#// that when stripping the lyrics down. you get such similar messages?

[judasrpc]

LYRIC STARTERS BASED ON MY CURRENT "ON REPEAT" SONGS

aka, subtly exposing my music taste by slamming a bunch of songs onto one post, even if these probably exist as separate ones somewhere. the sections will be separated by the song titles & artists. this only includes my top 10, because we would be here forever if i included any more.

add context & change gendered language to your needs !! if multi, please specify which muse(s) !!

INVISIBLE - DURAN DURAN

" Living without choice is a life without a voice. "

" Has the memory gone? Are you feeling numb? "

" Will you say my name? "

" Hindsight is falling on my face. "

" When you don't hear a word I say […] "

" But a voiceless crowd isn't backing down. "

"Can you say my name? "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

FLIGHT OF THE CROWS - JHARIAH

" I cannot help but think I've overstayed my welcome. "

" The company's quite nice on crimson nights like these. "

" Well, I think that I've gotta go, and I don't know why. "

" I need you to promise that you won't cry. "

" Let those old memories go. "

" Please understand that I will find a brand new life. "

" So just let me out of your mind. "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

BLOOD UPON THE SNOW - HOZIER & BEAR MCCREARY

" Nature offers a violence. "

" The world that hardens as the harsher winter holds. "

" The ground walked here is a wonder. "

" And all things nature's given; she takes all things back from the living. "

" I've walked the earth, and there are so few here that know. "

" It's not my arms that will fail me. "

" This world takes more strength than it gave me. "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

RISK, RISK, RISK - JHARIAH

" We would've never worked out together. "

" Wager all you've got, and run me all that shit. "

" I can't take another day! I need some change. "

" There's things you just can't see with such precautious eyes. "

" I don't think I need to tell you; you'll see me when I do. "

" Better bite your tongue! "

"I don't second-guess a vision. "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

EAT YOUR YOUNG - HOZIER

" Let me wrap my teeth around the world. "

" I want to feel the edges start to burn. "

" If there's something to be gained, there's money to be made. "

" Throw enough rope until the legs have swung. "

" You can't buy this fineness. "

" If there's something still to take, there is ground to break. "

" Putting food on the table selling bombs and guns. "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CARELESS WHISPER - GEORGE MICHAEL

" I feel so unsure. "

" Something in your eyes calls to mind a silver screen, and all its sad goodbyes. "

" Though it's easy to pretend, I know you're not a fool. "

" To the heart and mind, ignorance is kind. "

" But there's no comfort in the truth, pain is all you'll find. "

" I wish that we could lose this crowd. "

" We could have been so good together. "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

APOCALYPTICISM - MOON WALKER

" We fight fire with silence and pray somebody hears. "

" No one said the world can't change in just a couple nights. "

" We want a revolution, but only with condition. "

" He came baring the heart of a liar; wearing the face of an honest man. "

" Start feeding the dogs of war. "

" We're in your head and hiding in plain sight. "

" But I don't see any difference, they both look the same to me. "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

DIGITAL SILENCE - PETER MCPOLAND

" I won't ask a question; I'll state the truth. "

" This is the way that it is. "

" Something you love turns to something you miss. "

" This is the way that I know. "

" I feel it inside me like a pulse; it's starting to slow and the meter dips. "

" This is the sound of the truth. "

" There is nothing you can do. "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

KINGSLAYER - BRING ME THE HORIZON & BABYMETAL

" Are you looking for the other side? "

" I need to know where your loyalties lie. Tell me, are you gonna bark, or bite? "

" Wipe the system and back the fuck up. "

" You are modified. "

" You're a puppet! When they cut your strings off, don't come crawling back. "

" You're on your own. "

" I'll fight for you until I die. "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I'M AFRAID I'LL GO TO HEAVEN - MOON WALKER

" I don't wanna live forever, 'cause I don't want what's coming next. "

" Don't think we stand taller together, 'cause half of us ain't got no spine. "

" My biggest fear ain't no red Devil, it's being near you people all the time. "

" I'll be fine as long as you go somewhere else. "

" They tell you truth is what you make it. "

" It's like we don't even gotta try no more. "

" I'm sure your god would love to keep it white, but I think that me and mine will be alright. "

[sohnric]

bad idea, right? – k. sunwoo

pairing: soundcloud rapper! sunwoo x gn! reader

genre: exes to lovers, angst, suggestive. i know this is toxic as fuck dont @ me sometimes i like to write shit like this because it's realistic...

word count: 4k

warnings: a whole lot of arguing, swearing, both of them being toxic and childish, a heated makeout session, overall just..messy. so messy.

a/n: similivinlife u inspired this. not my proudest moment but oh well 😵 the original of this draft was for the fic dancing in my backseat on @rrxnjun that i didnt end up using and revamped for this, so if u see any similarities it is because both fics are mine :P and once again, as always, thank u @csenke my sweetest beloved for beta reading 🤍

“I don’t think you can imagine the things I have to deal with about that track, like, I was literally in the town yesterday and around six people stopped me and wanted the backstory and I don’t know what, and it’s really, really annoying–”

Your voice cuts off, being replaced by a beat that makes acid taste on your tongue and hair stand up all alert, like a feral cat’s would when you try to get close to it, making you immediately turn off the song, letting a scream out into your pillow. There’s a storm of emotions inside of you as you take the phone you’ve been listening to the new song on back into your hand and pull up his number– because you blocked him everywhere else in hopes of never seeing his face again– and shoot him an angry text about the matter.

you [7:21pm]: are you kidding me???

you [7:21pm]: you are really so damn egoistical for doing this 

you [7:21pm]: really don’t think about anyone else except yourself huh

you [7:21pm]: ignore my messages again like the last time and i swear to god i’ll send someone to beat your ass

Fingers quicker than your own thoughts, you hammer down the messages on the keyboard, laced with the fury that’s been shaking with you ever since you learned that he released a new track that included yet another one of your voice messages you sent to him. It was excruciating to listen to, to say the least– your dignity stripped away slowly, piece by piece with the unsettling realization that your personal matters are now out there in the open, for everyone to see and judge, for the whole world to pick apart and analyze. Which is kind of funny, considering the nature of your breakup– you’re not so sure his fans would like what they would find out about him, had they dug deep enough.

Not saying that you are innocent in this matter, of course– you just don’t think it’s really fair to not have the platform to tell your side of the story.

don’t pick up [7:24pm]: feisty one aren’t ya

don’t pick up [7:24pm]: what’s this about

Clenching your jaw as you stare at the messages popping up on your screen only a few minutes after yours get delivered– which is unusual for him, to say the least– you work your way through another angry reply.

you [7:25pm]: your song???

don’t pick up [7:25pm]: did you like it? ;)

A dry chuckle escapes your throat at the last message. Of course you didn’t like it. You weren’t really a fan of the invasion of your privacy. You didn’t like the fact that he once again used your voice without permission, letting the whole world listen to your angry words that were addressed to him and only him. What was there for you to like about the song? His cheesy lyrics? The way he acted like he was way above you, belittling you with the power he had over you with all those voice messages? 

you [7:26pm]: yes i loved the invasion of my privacy a lot, thank you sunwoo

you [7:26pm]: isnt this illegal? ill look into it

don’t pick up [7:27pm]: now you’re being ridiculous.. its just a song y/n :) 

Was he being serious? Just a song? What about the prying eyes staring at you whenever you walk through the campus? What about the whispering behind your back whenever you sit in the school cafeteria? The pointed fingers whenever someone recognises that it’s you– the one that dated the good-for-nothing Soundcloud rapper and then broke his poor little heart. Was it ever really just a song?

you [7:28pm]: you cant be fr rn..

don’t pick up [7:33pm]: ah…let’s just talk abt it then

don’t pick up [7:33pm]: i’ll pick u up at 8? 

Staring at the messages on the screen, you let out another dry chuckle. The skin of your fingertips tingles when you swipe across the surface of your phone, opening the messaging app once again and tapping on the little bubble on the bottom, making the keyboard appear. The gears in your brain turn in swift motion as you try to sound nonchalant in your response, typing and deleting the message again, never getting the tone quite right. 

Responding to your ex boyfriend’s jabs and teasing in person seems to be easier for you, contrary to popular demand– you don’t have much time to think of your answer before the time frame between your arguments would turn too awkward with the silence, so you just say the first thing that comes to your mind. It comes naturally to you, though, and while you don’t particularly enjoy the fury and adrenaline that his smug smirks and jarring words make you feel, the tension his sudden messages built up only makes you more hesitant. 

You haven’t met up with Kim Sunwoo since the day you ended things, and you know damn well there’s a good reason for it.

Seeing him around campus or at parties of your mutual friends is a whole other thing than being with him in a closed space, all alone. It’s been a month since you ended things and while you are fairly certain that Sunwoo is a major jerk that is out to ruin your life, you can’t really tell if you’re actually over the major jerk that is out to ruin your life.

Seemingly letting Sunwoo know that you have the chat open, letting him watch your chat bubble pathetically appear and disappear in consistent time intervals, another quick message is shot your way, making your heart drum against your rib cage in even swifter motions. Running your hand through your hair, you sigh and drop the phone into your lap, helpless.

don’t pick up [7:40pm]: i’ll take it as yes

Sighing to yourself, you stand up from your bed and put on some presentable clothes. You don’t want to give Sunwoo any ideas, and that’s why you only change into clean sweatpants and a tank top, not putting much effort into your appearance at all. You need to send him the signal of being nonchalant– although your stance on the way he uses you in his songs is full of anger and resentment, you don’t want it to seem like you care much about the man himself at all.

Dragging yourself out of your room and putting on your shoes, you bump into your roommate Aeri passing you by with a mug of tea, her hair in a towel as she just came out of the shower. “You’re going somewhere?” 

“Going out,” you grunt.

“Oh?” she hums, leaning into the doorframe, “with who?”

The question catches you off guard. Turning around on your heel, you flash her an innocent smile, brain thinking of every possible solution you could use to not tell her that you’re going out with the exact person you’ve spent the last few weeks grunting over in dismay. “No one important,” you start, when her face morphs into a distressed frown.

“Is it Sunwoo?”

“Look, I-”

“It is fucking Sunwoo! I heard you scream into your pillow just now, I should’ve known it was that prick again,” she grunts, her guess confirmed by the very obvious discomfort on your face, suddenly in a hurry when you try to get out of the house in one swift motion and save yourself from the cross-examining conversation that’s surely about to happen judging by the look in Aeri’s face.

“I gotta go-”

“What about all your ‘I don’t ever wanna see him again’ talk?” she sighs, clearly disappointed with your life choices. 

“Look, it’s about the songs he’s been putting out. He’s being an ass about replying back to my messages and god knows I’m not calling him, or else he’d record it and put it in another song like the freak he is,” you squint your eyes at her, making sure your intentions are clear to your worried roommate. 

“Oh, right, because he’s going out with you just to talk,” she mutters, “when all you two have done since you broke up is argue. Mhm, seems about correct,” Aeri adds, making the situation even worse than it already was, because she’s right, after all– when have the two of you held a normal conversation in the past few weeks? Seeing him tonight might just be the worst idea of your life– right after deciding to date him, of course– and you’re completely aware of the fact.

Opening your mouth to answer with a jarring comment meant to put your roommate back in her place, the words are taken off your tongue when you hear the ring of your phone, the notification on your screen flashing with his messages.

don’t pick up [8:04pm]: youre 5 mins late

don’t pick up [8:05pm]: come out

“Look, I gotta go. We’ll talk about this later,” you mumble as you take your bag off the hanger, Aeri’s disapproving eyes following you as you head towards the door. 

“Right. Have fun,” she ironically sings, knowing very well what Kim Sunwoo’s intentions are for the night. Still, you fakely gag to her comment before you’re out the door and walking down the entryway.

As your figure walks out of the apartment complex, you almost don’t notice the man. You were expecting him to be waiting just behind the door, resting against the wall as he usually did back when you two were dating. The sight that meets your eye shocks you a little when you find him leaning against a 2007 Audi A4, the silver exterior of the car contrasting with the darkness of his clothes, hands folded on his chest as he watches you with an overly-confident smirk. 

“Took you long enough,” he teases as you finally cut through the distance. 

“Didn’t know you were so eager to see me,” you bite back, eyes scanning the vehicle. “Did you finally get a car with that new profession of yours? Or is that another one of your friend’s again?” you point towards the car, making the boy chuckle.

“Mine,” he says, “my ‘good-for-nothing career’ is taking off, as you may have noticed,” he hums, referencing all the arguments you two used to have about his dreams and ambitions, making you wince a little at the comment. You never believed in him ever making it big– you just didn’t think his dreams were ever really realistic– but judging by the way it’s been going for him, you must admit you may have been wrong with your snarky arguments before.

“Well, it’s not much, then,” you mutter instead, pretending to judge the state of his old, used-looking car.

“Gets the job done,” he shrugs as he peels himself off the door, opening the passenger side and sparing you a short glance. “Hop in?”

Sunwoo doesn’t wait for you to sit down so he can close the door after you– instead, he walks around the front of the car to the driver’s side, getting in himself– much to the gentleman he’s always been. Making sure you slam the door shut with as much force as you can, just to anger the man and his new toy, you fasten your seatbelt and watch as Sunwoo winces, but doesn’t mention it when he turns the engine on with a turn of the key and drives off the parking lot.

“Where are you taking me?” you ask, watching as the male snickers to himself. The calmness of his composure makes you oh so annoyed, making you despise every second spent together with him in the small space breathing in his cologne and listening to the songs playing through the speakers, reminding you of the playlist he’d always put on when he was given the privilege of the aux cord.

“What? Are you scared I’m gonna kill you?” Sunwoo jokes.

“Seeming that you’re batshit crazy, one can’t know what to expect from you nowadays,” you grunt, making him cheese with amusement.

“I thought I was just ‘a loser Soundcloud rapper that can’t do anything in life’,” he repeats to you a sentence you uttered out upon your breakup, the emotions getting the worst out of you after the way he’s been treating you. “Would a loser like me kill you? I don’t think so.”

“Very funny, Sunwoo,” you ironically bite back, rolling your eyes at his composure. The fact that he seemingly has the upper hand on you in the conversation makes you falter a little bit. “I just wanted to talk about the songs you’ve been putting out.”

“You wanted to tell me how much you like them? Thank you, I’m flattered–”

“No, you idiot. I wanted to talk to you about how uncomfortable they’re making me feel!” you yell out, making the male wince. 

There’s a momentarily silence in the car as the male drives, the streetlamps disappearing out of sight as he drives away from the city, into more sparse areas. His voice is a little more serious when he speaks up now, the lack of teasing in his tone making shivers run down your spine. “I don’t think it’s that serious, really.”

“Really?” you chuckle. “Because I don’t find it fun when people stop me on the street and ask all about our relationship, Sunwoo. Because I don’t know if you noticed, but you never asked for my permission when you used those.”

The sound of your own voice resonates through your brain, the first voice message he ever used in one of his songs (the one that made him finally more popular, funnily enough) making you sigh out in the darkness of the car. ‘Just.. I dunno, I said sorry, I apologized, I don’t know what more you want me to do.. like, what’s going on? Literally nothing, so like.. can’t we just… move on from this and… fucking let it go?’

“One would think you’d stop sending me these after the first one,” Sunwoo utters out, voice low and almost a little amused, which makes you tip over the edge.

“And I would think you wouldn’t use audio of me being vulnerable with you in a fucking song that everyone would hear, Sunwoo!” 

“Oh, did you mean that part where you called me a hypocrite for hanging out with my friends from high school without telling you? Or the part where you cursed me out after you broke up with me because I dared to text you again–”

“I was trying to pierce things back together!” you yell, making the male quiet down, resulting in taking a right turn towards a dead-end, the road approaching a forest. Not a single soul is to be found around here except the two of you, and when he turns the engine off, but stays staring ahead of him towards the trees, you continue with everything you’ve been holding inside of you– instead this time, your voice is more quiet, not having to scream over the sounds of the car anymore.

“I was apologizing. I was trying to make us work, Sunwoo. And just because you didn’t see it or didn’t have it in you to pay attention to me that night, it doesn’t give you the right to exploit me for your gain and make a fool out of me in front of everyone,” you say, watching as the male chews on the inside of his cheek.

“You are the one that broke up with me,” he says into the silence, “not the other way around.” 

A moment of silence hangs over you two like a heavy jacket. You were well aware of the fact– you broke up with Sunwoo after the night he went out with all of his female friends from high school, not telling you a thing about it before you found out through an Instagram story of one of them. You knew he was being petty, you knew he was doing it just to get back at you– because you never passed out on a chance to make him feel jealous, getting back at him for all the controlling comments he would make whenever you went out to clubs with your girlfriends– but it still drove you up against the wall and made you break.

Maybe you and Sunwoo weren’t made for each other. There’s no denying that you loved each other– you just didn’t really know how to handle your relationship. You never really learned how to handle problems. How to resolve issues. Both of you were too immature for the other, and it would never work– you only came to this conclusion after many tear-filled evenings, but coming to peace with it is still yet to come.

“I don’t see how that’s relevant to this conversation,” you say, shaking your head in disbelief.

The male scoffs, turning his head towards you, meeting your eye. “Did you even listen to the songs?” 

“Of course I did, how else would I know–”

“Then you must have noticed that I’m not making fun of you, or putting you on blast, or belittling you, or whatever you and your friends have said about me for the past month,” he counts on his fingers as he recites the words with an annoyed tone, big eyes bearing into yours. 

“You exposed me being vulnerable.”

“I’m vulnerable in these too!” he urges out, eyebrows furrowing at you in exasperation.

“That’s your fucking choice! Don’t drag me into it!”

While you must admit that none of the lyrics Sunwoo’s ever written about you were lies, or making fun of you or throwing harsh words in your direction, you still feel as if a chunk of you has been thrown out in the open, for anyone to pick apart and poke around. You always told Sunwoo you liked his way with words, and there is no denying that his lyrics, although they were painfully honest, were quite beautiful. If you weren’t the one the songs were about, maybe you’d even like them. Maybe you could give them a listen without feeling like you want to crawl out of your skin. Maybe you could add them to your playlist without feeling ashamed that you’re still thinking about the male, picking apart your relationship like every outsider has been doing since the songs went viral, but instead, finding places where you could’ve done things differently and kept him by your side.

It was hard to listen to his words and see the reflections of your past flashing in front of your eyes like a movie. While you admit that he did the timeline of your relationship justice, you do despise the fact that his words are getting to you so much. 

You don’t like hearing about the things you’ve done wrong. You don’t like listening to him apologize– although he would never do so directly. You don’t like to hear him say that he misses you, because it makes it hard for you to keep your fair distance from him.

“I don’t know what I was thinking… Can you drive me home, Sunwoo? We’re clearly not on the same page about this,” you say, averting your gaze from him towards the window.

“No.”

“Sunwoo, can you please drive me–”

“Not until we talk about this, no,” he says firmly, watching you foam over with fury.

“What else is there to talk about?”

“Us!”

“There’s no us anymore, Sunwoo! And I think it’s the time you come to terms with that and stop abusing our failed relationship for your stupid songs,” you bark, throwing daggers into his skull with your fierce eyes.

“So you get to go and post angry tweets and badmouth me in front of your friends, but when I cope in a perfectly respectful manner, it’s wrong?” he argues, scoffing and shaking his head at you.

“God, you’re unbelievable. You’re comparing two vastly different things–”

“Do you not like the songs because you feel exposed, or do you not like them because I’m saying exactly what you don’t want to hear?” he asks, eyes bearing into yours with such heaviness you feel like you could cut the tension with a knife.

“Like what? That you think I regret breaking up with you?” you scoff, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Why else would you pick a fight with me every time I call? Why pick it up at all?”

“Why do you call, then?” you challenge him, chewing on the bottom of your lip. The male leans closer to you, sparks dancing in his eyes when his voice resonates through the car like a low thunder, making the tips of your fingertips buzz and your heart beat faster.

“You know exactly why I call.”

“To make me angry and get me to scream at you?”

“If that means I get to talk to you,” he shrugs, a subtle grin overtaking his features, a churn of your stomach warning you of the dangerous area you just entered.

Eyes never breaking contact with his, relishing in the way his hungry gaze picks you apart, you attempt to conceal your true feelings with an annoyed comment. “This isn’t going anywhere,” you muse, “god, I never wanna see your face again.”

He clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth, teasing you. “That’s what you said last time,” he says, “so what are you doing in my car then, babydoll?”

The pet name makes your stomach drop, the lightness in your head coming back to you as you furrow your brows at the male, trying hard to come up with a smart remark. Your brain turns into liquid and there’s buzzing in your ears as you try to focus on staying calm and true to your best judgment, but the moment Sunwoo’s head leans even closer to your face, his words render you both speechless and thoughtless as he mutters a sentence that’s barely louder than a whisper, yet powerful enough to pull you in.

“Stop fighting me for once, will you?”

Your lips are pushed against his with force, the kiss mirroring the essence of being starved of each other for the past month. His plush lips move against yours with the skill that only a man you’ve spent tens and hundreds of nights kissing would acquire, his hand placed on your jaw to steady you, adjusting the pace of his kisses just the way you always liked it. 

A force that’s greater than yourself brings you out of your seat and into the driver’s lap, giving the male better access to your throat as you settle comfortably under your newly acquired human chair. His strong thighs flex under you when you thread your fingers through his hair, bringing him back up to connect your lips together before he breathlessly pulls away, gazing at you with a boyish grin on his face.

“Why did we even break up again?” he jokes.

You reply to him with the same lightness of your tone, shrugging. “Because you were a jealous, possessive prick and I had a short temper that always egged you on?” you say, watching as the male pretends to ponder on the information, humming to himself.

“I think I can put that past me.”

“Can you?” you joke, tracing his cheekbone with your thumb, a sly smirk playing with your lips as you lean over him and press a firm, yet short peck to his swollen lips. “Or will you make another mediocre song about it?”

“Don’t call them mediocre,” he squints at you, eyes tracing your face when your hands slip further down his face to cradle his jaw, thumbs padding his lips.

“I easily outdid you on your own song, Kim Sunwoo.”

“That’s why I add you in, actually.”

“Really?” you snicker, tone full of fake disbelief. His hands hold your sides when you lean over the man and latch yourself to his neck, dragging out kisses up and down his warm skin. “Will you make a song for each of our arguments, then?” 

Teeth scraping the skin of his throat, you find the male humming under you in pleasure and satisfaction. He has you right where he wanted you– and although this is not how you imagined the night to go, you don’t find yourself disappointed with the turn of events. The previous annoyance is still there, but now is shielded by the need in you, the longing for him you can’t really battle whenever he is around.

Settling deeper against his body, you feel the male slip one hand into your hair, tugging at the roots of your hair gently to bring your face back to his, averting your attention away from the love bites you’ve been placing on his skin. 

“Unless you give me another topic to write about,” he suggests, his hungry lips swallowing your reply. 

You and Sunwoo were never really good for each other. Too messy, too turbulent, but too consumed with the other to ever truly let go. Seeing him tonight surely wasn’t the best of your ideas– but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t silently hope the evening would turn out this way.

You and Sunwoo were never the ones to make good decisions when it came to the other one anyway. What’s one another badly calculated step in your relationship gonna do?

[existentialmagazine]

Review: Nathan Irving’s new acoustically-ladened single ‘Optics’ haunts with a glowing resonance and insightful lyricism

Los Angeles based upcoming artist Nathan Irving recently embarked on the endeavour of a solo project capable of solely flourishing his own musical abilities and thoughts, all the while continuing to be part of the band Sleeping Lion. With his newest single ‘Optics’ now gracing all musical platforms, Nathan only continues to prove he’s a multi-talented name with plenty to give and to be heard.

Laced in an intimate bedding of acoustic tones and folk-like whimsicality, Nathan’s newest single ‘Optics’ soars through an atmosphere of the upmost tenderness all the while comforting you with a reassuring warmth. Delicately brought in with a bright acoustic guitar riff looping through the verses stripped-back base, ‘Optics’ places a primary focus on appreciating Nathan’s every word, hauntingly carrying an emotionally-infused aching through his gently spoken-sung words. The chorus lightly builds, cascading through a bright piano riff and an intermittent reverberated deep key, all the while continued plucked guitar adds an almost angelic air. Nathan captures gorgeous vocal tones amidst all of this, rising into captivating higher ranges before falling back down to a natural basing, enclosing you in his presence with an safety and ease without even trying. Backing vocals that more quietly deliver important lines are also an integral key to the choruses’ impact, before fading out with electronically distorted lines for a subtle shift away from the recurrent emotion and towards shielding one’s heart. Closing out the three and a half minute experience with heightened instrumentals in their multitude of layers and increased volumes, ‘Optics’ makes sure to leave a mark on you whether it’s slow and melancholic or more dominantly crashing.

Touching on the modern world and its constant commercial displays and social media posts, ‘Optics’ carries through the thoughts that have become progressively ingrained into a younger generation. From unreal expectations to comparisons to others’ seemingly perfect lives constantly available at the touch of a button, ‘Optics’ achingly bears the battles we all have within ourselves, feeling never quite enough. With lines like ‘growing up is just rebuilding… half a decade of construction’, Nathan seemingly portrays a multifaceted interpretation, emphasising the constant growth and change of getting older while also lit up in the negatives of the expectations to always be improving on ourselves. With a chorus that flows through an internal battle of thoughts, Nathan further emphasises challenging that seed of doubt within, likely relating to just about everyone’s negative emotions and reassuring there’s always a positive perspective we don’t allow ourselves the grace of: ‘you looked bored and tired, get some rest for once.’ Further lines like ‘you are nothing special, you don’t have to be something’ are touchingly simple, emphasising how the world often places expectations to do and be so much, when the bare minimum is an achievement in itself. With the song concluding with the poignant take-away ‘here’s your trophy for showing up, just show up’, Nathan finally manages to shift away from negative views and finds a sense of peace and clarity in what he feels capable of achieving, no longer weighed down by immeasurable goals. As we all often find ourselves trapped in similar headspaces and running through the worst self-depreciating thoughts, Nathan is here to remind you that it’s okay to be struggling, as long as you remember you can push through the untrue thoughts your mind continually feeds.

Check out ‘Optics’ here to appreciate every delicate fold of Nathan’s sound interweaved with a message we all need to hear every now and then.

Written by: Tatiana Whybrow

Photo Credits: Unknown

// This coverage was created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator.

[sluttywonwoo]

dirty reflection || hvc x reader

Summary: fulfilling a long held fantasy with your boyfriend (cockwarming him in front of a mirror)

Warnings: swearing, smut (18+)

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: this is for @junsol happy birthday tiff!!

Masterlist

“Tell me!”

“No!”

“Please!”

“No, I’m too embarrassed!”

You turned away from your boyfriend on the couch with your arms folded across your chest in protest. If there was anyone who could get you to spill something it was Vernon, but you were determined not to break.

“Please, baby?” he asked again, and walked around to the other side of the sofa so that you could see his big brown eyes.

You squeezed your own eyes shut, as to not let him guilt trip you and shook your head stubbornly. Vernon let out a sigh of frustration and you thought that maybe he had given up until you heard him chuckle above you.

“Fine, then I guess we won’t have sex at all.”

“What?”

You opened your eyes again and stared at your boyfriend in disbelief. He smirked.

“You heard me.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You’re bluffing.”

“No,” he insisted, doubling down. “If you won’t tell me what you want, we won’t have sex until you do.”

“You know what I want! You already know how to make me feel good.”

“I thought I did,” he huffed, sticking out his bottom lip in a pout.

“You do!”

Vernon raised his arms above his head, bringing the hem of his t-shirt up to reveal a small strip of his stomach and the elastic of his Calvin Klein’s. You sucked in a breath and pursed your lips, ignoring the sight before you.

“But not this!”

The this he was referring to was just a silly fantasy of yours, one that you had purposely kept secret because you were embarrassed to admit to wanting something so... filthy. You had never planned to fulfill it- you were more than content to simply imagine the scene playing out when Vernon wasn’t home, and use your own hands instead of his to take the edge off. But as of 20 minutes ago that wasn’t an option anymore because your boyfriend had come across your messages with your best friend about that very fantasy.

He hadn’t meant to pry. He had just gotten home from rehearsal and grabbed your Mac off of the coffee table to check Twitter. You weren’t around, but he always used your computer to scroll through social media anyway so he figured he didn’t need to ask. Your last iMessage conversation with Sloane was still up, and he went to minimize the window when he read his name at the top of one of your blue bubbles. He knew he shouldn’t have been reading your private messages, but he couldn’t stop himself.

s: you should just tell him

y/n: idk how to bring it up

s: it’s not that hard

y/n: would it be weird to ask you to tell him for me?

s: bitch yes

s: I don’t want to talk to your bf about your sex life

y/n: vernon knows you though! You could just sneak it into conversation casually yk?

s: i’m not telling him you want to be-

That was as far as he got before you walked back into the room and he slammed the laptop shut in panic, looking like you’d just caught him watching porn- which to be fair, you had done a number of times before.

Before you could say anything, or even process what had just happened, Vernon flipped it around on you.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

Your brain still hadn’t processed the situation so you furrowed your brow in confusion. “I don’t know what you mean-”

“Why are you talking to Sloane about our sex life?” he demanded. It finally clicked. “And what about it is so terrible about it that you don’t want to tell me yourself?”

“There’s nothing terrible about it!” you assured him.

“Then what?” His face was starting to turn red like it did whenever he got worked up. “Have you been faking-”

“No!" You could feel your face starting to heat up as well at the implication. “We were just talking about a dumb fantasy of mine, that’s all.”

And that’s what led you to where you were now, staring each other down over the edge of the couch, daring the other to be the first to break. The room was still filled with tension, but there had been a shift in context.

Vernon’s eyes were dark and nearly unreadable in the dim light of your living room.

“You’re really not going to fuck me until I tell you?” you asked. He nodded again in earnest, and raised his eyebrows expectantly. “But what do I get out of telling you?”

He gave you a look like it should have been obvious. “We’re going to do it.”

You hesitated. “What if you’re not into it?”

He shrugged and brushed off the possibility. “I’m into whatever you’re into.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“I promise,” Vernon said and pressed a kiss to your lips as if to seal it. “I’m not going to judge whatever it is you want me to do to you. No matter how gross it is.”

You scoffed and swatted at him, but he dodged your hand easily.

“I can’t stand you,” you muttered.

“Oh, is that why you’re always kneeling for me?”

“Do you want me to tell you or not?”

The smirk fell from his face as he hastily cleared his throat and beckoned for you to continue.

“You know that mirror we have in our bedroom?” you asked.

Vernon nodded, a grin playing at the corner of his mouth as if he had an idea about where this was going.

“I’ve always wanted to cockwarm you while we sit in front of it.”

Your boyfriend was smiling from ear to ear now. He had you right where he wanted you.

“Is that all?” he asked.

“I mean, pretty much, yeah.”

“Pretty much?” The next part you mumbled under your breath. “What was that?” Vernon asked, leaning over the couch so that he could hear you.

“Yes,” you bit out and clenched your jaw in a pathetic sort of pout.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” he teased, stroking your cheek with his thumb. “Okay, get up.”

“What, why?”

“I’ve got some lyrics to work over. You can keep my cock warm while I do that.”

“Right now?”

“I thought that’s what you wanted?”

“It-it is.”

“Then get up.”

You did as you were told and stood up from your spot on the sofa, watching as Vernon grabbed the back of one of the kitchen chairs and began dragging it behind him.

“Why-”

“I don’t want to ruin our armchair,” he said as an explanation and jerked his head in the direction of your bedroom, motioning for you to follow him.

The mirror in your bedroom was one of your favorite things in the house. It sat on the floor leaned up against the wall with a large ornate frame encompassing it. It was almost taller than you, and weighed about sixty pounds. Its gold paint was chipping in the corners and it was a bit scuffed up, but it was still the best find you’d ever made at the antique fair and you stood by that. You still remembered carrying it home the day you bought it. Vernon had filmed the process instead of helping, watching you struggle with the newspaper-wrapped package through the screen on his phone with a smug grin on his face the entire time.

Vernon set the chair on the floor in front of the mirror and began to strip, pulling off his hoodie first before shimmying out of his joggers. You followed in suit by unzipping your skirt and letting it fall to the ground. You stepped out of it and went for your shirt next, yanking it over your head. Your hands went for the clasp of your bra after that before thinking twice.

“Do you want my bra off or-”

He seemed to think about it for a moment before answering. “Leave it on.”

You nodded and dropped your hands back by your side, watching him grab his notebook from the desk and settle on the chair. He was completely naked now, and you were left in just your underwear, a scene you both were intimately familiar with.

He spat into his palm and took his cock in his hand, pumping a few times before you stopped him.

“Let me,” you offered, kneeling on the floor in front of him.

He groaned and handed over control easily. You grinned to yourself before taking him in your mouth. You knew he’d never pass up an opportunity to have you suck him off.

You worked slowly, taking your time, enjoying the feeling of him getting hard on your tongue. Vernon gripped your hair with one hand and clutched his notebook with the other. He fought to keep his eyes open, to keep his head upright. In the mirror he could see the back of your head bobbing up and down on his lap, the expanse of your back, every scar, freckle, and mole he’d seen a thousand times before but now from a different angle.

You hollowed out your cheeks and took him to the back of your throat, trying not to laugh when you heard him curse.

“Stop,” he breathed out, pulling you off of him by your hair. “You’re a menace.”

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand and smiled. “Thank you.”

He glared at you for a moment before flicking his gaze downwards.

“I’d ask if you want me to return the favor, but I don’t think I need to.” He reached out to prove his point and brushed a couple fingers over your panties, ignoring the way you trembled as he did. He held his hand up to you to show you the wetness gathered on his pointer and index before bringing them to his lips and sucking it off. “You’re plenty wet already.”

You suppressed a moan and pursed your lips, nodding in agreement.

Vernon didn’t have to say anything for you to know what he wanted next. You slipped out of your panties and tossed them to the side. He wrapped an arm around your waist as you straddled him and lined yourself up. You both sighed as you sank down onto his cock. He kissed you deeply, winding a hand through hair and moaning your name. You let your head rest against his shoulder and tried not to rock your hips forward. Your boyfriend was having similar issues, hips stuttering underneath you, head falling back in pleasure.

“H-hansol,” you gasped.

“Don’t,” he warned through gritted teeth. You clenched around him involuntarily and whined. “What did I just say?”

“Sorry, can’t help it.”

He took a deep breath and began flipping through the pages of his notebook. You craned your neck to look back at your reflection in the mirror, smiling weakly at the sight. Vernon had an arm slung loosely around your waist still. His cheeks were rosy and warm to the touch. Your ass was on full display at this angle, but you didn’t mind. You knew it was your boyfriend’s favorite view anyway, and you weren’t ashamed to admit that you could see why.

The way you were seated on his lap made it look like you could have just been cuddling. The reflection didn’t show Vernon’s cock buried deep inside your pussy and your breathing had slowed to somewhat of a normal pace.

Vernon began to hum to himself and you turned your attention back to him, admiring how he looked while he was concentrating. His eyelashes were so fucking long, it was something you had always been jealous of. The light filtering into the room made them look blond and you thought back to all of the colors he had dyed his hair before.

It was brown now, with remnants of the previous black still fading, but he had gone blond once before. You still remembered how shocked you had been when he came home from the salon that day.

You were doing so good. You were relaxing comfortably, lost in your own thoughts, when Vernon moved for the first time. He was just scratching his ankle, but the sudden movement made you yelp.

“Don’t do that!” you cried.

“What, this?” he asked and bent down to scratch his ankle again.

“Yes, that,” you growled.

“Why not?”

“You know why.”

“What about this?”

He leaned back and stretched his arms above his head.

“That’s worse!” you hissed.

“Sorry.”

“No you’re not.” He just shrugged and tossed his notebook on the bed. “Don’t you have work to do?”

“Could use a break,” he replied simply, “and it’s hard to focus with distractions.”

The last part was pointed at you and you narrowed your eyes.

“I have been perfectly still.”

“Yeah, but your... impatience is, well, physical.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re soaking, love.”

You looked down at Vernon’s lap and suddenly realized what he meant. Your arousal was quite literally dripping onto his thighs and the chair beneath you. That was why he didn’t want to use the armchair. You felt your face heat up in embarrassment and buried your head in your boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Fuck, I’m sorry!”

He chuckled and rubbed a hand up and down your back comfortingly. “Don’t be! I know you can’t help it, and it’s honestly really fucking hot.”

“You’re not just saying that?”

“No,” he promised and shook his head adamantly. “I like that I have this effect on you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Too late.”

“I know.”

“So this fantasy of yours,” he said, clearing his throat. “How does it end?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“You.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What about me?”

“Whatever you want.”

“I get to pick how it ends?”

“Mhm. I usually leave it up to the imagination so it’s open-ended.”

“You mean when you masturbate to it you cum before it ends so you lose interest?” Vernon clarified.

“Maybe.”

“I know you,” he said cockily.

“And like I said, you know what I like.”

“I like to think I do.”

“So tell me what to do.”

“You just like being bossed around.”

“And what about it?”

“Brat,” he spat.

“Bitch.”

Vernon smiled and jerked his hips the slightest bit, making you whimper. “Stand up.”

You tried not to show your disappointment, but did as you were told and stood up, wincing at the empty feeling that followed.

“Just for a minute, baby,” he assured you. “Turn around.”

You turned so that you were facing the mirror and let yourself be pulled back onto your boyfriend’s lap. He slid his cock back inside of you almost immediately and praised you for taking it so well.

“I thought you should see yourself,” he whispered against your shoulder.

You moaned, only able to nod in agreement. You were positioned at a bit of an angle now since you were facing forward, but any discomfort you felt evaporated when Hansol kissed the back of your neck. He unclasped your bra and let it fall to the floor.

“Look at you,” he murmured as he urged you to start riding him, “fucking yourself on my cock like a slut.”

“Fuck, Hansol.”

You forced yourself to look at your reflection, straining your neck so that you could see clearly. You made eye contact with yourself only to see a stranger stared back at you. The person in the mirror looked like a fucking pornstar, tits out, legs spread, but also fucked out of their mind.

“Feels so good,” you panted.

“I know, baby, I know.”

Vernon brought a hand down to your clit and started to rub in circular motions, a clue that he was getting close. Your legs were shaking at this point and you could feel your own orgasm starting to creep up on you as he slammed into you from behind.

“You look so fucking hot like this,” Vernon grunted.

You met his eyes in the reflection and gave a weak smile. “I know.”

“Fuck, y/n!” He came suddenly with a moan of your name. You watched in the mirror as his eyes screwed up and his whole body tensed underneath you.

“Can I- can I cum?” you begged, not even sure if you’d be able to hold out if he said no.

A mere nod of his head was all it took for you to tip over the edge. Vernon weakly fucked you through it, still riding the end of his own high.

“So good for me,” he managed in broken breaths.

You arched your back against his chest as you came, mumbling profanities the entire time. You tried to keep your eyes open to watch yourself fall apart, but you only caught glimpses.

You collapsed back against Vernon as the aftershocks of your orgasm subsided, gasping for breath like you had just finished running a marathon.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

Vernon wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, kissing the top of your head gently. You were both covered in sweat and cum, but neither of you could find the energy to care.

“Of course.”

You let yourself relax against his body for another moment, observing your reflections in the mirror. Your hair was a tangled mess, but so was Vernon’s. Hickeys were already beginning to bloom on your neck and shoulders, reminders to follow you in the days ahead.

Your eyes wandered up to meet your boyfriend’s, who was already gazing at you tenderly. You shared a brief look and smirked at each other.

“Round two?”

happy birthday again tiff!! love u, mean it <3 (lmk what you thought i always appreciate feedback)

shoot me an ask if you'd like to be added to my taglist

[kyotakumrau]

2021.02.16 2nd session of Meguro Rock-May-KanGIG at Zepp Yokohama

The encore of the recorded concert changed, it was such an awesome surprise! Felt a bit more like an actual concert, I love the idea of the changing setlist!😆

When they prepared the stage again for the talk session, Fujieda and Takabayashi came first. F jokingly started the introductions with 'hi this is Fujifuji~ and...' but T didn't realize what's F is doing (or did he?😂) and didn't join😂 after a moment of F waiting he finally joined with '...I'm T'.

Then F invited the band members on the stage and again Die and Kyo came on stage!

Die stayed in the same outfit, but Kyo changed! He had a long oversized greengrey-ish coat and shirt with a scarf thing.

D: はい、Dieでっすー

K: 京です🦊

F started to talk about Kyo's birthday again, but then K casually turned to the side and very casually without a comment pointed his phone at F.

F: are you filming me?!

K: I can't? (あかん？)

F: Ah no, it's okay...

*K continues*

F:... so Happy Birthday Kyo!

...

K: you know, I'm not that happy with the waiting time between the sessions, I'd prefer to do the talk part at the beginning and then go home. I don't want to waste time. We should have two patterns, one with the talking first.

(I guess some fans would be happy with that too😂)

F: (moved to the Rock-May-Kan film topic) so you played your new song, Ochita koto no aru sora there, how was it?

K: it was okay, it went smoothly

D said something like the song was ok, it will likely change/transform when the tour comes (?)

F: so it wasn't hard.

D: the hard part was that the stage was so narrow there was only space for few extra people (cameramen), all other staff were waiting in the audience area

F: so when you had to change guitars etc they had to climb the stage?

D: also with guitar tunning, especially the 7 string one, it's really tough and takes time, so it felt there wasn't enough time during short breaks between the songs. Toshiya always does tunning humself, I don't, I guess I should improve that a bit.

F: any songs that stood out?

K: I guess Jealous

F: in what way?

K: the arrangement was too old, it's actually embarrassing (how bad it is), the lyrics too. I changed the lyrics, I was laughing internally at myself, but I couldn't change the arrangement. it was like hell.

He also complained that some parts were too high, they were hard to sing. Some parts changed the piano intro done by Takumi etc, he didn't want to listen to the CD, old version, because it was too embarrassing.

F: and it became a 2021 version?

K: I want to change it even more, make it less troublesome for me.

D: it wasn't hard for me, but it is old, so the song's speed doesn't match my body anymore (not too fast, just wrong speed), it was easy to play though.

K: but it was hard to know how to move during the song.

*Kyo then showed us a movement he got unhappy with*

K: So I moved as little as possible

F: it didn't look like you had this much trouble

K: I'm a pro in the end.

😆

F next talked about the release of Oboro on April 28th.

F: K, you said that Oboro is refreshing. How about TDFF?

K: てんでだめなぶしぶし (TendeDamenaFujiFuji can translate to 'utterly useless Fujieda')

🤣

F: D, you said it's powerful, what about Oboro?

D: the music video is good. The filming took quite a long time, the way we used to do it in the past.

K: it was [refreshingly] cool, too fresh (light).

D: it got refreshing from about halfway?

F then talked about the merchandise. He started with the travel poach, he held it up and moved it closer to the center of the table so fans could see it on the screen in the back. But by doing that it ended up quite close to Kyo's head. K gave F a super bewildered look, turned to check the screen in the back and then continued to give F evil glares of 'why you doin this to me'😂

K: I thought that rubber keychains are so cute! We should release the older costume versions as well (he got applause from the audience for that).

K then commented it looks so cute that they all got beheaded with their heads so low, like they're holding their heads.

D grabbed the rechargeable heat pack and said (totally sarcastic): ah so wa~rm...

😂

F: the highest temperature is 40℃.

K: (gets the pack) Can you charge devices with it? Huh, it just gets hot? When you're in trouble or sth you can't use it as charger? People would have wanted that in December...

F: ...(passes it to Die)

D: it's exactly the same temperature as the charging phone...

F next showed us the usb power strip holding it over Kyo, K got uncomfortable again😅

After that they moved to the questions from fans.

D: "anything you were particular about when creating the setlist?" We added songs we were thinking about playing at SOGAI, so also some older songs.

F: do you have any good questions?

K passes one paper to F.

F reads: "did F do anything to make you angry?"

and K replied with a list😂 the main was again F's easy ﾊｲﾊｲﾊｲ ( like yeayeah) or biting his lips.

F: how about you D?

D: nothing really.

F: " do you have favourite ramen?"

K (immediately): Jiroken. And it has to be smaller noodle portion with more toppings (麺少なめ全マシ), it's the best.

D: I don't really eat ramen.

F: you also said no McDonald.

D: yeah

F: Have you tried Jiro?

D: once or so

K (concerned😂): did you eat normal ramen? Which shop?

he made sure Die knows which ramen to order and which shop is the best😂

T: "which venue would you like to play at next?"

D said not exactly a venue, he would like to go to prefectures they haven't been to yet.

K: Nagoya Music Fan.

F: in Fujigaoka?

T: Does it still exist?

F: yeah.

T: let's discuss it in the future (aka not very likely?😂)

F: but it's not impossible!

F then picked a 'combo-question': "do you use any perfumes? What are you crazy about now? What kind of BGM do you play at home?"

K: I don't use perfume. I have a bar soap I like, the old style one with an image of cow on it. It doesn't have a strong smell.

F: how about BGM?

K: I only play Fortnite. Ah, but now the Chinese buns skins are on sale. I've been playing for a year and only saw someone using it once. Somehow I like the least popular skin.

K: at home I also eat cookies. Chocolate cookies.

F: what kind/brand?

K: Any.

D: I use perfume / he said he got Fueguia (but then there was some thing wrong with the frangrance after a while, it went away???)

And no crazes or BGMs.

D: "when you travel on work to other cities, are your seats on bullet train decided? Do you sit next to someone?"

D: it's not really decided, we travel by ourselves (??), most of us prefer aisle seat. So I was surprised when once Shinya asked if we could swap so he can get the window side.

F: and you K, window or aisle?

K: Definitely aisle. If you're on the window side and someone next to you falls asleep it's really rude to wake them up if you need to get up. I prefer to be woken up than wake someone up.😇

D: There's also the table.

K: aaah, Shinya likes window seat so you could put the table down with some food on top of it and then pretend to be dead sleeping.😈

The change😂 he was laughing so much at the idea too😂

F: "what's your preference for the food at venues?" (??)

K: sushi.

D: like in Shinkiba.

K: yeah, I get so excited.

F: We also had sushi in the US.

K: We got it from a fan.

D told us a story how he was able to start eating eel/unagi, he doesn't like fishbones but once in Nagoya everyone was having hitsumabushi backstage and saying how good it is, so he tried and actually liked it.

F: "Did you watch any good movies recently? I watched Miike's 'Imprint'". Do you know this movie, K?

K: Yeah, it as good.

F: you watch movies often.

K: Recently I watched Rob Zombie's '3 from Hell'.

F: how about you, D?

D: a movie with Tachi Hiroshi, a new one, about yakuza (he didn't remember the title, but most likely ヤクザと家族 The Family (2021)).

F: "Do you have a favourite fruit?"

K: melon.

F: do you eat it at home?

K: no・食べない

F: do you eat it if it's backstage?

K: yes・食べる

F: but at home?

K: no・食べない

F: melon...

K: like・好き

👨‍👦

F: do you eat melons at home, D?

D: I don't.

T: "who do you like from Fist of the North Star?"

D: I saw it, but I don't remember details.

K gave a very detailed answer but as I haven't seen it I didn't really get it (the only name I caught was Shuren)😅 but he compared one character to F?😆

And then came Kyo's biggest laughing fit.

The question was about some story about other members they remember the most. Kyo talked about how once Kaoru had trouble with the mic stand and guitar cable, the cable got twisted around the stand and Kaoru ended up empty handed which Kyo found very amusing. Then Kyo just kept gesturing the 'round round・ぐるぐる' bit and he was laughing so much he started crying🤣

But then Die said he had a similar situation once and F replied he remembers that. Kyo burst out again and then it was also Die's turn to just lose it🤣

The laughers to the point of tears continued for a while as they tried to calm down😂

But then.

Then.

Suddenly the backscreen went black with a message 'battery empty, please change battery' and the venue that was giggling because of band members also exploded.

The timing was just too much🤣🤣🤣

F said it's time to finish anyway and asked them for the last comments for the fans, starting from Die.

Die: ... 🤣... can't think of... anything🤣...I'm crying🤣

F: ... let's go from Kyo

K: ... I don't have anything to say... all...

(a moment)

Kyo: I don't have any big message. But please wait a bit more for the new single. It will be like Taiyou no Ao 2.0, in a good way. ...or Taiyou no Ao remix.

Die: Thank you for coming today. ... I'd really love to do a normal tour soon, shows with audience. For now please enjoy the concert film from Rock-May-Kan, but in the future let's enjoy the show all together... I still can't stop tearing up🤣 ok, I'm done.

A marvelous ending of even more marvelous day😆💚❤️

[missjanjie]

Taste of a Poison Paradise | Chapter 8

Title: Taste of a Poison Paradise Summary: Life at Jackie Cox’s strip club, Poison Paradise, isn’t just lapdances and g-strings. There’s enough drama, lust, and heartache to rival any soap opera. None of the girls know what to expect on any given shift, especially while navigating their torrid, complicated relationships. Word Count: ~3k (this chapter) / ~24.2k (total) Relationship(s): Lemyanka (Lemon/Priyanka), Crygi (Crystal Methyd/Gigi Goode), Sportsdoll (Jan Sport/Nicky Doll), Jaidie (Jaida Essence Hall/Jackie Cox), BVK (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo/Kameron Michaels), Rosnali (Rosé/Denali Foxx) Rating: E

Read on AO3 | Ko-Fi

Chapter Summary: Things seem to be going well for Lemon until they go really bad really fast. Things are actually going well for Jackie and Jaida.

-

For the next couple of weeks, it seemed like Lemon was on the mend. She had finished her finals, gotten through her senior year, and now it was time to celebrate. Hers and Gigi’s graduations were only a couple of days apart, so the group decided to combine their graduation party that weekend.

It was one of the rare times the club was closed on a Saturday, but Jackie wanted to make sure everyone could celebrate together and turned the main room into their party space. “Cheers,” she said, raising her glass, “to Lemon and Gigi, college graduates!”

The group clinked their glasses together and drank, everyone resuming their casual conversation, relaxed, and enjoying one another’s company. With the exception, of course, of Lemon and Priyanka, who were still trying to avoid each other like the plague.

“Look, I love those two as much as the rest of y’all, but I’ve stopped feeling sorry for them — at this point, it’s just annoying,” Kameron remarked as she watched the way they behaved with a grimace. “Not that it’s any of my business, but it kind of is considering how often I have to witness them, but how long were they hooking up for anyway?”

Vanessa furrowed her brows as she counted on her fingers. “Dunno, like four months?”

“Shit, that’s like a lesbian year,” she murmured, sipping her drink. “This isn’t gonna fix itself is it?”

“Not as long as Pri’s got that rock on her finger.”

“It could be worse,” Brooke Lynn chimed in, her lips pursed around the straw in her glass, “at least she doesn’t wear it to work, can you imagine the fit Lemon would throw if she had to stare down a diamond every day?”

The three of them looked at Lemon, who, at least for the moment, appeared to be enjoying herself, then at Priyanka, who was talking to Crystal and looking stressed.

“So, dress shopping is happening on Wednesday?” Crystal asked. “Does she know?”

“Of course she doesn’t know,” Priyanka scoffed and shook her head, “I have no idea how to keep her from knowing, no one can keep a secret in their family.”

Crystal winced but nodded. “Well, good luck,” she offered before Gigi made their way to her side and her attention immediately became divided.

“Thanks,” Priyanka mumbled, her gaze drifting to Lemon, who was talking animatedly to Jan and Rosé, “I’ll need it.”

------

By the time Wednesday rolled around, Priyanka’s nerves hadn’t quelled in the slightest. Lucky for her, at least, those with her — her mother, sister, and future mother-in-law wrote it off as pre-wedding jitters. Scarlett knew better, but there was no need to blow up her best friend’s spot like that.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to a more traditional store?” The mother-in-law asked, “I know Mark doesn’t want your culture to be ignored.”

“It will be two separate ceremonies,” Priyanka’s mom cut in before she could speak for herself, “she will be wearing her grandmother’s sari for that.”

Priyanka had to fight off the pained expression that tried to twist its way onto her face. It was only when she had broken the news to her family that she remembered what a big event weddings were in her family. She wasn’t about to get off lightly with this. Instead, she let the assistant at the shop lead her to a rack of dresses and suggested a few. She agreed to them without giving them a proper look, figuring she would let a majority rule.

Once she was in the first dress, she returned to the main room and stepped up on the platform in front of the mirrors. Right away, the women began discussing and debating the pros and cons of the dress — where it fit right, where it’d need to be taken in. But she couldn’t bring herself to focus on anything, instead zoning out to the song playing through the store’s speakers.

I'm living for the only thing I know I'm running and not quite sure where to go And I don't know what I'm diving into Just hanging by a moment here with you

Normally, Priyanka would roll her eyes at this sort of song, at the cheesy love in the lyrics. But with her only alternative being actively participating in shopping for a wedding dress, she listened to the music and let it resonate.

Desperate for changing Starving for truth I'm closer to where I started I'm chasing after you

She winced but blamed it on accidentally being stuck with a pin. They didn’t have to play a song that hit so close to home, she thought. It made it that much harder to ignore the feelings that bubbled up inside her. It was only then that she realized someone was talking to her. “Huh?”

“I asked if you liked the dress,” Scarlett replied.

“Oh,” she cleared her throat. “Yeah, it’s fine.” She then realized she should have been more convincing because she found herself ushered back into the dressing room to try on dress number two, which she would then force enthusiasm for so the day would end as soon as possible.

“Are you okay?” her mother asked with sincere concern.

Priyanka nodded as she stepped off the platform. “Just a little lightheaded, I didn’t have breakfast.”

“Well, let’s get this dress taken care of, then we’ll go get something to eat.”

She nodded again as she went back to change into her regular clothes. Maybe she did just need to eat, she thought. Maybe some food or a nap would bring her back into reality. The reality where she was preparing to get married. The reality that Lemon could no longer be the main character in, no matter what some stupid song was trying to tell her. Or even worse, no matter how much she wanted her to be.

------

“You don’t normally ask me to make house calls,” Jaida remarked as Jackie let her into the apartment, “is everything okay?”

Jackie exhaled deeply. No matter how many times she had rehearsed what she was going to say, she still ended up tongue-tied the second she laid eyes on her. But she was determined to work her way through this and not let nerves get the best of her. “I watched the video you did with Denali. I… I watched it more times than I’d like to admit,” she confessed. “And I can’t get the image of you fucking her out of my mind. But more specifically… I can’t stop picturing myself in her place.”

Jaida had to put all of her mental energy into fighting off a smug grin. She wanted to choose her words carefully, not wanting to overwhelm an already anxious Jackie. “Since we’re being honest here, that’s kinda what I was aiming for,” at Jackie’s confused reaction, she continued, “you could have been less obvious with your username and how you talk online. Maybe it’s ‘cause I know you so well, but I could read all of your messages in your voice.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured to confront how you felt, considering your coming out was still fresh for you. I just wanted you to know that the option was there whenever you were ready.”

There was a silent beat before Jackie swallowed thickly and told her, “I’m ready.”

“Then tell me what you want, baby.”

“I want you to fuck me.” The words felt foreign for Jackie to say, the phrase has never left her lips with any sort of sincerity before. But at the same time, she had never been more certain in her life about what she wanted and how badly she wanted it.

Jaida moved to Jackie, wrapping her arms around her waist and kissing her deeply. “I’m gonna take good care of you, okay?” she promised as they made their way to the bedroom.

And Jackie trusted her, she trusted her more than she would have anyone else in this position. She let Jaida take her to bed, let her take her time undressing her and pressing kisses to every newly exposed inch of skin. She eagerly helped her clothes off as well, letting her hands roam her body in ways she had only fantasized about.

“I don’t want you to be afraid of being loud,” Jaida told her. “I wanna hear you, wanna know how good I’m making you feel.” As she spoke, her fingers glided down Jackie’s body, stopping between her thighs before starting to rub her clit in small, firm circles.

Jackie’s head tilted back into the pillows, soft moans spilling from her lips. Her body yielded to Jaida’s touch and her moans grew louder as the other woman eased one finger into her, thrusting and curling it before adding another and picking up a steady rhythm.

“Good girl,” she praised, trailing kisses down her body. She then slowly eased her fingers out and replaced them with her tongue, licking and thrusting at a similar pace while her fingers moved to rub her clit in tandem.

It wasn’t long before the sensation became overwhelming and Jackie’s hips started to jerk erratically. She barely managed to squeak out a warning before she came harder than she ever had before, her body trembling when she was spent. “Oh my god…”

Jaida came back up and laid beside her. “Are you okay?” she asked softly, pushing the hair out of her face.

“I’m good,” Jackie assured. “I just… I haven’t… it, um…”

“Jackie…” she furrowed her brows and sat up a bit, “have you ever been with a woman before?”

Jackie’s face turned a deep shade of red. “I have, kind of. It’s been hard to work through so many years of repression and internalized homophobia, you know? I’ve made out with girls, fooled around a bit. But I guess no, I’ve never properly had sex with another woman before. I wouldn’t have wanted to put that pressure on you anyway. Besides, I couldn’t have asked for a better first time.”

Jaida exhaled deeply, suddenly becoming aware of the weight that’d built upon her chest. “Then that’s all I needed to hear.”

------

“There’s a birthday party out there tonight,” Gigi remarked offhandedly as they and Lemon got ready in the quick-change room. “I know how much you love those,” they added with an overly exaggerated eye roll.

Lemon groaned. Birthdays and bachelor parties were tied for the worst groups of men to deal with as clients, the only exceptions being the ones that take it as an opportunity to go all out and tip well. “And you’re on the stage next?” she let out another disgruntled whine when they nodded, finishing off her cocktail. “Gonna get a refill, gonna need it for doing rounds.” Naturally, when she went to the bar, she went right to Crystal. The downside was Crystal knew to cut her off after three drinks and she had to flirt with men to keep the drinks coming.

“You’re getting your third one this early?” Crystal questioned as she mixed it for her. “Something on your mind?”

“Nope. Just got a birthday party that’s probably all gonna want lap dances,” she replied, taking a swig as soon as she got the drink in her hand. Sure, it didn’t help that she had seen Scarlett’s instagram post of Priyanka in her wedding dress earlier, but she wasn’t about to hash that out, especially not with the bride-to-be all of four feet away.

And Crystal wasn’t entirely convinced, but she knew there was no use in pushing further. “Well, good luck,” she offered.

Lemon set her empty glass on the counter before making her way through the crowd. It took a little while before she ended up in the vicinity of the group of men, and not long after that, they flagged her down. At first, it was business as usual, though she couldn’t shake the feeling that one of the men seemed familiar.

“Hey Mark,” the man celebrating his birthday remarked, “maybe we should come back here for your bachelor party. I bet Priyanka won’t mind!” he laughed.

That made Lemon freeze in her tracks as it all clicked. She saw red and her blood boiled with a wave of anger and loathing she had never felt before. Something inside of her took over, she hadn’t even realized she had thrown a drink in his face and screamed at him until Kameron was pulling her away and all eyes in the club were on her, including Priyanka’s, who had dropped everything to run over the second she heard Lemon scream.

“Who the hell are you?” Mark asked incredulously.

“I’m who your fianceé thinks about while you’re fucking her,” Lemon snarled while locked in Kameron’s grasp.

It was then that both Mark and Lemon realized Priyanka was right there. “What the fuck is she talking about, Pri?”

Priyanka felt her heart drop into the pit of her stomach as she prayed for the floor to open up beneath her so the ground would swallow her whole. She knew she had been playing a dangerous game, but she could have never predicted that it would blow up in her face this badly. “I-”

“She’s never gonna love you,” Lemon continued with disdain in her voice. But then her tone softened to a calm, albeit distant one. “But don’t worry,” she looked towards Priyanka, their eyes meeting, “she’s never gonna love me either.”

Other than the music playing in the background, the room was silent as Lemon let Kameron take her upstairs to the common room. “How are you feeling?” she asked gently as she sat at the other end of the couch, resting her hand on the smaller girl’s leg. “You really caused a scene back there.”

“Whatever,” she mumbled. “He was gonna find out eventually. You can’t live a lie forever,” she hiccuped as she sprawled her barely-dressed body out. “I need another drink.”

“The only thing you’re drinking is water,” she said sternly, getting up and grabbing a water bottle from the fridge and bringing it back, propping Lemon up enough so she could drink. “I’m gonna call Rosé and have her take you home, I don’t think you should stick around tonight,” she told her as she fished her phone from her pocket.

Lemon nodded and pushed herself to sit up properly. She hung her head down, intentionally hiding her face from Kameron as she sniffled quietly. “Pri’s gonna hate me now, isn’t she?”

Kameron winced, unsure of how honest she should be with someone both drunk and emotionally unstable. “I think once the dust settles, you two are going to have to have a long talk. It’s not gonna be easy, but it’s gonna be the only way you two have a shot at healing.”

“I ruined her marriage.”

She shook her head. “She ruined her marriage the moment she said yes to someone she didn’t want to be with. She probably would’ve gotten cold feet and left him at the altar,” she mused, both out of her honest belief and the hope that she could get Lemon to crack a smile. And once she did, she felt comfortable getting back up and calling Rosé, warning her of exactly what happened.

“I got here as fast as I could,” Rosé announced once she made it upstairs. “Three different guys tried to buy lap dances off me on the way, sorry,” she added before rushing to her cousin’s side. “You’ve done it now, huh, Lem?” she shook her head as she helped her to her feet.

Vanessa emerged from the locker room with the rest of Lemon’s belongings. “Here, you might wanna get her changed before you take her back outta here.”

Kameron furrowed her brows. “You know her locker combination?”

“Um… yes?” she tucked a bobby pin into her back pocket. “This ain’t about me,” she was quick to change the subject and helped Lemon get changed.

Rosé effectively ignored the entire exchange, saying her goodbyes to the other women before driving Lemon back home and getting her changed again, this time into pajamas. “Mik isn’t home, you can sleep in her bed,” she offered.

Lemon chewed her lip for a moment, then shook her head. “Can I stay with you? I just… I don’t wanna be by myself.”

“Of course, baby,” she assured and tucked her into bed. “Do you need anything? Water? Something to eat?”

“Need to wake up in a world where none of this happened.”

Rosé sighed sadly. “Fresh out, unfortunately.” She changed as well before joining her in bed. “Just wake me if you need anything, okay?” When she got a nod of confirmation, she turned the lights off and called it a night.

But that wasn’t the case for Lemon. No, she wouldn’t be so lucky. Even though she had been drunk, the incident replayed in her mind in great detail no matter how many times she tried to shut it off. That, coupled with struggling to sort through the mix of emotions still swirling through her, kept her awake for another hour or so before exhaustion took over and she passed out.

And back at the club, everyone else was left to pick up the pieces of the explosive incident. But as much as the clientele was willing to move past what they’d witnessed, none of the employees could get themselves to carry on. So, with Jackie’s blessing, they called it an early night and nearly everyone went back home.

Priyanka hung back, seeking solace in Jackie’s office, knowing her boss might be the only one that could understand the gravity of the fallout. “What the fuck am I supposed to do now, Jackie? This is effectively outing me to everyone. And I look bad too, they’re gonna find out I’m gay and a cheater in one go. What should I do?”

Jackie sighed, her heart truly breaking for her. “I wish there was an easy answer for this. I think, for now, you just need to get through the night.”

And Priyanka would, though she was afraid to fall asleep, overwhelmed with the need to postpone tomorrow as long as she could, because she had run out of ways to hide or lie her way out of it.

[keichanz]

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

hey @britonell​. do you remember Ride? yeah. that’s the one. anyway i have absolutely positively no explanation for this other than the fact that i’m a slut and also i’m blaming @clearwillow​ and @lemonlushff​ for this because they will know exactly where in the fresh fucking hell this came from. 

now if you’ll excuse i’m going to crawl back into the hole i came from and actually attempt to finish my 654 WIPs i have kthxbye.

anyway this is a follow up of sorts to my oneshot Ride because i have no self control. so here enjoy Stripper Inuyasha in chaps and a Stetson as i make him fucking line dance across a stage *cackle*

brief smut at the end but nothing exceedingly detailed because i’m lazy.

“Kagome,” Sango groaned, following her friend through the packed club and raising her drink above her head in order not to spill it as she meandered through the sea of people and tables. Jesus, this place was huge! “Why are we here again? And how the hell were you able to bypass that line? It was like a mile long!”

“I told you already,” Kagome called back over her shoulder, keeping a tight grip on her beer as she headed toward the only empty table in the entire establishment, reserved for a one Kagome Higurashi and guest. “We’re meeting someone.”

Sango didn’t fail to notice Kagome did not answer her second question and she sighed in irritation. Her best friend wasn’t telling her something and for the life of her she didn’t understand why. Kagome had always told her everything, and vice versa. There were no secrets between them, and that was why they were so close. But she also trusted Kagome and knew if it were truly important, her friend would tell her so Sango let it slide and muttered an apology as she bumped into a table while squeezing through the narrow paths. The tables were clustered so close together it was almost impossible to maneuver between them, but they managed and finally reached where Kagome had been leading them.

Gratefully sliding into the cushy seat beside her friend, Sango glanced around and couldn’t help but notice their table, which had been suspiciously empty in a fully packed club, was near dead center of the place and with a clear view of the stage not too far from them. It was empty at the moment, but the show hadn’t started yet, so not a surprise. Above the dull roar of chatter and laughter, Sango could hear a low beat coming from the speakers situated everywhere, standby music as the “performers” no doubt got prepared.

Sango flushed and took a sip of her Cosmo. She couldn’t believe she’d allowed Kagome to talk her into coming to a damn strip club of all places and she’d only given in because she was tried of her friend constantly bugging her about it. Hopefully after tonight, and after meeting whoever Kagome wanted her to meet, Kagome would be satisfied and never ask her again. These places just weren’t her scene, though of course she had nothing against strippers. Hey, you gotta do what ya gotta do.

Sitting back in her chair and crossing her legs, Sango sighed and set her drink on the table before turning her attention to the woman beside her. Dressed similarly like herself in a short jean skirt, cowgirl boots and a cami to give off that western sort of feel – something about the theme for the night apparently, from what Kagome had told her – said woman was grinning down at her phone with a soft blush on her cheeks, biting her lower lip as her fingers flew across the screen, no doubt typing a text message to her the new man in her life. Sango hadn’t met him yet, and every time she asked about him, Kagome would blush darkly and dodge the subject.

Not very unusual behavior for her friend, if Sango was being honest with herself. Kagome had always been reserved and shy, easily flustered and quick to stutter out an excuse if she was feeling embarrassed or awkward in a situation. So the fact that Kagome had chosen here of all places to meet their friend was very strange, to say the least. Still, despite herself, Sango was curious and knowing Kagome would just avoid the question again if she asked, she resigned herself to wait as patiently as she could for this friend of hers to show up.

Well…at least the seats were comfortable and the alcohol was good. And also free. Sango frowned. Wait a minute, how the hell—

Unbidden the lights shut off, plunging the club into darkness and instinctively Sango knew the show was about to begin. The lights lining the edge of the stage started glowing and there was a tangible buzz in the air, a heavy anticipation that blanketed the eagerly awaiting patrons. Sango was surprised to find herself actually a little excited, sitting up straight in her chair, staring hard at the dark stage and…

Wait a minute. She squinted, leaning forward. She could see figures on the stage, dark silhouettes moving into a triangular formation with one person in the front and four more branching out behind him. Her heart rate increased when she realized it was the dancers—the strippers. Ohmygod she was about to see a strip show—

Beside her Kagome could hardly contain herself, biting down on her lip to counting her squeal of excitement as she bounced a little in her seat. Though it was dark, she could just barely make out Sango’s face and she grinned from ear to ear to see her attentively staring at the stage, looking just about as excited as she felt.

Kagome couldn’t wait to see her friend’s face when she told her one of those dark figures standing motionless on the stage was her boyfriend.

Throughout the club, all the speakers hummed as the volume was cranked up, but at first there was nothing but static. Every few seconds a brief burst of music broke through before fading back to incomprehensible white noise, as if a radio dial was being turned to find that perfect frequency. This went on for another few seconds before the faint twang of a guitar was audible, the notes growing louder until an undoubtedly southern melody could be heard clearly above the gentle crackling of the static.

No lyrics accompanied the melody, no voice crooning out words of country roads, sweet potato pie, or mama. Instead all that could be heard was just the strumming of the guitar getting louder while steadily growing faster, the anticipation building, thrumming through the joint and creating a charged, restless energy until—

Silence.

A crackle, followed by an incomprehensible jumble of words, as if several radio stations were playing at once burst from the speakers, and then it was followed in short order by a widely familiar, but altered recording.

“Th-th-there’s a snake in my—”

A husky and positively sinful masculine laugh abruptly cut it off, echoing seductively throughout the club, and the wicked sound sent pleasant shivers down the backs of damn near every single female patron in the audience. Warmth pooled low in Kagome’s belly and she bit her lip because she knew who that laugh belonged to.

And then finally - finally - everyone’s attention was directed toward the stage as one by one, the dark silhouettes that were standing immobile were suddenly illuminated starting with the two in the back. The middle figures were next, first left, then right, and then finally at the head of their triangular formation, silver hair, golden eyes, and a positively devilish smirk was revealed on who was no doubt the star attraction of the joint.

While the patrons went wild and hollered their vivid appreciation, Sango’s mouth dropped and her face went very red as she took in the five figures standing on the stage. While fringed brown chaps coupled with black western boots concealed their legs, it was very obvious they wore nothing underneath them by way of the black briefs that were clearly visible. A matching brown suede western vest hung open from their shoulders with nothing else and expensive looking Stetson hats completed the cowboy look and honestly, Sango was kind of digging the look and she really wanted to know who the one with the small ponytail and charming smile was…

The response was deafening: riotous applause, exuberant cheering, screaming, shrieking, high-pitched whistling erupted from the audience. From beneath the brim of a sleek black Stetson, amber eyes found and zeroed in on a head of dark hair and melted caramel eyes in short order, sitting at her table as he knew she would be. Their eyes met and she smiled, a secretive curl of her lips that was returned with a flash of fang and a suggestive wink.

His girl blushed and bit her lip and fuck she was so goddamn beautiful.

If he’d bothered to take his eyes off of her for even a second, he would have noticed her friend beside her choking on her drink at the exchange, clearly shocked.

The beat dropped and forcing himself to tear his gaze away from her, Inuyasha adjusted the microphone headset – specially designed for his ears in mind – closer to his mouth and with one hand holding the brim of the black Stetson on his head, the other hooked into his chaps, and he waited for the next cue before starting the memorized choreography.

“Boys,” he spoke into the mic and behind him, his “boys” moved to the beat with him, holding a similar pose with one hand holding their hat and the other hooked in their chaps.

“Now, remember what we’re here for,” Inuyasha continued, purposely adding a southern drawl to his voice that elicited several hoots of appreciation from the crowd. “This ain’t no half-cocked or eight second rodeo. Ain’t no kiddie rides or little ponies up in here.”

In sync, Inuyasha led his fellow performers into a quick country two-step the flexed the muscles of his abdomen. More whistles and hollers of female appreciation were issued as he drawled, “Nah, what we got here is the real deal. We got them one of a kind”—slide a hand down the stomach—"large and in charge”—hip roll—“rough and ready”—step back, a little spin—“motherfucking stallions.”

Cheering amidst rowdy laughter and shrieked encouragement was the response to that and Inuyasha gave a fang-baring smirk, his low chuckle rising above the din of the crowd thanks to the mic close to his mouth.

“And believe me when I say,” he continued, kicking out his booted feet and transitioning smoothly into an easy line dance, “there ain’t nothin’ half-cocked about ‘em.”

More screaming and cheering, wolf-whistles and cat-calls abound and yeah Inuyasha had to admit, he was soaking it up like a fucking sponge.

“Now, ladies and gentlemen.”

The five men spun around in a brief circle and with practiced ease caught the prop that was tossed to each of them from off stage, not missing a beat before whirling back around to face the audience and straddling what they held in their hands—a hobby horse toy, the one where a stuffed horse’s head was on the end of a stick.

“A gentle reminder”—Inuyasha turned sideways, tilted his prop so the horse head at the end of the stick was pointing upward, and very suggestively stroked his hand up the wooden shaft—"that you must be this tall to ride”—feminine giggling, shrieks of laughter and more hollering met his ears at that and he grinned—“and that any lightheadedness or tingling sensations are completely normal.”

More hilarity and cheering, the crowd restless, impatient, so Inuyasha decided it was time to wrap up his little speech. After performing some rather provocative dance moves with their props that had every woman in the building feeling rather flushed, the five performers tossed their props back to the hidden stagehands and while Inuyasha strutted to the end of the stage, the other four took position behind him, preparing to put on one hell of a show.

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, cowboys and cowgirls,” he began and once more locked eyes with his girl, a devastating smirk curling his lips upward at her flushed and star-struck expression. “We kindly ask that you sit back, hang on tight, and enjoy…”

Strobe lights flashed, spotlights swiveled and bathed him in an ethereal glow, and the smirk that stretched across his face was all fang as golden eyes flashed from beneath the rim of his hat, dangerous, alluring, positively wicked.

“…the ride,” Inuyasha finished in a husky growl and as the crowd once more roared their vivid appreciation, the hanyou whipped off his headset before tossing it carelessly to the side and then fucking moonwalked back to his position, tipping his hat forward so only his smirking mouth was visible as he waited for the cue. It started only seconds later, the music reverberating throughout the club, and as one the performers started the largely anticipated show.

Only vaguely did Kagome recognize the beat that was pouring from the speakers, some kind of remix of the song The Git Up by Blanco Brown but it hardly mattered. They could have been dancing to something as ridiculous as the big butt song and Kagome would have been just as captivated, as enthralled as she was right now watching her man gyrate and pivot on the stage like he owned it. A lot of his moves were familiar now – both from being considered a regular here now and from his private little shows he gave her after hours – and Kagome suspected no matter how many time she watched him work those hips and roll that toned stomach, it would still have the same effect on her every single time, warmth pooling in her belly, heart beating fast, and a familiar ache developing between her legs.

Stealing a glance at the woman beside her, Kagome was thrilled to see that Sango was in a very similar state, her face redder than she could ever remember seeing, mouth parted in awe, and if she wasn’t mistaken, her gaze was focused solely on Inuyasha’s friend Miroku. Kagome had met him shortly after she and Inuyasha had started seeing each other officially and though he could come on a little strong at times with his wandering hands and flirty nature, he was a good man and Kagome genuinely liked him. Charming, witty, and with a surprising sense of humor, she knew he would be perfect for Sango and she decided to ask Inuyasha what he thought about setting them up.

But not until later, though, because right now Kagome’s attention was thoroughly ensnared by one silver-haired, golden-eyed Adonis as he drifted across the stage, flexing muscle, smirking devilishly, and every so often tossing her little winks that never failed to make her erupt into elated, girlish giggling.

By the time the first show of the night ended a disappointingly short five minutes later, all five performers were sans their vest and chaps, strutting around on the stage in naught but their boots, briefs, and Stetsons and looking utterly fucking delicious while they did. For the finale, the toy horse props had been made a second appearance and then the show had taken a very unexpected, but also very appreciated twist that had captive audience roaring with applause, cat-calls, wolf-whistles, and general pandemonium as every woman collectively lost her shit.

Each performer, with Inuyasha going last, briefly disappeared behind a screen that had been discreetly rolled onto the stage while the audience had been distracted by sexy dance moves and when they emerged, the briefs were gone and the hobby horse was held between their legs in such a way that the stuff horse head deliberately concealed any stallions from their screaming fans.

The dancers bowed and in another move that delighted the audience, each man removed their Stetson and tossed it into the crowd. Predictably they were fought over, women clamoring over each other to get to the precious souvenirs first, but Kagome ignored them all. Conveniently Inuyasha’s black hat found its way to her and she blew him a kiss as she placed it on her head to which her man winked at her with a grin before the stage went dark.

Giggling, Kagome turned to Sango to ask how she enjoyed the show and found that she was holding he own hat in her lap, a flush on her cheeks and a slight smile curling her lips. She recognized it was the one Miroku had been wearing and she smirked. Her little plan might be easier than she’d anticipated.

“Sooo,” Kagome drawled, not even bothering to hide her smirk as raised a brow at her friend. “Nice hat. It’s safe to say that you enjoyed the show?”

Flush darkening, Sango muttered something and proceeded to ignore her friend by putting the hat on her head and tugging it down over her blushing face. Kagome cackled and without removing the hat, Sango flipped her off. Kagome cackled louder.

Deciding to spare her friend further embarrassment, Kagome left to get them two more drinks and by the time she returned, Sango had cooled down and smiled her thanks when Kagome set a Manhattan down in front of her.

“Yes,” Sango sighed as nursed her drink and her smile was almost dreamy. “Yes, I admit it. I enjoyed it.”

Kagome simply waggled her brows and sipped at her amaretto sour, but before she could say anything else, she spotted a familiar figure, now dressed in simple jeans and a t-shirt, weaving through the sea of tables and people, fending off grasping hands of appreciative women. His honeyed gaze was zeroed on her, however, not once looking at any of the women that tried to get his attention and Kagome felt that familiar warmth bloom in her chest. She felt it somewhere significantly lower as well, but that was nothing new and she tried to ignore it as her boyfriend approached with his signature smirk.

“Ladies,” Inuyasha greeted and bent down to sweep his girl into hot kiss, caging her in his arms with a hand on either arm rest. “Baby,” he rumbled, pulling away and dropping a kiss to her forehead.

“Hmmm,” Kagome hummed and tugged him back down for another one. Inuyasha chuckled and happily obliged, getting lost in her taste, her scent, the way she twined her fingers in his hair and snagged his ear to massage the sensitive flesh. He growled, lifting a hand to cup the back of her head, tilting it back so he could plunder the sweetness of her mouth with his tongue, nip her lips with his fangs, and suck the soft flesh into his mouth. Kagome moaned for him and the sound went straight to his—

“Inuyasha, get your tongue out of your girlfriend’s mouth. You’re being rude.”

With a grunt, the hanyou reluctantly pulled away and leveled a peeved glare at the source of the voice.

Unfazed, Miroku stared blandly back, arms crossed while next to him, eyes impossibly wide and mouth open in shock as she sputtered incoherently, Sango gawked incredulously at them.

Rolling his eyes, Inuyasha grumbled something but nonetheless complied, dropping one last kiss to his girl’s mouth before standing up and gesturing at Kagome to stand up. She did, and he took her place in the chair before tugging her back down to sit on his lap. His arms went around her waist as his chin rested on her shoulder and Kagome wiggled around to get comfortable before resuming sipping her drink, calm as you please, like she hadn’t just been making out with her hot as fuck stripper boyfriend.

Recovering from her shock while Miroku not so discreetly looked down Sango’s shirt at her cleavage, Sango jabbed an accusatory finger at her friend and screeched, “Your boyfriend is a stripper!”

Kagome blinked and smiled a mite sheepishly. “Um…uh, so, Sango, remember when I said we were meeting someone here?” She chuckled nervously. “Well…”

Without warning Sango snatched her drink off the table and drained it in three large gulps.

Miroku practically had fucking heart-eyes as he gawked at the woman who had just downed a strong cocktail like it was nothing.

“Fuck, marry me,” he murmured, barely aware of what he was even saying and then he promptly forgot how to breathe when the woman of his dreams suddenly swung her gaze his way, racked her eyes up and down his body in an evident once over, and then made a noise of approval as her eyes lingered somewhere considerably lower than his face.

Feeling warm not only from the booze in her system but also lingering effects from the captivating show featuring the very sexy man before her, Sango abruptly got to her feet and pegged her best friend with a look. Kagome blinked and innocently widened her eyes. Sango snorted.

“You,” she said, eyes narrowing. “We’ll talk later. And you.” She spun around and jabbed her finger in Miroku’s face. His eyes crossed as he stared at it. “You’re coming with me.”

Then with that, completely ignoring the couple nestled in the chair with matching knowing looks on their faces, Sango stormed off, head held high and like an obedient puppy Miroku followed after her, nearly stumbling in his wake and ignoring the hands that reached out to him as he passed by.

Kagome and Inuyasha stared after her, one gaze amused, one slightly bewildered.

“Inuyasha,” Kagome deadpanned. “Meet Sango.”

Inuyasha snorted and maneuvered her around on his lap until her legs were draped over the armrest and her arms were around his neck. He buried his face in her neck and kissed the soft skin, ears flicking at her soft sigh.

“I think Miroku likes her,” he pointed out a little needlessly since it was obvious the guy was already half-way in love with her. His friend always did like a woman that could hold her liquor well and Sango’s first impression had been stellar.

“Hmm,” Kagome hummed and her friend was the last thing on her mind as she slipped her hand beneath his shirt and ran her fingers across the hard lines of her man’s defined abdomen. “I like you.”

Inuyasha smirked and kissed his way up her neck. “Yeah?”

“Mmmhm.” Scratching lightly with her nails just to feel him shiver against her, Kagome slipped her other hand into his hair and found one of his ears, fingers stroking the soft flesh. “You wanna know a secret?”

“Tell me,” Inuyasha growled into her ear and nibbled on the tender lobe before trailing his tongue along the delicate line of her jaw.

Breath hitching in her throat as his devious mouth licked and nipped at her skin, Kagome swallowed back a moan and slyly slipped her fingers further south to flutter over the crotch of his jeans as she leaned up and confessed her secret in a sultry purr.

Inuyasha’s entire body stiffened as her naughty words registered in his brain and he groaned, head falling back to loll against the backrest of the chair as his devil of a girlfriend snickered impishly on his lap. Damn, but his girl was dangerous, and fuck if he didn’t absolutely fucking love it.

“Well?” Kagome purred and he could feel her warm breath wash over his jaw as she laved the skin with soft kisses. “How ‘bout it, cowboy? Shall we go for a nice hard ride on your stallion, or you gonna make me settle for a boring little pony show?”

Her fingers flitted over the hardening crotch of his jeans again and she felt an answering pulse between her legs, thighs squeezing together to relieve some of the building tension.

With a low growl designed to tell her just what he thought about her cheeky little teasing, Inuyasha surged forward, caught her mouth in a hard, demanding kiss and then suddenly he was on his feet and dragging her toward the employees only backstage entrance. Breathless, aching, and trembling, it was all Kagome could do to keep up with him, shamelessly admiring the flexing muscles of his back and his tight ass in those jeans, but then her back was suddenly against a wall, her hanyou had wedged himself between her legs, and his hand was up her skirt, claws hooking in her damp panties and tearing the fabric completely off.

Kagome gasped but it turned into a moan when her lover hitched her thighs around his hips and then hastily unfastened his jeans, freeing the stallion that was rearing and ready to go from within. He cursed, she laughed, and the next minute he was inside her, grinding her into the wall, swallowing her moans with his mouth and returning them with heated growls of pleasure.

He fucked her against the wall, in a rarely used dark hallway somewhere behind the stage, and as Kagome clung to his shoulders and begged him for more, harder, faster, please, Inuyasha snarled and complied as her naughty little confession rang in his ears over and over, fanning the flames of his passion, his hunger for this woman all-consuming and never ending.

“I want your full cocked, large and in charge stallion inside me in the next thirty seconds and it had better be longer than any eight second ride.”

i want you all to know hat i could not. stop. laughing. as i was writing Inuyasha’s sexy little speech and that i am very proud with how it turned out rofl also yes i did make Inuyasha line dance anD I’M NOT SORRY 

on another note, i didn’t put as much detail into the dancing this time because one it’s a fucking pain in the ass to write out detailed choreography; two, the actual dancing wasn’t a huge part of the plot, and three, i’m a lazy piece of shit and just wanted this done. also yes i’m aware that last line is kinda lime and anti climatic but i couldn’t think of anything else lmao 

for anyone curious, the eight second thing references bull riding. a cowboy must stay on a bucking bull for eight seconds without touching any part of the bull or yourself or using any spurs, ropes, ect.  

[whatiwillsay]

DA3

DA3: costumes

1.10.19

geometry

questo amore

bowery

moonlight (hold me in the)

on the dl

kitten

a 13 dollar bill

—

The title of this album is a lyric from “kitten.” More generally, though, masking/secrets are a theme of this album, making the title thematically appropriate.

“1.10.19” is a song that confirms that Klossgron did, in fact, hook up between two and four times. The song is sonically a mix of “Still Into You” by Paramore and “This Love.” (I know that sounds impossible, but trust me, it works.) In it, Dianna reminisces about how she had a casual hookup(s) with this one person, but she ultimately found herself in over her head. She mentions the baggage and drama surrounding the situation and admits that she only pursued this person initially out of a sense of revenge and satisfaction—almost like, Karlie’s not into you anymore, Taylor, but now she’s into me, so what does that say about the fact that you left me for her? (even though I know that Taylor did not actually primarily leave Dianna for Karlie—this is my fake fan fic album, lol, so I’ll fan fic some Swiftgron/Kaylor drama too, haha). The title is the date of the infamous Klossgron blind item.

“geometry” is a song in which math terms are used as metaphors/symbols for specific relationship issues. It’s a jazzy song that includes a sample of Oscar Peterson piano playing. Notably, the chorus includes the lyric: “Your treacherous slope / Had me falling, falling / Down the rabbit hole / Blind with love but running out of hope.” (Slope is a math term indicating the steepness of a line. I gave the equation for it in my original submission.) This lyric is significant for a few reasons. First, it is an obvious parallel to “this slope is treacherous” in “Treacherous.” Second, it mentions falling down the rabbit hole. Lastly, “blind with love” is a parallel to Taylor’s “BLIND FOR LOVE” jacket in the LWYMMD music video.

“questo amore” is an Italian phrase that translates to “This Love” (yes, like the Taylor song). The entire song is sung in Italian, and its genre is jazz standard/swing (think early Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, even a little bit of Ella Fitzgerald influence, etc.) It has a full band, including an extensive saxophone and brass sections. The song is a pretty cookie cutter love song for Filippo. But here’s where things get interesting—in one lyric, Dianna mispronounces an Italian word so that it sounds more like “Taylor” than the actual word. All of us have flashbacks to when Taylor misspelled Hyannis Port to make it look closer to Dianna—Dianna is doing the same thing here, but with a mispronunciation rather than a misspelling.

“bowery” is the most emotional song on the album. It’s a song about how she had to live in a lot of different hotels as a child, and nowadays, she feels more at home in a temporary, lifeless hotel than any permanent settlement that forces her to make the place hers and become vulnerable. She mentions the Bowery Hotel in the song, since it’s a song about wanting fleeting flings that take place at hotels such as the Bowery, rather than a real Let’s Buy A White Picket Fence House Together type of love. This song leads you to change your blog to a William Bowery truther blog claiming that Dianna is William Bowery. (Note: the song is more so a general reminiscence on love rather than about one specific woman.)

“moonlight (hold me in the)” is a response song to “Daylight” and also about the Hunger Games date. It features the same jazz standard style as “questo amore,” but is certainly more sad, mournful, vengeful, and bitter. Dianna sort of is calling out Taylor, pointing out the hypocrisy of the song “Daylight” since Taylor is still closeted and no longer with the love of her life (Dianna). The parenthetical title “(hold me in the)” is a reference to Liz’s song “Shut Up and Hold Me.” Dianna sings a lyric about how Taylor never shut up and never held onto anything good—and as a result, Dianna is left helplessly standing in the moonlight, trying to see despite only having mere reflections of the sun’s (Taylor’s) light. 

“on the dl” is an Ivankie anthem! It’s sonically a little bit similar to “Talk” by Hozier, but with a gossip-y tone rather than a serious one. The title is a reference to Don Jr.’s mistress’s tweet, in which she said that Ivanka is a lesbian on the DL. Because Dianna hooked up with Karlie a few times (see the first track of this album for my evidence), Karlie told her that she also hooked up with Ivanka for a few months. It was pillow talk; you know how it is. So now Dianna wrote “on the dl” about how everyone surrounding her has secrets and how she feels caged by secrets. But that theme is more subtle—the main message of this song is that Dianna feels a bit powerful in that petty popular girl way, because she finally has some shred of power: the knowledge of this secret.

“kitten” is a reference to the Swiftgron costume party in which Taylor dressed up as a cat on a leash and then later wrote that note on Dianna’s door about a kitten needing to nurse. “kitten” is the album’s sex song; sonically, it’s similar to “So It Goes…” but in a more alto range and sung with a more condescending, seductive tone. This song outs Dianna as a kinky top. At one point Dianna refers to her partner (whose gender is otherwise never specified) as a greedy girl—straight twitter will defend Dianna, saying that this line was sung from the male perspective. Gaylor twitter will have a meltdown at this Bottom!Taylor content. One verse strongly implies that Dianna has a choking kink and a knife kink (I say this because of those posts you found on her secret tumblr).

“a 13 dollar bill” relies on my own fan fic narrative about Swiftgron (that actually contradicts the previous fan fic narrative I made in this very album, lol), so you’ll have to bear with me here. Basically, the song is about how Dianna sold her one and only true love (Taylor, represented by the number 13) for the financial security of being married to a rich man (such as Winston and Filippo). She’s sad that she had to give up Taylor, but she sings that she has no regrets. Sometimes she’s left wondering what could have been, but she’s secure in knowing that she’s in an okay place now. Sonically, the song is similar to “Alanis’ Interlude (Stripped)” by Halsey.

submission⬆️⬆️⬆️

truly iconic you definitely win the conest

[drewschermickblindone]

Drew Schermick Reviews:

Louis Gibbor & DJ JahBluez- The Supernatural Progression of the Boom Bap

  I have had the pleasure of being in the studio to witness the magic my two friends St.Louis Gibbor & DJ JahBluez can create.

After watching and listening to them do their thing, I can profess that they are indeed the real deal.  Gibbor is among not only one of Arizona's most passionate and creative MCs but a true force in all of underground West Coast hip-hop.

His lyrical style and song writing is, dare I say, avant garde in his delivery of raw and left field approach to rap.

Jah is one of the most seasoned and invested producers in all of hip-hop; his approach to beat making and song crafting is second to none.

His production keeps evolving and as I take notice of the vast list of artists he has collaborated with. His catalogue is intimidating.

When my friend asked me to have a listen and offer some critique of their new project, I was excited from the start.

So now we have for you:

The Supernatural Progression of the Boom Bap-

  Movement-

           The opening track Movement begins with some ethereal synths.

Gibbor enters the track with some smooth vocals speaking of and on the weight of the world and its effect on him and those closest to him.

The hook is Gibbor repeating "the movement" with a nice reverb/delay with Jah inserting a nice soulful sample that pairs with St. Louis's hook.

Jah's kick and snare plus hihats mingle well with his synth based melody, which complements gibbor and medusa's lyrics and vocals nicely.

Medusa, the undisputed goddess queen of underground hip-hop, is so elegant and her contribution to this track only strengthens its resolve of subject matter and musical vision.

Gibbor ends the track with some abstract poetry about WOMEN, race, melanin, sex, love, and man's conflict with female interactions.

Jah brings in an interesting distorted clapping type sample at the end that wraps up the track with some mesmerizing production.

A truly beautiful track and a perfect way to kick off the record.

 Homesick-

           Jah's whirly strings and heavy snare begin the track, with Gibbor coming to give the DJ his props before talking about going back home to his people back in Cali. Gibbor proceeds to flow faster and demonstrate his lyrical velocity by telling a road trip story which flows into the lovely chorus where he pays homage to Albert Hammond's It Never Rains...

           While Jah brings in a beautiful female vocal sample, Gibbor raises his singing range as Jah brings in some dope biggie scratches.

           818 213 indeed.

  Scorpions' Kiss-          The vinyl crackle at the beginning of this track shifts my attention from Cali to the Middle East. Jah's production here is fine art.

                       The clarinet (woodwinds), flute, and boom bap drums emulate a type of Egyptian Noir drama score where the gods Gibbor, OHM & Myka9 come with so much heat

                       I feel as if I am in the desert on a tour to solve an ancient mystery.  Gibbor and Myka's styles mesh so well and Ohm's verse at first feels out of place and replicable, but on a second listen, I feel as if his contribution balances out their more singsong approach with his AOTAesque hard raps that complement the scene and cinematic style.

           The takeaway message of this track seems to be about cherishing the moments in time that make up our narrative and legend, overcoming our fears, and enduring.

           This is like an extraordinary film in music/song form, an epic track that deserves much attention and acclaim.

 Darling Carla-

 The strings and synths make one feel as if something is lurking around the corner.

Gibbor comes in stripped down speaking poetically about a woman/wife.

Gibbor seems to get personal and to speak tragically and romantically about a magical love and time lost.  

           I can relate and sympathize with track on a personal level, as I have had similar failed relationships that I can attribute to my brokenness.

           Hurt people hurt people; this cliché explains the last verse of the track where he opens up with a vulnerability rarely seen/scene in hip-hop.

             I am captivated and deeply touched by this one.

  This That-

Jah's sped up cuts that open and come in and out of this track are dope and fun laying the foundation for this banger.

Tomeicko kicks off the first verse with some interesting cadence and delivery. Her content is a bit dry. Some battle /semi-conscious raps work for this more straightforward track.

Volume 10 second verse is what we all would expect, respect, and admire from the West Coast legend. Gibbor's final verse, in my humble opinion, eclipses the first two verses.

I am most enthralled and into the beat and production on this track. Jah creates something fresh yet oddly reminiscent of the 1990s; it works and this song acts as a nice reprieve after the serious and heartbreaking feel of Darling Carla, thus moving the album forward in a cohesive placement.

  Play times over-

Play times is a haunting tune where Gibbor explores some horrorcore and social-political type verses.  

Despite his dark delivery and subject, his vocal stylings are very polished and he is clearly preaching what he truly believes, questioning our exploitations and personal beliefs that shape our society.

He delves into some religious rhetoric and critique which may be triggering for some, or for those with open minds, a lot of content to digest and ask yourself about; your own values and idealizations come into question.

Overall, a very deep, debating, thought provoking, and brave track that is a possible nod to Revelations?

  PSA12-

 Named by JahBluez. Public Service Announcement 12. The 12 has multiple meanings to him but he is primarily speaking on the Technic 1200 turntable.

My roommates The Adepts shine on this dope cut.

Dapper Dan kicks things off rhyming about graff and the failings of society.

Midknight comes straight in after Dap with some more social commentary followed by a nice vocal sample that transitions the track to Gibbor's world, where he continues to touch on the state of the nation with a shout-out out to his higher power; his delivery here is exceptional.

OHM follows, dropping more knowledge followed by a sick turntable demonstration by Blesd1.

Ohm comes back in again giving props to the Shapeshifters and co.

Overall, it’s a decent track that keeps the album flowing, and hearing my close homies get some shine on such an exceptional record brings me a smile.

  Give it your all-

 Gibbor goes all in speaking his truth over a dope beat with a nice conga bleed into the programmed drums complimented by a slick sample give it your all.

This song is inspiring and begs the listener to give 100% to all their endeavors

 The perfect insurgents-

Another track with Dapper Dan & ohm illuminating conspiracies and finding our purpose in the madness.

The production is solid but feels less inspired than the other songs on this album.

OHM comes with more social-political hip-hop. Ohm’s delivery on this verse is ill and noteworthy.

Gibbor’s chorus is for real and epic. Dan spits some misogyny/spiritual bars, almost contracting himself, but reeling himself back with an enlightened style that is cool as ice.

Gibbor's last verse comes also with more worldview commentary but starts to feel redundant after the last two tracks.

I'm trying to find more connection to the title referencing the insurgency and becoming radicalized and forging alliances against the evils of the world, but I think I can hear it subtly in this one.

  The Fraternity-

 Jah lays down some military type production with the drumline type beat and the trumpet sample. Jah's cuts between verses are really dope and adds dimension.

Mista Crane, my friend NOK, Embrae, and Gibbor all hold their weight on this gargantuan track. Nod your head to this banger where these heavyweight MCs illuminate the hypocrisy and failed political system, the negative forces that threaten our vision and drive us as artists and men bringing the fire to this standout track.

Gibbor’s finishes off the track with one of his finest verses on the album touching on spiritual revolution and those who are asleep at the wheel.  This one bangs and commands RESPECT.

  The Ghost-

 We are now at the final closing track titled "The Ghost"

Piano and horns float as Gibbor's poetic stylings have me in a trance.

He delves into the existential, self, and ego. Then, out of nowhere, he comes in with this Myka9esque hook featuring soulful, wild, quick, and exhilarating singing that finishes off the album on a poignant note.

A gorgeous whirlwind of a song and a perfect ending with Jah bringing in the wind. I love it.

 8/10

()()()()4/5 mics

 Drew Schermick 2021

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

Confetti Album First Listen (+ Reflection) Thoughts

General Thoughts:

Earlier this year when Break Up Song dropped, I was so excited for this album. As someone who felt LM5 + Bounce Back was rushed and relied too much on nostalgic production and as someone who still stans Glory Days, this felt much more like my sound. To compare this to another artist, I had hoped this album had been the equivalent to Taylor’s Reputation; not in sound, but in the fact that I didn’t like 1989 and wondered if I had outgrown her only to be proven wrong with Reputation. And with a lead single as strong as Break Up Song (and One I’ve Been Missing), I was very hopeful.

However, none of the singles that followed lived up to this standard in my opinion. I still hate Holiday, Not A Pop Song is nostalgic but ultimately a forgettable song, Happiness just felt like a weaker The Cure and to be honest, even now, I could not tell you the first thing about Sweet Melody.

As I will discuss, this trend continued with the album. In short, I feel as if this album had a lot of potential and in theory, I should have loved it. But I also feel like it fell into the same trap as LM5 for me in which nostalgic production was too heavily relied upon. But where LM5 had diamonds in the rough which I still adore, Confetti feels lacklustre lyrically to the point I can only realistically see myself listening to Break Up Song consistently in the long run, with maybe three other songs if I’m in the right mood. Ultimately, Confetti is a off-putting mix of the girls seemingly not caring to put in the effort anymore and yet still trying to hold onto getting chart hits. Further, Confetti sounds as if it was made from the rightfully cut songs from Get Weird. And though Get Weird is my tied second favourite album from Little Mix alongside Salute, Confetti just doesn’t stack up.

If I haven’t already turned you away, my thoughts on individual songs will be below.

Break Up Song: As I’ve already mentioned, I love this song. It’s very classic Little Mix in a way that doesn’t like I’ve heard it from them before. All up it’s just a really fun song which feels like a throwback to Glory Days and I hope more songs like this are in their future.

Holiday: I hate this song. Like it was very clearly made to be a hit with mixed results but nothing about it appeals to me. I don’t really think there’s much else to say, especially seeing as this seems to be the one take I have in this fandom which isn’t unpopular lmao.

Sweet Melody: I’m going to be honest, I do not understand the hype for this song. The video is alright and I’m glad the choreography is back, but ultimately it feels mismatched to the song upon looking up the lyrics. Like I feel like it would have been better for a Salute song than here. It definitely sounds very 2000s girl group which typically I like, but again, when I feel like I’ve heard it all before, it’s like ‘okay well why should I come back to this song in particular?’. Ultimately I guess I could use it as background music. Like it’s not bad, just very forgettable.

Confetti: This is one of those songs that in theory I should love. It has a good message behind the lyrics. But again, ultimately I find it forgettable, especially from a group that has several songs with a similar message. I will give it that in a club setting, the chorus probably goes off.

Happiness: I’ll be honest, had Little Mix not released The Cure, I probably would have liked this song. ‘I was searching for happiness, I was using you to fill up my loneliness’ is a great line, especially when thinking about who I’d relate to this song to personally. But like in general, I just feel like this is a weaker version of The Cure lyrically and find myself more inclined to just listen to The Cure instead.

Not A Pop Song: I’ve mentioned in past posts that this song makes me nostalgic for the late Christina Grimmie’s song My Anthem and while that made me smile, it’s another case of ‘okay well I can just go listen to Christina’s music’. I also feel this is a kinda weak resistance song, and not just due to the lack of profanities. Like again it feels like it was released for sales knowing that that ‘I don’t do what Simon says’ line would drum up gossip. So again, it’s an okay song for background music I guess, but definitely not a favourite from the girls.

Nothing But My Feelings: This one feels fun and gives me similar vibes to Private Show. While I think I’ll have to be in the mood for it, this one was one of the ones that positively stood out to me when I first listened to the album. Unsurprisingly, it also seems to be one the fandom as a whole likes the least given usually the songs I like are but yeah, I’d go as far as to say it’s a top three for me for this album. Although I will be the first to admit that that’s a low bar.

Gloves Up: I wasn’t surprised to see this was a fan favourite given the Salute vibes it gives both lyrically and in its production. However, I feel like it resembles Salute in the outdated way production wise. Likewise, lyrically I feel like it doesn’t stand up next to Little Mix’s other empowerment songs, so much like Happiness, I feel like I’m just going to end up listening to their past songs.

A Mess (Happy 4 U): Again, I feel like this is a song I should like. It’s relatable, the girls’ voices sound great on it and in theory should be emotional. But ultimately it just feels forgettable with nothing drawing me back to it in the way other songs I’ve previously heard with the same message/situation do.

My Love Won’t Let You Down: So I’ll say that I don’t feel like this ballad lives up to the girls’ past ones BUT THANK GOD THEY BROUGHT BACK BALLADS! Like this was the one thing I really felt was missing from LM5. This is definitely a top three track for me for this album and while again, I feel like I’m gonna need to be in the mood to listen to it, I feel like it will hit when I need it to.

Rendezvous: Again, Imma be honest, I don’t get the hype for this song. It’s another one that I feel like I’ve felt a million times before. It also kinda reminds me of a song that would be on Crazy Ex Girlfriend which like isn’t bad but a completely different vibe for me than what a studio album should be. Again, could be used for background music but ultimately forgettable.

If You Want My Love: ‘Everything you're doin' right now is so basic’ feels like a good representation of this song for me, not going to lie. It feels like a watered down 2000s track and as if You Gotta Not and American Boy had a baby lyrically. And those who know me know they’re not my favourite tracks.

Breathe: I actually really liked this song... until the chorus. Good and relatable message and lyrics with good production. But the production and repetition in the chorus just ruin it for me. I hope at some point they do an acapella or stripped back version without those features, but I doubt it.

[rukakikuchi]

LOONA theory - Heejin isn’t God of the LOONAverse; she was a fallen angel

One of the most popular theories regarding the LOONAverse is that Heejin is the God and created not only the LOONAverse, but the other girls as her angels. While this is an intriguing idea, since she is the first member of LOONA and her video “ViViD” essentially marks the start of the LOONAverse and their story, I don’t think Heejin is a God.

I mean, would an all-powerful God want to turn themselves into a high school girl and get stuck in an infinite time loop curse?

Okay okay, joking aside, while I found the idea interesting, I personally just see Heejin as a normal girl. However, I have recently been considering a new idea in regards to who Heejin really is.

In my theory about ViVi, I mentioned that her representative color was pastel rose, a shade of pink and an irregular color. Well, Heejin’s representative color is also a shade of pink; bright pink. And we’ve previously tied the colors of the girls to which world they might have originated from. So this got me thinking…

Was Heejin originally from Eden? Or perhaps even Heaven?

Heejin’s story

So we’ve already talked about Heejin’s story in “ViViD” in the context of her character in the LOONAverse, as well as through dream analysis, but now let’s look at it and see what clues we can find to Heejin potentially being from Eden.

We see Heejin working as a servant or housekeeper for a woman in black (played also by Heejin) lamenting her boring, repetitive days and wishing for a life filled with vibrant colors and excitement.

The woman she works for is clearly wealthy from what we can see of the music video. From the colorful mansion to the fancy clothes, there’s an overall feel of elegance and wealth to it. 

And as we know, Eden is meant to be a perfect world, though that “perfection” comes at the cost of personal freedom. And Heejin isn’t happy with the life she’s living. She’s bored of doing the same thing over and over; she wants something new, something different, something that excites her.

She says in her lyrics, “I wish for a new day each day I wake up, I don’t want to become numb towards myself without the light.”

This could’ve led her to the decision to leave Eden. I mentioned before that in the final shot of “ViViD”, she looks out the window as if she senses something. Maybe she felt something calling to her, or a strong desire to go to Earth.

Either way, she finally decided she had enough of her monotonous life in Eden and escaped. But, like we discussed with ViVi if she was originally from Eden, Heejin left without eating a forbidden fruit.

She didn’t become an android, but I think she could’ve lost her memories of Eden completely by the time she arrived on Earth. Or, perhaps like with ViVi’s memories, they were simply altered.

Another “ViViD” story

It’s interesting that Heejin has two versions of her solo song; the original jazzy “ViViD”, and the more laidback acoustic remix.

She didn’t get a second solo song like Kim Lip or Yves, which would’ve continued the pattern of the first member of each subunit getting two solo songs. They specifically gave her two different versions of the same song, similar to ViVi’s solo with “Everyday I Love You” and “Everyday I Need You.”

In fact, the two music videos we got for both versions seem to serve the same purpose as ViVi’s. “Everyday I Love You” showed us a restored though slightly warped version of ViVi’s human memories, while “Everyday I Need You” focused on ViVi in Hong Kong in what we can assume is the present day.

Now what about “ViViD”? Well, while the music video for the original version shows Heejin dreaming of a more exciting, colorful life in luxury, the video for the acoustic mix shows us Heejin on Earth, in Paris.

The footage was actually shot during the photoshoots for Heejin’s single, and most of the sets show Heejin in a gorgeously lavish mansion, wearing fancy clothes and jewelry. 

Moreover, she’s clearly happier, and more free.

Interestingly enough, they actually include a few clips that clearly show the photoshoot going on, with the staff visible, and Heejin talking to the camera. Several of these clips were even used in LOONA TV.

Now, outside the context of the LOONAverse, it’s a cute little montage of behind-the-scenes footage from Heejin’s Paris photoshoot. But what does it mean *within* the context of the LOONAverse?

Are we to assume that the real Jeon Heejin’s life as an idol is at least somewhat shared with her fictional counterpart in the LOONAverse? I wouldn’t say it’d be completely out of the question. After all, in Cinema Theory, there was a special clip called “ViVi’s Letter to Hong Kong” which showed the girls living their lives as idols but also contributed to the lore simultaneously (namely the ending shot of Jinsoul in her outfit from SCL).

It could be possible that Heejin becoming an idol would help her find the other members to gather LOONA, and they use their music to spread their message to other “LOONAs” in order to help them break out of the loop.

Moreover, there’s a shot that shows Heejin on a merry-go-round, perhaps representing her being stuck in the loop.

I also just generally find it intriguing that Heejin’s photoshoot have her in such fancy settings and dresses. Maybe this Heejin’s life is wealthy and luxurious, similar to the life she dreamed of having in Eden, but because she didn’t have the other members around, she could feel deep down that something was missing.

Heejin’s connection to Olivia

It’s been made clear to us that there is a connection between Heejin and Olivia. They’re the first girl and last girl to debut respectively. One girl not only has bright pink as her representative color, but wishes for her life to be full of vivid colors like a rainbow, while the other has silver or black as her representative color. They are day and night, the beginning and the end.

If Heejin was originally from Eden, it would make sense that they’d know each other, just like ViVi’s connection with Yves.

In fact, if you watch the Cinema Theory teaser, Heejin is the only one shot in black and white, holding a black bunny instead of a white one like in her solo video. 

Olivia was just shown as a silhouette, because she hadn’t been revealed yet, but why would they have Heejin, the girl associated with bright vibrant colors like pink, be shown in black and white?

Could it be representing when she was in Eden, and how she saw her life as lacking color? Or maybe it’s her shadow/dreamworld counterpart, something we’ve associated with being shown in black and white in the past. That could also explain why her rabbit is black instead of white; because things become reversed on the flipped side of the Moebius strip.

Okay, now that we’ve discussed one possibility, I’d like to discuss another possibility for Heejin’s true identity.

Heejin, the fallen angel

I’ve already talked about how I believe that the true God of the LOONAverse is a Goddess named “LOONA” and each girl might represent some aspect of her.

Well, I think Heejin might’ve actually been an angel who served under the Goddess, possibly even helping her create the LOONAverse. Like I said earlier, she was seen in “ViViD” as a servant, tasked by her master (who I have also theorized could be the Goddess taking human form to watch over Heejin) to clean the mansion.

Heejin might’ve been in charge of keeping the LOONAverse stable. But remember, Heejin is ambitious, a dreamer, and gets bored easily.

She might goof off every now and then instead of doing her job. She might dream up her own ideas of what she’d want to have in the LOONAverse. And that hubris might’ve gotten the better of her.

There have been a couple of hints that the story of Icarus plays some part in the LOONAverse. We see it referenced in Yves’ solo song... 

And there was also a painting of “the fall of Icarus” depicted in the mansion where yyxy taped their videos.

What if Heejin caused the LOONAverse to become unstable? Maybe she tried to add something into the LOONAverse to make it more exciting, more full of vibrant color, like she would want. However, whatever she did made the world unstable.

I’ve seen a theory that Heejin might’ve been the one to cause the loop the girls are trapped in, and if that were the case, maybe the LOONAverse becoming a Moebius strip was a result of that instability.

Regardless whether or not she did, she might’ve tried to undo her mistake, or even flew down from Heaven in order to try and stop the instability from getting worse.

Eventually, Heejin got caught up in that instability, drowned in the colors as they spread out of control, like we see in the music video. The Goddess likely undid what happened, as we see the colors fading by the end of the video, but it doesn’t completely get rid of the instability. The LOONAverse is now stuck in a Moebius loop, and Heejin is turned into a human girl without her memories as an angel.

It’s also possible that the instability and time loop curse might’ve been caused by an outside force. Pandora’s Box is mentioned in Kim Lip’s solo.

I even wrote a short story based on the LOONAverse where I portrayed the girls as angels, and that chaos was unleashed onto the world after a devil was released from a box. (Read here.)

Whatever the case may be, if Heejin was in fact an angel, she might’ve fallen from Heaven because of her ambition getting the best of her, and tried to save her friends and the world her Goddess made, only to become trapped on Earth as a result.

Hope you guys enjoyed this theory! Let me know your thoughts as well!

Until then, stan LOONA!

[twinkledadwa]

Home is Where (a ghost nest #1)

 november 7th, 4:47 am pst.

 in all sincerity;

 this interview was birthed from the innate fear of death. for what it is to ‘be a ghost’, beyond having the ability to slam doors after your passing, isn’t truly defined. a trait consistent throughout the many interpretations of angels, spirits, paranormal and such is the presence felt being an essence lost in time. ‘who’ a person is stops at their death. all human aspects stripped, ghosts work as an echo of a fading past; something more akin to a message in a bottle than an entity still living.

 so, in our lives, do we strive to create essences that continue to build after our deaths? or do we attempt to capture our essences well enough at the moment to make our ghosts stronger? the latter has been adopted for ‘a ghost nest’. i hope, for everybody’s sake, that it isn't explained again. context felt necessary to clear up why these interviews are in a hybrid, ‘Dear Sally’-esque format. what this should be considered, at most, is an exercise in essence on a minuscule scale.

 and on november 7th, at approximately 5:10 am pst, brandon macdonald expressed a similar sentiment. ‘tantrum provider’ for Palm Coast-based emo band Home is Where, they noted the name’s function as a subliminal advertisement; so that whenever the proverb it takes from is used, listeners at any moment in time will harken back to sound bleeding with vibrancy. ‘the scientific classification of stingrays’ (topical cover art) carries an urgency somehow familiar, symptomatic of the band stretching their foundations into their own monument. for ninety minutes, unknowingly breaths away from a new president-elect, we had a conversation.

 this is Home is Where’s ghost nest.

  So, how long is too long for us not to have a presidential assassination?

  Brandon: Um, that’s a good question. I was on a local podcast recently and, funny enough, I didn’t know going into it that they’re sponsored by a financial magazine?  I lost my shit finding that out. I was laughing my ass off. I was like, “your financial magazine, right now, is supporting an artist who is a dedicated Marxist. A communist who sees these people on the street and knows that I represent exactly what they’re against”. The song isn’t meant to be about an actual assassination or about Orange Man himself. I wanted it to be a comment on the structure itself, you know, how long living within it does it take before everything builds up and we eventually bite the hand that feeds us?

  Protest music that names specific presidents does not age well. Look at 80s punk, besides Dead Kennedys, mentioning Reagan. You know, what was the name of that compilation against Bush? The intention was to write a protest song that lasts longer than a presidency. Also, it was easier from a lyric-writing perspective, although there are plenty of words that rhyme with Trump. I don’t know about McConnell [laughs]. 

    Videos of ‘stingrays’ live date back to January. Was all the material off the next record written pre-quarantine?

    All of it. We were sitting on this material for a while, and we went into the studio in early April. We wanted to pump something out before, you know, the end of the world happened. So we got those done, it was mastered around May, and now we are waiting for a few more parts to be sent in. That’s no worries, it’s been a difficult time for all of us. The original plan wasn’t even to drop a single for ‘i became birds’. 2021 was coming up and we hadn’t released anything this year, so ‘stingrays’ felt like the most direct and obvious choice.

   In the world, how do you see both your personal presence & Home is Where’s presence?

   You know, I don’t leave the house much. If I do, I wear a mask. I go to work. I spend time with my cat. I hang out with my girlfriend when I can, as we’re pretty much on opposite schedules. The band hasn’t been up to much. We haven’t met since May and we’ve all faced changes in our individual lives, but at some point, when or if the chaos comes to an end, we’ll be playing together again.    In terms of Home is Where? We’re an emo band from Florida. There’s plenty of those. This might be a pretty trash take, but a lot of the bands in the scene comment on liberalism, and you can only gain so much by listening to it. You should spend your time reading theory, doing something actually important, so you’d be able to make a change in the world. So, in the grand scheme of things, Home is Where is not important. However, it is something I love and am fortunate enough to do. 

  Dear Brandon, of Home is Where.   I’m having trouble finding my own space when stuck home with my family. What should I do?

  Charley, in Pennsylvania.

------------------------------------------------

  Brandon: Is this referring to COVID?

  I’m pretty sure it is.

. Okay, I think I have an answer for this.

  In terms of finding your own space, just find something you’re passionate about and, fucking, dive headfirst into it. A few years back, around the time we started to get serious with the band, I was in a position where I didn’t have a job but I had enough saved up so that it was a few months until I had to worry about rent. With all the time I had, I wanted to buckle down and get really into something I wanted to learn everything about emo. You know, I knew Rites of Spring were the ones who started the genre and some of the stuff about the 90s, but I wanted to know all of it. There were 2000 emo albums that I downloaded and I listened through all of them. Everyone inspired me. Not all of them were good, no. Some were bad, but by listening to them, I knew exactly what I didn’t want to do. It helped clarify what I wanted Home is Where to sound like.

  Find something you’re passionate about. You know, reading theory, making art, do something that makes at home in your home. You can do so many great things.

  Do you have any song recommendations for this situation?

  I have two! The first is, well, you can never go wrong with Cap’n Jazz. Pioneers, truly some of the greats. Tim Kinsella is a genius; I do my best to take what I can from him. It’s him and Bob Dylan. The song is We Are Scientists! (by Cap’n Jazz). I believe some of the lyrics do touch upon that feeling of being stuck around other people. Like, “starchy product scripted people I never asked to care about”? “you can’t look at the sky without looking right through it”? Those lines are, mwah, chef’s kiss!

  The second is H.S. by Plunger. Let me pull up the lyrics to this. It’s another one that comments directly on feeling isolated from those around you. Here it is; “All these old faces/Smiling and laughing/But you’ll never leave fourteen”. Yeah, that seems to sum up the emotion this person expressed.

  Dear Brandon, of Home is Where.   Things recently ended with a person I had been seeing. I hurt them, didn’t communicate my feelings properly, and I feel like garbage for it. I leave the continent for 5 months in a few weeks, and I want to reach out before I leave, but also I want to give her space? Should I wait and see if she reaches out? I’m a dumb stupid idiot.   Dumb stupid idiot, in Maine.

------------------------------------------------

  ‘Dumb stupid idiot’ [laughs]. That truly is an emo question. I am sorry to hear that you’re going through that. That sucks, man. Heartbreak sucks. I wish you the best in leaving the country during COVID times, seeing as that might be difficult, and hopefully, it opens your eyes to new things.

 My one piece of advice is to give it time. I know a few years seems like a lot of time, but it really isn’t. There are moments where I, too, indulge in being derogatory towards myself. Home is Where has lyrics about feeling alienated, being hard on yourself. A few years ago, I moved back to the town I grew up in, and even though it was considered ‘home’, I didn’t feel that. It was tough. Eventually, over time, everything came together. You just gotta wait and look back when you’re in a better headspace,

  You’re going overseas, you have so many new experiences ahead of you. Who knows, maybe you two will end up working out, we’ll see. You got this. I’m rooting for ya.

   Do you have any song recommendations?

    I came up with three, actually. One isn’t emo or anything close to adjacent, so I added another to compensate.

   I Love You Too by Rainer Maria is the first one. It’s hard to find emo that deals straight up with a break-up, there isn’t much out there, but Rainer Maria stuck out. This song is killer. That entire EP is killer. One of the best emo bands ever.

   Idiot Wind by Bob Dylan is my second recommendation. Which is not emo, but in terms of break-up songs, it doesn’t get much better than this. Blood on the Tracks is fucking brutal; Dylan puts blame on pretty much everything.

  The other emo song is from, I want to say, around 2000 or 2001? Near the end of that 90s, ‘second wave’ emo, whatever it is considered. The song is For Meg by On the Might of Princes. It’s about Meg Griffin from Family Guy. No, it’s not. Actually, I am not sure, but this track has just about everything; it’s lo-fi, has some screams, and the lyrics seem to discuss a heartbreak;

 ”This is for you. to hold you close, to keep you Close to my heart. I'll scream it til your ears bleed You'll always have a friend in me”

 Great, great emo that gets heavy. They’re the only emo band that Brave Little Abacus cited as an influence on their sound. You should definitely check them out.

 Home is Where’s visual ghost nest (collages & mixtape visualizer) consists of: Modern Times//Halloween: Resurrection (”Busta Rhymes beating the shit out of Michael Myers is a 10/10 for me”)//Blood Diner//Simpsons: Hit & Run//City Lights//Woody Guthrie: Hard Travelin’//The Horror of Party Beach//Peanuts//Zippy the Pinhead//Fritz the Cat//The Enfield Haunting//Twin Peaks//Wayne’s World 2//Synecdoche, New York//Japanese Woodblock Prints

  Home is Where can be found on twitter, facebook, and bandcamp. ‘i became birds’ out 2021 on Knifepunch Records. 

 their ghost nest is on spotify. questions for future ‘episodes’ can be asked under the advice tab.

  this now exists. bless to brandon, Home is Where, and you all.

[steven-falls]

Steven Universe Future reviewed: Bismuth Casual

Basic Synopsis: On a trip to the roller rink, Steven and Bismuth become each other’s wing men so they can both score with their crushes.

There needs to be a counter for the number of times they’ve made this ‘Bismuth’/’Business’ joke.

Thoughts: As you may be able to surmise from my synopsis, the plot of ‘Bismuth Casual’ is straightforward and simple, even by Steven Universe standards. Which is pretty impressive considering it simultaneously develops two separate character relationships. 

This is obviously helped by there being parallels between Bismuth’s relationship with Pearl and Steven’s relationship with Connie. Both Bismuth and Steven just really want to spend time with their respective crushes, but aren’t able to effectively communicate that.

Is that an Avril Lavigne reference?

 appreciate that while Steven and Bismuth’s share a similar desire, the obstacles they face in achieving that desire are different. 

My first time watching this episode I was expecting Bismuth to struggle talking to Pearl’s human friends, in the same way Steven struggles with Connie’s friends. But Bismuth doesn’t, she’s completely confident around them. Bismuth is confident in expressing herself to everyone, with Pearl being the only person she feels shy in expressing her true feelings towards. This shyness is caused by Bismuth’s own internal nerves, there’s no external force influencing Bismuth’s behavior.

With Steven, however, there is an external force impacting his confidence around Connie. 

 He states that he’s fine with Connie when they’re alone, but falters when her school friends enter the picture.

Neither of Connie’s friends are bad agents, they’re not hostile toward Steven or anything, they’re just understandably confused by his behavior.

‘I know how that is, one time White Diamond tore into me, literally! She took my gem, I’m part gem by the way, she pulled it right out of my body.’

Honestly, that first awkward conversation Steven has with Connie’s friends just makes me lose it. He is clearing DYING in front of them and Connie does NOTHING to intervene and help him out. She just stands watching him crash and burn in silence.

Whilst their issues have different causes, Steven and Bismuth still end up in a similar position of not being able to spend time with their crush because they aren’t able to effectively communicate with them. 

I like how they resolve their issues of not being able to talk to their crushes by talking to each other instead, and being able to give each other the push they need.

 A literal push in Steven’s case. Right in front of the ‘No Pushing’ sign as well, Bismuth’s still the rebel she always was. 

This leads to Steven declaring all his bottled up anxieties to Connie, in the most melodramatic manner possible. We’ve had so many instances of character’s declaring their feelings in a dramatic outburst in this show that at this point I’ve grown a little numb to it. Steven even gave a similar speech to Peridot in the previous episode ‘In Dreams’, except that speech was much more intense and accompanied by interesting visuals.

They do at least take the edge off the one in ‘Bismuth Casual’ by having Steven punctuate his speech with ‘I don’t know how to skate!’, so the Crewniverse did have the self awareness to not play it straight. 

‘Every human has at least one of these in their home. Sometimes they even use it… for vandalism’

Is Pearl really not aware of what toilet paper is used for? I’m not sure if she was qualified to be Steven’s caregiver for all those years.

Although, I have to admit. Pearl handing out toilet paper would be pretty useful with the corona virus scare.

There are a lot of parallels between the skate rink in ‘Bismuth Casual’ and the rave back in the episode ‘Alone Together’. Sourcream’s DJing, Steven and Connie form Stevonnie to dance, and the rave from ‘Alone Together’ is even directly mentioned in ‘Bismuth Casual.’

A key difference between these two events is the role reversal between Steven and Connie. Now Steven’s the one feeling self conscious whilst Connie is confident in socializing. 

This shows how being raised in two different environments has impacted the characters.

Steven was once confident enough to become friends with everyone in the entirety of beach city. But him being so entrenched in gem culture and strife has led to him neglecting his human interactions. Whereas Connie has been attending school the entire time, it’s only natural she’d have a group of friends to socialise with. 

Although, Pearl having so many human friends shows that Steven struggling to talk with Connie’s friends can't be entirely blamed on him being a gem hybrid. It's much more down to his own nerves getting in the way. 

I love that Pearl’s friendship group is largely composed of alternative lesbians.

Speaking of Pearl’s human friends, somewhat surprisingly, the mystery girl from ‘Last one out of Beach City’  isn't included among them. I’m sure some people are upset that she didn’t make a return, but honestly I’m glad the Crewniverse never pursued that plot line. Falling for someone just because they look similar to the former love of your life is pretty shallow reasoning. I don’t think it would have been a healthy relationship for Pearl or a great message to send to the audience either. 

Now Pearl x Bismuth on the other hand is a ship I can get on board with, which surprised me because I never really thought about it before and I don’t care about shipping that much.

 But this makes sense. They’ve always been quite physically intimate with one another, they’ve always admired and look up to one another, and they have the longest shared history of any characters on the show, only outmatched by Ruby and Sapphire. Previously Pearl was always enthralled with Rose, but Rose was too preoccupied with the beauty of earth and humans to notice. Now Bismuth has a thing for Pearl and Pearl’s too busy making friends with humans to notice. Wow, symmetry! But Pearl and Bismuth skating at the end does leave hope that Pearl will reciprocate Bismuth’s feelings. Plus, Bismuth learned the lyrics to Pearl’s favourite song after only hearing it once. Come on guys, that’s just cute. 

Okay Pearl, at least wait till the kids are gone before you start stripping Bismuth.

[elceeu2morrow]

Mike Nied @mikeynied | February 3, 2020 12:31 pm

The lead up to the release of Louis Tomlinson’s Walls has been quite the journey. And it started four years ago when One Direction – one of the biggest bands of all time – went on an indefinite hiatus. After dropping their final album in 2016, the guys each had to learn what it meant to create on their own. In the process they tried on a variety of sounds before landing on one that worked for them. That’s especially the case for Louis, who experimented quite a bit with a string of buzz tracks. He also went through a multitude of life changes in the time and now emerges with a distinct sound and an even clearer message on his debut solo album.

Arriving January 31, it was well-worth the wait. The 12-song collection introduces us to Louis in a way that we haven’t seen him before. How so? It gives us an opportunity to engage with him directly as a solo star instead of one voice within many. He uses the opportunity and his powerful pen to to share a strong message of resilience. That comes across on every track from “Two Of Us” to “Fearless.” The end result is a compelling collection that boldly defies current trends and simultaneously proves he has more to say now than ever before. That alone is enough to chalk the project up as a serious win that will keep us coming back for more.

Score: 4/5

[full review under the cut - stunt free and very good]

1. “Kill My Mind”

And you won’t let go of your hold on me.

Walls opens with the song that signified a sonic rebirth for Louis. Of course, that would be “Kill My Mind.” After dabbling in everything from heartfelt floor-fillers to emo-pop, the crooner struck gold by throwing it back to the ’90s on the indie-rock inspired track. Laying his voice over a production courtesy of Jamie Hartman, he finds himself dangerously enchanted by a partner. And those feelings build up to a concussive and satisfying release on the chorus. Unsurprisingly, this lays out the groundwork for what is to follow.

2. “Don’t Let It Break Your Heart”

Whatever tears you apart, don’t let it break your heart.

After dropping “Kill My Mind,” Louis had no problem continuing his hot streak with a string of guitar-led buzz tracks. One of the best of those is “Don’t Let It Break Your Heart.” Produced by Stuart Crichton, this is a decidedly uplifting moment that reminds listeners to never give up hope no matter what obstacles get in their way. Expertly performed and very, very radio friendly, it deserved to be a much bigger hit for the solo star.

3. “Two Of Us”

I will keep you, day and night, here until the day I die.

No other song on the tracklist hits quite the same way as “Two Of Us.” The heart aching ballad is dedicated to Louis’ late mother and finds him swearing to live life to the fullest in her honor. There’s no denying the passion in his voice or the power of the lyrics, which manage to capture his true emotions without coming off as remotely saccharine. Instead, what he delivers is a raw moment that encapsulates the feeling of loss and that is bound to resonate with anyone who faced a similar tragedy.

4. “We Made It”

Never coming down with your hand in mine.

The influence of Oasis (one of Louis’ favorite bands) is abundantly evident on the retro-leaning “We Made It.” Here the former boy bander again revisits the sonics of “Kill My Mind.” Only this time there’s a certain sense of longing to the lyrics. The chorus especially is an anthemic sing-along that is going to be particularly effective in a live setting.

5. “Too Young”

We were too young to know we had everything.

Next up is “Too Young,” which strips back some of the stadium-ready production that defined “We Made It.” Instead, Louis earnestly shares a cautionary tale about the trials and tribulations of young love over sparse strings. This emerges as a personal favorite and feels like it wouldn’t be out of place on former bandmate Niall Horan’s debut album Flicker. In a good way, obviously. If life is fair, it will get a moment to shine at some point during the era.

6. “Walls”

These high walls never broke my soul.

During our interview, Louis told me the title track is his favorite song on Walls. And it’s easy to see why after even a passing listen. Another production of Hartman’s, the soulful mid-tempo provides a fitting follow-up to “Too Young.” In that it highlights the maturity with which he now approaches relationships. Opening at the apparent close of one, it is pleasantly surprising to learn that the song is actually about overcoming whatever barriers may have been in the way. The end result is a beautiful tribute to resilience and the ways we can grow alongside the ones we love.

7. “Habit”

You’re the habit that I can’t break.

There’s a thematic shift moving into “Habit.” Here Louis picks up the pieces after a failed relationship. But he has a hard time letting go of his partner. That’s evidenced by the simple but effective chorus. Even better are the intricately layered verses. Speaking of, fans are bound to have a good time attempting to unravel some of the clever hints layered within the lyrics. One of those is a mention to an apartment the hitmaker lived in after X-Factor and provides something of a timeline for the relationship in question.

8. “Always You”

I’m wasting my time when it was always you.

The closest Louis comes to giving us a One Direction-esque pop moment is on the sugary “Always You.” Produced by BURNS, the breezy anthem captures the moment he realizes that he’s found The One. Of course, he learns the lesson after traveling the world solo and having a couple adventures on his own. Held together by a vibrant chorus, it feels a little out of place when compared to “Kill My Mind.” However, there’s something so relentlessly upbeat and catchy about it.

9. “Fearless”

Tell me, do you still remember feeling young?

It’s a commonly accepted adage that with age comes wisdom. But sometimes we can overlook the benefits of being young. Chief amongst those is a childlike sense of bravery. This is a trait Louis celebrates and urges fans to continue embracing on the thoughtfully penned “Fearless.” The track features one of the more lush productions on the LP and also has the distinction of being my favorite song.

10. “Perfect Now”

If you knew what you were to me you would never try to hide away.

Louis delivers what could be considered a sequel to “What Makes You Beautiful” on “Perfect Now.” In that it is another achingly sweet love song that encourages a partner to recognize their beauty and self-worth. That comparison only highlights how much his songwriting and vocal skills have evolved over the years, though. The former will forever be a classic, but the newer iteration exists as a more reserved moment that perfectly captures what it’s like to be your loved one’s biggest cheerleader.

11. “Defenceless”

You keep on building up your fences, but I’ve never been so defenceless.

A recurring theme on Walls is Louis’s tendency to bare his feelings without consideration of the consequences. That’s exactly what he does on “Defenceless.” Here he strips back the armor from around his heart in order to give a partner everything they need. Joe Janiak’s production swells and recedes epically across the track. And this is another moment that only gets better the more you listen to it.

12. “Only The Brave”

It’s a solo song, and it’s only for the brave.

Clocking in at under two minutes, “Only The Brave” is the shortest song on the album. However the brief closer certainly doesn’t lack in personality. Defined by a rougher instrumental, it is easily the most stripped-back on the collection. This is a direction that I’d be interested in seeing Louis explore more in the future and that finishes his debut with what is hopefully a hint of more to come in the future.

Score: 4/5

[niiwa-angel]

Late At Night

// Authors Note. mentions of child abuse, bed wetting, and hospitalization, if this offends you this story isn’t for you. also I’m not law major nor a doctor so take any medical or legal things in here with a grain of salt. This story also has a same sex couple, if this is going to make you scream at me, kindly piss off. requests and feed back are always welcome.// 

The house was quiet, the street outside ethereally silent except for the distant sounds of the busy city still wide awake despite the hour, somewhere between very late or very early and entirely dependent on who was asked. A lone car driving on the empty suburban street broke the silence as the driver slowly took the curve, watching for any neighborhood pets that may be patrolling the area. While the outside was quiet, the inside of the car certainly wasn’t, as the driver’s music was turned up to fifteen while Queens “We Will Rock You” blasted from the speakers of the small car. Hal Jordan mouthed along to the lyrics of his favorite song, removing a hand from the wheel to massage his left eye as he slowly backed into his driveway, shutting the music off before opening the door. “The last thing I want is to wake the neighborhood.” He muttered to himself, pulling his military bag out from its place in the backseat. He knew that Ms. Earwood across the street would lecture him for hours if he were to let the sound of his music escape the confines of the car, her white hair pulled into a severe bun and her hobbled gait always reminded Hal of the old lady who always protected tweedy bird in looney tunes, is that woman was a busy body who found his “lifestyle” a detriment to society as a whole. Hal flung his bag over his shoulder while he fumbled with his keys, finally finding the one that opened the front door and pushing his way into the dark entryway, careful not to trip on the shoes littering the floor.

“I thought I told Wally to keep his shoes in the closet.” he whispered to himself with a quiet chuckle as he set his bag on the floor near the door. ‘I’ll fix that at a decent hour, right now I need food, a shower and my bed!’ he thought, making his way to the kitchen. There wasn’t much in the fridge, which wasn’t much of a surprise with two speedsters with accelerated metabolism living in the house and one of them was only eight, so he was always hungry. ‘And a real pain to keep up with.’ He mused, remembering how many times he almost lost his adopted nephew at various public locations, but he managed to find a bowl of pasta, which he tossed in the microwave and grabbed a glass of water to wait for the food to be warm. As an afterthought, he decided to check on the sleeping patrons in the house, heading to the master bedroom first, pushing the door forward a little to peek in at the disheveled mess of blond hair on the pillow before moving to the red door down the hall. Hal made sure to step lightly near his nephews room, Wally was a very light sleeper, an unfortunate left over from his time in his parents care. Hal didn’t know entirely what went down in that house only that his husband had gotten a call from his sister, Iris, that Wally was in the hospital and the doctors needed his closest relatives there.

//Flash Back//

He had thrown together an overnight bag for himself and Barry before driving the hour long trip to the hospital in Kansas City from Central in about 45 minutes, probably breaking every traffic law in the state to get to the little boy that meant to such to both men. Hal had been expecting a car accident, or a random kitchen disaster that had put the whole family in the hospital, instead they saw little Wally, dwarfed by the large hospital bed, in a medically induced coma to try and reduce the swelling in his brain from a blow to the head from his own father. It had been a hard day until the doctors brought Wally out of the coma, and then Barry and Iris had to have a serious discussion about who would take care of Wally, as no one was letting their sweet, kind hearted nephew go into the harsh treatment that is the American Foster Care system, Iris stressed that because of her job, she would be an unreliable guardian, so it was Barry and Hal who had adopted Wally into their home. Currently, Rudolf West was serving a fifteen year battery and assault charge as well as a twenty year attempted murder, which their lawyer had gotten tacked on and was able to convince the jury of, their lawyer was an anonymous gift from a not so local bat, as well as making sure that Hal and Barry won the custody case.

It had taken months to get Wally to adjust to their home, random things seemed to set him off into a panic, he wouldn’t eat unless given expressed permission even if the food was placed right in front of him, and any time either Hal or Barry raised their voices even just in a joking conversation the boy would start to get twitchy. After speaking to a specialist, they learned that these were likely knee jerk reactions that had probably once been the difference between getting hit and being safe, and given that those were his only tools he knew how to use, he was still using them, so Hal and Barry had to learn to look a little closer to see what spooked their nephew. For Barry, it was easier, he looked closely at things for a living, and soon recognized that Wally reacted to hand expressions, raised voices and the garage door opening and had started to work on reconditioning these things from bad to good.

Hal on the other hand, had some difficulty, it had often seemed like Wally had liked Barry better then him. It wasn’t until he noticed that there were some similarities between them that to an adult might not seem like much, but to a child were crucial. Hal liked to have a beer when he came home, Wally’s dad had often been drinking before or during a beating, Hal hooked his right thumb in his belt as his comfortable standing position, Wally’s dad stood like that before using his belt as a weapon, Hal raised his hands when he was passionate about what he was talking about, Wally’s dad raised his hands to do harm. It had taken a lot of time and patience before Wally had even spoken above a whisper to his uncles. The first time Wally asked to be held had been eight and a half months into living with them and Hal had let Wally see his tears, let him see how it wasn’t shameful to show emotions, and had sat with Wally in his arms for a solid hour, just holding him to his chest, tucked firmly under his chin.

//Back to Present//

The nest of red hair mixed well with the bright red of the room, Hal could see that Wally was curled onto his side, facing away from the door and knew that his nephew likely had his batman plushy tucked into his arm. With a soft smile, Hal closed the door and went back downstairs to eat his pasta. Fifteen minutes later, Hal made his way up the stairs and was about to push his way into the master bedroom when he saw a light coming from down the hall. Slowly making his way to the door from which it was coming from, Hal could make out soft sobs from behind it, knocking gently, he heard a scared gasp and a quiet “yes.” Hal slowly opened the door to see Wally sitting up, tears streaming down his face and his bedside lamp turned on, making his way over to the young boy’s bed. “Hey Hot-Rod.” He whispered, taking a seat on the edge of the foot of the bed. Wally bit his lip. “Hey Uncle Hal. I uh, I didn’t know you were home.” “I wasn’t till about half an hour ago.” “Oh.” Wally mused, looking down at his hands. Hal knew that look, it was the “I’m really uncomfortable and would like you to either skip to the point or leave me alone” face. Deciding on the primary, Hal bit the bullet. “Why are you awake Hot-Rod?” he asked, making sure to look authoritative but not intimidating. Wally squirmed a little and the muttered. “I, I had a bad dream.” “What about?’ Hal asked, despite having a pretty good idea what about. “About dad, he was yelling,” Wally sobbed, hiccuping slightly, “He was saying I was a, a mis- mistake. And that no one would ever want me, and that I’m a bad kid!”

Hal inhaled deeply, he wanted to rant, to tell his kid that his father was a piece of shit alcoholic whose brain was too destroyed by his own habits to have an intelligent thought. But that wouldn’t help Wally, so instead he put his hand on his boy’s shoulder, ensuring he had his full attention. “Listen to me Wallace West, you are not unwanted. You’re Uncle Barry and I love you so, so much. It would break our hearts if we ever lost you. And you may make mistakes from time to time, but that does not make you a bad kid, everyone makes mistakes, very few of them make people unlovable.” Hal really wished that this conversation were happening at a better hour because his brain was basically pudding, but the message seemed to get through to Wally because the kid nodded.

“Anything else on your mind squirt? Anything you need off your chest?” Hal pushed, and instantly Wally went pale and started to stammer.

“Promise you won’t be mad?” he asked, knowing on his lip again.

“I promise kiddo.” Wally seemed to relax a little and took a little breath.

“I, I wet the bed. I’m really sorry Uncle Hal, it was an accident, I won’t do it again, I pro-“ Hal raised a hand to cut off Wally’s rambling.

“It’s alright love, it was an accident, it happens to everyone at some point. Let’s get you cleaned up okay?” Wally nodded, and Hal slipped his hands under Wally’s arms, hoisting him up onto his hip, before grabbing a fresh pair of pajamas from his drawers. Hal took Wally to the bathroom and drew him a small bath, just around three inches of warm water.

“Okay kid, if you get yourself cleaned up, I’ll get your sheets in the washer and they should be okay for tomorrow, Okay?” Hal asked, receiving a small nod from the young redhead.

Hal quickly stripped the bed, throwing everything into the washing machine and setting a timer for it before returning to the bathroom. He knocked to announce himself, and slowly stepped in. Wally was wrapped in a fluffy towel on the floor, eyes half shut and his head drooping, Hal laughed and went over to support him

. “Hey Hot-Rod. Let’s just get you into some PJ’s and then you can sleep in okay?” He got a small nod in return, and helped dry the child off and step into some warm Flash pajamas. Scooping Wally up, he carried him to the master bedroom, which dismayed Wally a bit.

“But my room is over there.” He slurred, his arm moving lazily to point to his door. Hal smiled and rubbed his back. “I know kiddo, but it’s late and I really don’t want to have to make a bed, so I was thinking we could just have a sleep over. Alright?” Hal didn’t get a verbal response, just Wally curling closer to him, which he took as a yes. Hal turned to use his back to push open the bedroom door, quietly walking to the bed and drawing the covers back and placing Wally against Barry, before tucking both of them in and turning to the on suite bathroom. “Where are you going?” Wally rasped from his place in the bed, big green eyes peeking out from the pearly comforter. “I just gotta shower and change Hot-Rod, then I’ll be right there.” Wally nodded and laid his head down, while Hal went to take a shower.

//Ten minutes Later//

Hal exited the bathroom while shaking out his damp hair, he had changed from his civvies into a pair of boxer shorts. Looking into his bed he almost laughed out loud at the sight of Wally, curled into Barry’s arms, while Barry had a protective hand on the back of Wally’s head. Hal carefully slipped into the covers just as Barry opened his eyes. “Hey.” “Hey yourself.” Hal whispered. “There’s a Wally I our bed.” Barry teased, bringing the hand that wasn’t on Wally’s head over the boy to latch onto Hal’s. “There is a Wally in out bed.” Hal agreed, pulling his lover and their kid closer to him, tucking Wally beneath his chin, and touching his forehead with Barry’s. “Is he okay?” Barry whispered, his breath teasing the red locks of hair in front of him. “He will be Love, it’ll take some time, but he’ll be okay.” Hal pressed a kiss to the top of Wally’s head and pressed another to Barry’s forehead, wrapping his arms around them and hugging them tight, falling asleep to the sound of the Scarlet Speedster and his young nephews breathing. The entire family slept on. 

[guaminator]

Inspirational Artist Links: Performance Art

electric stimulus to face by Daito Manabe

My immediate reaction to this piece was one of discomfort. The dissonant, swelling electronic pad that was ever present while the chirps and beeps were going off gave it an almost unsettling feeling. A very curious piece, that’s for sure. All I could really think about is how uncomfortable each person must have felt. The way each of their faces reacted in a similar way to each stimulus was actually quite interesting. Syncing the pulses up with the sounds was really clever. Alter Bahnhof by Janet Cardiff I felt that this piece was really intriguing. The video feed from the phone’s screen and the “live” feed behind it really gave it depth. The perspective of having the hand holding the screen up and the sensation that wearing headphones gave was extremely immersive. When the dog ran up and started barking at the dancer it startled me, making me react as if the dog was in the room with me. The monotone and calm voice narrating and giving instructions was relaxing. The verbal descriptions of what was on the screen paired with “walking through” where everything happened was very well done. Bike Lanes by Casey Neistat Very amusing and very effective at conveying the message regardless of the text on the screen. I feel the message he was getting across would have been heard loud and clear even if the text was removed from the video. I applaud the dedication to the falls that he took. The background music added a more humorous feel to the piece. The finale was brilliant as well. Legend + Queen by Candice Breitz The concept of these videos was really cool. I found the little ad libs that certain individuals added to each song really interesting. Having no actual music playing really stripped down each song and emphasized the little “mistakes” people would make now and again. Taking a moment to focus on a single individual was also fun to do, watching how they danced (or didn’t dance) kind of showed off their personality. It felt as if each individual was plucked from a concert and had their voices isolated. Really cool piece(s). Meat Joy by Carolee Schneemann This piece was incredibly strange to me. I couldn’t really understand what was going on. It felt like a sensory overload with everything happening. I did feel the movements of the people seemed very fluid as if they were all a single organism. The music felt really out of place as well.

Vanessa Beecroft Interview + VB40 by Vanessa Beecroft It felt as if the subjects in her pieces were basically living statues. I like how the instructions she provided made the piece dynamic. Since each individual got more and more fatigued at different times it really gave the performance motion even when there’s very little movement involved. Very thought provoking in regards to beauty and body image. The Quintet of the Astonished by Bill Viola I remember this piece from an earlier module. I feel this piece really displays the spectrum of human emotion and how wide it can really be. As time passes you can really see the nuances in their expressions even though they aren’t exactly changing how they’re emoting. There really is something about being able to slow real-time down and sort of admire or examine everything.

Staging by Maria Hassabi

Just as she said in the interview, since the movement of the performers is incredibly slow, one can focus more on the space that the performance is taking place. Unlike “The Quintet” the slow motion in this piece is acted out which I found to be very intriguing. Watching the visitors of the exhibit during the interview was particularly captivating. The visible curiosity while people walked nearby was a spectacle in itself. Talking Tongues by Lisa Steele

During this piece I was listening the entire time but something about the delivery was awkward for me. It seemed very scripted but the story still struck me. Even though the story was ultimately fictional, I felt empathy for her. The sense of dread and just being absolutely fed up with everything she had experienced was very apparent. 

Perimeter of Square by Bruce Nauman

I found myself almost zoning out while viewing this piece for a few minutes. I started to switch my focus between the audio of the metronome and the movements the performer was making. I couldn’t exactly discern a meaning from it, personally. The repetitive nature didn’t inspire much thought or curiosity from me but maybe that was the artist’s intention all along. Punk Prayer by Pussy Riot

Knowing about how protesters and other activists are treated in Russia really made this piece more intense. There was a very clear message to both the government as well as the church through the lyrics. The use of vibrant colors on their outfits really contrasted against the cathedral interior. Their balaclavas showed a sense of anarchy and made the necessity of anonymity when speaking out against the Russian Government. Cut Piece by Yoko Ono

I think the call to action of this piece was what intrigued me the most. I’m not sure I would want to participate in this performance if I was able to. The interview stated something I found pretty interesting. There isn’t always exactly a “point” persey necessary for pieces like this. The art of the piece would have also been present even if no one decided to take the scissors and cut, I find that to be pretty interesting. Interior Scroll by Carolee Schneemann Reading the description of the piece it definitely was intended to shock. The amount of symbolism in this piece is very pronounced. Where the scroll was located and how she read it back while she extracted it was a clear, “I don’t care about what you think about my art.” There is an intense amount of feminism displayed from this piece. Shocking yet powerful.

Bound Mouth + Foot by Kate Wingard

I was anticipating more of the words written in pudding to be stepped on when it cut to the wider shot. The audio in this piece served as another artistic element, it was very difficult to listen to, personally. I was curious as to why the artist chose pudding, honestly. Wholesome by Megan Carnrite

This was difficult to watch, which I feel was the goal of the creator of this piece. I thought of the gluttony that seems to be overly apparent in America. The way the performer was framed was also intriguing, no identity, just a mouth constantly being fed. Roll of a Woman by Javid Rezvani

I thought this was incredibly creative. Something natural that every human being does is described in such a way that attempts to make the audience assume it’s a euphemism. Clever play on words in the title as well. How to Earn a Glass of Water by Dallas Scott

It really made me think of how those of us with easy access to fresh drinking water take that amenity for granted. The amount of patience necessary to watch a full cup of ice melt is insane. The runtime of the piece was something that I had trouble with. Even with it being sped up it took quite a long time for the finale of him finally drinking the water. Can Knot by Alexandra Gutierrez

The frustration was immediate for me once I saw the mess of cords and cables she started to unwind. Something that almost everyone can relate to be it with headphones all the way to extension cords. It made me think about how much time someone might take untangling cords throughout one’s lifetime. Just as the frustration set in immediately, the relief was immediate after seeing them all untangled and separated. Clever idea.