallels.

I know KNOW that drew is going to insane levels of fame and heights in acting AS HE FUCKING SHOULD but i would love a small spinoff movie abt how rafe and sofia met. The fact that they didn't even showed how they met yet throwing a proposal (WHICH I AM A OK WITH BTW, it was my favourite scene of the ENTIRE SERIES LEMME TELL U) makes "rafe" fans really weirded out and I kinda agree with them. But I say that it's the writers fault.

Drew and fiona, again and again I will say HAVE INSANE CHEMISTRY. I hate that their dynamics I'd not explored more. Rafe is very very intense and complex and the relationship between a very soft spoken normal girl and a borderline psycho murderer has so much more potential than just being a filler storyline. Rafe has been not loved truly by anyone in his life and the fact that sofia loves him truly even with the amount of minimal screentime shows that these actors are not to be made uses in scarcity

Weirdly with jjs death rafe will probably become one of the centers of the story arc butt again they will be going to Lisbon I don't know how sofia and rafes relationship will be explored. But I know that this is not the end of rofia. I hope to god thar they end up together and we see a montage of them getting married and having kids.

Butt there lies the entire shoupe deal too so im also scared abt that. But I have started praying and there's a year left so atp we can only hope that rafe and sofia end up together.

Also I feel like they should have included fiona in the cast interviews. She is so sweet and bubbly and would have made a great addition to the fun and I WANT TO SEE FIONA AND DREW INTERACT TOGETHER. I hate that even Austin was in the press tour like gtfo.

So basically if rofias not endgame, I will personally b*mb jpates residency so that they don't ruin another ship.

Also thank you so much for sending an ask. Me @araybiaaa and @lostsyren are holding the Fort for rofia so talking about it is so cathartic and less lonely. Hope you have a great day.

[seeingivy]

Hi Ronnie!

I wanted to say hi and check in on you because you said you've been feeling down lately, but I'm SO happy you're feeling better!! I remember you saying earlier that you think people only interact with you when you write something on here, but I hope you know that there's so many of us out here that care about you regardless of what you put out <3 Stay happy and healthy in the new season! (literally everybody around me is sick and i think i'm next 😒)

Fun little ask but FAV FALL FOODS? or books if you read any? for music I've been listening to the Orquídeas album by Kali Uchis on repeat even tho its been out for so long. and Red Moon in Venus. and Isolation. (basically anything Kali Uchis 🙏)

but please do tell about what's going on in your life, and feel free to post on here if you ever just need someone to listen to, I'm always down to chat!! I love to hear what's going on with you, and I honestly need to drop by more! its honestly amazing that you're able to balance uni and life and writing all at once, so don't feel bad if you ever need breaks, we'll always all be here to gobble up your writing and chat with you and your mental health matters more 🫶

much love, vie :)

hi hi hi!

i put a cut because I accidentally yapped

thank you so much for sending me this ask! i usually try not to take people not interacting when i haven't posted in a while seriously - only bc i know tumblr only boosts what gets shown - but it does make it very hard to come back here sometimes when i compare it to how much i used to interact with people when things were super active - but i'm actively trying not to!!! this message is so so sweet and very encouraging

favorite foods? hm. it really depends on my mood. i like to eat chinese food when it rains. acai bowls when its like butt licking hot and i have to walk around campus LOL and a breakfast burrito when it's a long day of studying. books, i haven't had a chance to read but #no shame I read a really good dramione fanfiction I saw on tiktok a while back that was PHENOMENAL. i'm a casual harry potter/dramione fanfiction reader here and there but it hit.

as for songs, i've been listening to a lot of one direction! tldr, one direction basically started my fangirl/concerts/music era and that's when i got really close with my sister at the time so it just holds so many sweet memories for me. also zayn malik simply disbanded islamaphobia at my school for being hot so one direction meant something to me in SOOOO MANY WAYS. and while liam and his actions as of late were nothing I supported and vehemently hated, its a weird feeling to see a big part of my childhood change in some ways. so i've been listening to a lot of one direction HAHA. some of my favorite one direction songs are clouds, fireproof, something great, back for you, and up all night!! also one direction started my professional concert daughter era.

life is all good! thank you for giving me the opportunity to ramble about all the little things because it's honestly very fun and like rejuvenating to be able to do that sometimes <3 I hope you are doing so so swell

[heartscrypt]

Hii! I have a question about your thoughts on jamiazu.

Do you think that Azul would ever be able to confess any romantic feelings for Jamil? If so, how? And if not, would they be able to get together in any other way?

Sorry if this is a weird question, just curious.

thanks for your question! it is SO not weird at all i really enjoy stuff like this. actually i am going to go on a huge ramble that goes on a little tangent so like. LONG POST AHEAD!!!! be warned!!!!!

anyways. azul is always confessing his romantic feelings for jamil whether he knows it or not. in every interaction. because he's so damn obvious. hope this helps LOL

in all seriousness though. i really like to think that azul is kind of cursed to be a hopeless romantic despite it going against all of his pragmatic sense. i mean. he's a child of divorce who hates leaving things up to chance and he believes in getting something back whenever he gives something away. being head over heels with someone goes against his whole nature, so i think it's definitely a new thing for him. he won't recognize that his feelings are romantic right away because he'll be too busy trying to justify to himself why he's investing so much time and energy into a guy that Clearly wants nothing to do with him and won't give him the time of day. its business, guys, i swear.... stonks.....

i think once he does come to terms with it though. it starts leaking through in Every Interaction he has w/jamil. in every encounter, azul basically ends up saying I Love You without actually ever speaking it out loud. whether it's through his actions (like getting jamil gifts / offering to help out without any genuine expectation of repayment) or or his words (like implying things about them being good together / complimenting jamil excessively). things he did before he realized, but they just have so much more Weight to them now that he Knows he likes the other in a very Non-Platonic-Business-Partners way. he doesn't intend for it to have that emotional weight but its fucking impossible for him to hide and he does NOT know what to do with himself.

he keeps pushing forward regardless because some part of him hopes that his feelings will reach jamil but he also does it with the expectation that jamil will push back like he always has and that's completely fine by him because never actually directly admitting that these feelings are romantic means that the rejections also stay platonic and that is. Way easier to bounce back from. because god forbid jamil sees at who he is behind all the walls he's put up to protect his most vulnerable and emotional self and ends up hating the real azul too.

tl;dr: i don't think azul would go out of his way to make a real, honest confession of his feelings. but he's so obvious it actually hurts to watch

---

ok so. as for jamiazu get-together:

maybe im like super biased b/c im a sucker for narratives that involve jamil learning to shake his passivity and going ahead and Taking what he wants. but i always think that any scenario where jamiazu gets together has to be initiated by jamil somehow. azul can make the first move and several moves after that but jamil has to be the one to make the Final move if that makes sense.

i don't have like. one set get-together scenario but i have a couple that i like to rotate in my head sometimes. most of them involve azul being a failgirl and getting caught off guard because i think it's funny and jamil also thinks it's funny. here are two for your viewing pleasure:

azul makes a pass at jamil that is romantic-coded but could be interpreted as platonic. jamil seizes the opportunity to turn it Explicitly into a romantic thing and fluster azul to no end about it.

azul: there's a new tasting menu at the mostro lounge if you'd like to come with me and try, i'd love to see what your discerning palette makes of it ^__^!

jamil, very casually: yeah sure. why not. i'll go on a date with you

azul, who did NOT expect a yes so his head is about to explode in t-minus 5 seconds: oh, uh. that's .fantastic, actually— wait. ....DATE?!?!?;!?

jamil corners azul and admits romantic feelings first. bonus points if it's a situation where any romantic confession would be incredibly out of the blue. and the way that jamil says it is like dropping a bomb on azul

like in potions lab. azul's concentrating very hard on pouring an exact amount of a substance. jamils watching him and at some point out of nowhere he breaks the silence in between them by going "i think i like you. in the romantic sense". azul's concentration snaps immediately and he fumbles the beaker into the cauldron out of sheer WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. it explodes in both of their faces. they both have no chance to address what jamil said because crewel is chewing them out for the next 15 minutes about lab safety. during the entire 15 minutes azul looks like he's been hit over the head with several bricks. Repeatedly. jamil's smirking the whole time though he dgaf. takes pleasure in flustering azul

anyways. im insane about these guys ♥️ if you stuck around and read the entire post im really sorry for writing so much i just have a lot of thoughts

[vermillioncrown]

so, what's up with korvin's parents?

they're just normal people. they just have their circumstances and korvin doesn't want people putting their ignorant opinions on them.

=

but what's really up with korvin's parents? (+ a deeper discussion on my other fics, why the SI MCs are the way they are)

Getting Real™️ warning: reading this might provide context that turns you off my fics.

if you want to keep enjoying light-hearted snark as it is, don't read. if you read this, i request you do not come to me to argue a contrary interpretation of my writing. i know where my brain worms come from, please and thank you.

===

They are stated to be undocumented persons in chapter 1. They intentionally abandoned Korvin in the US. Korvin's reaction is he does not want anyone's judgment on the situation, because chances are it will be 'well-intentioned' but without context, kinda racist and classist, and he's an adult in a kid's body. He gets the kind of pressure that he, as a 'weird kid', as who should be his parents' first-born son to make it in America, would put on his parents. There are no other relatives here to help. They are too poor to be careful parents and do more than financially support their child, just barely. Mental health and superstition are greatly tied in Chinese culture, so he also squicks them with his 'unnaturalness'.

Their choice to leave him in the US is a far-shot hope that while they can't support their kid properly, he'd at least be to stay as a Dreamer and somehow make it.

And how do you begin to explain all that to someone? And better yet, how do you control the gut clenching reaction to someone's judgment of your situation when there was no good choice? What if someone accuses you and your parents of taking advantage of the US legal system, as if you're cockroaches that don't 'deserve' where you are right now?

It's better to never leave an opening for someone to judge. Or if someone has to say something, you just smile and nod, because you usually can't afford to say anything back to them.

I don't make this blatant in the fic because that's 1) insensitive 2) I don't want to deal with people's ACTUAL ignorant opinions 3) it's kinda meta and ingrained for me to be circumspect about this stuff, even if it makes up an essential part of Korvin.

===

It's cosmic comedy, I think, that I'm doing an application that needs me to submit a statement on my academic interests and diversity within my professional career. What is my past experience with that? What is my future intent? How has this impacted my goal to join academia?

I'm almost 30. And growing up somewhere metropolitan, moving all over the country, interacting with people of many walks of life and knowing there are many more I don't interact with...I've been through a roller coaster of perspectives what makes a person distinct. Their distinctness isn't just personality, even if personality isn't so flimsy that a different day will change someone so completely. Yet, we're all shaped by where we come from. Our background, culture, class, sex, environment, etc.

This might be rather obvious, but over the years I've read fic I find that it's a quality and philosophy that doesn't come across often. I'll focus just on SI and OC-insert fics since that's the most relevant. Perhaps it's the type of fics I read, perhaps it's the fandoms, perhaps it's the demographic, perhaps we have too much practice in accepting some Everybody who is Everybody as a baseline regardless of how well that Everyone resonates with us personally.

Of course, not every fic is written for every audience. And different people will always have different perspectives. But I want you to ponder these metrics: I've read fanfic since 2003. Non-stop. I would average 20-50k words a week as a preteen, and ramped up from there. SI and OC make a big portion of what I engage with because I find it a fascinating examination of canon material using an external force, or something like that. They also have the potential to be deeply developed super quickly because we, as amateur authors, really can't help putting a lot of ourselves without filter into our creations. It can lead to polarizing feelings over them because of that.

It's been twenty years, and I can count on one hand the number of SI and OC fics where I legitimately felt that I understood where this character came from and they make sense to me. The rest...some I understood where they came from in the same way I need to empathize with the people around me so that I don't offend them. As a kid and teen, that meant ostracization and bullying. As a professional, it means missing opportunities, also getting bullied, being sabotaged, being used and tossed away. I have to show sympathy, bend my brain to see what makes them 'them' and see how sensible it is for them so that I can survive and thrive.

Some I had to accept that we either lived in vastly different realities in which such a character is sensible, and that's just the world we live in; or they're just bonkers. We move on.

I am compelled to write because I want to explore something that I find has not been explored. If it was already done to my satisfaction? I have literally felt my interest dip like a video game health bar in that situation.

My MCs as SIs cannot be divorced from my background. Ostensibly, that's the square-shaped brain with the math and engineering, the ADHD, and the internal snark. But those traits don't exist in a vacuum. Luckily my interests aligned with my parents' hopes and dreams for me as poor immigrants to the US and I am the first to have an advanced degree since my family has been wiped through the Cultural Revolution; though they were lucky enough to be sponsored by an aunt that married a missionary.

The ADHD was undiagnosed because god forbid I had Problems, "What do you mean Vermillion has problems? She's so bright! She never has to study! She has so much potential!" I have a brother who has problems, and both culturally American and Chinese I have been trained to Not Have Problems because I'm supposed to keep the household together. Plus, we're poor. We can't afford that! We're poor, we have family problems, AND our child has mental issues? They already say enough shit about Chinese people, jeeze.

The internal snark--it does hurt a bit inside whenever I see the reaction to my brand of humor in my fics as if it's meant to be expressed to tell people off, mic drop, actions having no consequences. You know what that is? It's coping. It's also developing the social wherewithal to be circumspect because your livelihood depends on it. And beyond just me, the internal pressure of carrying my family's expectations and wanting to not make their sacrifices in vain--that doubles the risk.

No fucking way do I mouth off without thinking (not since I was actually eight, and learning ever since), and that's why my characters are the way they are. We see a spectrum of them: Zhu Yunxun that needs to put up a front to maintain societal privilege and also is lucky to be born with money and lineage; SI!Taiga with money, physical + mental advantages, gender on his side, and talent; Lan Wenhui born into lineage, physical advantages, privilege, and talent, but still a woman; and now...Korvin Kwan with only the advantage of youth and male privilege. I am a point of departure for each of these and despite whatever gains that have been made with these new lives, I know myself well enough and have been burned before that it's instinctual to not grow into that privilege as if you've always had it.

Zhu Yunxun needs to walk a delicate tightrope of politics and intrigue and is wildly windmilling in the air, even if they're staying on.

SI!Taiga is so baffling to the Clown Gang because he doesn't act like a typical cocksure talented sports boy.

Lan Wenhui...she has her convolutions to be revealed.

Korvin is perpetually at the end of his fucking rope (like, what's Bat-WIng-Guy gonna do? Kill him for swearing? It'd at least cut out the middlemen for child trafficking), and just managed to trust Dick and Babs. Now that he has some sort of solid ground beneath him, that's where we get the chapter 4 code switching and masking.

Actions, and speaking is an action, have consequences and my SIs are me. They live with that philosophy.

We see ten million and one characters that like to loudly and boldly declare themselves, with the implication that they truly believe everything they say matters and will make a difference. They will be heard!

There's no catharsis for those who need to keep it in, where catharsis isn't actually worth it.

You might think: well, that's just on you. You choose to internalize this, you choose to make your family your pressure, you choose to not speak up--

And then I would point out, again, that culture and background makes people. Being diaspora, it influences what I find socially important. And it's even more important because I grew up poor. There's a realm of difference between the professional and well-off Chinese diaspora vs the ones that had to cram in the slums of Chinatown. My family was luckily not at the tail end, but we were nothing like the well-off (I'm lucky that we've essentially achieved the vaunted American Dream, now). To us growing up like that, family was your support network. Regardless of how shitty they are, what they do, the cost of cutting them out was rarely worth it.

And now that I've gone into my professional life--I'm lucky enough that I've either made others think they can't talk shit to my face, or my poker face was strong enough to survive the utter bullshit I've heard told to me like it was the weather. I thank them for their time, and I do what I need to do to navigate the situation. Usually, I don't have the power to do much but survive, so I did. And now, I've reached a point where 1) times are changing 2) I'm niche and competent enough that people are too busy listening to what I have to say than condescend me 3) I can shut them down if they do 4) the field I'm working in values circumspection as a whole.

===

Anyways, this is probably a big bubble burst for my fics. I know a lot of people enjoy them for the funnies, but the funnies come from somewhere. I think I build compelling characters and interpersonal relationships because I work to ground them in reality and what I know and have learned through my own experiences and needing to empathize with others.

My writing is my catharsis. Every time I'm able to resonate with someone out there, I'm happy if someone completely different from me can understand, and I'm even happier if I make another person like me feel seen.

Anyways, that's my kinda intense and sad TED talk, I need to go back to writing my application statement.

[prince-liest]

This may be an odd question, but I believe you mentioned you got into writing because of rp(or at least into fanfiction?) And I was wondering how you transitioned into writing solo? Most of my writing is/was with a partner, but I've been trying to write on my own, and I've found it incredibly difficult. I'm told that what I write is still good regardless, but I've a hard time both finding enthusiasm for it without a partner to bounce off of or finishing whatever I'm working on.

This might just be a me thing and more to do with being self-critical, but if you have any advice, I'd really appreciate it. I just want to figure out how to enjoy writing again without jumping through weird hoops for motivation.

(You may have already been comfortable writing even before rp and if that's the case, feel free to disregard this question.)

I'd tried to write a bit of fanfic before my RP days with limited success motivating myself, so it really was very much RP that got me the skills and ability to be able to write full-form fics!

But more than mechanical skill, mostly I think the issue you face is very similar to what I struggled with for a while when swapping to writing fanfic, which is that a lot of the reason RP is so easy and rewarding is because it's such a profoundly social activity. You write a few paragraphs and then you get social feedback immediately from your RP partner in the form of chatting about it and/or the RP response you get! With fanfiction, you have to write a whole damn piece or chapter, post it, and then hope that you get comments if you want engagement - and then those comments are inevitably going to be a little bit less personal if, like me, you RP OCs that you put a lot of yourself into rather than pre-existing characters!

The problem with doing things for the sake of extrinsic motivation is that it kills your intrinsic motivation to do those things. This isn't a moral flaw, it's a documented psychological effect! Nowadays I write primarily because I want to see the things I put into the world, but that's fucking easy for me to say when I also have a large reader base and really enthusiastic commentors, isn't it? And it took me a hot minute to figure out how to transition to motivating myself that way rather than because I wanted interaction.

My suggestion is, honestly, to find folks that hype you up! I kinda crested that barrier by getting possessed by writing demons and pounding out like 60k words of insane Hawks-centric character study in one month during the 2020 quarantine, and I was lucky enough that people really liked it and immediately flooded my notifications with the kind of really lovely, long-form comments that my writing style encourages, which isn't really a typical experience. Those folks that hype you up, it is LOVELY if they are your friends, but sometimes what you really need to do is find the small social circle of freaks that are really into whatever niche thing it is that you are writing, and infiltrate their Discord. Ship-specific groups are really good for this! (Especially for rarepairs.)

But a lot of it is really going to be finding the balance of finding supportive people who will feed into your excitement, and also finding that part of yourself that finds the process of writing to be fun. Social activity is still 100% just a necessary part of the human experience, and I myself post snippets of my writing online and on Discord all the time for the little dopamine hit of "Yay! We're enjoying this together!" but it's become something I do because I want to share the joy I already get from writing, not because I'm writing to share it!

Which also means that you should write things that you enjoy writing. ;) Write things you are actually excited about - not just things you want to read, but things you think would be fun to write, and if there are boring parts that you're getting stuck on? Fucking skip them! I am not kidding! You think anybody thought it was a loss that I literally never even mentioned how radiostatic got together for the first time in 666? If they did, nobody's mentioned it, because it wasn't necessary to the story I actually wanted to tell. Literally so goddamn many of my fics start with cold opens because I don't like to bother with exposition until things have already gotten rolling. Fanfiction especially is GREAT for this because people are already familiar with the world you're writing in!

You are writing to entertain yourself! If it's not entertaining, don't fucking write it! Or figure out what about it is boring you, and then write it differently. This will have the splendid side effect of teaching you how to write transitions and also making a fic that is more fun to read. >:)

Anyway, this has gotten quite long, so: I'm sorry that I wasn't able to offer a great deal of advice, because I relate deeply to what you're experiencing but I basically got to speedrun the transition phase. I hope that it was at least a little bit helpful!

[songsofsappho]

Back from (what I really hope to be) my last session of laser - and it has come to my attention not everyone knows about white vinegar.

Tgirls (and other queers getting laser hair removal) - my biggest tip when getting laser is to go home and rub WHITE vinegar on your face!

It's weird, and kinda gross, but it sucks the lingering heat right out of your skin. I've been doing it for over a year and swear by it.

Hey! Are you interested in starting laser or looking for advice? Lots more tips under the cut!

------

I should preface by saying I have very fair skin and had mostly dark brown hair when I started - reportedly the "ideal" combination for hair removal. YMMV! Also, I've only had laser done on my face and this information may not apply to other body parts.

Canadians

I live in Canada and there are some things that might not apply to other regions!

Check if there's a clinic near you that offers discounts based on your status as a trans person. I paid half price for my sessions by self-identifying and the clinic was (mostly) decent at interacting with a trans person.

Check if your insurance offers funds for the transition process. Mine took receipts from my clinic with no additional paperwork and covered about 80% of the cost, which can make the whole process much more palatable

Before you Start

Being on HRT (estrogen) makes a notable difference when it comes to laser. It thins out your hair and your skin. I started hair removal before HRT and probably went through some extra pain and cost as a result. That said, it made a big difference in my mental health to be working on my transition, and I'd never change that!

Laser is a commitment. I just had my twelfth session of the predicted 6 the clinic expected when I started. Be patient with yourself, and be mindful of the cost. Without insurance (but with the discount) I was paying $100-120 CAD/sesh.

Laser isn't for everyone and that's ok! There's a lot of pressure on trans people to heavily perform gender things just to be respected. The people that expect you to conform will probably always find a way to be dicks, and if you're happy with your body, your community will love you regardless.

This shit hurts. Obviously I only have my own pain tolerance, and the accounts of other girls, as a metric, but like, it hurts. It's so worth it for me but don't go in planning to be a stoic champion. I cry every time. My first 2-3 sessions I growled and whimpered through my treatment. Good aestheticians will keep working. If they make you feel bad for it, time to change clinics.

Try to make a day/evening of it. It's a physically and emotionally draining process and I do not recommend going back to work or out afterwards. It usually makes me sleepy too.

Getting Laser

There are ways to reduce some of your pain - please please please use them if you can. I use a topical anesthetic (5% lidocaine), rubbed in 30 minutes before each appointment. It helps, but it will still hurt

Be generous with the application of the anesthetic. All the way down your neck past your larynx, into the hairline beside your ears, up into your eye bags, on your lips, hell even into the nose a little. You will be able to tell when you missed a spot and it sucks.

When your roots are still thick (first 1-3 sessions), it feels like lightning crackling into your skin with each pulse of the machine. Not in a fun way. It hurts. It also smells like burnt popcorn.

Bring a stress ball or something you can clutch. I stretched out a shirt clinging to it during a session. I use my leather belt more recently.

Bring a lightweight, moisturizing sunscreen to put on after (if your clinic doesn't offer any). It won't help cool your skin, but it will help combat the dryness. You will also get a wicked sunburn afterwards if you're not careful.

Go right home afterwards, if you can. If you're driving, blast the A/C and point the fans at your face. It might dry your skin a bit, but it will help start cooling it down.

Once home, slather on that WHITE vinegar babyyyy. Wait about 20-30 minutes. Skin still warm? More. Skin feeling ok? Rinse off with cool water and use a light moisturizer.

2-3 days after your appointment, give the area a good exfoliating - this helps prevent ingrown hairs.

Try your best to schedule your next session 4 weeks later. It's ok if it's a little later, but it can't be sooner. I once went 7 weeks between sessions and it was fine, so don't freak out too much if there's delays.

REMEMBER, this is a process. Because of the way hair growth works, I find that after every THIRD session you start to see noticeable changes in your growth. Mine went wiry and dark > (after 3rd sesh) dark and patchy > (after 6th sesh) thin and blonde > (after 9th sesh) blonde, short, and stubbly > (12th sesh today) hopefully done!

If anyone has any questions I would be happy to answer 😘

[leechfur]

Hey, coming from someone who was groomed multiple times by proshippers when I was younger than even you are, you like NEED to get out of that community. That stuff isn't good for your head and will have a very real, very negative effect on your mental health regardless of it being fiction. I have (genuinely diagnosed) C-PTSD because of the stuff people in that community exposed me to and did to me.

The community is full of pedophiles. My case is not an isolated one. I know countless people who were groomed and abused by proshippers. Get out while you can.

im really sorry to hear about what you've been through. i hope you're on the path to recovery from such a terrible experience. and i. sincerely appreciate and understand your concern, but i'll be ok,.. i mostly only talk w my boyfriend and friends in rl because i don't like talking with others online. and the proshippers i *do* interact with online have been incredibly kind and accommodating.

it's delressing to hear about the negative experiences some people have had within the community , but iam confident that i will be alright. im not a dumb little kid and can recognize if something is weird and take appropriate action. ty, have a good day, and i kindly advise that you block me. i think that interacting with me, a proshipper, in any way will not be beneficial for your mental well-being considering your past trauamas.

[yeentosis]

I wanna talk about my name because I like it.

it's Dissonans, Dissonance, Disonancia, التنافر, Παραφωνία, વિસંવાદિતા, 不协和音, whatever the word for dissonance is in the language you refer to me in. I usually use the norwegian Dissonans regardless of language because I'm norwegian, but you can use whatever. My name isn't the phonemic content of the word, it's strictly the concept that it describes.

The reason I don't stick strictly to Dissonans and whatever transliterations of it in other langs (like you would usually expect of "regular" given names) is that I want anyone to understand my deal, no matter the language. If you know what dissonance is, you know something about me. In changing my name once already, I feel like I've lost all connection to any particular soundbite as an identifier anyway, so I'm not really invested in exactly what my name sounds like. Dissonans feels clunky and unnatural for me too, and it's kinda deliberate.

It's a musical term, because music means A Lot to me. it's one of my few evergreen special interests that never fades, just shifts in presentation. In fact dissonance is an essential part of so much music, you'd notice it if it disappeared. You should notice if I'm gone.

It's also dissonance in the sense of disagreement or discord. I don't get along with people that easily; usually if things go well it's because I have about a decade of deliberate practice and almost three decades of trauma guiding me through the labyrinth of human interactions. Now I don't want to suppress my own personality anymore, not for anyone, so I unmask. I get to be a queer, autistic, disabled weirdo - my authentic self - and people just have to deal with interactions feeling weird. This doesn't mean I'm a poor communicator, far from it! I am clear and friendly, I just don't wanna get bogged down in things like small talk or participate in annoying subtextual games. It's someone else's turn to feel like the odd one out.

There's also no one else with this name (as far as I've found, if your name is also Dissonance please get in touch!!). I'm not burdened by expectations of gender or weird cultural determinism like Lindas being grandmas or Rachels being rude and entitled; my name means ME. whatever values you assign to the word/name Dissonance are probably gonna be true and already accounted for, y'know?

Almost every person I've introduced myself to with my name has complimented it. It's not very clear how deeply they're thinking about it, but I have to assume that some part of it resonates with them and they don't know exactly how to put it into words, so they just say "nice name!" and call it a day. Even if they just admire it for being different, that's good enough I guess. Really though, this is another way for me to subtly yell at people "hey!!! the entire framework of societal rules of everything is malleable, if not wholly dismissible!!! you don't have to make yourself fit within confines you've been told are unbreakable!!!", and the hope is that once in a while it gives someone an epiphany.