#// this is also my sign to stop lurking in memes and actually send you one afdgshfjhjk

[wise-innocence]

reminder that you're wonderful and your yanfei is amazing thank you

This is the sweetest thing ever, thank you so much ;; Idk how you caught me at a time where I was having self doubt but this really means so much. Thank you lots <3<3

[jade4813]

The Lies We Tell Ourselves, Chapter 3

Fandom: Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist

Title: The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Rating: PG (I’m assuming it’ll stay there?)

Pairing: Zoey/Max

Synopsis: Max would do anything for Zoey. Including posing as her fake boyfriend to give her father one last “big moment” to celebrate with her. Nothing could possibly go wrong. After all, it’s only his heart that stands to be broken. Right?

Chapter: 3/?

Author’s Notes: Takes place after Zoey’s Extraordinary Glitch.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

What would she do without Max? It was a question she’d asked herself several times over the years, but never as often or with as much heartfelt gratitude as over the last few days. He couldn’t heal her father or take away her pain, but he had made her laugh over dinner and offered her silent support and unrelenting strength for the conversation that followed. And when she told him she wanted to spend the weekend alone in her apartment, processing her grief, he didn’t try to convince her to go out and be social. Instead, he spent the weekend sending her ridiculous memes and corny jokes that made her laugh and, for a few minutes at least, took her mind off her sorrow.

She was stepping out of the café, fortifying cup of coffee and lemon poppyseed muffin in hand, when her phone beeped to notify her of an incoming text. Zoey was smiling before she even grabbed her phone, already knowing who it would be. Her smile turned into a snort of laughter when she saw Max pick up their conversation from where they’d left it off the night before.

“I think we really need to get everyone at work in on this because it’s really important to me that you accept that you’re wrong. In fact, you’re so wrong, I’m a little worried about how you could think you were right about this.”

“You’re out of your mind! I’m totally right about this!” she wrote back quickly. “A T-Rex would totally take the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!”

Three ellipses appeared at the bottom of the screen, followed by Max’s response. “A T-Rex is 20 feet tall. Tops. Mr. Stay Puft was 112.5 feet. There’s no competition! One step and it’s over!”

Zoey had to veer to the edge of the sidewalk to perch on a concrete barrier was she typed out her reply. “Did you honestly just Google that?”

She didn’t have to wait long for his response. “Of course I did! This is serious business!”

“Dork.”

A few ellipses briefly showed up at the bottom of the screen, but when they disappeared, no message followed. She continued, “You’re forgetting that, according to Jurassic Park, the T-Rex is so much faster than the marshmallow man. AND he was a finely honed murderbeast. He gets a few lucky bites in on the legs, and it’s over!”

“T-Rex may be faster, but how wide is Stay Puft’s gait?”

She shook her head, looking around to make sure nobody saw the goofy smile on her face as she teased him over text, “I’m surprised you didn’t Google it.”

His response made her laugh out loud. “I tried, but I couldn’t find anything. The geeks of the Internet have really let me down.”

Zoey shot off one last quick text before picking up her coffee and muffin and resuming her walk to work. She was going to be late if she didn’t hurry. “Is this really what you think about in the morning when you’re getting ready for work? It’s a wonder you aren’t late more often.”

“I multitask.” A few minutes later, her phone chirped again. She paused long enough to throw her empty muffin bag into the trash and then read the message on the screen. “Can we at least agree that Godzilla could take both of them?”

“How tall is Godzilla?” she asked, absolutely certain he’d already looked it up.

“164 feet originally. The new Godzilla is about 984 feet tall. And, let’s face it. That’s ridiculous.” He was such an adorable dork.

“Oh, yeah. Totally. And Godzilla would toast them both.”

“Was that a pun? Did you actually just text me a pun??? If we weren’t already fake-dating, I’d fake-ask you out just for that.”

“I couldn’t help myself!”

Her self-satisfied smile morphed into a soft “aww” when she received his next text, with an attached photo. “Also, I saw puppy yesterday and thought of you. It’s in boots. BOOTS!”

Zoey was so distracted by Max’s texts that she was stepping on the elevator leading up to the SPRQ Point offices before she realized she hadn’t thought about her dad’s condition once that morning. She had absolutely no doubt that had been his purpose all along, but he was once again touched by his quiet thoughtfulness.

She was trying to think of the words to text him to express her gratitude when the elevator doors started to slide closed. At the last second, Simon darted through the opening and joined her on the elevator. “Hey,” he greeted her warmly, meeting her eyes briefly before their gazes darted away. “Listen, I was hoping that the two of us could talk. About what happened in my office the other day.”

She shifted her weight, edging away from him as she looked down at her feet and slipped her phone back into her pocket. “Yeah, I know. Look, I know that I made things complicated when I sang to you. I wish I could explain what happened to me that day, but I can’t.” She’d briefly considered telling him about her powers, but she doubted that would help the situation much. If anything, telling him their friendship started after she heard him singing about his sorrow when he was alone in the office would only complicate things. More than she had already. “I know this is going to be hard to believe, particularly given my behavior the other day. But I’m not trying to get between you and Jessica.”

He nodded slowly. “I know, and I appreciate that. I hope I haven’t given you the wrong impression. Ever since I lost my dad, it’s been nice to have someone to talk to who understands what I’ve been going through. You’re a good friend, Zoey. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” she reassured him with a smile. “I will always be your friend, Simon. I think we just need time, you know?” Before he could point out the obvious, she winced and let out an apologetic little laugh, trying to cover her embarrassment with a joke. “Okay, I know I said that before, but this time, lap dances are totally off the table. I promise.”

He grinned over at her. “So that’s not something you do with all your friends? That’s a shame.”

“Not really. I was trying something new. I wouldn’t recommend it.” The elevator doors slid open, and she stepped through, expecting that Simon would turn immediately towards his office. Instead, he followed her.

“Can I ask you a question? You and Max. Are the two of you…?”

She hesitated, looking around to make sure they weren’t being overheard. In all honesty, she wasn’t entirely sure what to say. They’d talked about maintaining the fiction for her family, but they’d failed to address whether their lie would carry over into work. Or maybe they’d deliberately avoided it. Either way, she wasn’t sure what she should tell Simon now. She wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted to tell him. “Me and Max?” She glanced around the office, but it appeared she’d beaten Max to the office.

At a loss, she shook her head. “No, we’re friends. Just friends.” But even though she knew it was the truth, the words tasted like a lie. Or a betrayal. She was Max’s boss, so it was entirely possible that their unusual arrangement could cause problems for them at work. It was possible he would prefer to keep it between them. On the other hand, if he didn’t, it would undoubtedly hurt him to know she was denying it – particularly to Simon. “Well, I mean…I guess we’re kind of dating. Maybe?”

His eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Maybe kind of dating? What does that mean?”

Heaving a heavy sigh, she mumbled, “It means…it’s complicated?” If her life was going to continue being so convoluted, she was going to have to find different ways to describe it or quantify it on a sliding scale of difficulty or something. She should buy a thesaurus, at the very least. “The thing is, we haven’t been dating for very long, I guess? And I’m not even sure if that’s how we would describe it! Or that Max would describe it that way. As dating, I mean.” Did it sound too much like she assumed he wouldn’t want to admit it, like she thought he’d be embarrassed by their relationship? She scrambled to recover. Waving one hand helplessly in the air, she blurted, “Or maybe he would! You should ask him.” Wait. What if Simon asked him before she’d had a chance to warn him, and Max panicked and said the wrong thing? “Later. Or not!” For crying out loud, this was getting ridiculous. She had to stop. She was only making it worse.

Simon didn’t seem put off by her ridiculous rambling. “Well, whatever’s going on with you two, he’s a very lucky guy.”

“Thanks,” she told his retreating back as he headed toward his office. She couldn’t waste time reliving her conversation with Simon, picking apart every sentence to torture herself with thoughts of what she should have done differently. She had to catch Max before anything else happened.

She tried to find reasons to casually lurk near the elevators. She was pretending to examine some chipped paint near the baseboard when she saw him enter. “Max!” she hissed, jumping to her feet.

He let out a small yelp of surprise, spinning around to face her. “Zoey! You almost gave me a heart attack!”

She didn’t wait for him to catch his breath. “I need to talk to you. Meet me in the meditation room in five minutes. Act natural! Oh, and don’t talk to anyone.” Without waiting for him to respond, she walked back to her desk, projecting such a forced air of nonchalance that she felt she might as well hold up a neon sign saying she was up to no good.

Still, when she snuck into the meditation room a few minutes later, she found him already waiting for her there. He rushed up to her, framing her shoulders in his hands. “Zoey, what’s going on? Is everything okay?”

“It’s funny you ask me that, because you’re going to have to tell me. The thing is – and I know I should have talk to you about this first – but we have to pretend to be dating here. At work.”

Whatever he’d expected, she could tell by the expression on his face it hadn’t been that. “Okay. I guess that’s…okay.” She saw a line form between his brows as he tried to process the ramifications of what she was saying. “Why? What happened?”

She crossed her arms over her chest and stepped out of his reach, burning off some nervous energy by pacing back and forth. “I kind of panicked when I was talking to Simon this morning.”

“Simon? You told Simon? Why – how did it come up?”

She didn’t even need to look at him to hear the astonishment in his voice. In fact, not looking at him was easier. “He sort of…asked me if there was something going on between us, and I said we were maybe kind of dating.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Max shake his head, as though trying to clear away some mental cobwebs. “Simon asked you if there was something between us. And you told him – Simon – that we were dating,” he reiterated.

Rolling her eyes, Zoey turned on him. “Are you planning on repeating everything I say? Because we don’t have a lot of time before people realize we’re hiding out in here and get suspicious!”

“I seriously doubt anyone has noticed we’re missing,” he reassured her. “And, no, I won’t repeat everything you say. I’m just…processing. Making sure I’m clear about what happened. You know, to make sure I have our story straight.” But he didn’t look like he was overly concerned with nailing down the details. In fact, he looked overjoyed. If she didn’t know any better, she’d swear he was practically glowing from the grin on his face.

Her eyes narrowing in suspicion, she said, “I hope you’re not getting the wrong idea. This doesn’t really change anything.” She remembered how he’d reacted when she’d unwillingly sung him a love song, and she didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. Again.

“I know,” he agreed, a little too readily.

“And you’re okay with keeping up our act here at work? It might cause some problems with Joan.”

His smile didn’t so much as falter. “I can honestly say, whatever happens with Joan, I’m totally fine with it.”

Zoey stared at Max for a long moment, wondering if she should ask why he wasn’t upset that their personal fiction was going to interfere with their professional lives. He seemed to be in an inordinately good mood, given she’d just lobbed a bomb at him. But maybe it was a better idea to leave well enough alone. From his texts throughout the morning, he’d seemed to be in a good mood. Maybe she was just being paranoid.

While she wrestled with whether or not to press him on the issue, he rubbed his hand together and said, “Anyway, I should probably get back to work before I get in trouble with The Boss for goofing off.”

Somewhat reassured that he’d taken the decision out of her hands, she gestured toward the door. “Oh, yeah. We wouldn’t want that! I hear your boss is a real task master!”

“She can be,” he agreed, and though he’d been the one to suggest he take his leave, he lingered by her side. “But I have a soft spot for her anyway.”

He leaned down, and for a second, she could have sworn he was about to kiss her. Her breath caught in her throat and she froze, staring at him with wide eyes as she waited to see what he would do. After a moment’s hesitation, he turned his head and brushed his lips across her cheek. Bewildered by an unexpected sense of disappointment, Zoey didn’t move and found herself entirely unable to speak as she watched him leave, humming merrily to himself as he walked out the door.

She had told Simon about their fake-relationship. She had told Simon about their fake-relationship! Of all people, she had told Simon about their fake-relationship!

Barely able to believe it, he kept repeating the words to himself, over and over. Of course, he knew it didn’t really matter. It certainly didn’t mean anything. It didn’t mean that she might have decided that she wanted to choose love over attraction, after all. It didn’t mean that she would want to pursue a relationship with him at some point. It didn’t even mean that she’d made a decision about what she really wanted. It didn’t mean anything.

But it felt like it meant something – or like it could mean something, at least. It felt like it could mean a lot.

It didn’t matter what happened with the rest of his day. He doubted his mood would be brought down, even if Joan fired him for his supposed relationship. Simon had asked Zoey what was going on between the two of them – and Max would love to know what had prompted that question – and she could have said anything. She could have denied it. She could have evaded the question. She could have even told him the truth, that it was all pretend. Instead, she’d told him they were dating.

Nope. Nothing could possibly bring down his day. He was in such a good mood, he found himself singing softly as he headed back to his desk. In fact, he was having a hard time resisting the urge to break out into an impromptu dance. “I used to think maybe you loved me, now baby I’m sure. And I just can’t wait ‘til the day when you knock on my door. Now every time I go to the mailbox, gotta hold myself down. Cause I just can’t wait ‘til you write me you’re coming around.

“I’m walking on sunshine, whoa! I’m walking on sunshine, whoa! I’m walking on sunshine, whoa! And don’t it feel good?”

[colbybrocksmolder]

Tumblr – Colby Brock x Reader

Tumblr is…a mixed bag. You’d made some of your closest internet friends on this poorly run website, but you’d also received more than your share of crazy fangirl hate. What’s crazy though, is how easy it is to make friends in the Sam and Colby fandom on Tumblr. 99% of everyone you’ve met is super nice and the group kind of shuts down the haters pretty quickly.

This last round of drama kind of wore everyone down. It all started with a hate anon that your friend DaddyDobrock received. “If Sam and Colby saw half of what you guys wrote on here they wouldn’t want you as fans 🙄.” She handled it well. She laughed and told the anon to lighten up and fuck off. You guys were pretty used to petty hate anons and rarely answer them, but boy was this asshole persistent.

Absolute-randomness-forever replied to a similar message with “If you don’t like what we post, don’t follow us?” Again, not really feeding into any drama.

Sp00kybrock got one trying to get her opinion on the whole thing. “Don’t you think most of the Sam and Colby tumblr fandom is toxic? Like, I bet Colby would cringe so hard if he went on this site. 🙄” She defended her friends, laughing it off. “My friends and I aren’t toxic. We post memes and joke around, but we support the boys 100%.”

Jakeywebber commented on a few of the new posts. “Does this person even watch the boys? They obviously don’t know that their sense of humor is exactly like ours.”

The anons continued to come in, a few other people getting them but not replying. They always ended with 🙄. The problem with one toxic anon is that they attract others that want to feed into the drama, and soon the hate is taken too far.

Someone got an anon telling them to kill themselves. Eye rolling emoji included. The blog posted the anon with no comment other than “deleting now” and went offline. To say that the rest of you were up in arms is an understatement. Lightenupbrock, that-one-brock-boy, badassbrock, the-sun-is-dark, colbyjacksmack, rewindfridaynight, xplr-lurker, brockboytrashz…you all jumped in and defended your friend. You sent them messages making sure they were okay, trying to convince them not to delete.

*Twitter notification* Colby Brock Tweeted : “FYI we see more than you think we see. Don’t pretend to be our fan and then treat other fans like shit. Especially anonymously. 🙄”

Daddydobrock posted “Anyone else see this?” with a screenshot of the tweet.

A few of the others reblogged it, adding comments. By the end of the thread, your group of friends was convinced that Colby either had a tumblr or occasionally lurked on it.

*tumblr messages*

Xplr-lurker : Hey, have you heard from the girl that got the kys anon?

You and Xplr-lurker had been tumblr friends for about 6 months. They messaged you after they saw how you interacted with the other blogs. You were always helpful, kind, encouraging…You had a reputation for being a sweetheart and Xplr-lurker had messaged you thanking you for it. You two became friends pretty quickly, asking how each other’s days went and such. Neither of you ever really posted your personal info on your blogs, but you knew a bit about each other. You both lived in Cali, you were about the same age, and you loved sending each other super emo tumblr posts when you were bored. Usually hella late at night. He knew you were a girl and you knew he was a guy. Other personal details kind of trickled through in your everyday interactions.

Y/n : Yeah. She doesn’t want to be online for a while, but she isn’t going to delete her blog. I gave her my phone number just in case she needed to talk.

Xplr-lurker : I figured you would 😊 I’m glad she’s okay.

Y/n : Me too.

Y/n : Hey, did you see Colby’s tweet? I think he saw all of this go down. I mean, maybe I’m just assuming too much, but he ended a tweet about anon hate with that stupid eye roll emoji just like the anon does.

Xplr-lurker : I mean, he said he checks his dms all the time. Maybe someone sent it to him?

Y/n : Maybe.

Y/n : Honestly, I’m just as mad for him and Sam as I am for the girl. How shitty is it that they have to watch the people who call themselves fans treat other fans like garbage? And they can’t do a thing about it.

Xplr-lurker : That sounds like it would suck.

Y/n : Right?

You had written a whole big post about how hypocritical it was for this toxic anon to accuse everyone else of being bad for the fandom when they were so willing to go out of their way to harm other fans. You reminded them about the videos Sam and Colby used to post about being confident and helping others. Their entire YouTube career started with them making videos wanting to help people. Just like every other post, you signed it with two black heart emojis. 🖤🖤

You had continued talking to xplr-lurker as you wrote the post. Venting a little bit about how frustrated you were.

*Twitter notification* Colby Brock Tweeted : “Don’t worry, we know there are amazing fans out there, too. 🖤🖤”

Y/n : Dude. I think I’m paranoid, now.

Xplr-lurker : What do you mean?

Y/n : Nothing. I’m exhausted. I just need sleep, lol. You do too, nerd. You said you needed to be up by 9 and it’s already 4am.

Xplr-lurker : Holy shit, my friend is going to kill me if I’m falling asleep tomorrow, haha.

Y/n : Haha, good luck! I’ll talk to you later.

Xplr-lurker : Thanks. Sweet dreams.

See, it’s pretty common for social media influencers to have secret accounts. It gives them a way to like posts and follow fans without starting drama. After collabing with CrankThatFrank, Colby was convinced to make a tumblr. He picked Xplr-lurker so that it made sense for him to interact with his own fans. He mostly just reblogged cool edits and funny traphouse memes. He’d comment on funny posts and throw his two cents in on theories and gossip. For the most part, it was kind of fun. People on tumblr were brutally honest but fucking hilarious. He never planned on talking about tumblr or letting anyone he interacted with on tumblr know that he was behind the username…but then he found your blog. He’d contemplated telling you for a few weeks now. The two of you talked almost every night and he felt bad. He felt like he was lying to you.

He’d first messaged you just to say a quick thanks for being so positive in the fandom, but the more he talked to you the more he kept wanting to talk to you.

The 🙄 anon stopped sending people messages after Colby’s tweet. Your friends on tumblr were able to go back to posting ridiculous screenshots and cool photo edits over the next week or so. You’d reblogged a gif of Colby about to lose his shorts on a waterslide with the caption “I feel like Elton has been trying to get Colby naked in vlogs since the start of TFIL”.

Xplr-lurker : *sent waterslide post*

Xplr-lurker : This is a fat fact. Lol.

Y/n : Right? Hahahahaha

Xplr-lurker : I think he does it for views.

Y/n : Probably. It’s the same reason Colby gets shirtless in his own videos. He knows people will click the thumbnail, haha.

Colby sat on his balcony laughing. You were absolutely right.

Xplr-lurker : Is that why you clicked?

Y/n : Haha, nah. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a beautiful human being. You’d have to be blind not to see that. But I found Colby through TFIL.  

Xplr-lurker : What made you keep watching him then?

Colby felt bad for baiting you out, but his curiosity got the better of him. As far as you knew, he was just another fan. This is when he’d get your most honest answer.

Y/n : A lot. First, he’s a huge goofball. Watching him and his friends do dumb shit to make each other laugh is the best.

Y/n : And everything him and Sam have done together? Those two dudes are fearless. They just remind me that I’m the only one holding myself back, you know? One day I’ll actually get out of my own way and make something of myself.

Y/n : He also seems super genuine. He never seems afraid to speak his mind or call something like it is. It actually bums me out watching some of his “friends”, If you know what I mean. I know that not everything they put out there is 100% accurate to how they actually are in real life, but I hate that slimy feeling I get knowing that a lot of them use Sam and Colby and don’t actually give a shit.

Y/n : I know I sound like a massive fangirl at this point, haha. I think I just needed to get that off my chest.

Colby sat there trying to figure out how to respond. He had a huge grin on his face seeing you spill your guts like you did.

Xplr-lurker : Haha, don’t worry about it. You just sound like you care. That’s not a bad thing.

Over the next few weeks, you guys continued to talk like normal, but it got a little more personal. He wanted to be able to call you a friend, but he was still afraid to tell you who he actually was. You two talked more about your passions and the things you struggle with. You’d always sent each other music to check out, but he’d confessed that he’d been dabbling in trying to write lyrics. He needed to find a way to talk to you as COLBY and not xplr-lurker.

*Twitter notification* Colby Brock Tweeted : “You feel so close but in reality I’m sitting here on my balcony alone.”

One of your tumblr friends had screenshot the tweet, adding the caption “This is how it feels to have better friends on the internet than in real life.”

You reblogged it and tagged xplr-lurker. You added “I wouldn’t trade our late-night talks for the world.”

Xplr-lurker : *sent tagged post*

Xplr-lurker : Yeah?

Y/n : Duh. You know that.

Xplr-lurker : Same.

Colby sat there, his fingers hovering over the keyboard on his phone.

*Twitter notification* Colby Brock Tweeted : “1 like = 1 ‘don’t be a pussy’ whispered in my ear.”

Xplr-lurker : Not to sound like a creepy internet person, but have you ever met any of your internet friends in real life?

Y/n : Haha, I don’t think you’re creepy. And yes! I’ve met a few of them. Why?

Xplr-lurker : I know we live in the same city and I’ve always wondered if you’d want to get coffee or something.

Y/n : That would mean that you’d get to see how awkward and clumsy I am in real life. I don’t know if I’m willing to put you through that, hahaha.

Colby laughed. That response was better than the “fuck off, creeper” he expected.

Xplr-lurker : Oh, shut up. You’d be the one dealing with me being awkward.

Y/n : Suuuuuuure. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.

Y/n : I’m actually walking home from my favorite coffee shop right now, haha. It’s called 101. They’re open until 3 am and they have the best food.

Xplr-lurker : WHY ARE YOU WALKING ALONE SO LATE AT NIGHT?!

It was well past 2am and the thought of you walking the streets of LA by yourself kind of had Colby on edge.

Y/n : I live like 5 minutes away. Don’t worry.

Colby pulled up 101 Coffee Shop on his phone. It was less than a 10 minute drive from his apartment. *We actually live pretty close* he thought, switching back to the tumblr app.

Xplr-lurker : Tell me when you make it home safe. LA is scary at night.

Xplr-lurker : Also, that coffee shop is not far from me. If you ever want to meet up there, I’m down.

Y/n : I just walked in my front door. Stop worrying, mom.

Y/n : And I’ll be headed back there tomorrow around midnight. My roommate’s boyfriend is obnoxious and he comes over every night around then. I usually hang out at the coffee shop and work on stuff on my laptop for a few hours.

Xplr-lurker : I’m glad you’re safe. I’ll definitely try to make it there tomorrow.

Y/n : I’ll be the one with the messy bun, laptop, and baggy Y&R hoodie, lol.

Xplr-lurker : If I don’t chicken out, I’ll wear an XPLR hoodie.

Y/n : Well I need to go to sleep. If I don’t see you tomorrow, I’m sure I’ll still talk to you on here.

Xplr-lurker : For sure! Have a good night!

Y/n : You too. 🖤🖤

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.” Colby said, sighing. This was it. He was either going to walk into that coffee shop and blow his cover or he was going to chicken out like a little bitch.

The whole next day he had a hard time paying attention to anything or anyone. He was too busy trying to figure out the best way to tell you who he was.

“Colby!” Sam laughed, waving his hand in front of his friend’s face.

“What? Sorry.” Colby said, shaking his head and turning towards Sam.

“You okay?” Sam asked. Colby just stared at him for a minute. “I’m going to take that as a no?”

“I’m not, not okay.” Colby answered, sounding cryptic.

“Okaaaayyy.” Sam said slowly. “Care to explain?”

“I’m just nervous to meet up with someone later.” Colby tried to sound casual. “It’s nothing big. I’m just anxious, I guess.”

“Who?” Sam asked.

“A girl I met online.” Colby said, waiting for Sam to tease him.

Sam furrowed his brows. “Like on a dating app?”

“No.” Colby shook his head. “She’s a fan.”

Sam made a confused face. “Not to make it sound like I think you’re stupid, but are you being catfished again?” He laughed.

Colby couldn’t help but crack a smile, hiding his face behind his hands. “No, actually. I don’t even know what this girl looks like.”

“What?!” Sam asked, confused.

“That’s not the weirdest part.” Colby said, peeking through his fingers at his best friend. “She doesn’t know I’m me.”

“Is this for a video or something?” Sam asked, not understanding at all what was going on.

“Nope. I made an account to interact with fans and we just kind of clicked.” Colby tried explaining. “We’ve been friends for like 6 months, but we only ever talk through our usernames. The more I say this out loud the crazier it sounds.” Colby laughed.

“Sooooo, you’ve never seen a picture of her?” Sam asked.

“Nope. Not for sure. I THINK I found her personal blog, but I could be wrong.” Colby answered. “I only know her name because it’s in her profile, but she’s never asked me mine.”

“Is she going to be mad?” Sam asked, trying to wrap his head around the whole thing.

“That’s kind of why I’m so nervous.” Colby said, biting his lip. “She told me where she’s going to be tomorrow night and I don’t know if I should just show up or if I should rip the band-aid off and tell her who I am in our dms before we’re supposed to meet up.”

Sam had a blank stare on his face. “I honestly have no idea how to help you.”

“Don’t feel bad. I don’t know how to help myself.” Colby laughed.

“Tell me how it goes?” Sam asked.

“Of course.” Colby nodded, zoning out again.

At around 11:30pm you’d walked to the coffee shop. You ordered a drink and your late dinner and sat down in the corner booth. You worked on some things you were currently writing and gone through and caught up with your emails. At about 1am, you’d convinced yourself your tumblr friend had chickened out.

Right around 12:30am, Colby was stood in front of the coffee shop he was supposed to meet you at. There were only a few people currently in the shop, so it was pretty easy to figure out which one was you. He’d taken a deep breath and walked through the door, darting to the counter when he started to panic. With his back to you, he ordered a coffee. *I don’t even like coffee* he thought to himself. He kept peeking at you from the pick-up counter while he waited for his order. You had headphones in your ears, mouthing the lyrics to whatever song you were listening to. When the barista called out his name, he grabbed his coffee and left the shop.

Xplr-lurker : I’m stuck.

Xplr-lurker : You’re normally the person I go to for advice, but I feel like it’s unfair to put this one on you.

Xplr-lurker : You’re beautiful, btw.

You looked up from your computer, searching for your friend.

Y/n : Thank you? Are you here?

Xplr-lurker : I was. I chickened out. I kind of panicked.

Y/n : Aww, I promise you have no reason to panic. So why are you stuck? I’m always here to listen and give advice when I think I can help. You know that.

Colby sighed, sitting in his car.

Xplr-lurker : I guess it’s better just to come out with it.

Xplr-lurker : My name is Colby.

You waited a few seconds for further explanation.

Y/n : Okay? I don’t get it.

Xplr-lurker : Like, I am Colby Brock. I made this account to interact with fans.

Y/n : Please tell me you’re just fucking with me as a friend and not a delusional fanboy that’s trying to actually convince me he’s someone he’s not.

*Great* you thought to yourself. Not only did you have to walk home at night by yourself in LA, now you had to keep an eye out for a crazy person who wanted you to believe they were Colby. You thought this person was your friend and now you were afraid to leave the coffee shop.

Xplr-lurker : Neither? I know I fucked up by not telling you sooner.

Y/n : Well, since whoever is on the other end of this message knows I’m here alone, I’m going to call my roommate to pick me up. You know, you were really cool. You were my favorite person to talk to. This really sucks. You didn’t have to be anyone but yourself.  

When Colby tried to reply to your message, the chat said that he had been blocked. “Oh, fuck.” He said, jumping back out of his car. When he got to the door of the coffee shop, he could see that you were packing up your stuff.

“Y/n!” he called from the door, walking towards your booth.

Your eyes flew towards the boy walking in your direction, your hands frozen holding your laptop.

Colby slowly slid into the other side of the booth you were sitting in, putting his phone down with the tumblr app open. “I’m so sorry.”

“What the fuck?” you whispered, still not moving.

“You have every right to be mad at me and I swear I never meant to freak you out. I didn’t really think it through when I told you who I was. Is your roommate coming?” He asked, talking so fast you could barely process what he was saying.

You sat your laptop down and grabbed his phone. “My roommate wouldn’t come pick me up even if I did call her.” You said, looking at the tumblr app on Colby’s phone. You were the only person he had messaged.

“You were going to walk?” Colby asked, grabbing his phone when you handed it back to him.

“I was going to order an Uber.” You laughed. “This is crazy. You’re crazy.”

“Are you mad?” Colby’s face was apprehensive, waiting for you to tell him to fuck off.

“A little.” You nodded, laughing. “You asked me questions about yourself! I fangirled to you about you!” You remembered, covering your now blushing cheeks with your hands, hiding your face.

He laughed. “I feel the need to say this in person…You’re beautiful.” He watched as you peeked over your fingers. “And I’m the one that should be embarrassed about that, not you.”

“Why did you ask me to meet if you didn’t want me to know who you were?” You asked, remembering that this whole thing was his idea.

He laughed, reaching to grab one of your hands. “I’ve been trying to nut up and tell you who I am for over a month.”

“Why me? You didn’t even know what I looked like?” You were still trying to take in the fact that Colby Brock was sitting here in your favorite coffee shop holding your hand.

“I didn’t really care what you looked like. You’ve been a great friend to me since we first started talking and I was just some random person you met online…That has nothing to do with how someone looks.” He explained, blushing before continuing. “The fact that you’re also adorable is just an added bonus.”

You laughed, pulling your hand out of his so you could re-do your messy bun that was currently falling. “This is crazy. I want to re-read everything I’ve ever sent to you to make sure I didn’t make a complete fool out of myself.”

“Y/n.” Colby laughed. “You didn’t. I promise. There’s not a single thing you’ve told me that I don’t like.”

You stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out what the hell you were supposed to do now. “I have one question.” You said, leaning your elbows on the table.

“Ask away.” He answered, leaning forward the same way you were.

“What’s the REAL reason Elton always tries to get you naked in his vlogs?” You smirked, hearing Colby bust a gut laughing.

“Honestly, I’ve questioned it myself. The only answer that keeps me sane is clickbait.” He shook his head. “So, we’re good?” he asked.

“I mean, I don’t know WHAT we are, but I hope it isn’t bad.” You laughed.

“Well, we’ve been friends for over 6 months. I’d like to still claim that even though you know now that I’ve been a dumbass this entire time.” He smiled.

“I think I can deal with that.” You smiled back at him.

“Should I push my luck and ask you if I can buy you another coffee?” He asked, a shy look on his face. “I think coffee is disgusting, but I hear coffee shops make for great first dates.”

“You went from being afraid to show your face to asking me on a date.” You laughed.

“Well?” Colby said, waiting for your answer.

You nodded, your cheeks turning pink. “I’d love another coffee.”

I can remove any of the tumblrs I’ve used if you’re uncomfortable being mentioned. @daddydobrock @absolute-randomness-forever @sp00kybrock @jakeywebber @lightenupbrock @that-one-brock-boy @badassbrock @the-sun-is-dark @colbyjacksmack @rewindfridaynight @brockboytrashz 

[topweeklyupdate]

TØP Weekly Update #26: I Saw a Concert This Week, and I Don’t Even Know If That’s the Most Exciting Thing (2/19/16)

Basically, just read the title, we’ve got too much stuff to cover this week, let’s goooooooooo!

This Week’s TØPics:

Grammy Win: Yes, It’s a Week Old, But Let’s Just Reminisce, Shall We?

New Video Series: Who Are the Sleepers? (oof, that might be the most click-bait thing i’ve ever written, someone remind me to edit that ou- you, hush, you’re not supposed to be reading my notes)

Interview Recaps: Blurryface Returning For Future Projects?

Upcoming Shows: Southwest to Southeast in One Week

Major News and Announcements:

Obviously, the biggest news since the last time I posted a full update is from the Grammys: they fricking won one, and they did it pantsless. Everyone and their Mom knows: I even did a Mini-Update because I knew I couldn’t go seven days without acknowledging it, so I won’t go too far in-depth. But, suffice to say, they slayed, rubbing elbows with entertainment elites, being imitated by James Cordon, getting the attention of everyone from Gordon Ramsay to the Rock on Twitter, bowing to Celine Dion, killing it on the red carpet with their plus-ones (Josh brought Jenna, his mom, and his sister, while Josh brought his brother Jordan- all, frankly, looked right at home among Hollywood’s most beautiful.

The only other main “news” story (if you could call it that) is that Mark has started releasing another tour diary video series. The soon-to-be five-part series comes with a unique title, “Sleepers”, and the first one is mainly edited around the song included in the title of the video, “We Don’t Believe What’s On TV”, including a soundcheck acoustic performance of the track. Does that mean that “Sleepers” refers to “sleeper hits” and that every episode will feature a performance of a Blurryface song that never got to be a radio hit? Does the title have something to do with “Oh Ms. Believer”? Is it a hint at the next album? Will I ever get a life? The world may never know.

Anywho, the important thing is that this honestly might be the best video Mark’s ever shot- it’s edited so, so dang well. Plus, it features a lot of Josh, which is always a great thing: his interviews here contain him confessing that their last break was driving him crazy (hopefully a good sign that they’ll try to make the next one short), wandering the streets of Newark at night and talking to folks out of a desire to see more than just a lot of dressing rooms during his touring experience, and him and Tyler recreating one of the band’s most iconic Vines on a treadmill (#TruFans will know).

Performances, Interviews, and Other Shenanigans:

Holy crap, I can’t believe I complained about too few interviews last week. *deep breath* OK. Let’s go.

First, I need to acknowledge that I went to their second show in Anaheim. While the first show apparently had some problems involving screwed up communication between early campers and venue security, things seemed to have all fallen into place, save for the minor hitch of Tyler having a bit of a cold that added a bit of extra nasal to his speaking voice and, as he humorously noted on stage, caused him to sneeze on-stage for the first time in their career. That wasn’t the only nifty thing from a show this week- as pictured above, Tyler gave Josh a Valentine’s Day rose in Fresno, and the first Anaheim show was attended by Kate Hudson (who praised the band on Ellen, #TOPonEllen) Muse frontman Matt Bellamy, and their young children, as well as (if Twitter is to be believed) Gerard Way himself.

The first Anaheim show was preceded by an awesome acoustic set for an L.A. radio station (I’ve missed those, wish they did more). Highlights include:

An acoustic remix/mashup of “Ride” with the “House of Gold” (and “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”) instrumentation that’s just too good for words.

Tyler trying to get a kid in the audience to sing parts of “Stressed Out” and oh my God he’s such a freaking dad.

When asked, Tyler confirms that the break between album cycles will be longer than previous ones- he says that he can’t write without singing his lyrics, and that means he can’t write much when he has to be careful about maintaining his voice on their almost-daily touring schedule. He also says that he enjoyed getting to be an actual person during the last break, from doing stuff around the house like fixing the toilet and changing the oil to just being able to drive himself around and remember “Oh yeah, you can turn right on red”. That said, he doesn’t really want to take too long off, especially when he knows what its like when artists he enjoys take off years at a time. He also trolls the audience at one point, asking “What do you guys want to hear? Cool, new album.” (Oof, this is torture.)

He talks a bit about the Grammys, namely getting texts from everyone he’s ever known (including his mom’s neighbor), probably stealing his speech from a Disney movie, and it being cold.

On collaborations like with Mutemath, Tyler emphasizes that he knows that people can tell when they are done just for the sake of marketing, and he firmly believes that collaborative art should come from a place of friendship (more on that later, although my conspirical (sic) brain has to note that it sure sounds like Tyler might have done more than just the Mutemath collab... I’m still watching you, labelmates).

Beyond that, there were also a bunch of other interviews that surfaced this week. The huge profile of the Grammy win earned them a couple of news spotlights, one from a Grammy after party where Jenna gets to answer a question or two, another from the local Columbus station going over the bands’ history in the town that’s just too cute for words. As far as interviews, highlights include:

SiriusXM, New York (Fan Submitted Questions):

They’re lurking on Twitter, watching those “buggers” that are making fun of them. Thankfully, that means we’re safe on Tumblr.

Being a bean helps Tyler escape awkward social situations.

Josh thinks that all of the fans who yell “I love you!” aren’t really thinking through the full ramifications of that statement, and that they really mean “I respect you”.

Tyler’s dad sends him band memes all the time, which led to him getting blocked.

“TB Saga” and “Coconut Sharks” don’t get played live because singing and playing the drums is difficult when you’re overwhelmed with emotion.

Every time they see someone with a band tattoo, Tyler and Josh are forced to acknowledge that they have to stay together “for the kids”. You heard the men. You know what to do.

Kevin Klein Line, Live 105, Bay Area:

Not sure how I feel about the interviewers being more sarcastic than the boys. There’s something fundamentally wrong about that.

“Baby Sized Man” may be a future single.

Future projects will be focused on the all-important Mom demographic.

106.5 Sacramento:

Tyler’s Grammy wins mean that more than a few folks are now obliged to get some tattoos.

This is big: Blurryface might not be retired for the next album. Tyler says that he continues to get new ideas about the same kind of ideas that Blurryface is based around. More on that in the BLIND SPECULATION section below.

10N1 Sacramento:

Tyler and Josh would not descend from the ceiling in the style of Gaga if they got the chance to play the Super Bowl. Giraffes, on the other hand...

Josh attributes his physique to Reeses Puffs and cinnamon. Cool, I’m almost there.

New Rock 104.1, Fresno:

“Dude, you’re like the best bro in the world.” -Tyler Joseph to Josh Dun, 2017 (Context: Pointing out that Josh totally could have let Tyler walk onstage solo and left him looking like an idiot.)

Josh explains the difficulty he faced getting his dress pants off.

An eating contest with Josh might replace Mario Kart in future shows (though it presents some potential nausea problems.

It’s not a Twenty One Pilots interview, but worth mentioning: Jon Bellion, who notoriously revealed that he’d be opening for the band months before it was officially announced, might have confessed that their teams might be collaborating on something.

As an update from last week: the full video from Andy Signs’ performance with the band last week was posted, and it’s so sweet. Twenty One Pilots have actually been up to all sorts of cool fan things this week, from meeting with more Make a Wish kids on the Grammy red carpet to hanging out with Kate Hudson’s kids before the first Anaheim show.

Upcoming Shows:

After spending most of last week in a single state, this week of touring has some real geographic range, pretty much spanning from one side of the United States to the other. Let’s take a quick look at the varied locales, shall we?

Show 23: Tucson Arena, Tucson, Arizona, 2/19

Capacity: 7,400

First stop is Tucson, the second largest city in Arizona. Twenty One Pilots has played six shows in the state capital of Phoenix, but poor Tucson has always been passed over for its neighbor two hours to the north, which both services more people and is physically closer to other potential tour stops. That will change tonight.

The arena at the Tucson Convention Center usually hosts the hockey team of the University of Arizona. It’s a smaller venue for this tour, but there aren’t many bigger options for this area.

Show 24: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma, 2/21

Capacity: 13,600

Tulsa is a fifteen hour drive from Tucson (might be time to bust out the private jet again). A fairly active cultural center in the otherwise pretty empty region of the country, Tulsa. The band has played three shows in Tulsa, though the last two concerts they’ve played in the state of Oklahoma were in the eponymous capital, so this will be a minor homecoming.

The Bank of Oklahoma Center lacks any regular tenets other than the minor league Oilers hockey team, it keeps the lights on with basketball championships and concerts like these. It’s a pretty interesting building that features a lot of diverse artwork from throughout the region.

Show 25: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas, 2/22

Capacity: 21,000

The tour then moves south to the great state of Texas for what is, surprisingly, the only stop in the territory on this tour. That said, it makes sense to place the stop in Dallas, which, when combined with neighboring Fort Worth and several other nearby cities, makes up the largest metropolitan population in the country outside of New York, L.A., and Chicago. This show will be Twenty One Pilots’ twentieth show in Texas and their eighth in the Dallas area. Fans may remember that the last show they played in this area back during the last leg of the Roadshow fell the day after the fatal shooting of several Dallas police officers; Tyler gave what, in my mind, is easily one of his Top 3 best speeches at that show.

This show’s venue is one of the biggest on the tour, in an apparent effort to make up for the strangely small size (relatively speaking) of the last show, which could only fit a little over 6,000 folks; the American Airlines Center, known by some as “The Hanger”, can hold more than three times that number. The Hanger is the home of the NHL Stars and NBA Mavericks, and is a local landmark.

Show 26: Legacy Arena, Birmingham, Alabama, 2/24

Capacity: 19,000

Next stop is Alabama's most populous city, Birmingham. The band hasn't played the city since early in 2013, though they've played near Alabama's southern shore a few times since then. The city will be welcoming them back in one of the state's biggest venues located in Birmingham's convention complex.  

Show 27: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina, 2/25

Capacity: 23,000

Last on the list for this week is Greensboro, North Carolina's third largest city behind Raleigh and Charlotte. Greensboro and its Coliseum has had a pretty interesting history over the last few years involving struggles to hold on to minor league hockey and basketball teams and, notably, Bruce Springsteen's cancellation of a concert in the venue due to the state's backwards transgender discrimination law. Hopefully the Twenty One Pilots concert will go much more smoothly.

Community Spotlight:

Keeping it short and sweet this week: artist/comedian Hannah Hoffman makes funny content (not all related to Twenty One Pilots, of course, but even that stuff’s good, too).

BLIND SPECULATION OF THE WEEK:

Calling back to the central topic of most of the interviews from earlier, I must ask: what’s up with Blurryface returning in upcoming albums? Does that mean that we might have been getting clues about upcoming music this whole time?

In a word: no. In another word: yes? Confused? Good.

I don't think there was any indication at the start of the cycle that Tyler and Josh were planning on carrying Blurryface past his eponymous album cycle, for the simple reason that such things were too far in the future for them to worry about at the time. You have to remember that Blurryface was the first album where Tyler really worked on building a story with the songs more than just grouping them around his own life experience, feelings, and maybe a general underlying theme or idea. Around 2015, I'm sure Tyler was thinking about a million different possibilities for future projects, but he was by no means tied down to one course of action or another.

However, in recent months, Tyler has constantly been talking about how all of his creative ideas have been coming out of what he's experienced during this album cycle. That, I think, ensured that the character would continue to exist, even more than just how successful Blurryface was for them as a band. Tyler has always written from what he has experienced, but with all of the success of the last few years, he's gotta be running short on compelling things to write about. He's experienced so much tremendous success that it's doubtful he'll ever have to worry about doubting his decisions or fearing utter failure again. Frankly, the dude's been so busy working that I wonder how much of his own personal life he even has left to write about. That leaves the illogical manifestation of anxiety that Blurryface represents- that gnawing feeling that it's all been a fluke and everything good is temporary- as one of the few real things he can write about that he's personally experienced and that will still be relevant to his audience.

Of course, Tyler hasn't just written from his own experience; songs like "Guns For Hands" have drawn off of what Tyler has seen in his fans when he's shared his music with them. While Blurryface was very much an album about making music and expressing yourself as an artist, what I've heard from Tyler and Josh so far about how the touring has been informing their music gives me reason to believe that a lot of Album 5 will look at how Blurryface, the ideas he represents, and the music they made to fight him has impacted other people. That excites me.

So, back to the original question: Do I think Tyler's given us any direct hints at future songs yet? I think it's a distinct possibility. Though we haven't been getting any lyrical tweets from him (save for maybe that "Friends close, enemies on the guest list" one), the dude talks so much and so eloquently that there's a veritable laundry list of potential lyrics floating around. We know that Tyler dropped lyrics from "Ride" in an interview well before that track's release. Ultimately, we're just gonna have to wait and see.

As always, but especially this week: power to the local dreamer.

|-/